#I almost forgot about the egg tbh

[galaxseacreature]

made some "avocado chips" tonight and they're pretty good actually. but they're also basically parmesan crisps. so ofc they are

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part six

author's note: okay......so i can explain. i know it's been like four months, but i swear it wasn't on purpose and tbh i lost track of time. so here's it is after months of waiting. i promise i didn't forget about it, i just had other projects i was working on (like the 30k words i wrote for two separate fics) that really took up most of my inspiration. there is a time jump in this, but not a huge one. but enough excuses! here's to part six (which is 9.4k words, i figured y'all deserved it)!

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, fear of falling in love, moving into angst city baby

day forty-five

you woke up in an unfamiliar place. disoriented, you looked around, noting that it was still dark outside. there was a weight around your waist that was familiar in the sense that you'd felt that sensation before, but unfamiliar in that it smelled like someone new. your heart started racing at the feeling, until you recognized it for what it was: an arm.

your heart rate settled for a moment until you blinked and realized that while you were at home, you were in a different room and considering there was no crib, you could only make one leap in logic:

it was mat's room.

jason's words came back to haunt you almost immediately.

he'll get bored of you eventually. people always do.

your hands felt clammy as you slowly slid out of mat's hold. your knees were shaking. the air was too thick to breathe evenly, but you knew if you started hyperventilating in mat's room, he might wake up and freak out with you.

so you took some shaky breaths and then booked it back to your room.

you stared up at the ceiling for two hours until ella woke up. immediately, you got up, thankful for a distraction from the conflict brewing inside your chest.

when you opened your bedroom door, mat was standing across the hall in his own doorway. his hair was disheveled and his white tee shirt was askew, but it was clear he had the same thought as you.

the two of you stared at each other until one of ella's cries snapped you both back to reality.

"i'll get her," you said quickly before darting into ella's room and ignoring the feeling of his eyes on you. they burned into your back like someone was steaming the clothes hanging off your body.

in the crib, ella was kicking her legs and flapping her arms as much as her sleep sack would allow. and for a moment, you forgot the momentary discomfort at the sight of her gummy smile.

"good morning, sweet girl," you crooned. you reached into the crib and unzipped her sleep sack before picking her up and into your arms. she immediately snuggled into your chest, tucking her head under your chin.

you changed her diaper before heading out to the kitchen where mat was cooking eggs.

you wouldn't look him in the eye, just focused on getting ella into the high chair. mat walked past you, putting her plate of fruit on her high chair tray. it was the closest you'd been since that morning in his bed. and while it was technically innocent, it didn't feel innocent.

as much fun as he was, you'd forgotten that mat was still technically your boss, a friend too, but your boss nonetheless. and sleeping in his bed, regardless of how much you believed you needed it, was a mistake.

you couldn't lose this job, lose ella, lose sydney, but you didn't think you could handle losing mat. not entirely.

so you'd settle for losing the smaller moments of closeness. you'd stay professional with him if only for the sake of keeping your heart and income safe.

god, you hated thinking of him just as an income, but jason's words rang in your head like a small town church bell at noon. was he just waiting to sleep with you? was he just taking pity on you?

it was too early to get a headache.

you sat in a chair next to ella and checked your phone for any messages when a plate was placed in front of you with eggs made in the way you loved and a piece of toast.

"it was all i could manage without giving you food poisoning," mat said sheepishly.

you said a quiet thanks and turned your attention back to your phone, missing the way mat's face contorted into a frown.

"what do you have planned for today?" he asked, taking the seat across from you.

you shrugged, not feeling too keen on going out in public after what happened the night before. you weren't stupid, logically you knew new york was a large city and the odds of running into natalie or jason were slim, but you saw them last night and you weren't too eager to chance repeating the same thing.

"i think we'll just take it easy, stay home and hang out," you said. the words what about you were sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut.

mat hummed as he took a bite of his toast. "i'm gonna go work out with tito before practice, and then i think we have some interviews or media to do," he said.

you nodded but said nothing. when ella finished her breakfast, which looked like her tossing eggs onto the floor, you scooped the plate up and hurried back into the kitchen, excited to do something more than just sitting in a room with mat. you started washing the plate, not even thinking about the dishwasher three feet away.

"i can get that," he said, reaching around you and grabbing the plate straight out of your hands. he placed in in the dishwasher before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the eggs on the floor as he cooed at his daughter.

your heart lurched in your chest at the sight, at the view of him being so gentle and doting. you cleared your throat and dusted your clean hands on your pants to keep them from doing something stupid like pulling mat to you and asking him to hold you like he did last night.

"i hate to rush off," mat started as he placed the broom back in its corner and washed his hands. "but i told tito i'd actually be on time today." he got ella out of her high chair and kissed her chubby cheeks. "dada loves you ella bean," he said before approaching you.

you did your best to prepare for eye contact. but the bottom line was as soon as you met his eyes, you couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

he was the prettiest man you'd ever seen, with an even bigger heart.

you snapped out of it when ella reached for you, focusing on how her downy brown hair was growing longer, instead of how she was a complete carbon copy of her father.

for a second, you almost felt bad for her birth mother, nine months of being pregnant, all that labor, only for ella to look just like mat.

but then you remembered that same woman dropped her daughter off with him with just a note, and any lingering feelings of empathy and pity immediately vanished.

you took ella and scampered off to her room, ready to get out of mat's presence.

the two of you were playing with some of her toys when you heard mat call out a goodbye before the door shut behind him.

it wasn't until the lock clicked that you could finally breathe.

day fifty-five

"are you coming to the game tonight?" sydney asked over the phone.

you had your cellphone tucked between your shoulder and your ear as you prepped ella's lunch for the day. the baby in question was babbling to herself when she wasn't stuffing her face with the cheerios you gave her until you could give her lunch.

"uh..." you hesitated, trying to play it off like you were too focused on mashing up bananas.

"oh come on," sydney said. "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."

"you saw me last week."

"that was seven days ago. you didn't even come to the game earlier this week. what was that about?"

the words were on the tip of your tongue, the truth dangled in front of you like low hanging fruit, but you couldn't get yourself to say it. not in his home, not when he would be getting home shortly, not in front of ella, even though she would never be able to repeat it.

sydney said your name. "are you there?"

you sighed through the receiver. "i'll be there."

"great! i'll pick you up!" she said before hanging up.

you and ella ate in silence until mat came through the front door. ella immediately squealed and threw her bananas in the air, some of which landed in her hair, other pieces ended up on the floor.

"ella bean!" mat smiled as he dropped his things on the ground.

he walked over and you shot up out of your seat to walk into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing paper towels to clean up her mess.

"how was she?" mat asked, taking over your job in supervising his daughter eating her lunch.

you shrugged even though he couldn't see you. "she's been fine. it's been a normal day."

"are you coming to the game tonight?" he asked. truthfully, he'd asked you earlier that morning, or maybe the word begged was a better word to use. you could tell he was disappointed that you hadn't gone to his game earlier that week, but he was never going to pressure you.

"yeah, we're riding with sydney."

"do you have anything to wear?" he asked.

your back was turned, so you didn't see the hopeful gleam in his eye. so when you shrugged and said "sydney said she would get me a shirt," you didn't see the way his shoulders sagged and how the corners of his mouth turned down.

when you turned back around, he was back to looking happy.

you started cleaning up the banana off the floor while mat handed ella her water cup.

"she takes a nap right after lunch, right?"

you looked up at him to find him already staring at you. his hazel eyes felt like they could see right through you, like they could tell you were pulling away and wanted to know why.

you nodded, rendered speechless by his gaze.

"i'll put her down, i've missed her." he booped her nose which made her immediately shriek and squeal. "i don't have to be at the arena for another two hours, so you're free to do whatever."

you expected as much, after his first long roadie, mat wanted to do everything concerning ella. considering he got back earlier that week before having a home game two days later, he hadn't been as present as he would like.

and the result was always a clingy mat.

"sounds good," you said.

maybe you'd text sydney to hang out at a coffee shop for the time being. or maybe you'd lock yourself in your room under the guise of napping while you stared at the ceiling and wondered how you got into this situation.

as ella finished up, the idea hit you immediately.

erin, the woman who you nannied for first.

when mat put ella down, you snuck out the front door and across the hall, praying she would be home. you knocked and waited, fully expecting to turn around and go back to mat's apartment.

you stood outside for all of five minutes before turning back around and heading back into mat's apartment.

"everything okay?" mat asked when you walked back inside the apartment. he was just coming from putting ella down if having one of the baby monitors in his hand was any indication.

"yeah, i'm fine," you said. "i'm just gonna go lay down for a little while."

"oh," he replied. "thought we could watch one of those reality shows you like. felt like i haven't seen you in awhile."

you gave him a small smile. "rain check? i'm really tired."

mat smiled back, though it wasn't as confident as it usually was. if you looked hard enough, you could see the edges of it shake, like he was doing his best to keep up appearances.

but you headed back to your room before you could do something stupid like apologize for the emotional distance and ask for forgiveness.

you got got into bed and stared at the ceiling, only taking your gaze off of it to turn your baby monitor on. you weren't sure how long you were in that borderline comatose state, just repeating jason's cutting words in your head, when ella woke up.

you got up when she cried, fully expecting mat to be gone by then, considering it had been an hour and a half. but you walked into ella's room to see him pulling her out of her crib in his game day suit.

and it should've been illegal to see him snuggle and kiss her cheeks. to witness him cooing back at her as he changed her diaper. you leaned against the door frame, unable to keep your heart from soaring at the sight. just to think, a month and a half ago, he was terrified, now he was changing a diaper like he'd done it his entire life.

he didn't notice you until he turned around and nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the sight of you standing there. "jesus fucking christ," he said. "you scared me."

you couldn't help yourself. "you don't say," you quipped with a grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

mat closed the distance between the two of you and passed off ella. "i hate to run, but--"

"you don't have to explain yourself to me," you said. "we'll see you later."

he nodded and booked it out of the room, but not before pressing a kiss to the side of ella's head.

you heard the door lock behind you a beat later.

you and ella spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around before it was time to start getting ready for the game. you had her dressed in her barzal jersey and a coat while you slapped on a pair of jeans and a tank top, waiting for sydney to bring you the shirt you'd end up wearing.

it was a quarter to six when sydney knocked on the door. she had her daughters with her. winnie immediately went to see ella, who was sitting in her playpen with one of her toys in her mouth.

"you look cute," sydney commented before tossing the shirt at you. without even thinking about it, you tugged the shirt over your head and threw on the jacket you had laid out on the couch.

"so do you," you replied while slinging the diaper bag over your shoulder. you quickly scooped ella up and looked at sydney. "you ready?"

she nodded as the two of you got three kids out to her suv. you had ella in one arm, her car seat in the other, with her diaper bag weighing heavily on your shoulder.

fifteen minutes had passed by the time you got all the girls in the car and strapped in yourselves. you thought everything was normal until sydney turned the music on a little louder and looked at you from the corner of her eye.

"what's going on with you and m-a-t," she spelled out his name probably as a precaution to prevent winnie from picking up any details.

you froze, but tried to play it off. "what do you mean?"

sydney rolled her eyes. "don't play dumb. you asked me for a shirt to wear tonight instead of raiding his closet like you usually do. you didn't go to the game earlier this week under some flimsy excuse."

you sighed, knowing you had been caught.

but sydney wasn't done.

"not to mention, m-a-t asked me what happened at the bar because you'd been distant ever since and hadn't talked to him about it." sydney sighed. "i'm not mad," she said. "i just want to know what's going on with you, i thought things were going well. you two seemed..."

you looked over at the blonde. "seemed like what?"

she shrugged. "just thought you two were a good fit is all."

you groaned. "syd--"

"but we don't have to talk about it, i just think you need to have a conversation with him sooner rather than later."

whatever you had to say was cut off by winnie screaming out the lyrics of baby shark.

the five of you arrived with an hour left until the puck drop. thankfully, the wags rented a suite which meant you didn't have to contend with a huge crowd and ella didn't have to feel confined to just one seat the entire night.

grace along with the other wags greeted you and ella with grace offering to take ella from you in exchange for a margarita, an offer you couldn't turn down.

when the boys came out for warmups, you went with sydney and her daughters and ella down to the ice. ella fought the headphones on her head, she kept reaching for them but you had to pull her little hands away so she wouldn't hurt her ears.

it took a few seconds for matt martin to spot the five of you before he was skating over and waving at his daughters and wife. he smiled at you and ella, tapping the glass once before continuing his warm ups. it was seconds later when your mat showed up with a big smile on his face. ella shrieked, and though the sound was lost in the ruckus of the arena, mat looked happier.

your eyes met and the noise died down, even if it was for a brief moment.

you okay? he mouthed.

you nodded and gave him your most convincing smile. it seemed to do the trick because he was beaming back at you as he skated away backwards, eyes locked on yours.

you turned away and caught sydney staring with a smirk. and while she didn't say anything, you could almost hear her train of thought.

when the game finally started, you were all back in the suite. ella was clinging to you, refusing even the idea of being held by someone else. you couldn't blame her, it was getting close to her bedtime and she was always clingy around that time.

you did your best to pay attention to the puck, to the other players on the ice, but your eyes kept finding 13 whether he was on the bench or the ice. he kept glancing around the ice, probably following the puck like you should be, and occasionally talking to his teammates.

you turned when someone nudged you. grace was standing there with a cup of ice water in her hands. "do you wanna sit?" she asked. "i know your arm is getting tired." you smiled and nodded thankfully, following her over to a pair of seats.

she let you sit in silence for just a moment before she started talking. "are you okay? you seem lost in thought tonight."

part of you wanted to be annoyed with the constant interrogation. no one had ever asked you this many times if you were alright. but that thought alone had your heart lurching.

no one had ever checked on you this many times like sydney, grace, and mat had. it was an unusual feeling, and one that made your heart beat faster in your chest while also making your stomach turn.

