#I admit I don't know much about how tumblr is coded

[findroleplay]

hi can we please make it a rule not to use special font (smallfont, cursive, etc.) for ENTRIRE ad? the one posted earlier is completely unreadable to my screen reader.

Would you mind linking the post or something like that? I don't really remember any post with unusual fonts. If you mean smallfont and cursive bulilt-in on Tumblr, it should be read without issues like other Tumblr fonts, no? It's not a third-party app. Do people using screen readers have this issue or is something up on anon's end?

[milehighmegs]

On the Subject of Fandoms: A Love Letter

So, I'm old. Well, oldER. I haven't entered the twilight of my years by any stretch, but once I entered that midlife wistful state of nostalgia, I knew that I had very likely reached the point at which it would be more past than future. And ya know, that's ok. I made peace with my mortality long ago. I don't fear death, I fear not living before I die.

So what's that got to do with fandoms? you may be asking. Fair enough. Here's what it's got to do with fandoms:

Before it was even a term, before I could do multiplication or write my name in cursive (I told you I'm old), I was part of a fandom and didn't even know it. My parents watched 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' when it was still on primetime; we even recorded the final episode on VHS and had it for years. (I told you, I'M OLD.) It was so incredibly formative for me that it's become part of my identity, part of my moral & ethical code, part of my personality. Is that ridiculous? Dramatic? Maybe even a bit of hubris? Perhaps. But it's true, nonetheless.

I've since joined other fandoms, of movie franchises (namely the MCU), TV shows (like Good Omens), and musicians (I'm a die-hard metalhead) over the course of my life, each of them creating/inhabiting a different part of what makes me ME. Though I've always remained the same basic person at my core (a decent one at least if not a good one, I hope), being a part of these fandoms has shaped the foundations of how I live my life, and how I've LIVED my life.

Being on the proverbial back nine of my earthly existence, looking back at what's come before, at how far I've come and all the things I've fucked up or gotten right, questioned, accepted, regretted, cherished... so much of that is filled with moments like, 'what would Captain Picard do? How would the Avengers handle this? Which Slipknot song would be most comforting right now?' With the explosion of semi-social media sites (like tumblr here, and its gateway drug, Pinterest), I've been able to dive even deeper into the fandom. The fic, the art, the theories & analyses... it turns my appreciation for all these things I love to 11. But it wouldn't be possible without the most critical element: the fans.

Because people have such a love for, and identify so strongly with the stories & characters of their respective fandoms, they go deep into hidden meanings, major themes, & what they imagine these stories would be like if they were able to direct the action. More than anything, what I love about fanfic/fanart is that while yes, we're creating what we want for the characters, it's more a reflection of what we want for ourselves, both in the same situation as the characters and in life in general. For example, I see SO MUCH art/fic of Crowley & Aziraphale being open & free in showing their love for each other. I see so many stories of them making up and living happily ever after. The art ranges from sweet & adorable to... ah... adult-themed, but the vast majority of the latter is passionate, tender, & clearly loving; rarely is it straight-up raunchy. Smutty? Totally. Raunchy? Not so much. And why? Because we know these two are IN LURVE, not just in lust. And we want what they (clearly) have, even if they can't admit it to one another. We, the fans, can live vicariously through these characters and these worlds, and there we can find what we're looking for.

I've had a rollercoaster of a life, emotionally speaking, especially in matters of romantic love, and much of that hasn't been pleasant. I've done so much soul-searching, shadow work, self-care and all that whathaveyou, but none of it- NONE of it- has come anywhere near to being as insightful as the fan-based art & analyses of the relationship between Crowley & Zira. I have spent the vast majority of the last week thinking about it, writing about it, going over & over how it applies to my life & experiences, and I gotta say... none of it would be possible without the remarkable Good Omens fandom. So seriously, thank you. THANK YOU. You've helped to make me a better person. You've helped to make me look back on my life, smile, and turn around... to look forward to what comes next.

Keep up the incredible work, creators. You never know whose life you could be saving.

[necrotic-nephilim]

what are your favourite batcest ships and why?

AAA i love this question so much. i'm going to limit myself to a top five, because otherwise, i'd just end up listing all of them. the true joy of batcest is they're all so good for such different reasons and there are so many unique dynamics you can explore.

JayTim - it's funny bc, before i started this blog, i don't know if i would've put these two losers as my number one. but because i've done so much deep diving into their dynamic and i write them the most, i think it'd be a disservice for them to be anything *but* number one. their canon dynamic is just. so fun to play with. i truly love all of their interactions, particularly pre-Flashpoint. the concepts of Tim holding such contempt for Jason while Jason is weirdly obsessed with Tim. i'm a fan of Hannibal and Killing Eve and well. if this isn't a Hannigram-coded ship idk *what* is. i like ships where love and hate co-exist and there's no real "happily ever after", just fucked up co-existing, where they crawl back to each other like a bad habit and really, this ship is that so perfectly. the themes of jealousy in the Robin mantle. Tim wearing Jason's Red Robin suit to punish himself. i will likely never shut up about them. even in the New-52, there's such a substance to them, though the dynamic is wildly different. they will always be so weirdly dependent on each other's existence. i love them.

BruDick - you can't outdo the doer, i fear. i think i like BruDick mostly for the history of it, yk. there's genuinely *so much* queer history seeped into the homoeroticism of Batman and Robin, these two have been a symbol for queer people for decades. but the ship itself has so many dynamics i love. problematic age gap, "are we family or lovers", "i can't be in a room alone with you without getting into a screaming match but if you called i drop everything for you". all of it. i especially favor 80s/90s BruDick when they were in their divorce era just because it's so messy. Dick has canonically said he would die for Bruce, even during their arguments. no matter what, these two will always be single-mindedly devoted to each other. there will be other Robins, but none of them will compare to Dick Grayson, for Bruce. it's a unique and complicated bond that has endless layers to peel back. they always crawl back to each other bc no one else will match their level of intensity.

DamiTim - years and years ago, when i was a teen trying to people-please with how i existed in fandom, i used to insist i didn't like batcest and found it icky and gross. but there was one DamiTim fic that was my exception. that fic was my fucking roman empire. i reread it like once a year even though it's not completed and likely never will be i do not care. so now that i've killed the morality police in my head and i let myself ship what i actually want to ship, this ship holds a top place in my heart just bc of that fic alone. but in general i do fucking love their dynamic. similar to JayTim there's just so much mutual hatred in these two that has endless potential. Damian's insistence to not see Tim as a Wayne and as a legitimate brother/heir to Bruce is something you can play a lot if you give Damian an angry, fucked up crush on Tim he doesn't want to admit to. they have so many reasons to dislike each other, so to try to get them to slowly fall in love is a fun challenge. they either have a long complicated forgiveness arc and end up a happy married couple or they are the couple that tries to kill each other once a week. no in-between.

JeanTim - there's like. one person here on tumblr who goes as hard for this ship as i do and truly god bless them bc they feed me. Jean-Paul is too underrated in the batcest scene. once i reread Knightfall, i will have to help popular this tag on ao3. i enjoy both a very fucked up version of this ship during the peak of the Knightfall arc, where Jean-Paul is deep in his murder Batman era and Tim is trying to stop him to no real avail, but i *also* think there's so much you can do with the ship afterwards, where Jean-Paul is trying to make up for what he's done and be a better person and better hero. they're the peak Batman/Robin ship, to me. they truly care about each other, but have a very complicated/bloody history and i just. man i love it so dearly. i've been meaning to write a fic where Jean-Paul goes to Tim post the Sword of Azrael (2022) arc to properly discuss and apologize for all his actions in Knightfall for his personal healing and they end up fucking. it could be sweet and cute or kinky fun bc what is the joy of a character with that much Catholic guilt if you don't give them a weird religious kink.

