#I actually ordered trans tape but I don’t think it’s coming in time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovelyirony · 4 years

Note

could you write something for trans pepper coming out to tony please?

authors note: i am not an expert, nor am i trans. please let me know if i have written anything wrong/harmful, and i’ll take it down

When Pepper started at Stark Industries, she told herself that she would not get too involved. She was here to do her job, and nothing else. She had caused “problems” at her last job, and in return they had caused problems for her as well.

(Sitting by herself at the cafeteria, fielding uncomfortable messages, and correcting intentionally wrong emails had been...exhausting. Mentally and physically.)

But this? No, this can’t go on.

The math is all wrong. It’s going to cost the company about a million dollars if she lets it pass, and while she’s sure that it could be replaced easily in a day, that’s the kind of thing that gets you fired. And when employers look at your resume and see that you were terminated from the highest-ranking job to have for an accountant, a prestigious company that takes pride in accurate numbers and satisfied employees?

Well...it doesn’t look too hot.

So she brings it up. Her boss isn’t exactly happy with her. She thinks the numbers were probably intentional.

“I’ve been doing this for years, I think I know a little bit more than you, young lady,” he scowls.

Pepper’s not exactly fazed at the dismissive remark.

“Then I’m sure that you’ll know that your math is wrong. It’d be better to double-check it and be right and have me be in the wrong than not check it and be fired.”

He doesn’t check it.

But when he’s called into Mr. Stark’s office, he must have mentioned her name.

He put the blame on her.

Pepper cannot believe it as she’s called in.

“So, Mark tells me that you did math wrong.”

“I didn’t. I triple-checked it, and kept the receipt tape as proof.”

“Oh, I know. Mark can’t do math for shit, but he hates when people tell him. But I’m glad you did, because it made me realize I can’t have someone who’s so insecure that when someone tells them to double-check it and they don’t because they want to be right, that...I don’t know what I was doing. Anyways, he’s fired.”

Pepper blinks.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Also, I’m reading your file. Virginia? Did your parents hate you?”

“Not the worst name I’ve been given,” Pepper says smoothly.

“Hm. Says here that you go by Pepper. I like that.”

“Thank you, chose it myself and everything.”

“And everything?” Tony asks, smiling. “I like that.”

Four months later, she’s in the break room when Tony’s personal assistant quits on the spot after he’s late for the third time in a week.

“I can’t fucking do this!” He screeches. “I’m done.”

Pepper’s not sure why she goes into Jason’s office and just looks at the schedule.

She calls his cell.

“Jason, seriously, I told you to quit bothering me.”

“It’s Pepper. Get your ass over here for your meeting, the board directors are about an inch away from reinstating Obadiah.”

“And that would be a bad thing...why?”

“You want your stock points to drop because you’re proving that you can’t be trusted to run a company?”

“I’ll be there.”

It’s the fastest time that Tony makes it into the office, by the way. Pepper’s only slightly proud.

She’s terrified when he offers her a position as a personal assistant. She’ll be in the limelight, people paying attention to her.

She modifies her contracts: no one is allowed to access any sort of personal information. At all. It has to be locked in a vault, only key is one that she and Tony know about.

“Anything I should know about?”

“Um. No.”

“Oh. Okay. As long as you aren’t secretly running any illegal thing out of one of the floors, then be my guest. But if you are, let me know. Petra in accounting--new hire, you wouldn’t know them--is secretly reselling wedding cakes. I think. Maybe the wedding cakes was a bad lie. Hell. But welcome aboard!”

Wrangling Tony is a lot like dealing with a goldfish. He’s a genius; she sees that when she walks into his house and sees about seven different projects lying around, and at least two papers that have notes about redoing a filtration system for drinking water.

He is also incredibly stupid.

“You have fifteen coffee cups out.”

“Impossible, I don’t own that many!”

“Aw, did you not take counting classes in preschool?”

Tony likes her. A lot. She’s got a bite of wit, no-bullshit when it comes to business, and never misses a beat. She also has a killer sense of style, and is the one who makes sure he’s not wearing a weird mixture of jeans and a sport coat.

“No.”

“Come on, it’s not like fashion actually matters that much. Well, not to me.”

“It should. You should be the most creatively dressed male out there, and you’re not. A black suit? God, that’s...that’s sad. No, I ordered you a blue silk suit. Embroidered with flowers all over, matching shoes with inverted colors. Come on. In you go.”

“Ugh.”

(His outfit is a smashing success, by the way. They ask who his stylist is, and he just says “Oh, my personal assistant said she would bury me in my garden if I wore a black suit. I would’ve dug it myself, looking on this now.”)

She does not tell him for a long time. At all. Because people are...weird about it. Weird questions, weird statements, and compliments so backhanded she doesn’t like to call them compliments.

But at some point, she needs to tell him. Or she wants to. She wants to, she doesn’t have to. Yeah.

Okay. So she’s in love with him. A tiny bit.

He makes her coffee. Every morning. Creamer goes into the mug first, then coffee. That’s the only way she takes it.

He compliments her a lot, and she knows that this shouldn’t be a reason that love qualifies but it’s nice to hear. He also bought her a very expensive pair of shoes.

Pepper honestly does want to tell him. She also does not want to lose her job, however. So she needs to gauge the situation. Maybe talk to some of her girlfriends, see what’s up.

Well then her boss goes missing for months and comes back and obviously you can’t tell someone you’re in love with them after they come back with an electromagnetic device in their chest. That’s just crazy.

He came back...different. New circumstances, new outlook on life. She relates a tiny little bit.

She buys herself a beautiful blue dress. He gives her his credit card, tells her to buy herself something nice, and goddammit she’s never been one to really disobey her boss. (Just bend some rules. Or create new ones that negate the old ones.)

She curls her hair and only curses eight times, which is actually pretty good. Her usual amount of cursing per-curling-session is about eighty-two.

He looks at her like she’s an angel, and she thinks...yeah. Okay. She’ll tell him that she’s in love with him.

Well then his uncle decides to attempt to kill him. God, what a mood killer. She hates this.

They’re laying down in his house on the patio, and he’s sipping on a smoothie that she’s honestly sure is 100% gross, and he turns to her.

“Would you ever want to go on a date with me?”

Pepper blinks.

“Yes,” she says without skipping a beat. “But we need to have a discussion before I dedicate myself to this cause.”

“What am I, a Salvation Army donation bin?”

“Maybe.”

“Then dinner-and-discussion tonight. Not a date. Just...talking.”

She’s nervous. She’s put her hair up so that she won’t run her fingers through it, but now she’s just fidgeting with her necklace and bracelet.

Tony looks nice. He’s in a casual graphic tee and old jeans that are older than she actually knew they could hold together. She is in old shorts and a tank top and yeah it’s casual but it’s also nice and wow she’s really over-thought this.

“So, what are your concerns?” Tony says. Getting to the point straight-away, that’s always his move. Pepper gulps.

“You mind if I get water?”

“Not at all.”

She sips on water.

“My concern is that I’m transgender and you need to know that before we pursue anything.”

Tony blinks.

“Um. Okay. Was not expecting that right out. I was more thinking you would have a problem with my new armor and Rhodey and I being immature when he visits and also how much time I spend on inventing.”

“Well yeah, those too. But I deal with those all the time. But I’m also concerned about you pissing off the government and them sending secret agents to kill us.”

Jarvis cuts in smoothly.

“I am afraid, Miss Potts, that they wouldn’t make it two hundred feet of this current residence. Would you like me to update security protocols at other residences around the globe?”

“You can do that?” Pepper asks.

“Yes, Miss Potts.”

“Please do update, thank you.”

Tony grins, looking at her. The same way. Which is kind of exhilarating, all things considered.

“You amaze me. J, remind me that if Pep and I break up, I need to build a bunker that could withstand a nuclear war.”

“I will not remind you of that, as I’m sure it will be on you,” Jarvis remarks.

Pepper snorts.

“I wasn’t aware that I was going to turn my AI against myself,” Tony sighs. “Such is life.”

Pepper grins. He squeezes her hand.

“You want to celebrate this with wine? I’m sure tomorrow you’ll have me signing so many forms for workplace relationships that I’ll cry by two p.m.”

“Make that one p.m., and you’ll be fine you big baby,” Pepper teases.

Tony blows her a kiss as he gets up from the couch.

“Thank you. For telling me. I know that that’s hard to tell people. Discuss more of it later, or now?”

“Mm, later. It’s late at night, I’m tired.”

“Gotcha. You want red or white tonight?”

“...Red.”

Tony grins, getting out the wine glasses. He pours carefully and expertly, and raises his. They clink their glasses together.

“Cheers to more success. For the both of us.”

Pepper grins softly.

“For success.”

#i was hesitant writing this #so if there is a problem here #or if i wrote something that is harmful/hurtful: PLEASE let me know #transphobia tw #lovelyirony writes #i do like this headcanon a lot tho #i think it's very nice :)#trans!pepper #pepper potts #tony stark #pepperony #anyways i just like that pepper is immediately like 'WELL CALLING YOU ON YOUR BULLSHIT'#and then tony's like 'omg ur the love of my life!'

82 notes · View notes

my-darling-boy · 5 years

Note

Heyo! So I am thinking about starting to bind, and was wondering if you had heard of the brand Flavent? If so what do you think of their binders? And are there any tips about binding that would be helpful? I don’t really know how to go about any of it. Also I wanted to say that I really love your blog’s aesthetic!!

Oh I have! Flavnt is a great brand actually, I’ve ordered from them before and follow them on ig. Their binders are so good in fact every time they get them in stock, they go out of stock just as quick!

And if you’re a first time binder, I’ve actually got helpful info for you!

Firstly:

NEVER wear the binder while sleeping. Do not go for a full night’s sleep with the binder on. You should always be conscious and aware of how your body is responding to the binder AT ALL TIMES.

NEVER use first aid bandages, muscle tape, or ACE Bandage if you lack a proper binder. Bandages like those are meant to be wrapped around things you do not want to move, and your ribcage needs to expand for you to breathe!! Wrapping your chest with these tight, constricting products not only heavily restricts breathing but you also run the risk of cutting off blood circulation to the rest of your body, rapidly damaging nerves in your breasts, back, and torso, increased chance of tearing your lungs from the lungs inflating with no space for expansion, bruising your back and ribcage, ruining skin elasticity quicker in your breasts which will limit top surgery incision types, and PASSING OUT due to prolonged lack of oxygen and/or blood flow to your brain. I know you see stereotypical drawings or stories of trans people binding with ACE but DO NOT DO IT. I speak from experience as I still have nerve damage in my back and damage to my breast tissue from doing it when I first started binding at 14. (Same risks apply for wearing a binder that is way too tight!)

NEVER use a binder from a non-reputable seller. If the product is simply this strange looking cheaply priced band which goes across the chest or tries to market itself as a “lesbian, tomboy, woman binder” IT IS NOT SAFE. These “binders” can have the same consequences as listed above. If you’re unsure if a site is safe, a simple web search will usually provide some insight in a few short minutes.

With this in mind, here is some info on reputed sellers:

FLAVNT, with their famous Bareskin Binder in a variety of skin tones and sizes, is starting to be a go-to for binders. The company is run by a trans guy and a lesbian if I remember right, and usually proceeds from their products will go directly towards funding select people’s top surgeries. They also have awesome trans/gender non-conforming themed merch to buy too!

Underworks is the brand I have always used. Originally started for men with gynecomastia, they have expanded their products to trans/gender non-conforming people. Unlike the other companies in this list, they use a medical grade mesh layered material for their binders which some find to be more durable/better binding but others find to be uncomfortable/not suited for their body type. It all depends!

Gc2b has been the go-to for binders for a long time and people are usually really happy with their order! I can’t say too much about them cos I have admittedly never ordered from because cloth binders never seem to fit me correctly? But the reviews are great!

Shapeshifters is one I have encountered recently from this article from a plus-sized trans person about binding as a plus-sized trans person! They offer custom sized binders with a variety of designs and sites like these are often the best option for people who have trouble with finding the right fit among the limited industry sizes!

On sizing/fit:

-BINDERS FROM EACH COMPANY HAVE DIFFERENT SIZE CHARTS. Things like the brand’s fit, material used, and your body shape can all affect how a binder fits. A small from one company will not always be a small from another one. A lot of the time, only chest measurements are used to determine your binder size and some find that alone not to be enough to find the right fit. Thence, some people opt for custom sized binders like Shapeshifters as mentioned above.

-The most important thing is that you are able to breathe in it! If you have any numbness or tingling in your limbs or under the binder, or feel light headed/short of breath (that is not caused by anxiety) TAKE OFF THE BINDER. You may need to order the next size up and continuing to wear a too-tight binder is dangerous.

-During your first times wearing a binder, you may feel it to be almost too snug, and this is because you need to break it in, so some pinching, discomfort, tightness is to be expected at first. However, if it persists beyond your first few wears, your binder may be too small. But do know there are some people who end up always having a bit of pinching/cutting due to their body shape/weight, even if their binder is compressing nicely. If you’ve never used a binder before: take it in small time frames. Wear it for an hour or two at first, remove it, then up the time from there to see how your body fairs with each time you wear it. Don’t start out wearing it the full eight hours.

-If you are in between sizes, DO NOT ORDER A SIZE DOWN. Often, the size is not going to be a little smaller but dramatically smaller.

-Binders come in two lengths: cropped and full torso. It doesn’t always matter which one you buy, but some people find if they have a larger waist, they like the full torso binders whereas I can’t wear them because my waist is way too small and my chest slips down, so I only order cropped binders to focus the compression on just my chest

-If you have a problem with your chest slipping down in the binder, some people like to wear sleeveless undershirts beneath the binder itself to prevent this

-You’ll generally know the binder is too tight. But if you’re still on the fence: if you cannot fully take a deep breath in, the binder is too small!

On safety concerns, effects from binding, and other little tips:

-Avoid wearing it for longer than 8 hours. Some people are able to wear it a little longer than this time due to much less compression from their binder. Regardless, DO NOT bind for more than 8+ hours ON A FREQUENT BASIS even if the binder still feels comfortable. We all get stuck in situations or unexpectedly long work days in our binders sometimes but PLEASE try to avoid wearing the binder for any longer than you need to. Take it off when there’s no need for it. Take entire rest days from the binder if you find yourself in it for long periods of time. YOUR BODY NEEDS REST FROM YOUR BINDER NO MATTER YOUR CHEST SIZE. Trust me.

-Avoid doing any prolonged, strenuous activity such as intense exercise. While I have worn it to the gym for basic workouts and barre classes plenty of times with zero chest/back soreness or issues, I obviously didn’t do this every day and I wasn’t doing this for collectively more than 40 minutes and didn’t wear the binder for the rest of the day because I was home. But again, it is SAFER if you DO NOT wear it during gym time. Opt instead for sports compression bras and shirts that make the chest area ambiguous when you exercise.

-Avoid wearing it on airplanes. This one is often disputed, but it is generally believed that wearing a binder on an airplane will cause restricted breathing due to high altitude even in a pressurised cabin. Yet, I have worn my binder on four 11 hour flights (removing halfway through for sleeping) and had ZERO issues with breathing/comfort. It’s possible that people being unable to breathe comes instead from claustrophobia in the cabin, anxiety with flying, sitting position, or preexisting medical conditions and they attribute it to the binder. Personally, I think it’s safe to wear binders on airplanes because every time I’ve flown, I’ve had no issues, and trans guys I know personally have also had no issues, but this doesn’t mean it’s right for EVERYone. Wear it at your own risk.

-Additionally, avoid wearing it on turbulent/fast rides as the high velocity can increase compression on your chest. Again, I’m a Bad Boyᵀᴹ and I’ve worn it on plenty of upside down rides, including wearing it on that fair ride that spins you around so fast, gravity pins you to the wall. In all these situations, I again felt nothing and even forgot I had the binder on.

-I mention the “less safe” ways I have bound before for a reason. Please don’t think Binder Horror Stories happen to everyone. I used to spend so much time worrying about how Dangerous my binder could be, afraid to wear it even, but guess what? When I felt the binder needed to come off? I took it off. When I thought it might be actually unsafe to do something in my binder? I didn’t do it. I LISTENED to myself and my body, and that is overall the SAFEST thing you can do. This is how I’ve avoided binder complications for 7 YEARS. Even the general rules have a bit of relativity to them. I’ve met people who think they can bind for 8 hours safely when they were in horrible pain at just 4 hours, but continued to wear it because “It’s safe to wear for 8 hours because a trans guy told me so!” ONLY YOUR BODY sets how long and in what situations you can bind in. Bind in a way that is safe and comfortable for YOUR BODY. Additionally, most negative affects from a binder happen over prolonged periods of time after CONSTANT situational misuse, so if you wear it on the rare occasion when you think you shouldn’t have, it’s not the end of the world. Check back with your doctor if you are concerned with how your binder may be affecting you. Even binding using—or not using—the general accepted avoidance rules can prove risky if you do not listen to your body first and foremost. Everyone’s experience and limits vary considerably!

-Binding for roughly over 3-4 years, your chest may begin to droop because of the constant compression slowly wearing down the skin elasticity of the breasts. This could potentially negatively affect chances of minimal incision top surgery. For example, I have been binding for 7 years and now have a tiny chest from T which would’ve made me perfect for keyhole, but alas, binding for 7 years gets me double incision

-Keeping your binder clean is important, as you can get very hot in it regardless of the weather. Be sure to keep it washed in cold water and hang dry to keep its form or use low dryer heat to restore some of the “stiffness” if you find it getting a little loose fitting. A dirty binder will cause body acne as well

-In hot weather, avoid wearing it as much as you can to avoid overheating, or wear light and airy fabrics to reduce the chances of profusely sweating in the sun with it on

-Preexisting medical conditions that affect the lungs, nervous system, or muscles/bones in your arms, chest, neck, or back may cause you a series of unique difficulties other binding people do not have so please be aware of this

-Sometimes panic attack + binder = increased panic attack because you think you can’t breathe. If the space permits it, pull the binder down from your chest area to allow you the fullest breaths possible

Lastly, getting the binder on:

Everyone has different ways to get it on, but the most widely used is this method. Start by making it so the binder is wrong-side-out and upside down. Step into the opening (straps towards the ground) and slide it up your body. Once you get to about your waist, you’ll want to get the binder right-side-out by slipping your wrists in through the straps and “flipping” the garment up your torso as the you slide the straps up and onto your shoulders. You also want to make sure your chest is basically shoved Upwards and Outwards under the binder towards your underarms. To do this, I lay flat on the floor/bed and lift the right and left sides of the binder briefly to allow my chest to naturally fall back towards my underarms. DO NOT flatten your chest downwards by smashing all of the tissue and your nipples down towards your sternum for it will cause your chest to droop faster on top of being painful. I made a handy little doodle to show you what I mean!

Anyway, I hope this helps! x

Anyone who has some other tips that may be helpful for binding, feel free to add on!

#asks #ftm #ftnb #trans #transgender #ok to rb #long post

757 notes · View notes

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 5 years

Note

I saw on the gc2b website that you can exercise in your binder. I do track & cross country, but I had hurt my ribs after using a binder that was a size too small. Would I hurt my ribs more if I run (with injured ribs) & use the right size?

Lee says:

We’ve been a trans advice blog blog for 8 years now, so we have been answering questions for 4 more years than gc2b ever existed.

Over the past 8 years I’d estimate we’ve gotten at least a hundred asks by people who got injured while binding and exercising.

There’s only one study on binding that I know of, and they didn’t say anything about the safety of exercising in a binder. So in the absence of data that supports the safety of binding while exercising, we have to rely on the community to figure out what seems to be safe and what isn’t.

“Current recommendations shared by transmasculine and LGBTQ community organisations for healthy binding include: wearing a correctly sized binder, avoiding the use of elastic bandages, duct tape, or plastic wrap, removing binders when sleeping, and limiting binding to 8-12 hours/day (QMunity 2013; Stanford University 2014). These recommendations are largely based on personal experience with binding rather than clinical or population-based studies.”