"i've just got a lot on my mind," you said, hoping the answer would suffice.

grace nodded, like she could recognize when it wasn't worth the effort to keep pestering. "if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. i know running into an ex is never fun."

you kept a straight face even though grace hit the nail on the head.

the game continued on with the islanders winning 6-2. but you had been so out of it, if anyone asked, you wouldn't be able to tell them who the isles played against.

you made your way down to the locker rooms with ella sleeping against your shoulder and the diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. you would've put her in the car seat, but after an earlier attempt ended in her crying and screaming for ten minutes before she fell back asleep, you decided to just hold her. grace had the car seat in one hand so you wouldn't have to carry it while holding winnie's hand with her other one so sydney could carry her diaper bag and her youngest.

the three of you waited with the other wags, making small talk amongst yourselves like you had all night.

anders came out first and kissed his wife before greeting everyone else. matt came out shortly after with casey. his attention was immediately drawn to winnie who ran into his legs with zero hesitation.

you waited for ten minutes before your mat came out with his game day suit on and wet hair. it felt as familiar as your mother's homemade cooking.

he smiled when he saw you, anything anthony was telling him didn't matter anymore.

"what'd ya think?" he asked.

"you played a good game."

his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips then to the baby on your shoulder. his brows creased in confusion. "she didn't sleep in the car seat?"

"we tried, but she screamed and wouldn't settle unless i was holding her."

he nodded before adjusting the bag in his hand so he had a free one to scoop the car seat out of grace's grip. he nodded towards the diaper bag on your shoulder. "want me to carry that?"

"you saying i'm not strong enough to carry it by myself?" honestly, you were supposed to be keeping things professional between the two of you, but you just couldn't help but quip back at him. not when he made it so much fun.

mat rolled his eyes and took the bag off your shoulder and slung it over his own. "let's go home."

day sixty-eight

with christmas approaching, you were spending all of ella's nap times, packing your bags and wrapping presents. thankfully, you had the foresight to ship your family's christmas presents to your parents' house.

it was just a matter of wrapping mat and ella's presents.

you might've gone overboard with ella's presents, spending too much money on books and a stuffed animal you thought was cute. mat's present was different.

it was always gonna be different.

originally, you weren't even sure if you were going to get him a present considering you were trying to keep things professional. but sydney let it slip that his present to you was really thoughtful, so you immediately left the apartment as soon as mat got home.

in the end, the tie felt a little impersonal, but you added a note, heartfelt enough to not be insulting, but maintaining an air of professionalism. you kept the presents in your room, knowing mat wouldn't try to guess what you got him if it was out of sight.

mat had roped you into decorating for christmas, a tradition he hadn't honored since moving out to new york, but with it being ella's first christmas, he was going all out.

with ella's first christmas approaching, mat's family made plans to fly in two days before to attend the game. you made plans to leave the city so his family didn't have to get a hotel room and you could miss the christmas eve traffic.

your bags were packed by the door while mat got ella ready.

"who's driving you to the airport?" he asked at the dinner table the other night.

"no one," you said after you'd swallowed your food. "i'm taking an uber."

mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "no you're not. i'll drive you. what time do you have to be at the airport?"

"mat, it's not that serious."

"it is to me. so again, what time do you need to leave?"

mat came walking down the hallway with ella all bundled up against the cold weather that was raging just outside the window. snow flurries were falling down at a rapid rate, something that might've concerned you had mat, a canadian, not been the one to drive you.

he handed ella off to you before scooping your bags up in one hand and opening the front door with the other.

"you don't have to carry my bags, mat."

"well, you're carrying my child, so why would i make you carry bags on top of that?"

"you could've carried ella!"

"not when i was planning on carrying your bags! now let's go, you don't want to miss your flight, now do you?"

the three of you headed out to his car and loaded it up. mat placed your bags in the trunk while you strapped ella in before you both hopped in the front and headed towards the airport.

"you excited to see your family again?"

you nodded. "it'll be good to see everyone again."

"you don't have any relatives you'd rather avoid?"

you couldn't help it, a laugh burst out of your mouth without your permission. "actually not this time around but--"

an alert on your phone cut you off.

flight BA4739 has been cancelled due to a mechanical issue.

"you've gotta be shitting me," you said.

mat glanced at you before quickly turning his eyes back to the road. his attention, though, was still on you. "what happened?"

"my flight's cancelled."

mat eased into the right lane and began the drive to the apartment. "are there any flights you can catch?"

you were a step ahead of him, checking every possible flight out of jfk and shaking your head when you came up empty handed. "it doesn't look like it." you sighed and pressed your head against the head rest. "god, i'm sorry mat. i know your family is coming in tomorrow and this puts a dent in things."

he scoffed. "it's fine, just means they'll have to get a hotel, but i can take care of that easy."

your eyes shot open. "mat, don't put them in a hotel, i can find someone to stay with."

"i'm not kicking you out of our home. that's ridiculous."

you clenched your jaw to keep it from dropping at his statement. mat said it so plainly, it was almost like it wasn't a big deal.

"mat--"

"listen, you're not going to a hotel, that's final. when we get home, we'll check for the next flight out and i'll buy the tickets."

"you don't have to--"

"consider it my christmas present to you," he said like there weren't presents under the tree with your name carefully written on them.

you rolled your eyes, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

when the three of you got back to the apartment, you grabbed ella while mat took the bags. the second you three were settled, you were pulling out your laptop and double checking for flights. when you couldn't find anything, you sighed and resigned yourself to a white christmas in new york.

day sixty-nine

you and ella were dancing to christmas music in the living room when the barzals came in through the door.

"let me see my grandbaby!" nadia said, dropping her purse on the couch.

you handed ella over immediately, though you hung around for a second to see if she would cry. but ella just smiled and stuck a fist in her mouth.

liana came through next, hugging you briefly before turning her attention to her niece.

a man who you'd never met but knew to be mat's father walked in carrying bags of his own with mat following behind him. you fully expected to be bypassed in favor of ella, and you wouldn't even blame him. but he stopped in front of you and placed the bags on the ground at his feet. with a heavy hand he'd placed on your shoulder, mike barzal began to speak.

"thank you," he said. "thank you for taking care of my son and my grandchild. when we heard the news, my wife and i were trying to figure out what to do, but then mat called a few days later and sang your praises." he squeezed your shoulder gently. "i can't tell you how much it means to us knowing that you're here taking care of ella and helping mat."

you managed a smile, not really having the words to communicate how much having mat and ella has changed your life.

mike squeezed your shoulder one more time before walking over to where his wife and daughter stood.

mat approached you next, the bags he carried in were resting by the door.

"i can sleep on the couch, or go out and buy an air mattress and sleep in ella's room," you said. "just say the word."

mat rolled his eyes and elbowed you lightly. "quit it. this is your home too, i'm not kicking you out."

"i hope i didn't hear you offering to vacate your room," nadia turned around and faced you, quirking an eyebrow. "we're not going to make you leave."

"you wouldn't be making me do anything, i'm offering--"

"and we're denying the offer," she said matter of factly. "there's a nice hotel not too far from here."

"i don't want to split up your family for christmas!"

nadia approached and with the arm not holding ella, she reached out and squeezed your hand. "sweetheart, you've been taking care of my babies, you're family to me now."

you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"i'm sorry you don't get to spend christmas with your family," she started. "but i'm glad i get to watch you open the presents we got you in real time."

your jaw dropped. "mrs. barzal you didn't have to--"

she shook her head. "you deserve to be appreciated, sweetheart." then she directed her attention to ella. "isn't that right, baby?"

liana turned her attention to you. "are you going to the game tonight?"

you shook your head. "i'm going to grace's to help with last minute decorations for the team christmas party."

"are you taking ella?"

you shrugged. "i figured i'd leave that up to you. i can take her if you'd rather focus on the game and not a cranky baby.

nadia pressed kisses to ella's cheeks, enough that the little girl shrieked with laughter. "let's play it by ear, if she's cranky before the game, she can go with you, if that's alright."

you smiled and nodded.

as the day went on, ella stayed in pretty high spirits, even when mat left to head to the arena. she took a lengthy nap which gave nadia enough confidence to take her to the game. you ubered to grace's house, a secret that was meant to stay between you and liana, who saw you ordering the ride.

you arrived at grace's house five minutes before the puck dropped. in true hockey wife fashion, she had the game pulled up in the living room so you could watch while you worked. sydney's daughters were camped out in front of an ipad, watching bluey while their mom came in and out of the room with bags of groceries. grace's daughters, you were told, were already in bed.

"where's the baby?" winnie asked when she saw you.

you couldn't help yourself and laughed. "she's at the game."

"why aren't you with her?"

you smiled and squatted down to look her in the eye. "her grandparents are watching her, so i came over here to help."

winnie furrowed her brows, scrutinizing you. "but you're her mom, you're supposed to be with her. my mom is always with me."

"i'm not ella's mom, winnie. i'm her babysitter. like when your parents go out sometimes and they have a babysitter watch you? that's my job."

"then where's her mom?"

you opened and closed your mouth a few times before you realized the words just failed you. there was no way to say the truth other than plainly.

so you shrugged and said "i don't know."

sydney and grace rounded the corner and smiled when they saw you, greeting you with hugs.

"so it shouldn't take too long," grace started. "we're just adding a few decorations, sydney's gonna help me in the kitchen with prepping some of the food for christmas." her attention turned to you. "do you think you can handle the decorations around the house? it should just be the downstairs and the railings up to the second floor. nothing too extravagant."

you looked at the totes of decorations numbering in three total on the floor. "i can do that," you said.

grace smiled wide. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

you smiled back and immediately got to work. it wouldn't take you long, the house was already pretty decorated, but grace had gone about and beyond and insisted on getting stockings for every player's family still in town, which was more than half the team. there was a table in the front entrance where you put the players' stockings and laid them out in neat rows.

on the stockings, there was the last name of the player with names below it being members of their family. marty's had sydney's, winnie's, and alice's name below his own. sorokin's just had his own name. but you hesitated when you pulled mat's out of the tote.

barzal was in big letters with ella's name underneath.

and then your own.

you blinked over and over, thinking maybe you were hallucinating.

"i hope i didn't overstep!" grace's voice startled you out of your stupor. "when mat told me you were staying in town for the holiday, i went ahead and added your name. do you know if his parents and sister are joining us?"

you shook your head. the plan was you'd be with the barzals christmas eve and christmas morning, but christmas night, when you went to the lee's house, nadia, mike, and liana would stay back. as far as you heard, anders had extended the invitation, but they declined it, not wanting to impose.

grace nodded. "okay, sounds good then!" she made a move to walk away but stopped when she saw the look on your face. you weren't quite sure what she was seeing from her perspective, but your mind was racing and your feet felt like lead. "are you okay? you seem in your head."

you shrugged. "just trying to figure things out."

"is everything okay with mat? you two seemed fine not too long ago."

and you were. but you hadn't told sydney or grace about how you slept in the same bed as mat the night you ran into your ex. and you weren't going to share that now. they'd both read into it, think things were different than they actually were.

"i just miss my family," you said.

it was clear she didn't believe you, but thankfully, grace let it go. she walked back to the kitchen while you continued to lay out the stockings.

you finished with the stockings shortly after, not sparing another glance to the one with your name on it.

it took another thirty minutes to finish the decorating before you joined grace and sydney in the kitchen. you took a seat at the bar and watched them prepare some of the dishes for christmas. it was mostly just chopping and putting things into pans and oven safe dishes.

you were halfway listening to the chatter happening between the wives when your phone buzzed.

liana told me you ubered to anders'?

mat.

you texted back, a small smile on your face. sydney was already here, i didn't have a ride otherwise.

could've asked me to drop you off.

two hours early? no thanks.

well, stay there until the game is over. i'm picking you up.

you rolled your eyes, but still couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"what's mat saying now?" sydney asked.

"huh?" you asked, head snapping up to see two smirking blondes staring back at you.

"mat," grace said. "what did he say?"

"how did you--"

"you only smile like that with him," sydney explained. "certainly never smiled like that around your ex, the one time i saw him with you."

at the mention of jason, your stomach churned, but you kept up appearances.

you, grace, and sydney were chatting on the couches when the front door opened with matt, anders, and mat walking in. winnie, who was originally dozing off, popped up from laying on the couch to see her father standing there. she smiled and ran over to him.

anders walked in the living room and kissed his wife.

which just left you and mat, staring at each other across the room and not saying a word.

"how was the game?" sydney asked.

all three of the hockey players shrugged in unision. "fine," anders said before collapsing on the couch next to his wife. "how was your night?"

grace looked at you and sydney before smiling and turning to her husband. "i'd say it was productive and fun." you and sydney hummed in response.

matt came and sat next to his wife and a sleeping alice who was in sydney's arms. which just left an empty spot next to you and mat who was still standing in the doorway.

