#I also headcanoned for a while that Anger likes to smoke

[totheblood]

jealous!ellie headcanons

a/n: these are modern headcanons sooooo... and this isn't jealous gf ellie, this is pining loser lesbian ellie... lol also super inspired by the talented @rxllingstones and @whore-era after reading their amazing fics tonight... pls go read them.. and for u fiends... there is ai audios at the bottom... more uploaded on sc bc tumblr hates me

ellie is incredibly hard to read

or at least that's what she tells herself

it's almost written all over her face how much she hates the people you date when she's in a five-foot radius of them

she tells herself she doesn't care (she's lying) but she can't ignore how her grip tightens when she sees you lip-locking some loser you met at a party

but she always finds herself at your side, pulling you away from them and back into the corner with her

"hey there, pretty girl. having fun?"

"i was until you cock-blocked me."

"there wasn't much to block... i heard his dick's small."

but the curse of having feelings for you was that you were always dating someone

it always comes up when the group goes out to dinner and the topic of who you're dating comes up

like it does every week...

"i actually really like him for you" dina shares, a genuine smile on her face

"yeah, dude's cool" jesse agrees, slinging his arm around dina in the booth

and then all the attention is on ellie as you stare at her with your wide eyes waiting for her approval

"what? you know you're not going to like what i have to say." she says taking a sip of her dr. pepper

yes ellie drinks dr. pepper

"cause you hate everyone i date!" you reply, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout

it was clear you were slightly tipsy but your face still made ellie smile

"yeah, cause you only date fucking losers." she would say smile on her face but anger blooming inside

ellie tries to be mature but she can't help herself

what makes it worse is that you really do date literally everyone except for her

so she doesn't really make an effort to be nice to the people you introduce her to

one time the same guy came around twice and all ellie could say was "oh it's this fucking guy again! hey man, glad to see you made it to a second date."

you scolded her after

but in her defense, you really are with someone new each week

until it's been three weeks and you're still dating the same girl

and ellie is a fucking mess

you started inviting her out to group hang outs and smoke sessions so ellie just stops showing up

she doesn't like the way it feels when her stomach flips upside down at the sight of you sitting on her lap, a beer in your hands

so she decides to opt-out, get high alone and avoid seeing you as much as possible

but it's short lived because your drunk ass is banging on her door

"ellie, let me in!" you yell over the tv playing from inside her dorm room. "i hear you watching shark tank!"

reluctantly, she gets up and opens the door for you

"can i help you?"

"yeah you can fucking help me. you can help me by telling me why you've been MIA for the last few parties. i miss you." you don't miss a beat and are already storming past her and sitting on her unmade bed

"you miss me? does arcadia know about that? you missing me?"

"is this seriously about you not liking another partner of mine? seriously ellie? grow up. you're supposed to be my friend and support me but you have done any of that?" it was obvious you had been hanging onto that for a while

she'd laugh but upon seeing your stone cold face her anger would rise

"oh, you're fucking serious. are you really that blind? you really think i want to be your fucking friend? i mean, my god i couldn't have made it clearer for you. i like you! like actually like you, like i want it to be my lap that you sit in. not hers. every person you have ever dated i have wished was me! but nooo, you just don't seem to notice."

she doesn't even realize it but she's shaking

she's actually just confessed her three year crush on you without even thinking about it

"ellie..." you begin, a worried look all over your face

"no, i don't really have it in me to get rejected by you tonight so please just go." she cuts you off, unable to meet your eyes

but then you're there next to her holding her shaking hand

"i'm not rejecting you, ellie." you whisper

"you're not? what about your little girlfriend."

"this might be absolutely toxic of me to say but... she's not you." you giggle

"you're absolutely right it's fucking toxic to say that…. but it's also EXTREMELY fucking hot."

ai audios:

extra ai audios:

there wasn't much to block..

oh, it's this fucking guy again!

oh you miss me?

you're not? what about your little girlfriend

you're right it's toxic to say that...

[enavstars]

May you bliss us with your angst ninja headcanons?

mainly kai pls

Sorry for the delay. You asked mostly for Kai's so I delivered. If anyone wants more hcs about the others I can work on it some time in the future (I also have more of Kai).

Now the hcs:

• All the ninja have PTSD from everything they’ve been through

• And abandonment issues

• Cole has an eating disorder and eats when he’s stressed, this is one of the reasons he is very insecure of his weight. People online poke at him for it

• Jay's terrified of losing his loved ones again because of him. That is another reason why he went absolutely crazy post Seabound, as he thinks it was his fault Nya had to resort to sacrificing herself

• He used to be bullied for living in a junkyard before becoming a ninja and that's why he was ashamed of it

• Zane always shoves down everything wrong that happens to him (e.g being the Ice Emperor for way too long to be ok about it) because he puts the team and their needs first.

• Nya has nightmares from the time she died in skybound but doesn't tell anyone.

• She had to keep her work and love life secret from her brother for fear that he would shut her down to protect her. Her fear persisted well into s1 and that's why she felt she had to hide Samurai X even from Kai

• Lloyd still admires his uncle despite his obsession with the green ninja (and all the neglect that came with it) because he's the only relative that actually took him in

• All of the ninja have at some point hidden an injury at least once. But Kai and Nya are the ones that do it more often (Nya specially when she was samurai X), and know how to treat mild wounds because of it.

• Kai and Nya do physical activities when they’re stressed or have emotions they don’t want to process. They can do their thing like Kai working in the forge and Nya doing mechanics but they usually train, however they can go on for hours (Kai has passed out a few times)

• Kai and Zane have a very poor sense of self. Zane’s comes from him not valuing his life and thinking he’s expendable since he can be rebuilt, ignoring all the trauma that comes from getting severely hurt or “dying”. Kai has problems seeing his worth as a human being because he’s never lived for himself; everything he does is for someone else and so he thinks his value resides in what he can do for other people. 

• Kai is terrified of the idea of being alone, it’s his worst fear.

• He has THE WORST coping mechanisms and Zane is confused on how his body was able to go through all of them (Alcoholism, illegal fights, smoking…)

• Kai is an insomniac, he barely sleeps most nights and instead just waits until he passes out (He has very deep eyebags because of it but hides them with make up, covering his freckles too). He sometimes bumps into some other ninja at night since they all have fucked up sleep schedules. 

• Lloyd also has a lot of problems sleeping because of nightmares and goes to Kai or Nya’s room where he feels safer (mostly into Kai’s). Sometimes they stay up at night chilling or they try to sleep. In those cases the nights with Lloyd are the ones where Kai sleeps the most because he feels safer too.

• Kai has chronic depression because of his fucked up childhood

• Lloyd thought he had depression too for a while but it turned out to be autistic burnout because of the stress of being the green ninja. But he can’t properly rest or heal from the burnout so he’s exhausted most of the time.

• When he’s stressed Kai forgets to eat and can go days with very little food because he’s used to it from being poor in his childhood.

• Genuinely forgot what it feels like to be a kid and have no responsibilities so it’s his personal mission to not let that happen to Lloyd. Kai would be devastated if Lloyd ended up like him.

• Kai sometimes feels insecure about his face scars and contemplates hiding them with make up.

• Kai’s touch starved but terrified of letting people in.

• He hides his negative emotions as anger and when the others try to reach out to him he pushes them away by getting angry at them until it's mutual and they leave him alone.

• Never told the others about what he did after Zane’s “death”. He fixed himself up, alone.

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

Hi!!!! :3 Can i request a Hualian x reader who has an arranged marriage?? The reader is forced by their family to marry a person who they do not know, and the reader felt bad to disagree with this decision, so they agreed, but then Hua Cheng and Xie Lian find out that their lover is being married off to someone else so they decided to crash the wedding day, and took reader away from the altar. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian couldn't help but feel jealous that someone almost took them away, so they spent the whole night making love and the reader repeating to their lovers that they're the only ones and reader wouldn't leave them for anybody else.