We tend to answer things that there aren’t much/any research about on a “better safe than sorry” basis. Maybe we’re a bit conservative in our advice, but for good reason. Maybe for every person who gets injured, there are 30 who come through unscathed. But that’s still one trans person who has been given dangerous advice.

Gc2b says you can exercise in a binder if you wear a binder a size larger than your normal size to exercise in and “Know your limits and take it easy. Go slowly with exercise intensity and take baby steps if you’re worried; everybody is different. It is important to take the binder off/cease the activity if you notice any sort of pain or discomfort.” There’s no supporting sources on their site saying why they think potentially intense exercising in a binder is safe though- just that statement.

I think it’s possible that if someone is doing mild exercise in a binder that they’ve ordered specifically in a size too large to exercise in, they may not get injured. But I also think that many people will either do vigorous exercise and push themselves too hard, like you probably will if you’re wearing a binder in a cross country race, or people wear their normally sized binder which isn’t safe either. Moderation and caution in doing risky things is great, but you need to know that they’re risky in order for you to have enough knowledge to be cautious about it.

So maybe there isn’t any data that says binding while exercising is dangerous. But we can tell you from the years of running this blog and from our personal experiences as trans people who bind, people do get hurt while binding and exercising. It isn’t a made-up phenomena, and the asks we’ve gotten prove that to us.

And maybe we’re a bit conservative and black/white in our advice, but it’s for good reason. Maybe for every person who gets injured, there are 10 who come through unscathed- but that 1 person who gets hurt may have a hard time accessing a trans-competent doctor, especially if they’re a closeted teen, and they may have to stop binding for a good amount of time while their ribs heal and it can be emotionally devastating if they’re stealth or have a lot of dysphoria and use binding to cope. So you also have to consider our audience when you see our posts that urge caution.

I can’t speak for gc2b here, and I honestly believe that gc2b is a good company that tries to make safe binders and help inform people on how to use their products safely. I actually wore gc2b binders myself before I got top surgery and I recommend them on this blog in our Binding FAQ and when asked by followers. I also know we’ve been around twice as long as them, and we have no conflicting financial interests here. We are all volunteers who make no money from this blog whatsoever- we aren’t trying to sell you binders or any other product.

Maybe the people at gc2b have been lucky and haven’t gotten injured while binding and exercising. That’s great- I would never wish a binding injury on any trans person. But I’m not convinced the binding while exercising is actually safe, and I wouldn’t knowingly recommend anything potentially dangerous to our followers, who are mostly teens and preteens.

If gc2b has some secret data they aren’t sharing on their site that indicates binding and exercising is safe, then I’ll happy update our information. But until there is unbiased scientific info supporting their claim, I think it’s best to be safe rather than sorry and avoid binding while exercising so you don’t become one of the “I’ve injured myself binding” anons we get so frequently in our inbox.

We don’t want to be responsible for you getting injured! If something seems unsafe, we’re going to tell you that. If you then decide “I want to do it anyway,” then that’s your decision- we can’t force you to bind safely. We can only tell you what information we know, based off of our personal experiences, and let you make your own choices.

TLDR; We can’t tell you that it’s safe to exercise in a binder because there isn’t enough data on it, so we’d recommend that you don’t do it because a lot of people have sent asks they they were injured after doing so.

Back to your question: Would you hurt your ribs more if you run in a binder with injured ribs? Yes, there’s a good chance that you would re-injure your ribs by binding again while you run, possibly enough to aggravate the healing so it takes longer for them to heal or worse. You don’t want to get a season-ender rib injury, so it’s better for you to wait until your ribs have healed from the first binding injury, then just run with a compression sports bra.

In high school I also ran track and cross country on the women’s team, wearing a sports bra. It wasn’t the best for me emotionally, so eventually I quit the team and just ran for fun with a friend. Then I finished high school and turned 18, and I started T and got top surgery. Now I’m in my second year of running NCAA DIII cross country on the men’s team at my college. You’ll have many more running years ahead of you as well- if you take care of your body!

#Lee says #exercising #binding #gc2b #binders #gc2b binder #exercising in a binder #Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender #TTSG #nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender teen survival guide

115 notes · View notes

dolcetters · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho ( ;-; AAA THANK!!! )

TAGGING (don’t feel obligated to do it!): @forsakenflora , @avadite , @yinseal , @inseparabilum , @reigningsniper , @tsume-awase , @canisfuria & YOU if you wanna!

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

----------------------------------------------------

MY MUSE IS: CANON / OC / AU / CANON-DIVERGENT / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (he’s fetishized a lot; thanks, i hate it)

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (i’d lean more toward no)

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / MAYBE (stares into the abyss)

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (true neutral, my boy)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? ♠ || i have an ongoing joke that “canon is a slab of meat that we slow-roast at 475 degrees and carve for the juicy bits” but at the same time it’s not a joke at all, i’m being perfectly serious. i’m definitely a lot less strict than when i started for writing canon characters way back yonder, but i also DO like to keep within an array of canon boundaries because i’m not writing for an OC in this instance, i’m writing for an established character. ...it also doesn’t help that my character’s handled differently in the 4 types of media he shows up in but. i grew up reading DC comics and writing for beast boy, so i’m kind of used to “multiple takes existing for singular character”.

that being said, my take on dol is clearly canon divergent (since... he’s alive and my default verse takes place after the nest raid) but it pulls primarily from brotherhood/manga with a couple dashes of 2k3 series (since that’s the only media that gives us a length of time that he was in the labs). but given that i follow along with just about every scrap of information provided in the manga on this clown, i’d say i follow canon fairly strictly... but there ain’t a lot to go off of, so my reins are pretty loose no matter how you look at it. my city now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. ♠ || (*￣3￣)╭ well, hello, there. aware of dog? yes. this is he: dolcetto mcgrouchyboots, and he is not happy to be here at all. he is traumatized, sassy, wants to throw hands with teenagers, has no sense of self worth, and will absolutely use himself as a meat shield in order to protect any and everyone he cares about. he is spliced with: dog. his favorite weapon: sword. if you listen carefully, you might hear dog-song rising on the east wind as he approaches (don’t tell him axel taped a cassette player to his back). he comes from a found family of complete and utter morons with a lot of damage, they live in a partially underground bar, work as information brokers, and are all DEFINITELY fully functioning adult people. they say gay and trans rights. if you like angry boys with a sense of humor semi-on-par with griffin mcelroy, this is the boy for YOU!!!

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). ♠ || he’s only featured in a handful of episodes/chapters across all media, doesn’t have a significant amount of dialogue, and we only ever see him lose to the protagonist(s) despite that he seems more than capable of fighting anyone else. easy to brush off as a “aw he died and that’s sad but we didn’t really know him, moving on”. from what i’ve seen in my years, people are more interested in him being a cog in the machine of “greed is sad” and less interested in... HIM. which is fair, i guess, but hhhhhh

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? ♠ || i don’t know if i can pin-point any ONE thing, but i’ve always been drawn to characters with some sort of connection or bond with animals (example, once again, being beast boy from teen titans). i also have an IMMENSE weakness for the found-family dynamic. so when the devil’s nest appeared during my first watch through of brotherhood, i was pretty much... hooked. immediately. and devastated. immediately. as for what drew me to writing dol, specifically... probably his loyalty, his drive, the fact that he WOULDN’T FUCKING STAY DOWN no matter how many times someone knocked him flat on his face. i vibe with that. grew up very much in the mentality of “fall down 7 times, get up 8″. also, he had a sword... which always beats guns on coolness factor. and i loved his fire. ...and that he was a complete fucking idiot who’s really bad at kidnapping i mean HOLY SHIT THAT’S HOW YOU TRIED TO GET HIM TO COME WITH YOU, DOLCETTO, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING--

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? ♠ || dol has always been a great source of ...venting for me? <xD ever since i started writing him, i’ve always found his muse--specifically--to be extremely cathartic and comforting. i dunno if it’s because he lets the more... jaded side of me come out, even when we’re both trying to be optimistic?

because i’ve been in 2 emotionally abusive friendships. i definitely have some left over hurt, pent up anger that hasn’t been given closure, a hell of a lot of underlying bitterness that i never got the opportunity to confront those people, BUT i still try to be. y’know. welcoming, friendly, supportive, despite a voice in the back of my head being paranoid?? i think dol continues to give me outlets to expressing that. somehow. not that i use him as an excuse to do it, more so i have more opportunities to do it when i’m writing him as opposed to writing someone like beast boy, who’s usually more on board with keeping the peace than picking a fight. i’ve also invested SO MUCH TIME and ENERGY into his background and headcanons and things that i kind of can’t quit him now, nor do i want to.

... and aside from that i just want him to have a happy ending god, fucking damnit.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( or i certainly hope so )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( definitely have moments but eh! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO ( kind of... varies. i’d say i’m more hyper aware)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? ♠ || i definitely like to think i do when it comes to pre-established things in canon. but when it comes to what i’ve built on my own over my years of writing for dol (and the nest members as a whole), it’s kind of my sandbox and i’d appreciate you not stomp around in it.

unless i need to be learned a thing, like... one of the nest members, vi, is a trans-woman. i’m a cis-woman and i try to do as much research as i can and educate myself, but if i ever fuck something up please tell me, i’m doing my best but i’m more than willing to listen. i want to grow.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? ♠ || pretty sure everyone does! >xD but yeah! i FUCKING love it. especially since i’m writing for a minor character. =//o//= it shows people are interested in him despite his overall lack of content.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? ♠ || i’d definitely be curious as to why but i doubt i’d be offended or take ... any personal harm from it--y’know? it’d be more of a “let me hear your perspective and maybe it’ll expand my own understanding, or i might not agree after the explanation and that’s cool”!

an exception would be for an obviously shitty one that’s shitty for no reason, like... acTUALlY, he’s TOtaLLY hom///o///pho//bic, to which i’d be like “bitch, no, get away from me; no one in this bar is straight, die mad”.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? ♠ || again, it’s cool! there’s not a lot of canon material so you can take his portrayal a variety of places. if we don’t jive, it’s pretty whatever.

my one exception to this is probably people who, in the past, have told me i write him being “too mean”. which will never cease to confuse me. because even after al straight told dolcetto he was 14, dol was still like “I REALLY WANNA SMACK HIM but i’d just hurt my hand so you’re off the hook”, he’s angry like 85% of his dialogue in the manga... i’m just confused. where are you seeing the “uwu pupper~” persona. you can write it, that’s fine, i don’t care, just don’t get irritable when i don’t write him like a cute puppy. because here he is. suggesting we just kill izumi because she’s being troublesome. yeet. ...he’s an asshole.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? ♠ || whatever, just don’t be a dick or speak badly about me or him in my presence because, flawed as he is and while i won’t make excuses for him, i’ll stand up for him. go somewhere else, my dude. i, personally, don’t have the energy for your negativity. nor do i have the patience.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? ♠ || i’m more okay with people correcting my spelling (gently). because of the way i taught myself to read, i’d be FUCKED if auto-correct or spell-check didn’t exist. i also google correct spellings constantly. so spelling, yeah, i already know that i’m terrible at it so feel free to correct type-os or spelling mishaps, it ain’t no thang.

grammar i’m a bit... pickier about. because sometimes i’ll purposely do a “grammatical error” because the punctuation or otherwise further drives the pacing or mood i’m trying to give my writing. i may not know ALL the rules but i break them from time to time... FOR THE ART.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? ♠ || i wanna say i am?? while i definitely do want to seriously explore and flesh out and grow dol as a muse and character, i’m “not above” goofing around, poking fun at him, or just being plain silly on the dash. RPing is escapism for me and i strive to keep my blog a peaceful safe haven on the dashboard, both for myself and my followers.

i try to communicate to the best of my ability and despite my anxieties, and while i may not be able to follow or RP with EVERYONE (for obvious reasons) i’m open to interacting with ... pretty much anyone who throws me a bone. i’ll speak up if i’m not down for a plot or interested in a certain relationship or interaction, but i’m certainly not going to be rude or dismissive about it. i know what that feels like. i’d say yeah, though! i think i’m pretty chill. e-e you tell me.

#♦: ooc answer .#[ ;0; THIS WAS FUN ]

3 notes · View notes

holaafrica · 4 years

Photo

New Post has been published on http://holaafrica.org/queer-lockdown-essential-workers/

Queer Lockdown – Essential Workers

By Tshegofatso Senne (@mbongomuffin), Illustrated by studiostudioworkwork

LGBTQIA+ people have been particularly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. In a country that very rarely prioritises the needs of our community, circumstances have worsened during the pandemic, especially as the poor and working class face greater risks. LGBTQIA+ people are at the intersection of multiple vulnerable communities, with those who are immunocompromised, living with HIV/AIDS, unemployed, those who are homeless, refugees and others who are forced to live with homophobic family members. Even within non-governmental organisations, funding very rarely prioritises our community.

Regardless of this, queer people are still working tirelessly as essential workers across a range of sectors. They are working in our food stores, within public transport and media, they’re within cleaning, sanitation and security services, at our pharmacies and banks, they’re helping bury our loved ones and take care of far more within the healthcare sector. Queer people have always done care work and yet, they are often the first to be forgotten or pushed aside.

I was able to speak to three queer medical practitioners to hear about their experiences working during this time; just how it is that our community is uniquely affected within a pandemic and how they’re coping with that.

Buhle Radebe*, a nurse at a public hospital in Johannesburg is a queer woman who lives with her mother and brother, notes how fortunate she feels to be in close quarters with a family that is completely accepting of her sexual identity.

“Some people are lucky to have homes that are allow for their full expression. Unfortunately, with schools closed many have had to leave residences and are now stuck in abusive spaces,” she says. Whether we are out or not, being in a lockdown period with a family that is unaccepting or oblivious to the person you are is immensely terrifying for many.

“They can’t be themselves entirely, having to change the way they speak or dress. They’re dying for this time to end so they can remove themselves from that space and environment. They can longer seek safety at school, work or with friends, there’s no easy way to preserve themselves.”

Dr. Anastacia Tomson, a medical doctor, author and activist is a trans woman in Cape Town. She notes that housing is a huge problem that she’s seen patients and queer individuals alike facing. This is definitely not a new conversation, the effects of COVID-19 add a different element to the frustrating experiences of queer people currently; the pandemic has worsened homelessness. Having a safe place to call home and having access to loved ones that understand their identities is not always the case.

“I think as with any socio-economic phenomenon it’s always the marginalised populations who are hit the hardest and not always in ways we even understand,” shared Anastacia. “The reason it’s so difficult right now is because we didn’t really recognise or pay enough attention to how lacking these structures were before the pandemic. So now we find ourselves in a space where we need them and don’t know where to start.”

While NGOs attempt to bridge the gaps between the needs of the community and the actual service government provides, this is a systemic issue. Worse still, even the services that the government does provide often result in incredibly traumatic experiences for queer individuals who are able to access them.

“This is the dilemma as a queer person, the majority of healthcare providers we go to are not necessarily going to be part of the community, they aren’t going to have the context, they aren’t going to have the understanding,” shared Anastacia.

Accessing general healthcare comes with immense trauma and red-tape that’s used to discriminate against the community. Trans-identifying individuals cannot access specialists they need as easily now, those without updated ID documents with affirming gender markers find this even more difficult. Many are dead-named, misgendered and treated condescendingly which becomes a greater problem when such a large part of the population cannot access healthcare because they’re aware of the trauma involved in doing so.

Many queer medical practitioners are having to work as much as possible in order to allow for access to medical services, across sectors. Aware of the unique challenges the community faces, these practitioners are working extra hard to ensure that queer people have access to and feel safe to seek necessary medical care.

Dr. Melusi Dhlamini, Clinical Executive at Marie Stopes South Africa and a medical doctor, is a queer man who is determined to ensure that all who need to access sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR) during the pandemic are able to. Reported (and legal) abortions for 2019 sat at 105000; one can only imagine how this number has plummeted during the pandemic, with so many having less access to services during lockdown.

“When lockdown started there was a feeling of SRHR not being essential. Every resource is being redirected for COVID. This is part of flattening the curve and I get that, but then what is deemed as essential? What is the cost once you delay an abortion? We have a limited amount of time, 20 weeks to work with. People don’t get the importance of this conversation,” he shared with me.

This time has forced doctors to be more innovative, which is exactly what Melusi did. He became the first South African doctor to complete an at-home abortion. While there was some pushback from providers who worried about safety, Melusi trained providers and did the first few himself. At the time of this interview, 28 May 2020, they had completed 257 at-home abortions and continue to receive over 20 calls a day from people who look to access this service.

“If you’re less than 9 weeks pregnant you call in and are screened to exclude anything that could put you at risk of having an ectopic pregnancy and whether you have medical conditions that would preclude you from getting an at-home abortion. Once that’s done we send you the medication or you can come collect. You are counselled on how the process will work, someone from Marie Stopes, available 24/7, is directed to you should you need guidance or questions.”

This service has allowed so many to access this service privately. It’s also reached areas that don’t have centres in them; places in the Northern Cape, Limpopo and Mpumalanga, especially.

The LGBTQIA+ community is disproportionately impacted by the various ways this pandemic has put additional strain on how the community is able to access healthcare in an already difficult system. Oftentimes we already have significantly lower health outcomes because of the discrimination we face and without medical aid this is exacerbated. Individuals within the community are encounter hyper-medicalisation as trans or intersex people, or have procedures done on them without their consent. Queer refugees cannot access medical care and face increasing risks when relocating to find safety. Additionally, many procedures that the queer community may need are deemed as non-urgent and postponed or cancelled during the pandemic.

Anastacia, whose work includes providing gender-affirming healthcare to trans patients, speaks on this overall impact. Patients are unwilling to come out to the medical rooms or clinic, and if they do travel it’s challenging due to lockdown restrictions. A lot of patients are struggling with their finances, a lot more don’t have secure housing and this makes life excruciatingly difficult.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty right now and that makes gender-affirming care more difficult to do. Many public sector clinics have had to restrict their operations because of the pandemic. We definitely know that gender-affirming healthcare is essential and scientifically it’s proven to improve life expectancy, quality of life, adverse outcomes, affects depression, anxiety, substance use, etc. You can’t make the argument that this work is not essential. There are many people who would like to use this pandemic as a reason to shut down access to queer healthcare services but I think it’s our responsibility as clinicians and activists not to let them do that.”

This has definitely been the experience of Melusi, who says that many hospitals and clinics have taken this time as a justification to stop prioritising abortions, even though the need has not subsided. He talks through the various situations he’s had to deal with since the beginning of lockdown.

“I was so upset when I called to a hospital in the Eastern Cape and found out they had only done 2 abortions in 2 months. They have 40 people on the waiting list, many who are already past 10 weeks. The head of the department had no plan. Pre-COVID this clinic would have patients lining up at 5am just to make sure they could access this service,” Melusi shared. “At Bara they only see 4 or 5 clients a day and the demand is huge. They have a working list and prioritised clients are around 20 weeks. So if you’re 12/13 weeks you’re going to wait until they have no choice but to squeeze you in. This is the reality of South African healthcare.”

This, indeed, is the reality of South African healthcare.

As a nurse, Buhle feels this reality in a completely different way than the doctors above. Nurses, as vital as they are to healthcare are often treated as unimportant. Within the public hospital where she works, nurses have seldomly been given information about procedures or what’s happening in the hospital. Her ward, paediatric medical, was changed into a COVID-19 ward with little to no information and they were simply told they would now be testing patients; this occurred with them barely having access to sufficient Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).

“They were dishonest about the first suspect COVID patient we had. At the time we didn’t have PPE at all, there weren’t even masks because people were stealing things. Alcohol sanitiser was being stolen, on Monday we had 20 boxes but by Friday there were only 6,” Buhle recollected. “I told them they can’t put us at risk like that. Granted, it’s our jobs to take care of patients but at the end of the day our health must come first as well. At the end of the day we go back to our families, most of my colleagues are married with kids. I live with my mother and my brother is back from school. My mother has a heart condition so I said no, I’m not going to put my mother at risk like that.”

