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rideofthevalkyriess · 5 months ago

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home sweet home | chapter I

🌿 Pairing Small town au! - Doctor!Gojo Satoru x Teacher&Painter!OC/Reader; Doctor!Gojo Satoru x Dancer!Utahime Iori

🌿 Summary Satoru, or more formally known as Dr. Gojo was a great doctor from the big city. He lived a life that everyone thought was perfect: he worked at the city hospital, lived in a beautiful apartment in the center and was engaged to Utahime Iori. However, he had a big secret that he hid from everyone, which is that Satoru was actually already married to his childhood friend who he left behind in his hometown. And now, it's time for Gojo to face the past and the choices he made, especially his beloved wife.

🌿 Words 4.7k

🌿 Warnings [+18], smut, mature themes, angst, cigarettes and smoking, drugs, drinking/alcohol, adultery, commitment issues, marriage problems, divorce, death, illness and chronic disease, miscarriage, family drama, angst with a happy ending; (more to be added)

🌿 Author's Note Welcome to the first chapter of my new series!! I was inspired by one of my favorite comedies, Sweet Home Alabama. It's not the first time I've written, but it's the first time I've published, so please be patient. I also gave the reader a name as this makes writing easier for me. I hope you enjoy!

Satoru Gojo's life had fallen into chaos and it was entirely his fault.

But no one who knew him would claim that, as he was deceptive and good at keeping up appearances.

To the people who know him, Satoru, or more formally Dr. Gojo, is a great doctor in the city of Boston, his speciality being cardiology. He work in the city central hospital and live in a newly renovated old flat near Beacon Hill.

In his free time, he plays basketball and enjoys learning languages, most recently German. Satoru didn't have a large social circle, as most of his friends were in the world of medicine. And according to these same friends, Gojo was choleric, perfectionist and impatient, which made him a difficult person to approach; but deep down, he just took his job very seriously.

The news that the hospital nurses were gossiping about was this: Dr. Gojo was engaged to Utahime Iori and they were going to get married the next summer.

Such gossip was always accompanied by the story of how they met. It was a night when Gojo was on a night shift and Utahime was admitted to the emergency room with a knee injury caused by a fall while dancing. She was - and still is - a dancer by profession and well known for it. It turned out that it was Satoru who attended to her that night, and after a very promising diagnosis followed by release, the two exchanged contacts.

Their relationship developed ardently and quickly, like the rhythm of the great city of Boston. It had only been a year since they met and they already had a wedding date set, much to the delight of Utahime's wealthy family.

However, his relationship with Utahime and the gossip about him were of little concern to Satoru. In fact, there was one secret that kept his mind occupied during the day and robbed him of sleep at night, and that was this: He was already a married man.

And well married, to his childhood friend whom he had left behind in his old and insignificant - in his eyes - hometown.

But no one in Boston even dreamed or imagined that Dr. Gojo had such a deep and striking stain on his past as that of a failed marriage, so he secretly met with Hiromi Higuruma, a lawyer who specialised in divorces.

Specialised or not, the truth was that Higuruma was a shark when it came to his clients and was the best lawyer in his law firm - and the most expensive too. It was he who discreetly prepared Satoru's divorce papers and encouraged him to take the papers personally to his wife, much to his client's displeasure.

“You know, Dr Gojo, I think it would be a good idea if you handed over the divorce papers in person and had a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. I think you two must have a lot to discuss.” Higuruma advised as he gave him the papers.

“I can't think of anything we need to talk about.” Satoru contested, looking away towards the office windows. It was storming outside and the wind was howling.

“Believe me when I say that divorcing couples always have something to say to each other. How long has it been since you last spoke? Two years? Maybe three?”

“Two years and a half.” Gojo quickly corrected, making the lawyer frown.

“...Well, think about my advice, will you? And you'll see that things will work out.”

That evening, when Satoru returned to his flat, he discovered that although the divorce papers were light, the weight they represented in his life was overwhelming.

He put them down on the desk in his bedroom, and there they stayed for a few weeks, robbing him of his peace and sleep.

Until one night, he decided to put an end to his misery - and insomnia - and return to his hometown, Fairview.

In the early hours of the morning when Gojo made his decision, he was very agitated. He emptied half his wardrobe, even though he only intended to be out of the city for a week. He vacuumed the entire house, even though he had a maid who could do the job for him. And he washed the car, even though it was spotless.

At dawn, Satoru called his fiancée to tell her of his decision, while he prepared the food for the trip, which was going to be a long one. And upon hearing her fiancé's decision, Utahime was less than pleased.

“Why? Why all of a sudden?” She asked alarmed through the phone.

“I want to visit my family before we get married.” Gojo replied quickly, while preparing the sandwiches and a salad. “That way I can announce the engagement to them.” He concealed it.

«Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Uta.» Satoru thought to himself. «If you knew what was waiting for me in Fairview, you wouldn't say something like that.»

“Some things have to be said in person.” Gojo hid, as he finished preparing his food and carried his bags to the car. “Don't worry, I'll be back in a week.”

And although Satoru had made a promise to his fiancée, it would be broken for the most unimaginable reasons.

“I swear I'm going to get grey hair before I'm forty if you continue to get on my nerves like this.”

“But that's a good thing, we will match.” He joked, sitting down in the driver's seat of the car with a smile on his lips.

“That's not funny.” Muttered Utahime. “Drive slowly. And watch out for wild animals.”

“I will.” Satoru reassured her. “I'll let you know when I arrive. I love you, Uta”

She didn't reply, but she didn't have to. Gojo knew her feelings, which were now a mixture of love and anger. He knew that she found it difficult to reveal her emotions, which often led to misunderstandings. But deep down, she loved him and was very worried about him.

When the call ended, Satoru turned on the car and pulled his vehicle out of the carpark of his apartment.

The nervousness that had plagued him all night had ceased after talking to Utahime, whose voice always calmed him down, no matter what her mood. More calm, Gojo had the chance to enjoy the cool morning breeze and appreciate the beginning of spring.

The big city was as busy as ever.

Traffic and shops were in full swing early in the morning, and this was the pace of life that Satoru admired, liked and desired.

As Satoru left the city centre and headed for the suburbs, the city rush diminished. But it was still beautiful in his eyes, because it was an interesting mix of the urban and the countryside. Big and small houses, with perfectly tended gardens and families straight out of a soap commercial. Perhaps one day, when he grew old, he would experience that lifestyle.

When Satoru left the populated areas for the motorway, he saw little more than green forests just awakened from the harsh winter.

The rest of the journey remained like that, accompanied by the trees and the radio, playing classics from the eighties and nineties.

Gojo knew he was in town the moment he spotted a large wooden sign painted in white, announcing "Welcome to Fairview, land of sailors and crabs", much to his displeasure and annoyance.

It was dusk by the time Satoru reached the center of the small town that had once, long ago, been his home.

Near the beach, he saw the theater built on a pier, suspended over the sea. There he had unique memories of his teenage years, where life seemed easier and simpler. Satoru also appreciated the cathedral, illuminated by the fiery colours of the sunset, in the heart of the city.

And deep in his heart, Satoru knew that he missed his town, but at the same time, it was this very community that made his spirit and heart sick.

However, this was not the time for him to feel sentimental and nostalgic, as there were more important matters that called him to reason.

Satoru drove to his old home, which he had bought together with his wife in their first years of marriage.

The house itself was nothing luxurious. In fact, it was a very old cottage, located at the entrance to the forest that surrounded Fairview. On arriving at the house, Gojo decided to appreciate - or rather judge - the place that brought back so many memories.

Although the house was small, its grounds were so vast that they followed the forest. Close to the cottage, there was a small lake with a newly built pier, which gave the place its charm. A small greenhouse was built on the other side of the lake, with walls and roof made of glass, supported by white painted steel.

The cottage was still exactly as Satoru remembered. Small and tall, painted white and decorated with reddish bricks that matched the thatched roof. The windows and door remained the same, made of light wood and very traditional.

On the porch of the house, illuminated by fairy lights and decorated with a very nice garden table set, a dog was lying down resting peacefully when he heard Satoru's footsteps.

The dog, a German shepherd, quickly lifted his head and his eyes went wide, like lamps, when he saw Satoru approaching the porch. With his ears raised towards the strange man, the shepherd began to bark quietly, like a whisper, warning him not to go near the house.

Gojo, on seeing that large, unfamiliar dog, was startled to think that his wife no longer lived there. His wife wasn't the type to like such ferocious animals and this dog was very different from the beagle she used to own.

“You're not Maple.” Satoru muttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

As soon as Gojo had spoken, the dog got up and started barking loudly, warning its owner that there was an intruder on the property. He reflexively moved away and decided it wasn't wise to approach the beast.

Realising that he wouldn't be able to reach the front door, Satoru decided to try the back door, which was always unlocked. As he walked to the back garden, he noticed something that made him hopeful again. In the garage, which was always open, was his wife's old car, a 2000s platinum-coloured Mercedes that had belonged to her mother.

The interior of the house remained the same as he remembered it. The floor and doors were made of oak wood, which matched the coffee table and shelves occupied by books and trinkets. The sofa was large and cream-coloured, as were the old walls. The ceiling was adorned with vertical wooden beams the same colour as the floor. And in the center of the room was a very old fireplace made of white stone with a stove in its interior.

A picture frame with a photograph from their honeymoon was carefully placed on top of the fireplace. Satoru smiled slightly and carefully picked up the frame to take a good look at the photograph he hadn't seen for years.

The photo was taken in Greece, near the Aegean Sea, on a very hot summer's day. Gojo remembers that his wife felt very happy that day, in her translucent white beach dress and her hair blowing in the wind, as she searched for shells and whelks in the sand. And he also remembers his wife complaining about the sunburn she got, later in the evening.

“Satoru?” A female voice spoke, drawing him away from his memories.

Gojo put the photograph back where it belonged and turned to face his wife, with whom he hadn't spoken for over two years.

With his discerning eyes, he judged and admired her from top to bottom.

To Satoru's eyes, his Emma looked very different and at the same time very similar to the one of his memories. She was wearing a light blue painting apron, all stained with paint, as was her face, which had traces of oil paint. Her blonde hair was quite long, down to her waist, and tangled into a braid. Emma appeared to have lost a lot of weight and her face was more defined and tired, with dark circles under her eyes.

For Emma, if it hadn't been for Satoru's height and unique silver hair, she wouldn't have recognised him.

«Is he taller? No, he's stronger.» It was the first thing she noticed. The truth was, since his departure to Boston, Gojo looked herculean and healthy. The second thing Emma noticed was his beautiful, captivating eyes, and how much she missed having them around. Eyes embellished with delicate silver lashes that made him look divine.

But, in the back of Emma's conscience, there was a small voice telling her that her husband hadn't come back for the best reasons or because he desired her again.

«I know you want something from me, I just don't know what it is. Yet.» She reflected, as she watched Gojo smile widely.

“Hello honey, how have you been?” He greeted her teasingly, leaving Emma perplexed.

“What are you doing here? How did you get into my house?”

“Through the back door. You should be more careful, anyone can get in that way.” Satoru explained, slowly approaching his wife.

“You've got a lot of nerve telling me that when you've just broken into my house! Through the back door!” Emma said, raising her voice as she pointed in the direction of the laundry room.

“I know, that's why I'm warning you.” The man teased, boldly sitting down on the sofa.

Emma sighed at his audacity and put her hands to her head, trying to keep calm and avoid committing an offence.

“What are you really doing here, Satoru?”

Gojo, still sitting on the sofa, reached into his backpack and pulled out a set of papers, placing them on the coffee table.

“I want a divorce, Emma.” He revealed in a serious, firm tone of voice, which made Emma smile and relax.

“You wish.”

«Ah, so that's what your visit is all about.» Emma thought, relieved, as she left the room and went to the kitchen to wash her hands from the ink.