I hope it makes sense, english is not my first language, and it's like 3am so I'm not thinking 😭😭😭😭

:3 anon

Crashed Wedding !

HuaLian x gn!reader

I did a two in one🙏 these two fit together and they're both taking anger out on reader so please accept this ☺️

I hope it wasn't too long of a wait 😔 also it makes plenty of sense! I don't know if you want a story or Headcanons so I made both? Kinda? Yeah.

Idk if you wanted male or gn sorry 🙏

Ignore grammar mistakes

Slight OOC

Made up scenarios

Short

Gn reader but the reader is referred to as a bride? So like feminization? But reader still has amab parts!

____________________________________

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng already knew you had a complicated love life going on.

You have a secret relationship with them and you unfortunately have a real fiance who you do not like at all.

At first Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were fine with this

Aka Xie Lian was very understanding and Hua Cheng pouted a lot.

But then it started getting iffy

Not because of you but because of your family and your fiance

Like what do you mean your family is forcing you to marry someone you don't like?

What do you mean they wouldn't be okay with you dating them instead 🤨

What do you mean your fiance is actually rude as hell🤨

San Lang has no problem with fixing that problem by putting your fiance in the dirt but Xie Lian talks him out of it.

It goes on like this for a while.

You dating Xie Lian and Hua Cheng in secret

You have a fiance in public. Your fiance wasn't really pushing for a marriage either so it was supposed to be fine!

But then your parents really, really wanted you to have the wedding. Soon. Like now.

You cried a lot at this, you didn't want to leave Xie Lian and Hua Cheng

But you didn't want to break up with them either so you avoided them.

It's been weeks since you've talked to them.

now you stand at the alter in red.

You wish it was Xie Lian and San Lang standing in front of you but of course it's not.

Once Hua Cheng gets word of what's going on he immediately tells Xie Lian.

There's no WAY they are going to just let you slip from their fingers

They'll simply have to scare your fiance and family away☺️

So Xie Lian goes with San Lang's plan this time

Which is to crash the wedding of course!

🦊🪷

You had been standing at the alter, in your red robes. You would've been happy if you were getting married to someone you actually loved. But you aren't, it's a shame you look so beautiful. You miss Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. They're the only people you've been thinking about the whole time. Even while standing here with your future husband. How shameful.

Your fiance is moving the red lace veil out of your face, preparing to kiss you and seal your marriage but you both are interrupted. Honestly you thought you were imagining your lovers voices because you had been thinking about them the whole time but, no. That's the real Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. A black smoke wipes through the room and suddenly you're in Hua Cheng's arms.

You look like a fish with how you stumble to find words. "S-San Lang what are you two doing here" you look around the room and at your fiance but you don't get the chance before the three of you disappear in the black smoke and arrive at Paradise Manor instead.

"Collecting our lover of course" Xie Lian quips and kisses your head. He carefully takes the veil off your face and removes the jewelry from you. It's taken off gently, the robes not so much. Hua Cheng shoves you into the bedroom and literally rips the robes off of you. "He didn't deserve to see you like that. You looked gorgeous as a bride, but you aren't his bride" Hua Cheng growls out and kisses you.

You're so happy that your lovers have come for you that you're tearing up. You kiss Hua Cheng back just as passionately, and cling around him. Xie Lian settles behind you and kisses the nape of your neck.

"We'll take care of you Baobei so be in a relationship with us instead, we'll take care of everything else, yes?" Xie Lian murmurs and his hands grip at your hips.

"Yes A-Lian and A-Lang will take care of everything" you sigh and happily lean against Xie Lian's chest. Hua Cheng's lips start kissing and biting at your neck roughly, Xie Lian's lips peck over your shoulders. You arch and squeal when Hua Cheng's pointy teeth catch on your nipple.

"Who's bride are you, Baobei?" Hua Cheng growls out and his hand squeezes around your aching cock. You whimper and roll your hips up into his hand. "Yours, yours and A-Lian's only"

You gasp a moan when Hua Cheng starts to stroke you cock and when Xie Lian's oiled - when did he do that? - fingers prod at your prostate, loosening you up for much bigger things in the near future. You blush and pant against your lovers.

Eventually Xie Lian slides into your hole and uncharacteristically starts fucking into you. Hard. "Nobody else's Baobei?" He bites at your ear. You squeal again and Hua Cheng smiles at Xie Lian's bullying. "Nobody else I s-swear, only yours ah~!" You stumble over your words and Hua Cheng moves closer.

His mischievous eyes find Xie Lian's, "do you think both of us could fit, gege?" His hand presses flat against your tummy, making Xie Lian's cock press deeper into you. "Oh~!"

Xie Lian hums and kisses your cheek while keeping a steady pace. The two of them act like you aren't even there. "Stretch him more with your fingers then try San Lang"

San Lang nods and then prods two oiled fingers into your hole. They don't want to hurt you of course! Hua Cheng smiles when your hole easily accommodates his fingers and Xie Lian's dick together. "Are you sure it's only us Baobei? Look at how stretched out you are", Hua Cheng teases.

You babble and whimper at the stretch. It hurts but it feels so good. "No one, no one! Only you, only A- Lian and S-San Lang I promise" you let out a long whine when San Lang engulfs you into a kiss and shoves. The rest of his fingers in. After all if you can't fit his fingers you can't fit his cock. You tear up at the stretch and gulp for air from San Lang's lips.

Once San Lang and Xie Lian work together on stretching you out, He takes his fingers out. He replaced them quickly with his cock though and slowly bullies his way into you and next to Xie Lian's cock. When San Lang manages to get into the hilt all three of you moan. You have two cocks in you, while Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are inside your warm hole and rubbing up against each other. It feels good for all parties.

Your tears slide down your cheeks and you whimper. Xie Lian kisses your cheek and both of your lovers whisper affirmation and sweet nothing's into your ears. You're sandwiched between the two of them. After some time of just sitting and getting used to the stretch Hua Cheng starts fucking into you.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng gang up on you. They fuck you in a way that never leaves you empty. It's non stop from them and it quickly wrings cum out of you. You squeal and babble while cum splatters over yours and Hua Cheng's chests.

Hua Cheng bites at your lip and lifts your legs so him and Xie Lian can get a better angle. "Whose bride are you again Baobei? Do you remember?" You moan loudly and your nails scratched at Hua Cheng's back. You gurgle on your own drool and blink away tears. "Your b-bride, Xie's bride!" You heave for air, forced to cry and cum over and over again in their cocks. Eventually Xie Lian and Hua Cheng peak over the edge too and both of their cum warms up in your belly.

If you were comprehensive right now, you would've noticed the small bump in your tummy. Your lovers pull out and hot cum drips from your hole. Xie Lian pecks kisses over your face whispering how good of a job you did.

They'll never let you leave them for another.☺️

[whoreseason]

RANDOM JAMES MARCH HEADCANONS

CW for murder, drug use mentions, and discussions of trauma/implied child abuse

I think he excels at doing cocaine. I don’t know how to explain what I mean though

He's done quite a lot of it in his life but no longer does, not only because his ass is dead and he can't get high but because such crass indulgences remind him of his younger days

He’d wear women’s perfume if it were more socially acceptable but his ideas around masculinity refuse to let him do this

His hair is naturally a bit curly and he has spent years gelling it into submission

Is 5'8 and rather small build-wise

Despite his size, he can really, really hold his own in a fight, though he fights very dirty. Hand to hand fighting triggers something in him and he does it with pure rage. His opponent will be on the ground before they know it and he'll probably have killed them before he realizes what he's doing

Is a bit resentful of his babyface, as well as his height, and wishes he were both taller and more mature looking

Growing out a mustache was influenced by this

Also deeply resentful of the phrase “prettyboy”, which he’s heard a fair amount

Either puts lifts in his shoes or wears slightly heeled ones. Do NOT bring this up

Has been smoking since he was 12 or so

His eye twitches just slightly when he’s annoyed. It’s often his only outward tell

His only two modes of expressing irritation/anger are “irritated but not showing it” or “literally screaming”

