#I actually adore creating nonsense short stories from nothings so much

[kynotkaiden]

Guys you know how there are like short pov content that act as prompts for a story but alone gain interest and interaction?

Would writing prompts become part of hs English in the future the same way blogs and that have?

[irenadel]

So I recently read the short story “An Unwilling Apprentice” and found it all sorts of unsatisfying and intriguing, mostly because in canon we are given completely contradictory hints in regards to how old exactly Maul was when Sidious took him and in what circumstances he was taken.

1) Maul seems to remember nothing of Dathomir. True this can happen both if he was taken as a baby too young to remember or by sheer, ornery self-defense against remembering something less shitty that current circumstances.

1) a) Maul’s name: Maul says in Rebels that he used to have a name long ago, that was forgotten, which is just... I’m... it kills me okay? That just outright destroys the fuck out of me. Because it means he’s acknowldging a Dathomir he doesn’t remember, but now knows existed (thanks to Savage and that bitch Talzin, whom I stan), a Time Before Sidious. And also because... I don’t think “Maul” is actually a sithly soubriquet. “Maul” sounds too much like other nightbrother names, which sure, all sound sithly but that’s because Dathomir is neck deep in Dark Side Aesthetics. It’s entirely possible that “Maul” is his actual birth name. Talzin and Savage never call him anything else, though Talzin would have a vested interest in restoring to him any sort of lost name, maybe not in the immadiate aftermath of dragging Maul out of the pit of raving insanity, but at any point afterwards... maybe? a little? Mother Talzin if you named him something less metal please speak up...

2) There is that one depiction of Maul in Son of Dathomir, presumably at the time Sidious just got hold of him.

And like that’s absolutely adorable but he IS too old to not remember anything because of age (then again comic book artists are notorious for drawing weirdly adulty kids), so that means he did not remember because he blocked most of his memories? Well.... my problem with this is that you create a sort of phantom (ha!) preMaul where you have to imagine Maul sans Sidious’s influence and that’s.... strange if you’re not thinking about a baby or a toddler who have just the beginning of a personality. It’s unsatisfactory for me at least, because you strip Maul of all we know of Maul and chase after the shadow of a kid who no longer exists.

3) We have two accounts of how Maul ends up with Sidious, one of them Talzin insisting he was stolen (what does that mean? furtively? or by coercion like Asajj) and the other being Sidious’s account from the comic Son of Dathomir “a not so appreciated gift” or some old sithly nonsense like that. One must consider that both parties are liars, who is the worst liar of the two? who the fuck knows? So it’s entirely possible that both accounts are wrong or one is right or both are bogus.

3) a) Then there’s also that thing where apparently Talzin wanted to be Sidious’s apprentice and like... for what? and how? and why? and how did you think this was gonna come out okay!? You’re already either clan mother or poised to be clan mother, what do you need this shmuck for!? (Wait! did she become clan mother because of what he taught her? Intriguing new possibility) Like with all competent, older dark siders (I see you Dooku) I am always left baffled by how anyone who is both powerful and saavy ever gets roped into siding with Sidious. The dude is like Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: The Movie. There is nothing about him that says Trustworthy... unless he actually has the chance to groom you since childhood. Like I get Maul, Anakin and Ben Solo.... but WTF Dooku and Talzin?! You guys knew better!!!!

3) b) This is happening when Sidious’s own master is still alive right? Whether you take that to be Plagueis or else... So, so, so.... is Sidious hanging around Dathomir to find out a way to kill his own master? Doesn’t he say something along the lines of “I was learning from her when she thought she was learning from me”? I dunno, sounds like a shitty Sidious thing to do.

So all this to say “An Unwilling Apprentice” presents us a scenario where Maul is in Dathomir long enough to be a boy taught by his mother, who is sometimes bullied by other, bigger boys, and old enough to understand fishy things are happening between his mom and the creepy dude (Sidious). And the manipulation is spot on, don’t get me wrong, Sidious does that thing he does with Anakin where he tells Talzin to do horrible things to herself to gain more power and all these things do is drive a wedge between her and her son, all the while he is stoking anger and resentment in Maul, so that when the time comes Maul goes with him willingly even though that was not the deal he and Talzin had struck. So it is true both that this boy is being “stolen” but also given as a sort of gift to Sidious...

It’s just that this author does the thing authors in Star Wars always do, where they ignore previously established canon, because we can’t actually have one coherent galaxy can we? Because... one, Maul is old enough to remember everything... and like okay I can go with him just blocking those memories.... but this also means Maul was taken old enough for Savage to remember and Savage doesn’t seem to in TCW. Let’s grant that Maul is an unreliable narrator who may be supressing memories or lying about how much he remembers.... but SAVAGE doesn’t remember him. How much Savage actually remembers of his brothers and life is also up for debate, given the Dark Side Steroids and brainwashing he underwent, but still.... STILL it seems the only one who fully remembers Maul is Talzin.