And Satoru, who didn't appreciate her response, stood up and followed her quickly.

“You don't have to make this any more complicated than it already is, honey. There are three copies, one for me, one for you and one for the lawyers.” He retorted. “I even made sure to tick it to make it easier.”

Emma looked at the papers in her husband's hands and didn't know whether to feel upset that he had insinuated that she was slow, or that he had shown up years later asking for a divorce.

She started laughing in disdain and disbelief.

“What?”

“You've got a lot of nerve for coming home, three years after you left, asking me for a divorce.”

“Are you complaining now?”

“Not really, I just expected something more extravagant coming from you.” Confronted Emma. “I'm not signing those papers. They're not in my interest.”

Out of frustration, Satoru started rubbing his hands over his face, trying to moderate the throbbing pain in his head.

“Come on Emma, why do you have to be so stubborn? Don't you want to leave this phase of your life in the past and start again?”

Emma, who had just washed her ink-stained hands, was furious at Gojo's words and accidentally broke a mug that was lying in the sink, causing the German shepherd to start barking anxiously outside.

“I don't remember you asking my opinion or worrying about me when you left. Or when you decided that Fairview was no longer your home. You made that decision all by yourself! My God, Bear, shut up!” Emma scolded nervously.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen.

“Sorry, he's nervous because he doesn't know you and we're arguing.” Said the woman with a tired tone and looking away from her husband.

“What happened to Maple?” Satoru asked, looking at the dog, who was also staring at him through the window.

“She died in her sleep. You weren't here…”

Gojo stared at his wife patiently and saw that her eyes were watery, as if she was about to cry. He could tell that Emma was still suffering. And even Satoru couldn't help but feel sad about the death of Maple, who had been a good and special dog and was present in many of their memories.

From the window, it was evident that the sun had hidden and the night reigned outside. Looking at his wristwatch, Satoru realised it was already late and grabbed his backpack, preparing to leave.

“I'll leave the papers with you, make sure you sign them.”

Emma went into the living room and leaned against one of the pieces of furniture, admiring him again.

“If you leave it here, I'll put it in the fireplace.” Warned Emma with a provocative little smile, which made Satoru sigh and put his backpack down on the sofa.

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” He grumbled. “All right, until you sign them, I'm not leaving.” Gojo said, shamelessly sitting down on the couch.

“Careful, that sounds tempting to me.” Emma teased, approaching him. “Go stay with your mother. I'm sure she doesn't know you're in town.”

Satoru remained in silent and that was all Emma needed to hear.

“Satoru, please.”

He just handed her a pen, which made her even more frustrated.

“Do as you wish.” She said with a long sigh and turned away from him.

But Emma wasn't someone who gave up easily or declared defeat after a lost battle.

Cunningly and discreetly, she picked up the landline that was resting on one of the tables in the living room and locked herself in the bedroom, making an unusual call. And there she waited, until she began to hear loud sirens and flashing lights.

“I hope you've got something striped in that bag, it'll come in handy.” Emma joked, leaving the bedroom to the living room, where Satoru had been sitting on the sofa until then.

“Why would I-” Satoru complained, but stopped the instant he heard the deafening sirens of the police car. “You called the police? You know very well that the chief hates me!”

“And with good reason.”

Few stories of rebelliousness could surpass those of Satoru during his teenage years. He was someone who collected achievements like a stamp collector. But despite the wide variety of stories, none surpassed the night he drank too much - as he never had in his life - and stole a car owned by Masamichi Yaga, the chief of the police of Fairview.

What happened that night remains a mystery, but Gojo recalls rallying the car up a hill away from the town. By the end of the night, the vehicle was completely wrecked. Yaga never found out who had committed the crime, but he had strong suspicions.

“Hey Emma, I heard your call on the radio.” Satoru would recognise Suguru's sweet, concerned voice anywhere. “What's happened?”

“The intruder is in the living room. You can take him with you.” Emma explained, making Suguru confused and wrinkling his forehead.

Geto walked heavily to the living room due to his uniform and the tiredness of a long day's work. But all the fatigue and exhaustion quickly disappeared when he ran into his old friend Satoru.

“Satoru?!”

“Hey, it's been a while.” Greeted Satoru excitedly, and moved to give his old childhood friend a strong hug.

After a long hug and a few pats on the back, they separated. Emma enjoyed the reunion of these two tall, strong men, and felt nostalgic about her youth. Until Suguru decided to ask the question of millions.

“You look well. Where have you been?” Suguru asked, making Emma and Satoru look at each other intensely.

“Boston.” Gojo said, looking at Emma. “From what I see, you're still a policeman.”

“Yeah. They pay me well to walk around the city.” Geto jokes, fixing his uniform. “My God, Em, you scared the shit out of me. You know how worried I get about you living alone in such an isolated place.”

“Suguru, be a little more professional. You're handling the suspect of a crime.”

“She doesn't live that isolated. On the way here I saw that they had built two new housing developments nearby.” Satoru replied, leaning against the back of the sofa.

“Still, she's a woman who lives alone in the middle of nowhere.” Suguru reminded him. “She's vulnerable here.”

“Vulnerable? Haven't you seen the wolf she has outside?”

“Excuse me! Firstly, Bear is not a wolf but a German shepherd. Secondly, I don't understand why I'm the subject of this conversation. And thirdly, Suguru, please, get him out of here!” Protested Emma, pointing her finger at Gojo.

“She's right Satoru, you can't force your way into a house.”

“But I didn't break in, I came in through the back door.” Satoru revealed with an insolent smile, causing Suguru to look in disbelief at Emma.

“Really? I already warned you to lock the doors, Em. You should be more careful.” Suguru reminded with a firm voice tone, making Emma feel ashamed. “As for you, this isn't your home anymore, you can't come and go as you please, Satoru. I will have to escort you out.”

“Use the handcuffs, please.” Emma says with a teasing manner. Gojo gave her a perplexed look.

“Suguru, if you can get her to sign these papers, I'll let you run me out of town.” Satoru suggested with a smile on his lips, staring at his wife.

Emma recognized that cheeky grin, full of insistence and the threat of turning lives into a living hell.

«No one so arrogant should have such a charming smile.» Emma thought, looking away from her husband.

“Papers? What papers?” Suguru asked, as Satoru grabbed the documents and handed them to the policeman.

“This is a private matter, Suguru.” She said, feeling uncomfortable as she watched Geto read the documents.

“A divorce application?” Questioned the policeman, looking bewilderedly at Satoru. He then turned to Emma, still surprised. “I thought you'd taken care of this.”

“Me too…”

“Clearly not.” Satoru objected.

“If you two are still married, it's his house too, Em. This is a domestic dispute.” Geto said slowly.

“...He didn't hit you, did he? If he did, I'll take him to the police station.” Suguru declared, leaving Satoru with a tense expression and a furrowed forehead.

The two men stared at her, tense and suspicious of each other.

“No Suguru, Satoru never hit me.” Emma confessed, to the relief of the two men. That was the truth, and although Gojo had many and countless flaws, being violent certainly wasn't one of them.

But the mood for nostalgia had cooled and an uncomfortable silence settled over the living room.

“Well, you two have a lot to catch up on. I'd better go.”

“Suguru, wait! Please don't do this to me! Take him away!” Emma asked anxiously.

“You make me crazy! Sign the damn papers!” Satoru asked Emma.

“There's nothing I can do. The law is the law.” Geto said, pointing at Gojo. “And he hasn't done anything wrong.”

Nimbly, Emma moved and stood between Suguru and the front door, blocking his passage.

“Please, Suguru!” Emma begged, rubbing her palms together. “If you won't take him to the police station, at least get him off my property. I can't get stressed out.”

Suguru looked at Emma closely and saw that she was desperate and distressed, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

He let out a long sigh and scratched his forehead with his thumb - as he used to do.

“Satoru, I think we should go out and have a drink, what do you say?”

“Wait, are you kicking me out? You can't do that.”

“No, I don't have the authority to do that. I'm giving you advice, because you're being an ass.” Suguru responded, with Emma glaring at the two men. “It's getting late, and I'm sure this discussion can wait until tomorrow.”

Gojo rolled his eyes and bowed his head, before grabbing his bag and heading out the back door without saying another word. Meanwhile, Emma and Suguru look at each other smiling once again.

“Thank you.”

“Just be careful. And lock the doors and windows of the house, please.” Suguru warned before going out through the front door to the porch where Bear was.

Geto petted the head of the German shepherd, that wagged its tail happily. Bear had known Suguru since he was a puppy and enjoyed the biscuits the man gave him.

Suguru opened the door and let him in, as it was already cold outside. Fairview might have a mild climate during the day, but it's nights were always freezing, with sharp winds.

Satoru was leaning against his car, enjoying the night. The full moon's moonlight, delicate and shiny, reflected like silver dust over the garden lake. A light fog rose near the forest and in the trees, he could hear owls hooting and flying.

Despite the cold, it was a lovely evening.

“Nice car.” Suguru said, lighting a cigarette.

“Thanks, it's a BMW X7.” Satoru answered, still frustrated. He turned round and saw the patrol car. “Yours isn't too bad either.”

Both remained silent.

“Have you got a place to stay yet?” Suguru asked, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I'm going to spend the night at the hotel near the beach.”

“Aren't you staying with your mother?” Geto asked, but Satoru didn't answer. “Does she know you're in town?”

“No. I didn't tell her…”

Suguru let out a long sigh and smoked again.

“You should visit them. Megumi talks about you all the time, he misses you.”

Gojo took a deep breath and looked down at his feet, crossing his arms tightly. Geto looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Look, a new bar has opened in town. What do you say we go there for a drink and catch up?” Just as he finished speaking, the radio in his uniform sounded, alerting him to a new occurrence. “Looks like we'll have to wait for another time.”

“Hard day?”

“Yes, a very busy one. You must have brought the chaos of the big city with you.” Joked Suguru, finishing his cigarette and dropping it on the floor. “Well, I should go. It was good to see you.”

“You too. Drive safe.” Satoru reminded, because Suguru was a driving maniac. Geto laughed and shook his head as he remembered something.

“Hey, there's a reunion of old friends this weekend. Just people from school and college. Do you want to come?”

“ I don't know if that would be a good idea.”

“It's nothing formal, just a casual get-together of old friends. We'll have dinner at six at Shells n'Roses and then go to a bar for a drink. It's Saturday, in case you change your mind.”

Satoru nodded slightly and the men said goodbye with a pat on the back.

However, even after Geto left, Gojo remained. In the company of the lake and the moon dancing on the water, he rethought his life and his choices. What his life was and what it could be.

From the window, Emma saw Satoru and, although the man seemed eternally beautiful, with the silver moonlight shining on his white hair, she noticed that he seemed melancholic and quiet compared to who he used to be.

Although compassionate, the woman still felt furious and betrayed by her husband's actions and decided to close the curtains and continue her nightly routine.

She had already experienced too many emotions for one night.

Author's Note - Thank you for reading my story and feel free to comment or talk to me! Soon I will post this story over on AO3. If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment on the series masterlist. Bye~

🏷️ @kalopsia-flaneur ; @tojideckmuncher ; @hauntedcrownpost ; @nervousnightthing ; @slowlyshycomputer ; @kazehayaaa ; @blushedcheri ; @eolivy

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geekywritings · 2 years ago

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“I didn’t expect you.”

You didn’t think I was done with Cal x reader fluff, did you?

Cal and reader have been traveling together for quite a while, but Cal struggles to sort his feelings. Until now.

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The only life Cal Kestis had known for the longest time was the one dictated by the Jedi Order. His entire path in life had appeared so certain back then. Training at the Temple, further learning as a Padawan, the trials and finally serving as a Jedi Knight in his own right before taking on his own apprentice.

Only half of that had come to fruition. Long before he even started thinking about the trials, everything he had ever known was burned to ashes. His past, his present and his future.