"barzy, you gonna come sit or stand there awkwardly?" anders chirped.

almost like he was snapped out of a daze, mat walked over and took the seat next to you, leaving about four inches between your hips and his. almost immediately, he threw his arm over the back of the couch behind your head.

you turned and looked at him for a moment, forgetting about the other people in the room. "ella with your parents?"

he nodded. "i offered to take her, but my mom insisted on putting her down."

"did you score at all tonight?"

he grinned and nodded yet again, but it was marty who cut him off.

"should've seen him! two goals, one assist."

your jaw dropped as you looked back at mat. "that's insane!" he immediately beamed at your reaction. your eye contact was broken up when his phone vibrated. mat's face twisted into a frown before he stood up and offered you a hand.

"hate to rush off, but my mom just said ella keeps crying and won't go to sleep, so we gotta go."

marty and sydney stood to their feet, each carrying a child. "we should also be heading out," matt said. anders and grace stood up a beat later, offering to walk all of you to the door.

matt and sydney exited first, with you and mat trailing behind them. mat's hand rested lightly on your lower back, something that had your knees trembling.

grace and anders hugged all of you goodbye and promised to see you in two days. they stood on the front porch and watched as all of you got into your respective cars.

mat didn't say anything until he was pulling out of the neighborhood. unlike the times before, the silence wasn't tense or awkward, it was just calm.

"did you have fun?" he asked.

"yeah, it was nice seeing them outside of hockey games and bar meet ups." you yawned.

"missed you at the game, it wasn't quite the same without you there."

"you scored twice and assisted on one goal, i'd say you did fine without me."

"could've gotten a hat trick if you were there."

you furrowed your brows, but there was a small smile playing at the edges of your lips. this felt normal, like nothing had changed, just you and mat. "how do you figure?"

he shrugged. "i always play better when you're there."

you almost did it. you almost asked him why. but you were scared of the answer, scared of what it would change.

scared that it wouldn't change a thing.

he's not gonna fall in love with you.

it was only a matter of minutes before you were back at your apartment. the two of you took the elevator to get to your floor.

you could hear ella's cries through the front door as mat hastened to unlock it. the second the door was open, every head turned towards the two of you. mat shut the door while you walked over to where liana was holding a crying ella.

ella immediately reached out for you, rubbing at her eyes when she finally settled on your hip. "sorry," you apologized to mat's family.

"what're you apologizing for, sweetheart?" nadia asked. she squeezed your arm before ushering her family to the front door. "we need to get to our hotel and get some rest. we'll see you three tomorrow."

"bye mom," mat kissed his mother's cheek and hugged liana and mike before walking them to the door and locking it behind them.

you stared at him, even as he turned around and made eye contact with you. you finally noticed a line on his forehead that you missed earlier.

you gestured to your own forehead. "you have a line right here..." you trailed off.

mat reached up a hand and felt for it before rolling his eyes. "it's from my helmet, dumbass."

you gasped and covered the one ear of ella's that wasn't pressed against your collarbone. "in front of the baby?"

"you said worse two days ago when you hit your hip on the kitchen counter."

you rolled your eyes, which seemed to be a recurring theme between the two of you that night. "i'm gonna try to take the queen to bed, wish me luck."

"i can put her down if you want," he said but you were already walking down the hallway and waving him off.

it took twenty minutes to settle ella down enough to go to sleep, and by the time you hit your mattress, you were out like a light.

day seventy-one

you woke up when the sunlight peeked through the blinds. your heart immediately shot to your throat when you realized you couldn't hear ella's sound machine through the baby monitor. the panic didn't settle when you turned over and realized it was off.

you jumped out of bed, barely remembering to throw on a sweatshirt over your tank top, and threw the door open.

you were immediately greeted with the sound of christmas music coming from the kitchen. it wasn't until you rounded the corner and saw mat making eggs with ella on his hip that you finally relaxed.

mat turned around at the sound of your heavy panicked breathing. his brows were furrowed and he moved the pan off the stove when he saw you were winded. "are you okay?"

"the monitor was off, i'm so sorry i thought i turned it on last night but i forgot--"

"i turned it off this morning," mat said. "figured you deserved a chance to sleep in."

ella smiled at seeing you and reached for you. mat didn't hesitate to walk her over, probably to make it easier to cook breakfast. you took ella and cherished the snuggles she gave you.

"when is your family coming over?"

mat tapped his phone, presumably to check the time or his texts. "fifteen minutes or so?"

you spared a glance outside. "will they be okay in the snow?"

"uh oh, mama bear's coming out," he teased. "we're literally from canada, my family will be fine."

you nodded, feeling heat crawl up your neck at the slight overreaction and concern.

the three of you sat at the table, eating the eggs and sausage mat made. normally, when you were with your family, you'd eat homemade cinnamon rolls, but maybe this year was about changing traditions and embracing them.

you picked up your phone and called your mom, waiting for her to answer. when she didn't pick up, you just shot her a quick "merry christmas" text and telling her to call you back when she gets the chance, that you couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.

by the time the three of you finished breakfast, his family was knocking at the door, greeting the three of you with an excited "merry christmas" when mat opened the door. while they got settled, you took ella out of the high chair and carried her into the living room.

you sat on the floor in front of the recliner and plopped ella in your lap while mike and nadia brought their wrapped presents in. mat and liana were the ones to pass them all out while their parents got situated on one end of the couch.

you were surprised to see some presents for you written in handwriting you knew did not belong to mat, part of you fully expecting nadia to have been bluffing two days ago.

when the presents were passed out, mat took the seat behind you in the recliner, even going as far as to let you lean against his shin for support.

"now, i don't know how you do it in your family, but in the barzal family, we going youngest to oldest, and we record everything," mike said, holding his phone up. "our sweet ella, though, is the first person to take away liana's long standing reign over opening presents first."

mat got out of the recliner, choosing to sit on the floor on your left, seemingly to help ella open her presents. you scooted back to use the recliner as back support now that mat was sitting next to you.

you heard a beep, presumably of mike's camera starting to record.

"let's open this one, ella bean," mat said to his daughter. he started ripping it at the edge, carefully placing the present in front of her and waiting to see if she did anything with it.

ella stared at it, but otherwise seemed uninterested

"look ella," you said, reaching around her and tugging the paper a little more.

she was uninterested until she heard the distinct sound of ripping. then she tried it for herself, laughing and clapping her hands when it made the noise she liked.

her first present was a puzzle made up of the letters of her name from liana. her next present was from nadia and mike, a box of playpen balls. you couldn't wait to open them, to get her settled in her playpen with them and watch her entertain herself.

mat helped her open the books everyone had bought her. he must've told his family she'd gotten into reading lately, because you weren't the only one contributing to her library.

mat's present to ella was a walker. she'd started crawling a few weeks ago, and mat was determined to get her to start walking before the end of the year.

your last present was the last one for her to open. it was just in a gift bag, and ella thoroughly enjoyed taking the tissue paper out once she got a hang of it. but nothing could've prepared you for the shriek that left her mouth when she saw the stuffed hippo.

you didn't think you'd ever seen her smile that big.

she reached for it with grabby hands, bringing it to her chest when she got it.

"guess we know her favorite gift," mat chuckled.

the rest of the morning was filled with the other presents being opened. you ended the morning with cute sweaters and a barzal jersey.

"so you can stop wearing mat's," liana had said. "figured you'd at least want something clean to wear to games."

mat had mumbled something under his breath, but when you asked him to repeat himself, he just pressed a kiss to the top of ella's head and kept his mouth shut.

when it was mat's turn to open gifts, you could feel yourself flush with embarrassment when he opened your gift. you didn't know the platonic way of saying "i got this because it would bring out your eyes," so you settled with "i thought you'd like it."

and he did, he swore it would be the tie he'd wear in the first game of the new year when you got back in town.

nadia made a wonderful christmas lunch. it was light because she knew you were going to the lee's in a matter of hours, but still better than anything mat could've cooked up.

it wasn't long before the three of you were saying your goodbyes with mike, nadia, and liana all promising to come see you soon, and to thank you for taking care of their newest addition.

just like any other time the three of you left the apartment, you carried ella while mat grabbed the diaper bag.

ella sat in her car seat, snuggling her hippo while mat drove.

"you must be pretty proud of yourself for that hippo gift," he said.

you smiled at him, reveling in the way he'd occasionally take his eyes off the road to look at you. "i am. i have an extra one in my closet just in case this one gets messed up."

his jaw dropped. "you're a fucking genius."

you weren't the last ones to get to anders' and grace's house, but you surely weren't the first. there was a line of cars parked on the street, none of which you recognized.

"are we taking the car seat inside?" you asked when mat put the car in park.

his hand paused over the door handle. "do you think we should?"

you shrugged. "we could always come back out and get it if we need it. but i'm willing to bet that she's gonna be passed around like a hot potato tonight."

mat rolled his eyes but sighed anyway. "as long as dobson doesn't hold her, it'll be fine." with that, he got out of the car and opened the back door to grab the bag.

"wait why?" you asked, getting out and unbuckling ella. "what's wrong with dobson?"

"he's like 23!"

you blinked. "am i missing something? why is that a problem?"

"he's too young to hold her, he'd do something dumb like drop her."

you rolled your eyes as you picked ella up, but said nothing.

the three of you were immediately accosted by christmas music and food smells when you walked through the front door of the lee house.

"you made it!" grace exclaimed, coming out of the living room to greet you. "grab your stocking and head to the couches, i think my husband is gonna do a toast and then we'll get started on dinner."

you nodded along and turned to look at mat who hadn't said anything. your heart dropped straight to your toes when you saw him pick up the stocking that made your mind go blank the other night. his fingers traced over his last name, then ella's name, then yours. he hesitated on yours though, fingers running over it like it was something delicate.

it felt weird to watch that moment, like you were intruding on something private, but before you could look away, he looked up at you. "did you see this?" he asked.

you nodded. "saw it the other night. are you mad?"

he quickly shook his head. "nope. just caught off guard." he glanced back down at the stocking before looking up at you and smiling. "let's get on with this, shall we?"

the night started with anders toasting to the team, but more importantly the wives and girlfriends and support behind each member who'd played a large role whether they realized it or not.

mat nudged you at that moment, which earned him an elbow in the side and a wink from anthony who stood next to him.

when they broke off for dinner, mat offered to take ella so you could get your plate first, but you declined, saying you could wait a few more minutes.

while he was gone, sydney approached. "so, how was this morning? get caught up under any mistletoe?" she nudged you. "get any sentimental gifts?"

when you thought about it, you didn't really. the gifts you got, while amazing, weren't tear jerking, which was surprising considering sydney had said mat's gift to you was thoughtful.

but what was thoughtful about a spa gift card and some bath bombs?

"nope, just the typical gifts, you know?"

sydney's face twisted a little before it righted itself when mat came back with a plate of food.

"got you what i thought you'd like," he said, handing the plate to you.

your brows furrowed. "i thought we agreed you'd eat first."

but he smirked. "no, you did."

"mathew. go eat!"

he shook his head. "not before you. now, let's trade, i'll take my child and you take the plate and go eat with sydney and the other wives if you want." mat handed the plate to sydney before taking ella and walking away before you could say anything.

you watched him walk away for a moment before turning to your friend, only to find her already looking at you. "what?"

she had a smirk for reasons you weren't sure you wanted to know about. "oh nothing."

the night continued on without much fanfare, with you and mat leaving around the same time as the martins again because of the children all three of you brought.

you'd made it back home before midnight. mat this time, wanted to put ella to bed, making sure to leave the hippo out of her crib.

you were in your room packing the last bit of your things so you could leave tomorrow and fly home. you were in the zone until you heard a throat being cleared. when you turned around, mat was leaning up against the doorway with a box in his hand.

"i know you're probably tired, but i have one last present for you."

"mat--"

"i didn't want to give it to you in front of my parents and liana, just seemed too personal." he offered no other explanation and just handed you the box.

you took it carefully, going to your bed and sitting down on the edge to open the present. when you pulled the lid off the box, you were staring at tissue paper until you pulled it away to reveal a photo album.

oh god.

it was the thoughtful present sydney had talked about.

you immediately pulled it out of the box and started flipping through it. the photos were some you'd never seen before, but they were all of you and ella. until you got further in, the photos went from just you and ella to you, mat, and ella.

you looked like a proper family.

sydney or grace must've had a hand in it, because half the photos you didn't remember being taken and they were all candids.

you could feel your eyes water, you noticed the pressure. but you kept wiping at your face to prevent them from falling onto the album itself.

you looked up at mat who looked the most unsure of himself since that first night he had ella. "i hope it wasn't over stepped, i just figured you would like to see how important you are to me, to us, me and ella." he gestured at the book. "some of the photos i took, others i got from grace and syd. i hope it's not weird or anything--"

but you were already up and crossing the room towards him.

a beat later you grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to yours.

he responded not even a split second later, his mouth moving against yours. mat's arms came around your waist while your hands made a home in his hair.

was kissing always supposed to be this charged? to feel this right?

you had no idea how long you stood there, kissing mat, before you both pulled away to breathe. your eyes opened slowly, only to meet his hazel irises almost immediately.

and then reality hit you.

jason's words haunting you at just the right time.

he's not gonna fall in love with you. you're a no good bitch who didn't know what she had when she had it.

you pulled away instantly and stumbled back into your room, dodging mat's hold when he tried to reach out for you.

