#I also did not expect a hitman plot

[heichou-dancho]

FFVII Rebirth thoughts (Spoilers for everything)

I reemerge having finished Rebirth after four weeks and 92 hours in-game playtime. That’s an incredibly short but also massive amount of playtime for me, Yakuza 0 took me a year with pauses. I’m still reeling after finishing chapter 13, and since all my FF buddies from the old days are long gone, I’ll just vent here. I enjoy reading the reactions and thoughts of other players, so maybe someone else does too?

This post is full of spoilers and Shinra fangirling, but it’s about the whole game:

Shinra:

First, somebody on the team that wrote material for the Turks and Rufus must be some Shinra fandom veteran grown up with 20 years of fanon. Just Elena as a whole, Rude getting her that ice cream, Rufus in the Gold Saucer harassing fighting Cloud for fun, Dark Star not only obeying Rufus but also Tseng. Rufus complaining that Tseng is being overprotective… (faints) So much crack and shippy moments, I was grinning like an idiot.

(Is crack fic even a thing anymore? It feels like they’ve gotten rarer)

I expected maybe three or four scenes with the Turks, maybe less for Rufus. AND THEN SQUARE SHOVED THEM IN WHEREVER THEY COULD WITHOUT DERAILING THE PLOT. Elena was given so much room to breathe. Same for Rufus. Those little moments with Darkstar. I’m over the moon.

Okay, Rufus, so your father got stabbed, and the first thing you did after that was recording some motion-capturing and dialogue for a Turk recruitment hologram-video-thingy in an abandoned facility? It makes zero sense, but it’s my favourite protorelic mission and I’ll happily add it to my headcanon as a sign that Rufus gave Tseng his okay to recruit more Turks.

(The real answer would probably be automatically generated AI shenanigans, but that’s not very exciting.)

Viceroy Saruf. Just … Rufus, you’re such a cheeky idiot and I love you. Is there any faction in this world you’re not manipulating from the background? I can’t shake the feeling that being the man in the shadows suits you more than actually openly running the company.

Tseng and Reeve were great, I would love more little moments like that, where the Shinra folks just interact outside of action scenes and dramatic moments. The talk Tseng had with Reno and Rufus in Remake after the Sector 7 collapse hit the same note for me. I want more Reeve in part 3.

The scene between Tseng and Aerith at the temple made my eyes misty, but I wish it had been longer. Tseng keeping it short and abruptly leaving to "make a report" was perfect, and I know Cloud being so cold and cutting Aerith off fits his behaviour, but something about the timing just felt off.

I was surprised that Heidegger would take a bullet for Rufus. For President Shinra, absolutely, but Rufus? Hmm… This makes great fanfic material. I’ve read a fanfic before that tried to reimagine the Shinra executives (even Palmer) as more realistic people, and I found it to be really interesting, but then I’m a weirdo with plot bunnies in my head that involve a younger President Shinra, his wife, Veld, Vincent and the older Shinra execs.

I’ve never been a fan of Hojo but his R re-imagining is one of the few that doesn’t work at all for me. OG Hojo was far more unsettling. R!Hojo is just your typical mad scientist, I just can’t care about him, which is a shame, because him taunting Aerith in Remake with how he dissected Ifalna hit me hard.

I still haven’t quite grasped why Rufus is so obsessed with the Promised Land. It probably all comes down to wanting to be more successful than his father, right? I’m probably forgetting or mixing up details from Remake, Rebirth or the OG here, but I assumed that Rufus would outright dismiss it as a fairy tale.

Apparently there is a Midgar DLC for Power Wash Simulator. Square Enix, where is Hitman: Tseng and a version of Yakuza where I can play the Turks dealing with dumb crap doing missions in Midgar? Give us Shinra fans something, I'm still waiting for the EC version of Before Crisis. And I don't even like gacha mobile games. >:(

General game thoughts:

The open world is fantastic, I want to live in Gongaga or Kalm. So pretty. People online seem to hate the Gongaga map, but the soundtrack and the jungle theme made it work for me. I found the gliding parts in Cosmo Canyon far harder to navigate.

Shinra Manor is terrible with Vincent being it’s only redeeming part. The actual mansion looked great (the portrait of President Shinra was a nice touch) but the upper levels being inaccessible and turning it into another lab dungeon was boring. Same for the box throwing mini-game.

Dio the archaeologist turned body-builder is great, but Shinra knowing about the keystone and just not bothering to use it when President Shinra was looking for the Promised Land is a weird plot hole. It would have been a lot easier than trying to convince Aerith to come to them. There were some other little details like that, that bothered me but it’s a blur now.

Remake Barett made me into a Barret fan, Rebirth Nanaki into a Nanaki fan. The writers are genius when it comes to rewriting these characters from the OG. I’m not really bothered by Cid not being grumpy and swearing all the time. Him reminiscing about Ifalna was cute. Vincent using his old Turk skills (and having some lingering loyalty to the job?) was cool. Really looking forward to seeing how they’ll handle Lucrecia, the one character in FFVII I'm so conflicted about.

I’m still confused about Aerith’s death scene, especially the cuts where she’s lying in her own blood and then isn’t. I understand that she’s dead in her current reality, but is the scene without blood (and Aerith "waking up" in Cloud’s arms) Cloud’s hallucination or just a different reality? I’m also utterly confused by how many Aeriths we’re dealing with. The Aerith and Cloud we’re playing with and the sleeping Aerith (and Cloud) from the dimension where Zack lives are one and the same? It’s tying my brain into knots, and not in a good way. That’s why I usually can’t stand stories involving elaborate time travel loops or parallel universes.

(Man, why doesn't Tumblr allow spaces between paragraphs? I hope your eyes aren't bleeding)

I first played the OG as a young teen. Cloud’s mind being fractured and hallucinating was a neat bit of storytelling back then that I hadn’t encountered in video games before. Twenty years later, I’ve dealt with loved ones who are ill but refuse help, and known plenty of people who have some form of psychosis or schizophrenia. Whilst I would never seriously compare Cloud’s problems with rl mental illnesses, I found the scenes where he sees Sephiroth and no one else, or is completely out of it hard to stomach. Interacting with somebody who has hallucinations (even "harmless" ones) or paranoid thoughts is unsettling at best, nightmarish at worst. The group trying to passively bear it and keep things together rings very true (especially Tifa) but I’m surprised that even Barett or Yuffie aren’t trying to confront Cloud about his behaviour at least once.

(I tried to format in html, but it somehow looked worse. I'm old. This is how Vincent must feel like every day.)

Dyne, Myrna and Tseng talking to Aerith at the temple had me tearing up, and I lost it at Aerith’s "date" with Cloud in Ch. 14. Hoo boy, I know Aerith stalling off the inevitable just for a little time, was the game having a very direct conversation with the player about what’s going to come, death and how we deal with it. But to me personally, it was more about how one gets caught up in trauma and repeat it over and over in your head, mulling about the point of where things went wrong and what you could have done to prevent it. I know it doesn’t fit, but that’s what my weird brain made out of it. Also Dyne’s and Aerith’s (at the temple) speeches about how they deal (or didn’t) with grief and trauma hit me hard.

Damn you, silly anime action game, you really shouldn’t affect me this deeply, but then a lot of fiction hits me harder than it used to.

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Homicidal Liu Headcanons

I’m gonna be so real with y’all, I hate that he’s called that. Early Creepypasta naming conventions were so dumb. Not even delving into the character aspect itself, it was all just [violent adjective] [character’s name] or [character’s name] the killer/butcher/slayer/balltwister/etc.

Also for the sake of my own sanity I’m going to clarify this right now, my Liu does NOT have DID. Sully does exist, but not in the way most people think. I don’t have anything wrong with DID Liu as long as it’s done correctly, I personally will not be going that route for my Liu.

Anyways here’s Liu headcanons have fun

Expect canon typical dark topics

Died when he was 22, is now somewhere in his late 20s

Not as buff as Jane is, but still has some heft to him. About 5”8 when he’s not slouched over a laptop

Plot twist, he’s NOT Jeff’s brother

No I’m being so serious they aren’t related biologically or through step-sibling stuff. They have zero familial connection

However. They were college roommates

Speaking of, Liu was a computer science major. He’s nowhere near the level of skill that Ben has (granted, Ben basically is a computer) but he’s still pretty damn good at it.

I mean, how else is he able to single handedly run a dark web redroom with an untraceable bank account that deals with heavy traffic on a daily basis? He knows what he’s doing and he does it well

He honestly feels kinda bad for not hanging out with Jeff more. They weren’t exactly friends in college, but Liu never hated the guy. Though sometimes he did find Jeff annoying

He just has a lot of complex feelings about Jeff now considering. Well, everything

Took way longer than Jane to get over his grudge with Jeff

He eventually relented after Jane got annoyed with his bitching talked some sense into him

And compared to Jane, he actually hangs around Jeff in his free time

When he has free time. Which is rare

The red room and hitman service him and Jane run take up almost all of his waking moments.

And when he’s not going out and ripping a guy’s spine out or monitoring the payments while Jane eviscerates a guy, he’s usually too drained to do anything besides hole himself up in his room

But in the very exceedingly rare moments that he’s feeling social and has the time, he’s found around Jeff

Jeff is deeply fascinated by the red room service and often asks Liu questions about it. Most of the time Liu would rather not talk about the work he just got done doing, so he forces Jeff to change the subject

Him and Jane definitely have chronic pain, Liu has chronic tired on top of it

Bro hasn’t had a full 8 hours in like a decade

Somebody get this man a fucking nap

Honestly even if someone did convince Liu to step away from his work. He still wouldn’t sleep. On account of the nightmares

And his sort of uninvited body guest

Compared to Jane’s possessions (thanks to the botched resurrection from the [REDACTED] cult touched on in Jane’s post), Liu’s are not only much more frequent, but much longer

I’m talking he’s got some wayward ghost in his body more often than not

While Jane is more susceptible to full possessions that take over her entire being, Liu mainly deals with having too many consciousness inside his body at any given time

The upside: he’s still able to be in control of his own actions and body most of the time. The downside? They won’t shut up

Screaming, crying, generally horrible things yelled at him from inside his own mind. Y’know, cause pretty much every ghost within a 50 yard radius is a murder victim. Probably even one of his victims

He never gets the same ghost more than twice

Except for one bitch

Yeah. That guy

Liu’s not even entirely sure that this guy was murdered on the property, certainly not in the timeframe he’s been here

It calls itself Sully

Sully, compared to every other ghost Liu has had the displeasure of hosting, keeps fucking coming back, and way overstaying its welcome

The other thing: Sully likes being along for the ride whenever Liu is working

Sully’s fully capable of taking over Liu’s body whenever it wants, and it does so pretty often whenever Liu has to go out and do the hitman shit

At first, Liu hated it. Mainly because he was worried Sully would get him caught or do something that jeopardized Liu and Jane’s safety

But the more Sully took over, the more Liu noticed that it seemed like Sully knew what it was doing. Like it’d done this before. Like it was just as if not a more skilled killer than he and Jane were.

Sully was also one of the first ghosts to show up when both he and Jane started experiencing the possessions

Liu is far more used to having Sully around now that whenever a different ghost is around, Liu misses it. Mainly because he’d rather hear Sully’s mocking and fuckery over the same shit murder victims scream at him

Sully’s personality leaves much to be desired. Compared to Liu’s more calm and calculated demeanor, Sully is brash, loud, and vulgar.

Sully often suggests depraved things Liu could be doing to victims, and when Liu has a set of specifications from a client he should be following, he has to remind Sully that they can’t do shit like that on the job

But when there’s no specifications or rules or anything of the sort? Sully decides to take over itself and do all the nasty and depraved things Liu doesn’t want to do

Whenever this happens, Liu zones the fuck out. He’s had his fair share of violence and can stomach just about anything, so that’s not the issue. Nah he zones out because it gives his brain a chance to rest

He zones back in immediately once Sully gives him back control over his body

Liu wouldn’t exactly describe his relationship with Sully as a friendship considering besides its name, Sully hasn’t told him jack shit about itself

But Liu find’s Sully’s presence morbidly comforting. Especially when he’s gotta sit there bored as hell as he works on the techy logistics part of the job

And ok yeah he admits it, sometimes the shit Sully says is funny

So much so that he’ll repeat some of the things Sully says in his mind to people like Jeff and Ben, who both find it absolutely hilarious

Unlike Jane, Liu doesn’t give a shit about his appearance. He never did to be honest. He was a computer science major, what’re you expecting?

Therefore he doesn’t cover up his many scars from the violent and brutal death he suffered at the hands of Jeff

At first, Jeff thought Liu was doing it on purpose, as some sort of passive aggressive thing or some shit. But nope, Liu is just that unbothered about how others perceive him

Wears the green striped scarf because this motherfucker runs COLD

Like he’s constantly wanting to crank up the heat. He asked Eyeless Jack about it once and they theorized it has something to do with Liu constantly being possessed by ghosts

With that logic, he’s also constantly wearing jackets, hoodies, coats, anything that’ll cover as much skin as possible. He’s so cold

Not necessarily corpse cold though. Though he is definitely undead like Jane and some of the others

He’s very uptight about his schedule and work

If something even hints at going wrong he’s on top of that shit asap

He’s gotta run a tight ship for the line of work he does. Even minor slip ups are the difference to being caught or living to kill another day

Is also too prideful to ask Ben for help. Ben probably would if Liu would just ask, but they’re not gonna go out of their way to help Liu out of the goodness of their heart

Is friends/close with: EJ, Ben, Masky, and Hoody

Is neutral/has a tolerable relationship with: Jeff, Nina, Ann, Sally, Kagekao, Clockwork, LJ, and Helen

Hates: Slenderman, Puppeteer, and Jason

Jane is something beyond close to him. Sure, the two did briefly date, but beyond that, the two practically have a found sibling bond. They’d both give their lives for the other

Liu wants nothing more than for the both of them to be able to find peace, which is why both he and Jane haven’t stopped searching for a way to get out from under Slenderman’s control.

