#I also had some mushroom stems from the summer

[renee-mariposa]

I made bone broth for the first time in ages and god I’d missed the stuff

[rontra]

I just realized- we don't know if Raven has a bond/portal to Summer, but if she does and if Summer is maybe alive..how do you think that would work? Any ideas on that? I'm genuinely interested

i've been sitting on this ask for a bit because my fungus wasn't in full bloom but like, fuck it, one week till the finale, let's get all the mushrooms on the table before we see whatever 9.10 has to say about summer HDHBFG <- PREPARING TO GET OWNED

the first thing you need to know is i have immense rosebird disease so everything hereafter is colored by that. i just think they're neat and i also love having remnant's #1 and #2 absent mothers in the same room

^so this is less "predictive analysis" and more "what i think would be cute for women to do". we're in the realm of transformative analysis. i don't necessarily "believe it is true/will happen", i'm just taking you to my infected playground to play outside...<3

ALSO IT'S LONG AS HELL 🤷‍♂️

but, okay, so, Kindred Link and Summer Rose. this whole Q is basically a flowchart to me. Step One:

Is Kindred Link voluntary?

there's a lot about raven's semblance we don't know, including how exactly said links are formed. however, we know very well from her twin brother that semblances can be an independent engine that fires according to its own rules, whether you want it to or not; it isn't impossible that kindred link is completely involuntary.

yang says (citing tai's explanation) that raven "marks" people, which is a wording that implies some amount of agency. but is that true?

okay um. this is purely headcanon. i admit. but i like it. so. it seems to me that raven's life would be very different if she could choose her kindred link loadout at will. we know raven and qrow were treated very differently by the tribe, and i think their semblances play a huge part in that. obviously raven's is not neutral: her semblance would be invaluable to her bandit family if they could control it, and i can imagine a great deal of energy was spent trying to cajole raven into forging links there. (family—only coming around when they need something.) raven has a whole host of issues stemming from the way she was raised, and i can't help but feel like her suspicion towards kindness is stemming from a history of people only treating her well because they want something from her, and the inevitable tension when she isn't able to simply give it. and i think with all that, if a young raven could be forced to forge links her situation would be different? so it makes sense to me that you can't just make kindred link Go.

that was a whole tangent solely for a headcanon but i did tell you this whole post is like that. i think you can't intentionally form these links, and you can't intentionally sever them either; after all, raven still has her links to the people who hurt her most.

like okay..., isn't it compelling to imagine raven branwen learning to care about these people, getting soul-bonded by her semblance to her chosen family, and still not being able to sever them even after being injured so severely by these people because her heart and soul can't let go of their attachment. tell me that doesn't make you swoon,

if her semblance is voluntarily controlled, i think it lessens the impact of the links she does have, so i'm choosing to rule it as involuntary. when raven forms a genuine attachment it's strong enough for her soul to respond. in the beginning, this was a bond she only shared with qrow, who was hated by their family: so she could go to him in an instant if she had to. in present time, we know she also has a link to tai, and yang, and had one to vernal (F) but apparently no one else in the tribe (telling).

there's no comment on summer's status here, but we've ruled kindred link as involuntary, so the next question on our flowchart is:

Were Summer and Raven close?

this is maybe the most tantalizing bit of the STRQ Puzzle to me because it's a wholly unknown component. tai and qrow both talk about summer and raven, and raven talks about both of them—but raven seems to make a concerted effort to not take summer's name into her mouth if she can help it. even when she's indulging in her favorite pastime (sniping at people) she doesn't have any bullets with summer's name on them. the closest we get is the "you sound just like your mother", which is definitely said in (DEROGATORY) tone, but is also pretty...mild compared to how she talks about the rest of the inner circle.

obviously this doesn't make the answer an automatic "yes": just as it's possible raven has a reason that compels her not to badmouth summer, it's also possible that their relationship was not substantial enough for raven to care about summer or her opinions. which WOULD BE a funny twist but it's also not a lot of meat to sink our teeth into (lol) because it would make the answer firmly No, Raven does not have a kindred link to Summer: an end to our flowchart!

but this post is.......not over......i'm not letting it be over...!!

personally i think STRQ is more fun if you split the twins up (because they would absolutely TRY to ensure they were partnered at any cost so we can't have that) which would make summer's partner one of the twins. i think it makes more sense (and more of that inevitable STRQ-breaking tension lol) if her partner is raven; summer was appointed the leader of her team and raven is a genuinely competent leader, you know this song and dance, yada yada raven is the weiss of her team (but has the leadership skills to back it up) etc etc

so, okay, that's her Partner, they have their ups and downs and various team-building exercises until both twins are ready to go Full Golden Heroism. like we know it isn't just qrow and that both of them get pulled away from their original goal to become wholeheartedly ozpilled; raven is cited as being just as All In with The Good Fight(TM) as her chosen family. in that scenario she and her heroic little partner could be plenty close just fine; i think all of strq became raven's chosen family, including summer rose...and it's just her soul responding ❤🤍

so yeah fuck it let's say Yes, Raven has a kindred link to Summer, now we have to keep going;

How does Kindred Link work?

oh boy.

by this question, i mean the following: how does raven experience kindred link, and how does it interact with her other senses? kindred link allows raven to open a portal to the other person and go to them whenever, from wherever, but there is more to it than that.

ONE: Kindred Link must, through some means, convey to raven WHEN she's needed. in volume 2, yang is in mortal danger inside a moving, enclosed, underground train car: there is no possible means to see inside, so raven's usual trick (bird spycraft) can't apply. even so, raven knows yang is in danger, exactly when she needs to know it. necessarily Kindred Link has somehow alerted her that her soulbond is in danger, and she would receive this information for any of her links. we don't know how dire the situation needs to be for this to happen, but we know it kicks in at LEAST for "immediate mortal danger". (because we have no insight into this, it is possible that raven's 6th sense pipes up far earlier for far less threat and she simply chooses to hang back.)

TWO: Kindred Link must, through some means, impart real-time awareness of what is happening on the other end of the link. simply put, when using her semblance, raven receives information about the other end of her link before the portal opens. at bare minimum, she knows where her person is in relation to other things in the space, and what the area generally looks like; she needs this information in order to place portals the way she does. raven's portals are always placed with purpose and a clear awareness of what's going on. this is how she's able to pull off an array of failwoman tricks, like her "placing the portal as far away from tai as she can get away with while crying and screaming" from the end of v5 (contrasted with her very funny move of lining her portal up so that it points cinder directly at ruby or her precise maneuvers during aforementioned train scene<3) these are different purposeful moves that all imply a fairly detailed level of knowledge—of a place raven can't see!

we don't know how raven experiences her 6th sense and what it's like from her side; likewise, we don't know if (2) here is "always on", or if it's only when actively trying to place a portal that she gets a quick download of the information she needs.

HOWEVER, these two things both being true makes it very likely to me that a Third Thing is probably also true: she would feel it if one of her links was severed, and only one force we know of can sever a link raven isn't ready to let go of. Whether Summer Rose is alive or dead, Raven would know.

oh my god...could you imagine?.... 😩

Is Summer alive?

yes. next question.

Why does no one else know, if Raven knows?

3 things: raven's severance from the ozluminati, her injured feelings, and potentially summer rose herself.

raven may still be in touch with qrow, but it's clear that receiving information from her is a privilege. she hoards and guards knowledge like a magpie, but she's also a spy: raven sharing what she knows is a show of trust or even loyalty and does not come easy. it doesn't come at all if you aren't her direct collaborator or someone she has specific self-determined reasons to share information with. to be blunt, receiving raven's intel is not a privilege her family has anymore, except for when she has a specific reason to talk to qrow. in general, the privilege has been thoroughly revoked, because:

the last time raven attempted to share information with her team, they rejected her. when raven's world turned too scary and she learned A Few Too Many Things about the realities of remnant and the unwinnable war—when she turned to her family for support—her family either did not understand what she was saying or chose not to believe her. she did not receive support in this critical moment, from the people she most loved and most needed; their rejection was a betrayal so fundamentally damaging to their bond that raven severed from them for good.

if raven was sitting on something as unfathomably charged as "summer rose is alive (and/or with salem(?????))", why would she spill? summer's family have already shattered her trust and she has no incentive to share information with them, because they don't deserve that privilege (<- this is obviously raven's hurt feelings turning thorny to protect herself).

this is already sufficient for me, particularly if their bond was close enough for raven to have Her Own feelings about summer being alive to untangle; she has known about this and protected the secret for a decade and a half, so it's possible she has her own reasons specifically for "protecting" this secret.

maybe the reason she doesn't involve summer in her insult volleys isn't because she has nothing bad to say; rather, it may be a part of her spy strats to avoid addressing summer too directly in any way, because she knows the secret. why invite conversation about her?

of course, the third potential factor: summer rose herself. we don't know what happened after summer left. but it's POSSIBLE that raven has met with her, later than anyone else; it's even possible that the "we can face her together" speech reminded raven of something that happened after summer left home. we don't know the extent of raven's knowledge of what summer has been up to, but it's possible that they've talked, either before summer met salem or after.

(if after, the rosebird box is wide open, because a salempilled summer is simultaneously raven's worst nightmare and a balm to her numerous cuts and bruises: imagine what it would do to her to hear you were right, we should have believed you.)

i am really obsessed with the concept of this weird mix of disloyalty to oz/tai/qrow/etc (who have been excluded from the List Of People Who Deserve It) and loyalty to summer (even if it's only out of Old Respect For My Partner (The Only One Who's Had The Sense To Defect) and they had no further interactions).

it's possible raven knows far FAR more than she lets on, depending on how much information kindred link has fed her about summer's whereabouts / if theyve met. crwby has a golden opportunity to do something very funny in the next episode (dragging raven into her mess)

it's possible raven never investigated further, too. that she knows summer is alive but hasn't gone to check it out, either because she doesn't want to know what's happened to her or she's convinced herself she's better off not getting involved.

but... oh.... i do think women should kiss...

(checks the flowchart) so i think we're at "Raven is keeping her secret on purpose for bisexual reasons"?

[corkcitylibraries]

Cork City Libraries Sustainability Blog | Sow…Let’s Grow! Gardening in July

The garden in July and August is really the gardeners’ magnum opus. All the hard work throughout the year is finally (and literally!) coming to fruition. Just yesterday I ate my first home-grown strawberry of the year, and although a slug had technically piped me to the post, the berry was nevertheless still as sweet.

Aside from a variety of fruits and vegetables reaching maturity during these long summer days, there is plenty that can be planted now so that you can have fresh produce all year round. Here in the Hollyhill Seed Library we have several packets of carrot seeds, and if you plant them out now you will have a gorgeous crop of carrots come Autumn. Sow the seeds about 1cm deep in rows 15 – 30 cm long. Sow them as thinly as possible because you want to avoid having to pinch them out later, as this can attract carrot root fly and then all your hard work will be for nothing.

Another vegetable you can plant now for an autumn crop is the pea, which we also have in stock in the Hollyhill Seed Library. There is nothing nicer than the taste of freshly grown peas and if you grow nothing else this year, please invest the time and love into growing a couple of pea plants. Push the seed 3cm down into the soil, keep it well watered, and give it something tall to grow around – that’s all there is too it! If you plant them now you should be able to harvest the lovely little pea pods around September.

Chive seeds can also be harvested now, and I have actually managed to harvest some of my own this year and have very proudly donated them to the Seed Library. I noticed that it was growing new flowers even though the old flower heads were still on the plant so I decided something must be done. I snipped off the flowers taking a good bit of the stem with them, immediately put them upside down in an envelope and left them outside overnight so all the little insects can escape (make sure you check the weather forecast beforehand though – you do not want soggy seeds!). Most of the seeds should come out if you give the chives a good shake at this point and you can simply discard the flowers, but if you want to go the extra mile you can tie the stems together using a slip knot and keep them as dried ornamental flowers. Nothing has to go to waste!

Because everything is growing so rapidly at this time of year, it is important to remember to feed your plants with fertiliser or compost – especially if you are gardening in pots. If the very thought of which fertiliser to use or how to start a compost heap is making your head whirl, you are not alone.

Thankfully we have lots of books in stock that can help you along the way, including No-Waste Composting: Small Space Recycling, Indoors and Out by Michelle Balz, The Ecological Gardener: How to Create Beauty and Biodiversity from the Soil Up by Matt Rees-Warren, and How to Make and Use Compost: The Practical Guide for Homes, Schools and Communities by Nicky Scott. I started my compost heap from scratch just under a year ago and it is coming along nicely now. The first time I used it, it was a disaster – nothing grew! I had used it far too soon and it was still so acidic that it had killed the seeds. Disheartened, I left it for several more weeks and even invested in some worms that had been destined for the end of a fishing line. Around mid-June I decided to try again and used it to plant some salad leaves and basil. Lo and behold, not only did the seeds thrive this time round, so too did some mushrooms, which I see as a huge bonus!

[killmebythebeach]

A bunch of head cannons (Maybe too much). Also in talking about the characters.

I think Dream is that one design where his skin is just the static tv screen. He just constantly emits that fuzzy noise, Sam crafted him the smile mask that he can see through so he doesn't scare people.

George is just kind of the server itself. He's the same species as Hannah, but a mushroom and more powerful. If he stays awake too long, the server just kind of freezes. This is also a reason XD keeps him sleeping, it's his way of talking to George and he thinks the server is like his soap opera of mortals.

Callahan is sort of like the person who makes sure George doesn't get killed or dies while asleep, making sure he's surrounded by mushrooms and such. Deer hybrid <3

Alyssa joined the server because she knew all her friends were idiots and didn't want them to die immediately. But once the elections rolled around, she felt the pressure of choosing sides and ran away to the desert, only keeping contact with Ponk. She actually lives just a couple miles from Foolish's summer home. Her communicator actually died after a couple months and she had no way of charging it, so she lost contact with everyone.

Sapnap is a magma cube hybrid and can jump higher than most, his natural temperature runs hotter, and is fire proof. Bad found him in the nether when he was maybe 10-15 years old.