But then we have this in “An Unwilling Apprentice”:

“Matters, however, were only to get worse, for later that night, having been hauled from the pit, the boy found himself introduced to those his keeper claimed would become his kin: a tall, wiry boy of a similar age and a stocky, broad shouldered boy at least a year older.

‘These two boys had for too long been starved of the love and attention all children crave, for the keeper was a stern and self-righteous man, and their mother had long before been taken from them to join a mysterious order from which she had never returned. It seemed fitting, then, that the two of them resented the new boy as much as he resented them, for he represented another mouth to feed and another who would vie for the keeper’s scant attention.“

Are the boys bullying Maul, Savage and Feral??? What the hell kind of jump in characterization is this? Because Savage and Feral seem to be adorable bros who just bro around being bros and not harming anyone until Asajj shows up to fuck their whole shit up... And like I get people can change a lot growing up but...... come on, you don’t have time to take me through such a radical change in personality, this is a short story! Or maybe these bullies have nothing to do with his brothers. (There’s another brother mentioned as a “weakling”? Is THAT Savage? But then Savage is definitely Force sensitive and not a weakling.... is it Feral? Why mention weakling brother if we don’t get enough information on him to place him or have him do enough to affect the story? AUGH!)  And there’s the line, “their mother had been taken from them”.... So nightsisters grow up with nightbrothers? What? Is this keeper brother Viscus? What is going on? What insanity is this?

This is what I mean by ignoring canon. Dathomir is presented as a society violently segregated by gender. You never see any young boys with the nightsisters or any young girls with the nightbrother. For all intents and purposes they all live apart until Violent Breeding Ritual of Rapey Undertones ensues. Any story where you want Maul to be raised at least partially by Talzin must account for this segregation and in that sense you don’t actually... need.... the bullies.... they are kind of superfluous.... You have a whole caste system beating down on babyMaul and his mother wanting to keep him besides her. But then once more you have to account for olderMaul remembering nothing of this. Which okay, fair enough, Savage seems not to remember either. Neither of them seem to be scared or even wary of women... though by all means Savage should definitely be....

I just think it was a good plot with a weak setup that ignored a super useful canon setting and does not account for Maul remembering nothing of all of this! 

When considering all of this I wonder if the most interesting explanation is that Maul did spend enough time in Dathomir to remember but he does not from sheer trauma. I think adult Maul seems to depend on Sidious a lot but... he also seems a lot more... I’m not going to say rebellious, but I’ll say “aware” than Anakin. He goes behind Sidious’s back much more than Vader and is way more resentful of his position as a subordinate (and ready to lord his masterdom over Savage as soon as he gets it... but.... harmlessly.....like siths but for babies, babysiths).

Maybe the more interesting view is to think that Maul remembers nothing and it is only upon encountering Savage and Talzin that, little by little, he begins to remember pieces of it. It would explain his sudden loyalty to Talzin. It would explain his desire for a long forgotten name that Sidious never gave him... it would explain... a lot...

[takaraphoenix]

Cruella: Review

There’s a lot to unpack here. Spoilers below the cut. Duh.

The unspoilered short version: Man, this movie was bad. But man, this movie was good.

This movie is if Ocean’s 11 met The Devil Wears Prada and the Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss meme, but Produced By DisneyTM.

Confused? Good.

Let’s start at the beginning.

The first ten minutes or so might be the cringiest bullshit I’ve seen in quite a while. Ooof, that was hard to get through, three times I nearly quit on the spot.

The first, I’d say half of it maybe, were...

If you take this as an actual Disney movie with Disney money put into the writing and thinking of it, man that’s a whole load of cringey dumb nonsense.

If this weren’t a Disney movie, this would be bloody brilliant, because the whole thing comes off like a Disney parody. From the “lol she has her split hair but it’s natural for literally no apparent reason at all” to the “also dalmatians Killed Her Mother” and “because Disney girl, she’s an orphan now” and of course the disturbingly intelligent Disney Animal SidekickTM that seemed so incredibly displaced in a not animated movie and one where the POV are the humans while the animals don’t speak.

This had all the markings of a delightfully silly Disney parody.

Which makes it an incredibly bad Disney movie. Because it doesn’t have the Enchanted charm of intentional self-awareness and poking fun at yourself. It comes off as clumsy and unintentional.

The cast’s brilliant.

The Emmas are absolutely carrying this movie and I think with a different cast, this would not have worked at all. And it’s more than just the Emmas, the whole cast just works, they’re amazing. They play it with the right balance of seriousness and complete camp that makes it come off as a parody.

Part of what makes it seem like a parody is just how they are truly pretending there was a twist there. With the “I am your mother” thing. Anyone who’s ever watched a movie must have known going in that the Baroness is going to turn out to be Cruella’s birth mom, I mean, come on, they projected it so hard. They didn’t even try to make it a twist.

(I can’t get over the “dalmatians killed her mom” bit, I’m sorry. Pause for me to laugh hysterically to myself.)

Let’s talk about the hair.

Why.

Just.

Why.