This isn’t just in this hospital, as confirmed by Melusi. Healthcare workers all across the country are having to deal with levels of dishonesty that pose a huge risk for them.

“One of my friends working in Pretoria was simply told, ‘You’re not seeing psychiatric clients anymore, you’re doing COVID work. Thanks, bye.’ There was a lot of uproar. They received no training. People who work in psych wards don’t usually touch patients and now they’re being made to test people without training.”

There’s a high level of frustration that then affects the quality of work done as well as the morale within their jobs. These are some of the factors that can easily lead to incorrect results; how good can a specimen be when sent to the lab if there’s knowledge lacking in how to collect it.

“A friend who usually works with rape victims was told that they would be seeing less of these clients and they’d be working in roadblocks to help with testing from now on. They were also not trained, simply thrown in the deep end. You are just told, there’s no discussion, even with people with conditions and diseases that put them at risk for contracting COVID. No screening was done to ensure that they wouldn’t be putting their lives at risk.”

The strain on healthcare workers is not new, but has grown exponentially in the time of COVID-19. There’s fear, anxiety and uncertainty.

“We don’t know when things are going to get really bad, we’re not even there yet, Anastacia shared. “It’s now a lot more difficult to maintain boundaries and leave work at the office. It just hasn’t been possible. Over the past two months more than ever in recent memory my work has been slipping outside of office hours and I have to attend to patients and check on them after hours. It becomes a challenge. At the same time it’s the realisation that a lot of the coping measures that we use in our day-to-day lives have also been denied to us in this lockdown process.”

Anastacia touches on an incredibly important note here, the use of substances, tends to be higher amongst queer populations. The adversity so many of us face in our personal lives, with family or loved ones, co-workers and complete strangers, pushes many to find various coping mechanism. “Whether they’re deemed healthy or not, they become necessary for survival. Now being denied access to that can be a significant challenge.”

The impact of this pandemic on LGBTQIA+ is continuously expanding beyond what we know. Housing, food and financial security are priorities, with mental healthcare opening up more questions about accessibility. We have always created our own communities and support structures and now many are completely cut off from those, unable to interact with friends and acquaintances outside of home to feel understood and supported. The effects on mental health are numerous and we’re only going to be aware of the overall impact as time goes by. Those without access to smart phones and affordable internet are not even able to access virtual mental health services right now.

Buhle notes that more holistic support structures are necessary. Nurses working with COVID patients are not receiving proper PPE or a danger allowance (an additional sum of money given to workers in high-risk environments) and she they can’t afford medical aid to be able to go for therapy. She notes that the issue needs to be addressed systemically, “They may give you that allowance but if you do catch COVID and, god forbid, you die that allowance stops. It’s given to you for the time you’re working within the ward. So yes, give us money but we need support as well. If I die what does my family do after?”

“This is a crisis,” Melusi shares. “Workers are kept in the dark when there are cases of COVID, people are sent to do testing without training, wards and whole hospitals are closing, workers are not showing up to work because of these issues and work morale is incredibly low.”

So what exactly can be done within our own communities?

“Now is the time to build community-based resources where we figure out how to support this community and upskill our people so that we can provide ourselves with these services,” Anastacia said. “In order for someone to be able to get mental health assistance, we need the financial access, we need someone to be available to assist. That person needs some degree of training and fair compensation.”

Mutual aid is not a new solution for our communities. We’ve been denied the opportunities, education, training and development so long that we felt it was best to invest in ourselves.

Anastacia places great importance on this, “I think maybe this should really serve as the pivot for us to recognise that now is our wake up call, that we have to start building and growing and developing those resources that have within our own community so not to fall by the wayside. We also have to look after ourselves.”

These healthcare workers do phenomenal and often underappreciated work for the community and their role in ensuring accessible healthcare is undeniable. Our community is uniquely affected by this pandemic, battling access combined with prejudice; it is natural to wonder how we can create systems of mutual aid and development of shared resources for the community. I leave you with this: what do queer futures look like and what can we do where we are, with what we have to inch closer to futures where we are prioritised?

*Pseudonym used to preserve the interviewee’s anonymity

This article was commissioned by GALA as part of the Queer Lockdown project, with the support of SAIH (Norwegian Students’ and Academics’ International Assistance Fund).

#COVID #queer #Politics &amp; Lifestyle

1 note · View note

oursexualexperiencesarewith-blog · 4 years

Text

The Evolution of Media And Porn

I’ve been fortunate enough to grow up in a sex positive household. No anatomical question was off limits, and as i’ve gotten older I am understanding why this topic was talked about more often than most families do. Being open to discussion about sex and sexuality comes with a bunch of pros for everyone. You feel more in tune with your body, better body acceptance, confidence in saying “no” to something you are uncomfortable doing sexually, safer sex, and a better sense of self love, etc. For most young women and men the idea of their sexuality and what sex is like is such a daunting, but exciting thing to tackle when the time comes. Typically, before most people experiment with sex they watch porn, read an erotic magazine, or go to the strip club. By doing this they are discovering what their preferences are; men or women, short or tall, athletic build or skinny, feet, butt, or breasts type of person. Are you a tattoo person or do you want the skin to be clear and smooth?

After watching a few episodes from the series Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On (Season 1) it really made me realize how much media controls our consumption of porn, and the dangers of media crossing over to the adult industry. The adult film industry wasn’t always so reliant on media just like most things porn needed to grow with the times too. This made me think about the consumption of porn in each generation and how the media has helped us evolve into such a successful industry today.

Baby boomers had fewer resources to educate themselves on sex and sexuality. Things like Playboy magazines, strip clubs, call girls and VHS tapes were their only options. In an era where sex wasn’t an open topic for conversation it made it harder to learn and explore your seuality in privacy.

It’s not until the Gen X era that you see the internet as another accessible resource for sex. During this time, porn became more readily available to viewers in a much more discrete way, or so we’d like to think. The internet era made it a dream come true for people who were ashamed of what they found sexually arousing. You no longer needed to go to an adult store to buy or view (and steal???) porn. You had it all inside the comfort of your own home. Because of all these additional technological advancements there's more access, openness, and privacy about sexuality.

Gen Z is when technology, media, and peoples desires to stay more discrete created much more opportunities for people consuming porn and those working in the industry. The porn sites became more advanced to what people liked, the adult film industry started hiring more diverse women and men, and camming became a popular hobby for most young people who wanted to make some money without ever needing to leave their homes.

The millennial era is where you start seeing major changes to the adult industry and the connections to what we have learned in our Humanities class so far. The best way to describe the millennial generation in terms of sexuality and the sex industry is how customized it has become, and how sex has become a very common topic in media today. Your sexual experience could be customized to the point where it could replace an actual human. Vice’s show “Slutever” covered this idea in Slutever: Inside the World of VR Porn. Due to the Coronavirus outbreak, the media has completely taken over the porn industry in ways that it has never done before. With stripclubs and adult industry studios being shut down until further notice, creators are needing to use media to their fullest potential in order to lessen the financial blow. How The Porn Industry Is Being Affected By COVID

Have you ever noticed how sex scenes in films made in the boomer generation differ from those in the Gen X era? Or how those differ from the ones we see now? I’d say that the sex scenes that we see today are much more realistic and raw which is why it is so akward when they come on during family movie night. Media has evolved in showing sex, but it’s also evolved in how they show and portray same sex couples, trans, non-binary people, and more! I think we’ve almost seen it all people!!!

OnlyFans is a subscription-based platform that allows for creators, influencers, and business owners to sell their content. However, sex workers have accounted for most of their finnacial sucesses in the past year. For most adult film stars this is the site that they have migrated to while the adult film industry is on temporary shut down. If not on OnlyFans they are camming, or making their own amateur films. People who have never have experience in sex work are using the plartform to get into it, and making a lot of money by doing it! How OnlyFans Changed Sex Work Forever

So how does all of this relate to the things we are learning in class? I think this relates more to all of Week One’s materials because it had to do with social media and technology. The two articles on smartphones in our generation relates directly to what we are seeing in the adult industry now. We are in a time that has forced everyone to learn and use social media in order to stay connected to everyone. Now that work and school are mainly remote our human interaction is little to none. This has been weeding out the people who know how to use it and those who don’t. Same goes for the people in the adult film industry. Those who don’t have much experience in the technical/media side of porn are probably having a harder time adapting to the new way of the industry. Younger people who have grown up using technology are succeeding during this time and possibly making more money than they did before. You see kids who are freshly 18 partaking in camming and OnlyFans because of how similar the algorithms and platforms are to the social media we’ve been using for years. OnlyFans is what I would call a hybrid child of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

However, when you mix young adults, sexuality, and media together it isn’t always sunshines and rainbows. There are plenty of cons to this industry and just sexuality in general. For example, in this past week's readings on Dana Boyd's "It's Complicated" she studies teenagers behaviors and consumptions of social media. She covered topics like unhealthy sexual encounters and leaked nude images which ties into being harassed/bullied online. Most young people aren’t always aware of the trouble they can get if they are messing around with someone younger than the age of 18 or vice versa. Being young and having access to social media can be dangerous to both parties involved. Younger people can be easily tricked into believing that the person they are talking to is who they say they are. Most young people don’t find it sexy to ask if the other is at least 18, but it’s so important to do.

Boyd also discussed sexual solicitations which can be used to blackmail or harass someone.

“With the rise of social media, many safety advocates presumed that sexual solicitations would spike. Repeating their study in 2006 with an identical definition to allow for comparisons, CCRC found that one in seven minors had been sexually solicited online, a 5 percent decline from 2000. 32 Other scholars also found that youth were far more likely to be problematically solicited in online environments that were previously popular but were no longer considered cool.” (Boyd, p. 112)

This reminds me of an Episode from the Netflix show Sex Education in which a photo of Ruby’s genitalia gets sent around the whole school by an “unknown person” to “vagina shame” her. (Spoiler alert) the unknown suspect ends up being Olivia, her best friend who got a hold of the picture and began anonymously sending it around to everyone in the school to get back at her for being a bully. With the creation of phones, smartphones, and social media nudes have been a popular form of communication between young teens and adults. Especially so with the invention of Snapchat in which you can send media and it will go away within 20 seconds. If you screenshot or screen record the other person is notified which has deterred many from partaking in that action, but not everyone. Many people have had their nudes leaked that way which goes to show how social media can have a negative impact on teens and young adults' lives.

Emma Mackey On The Specific Episode

1 note · View note

dragonindigo245 · 5 years

Text

Muffled

Tags: N/A

Warnings: Transphobia, a dash of angst but mostly light hearted stuff.

Summary: Virgil Nix hasn’t spoken once to his friends he’s known for 9 years. He is mute from his overwhelming social anxiety but around them he can finally feel safe.

————

-Elementary school, 5th grade, January of 2010-

“Hey? Who’s the new kid?”

Logan didn’t bother to look up from his book. “And you expect me to have this knowledge?” Roman shrugged. “I dono. He’s quiet like you.” Logan scoffed at this. “I am not quiet. I speak quite often.” Roman rolled his eyes. “Fair... Actually speaking of that, the new guy hasn’t talked once. Not even when he was asked to introduce himself yesterday. Just pulled his hood up and it stayed like that all day.” Logan glanced at the new shadow in the corner of the class. “He’s looking at us you know. You could just talk to him instead of discussing him with me.”

Romans’ head snapped up to meet the figures heterochromic eyes. He quickly looked back at his desk and Roman turned back to Logan. “You know what? I’m just gonna say hi.” Logan finally looked up from his book properly. “I couldn’t have thought of a better plan. You are a true genius Roman.” Roman held back a laugh. “Yeah yeah. I know it was your idea.”

Roman approached the desk in the corner with the figure and posed dramatically. “Hello there! My name is Roman! I couldn’t help but notice your keen interest in our conversation.” The figure held up a hand in a jester to wait and opened a black notebook with a big storm cloud on the front. He flipped through the pages filled with words and stopped at the first blank page he reached. He grabbed a pen from beside him and began to write.

“I couldn’t help but notice your keen interest in my presence.”

They turned the notebook so Roman could read it. He chuckled and waved a hand in dismissal. “Touchè. What’s your name, dark one?” They tapped the pen against their notebook nervously before writing, “I go by Virgil. I like that name better though.” Roman smiled and extended his hand dramatically. “Well then Virgil, Lord Of Darkness...” He rolled his tongue at Virgil’s name. “Would you care to join me and my friends? The professor shouldn’t be in for another ten minutes or so!” Virgil pointed at Logan curiously. Roman nodded in confirmation. “Yeah that’s one of them. The others will be coming in soon! What do you say?”

Virgil played with his hoodie sleeves and nodded. Roman pulled him up out of his seat and Virgil barely had time to grab his notebook and pen before being pulled away. Logan looked up from his book at the slam of Romans hand against his desk. “Salutations Roman... and...?” Virgil opened back up his notebook and pointed to his name. Logan put his own book down and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you Virgil. I apologize for our conversation about you right in front of you.”

——————

-Preforming Arts College, Sophomore Year, December of 2019-

“Oh Ur-sulk-ula!” Virgil rolled his eyes and looked up from the couch. Roman loomed over him with a mischievous grin. “You know what today is?” Virgil pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the notes app. There he typed, “It is Wednesday my dudes.” Roman chuckled at the reference. “Okay yes. I’m meaning what do we have to do today?” Virgil’s mind began to race. What was he forgetting? What was going on? Was he in trouble? Would his other roommates insult hi-

“Calm down there Meanie in the Lamp.. I can see worry painted all over that white foundation. Today is our day off!” Seemingly on cue Patton opened the door and he walked in with Logan, talking about some sort of animal. Roman ignored them. “Today Patton planned the board game day! I hope you got your game ready because I’m about to crush you!”

Virgi sneered and typed into his notes quickly, “Bring it on Fairy-fail Prince.” Roman gasped and held a hand to his chest. “You wound me emo!” Patton tisked at them. “Virgil, inform Roman that you’re-” Patton held up a board game labeled “SORRY!” Virgil snickered while Logan acted as if he was insulted. Patton’s smile traveled over to him. “Oh come on Logan! You know making dad jokes is my-” Patton now held up a board game labeled “LIFE!” Both Roman and Virgil broke out laughing while Logan visibly cringed.

Patton looked down at Virgil on the couch. “What game did you pick?” Virgil typed in “That’s a surprise for the end of the day.” Roman laughed. “I bet your game is not nearly as glamorous as mine.” Virgil rolled his eyes amused. They would just have to wait and see.

—————

-High school, 10th grade, April of 2015-

“MY DAUGHTER SHOULDN’T BE DISADVANTAGED LIKE THIS!!!”

“Mrs. Nix, I assure you that we were unaware. Your daughter claimed she was male so we treated her as such. I do not see why she couldn’t identify as one but if you say she was lying for attention and truly isn’t trans, I will make sure her teachers know.”

“WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!”

Patton looked to the open office door next to his locker. Something was going on in there and it wasn’t pretty. He finished putting away his school stuff and curiosly peered in. There were three people Mr. Sanders or the principal, a tall and frightening woman, and... Virgil? Virgil’s hood was over his face and his sleeves were pulled up over his hands. He was visibly panicking and nobody had noticed.

The tall woman glared at Mr. Sanders and slammed her hands into the table. “IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL WILL BE SHUT DOWN!! Veronica, Go to your class unless you have something to say on the- I’m not reading some words out of your dumb notebook. You can speak just fine.” Virgil put his notebook away and got up to leave the room.

He almost got out the door before he realized Patton was standing right in front of him. The two adults didn’t seem to notice them. Patton glanced at them to make sure before tucking Virgil under his arm and leading him away.

They walked down a few halls and came to a taped off classroom. Stepping inside, Patton sat Virgil down. “Hey Virge... you doing alright? Think you can write for me what happened or are you too panicked?” Virgil curled his knees up to his chest and nodded. He slowly opened his bag and took out the notebook (which had a blank page bookmarked) and a pencil. “My mother just interveining intervening with the school. I just messed up is all.”

Patton read over the page and sat down beside Virgil. “Well... even if you messed up... I’m sure it’s not that bad! If you tell me what happened then I’m sure we can work it out!” Virgil nodded and stared at the paper for a few minutes, seemingly trying to write with his eyes. Eventually, with the help of Patton rubbing his back, Virgil picked the pencil back up.

“My mom hates that I’m trans. She claims it’s a made up thing and I’m lying to spite her and make her look bad, that being trans isn’t real and I will always be female. I messed up when I went to my dads for the weekend and asked for surgery to make me... less feminine. My dad was on board but my mom wasn’t. I should have just stayed quiet.”

Virgil barely finished writing his last sentence before Patton barreled into him with a hug. He almost fell onto his other side but caught himself, returning the hug as soon as he could sit back up. They hugged quietly, barely feeling the passage of time.

Patton eventually forced himself out of the hug but immediately took both of Virgil’s hands. “Virgil... Your mom is either going to have to accept who you are or she is going to have to suffer silently. I will not allow her to hurt you like this. You are allowed to be whoever you want to be. She has no say in who you are. The only person who has a say is you. We should go tell Mr. Sanders though.” Virgil nodded and immediately pulled himself back into a hug with Patton. Once again they sat silently.

Everything else could wait. For now this was all Virgil needed.

—————

-Preforming Arts College, Sophomore Year, December of 2019-

Evening came by quickly, too quickly for Virgil’s taste. Patton looked up from the Monopoly box as he shoved the lid back on. “So what game next? Oh! Virgil what about your game?”

Virgil’s head snapped up and he smiled nervously. Patton’s expression changed to the worried look of a parent. “It’s alright Virge. I’m sure we’ll love it.” Virgil nodded his head and moved to the floor. He dragged out a box from under the couch that he set on the table. A hush fell on the room as everyone stared at it. There in bright white words across the box read “Taboo, The Game of Unspeakable Fun”

Logan was the first to speak up. “Virgil... Do you know the rules of Taboo?” Virgil smile grew bigger with nervousness. Roman looked around. “I don’t? What could be so bad about it?” The room was quiet for a few more moments before Patton answered his question. “You have to speak in order for the game to work.” Roman looked back at Virgil in shock. “What?!? You picked a game you can’t play?”

Everyone turned to Virgil searching for some kind of answer. Virgil took careful, deep breaths and closed his eyes. After multiple breaths he opened his eyes and quietly replied aloud, “I feel safe enough to speak around you all now.”

Patton squealed and went around the table to hug Virgil. “OH MY GOODNESS! VIRGIL THAT’S- YOU ACTUALLY SPOKE!” Logan sat strait up while Roman put a hand over his own mouth. Patton started crying and laughing, burying his face into Virgil’s hoodie, who returned the hug back slowly as a grin spread across his face. “Yeah... I did.” Patton hugged him even harder at the end of his second sentence, so hard it looked painful. If it was then Virgil didn’t react.

Roman got up from his spot and wrapped his arms around Virgil, lying his head on the emos purple hair. Logan wasn’t far behind in the hug pile. They didn’t dare move for a long while, happy to finally hear their best friend voice himself.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts creativity #ts virgil #ts anxiety #virgil sanders #ts logic #ts logan #logan sanders #ts morality #ts patton #patton sanders #ts thomas #character thomas #my fic

25 notes · View notes

iammikedee · 4 years

Text

What is a binder? Why do trans people use them? Which binder is right for me?

Hello! This post is not only for trans folk researching binders, but for anyone who has ever wondered what the hell we’re talking about when we say “binders.” We aren’t talking about the ones with three rings (although who doesn’t love a good three-ring binder amirite?) We’re talking about a piece of fabric that we wear in order to flatten our chests.

First of all, anyone can use binders, not just trans guys. Nonbinary folk often use them. Cosplayers use them. Even women can use them. Anyone who needs a flatter chest can use a binder. They are however extremely helpful to transgender men who have not had top surgery/don’t want top surgery, but still want a flat chest. Here are some questions I’ve been asked, and haphazard answers:

What does a binder look like? Like a shirt. Some of them function like muscle shirts and go all the way down to your waist (like a tank top) and others are more like crop tops and don’t go past your belly. Some binders are just stretchable fabric you slip over your head. Others have metal claps. Sometimes the clasps are on the side, and sometimes you can pull the binder over your shoulders like a backpack and it clasps in front. Sometimes binders don’t even have straps.