Sam was actually a normal creeper, but gained player like sentience from being struck by lightning. Instead of becoming charged, he gained intelligence and met the others on the server. Callahan taught him some Redstone, but from there he figured out a lot on his own. He's also a creeper centaur.

Ponk is actually a descendant of a fairy, a lemon tree. Their mask was also a gift from Sam because after the second or third time their tree was burnt, their immune system was weakened a considerable amount. Alyssa also wore her mask for them.

Bad is a size shifting demon from the nether, more specifically soul sand desert. He uses soul fire to gain strength, so because the egg died when near it, he was just a little weaker than normal. Because he's a demon he needs a tie to the overworld to stay there, he tied his soul and lives to Skeppy.

Tommy was grown in a lab to be a hero, project: THESEUS. The lab gave him small enhancements, like slightly stronger and just a bit more resilient, to make the Above Average Boy (TM). He then ran away to meet Wilbur. When Dream asked Wilbur if he wanted to come to the server, he asked if Tommy could go first to see what it was like. He also actually really likes gardening and making up funny songs to Wilbur playing guitar. He also made funny lyrics for his discs, but he's still a bit scared to take them out of his ender chest. Other than bringing attachment, Dream also exiled Tommy to see what his lab enhancements could do.

Tubbo is an adaptive hybrid! His hair was blond, shifting to brown when Wilbur found him, getting blue eyes from Tommy, growing small horns under Schlatt, parts of his skin being static when Dream was "helping" him with his presidency, and parts of his scars tinging black and green from Ranboo and Micheal. Tubbo also helped Wilbur write part of the anthem. He likes living in the snow because the Manberg flag had magma blocks on it, casting a heatwave over the country, and after L'Manburg blew up it got really hot from the exposed stone in direct sun.

Fundy can actually hold his breath for a very long time and swim very well because of Sally teaching him and his salmon genes. The yellow things on his hat are actually shells, and the stripes on his jacket are trans colors. Also with his dreams, he saw Eret was going to betray them but didn't think it was real, or didn't want to. He also saw Wilbur blow up L'Manburg but chose not to believe it, thinking his father could still be saved. He actually saw pretty much everything, but didn't quite understand what they were until after doomsday.

The necklace Punz wears is one of those picture lockets, but he lost the picture and can't remember what it was. The first time Dream paid him was when Dream asked for help and Punz made an off hand joke about getting money, and then Dream thought he was being serious. Him, Dream, and Sapnap were like brothers, and Punz got sadder every time he saw Dream pushing people away and diving deeper into darkness.

Purpled is an aliensent to see if the planet was colonizable, but then crashed and was stranded, all his communications down and his ship barely able to hover fifty feet off the ground. When Quackity blew it up, he essentially got rid of his chance of ever going home. Purpled's species can shapeshift, so he turned himself into the first person he saw, Punz. Eventually before trying to communicate with the native life forms, he edited his form a little so they weren't identical, keeping purple eyes and antennae, changing the colors slightly, and changing the voice up. When he moves away from the main SMP, Ponk makes sure to check up on him and that he has a way to check his communicator.

Wilbur came a month after sending Tommy. His father being a patron of life and his mother the goddess of death, he met in the middle being born as a human. The only reason Ghostbur was as active and present as he was was because he was so connected to both life and death. Since his corpse was decaying for as long as it was, Wilbur is now super weak, his flesh is thin and his eyes are rotted and gone. Much like Ghostbur, Wilbur in limbo saw what people said about him, and Ghostbur could hear that from the back of his head. Now Wilbur can hear what people say about Ghostbur and he hates it, not wanting to be connected to what he thinks like a shell of himself.

Schlatt is a ram (duh) and actually does the fainting goat thing. So when he died of a heart attack, no one knew at first if he was actually dead or not. His alcoholism stems from the revive book, as the possibility of tampering with death made him existential and scared, so to cope he drank. There are also a ton of other stuff other than revival in the book, but it's in galactic.

Skeppy was just a normal human, but after making the pact with Bad, Bad put a spell on him. Parts of him turned into diamond, protecting both his and Bad's lives. He however, is unaware of this. With the egg, he would just sit on it, the diamonds chipping away to make room for the vines.

Eret was cursed by the Wither Cult, giving them white eyes and a slowly deteriorating memory. Not sure what to do, Foolish dropped them off at the SMP. Sometimes they would dream about old memories from before the curse, but it was just glimpses so he could never tell what they meant. Once they were king, they made the Herobrine shrine subconsciously, not really sure what it was after. They also had a strange affinity of beacons and resurrection, some of their memories resurfacing when they tried to help Phil and Ghostbur revive Wilbur after doomsday. The reason people are more scared of their eyes than any other wierd eyes was because he generally looks like a normal human, but the wither along with their Herobrine origins creates an uncanny valley that people are shocked by.

Jack had red and blue irises before crawling out of hell, but after coming back the whites of his eyes also turned red and blue. He always wears 3d glasses so no one noticed, but he just thought no one cared enough to mention it. He also has a bunch of scars and burn marks that no one but him can see, therefore no one asks about them or thinks something is wrong, cementing the idea that no one cares about him.

Niki is a blaze hybrid (stole this from @/420technoblazeit) whose fire hair color changes based on strong emotion, something she bond with Tubbo for as a fellow shifter. A soft yellow in L'Manburg, brighter orange in Manburg, hot pink on Doomsday, a soul fire blue with the syndicate (which Techno hates), and a dead grey when she found out Wilbur was alive. She was also old child hood friends with Ranboo and Eret, leaving Ranboo for the SMP. Ranboo, unfortunatly, doesn't remember much more than her name. She also knows galactic from Ranboo, so she talks about her troubles to Shy the Enderman. She doesn't really know how to talk to Puffy anymore after Doomsday or finding out how she wants to protect Tommy.

Quackity can perfectly replicate someone's voice and, with a lot of effort, can completely change his form to another player. He also has very small yellow wings, too small to fly, so he almost always hides them. He used to constantly change his voice for jokes with Karl, Sapnap, and George, but he doesn't like doing it now in Las Nevadas, as he sees it as unprofessional. However, sometimes he uses when he visits Dream, changing his voice to people like George and Sapnap to make torture more effective.

In the In Between and Other Side, Karl actually looks like his old skin, or his natural state (the big purple one that inspired his sweater). But most of the time in the normal world, he looks human. With effort he can bring out the interdemential being thing, something only Quackity and Sapnap know about. The more he time travels, the easier it becomes to change, and he's even started defaulting to the other form.

HBomb is actually just a normal news reporter, sent to interview and record what's going on in the server, his first big story being the election. Upon Doomsday, the stress of seeing everyone alone, fighting, and disconnected, he ran away from the world, essentially becoming a cat lady. His undercover reporter persona is actually the cat maid. He eventually came back to the server to see how he could help after Doomsday, befriending Niki again and living with her in the underground city.

Techno is a piglin, so he's scared of soul fire. He forgot to tell Phil before he decorated the syndicate room, so he just suffers in silence. He also does better when around a lot of gold, like in the nether, and he feels drained and slightly weaker without it. Instead of just putting gold around the area (it would ruin his property value), he just hibernates. He has an emerald earing, like all of the syndicate, but his is a locket that unfolds into pictures of the syndicate.

Ant always wears a red hoodie, now ruined by the egg, that used to be Red's. On Red's death anniversary, him, Bad, Skeppy, and Sam would make cake and put flowers on his grave. He missed the last one because it was during the egg, but for a brief moment after Puffy killed him he saw Red. Red then promptly and bluntly told him to stop being a pussy (haha, cat) and that he shouldn't do all this just to get him back, one of Ant's motivators to make amends with the people he hurt while with the egg. Ant is also a shapeshifter, but can only turn into a cat.

Phil actually used to work under Foolish as a patron of life but then he had a son with the goddess of death, so his title was removed so he could be with her and he became an Angel of Death. Kristin noticed how sad he was after being released, so she gifted him wings. They were however, destroyed on November 16th. His chat also serves as messenger pigeons, which were used to send letters to Wilbur.

Connor is actually just a hedgehog who somehow befriended Schlatt. Even before the haunted mansion, Karl vented to him about his time travel troubles, not knowing he was a sentient player. As a hedgehog, no one really cares where he goes, so he goes outside the server limits to meet his friends from the haunted mansion.

Puffy is a distant relative of Schlatt, but instead of politics she went into piracy. With her mom, she went travelling the seas. One say, a storm came and wiped out her ship, her crew, her mom, everything but her. The reason she survived was because Foolish saw her and saved her. Unfortunately, Puffy hit hee head in the crash and doesn't remember anything.

Vikkstar is the equivalent of a big time celebrity, so of course his endorsement of POG2020 was a big deal.

Lazarbeam is literally just a ginger bread cookie.

Ranboo has actually met a lot of the smp before actually joining. He's met Niki, Fundy, Eret, Punz, and Dream at least. He also sees the inverted colors Enderman see. His suit was actually a gift from Eret before they forgot how to tailor. He got the crown from Techno after joining the syndicate, claiming he didn't want any syndicate members to look like trash.

Foolish came to the server most recently to check up on Eret, but he couldn't bring himself to leave again. When Puffy adopts him, he can't say no because he remembers saving her. His initial goal was to kill an ender dragon to claim the XD title and become a full god like DreamXD, but after realising someone already killed it he went into his totem if death phase. Upon meeting Eret, he got over it and they went on some silly adventures, Foolish now taking a more peaceful route.

Hannah is essentially a weaker George, as her power is tied to the plants themselves and not the entire server. She however has a lot more physical power because rose dryads like to fight because they have thorns. Since roses can be taken out a lot easier, she is essentially a glass canon. Also when around any plant, she can make it grow faster than normal.

Any guest on the server? Corpse, Pokimane, Lil Nas? They were all Slimecicle. That's how he knows where everyone is from, even outside of Las Nevadas. No one else knows this. He's also ancient, if he met Phil they would probably recognise eachother. There was an actual Charlie Slimecicle who was not a slime, but after being launched into orbit this Slimecicle decided to impersonate him.

Michael Mcchill is a sort of bounty hunter. He came to the server after hearing of all the crime, assuming there'd be a lot of bounties to collect. However, he soon learned that no one really cares if you commit a crime. He then took to reading news articles made by HBomb to see if there were any past open bounties. But after reading for a while about the server's wronguns, mostly Dream, he began to sympathise with them. And he's also a speedrunner, so maybe he could help with some bounties across other servers!

This was a very long post and i apologize, but it was so fun to finally write all these thoughts down! I hope you liked them! I can't even fit all the tags I want.

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

May I request a short story based on this idea please?

My idea is she has a grandmother that was a witch that worked for krolock making potions for him,mostly for Herbert's hair and stuff. Her grandmother died and willed all her things to the reader but the towns people feared the witch and was going to burn down the small witches home and farm but now they can't because reader has come and claimed the land. After krolock learns there is a new witch he sends Herbert to greet them. They can become friends first but Herbert can't stop thinking of the reader which he finds odd since he thought he was gay. Anyway the villagers get the courage one night, aka very drunk, and actually do burn the place to the ground. The reader is ran out of town after escaping the dangerous flames and rescued by Herbert. Maybe they end up as guests at the castle as they recover from burns and love begins to bloom. He would find out about the readers genitals when he helps with a bath that of course the reader was against at first but couldn't refuse.

Important! The reader in this is intersex but identifies as a woman; Their genitals are discussed; There is nudity (non sexual) ~3,300 Words This is my first time ever writing for an intersex character and I tried my best. If you notice anything offensive or inaccurate please tell me so I can change it! Also, I'm sorry you had to wait this long, please don't hate me! I have a hard time writing Herbert but I tried Warnings: non sexual nudity, discussion of reader being intersex, Herbert x intersex woman (Herbert is bisexual in this oneshot), reader being stuck in a burning building

Herbert hadn’t been able to contain his sigh when his father had sent him to greet the newest „witch“. Apparently the long lost grandson of their late friend had appeared and claimed the cottage and garden.

Herbert wondered how long it would take for the village to turn against this man too. He had to admit, it took balls to move somewhere where people had killed your grandmother for being a witch.

But it was of no significance to him. He just needed to be nice to him, so he would brew him his hair color. Maybe if the man was handsome he could also admire him a little. And if he got especially lucky he might even get a good lay out of it.

The leaves under his boots crunched while he made his way to the newcomer. It was a perfect evening. The warmth from a long summer day lingered but the air wasn’t stifling anymore. Through the green leafs he could make out stars twinkling, watching over the lone man.

As Herbert walked along the path under the moonlight the cottage just outside of the village came into view. The closer Herbert got the better he was able to see the garden surrounding the cute little house.

Plants were growing everywhere in thick bushes; moss and lichens were growing between the plants. Most flowers were closed due to it being night, but he could also spot a few open ones. The pale colors seemingly glowing in the dim light. There were mushrooms of all kinds and even the walls of the house were overgrown with well-kept twiners.

As Herbert approached the intricate iron fence he could make out your figure next to some blooms growing from thick stems. You were carefully touching the plants, strewing some powder onto the soil at the foot of the plants and watering them.

Herbert cleared his throat.

“Good evening Sir.” You gave no indication of noticing Herbert and he nearly called out to you again - maybe you were deaf - when your warm soft voice washed over him like a gentle summer rain.

“Good evening Herbert. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” As you stood from your crouched position and turned around Herbert got his first good look at your figure and he felt himself gulp.

Gods, this man had been crafted by the ones above themselves. Your posture, your figure, your eyes, your face, your hands, everything called out to the young vampire and he very nearly leapt over the fence to touch you. You cocked your head at Herbert and he eyed the strong column of your neck. Suddenly he felt like a newly bitten vampire once again. The sudden strength of the hunger in his chest surprised him and had him balling his fists.

“You know my name but I have yet to hear yours, Sir. I’m merely here to welcome you on the lands of my family.” He inclined his head and watched enthralled as you bowed to him and told him your name.