Even Once Upon a Time had the presence of mind to make that not a natural occurence. And they... didn’t even make it pay off? At all? I kept expecting her to pull off the Baroness’ wig and reveal the trademark black and white hair. A family trait. Solid unshakable proof she is her daughter.

Particularly with the way the Baroness kept her hair covered with some variety of headdress or overly ridiculous wig-hairdo-things. I was so sure there was a reason for that. But then the flashbacks of the pregnancy and birth, nothing, and the movie ends, still nothing.

So, why was that silly, unrealistic detail necessary, exactly? It could have been her persona as Cruella, she starts making a fuss as the fashion designer Cruella and creates this look for herself. To make it her natural hair... there was no point to it, aside from making things weirder and more unrealistic.

I also do have to mention Disney’s once again first ever gay rep. This one’s even worse than the last, I think five, of their first ever queers. Because he isn’t even queer in the movie. At. All. I thought, until the end, that him and Horace might kiss. But... we are really just supposed to assume him as default gay for being the Flamboyant Fashionable Gay Stereotype. That’s a new low when it comes to gay rep, even for Disney. And those are the guys who brought us “unnamed extra nr 5 speaks of having a date with a man at the beginning of Endgame” and “two unnamed women kiss for 0.2 seconds in a Star Wars movie”. At least there was actual confirmation of queerness. And not just “he dresses and behaves like the gay archetype so like that totes counts as rep”. Yikes. Even for you, Disney. Yikes.

Totally loved the found family feel of it all though and the fact that they didn’t force a romance between Estella and Jasper.

And I adored the ending. Faking her own death and blaming it on the Baroness was poetic, brilliant and really refreshing because I was so sure she was gonna have the dogs maul the Baroness to death in revenge. Nice one.

The best part though, not gonna lie, was the entire middle part. The The Devil Wears Prada section of it, if you will. Cruella upstaging the Baroness was amazing and so much fun to watch.

The last gripe I have with it was the mental illness angle. Aside from the whole “psycho” thing concerning the Baroness and the vocally expressed implication that Cruella inherited that from the Baroness and that’s why she is Cruella, there’s also the whole... Estella-Cruella thing. It felt much like Hollywood’s stereotypical portrayal of split-personality, even if it was not labeled as such in the movie. Either way, the movie heavily leaned on the “crazy makes villain! Villain is crazy!!!” angle and... it’s 2021, come the fuck on, especially with something where the source material itself didn’t demonize mental illness in that way, like you’re not even adapting something where that’s ingrained into the story. Why did you have to go there.

I feel like Anita and Roger have to be mentioned, briefly. Much like in the movie. Such a throwaway strange thing to do, quite honestly. Anita went from being her only and best friend in childhood to her... kind of helper reporter lady. But that’s supposed to be the Anita who will work for her and whose dogs Cruella is going to try and murder and in the set up of this movie, that just makes no sense at all, quite frankly.

So, yeah, this movie is a hell of a mixed bag. It was incredibly cringey, but also incredibly enjoyable, the designs and acting were amazing, the writing was less than sub-par, if it weren’t a Disney movie it’d be a brilliant parody but as a Disney movie it feels much like the “how do you do, fellow kids?” meme, as though Disney is trying something but doesn’t quite know how to grasp it because they’re out of touch, and, as always, the representation is just... sad, but what else is new.

[prettywordsyouleft]

To Be Continued - Part 7

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

Word count: 2198

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

It was as if you were writing a new novel. Instead of focusing on how Charli Evers would finally get with her battered beau, you were at the peak of experiencing all the emotions and excitement that came from a new romance. You were enjoying playing the main protagonist for the first time in your life as well.

“What are you doing?” Brian asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. You leaned in even closer, already entangled together on the couch after watching a movie, and lifted your index finger.

“Counting.”

“Counting what?”

“How many lashes I gave you,” you murmured, your gaze honing in on one eye. You let out a whistle when you finished. “I gave you so many! Why are you this perfect?”

“I don’t see myself as perfect at all. You sure made a point of that in my creation, too.”

“How? You’re handsome, protective, honest, playful, charming, sensitive, and did I mention handsome?”

Brian’s lips curled up some from your description. “I think you might have said it twice.”

“Because you truly are that good looking!” you surmised, and Brian chuckled.

“Is being handsome all that matters to you?”

“Well, no.” You blinked a couple of times whilst trying to come up with an answer that didn’t make you feel shallow. The truth was, you really did enjoy looking at him a whole lot.

Over the past two weeks, that was what you had done an awful lot of. No matter what mundane task Brian did, he looked exceptional doing it. His laugh was music to your ears, and his voice made your heart flutter constantly. Any time he smiled, you worried your knees would give way, and on the rare chance they actually did, the way he caught you so easily with his strong embrace had you swooning further.

You wondered if this was all a dream. Instead of Brian coming out of your laptop, and your novel, perhaps you had died from your illness. That would explain why everything lately had felt so heavenly at his side.

Either way, you didn’t want to wake up or move on to the next realm. This was where you wanted to remain forever.