Sully has alluded to being able to help, but Liu has yet to make any progress on getting it to give up any information it has

Him and Ben have bonded over being tech guys. Liu isn’t super into video games though, which bums Ben out, but they’re still able to talk about other tech related things

He likes EJ, Masky, and Hoody for more simple reasons: they don’t talk much and are generally pleasant to be around whenever Liu runs into them in common areas. But all of them are so busy they barely see each other. Despite that, they all respect the hell out of each other. It’s like a guy thing or something

Puppeteer and Jason clash with his personality too much for Liu to stomach being around them. He already deals with Sully, he doesn’t need carbon copies of it walking around in his life

[cochidinh]

Heyo! It will feel like deja vu, but since you're also asking for us to ask you your thoughts about characters and ships, of course, Yomi it is 👀

All of them, if you don’t mind

Aaand what do you think about Yomi x Seth, Hellxander, Fake Zilch x Seth, and Yomi x Fake Zilch x Seth ?

Take your time to answer

Heyyo, Yomi? yeah yeah Yomi *let my monster out of the closet*

First impression

His debut was cool, but that's it, a normal evil character and I was not into him that much. I did laugh at his last name tho.

Headcanons

I did a whole post about him but since I know you perhaps read it, I'll write down something new

His left eye has poor vision and has a different iris than his right eye (the right is square and the left is diamond).

He has a very sensitive tongue so he usually only eats after the food has cooled a bit.

Even though he looks very flashy, his family was actually not rich (He never went to Ginma District or Marunomon before becoming the Peacekeeper Director). Most of his bad behavior is learned from his surroundings.

He interned at Amaterasu's research lab and then became a peacekeeper. Thanks to the internships, he learned and targeted the right person for cooperation - Dr. Huesca.

Complaints and/or praise

My complaint must be that they didn't make him evil enough because Kodaka said he was the most disgusting person he's ever created so I was expecting a bit more. I like Monaka (ultra despair girl) and that girl really shows me what evil and the horror of torture are. Looking back at Yomi, he is more like a child than Monaka lol

and they gave him a whip-cane, and let his cloak cover it all? There's no plot to show the function of that cane other than whipping Vivia and making 3/4 of the players I watched say "he has a whip??"

As for compliments, his model is really cute, not only his face but also his body (his waist is sooooooooo cute).

I mean, he may appear weird, but the more I gaze at him, the more I am drawn to him...

They also let him like handmade kinds of stuff and carry small bag around his waist, yup, reasonable for someone who likes to carry small things and do craft stuff. Whaaaa and he has so many books in his office, and he wrote a letter explaining the murder to Yakou? He wrote all his deals and made a folder? Could we see his handwriting- *got shot*

Favorite pairing (platonic or romantic)

*wipe blood* okay. I love these dynamic

Hitman Zil x Yomi x Martina. An evil polycule.

Makoto x Yomi. They are both 3 years old you honor, nothing problematic here.

Yomi x Yomi. This ship lives in my mind rent-free.

Overall opinion

He is my favorite after 1) he ordered Martina to be turned into a cube 2) he stomped on Yakou.

What I need is a villain that can turn everything worse for the protag, easy to understand why they act but not easy to predict what they will do next. I like him, and I want to kick him down the throne. His ending wasn't bad but it wasn't good either, I was expecting something more satisfying.

Jump on the next question.

Yomi x Seth.

I like their dynamic, they're okay to me.

Hellxander.

I love them. Anyone who can convince me that 15 minutes of talking to zombie Zil is not long enough to show that those two are together will receive the key to my treasure room. No way. I swear they did something nsfw suspicious behind everyone's back.

Fake Zilch x Seth

I never think about it. It is not what I will touch in a romantic way but in a platonic way.

Yomi x Fake Zilch x Seth

Wait a minute, I think you scratched something out from my brain's corner and I actually did read a fanfic about this...I don't like it that much. Sorry.

[dolce-tenebra-toscana]

Vento Infernale au

La Squadra and their favourite member of the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss cast ( considering is a crossover, they interacted at least once or they regularly see each other for plot reasons )

PART 1!

Risotto: Carmilla and Zestial

He may not be an overlord but Risotto is a heavily respected hitman and his services ( along with his team ) are often requested by Carmilla and Zestial themselves.

They usually talk about work but all 3 of them bond over the connection they have with their " family " and that they would do anything to protect them.

Carmilla's daughters are especially fond of him since he teached them the basics of self defense in Carmilla's absence, the overlord deeply appreciated that he took time to listen and find suitable weapons/combat style for her Clara and Odette.

Wine time between the 3 became a regular thing after some time~

Prosciutto: Stolas and Asmodeus

Prosciutto met the big guy Ozzie through his partner Fizzarolli ( Fizz had a show in Pride and was being followed by a bunch of creeps, so Prosci decided to help the imp hoping to get at least some type of reward....he did but definetly not the one he was hoping 🤣) and after being granted special VIP membership to Ozzie's second location in Pentagram city ( bear with me again, it's for plot reasons ) he was introduced by the Sin to Stoals as well.

The 3 of them bond over the fact that they always want to appear to their best and the high expectations people puts on them, their love for expensive stuff and the fact that all 3 are k*nky af.

So they meet in Ozzie's penthouse to chat and enjoy a good show (Asmodeus and Stolas also gave him a " i simp for imp " t shirt when they found out he was into imps as well lol)

Illuso: the Vees

Ok we talking about Heathers here....BUT WAY WORSE!!

If Illuso wasn't already part of the hitman team Vox, Val and Vel would have definetly asked him to join the V club but they all soon learned about his loyalty to the Squadra ( they lowkey respect that )

Vox asks the onryo sinner opinions about what trashy tv entartainment the mass needs cause Illuso is really quick on catching gossip; Val likes to party with him and they like to be the talk of the s*x clubs of the turf ( Valentino asked him to perform in some of his movies as well and illuso may have accepted...but no one knows in which one ) Velvette considers him a fashion icon, not as much as herself but definetly a close one! They love to make Voxtagram lives where they lay down the laws of what's " in " or not and loves to bully people online/on the runway durin vel's shows....so yeah these 3 together vibe but it's a nightmare for whoever is in their proximity

PART 2 SOON!!

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e2 recap: hitman santa claus and an audition tape from hell

time for this weeks recap, you guys! i'm going into gerri withdrawal, so this feels a bit like pulling teeth, but lets get into this trauma dump of an episode, shall we?

logan is apparently still in his feelings about last episode, but like any man of a certain age, he doesn't want to talk about it.

what he wants to do: take away the kids' helicopter privileges and scrutinize a poor man writing an email.

the kids on the other hand are planning the future of their brand new, 10 billion dollar media empire.

good thing they are really in touch with the people. as we all know, the american public is notoriously famous for being interested in foreign affairs.

it's also connor's rehearsal dinner and he voices his concern his sibs won't make it in the most boomer way possible.

shiv's "taking calls and looking upset" plot line continues.

we will get you that emmy, snookie.

tom's hogged all the good divorce lawyers in new york, similarly to what logan once did to caroline. a truly specific example of generational trauma or something.

logan is at ATN, just chillin' like a villain on the floor.

tom reacts to the news as any employee would, knowing their boss is in the office:

me running back from a one hour lunch after reading on slack that the boss is coming in.

tbh i'd take shiv calling me a lil bitch boy any day.

my close captions did this, and i can't figure out if it's a mistake or tom fucking with greg craig.

also, something tells me greg's sex tape does not have late night tv potential.

and now, for the main star of the show:

kerry's audition tape.

turns out she wants to be a host at ATN. i think roman and kendall speaks for all of us when they say:

never seen kendall so happy.

clearly, logan is the biggest anti-nepotism advocate out there, so he doesn't really want to have a say in what happens to kerry.

calling cyd and tom geniuses, though... seems fishy. perhaps it is not professionalism that is driving him, after all. i guess we will never know.

shiv continues to rack up the largest phone bill ever by talking to sandi (or is it sandy? i care to little to look it up) about potentially asking mattson for more money.

upside: more money. downside: he might just walk away from the table and they'll be stuck with a 10 billion dollar bill and a legacy media company where they focus on the very narrow topics of globan and extremely local.

personally, i don't even fully understand how the stock marked works, and even i can tell that this is a bad idea. but self-destructive people are going to self-destruct i guess.

speaking of:

WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT!!!!!!

logan does a murdoch type speech on the top of printing paper and rips an ATN employee to shreds.

if you ever went to j-school, you know this is the most horrifying scenario.

numbers? i'm a journalist, i can't do math.

logan also quotes a bit of daft punk:

and is completely calm and collected the entire speech, as we have come to expect of logan.

i truly believe logan and brian cox have morphed into one person during the four seasons of succession. i can't tell you why, but i also think this scene is proof.

also, logan is getting a BUNCH of screen time these first few episodes. could they pull the rug out from under us all and kill him off by episode 5? one can only hope.

the kiddos aren't allowed to take the company helicopter to connor and willa's rehearsal dinner and kendall is calm, cool and collected.

it's certainly a long way away from him running after that town car during the first attempt at overthrowing logan in season one. how far he's come. i'd like some of whatever it is he is taking.

stewy and sandi show up to convince the sibs to renegotiate the price with mattson.

i love stewy. i really do. but the show runners don't know how to use him properly anymore, i think. please, for the love of god, give the man some lavender. give him something more to do!

willa does what any young lesbian woman would do: ditch her own rehearsal dinner to have drinks with twenty of her closest friends.

it's not like the bride is needed at that sort of event, anyway.

roman shares my coping mechanism when dealing with any sort of emotional turmoil:

and so does connor, apparently:

there's nothing chocolate and a good rendition of 'don't stop me now' can't fix.

the show runners _really_ want you to know mattson is swedish with the bilar and the julmust and being aggressive whilst also saying you're not being aggressive.

it's the scandi way.

i feel represented.

the threat doesn't work on kendall, though. on the contrary, he's got kid brain and will do anything he is told not to do, so he goes back to back shiv on renegotiating the price. once again, roman is teamed up on, even though i stg he is the only one of the sibs making any sense lately.

this is connor's best attempt at being folksy:

hoegaarden haters unite. i knew there was a reason i liked connor.

positive note: he finally gets his way and they go to karaoke. negative note: he contacts logan and it all ends in a confrontation that makes me want to set myself on fire:

screaming, crying, throwing up.

we get another logan monologue of sorts, with certain interjections from the kids. potentially the first honest encounter this show has ever seen? i'm sick of brian cox face by now, so i couldn't be fucked to screengrab.

just have him die already. he's only there because he acknowledges that the kids have "got juice" and yet he calls them "not serious people".... i guess he is right, but i don't have to like it, okay!!!

roman comes crawling back and asks logan this:

logan responds that he needs him and it's the only thing i think roman has ever wanted to hear and i'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

i guess this marks the end of the siblings teaming up (for now). rip.

i feel drained.

bonus:

gerri is still out in the cold in all the ways and is absolutely NOWHERE in this episode. i'm glad she too had the chance to smirk at kerry's audition tape, but it was with hugo.... cancels itself out.

that being said, i've seen the trailer for next week's episode, and i am ready to be hurt again.

cheers!

[mfred]

May Reading Wrap-up

I read 28 books in May. I think. Goodreads is being wonky with my re-reads so it may be more like 29 or 30.

Of those 28 - 30 books, 7 were comic books or graphic novels. Benji Nate's Lorna and the Magical Beatdown zines by Jenn Woodall really stood out. I love Benji Nate's weird, weird, weird sense of humor.

May was really the month of re-reading. I re-read 8 Theodora Taylor books! I just can't quit her. From a recommendation in her newsletter, I also picked up a couple of Tiffany Patterson books that were pretty ok, a little repetitive in terms of plot and characters.

Another re-read was the Dream Team series by Kristen Ashley. I liked it better the second time around. Maybe because my expectations were lower?

Also re-read most of the Travises series by Lisa Kleypas. I wish she would write more contemporaries.

And I finally finished the Liz Danger series by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer! While it reaches neither the comedic or romantic heights of Agnes and the Hitman, the three books in the series were still enjoyable, funny, and featured a pretty decent romance. Plus, some plot twists I did not see coming. I'm pretty excited that Crusie and Mayer are writing again. Their next series is out later in June!

[eljackinton]

All the video games Jack played in 2023, reviewed.

Since it's a tradition of mine and I like seeing how far I've come vis-a-vis video games, here's another quick-fire round of every game I played this year.

Deathloop

Arkane's actionized spin off to Dishonored is a fine game in its own right, but after years of experimentation and refinement in their field many ImSim heads such as myself expected something more grander and complex, when Deathloop was in many ways the opposite of that.

Hitman 3

Agent 47's swan song goes to the series greatest heights possible, but the formula starts to bristle at the edges a little. About the right time to conclude the series I think. Freelance mode can go fuck itself.

Bioshock 2 and Minerva's Den

Definitely a strange beast. An attempt to simultaneously capture what made the original so iconic while also trying to put a completely different spin on it. I'm not sure it really works, but it's interesting to compare the two. The DLC on the other hand, manages to use it's limited scale to much better effect.

Alien Isolation

Finally finished this masterpiece of the franchise. The plot sort of goes nowhere in it's back second half and the DLC is for completists only. Still, the vibes and visuals look as good today as they did ten years ago.

Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2

A well designed and fun space strategy game that really gets the 40k vibe, but even so the campaign feels just a little too long to warrant multiple playthroughs. After finishing the Imperial campaign I'm in no hurry to go through the whole thing again with the other factions.

Aliens Dark Descent

After Isolation it was such a surprise to see another Alien game that just 'gets it.' While there are certain creative decisions I didn't jive with, the overall experience is a tense and genuine horror romp.

System Shock

That Nightdive managed to preserve the overall experience of the original, and also update it to modern sensibilities is nothing short of a miracle. I have some minor criticisms about the music and the ending, but otherwise an uncompromised update of a trendsetting classic.

Return of the Obra Dinn

One of those games that really tries to tell a story that only video games can. Glad I went into it blind, and I'd love to see it inspire more experimental mystery solving games.

Divinity Original Sin 2

I don't see the masterpiece in this that some do, but an impressive effort nonetheless. Too long and too sprawling, but expertly designed and deftly told.

