#I already posted a link once but I am cross-posting here to now don't mind doo doo doo

[forelevenses]

of matzo and the sniffles

rating: G fandom: team fortress 2 warnings: no archive warnings apply characters: scout (tf2), medic (tf2) pairing: scout (tf2)/medic (tf2) summary: Medic has been feeling under the weather, and Scout decides it's nothing soup can't cure. Written for the TF2 Rare Pair Mini-Week Day 2 prompt: 'Sweet'

with lovely art done by @verchielmarch​ ! 💕 read here or on ao3!

“Yeah... Uh-huh... Uh-huh... 'Course I got that down...” Scout crumbled the small sticky note with his free hand idly and flicked it straight to the wastebasket. Boom! Nothing but net! Let's see that fancy Spy do any better!

But before he could picture Spy worshiping his clearly superior paper ball throwing skills, an irate tone on the other side of the line killed his daydream and he groaned, “Oh come on Ma, will ya quit your worryin'? It's just soup, I got this! Look, I'll tell Doc you said 'Hi', alright? I gotta go,” He looked to his left. And he looked to his right.

“Love you too Ma, I'll talk to ya later,” he added softly and hung the phone back up.  

The base was quiet for the most part— a rare day off that everyone took no issue taking advantage of.

Well, almost everyone.

It started a few days ago with a sneeze. Doc paid no mind, what with all the birds hangin' around in the med-bay, of course he'd sneeze every once in a while. Not a big deal. But then the one sneeze turned into a few, then the sore throat came in, plus the fever and now the poor guy is stuck in his room with the worst “upper respiratory infection” he's had in years.

Or a cold, as Scout eloquently put it.

It broke ya heart lookin’ at the guy, all bedridden and miserable. Scout thought he hadn’t seen his Doc look that bad ever– he's even got him wearin' a mask whenever he stops by (and the guy's been elbow-deep in everyone's gaping chest with his bare hands before, so this had to be serious). He asked why he just can't point his Medigun straight at himself and bam! Cold gone! But the Doc sneezed, said he's tried that multiple times already in fact, and argued that even that can't cure the common cold.

And that's where Ma comes in. Cause you see, no fancy egghead (and he means 'egghead' with all the love and affection in the world, he swears it) science, mumbo-jumbo crap will fix colds. But his Ma's famous Matzo ball soup will definitely kick that cold's ass for sure! Whenever his brothers or him got sick, just a few spoonfuls of that and they'd be up and runnin' in no time at all! He didn't know what his Ma puts in it (well he does, that was the whole point of callin' her in the first place), but if this didn't end up helping his poor Doc then nothing will.

Scout looked over his scrawl once more: chicken, schmaltz, matzo meal, celery, carrots...

He ain't stupid, he can pull this off easy!

~

All right, perhaps there may have been some unforeseen difficulties.

Not entirely all his fault: the first store he went to only had the canned stuff and his Ma insisted the balls had to be homemade. So, Heavy and him drove all the way across town to the other grocery store to get the Matzo meal, but then! Their vegetables were complete crap! Can’t give Doc no crappy vegetables! Then they drove all the way back to the first store, finished the rest of the shopping there, came back to the base, and wouldn't you know? Spy was hoggin' up the stove with his sorry lookin' French pancakes or whatever the hell they're called.  

What kind of friggin' pancake is so thin anyway? Nevermind that he ate three of them and was the best thing he put in his mouth all day- it just ain't right.

As he stirred the pot one last time before shutting the burner off, it hit Scout this was the first time he made food for someone other than his Ma or brothers. It made his palms all sweaty thinkin' about it- it's not like he was a shit cook or anything, but there was just something about going through all that trouble to make such a small thing for someone. But Medic wasn't just anyone, and he'd gladly go through everything again if it meant it helped him feel better.

(God, how did Doc make him all mushy and stuff?)

But it was starting to get late, and he'd rather not keep Doc waitin' forever. He plated up the best looking Matzo, made sure there were plenty of chicken bits in there, and even threw in a piece of toasted bread for good measure. Not to brag or anythin', but it's probably the best damn soup he's ever made. He made himself his own bowl before loading it up on the tray and made his way over to the med-bay.

Doc's own corner of the base was quiet and still for once, and it didn't feel right at all. Trying his best not to drop the tray, Scout opened the office door. Archimedes perched on top of his favorite skeletal model, cooing in welcome. Scout chuckled and dug out some sunflower seeds from his pocket, catching Archimedes ' interest.

“Hey birdbrain,” Scout said, offering the seeds. Archimedes ruffled his feathers in appreciation and began to peck away at the seeds. “How's our Doc doin' today?” he asked. He cooed softly and a muffled cough rang out. Scout hummed, “'Bout the same, huh?” After Archimedes finished the last of the seeds, he scratched the top of his head and looked towards the private quarter's door.

(Ya know, maybe the soup was a bad idea, what if he-)

No! It was gonna be fine, ya big wuss!

Scout drew a deep breath and walked over to the door. The coughing stopped, but he could imagine how miserable Doc was feeling. He balanced the tray once more, and knocked.

“Hey Doc,” Scout said softly, “Mind if I come in?”

A coughing fit answered him and after it subsided, a miserable “Ja” invited him. Alright, it's go time. Scout fished out a mask from his back pocket, hastily put it on with his free hand, and opened the door.

While the medical office itself was rather cut-and-dry and like any other doctor's office Scout has been too, Doc's room was anything but. It was homey, and if Scout didn't know any better, he would have believed he was in some cottage in the middle of the woods rather than the base. Right in the middle of the room, Doc laid in his bed, nestled in his blankets looking anything but cozy.

“How're you feelin' today?” Scout asked, walking closer to the bed.

“The mucus has subsided, but the cough has been persistent,” Doc said, “No signs of my appetite returning, I'm afraid.”

“Ya know, that's too bad,” Scout hummed, “Guess I gotta finish these two bowls of Matzo here all by myself.” At that, Doc perked up.

“Matzo?” Doc sat up in his spot in the bed, Scout snickering at how fast he adjusted himself, “Recent studies have shown soup has wonderful medicinal benefits for the common cold, you know?”

“Oh yeah?” Scout laughed, setting the tray down onto the bed. “Well, ya better start chowin' down then! The one on the right is yours,” he said as he pulled up a chair.

Without any hesitation, Doc picked up the bowl, pulled his own face mask down, and took a good spoonful of the broth down. He hummed delightfully and took another big spoonful.

“Hey, hey, careful there or ya gonna burn yourself,” Scout laughed, picking up his own bowl from the tray.

“But taybele,” Doc said, the pet name making his chest flutter harder than the time Archimedes spent stuck inside, “This is wonderful! And you made this?”

“Yup!” Scout said, puffing out his chest, “Family recipe! Don't worry, I'll show ya once you get better!”

“Please do!” Doc said, taking a bite off the bread. “Thank you, liebster.” Scout smiled and took his dear Doc's hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Anytime, darlin'.”

[unseededtoast]

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller

Part Twenty Five

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross posted on my Wattpad and AO3, if you prefer those formats. Here is a link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted.

I look down at my shaking hands and wonder if he thinks I'm just as much of a monster as the men I've just killed. 

It could've been two days or two weeks that I've been kept here but I would have no way to tell. The Tribunals have kept me locked in a dark room the entire time, effectively disorienting me. My limbs still strapped down to the table, my body aches and my mind has become fuzzy. While the room is dark, I am not afforded the luxury of sleep. 

A glimpse of sunlight enters the room as a man steps through. His footsteps echo in the quiet room and I hear him stop walking as he reaches the table end by my feet. His fingers trail up the front of my leg and I hear him take in a sharp breath. 

"I'm here to bring you to trial." His voice is gruff. I am unable to answer due to being dehydrated, and make no move to acknowledge the man's words. 

I don't know what this trial will entail, but I've seen what these people do. I'm already guilty in their eyes. This much has been proven by the way they've treated me while being tied down to the table. 

Countless men have entered and ran their hands over my body, some have gone as far as to hit me. They've all told me that I'll swing for killing their men. And I believe them. 

"Come on." The man speaks as he cuts my restraints. Even though I'm now free of being tied down, I don't make any move. I know I'm far too weak to take on even one of these men by myself, and if I attempt to escape that I'll just be re-captured and tortured even further. 

I've run through every scenario I could think of, and all ended up with me being dead. There simply isn't a way out of this one. The man yanks me from the table and forces me on my feet. He grabs the back of my shirt and leads me out of the dark room. 

The sunlight is blinding as soon as he opens the door. My eyes squint and I stumble over my own feet as he continues to push me forward. I hear men yelling at me and I smell smoke in the air. 

"Let that bitch swing!" One man calls out enthusiastically. As my eyes adjust to the light, I begin seeing where I'm going. 

I'm being paraded down a street that's lined with men on each side. My gaze falls across several men and see the 'T' branding on every single one. This group was much larger than I ever could have conceived.  

I trip over my feet again and lift my head to see a large brick building in front of me. It has a grand staircase with torches lining the sides. There are men guarding the door with several guns in hand. 

"Let's see her head roll!" Another man calls out. While their words are frightening, my mind doesn't fully register that they're talking about me. It's almost as if I'm viewing the whole situation in third person, like an out of body experience. 

We reach the staircase and I'm forced up them. As I ascend the stairs I hear the crowd behind cheer in unison. The doors slam loudly behind us once inside, leaving us in silence. Two additional men escort me down a hallway where there's one room at the very end. 

The room at the end of the hall is a courtroom. A dusty, downtrodden courtroom that smells faintly of blood and gunpowder. I'm forced to stand in front of the wooden pedestal at the front of the room, in which one man sits behind the desk. He stares down at me with disdain in his eyes and looks me over before he speaks, as if he's trying to come up with just the right insult. 

"Today you will face trial for the murders of our men with the maximum penalty of death. Do you understand?" His voice is loud and commandeering. The word death seems to reignite my mind and the full gravity of the situation begins to sink in. 

My eyes dart all around the room and I see a jury of men to my left. They're all staring me down like they would take great joy in killing me themselves. And they probably would. I look back to the man in front of me and nod my head, hoping that my death may be swift.

"Yes." I answer and he nods, satisfied with my answer. With that, I'm tugged over to a table on the right side of the room and forced into a chair. Another man who sits at a table to the left stands from his spot and approaches the man that I just spoke with. 

I realize quickly that this is being conducted like an actual pre-outbreak court. I'm the defendant, and the man I just spoke to is the judge. The men to the left is the jury that will decide my fate. Though it's hardly fair, it makes sense, considering they've named themselves Tribunals. It seems this entire group has taken it upon themselves to become the world's judges. 

While tribunals are supposed to act to keep peace, order, and justice, these people have corrupted the role to conform to their own twisted will. There is no justice in slaughtering innocent people. The judge at the front of the room slams an old gavel to begin the trial. 

The man who sits at the table to my left stands and turns to the jury. This man is dressed nicer than the others and looks to be a little more well-nourished, he must have found favor with his position. Either that, or he's being paid off by those who can afford his price. 

"Today you will receive the facts about this woman who sits across from you. She is responsible for several of our men's deaths. But you don't have to take my word for it, no we have solid physical evidence that she has been tracking us and hunting our members." The man points an accusatory finger at me, and all I can do is stare back at him. This entire situation feels utterly dystopian and foreign to the world in which we now live. 

"The court will now hear from the prosecutor." The judge states and allows the man to continue talking. I glance over and see that my bag has been sat on the prosecutor's table. My heart slams in my chest when I realize all that's been kept in there. 

"My fellow Tribunals. Let me show you exactly who she is. She has written correspondence from our men." He holds up several notes that I've held onto from Boston. I swallow harshly, wishing for a cup of water. 

"She has a detailed map." He displays my map to the jury, who all look at it with squinted eyes. 

"And she even has our pictures." He shows the jury the polaroid pictures I took of other victims. I see some people on the jury look from the pictures to me, a deep seeded hatred in their eyes. 

"Now, I'm not going to waste your time here today. It is glaringly obvious that this woman was operating solely to kill as many of us as she could. In fact, she travelled all the way from Boston." He waves papers in the air that I assume are the notes I found in the QZ warehouse. 

The evidence gets passed around the jury members, who take their time examining every single paper and photo that gets passed to them. It's obvious that nobody is going to find me innocent. After all, they weren't wrong, I was operating solely to exterminate them. They may judge me for the acts I've committed against them, but I've judged them on their acts they've committed against innocent people. It seems we find each other guilty of the most heinous. 

After what feels like an hour, the jury has passed back the evidence and the prosecutor clears his throat and looks me dead in the eye as he says his next words. 

"I do trust that the jury will reach a reasonable conclusion." His words are an obvious threat. My eyes track him as he takes his seat at the table once more. I know I am destined to die soon, but I would like very much to kill that man before I do. 

"And now the defendant. Please state your name for the record and recount your version of events." The judge orders and it takes me a moment to understand what he's asking of me. Knowing I have no choice but to comply, I stand from my seat with wobbly balance. They definitely must have kept me here for a few days at least.

"My name is Noelle Allen and I am from the Boston QZ. There's no denying the evidence you saw, but let me tell you what the prosecutor won't. Members of this group made a deal with the Fireflies to find and kill a teenage girl for a deal gone bad. But they weren't just looking for this one girl. No, I found three murdered teenagers in the QZ, all tortured and killed brutally." I take a breath and try to swallow, but my throat is entirely too dry. My eyes sweep across the jury and I can tell that whatever I say won't sway them, but I know what I must say for me to die at peace.

"All across the country members of this group have left people mutilated. And not only that, but they took joy in it. It's killing for sport, not justice. How can it be just if photos are taken of the victims and displayed like trophies? Tell me, where is the justice in sexually assaulting children and leaving their bodies in alleys?" My voice raises and cracks with my words, and I force myself to keep going before they tell me that my time is up. 

"This here is not justice, this is a corrupted system. You can tell yourselves that this is fair and just, and that you're enforcing some kind of moral code. But all you're doing is using this as an excuse to kill whoever you want for whatever reason. And I know that my body will swing from the gallows after this, but at least I know I died by trying to avenge the innocent." My words may not have been the most eloquent, but it's everything I needed to say. I sit back down at the table and wait for someone to say something. But the room remains silent. 

Jury members begin conversing amongst themselves but I don't waste the energy in trying to listen. I already know my sentence. Instead, I focus on the wood grain of the table and find myself once again thinking of Joel. 

I never intended to develop the feelings I did. No, I was just grateful I had someone willing to travel with me across the country. Never did I think that Joel Miller would end up with my heart. His rough exterior hides a man who loves deeply and passionately for those he cares about, a man who has endured too much pain and suffering in this life. I knew that our time together was limited, but I never thought it was going to end like this. 

No, I had always imagined that we would be able to exterminate this group and then we would part ways. He would go to Wyoming to be with his family, and I would decide what I wanted to do. And while I hope he's on his way to Wyoming right now, I realize that I don't have to burden myself with making that choice anymore. There are no more future days for me. 

But, I hope that all future days for Joel are as peaceful as they can be. I hope he's able to spend time with his newfound daughter, and that she is kept from harm's way. I hope these people never find them and I hope nobody else ever finds out that she is immune. There's no doubt in my mind that Joel would allow anything happen to her, she's in good hands. I only wish I could've met her. Maybe in a different life things ended differently. 

"A decision has been reached, all rise." The judge says as a jury member hands him a piece of paper. My heartbeat thumps in my ears as I watch the judge licks his lips and clear his throat. 

"By decree of the Tribunals, defendant Noelle Allen has been found guilty of all charges and the jury recommends the maximum sentence for her crimes." His words are no surprise to me. Immediately, my arms are tugged behind my back and I'm forced to begin taking my final walk. 

I know that I will be hanged outside this very courthouse. 

Life seems to move in slow motion as I'm forced out of the courtroom. My chest feels like it's tight, like I can't get enough air and the people around me blur into shapeless figures. It's as if concrete has been poured around my feet, weighing me down with every step forward. The front doors of the courthouse open and I can hear the roar of cheers from the people outside, but they sound muffled. My ears are ringing, my heartbeat feels like it's going to jump from my chest. 

Before we make it to the front doors, my vision goes gray. The hands that were holding me tightly disappear and I hear gunshots in front of me, where the crowd is. Still operating in a fog of confusion, my feet take steps backwards automatically, and suddenly I find myself running back through the courthouse. Men with guns rush past me, paying me no mind as I look for a way out. 

I'm not even sure what's happening, but it feels like some sort of divine intervention. 

I look into each room I pass until I find one with a window. Without giving it any thought, I pick up a chair to break the glass out and then jump out of it. My feet hit the ground with a hard thud, the jump had been higher than anticipated, but I made it out. Near the front of the courthouse I hear gunfire and screams, so I turn and run in the other direction. 

My palms burn from being cut by the broken glass but I just hope that nobody thinks to follow the blood trail. With each gasp for air my lungs burn more and more and I start to trip over my own feet. Finding a secluded corner, I collapse against the wall and try to catch my breath. 

The smell of smoke lingers heavily in the air and burns my throat, but I pay no mind to it. All I need to focus on is getting out of here alive. I know if they catch me, I'll suffer a fate far worse than death. 

Once I feel like I can get my body to operate properly, I stand and look around the corner to make sure nobody is coming after me. Unfortunately for me, there is a lone man running my way as I peek around and his gaze locks onto me instantly. 

Knowing if he alerts the others that my fate is sealed, I force myself forward and meet him in the middle. The man is carrying a large machete and he swings it towards me, and I am just barely able to dodge it. While he follows through with his swing, I land a kick to his ribs and knock him off balance, but not for long. 

The man swings again with a grunt and the blade grazes my arm, adding to the blood spilling from my body. I yell out in pain and back up before he can swing the blade again. 