I feel like we as a fandom don’t talk about his canonical temper enough. This individual has probably thrown a fork into a maid’s eye because she got the placement of a napkin wrong

His original accent is lower class Boston, and while this may not be a headcanon, I feel the need to bring this up. His actual voice may sound more like Kit's than anything

Speaks a bit of French and Latin, largely in an attempt to fit in with the old money upper class

Started drinking pretty hard very young, maybe when he was around 12 or 13? And was basically an alcoholic throughout his teenage years

Barely went to school growing up and was more or less able to charm his way into university

Is embarrassed of his Irish heritage. He's a product of his time

Killed his first victim in a rage episode in an alley behind a bar somewhere when he was 16

His first victims were impulsive kills along these lines, but his motives switched from triggered anger to relying on it as he went on, and by the time he was in university he'd get tightly wound and restless if he'd gone a week without it

Took various traits from his first victims-- ways of lighting a cigarette, vocal quirks, body language tics, that sort of thing. As the number racked up and his designed personality become more fleshed out he stopped doing this, but he carries his first kills with him through certain mannerisms, though it's now subconscious

Also took various traits from movie stars and book characters. Spent a lot of time at the cinema as a young man finding things on screen to make a part of himself

Is so very, very fake. Has constructed basically every aspect of his presentation and outward personality

He hates being reminded of who he was before, who he truly was-- he’ll reference parts of his childhood in the context of who he is now and what he's had to overcome, but it’s more like he’s using pieces of his past to construct a story about himself. Anything vulnerable or authentic to that part of his life he won’t bring up, he doesn’t even let it cross his mind

Has worked very, very carefully to suppress his flinching instinct at sudden noise or movement, but sometimes it still comes out when he’s snuck up on

Used to wake up screaming sometimes when he was alive

Would just as often wake up crying, which he quite hated. He never remembered what those dreams were about

He’s glad that he doesn’t sleep anymore and can thus avoid all that. Which is what he loves to do with his memories or any sign of emotional vulnerability, avoid it. Good luck trying to get him to open up about anything

Love you grandpa

[punkeropercyjackson]

Jason Todd characterization guide

Created for fans who're too scared to read comics but love Jason!Also gentle reminder that you can just watch Batman:Under The Red Hood and be set!!

As Robin,Jason was a peppy altruistic softboy who was extremely kind to everyone and a nerd in both senses of the word but also had a huge bite that loosing his parents and living on the streets as a child gave him and had a lot of snark and cheekiness to him.He also pushed a man off a building for raping a woman so as he does now,he's always respected women and has zero tolerance for men's bullshit

He's a lifelong literature nerd and a gamer,his favorite color is green and his favorite food is neapolitan

He's very manly,yes,but not stereotypically and his anger and violent tendencies aren't a part of his gender but a trauma response and mental illness symptoms.His masculinity is the positive and healthy kind and he's not a pissbaby about femininity or kiddy things

He's canonically goth punk and i mean punk,as in part of punk subculture,not a thirst trap.He hates rich people and refuses to move back in with Bruce on principal,he believes in acab,he dosen't actively seek out to do activism due to plot but he DOES help out whoever he encounters that lives under thumb of the system,he's anti toxic social norms like amatonormativity and roasts them,he's an intersectionalist who respects all his minority loved ones identities and same goes for other minority characters he meets and while he didn't target exclusively bad people back when he killed,he DID state he believes they deserve it the most and one of his victim's include a pedophillic teacher who was csa'ing one of his student's

Pit Madness isn't real and was created to infantalize and flatten him.His ghost aspects manifests moreso in dissociation-esque moments for him and the Lazarus Pit's actual effects on him were amping up his physical capabilities by making him way stronger

His taste in partners is women of color and he's grossed out by normie women because they make him uncomfortable and pissed off with their types of flirtation due to his trauma and weirdo status-Said woc are his love interests who're an egyptian woman,a wasian/half cambodian woman and a monoracial afrolatina and the rejected normie girls are a blonde blue eyed voluptous flight attendant and the whitewashed born sexy yesterday-ified version of Starfire.Jason has class

He's in that weird place where he's super cocky and thinks he's hot shit but also hates himself and thinks he deserves even worse than he's gotten.He displays all the requirements for having ptsd,bpd and npd and possibly even DID

He dosen't care for alcohol or smoking,most likely the latter is due to A Death In The Family(where he got blown up)

He expresses his affection by bickering and non-maliciously poking fun and dosen't hold back on words of affirmation,acts of service and quality time.It's a rare occurance but he's a great gift giver too!

His Robin is Duke and he's Duke's Robin too.I cannot emphasize how important they are to eachother-Jason came back to the Batfam only because Duke is now a part of it and instantly loved him and got along with him,none of which is true for literally any other Batkids and he fully and unshakebly believes Duke is a real Robin,Batkid AND Batboy and tells him that all the time and that's exactly what he wants after being an outcast and not part of the group his whole life.Them fanarts and posts of 'The Core Batboys'?Fake,ooc and inherently erasure.There's no Jason without Duke and anybody who tells you otherwise just hates black people

Relatedly,anybody who tells you afrolatino Jason is racist also just hates black people.WE made that headcanon,nobody else so watch your mouths seeing as you're also Core Batkid Duke deniers.And on afrolatino Jason takes,he should be monoracial,dominican because his birthday is on our restoration day,a dreadhead and heavily connected to his roots as Talia,Alfred and Bruce would do research to make sure he could still grow up on his culture

He listens to punk rock and metal and is a dog person

As Red Hood,he believed he was doing the right thing by trying to control crime but the point of that is that he was wrong and that's because in real life,that's not how it works and is a problematic political stance as it's dehumanizing and criminals deserve rights(no,i'm not joking.i'm an actual radicalist and so is Jason post getting over himself and Robin!Jason was a lil anarchist)

The scene of Talia sleeping with him in Lost Days should never be aknowledge as it was written by an islamophobe who admitted to not reading her comics and if you 'joke' about it considering that and that Jason was a minor at the time,then congrats,you're a racist misogynist and a creep who shouldn't allowed near minors irl OR online.Talia and Jason interacted positively during his Robin days and their dynamic is mother and son

Him and Dick were on good terms in his Robin Days too,Tim shittalked him when he was dead a lot and Jason was never obsessed with him-much less to the extent of attraction and he's canonically anti-incest as he said he'd never wanna kiss any of the four brothers he has(see what i mean with never shutting up about Duke?),he and Damian are close and the second closest next to him and Duke in regards to Jason Batboy relathionships,Cass scares him and she shouldn't be close to him unless he stopped killing as it's a vital part of her she follows the no kill rule and her story is femalecentric one by design and him and Stephanie are found siblings

He hates Roy for coddling him all the time no matter how much he protested and thinks of him as an annoying idiot and while that's not true pre-N52 or in current canon,he has a right to establish boundries.Jayr*y Jason is Bad™️.Eddie should be his male best friend as adults instead since they were pen pals and oh yeah,actually the same fucking age instead of a 14 year old and a grown ass man with a daughter

Bonus headcanons i find very fitting as someone who started with Utrh and has read every Jason comics apperance and watched and played almost all his adaptions:He's a straightedge,he listens to Mcr and Korn and Jack Stauber's Micropop and rap,Robin!Jason was a Kory fanboy and not a Wonder Woman one because pre-N52 Kory is everything he admires in women(including the black part),his 'he's literally me' character is Ichigo Kurosaki and his ideal woman is an afrolatina version of Orihime Inoue,he's transmasc agender and goth/ghostgender as xenogenders and reclaims the f slur as a shorthand descriptor,he owns a jumbo sized Jake The Dog plush,he's a master chef with a specialty in dominican,arabic and mexican foods,he's covered in scars and some are self-harm ones,he's jacked(fat AND buff)and he's a Team Dad to break the cycle and his non-bio kids are the Kid Outlaws from mine and my mutuals Rhato fixit(120 issues and 2010-2020 runtime,is what he deserves)and Damian's generation the All New Teen Titans and if he were to have a daughter,he'd give her a gothic name

[hina-hina]

Can you do a platonic fic with Price? Price is the reader’s father? She’s like a carbon copy of her father’s personality and his habits. It’s gotten to the point where the similarities are eerie.