Does it hurt to wear one? It doesn’t really “hurt,” per se, but they get uncomfortable after a while. It’s important to find one that makes you look the way you want to look without completely hindering your ability to breathe. It took me a long time before I figured out which binders really fit and which didn’t. That said, if you’re wearing a binder with clasps or seams, they do like to dig into your skin after a while.

Where do you buy them? Online. Unfortunately you can’t just go to Target or Walmart and buy one (yet. Hopefully that changes with the times.) If you’re operating on a strict budget, I recommend browsing Amazon. I also recommend Underworks and GC2B.

How much do they cost? Depends on where you get one. The cheapest one I’ve bought is about $20, and the most expensive is more around $40-50. Keep in mind that I don’t have a lot of money. If you have the means, you can get much better quality binders.

How do I know what the “right” binder is? Dude I don’t even know what the right binder is lol. It’s a struggle every trans guy I’ve known has faced. Unfortunately the only way to find the “right” one is by trying them out. Go with whatever you think looks comfortable and is within your price range. If it doesn’t work, send it back and try again. It is not a fun process :(

Are they dangerous to wear for a long time? They can be, yeah. You need to let your chest breathe, even if it’s dysphoric. Wearing binders excessively can cause problems with your skin, posture, muscles, breathing, all sorts of fun stuff.

Other tips:

If you’re non-Asian and you’re shopping at an Asian store, you’re gonna want to order a binder at least 2 sizes larger.

Take off your binder when you sleep.

Get a looser binder for exercising. I know it doesn’t feel good not to be as flat as you want to be, but please know that exercising builds toward improving your body, and part of your ideal body is your lungs!

DON’T BIND WITH TAPE, EVER!

You can use your binder as a slingshot to fling your packer across the room whenever you want!

Binder Critique Time!

“BaronHong Plus Size Chest Binder Cotton Vest Tank Tops for Tomboy Lesbian.” Yeah, that’s really what it’s called, and yeah, it’s an awful name. You can find it on Amazon. But it’s my favorite binder. It’s essentially a normal tank top with another layer of fabric inside meant to compress your chest. The inner-fabric is adjustable with a series of metal clasps on the side. The clasps are covered by a strip of material and they don’t dig into my skin. The binder portion makes me flatter than any other binder I’ve owned, while the shirt part is breezy. Comes in black, gray and white, $17.99.

“Underworks Econo High Power Chest Binder Top.” This is my second favorite binder. It binds very evenly, but doesn’t make me completely flat. It is a very comfortable binder however and I own two for working out and hanging out at home. There are no clasps, just comfortable, stretchable fabric. This one is a half-binder, meaning it’s not a full-length shirt. Comes in black, (Caucasian) nude, and white, $19.99.

“TOKYO-T Chest Binder for Women Cosplay.” Another great name, right? Sarcasm aside, this one you wear like a backpack by pulling it over your shoulders and clasping it in the front. All in all it makes my chest pretty flat. That said, this binder doesn’t quite contain the very top of my chest. A couple of the clasps have bent as well. Not super good quality, but flattening. Comes in white, black, and beige, $20.99.

“GC2B Nude Collection.” GC2B is a great company to order from. They’re very pro-trans and queer affirming. I have a couple binders from their nude collection and they are the most comfortable ones I own, hands down. Unfortunately they don’t work with my body type; if you’re a little chubby and your chest is bigger, it might spill out the sides of the binder. The part that actually compresses your chest doesn’t stretch all the way around and the arm holes made your chest-fat spill out. I still wear one of these around the house sometimes, but you can see the fat-spillage if I wear a tight enough shirt. These binders do work for a lot of people though, and they’re one of the only places that sell nude binders for people of color. They come in half-binders ($33) and full binders ($35).

“BaronHong Tomboy Trans Lesbian Cotton Chest Binder Plus Size Short Tank Top.” It’s funny because this is the same company that makes my favorite binder (listed above) but this one is, in my opinion, the worst. This one is a half-binder. The material that compresses your chest doesn’t cover everything so fat spills out of the top and creates a weird bulge. There are clasps up the side and they’re more uncomfortable than any other binder I’ve used. The bottom of the binder likes to try and roll up, too. Do not recommend. Comes in black, and some other colors I don’t care about because it’s literally the worst. $19.99.

Those are just the binders I have tried. I strongly recommend doing your own research if you’re buying one. And remember, I’m chubby. If you’re skinny, then binders that didn’t work for me might work for you!

If you have any questions, as always, feel free to reach out. Peace!

#transgender #transgendersupport #trans #transsupport #ftm #femaletomale #binders #chestbinders #chestbinder #queer #queersupport #lgbtq #lgbtqsupport #transeducation #transgendereducation

1 note · View note

metalchick19-blog · 5 years

Text

The Bowers Gang: Ship #9 - Victor Criss

Request: Alrighty I’ll have you ship me with whoever you think personally~ my hair is blonde and I’m short asl, but I also have a tattoo of a black rose on the side of my wrist. A lot of my friends tell me that I can always make them laugh with what I say or do and a lot of them will often come to me for advice or if they need to rant about something, which honestly just makes me feel even better as a person. I’m someone who will always stand by you if you’ve never done me dirty and need help. I do have a goofy side that only my closest friends see everyday, which is honestly sometimes just me as person. I think of myself as a fairly outgoing person and I’m never one to just stand in the corner of a party. Some things I need to work on are opening up to other people when talking about feelings and problems I have instead of just bottling them up. If there’s someone that I don’t like, I make it very clear and can be totally heartless towards them. I can also stress myself out easily and get overwhelmed by everything that’s going on. I’ve been through some shit, so I have a better understanding of other people’s hardships than most people. Being friends with me means that you always have someone to go to for laughs, but also someone who won’t sugar coat anything for you. Being in a relationship with me means you’ll actually have someone devoted to you and fun times, but you also gotta break down any walls built up. To put it into simpler terms, I’m a pretty chill person who goes with the flow but can get serious when it comes to something that’s important to me and I need to do. A couple of facts about me is that I want to be an elementary school teacher (I love kids so much, more than people my age tbh), I smoke the devils lettuce damn near hourly on a daily (fuck getting drunk, getting high is better), I love going to the beach, driving around downtown with friends, or just taking time to myself in my room to listen to music!

Always traces your rose tattoo absentmindedly when you cuddle/sit next to each other

Finds your transparency hot as hell, because he sees it as an indication of how honest you are

So appreciates the shit out of it, even when you’re being a total icy bitch to someone he doesn’t even know (and learns to assume you have your reasons when he doesn’t understand why)

The guys gave you a designated seat in the Trans-Am because you drive around with them after school so often (like the trooper you are)

You’re on the far left, behind Belch, with Victor in the middle between you and Patrick (very much on purpose)

Victor sometimes comes over to people’s houses to keep you company while you babysit (the ol’ “sneak in the boyfriend routine”)...

... and actually helps with the sitting of the baby, rather than expecting to fuck and/or sit and watch movies like some other teen delinquents we know

But seriously - Victor is straight-up the daddy to your mommy whenever you guys watch kids together, and it’s truly one of the loveliest things ever

Tends to start off awkward at first (he’s very friendly with kids, but has a hard time talking to them in ways they understand since he can’t “dumb down” his language), but always ends up being their literal favorite person by the time the night is over (apart from you, of course)

Entirely because Criss makes funny faces like a pro, keeps the small ones entertained while you warm up dinner, and ties shoes singing the bunny ears song and everything

I.e. He’s “the fun guy”

Also demonstrates an inside voice like nobody’s business, and slides a coaster under every drink (house rules = respected)

Also steps up to do some of the disciplinary things when you can’t get a specific smol one to listen to you

... and is low-key a toddler whisperer about it too

When he has to be the disciplinarian, Victor always just kneels down to the tiny kid’s eye-level (regardless of whether they’re screaming, crying, or otherwise), and casually starts talking to them as if they understand every adult word that’s coming out of his mouth

Which most of them couldn’t possibly do, because toddlers

... But, from the moment they make eye contact with him, the majority of kids go completely serene and just stare at Victor like they do understand what he’s saying, and clean up their act right after he “discusses it” with them

The guy seriously somehow stops all tears/whining/unacceptable behavior just by being like “hey, that’s not cool dude, and here’s why”

It’s legitimately random to the point of being annoying, because there’s no reason getting children in line should be that easy for him (considering it’s insanely difficult for some people that actually have kids)

You insist that the lil’ buns are just reflecting Victor’s calm nature, but his smug smile will always indicate he low-key thinks he’s better at child-care than you

... Which you know isn’t true, but we’ll let him think what he wants to think

He finds it really endearing how well you get along with kids though, and thinks it’s adorable that you’re able to connect with them so easily

You’re the first person he’s ever been with who’s made him think, “She’ll be a really great Mom someday,” and that’s beautiful

You make Victor smile in the moments when he truly gets down on himself

This is a pretty big deal, because he tends to feel the fuck out of things regardless of the emotion

It’s impossible for the majority of people to sway Victor’s mood at all when he’s upset, because it always settles over him so heavily...

... but you somehow do the trick.

Your goofy nature usually bounces off of him at first (he stays in his head, and doesn’t give much response to most of your humor for a while), but you always eventually say something that strikes a cord with him, and elicits a small smirk

... which eventually leads to a smile, which leads to a laugh, which ultimately leads to you talking out his issues with him and lifting his spirits

You’re seriously one of Criss’ main emotional outlets, and I wish I could shake your hand, cause’ that’s an honor

This isn’t a one-way street, though - Victor does the same for you

He noticed early on (before you were even together) that you only tended to talk about positive things/ “surface level” information even after you had been hanging out with the guys for a long time

And to him (i.e. the group psychologist), that made it clear you were trying to keep your distance by not sharing your problems or talking about things that were really important to you

So he made a point of being there for you x1,000,000 when you officially got together

Example: He knows you won’t bring up any of your issues unprompted, so Victor asks how your day is going at every given opportunity

Aka: he provides a chance for you to tell him something’s bugging you

He also jumps on it whenever you show any visible signs of being sad, and straight-up asks you to tell him what you’re feeling because real men aren’t afraid to talk about that jazz

Even though it took time for you to get used to it (i.e. sharing your emotions), it’s now something that’s become a reflex for you

You’ve cried on Victor’s shoulder, shared your previous traumas, let him see you at the peak of rage, and he’s done the same with you; there’s nothing left to hide

The two of you have seriously reached a point where you could tell one another anything on the spot

You’re each other’s permanent comfort and support - simple as that.

When one of you is feeling especially down though, or when you both just feel you’ve earned a break from life (i.e. after exams, or during spring/winter break), you and Victor have “intensive care” smoke sessions at his house

...Tastefully named “intensive care” smoke sessions by the both of you

This basically means hot-boxing Victor’s room all day long (fucking glorious), watching movies in his bed, and playing whatever tapes you want on full blast at random intervals throughout the day

The two of you cycle between just sitting and listening to the music (typically at the peak of your high, when you’re both brain-dead), to talking about incredibly philosophical/incredibly stupid things (”who closes the bus door after the bus driver gets off?”), to raiding Victor’s fridge for munchies until you eventually empty it and have to walk into town for more

Side-note: Victor is smooth as fuck when it comes to being high and acting normal in public

Whenever you guys order food anywhere after you’ve already smoked, he’s always the one who speaks because he never stutters, breaks eye contact, or forgets what he’s saying in the middle

You’ve even seen him get into full, logically sound conversations with people just minutes after taking a bong rip in the Trans-Am (group smoke sessions are a thing too)

The guy legit held it together even when his parents came home in the middle of your smoke session once, and introduced you normally even though you were having a level 10 panic attack, and were not subtle about it (those darting high person eyes were all over the place)

In short, he can basically just revert back to being sober again whenever he wants to, and it’s a major turn-on for stoners everywhere.

*Pointless side-note ended*

You try to get Victor to socialize at the 2-3 house parties Henry forces you all to each month, but he won’t do it

Just stands next to you, quietly sipping his beer and letting his attention drift around the room

Fields small-talk when he has to (he’s not shy or unapproachable - just introverted), but usually just prefers to be the handsome guy standing next to you while you own the spotlight

You’ll forever be the majestic, sociable party dom with a dry-humored wallflower for a boyfriend - enjoy

... he looks at you a lot while you talk to people though, and it’s so obvious he’s thinking about how beautiful you are, because his eyes make it clear he’s focusing on your face rather than your words

So many girls in Derry High hate you because of adorable crap like this - there’s a lot of salt over Victor Criss being so thoroughly taken by someone

Patrick often tries to break you away from Victor at parties, because, like you, he talks easily and likes to try to get into shit (and because he thinks you’re hot/would love to take a girl away from Victor using only the power of his penis)

He’ll randomly show up next you when you’re getting another drink, going to the bathroom... or, really, doing anything other than talking to Victor

...At which point he propositions the shit out of you, and tries to convince you to come upstairs

This has never worked out well for him.

You did play a legitimately sick game of beer-pong together once after you got him to stop coming onto you (for a second), but that was just because you were already buzzed, and felt unusually tolerant towards him

So even though you usually reject him wholeheartedly (and somewhat loudly/angrily), you two will always be remembered as the life of post-homecoming blowout, 1987 (where you made every single shot, and didn’t have to take even one drink between the two of you)

... Still doesn’t change the fact that he’s trying to do you though, and that you’re too loyal to Victor to be feeling it

Even though he won’t participate in other ways when it comes to parties, Victor always dances with you, because he has a specific thing for watching you move to house music

You asked him about it once, and he just said he thinks it’s beautiful because it “accentuates your purity”

If you don’t get what he means, you’re in good company - the guy has an artsy soul.

Interesting side-note: Like Patrick, Henry has low-key wanted to sleep with you from the moment he first saw you, but keeps it heavily under wraps in the interest of not screwing up you and Victor’s relationship

He doesn’t talk to you much, and has a hard time maintaining eye contact even when he does (because guilt and attraction)

Essentially decided that abstinence is key where you’re concerned, and tries not to form much of a connection with you so it’s easier to control himself

Avoids being left alone with you at all costs, and doesn’t acknowledge you much in general

... He eyes you a lot when he gets drunk though (most often, at the parties you go to)

No words, but enough wasted leering to make it clear where his head is at

It’s never escalated into anything, but it’s something you notice.

... And you’ve never told Victor in the interest of preserving their friendship.

* Interesting side-note ended *

Victor tried to take you on a private date to the quarry once (because you’d always told him about how badly you wished there was a beach in Derry), but the guys found out and showed up unexpectedly as soon as the two of you hit the water

... And it was actually your first date.

Meaning Criss was not at all entertained by that bandwagony bullshit.

They literally just came to see you in a bathing suit (hence why they came out of hiding only after you’d gotten in the water), and you’re such a bad bitch that you called them out on it rather than let it be

... But that just earned a predictably creepy affirmation from Patrick (”What, you thought we were gonna’ let Criss keep a body like that all to himself?” *Disgusting Hockstetter cackle as Victor death-stares him into oblivion*), and didn’t amount to anything more than obnoxious laughter on Henry and Belch’s part

Long story short, the guys all stampeded into the water with you, and swimming for 2 became swimming for 5

So, yeah. First date was a group date, and no one was thrilled.

Because of what you’ve been through in life, you understand some of the fucked up situations Victor has experienced better than most other people; as a result of that, you have a unique understanding of his hot/cold feelings about the gang

I.e. You get why it isn’t just black and white for him - other people may see the guys as straight-up evil, but it’s different for Victor, and you get that

Essentially you understand that he’s a ride or die (because genuine loyalty), but that he’s also ready to jump ship in the interest of not becoming something he isn’t; he’s never been able to express that to anyone else

Because you get why Victor feels moved to leave the gang sometimes (and partly because of your own experiences with them), you support him in that direction whenever he mentions it

Being that you don’t sugarcoat things, you confirm for him that the guys aren’t people that would be good for his adult life - he’s always thought that in his head, but has never had another person around who knew the guys personally to corroborate the opinion

Meaning, now that the opinion has been corroborated, it’s kind of huge for him

You may ultimately be the thing that gives Victor the strength he needed to leave the guys, because you help cement his view that it would be the right thing to do

Plus, his relationship with you would fulfill him to an extent where he wouldn’t feel as attached to the gang as before, and he would see himself as being much happier in a future with you than in a future with them

In short, you might change the course of Victor Criss’s entire life - have fun being the best thing that’s ever happened to him

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #The Bowers Gang #the bowers gang headcanons #it

29 notes · View notes

mikeydoodledandy · 5 years

Text

The Box

I’ve decided to go ahead post this here too instead of just the link, as I’m very fond of this fic and was very excited to write some good, wholesome, sexy fun between the boys. No human AU here (though I do love my human AU for them), just a cryptid and his human boyfriend in the bedroom. Barclay’s still trans though.

So as you may have guessed, this fic is very NSFW below the cut, you’ve been warned. You can also read it on Ao3 here if you’d prefer that. Enjoy!

Joseph makes a few fun purchases and Barclay is more than willing to indulge him in testing them out.

“Alright, what’s in the box? You put it right in the middle of our dresser and you’re obviously trying to get me to ask about it, so I’ll bite.” Barclay chuckled, eyeing the package his boyfriend had oh so conspicuously set right where Barclay could see it when he’d come into their room that evening.

Joseph had gone about his usual evening business of getting out of his suit and having a shower while Barclay read on their bed, giving the box in question glances every time he re-entered the room. Finally, freshly donned in a t-shirt and sweats, he padded over to join Barclay on the bed, though he was sans glasses for some reason, appearing to be still wearing his contacts. Barclay finally had to ask when the agent gave the box one more look as he slid onto the mattress next to his partner.

“Was I being a little too obvious? Sorry, I’m just a bit excited and maybe a little embarrassed, so I thought it might be easier to get you to ask first.” Joseph blushed brightly, leaning in and kissing Barclay playfully. The sylph raised an eyebrow, a bemused expression on his face as he set his book aside and leaned into his partner’s kisses.

“Oh yeah? What’s so embarrassing about a box?” He cupped Joseph’s cheek, fingers brushing teasingly against the side of the man’s throat. Joseph looked away, biting his lip to hide a flustered smile. Barclay loved it when he did that; it was one of the first cute things he’d ever noticed Stern do, and he’d only discovered more and more things he loved about the man as they’d gotten closer.

“I may have... ordered some items for us to try out. They’re a bit experimental, but I thought they could be fun.” Joseph shrugged, Barclay raising an eyebrow again.

“Items, you say? Why do I get the feeling this a bit more intimate than your usual bigfoot merch you always buy?” The sylph mused, getting up and grabbing the box from the dresser. It had more weight than he was expecting, the man grabbing his pocket knife before bringing the package back over to their bed where Joseph was still sitting in anticipation.

“I’ll tell you now, I could have actually gotten their sasquatch model but I thought it was perhaps a little too on the nose.” Joseph mused, wiggling in closer as Barclay slit open the tape with his knife and opened up the box.

“Well, now you really have me curious.” It took him a minute to dig through the packing paper before he uncovered two smaller boxes within. One was something named Travus and he couldn’t really tell what it was supposed to be based on the image on the box, but the other was very obviously a giant multicolored dildo with a knot at the base. “Oh wow.”

“Goodness, it’s certainly more.. blatant than I expected.” Cheeks aflame, Stern covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, peeping out between his fingers. “I’m very glad I didn’t get the sasquatch one now.”

“Aw, that might be fun too. It’d be interesting to see just what humans think bigfoot dick looks like.” Barclay snickered, pulling out the dildo box and popping it open. Joseph reached over and grabbed the smaller box, opening it idly though he was obviously more focused on Barclay trying to shake his other purchase free from its packaging.

“Do you even know what that looks like?”