BruCarrie - The Dark Knight Returns got me into comics and i will defend it till the day i die. Carrie Kelley can be pried from my cold dead hands. i just really love these two? Carrie took one look at that cranky old bastard and decided she was his problem. and Bruce is at a stage where he should be very averse to the idea of having a Robin, he knows it's a bad idea. but he just. accepts her anyway. idk how to explain their dynamic other than she plunks herself in his lap and stitches up his wounds while telling him he's an idiot and he lets her even if he's grumbling about it. they have the biggest age gap of any Batman/Robin ship and for that, they should get like. a dead dove gold star no matter how rare the pair is.

also honorable mention goes to BruTim, because *god* do i love the concept of Tim offering himself up to Bruce as Robin in every way, knowing that there are likely sexual/romantic implications to being Robin. it's one of my favorite flavors of batcest to exist. i don't view them as a "happily ever after" ship, because Bruce will always go back home to Dick, but it's a fun lil dead dove moment.

[peggingeddiediaz]

I've read so much bucktommy tumblr posts and ao3 fics that I'm done with buddie. Maybe you should read some and be done with it too. It's ok to admit when you're wrong.

I don't ship buddie because Buck and Eddie are hot together. I ship them because they complement each other.

Buck has always been searching for a family, for stability, for someone to love, for someone to stay, for someone to love him completely and for someone to accept his love.

Eddie, has been stuck trying to take care of everybody, carry out their plans for him, always sacrificing himself for others, never allowing himself to get what he wants without feeling guilty, unable to express his emotions freely, reluctant to ask for help.

You know what’s the beauty of buddie, even as just friends? That in the first 3 episodes of season 2, the buddie dynamic was already stablished and it gave us so much characterization. Buck, wanting to be supportive, helped Eddie out by introducing him to Carla, checking in with Bobby so that Chris could stay at the station, driving Eddie to pick up Chris after the earthquake. And Eddie, who wouldn’t normally ask for help, not only accepts it but allows Buck to continue to take care of him and Chris.

Now compare all that characterization across 7 seasons, 7 years that we got to know these characters vs 5 scenes with Tommy... You can't tell me you give up on buddie after 4 episodes with a new character whose storyline could barely fill a paragraph and be taken seriously.

Like it's ok to admit you only wanted to see Oliver kiss a man and that's it. That's fine, but miss me with all this superiority complex with shipping bucktommy.

Yeah, you guys wrote 3000 fics and innumerable posts on tumblr filled to the brim with *check notes* tropey headcanon on top of horny headcanons, gender roles, and once again buck getting female coded with stereotypical bottom tropes. Fanon buddie bore me before, and I’m already done with fanon bucktommy aka Tommy “might as well be an OC” Kinard and Evan “self insert” Buckley.

 Every single previous female love interest of Buck had more characterization than Tommy, but somehow *cough* misogyny *cough* Tommy has this insane fan support behind him by his 4th appearance. I wonder why?

I don't hate Tommy or the ship, but I'm sorry, he is not a fleshed out character, you guys just love how plain he is (so the headcanons are easier to apply) and how hot Lou is, because where was all this energy and push for a love interest to stay in the show, for any of the previous female love interests??? 

All this talk about how perfect the relationship is but when Natalia and Buck, who also had the same amount of scenes and development by her 3rd/4th episode, no one was rooting for her to stay.

[kitkatt0430]

So big shout out to SquidgeWorld for the news update acknowledging and encouraging the use of the tilde relationship identifier for queerplatonic ships!!!

I actually had a bit of a hand in how this one came about, which is pretty fun. (Story time!)

So a few years ago the Character A ~ Character B format was introduced over here on tumblr to represent QPRs. There is a post I know I rebloged a few times buried on my main somewhere about this and I'll have to try to remember to dig that up later. And there was bit of a push to try and get Ao3 to officially acknowledge the tilde or at least for those of us who write fic there start using it in tagging regardless of official acknowledgement and see what happened. And, well, what largely seems to have happened is that the tag wranglers have let us use the tilde, but there's been no official acknowledgement as the Tag Wrangling page for relationships on Ao3 still only discusses the '&' and '/' identifiers. (If there was anything official said about it elsewhere, sadly I must have missed it.)

I started using the tilde... two years ago? I think? And went back to update some of my existing fics to add in ship tags with the tilde. I still made sure to keep the Queerplatonic Relationship tags because those are still the best way to find fics that have QPRs included in them. And I've seen a few others using the '~' out in the wild, but discussion about it kind of faded again. If you knew, you knew. And if you didn't... there was always that Queerplatonic Relationship tag.

Then, about a year ago, I signed up for SquidgeWorld. I'd never heard of it before (which is likely because I'm just not super active in fandom outside the niche I've carved for myself; I admit, I am a bit under a rock at times...) but Squidge been around in one form or another since 1994. One of the fanfic authors I followed was moving their works there and so I followed and did what I always do on new sites I'm curious about - I lurked.

Fast forward to more recently. Fanfiction.net that I've been loyally using as my backup fic location for years after leaving it as my main fanfic archive... it's getting buggier and more unstable by the year. I don't intend to pull my fanfiction off it - I will leave what's on there up until the site collapses in on itself - but the day is coming ever nearer that the bugs and lack of tagging updates will finally make cross-posting there entirely too much of a hassle. And much as I love Ao3, I don't like the idea of only having all my fanfic in one place. I've seen enough archives big and small get destroyed over the years that no matter how stable or permanent Ao3 feels... I'm more comfortable knowing my fic can be found in multiple places. (Of course, the biggest hurdle for getting my fics cross-posted in multiple places is... executive dysfunction.)

I started finally cross-posting to SquidgeWorld recently and honestly just didn't really think too much about it when bringing over fics tagged with the QPR identifier. I just copied over the Character A ~ Character B tags and hit post. :D

But admin-squidgie over there - who I believe is found here on tumblr using @squidgiepdx (hi! Thanks a bunch for the news post!) - asked me about the tilde usage and what that was being used to represent. So I responded with an explanation about how it was a relatively new identifier used because queerplatonic relationships aren't really well represented by romantic or platonic identifiers. And then admin-squidgie got back to me to let me know there'd be a news post soon about this new identifier type. Which was so awesome.

While the wrangling guidelines haven't been updated on SquidgeWorld to note the use of the tilde yet (and could take a while, I know official docs always wind up being the last thing updated), the news post really is a very big deal for those of us who like to write and read queerplatonic ships.

For those of you interested in cross-posting or moving your fanfic to SquidgeWorld, I do recommend the archive. I've lurked long enough to see that the community there is pretty friendly, the interface is a clone of Ao3's so it should be familiar to a lot of you and is easily customized to make it more accessible (or covered in rainbows if you prefer ^_^ ), and (as seen here) the admin over there is open to helping make the archive an inclusive place for all of us.

And with at least one fanfic archive both acknowledging and encouraging the use of the queerplatonic relationship identifier, it'd be nice to see information on that making the rounds here on tumblr again. I bet there are a lot of aspecs who don't know about the identifier but who would be glad to know it exists and start using it themselves.