-🍁 anon

Hello 🍁 Anon!!! This was such a cute ask to do!! I would also like to say that, as of now, I'm only doing headcanons so I hope that's ok

(≧﹏ ≦) Thank you for requesting!!

Got slightly carried away with this one, but I hope you like it!

||Captain Price with a Carbon-Copy Child||

Warnings: some angst

Price never really imagined himself as a dad

But then, he had you and it changed his whole perception on fatherhood

He had always assumed your personality would be more like your mothers, due to you spending more time with her

But, after you got older, it became clear you were just a mini Captain Price

You had heard him once call someone a muppet and you didn't stop saying it for weeks

Once you got to your teen years, you probably tried to smoke one of his cigars

He found out and you were grounded for a month

You always miss him so much when he leaves on deployment or to go back to base

Insist he video call you whenever necessary

You begged him to take you to the base and show you around

He reluctantly agreed

When he brought you in, you were immediately enthralled with everything happening on base

When he introduced you to the other members of the 141, they could immediately notice the uncanniness

"This is Sergeant John MacTavish"

He smiled good-naturedly, "Call me Soap."

"The hell kinda name is Soap?"

Soap's face dropped as the others start laughing

Captain Price smiling proudly to your right

When you tell him you want to join the army when your older, he is not happy

He never wanted this life for any of his loved ones, but especially not you

It spurs into a big argument

He doesn't want you to join the military because it's dangerous and always thought he does the dirty work to make the world a safer place for you

Your angry, thinking that he's trying to control your life

It ends up with you not talking to each other the whole time he is on deployment

It pains him whenever he sits down for your video calls and you don't pick up

The other members of 141 would notice his change in attitude but not know how to help

He would eventually go to Laswell for advice

She would advise the two of you just talk it out, heart-to-heart

He dreads this because he has never been particularly good at talking about his feelings

But he is willing to try for you

He takes leave for a few days to come see you

When he comes home and you see him, you break into tears, your previous anger forgotten as you run and hug him

He hugs back, squeezing you tight with one hand pressed to the back of your head and a gentle kiss to your temple

"Don't cry, dear, It's okay."

You begin apologizing profusely through tears as he continues to just hold you and shush you gently

When you finally calm down, you two have that talk

He explains that he didn't ever want to seem controlling but he also wanted to keep you safe

You explain your feelings, how you were constantly worried about his safety

He had never really thought of that, apologizing for making you worry

"Now, I'll be worried half to death by it but if, when your old enough, you still want to enlist I'll support you. But you have to be careful for your old man, got it?"

You smile, nodding your head rapidly while you grab him in a hug again

"Alright, alright. Now, let's go get some ice cream or something."

[slytherinravebabe]

Theodore Nott - Headcanons

NSFW themes | Minors Dni | General

Life of the party for sure, he would definitely be at every party, bringing the liquor and weed

Theo tends to keep to himself until he really knows you, completely different person around his friends

His RBF goes crazy, intimidates everyone who doesn’t know him personally

Him and Mattheo are like brothers, I feel like Theo would have taken Mattheo under his wing and tries to guide him

Chains smokes like crazy

Loves stargazing, literally always in the astronomy tower smoking

Sneaks out constantly, I swear this man doesn’t sleep

Sarcastic and goofy as fuck, man can make you laugh

Speaks Italian and has a sexy ass Italian accent, will often incorporate Italian words while he’s speaking

Not as rebellious as the rest of his friends. Lowkey an actual Teddybear If he likes you but will kill anyone who fucks with you

Has terrible anxiety and trouble expressing his feelings but would never admit it

Captain of the Quidditch team, definitely a beater to get all of his anger out

Always makes sure his hair looks good, he’ll dead ass spend 30 minutes to perfect it -Mattheo makes fun of him for this

Loves working out, I can see this as a way for him to get his anger out plus train for Quidditch -Win win

Will always lend you his hoodies and t shirts, he absolutely adores seeing you in them

He would definitely be the kind of guy who can’t keep his eyes off of you if he finds you attractive

Loves curvy girls, Has a thing for bigger breasts. I can see him saying something like “I like something I can hold onto”

Definitely the kind of guy to leave hickies all over your neck and body to show “who you belong to”

He loves giving head, like it’s a problem, he will eat you out like your his last meal every single time, munch king

Hell finger you anywhere, he’ll make that his main goal, having a list of places to fingerbang you in

LOVES to be in control when he’s fucking you

This turned real feral, I apologize

Also Theo after Quidditch practice checking you out 🫦

[bugs1nmybrain]

Stoner Shigaraki Headcanons 🍃

Warnings: drug use (weed), shigaraki being a loser, some x reader inclusions (fem-reader), NSFW

18+ Minors Don't Interact

Shigaraki started smoking at 16. How he got his hands on it is a question neither AFO or Kurogiri could answer tbh. All they know is one night they smelt a WRETCHED shunky odor coming from his room and the sounds of coughing

When he first started he was actually bad at inhaling, a lot. He'd cough so hard and sometimes to the point that he'd straight up puke. And then he'd go take another hit with the puke still sitting on the floor

Shigaraki's appetite varies when stoned but usually he gets munchies for junk food or bland food like wheat thins lmao

He gets sleepy when he's high and the only thing keeping him awake are his games and his babygirl

Sad Story: AFO loves feeding into Shiggy's anger right? So one day he took his weed when he wasn't there and Tomura came back fucking MAD. He kicked a dent in the wall because he couldn't find his weed. Somehow it was some test of willpower from AFO. He got his weed back tho cuz it got conveniently placed back in it's proper spot a day later and Tomura thought he was going crazy

He's so funny when he's stoned because Tomura can either be pretty chill or clearly zoinked. When he's high af you can tell cuz his eyes are red af and he shakes a bit. He also doesn't make sense when he talks and will start talking about shit that's completely off topic

Hornyyy. Gets horny when he's stoned but sometimes he's too couchlocked to touch himself

Loves pens so much

He's more of an indica girlie because it helps him with his rage. He'll smoke anything tho

You best believe the League has smoke sessions

Goes through periods where he'll be high all the time and then other times he'll be sober or on another substance for a bit. Usually, he swings around his substance use with his manic episodes (I do headcanon Tomura as bipolar and you can't stop me)

Has tried smoking resin

If you can get him to laugh when he's stoned he won't stop for a while

All you'll hear for the next 2 minutes is a nasty uncontrolled cackle

"HehehHHahhaehHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Had burnt holes in his mattress with joints he smoked when he lived at AFO's

Kurogiri tries to get him to ease up but he never wins

He let's it happen cuz stoned Shiggy is easier to manage than drunk Shiggy

I will make drunk Shiggy headcanons eventually

Will get very affectionate when he's stoned, don't you mistake it. So many kisses and he will not let you go. You'll probably get stuffed

[vergeltvng]

NSFW Alphabet

Spicy Content. Don't read or participate if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Having a smoke. His (usual smaller, both f and m) partner laying on top of him. Pillow talk - sometimes he opens up about things he'd never speak about under other circumstances.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He fancies his beard a lot. He also knows exactly what he's doing by wearing his shirts unbuttoned. He has a weakness for pretty eyes, especially when they resemble Becca's eyes. Keeping that to himself and sometimes even getting angry about it out of nowhere tends to leave his partner irritated as a logical consequence.