"I'll get a reward for you dead or alive, it's all up to you. But I'm gonna have fun either way." The man exclaims as he lunges forward with the machete in front of him. It narrowly misses my stomach by inches. 

His words ignite a fire within myself, something deep-seeded and hot burns in my chest. While he gains his balance to swing at me again, I duck my head and tackle him, taking us both to the ground. 

The man struggles to grab hold of the machete's handle and I land my knee on top of his wrist, pinning it to the ground. He yells out in pain and his other hand moves to pull me off of him, so I grind my knee into his wrist even harder. His eyes shut in pain and he tries one last time to get me off of him. His free hand grabs my hair and he pulls, hard. My weight is shifted off of his wrist and he flips us over so that my back is pinned against the asphalt road. 

I move too quickly for him to hold my hands down and as he struggles to keep me pinned, my thumbs find their way to his eyes. With determination to live, I dig my thumbs into the man's eye sockets and listen as he screams. He jolts away from my hands and I waste no time in grabbing his machete. As he covers his eyes I raise the machete over my head before I bring it down and bury it in his throat. The man gurgles and chokes on his own blood as I stand.

But it seems like a clean getaway is not in my future, as the man's screams seems to have attracted more men. I yank the machete out of the man's throat and readjust my grip on it, my mind going blank to everything except fulfilling my bloodlust. 

One man raises his gun at me, but he's run out of bullets, probably spent dealing with the situation at the courthouse. He throws his empty gun at me and I dodge the metal, running towards him. I see his eyes grow wide as his gaze lands on the blade in my hand and then I feel him take his last breath as I pull the blade from his abdomen. 

A bullet whizzes by my head and I'm quick to spot the man shooting at me from behind a building. While he's ducked away for cover, I run between two buildings, hoping to disappear and get the jump on him. Thankfully city streets are organized as a grid, so it's not hard for me to locate where the shooter is. 

With controlled breaths, I peek around the corner and see the man who was shooting at me. His head is turned around the corner as he tries to see where I've gone. My footsteps are quiet and he doesn't hear me behind him until it's too late. The blade cuts clean across his jugular and he crumples to the ground gagging on blood. I grab his gun and check how many bullets are left. There are just three, so I have to make them count. 

I turn and start heading away from the center of the city, where the majority of the group is. If I can get far enough away before they realize I'm gone, I'll have a pretty good chance at disappearing from them forever. My head is on a swivel as I move away from the city, constantly checking for any lone wolf members or infected that may have been drawn to the commotion. 

I'm almost out of the main city area when a door opens to my right. The man behind the door moves too fast for me to be able to do anything, and he forces me inside the building. There are two other men inside, sitting by a fire. Of course I would run right past one of their outposts.

"I reckon we can fetch a fair price for this one, what do you think boys?" The man has a death grip on my wrists and I feel him lean down and sniff my hair. 

Where fear once would have set in, all I feel now is anger. My vision seems to go red and while the man satisfies himself by smelling me, I bring my heel up quickly and land a solid hit. His hands are off of me in an instant, grabbing at himself. 

I hear the others behind me scramble to grab their weapons while I lock my arms around the man's throat. I squeeze tightly and fend him off as he reaches behind himself in an attempt to grab me. 

"Drop your guns or I'll make you all suffer." My voice does not sound like my own as the words leave my mouth. However, the men don't take my threat seriously, and one of them laughs. 

The blood in my veins feels like it has turned into burning hot lava and I squeeze the man's airway so tightly that I feel his knees about to give out. He's choking for air, struggling to get even the smallest breath. His body is growing heavier and heavier and just before he hits the ground, I grab the gun off of his thigh and aim it at the two others.

I don't give the others a chance to speak as I fire rounds into their kneecaps; my finger pulls the trigger so quickly it almost sounds like I'm firing an automatic weapon. Both men collapse to the ground, writhing in pain as blood drains out of their knees. 

"You fucking bitch." One of them spits at my feet as I saunter over to them. I kick their own guns away from them and then assess how I want to handle the situation. My eyes linger on the fire burning in front of me and an idea blossoms in my mind. 

Perhaps this is the precise moment that I become just as bad as them. 

I grab the fire poker leaning against one of the chairs and hold the end of it in the fire until it becomes red-hot. Once I'm satisfied with how hot the iron is, I walk over the man closest to me and lean down so that I can see his face clearly. Tears stream out of his eyes and he whines about his knees. 

"I wish I could do this to every single member of this group. But since I can't, you're going to be the ones to send my message to them all." My words are laced with venom as I stand to my full height. 

The man in front of me pleads and begs for his life. And once upon a time I might have had pity on him and not have followed through. But after everything I've seen these men do to others and what they've done to me, I have no problem following through with my actions. 

I plunge the hot metal through the man's mouth until I feel the end of the iron hit the floor beneath him. The man screams out in pain and grabs the iron. He ends up melting the skin off the palms of his hands as he tries to save himself. While he dies a slow, agonizing death, I turn my attention to the other man. 

"Please don't, please." The man sobs when he sees me walk towards him. Instead of answering him, I look around for my next weapon. 

However, there seems to be little to nothing here, except sleeping bags and old wrappers. My eyes turn down to my trembling hands that are covered in blood. The man's cries fade into the background as my ears begin ringing.

Behind my eyelids with every blink I see images of dead people. The children in the QZ, the people in the polaroids, every single one of them. My knees hit the ground with a hard thud and my hands reach out and wrap around the man's throat. 

He scratches and claws at my hands and manages to knock me off balance. With my ears still ringing and my vision becoming veiled in red, I watch as my fingers lace themselves in the man's hair. I bring his head up off the ground before slamming it back to the floor, where I hear his skull crack. 

But that's not enough to keep him from fighting back, so I raise his head off the floor once more and repeat the action. As his head hits the ground for the second time, blood begins spilling out onto the floor. The man stops fighting back as hard, his arms and legs twitch next to his body. I stand to my full height and use the back of my hand to wipe the sweat from my face as I see blood begin spilling out of the man's eyes. 

Stumbling backwards, I find my way out of the building as it suddenly feels like the walls are caving in on me. And as I open the door the light blinds me, and from the light emerges a figure that I can only describe as being angelic. 

My shoulders slump as I see Joel standing right in front of me, his eyes trained on the carnage behind me. 

"Noelle." He says breathlessly. His wide eyes scan over my face and it's only then that I realize what I've just done. 

I look down at my shaking hands and wonder if he thinks I'm just as much of a monster as the men I've just killed. 

Part Twenty Six

[bonefall]

Ask Etiquette

HELLO sorry for the intimidating post lmao, I just need something to toss up on the masterpost because I feel bad deleting asks and then people will never really have an idea of why I never answered them

I get a ton of asks (usually anywhere from 10 - 20 a day!) and I'm not able to get to them all! I try to answer as many as possible but I'm still just one guy. So with that in mind, there are some sorts of asks I will simply not answer, and some 'requests' I have for people who send them in;

Please keep your asks short PLEASE try not to send me essays if you want a response; I still love reading them! But if you send me walls of text/analysis you are asking me to write a lot in response, which I'd rather spend on actually writing or designing cats. (On that note if you send a bunch of questions at once, the likelihood I respond goes down.)

Do not send me personal questions Listen... I'm a stranger on the internet. I'm overjoyed to see when my art connects with people and helps you realize things! But don't ask me sensitive questions like how to move out of your abusive parents' house!! PLEASE learn internet safety and get less comfortable with volunteering that kind of information to people you don't know!

Do not ask me personal questions you do not need to know what i study or where i work. get less comfortable asking these sorts of questions to queer people on the internet, especially when they talk openly about having previously been abused or stalked. (not that a person should even need to be as open about that as i am)

If I don't have a good response I won't answer Especially for suggestions I don't vibe with. I try to only say "No" if I have a particularly interesting "No" to talk about, if that makes sense! If I had to write a full explanation for every veto or idea I don't vibe with, this blog would be 90% what isn't in BB.

No AUs within the AU. "What if Hawkfrost survived his impalement? What if Firestar never joined? What if Tigerstar was never born?" Listen, buddy, you're creating an exponential distraction for possible ways the story could have gone and I'm not looking to write several essays for the literal hundreds of alternative ways Clan history could have been written. It takes you 5 words to ask "What if X never died" but it takes me paragraphs to answer. (This isn't about suggestions btw, I very specifically mean ppl asking hypotheticals for fun.)

Don't be rude. I feel like this should go without saying but please mind the parasocial gap. Especially if you're on anon, I don't know you, your backstory, or your cadence.

No "Fight Baiting" You're free to ask me to speak about fandom trends, or for my opinions on general ideas, character discussions, and popular arguments! But it crosses a line if you're linking someone's posts with their uncropped usernames, sharing unsolicited google docs, youtube videos, etc, with the intention of getting me to attack a third party. We can talk about ideas without making it a PVP battle.

And, lastly, CLANMEW ASKS!!

I make a hard effort to get to everyone!! Those are published on Clanmew Day (WHICH IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE THE 30TH OF EVERY MONTH SO THAT IT'S LESS CONFUSING) but PLEASE understand I get a ton of them.

As I write this I have more than 26 tabs open of unanswered Clanmew asks, a lot more in my inbox, and 9 already in the queue. So that you understand the sheer volume of asks I have there.

If I didn't get to you that month, chances are that I'll get to you on the next, but please understand why I ask for folks to not re-send asks

So here's Clanmew-specific requests;

PLEASE just try a translation on your own first! Don't just send me raw lists of OCs to translate, give it a go first using the Lexicon, just so I can see you tried. I will happily and gladly make more specific words for you when I see you try!

When you send OCs you've translated, ask me for a new word at the end if you didn't already in your list. Just in case I can't think of a witty comment or a word suggestion, you will help me a lot

Please try to format with lists like this one Folks will send me double or triple-indented lists and it will take up my entire screen when they've only sent like, 5 names. Remember that posts you send to me go on people's dashes, be considerate please You can open a list like this by starting a new paragraph, typing -, and then an immediate space. Hold Shift + Enter to indent without adding another bullet.

If you could put "Clanmew" somewhere in your ask, like even if you open up with "Clanmew: Here is my question blah blah," it would help immensely I physically can't get to every ask I receive on Clanmew Day, so if you have "Clanmew" in your ask somewhere, it makes it a lot easier for me to find it when I can finally answer! I really wish Tumblr had ways to sort asks, but currently, I've just gotta make due with Cntrl + F.

[the-final-sif]

dunkaroos (real monsters)

Sif, every update on each of your aus is a joy. You are entirely too inspiring for both writing and ideas - I reiterate that this is indeed brainrot, because I don't write fic but here I am. (Senin anon, I am linking arms with you in Sif's sandbox and giving you an affectionate head-bump. Your take on the post-Stoplight chaos was absolutely delightful.) I'm going to once again dump my fever dreams into your inbox.

---

The teleport command dissipates with a burst of chill air and the golden light of waning day spills over them, softened by the dappling of leaves outside. Dream steadies Sapnap as they appear back home, bringing his hands up to grip both of the younger man's shoulders when he stumbles. Blood and grime are smeared across Sapnap's chin in equal amounts.

"Hey, Sap, it's okay, we're- we're home now. What do you- do you need anything? Can I look at your shoulder?" Dream turns him slightly to check on the shallow crater in the back of Sapnap's netherite pauldron, cracks spiderwebbing up over the top and towards the gorget. He winces, recalling an axe crit to the back that he hadn't thought to soften. When he gets no response, he looks back up.

Sapnap's eyes are hazy, and one of his hands is keeping a white-knuckle grip on Dream's shirt. His jaw keeps tensing hard enough to pop out veins in his neck. Dream can't tell if it's from pain or something else - he's seen Sapnap in shock before, after a pause was called mid-Manhunt because George got badly hurt, but never this far gone. How injured is he? He takes a step backward and Sapnap follows, one knee almost buckling with the movement.

"Shit," Dream blurts out, and moves in again to wrap one arm under Sapnap's good shoulder. "Um, okay. Just- let's get to the couch."

They hobble over together, and as he eases Sapnap down into a seat, he's tugged forward into a crouch by Sapnap's hand, still wrapped in the fabric at his chest. Dream smiles gently and brings one callused palm to wrap around his friend's hand, slowly coaxing the fingers to relax.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, Pandas, I just need to get you cleaned up, okay? Can I- is it alright if I take the armor off you?"

He doesn't get a verbal response, but Sapnap's eyes slowly focus in on his face, and the hand in his gives a light squeeze. Dream returns the gesture before standing and starting to unbuckle the netherite that's weighing down Sapnap's shoulders.

As the chestplate comes off and he gently tugs the collar of Sapnap's shirt up, Dream hisses a breath out through his teeth reflexively. Deep blue bruising covers the back of Sapnap's shoulder, which is already starting to swell. Something's definitely damaged in there.

"That's not good. Um, I think you might have- well, I might have broken something. You sure I can't get Bad?" He steps back to Sapnap's front to try to gauge his expression, but Sapnap isn't looking at him, instead staring forward. Dream turns to follow his gaze, concerned.

The environment shouldn't be throwing him off; he'd done his best to replicate the top floor of the Community House when he made his base, half for the easy, familiar layout and half so he could breathe easy when he wasn't playing his role. Nothing should be too surprising about the structure of the room, the kitchen Sapnap's facing or an old cross-stitch Bad made hanging on the wall. Brows tugging together, Dream raises a hand and snaps gently in front of his face. Sapnap's flinch is delayed by a few seconds, and it's sluggish when it happens.

Okay. Sapnap's not fully here right now, which means he's not going to be able to give Dream permission to bring in someone more qualified. He'll do what he can in the meantime - at the least, he can give Sapnap a safe, comfortable place to wake up to when he does.

Dream starts to ease off the remaining pieces of Sapnap's armor, letting himself begin to ramble softly as he does, half narrating what he's doing and half following whatever tangents come to mind. Once the armor's off, discarded for now on and under a side table, he starts to clean Sapnap up, covering a few of the larger gashes with fresh bandages. He doesn't have as many medical supplies here as he'd like, not when he's been getting chased a lot recently in character, and he'd used half of his stored potions making sure Ranboo was okay after he needed to tap out. Still, he's able to find a regen pot tucked away in the back, and he sets it in the kitchen before heading towards the linens chest. A pillowcase becomes a makeshift sling, which he gently wraps Sapnap's arm with before heading back to the kitchen. The whole time, Dream is talking to himself, low and calm, keeping Sapnap aware that he's still in the room, he hasn't left. From the icebox he pulls a jar of milk, and from the cupboard a small bag of cookies.

Dream settles back in front of Sapnap, presenting the now-shimmering glass of milk and the bag of cookies like they're an offering.

"Pandas, can you look at me? Everything's okay, I just need you to try to eat these if you can? Well- I guess the cookies are- they're not necessary, I just got the milk to make the regen go down easier, and I remembered I had these, and it's like- milk and cookies. You know."

Dream waits, patient, and slowly Sapnap's eyes clear. He reaches out, takes the glass of milk, and downs it in two gulps.

"There you go, that's good. Okay. Do you want cookies? I think they're good for blood loss, and these are- I had some of your favorites, actually."

Sapnap's mouth opens slightly, eyes snapping down to the cookies Dream offers, then back up to Dream, the most aware he's been so far. They're just cookies - sure, the game had been going on for a while, but it wasn't like Dream was going to forget. He'd stolen the toffee and peanuts from Nikki's stores a bit ago, and it hadn't been hard to find chocolate. It's been a few days since he'd felt nostalgic and baked them for the smell, but they shouldn't be stale or anything-

Sapnap lunges forward, ignoring the cookies to wrap his good arm around Dream, and Dream drops everything to hug him back. The embrace is familiar, radiating warmth into Dream's bones, and he brings one hand up to cradle the back of Sapnap's head as he feels hot tears beginning to seep into the cloth against his neck. He knows that the next step is getting Sapnap to lie down and rest, but Dream's of the mindset that you don't leave a hug until the person who initiated it pulls away, so. He settles his weight more evenly on his knees, firms his embrace around Sapnap, and begins to hum lightly. They can stay here as long as Sapnap needs. It's really nice to get to hug his best friend again.

----

I adore this!!! I'm going to commit crime in your name!! Just,,,, very soft dreamnap comfort, and Sapnap finally getting the hug he absolutely deserves!!! Dream is trying so hard rn and I'm proud of him!! (also I think tumblr ate your paragraph spacing, so I tried to add it back in as best I could. Hopefully I got close).

[rose-colored-amy]

So, this is a continuation to my extremely short one-shot Last Moments, Last Regrets, but it can be read as a stand-alone. Regardless, I'll leave the link of that one in here:

Also, thanks to @coeurhh for suggesting I write a second part. You're a sweetheart 🥰

She made a lovely fanart/gif, which I'm also sharing, of course:

Prompt: AU. Sakura's death goes unnoticed to everyone but the squad she protected with her life and Tsunade. Team Kakashi doesn't find out until the very end, when Naruto and Sasuke have already had their fight, and there's nothing to do about it but mourn the absence.

Warning: Mild Sasusaku and lots of angst. Team 7 sort-of-fluff (?)

—Blue Bird, Let Go—

"Hey, bastard... I know they really let us down, the village, I mean."

"Aa... "

"But I really think it's not all that bad. When we were I team, I knew you understood. It felt like having a brother, believe it."

They were watching their lives go by, shadows of unknown faces passing by them, not noticing their pain, or not caring whatsoever. Their backs were touching, but it was all cold and bleak; a bad memory. A clan slaughtered, a demon sealed. Two lonely boys wallowing in their own sadness.