[super-hero-confessions]

I love Homelander.

I think he's an interesting character but I never get butthurt or complain about whenever someone points out that some of his fans are actual rape apologists or bad actors because I'm confident enough to know I'm not one. (Also there is literally an entire MAGA part of his fans that I feel like people on here forget exists? The ego on some fans to strictly personalize every possible complaint on him and the behavior surrounding him when we know that exists is so crazy. Feeling personally attacked by everything comes from a place of deep insecurity.) Here's the thing though, there are bad actors. There are apologists. Period. We all know it. It doesn't really help to be one of them or deny that they exist because it further stigmatizes a fandom and gives credence to the bad faith purity culture warriors' arguments because you are responding in bad faith. It's like when someone points out there are pedophile priests in the Catholic Church and instead of acknowledging this well known fact and saying, "You know what? I agree and that is awful." and trying to open up a conversation about how to fix the problem, you instead have one side that screams, "WELL NOT ALL CATHOLIC PRIESTS ARE PEDOPHILES!!" and the other screaming, "THIS IS THE PERFECT REASON TO ABOLISH THE CHURCH!".

Okay? Great. Good job Yancy, you cracked the code. Now how does that solve the problem of the priests that are actual pedophiles? They're still around. Still protected. Still hurting kids. They will still be around even if the church goes away because that's not really the problem either. The problem is the mentality that enables them to persist and thrive within the community. The mentality of tribalism. If we take everything as personal attack and reject any possible criticism on the basis of "community", the same issue gets created over and over. An environment that is both hostile to newcomers and comfortable for bad actors who you have just unwittingly provided a defense for by ignoring the argument or complaint put forth. The gravity of apologists in a fandom works to the similar effect if not through direct touch, then to exposure to similar things people do not sign up for (seriously you can get legally sued or brought up on sex offender charges if you aren't careful or reject disclaimers or tags and the wrong person comes across your stuff. That's no joke.) Rape apologia does perpetuate rape culture as an example, and we know this to be true regardless of where it may be. People, even ourselves, are more impressionable than we'd like to admit. So how do we reach that middle ground where we understand that we are not rape apologists, we don't convey ourselves as rape apologists, and are still able to support our horrible favorites? I think that's what these people are asking for and IMO I don't really think it's too much to ask. Bad actors are definitely there and a problem so denying they exist or acting as one (as if the callout was personal) doesn't really help.

I'll be blunt. As an example, too many of the people just here on Tumblr make The Boys fandom look like the most racist, ableist, misogynist, rape apologist fandom out there. Logically, we should know that can't really be true. The show itself has made a point to criticize this sort of thinking and those fans. But just one person is too many and that should be enough for people to step up and try and shut that shit down before it has the chance to grow and get worse. Or at least acknowledge the fact that it does happen without getting salty about it. You can like your favorite villain as much as you want, just don't be one of the bad actors that stigmatizes the fandom and ruins the experience and I promise that not only will other people be much happier and complain less, but you will be too.

Also. For the record. Homelander fans being more deeply insecure than Homelander himself is the true ironic tragedy here.

[whats-she-gonna-post-next]

May I request Snowbugs?? With Tango realizing he likes his ex’s (Jimmy) ex (Scott)?

_____

Ngl, don't know how I messed up the ask thing here... sorry? I think? I'm very bad at Tumblr for someone who has been here 10+ years.

Anyways, I am also sorry this took so long. My brain would not let me write forsome reason e en though I adored this prompt. But here it is! Please enjoy these 854 words that too way too long to write!

---

It was a random Tuesday in the middle of March when Tango realized.

He’d made what he could admit was a less than stellar joke that had somehow manage to catch Scott off guard and causing him to laugh and-

Tango was in trouble.

He could listen to that laugh all day, watch as mirth tugged up his lips, as cool blue eyes turned warm, a knowing sparkle that invited you into the joke-

Tango was in big trouble.

When Tango and Jimmy had broken up, he’d counted himself lucky - though perhaps not entirely unsuprised - that they had remained friends. Jimmy had, after all, a habit of remaining friends with exes. Something that had originally worried Tango at the beginning of their relationship, but was comforting when the two had mutually decided that being together just wasn’t in the cards for them, that no one in their friend group had to choose sides, and that he got to keep the news friends he had made through Jimmy.

Like Scott, who’s laugh was finally calming down, who was shifting, turning to face Tango more fully, causing a beam of sunlight to illuminate his cyan waves, creating a halo of light behind him.

Tango was in such big trouble.

“I’m going to go catch up with Cleo,” his voice is amused as he grins full force at the blond, “before you make me pass out due to lack of oxygen.”

Scott pats his shoulder as he move away from Tango before he could try to pul, himself together enough for a response, leaving him to watch him go, a blush high on his cheeks and his mouth hanging ever so slightly open.

Scott was, in a word, amazing.

Tango had always kinda known that was the case, but it was hitting him suddenly how great he was. He was kind, and funny, and cute, and-

And Jimmy’s ex.

Tango buries his burning face in his hands, a defeated kind of groan pulling itself from the depths of his chest.

“You good there, Tango?” A voice calls, and the moment gets worse, lifting his head to look into soft, sweet brown eyes.

“Hey Jimmy, yeah, I’m- I’m fine, promise.”

“That’s good,” he pauses, staring off into the crowd where Scott that disappeared, “he’s quite pretty, isn’t he?”

Tango jolts like he’s been shocked, staring wide eyed at Jimmy.

“Wh-what- what do you- I mean, like- objectively he- I-“ Tango’s words jumble in his mouth, coming out incomprehensible as the smirk on Jimmy’s face grows. He tries for a few more minutes before sighing, slumping with defeat, “I’m sorry, I know it’s weird.”

“Weird? How so?” Jimmy sounds so confused that for a moment, Tango forgets his reasoning.

“Because… well… he’s your ex? And I’m your ex? And like… isn’t there like… a code or something? That says I shouldn’t even be interested in him?”

Jimmy takes a moment to absorb the words before promptly bursting out laughing. Tango’s face burns a deeper red.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes between laughs, “I don’t mean to laugh it’s just, I forget sometimes, that you’re still pretty new to the group. You don’t know the lore yet.”

“The lore?” Tango asks, vaguely incredulously, “what do you mean *the lore*?”

Jimmy sat down beside him, bumping their shoulders together lightly as the laughter finally tappered off. It’s a familiar gesture, a casual touch that never failed to warm Tango, that Jimmy always used in place of a verbal ‘relax.’

“I really don’t mean to laugh at you,” he reaffirms, “it’s actually really sweet that you are worried about that, but it’s entirely unnecessary. It’s just that pretty much everyone in this group has an ex who’s dated another ex. Hell, it wouldn’t even be the first time one of my exes has dated Scott.”

Tango stares at him, mouth slightly agape. He tried to ask follow up questions , but all that came out of his mouth was a stuttered mess of vowels and consonants that had Jimmy off giggling again.

Eventually they both calmed down again, sitting beside each other in amicable silence for a few moment, catching their breath.

“I do get it,” Jimmy told him after a moment, “the idea of it does go against… a lot of societal norms, but it works for us.”

And in a way, Tango completely gets it. Everyone gets along, there is a general sense of compatibility and comfort. It had taken Tango a good bit of time when he and Jimmy first got together to get used to the general touchy-ness that came with simple hang outs. He could see why the lines might get blurred, how easily people fell together and apart. When he actually put some thought into it, it made sense, in a way.