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Prefers cumming inside. He is skilled with his fingers, so he'd lend a hand helping his partner cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As a teenager/young adult he preferred women quite a bit older than him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows well what he's doing. He's in his late fortys and likely has lots of experience (in the show he states that he already fucked someone as a lad. It's also implied that he was liberate with hook-ups in the past).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Due to his dominant nature doggy comes natural to him. He thinks missionary is very much underrated, too. (Continuing a heated argument while fucking?!)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not goofy during sex. He's an animal who devours someone alive.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has dark, thick hair (head, face, arms, chest, legs and pubic hair) with overall moderate hairgrowth. It's all natural, he doesn't shave or trim anything. His beard is slowly turning grey by now.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Don't expect him to be sweet in any ways. It can happen accidentially, like once in a blue moon.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off to self regulate. This man has some serious anger issues. But most of the times he just does it for the pleasure.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Being called Daddy in a sexual situation gets him rock hard immediately.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He actually likes a bed the most. Which doesn't mean he can't fuck literally anywhere.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It really doesn't need much to get him going. Being blunt about it ("wanna fuck?") will bring good results.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't let anyone penetrate his asshole.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving and receiving is equally fine.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's rough and his thrusting gets faster right before cumming.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He'd be like "yeah, whatever". Neither despises nor favors quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's quite vanilla to be honest. Which is everything but boring in his opinion. He'll likely won't engage in bondage, roleplay, excessive spanking, whipping, choking and similar practices.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is in very good shape and has more stamina than some men twenty years younger than him. He usually has good control over his orgasm. Occasionally he cums early out of pure egoism.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't hate toys but is convinced he can do better. He also wouldn't like to have them used on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He gets impatient when he's being teased and it's getting dragged out too much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's loud. Curses, grunts, moans, growls. Will unmistakably let his partner know when he's close.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He won't pull out early. He just won't do it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Has a massive girth and makes good use of it. 6½ inches in length when having an erection.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has an average to high sex drive. He was more active and chronically horny as a young man.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He can fall asleep quickly after finishing but it depends on his mood and whether he's got good rest the night before or not.

tagged by: found it tagging: steal it, i dare you.

[bobbin-buckley]

Vada Cavell Headcanons

Vada Cavell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of school shooting, mentions of smoking & getting drunk, smut, fluff, mentions of anxiety and depression, some angst,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW (Some Angst)

-You & Vada we’re dating for about 3 months before the shooting happened. Then slowly drifted away after it.

-I wouldn’t perhaps say you broke up, Vada just was keeping herself away from you and everyone else, well, almost everyone else

-Nick told you Vada was hanging out with Mia Reed, this made you feel a lot of different things; confusion, anger, sadness and jealousy you wanted, no you NEEDED to ask her why she was all of a sudden hanging out with this Mia girl

-You felt as if she was cheating on you, maybe? You stormed into her room one day and started rambling about how she just started ghosting you and smoking with the blonde girl

-Vada did feel bad, infact she did regret everything after realizing how upset you were. That’s when you found Vada in your arms again

-She did start to invite you over at Mia’s house, you didn’t like the idea but accepted when Vada have you those puppy eyes

-Helping each other through all this depression and pain, venting

-Vada is a pretty affectionate person if you are really close

-She definitely has acts of service as her love language, she’ll buy you stuff (if she isn’t broke), take care of you, take you out somewhere etc

-Movie nights with make-out sessions throughout the film

-Shed love your pet(s) if you have any, (she totally seems like a dog person)

-Being besties with her little sister Amelia, she loves you sm, you both love to tease Vada, prank her and hangout together w/ Vada

-Finds it weird her family adores you

-When your alone together there can be three different moods; fluffy, sweet, soft, silly cuddly or hot, horny, lust & flirty, or sad, fluff, upset, depressed but you cope together by cuddling and talking

-Always being side by side, Vada craves your touch or needs to touch you. Wanting to cuddle but if she can’t she’ll hold your hand, pinkies intertwined under a table or knee to knee and head in shoulder

-You find it hilarious when Vada gets cranky and throws a fit. She smacks you when you laugh

“I’m dating a literal four year old”

“Then that would be fucked up also, nuh-uh!”

-Loves to make dirty jokes just to see you hot & bothered

-Can be a pretty flirty person

-Going off to college together

-Doing pretty much everything together

NSFW

-There is never a time you and Vada will have serious sex

-This girl is full of humor, she’ll make all kinds of jokes when intimate

“Dude! You have huge tits.”

“Vada-”

“There like literal melons”

-Preferring Vanilla sex most of the time

-making love to each other makes you both feel alive again

-I could see her as a switch

-Skin to skin the entire time

-Secretly loves your boobs

-Probably doesn’t shave much down there cause she’s scared she’ll hurt herself, you don’t mind though and you offer to help her

-Making sure her family isn’t home and won’t be home till late when having sex at her house

-She looooves shower sex

-One time Vada had gotten you something as a gift….it was a strap-on

“Vada where the hell did you get that? You’re broke.”

“Nick bought it for me.”

“😦”

-Loves to use the strap-on on you, claims she wants to “breed” you even though she can’t (you think it’s hot though-)

-Took her a while to understand how to please someone but it’s okay

-Makes you suck on her strap

-Always wanting to take off your clothes for you

-I’d say for her first time (in this she doesn’t fuck Mia) she was pretty good

-You guys could go in for hours if her parents weren’t home so often

-Almost getting caught

-Attempting to have sex in the school bathrooms to make her less scared

-High sex

-Quite the begger

-Anytime you have sex it’s always soft and at a good pace (unless you have 10 minutes before her mom gets home)

You’ve got Vada wrapped around your finger that’s for sure

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heyyy

This seemed quick to write I hope it’s alright

Cairo will be next since you guys tied Vada & Cairo (You sillies)

[morn1e]

thank u 4 the 1like on that post. here r my dude headcanons that r mainly set 4 my au bcuz i am feeling nice&ok 2 share. do know that this is just how i personally interpret him. u can see him however u want, i am just but a random guy on the internet&he is a fictional guy made out of pixels.

- prepare 4 the real name of the century bcuz this is fucking stupid ermm what the sigma. ok so his real name is tanner parkley dude jr. .yeah his surname is genuinely dude. nickname “the postaI dude” derives from highschool where he worked as a postal worker during the summers(&was mocked 4)&since nobody liked him they gave him the name. was mainly called TP or dude by few that were friends bcuz he really hated the names tanner or parkley.

- born on feb 29th bcuz he does not deserve 2 have a bday every year🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

- not schizophrenic but is mentally unstable 2 some degree bcuz he does deal w very violent&intrusive thoughts on which he acts out on sometimes&has anger issues

- physically wise has struggled w chronic migraine since a young teen. his 20s were his worst years bcuz the migraines were @ their worst/most frequent+the fact he was a drug addict&did not properly take care of himself as he should+the ex wife nagging constantly did not help whatsoever. now that he is nearly 40+medicated they have greatly decreased but attacks still occur bcuz he still does not look after himself enough as he should

- was born in florida but the family moved around a lot(bcuz they could not b bothered 2 pay rent). eventually settled down in utah but moved 2 arizona 2 live in paradise

- am set on thinking he was a middle child. 3 sons in the family. is not in contact w any1 bcuz despises them all bcuz they were a nightmare growing up. 2 brothers sort of turned out like dude(substance abusers&broke). mom is still around but he does not dare talk 2 her bcuz she always was over religious&turned a blind eye 2 dads abuse

- only family he is in contact w is uncle dave! only guy who was genuinely there 4 dude growing up. dudes father really despised him hanging out w dave bcuz he was sorta known as a scummy scammer. dude as a teen helped out dave w his various schemes&whatever so much so 2 the point it costed a permanent offense on his record where it hindered dude from barely being able 2 finish high school+absolutely NO hope of getting into college bcuz nobody wanted him there. i think this is also a factor why he has a hard time holding a job(main factor is that he is just. a piece of low value shit)

- met the bitch through her sister bcuz he was dating her sister 1st. thought bitch was hotter than her sister so chose her. got married in las vegas in 1 of those cheesy stupid wedding chapels

- dude genuinely did love the bitch @ 1 point but in the end they were incompatible&they were both pieces of shit 2 each other. w age they just drifted away completely where they just Could Not stand each other. i believe sole reason they stayed 2gether was bcuz of tax benefit&could not afford a divorce or smth