He had to forge a new one for himself. Something, the temple had never prepared him for…

Lost, in hiding and scared, the young survivor had to learn the hard way how many lessons he had been missing. How little the Jedi life was connected to that of normal individuals in the galaxy.

He had managed somehow, making the best of his dire situation and finding ways to stay alive and out of sight. Unfortunately, this wasn’t any way to live. Not for a Jedi. Not for someone like Cal, with his strong sense of justice and desperate need for a purpose in life.

Cere and Greeze had been lifesavers in more ways than one. They had saved him from certain death at the hands of Trilla, but also from a far more painful and slow decay of his spirit.

He was fighting again, to rebuild the order, to protect innocents and to destroy the Empire. And with each fight and every ally he won, Cal’s confidence grew. He had begun learning new lessons, taking him further and further away from the Order and every rule he had ever lived by.

And then you had appeared, while he was on an errand run for Greeze on a small, desolate moon in the Outer-Rim.

You had literally dropped from the sky, right into his arms, the Jedi catching you purely on instinct. What a vision you had been! Dressed in a light blue dress, your hair braided and adorned with little trinkets that matched your necklace, earrings and bracelets.

He hadn’t realized it at that moment, but you had been a bride on the run.

“Help me.”

The first words you had ever spoken to him, as the calls of your family members and destined groom boomed from the building above.

“Please.”

All Cal had been able to do was nod, placing your feet on the ground and grabbing your hand instead, as he navigated you through the crowd and back to the Mantis. No questions asked, he had simply offered the help you had asked for.

That had been three or four years ago, and all memory of the forced marriage had already paled in your memory. Instead, your mind was mostly filled with thoughts of him. Your saviour. Your friend. Your comrade on the battlefield. The man you had grown to care for.

What you didn’t know: Cal’s thoughts also hadn’t stopped gravitating around you since that day.

From your sudden first appearance until now, you kept surprising him at every turn. You turned out to be an excellent fighter, using a staff almost as confidently as he wielded his lightsaber. You also shared his interest in tinkering, constantly finding ways to improve or fix something around the Mantis. What was most surprising was your personality, however: So positive, so joyful, so full of energy.

The Jedi could be having the worst of days, but one smile or joke from you and he’d find his mood lifting. One touch from your hand and he was willing to face Vader himself. Cal was feeling things around you he had never experienced before… and he knew right away that this was the thing the Jedi Temple had forbidden. This kind of all-consuming attachment, undying loyalty and sheer attraction would have him drop everything for you in a heartbeat. And it didn’t even feel wrong.

Recently, it had started to weigh on his mind more and more, as he found it increasingly difficult to push his feelings down. He cared for you. Loved you. Desired you.

Theoretically, there was nothing that stopped him from just giving in… apart from that tiny voice in the back of his mind, resembling that of his Master far too much. It reminded him of the Code, the vow he had made to follow it, to always be a good student and never disappoint his teacher.

“Look what I found!”, your happy voice tore him right out of another round of debating with his conscience and he turned to look at your beaming smile as you held up some spare part he couldn’t identify at first glance.

“You said you wanted an upgrade for BD, so he could protect himself more.”, you clarified. “It’s a tiny electro shocker. I didn’t even know they came that small.” The excitement was radiating from you like the sun, and Cal found it impossible not to smile at least a little, as he took the part from you for a closer look.

“That’s great.”, he said, but the tone in his voice had your joy falter.

“What’s wrong?”, you asked.

“Nothing…. Just thinking.”, he replied, unable to lie to you.

“What about?” You could be incredibly pushy and persistent and Cal contemplated whether he could talk himself out of this one. In the end, he concluded that he could not.

“About the Jedi Order. The code and… how I can still honor it.”

While he spoke, you had hopped onto the table he was sitting at, staring at him with a serious expression. You had known little about Jedi before meeting Cal and even now, your understanding of them felt patchy. Mostly, because you found yourself disagreeing with a lot of the things Cal had told you about.

“You are honoring it by continuing to fight what the Order stood for.”, you eventually shared your honest thoughts with him. “Peace. Balance. Justice.” Those were the things you did respect about the fallen order.

“But times have changed. The rules have changed, if you want to compare it to a game.”, you eventually continued when Cal didn’t say anything. “You adapted to stay alive while staying true to yourself. That is commendable.”

How were you so good at this, he wondered. How were you so capable of taking his doubts and worries, picking them apart with just the right words?

Green eyes were staring at you as you argued about some of the Jedi rules being outdated and impossible to follow anyway.

“We are humans, you and I. We are meant to feel sad, happy, jealous, excited, joyous and all the other things.”, you concluded with a firm nod. “If we lock it all away, are we even really alive then?”

Coming from someone, who wore their heart on their sleeve, it was probably true. You were driven by emotion in almost all you did and so far, you had never regretted it.

Cal’s expression had changed during your talk, his shoulders relaxing and his lips twitching back into a smile. Ultimately, he even chuckled.

“I wasn’t joking!”, you said, lightly punching his shoulder.

“I’m not laughing at you.”, he assured you, catching your hand before you could land a second punch and holding it in his. “I’m just thinking how much you surprise me every day.”

Your confused blinking invited him to elaborate.

“I should see it coming by now, but I never do… I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect you.”

His thumb was now gently stroking over your skin, keeping a hold of your hand in his.

“I always thought I’d be walking the Jedi path. Even after the Order disappeared… I wanted to force that path back into existence… And then you showed up… and everything changed.”

He took a deep breath, eyes wandering from your joined hands to your face. Why had he hesitated for so long? Why had he kept his feelings bottled in? The old path was gone and no amount of fighting would bring it back. But he could walk a new one. With you.

“I think it’s time for me to take my life into my own hands… find my own destiny. Unrelated to the Order.” Still, he was dancing around it and although you knew what he was probably trying to get to, you didn't try and help him right away.

“I want to build a new life. With you.”, he finally said. “I wanted to for quite some time, but…”

You didn’t let him finish. Instead, you leaned down, capturing his lips with yours in a kiss you had been dying to give for months. Cal was so stunned, he couldn’t even return the gesture.

Slowly, you pulled away with a smile. “You are horrible at confessions, Cal.”, you told him. Your entire body was tingling pleasantly, your belly hot and your heart swelling with so much joy, it felt as if it would burst any second

“I love you too, you overthinking Jedi.”, you said, having no qualms about saying the words he had trouble finding.

Your own confession worked like a stim to Cal’s system and instantly he was up on his feet, standing before you and leaning in to kiss you. Whatever hesitation had been there before was gone all of a sudden, as his hands wove into your hair, keeping you locked to him as the kiss grew deeper.

You weren’t holding back either, giving in to every bit of passion you felt at that moment.

“If we get married, I hope you won’t jump out of the window like you did when we met, though.”, he spoke after you broke apart.

“Bad confession followed by a bad marriage proposal? We will have to work on that, Cal.”, you teased back and he chuckled before kissing you again. He would learn. He was ready for new things. As long as they were with you.

#cal kestis #cal kestis x yn #cal kestis x you #cal kestis x reader #jedi survivor

381 notes · View notes

witchthewriter · 1 year ago

Note

hi! I know you've been doing a lot of these recently but if you could do a birth chart for the marauders I would absolutely love that 💕 whenever you get the time ofc I know you're busy and you still put out a lot of content despite that so, props to you for that!!! 😊

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭! (𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈, 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝!)

I also have to give a lot of credit to @astrowitch.

𝑳𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝑬𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒔

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈

𝑬𝑵𝑭𝑱 | 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡

Also known as the Mentor, ENFJs are insightful, empathetic, encouraging, and kind. Some other characters with this personality are Margaery Tyrell, Donna Paulsen, Queenie Goldstein, Mufasa, Elle Woods and Moana.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝑵𝒆𝒖𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅

People with this alignment believe in doing the right thing no matter what 'side' they're on. They help others because they have the desire to do so, not because the law or anyone else, tells them to do it. They know laws can be unjust, so they do not blindly follow them. Most protagonists have this alignment.

𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔

One of the Major Arcana Tarot Cards, this card embodies growth, divinity, celebration and evolution. It represents abundance and material comfort, sensuality, security and emotional support. With An Aquarius Sun (open-minded, free-spirited, rebellious), Cancer Moon (intuitive, insightful, motherly) and Taurus Venus (this is the card's zodiac). Lily is feminine and doesn't rid herself of it to pursue her brilliance. She also doesn't put other girls down for being feminine or for not.

𝐒𝐔𝐍

𝑨𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔

Imaginative, idealistic, and intellectual. This is the wise, old grandparent of the zodiac. Why? Aquarius is an evolved sign endowed with wisdom, patience and self-control. Second-to-last in the zodiac. Aquarius holds its head high with confidence in its ideas and opinions like a grandparent who has lived a full life of experiences and learned the lessons that have provided wisdom, patience and clear judgment.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓

The Moon aspect exaggerates or overemphasizes the qualities of said zodiac. In this case, the Moon exaggerates the Cancer zodiac, which is ... a hundred times more emphasized because the Moon is Cancer's ruling planet. Someone with this placement has emotional maturity, someone who is good in family situations, and someone who attracts a lot of attention without being overbearing or overtly trying to get attention.

𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓

𝑽𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒐

Virgo is an Earth sign; the other two - Taurus & Capricorn, are on either end of the spectrum. Virgo is like the middle ground - they love getting into the details of things, of People with this placement are difficult people to get to know. They're intimidating without trying to be. and can seemingly see through your soul and uncover your intentions.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐘

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓

Mercury represents the way we think and its position in element and house shows how we reason, pointing towards thoughts that preoccupy our entire existence. People with Mercury in Cancer have a soft and emotional approach to logic and communication.

People with this placement are great at expressing their emotions and have a way of making people comfortable with deep conversations. They don’t like small talk, which can make them put up a wall. Instead, they open up and relax when they are in the presence of other people who can go “there.” As an intuitive, sign, someone with Mercury in Cancer seems to always know the right thing to say, even in a delicate situation.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝑻𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒖𝒔

It's particularly fitting that Lily has a Taurus Venus, as that is the zodiac card for The Empress (I didn't do it on purpose btw). Taurus is ruled by Venus, so when Venus is located within the constellation itself, the sensual stereotypes of both sign and planet expand exponentially. A Taurus Venus is incredibly touchy-feely and desirous of physical connection. They’re also very feet-to-the-earth partners, craving stability and reliability.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝑮𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊

The Mars aspect reveals the inner workings of our mind. It represents what makes us angry and how we express that anger. Our desires and how we go about getting them. The sign position of Mars reveals much about our basic animal nature. Mars in Gemini means a person is a highly intellectual and communicative placement. These people are great at debating, they love interaction and talking about all things.

𝑱𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝑷𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈

𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑷 | 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐸𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑢𝑟

Charming, brazen, roguish, adventurous, quick-witted, observant. This type is also known as the Daredevil. They're thrill-seekers, impulsive, energetic and very clever. Very influential and persuasive, they often become the leaders of the group - though they rarely like being so. Other ESTP characters include Jaime Lannister, Aquaman, Amy Pond, Han Solo, Robin Hood and Jennifer Check.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅

Like the characters Robin Hood, the 11th Doctor and Mary Poppins, James Potter is also a Chaotic Good. That can be a bit murky with his interactions with Snape - he was definitely a bully and that cannot be denied. But ultimately, when it's good against evil, James is a Chaotic Good. The upside of this alignment is that they will do absolutely everything in their power not only to help innocence, but bring about change if they can.

𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝑲𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑺𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔

This card represents a person who is assertive, hasty, confident, self-assured and a tad aggressive (also a bit of a bully). Once the knight sets forth towards his goals, there is absolutely no stopping him. He doesn't see - and he doesn't care - about any upcoming challenges.