“I... hm.. I don’t actually. Never had the chance to be intimate with another sylph specifically like me, so I can only make assumptions.” Barclay shrugged, finally extracting the dildo from the plastic casing and wiggling it around in amusement. “Now this thing is a beast. We’re gonna have to really get you good and stretched, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose we will.” Joseph grinned, still blushing brightly. Barclay leaned over and kissed him softly, a gesture that the other man readily reciprocated. As their kisses warmed, Barclay idly batted away some of the empty packaging over onto the floor to get it off the bed, giving them more room. It wasn’t til they were both flushed and eager that Barclay pulled away, grinning like a mad fool.

“Well, at least now I know why you kept your contacts in.” He mused, kissing Joseph again as he slid his hand under his boyfriend’s shirt and across the plush skin of his hip.

“That’s not the only thing I’ve made sure I’m prepared for.” Joseph purred, the sheer sensuality of his implication sending shivers up Barclay’s spine.

His partner was fairly flustered and goofy when they had sex until you really got him going, which Barclay loved, but he definitely did know how to crook a sultry word in a way that got the sylph wet when he wanted to. Barclay slid his hand from Joseph’s hip to under the waistband of his sweats, giving his boyfriend’s ass a squeeze. The man had a great ass; the perfect size for Barclay’s big, warm hands.

“Oh, is that so? Now what could you have prepared just for me?” He chuckled as he began to lavish kisses against Joseph’s throat. The man let out a soft whine, tilting his head back to give Barclay full access. However, when Barclay moved in to get closer, he realized the small box Joseph had been opening was still in the man’s lap, distracting him. “..Hey, what is this thing anyway?”

“Hm? Oh.” Joseph blinked, a little dazed, before he realized what Barclay was talking about and looking down with him. “ This is something I got for you. The online store I got the dildo from had them and I’d never seen something specifically made for trans men before, so I thought I’d get it for you to try out. I hope that’s alright.”

“Specifically for trans guys, huh?” Barclay curiously pulled the toy out of the box, tossing the packaging off the side of the bed as well, his partner rolling his eyes. “What? We can pick them up later. I’m not gonna amble over to the trash while I’ve got my horny boyfriend right here.”

“We’re probably going to want to clean the toys before we use them anyway, love. Using something fresh out of the box is a good way to get an infection.”

“Ew. You’re right, but ew. I guess we do need the harness anyway.” Barclay scrunched up his nose before returning his attention to the smaller toy, the dildo set aside for the time being. It was cylindrical, blue and similar to a lot of mastrubation toys he’d seen for folks with dicks, but with the hole considerably smaller. He experimentally wiggled his index finger in the opening, noting the firm grip and suction it formed around his digit. “Huh, interesting. We’ll definitely have to give it a try once we get you good and dicked down.”

“Oh goodness Barclay, do you have to call it that.” Joseph tutted, but he was grinning, his blushing having made it to the tips of his ears.

“Pishaw, you love it.” Barclay smirked, leaning in again and kissing laughter to his boyfriend’s lips. They were awash in giggles and kisses, which ended with the sylph blowing a raspberry on Joseph’s throat and the agent squirming out of his grip from the ticklishness.

“You are an utterly ridiculous man, I hope you know that.” Joseph snickered, hoisting himself off the bed and beginning to clean up the packaging Barclay had discarded.

“Damn right I am. Life ain’t worth living if you can’t be a little bit ridiculous.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Stern before grabbing the two toys off the bed and starting towards their bathroom. “I’ll go wash these puppies off, can you grab the harness once you’re done with that? I get the feeling that getting this beast into it is gonna be a two person job.”

“Oh yes, I hope it actually fits with the knot. I didn’t think about that.”

“Eh, that’s what rubber o-rings are for. As long as this toy is silicone, we can just manhandle it in there.” Barclay started scrubbing down their new toys with a gentle soap, leaving the door open so he could still talk with Joseph. “So where did you find these anyway?”

“I believe the online shop was called Fantasticocks? They had quite a colorful selection, I had a hard time picking just one.”

“Never heard of them. How did you find th-” A realization dawned on Barclay, bringing cheeky amusement to his face. “Babe, did you find them because they specifically have a sasquatch model?”

“No! I- Well.. Maybe. It wasn’t with the intention of buying that model, I was just... you know.. curious to see what sort of designs might be out there and they just happened to be the first result. They had other toys I thought might be fun for us, so that’s what I got.” Joseph sounded suitably flustered, Barclay shaking his head fondly as he finished his scrubbing and rinsing.

“You’re adorable.” Retreating from the bathroom, Barclay found Joseph had cleaned up the floor and extracted Barclay’s more heavy-duty strapon harness from the dresser, as well as condoms and lube. They might only be using a toy and they’d been fluid-bonded for months now, but they’d just found condoms made everything a little more hygienic during cleanup. “I definitely wouldn’t be against getting a bigfoot dildo if you really wanna try it out. Maybe you can show me later.”

“Maybe.” Joseph fidgeted, bringing a smile to Barclay’s face as he picked up the harness, dildo in hand as he tried to figure out how they were gonna get it secured.

“So, got the chunky harness out, huh? Guess that makes sense for something as heavy as this thing, though that does kinda beg the question, did you uh..” Barclay lifted his wrist with his bracelet on it in Joseph’s direction, his partner having gotten back on their bed and was sitting warm at his back. “Were you hoping for this to be on or off? Considering this is the only harness I have that fits my true form.”

“Oh! Erm..” Joseph, rested his chin on Barclay’s shoulder, watching him roughly tug the dildo through the o-ring. “I just got it out due to the girth of the dildo, but it’s whatever you’re more comfortable with, love.”

“I always feel like I gotta be more gentle with you in my true form and this dildo doesn’t exactly give me the impression you want me to be gentle with it.” He frowned as the ring got stuck at the knot despite his pulling. He turned to face Joseph, holding the harness firmly, dick pointed towards the agent. “Hey, do me a favor and pull this as hard as you can.”

“Alright.” Joseph grabbed the rubber shaft, pulling it with all his might and a grunt. “I wish I could just tell you that- Ngh- you don’t have to hold back for me, but- There we go!”

The knot of the toy finally popped through the ring in their joint effort, waving lazily between them now that it was secure in the harness. Barclay chuckled softly, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, I think we both know I can’t do that though. I’m a lot stronger than you in that form no matter how you cut it and I could really hurt you if I went all out.”

“I know. It’s okay, Barclay.” Joseph cupped his boyfriend’s face, kissing him gently before pulling away with a shrug. “I don’t mind, but I feel like my being human deprives you of the pleasure you’d get from sex in your true form. You might have been better off with another sylph-”

“Nope, we’re not gonna start on that.” Barclay pressed a finger to Joseph’s lips, shaking his head before peppering the man with kisses. “I love you, Jo, and I don’t care that you’re human. Making sex a little complicated sometimes isn’t ever gonna be a good enough reason for me to not want to be with you. And I’m gonna kiss the notion right out of you until you finally believe me.”

“I love you too, Barclay. Some days I feel a little amazed by just how lucky I am. You’re everything I could have ever wanted.”

“What, because I’m bigfoot?”

“Because you’re the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most loving man I’ve ever met. And honestly? That means so much more to me than you being bigfoot. Crazy, I know, but it’s true. I came to Kepler on a hunt for a cryptid, but found who I actually needed in my life instead.”

“Who also happened to be bigfoot.”

“Who, also happened to be bigfoot, yes. But I think if you had been human and just an ordinary chef at an ordinary lodge, I would have likely fallen for you all the same.”

“Aw, babe, you’re gonna make me cry, in front of the dildo and everything.” Barclay wrapped Joseph up in his arms and kissed him soundly, the harness squished between them. Their embrace was soft and sweet and full of gratitude; warm intimacy that went beyond simple sexual yearnings.

Barclay slid his fingers under Joseph’s shirt again, squeezing his hips as the agent’s kisses grew more heated. Moving the toy and harness for the time being, Barclay leaned back, pulling Joseph on top of him as their kissing deepened, his boyfriend also working his hands under Barclay’s top.

While the sylph liked to tease his partner from under the fabric of his clothes, Joseph was always far more eager to disrobe his lover. He pushed Barclay’s shirt up to his armpits, Barclay lifting his arms so he could wiggle out of the rest of it, leaving him bare chested. Joseph happily ran his fingers through Barclay’s chest hair at the first opportunity before kissing the other man again, Barclay humming in response.

"Man, you always love that fuzzy chest action, don't you," Barclay teased as Joseph kissed his scars reverently. They'd had the talk early on regarding the do's and don't of what they were comfortable with and his boyfriend knew attention to his top surgery scars were validating and a little arousing for him, even if he couldn’t really feel the sensation there.

"I am fond of it, yes. It's a pleasing texture and you obviously enjoy the attention."

"I do. You got me there."

It didn't take long for Joseph’s reaction to all their touching to become very apparent in his sweats, Barclay smirking and pressing his thigh up against his lover’s groin in response. Joseph bit his lip, rubbing himself against Barclay with a soft groan as Barclay turned the attention of his mouth to Joseph’s throat.

They divested Joseph of his shirt soon after, bodies warm against each other as they fondled and pet their partners in the dance of foreplay. The sweats and pajama pants were quick to follow their kin to the floor, leaving them both men naked in a crush of limbs, hungry touches, and needy kisses to whatever skin they could find.

Joseph’s length pressed heavily against Barclay’s hip as the agent kissed him passionately, fingers tangled in the sylph’s long hair. His skin was dusted with pink and he always made the best noises when he was enjoying something, like Barclay kneading his ass in a way that stretched him just right.

It had taken the man so long to not try to hide his little cries of pleasure and Barclay was proud of how far he’d come and how comfortable he was now. He might blush and fuss, but it was a far cry from the Joseph who went on lockdown when they’d first dipped their toes into sexual intimacy.

Barclay finished working a mark on Joseph’s collar bone, examining it with pride before groping for the lube bottle on their bed. “What do you think, time to get you loosened up?”

“I'm more than a little eager to get going, but are you sure you don’t want me to take care of you first his time?" Joseph asked, settling on top of Barclay as the sylph lubed up his fingers.

“You know how sleepy I get after I cum, babe. If you did me first, I’d fall asleep on you mid-fuck, and nobody wants that.”

“Fine, fine, but I always feel a little guilty that you always attend to me first.”

“Just makes me hotter and wetter for when you do get me off, Jo. Hell, the noises and faces you make alone are almost enough to make me cum.” Barclay smirked, brushing the slick pad of his index finger against his boyfriend’s tight hole.

“Oh you flatter me- Ah!” It wasn't the best position to stretch Joseph that deeply, but getting to see his boyfriend’s face as he pressed a lubed digit into him was one of his favorite indulgences. Joseph had prepped himself in the shower, so he was a little loose already, but a far cry from the stretching he would need to take their new toy.

The man whined keenly as Barclay worked his fingers in one at a time, nails lightly digging into Barclay’s chest as his eyelids fluttered. It took everything in Barclay’s power to actually focus on what he was doing, rhythmically thrusting as he loosened Joseph as best he could from this angle, his partner rocking his hard length against his thigh.

“Alright, I know you love humping my leg at the same time, I’m gonna need to go deeper if we don’t want this bad boy to hurt like something fierce, so scooch.” Barclay smirked as he nudged Joseph off of him, the agent pouting but flopping over onto the bed on his belly, ass in the air.

“I wouldn’t call it humping . I’m not a dog. I just.. get a little carried away,” Joseph huffed.

The sylph smirked, giving his rump cheeky smack and earning a pleased whimper from Stern before he re-lubed his fingers and pressed into Joseph once more. Barclay peppered kisses along his partner’s spine as he worked, feeling the man’s muscles loosen under his touch. His large fingers were always enough to make his boyfriend squirm in the best of ways, Joseph pushing back against him with soft, breathy gasps.

“Careful now, I’m always happy to finger you until you cum, but I was under the impression you wanted to try this new toy.”

“If your hands weren’t so fantastic, I wouldn’t... nh.. have to worry about the risk of cumming early.” Joseph lamented between soft gasps, Barclay snorting.

“Are you saying you wish I was worse at fingerfucking you?” He mused, sliding three of his fingers all the way inside of Stern and pulling a particularly throaty moan from his partner’s lips.

“No, never.. Fuck, Barclay.” He rolled his hips back as the sylph stretched him open, Barclay feeling cheeky.

“I thought we were fucking you first.”

“Love, I will hit you with this pillow if you don’t stop cracking jokes and fuck me into the mattress this instant.”

“Oh man, someone’s roaring to go. Shoulda put the harness on first, hold on a sec.” Barclay pulled his fingers from Joseph’s body, wiping them on the sheets before rolling over on his back and trying to tug the harness on as fast as he could. It got tangled, because of course it did, Joseph watching with flushed amusement. “Fuck, why are these things so awkward..”

“Here, let me help.”

In a joint effort, they got Barclay secured into his strapon, multicolored dick sticking straight up on his lap. Joseph wet his lips as he eyed its girth, Barclay holding it at its base and wiggling it playfully.

“So how do you want to do this, babe?”

“Well, you’re certainly in a good position for me to ride you, now aren’t you?” Joseph pointed out, grabbing the condoms and the bottle of lube for himself. He deftly opened up the wrapping, rolling the rubber onto the shaft before lubing it up.

Sometimes Barclay felt a pang of wistfulness wishing he could actually feel what the man was doing, but that was a train of thought he tended to avoid following as engaging it led to a rather uncomfortable vein of dysphoria. He was overall fine with his genital arrangement once he’d actually figured out what he liked and was comfortable with, but he had his days sometimes.

Today was not a day he wanted to go down that particular rabbit hole, however, especially with the knowledge that his partner would be taking good care of him afterwards. Joseph was so rarely one to disappoint. The things he could do with his hands and mouth were fantastic.

He was thankfully brought back to the present as his boyfriend straddled his lap, positioning himself above the lazily bobbing dildo. Barclay held it steady as Joseph lowered himself onto the cock, letting out breathy pants as he did, a hand on Barclay’s chest.

However, he only made it about halfway down before he stopped with a sharp yelp at a thick part of the dildo, quickly pulling himself off with a grimace.

“What’s wrong? Not good?” Worry flitted across Barclay’s face as he sat up, cupping Joseph’s face in concern. Joseph shook his head, pressing his forehead to his lover’s shoulder.

“Sorry... too much, too quick. Burns. Give me a moment.” He took a few deep breaths and swallowed thickly as Barclay stoked his back, wondering if they should stop. “Alright, I’m good. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.” Barclay murmured, meeting Joseph’s eyes as he held him. “Do you want to keep going, or no?”

“Oh, keep going for sure. Barclay, I’m fine, I promise. I just got a little overeager.” He flushed, nuzzling Barclay’s throat. “You’re sweet to worry though.”

“How about a different position then? Something where gravity is less of a third party involved.” The sylph suggested, still concerned. He knew Joseph was fine, but things like this always made him anxious. Even in this form, he was always worried he was going to break Joseph somehow, even if it wasn’t realistically something he needed to worry about.

“I can agree to that, what did you have in mind?” Joseph nodded, gently petting Barclay’s beard. Barclay could tell the agent had noticed his partner’s anxiety and felt a little guilty about it, but was relieved that Joseph was alright and also willing to try something gentler. He hoped he could get over this anxiety for Joseph’s sake as they got more comfortable moving forward, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

“Hm. Here, I have an idea. Roll on your side.”

“Alright.”

Joseph lay on his side on the bed, getting comfortable with a soft sigh. Barclay brushed his fingers along the curve of his partner’s body before resting it on Joseph’s hip and pressing himself close. No doubt Joseph was able to feel the large length of the dildo resting against his ass if the shudder that quivered through his body was anything to go by. “I bet you see where I’m going with this.”

“I do,” Stern replied with barely a whisper, putting his hand on Barclay’s. “And I’m liking the direction.”

“Sure hope so. All the deep penetration of riding without having gravity to contend with. Alright, here we go.” Barclay smirked, reapplying a dollop of lube and lining the toy up with his partner’s hole once more. Stern whined as he slowly pushed the head passed the ring of muscles, the agent gripping the sheets. “Good?”

“Yes, now move. Please. ”

“Yessir.” The sylph chuckled, beginning a steady thrust. He started shallow, working the toy a little deeper into his partner with each go. Joseph leaned his head back against Barclay’s chest, lips parted in pleasure as the other man started fucking his boyfriend in earnest. He didn’t go past the knot yet, saving that for when Joseph was more thoroughly fucked and loose enough to take it.

“Mh, perfect...” His boyfriend mumbled, a pleased and flustered expression on his face as Barclay really got going, his fingers curling into the sheets. The sylph kissed his throat, sliding his hand over the man’s hip and grasping his cock. Joseph shivered again, bucking up into his lover’s touch.

They got into a comfortable rhythm, Barclay making a challenge for himself to see just what sort of noises he could pull out of the other man. Joseph was panting and rocking between the cock in his ass and Barclay’s hand, his skin damp and warm with pleasure as his partner met his movements. He was a picture of exquisiteness, wrapped in the passion of tender love, the sight of which got Barclay throbbing with want.

“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” He praised, tone husky with arousal as he picked up his pace. He could just barely feel his erect clit rubbing against the harness, the sylph trying to press himself against it to try to get some much-wanted friction.

They had yet to find something that could adequately get them both off at the same time while Barclay pegged Joseph, but it wasn’t like he got nothing out of it. Joseph was ravishing like this and Barclay adored making him feel good, even with the disconnect. Joseph never went without returning the attention in full, so he could hardly be bitter.

“Faster. Fuck Barclay, please ,” Joseph whined, toes curling against their bedding. Barclay adjusted his angle before proceeding, his thrusts growing quicker and more erratic. That must have hit Joseph’s prostate head-on, because the man let out a long and quavering moan, loving every moment.

Barclay was glad their room was far away from the other residents that Joseph could feel comfortable letting out such cries of pleasure without alerting their neighbors of just what they were doing. The sylph adored his partner getting to let go and enjoy himself.

As he pressed kisses to Joseph’s shoulders and neck, the man let out another series of shuddering gasps, body tensing under his partner’s touch. He murmured incoherent praise as he was pulled closer to orgasm, thrusting his hips more desperately.

“Barclay, I’m.. I need.. Fuck.. ”

“What do you need, Jo?”

“Close. I want.. Knot. I’m ready for the knot.”

“Yeah? Okay.” Barclay nodded, nibbling his boyfriend’s ear as he began thrusting deeper.

Joseph’s body resisted the large bulge at the base of the toy at first, but Barclay quickly found the lube bottle and awkwardly squelched a bit more on the cock, dribbling some of it onto the sheets. Neither of them cared though, too preoccupied as the sylph began putting more strength behind his thrusts, reminding himself that Joseph could handle his human form just fine and wanted this.

His partner’s moans grew more needy and his fingers dug more tightly into the mattress as he got closer, pressing his head back firmly against Barclay’s chest in a fevered attempt to ground himself in his pleasure. The sylph, recognizing just how close Joseph was, gave the toy a final snap of his hips and popped the knot inside Joseph with one deep thrust.

The agent cried out, eyes screwed shut and lips parted as he embraced his body’s quake of bliss. His muscles tensed under Barclay’s touch for half a moment before he met release, cock throbbing in the sylph’s hand as he came, no doubt clenching hard around the girth of the knot in his ass. Barclay held him close through his orgasm, thrusting through it and murmuring praise as he gave the love of his life an anchor in his ecstasy.

“Barclay...”

“I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you.”

“Fuck..”

Finally, the throes of passion released Joseph, his body relaxing against Barclay’s as he let out a pleased sigh. The sylph wiped his hand off on the sheets before gently rubbing circles his partner’s hip and thigh with a soft smirk.

“So... what kind of review does the toy get then?”

“Mmmh... fantastic, loved it, would get fucked by it again.” Joseph hummed, shifting so he could look up at Barclay’s face. He had a flushed and dreamy expression that the sylph couldn’t help but kiss. “Provided, of course, that it’s attached to my wonderful boyfriend.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.” He mused, careful not to jostle the toy much while the knot was still firmly lodged in his lover’s backside. Joseph smiled and kissed Barclay again, the pair taking a tender moment in Joseph’s afterglow.