"Well, even if I don't make it, I'm glad it was you, bastard—"

"Shut up, idiot." His voice sounded strained, even for his standards, but Sasuke was so tired he couldn't even bring himself to care.

"We're really dying, ah? Wanna say something? I do have things to say, 'cause there's no way I'm dying—"

"In silence?" Sasuke interrupted, but Naruto payed him no mind.

"Without telling you how much of an asshole you've been! I couldn't even keep my promise to Sakura-chan! She's gonna be so damn mad when she finds out, I'm sure she'll drag me back to life just to cave my face in—" He was rambling at that point, but it was just so comforting and normal to Sasuke that he didn't even acknowledge it anymore.

"Hn. Sakura... She..."

"She still loves you, asshole. I don't have any idea how it can be possible but—"

"I'm sorry..." It sounded rushed, but Naruto heard it perfectly, and in the darkness of their shared consciousness, Sasuke heard a resigned sigh.

"Well, it's not that bad. I cannot imagine dying beside anyone but you, bastard."

"Idiot..." He made a pause. "Me neither."

"You're both a pair of idiots!"

Suddenly, the unreadable mass of unrecognizable faces around them cleared, and one figure stood in front of them, pink eyebrows frowned in annoyance. Though this version of Sakura looked familiar, it was one none of the boys had seen in a long time. Genin, long-haired, Sakura was glaring at them, arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing in here?!"

Her eyes softened. "What, so I'm supposed to let you two die, after everything? No way in hell!"

"Sakura..."

"You!" She pointed at Sasuke, who flinched slightly at her rudeness. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I don't care. Lighten up and start being your moody self. We love you just like that! Don't act so repented and shit! If you're sorry stop looking like a lost puppy and start doing something about it, you asshole!" Her voice was raising with madness and it was slightly off putting to see what used to be a stuttering lovestruck preteen talking to him like that.

Naruto snorted at that, obviously delighted for not being at the receiving end of her wrath for once. It was short-lived, however.

"And you!" She pointed at the blonde; then crossed her arms. He jumped back in fright. "What is this? How dare you even consider dying after you promised to be the best goddamned Hokage in history?! Here I am, rooting for you, while you lay around like a lazy pig with your edgy bro there. You should be ashamed of yourself!" She scoffed.

Naruto's mouth was so wide open he could have caught a fly. "Lazy pig? Are you kidding?!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, half amused, half annoyed. "Edgy?"

Suddenly, the edges of their vision began to blurr, like a genjutsu being unravelled. "Ah, someone came to help you at last." Sakura seemed relieved. Strangely so.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You know what? You're right. I'll be the best damn Hokage ever, believe it! Just you watch!" He threw a punch to the air.

Seemingly placated and pleased with his answer, she nodded. "I know so." Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was concentrating solely on her face, mismatched eyes softened as they'll ever be. "And you'll make sure he doesn't mess up, right?"

They shared a long silence. There was something strange about Sakura aside her appearance. He could tell. "Hn. I will..."

"Hey! I don't need him watching over—"

"Sure you don't." He countered sarcastically.

"Also..." They turned to her again. "I'm sorry."

"Wha—" Naruto stuttered. "What the hell would you be sorry for, Sakura-chan?! If anything, it's the bastard here who should be apologizing to you!"

"Sakura..." Sasuke seemed to be searching for the right words, but she couldn't let them go without them listening to her. To what she needed them to know. There wasn't much time left after all.

"I'm sorry, because I wasn't what you needed..." She closed her eyes, her pretty minty orbs. Her appearance suddenly shifted, before then now standing her true self, still dressed in the standard shinobi uniform of the alliance. Her forehead protector lost to whoever knows where. "And thank you. You both made me stronger. You made me appreciate what I had. And I'll always, always love you. Our moments together like team seven... I'll treasure them for all eternity."

"Sakura-chan..."

"I know Konoha wasn't the best to you both, but don't forget the good... The wholesome moments. It's all that matters in the end... Our bonds, the bonds you managed to forge with sweat and blood... The world we live in, the world that gave me the chance to meet you. To me, that's to be cherished. Forever."

The white light started overwhelming the rest. Even Sakura's features started dissapearing.

"Live. Just live." For that, she specifically stared at Sasuke, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And thank you."

Sasuke started racing towards her, hand stretched, a forebonding understanding shaking his bones. "Sakura!"

And then, they both lost consciousness.

When they woke up, aside from feeling like shit, the first thing that crossed their minds what the finality of Sakura's words. Tsunade was beside them, patching them up, with Kakashi beside her, silently watching over them.

"About time, brats! What were you think—"

"Baa-san." Naruto interrupted her, his voice the most serious she had heard him until then.

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke finished for him, his eyes icy and detached, trying to keep his worry at bay.

But she didn't need to answer. Her chakra flow hesitated, spiking with sorrow. Her eyes glistening with unbearable loss. Kakashi, at her side, stared, eyes widened in comprehension.

She was gone by a long shot.

And they were just finding out.

...

Everybody had different ways of dealing with loss. Naruto helped rebuild the village along with everyone else, but he skipped his usual meals, his ramen left forgotten in his kitchen counter. His movements when sparring were sloppy at best, not just because of the new prosthetic limb, but also because his mind was clearly somewhere else. Usually, Shikamaru would drag him out his makeship house, like he had done when Jiraija was gone for good. Sometimes, he would bring Ino with him, who was suspiciously skinny and messier than normal. No makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes.

Kakashi spent more than usual at the memorial stone every day, tracing the newly marked name of the girl who once remained him of Rin but that had come to claim a place for herself in his heart. Also, he took more missions than it was allowed in a month, going so far as to pick up his ANBU mask again, which caused an altercation with Tsunade, who hadn't been sober in a long time and had been hoping to hand the Hokage seat to him.

Sai avoided the color pink for a long time.

Sasuke... Well, he dealed with loss the same as everyone else... Longing for the missing person to be there, itching to have the opportunity to say what he couldn't at the time. Wanting to be alone whenever they would reach for him... And he built a tomb for her in hopes to find some closure. Not that official, because there wasn't a body to bury, and it had no name, but it was enough for him. He would bring with him camellias every day, buying them at the Yamanaka's, where Ino would always glance at him in silent understanding.

One morning, on his way to her tomb, he spotted a young shinobi leaving a white lilly for her. When he came by, the child spoke without a care, like they were acquaintances. "This is Sakura-san's, right?"

"Hn." It wasn't really an answer, but the child seemed to understand anyway.

"You know? Mama and big sister are also buried in these grounds... I always talk to them and tell them about my day and stuff I want them to know!" He turned to the Uchiha, a smirk on his cherubic face. "I'm sure she would appreciate it as well." And just like that, he left without another word.

Sasuke sat on the ground, just in front of the stone, mismatched eyes half lidded. Sensing no one in the vicinity, he exaled a shaky breath, and his dam opened up, the words longing to be said broke the silence he had been wrapping around himself since he knew of her death:

"I miss you... I've been missing you since I first left."

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 12*

Chapter 11

(i fucked this up by editing on my phone and now I have to post the next chapter link like this. )

Whoooo buddy! The angst is REAL, y'all.

I apologize for this, but also I really don't. And I made it normal length to make up for that short shitty one earlier.

Enjoy!!!! Mwahahahahha

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

---------

It seemed like forever for the ambulance to get there, Rafael just sat there trembling and crying while you started to convulse in his arms. Finally the door busted open and EMT’s threw you on a gurney and took you downstairs. Rafael sprinted behind them and jumped in the back of the ambulance as it sped away.

“Y/N….Carino please, please don’t die on me…” Rafael stroked your hair as you were hooked up to oxygen and anti drug meds. It was like literal hell having to watch this all over again, even worse that it was someone he actually...loved.

“Please, please don’t die…” He looked up to the sky.

----------------

Rafael paced the hospital waiting area furiously, they wouldn’t let him go back with you once the ambulance got you both there. When he saw Sonny running up the hallway towards him, he grabbed him by the neck and shoved him up against the wall.

“I TOLD YOU!!!!” He screamed violently, while several nurses ran over and pulled them apart.

“Rafael! Jesus Christ--” Sonny was breathing heavily while he tried to recover from Rafael’s ambush.

“I told you something was wrong, I told you I knew her better than you did!” He tried to wrestle away from the nurses.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry alright?!” Sonny yelled, tears starting to fill his eyes. “I should have listened to you--”

“You’re god damn right you should have!!!” Rafael continued to scream.“ She could die right now, do you realize that?”

“Of course I realize that!” Sonny screamed back while looking around them, trying not to make a scene.

“God dammit Carisi, she knew better than you. Why didn't you listen to her?!” Rafael was beginning to cry; he was so upset.

“Barba I--” Sonny started to apologize.

“Excuse me, is Miss Y/L/N’s family here?” An orderly came out from the back.

“I am!” Sonny forgot about Rafael and ran over to the man, Rafael did the same.

“I’m sorry sir but this is really just a family conversation--” He started to dismiss Rafael, but Sonny put his hand up.

“He’s fine,” He assured the doctor.

“Right, well--” He cleared his throat as he led them to a more quiet area. “The damage to Y/N’s body is pretty bad,”

“....God,” Sonny muttered, putting a hand over his forehead.

“The mouthwash has several chemicals that aren’t in traditional grain alcohols, mostly lethal. And her pancreas, liver and gallbladder were already severely damaged from the years of alcohol abuse,” He explained as he looked gravely between the two men.

“No…” Rafael put his hands over his face.

Flashbacks of a very similar conversation happening between a doctor and his mother filled his mind. The way his mother fell against the wall when she heard the doctor say there was a good chance his father was never waking up.

“How bad is it, doc?” Sonny’s voice quivered, and Rafael instinctively took his hand.

“Well, we had to completely remove the gallbladder, and parts of her pancreas so she’s most likely going to develop diabetes,” He further explained. “...And she most likely will need a liver transplant, depending on how the next 24 hours go,”

“Christ…” Sonny whipped his hand from Rafael’s touch and put both of his hands over his head while he paced.

“Can we see her?” Rafael asked.

“Yes, you know your daughter is very lucky to be alive,” The doctor informed them.

“...Excuse me?” Sonny asked while he and Rafael exchanged confused looks.

“...Are you two not her dads?” The doctor waved his pen between the two men.

“Oh my god,” Rafael muttered in horror, wanting to vomit right there.

“Uh, no sir-- no we’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “I’m her uncle and this is my partner,”

“Excuse me?!” Rafael practically screamed in disgust.

“...Do you want them to let you back there to see her or not, honey?” Sonny said through his teeth.

“Right,” Rafael nodded uncomfortably, taking Sonny’s hand once more. “We’re her...Uncles,” He tried not to grimace.

“Oh, right. So sorry sirs,” The doctor apologized once more as he led your “Uncles” to the room you were in. You were unconscious, but breathing on your own.

“She might be out a while from the meds, if you’d like to come back tomorrow,” The doctor informed them once more.

“Uh, I think we’ll wait at least for a little while, if you don’t mind doc,” Sonny replied while Rafael walked up to your sleeping body and just stroked your hair lovingly.

“Whatever you two want to do is fine with me,” He nodded. “I have other patients to see, if you’ll excuse me,”

Sonny nodded to him and he walked out of the room leaving the three of you alone. Sonny ran his hands through his hair while Rafael pulled a chair up next to your bed, still stroking your hair.

“...Barba I think you should leave,” Sonny said softly.

“...What?” He laughed. “Are you...are you fucking joking me, Carisi?”

“No look,” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry I didn’t hear her. And I’m sorry that I just...gave up, protecting her,”

“Yeah well--”

“But I hear you now, and-- and she’s going to need to go away,” He looked at your sleeping body sadly.

“She’s in no shape to go anywhere, Carisi,” Rafael clutched your hand as if he was protecting you.

“Not now, no,” Sonny agreed. “But when she’s better--”

“We don’t know if she’s going to get better!” Rafael suddenly stood up and walked towards him; Sonny backed up as he approached, afraid Rafael was going to grab him again.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t be here!” Sonny argued.

“What?”

“Barba look,” He cautiously put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “I...I get that you two have some kind of-- I don’t know, connection,” He glanced at you.

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you barely know her, and she barely knows you. You have a job and a life waiting for you tomorrow, you can’t be sitting here sitting vigil for some girl you slept with once,”

“How dare you fucking say that to me, Carisi,” Rafael’s eyes narrowed as he snapped his shoulder from Sonny’s grasp.

“How fucking dare you. First you don’t want me anywhere near her, then you tell her she’s nothing to me, then suddenly you think that I’m in love with her, and-- and now that I’m finally...attached to her-- you want me to just leave her alone again?”

“No, I never wanted you near her because of this exact situation!” Sonny hissed, trying not to wake you. “I told you straight up that she was complicated, and that you weren’t about that life,”

“I am about that life-- I’m serious, about her,” Rafael corrected himself, rolling his eyes at the terms Sonny used.

“Well I don’t think you should be,” Sonny crossed his arms.

“This is the jealousy thing again, isn’t it?” Rafael licked his lips angrily. “You and your stupid ego can’t stand the fact that we--”

“That is NOT it Rafael and you fucking know it,” Sonny narrowed his eyes.

“Then what is it?” Rafael crossed his arms. “It’s clearly not because it’s too much for me, because I’m flat out telling you it’s not,”

“Rafael--” Sonny placed his hands over his face. “I have spent my life protecting this girl, okay? And I may have dropped the ball here, but that just means that I will sure as hell not do it again. And that means that I have to have her best interest at heart,”

“What does that even mean?” Rafael looked at him quizzically.

“Her whole world is different now, Barba!” Sonny gestured to you. “You heard the doc. She has no gallbladder, whatever the fuck that means, she will probably get diabetes, god knows what will happen even if she needs a liver transplant, but my guess is it ain’t good!”

“...Well she won’t be able to drink alcohol,” Rafael said softly.

“Which will make her sobriety that much more urgent and permanent, Barba,” Sonny stepped towards your bed.

“She’s gonna have a long hard road ahead of herself no matter which way this goes right now, and keeping her on track is the only way she is gonna get through it. You think she’s gonna be able to focus on anything but you if you stay here?”

“I can help her--” Rafael insisted, glancing down at your innocent sleeping face. It broke his heart you were hurting, now all he wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you never hurt again.

“You don’t have the time or the freedom to do that, Rafael,” Sonny said sternly. “And you know it,” Sonny’s statement brought him back to reality.

“And you do?” He looked back up at Sonny.

“I’m a detective, Barba. It’s not like I do that much,” Sonny shrugged. “And I have enough PTO for a bit to take care of her. And she’s my responsibility! She’s MY family, Liv will understand that. What she won’t understand is you sitting Shiva at some young girl’s bedside who you barely know,”

“....And what are you going to do when she gets better?” Rafael ran a finger down your bare arm, wishing you would wake up and stop this nonsense your cousin was spewing.

“I’ll ask around,” Sonny now sat next to your bed. “I’ll find her a good place, somewhere she can be taken care of the right way, not some creepy mental hospital,”

“...Alright fine,” He sighed, looking at his watch. It was getting late, and he had an early court date.

“I’m coming back--”

“No, you’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “Look I promise you if she gets worse and needs your emergency liver or kidney or somethin’, I’ll let you know. Other than that, just-- leave her be,”

Rafael flashed back to the last time Sonny had used those words, and how as soon as he agreed, you heard him and it destroyed you. He couldn’t do that again, what if you could still hear him?

“No, I’m coming back--”

“Barba if you come back here I’m gonna tell the nurses that we broke up and you are no family member of hers,”

“You,” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that--”

“If it keeps you away from her, I’ll do anything right now Barba, I’m sorry,” Sonny gave him a sympathetic look.

“...She’ll never forgive you for this, Carisi,” He warned Sonny. “When she finds out you kept us apart she will never forgive you,”

“What are you Romeo and Juliet all of a sudden, counselor?” Sonny scoffed. “Give me a friggin break. I’m sure she’ll get over it, when she’s clean and sober and thinking straight,”

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he growled with a death glare.

“...Yeah, well--” Sonny stood up and started escorting Rafael out the door. “I guess that’s something I’ll just have to live with,”

Rafael glared at him once more before turning on his heels and stomping down the hall, just as you stirred from your med nap.

“Sunshine?” Sonny quickly ran to your bedside.

“Rafa..?” You sleepily asked, you swore you heard his voice just moments ago.

“It’s Sonny,” He nervously looked back at the door, making sure Rafael hadn’t heard you wake up and came running in again.

“Oh,” You blinked several times, trying to get your vision back. When the blur in your pupils resolved, you saw Sonny’s smiling face beaming at you.

“Hey there,” He kissed your forehead. “You scared the shit outta me there, Sunshine,”

“...I’m so sorry, Sonny,” You began to cry in remorse.

“Hey hey hey,” Sonny took you in his arms and shushed you while he rocked you. “Shh shh shh, you’re alright. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you when you were asking for help, I just--I just let you go,”

“...But Rafael didn’t,” You sniffled as you looked around the room for him. “Where is he?”

“He uh--” Sonny stammered. “He left, Sunshine. Early court meeting tomorrow, y’know. Lawyer stuff,”

“Right,” You nodded.

“...He said he wouldn’t be coming back,” Sonny added with a sympathetic look.

“What?” You blinked in disbelief. Had he really just taken off? Without even saying goodbye?

“Well it’s just,” Sonny took your hands. “Honey you’re-- you’re gonna have a lot to go through these next few weeks, maybe months. And Rafael--”

“He doesn’t have time for that,” You finished for him, accepting the truth.

“Yeah,” Sonny nodded slowly.

“Right,” You picked at your blanket as you stared down at it morosely. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more than him dropping me here. He tried telling me that he was--”

“He was what?” Sonny quirked an eyebrow. You thought about telling him that Rafael had said he was in love with you, but you weren’t entirely sure that happened anymore, given how out of it you were at the apartment.