“Is this your way of saying I have your blessing?” Tango asked, only mostly joking.

Jimmy smiled, soft and genuine, “If that’s what you need to hear, yeah, absolutely you have my blessing.”

Tango couldn’t pretend that didn’t relax him, just a little.

Maybe he wasn’t in as much trouble as he feared.

[lover-of-mine]

How are you doing? I noticed that you make a lot of anti bucktommy posts now and I was wondering if everything is alright?

I used to follow you but I couldn't handle the hate and the negativity anymore. But still think you have a great blog.

Do you think you'll be able to go back to the way things were before if Tommy isn't in season 8?

Okay, look, I add that tag to everything I make that mentions the relationship because I'm not talking about it as someone who likes it and I want to give people the chance to not see that if they enjoy bt and still want to follow me. I tag things for people to block the tag just as much as I do so that people can find them. Most of those posts are me responding to asks. According to jet black code only 10 of those aren't asks. You think I'm posting too much hate and negativity? You have no idea how much negativity I filter. I have over 300 asks in my inbox right now. Some days I wake up to people calling me a bitch, telling me I'm delusional, that I'm just an entitled white woman who's just mad I don't get to fetishize Buck and Eddie, that I should just stop being here at all with much more colorful language, that I'm homophobic, that I could never possibly begin to understand the complexities of the bt with my tiny woman brain. Then I will admit I go a bit overboard the negative comments about them. Because I don't believe the relationship is anything groundbreaking but I keep getting hate about it and I am petty. But I answer to a fraction of to the shit I get and I have blocked people because they take things too far while hating on Tommy. A lot of those lately are reporting on the chaos that's been created in the fandom. It's an aspect of the show and I tag as anti because I am not a shipper. And I like getting those because I'm being attacked for not shipping them since April and I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling like I was losing my mind, I like talking to the side of the fandom who are not impressed with him. If, when he goes away from the show, people stop calling me names I will happily never talk about him again. I still make my sets, I write my fics, I make my videos, I write my metas. But I am also someone people like to talk about the relationship because I don't ship it and I won't take that away because we have nice discussions. Will things ever go back to the way they were before this mess? Probably not. But it will cool off on both sides eventually once Tommy isn't around. You can blacklist the anti bucktommy tag. You can blacklist "i really need a tag for asks" that's my ask tags. You can just search on tumblr as whole "otp: you don't need to pretend with me" if you just want to see my buddie stuff and don't want to follow me anymore because apparently I'm the only blog on that tag. You can just follow the 911edit tag, I pop up around there a lot. Who knows what will happen once he's gone, but I have a tagging system and I'm staying on my lane, that's the best I can offer you right now.

[respectthepetty]

Hello, since I found your blog I have paid more attention to the colors, although I must admit that I am terrible at that, my energy goes into reading the subtitles. but in chapter 3 of the sign Phaya and Tharn in their fight one wore green pants and the other blue. does this mean anything? Have you noticed if they are coded or if they use colors to speak? I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense since I don't know how to put it into words and I'm using a translator to write to you. thank you and have a good week

Anon, before I get to the possibility of colors in The Sign, I want to remind you and anyone else who looks at my little corner of Tumblr - do NOT apologize for your language! Everything you wrote made perfect sense, and if it hadn't, I could always ask follow-up questions. What you wrote was great, so don't ever think you aren't making sense, mostly in a second language.

Now, to your ask about colors in The Sign:

I'm not sure.

There's plenty of Naga & Garuda imagery in the show.

But I'm unsure if The Sign has something happening with the colors. I know that Phaya and Tharn have been shown to have a little light x dark dynamic.

And there was a small switch in episode three, but they still had the original color on them.

But I also noticed that something is happening with the green (and maybe blue) like you mentioned from this shot.

In Phaya's dream, Tharn was in green.

In his past life, he wore green.

Which is why I agree with those who stated this Wansarat who called Phaya out to the water in the second episode

didn't seem like the real Wansarat because 1) she didn't wear green, and 2) Tharn woke up because he sensed Phaya was in danger, which the previous Wansarat in green saved Phaya rather than put him in danger.

I made this comment in another post - "And because I always pay attention to colors, Chalothon wears green ties,

so this could be him or someone sent on his behalf watching Tharn."

So I think Nagas are represented by the color green.

Which makes me think Yai might be one as well.

Because when they were kids, Tharn saved Phaya and the green bar showed up, behind him.

Well, behind all of them: Tharn, Yai, and who I assume is Chalothon since Yai mentioned they have know him since childhood.

And it kept highlighting them.

But there are times Tharn wears blue.

And don't even ask me about this (unless Phaya is the warm colors and Tharn is the cool colors).

So, yeah, I'm unsure if there is color coding in this show because the first two episodes mainly had them in their training uniforms, and I lost all focus once we got hit by that pink lighting.

And I know it will happen again.

If I start to notice colors more, I'll definitely be posting about it because I'm enjoying this show very much as is, so if it gave me color coding on top of that, I can guarantee I'm going to be annoying about it. Because this green continuously popping up is already yelling at me.

So, of course, I'll be yelling at y'all.

[fandomsbyladymelodrama]

No pressure on this, but I wanted to ask if you'd like to tell me about one of/some of your favorite Christy scenes, and the things you like most about it/them? I can't singlehandedly revive the fandom on here, but it's such a joy to talk over this show with other fans!

I didn't realize until recently how thoroughly the Neil/Christy relationship informed my romantic preferences in all the media and writing I've done since watching it in my teens. Older, scholarly man/younger, determined woman, some kind of angst in the man's past, a need to change things for the better as an intrinsic part of the woman's character, a taboo element that stands in the way of the relationship... Even in the slash pairings I love so much, there's still so many elements of it!

Hey filmmakers, don't think we don't notice that you frame these two with Christy on a step/incline half the time to de-emphasize the height difference...

Oh my, oh my. Okay, first, let's be real. I've been waiting for an ask like this since 1994 (baby Tumblr wasn't even born yet 😂) so get ready for some major Neil/Christy feels that I've been suppressing but also diligently-tending-in-the-background for 30+/- years. THEY. ARE. PERFECT. Top-shelf OTP bottle, for sure. You understand, right? Of course, you do. We've discussed. But yeah, I feel the same way about this show/book/pairing influencing and informing both my writing style and romantic preferences in fiction over the years. Happy to admit it. Yes *raises hand* 1000 times yes. Hello, my name is ladymelodrama, and the fact that CBS so cruelly stole resolution for Neil/Christy from us forever (I'm not counting the PAX movies, I'm just not) is a crime against good television everywhere and will haunt my Christy-loving bones until I'm dead and buried in the ground deep enough so's the critter's can't find me, as Little Burl or Creed Allen would say. Anyway, you asked about Neil and Christy and favorite moments and since I can't just pick one...