“Mmh.. I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too, Jo. I love that I can make you feel good like this.”

“You’re very good at it.” Joseph grinned, stroking Barclay’s beard and stealing another kiss. After a moment, however, the agent gingerly shifted his hips with a small wince.

“Alright, I think I’m ready for this toy to be out of me, I’m getting a little oversensitive.”

“Can do, babe. Gonna go nice and gentle.” Barclay carefully pulled the toy from Joseph’s body as the man bit his lip, his loose hole twitching salaciously as the cock slipped free. Barclay growled softly in the back of his throat, pulling the man into his arms and pressing his nose against Joseph’s throat. “Mmmn.. You do things to me, you know that? Your body, your noises, the faces you make.. I love all of it.”

“I’m glad. It’s gratifying to know I get a big, burly cryptid such as yourself hot and bothered,” Joseph teased, twisting in Barclay’s arms to face the man and kissing him eagerly. He reached down, loosening the harness enough that he could slide his hand under it and rub the pads of his fingers against Barclay’s hard clit. “Which I do believe it’s time I return the favor, isn’t it.”

“ Fuck , yeah.” The sylph’s breath caught, a soft rumble growing in his chest as his boyfriend teased his clit. He rocked his hips a few times, enjoying the closeness until finally pulling away as the harness started to pinch. “Just.. gotta get out of this thing first.”

“Of course. Let’s see if I can figure out how this thing works.” Joseph let Barclay peel away, the bigger man kicking out of the strapon and peeling off the used condom to discard later as the agent picked up the smaller toy he’d gotten his partner.

He wiggled his finger experimentally in the hole like Barclay had, turning it over in his hands before he grabbed the bottle of lube again, squirting a few dabs into it. Putting his finger in the hole again, it made an amusing squelching noise, the two of them snickering as the sylph kissed his partner’s neck.

“Well, what’s the verdict?”

“I think I should be able to line this up, but I’m worried it might not be ideal for me to be holding it. It is a mastrubatory toy.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot. If we can’t turn it into a couple’s thing, I’ll just use it during your next trip to DC and think of you fondly.”

“Good to know it’ll have some use then regardless. And you know you’re always free to pleasure yourself without me involved, even if I am here,” Joseph reminded him, kissing the corner of Barclay’s mouth.

“I can, and do, I’m just being cheeky,” Barclay snickered, pushing himself back against the headboard and spreading his legs for Stern.

Joseph wet his lips, shimmying up to his lover on his hands and knees. He kissed Barclay softly, reaching down and finding the man’s clit once more, giving it more attention to get it to stand good and erect for him. Barclay gasped against his lips, color filling to his cheeks as Joseph spread him open so he could position the toy on his erection.

“How’s this?” Joseph pressed the hole down on Barclay’s clit, forming a suction that made the other man shudder, the sylph letting out a soft gasp.

“Good, it’s on there. Now try moving it.”

Joseph nodded, awkwardly trying to thrust the toy on his lover, but after a few attempts, it seemed like his prediction was right. It felt nice, but the awkward jostling took away from most of the pleasure. The agent frowned. “Judging from your expression, this isn’t doing much for you.”

“Yeah, not really. Here, lemme try.” He grasped it himself, Joseph letting go, and gave it a few pumps, shuddering with a few jolts of pleasure. “Nnh.. yeah it’s definitely more of a solo thing. Feels good though. That said, I don’t wanna just sit here and have you watch me jack off.”

“No, I’d prefer if you didn’t do all the work either.” The agent sighed, gently taking the toy and putting it to the side before giving Barclay a devious smile. “Besides, why simulate someone sucking you off, when there’s someone who will happily do the real thing?”

“You make a good point,” Barclay chuckled, kissing his boyfriend again. If there was one thing he always enjoyed, it was Joseph’s mouth down between his legs.

“Actually...” Joseph bit his lip, his hand sliding down to Barclay’s arm where his bracelet hugged his wrist. “Are you comfortable with my doing it in your true form tonight? I’m admittedly a little disappointed that the toy isn’t something we could share, especially after you’ve made me feel so good, so I was hoping I could show some love to your true self. But only if you’re alright with it of course.”

“Oh.. uh..” Barclay swallowed, anxious excitement bubbling in his chest. They’d only made love with Barclay in his real body a handful of times, half of which had been cut short by the sylph’s fear of hurting his human partner.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, quite the contrary, he just got so scared of their difference in size and power that it got to him. Even humanoid sylphs were more sturdy than humans were and he was still struggling a lot with the mental roadblock of what could happen if he got too carried away. Joseph was always understanding of his distress however, supportive and kind no matter what.

That said, he also adored Barclay’s true form and made sure the sylph knew it. Barclay had originally been worried his body would disgust his partner, but Joseph was never anything but elated to embrace Barclay’s real identity, fur and all. He supposed that shouldn’t be a surprise from someone who was so interested in bigfoot well before he actually met the real one, but it was touching.

“That’s a lot of fur to wade through just to eat me out.” Barclay mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking away. However, Joseph’s hands came softly to his face, bringing his eyes back to his boyfriend’s.

“And well worth every moment of it to make you feel good, Barclay. I understand your worry when you’re pegging me, there’s a lot of muscle behind those thrusts that you get scared you can’t control. I think you could, but I understand and I would never force you to try anything you aren’t comfortable with.” Joseph told him calmly, an understanding smile on his face. “Let me give you this, though. You’re not going to hurt me like this and it’s something I want to provide. I love you in every shape and form and I want to show you that.”

“I...” Barclay felt a deep love for the man in his lap in that moment, the man with the kind of tenderness in his eyes that Barclay never thought he’d get to have. He leaned in and kissed Joseph gently before holding out his wrist, offering his partner his bracelet. “Okay.”

Joseph nodded, rubbing his thumb against Barclay’s cheek before reverently taking the clasp between his fingers. Giving Barclay one more soft look, he popped it open and let the bracelet fall free.

The bed creaked at the sudden change in weight of one of its occupants, but it would hold just fine. This was Barclay’s bed after all, it was made to hold his true size.

The sylph smiled sheepishly down at his human lover, who smiled right back, running his fingers through the fur of Barclay’s chest. And then they were kissing again, something Joseph had never shown any sign of being deterred by despite Barclay’s considerably larger teeth and mouth.

Barclay worried, he always did, but slowly but surely Joseph had proven time and time again that what form the sylph was in didn’t matter to him. His body language and attraction never changed from one shape to the other and he engaged Barclay just as eagerly regardless.

“Now, let’s get you taken care of, yes?” Joseph hummed, their bodies warm again after their little aside. Barclay nodded absently, distracted as his partner slide down his large and shaggy form.

His fingers always felt so nice in his auburn fur. Actually, his hands were just nice in general. Joseph’s long and slender fingers had been the source of many idle fantasies before they’d gotten together, and knowing them for real still felt a bit like a very good dream sometimes.

Barclay shifted his weight to give Joseph better access between his legs again, the man parting his dense fur around his groin. It was thick enough that he didn’t have to wear pants, but his boyfriend didn’t seem to mind.

The change in form had done nothing to ebb Barclay’s arousal, his now considerably larger clit stranding erect from his folds. He had to admit, he enjoyed just how much size his true form lent to his clit. In his human disguise, it was about the size of Joseph’s thumb, but in his sylph form, it was much closer to that of a human cock.

The agent wet his lips, glancing up at Barclay’s face once more before wrapping his lips around the sylph’s clit, pleasure rippling through the cryptid as the man began his ministrations. Joseph’s mouth was always magic in a way that Barclay was a little envious he couldn’t replicate himself.

Joseph’s tongue lathed over Barclay’s length, pulling a rumbling moan from his chest as he leaned his head back. It only took a few passes to get Barclay slicked up, his heart-rate spiking as Joseph began bobbing his head rhythmically along the shaft.

“Fuck, Jo... you’re always so good at that...” He sighed, not sure what to do with his hands. He decided to stretch his arms out, resting his wrists on the backboard above his head as he enjoyed the view of Joseph swallowing his clit. The agent was quite the sight, attentive as he watched to see if Barclay was enjoying it, his cheeks dusted with pink as he ran his fingers through the fur of Barclay’s thighs.

Barclay’s clit throbbed in the man’s mouth, the sylph groaning as his partner did something with his tongue he couldn’t even describe. He panted softly, wondering how long he could keep himself from tangling his hands in the sheets or Joseph’s hair. His partner picked up the pace, earning him another moan.

He’d have to be careful. While they were out of hearing range for Joseph’s cries of pleasure, Barclay could very well shake the walls with his voice in this form if he didn’t show some restraint. He and Jo had been considering getting a place to themselves, which would give them the perk of not worrying who heard them, but Barclay wasn’t sure he was ready to leave the lodge just yet. Maybe though.

Joseph patted his leg, getting his attention before he popped off his erection, his expression sultry and coy. “Are you in the mood for anything inside you, love? Or would you like me to keep going as is?”

“Oh uh... Nh.. fuck , Jo..” Barclay didn’t get an answer out as Joseph licked a stripe across his clit, making him shudder with a gasp. “Shit uh.. Sure. A little something in me might be nice. Maybe some fingers. Vag is fine, I didn’t clean out like you did.”

Alright.” Joseph grinned, returning his attention back on Barclay’s clit as he patted around for the lube bottle. After a few attempts of not finding it blindly, Barclay chuckled and handed it to him, the agent snorting softly before lubing up his fingers.

Gently, he slid three digits inside his partner, Barclay moaning appreciatively. Penetration was a take it or leave it kind of thing for Barclay; he couldn’t really cum from penetration alone, but it was a nice addition to attention to his clit when he was feeling up for it. He was a pretty roomy guy, especially in his true form, so he didn’t get a lot of friction from it, but having something to clench around while Joseph did amazing things with his mouth was always a nice bonus.

His boyfriend crooked his fingers up into a nice place and then began to hum against his shaft in a way that always drove Barclay wild. It was amazing in his human form and even more so in his real body. The sylph rocked his hips into Joseph’s mouth, letting out a breathy, rumbling moan.

His hands finally dropped, Barclay reaching out to put a hand on Joseph’s head before remembering himself, his large palm falling short on his thigh. He didn’t want to accidentally grip Joseph too hard, especially when he came.

His boyfriend noticed however, sighing through his nose before carefully reaching up with his free hand and taking Barclay’s, intertwining their fingers. Barclay’s hand dwarfed Joseph’s to an almost hilarious degree, but the gesture was sweet, the sylph giving his partner’s fingers a gentle squeeze.

However, he was distracted from his worries once more as Joseph hollowed his cheeks, ramping up the suction on his clit.

“Fuck babe... You’re gonna get me gone quick if you keep this up,” He groaned, Joseph smirking around him and giving him a few nice thrusts with his fingers. Barclay was rocking his hips in earnest now as his lover took care of him, pleasure rippling through him. His fur prickled as the desperation for release grew, the sylph recalling the moans he’d brought to Joseph’s lips just before this.

The way Joseph reacted under his touch and called out his name in his ecstasy, how he cared so much and always wanted Barclay to be comfortable, the love and passion he always found in his eyes, and the face he made as Barclay brought him to climax. Barclay had been telling the truth when he’d said all that Joseph did in bed was almost enough to make him cum from that alone, so remembering that while his boyfriend’s mouth was around his clit was about what did him in.

Feeling the heat in his belly grow, sharp and hungry and wanting, Barclay pressed the back of his hand over mouth to muffle his cry as that tension rose to the surface of his skin. Joseph responded to his lover’s body by thrusting his knuckles into Barclay's wet, warm heat and humming keenly around the sylph’s clit, throwing his partner over the edge.

Barclay’s whole body shuddered, the sylph groaning deep and low against his hand as his large feet curled into the mattress. His fur stood on end the ripples rolled through him, body clenching around Joseph’s hand inside him as his clit throbbed.

Joseph rocked up to hold him as orgasm gripped him, Barclay pressing his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Joseph stroked his fur as Barclay rode through it until finally the warm bliss of release settled over him, calming the shockwaves. The sylph sighed, nuzzling his partner’s neck.

“Mmh... That was.. Damn...” He mumbled, the post-coitus haze taking hold. The agent chuckled, kissing the side of Barclay’s face.

“Good, I take it then.”

“Mhm... Real good.. Crazy good.”

“Good.” Joseph smiled, running his fingers across Barclay’s chest. “You’re awfully warm.”

“Mh... Overheating a little I think,” Barclay replied, blinking a few times. He was very hot now that he thought about it.

“Ah. Would you like your bracelet back on?”

“Please.”

Joseph nodded again, locating Barclay’s disguise and carefully latching it back around the sylph’s wrist. Gone was the fur and large form, replaced by a very sweaty, very flushed human one. Barclay grinned, falling back into Joseph’s arms.

The agent kissed his neck as Barclay languished in the afterglow before he shifted to take his contacts out, placing them in their container on their bedside table before settling back in with Barclay. The sylph smiled softly, flopping back on the bed, Joseph following suit.

“Hey... I love you, Joseph. I know I keep saying it, but I do. Dunno what I did to deserve a guy like you,”’ he murmured, tracing his fingers along the man’s sweat-damp skin. They were both sticky and properly fucked out now, the pair sprawling out on their bed in a lazy, contented pile. Joseph ran his fingers through Barclay’s long, loose hair behind his ear, rubbing his thumb against the man’s cheek.

“Everyday I find myself thinking the same thing about you, Barclay. So many things could have prevented us from having this, but they didn’t and I’ve never been more grateful.”

“Man, we’re such lovestuck fools, aren’t we?” Barclay grinned as he pulled his lover onto his chest, Joseph getting comfortable and leaning his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“Mh, yes, but I think it’s well deserved. We’re sort of an odd love story, I think we deserve some giddy happiness now that we’ve made it this far,” Joseph hummed, Barclay getting sleepy from listening to the rhythm of his breathing.

“Yeah. That’s a really good way to put it.”

“I’m glad it’s you I get to share my nights with. And everything else in between too.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Barclay smilled, kissing the top of Joseph’s head. “I’m glad we can have fun like this and try new things and laugh and make messes and talk about stuff. I never really realized just how important that is until lately.”

“I didn’t either. But I’m thankful I get to do it with you. Speaking of messes...” Joseph craned his neck, glancing at the sheets. “We do have a bit of one to clean up.”

“Eh, it can wait until morning. Or at least til 2am when we’ll both wake up sticky and gross and huddle in the shower together, then drag all the sheets off and nap on the comforter until it’s time to really wake up.”

“Are we really that predictable?”

“Yeah, but I love that. I love that we can just have... normal dumb things we do together.”

“Yes.. me too. Mess aside, I suppose I am getting rather tired.” Joseph smiled, shaking his head as Barlcay yawned, the sylph blinking sleepily.

“I’m always sleepy after a good fuck.”

“Yes, I know, it’s adorable.” Joseph leaned up, kissing Barclay softly, which Barclay returned just as tenderly, closing his eyes as his beloved settled back down on his chest. “Sleep well, Barclay. I love you. Thank you for indulging me tonight.”

“Always. I love trying stuff with you. Goodnight babe, I love you too.”

And, thoroughly satisfied from their little adventure, the two men drifted off in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth and love they shared. A love that, though each passing day, only grew stronger.

#sternclay #joseph stern #taz barclay #agent stern

4 notes · View notes

makeste · 6 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 149: Villain Island

Previously on BnHA: Twice confronted Nighteye with a clone of Rappa. Nighteye proceeded to beat his ass using rubber seal stamps, incidentally revealing his surprisingly cut washboard abs. Night then blasted away part of Twice’s mask, forcing Twice to retreat in a panic. His personality disorder started to get the better of him, but then Toga showed up and tied a bandana around the missing part of his mask, and it calmed him down and was also the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Twice briefly flashbacked to the League of Villains meeting when Tomura announced that Togawice would be lent out to the Eight Precepts. Twice was against this because it turns out he feels responsible for introducing Overhaul to the League and getting Magne killed (and Compress maimed, but no one cares about him). Toga wasn’t keen on it either, but Tomura somehow won them both over by smiling and making it seem like he had a plan in the works. Whether he actually does is anyone’s guess, but damned if it wasn’t convincing. Anyway, so now Toga and Twice are fed up with the Precepts’ general incompetence, though, and are ready to turn on them. And I’ve never been so excited for a plot twist in my whole damn life.

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Overhaul meets Togawice for the first time and asks them about their quirks. The Precepts then ask if Tomura plans on betraying them, and Twice and Toga are all, “[shifty eyed glance] nope, nothing to see here. no impending betrayals on our end, no sirree.” This apparently is good enough for Overhaul, who asks them to sit tight and wait for further orders. Back in the present, Irinaka makes one last-ditch effort to crush the remaining heroes in his accursed hallway. However, Toga gets him to reveal his true body, and Deku and Aizawa immediately attack. With Aizawa having finally neutralized his quirk, Irinaka is detained. We then cut to Mirio, with time rewinding back to show what happened immediately after he went forward on his own and caught up with Overhaul.