"what's going on?" he asked. "what just happened?"

you shook your head and grabbed your bag, moving past him without making contact. "this was a mistake," you said. "i have to go."

god you felt sick to your stomach.

mat was calling your name, but you kept walking, out the front door, down the stairs, and onto the street where you hailed a taxi.

it wasn't until you got in that you exhaled.

what the fuck had you done?

taglist:

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[maesfics]

LAZY MORNING — l.sm

pairing ; lee seokmin x fem!reader

↬ warnings ; established relationship, dk being clingy, fluff, DK BEING BF MATERIAL lmk if I forgot anything.

↬ ㅤㅤword count ; 1.2k

↬ synopsis ; 𝑖𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ you and your boyfriend share a lazy, romantic morning complete with pillow fights, a pancake competition, and cherished moments under the cherry blossoms, capturing it all in a perfect photo.

a/n ; Idea litch just came to mind and i think is so fitting for this man. tbh idk how i feel about this but i think this turned out okay?? | p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated — i love to hear ur thoughts <3

if you want to request it's open! | inbox |

The first light of dawn had just begun to peek through the sheer curtains when the familiar melody of DK's voice filled the air, gentle but persistent. "Hey, wake up," he whispered, a playful lilt dancing in his tone. You groaned, burrowing deeper under the covers, only for them to be suddenly yanked away.

"Incoming!" DK announced, and before you could protest, a pillow struck softly against your side. Eyes snapping open, you grabbed a pillow of your own, and the quiet of the morning was quickly replaced by laughter and the muffled thumps of pillows.

The fight was less about winning and more about finding a thousand ways to make each other laugh. DK feinted to the left and you took the bait, ending up straddling him triumphantly. His eyes locked onto yours, a mischievous spark in them that matched your own. And then, as if pulled by an invisible thread, you both leaned in for a kiss, tender and lingering, a perfect contrast to the playful chaos moments before.

The kiss deepened, slowing time itself, before breaking into a series of smaller, softer ones—on the nose, the forehead, the laugh lines that only appeared when he was truly happy. Smiling, DK gently tugged you off him, his hands never leaving your waist as he guided you both towards the bathroom.

Amidst the steam and the smell of mint toothpaste, you stood side by side at the sink, brushing your teeth and sharing coy glances in the mirror. Every so often, DK would nudge you with his elbow, making you almost miss your mouth with the toothbrush, each little jab accompanied by a chuckle.

The domesticity of it was heartwarming, soothing in its simplicity. There was something incredibly intimate about performing such mundane tasks together, a silent declaration of trust and familiarity. And as you rinsed your mouths, the foamy water swirling down the drain, you realized these were the moments you cherished most—unremarkable to anyone else, but to you, they were everything.

After the shared laughter and playful nudges in the bathroom, the two of you moved to the heart of the home—the kitchen. The air was cooler here, away from the steam of the bathroom, and filled with the promise of a leisurely day ahead.

“Pancake challenge?” you proposed, already reaching for the flour and eggs. A competitive glint appeared in DK’s eyes, one that you had come to recognize and adore during your time together.

“You’re on,” he accepted, rolling up the sleeves of his comfortable, worn sweater. The kitchen became a battleground of sorts, with both of you determined to create the perfect pancake. He claimed one side of the counter, you the other, and so the Breakfast Beatdown commenced.

You both moved around the kitchen with an ease that spoke volumes of the mornings spent just like this one. He expertly flipped a pancake, catching it with a flourish that made you laugh. Not to be outdone, you attempted a flip that sent your pancake spinning, a bit off-center, but landing back in the pan nonetheless.

“Not bad,” DK appraised, his tone teasing but his smile genuine. “But let’s see if they taste as good as they look.”

You plated your creations, the golden-brown discs piled high and adorned with berries and a drizzle of syrup. Sitting down at the small kitchen table, the one with the mismatched chairs that somehow suited you both perfectly, you took your first bites.

The world outside didn’t matter in moments like these. It was just you, DK, and the quiet comfort of sharing a meal, the sweetness of the syrup somehow not as sweet as the company.

As you cleared the plates, a playful argument arose about who would wash and who would dry. It ended with a compromise—you would both wash, hands bumping and water splashing, turning even this simple chore into another opportunity for connection.

With the dishes done, it seemed only natural to continue the easy rhythm of the morning. DK pulled out his phone, a new idea already forming as he caught sight of the both of you in the reflective surface of the toaster.

“Let’s give carats a bit of a morning teaser,” he said, his voice low, mindful of the privacy you both cherished.

He held up the phone, the camera facing you two, and you both leaned in. The camera captured the scene—a snapshot of domestic bliss, your hair still tousled from sleep, his eyes crinkling with joy, the kitchen a backdrop to your shared life. It was a glimpse into a world that was usually kept just for the two of us.

The post went up on Weverse, with a caption that was warm but vague, a small insight into his world that wouldn’t reveal too much. The responses were immediate, a flurry of heart emojis and exclamations of how cute you both were, even though they could only guess at who the person beside him was.

As you scrolled through the comments, leaning against DK, you felt his arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you closer. You didn’t need to look up to know he was smiling—that easy, heart-stopping smile that promised more lazy mornings and shared pancakes to come.

As the digital flurry of comments continued to glow on the screen, both of you chose to set aside the phone, turning your attention back to the present, where the true essence of the day resided.

DK stood, offering his hand with a charming smile. "How about we go for a walk? The cherry blossoms should be perfect right now," he suggested. You nodded, eager to enjoy the outside air, a perfect continuation of your lazy morning.

Hand in hand, you stepped outside, the spring breeze greeting you with the faint scent of blossoms and fresh earth. The streets were quiet, a peaceful Saturday morning with just the occasional passerby, who either didn't recognize DK or chose to respect his privacy. The tranquility added a layer of perfection to your stroll.

As you walked, the rows of cherry trees in full bloom seemed to arch above you, creating a tunnel of soft pink petals. Suddenly, DK paused under a particularly lush cherry blossom tree, its branches heavy with vibrant pink blooms.

"Stay right here," he said, stepping back with his phone raised. "This needs to be captured."

You looked up, smiling as a gentle shower of petals fell around you. DK snapped several photos, his eyes lighting up with each one. Coming over, he showed you the screen, a series of images that perfectly captured the essence of the moment—joy, serenity, and the surreal beauty surrounding you.

"I'm setting this as my wallpaper," he declared, his voice filled with a warmth that matched the sunny day. "So even when I'm away, I can always have this moment with me."

You felt a surge of affection, touched by his gesture. The day continued with your hands re-entwined, each step under the cherry blossoms further deepening your connection.

Finally returning home, you both settled on the couch, wrapped in a light blanket, content to simply be in each other’s presence. Outside, the world continued at its usual pace, but inside, the slow rhythm of a lazy morning stretched on, a timeless bubble that both of you cherished deeply.

DK looked over at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thanks for the perfect morning," he murmured.

"You make every morning perfect," you whispered back, leaning in for another kiss, slow and sweet, the perfect end to your lazy morning under the cherry blossoms.

[fandomfantasyy]

MASSIVE WARNING FOR II 17 SPOILERS ++ INANIMATE INSANITY THEORY ++ ADAM KATZ TWITTER CODE SOLVING !!

i am holding onto way more hope than i should, however, this is a stray theory of mine that im holding onto for said hopes sake.

to those who haven't watched ii 17 yet, PLEASE keep scrolling. i mention just about everything that happened in the episode, and im basically reviewing it at the start. the episode is so much better without any spoilers!!

so, inanimate insanity 17. if you don't wanna hear me blabber on and on about the episode, scroll to the other big text. otherwise i am RANTING i need an outlet. 3:

inanimate insanity 17 was a rodeo. me and my partner had a few straggling theories before we watched it, and a few of them were true. knife did indeed punch cobs, they really did fight, everyone that heard was disappointed to find out they were made by mephone 4.

starting with the majority of the opening sequence, going from memory here, knife's desperation? ow. suitcase's new found paranoia? OW. them doing everything to find out what was wrong was so bittersweet, because you can just tell that they don't know how to stop it and are holding onto to random theories and hope.

nearing more of the middle section, i completely forgot that bow could possess people. made me giggle a bit tbh….. besides that, I HATE COBS HE MANIPULATED MY BABY, TOILET. ☹️ the admission of guilt from mephone 4, only to realize his apology could never speak loud enough almost killed me. lightbulb, fan, and test tube, all dead. the bright lights poly. when toilet told mepad that he understood it wasn't a competition anymore? and when cobs pulled off toilet and begun killing everyone? jesus christ dude (also im a little sad at the lack of extra pronunciation on "your" when paper yelled at salt saying "hes not your boyfriend" as a payjay shipper but....)

more on the end side, the fight convinced me for a damn while. it doesn't make sense to me how one single throw got knife extremely scuffed and chipped, but it's finneee, it's show logic!! :3 anygays. the main painful time. the pull of the plug, prompting toilet to call himself "the best assistant", the way knife put his hand on suitcase to comfort her, the way cobs SACRIFICED MEPHONE X??? dude this show is gonna make me go bonkers.

last but not least, "the show is over," and mephone 4 has no choice but to go back "home" with cobs. ow.

there are still so many questions. the eggs helped power everything, but were they fake? how did mephone 4 find the land he built inanimate insanity on? obviously it isn't fake, he's still sitting on it at the end of the episode. where's 3gs? what about mepad? was mepad made up? too much to answer with too little information.

overall, what a painful episode. it seems like the end, right? wrong.

inanimate insanity is not over. we are getting ii18.

at least, thats my theory. average movie length spans 1½ hours to 2½ hours. us inanimate insanity fans were told that this finale would be as long as a movie. right now, we are only at an hour. i dont remember the last time i watched a movie that was only an hour. they're out there, yes, but i doubt the creators would pray on very short movies to support their angst.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

season one and season three's final episodes ended with a "the end". ii17 did not have this end card. this seems like a very crucial thing that they couldn't just "leave out". after all, why on the most important finale of all of the finales so far, would they leave out saying "the end"? if it's truly the end, they wouldn't leave it with a black screen and a sobbing community. (the last part, maybe, but not the first part.....)

both season one ended with 18 episodes, and season three ended with 19 episodes. season two seems to almost be ending on episode 17. this could go either way, with season two ending with a pattern of 17-18-19, OR, if we're really lucky, 18-19-20. (or we just get an extra 18 or smth idk)

there is a reason why this is only a stray theory of mine. only 6 days before the release of ii17, adam katz and brian koch were saying their thank you's and goodbye's to the inanimate insanity community. it feels like the end of this show is near, if not sadly over now.

overall, i still have hope. but this wont be clear until we either see a ii18 trailer or we dont. i will regularly update this with new information as it gets found by me and my partner. goodbye for now, inanimate insanity community, and good luck.

robot adam's twitter saga.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". (credits to @\NickleBFDIA2012 on twitter/x !!) we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

connecting to that, more hints have already been found. there was a code on cabby's wiki that is decoded to “You want the second key word? These pages are your answer. Next, go to the three time player with the lowest average placement." (credits to @\MeesterTweester on twitter/x !!) this brought the fandom to nickel (i believe), and im not quite sure what it says.

however, i do know one thing. it's been solved, and my theory was proven true.

we will be getting episode 18 of inanimate insanity by late november.

[foundfam2754]

S17e10 (finale!) live reactions!

Spoilers…obviously

- AHHH this is it!! finally! here. we. go.

- yeah they better not hurt my kiddos thank you very much

-I’m telling you NOW. this is all about Elias. He’s the center of the conspiracy. that’s been my theory since e1. if he didn’t say anything about GS, none of this would have started

- of course, Emily’s kidnapped again. That HAS be in Paget’s contract or something

- where are JJ and Luke?? boyf and bff up to no good again

- what did Emily do?? what’s she being judged for?

- I KNEW IT. THEY WERE GONNA DO FLASHBACKS AGAIN

- tbh this has to be the least scary time that’s she’s been “abducted and interrogated” lol

- I KNEW IT. My “Emily abduction count” was 4

- this is the “dramatic and cry-y” outfit for Pen!!

- I think my theory is right!! if you have been reading my reaction posts every week you’ll know I have a theory about this season:

that the underlying conspiracy of the season being that they’re (BAU and the gold stars) doing everything Elias wants them to do - and it was all to get him out of jail and to screw over the BAU, and it all started with Bailey’s “gold star” in 16x10. especially because the only way they can resolve it is by confiding in voit. because he knows everything and how everyone really feels. and everyone’s priorities

- lol elias’ cell looks like a college dorm

- I KNEW IT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CONSPIRACY. - ELIAS. IS. THE. CENTER OF IT!!! I’m just so proud of myself

- OMG that’s not a spin I saw coming

- wait wait wait did I forget or did they JUST tell us about Emily’s sister

- aw man doug bailey’s such a good egg

- chaotic voit is so fucking funny

- also that’s a cool shot

- god doug bailey is *so* cute

- oh god - voit knew if bailey ended up on that wall, pete would fall into deeper into the conspiracy!! 🤯🤯

- BIT THROUGH HER TONGUE?

- how does emily end up being cool and such a bitch badass even when she’s in that much pain!??