Zeno Clash and Zeno Clash 2

I love these stupid weird games even if I still can't tell if I was playing it properly or just flailing about. They deserve far more recognition than they got.

The Walking Dead: Michonne, A New Frontier, The Final Season

As ever you can understand that Telltale put a lot of heart into their games, but ultimately they still collapse under the weight of the source materials tropes and conventions. A noble effort, but not without an eye-roll or two.

Neverwinter Nights

So far I've played just the base campaign and I can do nothing but call it a slog. Beyond a few interesting ideas here and there it's a distillation of all the worst parts of the Infinity Engine era with no improvements of it's own. No charm, no atmosphere, no character, physically and literally.

Alright then folks. That's about it. Let's see what the video games of 2024 bring.

[eiseryn]

Mafia/ Crime AU

Synopsis: Remember that yandere! Vail picture I drew way back? Well this is the collection of notes which are the plot as to why that type of Vail came to be! It is a tragedy so... TW character death? But not in the way you expect? Hopefully? This takes place in a crime/mafia AU (which I am not well-versed in), so note there's not much description about that. These notes are mostly focussed on "romance" and written in a very messy style.

Under the glamour of the city of Mertalline lurks the underdark where organized crime is rampant, and there are many gangs fighting amongst themselves. Rarely do citizens get caught up in their actions, and some aren’t even aware of the darkness that lies underneath… 

A small but prominent group — Lexi’s Red Dragons have been catching the attention of bigger and older groups due to their excellent work. Everyone in this group has insignias/ tattoos of a red dragon with horns on them.

Lexi (boss)

Rose (2nd in command?) + sniper 

Zoey (classic muscle(wo)man/hit(wo)man who goes on the frontlines), Keeper (works behind the scenes, mostly runs the comms line + rarely goes on the front lines. She also often is their strategist.), Vail (often sticks to things in the shadows/stealth missions, but does go on the frontlines) 

They also later recruit Liam as a standard muscleman for their work who also goes on the frontlines 

For funsies Elik + Tiger are here too XD (in my AUs they will NOT be villains) 

Elik is an assassin ofc, classic hitman — he is #1 in terms of damage tying with Lexi.

Tiger is a hacker ofc 

PEOPLE WHO ARE ALSO IN THIS GROUP FOR PLOT REASONS

Maric — we need more Runner bodies to fill up the hitmen slots LOL 

Flash — getaway driver :3 

The reason they are powerful is because they also have backing from Maria, one of the richest in the city. This might also mean they do dirty jobs for Maria.

The order they were recruited in:

(Starting members) Lexi, Rose, Vail, Keeper, Elik, Tiger. Then Zoey was recruited, and then Flash, and then Maric, and Liam is the newest recruit. 

Underground doctor group — Elise, Lei, Ceres. 

Elise, who has a mysterious past (would be revealed in plot) as to why she’s an underground doctor. 

It is likely because her company did illegal experimentation/ unethical experimentation and she ran away somehow? She might still be hiding from them.  

Ceres — got caught up with the mess due to her relation to her brother Rose, who hid his criminal activities from her for a long time. Unfortunately, she is now also hiding from whatever forces are going after Rose. 

She often stays indoors, as forced by Rose and Lei so that she stays “safe”. 

In this AU she got trained to shoot — by Lei and Rose. 

Lei, formerly falsely accused of making illegal drugs in her company, and thus had to turn into underground doctoring after this stain in her records. She probably did go to jail for this but got a reduced sentence. 

She is popular because she cooks the cleanest drugs on the black market. They’re so clean people wonder how she got here.

Under her cold bitchy persona there lies a soft heart. 

Carries a gun strapped to her thigh for “self-defense” but also can kill in self-defense. 

Only wears dresses/skirts, almost never wears pants. Often wears heels as well because she used to have a sort of agreed immunity by the gangs as a doctor… until some gangs thought she was favouring a certain group a little too much.

Plot: 

Due to competition from the other gangs/groups, Lexi’s group is being targeted and many other crime groups are trying to wipe them out. 

As an underground doctor, Lei is supposed to remain impartial to those who show on her doorstep — as long as the money is there. But she may have favoured Lexi’s group a little too much and is now being targeted by the mysterious forces after Lexi’s group.

Lexi assigned a bodyguard for her — Vail. 

Vail does his job diligently but Lei isn’t so pleased with this set up (in the beginning) b/c she doesn’t want someone to die for her and she knows people are going after HER life. This responsibility makes her a little anxious.

Lei: Why did they send you? I can shoot better than you. 

Vail: Just think of me as a meat shield then. 

Lei: This is a waste of your time. I can take care of myself.

Vail: Just following orders from the boss (Lexi).

It is hinted that there is a mole in Lexi’s group — they don’t know who at the moment but they suspect someone is betraying them.

Early in the story, Liam might look sus since he is the newest recruit but it will be soon proven false.

Throughout the plot the red herring for the suspect is Maric, who is the second most recent recruit.

Smoking scene (kinda spicy?) 

Aside from her doctoring duties and selling the drugs she makes, Lei often does networking (which Elise is actually better at but Lei feels like she’s at less of a risk than Elise). 

In the alleyway, Lei takes out a cigarette and lights it up and smokes it. As her loyal bodyguard, Vail is standing basically beside her.  

Lei: Hey, you know second hand smoke is bad for you right? 

Vail: Yes, and?

Lei: So stay a little further away. 

Vail: I’m your bodyguard. I can’t protect you if I’m far away. 

Lei stays nothing, because she begins to shiver a little. Nights in Mertalline are cold, especially in sketchy alleyways. And yet she also often wears sleeveless dresses. Vail takes off his suit jacket and moves to put it on her shoulders and she kind of flinches away as he approaches. 

Vail, confused: You said you’re cold. 

Lei: I didn’t ask for your jacket. 

Vail: Yeah, you didn’t. I’m just giving it to you.

She shivers again, so he drapes it over her shoulders.

Lei: It’ll smell like cigarette smoke.

Vail shrugs: Most of the Red Dragons smoke, so it doesn’t matter. 

He doesn’t tell her that he usually stays away from them when they smoke. But she doesn’t ask why his jacket smells devoid of smoke either. 

Sedatives

Vail needs sleeping pills to sleep b/c he has some insomnia → trauma of his job? 

He gets them from Lei usually, so this is how they knew each other before he became her bodyguard.

When it gets really bad to the point it’d become dangerous on the job (unable to sleep at night, falling asleep on the job?), he asks her for better/more effective ones.

She has a new recipe she’s trying out but she’s not sure of the risk/side effects.

He tries them and they’re quite effective, but they don’t really seem like there’s that many side effects … that are obvious.

The amount of dosage needed is lower

And it’s less addictive/ barely addictive at all. 

But they will later find… there is an issue with this new drug

Sometimes after eating these drugs and falling asleep he also has strange dreams… 

In some dreams he is having a spicy time — he’s touching her (hands on thighs? Face? etc.), kissing her, she might be whispering sweet nothings into his ears as her hands wander lower (and also more spicy things happen that I will not describe… in this doc LOL). He probably feels guilty after waking up and wonders why he dreams these things.

In some dreams he’s killing her — sometimes he’s choking her, sometimes he slits her throat, once it was a gun to her abdomen and he watched her bleed out.

He doesn’t realize he only has these dreams when he’s eating the drugs, because dreams are strange like that / doesn’t make the connection. 

He does not tell anyone about these dreams.

These dreams he has… start to bleed into reality… (the spicy good ones not the killing ones) 

Guns

Vail hates guns. That’s the truth. He hates using them and he hates that he needs to use them sometimes. 

Maybe his parents were killed by one, and a gang, so he first became part of the scheme to avenge his parents?

But either way, whenever he doesn’t need them, he will not use them.

Lei also hates guns but it is the only way she can protect herself, being physically weak otherwise.

She is good with them though, it’s so easy to aim and pull the trigger. Concerningly easy → cold bitch Lei let’s go.

Of the doctor ladies she’s killed the most. I think maybe Ceres has killed more than Elise directly though :3 

Maybe their mutual dislike in guns is revealed in the story and this brings them closer

Lei: Why didn’t you use your fucking gun? You almost died!

Vail: … I…

Vail: I hate using them. Sorry. 

Lei: … 

Lei: (sighing) That makes two of us. 

Flash saving Lei :3 

This might happen very early in the story — one of the first events, which is why they discover she’s being targeted. 

Lei is walking in the sketchy alleyways and she notices someone is following her, so she begins to run and they also run after her. There are possible gunshots that she manages to dodge. She also shoots back and manages to land 1 shot on her pursuer, which is why she escapes from the situation. 

Coincidentally, Flash pulls up and tells her to jump in so they escape the situation.

This high stress situation → getting saved by Flash → makes her very grateful to Flash and she finds herself trusting him more quickly/easily than she should.

Although, she doesn’t seem to be aware of this being the reason why, as Flash seems to have high emotional/social intelligence

She does find that he seems to always say things that SHE likes to hear, but she feels like he’s not like this with others, which reassures her a little. 

He also gives her rides sometimes when he’s not on jobs from Lexi. He even opens the door for her when he does so like a gentleman. 

She ends up talking to him more than she anticipates because he makes the situation seem comfortable. 

Liam being scrutinized as the newbie 

Liam gets recruited because his goal is similar to Lexi’s goal — to get rid of the scum of the city (Maybe?) — him to make the city a better place for his brother, Lexi just because she is a hero (main protag energy). 

Other than Zoey, the rest of them were not so keen about Liam at first and there was a bit of a distrust for him.

Zoey and Liam might be childhood friends in this because their homie energy is too strong. 

He also quickly hit off with Tiger + Elik — probably didn’t get along with them at first, but after doing a few jobs with them… they found out they got along quite well, especially him and Tiger. 

Rose might have been one of the people who distrusted Liam the most at first, but warmed up to him eventually when they slowly found out about each other.

Keeper probably started out neutral with him but like tsundere, he does end up having a place within her circle. 

Maric, Vail, and Flash were pretty neutral about him. I imagine most of them would still be neutral about him, but more accepting of them. 

As the newbie, he was first to be accused/suspected of being the mole, but Rose, Elik, and Vail probably all took turns tailing him and found his sneaking around was him trying to stalk his bro

Maric as the red herring

He is the second suspect after Liam is “cleared” of his suspect status. 

Personality wise he’s a little rash → jump into action type. I also think he’s the type to follow instructions / not think too much because he’s just the muscle. Other people with bigger brains can do the thinking. 

But the fact he follows instructions well makes him more sus maybe? 

Maybe sometimes he even messes up a little, which makes him a prime suspect.

I have no idea why he was cleared of being the suspect but they just find out he’s kinda just a guy. And then they’re like why did we even suspect him… he’s the most normal jock type person ever.

Protection

For like the first month-two months nothing really happens when Vail is bodyguarding Lei so they lessen the amount of that so he can work on other things Lexi needs him to do. 

One time she’s walking alone and she actually does get attacked. She manages to take down her pursuer but also gets injured in the process — luckily just a sprained ankle (from running in heels LOL) 

When they inspect the pursuer’s dead body, they do find an insignia of a rival gang/ tattoo on him — Rats maybe? XD 

She does stop wearing heels as frequently after and opts for lace-up boots.

He finds her at the clinic later where she is doing her own treatment. 

Vail: Sorry… 

Lei: It wasn’t your fault. We got too comfortable since they didn’t make any moves. 

She sighs, taking off the ice pack from her ankle and binding it to reduce the swelling: I guess you’ll be stuck with me a little longer. 

Vail: …

Lei: Well, don’t get too excited there. 

Vail: Don’t worry, I’ll protect you next time. So it won’t happen again.

Lei laughs a little: That is definitely supposed to be your job. I’ll be looking forward to it then~

He’s just keeping his eyes on the treasure

Since he often walks behind her and slightly to the side of her, when he’s not paying attention to his surroundings, he’s watching her from behind. 

Lei: You could stare at my ass and legs less often, you know. 

Vail, surprised: How did you know that? 

Lei: … Well I didn’t but now I definitely do. 

Vail: … 

(She’s always wearing like short dresses and skirts — sometimes with stockings, sometimes her legs are bare — anyways there is a reason he is looking) 

Lei: What do you like better?

Vail: What?

Lei: Stockings or bare legs? 

Vail: Stockings  (because it’s more fun to imagine taking them off :3 and it looks less cold) 

Lei: No hesitation… Alright. 

And then starting the next day she starts to wear stockings/ tights more. Vail doesn’t ask but she explains it like

Lei: Since you’re guarding me, I thought that I should give you some motivation, y’know. You can look — you just can’t touch. 

Liam in this world

In this AU, similar to canon, Liam would do anything to make sure his younger bro Alba has a good future so after their parents’ death, he turned to crime to make a living for Alba. 

Possibly went to jail a few times for pettier crimes. Eventually starts doing organized crime as a grunt/hitman. 

Alba eventually found out about Liam’s criminal activities and cut Liam out (same as the canon LOL) but Liam is okay with this more so because he wants Alba to live the best life he can, untainted and pure as he is. 

Liam still kinda stalks Alba creepily though, whenever he can or hires someone to do it/ gets someone from the gang to do it (maybe Rose or Elik? — whoever is willing)

Tiger + Elik 

The twins, for as long as they knew, only had each other in life. So it makes sense that after all these twenty-something years, they still stick together as much as possible.

Part of the story for them in this AU is to learn that yes, they will always be important to each other, but also learning that they can be independent of each other

Liam gets close to both of the twins in different ways! 

Elik cuz they’re both big bros. And they’re bros. And maybe more than just bros XD 

Tiger because they just have similar ideologies and their personalities mesh well together so they’re very close friends! Liam also becomes her big bro (cute vibes only)

the twins are still very girlboss in this AU so they are like some of the #1 in Lexi’s group. (obviously). 

Rose + Ceres

In this AU, Rose and Ceres grew up together and their parents were really bad so Rose took Ceres and escaped as soon as he could (maybe he was 18 and Ceres 10) 

Rose had to turn to crime to ensure he could raise Ceres. But he would do anything for his precious younger sister…

They’re quite close in this AU but Ceres feels guilty that her brother went to such lengths so that she could grow up… and Rose feels guilty he got Ceres involved in this mess.

