#I also remember I did this without refrence

[thingyanon]

I drew this a year ago in a sick, bedridden haze

[inactive-trashcan]

Finally decided to figure out my vision of the Fellowship based on the books as a celebration of getting a tattoo of Tolkien's Old Man Willow in couple of weeks :D

This story has always had a special place in my life so this was an amazing experience. I went kinda overboard so hobbits without travel cloaks and coats on top of super long yapping session about my design choises under the cut (I might be insane)

Gandalf:

I decided to include blue tones in his othervise gray desing because Tolkien many times gave him blue clothing pieces. For example, in the Hobbit he is described to have blue, long hat and in last parts of LOTR, just before the hobbits arrive to the Shire, he has a blue mantle. He also wears black boots, so I had to include them. I also love the idea that Gandalf has a gem-like stone in his staff that he lights up during the Moria part of LOTR. (I always thought that all wizards have some kind of special stone which represent them/their powers on top of their staffs)

Aragorn:

I approached this design thinking that this man has walked his whole life in nature, so I went with earthy tones for easy concealment in the wilds and shaggy looking clothes with small parts that wink at his noble lineage. Things I really wanted to include from the books to this look was the long boots and gray streaks in Aragorn's hair, because c'mon gray accents in otherwise black shaggy hair is the best idea Tolkien had for description of any character. I also wanted to include the elfstone he keeps showing off in the books and the star shaped clasp that his Dúnedain brethen have. His eyes are gray as Tolkien described, even though they are mostly hidden by his hair, lol. I also decided that Aragorn would gave pretty dark skin because his close ancestry to Númenorians, who were originally seafaring folk. It means that their skin would have been in straight sunlight during their long times in ships. Aragorn would also have been walking under the sun his whole long life, being Dúnadan and all.

Boromir:

This one was the hardest desing to do because of two reasons: 1. Boromir is my favourite character and I needed somehow not to give him super special treatment and 2. I actually love his look in the movies so making something all of my own was HARD. (I actually did steal the arm guards from the movies but they are such a great idea that I couldn't fully remove them from my mind) BUT enough yapping about him and onto his actual design: I wanted to show his high standing by giving him clothes with colors that have been expensive to make and also include the fact that Tolkien says that he has dark hair. I also love that Tolkien describes Boromir having fur lined cloak and silver collar with some kind of a stone in it, so I kinda went overboard with these two details. Lastly I added some silver tree motifs in his shirt and riding boots because he had started the jorney to Rivendel by horseback. I really went with my vibes with the horn because only thing I remember Tolkien saying about its design was it being silver tipped.

Gimli:

I hate drawing armor so this was actually hard design to set up too. I based everything on rectangular shapes to contrast Legolas' own natural ones and I really wanted to add a lot braids in his hair. I also tried to make refrences to Moria in his clothes because of its central importance to dwarfs. I really can't say anything deep about the colors other than I gave him a silver belt similiar to his dad's as a nice nod to his lineage. I also wanted to show that Gimli has used a lot of his life around hot forges and fires, so he has strong skin that is accustomed to it.

Legolas:

As I said, I tried to base all his decorations on natural shapes and looked into what kind of things archers usually wear. I talked about his footwear with my brother, and he suggested sandals that are easy to remove. I instantly fell in love with that idea. It makes it easier to Legolas to connect with the nature around him and walk barefeet if he wants to. He does have his dagger, but I like to think he has it stored horizontally in his belt at his back.

The hobbits:

So I wanted to give them as colorful, soft and comfortable clothes as possible and based them on 1900s english fashion. The gentlehobbits have different types of wests while Sam has his trusty gardening overalls with a lot of pockets to store tools and seeds in. I see Pippin having the most colorful clothes of all the hobbits so he has combination of red, green, yellow and brown in his clothes. At other side of this color variety is Frodo who would probably use one color suit combinations that are easy to move in.

[skelebellie]

so like many others, i’ve been watching Severance (Apple TV). here’s my quick little theory on the development of the story, so spoilers ahead.

I’ve seen in a previous post from someone else (who I cannot remember, sorry bookie), that Lumon is likely trying to identify which of the humors is “best”, or most suitable to conduct sufficient work in a compliant manner without resistance.

Essential to the concept is the Innies, individuals with no memories, a clean slate. Based around this concept, we have the four MDR members, who specifically represent the four humors. Who ill refrence below

Mark S. = Woe

Helly R. = Malice

Dylan G. = Frolic

Irving B. = Dread

These four humors also represent the emotions that can be afflicted when viewing certain “numbers” when refining the marco data. It’s my personal belief that in correlation with the employees themselves, the numbers may also respect testing subjects or future development behind Lumon. Specifically, that every number, in order to complete the quarter must be 100%. I believe MDR is the only department made of the four humors, and the rest are made of similar humors.

MDR is the headway for “Cold Harbor”, which may indicate the cryogenic freezing of DNA to recycle it into clones, as evident of Gemma and the goats (similar to sheep, often used for cloning). As MDR goes through data, it is “balancing” or even removing the humors of each clone to represent a perfectionist ideal similar to enlightenment, as Keir once did. Once “Cold Harbor” is complete, MDR will be disposed of, and a “perfect” clone will be created. For what they will be used for, I have no idea. It may also be why Ms. Casey seemed to emotionless.

What I think Lumon is discovering is that, humanity (the culpability to resist and think for one’s self) is developed from interaction between the four humors. And as such, a fluctuation within a person, represents the growth and developmental changes (Why Miss Huang becomes more ‘childish’ is because of a misbalance of humors). And that society develops as a whole by the interaction between the humors. Which is why MDR seems so forward thinking compared to the other departments.

Like Hippocrates, the four humors represent that a particular personality type or imbalance of humors can lead to disease (even death). The absolvement of all humors may lead to eternal life, or the perfect being.

This has probably already been discussed, and Im not saying anything new. But it’s a wonderful story to theorize on.

[firafruit]

Sketch Corner

Blue Lock Character Profile Study

Guess who finally got their laptop back! I did some quick sketch to calibrate my laptop color. Its not accurate, but close enough.

Also, i'm lowley kinda proud of this one ngl, since I drew this without refrence and just eyeballing the color lol.

My favorite's Karasu, obviously. Sae's side profile saved me time (man is gourgeous but I don't remember how he look like from the front). Nagi and Bachira are cute in this one. The worst, I feel like, either Rin or Yukimiya.

I DREW OTOYA FOR LIKE A SOLID 4 MIN AND HE TURN OUT TO BE THE BEST!!??? HOW!!??

[autism-autobot]

Refrencing this post: https://www.tumblr.com/autism-autobot/778294282527424512/erlang-to-li-jing-if-you-ever-upset-him-i-will?source=share

It gave me a thought, and now I'm suspicious. I might just be overthinking, but

I'm starting to think they should put Mac on watch, too. He always seem all too eager to pick fights with opponents he knows he won't win against just because he can or they gave him the excuse to. Though it might be more passive, subconscious, if you will. Like, I don't think he realizes it either. i can definitely imagine while going through the type of identity crisis he is, he wouldn't have the best grasp on the will to exist. I'm starting to see that despite once being seen as cowardly or overly cautious as an individual, he actually is really bad at it when he grows to care about someone, for better or for worse. He's quick to lose his temper, and all self-preservation flies out the window at any given moment. Also, something about his habit of flying off the handle when even the thought of harm coming to his "person" feels... trained... I mean, he could just be lashing out at the uncomfy thought of losing his current favorite person, but eh, the triggers seem too specific.

*Glances back at him getting jumped and immediately trying to brush off how scary it must have been for him. Is aurguably the most chill about what happened and was more shaken by how much Jing cared* The blatant disregard for his well-being in the name of loved ones is lowkey uncomfy, is he okay???

Like, I know this au is about Wukong's healing, and Mac was a bad guy to begin with, but are any of the people that still care noticing the kinda attack dog behavior? Was that there before his death in this au, or is this post lbd trauma?