𝐒𝐔𝐍

𝑳𝒆𝒐

Proud, bold and creative. Leos are truly natural-born leaders. They are charismatic, dramatic, energetic, passionate and full of life. Leos maintain a “king of the jungle” dynamic in almost every social group they are a part of. Fixed Fire which means they are dramatic, courageous, arrogant, and charismatic. Ruling planet: The Sun. Associated with Zeus.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝑳𝒆𝒐

A Leo Sun is very different to a Leo Moon. But having a double Leo in one's chart means ... you exude a very bold, brazen and dramatic persona. And that is exactly how James is. Don't be intimidated by that though, because Leo's can be one of the most loyal signs there is. Also, Moon in Leo people are not necessarily outgoing. This can balance James, and keep him from being too much.

𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓

𝑮𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊

Gemini Rising people love to ask questions, to move around freely, and to mingle. They have a big curiosity! Definitely restless and often quick in physical expression, natives of the Gemini Ascendant exude an air of impatience even if they don’t mean it. Quick-witted and possessing the gift of the gab, Gemini Rising is charming and talkative as well.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐘

𝑨𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔

Ruled by Mars, the planet of action, Mercury in Aries people speak quickly and sometimes without thinking first. People with this placement are passionate in their expressions. They are honest and direct which is great in some situations, but can be harsh in others. Mercury in Aries communicators make quick decisions–so quick that you might think they don’t much like thinking things over. The truth is, Aries communicators don’t have a lot of patience for mulling. Their decisions are often driven by the need for instant gratification.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝑳𝒆𝒐

When Venus Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. They love to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying lots of attention to them. They love to be adored, pampered and admired. They have a strong ego and want to feel like they are needed.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝑨𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔

Mars is at home in the sign of Aries, act first, then figure out the rest later. People with this energy are unafraid to take action and often tend to be quite courageous. However, that can also make them quite brash and impulsive — diving in first and thinking about it later.

𝑺𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈

𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑷 | 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑉𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑜𝑠𝑜

Many say Sirius is an ESTP like James, but I don't necessarily think so. There's more darkness, more mystery with Sirius - and James loves humour, he likes keeping things light-hearted and fun. Sirius is observant, analytical, and detached to most things; besides that which he loves.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅

When it comes down to it, Sirius is Chaotic Good to his very core. He doesn't want to hurt the innocent, but trauma has skewed his way of thinking at times. He detests authority and believes freedom is the only way a person can feel true happiness. Because of how he grew up, especially.

𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝑺𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝑹𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒅

I chose to use this card, particularly in reverse, because of the message of inner truth, and quiet power. The message is that you either are or you need, to find your inner power and truth. This is very real for Sirius, in the sense that he was trapped by his family both physically and mentally. Part of his story is that he broke out, he knew hat he believed and it didn't line up with his family. He didn't want to be involved in their filthy opinions.

𝐒𝐔𝐍

𝑺𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒊𝒐

When the Sun is found in the mysterious sign of Scorpio, the emphasis is on the subtle and profound. Motivated by a need for emotional closeness, Scorpios seek connection and truth. Those born with the Sun in Scorpio often have much to learn about the nature of intimacy and power.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏

However turbulent their emotions may be under the surface, Capricorn Moons keep cool-headed and come across as indifferent. Capricorn Moons are often quite hard on themselves and would benefit from letting their guard down once in a while. Moon signs also tell of the relationship with one's mother. And the relationship of a Capricorn Moon means it was/is very tough.

𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓

𝑺𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔

Sagittarius Rising favours independence and freedom. With Sagittarius Rising, they like to travel, see new places, and learn how the rest of the world lives. There is a like for money, but their real appreciation is for the independence it affords. One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humour.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐘

𝑮𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊

Having this placement elevates a person's quick wit and love of humour. Witty, curious and entertaining, they enjoy playing with language and toying with people. They bore easily and learn best from teachers and environments that possess a healthy dose of stimulation.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝑺𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔

Free-spirited, independent and courageous - one wouldn't think this sign is good in a pair. And even though a Venus Sag needs space not just to move about their day unhindered, but also to mentally and emotionally grow and expand infinitely. But when they find the right person, Venus Sag's need to feel like they can grow and expand their horizons through their relationship. For example, they want to learn new things and experience everything together.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝑺𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒊𝒐

This aspect gives someone a cunning and intense nature. Once they set their minds on something and desire it, they will stop at nothing to get it. They're very calculating and often eight steps ahead of everyone else. Mars in Scorpio love to challenge themselves to do the impossible (aka becoming an Animagus)...A Scorpio Mar's weapon is their stinger, poison, and secrecy.

𝑹𝒆𝒎𝒖𝒔 𝑳𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒏

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈

𝑰𝑵𝑭𝑱 | 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐴𝑑𝑣𝑜𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒

It is well-known that Remus is an INFJ - insightful, perceptive, empathetic, thoughtful, kind, analytical, idealistic and intuitive. Remus has always been the heart of the Marauders, the one who keeps everyone in line, helping the others with their homework, and in turn, they gave him an undying loyalty.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝑳𝒂𝒘𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 then 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅

They’re the protectors, but also seen as morally rigid and stubborn. Always do the right thing; what’s expected of them by society. Feel very uncomfortable breaking the rules. And then when Remus is befriended by Sirius and James, everything changes. He's much more comfortable breaking the rules - but there has to be a good cause for it!

𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝟓 𝒐𝒇 𝑷𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝑹𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒅

The Five of Pentacles reversed indicates an end to difficult times. When Remus meets James, Sirius and Peter, his problems are now their problems i.e., they're no longer alone anymore. With this card, a person may start to feel as if life is worth living again and they are regaining their self-confidence.

𝐒𝐔𝐍

𝑽𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒐

Virgos are naturally adaptable to the ever-changing nature of life — they're great at staying organized and on top of their schedules, even in the midst of chaos. Virgos, like the other Earth signs, are incredibly grounded and hardworking. This sign is arguably the most observant zodiac, and notices all the little details that everyone else misses. Methodical and practical, Virgos always have a plan and a course of action to make things happen. Therefore, Remus, as we all know, is the most grounded of the Marauders. The one who keeps the others from doing too much & going overboard.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝑨𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔

I chose to put the Aquarius placement as his Moon, because it amplifies the qualities in a person. The qualities of this placement is: extremely observant, sociable but a loner at heart, idealistic and progressive. Most notably, Aqua Moons often grow up feeling “different”...

𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓

𝑷𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒔

People with this aspect are sensitive individuals, with an ability to “pick up on” the unseen influences in their surroundings. They're the type to toss in a surprising, profound quip. Remus is the type of person that has an innate warmth. He makes people feel at ease, comfortable and with his empathetic ear, makes others feel as though they have a shoulder to cry on.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐘

𝑮𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊

Having the same Mercury as Sirius makes a lot of sense to me. Especially since they both have a connection. Platonic or romantic, doesn't matter - but they click. In the same way that Remus and Lily click because they both have Aquarius in their chart. Bookish, intellectual and ready to learn.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏

This placement means Remus is dependable. His relationship with Tonks shows that he will stand by his person no matter what. Venus in Capricorn men project an aura of competency and their loner-like behaviour. They are a little shy in matters of the heart, but they don’t want you to know it.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏

Strategic, hardworking, and are always after the long game, unafraid to put in the effort because of their innate desire for victory. When it comes to conflict, these people are cunning and practical, understanding that drama is a waste of energy unless they are coming out on top.

𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒘

(Yes I AM going to include Peter, because he was a part of the Marauders. When his corruption overcame him, we'll never know.)

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈

𝑰𝑺𝑭𝑱 | 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟

This could be argued (and I would have no problem if it was) but it's always difficult to place people who aren't good. ISFJs are quiet, proper, gentle, soft-spoken and detail-orientated. Traits can be linked to Peter, but it's difficult to attribute his corruption. Was it in his last year of Hogwarts?

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝑵𝒆𝒖𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍

Those with this alignment might follow rules if it serves them, but they do not feel bound to them. This alignment usually makes alliances with others to further their own agenda, but have no issue with double-crossing their allies. This is actually quite true when you think about it in terms of the Marauders when they were young. Peter chose that friend group to further his popularity and not be the target.

𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏

The Moon represents fears and illusions. Plagued by recurring nightmares, having constant anxiety and thinking your future is bleak - when it's all about perspective and courage. I chose this card because Peter chose to be meek. He chose to whimper in the corner and sacrifice others for his survival.

𝐒𝐔𝐍

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓

Cancer is the animal of the crab. I chose this aspect because of that element; where there's a hard shell surrounding the body to protect it. And I see Peter as someone who needs to be protected because he is so cowardly. He's sensitive and can be manipulated easily. However, he can also manipulate others easily as well.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

𝑳𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂

Now, as we know the Moon in a person's chart amplifies whatever sign is in this aspect. Moon in Libra people have a strong need for partnership. Without someone to share their lives with, they feel utterly incomplete. In terms of Peter, it means he can't stand on his own, he can't stand up for himself either. Libra's like to placate, they like to be the peacekeeper.

𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓

𝑷𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒔

A Pisces Rising is constantly changing their personality to adapt to those around them. They have a sense that no-one really knows who they are, and this is so true for Peter. And having Remus have the same Ascendant means they can bond over feeling as if they don't fit in.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐘

𝑳𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂

They intuitively know the right things to say to smooth things over and can be very diplomatic. Unfortunately, they may often find themselves in the middle of conflicts because they are the ones trying to keep the peace. Mercury in Libra people are often the friend that both people in a disagreement confide in.

This can be conceptualised as Peter being the confidant in the group, the one that the boys go to when they want to get something off their chest.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝑳𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂

Every individual saddled with the placement of Venus in Libra is an absolutely unhinged romantic. Libra Venus loves love and will impulsively overturn their entire life to indulge it if the vibes feel right for even a second. Unfortunately the vibes may not always actually be right when they feel right.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝑷𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒔

Mars in Pisces brings an individual an emotional and sensitive nature. Mars is complicated in Pisces: As a Jupiter-ruled water sign, Pisces is all about bringing things together while Mars seeks to separate. The result often leaves a person acting a bit flakey. Their strength is less about divisiveness and more about flexibility and raw emotional power.

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kingsbride-moved · 2 years ago

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But stand brave, life-liver, bleeding out your days in the river of time. Stand brave: time moves both ways,

in the nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating joy of life...

Elisabetta Mounteverde Dmitrou (also called Elisa) is my sona for Pentiment! More info below, though there's huge spoilers for the game </3 (art credits: photinus (TH), last two are by me)

As the game's story transpires over 25 years, Elisabetta's age changes alongside it. While she is introduced at 24, she is 49 by the end of the story. She's about 5'3, and was originally born within Ethiopia during the Solomonic dynasty. As her parents were both recent converts to the Catholic church, it was thought Elisa's blonde hair and green eye (singular) were a blessing from god. Soon after being born, she was taken to the Holy Roman Empire, and "adopted" by a Italian noble family. Seeing potential in her from a young age, Elisabetta's adoptive parents gave her all she needed for a proper education, and Elisa soon developed a deep love for art and poetry both...! She was also very aware that she was considered something of a "spectacle," something people would point at as proof of god's glory. She hated this, but felt powerless to do anything. As the years went on, she retreated into her world of literature and paintings, always wary of the intentions of others. When she was of age, her choices became either to marry or join a convent. Elisabetta choose marriage... but choose a man who ran a printing press and was a member of the guild. This was a way for her to have access to new books as they were being made, as well as connect with writers and artists from across all of the Holy Roman Empire. As she settled into being married, however, something unexpected occurred... when her husband decided to commission a portrait of himself and Elisabetta to celebrate their union, he asked Elisa's father for recommendations on a painter. He recommended the son of Josef Maler, a long-time family friend, who had recently become a master artist. And so, the Dmitrous would become the first official clients of Andreas Maler in his new role as master. Even though it was supposed to be a painting of both of them, Elisa's husband was away more often than not, which of course slowed Andreas down </3 but it wasn't such a terrible thing, however, as he found Mrs. Dmitrou to be much more interesting... and Elisabetta found herself warming up to him in a way that she didn't often do with people. It didn't take long for the feelings between them to become romantic in nature, but with both of them being in (complicated!) marriages, they couldn't do much about it. Despite this, even after the portrait was finally finished, they kept in contact thru the post for the next 7 years... one day, however... the letters from Andreas stop coming.