- “Jenny?” ew

- “we can smell you later” HAHA

- haha I fucking love Tyler “thought experiment”

- “hey, Ty-Ty” “Lucas” I FUCKING LOVE CHAOTIC ELIAS

- oh my god Penelope, stay safe

- PEN PROTECTING TYLER!!! it actually threw him off, you could see his face, it’s the eye contact specifically that threw him off

- oh my god that’s horrifying

- this whole episode is the bau trying to throw Elias of and v/v

- oh god I forgot about emily

- is she about to say that she loved him? pls, I kinda liked them together

- also a lil inconsistency that bugs me; in 15x4, they said that you can never talk down a conspiracy theorist, a targeted individual - they just have to let them believe what they believe - so why is Em trying to convince them so hard, shouldn’t she profile them? idk

- wait I don’t get it, how does the board relate to the team coming?? wouldn’t they have booby trapped it either way? why does Luke dancing in a towel after his shower have anything to do with it??😂

- omg Luke

- OMG dave this is so smart

- Jade’s gonna do something isn’t she??

- I KNEW IT

- when is pen going to cry? im so unsure what kirsten’s insta post was about bc the ep is almost over

- “discretion is the better part of valor” - interesting

- wait are we getting profilers back?? now that she has more money

- Penelope’s house!!

- but also no more greencia pls

- pen and luke pls?? pls? pls. :(

- wuoh elias…

GREAT SEASON!!! but we deserved garvez

looking forward to 2026, when I can do these again :)

more to come as I reflect on the season, but thanks for sticking w me as I did these reactions!!

[odukora-lore]

Hi Mykz! I wanted to ask something about your story titles, what would you say is the meaning behind all of them? As in, what does it relate to in-universe, what's the irl inspiration, all that?

LMAOOOO okay this is rlly fun tbh, ngl this was something I was sortaaaa gonna ramble in a recording but then didn't end up, but this is honestly something I somewhattt keep track of in my blorbo notes draft so I somewhat remember them at the tip of my tongue

Either wayyyyy

The Eternal: Fallout - ngl TEF went through a shit fucking load of title changes ffs, veterans would know Egg™ (that's a story for another day) but the main predecessors before it would be A Fault in Time and Brotherhood, AFIT is basically like, hinting at Atch fucking up the time travel lmao that's pretty much it, my memory is kinda blurry on that one cuz it's been a shitass while, it remains as a title that I still rlly like til this day thou that's just unfortunately thrown into the outdated pile, Brotherhood was like, a hint towards it Rin and Jingle's bond (Rin was the protagonist lmao, but again this is another rant for another day), and some sprinkles of the Tree Fam conflict (the earliest version of it anyway) so mainly between Oak and Birch

TEF itself is funny af thou cuz like, I kinda don't recall the exact moment I even settled on it unlike POE??? I think I was just playing around titles and shit, I'm soooo sooo sure The Eternal as like, the tragedy™ is a thing for a while thou, and iirc it mainly stemmed from the concept of, okay yeah ppl keep disappearing for an infinite amount of time, an eternity, it's the eternal™, but hell I can't say for sure lol, I do vaguely remember me settling on fallout cuz one of it's meanings were *the aftermath*, so basically TEF is like, the Aftermath of Mountain Expedition Gone Wrong (in non lore terms lol)

Paradigm of Empyrean - THIS ONE is fun cuz I didn't even come up w the og titles lmaooo, the oldest ver is Mysteries of Naru (for a shit while it was called MON), but like, kinda meant as a series I think, but idr either cuz I didn't wrote crap lol, I do know it's supposedly a trilogy though, the pipeline going Paradigm of Immortality -> Sealed Fate -> Fortress of Time (almost forgot the last one wtf I had to dig my old blorbo drafts), and then as I won the custody war™ I figured I wanted it to just be the one story™ cuz there's too much unknown lore for me to make it into an expansive series, at first I just figured I'd combine it so Paradigm of Fate was the placeholder title for a while before the actual revamp™ last year where I expanded further on the constellation and afterlife shit, the empyrean as a place wasn't rlly a thing not until recently iirc,

But the most fun part abt all this is the unintentional lore connections, cuz paradigm can mean *pattern* and empyrean can mean *sky* so essentially Patterns of the Skies, aka constellations lmao

Again a lotta shit for my main stories are extremely lore heavy so the titles kinda don't make shit sense unless you know what's going on

Anyways onto the supporting stories™

Swan Feather - this one is relatively simple lol, EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU BLACK SWAN ORCHESTRAL VER FOR BIRTHING THE VERY CONCEPT OF DULCET anyways I've rambled abt this quite a lot on my ramblez acc but swan feather was made when I was basically lost™ on wtf to do w TEF tbh lmaoooo, TEF was basically in like heavy revamp era and I was kinda getting pissed and mildly losing passion over it so I just figured fuck it I'm gonna make a whole new story™ to focus on while that remains in shambles for the time being, and then at the time this miraculous mv was released around the same time and the rest is history

I can dissect everything even further but it'll take up half of this damn page atp lmao, but a lot of the swan feather concepts surrounded passion I suppose, Heron and Dulcet were basically reflections of that, w Tang initially wanting to become a warrior out of passion but eventually got obsessed w wanting to be acknowledged and climbing the ranks he just straight up lost who he is (quite literally even), the Eclipsis Empire is sorta a shorthand for trading yourself away to achieve an empty dream that you sought to achieve but losing your very initial drive to pursue it in the first place, Heron initially only fighting cuz he was put on a pedestal to fight but now he has to for the sake of his bloodline, he fights w passion of wanting to defend all he has ever known, that is what intrigued Dulcet, mf basically saw a coward but then a coward w the kinda effort and dedication that he has not seen since forever and purposefully does not kill him from the get go just to see how far this mf can go lmao

A lot of Duclet's graceful dance esque fighting style was inspired by the orchestral ver itself tbh (alongside the quote at the beginning of the mv), I'd be stuck in car rides and imagining an epic fight scene™ and then going hell I need to make a story of out this shit and then it happened lol, forever extremely extremely pissed there's no official release on Spotify, the amount of mfs I'd maul to get that on there to make the perfect SF playlist ever™, but tldr I lost passion but a song abt losing passion made me reignite passion to make a story about losing passion and gaining it back

Sundowner - this is again kindaaa the kinda shit I don't remember lmaooo but tbh sundowner wasn't even supposed to be a story anyway cuz it remained a joke for the longest time, but I still figured it deserved a title so I know wtf I am talking abt when I am talking abt the story lol, I think I just went digging up aesthetic sounding words that are fairly dark sounding and related to illegal things™ and found sundowner: "an alcoholic drink that is drunk at around the time the sun goes down", but then also "a tramp arriving at a sheep station in the evening under the pretence of seeking work, so as to obtain food and shelter" which somehow fit the whole tone of the story lol, esp the latter one cuz majority of ppl affiliated w Budgie are honestly just looking for a means to *survive* through the mess, in some sense its the Budgie Enokie dichotomy within a single title lmao

The Sun is a Star - I'm pretty sure I came up w this on a whim aswell tbh, TSIAS isn't as old as the other stories ngl, like TEF has roots in 2018, same w POE iirc, SF and SD are kinda 2020 esque things, TSIAS is like very late 2022 and early 2023 I think??? TOI has roots in 2018 too lol I'll rant abt that in that section, anyways for a while I didn't even bother expanding it into a full fledged story cuz I was just mainly toying around w the Skyble dynamic lol, in fact Cirrus and Vinca were from entirely separate stories (I don't talk abt them enough lol but they're in the main lineup if u check the site, it'll be a ramble for another day thou), before I decided I'd merge them cuz I wrote a joke esque snippet between Marble complaining to Vinca abt crushing on Skye over the phone lmao

Again it's one of those stories that almost became a tertiary story before I scrapped the notion altogether lol but it was lore heavy enough to be on the same lvl as SF and SD, the title is pretty much a hint towards how the team is mainly researching stars to be used as solar energy equivalents lol, basically the origins of stars as raw magic life forces plays into this, and I just wanted a simple catchphrase esque title that included the concept

Tales of Iridescence - this one is also rlly rllyyyyyy fun cuz the shit is like TOI has roots in 2018 for being a story I came up w a friend on Animal Jam lmao, initially it was called Friendship Tales™ (cliche af but can u tell the mlp influence), but then yeah that's the shit, it was abandoned for a rllyyyyyy long time tbh lmao like Tropiciana lvls of it's extremely unlikely I'll ever revamp this again but then suddenly Magical Girl Obsession™ and then I realize how much the concept fitted a magical girl one lol, figured I wanted to keep the Tales part of it as some way to preserve it's og vibes (like the way I did w POE), and then thought abt like shiny rainbowy things lol, Prism/Prismatic was so close to being in the title tbh but Iridescence rolled off the tongue better

Anyways onto side stories 🔥

Faldeigh Street - this is again another one w funny origins lmaooo okay so the og og og og ogggg ver of this was Where Time Meets, again roots in 2018 (damn I just kept writing shit back then), basically a cliche romcom esque story tbh, I've had so many instances of wanting it to become lore heavy but I just can't bother giving up the cheesy fluffy vibes it always had so I just left it be, Where Time Meets was a part of some trilogy esque thing thou (but then not rlly either they're meant to be sorta separate, the lineup was basically Where Time Meets, Stand by You, Wings of Dawn) but the characters eventually meet to go on this big glowlin origin adventure™ (obviously scrapped lol), this was gonna be the supposed tertiary story I kept ranting abt before TOI was a thing tbh, cuz I just wanted my old main cast to go somewhere (how TEF replaced my old main cast is another load of shenanigans lmao)

But eventually I found it too nostalgic to even make any major changes, for now it's kinda in development limbo cuz there's alotta shit I'm trying to settle, initial title rlly is just me attempting to sound poetic as a preteen tbh, like ohhh where time meets, where these ppl meet at a specific time and cross paths (aka why it was extended into where time meets destiny eventually), cuz the gist was like Maca (the protagonist lol) helped her dad run a cafeteria and then every evening around closing hour there would be this mysterious guy™ that would show up and buy coffee and coffee only lol (another ramble for another day) but again I felt like the title kept sounding rlly lengthy and lore heavy for something supposedly light hearted so I just renamed it into something simplistic like Faldeigh Street (aka where the story takes place lol), actually on second thought it'll be fun to name it Faldeigh Street: Where Time Meets Destiny as some call back anyway, like oh it's this place where ppl cross paths at a specific hour, hm I'm suddenly liking this lmaoooo

Cupid's Serenade - THIS ONE again its sorta like SD having the Budgie Enoki dichotomy this is basically between Angie and Azalea lol, Angie mainly has a cupid aesthetic and Azalea mainly has a siren aesthetic, I was 🤏 this close to naming it Cupid's Sirenade as some sorta pun but idk it looked more like a mispelled word from afar without the context lmao, again this is another one of those stories that didn't have a title for a shit while until I came up w it onna whim

Cabbage Peak - another one I came up onna whim lmaoooo so many of these titles are just me going I need a title what could work and then slap it on there as placeholder before okay this works, but then yeah cabbage peak is just me trying to find a funny ass farm land esque name, the kinda shit you'd name your stardew farm, it's intentionally reeking of stardew tbh just mildly sillier and more absurd for the vibes™

Weather Headquarters - this shit probably has roots in 2016 or even older lmaoooo but like, idk if I named it weather hq back then, I knew Cloud Island was a thing thou, iirc it was named Cloud Island lmaoooo and the weather hq was more so the actual organization (like OWL and ORCA) that did the weather bs, pretty straightforward one tbh

Homecoming - I haveeee dumped abt this so I won't ramble too much but tldr it was a TEF sequel esque thing and the concept hinged on the victims going home™ and then Lio's whole thing of going home and then Atch's whole thing of finding home among the mortal realm and Aichi returning to Naru after presumedly millenia, suddenly I realize the actual actual first ever usage before TEF was conceptualized was actually the Truffs alien AU when Corondale was on the fcking moon and it was essentially the story of Asteria attempting to bring the rockrifts back to earth LMAO that's a whole other shit for another day

All the Days had been Sunny in Tropiciana - again another rlllllyyyyy fun one, Tropiciana has always been a thing tbh like Friendship Tales lol (I think they're even from the same era), basically wanted a tropical island sounding name and my preteen ass was extremely creative™, it's basically the name of the island where the og cast had a summer camp on lol (current ver actually has them live there), anyways this one is interesting cuz again I've always wanted like, a rlly rlly long title for the absurd joke affect, it's just a funny trope I've seen around and I wanted to pull it off, and then I got reminded of like this one attempt at rewriting an old Tropiciana ch, iirc I was on my Good Omens spree™ at the point in time, and the book is known to start w "it was a nice day, all the days had been nice", so I think I started w it was a sunny day, all the days had been sunny, or something, I don't remember tbh lmao, but that's sorta the shit I eventually went w, ig there's also the indirect influence of it's always sunny in philadelphia but I've never seen the thing and only heard of the funny sitcom esque title and it reeked more like sundowner from the looks of it lmao

Anyways that's that, can't believe I ranted for like an hour straight lol worth it, first ever blorbo inquiry answer is fifty pages long 🔥🔥🔥

[sunlightandsuffering]

https://www.tumblr.com/sunlightandsuffering/755548925701799936/httpswwwtumblrcomsunlightandsuffering7555088?source=share

bye i forgot to anon, anyway, OH LYS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME *AGGRESSIVE CACKLING NOISES* NOW IM IMAGINING THE EVENTS AFTER THAT LMAO i went to the comment section bc yes i read it again as well, and everyone's just fanning the flames (IN HELL!!! SEE YOU ALL THERE) and contributing to the encounter's aftermath 😭😭

tumblr over other active socmeds, very understandable tbh i love how unhinged it is here and likee the users' interactions are more ✨ interesting ✨ here than the other sites ikyk

IT'S OKAY I LOVE U SO IT'S FINE, I DO ENJOY MEETING FELLOW TUMBLR USERS !!! ILL STEAL U FOR MY FEED !!! omg i have to go and look back at the comments, they'll egg me on but BC OF U !! I actually just started writing a little silliness LMFAO !! We are unhinged tho, like where else would i casually write about a crazy church goer and corrupt cop but tumblr and AO3? THE CHAOS IS IMMINENT

Does Eren feel great about corrupting the local church’s youth group leader and shining example of chastity? No, not really, in fact, his mother would probably murder him for it if she ever found out. 