At some point Ceres almost got taken which made Rose have a bad time and break down but it’s okay she was okay in the end and Rose trained her in shooting after so she could protect herself

She doesn’t like using guns but she’ll do anything to ease her bro’s burden

Ceres does feel like a little trapped bird in a cage sometimes though… it suffocates her a little. 

Ceres + Elise + Lei 

After prison (?) Lei had to turn to doing underground doctoring which was pretty dangerous since she was a lone young woman. Elise heard about her and asked if she wanted to work with her (and Ceres)

Of course there is no reason not to accept so Lei did and thus they opened their own little underground clinic, mostly catering to the organized crime groups.

Lei got particularly close to Ceres because they were close in age and they spend the most time together in the clinic. Ceres because she’s not that allowed to leave and Lei because she’s cooking drugs. 

Sometimes Lei would joke with Ceres that she could be her older sis (instead of Rose LOL) 

Ceres: My older sister? Like… my sister in law?

Lei: ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Lei makes a disgusted face: I love you, Ceres, but I would not marry Rose for you. I’m sorry. 

Ceres: A-ah… o-okay… 

Lei: We don’t have to be sisters by law. After all, when has the law ever done something good for us? 

Lei: Instead… we can be sisters by oath (smiles)

Ceres smiles back: Okay… sisters by oath.

Sometimes Lei helps Ceres sneak out… because if Ceres is with her she’ll be safe right? :) Lei will protect her.

An intended promise

Lei: You know, I don’t think it would be too bad, if the three of us stuck together for the rest of our lives.

Ceres: Y-yeah? You think?

Lei nods: The prospects aren’t high, but… 

Ceres: Pro-promise?

Lei: Well as long as I don’t croak early and the two of you don’t get married, yes I promise.

Ceres: D-don’t say that! We will all be fine…

Lei: …

Lei: Yeah…. 

(in her thoughts) Hopefully… 

Since the red dragons all carry red dragon tattoos/ insignias… I think it would be cute if the doctor gals also have their own little symbol they carry. I have not decided what this symbol is, but probably a bird like a dove (Elise is an eagle, Lei a swan, and Ceres in this AU is a bird in a cafe. Doves are supposed to represent peace). It’s probably a little keychain though. 

Elise hangs it on her stethoscope

Ceres on car keys (when she is allowed to go out LOL)

Lei’s is on her keys to the clinic. 

It would be a shame… if anything happened to anyone in this group. They are very tight-knit and all of them play very important parts in the running of their little underground clinic… 

Big Bro squad

Liam, Rose, Elik. They hang out a lot and do missions a lot together XD they can all relate that they are big bros who would do anything for their younger sibs…

POSSIBLY AN OT3??? Age gap between Rose and the other 2 is concerning but let’s handwave this for funsies. Maybe they are just FWB who knows this is a spicy dark AU so anything goes.  

THEY CAN ALSO JUST BE SUPER GOOD FRIENDS. Not everything has to be a ship. I said. Me LOL. But no, I just want them to be a squad for sure. 

Ceres gets kidnapped by one of the rival gangs.

Against Lexi’s wishes, they (Rose, Lei, Vail) go on a rescue mission to get her back.

They might also convince Liam + Elik/Tiger for this rescue mission due to big bro squad camaraderie. 

It’s very dramatic and epic — stealth mission after all to break in and get the girl

Rose actually doesn’t miss many shots this time and he snipes a bunch of people. He first takes out some guards at a distance before the others go in. 

Liam goes in guns/sword ablazing —what is stealth? He tanks again.

Elik is very calculated about the way he approaches this. He doesn’t need to stealth though cuz everyone will die as soon as he steps in #girlboss 

Vail stealths… it’s in his kit to ambush people from the shadows. 

Lei is also just shooting cuz she does not have stealth. She even wears pants for this mission. (She only wears pants when she’s serious LMAO) 

They get Ceres, who is in a little room on her own, knocked out (sedative), tied up to a chair, and gagged. She is otherwise okay.

It is concerningly easy to get to Ceres once they kill everyone and the way back seems unusually clear… 

As if it were a trap :3 Or a set up for something :3 

Lexi shakes her head at them when they return… saying there will be repercussions for their actions…

After this rescue mission, Vail and Lei grow a little bit closer. They start to talk more over the few months and sometimes also borderline flirt. This flirting is in Lei's personality though — she’s used to sucking up a little.

Jacket

Vail, putting his jacket on her again because she’s cold: Why do you never bring a jacket?

Lei: It wouldn’t go well with my outfit. Besides, why bring my own jacket when you’ll give me yours~ 

She’s right though LOL he will give her his jacket.

Collar

I just think this would be hot. There's no particular reason why Vail ended up with a collar from Lei. It’s a very simple choker — like a stretchy durable piece of durable fabric with a silver clasp… TRUST ME BRO 

Someone may have called Vail Lexi’s dog or Lei’s dog or just a dog in general

Lei: Don’t listen to that drivel. You aren’t anyone’s dog. 

Vail: Well… essentially I am your guard dog right now.

Lei: Bodyguard. You’re a bodyguard.

Vail: I dunno, sometimes I think dogs are better than people…

Lei: … You’re not wrong about that… but… 

Lei: What, you want a collar, too?

Vail: If it’s a gift from you. 

around here is where Lei starts to suspect something is wrong. 

She still gives him the collar though :3 cuz it’s sexy.

Lei: Since you asked so nicely, here. 

Lei: It’s really simple though, so you can throw it away if you want. 

For some reason, Vail is exceptionally touched by such a small tiny action. 

Vail: I won’t. 

And then he puts it on right away. He only takes it off when he’s showering, and cleans it immediately if it ever gets bloodied. 

Name 

In the beginning, he simply called her “Doc”. 

But at some point during the bodyguarding (close to like 4 months and almost every day too?) this changed.

Lei: You know, you don’t have to keep calling me “Doc”. I’m not your doctor right now.

Vail: Yeah? What do you want to be called?

Lei: Just call me Lei, at least we are alone. 

Since it is her request, who is he to refuse? 

Jealousy

canon Vail doesn’t get jealous but this AU’s Vail… is a spicy meatball also for legitimate plot reasons. 

Specifically, this event takes place where after Lei treats a patient, they’re extra touchy with her, which she shuts down quickly, but the patient is generally being a sleaze? 

Lei asks Vail to show the patient out the door and he does, but as soon as he and the patient are in the alleyway, he kills the patient in cold blood.

He doesn’t even realize —  he’s doing this subconsciously — until the blood is on his sword and hands.

He just realizes after that, he didn’t like how the person was treating her… and in cold anger he decided that such a person was not needed in the world.

He has to get rid of the body first before returning

When he comes back a little later, Lei notices the blood on him and after confirming it’s not his injuries… she realizes he’s just killed someone.

Lei: Who was it? That you killed? 

Vail: …

Vail: The guy just now. 

Lei: Why? Was he from a rival gang?

Vail: … He touched you. 

This is more evidence that allows Lei to realize something is wrong with Vail. 

She used to feel safe with him… but now, she just feels dread… and fear. 

“More Addictive than Any Drug”

Lei is not blind, she notices him looking at her mouth, so she says, mostly as a joke. 

Lei: You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.

Vail: And what if I do?

Lei raises her eyebrow, clearly not expecting him to admit it. With a smirk, she beckons him forward with a finger. 

He obliges, and once he’s right in front of her, she pins him to the wall, presses her knee between his legs and then leans in to kiss him, hard. 

“Fuck” he thinks. Because her kisses are more addictive than any drugs he’s taken before. And he suffers withdrawal symptoms every time. 

His fantasy (dreams) and reality blurs a little when it comes to this. But a dream is no longer enough… 

I don’t know where this scene fits in the plot but it’s spicy so it has to happen. Also that previous point is important. :3 

“First Time”

Things get spicy real fast… not sure why this happened but I need it for plot reasons… plot reasons XD 

Maybe they just gave into the desire — what is self control when there’s always a chance you’re going to die the next day? 

The other option is she got drunk somehow (maybe the stress of the situation) and called him up LOL cuz she has a diff personality when she’s drunk. 

Canon Vail would not do anything to her while she’s drunk/ under the influence, but this AU’s Vail has a reason why he’d give in… 

It's Vail's first time so it’s still spicy in that regard because Lei is still leading. 

Spicy things happen and he finally gets to touch the legs and thighs he sometimes looks at. 

He whispers the words "I love you" before he passes out which makes Lei freeze up and realize she’s made a huge mistake. 

If she’s drunk this is what causes her to have a moment of being not drunk → cold water to her face

Spicy scene: Morning after 

He wakes up alone the morning after and finds no notes left for him or anything — no trace of what happened last night. He goes to find her, but when he goes to her workplace, he finds Liam standing outside the door. 

Vail: What are you doing here?

Liam: I’m Doc’s bodyguard.

Vail, frowning: No, I’M her bodyguard. 

Liam: Not as of this morning. Ask Lexi for details. 

Vail, bristiling with anger: Are you fucking with me right now? 

The door opens and it is Lei who has her hands on her hips. For once she’s wearing pants: You two are making a ruckus while I’m trying to do my work. 

Vail: Why the fuck is Liam your bodyguard now?

She seems to hesitate for a little bit but she exchanges nods with Liam and finally invites Vail to come inside the room where she’s working on drugs.

Vail: Lei-

Lei: Doc. Call me Doc. 

Lei: … Last night was a mistake, Vail. 

Vail is deeply hurt by these words: What do you mean a mistake? 

Lei: … A temporary lapse in judgment. We were simply giving into our animalistic desires. 

Vail: Animalistic desires? I said I love you.

Lei: … Love doesn’t exist for people like us, Vail. I’m sure you didn’t mean it. You just got caught up in the moment. 

Vail: What if I mean it? 

Lei: You don’t.

Vail: How would you know that? 

Lei: … 

Lei: … Well, either way, you definitely can’t be my bodyguard anymore. 

Vail: Why not?

Lei hisses: It’s for your own sake. This is supposed to be a job for you — you can’t just bring your personal feelings into it. 

Vail: Then what was last night supposed to mean? 

Lei: … You’re right, I’m sorry. If I had known it was your first time I wouldn’t have played around with you.

Vail: … Is that all? Just that you wanted to “play around” a little? 

Lei: …Yeah. That’s all. 

He is silent, the hurt stinging, so he says nothing. They both stay in this tense silence for a long time — the clock continues to tick tick tick on the wall and it is the only noise for a few long minutes. 

Lei, more gently: You can love anyone you want, Vail. It just can’t be me. 

“I don’t want anyone else” Vail thinks, “I want you.” But he doesn’t say this. He cannot, because he knows she would shut him down even further. He simply clenches his fists. 

“Alright.” He says instead. What else can he do? 

Lei seems to smile at him, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

Lei: I need to do my work now, and I’m sure Lexi has tasks for you to do. Let Ceres or Elise know if you want any drugs on the way out though. 

His voice is empty when he says his second “alright". And it takes every fibre of effort in his being to walk away, but he manages to leave. 

He doesn’t see how when she turns away, her hands are shaking as they grip the glassware she’s working with. 

Withdrawal symptoms 

Time passes. They do their jobs separately. 

Everytime he gets injured (and he seems to get more injured during this time, especially because he gets distracted a lot and keeps thinking about her), he goes to their clinic hoping to even just get a small glimpse of Lei but it’s always Ceres and Elise who treat him. 

Ceres treats him silently and rarely, only for minor injuries (first aid lower than Elise + Lei)

Elise is usually the one who treats him, and usually tells him Lei is 1) not here, 2) busy, 3) seeing another patient. 

Elise usually doesn't say much but once she tells him that he needs to stop coming here to try to see Lei because she has been firm she won't see him. 

He asks why.

Elise: Lei… she thinks it's best for you if you can forget about her as quickly as possible.

Vail: I'm trying but it's not working.

Elise: Hmm… clearly. But she is right, whatever you’re feeling… it isn’t as you think it is.

Vail: Why does everyone keep telling me what I should feel? 

Elise: … 

Elise: Our advice comes with experience. Of course I cannot control what you feel, but, just err on the side of caution when it comes to these things. 

Elise: After all… this world is cruel to those who show weakness.

Vail: I'm strong, I can protect her.

Elise: Maybe you are. But you haven't considered that if you’re the one showing weakness… she might be the one to get hurt.

Elise no longer elaborates as the treatment has ended. On the way out she does say something else

Elise: If you really do care about her… it’s best to stay away. 

Vail still doesn’t understand but just generally feels bad as he continues to stay away. There’s a constant sort of small pit in his stomach as he’s separated from her and even though spending time away should make it fade — it doesn’t… 

It is also heavily hinted during this period that the sedative he gets from her has trace amounts of the yandere/obsession drug in it (but if you see previous parts, this has been foreshadowed). This is why he is extra obsessive / why he developed feelings so fast. He is not aware of this at the time and Lei began to suspect it later. 

Elise has also been told by Lei of the issue and now she is seeing it in action.

Re-meeting

Liam gets busy / assigned to do stuff with Tiger + Elik (in terms of trying to crack down whom exactly are the rival gangs trying to take them down) so Vail is reassigned to be Lei’s bodyguard

It has been ~2-3 months and the first re-meeting starts off a bit tense… 

From Vail’s POV he is immensely excited though — as though it’s a natural body response from him and he cannot explain why. 

Imagine like a dog wagging his tail — but he tries his best to hide this. 

Lei is like: Oh good, you seem to be well. 

Vail, in pain is like: Yeah I got over it. Don’t worry about it/ about me. 

He is lying, but he got better at hiding it… he used to not lie at all… but he has to now. 

Because in his eyes, being just a bodyguard is better than being nothing at all… 

Lei: … Good. I’m glad to hear it. 

She thinks MAYBE the drug is wearing off and she’s relieved but she’ll still work on the “cure” if she can. 

She later finds out the drug has not worn off. 