Especially when he kissed you. Leaning in to break you out of your reverie, Brian’s luscious lips pecked yours twice, a chuckle vibrating out of him when you realised you had zoned out again. “You’re too adorable.”

“Hardly.”

“If you keep calling me handsome, I’m allowed to call you how I see you.”

You sighed heavily and attempted to pull away from the man. “I don’t want to be just adorable if you’re handsome, Brian.”

“What do you mean?”

“Charli Evers is beautiful! She’s stunning and successful and has a body that would make any male swoon over her. She’s a goddess, and I’m just adorable.”

“You’re really adorable when you’re jealous,” he mused and shook his head, reaching out to pull you back in close to him again. “Charli isn’t real like you are.”

“What if she comes to her senses and finds out that you’ve left that world. She could come here, and it would be no competition between us!”

“You’re right. It wouldn’t be. Because I’d choose you over her every time.”

You scoffed loudly and pulled yourself away again, going over to the kitchen to get a drink of water to cool down. It was hard enough having insecurities as a person, and when you had lived alone, you barely thought of them, too busy up in worlds like Captivated to truly care. Your flaws, at points, made good fodder for some character traits, but you never wrote yourself fully into a world. You had come close in Destined, but even the main protagonist there was far more charming than you were to hook Park Jinyoung as she had.

Brian’s arms slipped around your waist, and he dropped his chin onto your shoulder. “It’s all about perception. You see Charli as superior to you. But she’s the type of woman you see in a magazine. Flawless, beautiful, and whilst you no doubt have made her relatable to your fans of the series as a person, as she does have a good soul, you are real. You aren’t sculpted to perfection. You aren’t going to star on the front cover of any Vogue or Marie Claire. Instead, you are starring as my leading lady.”

“I’m not sure if I’m flattered or not,” you mumbled, turning around to face Brian. “Maybe I want to be on the front cover.”

“It’s not in your personality to stand out like that. You much prefer this lifestyle. Domestic and homely and comfortable.”

“So she’s sexy, and I’m homely,” you deducted, whilst Brian groaned loudly.

“Can’t we go back to the part where we were thinking of just us? I don’t like you comparing yourself to someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you admitted, lowering your gaze from his. Brian had a habit of making sure you were always looking at him, and he easily fished out your gaze again, smiling gently when he caught your eye. You sighed. “I guess whilst I made you to be the dream guy for me, and those who read my series, I never quite realised the impact you would have on my world if I actually had you.”

“If I have to make a point of telling you how much I appreciate and adore you daily, then so be it.”

“You shouldn’t have to though,” you pointed out, going around him and heading into your office. Brian followed you and leaned against the threshold as you sat down in your chair.

He nodded his head. “No, I suppose I shouldn’t. But isn’t that what makes a relationship work? I support you, and you support me. When one of us feels lower than the other, then it’s important to make sure they feel cherished and loved.”

“Loved?” you repeated, your eyes widening at his choice of words. Brian cleared his throat noisily, looking around your room as opposed to keeping eye contact. You smirked. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

“Isn’t it time to write, Miss Writer?”

“Perhaps I just got some inspiration for my starting point of Eternity. I mean, in the story, Charli Evers is cherished and loved by Brian Kang, isn’t she?”

“Have your fun at my expense.”

“It’s all those good lines I breathed into you. No wonder you make the world swoon, Brian. You’re full of the perfect lines to make any girl weak at the knee,” you told him as you opened your document for the final piece in this story. Admittedly, it was blank and had remained that way for some time. You knew it was because you were too busy with Brian in person that you couldn’t possibly think about writing about him as well.

However, you had received notice from Lily earlier in the day about your next deadline, and so you had promised after one movie tonight, you would end your evening with starting the next novel.

Glancing over at Brian who was still in the doorway, you smiled, and he nodded. “As long as you know it’s your knees I want to make weak every time. Have a good session, my love.”

However, two days later, you were still staring at a blank page. It wasn’t without trying, of course. You wrote, only to erase the sentence immediately. You told yourself to just let the words flow out and not edit them until you were done. Except nothing but a trickle of nonsense made it onto the document each time and after every gruelling session, you found yourself exhausted, mentally, and from simply staring at a blank page.

In all your years of creative writing, you had never been as stumped as you were now. It made no sense! You were living and breathing your own romance in life. Surely, the amount of affection Brian poured over you would easily inspire you enough to write it out. And generally, when you stepped into your office to write, it came from feeling inspired and uplifted to write about a world where love conquered all.

As soon as you were in front of your laptop, however, words failed you.

You had tried everything, from changing your writing schedule to practising with unrelated scenes. That had you hopeful. Every time you wrote a drabble about something outside of this series, you were capable of penning an entire world. In fact, you had now written a series of short stories about random characters and scenarios with relative ease. The success you felt from doing these was short-lived as soon as you opened Eternity, however. Nothing formed, nothing came to mind.

Nothing.