“I’d like to extend my condolences about the passing of your grandmother.” Herbert continued on, trying to get a reaction out of you before him and he noted with interest how your lips pressed into a fine line.

“Thank you, Herbert. That’s too kind of you. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a garden to tend to.” With that you turned around once again and crouched down in front of the next plant.

Herbert’s mouth hung open. How dare this… this guy treat him so casually? Why weren’t you scared of him? Why weren’t you intimidated by him?

And just like that you had him hooked. Maybe he wanted to get to know you better. Maybe you weren’t as boring as he thought.

After that first encounter the two of you fell into an easy friendship. Herbert would stop by whenever he needed new hair color and you would provide him with it in exchange for protection. The Krolocks made sure you stayed out of harm’s way and placated the villagers whenever your craftiness and knowledge got to be too much, to consider you a mere human.

Poor, stupid humans. As soon as someone who was more intelligent than the average person came along, they searched for explanations that didn’t take their narrow minds into consideration. After all, who would be willing to admit to the lack of knowledge that would expose the insularity of their mind?

He also came by when he was bored. Or missed you. Or wanted to see you. Or needed to hear your voice. Or wanted to confide in someone. Or had any other grain of reason to see you.

In conclusion Herbert came by pretty much every night and the initial awkwardness quickly gave way to animated conversations beneath the stars or, if it rained, under your roof.

Herbert’s flamboyant personality attracted you like nothing else ever had and when he confided in you about his attraction to males you hugged him tightly. He couldn’t see the way your expression fell while he buried his face in your nape.

You already had guessed but to have it confirmed hurt more than you thought. Sure, he assumed you were a male, but once he knew the truth all your hopes of him catching feelings for you would be for naught.

One late evening Herbert watched in rapt attention as your deft fingers mixed herbs and liquids to create the perfect shade of color for his hair. The way your fingers worked quickly made him think about just how talented your fingers were. Would they be as delicate and sure during other activities as well?

He quickly shook the thought from his head when you turned around and presented the hair lock you had colored as a test. A wide grin settled onto his lips and your eyes fell to his sharp teeth. What would they feel like, gliding along your skin?

You cleared your throat. “Is the shade to your satisfaction, von Krolock?” You bowed deeply and presented the golden locks to him in an exaggerated gesture.

Immediately he matched your proper tone. With two outstretched fingers he plucked the hair from your hand and examined it long and critically.

“I believe, my good Sir, that the shade will be perfect to emphasize the worth of my luscious hair.” Coquettish he threw his hair over his shoulder and fluttered his eyelashes at you. He held out the hair again and in an overly subservient gesture you bowed again, placed your palm beneath his fingers and placed a kiss to the back of his hand.

He let the locks fall into your palm and took back his hand, looking at it in mock offense. “Peasant scum! Daring to touch my divine skin!”

He rubbed the back of his tingling hand on his overcoat and both of you started laughing. He wasn’t able to shake the feeling of your lips and he balled his fist tightly. If only you’d touch him like that without joking!

You had turned around to put your herbs and utensils away and quickly touched your fingertips to your burning lips. If only you could kiss him like that everywhere!

That evening you parted with lingering looks and a long handshake. Neither of you wanted the time spent together to end. But alas, you were still human and needed your sleep.

When Herbert arrived at the castle about a quarter of an hour later, his father greeted him.

“Evening Herbert. What happened at the Witch’s? Did they need that big of a fire for something? It has been burning for at least half an hour now.”

Herbert turned to a window with rough movements. “What do you mean father?”

Krolock sighed. “There is a mighty fire at their place. You can’t see it from here, we have to go up two stories. The trees are blocking the view.” He turned to lead the way to a window with a better view.

Herbert’s voice was tight. “We didn’t light a fire.”

Krolock turned around so quickly his cape twirled dramatically behind him. His eyebrows had risen in concern and Herbert didn’t like the images of angry villagers and burning witches that crossed his mind. “Koukooooool!”

Immediately the servant came hobbling down a flight of stairs, grunting in answer.

“Koukol, you went to the village today. Did they talk about the witch?”

Koukol thought hard, scratching the top of his head and, finally, nodded.

“I whe. Ta-ta-talk o hu…”

Koukol strained his throat to get the words out, groaning in frustration when he was unable to formulate a word, much less an understandable sentence. His posture slouched even more in defeat.

But Krolock had heard enough and so had Herbert. He wasn’t one to usually use his abilities, seeing no need to, but as soon as Koukol had finished he had vanished to get to you as fast as possible.

Von Krolock softly patted Koukols Shoulder and smiled toothily at him. “Thank you.”

The servent perfed up immediately and went on his way humming. He had a whole castle too look after! He had no time for leisure.

Krolock sighed. Hopefully nothing too bad had happened. They had promised to ensure your safety and he would hate if he had to break his word. In addition to that he saw how happy Herbert had gotten since you moved into town. His son needed someone, who was able to meet him eye to eye. Someone to banter with and to confide in.

As Herbert appeared beside your home his stomach dropped to his feet.

A throng of villager stood a good twenty meteres away from your home, fleeing from the heat of the fire. There were flames everywhere. Your entire house was on fire and he could hear desperate bangs against the front door. Bile rose in his throat. No!

“Let me out!” He could make out your voice and everything in him tensed up at the desperation. He had to get to you. He had to safe you, he had to open the door, he had to touch you make sure that you were alright-hehadto!

He didn’t spare the villagers still lingering a single glance as he rushed through the burning plants and broke down the door. In the seconds it had taken him to get to you, your shouts had stopped and he felt a painful throbbing in his temples. If you were hurt… God have mercy on the villagers.

Once the door opened you practically fell into his arms. Your body must have leant against the front door.

You were unconscious and your pants had caught fire. He dragged you outside by your arms, shed his cape that was now burning as well and quickly patted at your leg until the small flames went out.

You didn’t move and he felt for your pulse with trembling fingers the rhythmic beating was the only thigh that helped him calm down. He took you into his arms and disappeared. He didn’t care if the villagers saw.

No, he wanted them to see. Wanted them to realize you had friends beyond human understanding. And if they hurt you again, he would have their hearts for supper on a silver platter.

The protests and shouts of the angry people didn’t even fall on deaf ears; they floated into the night sky and were immediately swallowed by the roaring fire.

Krolock watched his son, as he took you to a bathroom, shouting at Koukol to get water for the bath. The door closed behind you two. And the unever sound of Koukols footsteps faded.

Carefully Herbert laid you down onto the floor and touched your shoulder gently. “Sweetling? Can you hear me?”

When you didn’t react he gently placed his hand on your cheek. Nothing. Frustrated by his unability to do more than wash the smell of fire and the ash off you, he started peeling of his sweaty clothes and let the fall to the floor.

In the meantime Koukol had started filling the bathtub.

Herbert waited until the servant was finished, then he began taking off your dress-shirt. His hands trebled as he peeled the smelling clothes off you and he angrily wiped at a stray tear. He couldn’t lose you.

Once he had gotten the shirt off of you he eyed the white bandages tightly wrapped around your chest. His brows furrowed in confusion. Did you have an older injury? He didn’t remember you saying anything about it.

Well, he would take it off last and take a look at the wound.

Carefully in order not to bend your body into an unnatural position he started taking off your shoes and pants.

Once that was done he went for the bandages. He would leave your boxers on, maybe you would wake up in the bath. If you didn’t he still could take them off and wash you. But, and he prayed for the first time in his life, please wake up.

Carefully he started unwrapping your chest. With every layer he took off his confusion grew. He wasn’t crazy, was he? Did you…. Did you have breasts?

He forced himself to concentrate on getting you clean and conscious. This… this reveal, no matter how big, had to wait.

The last layer peeled away and he was left staring at your breasts. Those were definitely breasts. And they definitely belonged to you. Were you a woman? His head swam. No, he couldn’t think about this now! There were much, much more pressing matters at hand.

Taking a deep breath he lifted you up into his arms and settled into the bathtub with you. Carefully he shifted your positions until he comfortably leant against the edge. Then he leant your frame against his and made sure your chin stayed above water.

Your frame settled against his as if it had always been meant to be this way. If only you would wake up, he could die a happy man, having felt you in his arms. He snorted dryly. Yeah, as if he could die that easily.

He felt you stir and stayed as still as possible. You came to with a jolt. And he could feel some of his tension dissolve into the warm water.

The first thing you noticed was, that you were in a bathtub, with someone behind you. Naked. Looking down you realized your chest was uncovered and immediately your arms went to cover them. Nononono, who had seen you like this?

“Hello, sweetling.”, the hesitant voice of Herbert reached your ears and you turned your head looking at him over your shoulder.

“How are you feeling? Do you remember anything?” He watched the way your brows furrowed and had to hold himself back from kissing your forehead.

Your voice sounded hoarse, your throat abused by the smoke you inhaled. “I remember. You got me out?”

He nodded and both of you went silent. The most pressing matter had been addressed and now both of you were left to decide how to breach the second topic.

The tension was nearly palpable and if you moved too much you would bump against Herbert’s body, that fit against yours perfectly and oh god, what did he think of you now? He must think you were a horrible person for keeping this from him. He would never love you as you were… he…

“You are a woman?”, he asked softly, almost inaudible.

He practically heard your gulp and the tense line of your shoulders made him want to reach out and smooth his palms over them. God, why did he feel like this for you? Yu had lied to him… deceived him…

“I’m not… I’m… I was born both.”, you quiet voice soothed him. You were willing to talk.

“Huh?”, he answered intelligently. He didn’t want to say anything before you had explained. For all he could talk, he needed to make sure, to listen to you.

You still hid yourself with your hands but your shoulders dropped the slightest bit when you realized, that he had invited you to explain.

“I’m neither a woman nor a man. Well actually, I see myself as a woman, but everyone else sees me as a male because of my looks… I’m just too ugly to be a woman. At least that’s what I’ve heard.”

You felt Herbert wrap his arms around you, carefully staying on your stomach, in silent consolation. The quick squeeze of his arms told you everything he didn’t say in that moment. You weren’t to ugly to be anything you wanted to be.

“But despite having boobs and a… female part down below.”, you stumbled over your words, searching for the right way to describe your body to the man you loved “I also have … male equipment, so to say.”

“You’re a hermaphrodite!” You heard him exhale and his warm breath on your shoulder made you shiver. His arms held you tighter, growing more sure in their grip. The fact that he knew at least in some form about people like you somehow calmed you.

“You… you aren’t disgusted with me?” You hated the quivering of your voice. What if he decided he didn’t want you in his life anymore? What if he thought you were an abomination? Tears gathered in your eyes.

“Sweetling.” One word and all your tenseness faded. “Sweetling, I could never be disgusted with you.” He stalled for a short moment. “Would you… would you let me see?” He felt you stiffen again. “You don’t have to of course!”

He felt you leave his hug and held his breath as you turned around. Did you no longer feel comfortable? Had he overstepped? Did you…

You slowly, oh so slowly lowered your crossed arms and his eyes fell to your breasts. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks. But he stopped breathing completely when you stood from the water. Instead of leaving, you grasped the waistband of your boxers and began tugging them down.

Stepping out of them you let them fall to the bathroom floor with a wet splat.

You had turned your head to the side unable to look at Herbert’s face, when he took you in… took all of you in.

You drew in a sharp gasp when you felt his hands on your thighs.

Your gaze snapped downwards and you saw the way he looked at your most intimate part. The way his eyes were transfixed on your lower body made you feel hot all the way up to the tips of your ears.

His eyes, full of admiration, slowly traveled along your frame until he met yours.

As you saw the pure reverence in his expression all your insecurities faded. His eyes shone with emotion while he looked up at you.

“You are indescribable. Breathtakingly beautiful.”

You couldn’t help yourself as your tears began to fall and Herbert urgently tugged you down into the warm water again, hugging you to his chest.

“I… I thought you would be disgusted. I’m… I was so afraid of you hating me. I couldn’t bear it. I love you so much, I can’t lose you.”, you hiccupped.

His hand had found your hair and began petting you in slow repetitive motions. But upon your admission the movement halted. You drew back. Had you just said that out loud? In your relief the words had just dripped from your tongue.

“Oh no. No sorry. I didn’t mean to. I promise I won’t say it again. I know you are attracted to men and I know you…”

“I love you.” You came to a screeching halt.

“Gods, or whatever above, I love you. I may not know a lot of things. But this I know: I am attracted to you. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like. I love you.”

With wide, glassy eyes you held his gaze. Neither of you dared to look away. The moment was as precious as the first spring flower in your hands and you couldn’t risk to trample it by ignoring his eyes.

Cautiously you leant forward. Without hesitation he met you halfway. Your lips met in a kiss that was long overdue.

[unethical-gender]

For context, I wanted it to be that the start of every chapter would be George and Dream talking in prison and eventually it would be just one big chapter of every chapter starter plus more and then george leaves the prison but I never got that far so. Enjoy👍

------------

"Why are you really here?"

George barely registered the question. He was still drowsy, the events of the day failing to sufficiently wake him. He didn't even look up to acknowledge Dream; he knew exactly where he was, sat a few feet away, slumped against the wall, dressed in torn, faded, and burned orange fabric that marked him prison property. It was a comfort to George, but also made him sick to look at.

"I told you why I'm here," George finally replied, voice as tired as he was and barely heard over the roar and crackling of the molten lava feet away, burning his skin. It was a familiar feeling at this point, nearly comforting, reminding him of the times that prisons didn't exist here, times when the only worry was temporary pain.

"I don't believe that you just suddenly want to see me," Dream said, the audible frown in his voice hurting George more than he expected. "You don't love me anymore. Why are you here?" 

"I still-" George started, voice caught in his throat. He forced himself to look up, to meet Dream's gaze, unfamiliarly unobstructed. His grey-green eyes shone wet in the orange light. George sighed.

"I still love you, Dream. I can't just stop loving you. That doesn't mean I like the person you've become."