(It is believed that Andreas Maler died during the fire of the Kiersau abbey, trying to save what he could of the library's books. in a way this is true; he withdrew from the living entirely. Those who caught glimpses of him thought he was a ghost. But hiding away within the forest, or within the Roman ruins beneath Tassing, Andreas Maler was very much alive... and one day, some 19 years after the fire, and some years after her own husband passed, Elisabetta receives a letter.)

Umm sorry this is already long I just love writing about their soap opera ass story </3 anyways as for her personality, Elisabetta tends to come off as a bit cold. She's incredibly wary of other people, to the point where even so much as holding a conversation is difficult. Her being very suspicious and analytical is partly due to the natural curiosity she holds, though. She loves learning about the world, despite everything. She is also fairly headstrong, and tends to do things her own way despite how others may object. When she's older, she starts to be a bit more open. She craves warmth and kindness and wants to feel as if she's a part of a community. The people of Tassing are kind to her... (and they don't go ratting off about when Elisabetta sometimes spends the night at Andreas' home, despite the fact that such behavior is improper for an unwed couple)

Silly funfacts: ~ Despite having such a serious personality, she has a lot of love for fairytales. She wants to believe at least some aspects from them are truthful, even if it's silly. ~ She can sing fairly well, but is awfully shy about it. She's willing to sing during Christmas celebrations so long as she's not the only one doing it, though. ~ One of the first things she did upon arriving within Tassing was fix up the old guest house which was no longer in use after the abbey fire. ~ She loves cats, specifically white ones. It didn't take long for her to make friends with all the strays living within Tassing as well. ~ When Madga returns to Tassing from Prague alongside her friend Esther, they quickly make friends with Elisabetta, both curious about what such a fancy lady was suddenly doing there, and Madga was especially curious about the person who was now using her dad's old printing press. Elisabetta in turn treats Madga as something of a daughter. Elisabetta is also friends with Veronica, Brigita, Ursula, Anna, and Paul. She figured out that Veronica and Brigita were in a relationship in no time (but also quietly let them know she's had crushes on girls before, too, and that their secret would be safe with her). ~ Anna and Paul's children call her "Auntie Elisa" !

#[ and evermore amongst our mirth ]#[ s/i introduction ]#spousal death tw for this one her and andreas are a soap opera to me #or one of those books middle aged moms love with the handosme open shirt guy on horseback #oh religion tw as well!#.....i have more to do but i dont feel like it today ill do elda and auggie tomorrow #honey and eufrasia are still in development and probably wont get an intro post for a bit!

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torturedpoetsofpemberley · 13 days ago

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Despite Mansfield Park having the least thrilling romance from all of Austen's work, it serves another and arguably more signficant purpose in the Austen-universe by addressing difficult topics and closely analyzing people's selfish motivations. Given our recent discussions of Mansfield Park and my recent rewatch of Greta Gerwig's Barbie, I made this meme to open up my argument that is in defense of Fanny. I am typically an individual who will participate in the deep and somewhat brutal analysis of a character. But I recall one of my peers in class today saying, "In defense of Fanny," which is what inspired this post.

Other students today and over the past few days have been makign the argument that Fanny is timid, weak and won't stand up to anyone. It was also subtly suggested that she just falls into the narrative and settles for Edmund at the end. In contrast, everyone seems to love Mary Crawford for her wit and spirit, and despise Fanny for her lack of... anything? However, I argue differently. I don't LOVE Fanny but any means, but her backstory is the reason she is the heroine, and more so, deserves to be, in this novel. When she arrives, Fanny basically goes from one abusive and dysfunctional family to another and just has to learn new abuse tactics. She goes from having a violent alcoholic father to having a narcisstic aunt and Lady Bertram -- an emotionally absent woman who thinks everyone must serve her?? Every other character is simple so chaotic that they only fuel the dysfunctionality that Fanny has to live through. More so, Maria is the Golden Child, so Fanny is now just the scapegoat. This unstable home life and history of abuse is what makes Fanny's main character traits- her weakness and inability to make decisions for herself, even her overly affectionate feelings towards anyone who actually treats her somewhat well, are a result of years of concentrated abuse. Fanny simply needed love (and probably therapy), but without access to that, she copes in any other way she could think of. "Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions," --If Fanny is weak, if she's spineless, it's because she's learned to be so as a survival tactic.

Similar to other Austen works, Mansfield Park examines the role class privilege plays in the qualities of an Austen heroine. Because Fanny is very much underprivileged relative to other Austen heroines, she cannot be like them. If we look at the last heroine we read about, Elizabeth Bennet, she is considered accomplished, socially adept, clever, and spirited. However, we cannot ignore that Elizabeth had access to a certain amount of privilege that allowed her to be so. And Fanny does not have them. She has hardly any status, no wealth, an abusive family, and poor physical and mental health. Her peers look down on her -- despite her intelligence shining through when she says, "I was quiet, but I was not blind." -- without realizing their own privileged status, a concept relevant not just in today's society but within our UVA community.

Additionally, I would argue that Fanny isn't entirely weak and has more backbone than readers like us give her credit for. Let's not forget when she stands up to her uncle when Mr Crawford proposes to her. "I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman’s feelings." Because of her life growing up, Fanny's strategy is to choose her battles wisely, and when she does, she stands up, just as she did to her uncle while he hurls verbal abuse at her. In addition, Fanny remains firm despite the manipulative tactics of almost everyone in her life, until it is discovered that she was right about him, perfectly displaying that Fanny is assertive when she feels it is important for her to be. She is a woman who can find her strength, and in that moment, she does.

Before I conclude, I think it's significant to also humble Mary Crawford. Despite her wit and good manners, she is undoubdetly shallow, especially when we consider that her friendship with Fanny was just a way of getting to Edmund, which in turn she is doing only for money and status. "Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure." She joyfully encourages her brother to seduce married and unmarried women and even plots with Henry to basically groom Fanny into loving him. She cares only about herself and Henry, not about anyone whose lives are ruined by their schemes. She then goes on to hurt and belittle Edmund for his chosen profession simply because she finds it uninteresting, all while messing with his feelinfs and making inappropriate remarks.

Fanny may not be an Austen heroine in the way we normally think of an Austen heroine, but she is undoubtedly a heroine in the truest sense. Just as Fanny must cope with the pressures of an emotionally neglectful family and social class barriers, the Barbies in Gerwig’s world grapple with unrealistic expectations and a society that insists on confining them to narrowly defined roles. Both narratives expose the consequences of systemic pressures that shape a woman’s self-worth and choices. Fanny, like Barbie, lives in a world that often misinterprets her quietness and thoughtfulness as weakness. While Fanny’s journey is less colorful and outwardly assertive than Barbie’s, both characters resist societal pressures by finding subtle ways to assert their integrity. Finally, Fanny’s refusal to marry Mr. Crawford echoes Barbie’s own search for authenticity, highlighting how resilience, self-reflection, and a rejection of superficiality form the heart of both narratives.

#english literature #jane austen #feminism #literature #mansfield park #book review #heroine #barbie #fanny price

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timeagainreviews · 2 years ago

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The Secret Finality of “Survival”

An admirable quality of Doctor Who has always been its ability to adapt to change. From it’s genesis, it has overcome budget restraints and technical setbacks to the delight of many. Not even the need to replace their main actor could stop Doctor Who. It’s not easy then to try and dissect exactly why Doctor Who could not survive the 1980’s. There are key moments when the show alienated viewers in a major way, but sometimes shows wear out their welcome with general audiences. Even in the First Doctor era people were asking how much longer the show could continue. Had the show become a parade of changing faces? It’s ironic then that it was Patrick Troughton’s fresh face which reignited the mystery of the Doctor. Just when you thought you knew the Doctor, he became someone else entirely. Over the years, Doctor Who’s ability to renew itself proved to be its greatest asset. Sadly, however, the Sylvester McCoy era was to be the last regeneration for the original series of Doctor Who.

When production on season 26 began in 1988, rumours of cancellation were already in the air. Not only had public opinion shifted away from the show in dramatic fashion, but the budget had been gutted forcing more difficult and less controlled location shooting. Before the season had finished airing, the production crew knew there would be no season 27. Producer John Nathan-Turner was forced to scramble for some sort of final episode to cap off 26 years of a BBC family tradition. The season was originally supposed to end with “Ghost Light,” but it was decided that the three-part story “Survival,” would function better as a finale. At first glance, it’s easy to think “What? Why?” But I would argue that the reason is that it was always leading back to the Master, of course.

Doctor Who could probably have continued to battle monsters across space and time going from face to face for years. But even the Troughton era’s new visage could not overcome the rut writers had found themselves in with aimless base-in-peril stories. The Doctor needed a more personal threat. Daleks and Cybermen were of course classic baddies, but they were generally faceless and emotionless. Perhaps the villains should also have a face. Some of the more popular one-off antagonists were individuals who possessed strong wills and personalities. For example- the Toymaker, the Meddling Monk, Mavic Chen, or the ironically faceless Great Intelligence. It wasn’t until the Pertwee Era did the Doctor find his ultimate foe in the Master.

The introduction of the Time Lords sacrificed a bit of the mystery of the Doctor’s character. Suddenly, the cosmic vagabond had a home and a species. It’s only fair that in this sacrifice, we gained the Doctor’s perfect antagonist. The Master is everything the Doctor isn’t, while being exactly what the Doctor is. They both know the secrets of time travel. They both regenerate. They both have TARDISes. But the Master is that twisted reflection of the Doctor. The Twelfth Doctor once said “Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose.” But in the trolley problem that is life, the Master’s choices are self-serving and sadistic. The Master is the man who would have still bashed the caveman’s skull with a rock. This sort of sadism, masculinity, and war are at the forefront of first-time Doctor Who writer Rona Munro’s script.

Having recently explored Ace’s personal history in both “Ghost Light,” and “The Curse of Fenric,” it seems fitting that the Doctor and Ace should end up back in her hometown of Perivale. While the character arc of learning why she burned down the Gabriel Chase mansion as a child seems like a fitting end for her character, I would argue it’s just as interesting to see Ace return home. Rarely in classic Doctor Who were we shown the companions returning home, and usually it was always to say goodbye. Had we seen a season 27, this would have marked the first time a companion returned home only to continue travelling with the Doctor. This is just one of many ways in which Ace was the proto-modern companion. We often see modern Doctor Who companions returning home to check in with family and have a cuppa. These moments give us a glimpse into the way travelling with the Doctor has changed them. Ace’s reaction to Perivale is on par. But it’s not just Ace who has changed while she was away. Things in Perivale don’t exactly add up. Old friends have gone missing. And the local community centre is now populated by macho self-defence classes taught by a paranoid military man named Paterson.

I mentioned earlier that the budget put massive strains on the production crew. Despite this, they make excellent use of story craft. “Survival,” plays out more like an independent film than a serial from a classic BBC series. In some respects, this was Doctor Who back to its roots- a small ragtag crew putting emphasis on writing and creative problem-solving. There is an attempt at atmosphere. Perivale feels gritty and a bit run down, a detail Munro attributed to the town due to her own youth in a grittier Scotland under Margaret Thatcher. She would later reflect that when she actually saw Perivale, she found it charming. Mind you, the real Perivale never acted as a nexus for extraterrestrial kitty cats. And as a cat owner myself, those little fuckers do not respect personal property. They dig up the garden. They claw the sofa. They make nerds washing their cars disappear.