But in the meantime, he’s sure stories of his ‘new girlfriend’ and possible marriage prospect will mollify her.

Or at least he hopes so, but regardless, that is the least of Eren’s problems. His biggest problem is the pain in the ass cadet he’s been assigned as a partner for the last week and a half of Armin’s paternity leave and said local churchgoing sweetheart’s ex-boyfriend. All in all, Eren has embroiled himself in a plot quite fitting for the church. He can see the headline now, ‘Local Cop Seduces Innocent Church Girl, Leaves Hopeful Cadet Destitute’.

“I hate him,” Jean is muttering darkly from Armin’s desk across from him, fidgeting with his pen in agitation. If only Jean knew that Eren is the ‘him’ he’s referring to. Instead, he’s simply been subjected to a singular break up text, and several quotes about the bible and forgiveness splashed across Mikasa’s instagram story. 

If Eren weren’t in the middle of it he’d find the entire plot amusing, but he doesn’t want Jean to become more irritating than he already is. 

The rhythmic click, click, click of Jean’s pen clicking is what finally sets Eren over the edge. “Leave your personal shit at home, Kirstchein, we have a job to do and that paperwork isn’t going to complete itself.” Jean looks like a kicked puppy as he turns back towards his paperwork, appropriately chastised by his superior, and for a split second Eren almost feels bad for the man. 

But then Mikasa sends him a nude, and he doesn’t feel so bad for the asshole anymore.

[juminsswife]

my thoughts on Netflix's ATLA live action

As an adult who watched this show growing up and was there for the countdown to the comet (iykyk!!) I have thoughts!

Best: Zuko. angsty, teenage boy depression, father issues, determined to a self-destructive degree. The actor is great at capturing all these facets of Zuko's conflicting, complex character. Really great with the choreography/martial arts too. Its not easy to pull off Zuko's mostly shaven but with a ponytail haircut, but this actor manages it. And yes, the opening scene with him seeing the beam of light from the iceberg and saying, "Finally." did give me some chills. Honestly the actor just captures Zuko really well. Great casting.

Worst: Katara. has the personality of an elegant yet unassuming well watered house plant. Its more because of the writing than the actress… she's doing her best with this depressing egg whites version of Katara she's had thrusted upon her. It's not going to be convincing when Toph comes along next season and calls her sugar queen.

Aang: never has any fun. spends every episode staring into the distance being sorrowful and melancholic. *teardrop rolls down cheek* he is a depressed 40 year old in the body of a 12 year old. He has no fun side to him anymore- an important side for a 12 year old kid to have! Also spends the entirety of season one (you know, titled "water"!) and doesn't learn a lick of waterbending, not even from Katara, who spends a lot of it learning from the waterbending scroll!! Why??? However the actor is doing a great job and I think he captures Aang's essence really well. He is young and I think next season he will improve a lot.

Sokka: I almost forgot to write thoughts down for him, which I think says more than anything else. He's essentially been boiled down to the same old overprotective big brother, but now he comes complete with daddy issues. It's a little hilarious that Katara's worst memory is watching her mom get burned alive by a firebender soldier while Sokka's is hearing his dad say he's disappointed with him. Kind of ruins the moment tbh. They really took all the fun aspects of the main Gaang and dulled them down completely, its sad. At least he's cute though- and imo, the chemistry with Suki's actress was there.

The previous avatars: every single one meets Aang just to berate & yell at him and tell him he shouldn't have friends and where has he been for the past 100 years without giving him a second to speak. What?? Sadly it seems any dignity, grace, or wisdom the previous avatars had in the original, has been completely wiped out in this live action. Also, this idea of them telling Aang about things that are going to happen makes no sense. Did no previous avatar tell Roku his friend was going to betray him, let him die on the island, and start a 100 year long war? Also the idea of Aang being able to communicate ONLY if he's in one of their temples is stupid. What is the point of the avatar state, then? Will Roku be able to teach him anything at all?

Princess Yue: yes I wrote an entire paragraph about her lol. She is one of my favorite minor characters. I think they wanted her to look so accurate to her original counterpart that she just looks too much like a cosplayer, with such a stiff and lifeless looking wig. This is the one and only time I will concede I prefer M. Night's version of Yue as far as costuming goes, though both funnily enough forget her eyebrows shouldn't be dark. The actress was fine. But this version of Yue is quite a different person from og Yue, I can't really compare. Plus, it feels like we see her for a good 10 minutes before she dies for the moon spirit. I couldn't buy into her and Sokka having feelings for each other because it felt like they knew each other for a good 2 hours at most. Ideally, I think these two versions kind of fused together would be perfect.

Azula/Mai/Ty Lee: Grouping them together because. Azula is the most unconvincing out of the characters for me. I don't buy that this girl is supposed to be the princess Azula for a second. I'm neither intrigued nor intimidated, and that's pretty bad as Azula was one of my top favorite characters from the original. The costume is fine, the wig feels cheap, her dialogue is horrendous, the actress can't convince me. Azula isn't smart or cunning, sharp, or collected, and her "working with Zhao" just made her look dumb when the entire plan flopped. She is a whiny, petulant little girl stamping her feet in every other scene. It's not for me. Also, the way her relationship with Ozai is depicted here makes Ozai look like a loser, too. It's like they want us to not be afraid of either of them.

As for Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee is fine. She looks okay, the actress is fine for how little we see her. On Mai, the wig is just so bad I don't get what happened. It's like they're struggling on the line of being realistic with the styling, or leaning completely in cartoon-character-came-to-life. I don't think the actress for Mai here was a good choice.

Dialogue: the worst part of this show. When they're not completely quoting word for word from the original, it's.. just bad. Everything is always exposition and thats not good. The few moments that aren't are just... idk.

CGI: not bad. I was expecting worse. Fire, earth, and air all look great. Water feels a little slow, mostly when its just water and not ice but that can be improved I assume. Koh was pretty cool, as was Wan Shi Tong.

Settings: Beautiful!! Omashu looked great. South and North water tribes looked great. Ozai's throne room looked incredible and I was annoyed every time we see it, he is just standing around and not sitting on his throne. It just reminded me how amazing the buildup to Ozai and Azula's reveals were in og season 1.

Costume: Its either a hit or a miss. There's strangley not much in between. Aang, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, Iroh, June, Ozai, Jet, Suki, the Kyoshi warriors, all look pretty great. Then you have characters like Azula, Mai, or Yue, who just look like half decent cosplayers. It kind of takes you out of the moment when it looks like the person is a cartoon character, rather than just a normal person. For example, compare how Katara looks compared to Azula.

Music: of course it was fantastic. A lot of it (I think most) was from the original show, which has one of the greatest soundtracks an animated show has ever had imo.

Final thoughts: Ultimately, it was kind of what I was expecting. You can't condense 20+ episodes worth of development into 8 and expect it all to flow perfectly. However, there are also a lot of changes that really don't make sense to me. I am very curious to know how on earth they will do seasons 2 and 3, as season 1 is the slowest in pace compared to the next two seasons. The original's finale was split into four episodes! Unless they add more episodes for next season, it's going to be a big jumbled mess of lore being shoved into our faces. I am also concerned about Toph. The Gaang so far has been stripped of their fun/unique personality traits. Is Toph going to be the same?

[jazzpostsrandomthings]

Hey, sorry for the absense, my friends introduced me to the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the Award-Winning Heavensward Expansion and ALSO Award-Winning Stormblood Expansion up to level 70 for free with no restrictions on playtime in late September and also university is hard so I kinda forgot about Tumblr (not to mention the fact that Endwalker spoilers that it started to recommend me also made me reconsider returning prior to my completion of MSQ), but because the NA Cloud StressTest servers happened, I decided to make a little post about it here.

So, I was the person who made Edward Elric for this server. Of course he had to be a lalafell.

I first came here for the sake of memes and looking at funny nicknames, but I managed to find a lot of fun and friendly people here. Some didn't have Discord, some were on JP Data Centers (which is great, I am from a JP DC myself) but they were speaking Japanese and weren't too great at English, but some people were willing (and able) to talk to me and I appreciate that...

tbh FFXIV made me find a lot of new awesome people and for that I am incredibly glad that my friends decided to invite me here. I may be a bit too hyperfocused on the game at times, but it's the first MMO that I hadn't abandoned after level 30/month of playing. It's truly special but I will talk about it later perhaps.

I make this post to find more people that might've seen me during the stress test. I hope I really made the day for you with my weird, almost drunken shenanigans when it came to me offering "the fullmetal eggs" to some folk, lol

Anyways, time for some nickname highlights (click on the image to see the full thing)

Man I love this community.

[shmowder]

SO I was about to say that we never spoke on your BG3 blog, but I actually found one question by me, asking if you were playing the original Pathologic or P2 😂 By the time I found that blog you'd already pretty much moved on to this one (which is fine!). But I rb'd a couple fics to my sideblog. Certainly never imagined myself reading about a giant half-spider woman but here we are ♡ The thing about Minthara is that I adore her but I don't know anything about the rest of the game and it's too expensive for me to commit to right now - and I'm always hearing about her romance being bugged anyway.

Yuria <333 And Sister Friede but more importantly, Yuria! I love that you love her too! I confess that I never got past the Abyss Watchers but tbh I'm amazed I got that far. And at least my Ashen One got to meet Yuria (and heard her best line "And I, of course, am also thine" hehe). Good for you for getting through it! Bloodborne is the one Fromsoft game I've beaten and it was rough getting used to the Dark Souls combat, so I watched a walkthrough of the rest. And I've also watched a ~90 hour walkthrough of Elden Ring, which did put me to sleep occasionally lmao but I just don't have the willpower to play huge open world games anymore.

I almost finished a NG+ playthrough of Bloodborne recently, until I started the DLC and promptly got my ass handed to me and I was like hmmmm actually now is the perfect time to start a new SDV farm 🤔

But, I'm taking a little break because I've indeed started Patho 2 again!! It's the beginning of day 5, I'm using super easy settings again and I found my old notes of where the Dead Item Shop is every day and which items to save for upgrades etc. Despite that, I seem to be missing more than ever. I may have focused a little too much on trading and collecting herbs and caches. Forgot the bell rang on Day 3 and didn't gather the Apple Basket Gang rip :( (I noticed that Lara and Artemy both have dialogue about not being 30 yet, so there's that question out of the way) But on the bright side I have more eggs than I could ever need (maybe…) and I'm on my 3rd inventory upgrade.

Haha, based on that anecdote I'd say you know more Russian than I do. I know a lot of people listen to other things when playing games but I've never tried that except when hatching Pokemon eggs. I love hearing the in-game sounds and music. Victor and Yulia have the same theme playing in their houses!

Yes of course we can be friends! Requesting from writing blogs is what originally got me interacting with others, so, kind of like you, just the other way around 😅 Then I discovered it can be nice just to talk sometimes. It seems like you're having a good time on this blog! Chill is good. Part of me is still flabbergasted that there's a Pathologic x reader blog that exists and it's run by a great writer who obviously has so much love for the characters which is a huge plus <3 But I like the memes too :) I can't speak for other anons, but I always check my entire dash until I'm completely caught up.

Moving on… WHEN I TRANSLATED THE TITLE OF THE VICTOR X READER FIC!! Hooo boy, I'm a simple girl and the "You're good, my little dove, you're good. Despite it all, you're good" quote is one of my favorites. It's like you read my mind with the description - SOFT, TENDER, and UNSTABLE? Three of my favorite things 😇

So!! I am the human embodiment of this emoji while reading 🤭🤭🤭 Honestly so galaxy brained of you make it into a fic, I could never be upset about that. There's such an atmosphere to this from the very beginning, I don't know how to describe it but I want to bite it. Playing house with slightly off vibes, "Like handling a stray cat" OUGH. (I agree that'd he'd want to play at domesticity.) The way he notices everything, his solicitousness. Reader as sacrificial lamb imagery. "He takes and takes like you're the cure for his morose soul."