Dream scoffed, breaking eye contact and instead gazing at his few belongings next to him. "The person I've become?" He almost laughed. "George, I've always been like this. You just chose not to see it."

George tightened his grip on nothing, un-cut nails digging into his palms until his joints ached from the pressure. He let his hands go slack by his sides.

"You're lying," George said meekly, trying to lace his words with a confidence he couldn't muster. Dream cocked his head, smirking with venom that George used to feel protected by. Venom that usually wasn't for him; now it was. Dream scooted closer, George forced in place by the deadly heat behind him. Now Dream was only a foot away, so close that George could smell him. He didn't smell very nice, dirt and sweat replacing his usual scent of wood and smoke.

"I'm lying?" Dream asked. "Since when do I lie to you?" George swallowed, words forming and passing through his lips before he could think.

"He said you weren't supposed to be like this," George's voice leaked the kind of anger only found in a deep love, the kind of anger that burns white hot because your heart has been broken. Dream's smirk faltered, but only for a moment. Almost instantly he was staring into George's soul and searching for an answer.

"Who's he, George?"

✳✳✳

George stretched, a newfound liveliness in his limbs. He could wander for hours without tiring, he felt. He brushed a hand through his hair, dried stems and grass falling out, he had been lying on the ground. He temporarily removed his glasses to quickly rub his eyes of all remaining sleep, keeping them shut tight until he replaced them. Bright, eternally summer days made his head ache without the dark filter of his sunglasses.

He quickly rose, searching for something to do. Conflict quickly rose around him every day, and he only wished to live like he did before there were worries and wars and death. He just wanted to run through fields and forests, to inhale moist, woodsy air and sleep in shady mushroom patches. So, he decided that's what he would do.

He walked until he fell under the shade of a forest (a natural one, not one that had been planted by someone), embracing the sweet and heavy air. He hadn't taken time to enjoy himself like this in a while. He walked until the trees were so thick he was nearly blind. He removed his sunglasses, face light from the lack of plastic. He still squinted, light occasionally squeezing through gaps in the thick oak branches.

He sat, leaned against a tree, and brushed his hands over the ground. He looked at the thick carpet of moss, the rotting, broken logs nearby, the red and white spotted mushrooms that grew around him. He felt at peace, like nothing and no one could find him or hurt him here. It was a pleasant distraction from his normally prison-themed thoughts. He decided he needed to do this more often.

He wasn't tired at all, he even felt energized, but the thick air was like a blanket urging him to melt into the tree and the moss and close his eyes once more. Who was he to deny the forests whims, to resist letting his eyes rest for a moment and let his other senses take over?

The forest air, of course, had a different plan, filling his lungs like a drug and quickly luring him into an undesired sleep amongst the thick flora. The forest almost seemed to want to claim him as it's own. It wouldn't be the first to try.

His awakening was rude, sudden golden light flooding in and burning his retinas through his shut eyelids. He quickly covered his eyes, head already threatening to burst. He groaned. Why was there suddenly a light source in the once blackened forest?

"Hello there."

A voice suddenly made George jump. The voice was familiar in a way that made his stomach turn and his heart drop. It was a voice he knew was impossible to be hearing.

"Dream?" He asked, hoping to be wrong. There wasn't a reply for a moment, swaying trees and distant water filling the silence.

"Is something wrong with your eyes?" The voice asked. George swore it echoed, but that must have been a trick of his aching brain, surely.

"Yes, you know that there is just- where are my glasses?" George groaned, reaching one hand around to feel blindly at the surrounding ground. Dream's possible escape from prison was second to him in his list of priorities, regaining vision being a clear winner for first place.

Suddenly, cool plastic tapped the hand covering George's eyes, making him jump. He quickly grabbed them and put them on, opening his eyes slowly to adjust and looking forward, expecting to see a disheveled Dream standing before him. The sight there, however, made him jump and try to slide backwards, a small yelp escaping him.

That wasn't Dream.

Instead of Dream as George had predicted stood, no, floated, what looked like an older version of Dream, if George had to guess. He domineered in size, twice the size of a human proportionally, large gold rings floating and crossed in an x surrounding his torso, spinning slowly. His face was obstructed by a nearly familiar mask, a large "XD" replacing the usual smile. George knew who this was, of course. Anyone did. He just never thought he would ever be face to face with DreamXD, with God, in any of his lifetimes.

He wore little clothing, a skirt-like wrap around his waist, emerald green and falling to his knees. He wore a hooded cape, a matching green, buckled at his bare chest with an eye of ender, or at least a replica of one. He stared menacingly down at George, curiosity visible on the lower, uncovered half of his face.

"DreamXD?" George asked, half hoping his eyes were deceiving him, that this was some headache fueled delusion. XD cocked his head, an action George found familiar to Dream.

"Yes. That's me." He replied, voice echoing by itself and eerily similar to Dream's. George was still stunned, hands gripping at the forest floor.

"What is wrong with your eyes?" XD asked, drifting forward and leaning down a bit. George couldn't back up, forced against the tree, so he sat still and stiff, contemplating how to answer.

"I, uh, don't know exactly," George started. "Its just they're super sensitive to light. I need the sunglasses to see." He gestured to the obvious glasses on his face. XD looked curious at every word George said.

"So if its dark you can take them off?" He asked. George nodded slowly, somewhat worried about what XD would do. XD was moving his hands, George watching as he waved through air with a determination George couldn't understand. When his hands stopped he held them out, an item materializing in his hands.

He held out to George a large sun hat, brim wide enough to go past his shoulders and colored bright red, uneven white splotches decorating it. It was a mushroom hat, resembling the ones George was sat amongst. George took it cautiously, leaning forward to make room and gently placing it on his head. It fit perfectly.

"You can take off the glasses," XD said. George's hands moved a bit, but hesitated. Sure, the hat blocked a lot of light, but if it wasn't enough it would be painful. Then again, how was he supposed to refuse the requests of God?

Slowly he removed the glasses, squinting his eyes in expectation, waiting for the spikes of pain to shatter his skull. It never came. He blinked, able to see the forest clearly now, untinted and beautiful. XD moved in closer; he would have been looking George straight in the eyes of his weren't covered by a mask. George had a feeling he could see him anyways.

"Your eyes are different," XD remarked. George darted his eyes around, trying not to look directly at XD.

"Yeah, they're different colors. Always have been." George muttered. XD looked like he might reach his hands out to touch his eyes, but instead kept his hands to himself, still levitating.

"You have pretty eyes, George," XD said in a way that made Georges stomach flip. He now sounded almost exactly like Dream. The echo in XD's voice had faded, yet was still audible, a small reminder that he still wasn't human. He had sounded like Dream before, sure, but the reverb had muddled it to a point of no effect. With the voice changed, though, George couldn't ignore the familiarity.

George didn't respond, just sat in a stunned silence, searching for coherent words. XD didn't seem to mind, seemingly content with staring into George's eyes, transfixed in amber and blue.

"Are you okay, George?" XD asked after a minute of George's nervous gaze. George blinked back.

"Yeah, Dream, I'm fine," he replied before he could think about it. XD didn't falter. It was his name, somewhat, even if it was apparent that George didn't mean it to address him.

"Why are you here," George asked, hoping to move the subject off of himself.

"Because you're here, George," XD said. He kept the echo out of his voice the best he could, watching the way something in George's eyes shifted. "You invited me here."

"Invited you?" George searched his memory for anything he did that could have summoned God. Nothing came to mind. "How did I invite you?"

"You're very welcoming, George. You seemed like you wanted to see me."

George bit his tongue. How did he seem like he wanted to see DreamXD? Wait, he thought, I was thinking about Dream and the prison, wasn't I? Is that enough to draw God's attention to you?

He forced himself out of his thoughts and slowly tried to rise without moving forward. XD followed him up as he rose, maintaining "eye contact" (since George couldn't see the others eyes, he wasn't sure it could qualify).

"I think I need to go now," George said, searching for an out. XD stayed still.

"Why? You have nowhere to be. You're asleep." XD stated like it was a known fact between the two. It was not.

"Im not sleeping," George corrected. "I woke up. You woke me up." XD shrugged as if to say "If you think so, sure."

"If you think you're awake, prove it to me," XD said. The echo in his voice had returned. George almost mourned the loss.

"How am I supposed to prove im awake, I mean, I just am," doubt began seeping into George's statements. He was awake, he was sure of it.

"Do you think I'm lying to you?" XD asked. "Why would I lie to you, George. What would I gain from that?" George opened his mouth and shut it just as quickly.

"I guess that's fair," he muttered. "But how can I prove im awake? Like, pinch myself?" He tried without request, hissing at the sting.

"Do you doubt the power of your dreams, George?" XD asked. George faltered for a moment. You aren't supposed to feel pain in dreams, right? Then again, you aren't exactly supposed to have casual interactions with God either, but here he was.

"So what, I'm lucid dreaming?" George asked, still disbelieving that a dream could feel this real. XD shook his head.

"You're still underestimating your mind, George," he said, echo slowly fading until it was nearly gone. "You're powerful."

George tilted his head down, the brim of his hat sufficiently blocking his face from view. Why must he sound so much like Dream when complicating me? He thought. Does he know the effect he has?

"So," George started carefully. "If im sleeping right now, does that mean im just imagining you?" XD shook his head again.

"I'm just as real as you are," he said, startling George as he reached a large hand to brush fingertips against Georges cheek, making his face flush pink. "Probably even more real."

"More real?" George asked, not moving away from XD's touch. "What does that mean? How can you be more real than me?"

"You ask a lot of questions," XD remarked, bringing his hand back and away from George. "You're smart. You can figure things out." George frowned.

"Why can't you just tell me things?" He asked. XD shook his head.

"You're asking questions again," he scolded. George was about to retaliate when XD held a hand up.

"I think it's time you woke up, George," he said. George felt a part of him panic. This was the closest thing he had gotten to a conversation with Dream in ages. Well, a conversation that wasn't a tearful and angry goodbye.

"Wake up?" George asked, now incredibly self conscious about the questions he asked. "Will you still be here?"

XD smiled, lowering himself to the ground finally. He towered over George, over twice his height and powerful enough to probably crush George's head between his hands without trying. He was closer, though, close enough that George could see slight strands of dirty blonde hair poke out from under XD's hood when he looked far up enough.

"I'm always here," XD said. "If you want to see me again, you just need to want to see me. I'll know." George shook his head slightly.

"That doesn't make sense," he criticized. "So can I see you when im awake, too?" XD's smile didn't change, but the energy of it shifted noticeably.

"You'll just have to see, won't you George?" George wanted to protest again, but his eyelids suddenly were overtaken with weight and his mind was slowing.

"Wake up, George. You can't sleep forever."

George was awake, the forest dark as it was when he fell asleep, glasses sat beside him and-

Holy shit.

The mushroom hat XD had made him in his dream was sat upon his legs in front of him. It was real.

"Probably even more real," the God's words ringing in George's head. He was more confused than ever now, unsure if he had actually been asleep or not. Other than the hat there was no sign of XD, the hole in the forest roof nonexistent now.

He already felt himself longing to hear that voice again. XD had told George that if he wanted to see him, he'd be there. XD wasn't there. Of course, this only lead to one thought for George:

He can only visit me in my dreams.

George now hated his energy, his lack of tiredness, and wished for sleep once again. He wished to hear the voice that tied his stomach in knots because it was once a voice that whispered sweet nothings into his ear at night. He wished to see the closest thing he had to the arms that held him tight and lips that declared George to be claimed by Dream in one way or another. This was the closest thing to loving Dream again, being loved by Dream again, that he probably would ever get. 

DreamXD had told him that he couldn't sleep forever, but in that moment he had fully prepared to fall into a coma with no regrets.

[fishmongeringstudies]

sixteen is the age at which all things become impossibly hard, annoying, and beautiful

this morning, after upending the last ten days of my life in a big red cart and pushing it halfway across campus to the next six weeks of the same old shit i had the pleasure of watching someone move into the room across the hallway, and as their dad walked past me, carrying a bottle of detergent that looked like it had eaten the souls of four other bottles of detergent and a mega-kilowatt smile, it occurred to me with a strange sense of providence that i hadn't spoken face-to-face with an adult in four months. then i remembered that i was also an adult. then i had to go lie down.

the same things surprise me every day. the number of fingers on each hand. the way the streetlights click to life when the sky gets dark enough to eat the shadows on your arms. my age: a distorted number, like something made by a slipped finger on a wet phone screen. twenty. why not two? why not nothing at all?

summer is, increasingly, beginning to look like an exercise in distances. first there is the distance between my old dormitory and my new. if you cut through the parking lot in front of the stem of the mushroom and follow the path all the way to its end, underneath the train station and past the fringes of the college town we named after ourselves, you will find yourself in front of a set of three dark gray buildings. each building contains six apartment suites and each suite houses between five and six students. this summer, not all of them are full. but you can always count on college students to find a way to fill an empty room. with sounds, with bottles, with bodies. dead bodies. dancing, singing, texting bodies. we're a versatile bunch.

i have neighbors now. is this a bad thing? no. but i am trying to be a different version of myself, and in order to become that person i need to be left alone to fester like a bad wound on a fucked-up arm until the wound grows large enough that it envelops the arm and then the person, too, after which a period of thick wet silence will elapse, followed by some country music, and then-

the novel. this afternoon i sat down with a pen and a blank page in my notebook and made a list of my favorite stories. what is it about the way some people talk about other people that makes my elbows hurt? what causes the soul to shiver? i scratched bullet-points into the paper and stared at them until lines appeared between the dots, until the dots looked like constellations. then i walked the mile to target with a friend whose voice reminds me of the sound a clear glass vase makes when you rub it with alcohol. we bought some stuff. like pasta. and pasta sauce. and three knives.

to choose to write a novel is to speak to another person for a long, long time.

some questions from my notes this afternoon include: do i want a moving story or a story that stays in place? what are the parameters/where does the sandbox end? how dark? how much pain?

to choose to write a novel is to decide your head is a pleasant enough place to build a pillow fort. and i am going to build a pillow fort. what kind of pillow fort will it be? we do not know. how will we deal with the fact that after three months of growing towards the sun and occasionally screaming at it my eyes have been fried out of my head, like eggs except overcooked to the point of imperfection, and i no longer care to see what the light touches? we do not know. some people move between cities; others move between bodies, like shapeshifters without a place to call home. i move between being lonely to the point of death, and alone.

standing in front of the fresh produce section this evening with a lemon in one hand and a saucepan in the other, my friend smiled. first at the lemon, then, when she looked up for long enough to catch my eye, at me.