I have a proposition to make :) Let's trade fave moments until we run out of them, maybe? No pressure, of course, but this is me mostly unwilling to commit to my Top 5 Scenes until I finish my rewatch, and even then I'll probably change my mind a couple times 😂 But here's one that I'll discuss in detail today and which I like to call the "Will This Do?" scene aka "and then they both smiled their little smiles at each other and lived happily ever after. The end." <3

(Credit to @heatherfield for this gif, and bless you, friend, for continuously shipping the same pairings as me - makes my gif-hunting so much easier haha <3)

So why do I love this scene so much? Oh, you know. Margret's dress. Objectively, it's gorgeous (the woman had style, even if she had no heart). And hey, it only coded Neil/Christy as endgame from the first episode, no big deal. Plus it was one of the softest moments in the whole show and THE WAY THEY SMILED AT EACH OTHER. Ugh. Soffffffft. I'm mean, you're seeing this too, right? ;) Meanwhile, I'm sure David is over here in the corner...doing what David does best XD Lurking. Always lurking.

(and, based on the pic I chose, maybe taking notes on how to have better chemistry with Christy? - "Dear Diary, Neil MacNeill is kinda the worst, have I mentioned?" 😂) But in all seriousness, what I love about that scene (and the exchange of smiles, in particular) is how there's an honest-to-goodness, my-spirit-just-spoke-to-your-spirit bit of humanity happening there. I die for those moments, little and quiet as they may be. It's just so...SOFT. They don't know each other yet. Not really. There's no romance at play (other than what I assume might be mutual physical attraction, even if Christy would never let herself go there. Not on her first days in the Cove) so it's more a budding friendship that we're seeing and friends-to-lovers is one of my favorite things? (Jorleesi, Jisbon, Siegfried/Audrey, Obidala, Red Cricket, Dickon/Mary much?). I also really enjoy when she comes down the stairs looking all pretty-in-lavender with her hair down (still lolling at your comment on that detail btw because...c'est vrai 😂) and "Oh no, David, it's so late...how will we ever get to Lufty Branch in time?" "Not we, Christy." (exactly, David, you're getting it). Too bad she has to spend all afternoon in this rustic cabin with a plaid-shirted, barrel-chested, brogue-speaking, moody mountain man with inside pain for dayssssss. Oh the everlasting horror XD

So yeah, so much to love about this scene (and the entire convo in the cabin afterwards and him plucking her from Theo prior to the whole dress thing - guy helps girl down from horse = I'm in love 😍). To witness the very beginning of their arc (okay, Part II of the beginning, but the doctor was busy with brain surgery during Part I, so you know what I mean) and to have the actors play it so, so beautifully and in an Appalachian setting that's just misty and magical and to die for all by itself... Mmmm *chef's kiss* Your turn, @darsynia <3

[kitkatt0430]

not quite an assumption but i am terrified of you how do you find the motivation (and TIME) to write as much as you do + with the quality you do???

I admit... sometime i write during work hours, something made easier because I can just work from home with my home laptop setup on one side of my L-shaped desk setup and my work laptop on the other.

While code is compiling or during a tea break I can write a few sentences or a few paragraphs or do a little editing. I don't write during work often, but on a slow day I can sometimes get a lot done on a fic. (I'm more likely to read or play music off my plex server, but writing is an option I enjoy having available.)

But overall I'm just a fast touch-typist. Slowed a bit recently by my switch to one of those split design ergonomic keyboards for my home office setup. Because, uh... I gave myself some very mild carpal tunnel symptoms this year presumably primarily from my typing. Though I think a few other things contributed. (Thankfully my wrist brace for sleeping in has largely cleared up the worst of my symptoms. No surgery needed!!!) So perhaps I should be viewing my own amount of output fic-wise to be a bit scary too. 😳

I'm not totally sure where my motivation to write comes from, exactly. Sometimes a fic idea comes to me and my imagination spins it like a microwaved plate enough times that I just have to write it. Because it's funny and I want to share or it's serious and it feels like I need to tell it or because my fingers just have to type it out so that it'll stop spinning in my brain. I think some of that is potentially ADHD related, tbh.

Honestly, every year I look back on how much fic I've written and go no??? I didn't write that much. Did I? Obviously I did but... wow. O_O Sometimes I focus so much on the fics that I haven't written, like series continuations, that I forget just how much I have actually completed and posted and that i should be proud of that work. I've really liked things such as the Ao3 Wrapped and other finished fic ask games here on Tumblr that remind me to look back and be happy about everything I've accomplished.

As for the fic quality... I have been writing fanfic since I was very young. The first fanfics I wrote were entirely for my own enjoyment when Star Trek Voyager was first airing. I still regret those fics were lost when the computer crashed. Though I also wrote a lot of plot ideas and story intros to those ideas in various notebooks at that age too, with homages to Snoopy's 'A dark and stormy night' type intros and influence from whatever I was reading at the time. Those are lost too, but all of it taught me things along the way about what worked for me and what didn't and how to improve my spelling and grammar. (Though re-reading my own fics is, to this day, an exercise in patience every time I find a minor error.)

So I owe my writing style and fic quality today to eight-year-old me who saw herself a bit in Naomi Wildman while playing imagination games. To my eleven(twelve???)-year-old self who identified with feeling like the odd one out the way Seven of Nine did and started writing my own stories about her as result and who didn't give up writing when my hand-me-down computer crashed only a few months after it was moved into my room, taking with it all the writing I'd saved. To my fourteen-year-old self who fell in love with reading fanfic and my sixteen-year-old self who tried to break out of the internalized misogyny and queerphobia with my writing despite not even realizing I had those things inside of me. To my college age self who didn't let busy schedules and calculus (ew) stop me from making time for my writing.... to every version of me I've been along the way who kept writing and improving my technique, often without even realizing that's what i was doing.

I'm thirty-five now, so my writing ability has had a lot of time to grow. But really, that's all my fic quality comes down to. All the time I've spent over the years telling lots of stories.

[boysbeloving]

Happy 1st Anniversary of KinnPorsche the Series!! 🎉 🎊 🥳 🥂

allow me to be emotional a bit (i say this as if i'm not emotional over the series and the actors every other day lol)

kinn and porsche are SO precious to me...as individuals and as a couple...i relate to kinn a lot: his struggles with a parent, his crushing sense of duty, trying to fit into the world he's forced to be a part of, him not always knowing how to communicate feelings...i had talked about it a bit here about how soft he is despite everything around him and ya...kinn is extremely close to my heart because of these things...i see myself in him (barring the killings and sadly barring the butt sex too)

porsche is just....SO MUCH lol!!!! if i spend time with him i would need 3 to 5 business days to get my energy levels back! but i understand his love for his brother and relate to how he's fiercely protective of him (i'm the same with my sister...but she's older than me)

and ofc mile and apo

man i related a little too much with apo's early life struggles lol...him being told to always 'correct' himself, him feeling disconnected with who he is made to be, being subjected to casual homophobia at workplace (he talked about these things in the On That Day interview and that press con that had happened with the entire cast)...the fact that he felt so unhappy coming back home from the US...it broke my heart and it hit a little too close actually...i had talked about this a bit here (i feel apo is queer coded) coz it reminded me of things that had happened in my life quite recently at that time and the fact that both apo and i were still going strong gave me a sense of kinship with him (hahha 'kinn'ship haahhhaha)...i ofc don't have a mile who has been a positive and happy addition to apo's life since he came back but i am making efforts to have those positive and happy additions in my life

and one of these positive and happy additions happens to be the kpts fandom....y'all....it is SO AMAZING TO BE PART OF THE FANDOM.....y'all are SO TALENTED! the art, the gifs, the meta, the fics, the vids, the polls, the thoughts on the characters, the crackposts, the textposts, the fandom archivers! i'm so thankful to all of you...each and every single one of you