- champ came into his life randomly 1 day while he was still in utah&champ as a stray came up 2 his trailer randomly. he got fed&bcame dudes companion from then <:)

- in my au dude is mainly clean off of crack bcuz when he moved into paradise got so pissed @ the crack dealer prices that out of sheer petty&principle said 2 himself he would Not smoke that shit b4 butchering most of the dealers. still has relapses but mostly manages. has turned 2 weed mostly

- has cried 2 nickelback @ least 3 times

- thinks too much pepper is genuinely considered spicy bcuz he is so white guy&cannot handle spice whatsoever

- fav desserts r smth like bread w butter&sugar or graham crackers w milk bcuz he grew up dirt poor&these were the only desserts they could afford

- does not rly have a fav alcoholic drink bcuz will drink abt anything just so it gets him fucked up as fast as possible. but if dude had 2 choose would like whiskey+coke or vodka+tonic cocktails. does not like red wine bcuz of how it tastes+it triggers a migraine

- knows how 2 cook meats like briskets&ribs&steaks&shit where they turn out rather really nice <:)knows how 2 cook overall but gets take out most of the time bcuz cannot b bothered 2 cook as the process is tedious as shit

- genuinely knows how 2 program&just has quite a lot of computer knowledge in general<:) if he was not dead set on not listening 2 any1&cared enough 2 b like every1 else in society dude could make a fine living off of developing websites 4 ppl on the web

- oh em gee now abt marnie❤️ the way they met is that he socked her in the face @ a concert in some crappy bar in paradise&after seeing how unbothered she seemed from the blow instantly knew she was different❤️yay❤️

- b4 him&marnie were official marnie was his mistress bcuz by the time they grew closer dude was still married. still cheating but by that time his&bitch’s marriage was in literal shambles that they just did not care abt the other having lovers

- got 2gether w marnie bcuz the sex was awesome&she makes 200k yearly from being a general surgeon, stayed bcuz she was his person all along.♡

[zoyaofthegardvn]

i would love to see you write hcs of ellie x reader, fluffy, angsty, and smutty lol

Ellie Williams Headcanons

A/N: Coming right up! I love Ellie, so glad I got a request for her :)

CW: Smut! 18+ plz! Also mentions of smoking weed lol and drinking

Fluff -

100% the big spoon

Calls you sweet names like baby, pretty girl, sweetheart, honey

Loves when you wear her clothes. You don't even need to ask. She's always offering you her shirts, jackets, sweatpants, etc.

She always keeps a protective hand on the small of your back whenever you're in a crowd or around people you don't know all that well

She brags about you all the time. About how smart you are, clever, funny, kind, selfless, whatever the case may be. She can't help but bring it up when you're not around

She's always coming up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist, peppering kisses along your neck, your cheek

She's there to steady you when you feel anxious, you'll grab her hand, link your arms, and she's instantly honing all her attention on you and your comfort

She hums songs for you when you can't sleep, brushes through your hair with her fingers, rubs your back

She's totally that significant other that like... transports/escorts you places.. if that makes sense? Like you need to go up the road? She's walking you there and dropping you off. She'll be back to get you later. Are you needed somewhere farther? She's taking you. You're sharing a horse. No questions asked.

Like I seriously think Ellie gives you total princess treatment

Always lets you take the first few hits of the joint

She lets you try her drinks to see if you'd like it for yourself, laughing when your face screws up in disgust at especially strong drinks

She's always making sure you got enough to eat and drink

I think if she saw your shoe untied she'd stop you to bend down and tie it for you, that's how serious she is about doing things for you

Like, she'd fluff your fucking pillows for you if you mentioned they felt a bit flat

Angst -

I think she gets mean when you two fight

Like, she has explosive anger, and she just gets mean

Most of the time, when you two fight, you remove yourself from the situation before it goes too far and you can't come back from it

She scoffs when you walk away, calling after you that you're giving up

And you throw her the finger, going off to find somewhere to scream, or cry, or both

You avoid her for several days

Shrugging off her attempts at affection, when she tries to get you to talk to her

You scowl at her, grumble, roll your eyes, stomp away

"Baby, come on, I'm really sorry..." she tries to plead, and you ignore her, still needing time to calm down

Finally, when she comes knocking at your door, days later, eyes concerned, body language ashamed and shy, you hear her out

She's apologetic, you warn her not to do it again, and then all is well

I think most of the time, you're angry about her recklessness

And she gets angry about your selflessness, when you work too hard and give up too much

It's always out of concern for the other

Smut -

She is sooo pussy whipped

She fucking loves eating your pussy, like she can get pussy drunk FASSSSTTTT

Swear she's licking into your cunt like at least once a day

She makes you cum on her tongue at least twice before she even lets you get her off

She likes it rough and dirty

Spitting

Hair pulling

Spanking

Degradation

She likes sitting in a chair with her legs spread, drink in hand, ordering you to strip

When you go to take your panties off, she tells you to turn around, so she can get a view of your ass and tight hole as you bend over

She likes to bend you over a table, fuck you with her fingers, or a strap, and mock your moans

She totally eats it from the back too

And she'll slip a finger into your ass when she wants to catch you off guard

When she's feeling lazy, she'll have you ride her thigh while she smokes a blunt

You'll bend down, put your lips on hers, and she'll blow the smoke into your mouth

She'll smack at your bouncing tits

She'll swat your ass, spurring you to move faster

And when you cum, she grips your hips, working you into overstimulation

I think for her pleasure, she loves to rub her cunt on yours, loves the feeling of your wet pussy on her own

She likes to have your fingers in her, usually three or four

And though it doesn't happen often, she will occasionally ride your face

Even if you two aren't actively having sex, just making out, she's spitting in your mouth

I also think she's a total panty stealer

She'll drag you off into an alleyway, closet, bathroom, etc.

And she'll pull your panties down your legs, eat you out or finger you

But she won't give them back

She'll pull your pants back on, or straighten your skirt or dress, and tuck your panties into her pocket

You'll smack her arm and demand she give them back

And she'll just smirk, saying, "Come over tonight, and I'll consider it."

[loveindefinitely]

i care so much about the tf 141 plays valorant au who are their mains please

༊*·˚ TASK FORCE 141 — valorant au headcanons.

a/n. omg thank you its a very meaningful thing to me ALSO

featuring. simon 'ghost' riley, johnny 'soap' mactavish, kyle 'gaz' garrick, john 'bravo six' price

warnings. gn!reader, suggestive content, crack, they're all in love and stupid, attempts at humour, polyamory

GHOST as an OMEN MAIN

✩ The first agent he unlocked, and the only agent he plays. If anyone else takes him, he doesn't select at all. Is on very thin ice due to his frequent dodges.'

✩ Likes the practicality of him, how the smokes help your entire team out, and the teleporting aspect makes it more fun for him to get frags. Tries to be experimental with it to try and impress you guys, but usually fails.

✩ Does not understand in the slightest why he mid frags usually, even when you, Soap and Gaz have explicitly explained how duelists and smokes work. He just views it as another thing to conquer.

✩ Makes fun of Soap because his smokes are 'weaker'. Has been hit in the back of the head for it.

✩ When he found out that Sage and Omen were somewhat of a ship, and overheard you saying how much you wanted the 'Halloween card', he asked about dressing up as them for Halloween. (Your glassy eyed smile made the cat ears worth it.)

✩ Deliberately smokes off entry just to piss off Soap, when he starts trying to backseat too hard. Once blinded you all because Gaz said that Soap's smokes were better. (Soap just smoke-entried onto site.)

✩ [NSFW] Plays on his voice, praising you, Soap or Gaz anytime you clutch or get a good shot in. Starts straight up dirty-talking mid-game, using every single one of your weaknesses against you. Talks more than he does in person when he gets antsy, getting off to the steady breathiness of your voices as he gets more and more filthy with it.

SOAP as a JETT MAIN

✩ The most obnoxious little fucker when he plays.