'this feels like adulthood, doesn't it?'

i put a bag of mandarins in my basket and laughed.

06.05.21

[withoneheadlight]

| a house (is a home) | (i). the keys | (ii). memories&herons | (iii). old dogs&inheritances | (iv). memorabilia | tinyplaylist |

~

The kitchen’s Steve’s favorite part of the house.

It has this odd shape. Trapezoid. “Fuck, Stevie, so goddamn weird”. Doesn’t make sense in a, on the other hand, perfectly rectangular house (or, well, it does but, they’ll only find out about that later). The cabinets are ceiling-high. The tiles of the wall white and cracked under the repeating pattern of light mint-green-stemmed, yellow-petaled lilies. The whole backdoor is painted on that same shade Billy calls Ripe banana dreams, both so terribly old-fashioned and fiercely cute none of them says a word about repainting it. There’s a wooden piece, built into the farthest end of the counter. It looks disgustingly juicy and mercilessly stabbed when they move in, but Billy insists on keeping it, and sanding, and treating, and varnishing it. Manages to get it back up on shape because “Better than anyone, darling you should know what a little touch of class can make”. And for more than two weeks straight the only goal of his life is to learn to cut vegetables at high speed because “I have to live up to this level of professionalism. Impress our most un-impressionable guests”

(And, to Steve’s surprise –and probably hers– when she finally deigns to pay them a visit, his mom is, in fact, pretty much impressed.)

He learns how to make good casserole. Tries his luck with Mexican and Italian. Fails miserably with Japanese. Will never-ever admit it but, he loves it when flour ends up staining every single surface, making the biggest mess around himself when he bakes. Steve knows why it is. It’s a shared feeling. Floats up till it reaches the ceiling and bounces back down to them, heavy with the warm smell of cooking pie and cinnamon. Tastes docile and tamed like “Maybe not so much vanilla next time. Whaddaya think, babe?.” Tastes savage and daring, like the overwhelming tang of freshly squeezed lemon lingering on Billy’s tongue, when he crowds Steve against the fridge and kisses him, nibbles a shuddering laugh out of him “How the fuck are you able to even think about putting your mouth near that thing, Hargrove?. That was––ugh. That was disgusting”, “Well you know me, whatever it takes to make you squirm” leaving Steve with absolutely no option but lick the sugary dough stain over his cheek to “Cover up that foul flavor” and maybe because he wants to make Billy squirm a little too. 

It’s a heart-warming, welcoming feeling. Like the vivid smells of green tomatoes and parsley and mustard sauce. Like the taste of love on Billy’s lips. The way he loses his breath when Steve kisses the sugary flavor into Billy’s mouth with his:

This place smells like home, tastes like home. Like finally, finally. Home.

It’s Billy’s favorite place, too. But Steve doesn’t think it’s just because of that. But also because maybe,

maybe.

He has also noticed that–

There’s this particular, particular moment. It happens around seven on autumns, right when the day starts to fade. It happens between six and six past twenty-eight on winters, and holds the sleepy cheeks of the newborn tulips on Steve’s garden till they fall asleep on springs, sun already sinking behind the horizon by the time both hands of the clock meet over the spiral of the eight, pointing towards infinity. And then grows bigger and bigger and bigger from there, flooding into summer: the golden sunlight seeping through the wide, double-paned window facing the backyard in an oblique angle, making the yellow flowers of the tiles look like they’re re-blooming in gold. 

It’s the moment the day turns into a fire. 

It’s their favorite moment in time. And in this particular, particular day of July, it happens at ten past nine.

Billy is making Spaghetti Carbonara. The kitchen is damp with the rich smells coming out of the boiling water. Mushrooms and oregano, black pepper and lime. A song is cooing at them from the radio, the beat of the drums a boneless memory of that one echoing around the quarry on faraway almost-night on a faraway July. Water rippling under the quiet sigh of the breeze. Trees cutting the liquid rays in asymmetric halves. 

Billy takes off the apron. Turns the stove down.

Reaches out to Steve, fingers wavering come, come, come.

To me. Come to me. “C’mon, Harrington. Do I scare you or what?“

He has this way of looking at Steve that makes the space between them narrow, narrow: the whole unknown world. And aseptic, non-lived-in flat in downtown Florida. This tiny, tiny town. A mysteriously-shaped kitchen––

“¿Can I have this dance?” 

Steve walks to him, takes his hand. 

––Their bodies, pressed flush. 

Inside his chest, Steve’s heart is running. 

(“Can I at least have this dance, before we say goodbye?”

Mazzy Star was playing. The corner of Billy’s eye felt wet where his skin brushed against the corner of Steve’s mouth. They danced till the daylight faded, till there were teardrops falling from the night sky.

“Billy, I don’t have to––” 

“Don’t, pretty boy. Don’t say it. I’ll make you stay if you do. And I can’t do that”)

They made lovelovelove on the back of Billy’s car.)

In this light, they fell in love, they fell apart. Ran away. Ran back. 

Steve nudges at Billy’s chest, makes him move backward till he’s far enough to tug, draw him in between their tangled arms, hands intertwined. Steve curls himself around Billy’s back, noses at the warmth trapped between his curls. He smells like BillyandSteve, like this home, like past, like future. Like us.

Steve whispers in his ear. Three words. Billy’s neck curves towards him. An instinct. Tickled by their warmth. Steve kisses the curve of his ear. Tugs the collar of his shirt aside, bites where shoulder meets neck and up, up.

“Easy, Prom King” Billy teases, grins at him tender and wild. Knows when to use the one that gets Steve every time “Or you’re gonna make me think we’ll become picture-perfect from this magical moment onwards. A bunch of kids. White fences. You know, the whole shebang” 

(Billy crashed the Camaro into a tree in the winter of two thousand and fourteen. Had left the house in a frenzy. Something happened Max wouldn’t talk about. But she was scared, so she had called,

“Find him. Please.. Make sure he’s alright”

When Steve found him, Billy was in the middle of the Brookville road, feet stumbling on the twin yellow lines, following them nowhere. So weary, so impossibly small like this: head hanging, arms wrapped around himself. A crooked shape, carrying the weight of the shadows the tall pine trees cast on his back.  

So unlike him. 

Steve stopped the car at his side, engine oozing steam, shaking in the icy mid-May air “Billy” he said. Low. Careful. Careful. Billy’s eyes looked wet in the moon-silver night, pupils blown, deceivingly calm, “What are you doing? This is dangerous” And Billy’s spine had bent even lower, forearms finding rest on the window frame. Leveling with Steve. Looking wasted, looking tired, but still, he flashed a grin at him, teeth-shark white, never going down if he wasn’t going down swinging. And Steve–– hadn’t known at the moment, but the blood staining his cheek, the screaming-purple mark around his eye.

Those weren’t from the crash.

 “I was sleepwalking, Harrington” he said, voice dry, laugh harsh. Shrugged “Waiting for a lucky strike”)

“What does it make you think that’s not what I’m aiming for?”

(When he took Billy to his house Max was already there. Had sneaked out. “Neil will kill you if he finds out,” Billy said and she nodded, white knuckles peaking red with how hard she was gripping the handler of her bike, and Steve hadn’t seen her cry before, not ever, but her eyes were swollen and wet and,

“Are you––”

“I’m alright, kiddo. You know me. I’m always alright”

And the lie sat heavy, between them. Two lies, covering the truth. Poorly stitched. But Max had called Steve for help, so that’s what he did. Help. Sent her back home. Took care of Billy’s face. Billy’s hands. Nodded at those same lies, let them do their work while taking care of wounds he didn’t know, back then, couldn't have been for a crash. Made him spend the night. 

Billy still hadn't woken up when Steve left the next day, leaving food and a note on the nightstand ‘I’ll be back soon. Stay’. 

Retraced Billy’s steps down the yellow lines splitting the forest in half. To find it.

The Camaro wasn’t done yet. Howled like a wounded beast under Steve’s touch, but stayed together all the way to Donny’s garage. And Steve paid for the repairs. Covered it all up. Max has said “His dad can’t know, Steve. Can’t know. If he finds out he will--” and steve was starting to put two and two together. To realize some billy was, maybe, running away from something. Someone. When he crashed his car.

Woke Billy up when the hands of the clock met over the spiraling infinity of the eight. Seventeen hours straight of sleep and still looking like he could use a lifetime. Told him “The car will be ready in two or three days. ‘Til then, you stay'' covered his mouth with his hand. Didn't let him complain “And If whatever happened last night happens again, you take it and you run. Back here. And you stay again, ok?”

Two weeks later, Billy showed up at his door. Lit him a cigarette. Offered to teach him how to fight.

“I cannot give you back your money, but I know you don’t need that”

Made him laugh.

They spent almost the whole summer together, after that. Some days. Most nights.

Wasting time. Fighting. Joking. Driving.

Falling.

No ‘what ifs’. No promises. Just,

“Leave the light on if you can’t sleep, pretty boy. If I manage to sneak out of the Old fuck, I’ll pick you up. Promise I won’t stop kissing you until dawn. Gotta make up for what you paid for that ca, uh?”

Because Steve was gonna leave. Wasn’t gonna throw a single glance behind his back.

That was the plan.

And he did. He did. But––)

He spins Billy out. Tugs him back. When their chests bump, his laugh bursts, bubbles up. Weightless. Happy. Because all that matters to him, to them, it’s between these four irregular walls now.

And God this, this, is Steve’s favorite part. 

(–ended up coming back running, hoping the love would re-stitch itself as he followed the road’s yellow lines. 

Hoping Billy was the one letting his light on this time.)

Because the sun’s gonna keep on shining. They can keep on dancing in here, in their weird trapezoidal kitchen (in their house, in their home), for as long as they want. Hearts touching. Lips brushing. Bodies swaying, spinning, cutting through the golden light. 

~

[awastelandheart]

💊: Have they ever dabbled in drugs? If so, what kinds? ; ✪: Have they ever let a rare opportunity slip them by? ; 🌙: Where is the most unusual place they’ve fallen asleep at?

                                                               headcanons

💊: have they ever dabbled in drugs ?   if so, what kinds ?

          yes !   Sebastian smokes weed daily or near-daily. Robin has one line about having cleaned Sebastian’s ashtray, but it smelled different so she wondered if she should be worried   –   that’s as close as concernedape can probably get to referencing drugs without turning his game’s rating up to T or whatever, so yeah. i headcanon Seb’s also dabbled in microdosing mushrooms   &,   when he gets older   &   lives in the city with a demanding job that he frequently throws himself into head first, experiments with some uppers.

✪: have they ever let a rare opportunity slip them by ?

          just after Sebastian’s 18th birthday he applied to a scholarship fund in the general interest of getting out of the valley. he only had a vague idea that he’d want to do something in a technical/STEM field as a career, so he submitted a quick portfolio of his coding   &   graphic work. he didn’t hear anything about it for quite a while so he assumed he had been rejected. Sebastian had just about forgotten he had even bothered with something like that when he got an email towards the end of the summer offering him an interview with the scholarship committee. the wording was just insinuative enough to understand he was basically being offered a full ride on the back of some small town aid fund. the possibility of actually getting out of the valley   &   pursuing his dreams very quickly overwhelmed him though   &   he had impulsively threw the email in his junk folder, never to be thought of again until years later when he realized how stupid not at least thinking about the opportunity was.

🌙: where is the most unusual place they’ve fallen asleep at ?

          it’d probably be really weird for the farmer to realize Sebastian hung out in their house long before they had moved in, but at the time it was abandoned   &   he had never considered the someone used to live there or that someone may live there again someday. the location of the farm house being just slightly out of town was perfect for him   &   Abby’s hangout spot   –   the fact that there was even a private path from his own house to the plot of land made it even better. though he did frequently go there with Abby most of the time, there were plenty of instances where Sebastian went alone in order to get away from people. it’s not his fault the decrepit bed was just comfortable enough to nap on. 

[meleuki]

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name? 

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho. 

2. How old are you? 

I am an age. 

3. When is your birthday? 

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah. 

4. What is your zodiac sign? 

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour? 

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story). 

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf. 

8. Where are you from? 

Australia. 

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time. 

10. What shoe size are you? 

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about? 

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have? 

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass. 

14. Are you psychic in any way? 

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song? 

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie? 

IT (2017), or, Scream. 

17. Who would be your ideal partner? 

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do. 

18. Do you want children? 

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding? 

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy. 

20. Are you religious? 

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 

yeah like 4-5 times. 

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 

nope, I don’t plan on it. 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 

I haven’t. 

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

I’m not wearing any. 

26. Have you ever been famous? 

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 

I would, but only for the reach of my music. 

28. What type of music do you like? 

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed. 

31. What position do you usually sleep in? 

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side. 

32. How big is your house? 

one story, medium size ish. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? 

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho. 

35. Have you ever tried archery? 

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried. 

36. Favourite clean word? 

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word? 

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 

Maybe a little over two days. 

39. Do you have any scars? 

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

‘scuse me what? no, never. 

41. Are you a good liar? 

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? 

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one. 

44. Do you have a strong accent? 

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though. 

45. What is your favourite accent? 

Russian, or German. 

46. What is your personality type? 

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love. 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue? 

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 

Innie. 

50. Left or right-handed? 

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left. 

51. Are you scared of spiders? 

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh. 

52. Favourite food? 

Chicken noodle soup, fight me. 

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne. 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up. 

55. Most used phrase? 

��Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word? 

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? 

No, I don’t. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself? 

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself. 