and lbr we've had our fair share of trials and tribulations but because i'm only on tumblr and not on any other social media sites, it has been generally a brilliant experience...i have made such great friends, have talked to a bunch of you, received amazing mile thirst traps in my inbox, have been entirely inappropriate in writing my shameless tags in posts, have openly admitted to my armpit and armpit hair fetish (i made armpit appreciation gifsets ffs), have again very openly talked about my other kinks as well (i think y'all know 🙈) (the armpit fetish admission has led to a beautiful friendship that i cherish <3 and my thirsty tags have led me to meet my feral twin <3)

personally as well i felt like investing myself more into the fandom and the series and the characters and the actors....it made me do things that i had not done before! i talked to fellow fans actively, i made gifs (low quality and using free software lol but i'm actually happy with them), i wrote stuff, like i legit made an ao3 and wrote some stuff lol! i have not done that before and again it is primarily for me and i'm proud of myself for doing these things y'know

last but not the least, kinnporsche the series gave me my thai husband: mile phakphum romsaithong .... and for this alone, it is the best thing out there in the world 🙈🤣

the anniversary of my foray into the series will be next month (it was mile's asscrack that convinced me to finally watch the series that kept trending on tumblr from time to time) but let me be emotional today too

thanks y'all and happy 1st anniversary!

[thenamesmobu]

ARRIIIIIGHTTTTT Sorry for the bit of wait there BDJSHDJS procrastinated a bit there in the morning, but here we are back again with the first part. If you don't know what I'm talking abt here, this morning (in my timezone) someone asked how Devin just suddenly retired like that. I haven't really been spilling lore about my Narrator, so I'm taking the chance to explain it now. The prologue to the lore is right

over here which I highly suggest on reading first before this because I've just introduced my tsp oc that I hadn't reveal in my Tumblr up untill this point. Now after all the wait, enjoy

==================================

Part 1: Mentor and Apprentice

A long time had passed and Agus had come to slowly accept his new place of home. He came to accept the Parable, he came to accept William, Devin, including Ellios and Nara who are Devin's siblings ( @callixspod and @tsuru-yasunaga 's Narrators (sorry for the tag you guys)). He wasn't as spunky and rude as he was before, though he is much more calmer now, he still gets into arguments with Devin that had may or may not changed into simple bickerings.

Agus would never admit this out loud, but he began to see Devin as a father figure and Devin (unknowingly) treats him like his son, albeit like a son who's going through a terrible rebellious phase. Agus' relationship with Devin and William would grow for the better overtime and he began to let himself be happy after a long time. He still acts very cocky however, never admitting how he looks up to Devin and would always bad mouth him whenever a question was asked on what he thought of him. William helped him dramatically on calming his emotions and he would often go to him after arguments he had with Devin.

Agus suddenly visited his office while Dev was in the middle of writing a story. When asked what was up, the answer caught Devin off guard for a moment. Agus asked him to learn how to code under the guidance of him.

==================================

AAAAND THERE YA HAVE IT, FOLKS. PART 1 IS COMPLETE. I'll be doing the second one the next day, along with posting the new Narrator's design. I assume you guys already know who the new Narrator is by now, and I can't wait to show you guys his design. I'll be seeing you all on the next post, stay tuned✌️

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

As a trans man that still goes by his mildly femme birth name (because I absolutely adore it and no other name compares), I absolutely get giddy whenever I meet another transfemme in the wild that shares my name.

I met a young Trans girl yesterday who also went by my name, and she was a blast to hang out with.

When I was just starting out figuring out my own identity, my name was a HUGE insecurity. I got it into my head that being "stealth" was everything, and I got super paranoid about being safe at all costs, even at the expense of my own comfort, delaying coming out to people in my life who were vocal allies and refusing to believe that there were people around me that were willing to go out of their way to protect me.

My sense of caution wasn't unfounded unfortunately, a commuity group near and dear to my heart allowed and tolerated new transphobic and misogynistic members for far too long, causing me to have to get the owner of the space involved to lay down the law. It got better, but it's heartbreaking knowing that even though the space is accepting, these people will only ever tolerate me.

However, the owner has my back, and he's kicked out more than one bad actor over my time going there.

Anyway, back to my name.

My name has, mostly because of tiktok, morphed into a stereotypical "nonbinary" name.

Honestly, I hate how this community has the tendency to categorize itself and go to war over the littlest things. We are all a part of the same umbrella, and by infighting over things that really don't matter (masc/femme vs. male presenting/female presenting, neopronouns, is-queer-a-slur), we weaken our sense of community and make it easier for bad actors to take root.

Seriously, it doesn't matter. I will use what name you want me to use and make a good faith attempt at any requested pronouns, and laugh as a small portion of the community tries to assign boxes to a community that literally is ostracized for not fitting into them in the first place.

Really, if you are the type to try and assign a social dress code to a group that is infamous for breaking them, you might need to lurk in our spaces a little more before hitting post. It's ok to admit that this community is a LOT at times because it is. We have been organized for such a short time, and we really don't have too many elders (people older then the age of 35) active in the same spaces that a lot of younger people start in. It's weird to think that at 17, I am edging on the older part of the community. (No, really, that's bonkers. The fact that I remember a time before smart boards and going to computer labs should not make me feel old.)

There is SO MUCH to learn, and as someone who has a VERY practical view on identity and relationships, I am used to the feeling of culture shock in some areas. I wish I had some good recommendations on some good people to follow for interacting with older community members/BIPOC perspectives/diverse economic and social backgrounds, but I am new to Tumblr and haven't found many yet. If you fall into the above, please reblog and @ yourself.

My follow list for people who talk almost exclusively about being in the community on here is mostly white and upper middle class, and I would like to break out of that. You learn nothing by never stepping out of your own demographic, and I would like to see the difference between here and tiktok, especially how there's a lot more people in their twenties on here.

So, hi, my online name is Squirrel. My pronouns are he/him, and I already have a pinned post with my boundaries on here.

[bakiuwu]

If you saw the bullshit that happened yesterday on Baki Tumblr, I'll gladly give a summary of the "drama" that happened.

@yandere-writer-momo got salty tha I blocked her and so she made a passive-aggressive call-out post about it

calling me a "cop" and making me look like a bad person who just calls out people for no reason and is a big meanie-head. She talk about how I "police people on what they should or shouldn't like" and judges people on their ship. then uses the example when I informed her about the artist (banano-san ew) that she was praising in a post. She's making it seem like I'm policing and being judgmental when I was letting her know about how that artist is a fucking weirdo but apparently wanting to warn someone about a person who fucking disgusting is a crime.

WHAT'S REALLY INTRESTING is that after I commented tha you dm me about it, agreeing thats shit was weird, so how come now you're making seem like I'm big meanie-head for warning you about them?? seems ass-backwards to me.

Who is the artist that is being discussed? Who is she defending? that artist being banano-san. A weirdo I call-out a few months ago for their gross behavior in the baki Fandom, but for some reason, shes acting like I call out an innocent baki artist who's done nothing wrong???

I was bringing their gross actions to light to warn normal fans about their weirdo behavior, especially since they're mainly on tumblr/ I saw a bunch of people i was following praise them. If you dont know, there's a lot of weird/disgusting artists in the baki community. Artist like

Stvd-ships incest(baki x yujiro,Jack x baki), also pedophile (baki x tha 12 year old boy)

Chyiomm-ships baki x yujiro

There's too many of these weirdos in this small fandom, but banano-san is one of them. If you would like to see that post, it's pinned on my account. Where I basically go over screenshots of their disgusting behavior that's out in the open and is allowed to be judged because yall know it's public, duh.