✩ An absolute menace. He specifically baits you and Ghost for frags, because he finds Ghost's growing anger and your petulant huffs amusing. (He also just loves how he pays for it later.)

✩ Asked Gaz to match one of those cringe usernames with him. Probably something like 'I Blow Bubbles' and 'Bubbles'. Gaz said no and also asked him to never speak of it again. (He asked you later, and you nearly cried on the spot.)

✩ Once cried because the enemy's team Jett was a smurf, and threatened to take his girl. He worried about it briefly, then remembered all of his '''''girls''''' were just down the hall. And not impressed with a guy that had more kills in a video game than in real life.

✩ Laughs when he sees Price die, than screams when he gets shot immediately after.

✩ [NSFW] Gave you head while you played a game once, unbeknownst to the other two. Made you give comms while his fingers thrust into you, his tongue licking over your hole. Laughed against your thigh when you pulled his hair after he made you die with a cruel stroke.

GAZ as a KAY/O MAIN

✩ Used to be a Pheonix main, but got sick of Soap making fun of him for choosing the 'brit', and the one that people shipped with Jett. Told him that if he wanted him so bad, to just come out and say it. (Gaz turned off his PC at the plug for that.)

✩ His flashes are usually really good, but if Soap or Ghost make a snide remark, or Price tries to take the leadership-role, he'll flash everyone. Says it was a misclick but no one is buying it.

✩ Has watched multiple lineup videos, and takes it all very seriously. If you or Soap are bantering while he's trying to do it exactly right, he'll threaten to go to your rooms and smother you with your pillows. (Neither of you complain, and if you're feeling particularly bratty, you'll push him to his limits.)

✩ Was the first one to play Valorant, and got Soap hooked. From there, it spiralled, but he's just happy he gets to do something he enjoys so much with the people he loves so much.

✩ Definitely the most patient one of the team. He kinda taught all of you at some point, because he doesn't get pissed off as easily as Soap. Also, he just loves watching as either you, Price or Ghost start to understand how fun it is -- and start to be able to properly play.

✩ [NSFW] Has played with you sitting on his dick, letting you cockwarm him while he presses kisses into your neck. Did it while in a custom game with Soap, and whenever Soap was starting to win, he'd set the voicechat to auto, so your moans and whimpers could be heard. (Led to an unfinished game, but three finished orgasms.)

PRICE as a KILLJOY MAIN

✩ He plays KJ purely out of spite. When you three (ghost would never) first begged him to play with you, Soap, Gaz and you had convinced him to play Brim. He was not impressed when five minutes in, Soap was whining for him to try and say the voice lines.

✩ The reason he likes playing her so much is because he can spend his time setting up sites. He likes defense over attack, and it's really cute when he hums while trying to do lineups.

✩ (He doesn't tell any of you this, but part of it is that he gets to sit back while you all compete for top frag. In the field, he might take the top rank, but he likes seeing you all laugh and poke fun at each other. He falls a lil bit more in love with each of you every time threats are thrown about over comms.)

✩ His aim is shit. Like, absolutely terrible. Has complained multiple times about how the guns don't have the right heft to them, and that it's all completely unrealistic.

✩ If he goes AFK, it's to head to either you or Gaz, pick you up, sit in your seat, and just watch as you play from his lap. Just rests his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist. Doesn't care about the penalty -- would much prefer to embrace his partner.

✩ If any of you are up late, playing, when he wants to cuddle up and go to sleep, he WILL turn off the internet just as you press queue again. Feigns ignorance, but you all know it was him. (You all pretend that you believe him, because you can't exactly decline his silent neediness.)

✩ [NSFW] When he's feeling particularly horny, he'll start prompting bets between you all. Like, whoever top frags gets to cum first, or, however many times you die is the amount of spanks you'll get. All while waiting for the inevitable pounding of knocks on his bedroom door.

A/N. this au is so disgustingly self-indulgent i am disappointed in myself. anon, even if this is only enjoyed by me and you, at least there's someone else out there that understands me 🙌 thank you for giving me a reason to rant about my silly lil thoughts. if this at all interests anyone pls lmk or give me ideas for a oneshot...

[jackasswhre]

Hiya idk if your requests are open but if they are can I get a jackass image/fic (Platonic) where reader gets dumped by their partner

This is kinda hard to explain

But yk how some people write a fic and there multiple people in that in fic that's kinda what I'm thinking like something with whatever jackass guys you want

(⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

hiiiiii, yes they are open, sorry ive been really busy lately so i havent posted

i did headcanons bc i dont really know how to write full fics, also i did johnny, steve-o, ryan, bam and pontious :) hope you like it!!!!

Platonic!Johnny Knoxville/ Steve-o/ Bam Margera/ Ryan Dunn/ Chris Pontious x reader who has just been dumped

Johnny Knoxville

(im really sorry his is gonna be short bc i have no idea what to write for him)

Ok so i feel like Johnny would definetly hug you and tell you that it's going to be okay

Like some motivational dad talk lmao

Because his way of comforting you is most likely talking about it

And if you don't want to talk about it then he 100% understands and tells you that he's here for you

Probably watches a comedy movie/show with you so you will laugh

Orders takeout or makes food himself

Just like makes sure you feel alright and makes you forget about the person who just dumped you

Does anything you ask him to

In general he's really gentle about it

Steve-O

I feel like Steve-O wouldn't really be into the whole talking thing

I mean like he definetely will listen to you rant if you need to but he just wouldn't really know what to say

It also depends on what era it is

Because if he's sober then he's incredibly sweet and like Johnny probably watches a movie with you

But if he's not sober then he'll 100% suggest going to the bar and getting shit faced after like 10 minutes of hearing you talk about the breakup

And like honestly you two would have so much fun that night

Drinking and laughing

Honestly maybe even crying

If you don't want to go to the bar then he understands and goes by himself

Lmao jk he's not that mean

He might whine a bit but if you really don't want to go then he gets it and you guys probably fall asleep on the couch watching some early 2000s cartoon

Bam Margera

Now here's the deal with Bam

He totally and completely gets it and is there for you

But he will also suggest that you guys go skate to let some anger out

If you can skate it's not even gonna be a suggestion

He'll literally grab you, pull you off of the couch and throw you in the car to go to the skatepark

If you don't know how to skate he says that he'll help you and while you're there he "teaches" you different tricks but in reality he's just having fun and he may have slightly forgotten that you can't skate

Once you guys are done you probably hit up a gas station, buy some snacks and sit on the sidewalk

In the middle of converstation he'll ask if you're okay and if there's anything else he can do

Bam's an amazing friend so he'll help in any way he can

If the person who dumped you was a guy and was a total asshole then he definetely calls Dunn and they "talk" to him

You guys spend the rest of the night listening to HIM and maybe even smoking

Ryan Dunn

Bro when I tell you that Ryan is the best friend anyone could have I mean it

I mean like first of all he would 100% give you an AMAZING hug and tell it's gonna be alright

Then he would probably take you to the store and buy you whatever snacks and/or drinks you wanted

You guys would spend the rest of the afternoon/evening/night/whenever talking and watching tv

He shares some of his stories on how he got dumped and tells you that he knows how you feel and wants to make you as happy as possible

If you want to laugh then he'll put on some show or tell you funny stories

If you want to cry then he will totally cry with you

If you're mad then he will first try to calm you down and if that doesn't work he'll find an abandoned building or something where you guys can break stuff

If the rest of the viva la bam/cky guys hear about what you guys are doing they will 100% join you (and if you don't want them to Ryan tells them to fuck off)

Ryan's the definition of the sweetest friend anyone could have

Chris Pontious

Lets get one thing straight

Chris is the funniest person on the planet

So when you tell him about you getting dumped, his goal is to make you laugh as much as possible

Whether that's while you're crying

Or when you guys are talking about other things

He tries to get your mind off of it and he does anything to do it

Even if he totally embarasses himself in the process

As long as you're laughing he's happy

He's also really good at talking so if you don't want him to make jokes 24/7 he'll 100% listen and talk to you about other things

I feel like he gives really but also kinda stupid advice

Idk how to explain it

Maybe its the fact that normally everything that comes out of this dudes mouth is goofy as fuck

Or maybe its just the fact that he hasn't fully stopped making jokes

Whatever it is the advice is still pretty good

And he is still fully devoted to making you happy

Also please laugh at his jokes

Even if they're kinda bad

It'll boost his ego so much lmao

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons for Mark, Jonah, and Adam and an S/O who has a bunch of vita carnis Mimics as "helpers."