But the real star of this chapter is the omake at the end. Kurogiri takes it upon himself to improve solidarity among the League by taking them all on a mandatory outing to an uninhabited island to engage in a survival trial. Tomura spends the entire time lounging on a couch, Dabi unleashes his inner Bear Grylls, Toga steals a bikini, and tbh I kind of wish we could get an entire manga series of just this. But we’ll just have to settle for these four pages, I guess.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 178, now. If I’d known yesterday’s Superbowl would end up somehow being more boring than this entire arc, I would have never bothered taking the day off. But, well, hindsight.)

no, I don’t mind at all

by the way what exactly is going on here with Twice and these handcuff-looking things that I’m not actually sure are handcuffs. because that cord looks more like an earjack cord. but why is it coming from the bracelet like that. I basically have so many questions about this image, and am now also more closely examining exactly why Twice chose a skintight bodysuit as his villain costume

(ETA: I have no excuse. he’s fought with them before and everything; I just never noticed.)

more villain flashbacks!!

but this time it’s T&T introducing themselves to the Eights

“I’m never gonna forgive you, so it’s a pleasure to be working with you” ahaha. classic Twice. this is the kind of iconic bullshit that I’m reading this manga for

Overhaul’s apologizing for killing Magne and says he didn’t want to

but if you really felt that way you could have easily put her back together again, you sociopath

oh my god look at this though??!

holy shit. so she really is another canon trans character, and it’s treated seriously too. I mean, obviously it’s not perfect, and it also sucks that she got killed off, but I’m so used to LGBT manga characters being treated as comedic relief at best, so this frank statement of “hey you misgendered my friend, get it right” and it being totally serious is actually really refreshing

also what is Viz going to do when they get to this chapter. most likely change it up entirely I’ll bet. fucking Viz

anyway, so Twice is all “so now what” and Overhaul says he and Toga just have to follow his orders

he’s also asking for the details of their quirks

but Toga is all “we’ll tell you if and when it’s needed because fuck you”, and have I mentioned I love her???

but holy shit though

bud. are you like, okay. jesus christ

so Twice has decided he hates this and he’s not going to say anything

so naturally the very next thing he does is explain his quirk in great detail!!

holy shit this is an unexpected info dump

once again Horikoshi is all “I see your questions and I will answer them in due time.” so it was a tape measure!! has he had these this whole time?

just went back and checked. yes he has. unbelievable

still waiting on an explanation for that skintight bodysuit though

some of this goes against what we previously knew about his quirk, though. this is the first time a two-thing limit has been brought up, and that seems to go against the whole Calvin and Hobbes “I made a bunch of clones of myself” thing that we know he did way back when (and which he’s also referencing here, as I assume it’s the reason he no longer makes copies of himself). maybe the limit only applies to things/people that aren’t him?

this reminds me a lot of Momo’s quirk in that he needs to know a lot about the object before duplicating it. which means he’s definitely a lot more intelligent than he sometimes comes off as

I mentioned a couple chapters ago that Toga is extremely intelligent as well, and now I’m wondering if Tomura realizes just how lucky he is to have all these smart crazy people on his side. we’ve seen the quality of Overhaul’s own followers, by contrast, and the League most definitely has them beat

anyway! so Toga’s staring at Twice in annoyance for going off like that right after she made a big deal of not telling Overhaul anything

she says he made her look stupid

OMG YESSSS so now she’s going into the details of her own quirk after all omggggg

look at the damn hoops Horikoshi’s making himself jump through all because he made the decision not to do any villain bios. well it’s your own damn fault

I’m starting to understand why Deku keeps all these notebooks

the bit about the transformation time being proportionate to the amount of blood she consumes is extremely interesting and relevant, and now it makes sense why she had that weird gizmo to suck as much blood as possible

I would estimate she got maybe a cup of Ochako’s blood, so we can assume she can transform into her for up to 1 day if needed. but as for Deku, we saw in chapter 114 that she only managed to get like a couple drops worth

one drop is about .05 ml, which is about .0002 cups. so she can transform into Deku for .04% of one day unless I fucked that math up (which is highly possible)

what is that, like a couple seconds?? because if so, holy shit but I’ve been vastly overestimating her ability to wreak mindbendy havoc on our heroes

also does she have to drink the blood right before the transformation for best results? if she drinks someone’s blood but then doesn’t transform into that person right away, does she eventually lose the ability even if she doesn’t transform into them? or can she store that “energy” and use it whenever she likes?

basically this is awesome to be getting so much information here, but now if anything I’ve just got more questions

(ETA: for real. either I really did calculate that wrong, or she got more of Deku’s blood than I thought, or Horikoshi is the one that fucked up the math lol. oh well, it’s easy enough to just shrug and go along with it)

anyway! I almost forgot there was still a chapter going on

so now Overhaul’s henchman is casually asking if Tomura is planning to betray them. well duh

very convincing. well done

anyway, Overhaul seems satisfied for the time being, but he’s telling them they’ll have to stay in the underground HQ until they receive their orders from him. so basically house arrest

and now he’s leaving and Mimic is having a total power trip

seriously dude, simmer down

he’s babbling on about the yakuza getting revenge and “taking back society’s reins from the shadows” and fulfilling the dream of their bedridden boss

and now I think we’re back in the present

and this lil fellow is, as you’ll recall, the guy who’s currently controlling all the shifty walls of the underground HQ while all hopped up on quirk-enhancers

Toga and Twice are having a conversation mid-somersault about how they’re gonna let the heroes take out the Precepts for them. I think

meanwhile Aizawa is asking Deku if he also heard the crazy voice coming from the walls which is, as Deku surmises, Irinaka’s voice

ohhhh I see, if they can pinpoint where the voice is coming from then they can find Irinaka’s real body and like punch him until he quits being an asshole and dragging out the arc with his stupid quirk

do you know, I just realized that basically this entire thing is his fault, and just like that he’s my least favorite character. that’s right. you beat out Stain and even Mineta, because Mineta only ever hijacks like a page or two at a time at most. certainly not a dozen chapters in one go

but anyway, the voice is echoing too much for them to pinpoint it

meanwhile the cops are freaking out because they’re about to get crushed

I can’t figure out why Mimic didn’t just actually crush them all to begin with and be done with it. unless it’s just that he didn’t want the full force of the law bearing down on their organization and seeking justice for dozens of cop murders

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS TOGA IS TAKING MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

NEVER SEND A BUNCH OF SO-CALLED HEROES TO DO A VILLAIN’S JOB

HOLY SHIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW. IRINAKA IS SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY AND DEKU SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD IT AND IS NOW RUSHING TOWARD THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE

AHHHHH DID HE DO IT???

I CAN’T TELL IF HE GOT HIM. SURELY THAT SMASH WASN’T JUST FOR SHOW

OH MY GODDDDD

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

AND T&T ARE WAVING AT HIM GLEEFULLY AS HE FALLS

I LOVE EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT

the amount of relief I’m feeling right now can accurately be described as “overwhelming” and it’s amazing

because he’s SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PERSON, Deku is catching Irinaka as he falls, because this is BnHA where a fall from a great height onto a bunch of rocks actually will kill you

and please tell me the rooms are back to normal now omg

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THANK YOU MANGA GODS

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

MIRIOOOOOOOOOO

holy shit. holy fucking shit, finally. finally

FLYING SOLO AGAINST THE FINAL BOSS HOLY SHIT

so is this the part where we find out Mirio is fucking dead omg. holy shit. but you know what, I don’t even care, because we’re finally up to the good stuff and no more bullshit. I feel another binge coming on

BONUS:

oho, what’s this? “special jump outing”?

I don’t know where to fucking start omg

first of all, I’ve actually been impressed with their solidarity thus far so this is news to me

second, I can’t with how their idea of team bonding is “let’s build a house from scratch together on an uninhabited island”

third KUROGIRI WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

cutie

I swear to god if they keep up these antics I’m downgrading their name from “League of Villains” to “Villain Squad Jr.”

Tomura is trying to remind us all that he’s For Reals Evil but idk

on the one hand, we actually have seen this guy kill a man with his bare hands. but on the other hand, it was revenge for Magne, and he hasn’t killed anyone else that I can think of, aside from probably his parents by accident

and also my favorite of all the villains is the only one who is for sure a psychotic serial killer, so it could just be that I don’t actually care

so Kuro is telling Tomura to be less strange, and announcing that the first order of business is to secure a water source

are you telling me you came to this random island to build a house and you don’t even know where you’re building it yet

and now there appears to have been some kind of cut, and Tomura is drinking ginger ale. fucking ginger ale. you’re not evil at all, are you

I can’t believe I was actually worried about what these guys might do to Bakugou if they kept him. their idea of torture is probably less fingernail-pulling and more “let’s make him watch a bunch of Kay Jewelers commercials until he cracks.” which to be fair would break me pretty quickly

(ETA: although Tomura did get pretty hardcore there with Overhaul at the end! but I mean, Overhaul was a total prick you guys. that doesn’t count)

and now he’s tied Kurogiri to a tree and is just making him warp over whatever they need

everyone please look at this panel of Dabi wearing overalls

“unexpectedly into it”

this is the most damning evidence yet that he’s definitely related to Shouto

you go Dabi. I feel like he’s learned all about how to survive on a tropical island by like watching Moana a bunch of times or something

consider the coconut, consider its tree, we use each part of the coconut, that’s all we neeeeed

meanwhile Tomura is reading a magazine on a couch on the beach

Toga is wading in the ocean and her overalls got wet so she’s changing into a bikini

did we ever confirm she was really responsible for those serial murders. it could have been someone else. you never know

anyway she stole the bikini and Kurogiri is acting all shocked like “omg this girl really stole a bikini” but like. what else is she gonna do. pay for it like a normal person

don’t tell me you guys were actually legitimately leasing that bar this whole time. Kurogiri probably actually had his liquor license

so Toga is legit frolicking, and Tomura is playing a PSP or something. with the hand still on his face. how can you even see the screen

and now Dabi has caught them all lazing about and he’s throwing a fit

he’s even doing teamwork

now he’s lecturing Dabi on what’s really important

I think they probably would have turned off the Kay Jewelers commercials after like five of them or so and been all “okay I hope you learned your lesson.” and then if he still didn’t want to join them they would have been all “fine then but it’s your loss” and given him a ginger ale and sent him back home

so now Kurogiri is rescinding all rules and letting them all do their thing

Villain Squad Jr. it’s fucking official

and that’s the end of the strip. but the bonus material is still continuing because FA has been doing these translations of the character book! and the next page is amazing oh my god

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IN THE FUTURE WHEN I INEVITABLY START TO WRITE FANFIC ABOUT THIS STUPID ADDICTIVE SERIES THIS IS A FUCKING REFERENCE GOLDMINE

right away I feel like a good 75% of fanfics are slightly off because U.A. has compulsory Saturday classes. say goodbye to your weekend getaway antics

they don’t actually have much homeroom time with Aizawa in the morning. what subject does he actually teach? I need someone to tell me, I refuse to believe Horikoshi hasn’t established this in canon by now. it’s probably somewhere in this very book

(ETA: I STILL NEED TO KNOW THIS. I’M STILL GOING TO INSIST IT’S ART IF HORIKOSHI DOESN’T CORRECT ME)

anyway, that’s it for today, but that was awesome. on I go to chapter 150

#bnha #boku no hero academia #twice (bnha)#toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #kurogiri #dabi #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #in hindsight I think chevy 'REAL PEOPLE!!! NOT ACTORS!!!' commercials would be even worse torture than kay jewelers #though that might have aroused too much rage in him and accidentally powered him up #although they could have immediately put him back to sleep by just making him watch the damn superbowl last night #not to beat a dead horse but my GOD that was bad #ah well it's all in the past now #I'm gonna go finish this class 1-A band AU arc

64 notes · View notes

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 5 years

Note

I’m curious to understand why the GC2B website/FAQ says you can exercise in their binders, but this blog’s position is that that’s never okay. Not trying to start discourse, just want to hear your thoughts.

Lee says:

We’ve been a trans advice blog blog for 8 years now, so we have been answering questions for 4 more years than gc2b ever existed.

Over the past 8 years I’d estimate we’ve gotten at least a hundred asks by people who got injured while binding and exercising.

I think it’s possible that if someone is doing mild exercise in a binder that they’ve ordered specifically in a size too large to exercise in, they may not get injured. But I also think that many people will either do vigorous exercise and push themselves too hard, or wear their normally sized binder. Moderation and caution in doing risky things is great, but you need to know that they’re risky in order for you to have enough knowledge to be cautious about it.

#Lee says #gc2b #gc2b binders #binding #exercise #safe binding #injury m #Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

56 notes · View notes

aliciameade · 6 years

Text

Fade Into You - Ch. 2

Title: Fade Into You (Chapter 2 of 5) Author: aliciameade Rating: T Pairing: Beca/Chloe Summary: Tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a 50/50 chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are. Or: Beca had a really good terrible idea when she got tired of being broke in New York.

Also on AO3 and FFnet, but I probably can’t link there idk.

(Chapter 1)

Amy unsurprisingly declared her ignorance of the invitation situation when Beca confronted her, stating she assumed they’d added their parents and the Bellas to their list as a joke, or a way to get more free stuff.

There wasn’t much Beca could say to that. It wasn’t Amy’s fault the list was wrong.

~ ~

Two days later when Beca opened their mailbox, she pulled out one of their returned RSVP cards.

From Glen Hauenstein, the President of Delta Airlines.

“Holy shit.” She rushed up the stairs and almost fell through the door in her haste. In the absolute chaos they’d created in their personal lives, she’d forgotten what had started it: one teeny tiny gigantically unethical idea.

“Hey, you,” Chloe said with a calm smile over a cup of tea.

Beca held up the envelope. “Someone replied.”

“Oh, my God! Who?” Chloe set down her cup and rushed to join Beca still standing barely inside the door.

“Delta.”

“Shut UP!” Chloe said with a shove to Beca’s shoulder. It was so hard it actually threw Beca against the door. “Sorry. Let’s open it,” she said as she snatched the envelope out of Beca’s hand and ripped open its seal. She pulled out the RSVP card. “Glen regrets to inform us that he cannot attend,” Chloe said with a grin as she waved the card in front of Beca’s face.

“Oh, thank God,” Beca said with a sigh of relief.

“Wait; there’s something else in here.” Chloe reached back into the envelope to pull out what looked like a blue credit card. “Beca…”

“What? What is it?”

“It’s a five thousand dollar Delta gift card.”

Beca dropped her purse. “What?!” She grabbed the card out of Chloe’s hand and flipped it over. Surely, it had to be fifty dollars, or maybe five hundred, but… “Holy shit. Holy shit!” She threw it across the room like it was on fire.

“No! Don’t lose it!” Chloe chased after it and found it where it had slid under the edge of their bed.

“We can’t keep that, Chloe!”

“Well, it’s not like we can send it back!”

“Yes, we can!” Beca said, clapping with each word to make her point. “That was the plan. We can send something back with the sad news of our break-up and it’s all fixed!”

“He runs the airline, baby. It’s not like this actually cost him anything.”

Beca was about to reply when Chloe’s statement resonated with her—one word in particular. She grit her teeth. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” Chloe sat down on their bed and kicked her feet excitedly. “And now we know it works!”

Beca rolled her eyes at how fucking cute she was being. She knew this was bad. It was so, so bad. But Chloe liked it. Chloe wanted to pretend to be engaged a little longer and...Beca was good with that. She took off her shoes to cross the room and climb onto the bed and flop into her spot. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to hell for this.”

Chloe giggled and turned to crawl over until she was dropping down to kiss Beca’s cheek. “I’m going anyway. It’ll be nice to have you there with me.”

Beca felt herself blush at the thoughts that flooded her imagination as to what Chloe could have done to warrant her confidence in her afterlife.

“So, where would we go? If we keep it, I mean.”

“Apparently, we’re going to Fiji if we don’t stop this runaway train.”

Chloe shrugged next to her. “I’ll take care of it.”

~ ~

More RSVPs trickled in over the next couple of weeks. Cousins and coworkers who could not attend. Parents who would. Bellas who would. CEOs who regretfully couldn’t. And it was never the right time to call off the wedding—someone else was going through a break-up, or was sick, or a mom had a bad day at work.

There was always a reason. The one time Chloe couldn’t come up with one, Beca blurted some lie about her dad and Sheila starting couples therapy that day so they absolutely could not do it then.

Their fake wedding was two weeks away and neither of them had figured out how to call it off.

It was Saturday afternoon when someone buzzed their door.

“UPS!” crackled through when Beca asked who it was and she buzzed them up.

“What did you order?” she said when she dropped the delivered Amazon box onto the bed where Chloe sat.

“Nothing.” She looked up at Beca and Beca knew what she was thinking. “Get the scissors; let’s open it!”

Beca rushed to grab them from the drawer and returned to slice the tape. She let Chloe pop the sides open and pull out a rectangular package wrapped in white and silver paper. There was a slip of paper with it and she read, “To Chloe and Beca. May you live happily ever after. I’m so sorry I cannot make it to your special day, but I will be with you in spirit. Never stop singing your love to each other. Congratulations. Love, Mrs. Higgins. Oh, my God, Mrs. Higgins!” she added with a squeal. “Should we open it? Or should we wait until after the wedding?”

“Chloe,” Beca said slowly. “There’s not going to be a wedding. Remember?”

“Oh, right. I didn’t mean...nevermind. So should we open it?”

Beca sighed and sank onto the bed. This ruse was taking a serious toll on her morals even if it was pervertedly fun and exciting. “I guess?”

Chloe tore into the paper with another squeal to reveal the set of eight hundred-thread count navy blue Egyptian cotton sheets from their registry. “Oh, heck yes!” she said with a grin as she tossed the package in the air. “I’m going to go wash these and they’re going on our bed tonight.”

Beca expected to have a fitful rest when she slid into the luxuriously silky sheets that they basically stole. But when Chloe slid up behind her and draped her arm over her waist while she kissed Beca’s shoulder, she forgot, at least for a little bit, that what they were doing was wrong.

Because something about it all felt so right.

~ ~

“Remember how you were going to call off the wedding?” Beca asked as she zipped her suitcase while sipping from her fresh cup of coffee thanks to her new Keurig. They’d be in a cab to the airport in the next fifteen minutes for a two-week trip to Fiji, courtesy Delta Airlines and the Mitchell and Beale families.

Somehow an entire wedding got planned without either of them having to lift a finger (thanks, Aubrey), everything from rehearsal to dinner to the photographer to the ceremony and reception and the week-long honeymoon that the Bellas all chipped in for: a private bungalow on a neighboring island away from their guests.

“Yeah, you two are a regular Bonnie and...Bonnie,” Amy said as she sat on her suitcase and waved Beca over to zip it.

“Thanks again for your help, Ames.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She watched Chloe double-check the garment bag that contained their dresses. Beca didn’t even remember how it happened; one afternoon they were drinking white wine and suddenly they were in Macy’s picking out dresses suitable for an island wedding. “I will. But let’s get to Fiji first. We’ll announce it at the rehearsal dinner and then we can run off and do our own thing for the rest of the trip.”

“I seriously can’t believe we’re doing this. What is wrong with us?” Beca asked as she shoved her various chargers into her carry-on and made sure her passport was in her purse.

“We’re seizing the day.” Chloe swatted her ass with her own passport before putting it away and opening the door. “Let’s go get married.”

“We’re not getting married!” Beca had to say it for herself as much as for Chloe, it seemed. And that was a little...confusing for Beca.

“You know what I mean. Now, let’s go!”

~ ~

Twenty hours on an airplane was a lot, even with two stops along the way. The longest break was in Los Angeles and that was after a paltry six-and-a-half hour flight. Beca didn’t even need to stretch her legs yet.

It wasn’t all bad, though.

It was nice being upgraded to First Class when they checked in. They’d done it at a self-serve kiosk only for it to send them to the counter. The agent informed them that as a guest of the airline, they would be upgraded. Chloe had looked at Beca with such shock that Beca had to be the one to thank the agent and take their new boarding passes for seats 3A and 3B.

“Uh, excuse me? What just happened?” Amy asked from where she waited behind them.

“We got bumped to First Class,” Beca said, still feeling woozy from it. “I guess because we booked the tickets with the gift card? Whatever; let’s go before they change their mind.”

“You bitches,” Amy grumbled. “You better bring a hot towel back to me in steerage.”

It was nice to not have to sit sandwiched between Chloe and Amy for twenty hours. It was nice to hear Chloe tell the flight attendant they were wedding-bound, even if it was just a ploy to get free champagne (which would have been free anyway because they were in First Class, but Chloe seemed tickled to share the information regardless).

It was nice to have Chloe flip the armrest up between them to lean over and snuggle into Beca while they both settled to sleep for as much as the trans-Pacific journey as possible. Beca moved her arm to put it around Chloe’s waist so she could pull her in closer. And it was nice.

~ ~

“Oh, hell no,” Beca said when she stepped onto the tarmac in Nadi for their connection to Savusavu and saw what was waiting for them. “That’s a fake airplane. Can it even carry our baggage?”

“Well, we all know you have enough emotional baggage for the three of us,” Amy said under her breath and Beca ignored her.

“It’ll be fine, Becs,” Chloe said as she nudged her to start walking toward the plane, which only had six windows along its fuselage.

“I really don’t want to die before our fake wedding.” She let the man waiting by the door help her up the two steps and into the tiny aircraft. She even had to duck so her head wouldn’t hit the ceiling and she yelped when someone grabbed her from behind.

“I promise not to let anything bad happen to you,” Chloe said into her ear before kissing her cheek and peeling off to sit.

It was single seating along the sides of the plane which, by Beca’s count, could seat twelve people. There were only five aboard: their party of three and what appeared to be a couple based on how affectionate they were being even across the narrow aisle between their seats. Chloe seemed to notice them, too, because she reached across the aisle to find and hold Beca’s hand.

~ ~

Just as Aubrey said would happen, there was a van waiting for them when they landed at Savusavu Airport. Beca wasn’t sure how she survived that last leg of the journey between the trying take-off (seriously, it sounded like the engines had asthma) and landing on what amounted to little more than a dirt road. She’d sweat through the back of her tee and it hadn’t been that warm on the plane.

“You okay?” Chloe said with amusement as she plucked Beca’s shirt from where it clung to her skin while they climbed into the van. “You made it in one piece. Told you I’d take care of you.”

“Shut up,” she grumbled but couldn’t help but smile a little at the way Chloe looped their arms together to sit close. It seemed the other couple from the plane wasn’t traveling to their resort and the three of them had the van to themselves.

“Ladies, welcome,” their driver said. “My name is James. I’ll be taking you out to Koro Sun. Vijay will make sure you are comfortable.” He nodded at the man who’d placed their baggage in the back of the van. He was now armed with a tray of rolled white cloths.