“...He was ready for a relationship,” You lied. “But I guess he wasn’t ready for a dumpster fire of a girlfriend,”

“You’re not a dumpster fire, Sunshine,” Sonny assured you.

“...Yeah clearly this doesn’t scream ‘damaged goods’,” You gestured to all the wires you were hooked up to.

“You’re not--” Sonny sighed and shook his head as he wrapped his arms back around you. “You’ll find someone,”

“...Not someone like him,” You whispered sadly, tears dripping down onto your IV tube.

“Well hey,” Sonny coughed as he tried to change the subject. “I better get goin’ make sure you get some good sleep,”

“...But I was just--” You tried to say you had been sleeping this whole time.

“I’ll come check on you tomorrow, kay?” Sonny kissed your head and started heading towards the door. He hated to do this, but he had to keep you safe. He turned around and gave you a sad smile.

“Hey, Sunshine?”

“Yeah, Son?”

“I uh, I don’t wanna rub it in or nothin’, I just--” Sonny cleared his throat. “Barba wanted me to tell you not to contact him anymore,”

“...Oh,” You looked over at your phone, which was charging on the table next to your bed.

“He just thought it would be easier, y’know? Clean break and all,” Sonny lied with a sad smile.

“Yeah, sure no of course,” You nodded, trying to keep it together.

“Alright well, I’ll see ya,” He nodded one more time before shutting the door, leaving you alone.

You immediately grabbed your phone and began typing a message to Rafael, telling him how you were sorry and that you never should have tried to kick him out, and that he saved your life and that you knew you were a huge mess, but that you would clean yourself and do everything in your power to be good enough for him if he just let you--and you just stared at it.

You re-read it a thousand times, tears streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t send this, it was pathetic. He already made his choice, he tried to tell you he loved you and you had blown him off by almost dying in his arms. And he ran. You couldn’t blame him either, you’d run away faster than a Kenyan track star if you were him.

After going through all that bullshit with his dad, he’d never want to relive that with you, some girl he barely knew. There was no way. And begging him to come back to you after all the shit you said to him at your apartment was just pitiful.

You deleted the message and then started to delete his contact info, but you knew you needed to be drastic. If it was a clean break he wanted, you’d have to give it to him. You’d already put him through way too much stress and punishment than he deserved, you had to be stopped. You highlighted his number and hit “BLOCK NUMBER”, before deleting it from your phone.

There. Now there was no way you could find him, or vice versa. Clean break. You put the phone down next to you and laid down, realizing what you had just done. You had just deleted the potential love of your life from your existence, forever. You cried yourself to sleep, only dreaming of Rafael.

=============

Rafael laid down in his bed after getting home and showering the bad day off of him. He opened the text thread of your messages, and saw the ellipsis light up, signaling that you were typing. It was there for a long time, he became more and more anxious as they just flashed in the darkness, taunting him. He was so happy you were okay, he had to tell you what Sonny said but that he would never be able to keep him from you. He waited and waited, and then the dots were gone. He waited a moment for you to send it, but soon got impatient and just texted you

“Y/N I’m so glad you’re okay, you had me so worried. I miss you,”

He hit SEND, but was met with the most horrifying response:

“The number you have texted has blocked you from contacting them.”

“No…” He muttered alone in the dark. “No, this can’t be happening,”

Did Sonny have your phone? Did he do this? Did he tell you something to make you do this? Did you do this on your own when you realized he had left. Sonny had to have told you something bad, something diabolical. He had no way of contacting you now, and he would never get into the hospital to see you.

What was going on?

-------------

The next morning after his court session, Rafael headed over to the precinct to talk to Sonny. He practically sprinted through the door into the bullpen, to find it empty.

“...Where’s the SVU squad?” Rafael asked a cop at the front desk.

“Do I look like a concierge, Barba?” The cop rolled his eyes. “Does my badge say ‘doorman’? I don’t keep tabs on you people!”

“Thanks Louie,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he walked out of the station, dialing Sonny’s number on his phone.

“Hello?”

“What did you do?”

“Barba?”

“What did you do, Carisi?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N blocked my number,”

“Well good--”

“NO, not good. Carisi. What did you say to her?”

“Y’know Barba, maybe you should take the hint and move on,”

“Oh fuck you, Carisi,” He growled into the phone. “I’m going to the hospital,”

“Yeah well, good luck getting in here counselor,” Sonny shook his head with a small laugh, glancing over at you in your room, while he stood outside. “I’ve told the nurses you were a deadbeat dad who wanted to kidnap our niece for yourself, so they’re on alert not to let you anywhere near her,”

“You’re evil,” His voice was low and horrified.

“I’m doing what’s best for my baby cousin, Barba. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it,” Sonny spoke like a mob boss, tracing the glass on the window to your room.

“I’ll see her when she gets out,” Rafael sneered.

“Well that might be difficult, seeing as I’ve found her a very nice place to go as soon as she gets outta here. Somewhere far away from here, and you,” Sonny couldn’t help but smirk.

“No, Carisi don’t do this,” Rafael became desperate, his angry threats turned to pathetic pleas. “Please don’t send her away-- I love her,”

“If you love her you’ll let her go, Rafael,” Sonny simply said, ending the call before Rafael could say anything else.

“GOD DAMMIT!!!!” Rafael screamed in the middle of the foot traffic, making people turn and stare at him.

He had to fix this. He couldn’t let you leave thinking he didn’t want you. He couldn’t lose you, not now. Not after everything.

Was he going to lose you forever?

[lethargicsunlight]

'Demon': Prologue ♡ BakugouXFem!Reader (Book 1)

Alright I'm doing it.

I'm doing the thing.

It literally keeps me awake at night I gotta write thisss *cough* okay

Originally I was only going to post this unto Wattpad, but getting traction on their website is a little more difficult than good ole' Tumblr, so I'll be posting it on both. Feel free to visit my Wattpad here: LINK if you want to support my writing on that end. (I would so appreciate it)

This post is going to run pretty long, as it will host both the prologue of the story and my author's notes. Just a heads up.

Summery:

A slow-burn action/romance where you begin in the bowels of a Villain base and rise up to join U.A.'s top Hero Class. This life was your choice. In the event of learning then losing the love of a friend, you make a decision that changes your reality at the core--to become an imposter among villains and bring them down from the inside out. The organization that ruined your premature perfect life was known as H.H., after their leader Head-Honcho. His crime of choice: intelligence. Training and conducting espionage agents and assassins across Japan as a means to further the dark underground network. Your training began at thirteen, after managing to impress the multi-faced villain with your stealth and your conviction. Rumors would soon spread through the dark alleys of Naruhata City of a masked assassin known as Demon, whose bare face could steal the souls of her targets. Everything appears to be going to plan; but the Hero Agencies you've been slipping information to are calling for an end to your superior sooner than you had anticipated. Your time as 'Demon' is limited. What will happen when your world comes crashing down? Where will you go, when everything you had known you helped to destroy?

AUTHOR'S NOTES

This is a slow burn fan-fic; and I am not italicizing those words without reason. This is going to be an agonizingly slow action-packed adventure-romance. This is a self-insert story, just like my three-part series 'Some Combat Training' (link) where you as the protagonist will not be described outside of being female, general physique, and a generalization of your uniform(s). Skin, hair, eyes, etc. will not be described at all--besides ambiguous adjectives. That said, I am taking liberties with physique and stature due to the nature of the story. You're abilities rely on stealth as well as close and fast combat, therefore you are described as 'small', 'lithe', 'athletic', and all of those other fancy little ninja woman words. Your personality has been shaped by the events of your life and the people within it; but if I were to describe it I would choose words like: Intelligent, determined, self-sacrificing, quiet, humble, and studious. The story will follow along with the anime for the most part starting at around the time of the USJ event, though at some point the story will branch off and become more my original concoction. (Such as, fast-forwarding the time-line to when the characters are older.) Some information about you as the protagonist will not be written here, as I plan for those to be revelations within the story. There will be angst, blood and gore, adult-humor, trauma, death, bad language and warnings will be listed with each chapter as needed. Feel free to comment on those chapters as soon as you see something that isn't mentioned that might make someone (if not yourself) feel uncomfortable. I will not be offended. This story is meant to get a little dark. Please comment if you can about your opinions! I have never posted an on-going fic before, and anything you have to say I would appreciate! <3 Now, please enjoy this short prologue~ Chapter 1 is being reviewed and edited, to be release very soon! 👹🖤⛓🔪💣 ...four...five...six.. You counted the footsteps behind your left ear, round the corner of the dim abandoned subway. You'd been stationary; still so long that your digits had all but numbed. Turn... one...two...three... The footsteps were distancing from the hall your attention had been set upon. A T-section, where the entity had gone down and away from your destination. You had to cross that 'T' to get to the junction--where you needed to leave a note completely undetected. The slightest mis-step would lead to suspicion. Suspicion would lead to investigation. Investigation lead to the five percent chance they could find that note--and no percentage was too small. It all hinged on absolute perfection. Nine...ten...eleven... This was their fifth round. A patrol. You had to make sure their movement were predictable before this would work--despite having successfully delivered the note fourty-two times and counting--you did not have the luxury of assumption. Only if their stride was even, only if you absolutely knew they were moving at a certain pattern, could you depend on the following information: It took fifteen steps before they would reach the broken light on their route. The haze of the dust and pollutants reflected in the working lights prior to that was your cover. Cross the 'T', leave the note, and cross it again. Out of sight and out of earshot, mission successful. Fourteen... f-- You turn, and it takes three steps to arrive at the drop to the tracks. You bunch and leap, and even the quietest friction of fabric from your uniform creases your brow. You land, just outside of the light's reach on the thin concrete slab beyond. Your eyes track the metals, the jutting wall tiles; that with which the barest touch could emit a sound--and you maneuver around them. Under, creeping low--and over, leaping to land on the balls of your feet and checking your balance before moving forward. Careful to not cast a shadow into the hall. Paced, so as not to move too quickly nor too slowly. Counting, because every second was controlled and calculated. You reach the juncture, and once again

edging the light you propel yourself to land back on the main thoroughfare. The next obstacle--removing the loose brick. Behind a metal bench centered between two closed-in stair cases, where the tile meets what had once been a decorative brick mosaic; eight bricks right and eighteen bricks up, was your note's destination. Just above your head, where you had to bend at an awkward angle to reach. Not practical, less detectable. You're wearing tight fabric gloves with grips on the pads, but thin enough you can feel the texture of the brick as you gently lace your fingers at each of the corners. Lifting, centering, and pulling the brick from its slot. Holding it just right, you can avoid the loud scrapes and grinds--but you have to hold it perfectly centered. Success. In goes the note. As does the brick, back into the wall. But you're only half-way done. Leap. Quiet, maneuver, avoid, measure. Silent. Leap. Hide. You're back is once again at the wall, the footsteps of the lackey you'd been avoiding closing in proximity to the Hall you'd just left. Four... five... six... Your eyes focus on the wall opposite of you as you ground yourself. The next few seconds determined a new reality. Either they followed their pattern, or they didn't. You had to be flexible. No assumptions. If they move towards the junction, you have to follow. If they move towards you, you'd calculate on your feet. Seven... eight... nine.. Turn. ...one...two...three.. You don't relax. Even after you count their steps to fifteen, even as you slip away back through the hall, even as you exit the unattended vent and breathe in fresh air--you don't relax until you're sitting on the floor in your room, calming down, your mask in your hands. After checking to make sure your door had not been opened, and no one had looked for you. No tracks in the dust. Only then do you allow yourself to ruminate on the contents of the note you had written, because you could still see every letter of it in your mind. ------ 55-1, Minami Senju 5-chome, Musutafu Target: Fukui Mitsuo Floor 8 3 AM. 7. Accompanied. Head. ------ For the briefest moment, you feel your hands shake. They always did on these nights. Realistically, you'd left no openings. Tested and re-tested every method. Calculated every movement. Left nothing to chance. But the 'what-if's' still linger, and you let them. The fear is good. It keeps you on your toes, your mind on edge, your tongue to the roof of your mouth. If he found out, you wouldn't know it until it was over. So you pretended he already did. Below you, underground in his base, plotting how to get at you when you were most vulnerable. Tear you to pieces, throw you in a pit or in a cage. No--too risky, he'd just kill you. A dead-end is better than a possibility. You'd learned that from him. You swallow, head turning so the amber morning sky is in your peripheral. All things considered, you would still unfortunately need sleep. You cherished the brief moments of sunlight and let your mind swim in the memories of your childhood spent in the daytime; before retiring to the broken and borrowed mattress. Seven days. You would check the location of your note in two. If there is another note in response, you would create a reactionary plan. The pattern continues. Until he finds out. ...Until he finds out.

[your-local-terror]

Hey everyone! I need your help!

I have been looking for a movie I used to watch as a little kid for a long time now, and I'd consider it lost media, I will be posting on every one of my platforms until something is uncovered, if this goes on long enough a separate blog in search of this film will be made. Here is the reddit post I made explaining what I know about it, and if you do not wish to read it on the site I copied what I said and it will be under the cut

Note; link might not work I am struggling to keep the post up lol.

Hey everyone, I am trying my best to find this film, I do remember it to an extent, and I will be explaining everything that I know here. Please note, I watched this a lot when I was younger, maybe around the ages 6 or 7, and I have already tried looking for this for months. (Also please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, and I am only typing what sounds right.)

First, the title. It was something along the lines or mangy/maxie/mangemouse. It was always 'something'mouse that started with an m, but at the same time last night while I was looking and trying to remember exactly what it was called, it could also have been started with an f, either that or my memory is tricking me.

Now onto the story, I do remember the basic plot and what happened so I will try to make this as detailed as possible here, but please note not everything will be to the dot. So mangy/maxie/mangemouse[I think i'll call him Maxie for sake of shortness] was made by some old clay sculptor, who enjoyed making little clay mice, and I remember that in his home were some talking mice as well who would come out to watch him finish his product, I don't remember if he knew or talked to them, all I knew is they were talking mice. One night, he was finishing up with painting a little mouse with blueish-grey fur and a red cardigan. He brought it over to some type of metal tube which he set it on a tray and moved it into the (what I can only assume was an) oven. He then leaves the house and goes through his backyard to his own home and goes to sleep.(I'm not sure if he did cross his backyard or not so take that part with a pinch of salt) The next day he gets up and looks outside only to realize that in the house where the clay he made last night was burning (he could see smoke no flames) so he got up and ran to the room in which the clay mouse was cooking, and the tube thing was smoking so in a panic he opened it up and brought the mouse out, which was now a bit deformed, as it had long cat-like back legs and big rabbit-like ears, and the fur was no longer bluish-grey and was now greyish-blue, almost a light royal blue color. I also think it was missing it's tail? Anyways, upset that his clay mouse was ruined he brings it into his home and puts it on his nightstand, I do not remember much else from this scene but I do remember when he went to bed again, some magic stuff happened and Maxie was brought to life, and then snuck out of the house to go off on his own.

Now, there are a lot of plot holes from here in my mind, as the 2 other scenes I remember are far apart from one another and I'm sure there was stuff in between each of them, so please excuse how random this feels.

Now the thing I remember next is Maxie meeting a schoolgirl, she feeds him half of her sandwich and lets him rest in her pocket while she goes to school. After school some bully kid makes fun of her for something, and he takes Maxie from her, and she's scared that he's gonna hurt the small creature so she bites him on the hand hard, to which he lets Maxie go. Maxie stays with the girl as a teacher comes over to make sure she says sorry and scolds the boy a bit for being mean to her at all (the girl was crying by now too due to the stress of the situation) Once that is all covered the teacher gets the girl to talk about Maxie, and explains to both of them that Maxie's species is some special species who has to go meet with a mangy/maxie/mangecat to get eaten and fulfill a prophecy (almost everyone he meets recognizes him as this and tells him so, and his quest then turns into one of finding this mangy/maxie/mangecat thing) and he then leaves the girl with a tearful goodbye.

The next scene I remember is Maxie being in a circus, and befriending a tiger, whom he helps escape, there is also a scene with him scaring the elephants and such but otherwise I don't remember. Then he runs off with the tiger, who is then chased by dogs as the police want to hunt it down and kill it. He helps the tiger escape by doing something as distraction with scent and otherwise I do not remember anything else form here, aside from when he went home he rode in a truck and the tiger was on the radio. I also believe the tiger was killed at some point in a car wreak due to this. Or just injured, either that or the tiger was in the car because now that I think about it, someone tried to steal it by putting it in the trunk, and thus caused a chase scene that caused someone to die, most likely the person driving or the tiger (they crashed into a tree)

Now, onto the final scenes I remember.

Our dear friend Maxie takes a train I believe to get to where the mangy/maxie/mangecat is (for this I will call them Mange) and visits their home, he is welcomed in with open arms and they sit down at the table and eat crackers while Mange's wife (another mangy/maxie/mangecat) starts to cry and excuses herself. While she is gone, Maxie and Mange discuss that Mange will have to eat them in a ceremony, and how neither of them would like that to happen but it must be done. For the rest of the movie's tone, even the tiger death, this was a really big tone shift as it got more serious for a bit. After that, they get ready and head out to a stratum where Maxie is set on a plate for Mange to eat, while mice and cats watch on from the stands, mice yelling protests and cats cheering Mange on. There is a whole scene where Maxie avoids any knives/forks Mange tries to jab him with before Mange cries and exclaims that he does not want to eat Maxie, and instead they will become friends and thus screws over whatever prophecy was going on (there was no magic or curse that went with it so it wouldn't like, damn everyone if they didn't do it) and Maxie and Mange decide to become neighbors, with Maxie living in a tree growing above Mange's house (which is like, half of the hill) and Maxie marries a field mouse and has a bunch of kids and that's where it ends.