She does get attacked eventually by a group of people durin this time. 

Vail does his bodyguard duties all cool and he gets injured in the fight, so he gets treatment by her ASAP.

He goes unconscious from blood loss but when he wakes up, he finds himself lying in a bed and she’s like there with him, asleep on the floor beside the bed.

For extra spiciness she might be holding his hand, which she planned to retract before he woke up but she fell asleep from the hard work of making sure he didn’t die. 

He’s like “don’t play around with my feelings like this” but he takes the hand that’s holding his and kisses it.

She doesn’t wake up. 

Because of fatigue, he does end up being able to fall asleep and when he wakes up the second time, she is gone, like she was never there to begin with. 

Tiger finally breaks into the systems of the rival gangs and they figure out the main gangs that are after them. Lexi + Keeper + Rose and some of the higher ups decide it’s time to get rid of them because they’ve been a pain in the assforever → final battle/ big confrontation time. 

They’ve been doing plot stuff in the BG but I’m not actually that well-versed with mafia AUs so just know the plot is going on in the BG but… the action is NOT the focus of this story :3 it’s just the setting for something else I want to convey. 

“Dinner” 

She’s changing his bandages for the last time before the final battle — he’s basically healed enough to fight and there is no choice. 

Vail: If I live, let’s go out for dinner. 

Lei: … That’s a death flag. You shouldn’t say those things.

Vail: We deal with death flags all the time. I’ll be fine. 

(his thoughts) And as long as you’re alright… then that is what matters. 

She is silent for a long time. Because he can’t see her expression right now since her face is downturned, he has no idea what her face looks like. Is it angry like it has been before? Is it disgusted? Is it sad? He will never know. 

Lei: … Maybe. (she finally answers very quietly. She is still looking down and shadows obscure her face.)

Vail: Maybe?

Lei: I didn’t outright say no.

Vail: If that’s the case then it just might be enough to get me through this. 

She doesn’t reply. (She is too scared that she will say her true feelings if she opens her mouth, so she keeps it shut). 

There’s a super epic final battle with Lexi’s group vs some other gangs. Lexi’s group wins of course with no casualties — although there were some close ones.

almost deaths: Keeper, Zoey, Rose, Maric, Tiger

The rival gangs found the hideout that Keeper + Tiger were in doing comms work and hacking work, but they manage to escape. Maric was probably the one with them, and so also got caught in the crossfire. They then join the main battle, Flash brings them. 

They are injured so Elise/Lei/Ceres patch them up… well as best as they can cuz this is semi-realistic and there are no magical regen stims. 

Maric is the most injured, he unfortunately cannot participate in the battle after but he did his job of guarding their squishy girlies so y’know give him some applause please. 

Then both Keeper and Tiger go in guns ablazing as well — when I’m talking epic I’m saying gunshots explosions everywhere LOL 

Keeper steals one of Zoey’s shotguns and uses that. 

Zoey and Rose almost get taken out by a bomb / explosion/ cave in but somehow Liam saves them (just like in the canon universe) 

Lexi is of course on the frontlines with the other DPSes — Elik, Zoey, Liam, Vail. They are all girlbossing their way through this. 

Ceres even goes out and shoots some people — I imagine she takes down someone who almost killed Rose. Sibling bond uwu

Elise is in the corner providing medical care. Lei and Ceres are with her — although Lei is shooting at people who come too close XD. 

“Support? Yeah I support the enemy’s right to die” — Lei, probably.

Lei probably ends up fighting a lot/ not standing in the corner in the end cuz she is capable of that. 

Everyone lives :3 well except for the gangs they decimate. They uh destroy a lot of gangs one by one… it’s only the remnants that are really in the final battle, trying to get revenge on their fallen brethren. Lexi’s group has been slowly whittling the forces of the scummiest over time. 

They celebrate after with drinks + dinner party 

People who drink: Lexi, Rose, Elik, Tiger, Liam, Zoey, Vail

People who do not drink/ drank nonalcoholic beverages: Maric (he’s in the hospital bed LOL) , Flash, Ceres, Keeper, Lei, Elise (she’s watching over Maric LOL) 

Lei leaves early to “go sleep” but she’s really going to work on developing a cure for the Bessenheit symptoms and Vail notices and tells her he’ll walk her home. 

She’s like “You don’t have to guard me anymore.” (thinking the gang situation is resolved)

He’s like “I want to, though.”

Again, she is silent and feeling hella guilty.

During this time he asks her about dinner again and she’s like “... I will think about it carefully. But I also have something that I might need to tell you so please give me a few days.” 

This sounds more hopeful than he was expecting so he’s like “Alright. I will wait.”

And so she gets dropped off at her workplace?, but they don’t notice there is a car following them with someone watching very carefully… 

The “End”

They think because they uncovered and eliminated the groups that were after Lexi’s group they’re safe now. 

A few days pass uneventfully and some of their guards lower, although strangely, they never discovered the mole.

Lei still hasn’t responded to Vail’s dinner request. She is too afraid and she knows that his feelings are all but lies, so she doesn’t want to complicate it, but she’s thinking of telling him why / informing him of the likely contaminant in his sedatives. She’s already stopped giving him those sedatives but knows the effects are still lingering based on his reactions toward her… 

She’s considering telling him why she cannot accept the dinner request after she goes to black market that day.

Lei gets into the familiar car of the gang’s getaway driver, Flash… she had asked him prior to take her to black market so she could get the materials for a drug she’s trying to figure out what is wrong with Vail’s sedative.

He opens the backseat door for her, which he has done for her before so it is not unusual and she’s busy thinking about what to do with the Black market.

But instead of going to the driver’s seat, he overpowers her with his strength and injects her with a sedative she had given to him days prior… 

Specifically he sometimes does deliveries for her + maybe for the gang in general, so it was not unusual for him to have access to the materials she was using… 

It is also possible he simply managed to steal one, but I think it’s spicier if he simply got Lei to trust him enough to believe his word that Lexi or someone else needs 1 dose of the sedative. 

She thinks: Fuck, the mole was Flash all along… I shouldn’t have trusted him… 

And she goes unconscious… 

When she wakes up, she finds herself in an unfamiliar location — a dirty and abandoned barn, likely far away from the city. She is tied up and cannot move, Flash looks at her with surprise. Her gun is in his hands, pointed at her head.

Flash: Thought that sedative was supposed to knock out a grown man for 12 hours. 

Lei: It should. But I built up a resistance to it. I like to be prepared.

Here it is revealed she also needs sleeping pills in this AU. Cuz trauma. 

Flash: I’m surprised you’re not screaming your lungs out. I didn’t gag you. 

Lei: What’s the point in that? No one will come save me.

Flash: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Lei: …

Lei: Well, what? Is this where you’re going to monologue like a villain? 

Flash: A villain? 

Flash: Believe me when I say, I didn’t want to do this. 

Lei: Whether you wanted to or not, it doesn’t change that you did. Intentions mean nothing in this world, only actions matter. 

Flash: That’s true. But I am sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be you. It could have been anyone else. But I’m out of time and my hands are tied.

Lei: Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better. But it doesn’t change what happened.

She tries to struggle a little more in the ties, but she truly doesn’t have the strength to escape. And she’s tired, and she’s cold. She wasn’t lying when she said no one will come to save her. 

Lei (tired voice): Why don’t you get it over with?

Flash: Maybe I’m just trying to buy you some time.

Lei: (scoffs) Buy me some time? Or maybe you’re just having fun trying to torture your prey before her death? 

Lei (sigh): Just kill me already…

Flash: You really that eager to die? 

Lei: Don't really have a choice here, do I? 

Flash: Maybe, not. But what about those you’ll leave behind? Don’t you think about them at all? 

Lei: … 

Lei: That’s not my responsibility. 

Flash: Maybe, but what might they think? Elise? Ceres? 

Flash: … Vail? 

Lei: … 

Lei: They shouldn’t think anything of it at all. We are all not strangers to death. They will be fine. 

Lei: Please… just get it over with, Flash. 

She finally hears the safety click OFF and wonders how long Flash has been keeping her here for, without just shooting her while she was unconscious. He could have even done so in the car, or could have dropped her body off a cliff. Maybe he was not lying in saying he tried to buy some time for her, or maybe he was just getting off to torturing her a little before her death. That is something she will never know.

As she closes her eyes and braces herself for the gunshot that will finally end it all, she wonders how much of her words she’s just said to Flash are lies and how much is the truth. 

She hears the ringing gunshot

But she feels nothing. 

There’s a crashing noise of wood breaking and when she opens her eyes, she sees Vail crashing through the barn door, eyes blazing. He is holding a gun in his hands as well — the very weapon he hates. 

They exchange fire for a while, but Flash is fast and dexterous and Vail is not adept with his gun. Vail also manages to dodge the gunshots Flash fires at him. 

But unfortunately, Flash manages to land a shot at Lei who is still tied up and hits something in her abdomen. 

Through the red mist of pain, she sees Flash mouth the words “I’m sorry” and he promptly runs away.

You can see the internal conflict where Vail starts to run after Flash, but he sees the amount of blood pouring out of Lei and goes over to her instead.

He holds her in her arms but she’s bleeding too much… A doctor cannot administer first aid on herself, and he’s essentially useless as she’s quickly bleeding out. Even if Elise were here herself, the wound is in such a vital area it would only really be a miracle that would allow her to live. 

Lei: Why… did you come?

Vail: To save you. 

Lei: Sorry… you wasted… your time. 

Vail: Don’t say that I’ll get you to Elise and you’ll be alright… you’ll be alright. 

Lei: Not enough time. 

Vail: Save your strength. You just need to hold on a little longer. 

Lei laughs bitterly but it turns to hacking coughs and she coughs up blood.

Lei: That dinner… I wanted…

Vail: You can tell me later. We have to get you out of here. 

Lei: I wanted… to say…yes.

Vail: Don’t say these things… why did you- 

Lei: But… your feelings… it’s all… a lie… I'm sorry.

Lei: Vail… Forget me… and.. goodbye…

And thus her green eyes flutter shut and they do not open again. She lets out the softest and shakiest sigh — her last breath, and no more air enters or escapes her lips. Like a candle extinguished out by the tiniest breath, the life in her has been snuffed out. This bud has wilted before it had the chance to bloom.

Vail: Lei?

There is no reply. Only the sounds of his own harsh breathing.

Still holding her in his arms, he bends his head over and tries to listen for a heartbeat. There is none.

Alone in the barn, holding the body of the woman he loved, Vail bends his head over and cries. 

He could not protect her. 

He could not save her.

 “The Truth”

He brings the body back so Elise and Ceres and the others can see, holding it like it is something precious. 

Before they burn (?) the body, he gently brushes her hair from her face. If it weren’t for the blood, it would look like she’s sleeping. 

Ceres is heavily distraught and unstable over this so they have to sedate her over this. She straight up breaks down when she sees the body.

Elise seems unaffected on the outside but she breaks down when she's alone later. 

Elise: I see. 

and that is all that you get from her. 

Later (maybe a few days later?) Elise shows Vail certain pages from Lei that were in her lab notebook. They state:

"The sedative I have been giving Vail seems to have trace amounts of another drug. Elise suspects it has been contaminated with Bessenheit or related family of drugs. Likely, raw materials have been contaminated with it, possibly from Chemical Y because it is a liquid reagent that may have Bessenheit dissolved into it. Further investigation is required.” 

There are many drawings of what appear to be metabolic pathways of how drugs affect human systems, lots of complicated diagrams of the brain, thyroid, etc. and very neat handwriting. There are also various chemical names and recipes listed. 

There is a list of objectives written on the side:

Determine the contaminant → likely Bessenheit 

Determine the source of contamination → likely raw materials? Check out Black Market? 

Determine a possible solution to reverse the lingering effects of the drug → possibly xxx hormone pathway + xyz metabolic pathway + chemical X 

Tell Vail about the situation when prior objectives are mostly complete.

A sticky note says: Go to Black market — Flash — xx pm. It is dated for the day she died.

Elise tells him about a drug her and Lei’s former company was developing that causes the taker of the drug to develop an obsession with the giver of the drug… = Bessenheit 

Elise also tells him since he’s only been getting trace amounts, it should not affect him as much as it did the other test subjects, but clearly, he suffers from some symptoms. 

She explains she and Lei started suspecting that he was under the influence of this drug around 3-4 months ago, hence why they had him stay away from her until they could find a solution to it but… unfortunately they were still working on it when Lei died. 

She does not explicitly tell him Lei was looking into this that day she died, but he can see from the sticky note that was definitely the case. 

So how much of his feelings were real and how many were from the drug? There is no clear distinction between them — it is muddled and murky… 

Lei died believing that his feelings were all a lie fed to him by the drug. That is why she could not accept them, because she believed they were not real. 

She died believing that she ruined something for him when she was trying to help him (with the sedative). She died believing that it was all her fault… 

She told him to forget her because she wants him to no longer be affected by the drug. She wants him to live his own truth, untainted by all the lies. 

He will never be able to accomplish her dying wish to forget about her… Is that due to the drug or did it simply enhance his true feelings? 

They will never find out this truth… because she no longer exists in this world.

[bepractical]

Kin Season 1 Superlatives 

I'm just about ready to reignite my Daredevil obsession, but before my page becomes flooded with pics of my favorite vigilante in black pjs… 

I thought I’d do one last Kin post to close out my recaps, at least until Season 2. Here are my superlatives for season 1 of Kin. It was much harder than I expected.

Favorite Character: Michael Kinsella.

You won’t believe it but I really had to think this one through. How much of my love for Michael has to do with Charlie Cox? Have I been blinded by those sad, puppy-dog eyes? Amanda is my close second and her storyline and development is just as satisfying. In the end there are a few things that put Michael in the top spot. The first is Anna. Michael and Anna’s relationship is one of my favorite things about the series. More on that in a minute. Second, I love how Michael is portrayed. It’s a conscious decision to make the family hitman a quiet, grieving man, who is soft and shy on the outside but a stone cold killer who struggles with expressing himself and with detachment on the inside. His health problems provided some of the most intense moments of the series and he has wonderful, multidimensional relationships with Anna, Jimmy, Amanda, Birdy, Jamie and Frank. He’s a good character who is well acted and I cannot wait to see what happens with him next season. 