What would the three of them think of someone who can somehow "tame" these things and just keeps them around as house pets? They just hang out in their home and on their little plot of land (that I'd imagine is isolated because people moved tf away when the rumors started spreading) and keep any threats away. Reader doesn't actively do anything to sate their diet though. Although they aren't opposed to the Mimics stomping out any would-be troublemakers or those who piss them off... They still get their food themselves but use reader's home as a place of refuge.

Maybe the way the three of them meet their S/O was finding out that Alternates were being warded off from there. Idk, I haven't had a chance to get fully invested in MC but the idea just sounds really interesting. Also, I have the mental image of a Mimic putting away the dishes and someone's immediate reaction is screaming "What the FUCK is that?!?!" And just getting this whole explanation of what it is and that this one and all the others are friendly despite it needing to be reminded that the human in front of them is not food.

I LOVE that mental image you described. Mimics just doing chores and human things, only to see an actual human look at them absolutely HORRIFIED

........

Mark

He was relieved to get away from the Alternate-populated Mandela County for a while.

But when you answer the door while preparing dinner, you called out for James (one of the male Mimics you named) to stay in the kitchen...

Without realizing how extremely suspicious that sounded until you saw the look on Mark's face. "Who's James?"

"Oh! He's uh...can you wait here while I-?"

"Is he your new roommate or something?" He jumps to conclusions immediately, thinking you're cheating on him as you never told him you lived with another person.

In anger he storms past you to confront this "James" you were apparently being so secretive about....

Before you could stop him, he sees the Mimic and freaks out, causing it to drop the plate it was holding and screams right back at him.

You're quick to disperse the situation before it becomes a bloodbath, but by then it's too late. Mark was thoroughly traumatized.

When you mentioned living with creatures who kept the local Alternate population out of your town..he didn't think they'd be be skinless humans.

He locked himself in your bathroom, trying to stave off a panic attack as he recites his prayers, convinced there was "evil" hanging over your house.

Eventually he lets you in and you help him calm down, reassuring him that wasn't the case at all before explaining the Mimics and their role in your household, answering whatever questions he had (which were a LOT).

"Even if they're not demons....why would God make something like that?"

"Maybe..it's the same reason he made the platypus."

"......that's not the same, s/o."

"I know, I'm just trying to help."

Jonah

He's made jokes about the Mimics before.

But he didn't think they were real living and breathing creatures you were coexisting with.

He swears he was smoking something when he saw one wearing your clothes and sweeping the floor with a broom like any ordinary person would.

At first he tries to be chill about it as to not freak you out..

Until he goes into your pantry for a snack and finds shelves with jars filled to the brim with Crawl sticks.

As well as a Mimic curled up on the highest shelf, asleep.

Next thing you know, Jonah's dry heaving over the nearest trash can.

"Babe for the love of GOD please tell me that I'm on some weird ass trip because I can't handle this rn"

"...well maybe if you didn't brush off my research, you wouldn't be as scared." You pat his back before glaring at the Mimic who was just seconds away from lunging at your boyfriend at his most vulnerable moment.

"Jonah, sweetie..rule number one is to never turn your back on a Mimic unless you're running away from it." You make him turn around to face it, and they stare at each other before it eventually calms down and leaves.

Even after you explained how you "tamed" the Mimics, he's too scared to leave your side or be alone in the same room with one.

Their permanent smiles and wide eyes just...give him the chills. Even if they're just staring with curiosity, he always insists it's a look of hunger.

They are aware he's dating you and will playfully threaten to eat him, but never actually go through with it bc you'd probably kick them out and leave them without food.

Adam

(gonna make this post-Catalyst)

He's having a tough time keeping the relationship alive and coping with being an Alternate--a secret he only recently shared with you.

Despite him being the first one you've ever encountered, you're not all that afraid. Just surprised.

You confess to having your own secret to share, taking him to your home where you could talk about it more.

He keeps asking how you could trust him with anything when he looked like a hideous monster. But you reassured him he'll understand soon enough.

After you arrive, he sees the Crawl trees behind your house, but thinks nothing of it until you bring him inside.

You whistle and a Baby Mimic comes skittering towards you on all fours, climbing onto you like a koala bear before you turn back to your boyfriend, smiling.

It takes him a second to connect the dots. "....wait, that's a....Vita Carnis...i-it's a real thing??"

"They've always have been."

"Wow, this is...one hell of a secret. D-Does..that Mimic know what I am?"

"The adults can usually tell, but this little bugger thinks you're tasty food." You scratch the baby Mimic's chin, hearing it coo sweetly as it nibbled on your jacket strings. "But you see why I'm not scared of you? Because I've made peace with these "hideous monsters", just like I've made peace with what you told me."

He tears up at your sweet and kind words, though he listens as you introduce him to the "helpers" of your household aka the adult Mimics who wore your clothing and were doing different tasks.

They all kinda stared at Adam as he awkwardly greeted them, but didn't do anything more.

It's strangely comforting that they perceive him as a human.

At the same time, he feels lucky to not look appetizing to them.

[elwenyere]

What are some Cody-related headcanons you have? If you'd like to share 🙏

Hello Anon! Thank you so much for this wonderful ask. Cody is one of my favorite characters to write, and it's a joy to share some of the ideas and inventions that have come out of building stories for him.

I think one thing that's become crucial to the way I imagine Cody is that he's been thrust into this extremely high-responsibility, heavy-emotional-toll position at a super young age, and he's had to learn how to compartmentalize and repress pretty aggressively in order to keep doing his job. There are losses he just can't let himself fully acknowledge if he's going to remain functional (and he's very good at his job, so there will be more losses if he can't function), so I think of there being a distance - both deliberately cultivated and unconsciously formed - between what Cody's feeling and what he's saying, or even what he's thinking about consciously enough for it to surface in the narrative focalization.

That means that I see Cody as a character with an incredible strength of will and power of self-denial, but I also like to think about the small ways he might allow himself to blow off steam, and I imagine a lot of them would be sensory: extra spice in the food, a little flavored creamer in the caff, the ritual of smoking a cigarette, or of having sex - especially with someone with whom he's on the kind of footing that allows for eye rolling and shit-giving.

On that note, I also think of Cody as someone who derives satisfaction from solitude (which he hardly ever gets) and is maybe too good at bearing loneliness (which he gets more and more of as the war goes on). He has a fierce loyalty to his men, and he also has to order them to their deaths all the time. He understands that means he can't share the same kind of camaraderie with them that they share with each other. So he holds himself apart: someone many people respect, some resent, and few really know. But as isolated as that might make him feel, he's also got barely any time that he can truly call his own, so I imagine that maybe in a no-chip/Republic-wins AU he might decide to peace out for a while: go live by himself and do things that are low-stakes and build some habits that are totally his own.

I think he's so used to using anger - a kind of low-simmering, deeply saturating, furious indignation - as a substitute for fulfillment that he barely notices how much of his emotional apparatus is coated in frustration until he's struck by something that reopens the yearning - the curiosity and thirst and restlessness - that not even the brutal grind of being Marshal Commander of the Third Systems Army can crush out of him.

Also he's funny and he's sharp: that's important to me. Cody can absolutely read you for filth while sounding unremarkably polite, and you won't realize he's verbally shivved you until you're on the turbolift leaving the meeting.

Thank you again for this lovely ask, Anon!!! I hope this is close to what you had in mind by headcanon. <3<3<3