ALSO, Monkey starts crying during every conversation about how Jing cares and LIKES having him around! The constant need for reassurance. The immediate tears and hopeful disbelief when told that even when he's doing nothing or actively being a pain he's still wanted and useful?! *insert The Rock eyebrow raise image* Little dude REEKS of self hatred and insecurity! If there's one thing I've learned in high-school its that someone doesn't need to be actively aware and/or SH to be passively suicidal.

This doesn't have to be canon, just some theories and thoughts that pop up now and then while reading.

- @fruit-fight

*Adds to list of "I wasn't doing this on purpose, but it makes too much sense to not be canon."* *the list is extensive*

Tw: suicide, self-harm, death mentions,

Macaque is going through it all throughout FloaPS so far, even if he doesn't seem like it on surface level.

Nezha is the one who picks up on it and tells his father because he's seen Wukong do the same thing. In his experience, people who've lost everything they ever cared about and maybe even themselves in the process can and might act in reckless and violent ways to keep what little they have left, if anything.

Nezha gets very worried once he realizes it because, unlike Wukong, Macaque doesn't have any illnesses or ailments holding him down and preventing him from seeking out methods; of what exactly Nezha isn't sure yet. With his shadow teleportation, he's even harder to keep in or out of places.

Macaque wasn't like that prior to dying. He was aggressive, sure, but not in a self sacrificial way. It was more about controlling and commanding those around him, at least the ones he felt like he could control. He used to play his cards very close to his chest. A lot can happen behind closed doors, and even DBK isn't entirely certain how low Macaque stooped.

LBD did massive damage to him. Even his personality is different from how it used to be without very much explanation as to why. Not that very many people remember what he used to be like beforehand.

Li Jing doesn't press the matter immediately, but he does get more worried about Macaque and keeps a closer eye on him.

Masterpost

[magixfairyix]

Mercy 02:

Continuation of this AU where Darcy spares Iorda's life and soon regrets it.

Takes place on Earth after season 8. Iorda shows up at the Trix's apartment.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Stormy opened the door and her face fell.

Shit.

"You three had better explain why you, one, look like how I described people who've tried to kill me," Iorda said with a glare, a small book—a diary—clenched in her hand. "And two, why the fuck I don't remember how I supposedly have magic according to this."

Stormy froze, hearing Icy and Darcy arguing without knowing who was at the door.

"Um... Icy!" Stormy called warily.

"What?"

"Darcy forgot to question if 'you-know-who' wrote everything down!"

Icy looked past Stormy to the door and she glared. She would have expected Darcy to think of all the ways this very stupid idea could've gone wrong, but Icy guessed that her sister was less swayed by logic and more swayed by a feeling of symapthy towards Iorda.

Darcy pushed down her expression that visibly showed her shock before she shook up, walking past Icy and towards the doorway. "Look, we don't know who you are. You—"

Iorda regarded Darcy with a cold look. "You, I'm not trusting."

Icy expected Darcy to continue trying to convince Iorda away, but Darcy gave a silent look to her that told Icy that her sister was aware that Iorda wasn't an idiot. If the girl wrote everything down then it would be obvious that she wasn't going to belive a single world out of Darcy's mouth.

"Fair..." Darcy said coldly with a shrug, stepping back.

Icy stepped back with Darcy, seeking to have a conversation with her sister. One on how to fix this and how to get Iorda away from them. They walked away from the door to leave Stormy to deal with Iorda, their sister making some sort of pop-culture refrence.

"This is why you finish the job," Icy hissed quietly under her breath.

"Point made, Icy," Darcy said, rolling her eyes. "You can yell at me later, but how are we going to get her out of here? She could tell the Winx if things go bad, knowing she also wrote about them."

Icy paused. 

"Should we...?" Icy started, gesturing a cutting gesture across her throat.

Darcy paused before shrugging.

"If you two are planning on killing me..." Iorda started, glancing past Stormy. She held up the necklase charm hanging from her neck. "Protection charm against dark magic."

Darcy shared a nervous look with Icy before feigning a laugh. "That won't work. We're po-"

Iorda gave her a deadpan glare. "I also wrote down that older ways of witchcraft still work against magic. Which I used to practice before coming to Magix."

Icy opened her mouth to retort, but Iorda saw that coming.

"And I'd rather have a conversation like adults than having one of you stabbing me," Iorda said bluntly. "So, what will it be?"

Stormy glanced behind her to her sisters, giving them a look that very clearly meant 'calm down.' Icy could very well go over to the kitchen and throw a knife at Iorda without giving her time to fight back, but if someone saw and allerted Earth's authorites then the Winx would most definetly find out.

Icy sighed, giving a nod to Stormy.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Iorda felt like she was stupid for going into the appartment of three people, more so witches, who had tried to kill her several times in the past. But what she needed was information, and she knew she wouldn't be attacked.

Hopefully.

"So, you three tried to kill me," Iorda stated. "Correct?"

All four of them were seated around couches and a chair. Iorda was trying to stay calm and composed, Icy looked evidently fed up, Darcy was honestly cursing her past self for not remember how stubborn Iorda was, and Stormy was hoping she wouldn't have to bail her sisters out of jail by the end of this.

"That we did," Icy said plainly, crossing one of her legs over the other. "Several times."

"Is that what happened after..." Iorda paused, trying to remember the name. "Acheron was locked inside the Legendarium? One of you tried to kill me?"

"Or was supposed to..." Icy mumbled under her breath.

Darcy sighed, glaring at Icy. "You want to do this now? Fine. You're the one who decided to give Bloom that Prime Star and give up power, so you have no right to blame me for doing the same thing three years ago."

"You didn't kill me?" Iorda questioned, looking at Darcy in confusion as to why the one who apparently hated her the most would spare her.

"Yes, I didn't kill you," Darcy said, rolling her eyes. "You're all caught up."

Iorda paused, looking between the three of them. "I'm your... magical balance, right?"

The Trix nodded.

"So why didn't you kill me?" Iorda asked Darcy.

"Even she agrees!" Icy exclaims.

"Never thought I of all people would say this, but would both of you shut up!" Stormy snapped, sighing as she looks back at Iorda when her sisters decide to stop arguing. "What do you want?"

"To know what happened between Acheron and now," Iorda answered bluntly.

"Why?"

"Because I've apparently been living in ignorance for three years," Iorda said in the same, cold tone of voice. "The Winx probably think I'm dead. I don't remember my freinds. Or how to use my magic to even get to them."

"Then leave," Icy said firmly. "Because we're not telling you how to get back to Magix so you can snitch on our location to your pixie freinds."

Stormy paused. "Well, we did help them-"

"And we've also committed crimes that can and will get us sent back to worse things than Omega," Icy interupted. "Even if we did help them one time. Which, I'm starting to regret."

"I wasn't planning on snitching on you three," Iorda said, slightly tierd from the arguing.

"As if we'd belive that," Icy scoffed.

"From the looks of things, you three are trying to live a normal life," Iorda explained calmly. "And if I do find the Winx, I've 'died' before. I came back when my magic kept me alive, and I can think of a similar excuse."

Darcy thought deeply about this. "And from the looks of things, you do owe us..."

"Bullshit," Iorda scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I stopped the Ancestors from posessing you three on that weird planet. You three have owed me for years for that, and also for all the times you've tried to kill me."

Darcy glared daggers at Iorda, realizing how much of a pain she still was.

"Things aren't even, but since you 'spared me,' I'll act like it is," Iorda said firmly. 

"Look, fairy, after Acheron got sucked into that book again we tried to take over the world again. Twice. We helped the Winx defeat Valtor, who came back. And then we came to Earth," Icy explained, standing up with her arms crossed in front of her.

"And your psycho of a sister wiped my memories," Iorda scoffed.

Stormy repressed a snort at that.

"That 'psycho' also spared your life," Icy sneered.

"You don't get to talk about morality with me," Iorda said sharply. "Miss 'let's freeze the fairy's wings off.' The only one who gets to is that one—" She gestured to Stormy. "—who doesn't have personal grudges against my existence."

Icy stepped forwards, anger in her eyes, before Stormy grabbed her wrist tightly. With a sigh, Icy begrudingly sat back down in her seat.