Least Favorite Character: It’s Frank.

Of course it is. I’ve said it before and I stand firm in the assertion, rewatching is not kind to Frank. It’s not that Frank is uninteresting or poorly written. He has a great story arc and Aidan Gillen does a wonderful job with a pretty thankless character. Frank is written as a man who worked hard to secure his place in the family. He kept them well respected and relevant, but failed to provide the might needed to survive. Even before the events at the beginning of the season he had a fraught relationship with Eamon. Once the shit hit the fan, Frank reacted in the worst way possible. He panicked, stopped looking for solutions, and took out his frustration on the people around him. He was pathetic, sexist and incompetent, and a terrible, emotionally abusive dad to Eric. 

Favorite Villain: Eamon Cunningham.

Eamon is frustrating, foolish, stubborn and full of hubris. He’s entirely dependent on his ability to intimidate and outright murder his enemies. The minute someone bites back he’s floundering, with no choice but more force. He’s the Goliath to the Kinsella’s David. He’s also a sucker for his ex wife and his little son in Spain. Eamon is a great antagonist and Ciarán Hinds plays him well.

Character Who Benefited Most from the Recaps: Jimmy Kinsella.

The slow watch I did for the recaps, where I paid special attention to details and wasn’t doing ten other things while I watched, was so good for Jimmy. There are a lot of small details to his performance, and most often they involve him loving and reaching out to his loved ones. He’s an incredibly emotional character and the dichotomy between him and Michael is fascinating. 

Biggest Fuck Up: Eric Kinsella.

Character or plot point, it’s all about Eric. He’s a loveable fuck up, but a fuck up all the same. His horribly planned, anger fueled drive by was undoubtedly the biggest fuck up of the season. 

Character Who Made the Largest Impact in the Least Amount of Screentime: Bren Kinsella.

His appearance answered so many questions I didn’t even know I had concerning Michael, Jimmy and Frank. He’s the missing piece in the Kinsella crime family and I cannot wait to see more of him.

Character I Want to See More Of: Birdy Goggins nee Kinsella

Birdy played a supporting role in most of her relationships this series, whether she was subtly manipulating Michael or bolstering Frank. My favorite scenes of hers, though, were her conversations with Eamon. First at Jamie’s funeral, when she outright asks him to give the Kinsellas Caolan Moore and second, when she approaches him in the parking garage and tries to broker a peace. I want to see more of Birdy when she’s not propping up other characters. I am also dying to see her, Frank and Bren. 

Favorite Ship: Michael/Amanda/Jimmy.

Aka my favorite slow moving disaster. Every combination of these three is a delightful mess.  

Favorite Family Relationship: Michael and Anna.

This is a show about family, so the options are many. In the end I have to go with Michael and Anna. They are the same flavor of awkward ducks and seeing them circle each other and try to carve out a relationship is stressful and endearing. Big props to Hannah Adeogun for mirroring some of Charlie’s mannerisms for Michael, right down to his awkward smile. 

Most Shocking Death: Jamie Kinsella.

In retrospect there’s enough foreshadowing packed in that first episode that his death should have been visible from the moon, but on first watch I found it truly shocking. 

Favorite Storyline: The Kinsellas do a robbery.

From Frank’s mischievous smile when the idea is first brought up, to Eric and Jimmy’s delight at Michael’s participation, to Michael’s dry delivery when threatening Con, to the family celebration when the job is done, this was a delight all around. Was it a good idea? Probably not. But everybody loves a heist and I love that this one hinged on Con Doyle loving his son more than he cares about Eamon’s drugs. 

Least Favorite Storyline: Eamon and Angela go to an ayahuasca ceremony.

I love Angela and the hold she has on Eamon. I even love getting to see more of Eamon’s life outside of him terrorizing the Kinsellas. It’s the muddy symbolism, man. 

Saddest Scene: Jimmy's eulogy.

This is a sad, sad series. After much contemplation, I’m gonna go with Jimmy’s eulogy at Jamie’s funeral for the saddest scene. It is a certified tearjerker. Emmett J Scanlan does a tremendous job in his portrayal of grief, with his strained, tearfilled smiles as he struggles to talk about his dead son. We also get a brief recognition of the pain Michael has caused his own daughter (which leads to another sad scene). The scene ends with a cut to Amanda with a crying Jimmy beside her, who has finally surfaced long enough from her own grief to see how painful this is for Jimmy.  

Most Satisfying Scene: Amanda ferrets out the mole.

Everything about this plan is immensely satisfying to me. The minute Amanda suspects someone is working against the family, she uses her deductive reasoning to figure it out. She confronts Kem at her house, with Jimmy unknowingly on standby, and weasels the truth out of him. Look at that shot. Awesome. 

Most Stressful Scene: Michael freaks out during the hit on Caolan Moore.

So many options and almost all of them have to do with Michael. I’m going with the first scene to truly stress me out in the series, Michael trapped in the bar after he kills Caolan Moore. It ends with him face-to-face with Mini Michael, the hitman who killed Jamie, but he can't focus his eyes to shoot. So stressful.

Most Cathartic Scene: Michael yells at Amanda after the cafe shootout.

If you’re looking for catharsis, this may not be the series for you. There is, however, one scene that really brings it home. You know the one. It’s Michael screaming out his feelings after the shooting at the cafe. If ever a character needed a moment to release his emotions, it’s Michael. 

And that's all she wrote. Feel free to post our own, or say if you agree or disagree. The list I used is below. Hope to see you next season!

Favorite Character

Least Favorite Character

Favorite Villain

Character Who Benefited Most from the Recaps

Biggest Fuck Up

Character Who Made the Largest Impact in the Least Amount of Screentime

Character I Want to See More Of 

Favorite Ship

Favorite Family Relationship

Most Shocking Death

Favorite Storyline

Least Favorite Storyline

Saddest Scene

Most Satisfying Scene

Most Stressful Scene

Most Cathartic Scene

[pandasmagorica]

First watch: 3 Will Be Free

tl;dr - Even though I'm not a big crime series fan, I loved this series and had to weigh whether to promote it to my top ten (I didn't, but it was close). There are some cringe moments and plenty of gun violence, not that much assault but still some. The plot holes weren't too distracting. Transgender viewers may be uncomfortable for episodes 1-3, but there's a real payoff for sticking with the series with a super-strong trans character.

This post is intended to be PG but the series itself is rated 18+ (I think for violence) just so you know.

Had been putting off watching this because it's not QL, even though I've watched other Thai non-QL (Gift Shop for People You Hate, 55:15 Never Too Late, and Midnight Museum). But after seeing some positive mentions about it here on Tumblr, decided to give it a try. And was very glad I did. And also questioning the take that it's not QL.

After seeing Tay Tawan in Dark Blue Kiss and the DBK prequels, as well as a guest turn in Midnight Museum, I totally did not expect his Shin character in 3WBF. Mostly mild mannered, a big contrast to his character in the three Kiss series, but don't underestimate him - he can take some wild action as well if that's his only choice at the moment - and there are some moments.

I also knew Gunsmile from his wisecracking ghost in He's Coming to Me. Here he's quite dark as a hitman.

As for guest appearances, I knew Sing from the same series as well as in Not Me and The Warp Effect, and Sine from brief appearances in He's Coming to Me and Secret Crush on You as well as her long-ago star turn in the horror movie Nang Nak. Sing's and Sine's appearances here were quite brief, but the story is the story and hopefully I will see them again in other work.

I've seen director Jojo's work before on Gay OK Bangkok and its sequel, which I liked, well, okay, but didn't love, as well as The Warp Effect, which I greatly enjoyed.

Enough introduction. On to the series itself.

The story gets off to a quick start. Neo (Joss Way-ar), a hustler and stripper, is having an affair with Va (Sine Inthira), the wife of a mob boss. When the husband Mr. Thana (Big Sarut) finds out, he sends hitmen Phon (Max Nuttawut) and Ter (Gunsmile Chanagun) to kill Neo, but Ter winds up accidentally killing Va instead. Neo runs from them to a dance bar run by Miw (Mild Lapassalan) only to discover Shin (Tay Tawan), who he seems to know, in the men's room. Phon chases after Neo only to be killed by Miw after being surprised to discover Shin (who he calls Mr. Shin, because Shin is Mr. Thana's son) and dropping his gun during the ensuing fight.

So now Neo, Shin, and Miw are on the run. The rest of the series is them trying to dodge the people who want to kill them and find a way to safety.

Except...Phon's lover Mae (Jennie Panhan), a transwoman (so is the actress), insists on joining Ter on the pursuit so she can get revenge for Phon's death.

This story had me with severe split allegiances: I wanted Neo, Shin, and Miw to get away safely, but I also found myself rooting for Mae as well. While the show mostly focused on the trio and their relationship, they gave ample time and character development to Mae and Ter. I'd say Mae's character underwent the most transformation of any of the characters, and that's not a pun. In the eyes of this queer, admittedly cis, male, this show has major positive transfemale rep. She is an incredibly strong characters.

On to the cringe moments: For a series that was as positive about a major transgender character, Neo's trans landlady and her roommate were absolute cringe and there only for comic effect. Their screen time was mercifully brief, but instantly too long each time they showed up. It also happens early in the series, before we've been able to fully see that Mae's character is going to be handled well. Their parts could have been eliminated with zero impact on the plot. I am completely mystified as to how a series that handled a major transgender character so well could fail so badly for the guest transgender characters.

So, I would recommend this show to my trans friends with the warning that it might be rocky going the first few episodes.

Spoilers follow

Okay, there are definitely some plot holes, mostly having to do with logistics: Why is Shin in the dance bar when Neo comes in? Why do some characters, such as Boss John, put themselves in danger when they don't need to? Why would the maid give Miw her uniform? How does Mae find Mr. Thana at the end? Why isn't Mr. Thana protected? With all the flashback reveals throughout the series, it's strange these aren't addressed.

But, aside from all the deaths along the way, it's a mostly happy ending for the trio. And Mae gets the right-sized amount of revenge and affirms her existence, at the cost of learning some hard lessons of the lengths she's willing to go to.

Is this QL? I tend to be expansive in what I'd consider QL and I'd say yes. The development of the poly relationship (even though it doesn't stay that way) is fairly queer as in LGBTQ+ and features at least one of the tropes, attraction at first sight. It doesn't matter to me that it's not the main focus of the series. Your mileage may vary.

It's a great series and I could eventually watch it again.

[khr-guilded-cage]

About this plot...

Why would Luna even accept begin Donna in first place?

She's a zoologist and a twenty three grow ass adult woman, not a 'girl', with a life of her own, spend years studying for a job she liked. They expect she will agree to abandon the life she build and drag her loved ones to do the same? To fight and sacrifice for the Vongola?

Switch her dream job with begin stuck behind a desk ordering deaths? Obey the orders of a man that feel entitled to her life? A early and painful death for her and all her family? Why, in god's name, would she even accept that?

Lol. Nope.

She's a adult, a far different situation then Tsuna, not a naive and spiness abused fourteen years old child. Luna has good friends and family that would not go along Timoteo's bullshit. They can't simple have some fake 'Guardians' stalk and chase her around at school, that would be weird at the workplace and all the so-called Guardians would have to be professional zoologists to be there. Also, her real Guardians would stop them. Home Tutor won't work either. How you going to approach her? How to convince her to help you? Using force would be more difficult in this case, she'd never forget or forgive and you are giving her a position of power. She will get vendetta on you easily.

Its difficult to manipulate a adult you don't know from childhood. She would not accept his 'kindly grandfather act', Luna already has a loving father and good friends. And not a single one of them is under Vongola's thumb. Timoteo and Iemitsu won't have any support to gang up Luna, to make her bow to Vongola's demands and impose their will and wants on her, he won't he able to drown her voice and use emotional manipulation. With a very unimpressed Harry behind her, even less.

Entitled Bastard

Timoteo thinks he has the right to dictate people's life and I forever hate him for it.

She grew up in a fairly healthy habitat, if some of the 'Guardians' Vongola introduce to her start treating her with the same ignorance and pushiness Tsuna's did, Luna and her friends would simply refuse the 'friendship'.

And Harry, he will take a good look at this manipulate old man trying to hijack his friend's life and go basilik, Luna have a literal professional in 'senile-old-bastards-who-want-a-kid-soldier-to- fight-for-them'. This power-hungry sly old man is going to suffer. Good.

Timoteo would probally attempt to break their friendship or kill Harry after meeting him. Because he sure as hell isn't having anything of Vongola's bullshit. Harry would be seen as obstacle in getting his obedient puppet heir under his control, a threat to the greedy and arrogant Vongola.

Reborn's a bully (not 'buts' or 'ands') and he would remind them of that bloody bastard Snape. Abusive Teachers are not welcome in their household. Think the Arcobaleno curse is bad? Clearly haven't meet a pissed off Hermione yet.

And if she wasn't a Sky? I would like to see them try to marry her off.

Dino...means well. But still revealed her existence to Vongola, which will probally create a rift between them for contribuition in the attempt to ruin her life. He has a lot of flaws, one of them is the imposed relationship and refusal to goddanmit listen that pretty much everyone in KHR has. I high doubt her friends would like him very much and Luna would pick their side over his. Dino would want her to be Decimo against her will and Luna's family would hate him for it.

Try thay loyalty test thing he did to Gokudera? They will never forgive him. Luna would feel betrayed and Harry would be livid. Its far too much Dumbledore 'tests', where he put a butch of kids in danger for the 'Greater Good'.

Dino tattled to Vongola about her existence, they didn't knew about her! And because of him, Luna would have to go hidding and running from Vongola to fight to her freedom, he ruined her life out of sheer selfishness and dumbness. She has a life already, your bastard! I'd never forgive him.

To 'ensure she succeeded and thrived'? SHE ALREADY DID! BY HERSELF! AS A ZOOLOGIST!

Dino and the others would be called out on his crap a lot. At the best Timoteo would get another heir beside Xanxus wanting him dead in a gutter. Good for her.