What's also funny is that you say, " I can't judge cause I also dabble in taboo subjects. "....so you're grouping yourself with a bunch of incest likers?? That's very weirdo of you to admit that you wouldn't judge someone's whos fine with incest and pedophile

But if we're using momo and her brain-dead followers' logic, I shouldn't judge and be sympathetic and understanding about why a person would post and say such things🤓

I JUST LOVE how you're trying to make it seem like this hateful person. How cute, also you bring up "you need to understand tha people aren't going to agree with your opinions"........are you fucking dumb, why are acting like the my opinion on incest and pedophile can be something that can be debated, this shows how much of an weirdo you are cause what normal sane person would say tha about those very fuck up topics.

Also putting "they told me to stop writing.😅" Oh brother, did you or did you not vent to me about the weird request you were getting for non-con???? And how uncomfortable people were making you I told you to take a break from writing and figure other things to write. Don't make it seem like I was trying to be a dick

Like come now

MOST IMPORTANTLY, this whole dumbass theard is basically her trying to "educate" me on how I can ruin someone life because of calling them out for they're disgusting behavior and making nothing but excuses for these weirdos.

That I should sugar-coded theses types of weirdos who are in the baki Fandom. Don't even get me start on the weirdos agreeing with her in the comments making me and my friend look like we were wrong for having these opinions. The Fandom itself is small and honesty not that good(especially with all the dudebros), but lord forbid I warn people about fuckers like banano-sana.

Apparently, that makes me a cop now. Also don't try act all calm in proper in the reblogs "I won't use insults" when you was being a bitch in tha rude ass post trying to make me look like I witch-hunt innocent people, girl fuck you. I don't appreciate that type of petty ass behavior.

In conclusion, this shit all starts because of a distasteful call-out post all because I have her annoying ass blocked and her portraying me as a mean-ass who judges innocent people on the internet. At the end of the day, you're defending a freak. I had her block for a very simple reason......CAUSE SHE WAS FILLING UP THE DAMN BAKI TAG. I was tired of seeing post after post after post, shit was getting annoying, so I blocked her. Apparently thats wasnt allowed, so she made that dumbass post. Finally, that's all I have to say, and that's the "drama" summarized and explained.

[nny11writes]

Sketchy 2 Tumblr Exclusive????

It's more likely than you'd think and also I've realized that I really don't want to put more effort into Sketchy even if it's some of the funniest shit I've ever written lol

So have the Adora PoV chapter just for you!

So, WOW, just wow! Adora nervously scratched another day off in her planner and realized it had been two months since her and Catra had started...whatever this was! Dating? God she hoped it was dating. But on the off chance it wasn’t and saying so would make it awkward and then Catra would never ever speak to her again ruining the chance for even just a friendship, she wasn’t going to name it!

She carefully peeled another tiny heart sticker off the page and painstakingly applied it to the upper right corner to show that Catra had texted her that day. This, she assured herself, was a completely normal thing to do. How else was she going to keep track of their interactions to make sure she wasn’t being over the top by responding too much or too quickly or too frequently? You know, like, just generally too- Adora cringed at the perfectly placed heart. If Catra ever looked her in the face and had to say that Adora was too much, it might actually kill her.

It was funny how much someone could mean to you when you’d known them for less than a year.

She really did need to remember to thank Perfuma. 

Her friends had been helping her with her self confidence, and Perfuma had complimented her physique at the pool. She gave one of her cute soft giggles before telling Adora, “You should be a model, in shaa Allah!” When Adora had laughed about how badly that would go for her considering her arch nemesis shoes with heels higher than an inch, but that wasn’t what Perfuma had meant.

“No silly! I meant an art model.” Perfuma smiled up at her from the edge of the pool. “You know my fathers host a bi-monthly figure drawing class, you could model there and they’d even pay you!”

Adora might be living with the Moons now, but money had never really stopped being a concern of hers. So even though she’d stopped counting how much she ‘owed’ them, the thought of getting paid to treat her friends out for a meal on her (for once!) was very tempting. “Sure! What should I wear? Is there, like, a dress code?”

“Well...I suppose you could say there’s a dress code, yes.” Perfuma had that fond look in her eyes that usually meant she was talking to her plants or encouraging a small animal online to succeed. “It’s nude modeling after all, and you are very fit!”

Adora had almost died on the spot, and then died again when she thoughtlessly told Glimmer about Perfuma’s silly, silly idea thinking it would be a funny ha ha story they could giggle over while Adora finished panicking over it. Because of course Glimmer was going to encourage her to try it out, which in turn meant Bow would both be encouraging her to try it while placating that she didn’t have to if she didn't want to. And then Micah had asked what was going on and on hearing about the modeling opportunity had said, “Oh yeah, the Al-Jamil’s! Man, it’s been a good decade since I modeled for them. Great experience though kiddo, you’d love it!” The only good thing about that had been watching karma work in real time as Glimmer had to confront the fact that the one time her parents completely ‘forgot’ to pick her up from Girl Scouts happened because Micah thought Angella was getting her and was nude modeling while Angella thought Micah was getting her and was working late.

But surrounded by so many people who thought it was a good idea, Adora had eventually decided to do it. It wasn’t like she’d ever been body shy after all. The sheer number of times her fosters had to remind her to wear clothes was proof of that, and Glimmer admitted that she’d only realized she was bixsexual after Adora just walked naked from the bathroom to her bedroom.

So she’d gone and nervously been chatting with a few of the men there along with Alder. Of course, that man was a positivity magnet and very chatty on a good day, which was the kind of distraction she’d needed to not get nervous about ruining people’s artwork. And then, she saw a woman stroll into the backyard and thoughts went poof.

Woof. Wow! Having passed her check for lesbianism with flying colors, Adora had done her best to not get even more nervous. Which really was only happening because Alder seemed to notice her growing anxiety and started cracking joke after joke until she could barely breathe. Getting up on stage and dropping the robe hadn’t been a problem, she just listened to Alder’s gentle instructions while doing her best to not creep on the hot artist lady.

So of course she had to try and fuck that up for herself by getting bold near the end. The woman had stared at her in surprise, cheeks red with what had to be a sunburn, and then it was fucking ON. She kept at it and the woman seemed interested, or maybe that was how artists just looked? While looking at their art models? Like...Intense. And then in the thirty seconds it took to put her robe on (because good god she was not going to talk to a woman she wanted to maybe, possibly ask out for drinks or something while butt ass naked thanks), she vanished.

“Ohhhhh,” Glimmer squealed while riding the line right between genuine excitement and loving derision, “you found yourself a hot tortured artist!”

Which really didn’t help anything as Adora spent the next two weeks thinking about Hot Tortured Artist practically non-stop. 

Calling Alder to ask if there was any way the next slot was open was more embarrassing than the time she’d gone to the student health clinic to see about a tattoo infection only to be seen by the lady who diagnosed her anal fissures a month prior. She’d been double judged, she was sure of it. But at least Alder, unlike doctor what’s her face, was very polite about his excited amusement as he confirmed that he got the other model to cancel last minute.