The immortality vs mortality thing! That's when I really got why this works so well as a fic instead of hcs. I love that it feels like a character study as much as a smut fic (and ofc I appreciate all the little details about time). TOP TIER SMUT ALSO. His endless patience while also being in emotional/spiritual/physical agony, him praising the reader's patience, he does seem like the type to draw it out a while - "He'll hide you from the world and everything dangerous outside" 😳

And the end!! What a beautiful, brilliant mind, what a sensitive fragile heart, what a lovely soul. My goodness. Just - [keysmash] [disintegrates]

That was AMAZING and you should be proud. Thank you for taking my request and running with it <333

If my overzealous reaction to the froggy chair birthday pic never made it through, thank you for that too! It's delightful.

Happy birthday!! 🧁🎉 I hope you enjoy the day.

🐿️ anon

You remembered my birthday! I love you!

God I was refreshing my notes waiting for your reaction over the fic. I'm so happy you liked it <33 Especially how you qouted your favourite lines and your reaction to them, that's literally the highest of praise I could receive. You understand the underlying themes, the whole playing house but something seems off, Victor's inner fits of monologue occasionally completely going off-rails and showing how lost in his head he tends to get. How his brain switches focus between topics constantly before snapping back to reality and vice versa.

Conflicted in everything. At times, he appears as if he's pleading with you, below you as loyal as a guard dog. At others he appears above you, pulling your strings with sheer authority and nothing else.

The whole turmoil of deciding to let Reader die a natural death, to be selfish and never allow them into the Kains grand scheme of immortality, to know you'll only exist by his side before your soul is lost to the cosmos forever.

I avoided bringing Nina by name but her presence is heavy in each line of the story. How much he would let you hurt him and others as much as you want like she used to do, how he lets your sins slide and sweeps your wrongs under the rug. How he clings to your mortality because part of his resents humanity for taking his wife away, for stealing his own life and future away.

The whole wings and feather symbolism. Immortality is the wings the Kains are sewing together one thread at a time, each feather plucked being a brilliant person's soul. That eventually, maybe they too will ascend past the larva stage and be able to live freely with no fear of death much like Icarus flew above the seas without regards to his father's words. They're flying straight into the sun and they mistake its blazing fire for the heavens above.

His little dove petname fitting perfectly with the Icarus symbolism, with you being a beautiful bird he wants to keep caged in the mortal real out of selfishness, out of the desire to finally call someone his own. All his life he has give for the future of humanity, both his wife and two kids turned into chess pieces to be sacrificed in times of need.

And that's fine that's okay. He can handle it. His family may belong to the future, they may belong to mankind and the utopia they're slowly shaping. He is strong and pragmatic, he can more than understand why heavy costs and live with the consequences. He will carry that burden of guilt indefinitely.

But you, oh you.... He won't allow it. You have to slip away from their clutches, from his own sharp claws. You won't belong to the future, you will belong to the present forever with him, forever to him.

I enjoyed writing it so much. I started as Headcanons but the words piled up and the sentences started weaving themselves on their own. It was so beautiful, I didn't have the heart to trim the growth and force it back into the headcanons mould, so i let it blossom into a full story even if it meant more work.

Headcanons are usually effortless, stories are not. I had several open tabs by the end of writing it searching for various idoms, symbolism and word synonyms. Looking through Victor's qoute then remembering the latin endearment term for dove.

I really wanted to paint the picture of how he makes loving you a form of self-flagellation, but I had to keep the message subtle so it shows how well he hides it. How on the surface you can easily mistake his infatuation for any adoring partner, but deep down he's completely unstable behind the calculated hardened face. I'd argue that he was as crazy as Nina if not even more. He just happened to be better at hiding it. It was an elaborate plan for him to play the role of the reliable soft-hearted self-sacrificing leader to win people's favour, to paint the Kains in an angelic light so their women may be as cruel as their hearts desire.

Again, thank you for leaving such a sweet message afterwards. People rarely do, you get accustomed to fulfilling requests then throwing your writing into the ocean after posting it. The reblogs and likes are good and all but I just want to hear another human's words at times you know? Another soul's opinion, something that proves that this exists and was read by an actual person rather than a number counter going up.

Although oh my god you read THAT Minthara fic?? A beautiful webbing?? IT'S ONE OF MY MOST PROUD WORKS! One of my most ambitious too! The descriptive scenery in that fic took a lifetime out of me, so much blood and tears poured onto the layout of the garden, of the sussur tree and blood rose. Writing it felt like my magnum opus at the time, although now I'd say Lingum Vitea holds the spot for the amount of Latin I had to research for that Burakhovsky fic.

I'm so glad you liked that fic! They're my favourite children <333 I like the rest too but sometimes I write things purely out of passion and they shine brighter than the rest in my eyes.

You've already started your P2 playthrough hell yeah! I hope it goes well and it's fun! I actually missed the apple basket gang meeting too in my playthrough- I thought it was scripted to be missed because it directly coincident with the Bachelor calling people to town hall and proclaiming quarantine so I thought oh, it must be cancelled duh! I didn't realise you could still walk to it ah-

You can never have too much eggs, trust me.

Being a trader hoarder is good! you'll eventually learn which people overpay for which items and look out for them. Usually trading is rng depent on which npc you meet on the road to your current mission because straying from the path means losing precious time.

Good for beating bloodborne and going on ng+! Hell yeah! I've never played it but it seems hard bc of the parries and no shield. I miss my shield in ds3 :( During the end of the game, my brother was watching me play and he tricked me into going to the end boss unprepared. He claimed it was just another npc for a quest and I didn't know it was the end boss bc I didn't watch anything about dark souls before playing it- I just walked to the soul of cinder all like "omfg hiii bestiee :3 " then got stabbed.

BUT I FUCKING BEAT HIM IN ONE TRY! EVEN WHEN I WAS TRICKED AND ALMOST DIED. I managed to clutch with my trustyyyy shieellldd.

But also I died to that weird balls tree 90+

I am not exaggerating, I genuinely couldn't handle that lame mini boss tree. I killee the abyss watchers in two tries and the soul of cinder in one but a fucking tree is responsible for 70% of my deaths through all of the game.

I'm celebrating my birthday today. it's not going well but at least I have a lot of cake and will buy myself flowers in an hour after the shops open. I got cheesecake! I love cheesecake! I think Yulia would like cheesecake or is she more of a dark chocolate person? I still have your request for her nsfw hc so don't worry it wasn't swallowed by tumblr.

Honestly I can't believe I'm the only pathologic x reader blog- Seems almost blasphemous tbh. I hope more pop up in the future, this fandom is surprisingly chill and nice. Especially for such a hardcore game.

I hope your day is amazing <3

Oh and I did receive your froggy chair submission! I just wasn't sure whether to reply to it publicly or not in case you wanted to stay anonymous to others on this blog. I'm glad you liked the meme I threw together and my other memes on this blog hehe. I like making them, it's like visual storytelling.

[katyspersonal]

I've had that strange dream over two years ago, that there was a large egg and people believed a white dragon would hatch from it, including me. But turned out that instead some strange creature hatched, it was a kind of a bear but bigger and monstrous, and with armors and spikes basically built into it. Could pass for a pоkemon tbh.

And everyone was scared of it a lot, saying that unfortunately confusing eggs of this type of monster for the noble dragon ones was a reoccurring mistake. I remember there was a lot of hatred, whispering and advising to stay away from it, or killing it before it could kill anyone else. I remember being scared too, but I wanted to give it a chance for.. I didn't know what, exactly. I just decided to stick around despite risk of being killed and eaten by it, as this type was known for "biting the hand that feeds it" as they called it. I recall struggling with it sometimes, and how much other people feared and hated me seeing me walk with it by my side so casually, how everyone kept running away and if they tried to kill us, it would defend us. But above all what struck was when at some point, the way I was guiding ended at the staircase to the rooftop that seemed to be abnormally large, because when the beast got up there it turned into a regular bear. Like, just normal bear. Animal. Without any features of the alien monster or anything. And all aggression was gone from it! It just ran off to live with various other (also normal) animals, and I just let it go and woke up right after.

I always wondered what that dream meant, and especially recently. Most of other animals at the "rooftop" were herbivores and yet I knew predators, including this bear, would not need to eat other animals, or be otherwise burdened by vital needs in this place. Sounds like Heaven. But I also wondered if that dream was representing him.. He associated his image with a white dragon earlier in life, before society grinded him and threw away what was left to die; something I did not know at the time I saw that dream. Heck, when I saw that dream I did not even know as much as that almost year later they'd come to lynch us for the """awful sin""" of association, let alone this! And the last time I saw him, he was very normal. Just... so peaceful, so healthy, all of a sudden. Just chatting about his interest with the new friends/audience that suddenly appeared. No more hostility, no more hatred or pain.. something I also selfishly didn't want to see, because in turn he boasted about how easily he forgot me, like it all was just a bad dream. It seems unrealistic that I of all people somehow played role in "guiding" him to happiness. According to him, I was only holding him back and stressing him out.. but if I've learned anything, is that sometimes the real meaning of events is not instantly obvious, or nobody might even learn the truth in their whole life.

After all I was only guiding the way, nothing in the dream implied shared happiness. The way it was weirdly prophetic sure makes me paranoid. Especially how I did not go to "Heaven" too. What did happen was the sense of completing the 'task' and being free now. I don't know what my job in this life is, exactly, but it is 100% not 'being happy'. When I feel safe and alive, I know that very soon something I can not control or prevent will destroy this light. Though if this is true and my purpose is to just "show the way", even if not knowingly, instead of having my own, I'd be happy. All better than being useless.

[f1nalboys]

Peacemaker S1 Ep5 Monkey Dory (last episode for the night 🙏) @tinalbion

-giggles :3

-ugh him drinking the eggs

-worst trope ever

-eagley :((( he’s so worried abt chris

-he looks so fucking pathetic uhm…. guys…. 😼 SORRY

-NOOOOOOO eagley brought him a squirrel to eat to feel better :(

-noooo this episode is gonna be so sad i can feel it

-ADRIANANNNN

-sorry

-“they go in through the butt??” JFJEIDNDJD

-superman w the poop fetish 😭😭

-now that we know murn is a butterfly im confused as to why the rest of them don’t know

-but i get it

-NO RHE EXPLOSION IN THE POWERPONTISIDJSIJD economous is so me

-HIM NAMING ALL THE PEOPLEKDJWINDJSBX

-“the fucking cunts from riverdale”

-ADRIAN ANSWERING THR RHETORICAL QUESTIDONCKSNX

-“fargos on tonight” ofc he watches fargo

-he’s so baby girl!!!

-“nice penmanship asshole and fargos not on till tomorrow night you fucking nerd” followed by adrian’s laughter JFJSJDJDJ

-larry is sexy

-ugh. i hate his dad

-leota defending economous <3

-“i didn’t care bc i don’t have emotions like other people do” when he clearly has shown multiple emotions like ok

-“i got bullied too” “how” “by the other kids calling me a bully all the time, saying i was abusive” SHIT UPPPPPP

-they’re finger printing what’s his face

-can they just lie and say he did it anyways

-also fuck larry is. sorry i just love a good silver fox dad bod man

-hehe i love that he loves glam rocks

-they’re bondinggggg :3

-me starting a show: i jsut want everyone to be friends :D

-has he been a butterfly this whole time? like even when he was back doing whatever?

-“evan you fucking pussy!” JFNSODNISHD

-“i finger bang you, i’m not using my pinky” IFNWOFNISD good point king!

-“i forgot women had fingers” IFKOWNCSIND

-stop this shows humor is nailing it for me tbh

-“UGH FUCK i’m never ever gonna kill someone with a chainsaw it’s so not fair” adrian u can kill me w the chainsaw. ok???

-chris and leota r my fave friendship actuslly like idk why but they bounce off of each other really rlly well

-JFNWONFJD

-LEOTA SHOOTING EACH PERSON AGTER CHRIS KILLS RHEM SHES JUST LIKE ME

-ok i’m eating breakfast so who knows how much i’ll type as i watch

-show me some fighting 🗣️🗣️

-why didn’t they just blow this place up

-YESSS BUTTERFLY FIGHTING LETS GO

-who the hell is charlie

-is that the like major guy that’s giving them the stuff

-OH EHAT THE FUCK

-“idk i invented it this morning” he’s smart

-EAT PEACE MOTHER FUCKERS

-poor economous just having to watch :(

-THE GORILLA

-HDJSJCKSKJDS

-IM LAUDHISICIWBDIS

-all of them fucking this gorilla up together <3 teamwork babey

-YESSS

-ENONOMOUS CAME IN W THE CHAINSAW LETS GOOO

-ALL OF THRN HAVING FUN TOGETHER IN THE CARTRRT

-🥹 they just mean a lot to me guys

-all of them dancing 🥹🥹

-WAHHHH HARCOURT TAKING A PIC OF THEN :,)

-HEHEHHEHEEH

-the guy who agreed to help murn is making sure chris’ dad stays in jail 🙏🙏

- ew not him trying to gaslight my queen 🙄🙄

-go get larry and get his ass

-“so we can assume butterflies can use any life form as a host” “chihuahua? :D” “probably wouldn’t fit” “would be cool tho!! :3” adrian chase. i have feelings for you. major ones.

-everyone being mean to adrian he’s just silly guys!!!

-he’s not a thimble

-“we can trust him” “what’s his name” “judy” “JUDGE JUDY???”