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to share Brian with Charli,” you wondered out loud, immediately shaking your head. Whilst the Brian you were falling for fast, was that of the same Brian Charli would risk her all for, inside your literary world, you felt no need to keep him to yourself. You wanted Charli and Brian’s story to wrap up with a neat bow after their final tribulations of proving their love would outshine the obstacles in their way. You were determined to gift your readers what you had planned all along for the star-crossed lovers. And you needed to send Charli off on her merry way with a confirmed end.

Whilst your story with Brian continued.

“Just write something, Y/N!” you instructed yourself to do, poising your fingers above the keys.

It was a struggle, but they began to move, and you hoped this time would be the official start of your novel.

“So, what do you think?” you asked cautiously, staring at Lily as she read over what you had sent her.

Your editor didn’t say a thing, and sometimes that was a good notion. You had rendered her speechless yet again.

However, you knew better than that. She wasn’t speechless, she was in disbelief. Lily finally looked at the web camera on the video call and blinked several times. Pulling off her glasses, she wiped at them before placing them back over her eyes. And then she screamed incoherently.

“Lily, I can explain.”

“You better, and fast,” your editor stated back, trying to recompose herself. “This isn’t your writing.”

“Well, it is,” you told her, attempting to smile. Her laser glare wiped it off your lips, and you groaned. “So I think I’m having a writer’s block.”

“But you don’t suffer from writer’s blocks, you overcome them before they get to that level. What have you been doing for the last month that this is all you can turn in for me to look over?!”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied,” you announced, rocking back and forth in your chair. “And it’s sort of been hard to write.”

“I don’t buy it. You love to write.”

“I mean, I have been writing,” you agreed, grinning sheepishly. “Just not on what I’m contracted to be doing.”

“Y/N!” she whined, and you sighed heavily. “How are you going to make up time if you don’t even have a first chapter formed?!”

“I don’t know exactly, but do you think delaying the third story, especially since my second one is only at the publisher’s now preparing to print, can happen? I’m sure we don’t need to bang this series out one after the other. The hype from the wait will make it only more worthwhile for the fans!”

“Not if you plan on producing this type of rubbish! There’s no life in this part you’ve sent me! It’s as if Brian’s soul was sucked clear of this world and only Charli remains.”

You choked on the drink you had reached for, and this alerted the man in the adjacent room, your hands waving him off inconspicuously before Lily saw him.

You didn’t know what your editor’s reaction would be to find out your writer’s block stemmed from you dating someone. And you certainly didn’t want to find out either.

“That’s it, I’m coming over!”

“Lily, that’s unnecessary. You don’t have to!”

“Oh, but I do. My star writer is fumbling around and not focusing enough on what she needs to be doing. Boot camp is on its way.”

“I could help her,” a new voice added to the conversation and you clamped your eyes shut as you heard the wind being knocked out of Lily entirely. Brian crouched down at your side and smiled at the camera. “Lily Morton, correct?”

“You know my name.”

“Of course. You’re an important figure in my life.”

“I… I am?!”

“I mean, you help Y/N with her stories a whole deal, so that’s a special role to have.”

“Y/N, who is this person? He looks far too familiar and yet I feel I haven’t quite met him in the flesh before.”

“It’s a--” Catching yourself from your stalemate sentence, you smiled. And for some reason, you felt compelled to introduce him properly to someone. Before you even realised it, the words fell from your mouth.

“You’ve kind of met him already, Lily. This is Brian Kang, the star of our series.”

_________________

Part 8

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[m39]

Hiveswap: Act 2 review

It’s the end of November. The shitshow known as 2020 will soon come to an end. So why not talk about Hiveswap: Act 2 for a minute? As I said days ago, Act 2 didn’t suck major ass. Overall I thought it was pretty good. Unfortunately, like many games, it also has some bullshit in it.

Just to warn you up before we start: While I’m not gonna talk about major spoilers from the game, there still will be topics that might be considered as one. Proceed with caution.

Byers-Tier of Awesomeness(positives):

Let’s start with the story. I kinda enjoyed it. It starts off slow but when it reaches the 2nd act (as in, the train), it gets better. We get the target location to get there and we are under the time limit to do so. So yeah, a solid motivation to go forward, and it makes sense what we are doing with the train.

The characters, however, are probably the best thing in Act 2, particularly our two main protagonists. I fucking adore Joey and Xefros! I adore what they do! I adore the dialogues between them! I fucking adore them! I fucking adore them!! I!!! FUCKING!!! ADORE!!! THEM!!!

As for the rest of the cast, it was mostly good. I kind of expected that the characters would act differently than in Friendsim(since you know, different people were writing them), but most of the time, I think they were acting like in the Friendsim. Sure, some of them could stick up for more time and there is definitely one troll who overestimated hER WELCOME but I’ll talk about it later.

There isn’t really much to talk about the graphics about it. Both backgrounds and characters look amazing and props to the artists for a fantastic work.

The soundtrack is still God-tier. Then again, it’s James Roach and Toby Fox (with some help from Clark Powell). These guys can make gold out of thin air. My three favorite music pieces were the first three variations of Ticket to Ride (the last one especially was stuck in my head for a long time)

Now let me show you some of the highlights from the game (particularly, the train ones):

The first act (before the train): The bug lusii from Charun’s and Zebede’s hives and the train station. Their design is awesome and I want to pet them.