61. Do you sing to yourself? 

bitch yes, all the fucking time. 

62. Are you a good singer? 

I like to think that I’m okay. 

63. Biggest Fear? 

Losing my ability to see. 

64. Are you a gossip? 

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend. 

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair? 

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 

bitch, HAHAH, nope. 

68. Favourite school subject? 

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert? 

Smack me right in the middle. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it. 

71. What makes you nervous? 

A lot of shit, not gonna lie. 

72. Are you scared of the dark? 

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me. 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish? 

yes, and I fucken hate it. 

75. Have you ever started a rumour? 

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 

people call me a mum? So, I guess? 

77. Have you ever drank underage? 

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance. 

78. Have you ever done drugs? 

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho. 

80. How many piercings do you have? 

Just my ears, but I want like four more. 

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds. 

82. How fast can you type? 

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard. 

83. How fast can you run? 

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me. 

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind. 

85. What color is your eyes? 

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times. 

86. What are you allergic to? 

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach. 

87. Do you keep a journal? 

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip. 

88. What do your parents do? 

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids. 

89. Do you like your age? 

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry? 

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly. 

91. Do you like your own name? 

I don’t hate it. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan. 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind. 

94. What are you strengths? 

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated. 

96. How did you get your name? 

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.” 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? 

NAh. 

98. Do you have any scars?

 I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread? 

blue and beige. 

100. Colour of your room? 

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess. 

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

[rwenvs3000-19]

Bugs N Shrooms

Recently I have found myself becoming addicted to going for walks in the Guelph area. But not just any type of walks, I have a certain category on what I'm interested in and what I want to see while on my mini adventures. With taking a whole slew of courses at the university I have found my academia and hobbies mixing into the same pot. The past courses that have had the most impact on me have been the insect diversity and biology, and the forest health and disease courses offered in the environmental sciences.

My magnetization for each of these classes mainly stems from having the knowledge of what something is (scientifically), through knowing the Latin name of an organism it tests my understanding of a certain type of insect or fungi. The second interest that comes more through my own interpretation of these subjects which is different for both bugs and mushrooms.

Some of my pinned specimens I’ve collected over the years.

In insects I see beauty, symmetry, utility, and art. When I go for walks with bugs on my mind, I bring a net and vials to catch and pin them. While pinning insects is more viewed within the lens of a scientific practice, I treat it more as an art form to preserve their animalistic actions and to show the full beauty of the specimen. I have also had my fair share of pinning for scientific purposes while working at the DNA barcoding facility here on campus. While that job did make pinning more or a job than a hobby, I still love to observe and catch insects, like the five-year-old that I am in the summer months, but when it comes to fall my scope changes to something a little less motile.

A praying mantis I found while in Preservation Park.

My mushroom hobby has only recently started to sprout, pun intended. Along with the forest health and disease course, I also blame my sister in part for getting me on this mycelium train, due to her knowledge when going for walks with her back home in past years. During the spring and autumn months of the year is when it is prime mushroom hunting. While my knowledge for this type of organisms is at a novice level, I still like to photograph and increase my knowledge pertaining to them. In a very few cases, with a correctly identified species that I know is edible, I have eaten some of my foragings (time for the obligatory; I don’t condone or encourage the consumption of mushrooms that have been picked in the wild without complete confirmation of which species it is). My fascination by mushrooms also is view at the medicinal purposes and historical uses that they had. Like the fact that Ötzi the iceman, one of the most well-preserved mummies had a species of mushroom found on him and is known to be an antiseptic.

A bear’s tooth fungus (Hericium erinaceus) I photographed and ate.

Ötzi the Iceman’s medicine kit. Source http://www.iceman.it/en/equipment/

While my fascinations are a bit unorthodox and it is hard for me to go on just a “normal” walk, I have surrounded myself with people that also share these views or support them. Recently, my significant other purchased me a mushroom identification field book along with another book with IDing, facts and other interesting tidbits. So if you’re ever interested in going off the beaten path and getting lost looking, photographing and observing bugs and shrooms, I'm your guy!

A bug I photographed while at my cabin in B.C.. Do you think its a wasp, bee or fly?

Sources:

https://www.nytimes.com/1998/12/08/science/lessons-in-iceman-s-prehistoric-medicine-kit.html

[rocketrobinprints-blog]

March 28, 2019

It’s officially Spring Break week for me so I’ve been taking the time to focus myself on some projects and get things settled around the house. Among those projects is getting my plants settled and getting ready for the growing season!

Our apartment has nearly all South facing windows, and a South facing balcony, so I decided I wanted to turn our balcony into a food garden using containers. I started some seeds (minimally successfully) back at the end of February for early Spring crops and then later for a spread of flowers. 

My kale seeds came up easily, and so I transplanted the four best seedlings into larger containers. After growing a little more in front of our big window that opens out to the balcony, I moved them outside. It’s still getting pretty cold at night, even as we’re starting to have some days in the 60s. We’re still having frost warnings too. But Kale loves it! I have one in a 10″ terracotta pot, one in a mushroom plastic container, and one in a gallon milk jug out on the balcony, and after the temperature dipped down, the plants look even more happy and resilient than before. 

The spinach, not so much... From the seeds, I only had 2 of 8 sprout, and of those two only one survived transplanting. I put it outside with the kale, but the cold seems to have withered it significantly. However! I have a volunteer spinach plant that is doing fantastic! How do you get a volunteer plant, Kecheri? No idea! Last year I dropped lettuce seeds into a glass coke bottle just for fun and the lettuce grew as well as can be expected. Then I pulled it out, used it, and put the bottle away somewhere. Then this year, I happened to leave the bottle I assumed was empty sitting out while surveying my different planting containers for this years garden. Well, a few days later, something sprouted in my SUPPOSEDLY EMPTY bottle! It’s been growing very nicely since the bottle makes a sort of miniature greenhouse, and the leaves are pretty spectacular! It’s definitely a spinach plant by the shape of the leaves. I have no idea how it got there, but I’m definitely not complaining. So that spinach plant  has continued to grow really well outside on the balcony and started filling out the little stem of the bottle. I’m not sure what the effect the confined space will have on it’s growth, but we’ll have to just wait and see. 

Also successful is the German chamomile (the kind used to make the tea) seeds I bought in February. I’ve had close to 100% seed germination and the little stalks are looking pretty strong. I have some sprouted in my seed starter, pending a transplanting into a more permanent home, and some started in a mini greenhouse I made from a plastic clam-shell salad bar container. The ones in the salad container are doing particularly good, look strong and healthy. I’m excited they came up so quickly and so successfully, but I’ll have to figure out what I’m doing with them as e enter warmer weather. I don’t think they take particularly well (according to some google searching) to transplanting and would rather be planted in their final containers later in the season, but we’ll see! I still have plenty of seeds so I can always do that once the weather is warmer and I’m ready to do more work outside. 

To no surprise, the catnip I planted in the seed starter and a salad bar container greenhouse like the chamomile has sprouted fairly successfully as well. Mint plants are particularly easy to grow and spread, so I’m not too surprised, but as this is the first year I’m trying to grow catnip, and my first year with a cat, I’m excited all the same. 

I’m growing a number of other herb plants as well this year. In addition to the chamomile and catnip, I’ve picked up some starter plants from our small, local plant nursery. I have Italian oregano and a rosemary that I’ve transplanted into gallon milk jug containers, and a lavender still waiting to be re-homed. As much as I use spices in my cooking, the herbs are a must. (Even though I can get good herbs at the spice and tea shop where I work, nothing beats fresh.) Once weather gets a little warmer and I can start moving things outside, I think the herbs will really take off. So far, they’ve really been thriving in the big window. 

I’m also focusing on growing vegetables this year since we’re in such a nice sun situation here. Already I have some potatoes that sprouted in our cupboards growing pretty well in five gallon buckets. My crop last year ended up rotting out after we got so much summer rain, and I’m not entirely positive the buckets have sufficient drainage. The first year I grew potatoes and had a really successful crop, I had mixed my soil with a lot of moderately sized rocks, which I didn’t do last year or this, so we’ll have to see how it goes. Good news is that if these rot similarly, I know how to correct the problem and will still have plenty of growing season to correct the problems. 

Vegetables I have seeds for this year are cucumbers, zucchini, broccoli, cabbage, and bush beans. Some of the seeds are a little old, so I’m unsure about germination success, but others like the cucumber, zucchini, and beans are new. My mom is moving houses this year and has offered to lend me her self-watering planters for this summer, which will be great and I think will be enough room for one of these big vining plants. I also want to try my hand at tomatoes in buckets, but haven’t taken steps towards starting them yet. 

I still have our living blue spruce Christmas tree outside on the balcony. I picked up a couple 15″ pots, one of which I plan to transplant the spruce into. Then, I can transplant my avocado tree (that I started from a pit two years ago) into the spruce’s current pot, and stick something else in the avocado’s pot. 

I’ve gotten into researching and trying out regrowing plants from kitchen scraps this year too. I regrew a bok choi from the base in January or February, but killed it by harvesting leaves too quickly and not actually planting it in dirt. Even so! It lets me know that I can grow a bok choi NEXT time with some precautions. I regrew and transplanted carrot tops for the carrot greens, and those have been growing really happily in the kitchen since planting. At the moment, I’m going to try and regrow some leeks, and be sure to transplant them when new growth comes up. Growing from scraps is pretty exciting because I’m really into sustainability, and have been since I was a kid, and limiting food waste by replanting and growing more food is excellent. 

Speaking of limiting food waste, I also have a compost going in the corner of our balcony. Eric’s sister gave me an empty, locking-top kitty litter plastic bin that I’ve been throwing shredded paper scraps, exhausted dirt, and food waste into for a few months now. It needs to be turned, and is pretty full since we eat mostly whole foods and generate a fair amount of scraps, but I think it’s doing what it’s supposed to, which is super exciting! It doesn’t smell much, and the food does seem to be breaking down. My mom has kept a compost since I was a little kid, and aside from the lack of grass cuttings that always made up a lot of her compost piles, my little kitty bucket compost looks like proper compost! I’ve been adding it into a few of my plantings already, like the potatoes that are heavy nutrient feeders. I think when I have the proper planters, the compost will really come in handy. 

Some background here, my mom is a big gardener and I’ve been helping her in the yard and with the vegetable garden since I was a kid. We were part of a neighborhood sustainability club that focused on community beauty through gardening, sustainable practices, and environment friendly projects and events like Sweep the Creek. In high school, I helped to found a gardening club at my school in senior year, and we dug up a courtyard to install a vegetable garden to be used and maintained by the home ec and horticulture classes. I’ve always had strong beliefs in the value of food gardens and I have a significant love of plants in general. SO the fact I have the opportunity to take advantage of all South facing windows has been thoroughly utilized and my indoor plants have thrived through the winter. Now that it’s almost warm enough to star utilizing the opportunity to use a take advantage of a South facing balcony, not obscured by trees and the like? I am itching with excitement to start laying the garden out in my small space and planting things. I really want it to be successful, and we’ll just have to wait and see, but I have a good feeling about it. 

April and May are really when planting season starts where we are, so I’m jumping the gun kind of significantly, but once the weather warms up and starts staying warm, I will really be able to launch into this project. 

Stay tuned for more updates and some pictures! 

-Kecheri

[dead-night-harringrove]

Upside Down Headcanons:

Gonna tag @kingbillyharringrove because the two of us have talked in depth about this before, and @paladin-cleric-mage because they requested me to tag them! Love you guys. Lots of this will be me babbling about cool facts too because I love biology so much.

The most commonly accepted and seen headcanon- the Upside Down wildlife (with the possible exception of the Mindflayer) are a form of semi-sentient plant evolution. That being said, I'm now going to break down the different plant aspects of wildlife I have developed and would like to share, as well as habitat, time cycles, and weather.

Parasitic Plants

I would like to bring to your attention Rafflesia Arnoldii, also known as the Stinking Corpse Lily. It has a putrid, decaying flesh scent and produces the largest known individual flower in the world. "It is parasitic on members of the genus Tetrastigma (in the grape family, Vitaceae). It has no roots or leaves and most of the time lives unobserved inside the woody stems and roots of its host." (Source) Also, it looks like this:

I can absolutely see the Democreatures being evolved from this beauty. In their larval stages, they would have to have a host to survive(as seen with Will, who was the host for what was probably Dart) There are many different types of Rafflesia that look very similar but are smaller however, so that's food for thought as well.

While we have not seen much in terms of the actual Upside Down (which is both a shame and a crime), it is easy to assume there are more living variants to the ecosystem than just the three we have been shown. It is, after all, an entire realm parallel to our own. And so, I would like to introduce you to Hydnora Africana, another unique parasitic plant, that grows in the roots of Euphorbia caput-medusae, a succulent. It's undetermined whether or not it has roots or a stem, though it's makeup lends it more towards having one root system and no stem. It's appearance is also fascinating, and it's far too easy to imagine some monstrous creature based off of it:

The fine white threads when in first bloom are just wide enough for beetles to get in through, but may find it difficult to escape through. After a few days the "teeth" pull apart so that the beetles may escape and distribute their pollen. (Source)

There is also the plant Orobanche fasciculata, or Clustered Broomrape. They are endangered in many states, including Indiana! (Source) "Clustered Broomrape (Orobanche fasciculata), also known as Yellow Broomrape, has mostly 5-10 long, slender, 1-flowered stalks rising from a short, trunk-like stemusually 2-6 inches (5-15 cm) long. It occurs in the midwestern and Plains states." (Source) It is also nicknamed the Cancer Root, and it's a parasitic herb.  The species has both male and female reproductive organs, and is a perennial(meaning it comes back each year.) (Source) It is parasitic on the roots of Ambrosia and other members of the Compasitae. It is one of plants I have based herbivorous creatures off of, prey animals that act as a food source for Rafflesia and Hydnora variants. The reasoning for this is because of its medicinal uses. "The root is pectoral. The chewed root has been used as a dressing on wounds and open sores. An infusion of the leaves is used as a wash on sores. Forms of the plant that are parasitic on sweet sage roots have been used as a treatment of cancer." (Source) It looks like this:

Fungi

With the spores that are constantly in the air of the Upside Down, and the often-times toxic nature of fungi, it's all too easy to picture variations of wildlife as evolved sentience from them as well. Here are some good contenders for potential wildlife!