1

-“we can trust him!” “so you’ve said” “and plus he’s my uncle” “😳” Hhehehehehe

-WAHHHHH

-HARVOURT MAdE A GC FOR THEM

-NAMED 11TH STREET KIDS

-IM SOBBINGGGGGG

-there’s 11 minutes left in sad

-adrian using the merman emoji hehehe

-“he says it means happy sad and everything in between” WAHHHHH

-:,) he wants to hang out w JFNWKNFKWNFJD

-sorry he wants to hang w leota and she goes “are you trying to fuck me but claiming ur dicks a lesbian or something” JDNSKNFJS

-he framed his first newspaper article about himself.

-guys i’m crying now.

-ok had to pause to send a video crying abt this to tati i don’t wanna play it i don’t want them to be sad

-her almost throwinf the drink up HFJSIJDJRJRJ

-they’re having a beer together :3

-LEOTA HELPING HIM W HARCOURTJSIFNIE

-oh i’m giggling

-“don’t talk about her tits or her pussy” “yeah but…what abt when we’re fucking” STOP ITTTT

-john cena plays christopher smith so we’ll it pisses me off

-“you really aren’t a bad guy. you just use being s fuck as a way to push people away, but if you would just take second and just drop that and be Chris Smith, i think people actuslly might like you” WAHHHHHH

-THEYRE BESTIESSSSSS

-“i just never had this before” “what?” “this, you, you know, giving me advice and having my back” SHES HIS FIRST FRIEND GUYS WAHHH

-I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY IM SO SCARED

-him crying :(

-leota still planting his diary :(

-NOOOOOOO

-her voicemail to her wife :(

-OH NO

-oh no

-FUCK. she’s using chris’ helmet and she’s gonna see that he’s a fucking butterfly FUCKKKKK

-LEOTA IM SO SCARED FKR HER

-NO

-LEOTA GET THE FUCK OUT GHERE

-OH MO OH NO OH NO

- THATS HOW THE EPISODE ENDS

-WHAT THE GUVK

-i was gonna stop after this episode but i have to start the next one i jsut have to

-end credits

-THE NAME DROPPSSSS STJDISJDNKWNFKS

-silly end credits

OK THOUGHTS ON THID EPISODE: holy fuck! just!!!! OMGGGGG i love leota and i love her bonding w chris (even tho she still put his journal there :/) but FUCK I KNOW SHE DOESNT DIE BC ID BE PISSED BUT NOW I HAVE TO WATCH EP6 TOO

its 6 am so i’m a little tired but my god ALSO harcourt has officially grown on me see i just needed her to get away from that ‘strong girl doesn’t like girl stuff or other people’ thing, strong women r allowed to have friendships and close bonds and stuff !!! and now i lowkey ship her and chris -_- annoying i know hehe

anyways episode 6 time

[unfilteredrealities]

I’m alive update

Life is bleh , ups and downs as usual.

My psoriasis is currently fucking me up and the lovely (not lovely) R.A and the PsA as well. WHYYYY THE FUCK is only my ring finger from my right hand fucked with psoriasis and my pointing, middle and ring toe as well but the rest of the toes and fingers are fine????

Not speaking of the normal patches I have on my legs currently those are normal by now bcs I get them since I am 2yo so nothing new.

Oh and the psoriasis thought it’s fun to flare up on my forehead as well and my left eyelid and left under eye??? wtf bro 😭

I had to go some days ago to the work health department for my annual check if I am fit to work and the lady gave me the ok but I had to tell her about my diagnoses since last year and ugh she was asking me if I’m seeing a dermatologist for my psoriasis and my psoriatic arthritis and I was like lady I have this shit since I am 2 , let me live don’t give me advice, I don’t need any rn I am in active audhd burnout so shh just give me that damn paper and let me go 😭

In other news I’m apparently very competent at my job , that much that I got chosen along the teamleaders to do this one training and I’m scared and hope I won’t fuck up bcs my imposter syndrome is like u bet ur smart press x for doubt 🧐

Anyway so work goes well I suppose, so far no complaints by the higher ups

Besides of all that my depression is strong and I actively feel suicidal again but I’m pushing through out of spite and yeah the naive hope that it will get better or I will have again better days with less flare ups and chronic issues going on

I’m actively ignoring certain things rn (cleaning my depression room) and it is stressing me out but I’m ignoring it bcs it’s so much work and I am ashamed to ask for help or admit I need help :)) it feels like barb wire around my throat

My tooth hurts bcs I have bruxism and I grind my teeth and I had a very subconsciously exhausting week in my sleep that I ground my teeth so hard it made my jaw tense up badly and almost lock up :))

Sigh, I miss my cat so much 😭 I am still mourning him 💔 😞 fuck severe renal insufficiency and not showing symptoms until it’s too late

Positive things are that my bf has a Nintendo Switch lite and Animal Crossing new horizons and we are both playing and visiting our islands and he keeps me cute notes each time he visited my island and me too on his , that I am almost 4 years handling this job and I didn’t have a proper mental breakdown yet or a meltdown, i was social lately and went to the baptism of a former classmate/ a friend of mines child and i met other former classmates there and we talked , I got out of my comfort zone and some days later visited former classmate at her home and it was wild but it was good.

Oh I forgot to mention about how big my urge to sh is again and I fucking hate it , plus I randomly found the kinder suprise egg where my blades are inside :)) my mom thought she hid them well, well hiding them in the closet where the board games are , wasn’t too smart.

Anyway I’m still going strong on like 4 years of no sh

Another dopamine moment was me getting myself as a Christmas present the Apple Watch SE 2024!!! I found it reduced at 200 euros when normally it’s like almost 300 euros

It’s so fancy and I’m glad I can Monitore my health better now bcs my old watch the Xiaomi Mi Band 7 kinda sucked at the end and stopped working properly so it was time to move on. At this point I’m getting slowly corrupted by Apple tbh 🤣 First it was the 2nd hand iPad and the Apple pen , then the iPhone and now the Apple Watch gg

These days I am hitting my word limit faster than normal and it sucks especially if u work in customer support for a bank and u have around 60 calls a day and you have to force yourself to speak even if you start to stutter and to speak monotone and all that

I’m sorry for this huge ramble update

Hope you guys enjoy me yapping and being raw about how life is raw dogging me 😭

If you read till here I guess rate my yapping or leave me a life update from your life ❤️

Thanks for reading through this!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HOW IS IT OVER THERE?? Hopefully the weather’s treating you well in Switzerland!

Also DOG PERSON KARASU Lowk I can also see it…I was not expecting that breed though lowk LMAO I also thought it was a spaniel of sorts but?? I’m just gonna trust whoever made the post bc I mean the visuals aren’t insanely detailed either so…ok but trench coat Karasu >>>>> Lowk I saw people hating on the tan and I’m like that’s not what I’m complaining about LMFAO maybe people got too used to the blue???

Them matching the dogs with their teams is sooo cute but also a funny Easter egg for those who don’t read!! Ok but ummmm tabieitaken WHERES THE EITA??? I’m ngl I’m a little surprised Reo is there since he’s not as pivotal to the third selection but maybe it’s a marketing moment….

Ok and definitely like hey…shit talking is Lowk necessary….like I kinda use it as a way to like warn friends of red flags or bad people….i agree in moderation though LMAO like people who shit on others for no reason <<<<

I’m ngl o completely forgot what I wrote before and when I started reading abt yuki I thought you meant Yukimiya and was astronomically lost but I GET IT NOW!!’ But FR she literally was on campus for like 5 min and had already been like no contact with the school for so long like what???

Omfg the “you have 13 minutes before I kill you” is SO. BAROU!!! Like the epitome of Barou if you ever decide to write something like this I’m advocating for this line to make the cut!!!

LMFAOOOO IBS ALLEGATIONS IM CRYING BUT FR!!! I wonder what he’d do to get Barou to go on a date or if he’d even bother approaching Rin LMAOO something about yuki comically losing his shit has me giggling

Omg NOOO thats actually the worst!! Manifesting that your bc adjusting period speeds up right about now!!!! And I hope you didn’t have to go through motion sickness for the whole like 8 hours but at least now you can get some fresh air!! Was there a lot of turbulence or is it just kinda a plane sickness sort of thing? Either way hoping it isn’t as bad on your return flight! I’m trying to think of some nausea remedies….I think the fastest one ik of is ginger based items (courtesy of a friend who shoved a bunch of ginger candies in my hand one day LMAO)…ofc I think walking around lightly helps too!

- Karasu anon

it’s super super nice out!! i just took a shower and a nap as well as ate something substantial and i’m feeling much better now thankfully as well 😄 the place we’re staying doesn’t have air conditioning but it’s not miserably hot and it gets cold at night so we’re just going to open windows and vibe hehe…luckily everywhere we’re going in france + the two days we’re in italy we’ll have AC because it’s really really hot there according to the weather app 😭

I LOVE KARASU’S FIT he looks so handsome and put together it’s giving me 30s noir film vibes in the best way…tbh the tan >>>> the blue i think the blue is too bright at least in the colored illustrations!! also yes i can totally see him liking dogs he just gives me secret animal lover vibes in general…bruh actually so true where IS otoya?? maybe it’s payback for how majestic and detailed of a shot he got in the trailer compared to 90% of the characters HFKSJSAHFKS

there’s def a difference between being a bully and just saying what needs to be said!! and also too it’s all abt what you choose to say/make fun of if that makes sense LMAO

no every time i write yuki i have to put sm context around it to clarify which one i mean…help but imagine yukimiya and geto meeting through gojo and mrs l/n 😭 atp yukimiya is an honorary pi character so he’s basically in jjk already which means essentially he IS the reason why geto had his downfall 🥱 /j

YESSS i just think that would be the funniest dynamic with barou…like almost a reverse fwtkac karasu and reader?? where barou is legitimately tweaking out over every little thing and reader is just in love with him but he has 0 clue and thinks she’s his arch-nemesis 😫 bro watches the dark knight every time before he goes to her house just to hype himself up meanwhile reader is twiddling her thumbs and kicking her feet waiting for him 🤩 normally i don’t like writing an mc who likes her love interest more than he likes her but truly with barou’s personality this is the best way i can imagine it

rin hiori and niko i feel like he wouldn’t ask because they’re much younger (15/16 compared to karasu and yuki being 18) but omg imagine he convinces barou to go bowling with him and then reader (who can’t bowl) shows up and it’s genuinely barou’s final straw 😓 the real reason he didn’t play in the game against pxg is because snuffy was terrified barou might actually murder karasu JFHSKKS (loki did NOT gaf either way but yk snuffy has to be a #responsibleadult) 😟 pls the thought of yukimiya going apeshit cracks me up too but honestly it’s what he deserves 😔

luckily i’m finally doing better!! i think my mother might’ve brought ginger gum with her so i’ll probably ask her for some for the flight home just in case…thankfully i actually wasn’t terribly nauseous on the plane it was just before and afterwards?? 🤔 idk HAHAHA but at least it’s gone now 😪

[epersonae]

For random asks: fibonacci numbers :3

Friend, I love you, and I can't believe you're making me look up the goddamn fibonacci sequence. (Which I feel like I should be able to work out on my own but fuckit)

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

First three from the little notebook that I keep next to my couch: Strange New Worlds (started but haven't finished), Abbott Elementary, Derry Girls

3. Do you like smoothies?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't hate them, but I also sort of associate them with the before-beforetimes, which is not great, and also I don't own a blender. (I used to! And then I loaned it to Ryn to take to work at the eldercare place, and then Ryn quit and forgot to take it with them. And clearly I don't use a blender that much, because that was more than two years ago.)

5. How do you like your eggs?

Scrambled, with salt and pepper, or in an omelet. (or tbh: Starbucks sausage egg muffin, or McDonalds biscuit with sausage and egg)

8. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

I feel like I have several tiny collections: enamel pins, dice (weird dice in particular, altho I haven't added to that collection in a while), squishmallows (mostly inherited), vinyl records (ditto, altho I've been gradually adding to it); I have a little bit remaining of what used to be an extensive Lego collection (most of which I left behind). The thing I feel like I'm most deliberate about collecting is probably art, especially from friends. I LOVE getting friend art. (I have art from several mutuals in my house!) I also love curating and displaying it in my space, doing the whole color/shape/theme arranging thing. It makes me very happy.

13. Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

I used to be particular about my pens, and then I took this architectural design summer class like 10 years ago and got really into writing with pencil, and now that's my favorite. I got one of these a few years ago at a museum gift shop and fell in love, and then discovered that a bookstore downtown carries them, and now I am a person who has a favorite pencil.

21. What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Like with trees, I have MANY favorites, but I will say that I imprinted like a tiny baby duck on the Impressionists when I was 9 going on 10 and there was a HUGE exhibit at the LA County Museum of Art. I was obsessed with the Monet haystacks, and with this specific Van Gogh (somewhere I still have a postcard that I got in the gift shop!)

34. Can you read analog clocks?

So yes, of course, because I am An Old, but I do have a funny story about that, which is that there was a clock in the office at my last job, that a former employee (who later ended up being my boss, you know the guy I mean) had covered all the numbers with the wrong numbers, and we all just kinda got used to it. Like, he had left before I even got there, and it was still like that when we left the office when the pandemic started almost 8 years later, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's still like that. (I even replaced the battery on it twice, I think.)

[50 questions just because]

[theotherredeyedmaster]

((@pallxtchamp))

"Green, can I have a moment?" Fire awkwardly held out the Larvitar egg in his care, presenting it to Green. "You raised a Tyranitar, if I remember that right?"