Iorda glanced to Darcy. "Is the spell reversable?"

"Of cource not," Darcy said, leaning back in her seat. "It's been three years. If you found out about the spell earlier, then yes, possibly. But its far too late to get any memories back."

"So you fucked up my head?" Iorda said coldly, reisisting the urge to throw the vase on the coffee table at the witch. "Perminantly?"

Darcy gave Iorda a look as if to say 'what do you think?'

Iorda sighed, rolling her eyes. "Can I re-learn how to use my magic?"

"Um..." Stormy started slowly, looking between her two sisters. "With help yes, but the Winx are y'know, not here and you can't open a portal on your own."

"So help me open a portal."

Icy scoffed. "Oh please. We can tolerate having a civil discussion with you, but we're not helping you in any way to contact the Winx or to bring you to them."

"Why?" Iorda questioned. "I'm not going to tell them."

"They'll question how you managed to open a portal without any help," Icy retorted. "They might not have many brain cells shared between them, but your technology fairy friend would put two and two together."

Iorda thought for a moment.

Darcy guessed what she was thinking.

"No no no," Darcy started. "We will not."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask," Iorda said firmly.

"What's going on?" Stormy asked Darcy.

"She wants us to teach her magic," Darcy answered bluntly, rolling her eyes.

"I-"

"Okay, get out," Icy said as she stood up, turning a glare to Iorda. "We spoke. You know what happened. But we are not going to help you."

Iorda breathed in slowly to calm herself as she looked between the three witches. She paused for a moment before standing up, shrugging. She'd find something. Maybe some information in her diary, though she tried to burry her hopelessness.

"Fine," Iorda said, turning and walking towards the door. "Horrible seeing you three."

"The feeling is murtral," Darcy responded.

Iorda bit back a reort as she walked, eyes scanning past a table next to the door with several papers on it. Some of them was just spam mail, but one of them was useful. Iorda was not the type of person to use blackmail, but surrounded by this compnay she could let up a bit.

She lifted up an eviction notice and turned towards the witches.

"You three are getting evicted," Iorda said, smirking slightly.

Darcy was the first to walk over to where Iorda was, snatching the paper out of her hand. She was fed up with Iorda coming here, even though that part was the witch's fault. She'd forgotten how irritating Iorda was in the first year; before she started trying to be a perfect fairy.

Stormy had busy trying to convince Icy to calm down and trying to keep her seated on the couch. 

"That is none of your buisness," Darcy sneered, stepping closer to Iorda who held her ground.

One thing that Darcy evidently hated about this area in Earth was rent and how high it was. Stormy and Darcy both had jobs while Icy kept trying to figure out how to save Diamond, as well as keeping the house from burning down. It was a good decision. Icy would blow thier cover if she'd ever gotten into retail.

But even if Icy got a job along with Darcy's at some clothing store in the mall, and Stormy's at the grocery nearby, the prices of the houses in the area were going up due to some nearby renovations and new buildings.

It was shitty luck.

"How about we make a deal?" Iorda asked.

"How about we don't."

"I have a place that apparently, once again according to this—" Iorda begins as she gestures to her diary again. "I bought after working in Magix for five years, and Earth. The area isn't—"

"We are not moving in with you."

"The area isn't as good as here, but it is still close to where you work here," Iorda said. The witch's interuptions were annoying her at this point. "You either help me learn magic and you can stay with me—more than enough space—or you can get evicted."

"I'd rather get evicted," Darcy answered. "You can leave now."

Iorda gave the trio a once over before turning around. "Good luck with finding out another person who will actually take you three in."

She opened the door and shut it behind her.

The three were silent for a moment.

"... once again, this—"

"Is why you finish the job. Yes, Icy I know," Darcy snapped.

[womanexile]

I'm going to play devil's advocate (and go delulu) for a moment here: I think Taylor's going to be single for a while now. Why? You're On Your Own, Kid. I've always read tracks 5's as the point of the album. Some examples (im trying to keep it brief and I apologize for spelling mistakes and auto-corrects, it's 1 AM where I'm at):

All Too Well from Red, an album about how complicated emotions can be, has arguably her most "emotional rollercoaster" of a song as track 5.

Dear John from Speak Now, an album loosely based on the concept of "things she should have told people, but never did." has a song directly addressed to Mayer as track 5.

tolerate it from evermore, which I always read as an album about moving on from the past, has a song that discusses a failing relationship (which is heavily implied to have been a marriage or just really long) which, at the end, Taylor is implied to be leaving due to how unfulfilling it is, even if it was once great *coughs in Joe Alwyn* as track 5.

my tears ricochet from folklore, which I always read as an album about directly addressing the hurt the past caused, but not healing from it, has a song that discusses the pain of losing a partner, but explicitly not moving on, as the man still wears the jewels, missing her, while also tossing out blame *cough in Hiddleston/Harris affair and Harry Styles (my favorite duo (Hiddle)/trio (Calcium being an intrusion to all that is good))* and Taylor still speaks to him, while screaming at the sky, and feels she can go anywhere, just not home (which I see as symbolism for love in all TS songs) as the track 5.

Delicate from reputation, which discusses forbidden romance, has the most obvious example of portraying the theme, while also subtly hinting at the relationship being over already in the bridge and her only reminiscing and hoping to be remembered *cough in rep is about Hiddleston delusion*, as the track 5 (yes, I'm the Hiddleswift truther from earlier, hello).

These are the most obvious ones, to me at least.

You're On Your Own, Kid is a funny song in all possible readings of Midnights. I take the album as the third part of the reminiscence trilogy, as I've dubbed it. folklore is about addressing the past, evermore about moving on from it, and Midnights about learning from it. I take each song as her comparing a past situation to her circumstances with Alwyn (YOYOK past situation is obvious so I won't talk about that).

She starts with summer went away, I've always taken summer as symbolic of Hiddleston, but her yearning for love remained, and she tried to play it off as if it's cool, even if it wasn't, because if she did, that relationship would blow up in both their faces, with people already thinking it was PR and Kanye being a clown.

Alternatively, it could be refrencing the end of the honeymoon phase with Alwyn.

She then waits patiently, wanting to be noticed by a friend she likes (Alwyn), whom she potentially chased just because she misses the summer. The anyway is to me, a timeskip, of sorts. He's distant now, smoking with his boys, likely without telling Taylor about it, given that she heard it in his voice (disappearing at random for reasons she's not sure about; I swear I saw paparazzi pics of him kissing Laird in 2022, but I can't provide links, I just know I freaked out) and she touches her phone like it's his face, maybe because they don't talk much anymore and there's distance. In regard to the town line, it might be about how she's grown more closed off since Alwyn. She didn't chose this, she wants to be more open, but she'd stay like this for him. Forever, if need be.

She thought she waited years to meet him, that he's the one, only to learn he never cared and there were better options. All this time she was on her own, and didn't even realize.

She then decides she'll run away because she knows he doesn't love her. The Daisy May part is interesting because that's a nice, obedient woman. Joe Alwyn? Controlling? I wouldn't be shocked.

Now, she takes a taxi to take her there. When else has she used the word taxi? Come Back...Be Here and New Year's Day, ladies and gentlemen, certified Haylor songs. She also mentions dreams not being rare, which Wildest Dreams, ladies and gentlemen, certified Haylor song. It also repeats the better bodies part, meaning Harry was, in her eyes, the better option at that point. I think, Harry and Taylor were communicating throughout COVID after the first Grammy meeting and Harry knew Taylor was having doubts about Joe, que Boyfriends and Matlida, and he may have helped her mourn the relationship before it was over. During their midnight talking chats, he finally told her he still thinks of her, and she acknowledges it here, saying he wasn't alone in that.

She then proclaims how much she's given for a perfect kiss, but it solved nothing, because Joe wasn't perfect and how her friends (also the world and the fans) won't know what to say when she tells them. How the jokes weren't funny (the ones about her being everything and him being just Ken), which she's probably from his perspective, but sarcastically, because it was true, and how she took all the money with her, because he has very little in comparison. Her gown is bloody now, because she just destroyed her chances of ever marrying Joe, whom she wanted that with. But this was a step forward and she shouldn't be afraid. And he can't take away her future experiences. He can talk shit all he wants, it won't change that this is good for her.