It would be easy to say that these first couple of episodes are sparse. Their synopses are among the shortest you’ll find on TARDIS Data Core. But that doesn’t mean they’re entirely empty either. The script to David Lynch’s Eraserhead was only 20 pages and it made an 88-minute film that my wife said felt like three hours. I would argue that building tone can be just as effective as narrative. Much of the first episode in particular feels like building a sense of desperation. There is desperation to leave Perivale. Desperation to find the missing youth of the town. Desperation to survive.

Perhaps the most desperate to survive is the Master. We’ve seen him on his last regeneration. We’ve seen him extra crispy. In the Eighth Doctor movie we see him so desperate to escape death that he’ll snake his way down Eric Roberts’ throat. And here we find the Tremas Master, wearing someone else’s face using the minds and bodies of the youth of Perivale to escape a sentient planet where he got himself trapped. For a newer writer and first timer to Doctor Who, I would argue that Munro absolutely nails the Master’s character. The Master will stoop to anything that will ensure his survival. It’s in his name. He must control others. He must control his destiny. He refuses to let death be his master. Even years later when John Simm’s Master chooses death, it is in his defiance of the Doctor. It is his refusal to let the Doctor control him. In the Master’s mind, other people exist only to serve his means.

Meanwhile, the equally astounding eternal god that is the Doctor is having trouble with catfood and the neighbourhood watch. I find no end of enjoyment in watching the Doctor shoo a dog away from cat food, so much so that I made it into a ten-minute loop. He’s escaped a Dalek holding cell, survived a murderous satellite, and avoided ritualistic execution. But at this moment, he just needs this dog to stop eating his cat food long enough to trap a Kitling. Having been spotted hiding away in some old nan’s garden, the neighbourhood watch is called in to see to the Doctor. This brings us back to Paterson, because of course it does. Paterson is exactly the kind of twit to be up in everyone’s business. I don’t blame the old nan though, you do what you gotta do to feel safe, boo.

It’s Ace’s scream that brings the Doctor and Paterson to the playground where Ace is being chased about by a “Cheetah People.” They really dug deep on that name there. Something I found myself enjoying was the way in which Ace used the metal playground structures to evade capture. It made me think about how Ace may have played in this very jungle gym as a child. Would she have made up stories in her head where she pretended to evade invisible enemies? In this way, Ace has a home-team advantage. This advantage is short-lived, however, after she is transported to the Cheetah Planet (another cracker of a name). The Doctor and Paterson also find themselves transported under its red sky as the Master stands by to greet them.

I joke about the name of the Cheetah Planet and the Cheetah People, but I do actually like some of the ambiguity. Sure, it maybe sounds like Charleton Heston is about to find half a Statue of Liberty, but I like that they’re a bit of a mystery. Even though the Doctor has heard of them, he doesn’t really know anything about them. We don’t know what to expect from our feline friends, but the introduction of the Master shows us that they’re probably victims as well. Once again the Master is using others for his own purposes.

Storywise, I would say episode two is probably the weakest of the three. Most of the episode is Ace avoiding Cheetah People and discovering her missing friends from Perivale, some of whom have been surviving on the Cheetah Planet for weeks. Something about the Cheetah Planet causes people to become feral. First changing their minds and slowly, over time, their bodies as well. This primal source holds the power to transform people into Cheetah People. Now, when Munro had originally written the script, she was thinking something a little more subtle. The Cheetah People were never meant to be in full masks, but rather closer to the facial prosthetics of Star Trek. You would have been able to see the actor’s performance underneath their new catlike features.

I mention this because the look of the Cheetah People is a sticking point for a lot of fans. Not even the cast or crew were happy with their look. Even Rona Munro complained that the masks were distracting from her lesbian subplot between Ace and Karra. Because if you can look beyond the mask, you’ll find a deeper story. While some furry Whovians out there may not have much trouble accepting a story about Cheetah People in bad fursuits, to others it was offputting. Because of that, I think Survival struggled and continues to struggle with being taken seriously. For me, it’s on par with “The Web Planet,” and the Menoptera, a similar story and creature that are often maligned by people who find them embarrassing. And like “The Web Planet,” you’ll find a story about anthropomorphic animals being controlled by a single sadist. They’re like Doctor Who’s Ewoks in that way. And like Ewoks, some people think they’re a mistake. Those people are wrong, by the way.

The Master does his best to look as though the Doctor has fallen into his trap, but what seems like a grand scheme is little more than a last-ditch effort to escape the Cheetah Planet. Due to the Kitlings’ ability to trap people there, the Master’s hope is to use this power to leave. He makes a great effort to look like the supreme overlord of this empire of dirt, but the Doctor sees right through him as always. He sees the Master’s gambit for what it is- the boasts of the most powerful man in prison. And the longer the Master finds himself on this forsaken planet, the less control he feels. Sure, the Master loves a bit of carnage, but it’s this loss of self that frightens him. Losing control of himself to the wild nature of the Cheetah Planet is another form of death, and as we know, the Master possesses a deep seated fear of losing control.

You’ll forgive me if my memory of the events that follow are a bit hazy. I’ve seen Survival several times and even now I struggle to recall key plot points. What’s important is that Ace has formed a bond with one of the Cheetah People, Karra (played by Doctor Who royalty Lisa Bowerman), and their running together has begun to turn Ace feral. It’s implied that running with the Cheetah People hastens the transition into ferality, but even with that consideration, Ace’s change feels abrupt. Some of Ace’s cohorts had been trapped for weeks without so much as a whisker. It’s a minor gripe from a serial plagued with minor gripes. I’m probably being fairer to Survival than I normally would because of the extenuating circumstances surrounding the production. An inexperienced writer, a show on the brink of cancellation, and a budget slashed to hell do this story no favours. In that way, it feels like a mean thing to judge it too harshly. And as we’ve seen from her return with “The Eaters of Light,” Munro can actually write.

Another thing this story does that acts as a sort of pre-cursor to modern Doctor Who (or in the continuity of the show- its very next episode) is the way the Master will take on companions of his own. Much like Chang Lee, Ace’s pal Midge is lied to and manipulated by the Master. The Master uses his feral nature to transport him back to Perivale which is exactly what he wanted. We can hand wave away how the Master knew Ace and the Doctor would ever return to Perivale long enough to notice all of Ace’s mates have gone missing. Like I said, minor gripes. Now in Perivale with kitty cat Midge, the Master literally pilots Midge around looking to recruit more young men into his harem… er… army.

Having escaped a catastrophe with the Cheetah People (with no thanks to the cowardly Paterson) the Doctor and Ace are now back in Perivale ready to square off against the Master and his group of misanthropes who may as well be carrying tiki torches if it wasn’t for the fact that it was broad daylight. The big showdown, however, appears in the form of the Doctor and Midge running motor bikes at one another in a game of chicken. By that description, the scene sounds less clever than it actually is, but when you follow the theme of the story, it says a lot. Initially, it is Ace who volunteers to run down Midge, but the Doctor knows if she were to engage, it would turn her completely feral. Knowing that his own mind is at stake, the Doctor still takes her place, refusing to let her fight his battles for him. The Master, on the other hand, is far more comfortable sending Midge in his stead. At this moment, we are given a visual representation of the fundamental difference between the Doctor and the Master’s ideologies. It is this scene that makes me believe Survival is actually the best choice they could have made for a final Doctor Who story.

Unable to accept defeat and leave well enough alone, the Master pulls the Doctor back to the Cheetah Planet for one final bestial showdown. But even in his increasingly feral state, the Doctor’s compasion overrides the instinct to bash the Master’s brain in with a skull. I referenced the First Doctor’s feeble attempt at bashing a caveman’s skull with a rock, and that wasn’t without reason. In an accidental manner, the show has brought the Doctor around full circle by echoing his first story. Originally it was Ian who had stayed his hand, and now, through years of travelling with human companions, it is the Doctor who stays his own hand. The Doctor refuses to live and die as an animal, and because of this, he is able to walk off into the sunset for future adventures.

Over the years, we learned that the Doctor is a Time Lord from Gallifrey. But even still, the Doctor defies explanation. But through meeting the Master, we learn what the Doctor very easily could have become. We may not know who the Doctor is, but through the Master, we have learned who the Doctor isn’t. In this last story with the Doctor, we don’t learn his name. Very little more information is gained about the Doctor. Instead, it is reiterated what the Doctor believes. Life is sacred. People aren’t pawns. Take responsibility for your problems. We also learn why the Master always loses- he only thinks about himself. Ultimately, it’s community and caring for others that ensures our survival.

#doctor who #Seventh Doctor #Sylvester McCoy #Survival #Rona Munro #Cheetah People #Cheetah Planet #Ace McShane #Sophie Aldred #Ace #Perivale #The Master #Tremas #Anthony Ainley #Season 26 #TARDIS #BBC #Time and Time Again #timeagainreviews

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rookrecurring · 1 year ago

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I don’t know where you’re at with this question or how often you’ve been asked it, but how are you doing these days? What have you been up to? I did a triple take when you started posting again and it’s good to see your art again! I hope you’ve been well.

—longtime RMR fan

Hi! This is such a kind message, I appreciate you checking in. I feel like I've been offline for so long that I'm always surprised to hear anyone remembers me or Red Moon Rising at all, haha. I've received a few emails here and there from former readers over the years which I've replied to, but I think it's probably time to say something more public in case anyone else has similar questions.

I tried and completely failed to keep this concise - sorry for rambling all over your relatively simple ask, but the long and short of it is: I'm doing pretty ok! Life is confusing and difficult! More under the cut!

In all honesty, I burned out very badly while working on Red Moon Rising. The tipping point unfortunately coincided with the Kickstarter for the print version (way back in 2017), but in retrospect it was a long time coming.

Shocking no-one, webcomics basically pay nothing and I was treating it as a job on top of the commission and freelance work I was paying the bills with, and in the end it just kind of crushed me. I became very overwhelmed with the work required to get the comic ready for print in the time that followed, so I never quite gave myself space to recover from the burnout because I felt such an obligation to fulfill the Kickstarter - people had paid good money for this and I wanted them to receive the books they had been promised.

The good news these days is that the Kickstarter is more or less all the way there. My publisher has been an absolute saint this entire time, checking in with me about the work without ever being demanding or pushy, and a few months ago a box arrived at my flat with all three volumes (consisting of the first 300-ish pages) of Red Moon Rising in print.

It's hard to be ecstatic after such a tiring journey to put it all together, but I'm proud of what we made. I can't overstate what a great job I think my publisher has done and how kind they've been to me - they received a lot of flak from people about the massive delays and never once threw me under the bus or pressured me to work harder or faster.

Regarding RMR's future: the website is currently down, but it shouldn't be for long. I've had some help from a friend recently (a recurring trend that I'm very grateful for) and the site should be back online soon more or less as it was. Pages, commentary, comments, everything.

However, the comic will remain on semi-permanent hiatus - never say never, but for the moment I've moved on.

I'm sure this isn't a surprise considering the last page was posted six years ago, but I hope it's not too disappointing for anyone. I always thought I would come back to it sooner or later, but I still feel like I need some space.

On an even more personal note, it's been a crazy few years. I think everyone has had a difficult time recently what with the… well, everything. I've been through a lot of health problems, some very difficult housing and financial situations, and I also came out as gay and asexual to my friends and family, and now to anyone who happens to be reading this.

Fortunately I have no horror stories regarding this last point, everyone around me has been beyond supportive and kind. I think the main takeaway I have from this period of my life is how amazing my friends are. I could probably fill this post to the character limit talking about the lovely people in my life and the numerous kind things they've done for me. I'm in a very good place right now thanks to them.

So in a post-Kickstarter, post-RMR world I'm at a bit of crossroads these days. I feel like my burnout has finally more or less faded and I've quietly been up to all sorts of small things.

I spent a lot of this year learning Japanese to an intermediate level (mostly through watching hundreds of episodes of Super Sentai shows in pure Japanese), something that didn't occur to me I would ever be capable of until I started doing it

I've been composing more orchestral music and sending it to like two people

I did a game jam!