Rust/Bronze wagon: It was kinda hard to choose the highlight from this section since it’s pretty short but I think I’ll go with Skylla. Her smile fucking broke me!

Gold/Olive wagon: The wagon itself was the best part of this section since it reminded me of the trains (railbuses to be exact) I used to take in the past. Asides from that, there is also Konyyl.

Jade/Teal wagon: Ignoring how the trial was a chore, Tyzias was a fucking savage beast in this game and I fucking love her for that. The best part was how she and Joey basically straight out humiliated Tegiri for being such an attention-seeking failure of a Tealblood. Stuff like this makes Tyzias the best troll out of her caste (in Hiveswap of course).

Blue/Indigo wagon: Amisia.

…

What? You want me to say more? NOPE! There is nothing else to add. Amisia is still the best! She was an adorable, murderous child back then, in Friendsim, and she’s still the same child now. I fucking love her!

I’m not going to talk about what happens in the third act because, you know, spoilers, but let me tell you: it gets fucking intense.

Septic Tank of Caliborn’s Yaoi Filth(negatives):

Unfortunately, Hiveswap: Act 2 is not all fine and dandy as you might have guessed. It can be infuriating sometimes.

Let’s start with the most obvious con: The trial in the Jade/Teal wagon. It drags the game out for way too long. When I was playing the game, it was around 10-11 PM when I reached this wagon. I’ve decided to finish Act 2 the next day after finishing that part of the game. Unfortunately, it went on, and on, and on for so long that I’ve decided: Fuck it! and stopped when I reached the recess. Sure, there are some funny moments like the one I’ve mentioned before but when you create a segment that feels like it’s ten times longer than it actually is, shows that you need to triple-check your in-making game before releasing it.

Now for my personal worst aspect of Act 2: Elwurd. Good, fucking, GOD!!! I fucking hate this one-note character for being such a plank of wood! The fact that we have to overly rely on her of all the trolls pisses me off even more! I’m serious, we are forced to ask her for help like three to four times to go further! Let me show you an example: You receive an item that you have to show to another troll. To make it look more convincing, you need Remele to cover it in paint. Now here’s the catch: In order to get the painted item, directly talking to her will do shit! Seriously! You have to talk to a plank of wood with I’M GAY written all over it to actually get help from Remele!!

OKAY! TIME OUT! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHICH ONE OF THE WRITERS DECIDED IT WILL BE A GREAT IDEA TO TURN JOEY INTO A FUCKING SIMP?!?! Is it because they want to develop Joey in terms of her sexuality?! Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to use someone who’s attitude screams GIMME DA PUSSAY every time there is a dialogue with her!! Like, for fuck sake, Tegiri was more enjoyable to watch! Hell, Zebruh, of all trolls, was more bearable than Elwurd! And we are supposed to hate his guts!! You could have make Joey ask for help from the other trolls that didn’t really shined in this game but NO! You are forcing us to pick the most boring one for help over and over again!! GOD FU-

technical difficulties

Okay, this rant was going on for too far. Let’s change the topic.

For some unknown reasons, Zebede and Charun were not in this game. Like, we saw them on promotional media and I saw that they were probably finished so the reason why the rest of the cast was in Act 2 but not them is nonsensical.

Although the artwork is still amazing, it feels rushed and unpolished in some places. For instance when Joey and Xefros are passed out, instead of the animation of them waking and standing up, they just… POP And now they stand up.

…

Okay?!

Also I would prefer for items to be more usable.

And that’s basically all stuff that I have to say about Hiveswap: Act 2.

Before I’ll end up my review, however, there is one last elephant in the room that needs to be said about: the credits that weren’t implemented when this game was released a few days ago. While the reason behind this decision can be considered reasonable (as is, avoiding a backlash until the hype wents out) since some of the fans can be considered complete nutcases straight out of Arkham Asylum, the decision itself overall feels hyperbolic to me. I saw many artists who were showing the assets from the game that they were working on, and they were proud of their work. They wanted to share it with fans and they were greeted with a very warm response from the fans. It basically looks more like it was about the writers and directors not getting a backlash for the decisions they created since some of them were working on the highly controversial Epilogues and an even worse sequel to them. If that was the case, then why not just have the credits from the beginning but without the directors and writers until around three months pass? There! Problem solved!

Summary:

Despite the trial, despite Elwurd being Elwurd, lack of two characters and the overall roughness, Hiveswap: Act 2 is still a very good game. While I don’t believe anymore that any of the future installments will give us the same level of magic that Act 1 did, I was still satisfied with what we got.

Before I’ll finally take a break from Homestuck for a long time, let me tell you something. The beginning of the game with the train in the background felt like this:

After finishing it, the atmosphere changed to this:

I’ll let you feel it for a moment. >:]

See you all next time.

Bye!