Timoteo and Vongola weren't her family. Neither is Dino Cavallone.

She's just fine where she is and owns you nothing. Its your fucked up, your mistake. Luna's not paying for it. So piss off, Vongola.

[fictionfixations]

hhhi guys wanna see me talk about what anime/manga i like

ok

so

my mal page looked kind of boring so i decided 'why not talk about what im fixating on'

and then it. expanded from there... (to be honest i think i just like yapping about anything and everything to people)

so im.

if i ever say a word that doesnt make sense. or well is typed then just know. that probably isnt meant to be there but i wasnt paying attention

also if i drop a line of thought suddenly. know that it is because i started typing on a different part because i kept hopping onto different areas and adding things that i mightve forgotten to go back to because i kept getting hit with thoughts on what to add

----

Current Fixations: Twisted Wonderland, Lout of Count's Family, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint??? (i wanna get into it), Honkai: Star Rail uhh i cant remember anything else (i am slowly crumbling into a mess of sobbing noises as i delve deeper into the stories)

Potential: Debut or Die???? It seems interesting so far but I'm worried about how wacky idol drama might be. (..I remember googling something about it and there's just something about Park Moondae and.. pADS? or like tampons idk? And I'm pretty sure it's made up for drama (in story) but ??????) I really really like Dungeon Meshi. It's not something that's consumed my life that it makes up a lot of what I think of so uh not what I consider a fixation, but I like it and am excited to see it continued. (Yes I know there's a finished manga but I don't wanna get spoiled! This is genuinely a show I got into WITHOUT SPOILERS?? Which is insane because I usually get hit with MAJOR spoilers (end game type lol) that then make me think 'oh cool, that happens?' and makes me watch. But Dungeon Meshi had NONE OF THAT! I like cooking animes A LOT and just found it so I decided to get into it. It was great and I was not expecting there to suddenly be plot in my cooking anime but I don't hate it, it's really cool. I'm hyped.) Also Apothecary Diaries is great. I didn't get spoiled on that one either, I just got into it thinking it'd be something I could just put in the background (I did have it open though in dub so trying to pay attention while doing other stuff) and then it turned out to be actually really good. So, wow. The Promised Neverland season one was PEAK, best thing ever. Season two, uhh... (I did read the manga for that one though!) It also made me understand why MAL separates seasons, which made me very annoyed when I first made an account trying to add everything I watched and trying to add all the MHA seasons barely remembering which one had which. All Saints Street is cozy to watch. I have like the 3rd favorited because of that one episode where they're at like a play or something and Neil (with the help of like the Demon King I think??) suddenly busts out this really cool move. I want to read it's manga (listen I'm going to refer to it as manga because that's the term I'm used to otherwise I will be so confused) but MAL doesn't have that entry..?? It was in whatever state it's called when they're added but you can't interact with it because it's not added added. And now I can't find it so unfortunate. Apparently it has more gayness??

My thing is that I get fixated on something and devour so much content regarding it, and then drop it like a month later with little to no interest. Sometimes I come back to it but not as into it. (Sometimes I stay with it longer then that but I have my finger in a LOT of different fandom pies.)

Things I wanna get into: Black Butler, One Piece, Heaven's Official Blessing, Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (something like that i forgot the name), Bleach, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, I'm Not That Kind of Talent, Naruto, Honkai Impact 3rd I went through Persona 3 Reload but I haven't seen the anime-related stuff to it yet. Have no idea what happens in The Answer. Vanitas no Carte. I watched one season and then stopped because I wanted to watch it while super focusing because I wanted to really pay attention. ..And then I never started. I wanna see what the hype about Nier:Automata is about but for the life of me I just can't get into it. Kind of want to get into Pokemon but I think I'm way too many years late on that train. Also I've started blanking out on what's going on with the.. Horizons?? Anime?? The new Pokemon anime.

Was fixated on but kinda not so much now? (Still keeping up with it): Oshi no Ko, My Hero Academia, Jujtusu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs

Manga I want to read: Toilet-Bound Hanako Kun?? I saw the anime but that apparently skipped some arcs and then I never got into reading it. I finished Hunter x Hunter's anime and wanted to get into the manga to continue from it but then I never did it so oops but I don't remember what happened. Haha did I mention I forget things easy? ..Maybe Solo Leveling? I watched the anime but I honestly don't like the appearance change. It's probably just because of preference since it's not bad it's just not a thing I like. But I feel like I should because it is probably interesting maybe???? S-Classes That I Raised. I think the being looked down upon because 'so and so' would break me but TIME TRAVEL? Also story because goddamn like the beginning part?

Old fixations but will still like: Assassination Classroom was great to me. Ending always got me crying, and I like interacting with stuff related to it. Violet Evergarden is 10/10 always makes me cry even on rewatch, what a masterpiece. There's also Demon Slayer which I know the ending of but I really like seeing it brought to life in the anime. Hyped for the movies but also hell because movies take so long to appear in a streaming platform and already spoilers. Movie quality is crazy though so excited. Anyone remember that one fan animation of Zenitsu AND* (i said x but not in a shippy way but an 'and' way and i realize it could be taken the wrong way SO) Kaigaku or something that looked genuinely like an actual thing?? There's Spy x Family's movie which I haven't been spoiled yet but AHHHH. Danganronpa was a big fixation I had for awhile to be honest. Yuri on Ice was SO GOOD??? I do this thing where something gets popular and so I avoid it as much as I can. And then I turn around late to the party and get into it. I shouldn't but I do. I can't believe I didn't get into it when it got super big but I also probably wouldn't really remember what happened by then. Genshin Impact consumed my life until I ran out of storage so I got into Honkai: Star Rail. I'm not too too into Genshin anymore but trying to keep up with it? Kind of?

Dead fixation??: Fairy Tail I think was one of the first few anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. And also I don't remember anything that happened so... I kind of got into EDENS ZERO but I'm not that fixated and I'm not the biggest fan of fanservice. That one episode where, well, spoilers, but y'know the one where suddenly everything is going wrong and people are dying and then it turns out it's like a weird sort of power the protagonist who I cannot remember the name of for the life of me but is like Lucy but other character?? Her?? has??? It got dark QUICK and that was cool to see. There was also Sword Art Online? I really liked it but I have no idea what's going on now. One of my favorites was like Gun Gale Online to be honest though.

it. was originally meant to be just current fixations. but then i thought isnt that too little??? so then i started talking about things i kinda liked but wasnt sure on and then it spiraled from there

[bitchofdarkness]

@mochacake2016 looks like a church to me. the door at the back, the benches. even the decoration on the wall looks like crosses. The colorful glass for the door on the left side. On further inspection, when Sergeant Kim wakes up, he looks like he unwillingly fell asleep. So maybe Eun-hyeok only found him there after he managed to make it out of Bamseom. And if we remember correctly, Sang-won and the thugs in s1 spoke of a church they came across, so it might be close to the facility.

gonna address some other things you said under the cut:

As for the part about a photo on twitter, I don't have twitter, so Idk xDD

Also, yes, wholeheartedly believe Dr. Lim would do anything to see what happens. He doesn't give two shits about humans or monsters, he just wants to watch like a voyeur or maybe even turn into a monster himself. he's super fascinated with that whole process and can't comprehend how it happens, where it's rooted and if it's even preventable. Which drove his scientist self mad. I don't think he ever had a cure to begin with. He only said that so he could safely experiment to his hearts content xD

Yes, it was Seok-chan who was held up by some creepy as boy with glasses and a striped shirt. He reminded me of Dennis the Menace xD Sgt Kim was held down by the girl, but not hurt fatally.

I can't stand MS Tak, he is unable to communicate properly, which is dangerous given the position he has. He is the one who ordered Sergeant Kim and the others to kill all monsters, only to then do a 180 and change his agenda. I was mad at Yeong-hu for how he treated the baby monster, but in retrospect, he did only what he was supposed to do and that's why he got angry with Tak in ep1 when he saw he spared the baby monster, because he KNEW the mother monster was harmless as well, but Tak said nothing to keep her alive. I can't stand those types of people who just do as they please and not keep their word or even fail to address changes at a timely manner.

Yeah, in the webtoon Sang-wook (the real one) was a damn detective, not a hitman. Him and Yu-ri survived, both children survived as well, Jae-heon died pretty early on and whatever was between him and Ji-su wasn't really romantic. The biggest shippy vibes I got was between Hyun-su and Ji-su, not Hyun-su and Eun-yu. Hell, even Eun-Hyeok had more chemistry in a shippy sense with Hyun-su xD so there's that. Then Sang-won never possessed anyone (dunno if he even existed, neither Yi-kyung a thing), the dude that was like him in the Webtoon was just part of the thugs that came to Green Home. Du-sik didn't try to stop Hyun-su, he fought him and it was Eun-hyeok who stopped him from killing anyone in the end. That slime monster was a child that had hidden from the monsters after watching his mom die by a monsters hand. It saved the boy and befriended him because it was also a child. They should've conveyed that to drive the point home that some monsters are harmless.

Jae-hwan already turned into that horrid monster while they were still in the Green Home Mansion xD Also, they completely disregarded why Hyun-su managed to stay human for so long (holding onto the possibility to watch Maria From The Sky). They also took Eun-hyeok's nickname on the internet "Crucru" and made it the name of the "curse".

Idk, a lot of that was changed and that's probably why I get pissed when other people start whining about season 2 being DiFfErEnT than season 1 and super different from the webtoon....like....bro they basically told the entire webtoons story in season 1 already xD wtf did they expect?? Of course it'll be different and have different characters, plots and povs. Sorry, but sometimes I'm not able to stand so much stupidity anymore. People are so entitled and DUMB nowadays, they don't even really watch the media they consume, they just complain when it's not the special made stuff they wish it was. That's what fanworks are for xD

Sweet Home 3 glimpses 👀 subtitles by yours truly

[digihindnews]

Barry Season 4: Release Date, Cast, Plot And Everything We Know So Far.

Barry Season 4: When your protagonist is a convicted killer, it's tough to keep up the narrative. That's the situation Bill Hader's HBO series Barry finds itself in after the tense conclusion of its third installment. Season 3's conclusion may have felt like the series finale, but the fourth season of TV's most critically acclaimed black comedy has been given the go-ahead. What can we anticipate from Barry's fourth season? Barry Berkman, the former hitman turned actor, was last seen being arrested after being lured into an ambush by acting coach Gene Cousineau (Henry Winkler). This must be the end, right? Most hitmen won't hit a man who is locked up in a cell. Hader, speaking with The Hollywood Reporter, said that they are far from finished with this issue. Saying, "I've always thought of this as one big Vanity Fair article," he elaborated. This is the part where it says 'And then he got caught, and then this happened,' which is my favorite because I love true crime. It's not as simple as that. Forget the repercussions; we're right back here. The show's creator and star, Bill Hader, will direct all eight episodes of the upcoming fourth season. Hader previously directed 10 episodes over the first three seasons. But what will he be directing, and will he be wearing an orange jumpsuit?

Barry Season 4: Release Date

Season one premiered in March of 2018, and season two in March of 2019, but season three won't air until April 2022. Season four of Barry is expected to air in the spring of 2023, which makes sense given that Hader had already begun writing for it before the third season had even been filmed. As with previous seasons, the show will premiere on HBO Max in the United States and then air on Sky and NOW in the United Kingdom simultaneously with the American premiere.

Barry Season 4: Cast

There will be a full cast resumé in the fourth season of Barry, including everyone who played a significant role in seasons two and three. A few examples are Bill Hader, Sarah Goldberg, Henry Winkler, and Stephen Root.

Barry Season 4 Read on to find out everything that's left to know about Barry Season 4! - Bill Hader as Barry Berkman - Sarah Goldberg as Sally Reed - Henry Winkler as Gene Cousineau - Stephen Root as Monroe Fuches - Anthony Carrigan as NoHo Hank - Michael Irby as Cristobal Sifuentes - D’Arcy Carden as Natalie Greer - James Hiroyuki Liao as Albert Nguyen

Barry Season 4: Plotline

Even with Barry getting at least some justice for some of his crimes, Hader thinks there are plenty of stories to tell here. Barry season 4 could go in any number of directions, as the show's star isn't afraid to take it in unconventional or even bleak ones. The actor has remained tight-lipped about Season 4's plot details, but he did say he was "surprised" when rumors began to circulate that Season 3 would be the series finale. Concerns have been raised about Sally, as well as Cousineau and Hank. "We've just gotten deeper into them and what they're experiencing, and I want to see how they handle that," Hader told the Hollywood Reporter. Hader has made it clear that the epidemic of murder is spreading throughout the world of his show, which includes those other characters as well. During an interview with The Wrap, Hader referred to "Barry's disease," which afflicts not only Barry but also his sometimes-partner Sally (Sarah Goldberg) and NoHo Hank (Anthony Carrigan), a member of the Chechen mafia. Now they kill one another, and history shows that murderers are rarely happy people. Hader responded to the criticism that the show had become too dark and had lost all traces of the comedy for which it was initially marketed. Is it as bleak as the news makes it seem? he asked The Wrap. Actually, no. Could it possibly be a reaction to recent events? Yeah. Is it a representation of the way people have acted toward one another hopefully throughout history? Maybe. Not sure. Well, that's just how I feel.

Is season 4 of Barry going to be the last?

There has been no official word on the matter, but Henry Winkler seems to think it's a possibility. When pushed, "Bill and Alec never try to stretch ." When asked by Variety about the show's possible cancellation, Winkler said, "they don't want to push it." No need to freak out just yet, though; neither Hader nor Berg have commented. We have compiled a list of the top drama series if you're looking for some quality viewing. Please share this post with the people you care about, and encourage them to check out Digi Hind News so that they can stay up to date on everything that’s been happening recently. Read the full article

[candice127]

You know what I constantly think about?

Rio and Beth actually went through a car wash together. A car wash.

And Beth thought he was gonna pop her in the middle of it with people around 😅🤣

[thefairyletters]

NaruSaku Fanfics

I wouldn't say much – I love NaruSaku and I hate to see great works shadowed behind the piles of popular NS stories that I never have liked as much except for a few, which also I'll drop below in the list.