Side notes; Maxie can speak to everyone in this movie, all previous friends are never brought up again once he leaves them (as they were only plot relevant for that time) and the entire movie has a studio ghibli kind of theme for the art style, I also think that Mange and Maxie had real names that they were given, but I am not aware.

I have been looking for months and therefore I have no references, because even looking up plot points or variations of the name or description of the characters I get nothing. Please I ask of you all to help me reunite with my childhood, I'll continue to look on my own end, but some outside assistance would be absolutely wonderful. If anybody gets any small speck of information, I would greatly appreciate it. I will be sharing this story on other platforms as well (as the form of a copy-paste) in hopes of finding something, thank you for your time.

[hazzabeeforlou]

heyyy toni <3 hope ure having an amazing day!!

with the things happening, i am very mad at h. he has done multiple things in the past that prove(?) he's a zionist. ofc celebrities are not required to comment on every single political event, but i think it is necessary for h to clarify this time. i really really don't feel good and i really despise him rn bc of it. i feel like it's impossible for me to like him anymore

Hi babe! First of all, you don’t have to feel obligated to like or support any celebrity. For any reason. Period. If they cross a line for you, that’s okay. You can unstan.

Second, the key word here is “has done things in the past.” I really hope he has learned about this issue and changed his stance, but we have no way of knowing as for whatever reason Harry doesn’t speak about much these days. Zionism is a tricky subject and a super complex issue, and upon first introduction many many people believe that they’re supporting the Jewish people via supporting Israel. Lots of propaganda and misinformation exists, and is propagated by MOSTLY evangelical white people here in the US, who use Israel as a chess piece for their “end times” propaganda/rapture/return of Jesus shit. I read an interesting article about Bernie Sanders and how he contrasts the new Jewish masculinity/Zionism and how that movement has co-opted white supremacy and strict patriarchal capitalism/colonialism to serve the interests of the global west. Anyway.

Honestly I believe that for most people, a social media post from Harry is a way for them to say “well I stan the perfect Harry Styles who has atoned for his past beliefs and now is a GOOD,” like it’s a turducken way of once again proving how great we personally are and how pure our hearts because we only stan “unproblematic” people. I despise how social media has made it seem like Harry Styles speaking out on the apartheid conditions of the Palestinian people is somehow anything more than a way for him (and by extension us) to avoid doing anything tangible to actually impact the situation.

There is no such thing as an unproblematic person, celebrity or not. Demanding celebrities make statements doesn’t change a fucking THING. Demand your congressional representative stops sending Israel BILLIONS in weapons and defenses every year. Demand that printing houses stop publishing propaganda magazines like “Israel My Glory” that cons evangelicals into believing Israel is in spiritual war for the future of Christianity. OR, demand your fave celebs give money to the multiple fundraisers that will directly help those on the ground who are fighting for their freedom, to keep their ancestral homes, to live without constant police state oppression and systemic murder. Because just by holding over 50 million in wealth and assents, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson for that matter, are already not pure. Imagine all the causes and things that money could do. I don’t want them to post a link for us poor fans to donate, or for them to give som paltry amount that they’ll make back in tax write offs.

My point is, you are valid to unstan anyone for not aligning with your beliefs. Keep in mind though that shifting the focus to celebrity statements when human rights are being violated, seems to me a trite way of engaging with these very serious issues.

[nypmphetsbastard]

Paradis Island ch2

Genre: slowburn fanfiction, college!au

Pairings: yelena x fem!oc

Summary: college becomes a whirlpool of new people and emotions once you meet a woman by the name of yelena manages to weasel her way into your once perfect life and tear down everything you ever thought to be true. together, she introduces you to new world she likes to call 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱.

Warnings: angst, smut, hurt/comfort, struggles with religion, homophobia

A/N: reminder that this story is also posted on ao3 [NYMPHETSBASTARD]

————————

PIECK'S FRIENDS couldn't be described anything short of...odd. Porco didn't talk much and when he did it was always sarcasm slipping out of his tongue and multiple eye rolls. Hange was....a character. You had recently come to find out about their wild science obsession that they swore up and down wasn't an obsession, was the main part of their personality. They rambled about random scientific theories that were proven right, wrong, unidentifiable and theories they believed to be correct. It was interesting and gave you a new perceptive on a lot of things you haven't thought about before.

Hange tackled you into a hug and rocked the two of you back and forth on the sidewalk outside of the library. Porco both tried and failed trying to get them off you and with a sigh he just gave up.

"I'm gonna miss you so much! Thank you for listening to me!" They pulled away with a gasp, "We need to hang out again soon! I have so much to tell you about!" You laughed at their excitement

"Okay okay Hange, I think she gets it." Pieck chuckled lightly, Hange dismissively waved their hand at their dark haired friend and pushed up their satchel.

"Bye! It was nice meeting you!" Hange exclaimed, waving their arm around wildly and almost smacking Porco in the face, earning them a glare from the blonde.

"See ya." Porco waved, ignoring Hange's air talking towards you that said 'call me' with a fake phone in their hand.

Laughing at Hange being yanked away by Porco for taking too long, you turned back to Pieck as she linked her arm in yours.

"You're friends are interesting." You pointed out, Pieck giggled and nodded

"Yeah they're definitely different, but I prefer a couple of weirdos than a big group of fake friends." Nodding in understanding, you began to think back to your home town.

"I wouldn't know. I've never had many friends and the one friend I did have barley paid attention to me or my life so..." you mumbled, drifting off thinking about how sad your life actually was.

"Well don't worry, you're not missing out on much." Pieck nudged you, "I had a big group of friends in high school and the one thing I learned is that popular people are only popular for their looks, definitely not personality." You two laughed together, "The group ended up being problematic for a lot of reasons and the only ones left that were still close were me and Porco. Funny thing is, Hange used to be considered a huge nerd in our school and our group made fun of them but me and Porco hung out with them and for some reason we just..,couldn't shake em off. They love us and we love them, even they do have a little screws loose in the head."

You laughed her joke but couldn't help but think about yourself. Wishing you had friends that cared about you and talked about you like Pieck did even when you weren't around.

Noticing your frown, Pieck nudged you once more, "And now you're our friend" you smiled at her and nodded. The one question that had been itching at your for hours finally felt like enough as you looked down at your moving feet.

"So...what's the deal with...Yelena?" It felt almost sinful saying her name, Pieck's attention instantly turned to you at the mention of her name.

"What do you mean?"

"Like...are you guys friends or....? How did you become close?" You asked hesitantly, the fair skinned girl looked over at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you asking me how to get a date with Yelena?" Pieck questioned, you stopped in your tracks and looked at her with wide eyes.

"No no no no no, I-I'm not— I don't— my religion I-" you sputtered out nervously, Pieck's eyebrows came together at your random word vomit as she crossed her arms staring at you, "I mean! I'm fine with gay people I just— I'm not" your words were cut off by Pieck's soft angelic laugh.

"Relax, kid. I don't think you're homophobic but your questions were a little...off putting" She searched for the words to say and cringed at the one she came up with, you shook you head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"No it's fine. I'm not actually close with Yelena...in that way, I am in other ways but we're not really good with day to day conversations. That's Zeke's job. They've been friends since middle school I think and I guess it's stayed that way, don't know why but I guess history keeps friendship alive." She shrugged, you nodded and fished out your dorm room key out of your pocket, unlocking the door and bringing the two of you inside.

Honestly, you didn't understand why you felt such a pull towards Yelena. She was nothing short of intimidating, she wasn't short of anything actually. Her tall stature loomed over everybody in the room no matter how tall they believed they were, she was taller. Not only that, her dark colored sanpaku eyes made her already bored expressions look so blank yet so intimidating at the same time. She was an enigma to you. One you couldn't figure out.

"Shit, we don't have anything to drink." Pieck cursed, taking a look inside the mini fridge she had under her desk. Technically there wasn't enough space in the door to get an actual fridge so Pieck had just bought a mini fridge and insisted the two of you share it.

"I'll get some juice from the vending machine." You offered, Pieck let out a breath and gratefully took your offer.

"Here, buy me a cranberry juice, please?" You took the money Pieck handed you and nodded, sliding on some frog slippers and making your way own out of the dorm and towards the vending machine.

Truthfully? You had no idea where the vending machine was. A small glance towards it while walking past gave you idea enough that the machine existed, where? Well you'd have to figure that out. Trying to retrace your steps at any was hard enough given how short your memory was so you tried your best to think of the last time you crossed it. You probably looked crazy peaking over every corner you came across and looking up at the sky trying to remember but it was nearly one in the morning so you doubted anyone was just casually walking around for fun.

"Are you looking for something?" Asked a familiar voice from behind you, you whipped around and definitely did not make eye contact with whoever was in front of you. Your eyes slowly slid up till they landed on the two eyes you couldn't get out of your mind.

"Huh?" You choked out

"You're walking around like you don't know where you're going, are you looking for something?" She explained patiently, you blinked as the wheels in your head finally began turning.

"O-oh yeah, I am actually! Do you know where the vending machine is?" You asked despite your nervousness, the short haired girl looked at you with a blank face for a moment before she titled her head to the side and let her eyes fall behind you to the large vending machine that sat at the end of the open alleyway. Nearly heating up in embarrassment, you quietly thanked her and walked over to the large machine.

Your mind was so clouded with forcing yourself to not embarrass yourself while also trying to remember what drink Pieck asked you to get her that you didn't even notice the steps getting closer. Her steps got closer and closer till she walked around your crouched frame and leaned against the wall. You could barley look over at her, only catching the click of metal and the hiss of a lighter. Yelena snapped the metal lighter shut and looked over at you.

"You like cranberry juice?" She asked, pointing at the small bottle in your hand as a small smirk gracing her lips as she popped the cigarette in her mouth.

"Mmh? Oh no this isn't for me it's...it's for Pieck." You explained, Yelena simply nodded and continued taking a drag from the deadly paper wrapped nicotine. Deciding to finally make a move, you walked over to her and leaned against the wall as she'd done previously.

"Smoking is bad for you." You said bluntly, Yelena chuckled and blew the smoke out of her nose.

"I know." She stated simply.

It was a one word response, not much for a conversation but it didn't need to be. You were fine just staring at her while she stared right back, not a word being said. For once in your life, silence wasn't awkward or condescending. It was just...quiet. The kind of quiet you seeked in the middle of the night when your parents fought or when the day felt like too much, the kind of quiet you craved in the middle of an overcrowded area, the kind of quiet you longed for. You didn't mind the quiet. You didn't mind the quiet with her.

In your eyes is your humanity, the person you really are. There are times it gets lost, when you wear that facade, the facade of not caring about anyone or anything. But in that alleyway you stared into each other's souls. She said cheeky was good; she let you be yourself. You laughed so much, at times stopping because you knew a torrent of giggles would wake any scholars in nearby dorms. That's all you ever needed to connect to her in that moment, you and her, just eyes, no words. If you were mute your words and hushed giggled it would be all the same.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back to the unattractive snort that nearly made it out as Yelena chuckled at you,

"Hey, I'm serious! It was a very traumatizing experience." She joked, pushing your shoulder lightly

"And you just had to share that traumatic experience with me of all people?"

"Well, who else was I gonna tell the story of how I found a birthmark in the shape of Texas on Zeke's ass?" At that point you couldn't let it in and just begin laughing at her serious face, you looked away and leaned your head on your hand that rested on your knees as the two of you sat on the sidewalk.

"Literally anyone else! You have so many friends." You exclaimed. Yelena sighed and leaned back, holding herself up on one arm and running the other hand through her short blond hair.

"Not real friends. My 'friends' haven't laughed with me like this in...years." She revealed

"What about Zeke?" Just as the words slipped out, the blond woman's eyes widened as she side eyed you.

"Zeke? You think Zeke has any humors bone in his body?" Yelena asked incredulously, at that you truly snorted and let your head fall forward.

"Okay, okay, fair point." You agreed, lifting your head up just on time to see the woman letting her tongue slip out from her mouth and wet her pink lips, a silver shine of metal catching your eye in a quick second.

"You have a tongue piercing?" You asked curiously, besides the obvious silver septum piercing with horns pointing out the end, you never even noticed the metal piece in her mouth.

"Yeah" was all she said, dropping her hand between her man spread legs and looking at you with a head tilt.

"Can I see?" Yelena looked at you and smirked before leaning in closer

"Well you'd have to take your pants off for that." You blinked

"h-huh?" You stuttered, not expecting the answer. The blond chuckled at your nervous state and stood up in front of you, leaning down and grabbing your chin in her hand, her face getting closer to yours.

"You're an adorable little kitten, aren't you?" She whispered, you sat paralyzed as the two of you stared into each other's eyes once more, your eyes faltering down to her lips once more.

Sucking your teeth, you looked away from her sharp gaze and focused your attention on a random garbage bag a couple feet away from you .

"I have a name, you know?" You asked with a raised eyebrow, Yelena stood up at her full height and tucked her hands into her pockets looking down at you.

"Of course you do. See you around, kitten." Were her final words before she sauntered off, leaving you starstruck on the sidewalk.

You dropped your head backwards till it hit the soft plush bed you'd been craving the entire day. Falling asleep was one of the best parts of the day, there in the cozy blankets, snug and safe was where you could finally let go and let the world of dreams come to you in its dancing way. Let your mind rewind recent events and turn it into some weird ball of a mess that you would t even remember once the sun rose and your tired eyes blinked open.

Warm hands shrugged you somewhat roughly, effectively waking you up and not giving your mind enough time to catch up.

"Psst, it's time to wake up." Whispered a soft voice, you groaned and rubbed your eyes.

Once you adjusted to the natural lights beaming through the window, your mind finally processed Pieck running around your shared bedroom and dropping random clothes onto your bed hurriedly.

"What's going on?" You asked groggily

"You told me you have Professor Erwin first period, I had him last year and trust me you do not want to be late to his class, especially on the first day." She rushed out, handing you a random pair of sneakers as the wheels in your head finally began turning and you realized you had to get your ass out the door and to his classroom in 15 minutes.

"Oh fuck-" you cursed, throwing on the clothes Pieck had picked out for you and being stopped in your tracks by the short woman who shoved a croissant in your mouth and pushed you out of the dorm, not waiting to hear your mumble of gratitude from behind the piece of bread and butter.

Honestly, it hadn't processed how much Pieck for you beforehand until you made it to class and realized she'd packed your school laptop, a notebook and pencil in your bag as you made it to a random seat in Erwin's class just before he closed the door. You sent a prayer to the goddess known as Pieck Finger and immediately began immersing yourself into whatever came out of your professors mouth.

A small noise from behind you caused you to turn around and notice Hange sitting directly behind you with a wide smile. They waved excitedly at you but put their pen up to their lips as a way to tell you to be quiet. You smiled at them and turned back to focus to the lesson, making sure to write down anything that seemed slightly important. It was only after class that you felt you could finally breathe.

"Hey again!" Exclaimed a voice beside you, you looked over and smiled over at Hange.

"Hey Hange, what's up?"

"Nothing much, I woke up super early today and even got in a early jog before class."

"Pfft, cant relate. I woke up so later today by the time I even gained consciousness Pieck had already packed my bags, thrown a random outfit at me, put a croissant in my mouth and threw me out the door" you explained, Hange laughed and nodded.

"Yep, sounds like Pieck. She's just naturally like that, although I'm surprised she didn't wake you up earlier rather than just shoving you out the door." Hange observed, you shrugged.

"Oh well, at least I made it on time. I'm pretty sure Erwin was about two seconds from shoving the door in my face." The two of you laughed at the joke till you finally made it to a cross way.

"I gotta go but I'll see you later, okay?" Hange patted your shoulder and you nodded at their words, agreeing to meet up with them sometime after your classes.

Picking a random seat, you slumped down in your chair and began pulling out your laptop as the teacher started to set their things up as well. The warm hand in your cheek nearly lulled you into a slumber as the class dragged on for a while. After the 4th period, you could finally rest your head on your arms and lean against the desk as your teacher just rambled on about their life story, effectively dragging out the period even longer.

Finally, you lifted your head and rubbed the back of your neck as you made your way back to your dorm room. A mistake on your part to lay your head on a hard desk and ruin your posture even more, straining your neck in order to find a comfortable position. This tiredness didn't seem to pick up on the 'Do Not Disturb' sign at the handle of your door as you pushed your way into the room. Mistake.

The two bodies occupying the bed on the right jumped apart at the sound of the door opening but didn't turn around to face you.

"Can't you read?!" Shouted a familiar voice, your eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and noticed Pieck laying under a mess of short blonde hair, her eyes not meeting yours until you spoke up.

"Oh shit...I- sorry" you stuttered out in a moment of shock, and only then did Pieck's brown eyes met yours. They widened significantly and pushed the blonde body off of them, revealing the same face you had been staring and blushing at the night before.

"Wait—!"

Now that was when you well and truly slammed the door shut and stepped back, not waiting to hear Pieck's response before immediately doing a 180 and started walking down the hallway. The squeak of a door behind you and the rush of steps trying to catch up to you was all you needed to hear to know that Pieck had run out after you.

She grabbed your arm and spinner you around, "Oh my god, I am so sorry! I forgot to tell you about the sign and—" she sputtered out

"Pieck it's fine! I'm not your mom, I can't stop you from having sex." your eyes lifted away from Pieck's, taking notice of Yelena who stood outside your dorm room door watching the interaction with the same blank expression she always wore. "But a warning would be very much appreciated next time." She sighed and pulled you into her arms.