So she'll make some frienship braclets and just exist for a little. And she can do that. She's on her own. She has been for a very long time.

- Faithfully, a delulu Alwyn not-enjoyer

I think you’re right about TS & HS communicating right before Covid. I have a theory on this. Both their albums had just come out Lover & Fine Line ( on TS birthday). And there are several things I put together from articles & interviews. I might make a post about it. Covid hits & TS goes off & right folklore & evermore ( with lots of Haylor songs) and HS writes HH (which to me every song is about TS). Satellite he says “I can see you’re lonely down there” so yea Harry knew there were problems with them.

And I never thought about Delicate being about TH. Makes a lot more sense than joe. That timeline is all kind of whack. It doesn’t make sense to me. She meets joe April 29th & is just blown away by him & so into him then a week later she’s being all flirty with TH at the Met & completely ignores joe & gets with TH?

I think she’s probably gonna be single at least till the end of tour maybe. She’s super busy at the moment.

[minlahzz]

I can't send photos of Azrael but you've seen him before,,, he has a Silvally, Hisui Typhlosion, shiny Hisui zorua, mimikyu qnd a noivern--

He's an ex champion because N changed his whole view on pokémon battles and he just couldn't have fun anymore,, they stressed him out more than anything.

So he moved back in with Prof. Sycamore (who's like his "adoptive" father, (he worked with him and they developed a close father-son bond)) to do more research relating to mega evolution,,

A bit dense,, has abandonment issues,, sensory issues, some pretty bad habbits and pretty bad anxiety but his Silvally is usually out of its pokéball to help him. If he can't have his Silvallly, he'll have his mimikyu or if he can't, he'll probably stay home or do something that doesn't include going in places with a lot of people,,,

Ughhhh I gotta find out how he meets Onyx in a way that seems natural for the both of them,, but he helped keep an eye out for the Shiny Rayquaza and probably went to Area Zero or something with him -he was under the assumption it was to study new 'mons and stuff, he didn't really know that it was to stalk the rvt or anything like that.

Might get dragged into the whole Explorers gig depending on what happens next,, but he's just a researcher there or something,,, but he also might not he in the group, he might end up being a professor that works with them sometimes,,

I like to think that someone from the RVT found out that he's working with the Explorers back in the good old days and tried to stop him in a "They're a bad group" way, but he ignored it because he hasn't seen anything bad, and his really protective Silvally has accepted them,,, so he thinks that the Explorers aren't bad people-

Really random fact -> talks alot when he's nervous,, usually a bunch of random facts (he knows a LOT) or stuff he's into,

Idek,,, random ranting like you requested/lh,,

i love rants, i literally went like "THATS JEAN AND EM!" (if you get the refrencs) when i saw this in my inbox. i remember this guy so vividly i made a post about him before me thinks... (that's what i remember at least.) team is so unique and stacked i wanna know where he got that shiny hisuian zorua...

now what i'd wanan know is what did n do to azrael and what words did he say to make that man stressed out so bad he retired !? biggest party pooper now he's no longer champion... at least he became a cool pokemon researcher/professor/whatever works! from champion to mega evolution researcher is kinda sick, he didn't give up on pokémon he just found another way to pursue pokémon without making it hard for himself (and his pokemon) !!

professor sycamore the best father.

I relate to him alot one person could ruin the entire life I built if they tried, also I'm very dense too so cool. at least he's got a free therapist and comforter (his pokémon). his coping mechanism is very reasonable, bcs sometimes shutting off from the universe is the best way to calm down. another thing i relate to him about is the fact that i can't shut the fuck up when I'm awkward or nervous it's like my mouth goes on auto pilot and I'm self destructing. geeks are silly like yes I'd want to learn the strength and weakness chart of pokémon types tell me more king/queen !!

now for the meet up with onyx/sidian? that'd be interesting can't wait to see what you're cooking on that one 👀... their trope kinda cute though you got this brick of a person and this traumatized retired champion together, recipe for disaster and something really wholesome!

seemingly needs glasses too how do you not see the red flags about the explorers, their name is even copied from dora they're not good people ! somebody keep this guy in check. buuut pets do realize when something feels off from a person and maybe that also built his view on them.

the rant was tasty it tasted like perfectly toasted bread with honey (idk what I'm talking abt) azrael is pretty interesting and there's definitely more stuff that could make him even more cool, infact his team line–up enough won me over I love zorua.

[beebooks]

i finished a woman appeared to me (1904) and i am going to reread the introduction now that i know everything refrenced in it because i certainly didn't remember everything mentioned as i was reading

i liked 1904 but definitely prefer 1905. i think the writing is both stronger and easier to read. it relied much more on symbolism, as i said at times so much so that i was confused about what "actually happened". 1904 was much more dialogue heavy, lots of character monologuing, sometimes arguing back and forth. it was interesting and engaging enough, though i felt renee vivien's character was much more heavily criticized in that version, perhaps because there was more talking between characters, as opposed to 1905

san giovanni was one of the biggest characters to be cut between the two versions. she was a strange character, not so much because it's a case of two author inserts in one text interacting with each other, but because she was often so much more vocally critical of the pov character than even vally at times. she of course appears under different titles in 1905, but wasn't so much a person talking as an idea (other than the letters the pov characters sends that she replies too, though even then her identity is ambiguous) it was interesting to read (presumably) renee vivien's thoughts on her own writing and its reception, though i understand why it was cut from 1904. (or i somewhat understand. it seems a bit backward that the complaints about people's response to her writing is cut after she has gotten response on her writing. but maybe she just felt the same i do that it didn't add to the story)

another major change was the objects of vally/lorely's affection. in 1905 we are introduced to several different female lovers who all fall for her and are summarily discarded when they fail to arouse her amour, while in 1904 it's pretty heavily focused on her engagement to a man. the accusations of jealousy make more sense, and feature more heavily, in 1904 because there it is made clear that the pov disapproves of the whole affair, whereas in 1905 the engagement is only a small section, and the pov doesn't profess all that much jealousy towards the other lovers (perhaps because an engagement and, blasphemy to even think the thought, marriage, is a much more permanent situation and would take vally/lorely more definitively away from her)(also marriage is awful and humiliating and immoral)

what you do get in 1904 that you don't get in 1905, as i've already touched on, is san giovanni's thoughts, which one can assume at least resemble the author's own thoughts. her views on marriage and men are touched on in the chapter in 1905 when one of lorely's lovers gets engaged, but not as delved into as they are in the scene where san giovanni rants at a man for a bit. while at times she veered pretty heavily into radfem ideas about the Two Sexes, or at least uncomfortable ideas about the Female Principle(the good and the beautiful) and the Male Principle(beastial force and cruelty). a lot of 1904 was sitting around listening to san giovanni talk and sometimes commenting and maybe she acknowledged what you said but mostly she didn't. and maybe she called you an idiot

the last chapter is, as far as i can tell, very similar in both versions, except longer in 1904. it also felt more like vally was a person voicing her wants and needs in that scene than lorely did. lorely felt more like a final boss that has to be defeated than a person come to plead her case and try to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her ex back to her. eva also features more in 1904, which i missed in 1905 as i had to check the introduction to see who she was when she just appeared without explanation. in 1904 we see more of her previous to the end scene and she also seems more like a person who has her own thoughts and feelings on her girlfriend's past relationship

in contrast, ione was more her own person in 1905. her actions and thoughts are given more attention beyond just how seeing her worry makes the pov sad. i don't know really enough to speculate how the author's mind changed between the two versions that ione was given more attention the second time and her (as far as i can tell) still girlfriend was given less space and agency

i might change my mind as i ruminate more, i don't know, but i felt the pov character comes off as more likable in 1905, less like someone needlessly clinging to their own despair, and lorely is more distant than vally is. their relationship is also different, they interact much more in 1905 than they do in 1904. 1904 seems to me one where the feelings are much rawer, whereas 1905 comes across more polished in that aspect

[confused-they]

I just wanted to try my hand at debunking these. I am just adding on to OP! This is not directed at them! Hopefully I did the read more right. This is long(I think)

"It's just internalized homophobia"

Like imposter's syndrome? That happens to everyone for different things, but it doesn't make our sexuality any less valid. Worst case scenario, we figure out that we aren't asexual after all. That's still ok! We are humans, constantly growing and changing. Still valid <2

2. "This is a fake word"

Well, I've heard a lot of people inside and outside of the community use the term correctly. On the small chance it isn't in the dictionary, I still feel like it counts as a 'real' word. Even if it isn't a 'real' word, what's so bad about that? I think it's wonderful to see people discover things and adopt a new term to describe it and form a community. I just checked, it's in the Oxford dictionary(one of the definitions is for the sexuality too!) and I remembered that it also is a term in science to describe when plants and other organisms reproduce on their own instead of a 'male' or 'female' reproducing.