I'll update this list whenever I come across a story that I particularly enjoy or finds worth spreading word across. So be sure to like and reblog this post so you can revisit it to add new story in your reading pile later.

Also, genres vary and are not mentioned, but does it make any difference as long as the story is good?

Warning: super long post featuring beautiful, beautiful stories that you wouldn't regret reading. I swear. I'm positive. Contains SNS and other side pairings.

Without further ado;

How I fell in love with my best friend: Krapo || ff.net || M || complete

How the little blond boy Sakura had always known had changed, changing as well her feelings. The unfolding of their life, while Naruto worked to become the best Hokage and she faced her own emotions. Growing Love.

(I have nothing but upmost reverence for this story. This author writes one of the nest NS and I have loved all. NS is beautiful and Sakura is badass. Everything we already know is here and more.)

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Dangerous infiltration mission: Krapo || ff.net || M || complete

Naruto and Sakura are send by the Hokage for a difficult infiltration mission. They will have to face more than just the danger itself as they will have to keep their cover to be fake husband and wife credible. how it will impact the relationship between the two ninja. Growing Love. Misunderstanding.

(If you loved the aforementioned story, you'll love this one too. Mutual pining.)

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All over again: Krapo || ff.net || M || post-war || complete

Sasuke come back, Team seven is reunited. But Sakura has lost Naruto. How will she make him fall in love with her again? What other difficulties lies ahead of them?

(Naruto loses memory. SasuSaku angst but not in romantic sense and I loved it all. Misunderstanding and more mutual pining. And I'm in love with this story too.)

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Hit the floor running: Sakurablossom009 || A03 || M (but unnecessary) || Modern Hitman/Robbers AU || complete

Life was going great, Sakura thought. She was penniless, stranded in Europe without a way home, her fiancee had just dumped her for another woman AND her new companion was quite possibly a thief. How could things get any worse? Wait...was that guy pointing a gun at her?

(Now, personally, I don't prefer modern AU, but this story really had interesting characterisation and more character depth. NaruSaku is pretty spot on. It also features SasuHina and bamf!Hinata)

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The greatest pretenders: snowyseas || ff.net || M || Borutoverse || ongoing

Fifteen years is a long time to not talk to someone you consider your best friend, and is made even more difficult when they (and you) are married. The things Sakura should have confronted Naruto about never came to fruition, but as an old saying goes, "the truth will always be revealed".

(Your typical I-made-a-wrong-choice-but-now-can-be-done story but unlike many other stories in this they don't admit their love for each chapter at the first chapter itself. In fact, it feels so canon and you can almost superimpose it upon the canon. Sakura is mentally strong and knows what's right. )

.

He was the sun: SavageTrickster || ff.net || T || Canonverse || ongoing

He had come a long way - from a lonely orphan ostracized by everyone to a loved hero. He deserved all these. His Hokage dream to come true. All the ramen he could eat. - Her eyes fell on a certain Hyuuga seated close enough for accidental touches. Her heart sank a little at a harsh whisper of reminder - And a deserving girl...who could give him all her love.

(So far so good. It's ongoing, and is at chapter 3. Sakura leaves Konoha much like how Naruto did, to explore the world aka seeing my headcanon in writing.)

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Wilderness: Kanji no Sakka || M || canondivergent || ongoing

As the war screeches to a temporary halt, Naruto leaves the battlefield on a unique mission only he can complete. Sakura is ordered to go with him. In the days that follow their bond is changed forever.

(Although I hate any explicit stories that involve characters below age 17, I give this a pass because of the uniqueness of plot and characterisation. It has fine lemons that comes with a good plot.)

.

How It Should Have Been: OfPaintAndOil || ff.net || T || canon divergent || oneshot

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Sasuke was supposed to be the dark one, the unredeemable one. Naruto was the bright one, the good one. It wasn't supposed to be like this, with blood on his hands and glowing red eyes and a grin. Naruto was supposed to make everything better, and maybe he did, in the end, but Sakura had never expected the end to look quite like this.

(Featuring Yandere!Naruto. It leaves you wanting for more and is a fascinating read. It's dark themed so proceed with caution as your favorite character might or might not be dead.)

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The Best Dates are the Cheap Ones: Shivakashi || ff.net || T || post!Timeskip || Oneshot

The whole point was to get the best date; that meant the richest and classiest guy, right? Sakura realizes what she has taken for granted and Ino learns a lesson in value.

(Sakura learns her lesson and snatches her boy. InoNaru is worth noting. Not the best characterisation of Sakura but bear with her jealousy for that is the reason why NS fluff exists. Story itself is very light and entertaining.)

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mangoes and strawberries: ohthelinsanity || ff.net || T || postwar || oneshot

Sakura Haruno was elbow deep in Naruto Uzumaki's guts when he asked her to marry him. It was so not the right time. But she still said yes.

(This story just screams NS upon every single line. Diabetes warning. Too cute for this world. One of the best NS fluff I've read thus far. It kinda sticks to you forever!)

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18 minutes, 23 seconds: ohthelinsanity || ff.net || T || postwar || oneshot

in which Naruto asks Sakura about that time she literally reached into his chest and grabbed his heart with her bare hand.

(Heartwarming. We all know how Sakura held Naruto's heart on her palms and how we love that moment. This is memory of that moment reminisced by our cutie pies.)

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One Big Uzumaki Family: John Smith || ff.net || T || postwar || Complete

A set of drabbles revolving around Naruto, Sakura, and their children. It turns out that, when the war ends, these two get busy. Real busy.

(IF YOU DON'T READ THIS MASTERPIECE HOW DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF NS FAN?!!! READ!!! This story should be on the top of your reading list.

UNDERRATED AF!

R e a d t h i s s t o r y and cry with me for this should have been canon. 100%)

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My Life Would Suck Without You: peanutbutter126 || ff.net || T || oneshot collection

Sometimes it's the smallest things that matter the most.

(Read this and then One big Uzumaki family. You'll feel super satisfied. I promise.)

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Colors and Carousels: Folle Sakura || ff.net || T || oneshot

She couldn't count the number of times she'd been mistaken for Naruto's girlfriend. Not that she minded. But Naruto acted like it was so… so… offensive.

(No words for this one. Just read and enjoy the confusion.)

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Let's Get Married: luvtoshi || ff.net || M || postwar || complete

It was supposed to be a simple solution to their immediate problems. But maybe they took more than they can chew?

(This is one of my few favorites that is also popular. Spot on characterization and beautiful relationship growth. This is one of the few stories that always stuck to me.)

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Chasing Smoke with Bare Hands: soulaire || ff.net || T || oneshot

"I could have loved her," Sasuke says flatly. "If she'd just given me the chance—" "Sakura gave you all the chances in the world," Kakashi cuts in, stern. "You underestimated her. And you underestimated her ability to walk away from you. At the core of it all, that's where things went wrong."

(This story is for those who loves both SS and NS but thinks Sakura deserves happier life than what she got in canon. Features NS and slight SS.)

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Touch: ohthelinsanity || ff.net || T || oneshot

Kakashi watches as his student grow to be more physically comfortable with one another. He finds it kinda ridiculous.

(Fluff. Feelings. Kakashi's fed up and might have diabetes from all the observation.)

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Moonlight shadows: luvtoshi || ff.net || T || oneshot

Sometimes, the moon brings out hidden feelings to the surface.

(Beautiful literature. NS feels. You can almost mistake it for canon with the way characters are written.)

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Seriously Serious: Damsel in Shining Armor || ff.net || T || modern AU || oneshot

He confessed to her when they first met. He confessed to her years after. He confessed to her almost everyday. Her response was almost always positive... So why the heck was he still single? "I love you." "Love you too. So is Sasuke-kun taken or not?"

(The only reason why I even picked this story is that it is a oneshot. I have very little interest in modern AU. But this one makes another exception. Pining. Love at first sight.)

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It was always you: luvtoshi || ff.net || M || postwar || complete

The war is long over. They have both grown. Now it's time to conclude their story. Naruto and Sakura.

(You know what, all stories from this author are just, Chef's kiss. )

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A Safe Pair of Hands: Kanji no Sakka || ff.net || T || oneshot

Sakura heeds a stern warning to make it clear how she feels about Naruto.

(Feels. You'll love this if you like first person pov. This story told from Sakura's pov.)

.

Other Dreams: tricksie || ff.net || M || oneshot

"Naruto, you shouldn't endanger yourself—" "Stop it," he snapped. Dropping his arm to hook under her seat, Naruto pulled her firmly onto his hip, locking her to him. Sakura gasped, suddenly aware of just how very close they were.

(Sexual tension. Romance. Leaves you wanting. Also, high on feels and lust on equal measure.)

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Heaven Unexpected: Folle || ff.net || M || oneshot

Because nothing can happen; it's Naruto. He always comes back. He's practically indestructible.

(Heavy on feels. There are chances that it might rain. Actually there are high chances. But oh well, it's beautiful and one of my favourites so here it goes.)

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Shade of the Leaf: Ravyn || ff.net || T || canon divergent || complete

Sasuke is back. Naruto has joined ANBU. Sakura is spending more time in the hospital than in the field. Team 7 struggles to redefine itself, because sometimes you don't know what you really want after all.

(Featuring Mature but still in-character!Naruto, Badass!Sakura, (Bit)Supportive!Sasuke along with Team 7 friendship. Mutual pining. Ending but with a lot loose ends.)

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Breaking Up Isn't that Hard to Do: Narf-for-the-Garthoc || ff.net || T || oneshot

This is not an epic tale of action, suspense and true love. Yeah, I'm disappointed, too.

(This is pure comedy. With a dash of romance. And insanity.)

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Steamy Encounters: Narf-for-the-Garthoc || ff.net || T || oneshot

A flurry of coincidences and fateful machinations bring Naruto and Sakura together at the local baths. Can they rein in their animal passions? And do you really think that's the kind of story I write?

(Just r e a d. Please.)

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Garden of Sanctuary: Nes Mikel || ff.net || T || Canon divergent || oneshot

An alternate ending to Naruto. The Heavens describe the Garden a peaceful paradise. The Hells describe the Garden a baneful prison. In here... which is it?

(This is part of a series which you can follow from the author's profile. This is the second part, but can be read exclusively. As far as the AU goes, this story and settings is brilliant and heartbreaking. This is told from Naruto's pov. To look at things from Sakura's, read the first part. It is multi-chaptered.)

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Complications: Geno Calamari || ff.net || T || canon divergent || oneshot

While capturing the Kyuubi, Uchiha Itachi finds true adversaries in the form of Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto.

(Wanna see NaruSaku teamwork? This is it! You wouldn't find it anywhere better. Strong!Naruto, Strong!Sakura versus Itachi Uchiha)

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Life is a waving feather: jusrecht || AO3 || T || AU || oneshot

Everyone thought they were inevitable.

(There's beauty in subtlety and this is that. Also, mentions of character death.)

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Home: kirabook || AO3 || T || AU || complete

Shinachiku finds himself in a strange place with little to no explanation. Everyone he knows is there, but why are they acting so strangely? Why do they seem so different? And where is his home? 

(Cute and heartwrenching at the same time. Cameo Stalker. Read this for NS family feels pre-marriage.)

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Things we never say: thekatthatbarks || AO3 || T || oneshot

She wished she knew how to hold things lightly. There were some things she was terrified of breaking. Whether it be from an honest misstep or simply because she could.

(Reminds you why we love NS so much.)

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Open seasons: sazzafraz || AO3 || T || SNS || postwar || oneshot

The way Sasuke comes home is less myth and more devastatingly embarrassing happenstance.

(Featuring badass!Sakura, obedient!Naruto and normal!Sasuke, as well as Sakura's commentary on her life)

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Five things Sakura will never tell Naruto: sowell || AO3 || T || AU || oneshot

Kunoichi know how to keep their secrets.

(NS relationship analysis story.)

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Artistic purposes: StormyInk || AO3 || M || AU || Oneshot

Sai finds his favorite drawing subjects a bit lacking of late, and he sets a plan into motion to draw his team mates together. Simply for the sake of his art, of course.

(Aka Sai is fed up from seeing his teammates dancing around each other and decides to help them get laid–the story. You gotta admit Sai is the best wingman.)

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I collect my tears (so I can drown you in them): amako || AO3 || T || AU || complete

The hardest thing is letting go. Or Sakura sees Naruto falling in love with Shikamaru a little more every day, and she does the only thing she can think of. Then it's only a matter of learning how to stop loving Naruto.

(Sakura and Angst that has nothing to do with Sasuke. Featuring Sakura-sensei. And Shikamaru. It's a great story if you know when to let go of canon)

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Stranger than the wild: kiddattwell || AO3 || M || SNS || postwar || Ongoing

The war is over and Sasuke is home for good, but Sakura can't choose between the boys she loves. Sasuke still has his demons and Naruto still fights them and Sakura still follows them both, but this time down a path that none of them expected.

(This is canon. It is the best SNS story I've ever read. Story told in SNS POV in rotation. Slow burn, pining and relationship complication. YOU GOTTA READ THIS, I INSIST!!!! Also features SaiIno and InoShika.)

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Bringing Back Sasuke: Blue Jeans || ff.net || T || post war || oneshot

Naruto brings Sasuke back to Sakura. Many, many times over. Sasuke does not appreciate; not the blood and definitely not the angst.

(I've read this story multiple times and it gets funnier and makes your heart hurt and swell simultaneously each time. NaruSaku wouldn't be blissfully happy together without Sasuke thrown somewhere in the mix, that's exactly why I love SNS. This story perfectly represents the dynamic of team 7.)

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Yurei: Kanji no Sakka || ff.net || T || AU || oneshot

The past should stay dead and buried, but it won't if Naruto can't let go.

(Not exactly my favourite story, but I liked the concept. We all know how stubborn Naruto is once decides on something. If he wants to become Hokage, he will become Hokage. If he believes in Sasuke, he will believe in him forever. If he loves Sakura, he will marry her – uh, or should have, very OCC of him that he didn't.)

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Tag NS fan you know so they don't miss any of this!