[norahastuff]

Dean was applying to be a cop in the finale!? Gosh it’s like someone who’s never seen the show or only seen the first season wrote it. Deans never been a dog person. Dean would never leave Cas like that and have fun at that pie fest talking about moving on. Jesus not even a second of that episode was in character. I’m so sick of shows having s1 HIMYM like endings ugh

The thing is HIMYM? Yeah it was a bad finale and it didn’t make any sense to shoehorn in the ending they’d written back in s1 at the end of an 8 season-long series - characters grow and change in ways you wouldn’t expect them to back when you first created the series - but HIMYM foreshadowed that ending. A lot. The entire final season they pointed towards what was going to happen. Actually, even the season before had a couple of pretty anvil heavy scenes that showed what the endgame was eventually going to be. Spn didn’t do that.

I can very easily accept series finales I don’t like as long as they make sense and I can see how we got there. I’m a very “journey, not destination” kind of tv watcher, so a bad finale doesn’t usually ruin the rest of the story for me...this is kind of a first though. Because why spend so much of your season (seasons plural?) focusing on found family? On how important Dean and Cas’ relationship is? On what a profound impact Cas had on Dean’s life? On how Cas’ powers were fading? On all the problems with heaven and hell and the empty? That last one was a pretty big thing that was referenced in multiple episodes and then just no follow-up. All of that (besides the Dean and Cas stuff) was just handwaved by Bobby saying Jack fixed it. Actually that’s not true. Bobby said Jack fixed heaven, nothing about hell or The Empty.

I’ve been thinking about it lately trying to make sense of it all, and it felt very in tune with Singer’s vision of the show, or at least my perception of what I see as Singer’s version of the show based on the way I’ve heard him talk in interviews/panels over the years.  And I want to stress this is all just complete speculation on my part and I’m not even saying it’s what I think happened, we don’t really even know enough to say, but from everything I’ve heard him say in the past, it did seem like he had a very brothers only view of the show, and that his ending would reflect that. I mean Dabb wrote the episode...but he’s also been the showrunner that put the most focus on found family and growth, and you can’t see either of those things in the finale. I do hope that by some magic we someday see a pre-covid version of the script. It’s entirely possible it mightn’t be good either, Jensen did have problems with it, but I have to imagine it would at least make a little more sense. 

I mean at least we might have been spared Dean not being allowed to interact with anyone and anything in heaven besides his car and the double carry on extravaganza. Maybe there would have been some resolution of all those dropped plotlines. Maybe Cas and his impact on Dean’s life would have been granted more importance than a brief smile from Dean...though I still maintain how easy it would have been, even in this nonsensical version of the finale we got, for Sam and Dean to have a short conversation where Dean talks about how he’s trying to be the man Cas thought he was and needs to carry on and perhaps even *gasp* show some emotion about his best friend of12 years dying for him. That was the subtext of what Dean was doing anyway so why not just say it?

But if originally in the finale there was supposed to be some kind of acknowledgment of Cas from Dean (I’m not talking explicitly romantic here) it would maybe be possible to write off Dean not saying anything at the pie fest because we’d perhaps see it at another point. But in the version of the finale we saw, there was no “Dean’s feelings for Cas” related moment (Jimmy Novak related or otherwise - don’t get me started!) so it just seems hollow and empty.

I don’t know if Dabb was just done by the time post covid rewrites came around and didn’t want to revise the script taking into account that there wouldn’t been any Cas/Misha/Jimmy (lord help me) appearance. I mean it’s not a conspiracy to say Misha was supposed to be in the finale so Cas’ significance was going to be felt in some way (regardless of how big or small that was supposed to be) and yet in the final version there’s no real indication at all that Cas mattered, to the story or to Dean. Like it’s not rocket science to say if an important main character who’s been on the show for 12 years and has profound relationship with one of the lead characters, a relationship that was given extended focus in the final season, if that character or actor is supposed to have an appearance in the finale and it gets cut for whatever reason, you rewrite a scene or two to reflect what would have been shown in the cut scenes. And Dabb seemingly didn’t do that, for whatever reason.

So yeah...to be honest that’s kind of where I’ve landed on this. It looks to me like Dabb stopped trying and/or caring at the end, whether that’s because of external pressure or because he just thought “meh good enough” (I don’t doubt that Singer probably thought it was good enough) I mean I don’t think that’s something we’ll ever know unless he talks, and he’s not exactly known for being forthcoming. 

As for finding out the details of the original ending? I don’t know if/when that will happen, but it certainly seems more likely than Dabb revealing his motivations and decision-making process. 

Oh and the job thing...not to defend the finale but was it ever proven that the application was to be a cop? I didn’t notice it when I watched the ep, and I have no intention of rewatching it. I mean Dean’s in the database a dead serial killer many times over. Don’t think that would go down too well at the interview. 

Yeah and in regards to the dog...I got nothing. I think the thought process was Jensen looks adorable hugging a dog and since we’re throwing the rest of his character’s personality out the window, what’s one more trait?