3. "This isn't a thing"

Refrencing the dictionary thing again, it is. Just because you haven't heard of it before/don't think it's real/don't agree or believe in it doesn't mean it isnt real. I despise the existence of tardigrades, yet they continue to laugh in my face and live their little microscopic lives.

4. "You are sexualizing minors by saying that 12 year olds can identify asexual"

What. How. ??? I don't see how giving children the tools to help them explore themselves is sexualising them. Even if you hate to hear it, puberty begins around that age. This is when children start becoming aware of their own sexual urges from what I've read. Ignoring that fact doesn't mean it isnt true. If 12 year old can feel sexual urges, then they should be free to identify how they want to. I feel the need to say that sexualizing any minor regardless of age is wrong. Don't take all of that the wrong way. Please.

5. Did the world get an update??? Did I miss the soul mate feature??? Seriously though, life is too short to wait forever for something that might not come. Even if you did find your special someone or whatever doesn't mean you aren't asexual. It's a spectrum for a reason.

6. "It won't encourage people to heal from their sexual trauma"

First, I don't know how someone comes to this conclusion. Second, don't you *dare* use someone's trauma like that to invalidate someone. It isnt even your business. They will heal in their own way. I still can't believe someone said this. Wow.

7. "Everyone has libido"

Who died and made you the expert of the human body? Everyone is different, there are definitely people out there who don't experience libido(it's me. i'm people.) Also, sometimes the brain and body aren't on the same page. Your brain might be like, 'ah, a normal day' then you look down and your body is aroused and you don't feel anything. People are weird!!! Who can say for sure that this doesn't happen to people?

8. "Words mean things, how can someone be ace if they have sex?"

Lets look at the definition of asexuality. 'Little to no sexual feelings/desires/attraction ' as many people have said before, attraction does not equal action. Even if it did, so what? Asexual people can have sex, they can experience sexual attraction occasionally, it doesn't matter! They are all valid, because it's a spectrum.

9. "You will never find someone who loves you because everyone else wants sex"

Well, that sounds like a them problem. But that's not even true!! It might be a little bit harder, but it's not impossible. Besides, people who aren't in a relationship or don't want to be in a relationship are valid(shout-out to my fellow aro-spec and aroace friends! Ily /p) Saying that having any sort of loving relationship without sex is impossible shows that you have a very small worldview. Wait, what about my friends and family? Or pets? Those kind of relationships exist

10. "Straight ace people aren't under the lgbt umbrella"

The whole straight people can't be lgbtq+ makes me mad because it ignores people with gender stuff(like trans, enby, genderqueer. I couldn't find a better way to word that, sorry) Anyways, ace people are queen. Fight me. If they are straight, great! Ask them for dating tips or whatever. Bring their partner. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Touch grass.

11. "You just want to be oppressed so bad"

My guy. Who wants to be oppressed. It fucking sucks. Having people constantly invalidate your existence is not fun. It's straight up dangerous for some people. It doesn't make us special or unique, it just isolates us and gives us more to unpack in therapy(if you ever find a therapist to come out to, don't get me started on that)

12. "Aspec stands for Autism spectrum"

As an autistic person myself, I haven't heard this! It doesn't really matter if it also stands for autism spectrum. The term also applies to the aromantic spectrum, aplatonic spectrum, and the afamilial spectrum. There might be more that I don't know of! I don't see why that is a bad thing.

Whelp, that's it! Sorry if parts don't make sense, I'm tired. If you disagree, have more to share, or just want to chat, @ me or send an ask! Just don't be an asshole. This is not directed at OP or the blog I reblogged from, I've just seen similar arguments before and wanted to try and refute them. Feel free to use these if you need to!

Acephobic talking points:

"It's just internalized homophobia"

"This is a fake word"

"This isn't a thing"

"You're sexualizing minors when you say 12 year olds can identify as asexual"

You haven't met the right person yet"

"It will encourage people to not heal from sexual trauma"

"Everyone has libido"

"Words mean things, how can someone be ace if they have sex?"

"You will never find someone that truly loves you, because everyone else wants to have sex"

"Straight ace people aren't part of the lgbt umbrella!"

"You just want to be oppressed so bad"

"Aspec actually stands for autism spectrum"

I heard or saw every single one of these, and they're not true arguments. They can be easily debunked. Don't reblog posts that say this shit, just block people like that.

[albon-o-positive]

rating the drivers based on their current haircuts

lewis: 100/10. undeniably the best hair on the grid. when he had his hair up in the two little buns(?) near the start of season I damn near became teamlh

george: 6/10. I personally don't think it serves cunt but it gets the job done. preferred his williams haircut but this one does make him look older so

charles: 9/10. to be fair I think any haircut this man could possibly get it'd still look amazing. life is so unfair

carlos: 9/10 also. ferrari should rebrand to the good hair team. mattia is not included because he wears a clown wig constantly

max: meh. 4/10. don't love it. to be fair I feel like I only see his hair when it's really gross and sweaty when he takes his helmet off

checo: 5/10. just a man's hair

daniel: 8/10 for the glow up. because godamn his hair in toro rosso was not serving cunt. it was doing the opposite. removing cunt so to speak

lando: 6/10 I am a lando curl enjoyer who also likes consistency. I have not been receiving either of that from him. to be fair like, he had that r e a l l y bad haircut a while ago which like anything in comparison is better, but max f's brother has not been doing his hair well I'm jusy gonna say it

mick: 6.5/10. he got a haircut recently and I really didn't like it. I can't exactly remember what it looked like before but I want him to go Back. I like it when he is boyfriend shaped

kevin: 6/10. viking hair. I respect it

alex: 8/10 for the red hair. personally I think he should bleach it and then re-dye it red so that him and I can match and also because then it'll show way more. but I think that's just me being selfish

nicky: 4/10. not a fan. can't really remember what it looks like (I'm writing all of these without looking a refrence) but I know I'm not a fan

seb: please don't hate me. please don't hate me. please don't hate me. 2/10. I don't like the long hair I'm so sorry please don't hate me

lance: -100/10. I'm sorry lance but what the fuck. his hair looked way better last season what did he do to it????? just like ferrari I think Aston need to rebrand...

val: 5/10. just a guy's haircut. neither here nor there but it's solid I suppose

guanyu: 9/10. very very very solid hair cut. looks good. accentuates his features. I like your cut g

pierre: 6/10. it's... okay. I really liked the blonde streaks he had during toro rosso. bring them back pls. or is there not enough money in the rbr budget for bleach

yuki: 5/10 okay I love yuki soso much yeah but I just Do Not vibe with the hair cut. I will let him off gently though because he looks like he takes good care of it

fernando: 4/10 it's okay??? I've never really thought about his haircut prior to this. can't say im a fan though

este: esteban I am so sorry but it's a 3/10 from me. there's just. so. so much better haircuts you could have

this is all in good fun and also just my opinion so pls don't take this as me attacking any of the drivers :)

EDIT: I manifested blonde Alex for you all ur welcome xx

[novaalexander]

Grew Apart [TASM!Peter Parker x Reader Oneshot]

Based On Grew Apart by Logan Mize and Alexandra Kay

Warnings/Before you read : ANGST ANGST ANGST maybe i’ll do a part 2 if people want it. Cursing aswell but thats to be expected in my works. Theres only one part where its refrenced briefly, but pretend TASM!Peter faced Defoe’s Green Goblin. Also totally not proof read i rushed this

Word Count : 1244

everything novaalexander

A/N : writing this because it’s easier than writing my personal essay for common app ... if yall have advice for college essays tho lmk bc idk what to do ... anyways on w the story

     I don’t tell ‘em all the things you said      I don’t tell ‘em ‘bout the night you left

     “Either you’re gonna tell me what the fuck happened last night, or you're gonna stop bouncing your leg around and watch the game,” Harry sighed as Peter huffed in response, crossing his previously bouncing left leg over his right. He’s been like this since Harry got there and it bothered him; not knowing why y/n’s stuff was gone when he entered Peter’s studio apartment. Honestly, the open room felt slightly deserted without what used to be traces of Peter’s girlfriend. All that his best friend told him is that she left the night prior.