Hydnellum Peckii, or the Bleeding Tooth Fungus, is a creature I've actually drawn and designed before! Similar to the Demogorgon, it is a humanoid omnivore. "Scientifically known as hydnellum peckii, the young bleeding tooth fungus’s thick red fluid oozes through its tiny pores, creating the appearance of blood. The underside of the cap has tooth-like spines. As it matures, the mushroom’s pale pink centre becomes dark, almost black, in colour... The bleeding tooth fungus is a mycorrhiza fungus, engaging in a symbiotic association with the roots of a vascular plant. The fungus receives fixed carbon from the host and, in return, improves the host plant’s mineral absorption." (Source) It looks like this:

The Bleeding Tooth Fungus creature is a stealth hunter, lying in wait completely still. The blood colored fluid is also scented like blood, luring in unsuspecting prey for the creature to strike quickly and effeciently. It is not built for speed but rather strength and quick movements.

Armillaria mellea, also known as a Honey Mushroom, is a parasitic version that colonizes dead or dying plants, and will kill living hosts. It has an enzyme that gives it bioluminescence, and colonized plants where this fungus is present are known as Foxfire. (Source) It looks like this:

Creatures based off of these fungi would loan themselves to bioluminescence, in either a total glow or perhaps something with design, such as species patterns.

Bioluminescence

This one is purely self-indulgent and festures heavily into an AU I've had in development for months and talked about at length with @kingbillyharringrove and @wickedlittleoz for being a rare jarringrove au.

I like to headcanon that there are enzymes that exist naturally in the water of the Upside Down, and when ingested and entering the bloodstream have a reaction with white blood cells that cause a bioluminescent reaction. I like to headcanon that this is why, despite the darkness of the night, it is never truly dark. There's always a dull glow at the very least.

Day & Night Cycles

I love the idea of the Upside Down having a day time, and I now feel ROBBED knowing that the original concept art had considered it! I like the idea of the Upside Down having a Red Sun instead of a sun like ours. During the day, the world os illumimated in a reddish glow and colors appear distorted to what we are used to. The plants tend to have more bluish purple tones during the day.

The dusk and dawn times are brilliant and full of life, with all the glowing beasts and fungi bursting to life in the first hour after sunset and right before sunrise. The late night period is the darkest, when things are either sleeping or hunting. Carnivores have evolved so that their glow is hidden, patterned like the flora surrounding them. This helps hide them from prey animals who might have eyes and flee.

(Early concept art for the Upside Down)

Weather and Habitat

Now aside from the storm surrounding the Mindflayer, we don't have any real basis for the weather in the Upside Dowm aside from stale and still. My own headcanons include a few other phenomena including:

Acid rain storms. It's a world of death and shadows and decay. Acid rains fit in beautifully with this ideal.

Extreme heat waves, especially during the summer months when many of the creatures travel deep deep south or high high north towards the ever-frozen poles. Alternatively, the summer is when the heat-based creatures come out from hibernation or migrate back from their position at the equator.

Speaking of the equator, much like our world it's considerably warmer than the rest of the planet. Unlike our world, it's literally uninhabitable by the rest of the planet. It's a scorching barren wasteland with extreme volcanic activity and large pockets of gas below the surface of the earth that frequently boil over and explode. The gases are deadly to breathe in even for the native creatures.

Sand and glass storms. Sand storms are prevalent on the outskirts of the equator, where deserts line the center of the globe. Glass storms are closer to the center of the equator, where freak lightening and rapid heat rising keeps the sands crystalized and when the wind catches them and cools the molten sand rapidly, it turns into glass. It's not fun.

The Ocean

This one is fair game, and honestly? Not one I've put too much development into because the possibilities are wider than we can even imagine. I mean, hell. Our OWN oceans provide otherworldly horrors on a daily discovery basis. What would the Upside Down have to offer?

The only thought we've really put into it is @kingbillyharringrove and I decided that the deepest part of our own ocean was a connector to the Upside Down's. When it comes to the oceans, our worlds overlap consistently.

[aurorajay]

I love this idea! I've definitely been getting more experimental with food and drink over the pandemic. For example...

WITH LILACS!! (Very proud of my recent huge batch of simple syrup!) If you just want the recipe for lilac syrup, scroll straight to the bottom.

However I'm also going answer all the questions, since I have been planning to play around more with underused local ingredients. So in this ideal world...

1. Fresh/dried pawpaw! I recently learned these fruit trees are native to my area, though wild ones are now rare. That was a huge surprise because I'm Canadian and I thought they were more subtropical, but I'm juuuust within the northern tip of it's range. I've yet to try it, but I've heard it compared to mango, which I love.

2. Creamy duck and mushroom soup. I already make this one, though I often have to settle for creminis, and would prefer a variety of local wild mushrooms. The couple times I've been able to get my hands on some it really brought it to the next level!

3. Chili with wild rice and/or corn chips. I currently use standard grocery store ingredients, but pretty much all of them can be grown locally in the summer and canned/stored dry for use in the cold seasons. I've never tried the rice that's native to where I live, but it's long been a staple of indigenous cuisine and it's on my list of things to check out.

4. Fresh baked bread ☺️ With butter and homemade raspberry jam. Or maybe blueberry. There's plenty of berries to choose from here!

5. I love making mulled wine and cider for my friends, and while grapes and apples grow here, it does require a bunch of imported spices. If I had to choose something without, maybe cedar tea with honey? While I haven't tried it myself yet, I'm a big fan of evergreeny flavours, so I suspect it would be right up my alley.

6. LILAC LEMONADE. This is already my signature drink for spring/summer parties, and it's quite easy to make. Yes I knoooow, lemons aren't native, but you can grow them in greenhouses and in pots. My mom actually has a potted one that fruits every year! I can't really say the same for the sugar, but hey, we said this was an ideal world, so let's assume it's produced ethically and sustainabily in this scenario.

But. Back to the LILACS. They're one of my favourite flowers, the smell is heavenly, but they're a short-lived seasonal experience. Enter simple syrup! Because it turns out, like many flowering trees, lilacs are edible! You need to be sure they haven't been exposed to harmful pesticides, but other than that you're good to go. Once you have the syrup, it can be safely stored in the fridge for at least a few weeks, or frozen almost indefinitely and brought out to mix with drinks whenever you like. It's quite nice in a gin and tonic, but my go-to crowd pleaser is the lemonade.

So here's my recipe:

1 Cup white sugar

1 Cup water

2 Cups lilac blossoms (Less precise than the other measurements. I use very generous cups)

Optional: 3-4 berries or other colourant. Left alone, the syrup is usually a light brown, with a muted tint that reflects the colour of your lilacs. I've successfully used blackberries, blueberries, and plum skins in small amounts to add a rich purpley-red colour without changing taste, which then dilutes to bright pink in my lemonade.

Snip off several bunches of lilacs, then rinse thoroughly to remove bugs and dirt. Gently shake the water off and lay them on a towel to dry while you prep. (It may be hard to judge how much this will yield until you've done it a few times, but I pile mine into an 11" mixing bowl and find this works out to roughly 8 cups of individual blossoms.)

Remove the blossoms by hand or with a small pair of scissors, leaving as little stem as you can. It's tedious, but worth the effort to keep the bitter green bits out of the mix.

Add the water to a pot on high heat and bring to a strong simmer. You can go full boil just keep in mind it shouldn't stay there for the next steps.

Add the sugar and lower heat to medium. Stir continuously to avoid burning any sugar at the bottom.

Once the sugar is fully dissolved, stir in the lilac florets plus whatever you add for colour, and bring heat down to low. Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes.

Remove from heat and allow to steep (like tea) for up to 8 hours, remaining covered. This is flexible, but I suggest at the very least to let it steep until it reaches room remperature, and not to go over a full day, as it can increase bitterness beyond a certain point. I like to make mine first thing in the morning and come back to it around dinner.

Pour the syrup through a fine mesh strainer and into a clean vessel. Use a spoon to aggressively squeeze out every last drop of flavour from the remaining mush.

To store, I recommend corked/capped bottles for the fridge, and sealable plastic containers for the freezer. I find old yogurt tubs perfect for this. Remember to leave room for expansion! Filling only 3/4 of the way is generally enough.

And this is the rough ratio I use for the lemonade:

750 ml Lemon juice (equivalent to about 15 lemons)

1 L Lilac syrup

2 L Water

I tend to wing it on this part and adjust to taste, so you may want to play around a bit to find the balance you like.

And playing around is half the fun! This method can also be applied to pretty much any foraged edible flower, such as cherry blossoms, magnolias, violets, etc. Just make sure to do your research if you try a new plant so you know it's safe.

Solarpunk Food

Let's do a little thought exercise about food. Diet culture makes us isolated while the commodification of food pushes global food trends instead of regional variation. But we're solarpunks, right? So we're all about imagining a better future. Let's imagine a world where we've healed our cultural relationship with food and are sourcing things more locally.

Think about where you live right now. Think about the kinds of things that can be raised or grown in your area. Then start to think about what recipes could be made for the following social events. We're going to start small to make this more manageable, ok? Do as many or as few of these as you feel up to doing.

In this bright sustainable future full of local ingredients:

What snack are you bringing to game/movie night?

What soup do you make for a sick loved one?

What's your go-to potluck recipe?

What treat do you welcome a new neighbor with?

What hot beverage do you share in fall/winter?

What cold beverage do you share in spring/summer?

How did that feel? What did you come up with?

Maybe these recipes can be worked into solarpunk stories. Maybe they can be made into a little cookbook. Maybe locally sourced ingredients are inaccessible to you right now, but are there any recipes you could start practicing anyway?

[jeninthegarden]

The expanded herb garden

Herbs

We forgot to discuss herbs.  I am full up on lavender – 45 plants, a field. We will plant no more lavender on this property.  It smells great and looks great. I cook with it occasionally, mostly with lamb, but it can be used with beef or pork just as you would use rosemary.  Disappointingly, although the lavender is planted just yards in front of my bee hives, the honey bees showed no interest whatsoever in the lavender blossoms.  No lavender flavored honey here.  Too bad because I went through a phase of putting lavender into my coffee with honey, chilled and served over ice. It was very refreshing.

Rosemary and thyme never seem to survive the winter, or more precisely the spring thaw, in the herb garden, so maybe it’s time to start planting them, en masse, elsewhere. Who wouldn’t like to have a rosemary hedge, or a carpet of thyme?  When I plant them this year I will give more careful consideration to where else they might thrive.  We cook with them in almost every dish we eat for dinner.  They go with all meats, and eggs, and beans, and mushrooms and soups. I never grow enough to harvest and dry it. Although, every other year or so I try to bring some indoors in a pot and the plants typically die by Valentine’s Day, on my kitchen counter.

The Egyptian walking onions can go back in the herb garden, but I ordered 30, so I can put some in the orchard, where they will be free to walk, and in the large bed on the front lawn where they will also have room to walk.  They are an incredibly useful plant – the white roots and green stalks can substitute for scallions, while the topsetting bulbs can be used like shallots and the curling shoots on the topsetting bulbs are like garlic scraps.

As I mentioned previously, the chives are destined for the orchard. They tolerate shade so they can be planted close around the tree trunks, although these saplings won’t create much shade for a few years yet.

And a tarragon plant I had for several years did not survive transplanting, so I ordered a new one from Burpee.  One plant is quite enough since we only ever use it in chicken salad or tuna salad.

Lovage.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before.  I planted some lovage (a perennial, cutting celery that is apparently more closely related to carrots) at least 10 years ago, in the herb bed, and it came back year after year.  It is very strong tasting so it really only goes into soup. And this past summer I decided it is too tall (6 feet) to be growing so close to the house.  It obstructs the view.  So I divided it and moved it around.  I’m waiting to see if it comes back this year in any of the places I transplanted it.  It clearly does not need very good soil – the soil in the herb bed is rocky and full of clay. It is so resilient I feel obliged to grow it.

Mullein.   Fuzzy Mullein is a medicinal weed. It is indestructible.  I have seen it growing on railroad tracks.  It is used to treat asthma and respiratory complaints.  You can make tea from the blossoms.  I just like the shape and texture.  The first summer we moved into this house, in 2004, a single, stray mullein sprouted on the back edge of the property, just out of reach of the lawnmower.  And the next year I found little mullein seedlings in the lawn nearby and moved them to safety in the flower bed. And ever since, I’ve been moving them around, culminating in a giant mullein I settled in the great hugel in 2019 which in 2020 grew to a 4 foot in diameter, rosette of green velvet leaves that put up an 8 foot flower stalk as thick as my wrist. They are so hardy and dramatic looking there will always be room for plenty of them in my yard.      

Oregano is everywhere now, as is the lemon balm. Ironically, we rarely use either in cooking, even the oregano because we have a large container of dried oregano that just never runs out.  But, also ironically, the honey bees really like the blossoms on both of these plants, and these plants bloom more than once per season.  I am suspicious that, even though the articles I’ve read say bees are attracted to the color blue, honeybees prefer white or green blossoms to anything else.

Cilantro and borage are two annual herbs I never have to plant again.  They self-seed and come back every year, all over the place.  I’m not one of the 4-14% of the general population to whom cilantro tastes like soap. Cilantro is one of those few tastes that I did not grow up with and therefore have a very clear memory of the first time I ever tasted it. It was a totally new and unique taste and I really liked it.  It tasted effervescent and fresh and it tastes like the color green. It has to be eaten raw.  Borage is a cucumber flavored herb that also has to be eaten raw, but also very young because it develops spines. If it flowers, pretty little blue, star-shaped blossom clusters, then the leaves are too stiff and prickly to eat. But the blossoms are edible and have the same great flavor, and look nice in salads or as garnish.