"Of course, of course. I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind today." Pieck apologized profusely, while you wanted to be even a bit mad, you couldn't help but wrap your arms around her as well yet let your eyes fall back onto Yelena.

It was only now that you felt awful about last night, the moment you and Yelena shared made you feel like you had gone behind Pieck's back and made out with her girlfriend or something. You pulled away from the hug and adjusted the straps of your bag on your shoulders.

"Um you guys can...continue, I'm just gonna go." You said, motioning away awkwardly trying to hint at your new escape.

"No no no you don't have to, we could just find somewhere else to go, I don't wanna kick you out of your own room." Pieck insisted, regret flashing in her eyes at your words.

Subconsciously, your eyes went back to Yelena again. "No it's fine, I'm meeting up with Hange in the library anyway. You two...do what you do. I'll bring you back something to eat." You dismissed Pieck's suggestion, waving her off and turning around to make your way to the library, not turning your back once to see not only one but two eyes burning into the back of your skull.

Mistakes were all you seemed to be making today.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Leviathan - Chapter 106 (Rena)

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 105. Chapter 107.

A/N - Since there's been some confusion about it in the past, thought I'd make it clear here. Carth's narration is in orange text, if the orange doesn't show up please let me know but with tumblr's new post editor it should work. Bastila's narration is pink - my original idea was yellow but not only would that be illegible it's not an option. Same deal, if it doesn't show up let me know. Plus, I don't know if anyone watches the videos when I add them to chapters, but this one, you gotta watch this one.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——–

When the elevator opens, I get… a horrible feeling. Like someone’s walking on my grave. And no one mourns me. Everything feels cold. Like that dream on Dantooine. I think Bastila shivers a bit but I don’t think Carth feels it. But how could I know, he’s blocked himself off from me. As we fight our way through to hangar control the feeling just gets worse and worse. Seeing the Hawk makes me feel a little better, but not for long.

I don’t want to be here. This is the only way to get to the hangar, but I don’t want to be here at all. I’m not ready. I don’t want to be here. I can’t calm down. It’s dark. And cold. I don’t want to be here.

The blast door opens. We didn’t move fast enough. It’s him. It’s Malak.

Carth starts to step forward with his blasters but I reach out my hand to stop him. My dream will not happen. I won’t let it. Malak laughs, and it sends a chill through me. And also a strong feeling of hatred. But it’s not a general hatred, like I would have if it was like “knowing the things you’ve done and what you stand for, I hate you.” This is a personal hatred. “I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila,” Malak says. His voice is channeled through an apparatus on his chin. He has no jaw. “I've spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now. Besides,” he says, looking at me, “I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now I can hardly believe my eyes… tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?”

I try not to be nervous, but I can’t help it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, “I’ve never met you, this isn’t a reunion.”

He laughs again. Over and over again. What in the goddamn hell is so funny? “What?” he laughs, “You mean you don't know? All this time, and you still haven't figured it out? I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth? Surely some of what you once were must have surfaced by now.” “Once were”? I’m a scout, I’ve always been a scout. What the hell is going on? “Even the combined power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?”

… no. What? No. No that can’t be right. That’s not me. That can’t be me, I can’t be… Revan. No, I’m not. I wasn’t. That can’t be right. But it was my face! No. No that can’t be right. It’s not right. No. I look back at Carth. He can’t look at me. But this isn’t right! I’m not Revan! I can’t be. I remember being a scout!

Is that why all this felt so familiar? The Sith on the bridge - I knew them? Maybe? Is that why Jedi training went so fast? Muscle memory? I already learned how to use the Force and fight with a lightsaber. And why Master Zhar said I was a special case. Why the Star Map on Kashyyyk knew me. But…

… it isn’t right! No!

“You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan!” Malak says. Shut the hell up! “Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord - and know that I have taken your place!”

“No,” I say, “No, this isn’t right. Revan is dead.”

“You do not yet remember, Revan?” Stop calling me that! “The Jedi set a trap. They lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack a team of Jedi knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Council used the Force to reprogram your mind; they wiped away your identity and turned you against your own followers!”

No. No it’s not true. It can’t be true. No. No. “No. No, it’s not true.”

“You must have seen flashes of your old life in your dreams, Revan; memories bubbling up to the surface? Surely you must remember the battle in which you were captured?” On Taris… but she said it was just a dream. A memory. Her memory. My memory… “How you survived the final battle is a mystery to me,” Malak says, “Perhaps you should ask Bastila; after all, she was part of the Jedi strike team that captured you!”

Yes. She was. She was there. I look at her. I hate her. “Bastila?”

“It’s true,” she says. I hate her. “I was part of the team sent to capture Revan… to capture you.” I hate her! “When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured. We thought you were dead.” They should have left me. But if they left me, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t know Carth, or Jolee, or Canderous, or Mission, or T3, or anybody. But is that worth leaving a mass murderer alive? Is the fact that I’ve lived a better life away from the Dark Side worth all the lives Revan took? Am I worth it? “Your mind was destroyed, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind.”

No. No. “But I have memories. I don’t remember Revan, but I remember a whole life. Planets I explored, species I discovered, stories to tell. I’m a scout!”

“The Jedi Council didn't restore your wounded mind, Revan!” Malak says, “They merely programmed it with a new identity - one loyal to the Republic! They tried to make you their slave!”

So… Bastila… I thought she was my friend! Or at least someone I could count on, someone I could trust! “You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”

“I wanted to tell you but the Council forbid it!”

“So once again you put an idea before a person!” I shout at her. I can’t help it - I hate her! “How could you justify that? How could you? How in your twisted mind could an idea be more important than a living breathing person?”

“They were afraid you might return to the dark side if you discovered your real identity!” she says, “You could have hurt more living breathing people!”

“But now you know the truth, Revan!”

I turn to Malak, and scream at him, “Shut the FUCK up! I’m not talking to you!”

He laughs. What part of “shut the fuck up” did he not understand? “And there is the Revan I remember! No longer holding back your rage!”

“What part of ‘shut up’ did you not understand?” I say. Even without a jaw, I can see his smug grin, but he leans back and crosses his arms. I turn my attention back to Bastila. “Why didn’t you just let me die?”

“For the same reason you are always concerned for the lives of others,” Bastila says, “The Jedi hold all life sacred, even that of a Sith Lord. I could not just let you die. Not if it was possible to save you.”

Malak laughs again. “Hiding the truth behind noble words,” he says, “The Jedi needed the memories buried deep in your wounded mind, Revan; there was no other way to bring them out. They had to keep you alive!”

I’m not listening to him. “And the new identity - why?”

“We couldn’t simply restore your true identity…”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

“Revan was too dangerous - we couldn’t.” Sounds like “wouldn’t” to me. “But locked inside your mind was information the Republic needed: the secrets of the Star Forge. The Council created an identity for you: a scout transferred under my command. Your subconscious memories were supposed to lead me to the Star Forge; there was no other way to get the information.”

“They made you their puppet, Revan,” Malak says, “and Bastila was the handler pulling your strings!”

“Why you? Why are you here? Why did they choose you? You were my friend - why would you do this to me?”

“I used my Force powers to keep you alive on that bridge - it created our bond,” she says. That goddamned bond! “I convinced the Council that I could use that bond to draw out your memories and lead us to the Star Forge.”

“Tell the truth, Bastila,” Malak says, “you wanted to taste the Dark Side for yourself! You knew the only way the Council would permit you to explore the Sith's power was through Revan's lost memories!”

“No!” she says, “I wanted to help you, Revan.”

I scoff. “But you wouldn't mind helping yourself along the way, I bet.” After all, she thought this was an audition for masterdom - she’s looked for power before.

“Revan, I thought this mission would redeem you; that it would atone for your past crimes. How else could you be saved?”

No. No. “You used me! You and the whole Council! I trusted you! And you used me and lied to me the whole time!”

“Rena, Malak nearly killed you, but the Jedi Council gave you another chance to live! They gave you a chance to redeem yourself by defeating the Sith!”

“A rash and futile hope,” Malak says, “The Dark Side is too strong, my power is too great! Even my old master is no longer a match for me!” He turns to me. What was before anxiety and fear is now firmly rage and anger. At Bastila, at the Council, at Malak, at me. “A small part of me has always regretted betraying you from afar,” Malak says, “I always knew there were some who would think I acted out of fear, that I did not want to face you. But now fate has given me a second chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; my triumph will be complete!” He reaches out a hand, and Bastila and Carth are both immobilized. “The Jedi Council were foolish to let you live. I won't make the same mistake. We shall finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition: master versus apprentice, as it was meant to be!”

I am. Absolutely. Done. Today has gone on long enough. I have had it. “You wanna know something?” I say, “This is, categorically, the worst day of my life.”

---

Damn it, Rena! If she hadn’t stopped me before, maybe I could have shot Malak and we wouldn’t be in this situation! And now she’s fighting Malak alone. She doesn’t stand a chance against him.

But why should I care? She’s a Sith Lord! She’s been a Sith Lord the whole time! Oh, she can claim she doesn’t remember all she wants, but how can I know she’s telling the truth? How can I trust her? She deserves everything she gets!

But… it’s Rena. My friend. I saved her life on Taris, she’s saved my life more than once, she’s always been there for me. She found Dustil. Turned him away from the Sith. I love her. She feels right. And I promised to protect her. And then…

No. I promised to protect Rena. This is Revan. Revan, who led us during the Mandalorian Wars, rallied Jedi to our side. Revan, who won the war for the Republic. Revan, who betrayed us all.

I can’t forgive Revan. But I can’t forgive Malak, either. Malak gave the order to attack Telos. And I- I don’t know if Revan had anything to do with it, but Malak definitely did. He deserves to die. And the war has been a lot worse since Revan was killed. Wiped. Whatever. And if that has anything to do with the two of them, Malak is clearly the worse of the two. He deserves to die. And I want to take revenge on Revan myself. For lying to me. For using me.

Was any of it real? Was she ever on the side of the Republic, the whole time? Did she even love me like she said? Or was it all a lie? Hell, for all I know, she wanted us to be here. Maybe she sent a transmission to Saul when I wasn’t looking. Maybe she really did join the Sith on Korriban.

But I saw into her head. That first night on Korriban, whatever she did, I saw into her head. It was strange, the whole experience, but it was like I saw her whole life. She told me - well, sort of told me - that she could never fall if I was there. That she wouldn’t. She couldn’t hurt me. She couldn’t do that to me. And that’s how she told me she loved me. I don’t think she meant to. It just sort of came out. And it showed me that I loved her. Something I didn’t want to think about, I guess. Especially not then - I was so focused on Dustil. And Morgana. She died five years ago and I was never able to get her off my mind. Before Rena. And when she showed me inside her head… it all made sense.

But what if all that was a lie? How can I believe anything she’s ever - Rena, look out! In a fraction of a second, she dodges Malak’s lightsaber. And I feel her in my head, like I did before - “Thanks, I got it.” It doesn’t feel like her, not like it felt before, on Korriban. On Korriban, it felt… I don’t know how to describe it. It was like… coming home after a long time. It was a warm full feeling. A good feeling. But this, now, feels completely different. She feels almost… cold. Dark. Rushed.

Maybe that’s just because she’s fighting, she’s focused. But I saw how she yelled at Bastila. And Malak. She’s not the same at all, is she? She’s not the same Rena. And she never will be again, will she? The woman I… the woman I thought I knew - she’s gone. It’s just Revan now.

---

This was not the way I hoped she would find out. I wanted her to find out in a safe place, surrounded by friends, no more battles to be fought. Perhaps after we’d found the last Star Map or before we went to the Star Forge. Of course I knew she would have to find out eventually. I knew that a fight with Malak was inevitable, and that he would reveal her true identity. I just did not want that to be the first time she heard it. I wanted her to hear it from me. I wanted to be able to answer all of her questions in a calm, safe environment, a place where she could express all of her feelings safely, and understand why the Council did this.

Being captured by the Leviathan was the last thing I expected. Everything was going relatively smoothly. I was concerned about Korriban, but Jolee told me she acted exemplary, a fine model of Jedi teachings. As much as usual, anyway. As I’ve told her before, her methods are unorthodox, and she has a tendency to act emotionally, but she is dedicated to the wellbeing of others. I’ve regularly seen her put the lives of others before her own, as have the others. I never knew Revan personally - when she and Malak left for the Mandalorian Wars, I sided with the Council - but from what I’ve gathered, “selfless” was not a word others would use to describe her. Revan and Rena have many things in common, but I don’t believe they are the same at heart. Rena certainly has her faults and her shortcomings as a Jedi, but I could never see her falling to the Dark Side.

I’m ashamed to admit I wasn’t always so certain. Her feelings for Carth were concerning at first. As I said, I never knew Revan, but she had a reputation for hedonism, and Rena seemed quite the same at first. And not only that - her dueling on Taris concerned me, as well. She seemed very aggressive. But I came to learn I was mistaken in that assessment. She used dueling more to blow off steam than as an outlet for aggression.

Her identity was a mystery to me at first. I knew that the Council put her under my command, but beyond that they seem to have taken quite a few liberties in explaining her knowledge. She has a number of specifics when it comes to being a scout or ecology. And I don’t know where her crusade against Czerka came from. Perhaps these details came from Revan’s memory, and the Council just changed the explanation. Perhaps the identity was someone else, someone who died in the war, or someone from the archive memory. I had only met her briefly before the attack on the Endar Spire, and I doubt it was an encounter she’d remember. She was up late, fixing a droid. If I hadn’t known her voice I wouldn’t have recognized her. Most of what I knew about her came from a datapad, at first.

It took a long time before I stopped calling her Revan. I of course never said it out loud, but there were many times when I thought to myself, “Why is Revan doing that?” or “That is not something I expected from Revan,” or “Revan is getting on my nerves.” It wasn’t until Dantooine, during her month of retraining, that I began to think of her as Rena and not Revan. I never knew Revan, but Rena is my friend. And I don’t have many of those. It’s a complicated friendship, certainly, and we have our fair share of disagreements. But part of friendship is how you deal with those disagreements.

Although, I wonder if that friendship is over now. Not because of how her true identity was revealed, although that certainly doesn’t help. I know she disagrees with me, but the Jedi are more than simply an idea. The Jedi are the only thing holding the Dark Side at bay. Without the Jedi, the galaxy would descend into darkness, beyond hope, possible beyond salvation. Certainly that is more important than any individual. If saving Revan will defeat Malak, I have no regrets. If Carth suffering Admiral Karath’s torture would have aided the Republic, then I would consider that an acceptable loss. I wouldn't enjoy it, of course, but if it was necessary I would find a way to live with the consequences. And I gather Revan would have felt the same. But Rena doesn’t. Perhaps they are more dissimilar than I thought.

Rena reaches out to kick Malak, but before she makes contact, Malak whisks her into a Force whirlwind and runs. A coward, as he has always been.

---

Asshole! I could see it in his eyes, I was making progress, I was making a dent, and he runs!

I could just let him go. This is not going to be the last time we meet. It can’t be. The Star Forge is still out there. And Malak would like nothing more than to get rid of me now. I’m a problem, and the only way to stop me from being a problem is to kill me. I have no intention of dying today, if only because I need to give the Jedi Council hell. I don’t want to think about that now, though, if I think about that now I’m going to have a fucking panic attack. So that’s that. I’m going to wait for Carth and Bastila to unfreeze, and then we get to the Hawk and go. Easy.

But it could never be that simple, could it? Malak would not leave any avenue for me to just go. And even if he did, that wouldn’t be the end of the fight. Maybe there’s a tracker on the Hawk. Maybe he’ll follow us to Manaan. I have no idea how this will end, but it won’t end well.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t know what this feeling is in the pit of my stomach, but I hate it. Oh. Wait. That’s what it is. Nope, I don’t want to think about that now. I need a hug. But Carth is still frozen, assuming he could even trust me again. Nope, not thinking about that. I touch Carth’s hand, at least, looking for a little comfort. And he lets me read him. He hates it. God, that’s a horrible feeling. Nope, don’t want to think about that. Focus on the Sith Lord.

I think I saw Malak go through the door in front of me, rather than left or right. But it’s locked. Why? Why is he making this difficult? Let’s try finding another way into that corridor. Door on the right. There’s another door on my left that should lead to where Malak is, but it’s locked, too. Jesus, dude, really? Okay, keep moving forward. Another door. Left turn. One more door that should lead to Malak, but it is also locked. Why, dude? Why? All this effort to prove you’re not a coward, but you’re acting pretty cowardly. I keep moving forward to the next door. Through that and after another turn there’s one more door that should lead to Malak. If this one is locked, too, I swear to fucking God…

It opens. There he is. Bastard.

---

I can feel Malak’s stasis hold slowly wearing off. It starts small at first. I can move my foot, just a little. Then it fades even more, and I can curl my fingers. Then it fades completely, and I can let my muscles relax for a moment. But only a brief moment. Rena is still fighting Malak. I can sense it. But his is not the only anger I feel. Carth is clearly not having the best day, to put it mildly. And as much as he’s trying to focus solely on Malak and getting to the Ebon Hawk, his thoughts are obviously clouded by Rena. Anger at her, and me, at the Jedi Council, but also confusion. And mistrust. Perhaps even some depression. Clearly there is sadness there. But how deep it goes is unclear.

“Damn it, Rena!” he swears at her, “She’s going to get herself killed, fighting Malak alone.”

“You still care about her, then,” I say. I did not expect his feelings for her to go away so quickly, but I did expect them to be mixed.

“Care, hell, I don’t think we’ll be able to find the last Star Map without her,” he says. No, that’s not quite right. But no matter. We have more important things to worry about. “I saw her go right, but the door closed and I have no idea where she went from there.” I saw that, too. “Can you sense where they are?”