     “I hate you,” it came out more like a cry than the statement y/n meant for it to be, “I hate you so, so much. And I can’t believe I wasted two years waiting around, BEGGING for you to care.” Whether she believed it or not didn’t matter, because her words stung Peter. She wanted them to hurt, she knew they would; because y/n l/n knew everything there was to know about Peter Benjamin Parker. 

     “Then leave..” He whispered, jaw clenching tighter with every step he took towards the girl.

     “What did you say?” y/n’s eyes squinted in mock confusion, mixing with the sadness that was quickly bubbling to anger. Head tilting upwards slowly, keeping eye contact with Peter until the very second she could feel his hot breath against her eyelids.

     “I said leave.” 

     And that was all y/n needed to hear in order to push past the boy, storming to the dresser near their shared bed and putting almost ever single one of her belongings into the brown luggage under her side of the mattress. 

     “It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Peter finally said, and it felt like he was breathing for the first time, almost like he has been holding his breath since the second y/n closed the door behind her. “It just didn’t work out.” 

     Brown eyes lifted to meet blue, and Harry felt sympathetic. Not because he believed Peter, no. The sympathy stemmed from the knowing feeling that his best friend was lying, that he was truly hurting and was lying about why. 

     “She’s a good girl-”

     “She just wasn’t the one. We wanted different things...” another breath, this one deep and shallow in an attempt to keep his voice from shaking. “We had a good run.”

     Harry was frustrated, and he didn’t know if it was at or for his bestfriend because he knew he didn't have the full story. “Do you remember what you told me last week?” Harry gripped Peter’s shoulder, sharpening his gaze in attempt to get Peter to break, “All you did was go on and on, saying how you thought you were going to marry her one day, ” he lowered his voice, “and you want me to believe that nothing happened in the last four days since I saw you. That you and y/n just-”

     “We grew apart”

     “Oh that's bullshit, y/n”

     In response, y/n kicked her feet up on the coffee table and waved around the chocolate covered spoon in her hand. “Its not bullshit, Gwen. Breakups happen all the time, sometimes you just know when its time.” y/n stabbed the spoon into the remaining ice cream, placing the tub on the table by her feet.

     “You’re right,” y/n sighed in relief before Gwen continued, “breakups do happen every day.” She paused to think, not knowing how her next sentence would affect y/n. “And you’re right, sometimes you just know when its over. But is your two year anniversary really the time to decide that?”

     Y/n winced slightly at this, Gwen’s eyes softened.

     I could tell ‘em how you came in late

     I could tell ‘em how you looked me in the eye

     And told that lie with a straight face

     Two hours is how long it took y/n to get ready for their anniversary dinner.

     Two more hours is how long y/n spent sat on the couch, pacing around the kitchen, and ringing Peter’s phone numerous times, before finally deciding to wash her face and put her pajamas back on.

     Two more hours is how long it took Peter to come home.

     “Where were you,” y/n huffed out, eyes not looking up from her phone in an attempt to keep the little self control she could muster.

     “Work, but I’m here now,” Peter walked to y/n’s side of the bed, “with flowers...” he trailed, his girlfriend’s eyes still not meeting his as he leaned down to kiss her head.

     “Don’t you get tired of lying?” She finally looked up, a condescending smile played on her lips, contrast to the shakiness in her breathing. Standing from the bed, she spoke again. “Unless there’s a fight club under the Bugle, you’re gonna need to come up with something better.” She took Peter’s confused expression as fuel to keep arguing, watching as he reached up to wipe blood from the cut on hip lip. 

     “Is this how its gonna be, Peter? You’re gonna pretend to be confused, not gonna tell me where you REALLY go every night?”

     Peter knew he shouldn’t get riled up, knew not to burst when she was this close to losing it on him. The thought of spilling the truth came and went with each breath he took in and let out.

     Spider-man a voice in Peter’s head nagged. The voice of Green Goblin, then of Dr. Connors, then finally, y/n’s voice. Teasing him as if she already knew, like she was waiting for him to spill it out so she could dump him for putting her in that sort of danger.

     “Work,” he said again, jaw clenching as his eyes shifted from the ground to y/n, then down again.

     A forced laugh fell from y/n’s lips, and Peter felt sick. “Fuck you, Peter Parker. This,” her pointer finger moved between the two of them, almost accusingly. “This isn’t healthy. I waited till eight-fucking-thirty, on our anniversary, for you to pick me up for a six-thirty fucking date.” She screamed. For the first time since Peter walked through that door, y/n yelled until her face was red and throat sore. “I called you fifty fucking times, Peter. I burned a hole in the floor, pacing, worrying that something happened to you,”

     She knows is all Peter could think

     “Until I realized that you were just late. Typical Peter Parker, couldn’t even be on time to his own FUCKING anniversary dinner that HE planned. Couldn’t stay true to one fucking commitment, Peter. Is this how I’m supposed to spend my life?” y/n needed to breathe. 

     When Peter didn’t respond, y/n forced another laugh. This time it was hoarse, and it burned slightly when she felt it leave her throat. “I hate you”

     “He’s better off, and so am I.” 

     When y/n looked up, Gwen smiled; it was an understanding smile, not laced with pity or forced sympathy. She knew y/n wasn’t going to talk down on Peter, even if he deserved it. She wrapped an arm around the other girl’s shoulders, allowed y/n to lean her head against the blonde.

     Gwen didn’t say anything when she felt her friend shake, and a few drops of salt water fell onto her hoodie.

     “We just... grew apart”

———————————————

A/N - i hope yall liked it !! today has been a surprise return to writing after quite a few years, so please lmk your thoughts bc im defiantly a little rusty !

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

[justsomeectoplasm]

Some more Resh content for ya’ll

A very rough and heavily refrenced full body of my version of Resh and a few lines I think he would say. I still stand by my headcannon that his voice would sound like scar from the animated movie of The Lion king.

Anyway, backstory, notes and stuff under the cut (Watch out, it’s very long and very messy. Tumblr fucked up the formatting a bit.)

·Alef was considered a blessing.

 A child of light that fell from the sky could be nothing more than a sign from Megabird themselves

He was hidden by his mother who found him as she was stargazing and was later revealed by accident. The civilisation decided that he needed to be presented to the elders.

After that, Alef’s existence was made known by the elders, who elevated him to a royal status. They believed that this was Megabird’s gift for them: A future king to help rule the kingdom. He was dubbed prince and the elders had decided to prepare him to become a king.

·It was…stressful. There were so many expectations placed on him and he excelled in nearly every challenged he was given, but he was still considered not good enough by the elders who gave him a royal status in the first place.

One day, Alef had enough and set out to proof to the others that he is worthy of the title of king. And he did.

On his journey, Alef discovered dark stones. A creation that, if combined with light, could produce energy that will become the basis of most advanced technology.

Finally, the elders acknowledged his efforts. As a final test, Alef was sent to complete the four trials. He completed every single one and was crowned king when he was but a teenager.