Adora had gotten there way too fucking early to be allowed to live. Fifteen minutes early is on time after all, but painstakingly calculating out every minute of her day only to arrive almost an hour and a half early was a bit much. So she’d wallowed a little bit with a complimentary beer and Suffered the Consequences of Her Own Actions.

Or in other words, she learned where Perfuma learned how to meddle with someone’s life.

“So, any reason you wanted to try again?” “It is such a freeing experience, wouldn’t you say, really helps you to open your heart in a way.” “You know some of our artists are just really great people, you should try talking to them.” 

And worst of all: “Well I suppose we should get ready, although some people tend to get here at the very last minute so don’t worry if you don’t see someone in particular right away.”

Jesus Harold Christ, just say that you’re gay and homophobic instead!

Not that all the waiting and planning and thinking and preparing did any good. Adora managed to piss her off within ten seconds and then accidentally humiliated her once they got going. (She had never seen someone cough that hard for that long, the constant waving away of well intentioned people by flipping them off only complimented by the extremely raspy gasps of “I’m fine, fuck off!” had been kinda nerve wracking.)

“YOU ALMOST KILLED HOT TORTURED ARTIST!?!?!?” Glimmer shrieked at the same time Bow softly whimpered, “Oh shit, was she okay?”

Adora made a few very helpful strangled noises and covered her face with a whine.

“Oof.” Glimmer said, in a tone that implied she was somehow impressed.

“That’s rough, buddy,” Bow said, unaware of how he’d just quoted a pivotal part of Adora’s childhood.

“That bad, huh?” Micah asked, accidentally triggering an anxiety attack as Adora realized her parents 2.0 had just heard this whole story and now she was going to have to fake her own death to escape the shame.

Operation “my parents are now concerned about my sex life so I’m moving to Panama” failed spectacularly, and the next week’s slot was locked down tight just to add insult to injury. 

Two weeks later than she’d been planning to still be living here was more than enough time for her to come up with a stupidly brilliant plan. Or brilliantly stupid. Either way, Adora had managed to convince Glimmer to drive her to the Al-Jamil’s (a move she was regretting terribly as her best friend ran through a red light without even blinking for the third time in an effort to save a few seconds). And then managed to convince her to turn around to the closest store with art supplies, and then take her back. Which was how Adora found herself stumbling into the backyard wearing what Bow and Glimmer had both assured her was “her gayest casual outfit” with her stomach already flip flopping from the drive. Alder was already introducing the model, Adora was late, and she basically sprinted thoughtlessly towards her goal before remembering that Hot Tortured Artist was here to draw and plunked down into the seat next to her instead of saying hello.

The time started and Adora became painfully aware of how little she’d thought this out. Oh god she couldn’t even draw. Life truly was a party and Adora had just volunteered to be the pinata. Again.

The only good thing about her first serious attempts at art since the third grade was she had to concentrate really, really, really, REALLY hard on it and didn’t have time to get freaked out over her crush’s proximity until the end. As she added the last few touches to what would soon be Sea Hawk’s newest firestarter, Adora became uncomfortably aware of being watched.

Big RIP.

F.

Somehow they ended up talking as the weeks went by though. Well, Adora talked and sometimes Catra (CATRA! Her name was Catra!) would answer, usually in some hilarious pithy one liner that would’ve taken Adora years to think of. God, she was the total package. Hot, smart, funny, talented, and aggressively passive aggressively living up to her namesake. And Adora would’ve happily basked in her presence until she died if there hadn’t been an intervention that led to their first kiss.

And now look at them! Two months into [REDACTED] and living the dream! Basically!

With a sigh of defeat, Adora carefully peeled the smiling little rain cloud sticker off her page and added it to the calendar to show that she’d also been a sad sack about the situation today so she’d remember to review her texts in 13.25 hours in case her general downernessitude (something Glimmer assured her was a real word) bled through into her texts with Catra.

She was going to get a good grade in wooing, something that was both normal to want and possible to achieve, if it killed her.

So wrapped up in her own weird semi-pity party, she’d lost track of the time. A rookie mistake. Adora did not jump a foot in the air or raise her fists to defend herself when Glimmer slammed her bedroom door open and screamed, “SO I MET CATRA AT THE GYM TODAY!”

First of all, this was clearly unfair. Glimmer got to see Catra working out in gym clothes before her? It was a travesty is what it was!

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, Glimmer had met Catra unsupervised. “No! Nononononononono!”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” Glimmer whined, but when Adora’s mini-spiral didn’t let up, she grumbled, “Wow, tell me how you really feel.”

“Was she mad? Did you grill her? Did she insult you?? Did YOU insult HER!? It’s so much easier to do than you’d think! Oh no! DID YOU TWO GET IN A FIGHT!?!?”

The shove was really more of a gentle push, but not having expected it Adora crashed onto her bed with all the grace of an elephant with a limp facing the wind. Shortly thereafter one of the bottles of water she kept around the room was shoved in her hands as a successful diversion. Hydration was important and she usually forgot to do it, fucking hell she was seriously parched.

Glimmer flopped down next to her and began counting off on her fingers, “No! Only a little. Oh she absolutely did, and fuck yeah I did, but it’s cool.” Then she awkwardly cleared her throat before continuing, “And I maybe called her Hot Tortured Artist, but don’t freak out about it.”

“YOU WHA-”

“I said DON’T freak out about it!”

Their flailing hands quickly became a slap fight, before almost as quickly devolving into them just holding hands.

“Look, Hot- Catra is a bitch, okay? But, like, I can respect her style of bitch.”

Adora must have looked particularly pathetic as Glimmer took a deep breath to explain-

“Glimmer, language! Now who’s this I hear is being a bitch?” Angella asked, head poked around the door frame. When they both shrieked a bit like tea kettles, she smiled benevolently. “It’s dinner time and I want to hear about whatever has you two screaming like you’re teenagers again. It’s nostalgic for me.”

This was not the winning argument she seemed to think it was, but Adora still haltingly explained the whole dating* situation because it meant she could eat her emotions away at family dinner, where she could get fourths if she wanted to with only minimal judgment.

“So, when do we get to meet,” Micah paused to dramatically wiggle his eyebrows in time with each syllable, “your girlfriend slash significant other.”

“Don’t tease the poor dear!” Angella scolded as she piled mashed potatoes on the back of her fork, only to turn around and stab her beloved daughter in the back, “But yes. Bring her over for dinner sometime.”

Adora: So no biggie or anything but, first of all I’m going to kill Glimmer but also the Moon’s want you to come over for dinner sometime.

Catra: oh no not sparkles oh woe oh woe lmao what you like me or something?

How desperate would it be to respond: I think I’m actually falling dangerously in love with you and want to spend so much time with you it’s unreal. I want to find things to hate about you to make you a real human that I can be even more in love with and I wonder what your pillows smell like. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I want to have your babies. So is that a yes to a familial dinner?

Pretty desperate, she decided.

Adora: You wish! Sooooo, is that a yes?

Catra: sure

Adora: Catra >:(

Catra: uuugh its a yes

Adora: *it’s

Catra: It’s now a “No”, my lawyer will be in touch.

Adora: Catra! :”( … Catra!?!??!!? :”(((((((((((((((

Catra: ffs okay its a yes again

Adora decided to put a second heart sticker on the calendar for good luck, and then literally kicked Glimmer’s bedroom door open to jump elbow first on her.

After all, there was honestly no other way for her to find out what gym Catra went to.

~

END NOTE: * Word removed for protagonist’s sanity