I picked up Python programming recently and am trying to create a program to act as a music composition aid

I speedran learning Blender last year for a job application and made exactly one (1) piece using it that went so well I'll probably never draw a building by hand ever again

I've been playing a lot of DnD and other tabletop RPGs and made quite a bit of art related to those that I never posted anywhere

My biggest freelance project of the year was doing all the art for a friend's board game project that I'm cautiously excited about - it should be seeing the light of day some time next year

Basically I'm approaching some sort of critical mass of "uhhh maybe someone on the internet might like to see what I'm up to if I actually posted it" and now I'm confronting the scary emotions of once again being visible online. Yet another friend has offered to help me set up some kind of art stream in the near future and I think I might actually work up the nerve to do it.

Compared to 2017 the internet now is obviously a very different place and it's quite intimidating to step back into it if I'm being honest. It feels like there's much more pressure on Cultivating A Brand™ and I can already tell I'm going to be completely terrible at it because that pressure to be a consistent Content Creator™™™ totally smashed my brain in before and I'm not interested in going there again.

On the other hand, I appreciate that someone who is interested in seeing my handful of bird drawings one month might not also be interested in seeing my Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger fanart the next. I don't really know what to do about that except post these things anyway, because otherwise they're just piling up on my hard drive.

So that's it, really! My life is a lot more stable these days and I'm tentatively planning on posting more stuff here and possibly other places too. Thanks again for the ask, and sorry for the impromptu novel!

#words words words #red moon rising

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multiplicity-positivity · 1 year ago

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Hey weirdish question, do you think it would be weird to ask my father/siblings about my childhood? I want to remember more about my life growing up, I know it sucked and I have some memories about how it sucked, but I've also lost more memories, not just from dissociation but from a history of concussions and so I hard remember even my teen years as a minor even though I'm only 20 and I just want to know more? I feel really bad about never remembering things, like I forget birthdays, important events, vacations with my father (probably the happiest points of my life since I was away from my mother) and it just feels so bad. I also have second question, how do I figure out if I'm disordered or not? I have aphantasia so I can't inner communicate but a lot of my alters are very similar to "me" "me" being the fronting consciousness seems to always be here even if I specifically am not, and we do seem to generally retain some memories between us but we're still constantly losing memories and time within a week of forming said memories but I don't know that you could call that amnesia?

-Newt

Hi! We’ll try to answer these questions to the best of our ability!

Would it be weird to ask your father/siblings about your childhood?

We don’t know you or your family, and this will seriously depend on the dynamics you have with your family members and how each of them view y’all’s collective history! Is there any chance they might have harmed you in your childhood, or might become defensive if you ask about your history? Are you in a place now where you are safe and/or independent?

As a system who also has lots of amnesia surrounding our childhood, we honestly haven’t been able to recover many memories through conversations with our family. If someone tells us something that happened to us in childhood, it feels to us like a story or something that happened to someone else. We haven’t been able to recover many memories this way. We’re not a doctor and we’re not sure how amnesia really works entirely, but asking other people to recount your childhood may not be the best way to try and recall memories you’ve lost.

However, if your father has pictures, a photo book, or some other sort of album containing images from your positive experiences in childhood, it may be worth it to ask about this. Many parents do keep some sort of photo evidence of their children’s lives and upbringings. Looking at images or videos of your youth might help to jog your memory!

When it comes to keeping track of events in your life, you could try keeping a calendar in which you write down important dates like birthdays and future important events. We keep track of these things in our phone’s calendar, which can actually alert us when the event is approaching, so it’s super helpful! Without some sort of calendar/alert system, it would be incredibly difficult for us to keep up with everything in our lives! 😅

And with regards to your second question: How to tell whether or not you are disordered, that’s really tricky and the answer will vary vastly from system to system (and even headmate to headmate)!

We wrote a post outlining our own system’s experience with disordered plurality. We’re just going to link it in hopes that it may help answer this question! We do believe that it’s up to the individual, not any outside party, to determine whether or not an experience they live with is disordered or not.

We also wrote a post specifically about dissociative amnesia, with our experience and some additional resources! Maybe it can help y’all figure out whether or not you’re experiencing amnesia to some extent.

We hope this helps! Good luck with everything, Newt - we hope that if you do talk to your family it goes really smoothly!

🌷 Corrie and 🐢 Kip

#long post #disordered system #amnesia

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elliepassmore · 6 months ago

Text

The Last Bloodcarver review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: Vietnamese mythology, science fantasy, magical medicine

The author describes this book as 'science fantasy,' which I think is an apt descriptor. Nhika's powers are within the realm of fantasy, but the way she thinks about her powers is more science, as are the automatons that help run the city. There are also doctors and medical advancements, like surgery, IVs, and organ transplants. I really liked this aspect of the book and thought the combination of magic + medicine was super cool. It was interesting to see how different characters viewed medicine and heartsoothing, particularly the differences between Nhika and Kochin, and how they reconciled those views. I also really liked seeing the duality of healing. It's not really something you see a lot with healer characters, but if you have power over a person's body systems, healing, and immunity, then you can just as easily use those systems for damage as well as for good, and I liked seeing Le use that in this story.

The worldbuilding is neat and gives us hints of a more complex system going on in the world. We spend the entire book in Theumas, which is divided into sectors based on the zodiac. I'm definitely intrigued by the way the city is setup, though I'm not sure we'll get an in-depth explanation for that since politics aren't really at the forefront of the novel. We do get a look at the class system of Theumas and how the boroughs correspond to that system. I liked seeing how things differed and how certain behaviors trickled down from the wealthier boroughs to the poorer ones.

While politics isn't at the forefront of this book, immigrants and culture are. Nhika is Yarongese, born in Theumas. Her parents and grandmother were born in Yarong but had to flee to Theumas due to war and colonialization, and then died when Nhika was young. So while Nhika learned her culture from her family, she also feels a disconnect due to living in Theumas and having to hide her heartsoothing. Nhika greatly yearns to belong and wants desperately to feel that connection to her culture, so those two things drive her actions through a lot of the book.

I liked Nhika as a character. She's been living on her own since she was 12 and, in order to survive and make money, has turned to homeopathy remedies to heal people and stay under the radar as a heartsoother. Try as she might to be tough, she has a soft inside and cares deeply about other people, even if she's just met them. This allows her to bond with the Congmi siblings, and later Kochin, despite slights and differences. Nhika is willing to stand up for herself and follow through on things, even when it's dangerous or difficult, and that perseverance both helps and hurts her at different points.

Kochin was a character I liked, then didn't, then did again. He has a very specific goal in mind throughout the novel, but he's somewhat clumsy in how he goes about it. In the end he pulls through and I liked that he was able to be there for Nhika and share some things with her closer to the end of the book. I do feel bad for him since he definitely got in way over his head and is doing the best he can to try and mitigate the damage to everyone else.

Despite Nhika staying with the Congmis for most of the book, I feel like I don't totally know them as characters, so I hope to see them more in book 2. Mimi is definitely a lovable character who is friendly and wants to believe the best of others. She's heartbroken by the recent loss of her father, and she seems to enjoy having Nhika around as a friend. That being said, she's somewhat naive about how the world works and just how much her family's money and social standing advantage her. Andao seems to be more aware of it, but he's got the weight of his father's legacy on his shoulders and rivals and friends coming at him from all directions to try and influence his moves.

Trin is a friend of the family and at first is kind of mean to Nhika, but he's a bit like Chubs from The Darkest Minds. What he really wants is for the Congmis to be safe and well cared for, and he's not afraid of giving someone the smackdown if they seem like they might threaten that, but is much friendlier once you're past that initial stage. I ended up liking Trin's character a lot and think he and Nhika have the beginnings of a good friendship.

The mystery was very interesting, and the seeds of it are laid from the beginning. It's somewhat predictable but it's still a very enjoyable story because there are twists to the mystery that aren't apparent at first. The last 1/3 was definitely tense since everything is coming together, and I really liked seeing how it all played out.

My one complaint about this book is that there's some instalove going on in it. It's very minor so I can kind of ignore it, but it seems like it might be a bigger thing in book 2 (maybe? Maybe it's just the consequences of that, we'll see.).

Overall I loved this book and can't wait to see what book 2 has in store! The combination of magic and medicine was super interesting, and I liked seeing how both were dealt with. I also thought the characters were well rounded and liked reading their interactions.

#book #book review #books #book recommendations #fantasy #booklr #bookstagram #bookblr #bookaholic #bookish #the last bloodcarver #Vietnamese mythology #asian authors #science fantasy #fantasy novel #ya fantasy books #ya fantasy

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years ago

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The recent chapter where Max says that it shouldn't have been his family in the hospital but him got me thinking.

Hypothetical for you, I know it goes against Mallory's character to hurt Max. But just imagine she chooses to use the ECT on Max to make him be disgusted/afraid of David instead of targeting David.

How do you see that playing out?

I see Max making himself progressively worse because he would keep running headfirst into the wall of his trauma until he destroyed himself. And David leaving because he can't let Max keep doing this to himself.

But then again, this Max wouldn't hold himself back from chasing David down. Soo...

Oh, this is very good!

While Mallory hurting Max is out of character, what you suggested (Mallory trying to make Max be disgusted of David) was actually part of the plot in lbaf 4 🥲

Now allow me to put my psych degree to use hehe.

There are different kinds of exposure therapy.

Let's look at David's choice:

He follows a type of therapy called graded exposure: the client constructs an exposure fear hierarchy, in which feared objects, activities, or situations are ranked according to difficulty. (looking at max, listening to his voice, being in the same room, touching, kissing, etc) They begin with mildly or moderately difficult exposures, then progress to harder ones.

David has also combined this with general Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) where he talks about his thoughts, fears, and feelings with his therapist.

What he does with Jaden is a type of interoceptive exposure therapy: Deliberately bringing on physical sensations that are harmless, yet feared. Jaden isn't the stimulus that makes David scared/repulsed, but he does have a similar effect (hence why David avoids him in the very beginning). So, David uses Jaden as a method to expose himself to Max while learning to manage his anxiety and repulsion.

NOW. MAX.

First of all, I don't think this shit would go to therapy. (yes david does have experience in dealing with this so he knows better) but i think max, as you correctly said, would just keep running after david (which would only make his repulsion worse).

What Max would do is actually called flooding. Flooding therapy is an intensive type of exposure therapy in which you must face your fear at a maximum level of intensity for an extended amount of time. For example, if you are claustrophobic, you will be locked in a room until you calm the fuck down or if you are scared of snakes, you will be asked to hold the snake until you are not scared. It doesn't always work and can be extremely traumatic if you don't do it with proper assistance.

Max would do exactly this (repeatedly expose himself to David) not as a form of therapy, but simply because he can't stay away and it would keep hurting him.

Maybe in this alternate universe, I can see David going back to France. David leaves Max for his own good. But as you said, Max would follow after him. Max would be mad at himself for many reasons (for mallory, for not being able to get over his repulsion, for hurting his family) and it would just get worse. we also know max suffered a depressive episode in the past so all of this would be entirely unhealthy and would not end well.

THIS WHAT IF WAS INSANE THANK YOU FOR ASKING IT HEHE.