I’ve been rather unsuccessfully growing mint all these years. It is a weed and it really should flourish. But in 2014 it died out entirely from a black spot fungus that infested the shade side of the herb garden. I had to treat the soil with neem oil for several years to be rid of the fungus.  Now, as a precaution, I bury any penny minted before 1976 (because the old ones were totally copper and copper spray is a cure for lots of plant funguses) in the shaded herb bed.  The past few years I have replanted the mint, along the patio wall where it has limped along. And then, this past summer I found it is growing wild in the left back corner of my property, at the edge of the great hugel.  

I have two large clumps of hyssop in the hugel already, so no need for more of that. It has great, purple blossoms all summer long, the bumblebees love it, and the honey bees ignore it. It is “Anise” Hyssop but I have never yet attempted to eat it.  I think it is used for tea.

Milk thistle is also happily established in the hugel and I will have to watch it and make sure it does not spread.  I originally planted it because it has a large taproot that can be roasted like a vegetable, but I have not yet tried to eat it.  It is very pretty, about a foot high with distinctive holly-like, green and white striped leaves, and a purple bloom.  

I’m trying to overwinter the parsley in the garden, and I even have a row of root parsley (which has a strong taproot that grows to the size of a small carrot) overwintering – parsley is a biannual.  We eat lots of it.  It goes into a lot of dishes, but I also like making chimichurri sauce, which is parsley pesto with lots more garlic. It goes well on grilled chicken or steak.

Sage is a hardier than rosemary and thyme.  It lasts 3-4 years in the herb garden but is always small.  So this year I will plant two patches in the hugel.  

Nasturtiums, of course, are in my top five all-time favorite plants to grow. The leaves and blossoms are edible. It has a fresh peppery flavor but also a succulence. The plants are excellent companion for lots of different vegetables and I plant them everywhere.

Have I babbled about basil?  I have discovered that basil does best in part sun part shade.  It can be heat sensitive and needs water.  That is why it is recommended to plant it under tomato plants.  There are so many types of basil to choose from. I like purple basil. It has a stronger smell than green basil.  I like Thai basil; it has a stronger, more licorice flavor and stands up to heat (both BTUs and Scovilles) better.  I like lettuce leaf basil, with leaves like bib lettuce, big enough to wrap cheese and bruschetta into basil leaf tacos.  And then there is holy basil, an herb used more medicinally, in tea. It has a stronger, smokier flavor, like the lapsang souchong of basils.  So, which basil did I choose? Choose?  Trick question -there is no choosing.  They each have a completely different use, so I have to have them all!

And from the boundless basil, we will now digress into pure flights of fancy.

Green ginger, that’s its nickname.  Its proper name is wormwood.  It is used to create absinthe (no idea how and no intention of attempting it).  But it is flowering perennial – “feathery grey-green foliage and bright yellow flowers” - so into the great hugel it goes.  It is supposed to be quite bitter raw, and it is suggested that it be used in aromatic bitters.  Medicinal qualities are dubious. Most articles insist that it is NOT a hallucinogenic, and that it IS somewhat of an anti-inflammatory.    

Angelica, a biannual that looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace, but with a thick, celery-like stalk, and in fact is a member of the celery family.  It likes total shade. It reportedly has medicinal qualities; the Chinese variety of it is known as Dong Quai (Angelica sinensis), a stimulant. I’m not getting that variety.  I am planting Angelica archangelica (Holy Ghost), of Norwegian origin. It is another purported anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal.  I have grown it in the past just to fill up shady spots.  But I have not yet eaten it.  Its flavor has been likened to juniper berries. It is suggested to be used to: “flavor fish, poultry, cooked fruits, soups, or stews, while its stems can be cut and prepared like asparagus, chopped and stewed with rhubarb and apples, minced in preserves and marmalade, or candied”.

Anise.  Why, since I have anise hyssop, would I need to grow anise?  It is yet another member of the carrot-celery-parsley family. Medicinally, it sounds a lot less dubious than some others.  It contains manganese and iron. It is anti-fungal/anti-bacterial. It sooths and prevents stomach ulcers. It is an anti-inflammatory. And it is a tasty spice used in sweets and pastries.  Right now, I like crushed anise seeds on top of my expresso or cappuccino. Anise Hyssop is more bitter and smokier/menthol tasting, more suited for tea.

Fenugreek.  This is a new one that I encountered at our farmer’s market this summer.  I ended up stir-frying it like an Italian escarole/broccoli rabe, and stewing it in a curry sauce like spinach.  It’s sort of the texture of spinach and, although it is supposed to be slightly sweet and nutty in taste, I found it to be like a mildly bitter oregano.  In theory the seeds taste like maple syrup. Medicinally, it is purported to lower blood sugar and cholesterol and help skin conditions.  It belongs to the bean family of plants.  

Caper bush. Capparis spinose is the blooming bush commonly called “Flinders Rose”, which is interesting because caper berries look a lot like large rose hips. You typically eat the flower buds pickled.  The plant is a perennial that belongs in a rock garden. It is also a hybrid of several other distinct species in its family. It belongs to the Brassicales order of plants, and is related to mustard and cabbage plants. There are no known medicinal properties.  It’s perennial, so hopefully I only have to plant it once.  It tolerates poor soil and drought so it can be planted where a lot of things can’t.  We cook with capers regularly. I have even pickled nasturtium buds as a substitute, so I’m very interested in the real capers.  And I like pickled caper berries in my martinis.

Sesame.   I like tahini.  I like sesame seeds toasted and sprinkled on yogurt.  A flowering plant first domesticated on the sub-continent of India, it is the world’s oldest seed-oil crop.  It purportedly can lower blood pressure.  It is an annual that prefers dry, hot weather. So I will plant it in the raised garden bed this year. An added advantage of that location is that it is close to the bee hives, and the flowers of the sesame plant are supposed to be very attractive to honey bees specifically.  I have doubts, since the pictures I have seen all show big, tubular flowers that are purple.  I think they are going to be more attractive to bumble bees than to honey bees.

Black Cumin.  Otherwise known as Black Seed, it is rumored to have almost as many miraculous health benefits as marijuana.  But none of those claims are scientifically proven. But then again, no financial interests are served by promoting naturally existing medicines that can’t be patented and sold for lots of money. I just eat the seeds for their flavor.  I like toasted cumin seeds on melted cheese, in my cereal, and on buttered toast.  There are two different plants referred to as “black cumin”.  I am planting Nigella sativa.  It is a member of the buttercup family along with delphiniums, clematis and hellebors. This is a historical spice – seeds were found in a Hitite(!) flask in Turkey dating to 2000 BC. It is a flowering annual sometimes called “Love in the Mist” and the plant looks a lot like dill or comos to me. It is quick growing and is advised to be sown every three weeks mid April through mid June, and then again August 15 and September 15 for continual bloom.  I think I’m more interested in a consolidated, early harvest and maybe a second fall planting to allow it to self seed for next year.    

Feverfew.  Also a member of the aster family, but much prettier, and more compact.  Someone in my garden swap group traded me a feverfew for some mullein last summer.  It was lovely (coin sized, white, daisy like flowers) and the honey bees liked it. Supposedly it will self-seed.  So I’m waiting to see if it comes back.  It is used medicinally to treat migraine headaches.  I don’t suffer those so for me it is purely ornamental (and pollinator friendly). Maybe it ends up in my honey and adds to the relief from pollen allergies by adding head-ache relief.

Crocus.  A flower, yes, but I bought the giant fall blooming variety from which the stamens are harvested (with tweezers) and dried into saffron. We use it in risotto and paella. And this time, I carefully planted it in the orchard, unlike the hundreds of crocus I have planted in my front lawn that spring up every spring only to be eaten and re-eaten by deer any time they get taller than an inch.  And because they are fall blooming I am concerned about avoiding planting over them in the spring, or letting weeds completely overtake the spots where I planted them, so with each clump of 10 crocus bulbs I planted one, large daffodil bulb so I will have a daffodil flag marking each spot in the spring that I can replace with a permanent marker in the summer.

French Sorrel: I have two large, perennial patches of it, but other than the first, tender, spring leaves, it is fit for nothing but soup; I must resist the temptation to add it to salad

And, of course, I forgot to mention a couple of additional herbs I decided to grow. I really do not wish to make my own medicines, so there are some heavy weight medicinal herbs I’m NOT growing.  But there are a couple more culinary herbs I am going to attempt to grow - attempt is the operative word because they are annual and tropical.

Culantro - not to be confused with Cilantro (soapy tasting, Mexican parsley). Culantro looks like dandelion leaves, grows in a rosette and supposedly tastes like a mix of sorrel, cilantro and arugula.  It is biannual and pungent enough to stand up to high heat cooking and stewing, whereas cilantro is used raw or just to finish or garnish a dish.  Culantro figures in Vietnamese and Cuban cooking and pairs well with dishes that include beef.

Roselle - is Indian Hibiscus.  It’s perennial in the tropics. It grows 4 feet high. The stems can be used as a jute substitute in burlap or rugs. The buds and flowers can be used as a natural red food coloring or dye, they have a sweet and sour flavor and are used to make chutney and a wide variety of hot and cold beverages. The leaves are cooked and eaten as a spicy, peppery spinach. They hold up well to heat and are used in curry dishes and to season bean dishes.

Shiso - is that flat, basil like leaf with a serrated edge that often appears as a garnish in your sushi order.  It has a very delicate cucumber, lemon and licorice flavor.  Excellent with raw or cooked fish.  A relative of mint and basil, it is suggested you can substitute it into any cocktail that calls for mint.  Doesn’t hold up to heat so well.  You can blend it for salad dressing, or dipping sauce for tempura, and you can make raw shiso pesto to serve over fish.

[juliakwinto]

Patterns of Memory: The Mushrooms

Mum said we shouldn’t go to the country side this year. She told Dad that some people did their own independent tests and that the level of radiation is very high in the Eastern Poland. It’s all because of Chernobyl.

You can’t see radiation but it came to us in the big cloud. I remember that it rained and Mum said we have to stay home. After it stopped raining, she took me to the doctor where there was lots of kids in the big queue. It was for the medicine. When it was our turn, they gave me a small cup with thick dark liquid and the nurse said Drink it.

It was horrible and there was no water to drink with it. It burned my throat and I couldn’t breathe. I started to cough but it was making it even worst. I felt like it went into the wrong hole but it didn’t. It burned all the way to my belly.

Mum didn’t get it as it was only for kids and pregnant ladies. I don’t understand what it does with radiation, maybe it burns it out, but it made me cough for a very long time.

Sometimes it feels like there is no air and I have to use inhaler that Mum got for me from a friend. It makes it better but I still can��t run without losing my breath.

Dad said that it will be good for me to be in fresh air. We should go as we normally do. They had many long conversations about it the kitchen. I couldn’t hear what else Dad said but in the end Mum agreed to go.

I like going to the country side in the summer. That’s what we always do. There is a big lake and forest, and even a real bog. When the weather is nice we swim and go sailing, and after it rains, we go to pick wild blueberries, cranberries or mushrooms.

Dad takes me to the bog and we walk around very carefully. You can feel the bog gently moving under the layer of moss. It’s like walking on a soft duvet. I’m not scared, Dad showed me how to walk and not fall in.

Wild cranberries look like someone spilled them by accident. Red little dots on green moss. No bush, just the fruit on a thin thread. They taste sour but I still like eating them uncooked. Local women who pick cranberries, tie white fabric to the trees. Dad says that when you stay, at the bog, as long as them, you get confused from the big gasses so the white fabric helps them find a way home. Mum doesn’t like that Dad takes me to the bog but we don’t stay long and my Dad knows what he is doing. He can even start a fire in the rain. He showed me which wood will burn wet.

But mushroom picking is the best. Dad wakes me up early and we put on our wellies, take a basket and Dad’s Swiss army knife. We must wear hats and long sleeves because of ticks that fall down from trees. I had a tick in my arm once so we take no chances.

The forest is cool and wet in the morning and that’s when you find the best mushrooms. I know names of some of them and it’s a really fun to look for them. They are like soldiers: you want to look for Generals but you also pick all Privates you can find. Some mushrooms always grow in groups and some appear solo. Generals are always solo but they are often accompanied by tall soldiers standing somewhere near by so you got to watch your step and look very hard to spot their brown hats. Sometimes they are really well hided under fallen leaves or in a deep grass.

I also know how to recognise poisonous mushrooms. There is a red hat one, with white dots but even baby knows it’s not good to eat. But there is also a very poisonous Death Cap that when young looks like a nice Parasol Mushroom. It’s really impossible to tell them apart. You can die from eating a Death Cap so you have to be very careful. Adult Parasol Mushrooms are larger and their caps have light brown pattern, and a bit larger gills. Also the ring around their stem is loose. Dad taught me all of this.

This year is very good for mushroom picking. Every time we go, we bring back full baskets of very large and healthy generals and soldiers. Not as single bug in them or even snail nibble. Perfect specimens everywhere you look.

We find entire armies and sometimes we have to leave behind some. The best was when we found an entire meadow of large Parasol family. There was at least 25 large hats standing on tall legs in the grass and all perfectly healthy. I couldn’t believe my eyes. You can fry Parasols in bread crumbs and Dad says it tastes like a stake. They don’t dry well so whatever you pick, you got to fry and eat same day.

Mum is not happy about all those mushrooms and she is definitely scared of Parasols. They are not Death Caps. I told her but she insisted we don’t eat them. It’s not normal. They are full of radiation. Please, at least, don’t feed Julia with it. In the end, Dad agrees to throw away Parasols but he keeps the rest for drying. I’m not happy about it and I really don’t get how the radiation is supposed to be inside the mushrooms. Looking at Mum, I feel sad and a bit scared.

The mushrooms hang to dry in rows on stings. The smell is strong and they gently move in the wind. The entire length of the wall is covered with this defeated forest army. Mum keeps shaking her head: We are not eating this at Christmas either.