The first few years of his ruling went great. Civilisation was growing and he was an excellent king.

But doubts started to rise when some of Alef’s citizens were questioning his creation. Those doubts grew into questioning if Alef was a good ruler to begin with. There were even attempts of overthrowing his rule by small rebel groups

Alef snapped. He finally had his title of king right in the palm of his hand, and it was slipping away through his fingers.

·He changed. He morphed his body into a hollow husk filled with darkness to seem more intimidating and he changed his name to Resh, a name he thought was befitting of his title as king.

Resh started to mass produce his dark stones, going as far as killing off light creatures to harvest their light. He even morphed some of them into creatures of unspeakable terror, never to change back again.

He was unstoppable. He ruled the kingdom with an iron fist and he was quite terrifying. His rise to power was his greatest achievement.

Unfortunately, it was also his downfall.

How the eden castle works.

So, most of the castle is gone. This was due to the darkness taking over. There only remains a few rooms and areas, and those are:

o   The royal garden

o   The throne room

o   The chambers

o   The court

o   And finally, the Royal library.

Resh changes when he exits the castle. He becomes more monstrous and disturbing.

There are still some spirits working around the castle. Although, you can’t relive their memories. They do strangely treat skykids as royalty though. I wonder why….

·Resh’s pets and creations are also more active at the bottom of the castle. Although, I wouldn’t recommend meeting them…

Resh’s personality

Resh is an….unstable man.

One moment he’s quiet and brooding over small things and the next he’s on a rampage destroying what’s left of the castle.

The solitude and the guilt of his actions is driving him insane. It doesn’t help that he sometimes sees a child of light dying in stormlock. (His main balcony from his throne room overlooks it)

Don’t think that he’s a lonely soul that lives in his castle though. He has a sadistic side to him that he picked up in his ruling and he likes to toy with others. His favourite victims are ones who claim to worship and serve him (He finds their devotion to him interesting and foolish.) He’s also rather sly and selfish.

His memory is foggy and he struggles to remember names of certain people in his life. He even forgot about his own mother’s face, how tragic.

· Resh is pessimistic and he rarely smiles.

·And sometimes you’ll see it. That little child that fell from the sky. Whether it’s the glint in his eyes or the way he fondly smiles at the pictures of his past that he stored away in the library. He’s still a child, underneath all that darkness.

Extra details (Such as design notes and other stuff)

Resh cries a black substance sometimes. This is a symptom of darkness when he rid his body of all light.

His favourite flower is a white everlily, a complex flower that often represents both royalty and death. He ordered that his garden would be filled with it.

He despises those who come to him to seek more darkness. He sees them as part of his mistake and thus, without even a hint of hesitation, yeets them off his castle.

I originally planned him to have earrings and he was supposed to be faceless. His head would form crown-like horns, similar to the one pale king from hollow knight has. But I dropped the idea and chose a simpler crown design. I dropped the earrings since the crown took up 90% of the rendering.

His body is like a full armour set and it sounds like it’s being held together by rubber bands. Every time he moves you hear snapping and creaking noises. He’s menacing af and he moves swiftly. But sometimes he struggles against the weight.

[taki118]

Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better. 

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch. 

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should, 

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times. 

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing 

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure. 

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT  that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development 

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference 

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters  who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural. 

6) The Characters 

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional  healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season. 

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great. 

- Dr. Byron Orpheus 

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad. 

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters. 

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense. 

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up.  - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group.  Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim​ for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

[popculturebuffet]

March of the Penguins: Surfs Up! Review (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy pengy’s and welcome back to march of the penguins, my kev sponsored look at pengy media in march. If you wondered why there wasn’t an instalment last week, I was sick and thus this was my natural state for the last few days

As such I had to cut the opus segment, but I feel this is a fun enough theme to possibly do again next year. Still your getting both surfs up movies so...

So for those of you wondering why Surf’s Up, the short answer?

The longer answer is that like me Kev saw this film once, both of us in theaters, and vaguely remembered it, but otherwise forgot it... till he found out ten years later, WWE made a sequel to it, which i’ll be covering next week. This left him with an obvious question

I don’t have the answer yet, I may never have it. It may be one of those big cosmic what if’s. But I was still intrested enough to agree to the reviews and to dive into this film I half remembered and it’s sequel that honestly probably shoudln’t exist but does because like me, vince mcmahon is made of stone. Unlike me he’s made of lovecraftian insanity, hard tack, essential oils and screaming, but point is I’ve got some pengy movies to review. 

I couldn’t find much on the making of this film sadly, but to compesnate i’m going to reflect on something amazing: this was the SECOND film ever done by sony pictures animation. Yes before we got four hotel transylvanias, the best spider-man movie, a few aardman movies , and about half a dozen films cerfied by the fda to give you scabies, it all started with a buddy comedy that got three dtv sequels for some reason and this movie about surfing penguins. It’s just weird to think that an animation company I didn’t think much abou tall the way back then has had such a varied history. But with such a topsy turvey history was there any good in this one or did it wipe out at the start? Join me under the cut to find out. 

The Trailers Before Surf’s Up

This is a fun stupid side adventure I cooked up. See originally I was going to watch the film on Tubi, as I will with the sequel. But last week, just before my cold punched punched me in the face, I went to my library after far too long and got my card unblocked. And while for the most part it’s meant drowning myself in the wide and glorious variety of manga from my youth and various adventures of phoebe and her unicorn, it also meant checking to see if the library had the movie so I could watch it add free. It did so I did but that wasn’t entirely true as I forgot one of the funnest parts of old dvds, the ads. Seeing films from long ago I saw shoved in my face constantly on kids networks while I was just trying to watch chowder and total drama dammit like any respectable high schooler, it was nostalgic for me and fun too. So I thought id break them down both for my own amusment and to give kev some extra content since while I obviously coudln’t control this being delayed the way it was, I still feel bad it took this long. So without further adeu...

Water Horse: Legend of the Deep While i’ve never seen this film I remember getting bombarded with ads for it on cartoon network which only brought one thought to my head. 

It’s your usual mediocre kid movie: kid finds cg dragon monster, has to keep it from his mom along with his dad, uncle, mom’s sex buddy, weirdly age gapped brother, comic relief, child with benjamin button disease, hamster piloting a human whatever he is, and also there’s a kraven the hunter afoot they have to protect their new friend whose also the loch ness monster from. I just told you the entire plot and i’ve only seen the trailer. 

Daddy Day Camp:

This film’s mere existance has haunted me for the past century. See I liked Daddy Day Care. Partly because it refrenced the flash, partly because back then i Liked anything steve zahn was in, and partly because I also liked Jeff Garlin back before he was replaced by a terrifying cgi cutout because it’s more plesant than actually having to work with Jeff Garlin. I watched it far more than a middle schooler probably shoud’ve as it was one of my only dvd’s. So getting bombarded with ads for it’s shitty half assed sequel no one asked for that had none of the original cast filled me with a weird and deep hatred. 

Now i’ve grown as a person, allegedly. I’ve come to face harsh truths: Steve Zahn is awesome but picks very shitty films including the very film that made me love him Saving Silverman (That I may still cover because it is insane. Let me know or comission me if you want to see that), shitty sequels exist and Daddy DayCamp is throughly mediocre. But I still hold a special place in my colon for Daddy Day Camp as the defintion of a lazy sequel: They had no money to get anyone of note back, as evidenced by resulting to oscar award winning star of Boat Trip Cuba Gooding Junior, the kids are lazy hackneed bits including one named mullet that was in every tv spot for this because they were actually proud of a mullet joke which unless it’s about superman’s glorious permed mullet is never acceptable, and just looks hilariously half assed. Maybe i’ll also cover this thing some day. 

Storm Hawks:

The only tv show of the bunch. I remember it exists and has a fun setting nad character designs (i’ve always been a sucker for sky settings), but otherwise was just your standard action show. Still it got nerd corps far enough to make slugterra which was equally cliche but also had one of the best mons premises of all time in “SHOOT THEM AT EACH OTHER DAMMIT”. 