“I can try.” I reach out with the Force. She’s close. And despite Carth’s concern, for lack of a better word, she would seem to be doing very well on her own. She’s certainly thinking about her identity, but she’s doing her best to focus on Malak. This fight isn’t going to end today. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but this fight is not going to end today.

A choice needs to be made. One of us isn’t going to make it out of here. And Carth’s right, the others need Rena to find the last Star Map. Revan found it on Manaan once before, and even if she doesn’t know it, Rena has the memory. A sacrifice needs to be made. My sacrifice. “We need to hurry,” I say, and we run through the center door. I only hope we’re not too late.

---

Malak moves fast. Almost too fast. I let myself react on instinct rather than using any particular form or thinking about my responses. I just let my mind go blank. Muscle memory. Memory. Memory. Nope, don’t want to think about that. Focus on this.

I’m not going to win this fight.

Malak reaches out a hand and suddenly I can’t move. God. No. No this can’t happen. Carth, if anything happens, I just want you to know I love --

“This isn’t over, Malak!” Bastila? They’re unfrozen. I’m not going to die today. But something’s not…

“Your friends do not give up easily, Revan,” Malak says, “You always could inspire loyalty. But even the three of you together cannot stand against my power!”

“For the Jedi!” Bastila shouts, and she throws her lightsaber at him. Malak starts to move towards her. I still can’t move, not yet. Focus, Rena, focus! Undo it! Do something! “I’ll hold Malak off!” she says, “You two get out of here! Find the Star Forge!”

“No, Bastila, he’s too strong!” Carth says, but she doesn’t change. “No!” She reaches out a hand and closes the door behind Malak, sealing them in. And suddenly I can move again, I don’t know how, but I can move. I’ve got to help her, I’ve got to get in there! I head for the lock, there’s got to be something I can do! Come on. Come on! “The door’s sealed, we can’t get past!” Carth says, trying to stop me, “Come on, we have to get to the Ebon Hawk!”

“No, we can’t, I have to help her!” I have to help her!

“Bastila doesn’t stand a chance against Malak, but we can’t help her. Not here.”

“I can’t let another person die!” I shout. I can’t. How many deaths did Revan cause? How many did Revan kill? I can’t do that again, I won’t have her death on my ledger, too!

“We have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge,” he insists, “That’s the key to beating Malak!”

“No, the key to defeating him is right behind this fucking door - are you going to help me or not?”

“No, I’m not!” he says, “Look, Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away, and I won’t let that sacrifice be in vain. If you won’t come with me, then I'll shoot you and carry you out, but I’d rather not do that. Don’t force my hand.”

I can’t leave her. But I can’t leave him. I can’t -- I don’t know! I - wait, what the fuck, put me down! “I’m not waiting for you to figure it out.” This is completely degrading.

Thankfully he puts me down when we get to the ship. “Get the hyperdrive up and running, they will have deactivated it on Saul’s orders. Let me know once it’s ready,” he says, “I don’t want to be here a minute longer than we have to be.” I nod and run for the hyperdrive engine. T3 whirs along behind me.

It’s something to focus on, at least. This wasn’t a single “flick a switch” deactivation, this was by the book. Power couplings disconnected, safety caps on the ends, this is going to take a bit. I pull my communicator out of my pocket and buzz Carth. “This is going to take a couple minutes, don’t do any fancy flying.” He acknowledges me but that’s it. I don’t have time to think about that right now. He gets us out of the hangar and the battle begins. Shield grid’s in good shape. Caps off the couplings, this may sting a bit. I don’t know as much about engines as I do about droids, but the caps seem to be the same, just scaled up. If a droid’s going to be powered down for a while or could get wet - like torrential downpour wet - you’re supposed to disconnect the power couplings and put rubber caps on the end, for safety. So no one gets electrocuted or so the power flow doesn’t get corrupted, because that’s a bear to fix. And if this were a droid, I’d want to start at the bottom coupling and work my way up. The process here should be the same, too - turn the power off or reroute it, pull the caps off, reconnect, reroute it back. So I start on the lowest of the four. Reroute, caps, reconne - Carth, I said no fancy flying! Stop with the loop de loops! Reconnect, reroute. Second. Try not to lose my lunch. As if I’ve eaten much today. Third. God, Mission, hit them before they hit us! Fourth. Come on, come on… Done! “Carth, punch it!”

Hyperspace. Finally. The worst is over.

Or… maybe it’s just getting started.

[carolinedionecd]

"What !? No - No"

Sterling palmed her face in shock.

"Mom? What's she talking about?"

Blair is directly looking at Debbie, with brows arched as a sign of confusion. She knew she'll never get an answer from Debbie so she looked at her dad.

"Dad?"

She opened her arms as a signal to Anders that she's waiting for an answer. Anderson bit his lip, took a big sigh and looked at Debbie, who's still crying while pointing her shotgun directly at Dana.

"Hello !? I'm shot !?"

Everyone looked at the man who's lying on the floor, Dana's shitty boyfriend. Bowser pointed his gun at the guy, cuffed then took him.

"Dad?"

Blair is still waiting for an answer, that she knows she's not gonna get, for now.

"Sterling come here!"

Blair took Sterling's wrist then took her to Bowser's car.

"Blair II - alkdjadniw"

Sterling's blabbering, because she's still in shock. Blair closed the backseat door where they're sitting.

"Listen to me, Sterl. We will always be sisters. Twin sisters. You just came out of our mom's twin sister. See? We're still twins"

Sterling looked at Blair who's waiting for her to speak.

"Y-yeah. Yeah. I could - I could deal with that."

Sterling can't cry. She's overwhelmed with emotions and shock and questions. They both looked out of the window when the police arrived. Dana is being put in jail.

Debbie, Anders, and Bowser are talking when the police left.

"Holy shit! They're gonna know that Bowser is a bounty hunter!"

Blair is now in a panic.

"W-what? Why? How?"

Sterling is still confused, her mind is far away from wherever they are.

"Shit they looked at us! Hide!"

They both ducked.

"Wait, why are we hiding?"

Sterling still full of confusion but she follows what Blair is doing because Blair is the only one that makes sense to her now.

"I - I - why are you hiding?"

Blair asked her back. Suddenly, the driver's seat door opened.

"Girls. I will get you home now. Okay?"

They sighed in relief when they heard Bowser's voice so they sat back on their seats.

"Did you tell them about bounty hunting? Did you tell them that we're on your team?"

Bowser rolled his eyes at Blair's question.

"First, I did not tell them that I am a bounty hunter. Second, they will never know you're on my team."

The twins took a big sigh. Blair is relieved that their cover isn't blown, as if a spy dodged a bullet. Sterling, took a big sigh because now that her mom is actually her aunt, she's seeing the family that she grew up in, in a totally different way.

"Third,"

Bowser broke the silence that made the two look at him.

"Are you okay baby girl?"

He's looking directly at Sterling. Blair looked at Sterling, waiting for her to answer Bowsie.

"Yeah, I guess so."

She looked down on her hand and tried to play with her nails.

"You know what? You don't even look like her. You look more like mom. Our mom. You're her favorite and I'm sure she loves you so much--," Blair's eyebrows crossed again. "--more than she loves me."

Confused with her own sentence, she shrugged it off, like she's telling herself that that's not the point.

"Do you remember in third grade, she told us she's gonna make us a ham sandwich for lunch, and then you got the ham sandwich and I got the peanut butter sandwich !?"

Sterling laughed when she remembered how angry Blair was when they got home and told their mom.

"Do you remember what she said?"

Asked Blair.

"Yeah. You told her, 'where was my ham sandwich !?'"

The two laughed because Sterling made an impression of Blair's third-grade-angry-face.

"Yeah! And she was like, 'Blair, you should learn to give to others especially your sister. I love you both so much but a responsible older sister should always take care of her younger sister.'"

They looked at each other.

"Yeah. That was fair."

Sterling finally agreed.

"She always put you first over me. Always has and always has been. But, works for me. Less attention, less expectation. It's enough for me to know they love me, they love us. But so you know, you have to take care of your kidney because I am not going to donate it. I want to die with my organs complete and intact. "

Bowser, silently listening to them shakes his head in awe.

"I should really stay hydrated."

Hydrated. Shoot. The water bottle. Lock-in meeting. April.

"Bye, Sterl."

Once again, Sterling took a big sigh. Her heart is crumbling like paper. Now her tears are starting to run down but she tried to hide them and wipe them away using her forehand.

"Oh my God!"

She looked at Blair when she heard her scream.

"What?"

Blair looked back at Sterling with tears in her eyes. With a wide freaking smile.

"It's Miles! He wants to talk!"

Blair happily hugged Sterl. The latter is so happy for her sister.

"Holy crap. We're gonna makeup, we'll be together again! Oh, sweet Jesus! I miss his smell!"

Sterling, can't help but miss April.

Her lips.

Her smile.

Her kiss.

Her smell.

Her skin.

"Honey"

Debbie hugged Sterling so tight. She knows Sterling is in shock but she's scared to let Sterling think negative thoughts and doubt herself.

"M-Can I still call you mom?"

Asked Sterling while they're hugging each other.

"Oh, sweetheart. I am your mom. No one else could be your mom. Okay? And you, are Sterling. You are our daughter. You are sisters - twin sisters."

Debbie softly touched their chins while smiling.

"See? I told you we're still sisters and twins."

Blair happily told Sterling. She smiled so wide. She's never been this happy to be a part of this family.

"I can't even imagine my life without you. I mean, who's gonna let me borrow a bra and never return it and doesn't get mad?"

Sterling laughed again. Anders and Debbie hugged the twins. They looked at each other with a genuine smile. Their hands intertwined with each other. Anders kissed Debbie on her forehead with a sigh of relief because the husband and the wife know that this night just made their family ties stronger than ever.

"Okay, can we please face the fact that you guys still didn't answer my questions last night?"

Typical Blair, asking questions and gets paranoid when they're not being answered.

"Okay, honey. First of all, we are having breakfast. I don't think it's appropriate to talk about that this time."

Blair's brows arched once again because of disbelief.

"A-actually, mom--" Sterling slightly smiled then reached for her nape. "--I want to know. I think I deserve that."

Debbie silently put down her tea, took the napkin out of her lap, and damped it on her lips before saying anything. Anders reached for Debbie's hand that is resting on her lap, which made her look at Anders. She took a big sigh.

"Okay, I'm going to make it short and precise."

Sterling and Blair are waiting for the answers while Anders enjoys himself chewing his food, but it is making an annoying sound. The three girls looked at him.

"What? I'm just eating my food."

Debbie rolled her eyes. The twins looked back at Debbie.

"Dana showed in our old house carrying you. Blair was just a month old. She told me she can't take care of you so she wanted me to take care of you as my own. Dana was a mess. I mean, she still is. But I don't know who your father is. That's it. "

Sterling isn't bothered anymore. She's a Wesley and will always be a Wesley.

"Are you going home right after school?"

Asked Blair while she's driving to school. Sterling's mind is still in the wind.

"Y-yeah. I guess. I don't have much to do."

Blair looked at Sterling with worry.

"It's gonna be okay. I know it's hard for you to walk around and see her in every corner but you have to be strong."

Sterling looked at Blair.

"Yeah. I just have to be strong."

Blair looked at her again, not convinced by how Sterling said those words.

"Or you can pretend you hate her again until it comes true."

Sterling looked at her.

"II-can't do that."

Sterling looked in the side-view mirror when she saw that they're approaching the parking lot.

"Just pretend. Okay? Act tough and doesn't care about her."

The last piece of advice from Blair before they step out of the car. "By the way, you have to take an uber later. I'm gonna meet with Miles. It's our make-up date. Or probably make-up-then-make-out-date."

Sterl just nodded to Blair.

"Incoming."

She whispered to Sterling as she saw April approaching them. Sterling's heart is pounding just the thought of hearing April's voice. She's directly looking at April while walking and is ready to stop whenever April greets her but to her dismay, April didn't greet her, or even called her name, or even took a glimpse of her.

Sterling stopped and turned around, chasing April's back by staring at her.

"Hey, Luke!"

Sterling turned her back before she sees the flirting that is about to happen.

"How is she doing that? I mean, that would be so hard for a gay woman to flirt with someone who's not even on her menu."

Whispered Blair to Sterling while walking towards the entrance.

"Shhhh someone might hear you."

Sterling dropped her bag then turned her face down the table. She kept taking deep breaths, assuming it would heal her aching heart.

"I told you to save me a seat beside you"

She heard the voice she's longing to hear, but she kept her cool and decided to only move when the bell rang.

"I'm sorry, Hannah B is already here when I came in. I wouldn't wanna sit beside--"

Ezequiel looked down at sleeping Sterling. April doesn't even need to turn her back to know who that girl is because even her peripheral vision can recognize her instantly. But for the sake of pretending, she looked around and rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

~~

Hey guys I didn't know that tumblr has a limit. So I cant post the whole chapter. If you'd like to continue reading you can go to my wattpad account. Here's the link.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/251725935?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=BlueWhaaale&wp_originator=ayB6mhaua0htPKGYUuBaMBOLTreql97Gtq2XrCSLeglsobjcXhwlj7feIgshPrYg37%2F%2FSPEokHRINccn6JFN1sjV4x%2BZ8bgbF1HtvWBwBfwTOpRpdINWFkLBcro73h7g

[neo-culture-mafia]

II.

I got a million trillion things that I'd rather fuckin' do

He sat across the girl he was forced to go out with and waste money to buy her dinner. She was short of an average girl and nothing clicked between both of them. He dressed in a nice suit, hair done up and she showed up in stained sweatpants and knotty hair. He wasn't one to judge without knowing the full story, but once she straight up told him she didn't care how she looked or...smelled...he let the judgements run rampant in his mind.

The food came and he already wanted to run his own fork through his eye sockets from the way she had spaghetti sauce all over face; the chunk of tomato on top of her brow bone staring him down for what felt like eternity.

"So...uh...what do you like to do?" He asked, trying to be nice and trying to atleast enjoy some of his already ruined night. He could've been doing anything right now, but here he was on a blind date with Chenle's cousin. "I like taking things apart." She licked her lips, shoving a finger in her ear and wiggling it around before wiping it on the wine red tablecloth.

"Like...cars?" He mumbled, kind of awaiting the next thing that came out of her mouth. To soften the blow, he downed his wine quickly.

"No...animals-"

"CHECK, please."

I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic, Then you post it up thinkin' that it's making me sick

He was always told to not date within the family (not the Alabama kind) because it would only relate to tension once it didn't work out...boy does Renjun wish he would've listened in the first place.

His once lover was now his own enemy...and she slept less than 200 feet away from him in the next apartment.

She knew what got to him; thinking that flaunting her new man would piss him off. Spoiler, it didn't. Yet, the never ending lewd sounds coming through his bedroom wall did piss him off.

Word around the complex is that she's only doing this to win him back, but, he's already cut all emotional connection to her and her stank ass cooch.

The time was 3:24 AM. He has literally tried all positions of falling asleep; holding his pillow over his head was his only chance of ending the never-ending moans from his ex's apartment.

Once smacking on the wall began, he knew he couldn't sit here anymore. He was losing his own shut-eye to the nasty ass couple next door.

He got up, not skipping a beat as he went to the kitchen and got a bucket; ice and water quickly filling the inside.

His steps were weighted as he whipped his door open and automatically laying his foot through the other door when it came into sight.

The moans stopped for a moment but began again until the bedroom door was whipped open. He saw red as his arm launched the ice water; bucket and all towards the sweaty bodies.

"Shut the fuck up. Everyone is trying to sleep." He yelled, walking back out the front door and to the comfort of his now silent bedroom.

Say you want me to win, but hope I lose

He's had his fair share of toxic relationships. From try to hook up with his best friend to keying his car and dipping with his wallet.

Yet, nothing compares to when his now-ex tried to kill him. Not even try to conceal it but she just went straight for it.

Didn't even try to hide it and she didn't even have the right information.

He was making dinner for both of them; his heart content on imagining doing this for the rest of his life. "Sweetie, it's almost done!" He yelled out of the kitchen and he watched her stand up from the couch.

He started to plate everything, expecting her to be sitting at the kitchen counter, ready to eat his delicious meal. Yet, when he turned around to put the pan in the kitchen sink, he was met with a gun barrel pointed directly at him.

He just sighed, tossing the pan into the sink; the sizeable dent still there to this day. "I can never just have a cute love story." He untied his apron, his flannel coming down his torso once again.

"You're so stupid." She chuckled, both hands coming up to help her aim better. "And how is that?" He questioned, hands coming up as if he was surrendering to her insane mind.

"Once you're gone. This." She motioned with her gun to the house. "The house, the base, the army. Is mine." Her evil smile was just unsettling, not even a good one.

"...I don't think you understand how this works..." He chuckled. "I'm an elite soldier...not a boss...I'm not a hierarch elite...if I die..." He was actually laughing at this point. "You don't get shit."

Her smile faltered as renjun crossed his arms over his chest. "Then...then...I'll take out Taeyong...and then it will be min-" "There's an underboss for a reason...we actually have two...then it would go to Mark...then Yuta...then Sicheng...then it goes down the ranks." He shook his head.

"Well...where do you fall?" She asked, her gun now at her side. He shrugged. "15th or 16th. Somewhere around there." He said nonchalantly.

"So...have fun with that information." He rolled his eyes, turning on the water for the pan to start soaking.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Her voice was confused and he chuckled. "Cause you're not leaving this apartment alive. And besides...if you threaten me with a gun...make sure the safety is off." He shook his head, leaning on the counter and pulling himself up.

"Huh-" -smack. She laid passed out on the kitchen floor, a sizeable puddle of blood becoming a growing mess.

"Oh no my food is getting cold."