“Chilled towel?” he said with a subtle accent as he offered one to Amy with a pair of tongs.

“Ooh, don’t mind if I do,” she said as she promptly unfurled it and put it under her shirt where Beca knew it was getting tucked under her boobs.

“Yeah, thanks,” Beca said after Chloe had accepted hers. She was still working on unrolling it to dab at her face when she hissed at cold landing on the back of her neck.

“You seem to need it more than I do,” Chloe whispered as she massaged her neck a little through the cool cloth. “Ooh, drinks!”

Beca blinked out of the daze she’d been put into to find a green coconut with the top cut off and a brightly colored straw and tiny umbrella sticking out of it. “Is there alcohol in that?” she asked as the man prepared to hand one to her.

“No, but I’m happy to add some.” He was reaching for a bottle of something dark from a spot next to their seat and pouring before she’d even agreed.

“Thanks,” she said when he finally passed it to her. She took a long, long drink. It was amazing. And much-needed.

“Yeah, I’ma need you to hit me up with a spot of that,” Amy said, stretching her arm out and waving her coconut in Vijay’s face.

“Me, too, please,” Chloe said with a polite smile. “Good idea, babe.”

Beca shrugged and took another sip. “When in Rome.”

“Yeah, Shawshank? I thought Chloe was the one who failed Maps? We’re in Fiji. Not Spain.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed to herself. She was in Fiji...to not get married.

What the everloving fuck?

~ ~

“Okay, ladies, here we are! Welcome to Koro Sun Resort.”

Beca peered out the dark window of the van. Despite the tint, it was clear they were deeply in paradise. She could tell the water was blue, or maybe even turquoise. There were trees everywhere and if there weren’t trees there were beaches. Pure, white sandy beaches.

“Coming through! Ladies first!” Amy announced as soon as Vijay opened their door. Beca watched her march toward what appeared to be the main entrance.

“After you,” Beca said with a nod to Chloe.

“Oh, wow,” Chloe said once she was standing outside the van. “Becs, hurry up.” She reached back and took Beca’s hand to pull her out. “Look at this.”

“Oh...wow,” Beca echoed. It was...beyond anything she could imagine. It smelled like rain and flowers and the sea and the only things she could hear were the breeze, birds, and what sounded like a waterfall. She felt Chloe’s arm around her waist.

“This is so romantic,” Chloe said quietly. “Come on; let’s go check in. I want to see our room. Aubrey said it’s an ‘Edgewater Villa.’”

~ ~

True to its name, their private villa was situated against the edge of a lagoon inset from the ocean. They had to get to the front door via a footbridge over a private pool through a garden.

“Okay, I’m here for this,” Beca said as she made her way through the house. It was epically luxurious without crossing the line into tacky territory. Everything felt organic, made from stone and woven plant fibers with windows everywhere to remind them they were surrounded on three sides by water (the fourth was curtained by the rainforest).

Chloe stopped in the kitchen to see what was stocked for them in the refrigerator so Beca kept going until she found a bedroom.

“Oh...right,” she said to herself as she dropped her carry-on on a chair.

“What’s wrong?” Chloe said from behind her before joining her in the center of the room.

“Nothing,” Beca said quickly. “I just...nevermind. It’s dumb.”

Chloe ran her fingers up Beca’s back to make her scrunch up her shoulders. “I’m sure it’s not dumb. Tell me.”

Beca sighed and gestured at the singular king-sized bed. “I was just surprised is all.”

Chloe smiled and gave her a tug toward the bed. “What—because there’s only one bed? Did you forget we sleep with each other every night? Don’t get shy on me now.”

“No,” Beca mumbled. Her face felt hot at Chloe’s choice of words. She let Chloe pull her along until they were both crawling up the bed to flop on their backs to try it out.

“See?” Chloe reached her arm out across the ample space between them. “Way more room than our bed at home. And comfier,” she added as she wriggled around until she was basically wrapped around Beca to defeat her own point of having more space. “Besides, we’re getting married.” Chloe poked Beca’s cheek and then kissed it. “It’s a little late to not want to sleep with me.”

“We’re not getting married.” Beca turned her head and looked down her nose at the bright eyes and giddy smile looking back at her and she shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Mm, anything you want,” Chloe said before kissing her cheek again and then leaping off the bed. “C’mon! There’s a ladder right off our balcony that takes us down to the water! We need to go swimming!”

Beca cleared her throat and sat up to watch Chloe throw open one of her suitcases and pull out a white bikini and start stripping right there in plain sight. “Yeah, I just…” She gawked when Chloe’s bra came off despite her back being turned toward Beca and having seen it a thousand times already. “I just need a minute after that flight.”

~ ~

“Should we be concerned we haven’t seen Amy since we got here?” Beca asked as she combed out her wet hair.

Chloe’s own wet hair thwacked her arm as she flipped it over to put some type of product in it. They were wearing matching white bathrobes fresh from their showers. “She probably has a new boyfriend fanning her with palm fronds in her private courtyard. I wouldn’t worry about her.”

Beca snorted and reached for her moisturizer. “So what’s the deal—do we need to make reservations for dinner? I don’t want to have to wait for a table. I’m fucking tired. What time is it at home?”

“We’re eighteen hours behind New York.”

She glanced at a clock on the wall of the ensuite bathroom and did the math. “So, midnight. Cool.”

“I know; I’m tired, too. But we have to hold out as long as we can to get switched over. I don’t want to be jet-lagged all week when we only have two weeks here.” Chloe’s hair whipped her again as she straightened.

“So, reservations?” Beca reminded as she watched Chloe get the part in her hair straight.

“Oh! No, we don’t need to make reservations. Bree said we get VIP treatment because of our wedding.”

“Right.” Beca looked at their reflections in the wide mirror and Chloe smiled at her through it. She wondered for the umpteenth time how they let this charade get this far. But they were there, so she decided to make the most of it while it lasted. “I’m not going to blow-out my hair. Or put on makeup tonight,” she said as though declaring world peace. “We don’t know anyone here, so fuck it.”

Chloe laughed and bumped her hip with her own. “You don’t need it anyway.”

Beca blushed and reached for her eyeliner as she leaned in toward the mirror.

“You just said you aren’t wearing makeup tonight.”

She paused and looked at Chloe through the mirror again. “This doesn’t count.”

Chloe just shook her head at her and turned to leave. “I’m going to get dressed. Meet me out front.”

“Sure.” She watched Chloe walk away for a second too long because she saw her drop her robe right before she was completely out of sight in their bedroom. It made her hand too unsteady to get her eyeliner on straight so she tossed it back in her bag. “Fuck it.”

~ ~

Once again as Aubrey had promised, they were treated as honored guests as soon as Beca gave the maître d′ her name. Dinner was exquisite, a three-course meal that Beca could only assume was locally sourced.

They were strolling along a path, going opposite the way they came so they could explore a little when the thumping rhythm of bass started mixing with the natural sounds of the environment.

“Do you hear that?” Chloe asked just as Beca noticed it.

“Yeah. It sounds like it’s ahead of us. Let’s check it out.”

They kept walking until they found the source: the resort’s nightclub. “Ooh, a bar! C’mon, I need something fruity with an umbrella in it,” Chloe said with a mischievous smile as she grabbed Beca’s hand to head toward the club.

They were carded at the door—probably Beca’s fault—but as soon as Chloe showed her ID they were both waved through with enthusiastic greetings and shown to a small high-top table marked with a Reserved sign and a waiter descended upon them before they’d even finished hopping onto their stools.

“Welcome to Latitude 17, ladies,” a handsome man wearing a tropical flower-covered shirt said as he placed a pair of napkins on the table. “Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. We’re so happy you chose to spend it with us.”

“Thank you!” Chloe said. “So are we!”

Beca held her tongue; there was no need to tell this stranger they weren’t going to go through with it.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Something tropical,” Chloe answered. “And strong.”

“Me, too,” Beca added. “And make sure hers has a tiny umbrella in it. Please.”

“Of course,” he said with a nod before disappearing toward the bar.

“Okay, I could get used to this,” Chloe said as her hand patted Beca’s knee.

Beca noticed she didn’t remove it once the patting stopped. She hoped their drinks would arrive as quickly as they were seated. “Yeah, same.” She looked around the bar and its tropical theme, hibiscus and greenery everywhere, even hanging from the DJ booth on the other side of the room. It was perfect, and being treated like royalty wasn’t too shabby either. “Is this the only bar in the place I wonder?”

“I haven’t looked at the map yet, so I don’t know. Why?”

“Because Amy’s not here, so there must be another,” she said with a smile and it sent Chloe into a fit of giggles. “Okay, calm down. You’re not even drinking yet; it wasn’t that funny.” She’s not quite sure why she would ever tell Chloe to stop laughing; she looked beautiful when she laughed.

“Maybe she’s not finished with her new boyfriend yet. Ooh!”

Beca turned at Chloe’s excitement to see their waiter returning with two fancy and fruity-looking pink drinks in hand. They both had tiny umbrellas and wedges of pineapple on the rims.

“Mai tais for the lovely ladies in love,” he said with a grand smile as he placed the glasses on the table. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks!” Chloe said as she picked hers up right away. “What should we toast to?”

Beca was slow to respond, still hearing the waiter’s words pinballing around in her brain. “Um,” she said as she picked up her drink and turned to face Chloe. She hoped her undue nerves weren’t obvious.

“I know! To you,” Chloe said before tapping her glass to Beca’s.

“Why me?” she asked before Chloe got the straw to her lips.

Chloe smiled at her. “Because we wouldn’t be here if not for you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Beca said as she rolled her eyes. The guilt came in waves and she felt it rolling in.

“No, no. Stop it,” Chloe said firmly. “We’re in this amazing place and I wouldn’t change it for the world. We’ll deal with our little...situation when the time comes. Let’s just enjoy this while we can, okay?” She punctuated her request with her sad puppy eyes and as usual, it rendered Beca helpless in arguing.

She felt a smile tug at her lips and it made Chloe’s grow until they were grinning at each other. “Fine!” she said. “To me!”

They tapped their glasses again and drank, both wincing at the same time.

“Okay, when I said strong…” Chloe said with a strained voice.

Beca coughed. “They listened.” It burned. And it was delicious. “Here,” she said as she plucked the paper umbrella out of her glass to drop it into Chloe’s. “Since you love them so much.”

Chloe squealed at the addition and took another long sip. “Hurry up and drink that. I want to dance.”

Beca just laughed and shook her head. “Of course you do. And I’m trying! This isn’t really something I can chug.”

Chloe cocked an eyebrow at her.

Her heart sank to her feet. “Chlo—no. That’s not—no.”

“On the count of three! One—”

It was Chloe’s favorite thing. Challenge Beca to a drinking contest. She figured out the little game years ago for the sole purpose of getting Beca drunker, but Beca participated in it nonetheless because competition ran in their blood. “No, I can’t, I’m not even drunk yet—”

“Two—”

“I wasn’t—”

“Three!”

“No! Baby, I wasn’t trying to—shit!” She threw the straw out of her glass to bring it to her lips and start. It burned and made her eyes water and when she slammed her glass down as carefully and victoriously as she could, saw that Chloe hadn’t even started. She was just staring at her over her untouched glass. “What happened?” Beca said with a laugh. “I’m not the only one getting drunk tonight. Go!”

Chloe’s eyelashes fluttered and then she was drinking until there was nothing but ice in her glass. Her face was flushed when she set it down. “Okay. Come dance.” Chloe grabbed Beca’s hand to drag her off her stool and toward the dance floor.

It wasn’t like Beca was resisting, though; she just wasn’t as quick as Chloe off her seat so she ended up being dragged along trying to catch up until Chloe finally stopped in the middle of the semi-crowded dance floor and turned around to face her, already moving to the beat. Beca didn’t know the song but it had a smooth house beat that wasn’t too fast for her liking. It was easy to slide into the rhythm and soon they were dancing in sync.

She and Chloe had spent countless hours on dance floors together over the years. Dancing with Chloe was as natural as breathing for Beca, though it had taken most of their first year as friends to reach that point.

Now she had no hesitations about reaching out and pulling Chloe against her after she’d turned her back to Beca. Her blood was warm and watching Chloe’s hips in her tight white capris wasn’t helping the matter so she decided to own it and wrap her arm around Chloe’s waist while their hips rocked together.

Chloe glanced over her shoulder at the contact and Beca could tell she was warm, too. The alcohol was probably starting to work its magic on her as well, Beca figured, as she winked at Chloe.

She wasn’t really trying to convey anything with it. Nothing more than a message that she was having fun. But it seemed to translate a little differently for Chloe because suddenly she was turning in Beca’s hold to drape an arm over Beca’s shoulder while the other wrapped around her waist to pull their bodies even closer.

They were close enough that Beca could smell the rum on her breath. It felt infinitely hotter on the dance floor and she was sure Chloe could feel the way her lower back was sweating through the thin material of her tank top. She was grateful she had opted for shorts because she was sure she’d be dead if she’d worn jeans.

She was also sure she should be dead from how intensely Chloe was looking at her. They were just dancing; there was no need for her to make that much eye contact. Yet, she was, and Beca wasn’t sure her heart was up to the task of dealing with it. It was really being put through its paces with how Chloe’s gaze kept drifting to what Beca thought might be her lips, though it was equally possible she was looking at, like, her chin. Or her cleavage, which Beca knew was readily visible in the low scoop neck of her top. She knew if she glanced down, she’d have a good view of Chloe’s, too, thanks to her halter top.

She pulled away as soon as the thought crossed her mind. “I need another drink!” she explained when Chloe looked at her questioningly. She was desperate for space but she didn’t get much; Chloe grabbed her hand to follow her off the floor and back to their table. Beca didn’t sit and neither did Chloe; instead, Chloe stood impossibly close to her until Beca had to tug her hand out of Chloe’s grip to sling her arm around her waist instead.

That seemed to make Chloe happy and she did the same, her fingers tucked into the front pocket of Beca’s denim shorts.

“Where’s our guy?” Beca asked as she looked around the room to get her brain and body to cool off.

“There he is!” Chloe said as she hopped a little and waved him down. They had fresh mai tais in short-order.

“I’m not chugging this one,” Beca said as she picked up her glass.

“Wait!” Chloe said before she could take a drink. “We have to make a toast.”

“We already made a toast,” Beca said as she tried to angle herself so she could look at Chloe without being an inch from her face. “To me, remember?”

“That was my toast.” She felt fingers walk up her back and then glide down to hold her waist again. “It’s your turn.”

Beca just shook her head. She wasn’t going to argue it. “Okay, fine. To us.” She smiled and tapped her glass to Chloe’s and drank. She watched Chloe take a sip, too, on a delay again just as she had been when they were supposed to race.

She didn’t think too hard about why that was.

That was a hopeless path of pain to travel down.

Instead, she focused on how nice it was to be able to hold Chloe as she was and how Chloe was holding her the same way and allowed herself to indulge just a little bit in the fantasy they’d created for themselves. That she was at an island resort with her fiancée set to be married in two short days and—

She grabbed Chloe’s hand from around her waist and pulled it up to the table between them. “A ring!”

“What?”

“You don’t have an engagement ring!” She slapped her own left hand on the table, foregoing her hold on Chloe to do so. “Neither do I! If you proposed to me, I should have a ring. And so should you! I wouldn’t not give you a ring. People are going to expect to see them. They’re always obsessed with engagement rings.”

“We’ll just tell them we left them at home to not risk losing them.”

“No!” Beca said. It was loud enough that she saw Chloe flinch. “No,” she tried again. “We’re going to take the shuttle into town first thing in the morning before everyone shows up and we’re going to get engagement rings.”

Chloe’s hand turned to interlace with Beca’s. “That’s really sweet, but I don’t really have money for an engagement ring.”

“We’ll get fake ones. Or some kind of local thing and we’ll tell people we waited until we were here to get something to remember this by.” She watched Chloe’s face soften until it looked like she was maybe going to cry. “Dude, what?”

Chloe laughed a little and shook her head as she cradled Beca’s cheek with her free hand for a second. “You’re really a romantic, aren’t you.”

“What? No,” Beca said, offended for some reason as she tried to crane her neck away from the touch that felt like heaven.

“Yes, you are,” Chloe said firmly before leaning in to kiss Beca’s cheek. She seemed to hesitate before pulling back and Beca’s heart stopped. Then she moved in to kiss her again, this time close enough to the corner of Beca’s mouth to make her head swim. “Let’s finish our drinks so we can go to bed if we have to be up early to go ring shopping.”

“Yeah,” Beca croaked. “Okay.”

~ ~

Beca fell asleep easily, sole credit to the jetlag.

But she woke up two hours later thinking it was time to get up for work only to check her phone to see that it was barely 1:00 am. Any other normal morning at home, she’d have rolled over and fallen right back asleep instead of getting up. But now her brain was awake on New York time and thinking about all the things that happened on their first day on the island.

Chloe changing into her bathing suit. Seeing Chloe drop her robe. Dinner and everyone treating them to the pinnacle of romance. The club. The way Chloe had looked at her, had danced with her, had almost kissed her. Well, she had kissed her, but it was an almost kiss. And the way Chloe had looked at her when she was blathering on and on about rings.

“Can’t sleep?” Chloe murmured next to her.

Her body must have been as restless as her mind. “I’m usually getting up for work right now.” She felt the bed shift and then Chloe’s arm slid around her middle, high enough that Beca had to stop the choking sound from escaping her throat because Chloe’s forearm was definitely touching Beca’s boobs. It was probably an accident, just a miscalculation of an angle, but Chloe didn’t correct it.

She felt lips against her bare shoulder next to the strap of her pajama tank and tried not to shiver. “Pretend you get to sleep in.”

“Trying,” she said with a sigh as she tried to clear her mind of everything yammering in her head.

“Nervous about seeing everybody tomorrow?”

She hadn’t been, but now that Chloe brought it up… “Yeah.”

Chloe squeezed her a little and the motion pushed her arm even more against her boobs. “It’ll be okay. We just have to act like we’re in love.”

Beca sighed but managed to smile a little into the darkness. “I don’t know how good at that I’ll be,” she said, knowing full well she was absolutely head over heels in love with Chloe and no acting would be necessary. She’d been acting like she wasn’t in love with her for years. It would come as a relief to not have to be in a constant mode of restraint. She could take her hand if she wanted, or hug her, or fetch her a fresh drink, or fix an errant lock of hair without raising suspicion.

Chloe chuckled behind her and gave her arm a wiggle. Beca knew it was only meant to jostle her but it scraped right up and over her barely clothed nipples and she shoved her face into her pillow to muffle her gasp.

“I’m pretty sure we know how to act like we’re in love.”

“Mhm,” Beca choked out.

“You know,” Chloe continued and Beca wished more than anything she was narcoleptic so she wouldn’t have to endure it any longer. Her arm started withdrawing and the relief it provided was short-lived because instead of her arm, Chloe’s hand rested on Beca’s stomach. It moved back and forth slowly and Beca wanted to scream. It wasn’t fair, and it was also wrong. She was getting painfully turned on when all Chloe was doing was being her usual touchy self. “People are going to expect us to kiss.”

Beca hadn’t considered that detail in the grand scheme of their scheme. The concept sucked every molecule of oxygen from her lungs. She tried to say, “Oh?” but it came out more like the squawk of one of the parrots she could hear in the trees behind their villa over the sound of the rain. She could feel Chloe’s breath on her shoulder and she twisted her pillow in her fist. It was pure agony.

“Mhm.”

She had to clear her throat because trying to speak failed the first time. “We’ll...cross that bridge when we get to it.” She felt Chloe’s lips on her shoulder again and had to stifle a shiver. The torture needed to end, and fast. “I, uh, think I can fall asleep now.”

“Okay. G’night.”

“Night.”

She didn’t fall asleep for hours.

~ ~

To be continued...

#bechloe #fade into you #fake dating au #fdau #fanfic #IT'S MIDNIGHT SO IT'S TOMORROW #ps getting real tired of my posts not showing up in the tag fix your crap tumblr

112 notes · View notes