Spider-Man 3:

Now we’re into films I have seen and I rewatched both of these last two films decently recently. I watched Spider-Man 3 around no way home as I was showing my neice the rami films. She like dem even if she dosen’t like this version of venom. It wasn’t as horrible as I remembered, but it’s still not... good and while disco peter is enjoyably stupid, the scene with him dancing in the club is to superhero movies what the I think I love you scene from scream 2 is to horror. An embarsing moment we’re still not sure why or how it happened. 

Monster House:

Rewatched this one with @jess-the-vampire​ around halloween. Really damn fun and REALLY fucking killer animation. Seriously it’s gorgeous. Also connecting it to this film it was one of several John Heder did before his napolen dynamite fame evaporated. 

The Plot of Surf’s Up:

Surf’s Up is your standard “Punk ass kid has a talent his family and hometown dosen’t undrestand so he runs off to try and fufill his dream, it’s harder than he expects, his idol isn’t who he thought, he makes friends and learns the true meaning of things was love of friendship or no traffic accidents, he has a force love intrest, dedrich bader as a pengin trys to fuck a trophy”

You know a regular kids movie. But so you know what i’m talking about i’ll go into a bit more detail. 

Surf’s Up is a mockumentary, following the tenth anniversay big z memorial. Big Z was the world’s greatest surfer but apparently died a decade ago. But 

So you can probably see where this is going. So every year they have the Big Z Memorial at pengu island, the biggest surf spot in the world to honor him. So a camera crew heads off to the cold north of Shiverpool to follow a rookie surfer named Cody Maverick (Actual Cannibal and Actual Actual Abuser, Shia Le Bouf) , who thanks to Z visiting has had a lifelong obession with surfing despite having no real experince. Despite the scout not wanting to take him, Cody chases the whale their riding to get his shot, and heads to the island. 

There he encounters your stock characters: Love interest Lani (Zoey Daschenel), comedy sidekick Chicken Joe (Heder) and rival and boisterous asshole Tank (My boy and underated va legend Dedrich Bader), flanked by his manager, formerly z’s, Reggie, played by public nusance james woods. For some reason the film thinks we need a pixalated nut shot of reggie

Weird Sex Stuff In This Franchise Count: 1

Trust me.. one clip from two tells me we’ll need this. 

So after some shenanigans, Cody challenges Tank after he disrespects z, he wipes out bad and is prepared to quit , and he gets peed on by Z while he’s headling Cody, as he’s lani’s uncle and also pretending not to actaully be z even though the audience called that he was still alive about 30 minutes ago. Also

Weird Sex Stuff in This Franchise Count: 2

So naturally your standard shonen traniing arc occurs as Z has cody wax on, wax off, building a board and doing various stuff to ballance him while Cody opens the old curmodugeon’s heart. Eventually they have the falling out you expect when it turns out Z faked his death not for tax purposes but because he was afraid of loosing, hence why he dosen’t like competition. Cody goes back to surf, Lani yells at him, and Joe returns from his 20 minute comedy plot involving obnoxious savage native sterotypes that took 20 minutes of my life I wish I could get back. 

The finale is telegraphed: Cody gives up his chance at winning for friendship and fun and lets joe win, and has to navigate some deadly rocks with Z’s help. Z comes out publicly, reggi’es career is ruined and Joe is king of the beach at least till joker zaps him with the surfing skill drainer and vigor reverser. 

The Things I Liked About Surf’s Up:

Before I get into why I was mostly EHHH on the film I do feel some credit is due on the things it does right.

The animation.. is drop dead gorgeous. While Sony Pictures has made some questionable decisions, at their best and even sometimes at their worst the animation is a fucking wonder to behold and Surf’s Up, even this early is no exception. The water effects are top notch, something that later netted them Aardman’s underated Pirates, and the characters all look vibrant and intresting.  Except Reggie but it’s hard to make james woods not look like a reanimated corpse even in animation. It’s why Disney just leaned into it. The surfing is also just utterly fun to watch, on par with lilo and stich’s own landmark sequences, and ther’es some great pov shots that i’m astounded they pulled off in animation. The film may be light on plot and subtance but it DOES have style. 

Next the mocumentary idea is good. The execution dosen’t really work as they don’t really do anyting intresting with it and frankly a standard kids movie plot just dosen’t fit. The film would’ve been better if it was essentially an animated christopher guest movie: add a few surfers, have some comedic talent voice them. It’s not hard and i’ts something I do hope is tried again as I love a good mocumentary but here it’s really just an excuse the pad the film out. A LOT of the run time is just ad libbed attempts at jokes by the cast and while Heder, Bader and Daschinel are talented, they aren’t great at improv. 

The final thing i’ll give it is Jeff Motherfucking Bridges. The dude himself is great in anything and one of my faviorite actors now I think about it. So of course he’s fun here as Z, perfectly cast as the worn out surfer and serves as the perfect comedic foil to Shia “shouty pants” Lebeef. Every moment he’s on a scream, dramatically and comedically makes the film better. Z himself, while not the most original character, is still engaging, if entirely thanks to bridges: he’s funny, you get why he quit and his arc of getting out of his own ass and rejoining the world again as he regains his love of surfing is geninely touching, with the final scene , as mentor and mentee surf with tons of other surfers for the fun of it, being incredibly charming. I mean it’s set to get what you give by the radicals, so it has some help but Z is a geninely good character and I dread going into the sequel without him. Speaking of which. 

Everything Else About Surfs Up:

I will say Surf’s Up is not a terrible movie. Outside of some blatant padding and a quetsoinable moment or too, I was never offended. But it is a very forgetable film. Me and Kev both forgot it because.. it just dosen’t have that much. It has a decent soundtrack.. bu tone that by this point had been heard in tons of better movies. It has a decent cast but two of them have ruined any good will they built up and the rest aren’t given much to work with.

And a big part of the problem is the format: a mockumentary requires decently sized personalites. They can deadpan saying insane stuff, but you need oddballs talking to the camera or engaging personalities for it to work. But the characters are so thin outside of z that it dosen’t work at all. Cody is a try hard, his brother glenn is a giant asshole and a waste of brian poshen who spends all his screentime bullying his brother and making me wish a walrus would come for him in the night and put me out of my misery, lani is a genric love intrest, chicken joe is just “wow he’s kinda spacey” which works once or twice but dosen’t really work overall and Tank is just a generic bully whose only real comedic set peices are bullying children and not so subtly implying he fucks his trophys. 

Weird Sex Stuff In This Franchise: 3

There’s just nothing there to latch onto. I don’t care if Cody wins often because while I want him to show his brother wrong, he’s also so annoying half the time because Shia LeQuack is playing him that despite WANTING to root for him he makes me instead want that walrus to take another pass. I don’t care if chicken joe finds cody because he only met him yesterday, and I don’t care if cody and lani get together because again they met yesterday and their only together because the plot says so. 

And the message of the film, while valid it’s okay to just have fun with a hobby... dosne’t work. Cody’s wanted this his whole life. The message should be you don’t need validation, you just need a passion for something. To enjoy it. It dosen’t hlep lani yells at cody for wanting to win.. despite NEVER HAVING ASKED HIM WHY HE WANTS IT SO BAD. Instead of tying his need for the people back home who never got him to love him into his main character arc naruto style, they just ignore that he has a valid freudian excuse for being so competition focused and focused on z: Z Beleived in him when no one else did. 

The film is just flat and lifeless. It has a lot going for it but in the end.. it’s just a lot of nothing and trophy fucking. It’s memorable because it looks good but they didn’t bother ot put something that feels good underneath. It’s far from the worst animated film i’ve seen but it’s just right in the middle where it belongs and where it’ll likely fade from my memory again. 

Anyways join me next week to see Vince McMahons weird fetishes, join my patreon bellow to help keep the lights on and ask, or comment. Let me know what you thought and follow if you want more nonsense from me. Next time it’s the 400TH review as I tie a ribbon on a retrospective i’ve been working on for almost the entire span of this blog thus far. 

PATREON

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