I got a new chick that I gotta thank God for

"Renjun, let's go!" Jeno screamed, hopping out of the blacked out car and sprinting down the street full of people.

Renjun dropped his drink and started running, ripping his disguise shirt off to reveal a bullet proof vest and the usual tactical uniform.

The mission had just gone wrong and now they were running for their lives.

"Chenle. Back up van on third street. Now." Renjun let go of the mic button and looked behind him, trying to find the once-target and his goons that we're just chasing them.

SMACK!

Renjun was now on the ground, rolling with someone else.

It ended with Renjun on top, ready to punch the shit out of what he thought was the target...ending up being the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

A cut was right up above your eyebrow and you were trying to focus on what was on top of you. "Geez...you could atleast take me out to dinner first." You laughed and he looked back, seeing the men catching up.

"uh-i gotta go." He stood up but you were being dragged. Your bracelet was caught on his bullet proof vest.

He picked you up by your arms and linked your hands. "Don't talk. Don't ask questions. Run." Was all he said and he heard Jeno yell at him to hurry up.

You didn't waste any time and just followed, your chain bracelet starting to break from the constant tugging.

Chenle's van pulled up at the end of the street and Jeno was already in the back, his hand out to grab Renjun and you who was forced to tag along.

"Jump." And the next thing you know, you were both in the back of the van, speeding off on the road.

"Wow I have to get in shape." You groaned, chest heaving in and out quickly.

You sat up on the floor of the van to see 2 rows of boys just staring back at you.

"'sup." You head nodded and only some responded.

"I don't think this was in protocol. Is there a chapter for this in the handbook-" "Ji...calm down." The boy you were stuck to said. "I ran into-" "y/n." You responded and you could see a small smile work onto his lips as his head was down and trying to break you guys apart. "I ran into y/n...and we got stuck. I just picked her up and ran." The boy shrugged.

You looked around and saw guns and computers. "You guys cops or something?" You asked and someone from the driver seat spoke up. "Something." He said and you nodded. "Well...that's dope."

"Where can we drop you off?" The boy asked and you shrugged. "Anywhere. I just roam so I'll find my house eventually." You smiled and he nodded slowly.

You watched as you were taken through multiple back roads until the van suddenly stopped and the back doors opened. "Well it was nice meeting you all." You said as you crawled to the back doors, getting out quickly.

Renjun smiled, setting his hand down on the floor and it landing on a piece of paper.

He turned it over

'call me sometime, 010 xxx-xxx-xxxc :))'

He looked up to see your timid smile and Jaemin staring at you. "You're kinda cute. My name is Jae. But you can call me your other half." Jaemin sent his hand out for a handshake.

Renjun wanted to punch Jaemin in the side but was highly satisfied when he watched you look at the awaiting hand and started to close the back doors yourself.

"I ain't fuckin' with you."

[couldnt-think-of-a-better-name]

I heard a couple people saying that they don't expect an onscreen "death" for Norman. But let's look at past events first. We've already had our onscreen fake-out "death" for Ray (coming soon to anime-only watchers) and we've already had our onscreen fake-out "death" for Emma back during Goldy Pond. Norman is the only character who hasn't gone through his onscreen fake-out death. You can argue that shipping him out was supposed to be the equivalent but I don't think it fulfills the requirements.

It took me some time to look up all the references, but I’m finally ready to reply, and I hope everyone else is ready because…

I will be PREDICTING THE NEXT CHAPTER(S) of the MANGA

Ofc there is always a chance that I’m wrong, but I think I have understood the game Posuka and Shirai are playing right now, and I can reliably predict the main contents of the next few chapters. (If I’m wrong, feel free to call me an iditot next week, but if I’m right, I think I will have earned a TOLD YOU SO at least hahaha)That being said…

SPOILER WARNING

SPOILER WARNING

(read the rest of this post at risk of getting spoiled even if you are a manga reader)

So why do I think that I can predict the next chapters?Others have noticed as well that the current manga arc is making references to the most iconic scenes from the escape from Gracefield arc, but… did you notice that the references on the manga chapters were…

EXACTLY SPOT ON WITH THE ANIME?!

Huh? Am I sure? Oh yes… It only stabbed me in the heart this week because my favourite scene of Norman leaving reminded me exactly of what was going on in the chapter 127 due to the argument Emma and Norman had… but people…

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON EVER SINCE THE ANIME STARTED. YOU THINK THAT I’M JOKING BUT BOOOOOOY YOU ARE WRONG!

I’ll make a little summary list for you.

Please bear in mind that some of the references are direct, and some are mirrored, or opposites to contrast.

1st Episode - Emma and Norman think Conny is fine, but are shocked to find out she is dead. Chapter 118 - Emma thinks Norman has died, but she is shocked to find out he is alive.

2nd Episode - Emma and Norman are alone at first, but then are joined by Ray. Chapter 119 - Emma and Norman are alone at first, but then are joined by Ray (and the others).

3rd Episode - By inspecting baby Carol, they manage to figure out how to deal with the trackers, their most immediate threat. Chapter 120 - By looking at demon genes and evolution, they find out how demons can be defeated, their most immediate threat.

4th Episode - Gilda and Don joins. Gilda is relieved (that Emma trusted her).  Chapter 121 - Gilda and Don joins (the conversation). Gilda is relieved (that Emma doesn’t need to carry such a huge burden).

5th Episode - Ray tells Norman to lie (to Emma or else he wont support him). Chapter 122 - Ray tells Emma to be truthful (to Norman, but he will support her no matter what, this second part in the brackets is in chapter 123)

6th Episode - Emma tells Norman among the drying clothing lines her true plan, Norman tells her not to tell Ray. Chapter 123 - Emma tells Ray her true (feelings on the) plan with the drying clothing lines around them, Ray tells her to tell Norman.

7th Episode - Emma and Norman talk to Krone and learn some scary info about Krone (her heart chip implant). Chapter 124 - Emma and Ray talk to Barbara (and Vincent and Cislo) and learn some scary info about  her (eating demon flesh). (Note, Barbara getting angry and threatening Emma is a callback to Don doing the same, but that one was in episode 6) (Also note that I have said before that Barbara is a 2nd reference for Tiger Lily from Peter Pan, and Krone was the first)

8th Episode - Norman goes with Emma on an investigation of the outside, but it unexpectedly turns dangerous. Chapter 125 - Norman goes with Zazie outside to form an allience with the demons he knows are dangerous.

9th Episode - Emma and Ray tells Norman that they have to talk to him about a change to the plan that Norman doesn’t want. (Norman pretends to accept it to later reveal he wouldn’t do it). Chapter 126 - Emma and Ray tells Norman that they have to talk to him about a change to the plan that Norman doesn’t want . (Norman refuses to accept it, but this only made clear in chapter 127).

10th Episode - It is revealed that Norman wont go along with Emma’s wishes, and they have an argument and hold hands. Chapter 126 - It is revealed that Norman wont go along with Emma’s wishes, and they have an argument and hold hands. (huh, I just literally COPYPASTED THIS ONE). (Note: that the hugging and face caressing scene when Norman left and Emma last saw him was already referenced when Norman and Emma first saw each other again in chapter 119, but this time Norman wasn’t interrupted from caressing her face… it’s funny how in the leaving scene it’s made clear that he is trying to caress her since he loves her…)

11th Episode - NOT YET AIRED but it is fairly easy to predict since they are animating roughly 3 chapters in an episode, so it will include : revealing that the whole escape has been planned already and is happening RIGHT NOW, Ray’s fake death, getting away by deceiving the danger, Isabella. Chapter 128 - NOT YET RELEASED My prediction is that despite us all expecting that it will take a couple more chapters to discuss plans to BREAK BACK INTO Gracefield, it will be revealed that is is HAPPENING right now. After all, Norman has already instructed Vincent in chapter 122 to speed up plans for it once he learned Phil was still there. I’m also thinking we will see them getting back inside by deceiving and escaping the notice of demons/adults like they did with Isabella.

12th Episode - NOT YET AIRED but if they are animating roughly 3 chapters in an episode, it will include : flashback to the time we saw Phil with Emma and we saw him tell her to leave him, crossing the cliff to escape to what turned out be the demon world, we see Isabella for the last time.

Chapter 129 - NOT YET RELEASED My prediction is that we will see Emma meet Phil again, and her promise to him coming to full circle just as we see her make it in the anime. I think we will also most likely see Isabella just as the chapter ends.

Predictions for chapters 129+ :

There are two iconic scenes that I think will only be referenced later

One of them is crossing into the demon world, which I think will be reversed into crossing to the human world. James Ratri has said that all the premium farms, including Gracefield has an entrance to the human world. So if they are already at Gracefield, I think they would cross over. We know however that Norman doesn’t want to go, so Emma and Ray may sneak away from the group. They already have the golden water that they need, and my prediction is that they are under the sea, and they will use the golden water to make an actual SHIP that they can board FLOAT to the sea surface. Just look at some of Posuka’s “random art” I will include a bit below.

The other is Ray’s fake “on screen” death that @vobomon has mentioned was also repeated with Emma, but not with Norman yet. When Norman was shipped, there was no gore, and there were some pretty big clues he was going to be ok. With both Ray and Emma it was much more explicit, and there were no clues given, but it was quickly revealed afterwards that they were ok. I agree that the same will happen to Norman, and I am expecting him to have a very graphic “death” on screen as well, perhaps something like being cut in half. Based on a theory @vobomon has, I believe that it will be a fake death, but unfortunately at this point that theory is unpublished so I can’t explain the details.

I also think both Phil and Musica will die in the future because if my theories are right, they are both based on people who have died horrible deaths… and not just one, but 2 each. Please see my other theories for details. I will include a reblog with links.

So what do you think? Do you think it’s ALL JUST COINCIDENCE, and I’m just making wild theories again? Or could I be right?

Hmm, well, we will find out in less than a week’s time when chapter 128 drops. Please do come back and give me some kudos if I turn out to be right. ;D

I need sleep so I don’t have time to screencrap ALL of these references, so how about anyone who feels like it reblogs this post with their favourite ones? Feel free to also use anime gifs.

Btw guys, if I it turns out that I’m right, then I also want to say this now: THIS IS REVENGE KAIU SHIRAI FOR MAKING ME CRY DURING ANIME EPISODE 10 WHEN I REALISED THAT THE NOREMMA ARGUMENT WAS A PERFECTLY TIMED REFERENCE IN CHAPTER 127, GODDAMN YOU, I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

Here is a GIF of an iconic Peter Pan scene, after that, you will see Posuka sensei’s “random” art.

DOESN’T THAT RANDOM GIRL HAVE RED HAIR AND WEAR WHITE CLOTHES AND THERE IS EVEN A JAR AND LANTERN AND BOOKS LIKE IN TPN?! SOOOO RANDOM, RIGHT?! Also, can I make the first sting RAY joke…? I’m not even sorry.

[prinanalogicality]

For the dialogue prompts could you write dom Logic saying 10 to a sub Morality? (I don't know why my mind went to this but i think you could write it a lot better than me)

Title: Possession

Boy howdy, anon. I got you! But, I bet you could also write really well if you tried! I’m flattered that you believe I write well, but I want you to feel confident in your abilities as well. :)

From the dialogue prompts: #10 - “Who do you belong to?”

Warning, nsfw kiddies!

AO3 link here.

Pairing: Logicality smut!

“Who do you belong to?”

Logan’s voice is deep, rough as he speaks down to Morality, left hand gripping the male’s jaw, forcing him to look up at Logan from his kneeling position on the ground. Morality is clad in nothing but one of Logan’s button-up shirts, unbuttoned, the fabric framing his hard and leaking length between his thighs trembling to keep himself kneeling upright. Logan, in turn, is fully clothed, staring down at the male beneath him with a fire in his eyes that Morality adores.

“I belong to you, Sir.” Morality responds in his usual peppy tone, enjoying how Logan’s expression darkens.

“Then do tell why you believe it is your place to flirt with not only Roman but also Anxiety. You sat on Roman’s lap, pet Anxiety’s hair - did you think I would not find out?” Logan furrows his brows, pulling his hand back in favor of removing his tie and shirt.

“Well, how could I not? Anxiety looked especially cute today, Roman was as handsome as ever.” Morality murmurs, suppressing a giggle. He knows how possessive Logan is, that is why he loves pushing his buttons. Morality would never, ever legitimately be unfaithful to Logan, but he sure can play with him.

“You do not act on those desires because you belong to me and me solely, Morality. Is that understood?”

“I guess so.”

Logan growls, tugging Morality’s hair upwards so the male will stand up beside him. “Chest and knees on the bed, hands behind your back.” He says simply, and this time Morality cannot suppress his excited giggle as he crawls onto the bed on his hands and knees before lowering his chest to the soft duvet, hands settling against the small of his back. “How many do you think you deserve?”

Morality hums, wiggling his hips slightly, grinning when Logan’s hands roughly grasp the globes of his cheeks in order to still him, nails slightly digging into the smooth flesh. “Ten?”

“You should know the answer to this one by now, Morality. ‘However many you see fit, Sir.’ Say it.”

“However many you see fit, Sir.”

“Then I see twenty. Count it.”

Logan’s swats to his bum and thighs are enough to sting, but are far from forceful. Morality does enjoy playing rough from time to time - as Logan does as well. But, Morality does not have a high pain tolerance - at least, not as much of a pain tolerance as Logan would more than likely prefer for him to have. Morality had suggested they delve into dominant and submissive play, and when Logan found out sex was more than simple missionary vanilla, he did research of his own and suggested things like spanking.

Morality enjoys being spanked, he does. Logan dances on the fine line of what Morality can take, and Morality is forever grateful that Logan is not only so good at not crossing the line, but the one time he had he immediately backed off and took care of Morality, made him feel safe, soothed the pain in his bum.

Swat.

“T-twenty, thank you Sir.” Morality breathes out, relieved when the spanking is over. He feels Logan pressing gentle kisses to the sore skin of his bum and he giggles softly, visualizing the smile on his boyfriend’s face at the sound of his delight.

“You did well, do you believe you deserve a reward, baby?” Logan asks, hands deftly roving over Morality’s rear end and thighs, soothing the ache.

Morality ponders his answer before replying, deciding to begin shaping up. “Only if you see fit, Sir.”

Logan sighs in relief. “What a good boy, you’ve learned your lesson.” Morality can hear the sound of a lube bottle being opened and perks up, pushing his hips back eagerly - to which Logan chuckles deeply, shaking his head. “Ah ah, be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”

Morality reluctantly obeys, shuddering as the cold lube is dribbled over his waiting entrance. He knows Logan won’t be prepping him this time, not with how Morality had misbehaved and not with how Morality was very clearly anticipating this moment, if the way he has already stretched out wasn’t obvious. He feels Logan’s precum-slick dick sliding between his cheeks, slightly dipping into his eager hole before moving on, sliding over the top of his crack and back down to his perineum, repeating the process.

“Beg.”

“Please, Sir. I’ve been - naughty, but I promise, I’ve learned my lesson. May I have my reward, please?”

He hears contemplative humming before he feels Logan’s thick appendage pressing into him, stretching him in that delicious manner that Morality downright lives for. Logan wastes no time in setting a fast pace, the sound of their skin slapping together and Morality’s pleased mewls each time Logan thrusts back inside of him filling the otherwise quiet room. Logan’s hands find Morality’s on the small of his back, holding them tenderly while he takes his boyfriend, eyes admiring his shirt on his lover’s body.

“Do you believe you deserve to cum?”

“I- I want to, but I- if you do not see fit, S-Sir, I- I understand, I will act better next time, I pinky swear.” Logan sees Morality jutting out his pinkies the best he can while Logan is holding his hands, and the action is so endearing that Logan simply cannot not let Morality reach ecstasy.

“You may cum for me, my love.” Logan gently pushes Morality’s hands down until the palms are against the bedsheets. He presses his chest against Morality’s back, the fingers of his free hand lacing with Morality’s as his other closes around Morality’s flushed, wet cock, tenderly squeezing until he feels it throbbing against his fingertips.

Morality releases with a high-pitched keen, his body trembling as Logan slows his pace, gently guiding Morality through his orgasm. Morality’s mind generally shuts down while he cums and his body becomes so very sensitive, and Logan has learned just what pace to keep up and how to stroke him during his orgasms so that every release is absolute nirvana.

“You’re so good, think you can hold out until I finish?” Logan asks him once Morality’s mind begins clearing up enough for him to be able to answer coherently, in which Morality nods immediately.

“Please, Sir. I need it.”

That is all Logan needs to build back up to his fast pace, listening to Morality’s post-orgasm sensitive squeaks and squeals. The sounds from Morality and the feeling of Morality’s walls clenching around him are enough to bring Logan to the edge as well, in which he pulls out in favor of cumming over Morality’s reddened cheeks, groaning at the delectable sight.

Once he is finished, he tunes in to Morality’s giggles. He leans back enough so Morality can roll over to lie on his back, and Logan’s expression softens at the sight of Morality grinning widely at him, looking so adorable and innocent despite the fact that he is very not innocent. But, he is adorable.

“That was really great, huh?” He sits up and reaches up, gently cupping Logan’s jaw to pull him into a sweet, slow kiss. “I love you, I would never actually do bad things, you know?”

Logan nods, pressing a kiss to Morality’s forehead. “Of course I am aware of that, I love you in return. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Logan moves to stand beside the bed, delving into the nightstand to pull out the package of baby wipes.

“Hey, Lo. Why was the broom late?”

Logan pauses to glance back at Morality, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because it over-swept!”

Logan watches as Morality falls back against the pillows in a fit of giggles and rolls his eyes. Logan isn’t sure how he does it, but somehow Morality always manages to make his chest feel warm and bring a smile to his lips. How could he not love him?