#IALS #yall really can't get enough of the angst huh

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lady-phasma · 2 years ago

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So, I’ve been seeing the different takes on Aemond’s softness and I haven’t been able to sit down and get this out correctly until now. I do like your idea that he should be more than one dimensional but I do have to disagree about him being incapable of being soft or wanting soft things and in this essay… 😂 but really –

Despite my attraction to Ewan Mitchell and in turn, Aemond, I feel like I am Aemond. I understand him a bit or maybe I’m making the pieces fit but I’m not playing the pity card or looking for brownie points, just that I think I get him. I was born to a mother who never wanted children and didn’t want to be married to my father, it was shortlived. I grew up with a half brother who has my last name but none of the blood and there is strife in our family because I hated it, when I was a child I told my mom that I didn’t want my last name on his tombstone and begged her to change it or make him change it before he could die with my name, but it was also her married name and despite being divorced, she wanted to maintain the “family unit.” I am vindictive to what my mom calls is the point of ruthlessness, even for my own family members. I don’t take disrespect lightly, I don’t forgive easily and I hold grudges incredibly well. I can be mean and selfish, especially if I feel like you’re undeserving. When I am threatened, I change and that person will do whatever it takes to survive the threat. I have grown up in an environment that has told me I must always be on guard, always expect people to want to hurt or take from me to benefit themselves, and not to trust anyone but myself. I have wanted comfort, softness, unconditional love, understanding and a place but the world told me those things only exists in fairytales. I have an exterior that is already difficult to break through but once you’ve made me angry or done something I don’t like, that exterior becomes impossible to break. My softness and fragility exists but not everyone is deserving of it, not even to see it or know it exists sometimes but the few who have managed to get past my armor, walls and defenses – it is given to them freely. I will do anything I can for those who have proven my environment and upbringing to be wrong, I try to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves but it’s because I’m healing. I used to resent those who were weaker than me and asked for help, I resented those I thought stronger than me who asked for more than what they got because I didn’t get what I needed so why should anyone else. I didn’t think I was allowed to be soft and didn’t think anyone else was allowed either because why should they if I didn’t? But as I’ve gotten older and continue to learn new perspectives, I’m evolving – it’s human nature and that’s what I see in Aemond. I see the inner child who is still angry, sad and hurt who desperately wants the affection he was denied by those who should’ve been the warmest and safest haven for him. I understand the lack of social and emotional development that drives his hatred and I genuinely believe he wants to be softer whilst also being afraid of trusting anyone with his needs because he thinks they’ll judge him or tell folks so instead he becomes fearsome, acting like he’s above it all so he doesn’t get hurt again. Whilst I know he’s a fictional character, I also know that if he were real, his emotions would be complex and he would carry so much damaging trauma that would take time to heal but could still be healed. I just recently experienced joy and laughter I haven’t known in years and I didn’t know it was still possible. My entire life still happened, my cruelty still exists, my bitterness, rage and hurt can still inform my decisions and relationships, I have trauma that can’t be explained and there are people who think I am the one taking things too far or being too sensitive but I still crave soft things, soft love and a soft life. Life has taught me it’s not entirely possible but it’s not impossible. That is why I think Aemond could be a teddy bear for the right people, why I think he would make allowances for those he loves in private that would go against his public reputation and it’s why I think he deserves it. I don’t think he’s innocent and never will be, like I am not and will not be, but I don’t think he’s heartless either. Hurt people hurt people but almost every hurt can be healed.

Thank you so very much for sharing this, anon. 💜 I won't be able to address every point you brought up but I think my answer to the larger picture here may surprise you.

Also I have to add the PSA that therapy is wonderful and I see my therapist once or twice a month and have for years. Please continue to work on yourself if you have started because Aemond wasn't fortunate enough to have psychologists in Westeros (that's not a joke).

If the ask wasn't enough, here's a trigger warning: non-specific discussion of trauma and ptsd.

I have PTSD and see a lot of myself in Aemond, can empathize with him in many ways. I choose to indulge that part of the character that I relate to in my Helaemond fics. I can understand that what I want him to be isn't what he is as Ewan portrays him in the series. My Helaemond fics are a way for me to explore those aspects even if they aren't my actual headcanon. That is the space I use to write soft Aemond. I even go so far as to reframe his experience at the brothel so that Helaena is the only person Aemond has ever had sex with.

I understand how it feels to connect deeply with a character when they seem to represent me. However, in this example, I remember that I haven't had Aemond's experiences and he hasn't had mine. I do my absolute best to not project my life onto him. The main reason I bring up how I see that Aemond's softness is exaggerated by some fics and art is because I think it can be healthy to use fiction as an emotional exercise but not everyone is as self-aware as others and might not know that by crafting a canon character into what they need emotionally they are skewing the fandom toward something far from the mark. As an example, I am very self-aware that I might write a version of Aemond as self-soothing but I compartmentalize that in my Helaemond fics. Using fanfics or characters for self-soothing is normal. However, if that is what the creator is doing, self-soothing by sculpting Aemond into what they need him to be or by presenting a projection of themselves, how does it serve the fandom overall? Why not make an OC or label it as fanon?

I'm not going to get on my soap box about that because I want to address a couple more things about your ask. I find that people on Tumblr make a lot of assumptions based on one or two posts. If you haven't read Philosopher Prince (my Aemond x ofc fic) maybe you would enjoy it. He is a human, he has depth and feelings. I'm not being argumentative, I just don't honestly know where I have ever said (your words) "but I do have to disagree about him being incapable of being soft or wanting soft things." I have made a post about a canon statement that he doesn't give a shit about tourneys and answered an ask about his sexuality where I stated he wasn't soft. I think a large problem in this "debate" is that soft means something different to everyone. You have listed quite a few things that you find to be soft and that you want but some survivors of trauma are repulsed by that softness, by those same concepts or actions. I don't believe anyone has ever asked me, nor have a publicly written about, what softness Aemond is averse to in my headcanon.

So here's the other of the 'couple' things I want to wrap up with. For me, with my particular ptsd, soft means something completely different (I mean in my real life, nothing to do with Aemond) so if I were to project my idea of this softness onto him, of how I cope with my ptsd, no one would want to read my Aemond fics because they would be so far off the mark, they would seem ooc. (We have 'out of character' as an abbreviation so we can help readers understand we are changing aspects of the canon character.) However, I think many creators don't factor in the parts of Aemond's ptsd that make him into a badass. This isn't accusatory, as I've said some people write to self-sooth and that's okay. Perhaps some of the writers softening him don't have first hand experience with trauma or their trauma is different from Aemond's. But it is important to understand ptsd does not always make someone a wounded creature to be scooped up and nursed back to health with kindness and softness. Sometimes it makes them Vhagar.

#thank you so much #i love my anons #asked and answered #aemond headcanon #aemond #aemond targaryen #hotd #house of the dragon

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gear-project · 2 years ago

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Annon-Guy: What are your thoughts on Ky Kiske and May in terms of story, personality and as playable characters?

Just so you know, these kinds of questions are difficult to answer since you're asking me for my opinion instead of simply established facts.

For May, I know, as a character she was placed in the story for a great many reasons, not the least of which is the idea that she's a walking Queen reference alongside Sol (Brian May in other words).

In terms of her design and how she has been presented… she's a far cry different from most other female characters in fighting games that you'd usually encounter. It's not that often you see a "deliberately cute" character put in a game involving swords, blood, and violence (among other things GG was known for, early on).

It's a sharp contrast from the dark aspects GG is known for… but it is also FOR that reason that May makes for a good "foil" to the dark story being presented. Whereas Sol's past is tragic, May's past is also just as tragic, but she doesn't let that get her down and continues to move forward.

Even considering all the things that happen in May's life leading up to events in Xrd, and even meeting with and befriending Ramlethal Valentine afterwards… May has matured in to an incredible force for good, and it shows.

I'll be the first to admit that, as a character, May isn't the first pick on my list in the roster, and I am by no means a May main like someone else might be… BUT, as time went by… I "did" learn how to play May as a character… and I actually learned a few tricks in how she plays, both in old games, and more recently in Strive.

She's got tricks, she's powerful, and it takes a bit of skill to learn her, but the rewards for doing so make playing her a fun and bright experience. Even just the idea that she is a Pirate by nature, smacks of adventures and mystery and intrigue, among the many things May has gone and done over the years.

Do I think she's the best character Ishiwatari created? Not entirely. Do I think she's a good character nonetheless? Certainly. I wouldn't have the roster without her.

Moving on to Ky… it's a bit more tricky to nail down the things that Ky can do as a character.

Ky is every bit Sol Badguy's foil… so being the rival he is, he has to match the main character point for point.

When I first encountered Ky… I remember how "angry" he was in front of Sol… that was literally my first impression of him.

Sol gave a disinterested shrug and cracked his neck, and Ky "SLAMMED" his sword on the ground in rage.

You could TELL right then and there, that Ky wanted to settle his differences with this mysterous man named Sol Badguy.

I didn't know their history when I first saw this intro… but, even then, I still wanted to LEARN MORE.

Ky has always been an intense character… though the running gag is that he's mellowed out as he got older and became a father.

A father AND a King.

How many fighting game protagonists can boast those things?

I think only Ken Masters of Street Fighter fame could probably boast having similar experiences that Ky has had in his story.

Still… Ky has been through a lot, both sadness in war, and happiness in family, and he FOUGHT for his future.

He earned it, too.

And even when more people tried to pick a fight with Ky, he still stood back up and fought back.

Maybe Sol isn't Ky's "biggest threat" as MUCH as he was in the older games, but… there's always going to be some element that doesn't mesh well between the two of them as friends and as "ersatz family members".

People laugh about the idea that Sol and Ky share a connection on a family level but… even Ky will tell you, Sol is still Sol when all is said and done… there's nothing to laugh about around a man who takes things seriously.

But that's why Ky can still be himself around Sol. He doesn't have to be "softer" or "harder" than he's ever been before… because Sol knows Ky won't take his bravado.

Even if years go by and they're both old men and have tons of grandkids between them… those two will still pick a fight on any odd day there's a blue moon.

That's what rivals do. And that's a fully functioning rivalry if ever there was one.

Ky's not JUST a rival, however… he has lots of depth and history to his name.

He's a Knight, he's polite… he has connections, he's been instructed by wise old men smarter then he'll EVER be!

Ky's past is a bit hot-blooded, sure… but he's grown in leaps and bounds, enough that even Sol can accept and respect him for the man he is (despite reservations).

Now, about Ky as a character?

For me, Ky was the most fun when he could charge up his Stun Edge to Level 3 and unleash a huge lighting projectile on the screen that lasted for DAYS.

Ky's acrobatics (Crescent Slash), his agility (Needle Spike), his ability to cross people up and circle around them (Impala Hunt, Zerofied Chain, Grand Vapor Thrust, Foudre Arc), all that stuff is FUN to use.

You don't need to be a strong player to KNOW that Ky is a strong character.

That's just the basics of understanding how an all-rounder character works.

Applying everything that Ky can do to your arsenal of playstyle however… therein lies the rub.

I spent several YEARS learning how to do Dust Air combos with Ky… and to this very day, I still haven't perfected the technique.

Ky is all about mastery and technique… spacing, poking, cancels, movement, jumping, airdashes, anti-airs…

If you want to play a character who will teach you every last DROP of info that GG's mechanics have to offer… Ky is a good start.

Even if the average newbie will pick Sol Badguy as a knee-jerk response… picking Ky is a deliberate CHOICE because you KNOW you have to know a few things to use Ky as a technical character.

What Ky WON'T teach you is the things other characters get away with!

In other words… being an all-rounder means Ky doesn't have the same "easy advantages" other characters do.

Ky still has SOME things he can do very easily… but he has to mitigate those things in order to play well.

Most Ky players won't tell you that though… they keep it to themselves as a trade secret.

As a Ky player myself though… most of what I've learned was self-taught… and I'm rather proud of the wins I have achieved over the years. Even against STRONG players, I have won some hard fought matches with Ky, and that's saying volumes.

Any average GG veteran will most likely have a "Ky" in their pocket for a rainy day, so I'm sure I'm not the strongest Ky player out there by any means.

But I will say that what players DO with Ky, be it Xrd, be it Strive, be it AC+R, or even the older games… players who play Ky are interested in learning the game of Guilty Gear…

Being able to play a fun technical character like Ky is proof that you don't mind a challenge or two.

And that's all I'll say for now.

#GP talks Shop #GG Roster

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