[k-corner]

Ashes of Love: The Problem with the ‘Protagonists’ Actions and Characterization, and an In-Depth Look at their Concerning ‘Romance’

Now, as anyone would be led to think about my opinion of Ashes of Love based on previous things I’ve written is that I didn’t like it. Nothing could be further from the truth. I adore Ashes of Love and the imperfect world that it’s created and most of the stories that unfolded from there. Unfortunately, the odd thing that has to be addressed is my absolute loathing for the supposed ‘protagonists’ of the story Jin Mi and Xu Feng, and that’s long before I get into the idea of their absolutely creepy romance. Now I’ve watched Ashes of Love about four times now before this post idea hit me, only wholly through once and the others were more picking the episodes I liked and skipping around, but I was curious why I hated what was arguably the backbone of the entire show. If there was no Jin Mi and Xu Feng and their ill-fated romance then wasn’t there no show? Isn’t their love supposed to be the thing that drives the plot forward and fleshes out all of the characters around them?

I’d actually argue that they’re not, and I do think that’s one of the biggest problems that Ashes of Love has.

That’s not to mean that I despise all of the time spent on secondary characters and their motivations. I actually think that so much time on the secondary characters saved the show. I think it was necessary to know why Run Yu became the token ‘bad guy’ in order to try avoiding the ‘second male lead is evil just because’ trope. I think it was necessary to have other characters for the audience to root for or like outside of the main characters. Unfortunately Ashes of Love even with all of this extra backstory never manages to accomplish the Run Yu task and gives up near the end to just make Run Yu Evil Incarnate™ just because. I’ll touch on the problems with Run Yu and his storyline/characterization in Ashes of Love in another post. This one is focused on my impressions and read on Jin Mi and Xu Feng.

Now in order for me to truly understand why I despised these characters so, I decided to rewatch their scenes without the distraction of other characters storylines and really try to wrap my mind around why I just couldn’t get behind these characters. Unfortunately these days we have to add this, but these are my personal opinions. Respond accordingly. 

Here were the results: 

Part One: Plot Problems and Character Actions -

Right away, jumping into the story we have the inciting incident that starts us on our journey through this world. Zi Fen, the Flower Immortal and Jin Mi’s mother, has experienced a series of horrifying events and fears that her daughter will go through something similar and attempts to circumvent that problem in the strangest way possible: she decides to take away Jin Mi’s ability to understand love. This is a simple enough start, however already the narrative fails to deliver on what this actually means and what this little anti-love pill does. Jin Mi is portrayed as someone who can feel love but cannot understand love. And not all love, just romantic love. She loves her friends plenty but does not understand the subtle nuances of her feelings for Xu Feng.

Xu Feng and Jin Mi have a chance meeting when Xu Feng’s assassination attempt lands him right in Jin Mi’s backyard. The two strike up a quick friendship and Jin Mi runs away from home to go off with Xu Feng. Upon getting to the troubled Heaven Realm she meets the secondary male lead Run Yu and strikes up a bond with him. Through a series of quirky events we find out that Jin Mi is no ordinary grape fairy but instead the daughter of the Water Immortal and the Flower Immortal! What? Who knew? Just kidding, we all did, or at least the second parent. After this the narrative comes up with an obstacle for these star-crossed lovers – Jin Mi is engaged to Run Yu! She’s the bride he’s waited thousands of years for! Oh the drama!

Here's where the plot really starts to fall apart though. I’d argue that they should have scrapped the majority of the demon realm arc and give more time to the before period of Jin Mi and Xu Feng prior to finding out that she’s the Water Immortal’s daughter and bringing in The Engagement. Why? Because Jin Mi’s naïve personality and Xu Feng’s constant hounding starts to lose momentum once this piece of information is revealed. At that point I still found myself asking ‘Why are they together? Why are they so determined to be together? Why is their love so intense and eternal?’. We needed more scenes of just the two of them building a serious relationship instead of just short comedic and cutesy scenes between them. I truly don’t feel that the narrative gives us an answer for any of those questions other than a ‘because it’s their love story duh!’ response. As much as these are immortals going through thousands of years, the narrative never really does a good job showing that a good chunk of time is passing and it feels like all of this nonsense is taking place right after the other. It gives a feeling of weakness to the main characters love and their trials. It feels too new, it feels untested and like the roots it has are unearned and just exist just because it says they do. [Understand this is the show and not the novel which I have heard is better at handling this problem and is nothing like the show not that I’ve read it]

This leads into the problem that really started to drag on me. The Engagement.

For how flippantly Xu Feng seems to believe that anyone can end this engagement at any time: see him tell Jin Mi she doesn’t have to, see him ask Run Yu several times to break it and so on and so forth; it doesn’t make any sense to the rules of this engagement. The Water Immortal and Run Yu express that it is an absolute, and that breaking it in terms of the Night Immortal equals demoting to the human world and stripping of their immortal title. That seems like a heavy price to pay to break this engagement and yet several times this heaviness is undersold by the narrative as a ‘Water Immortal almost ends it but Run Yu manages to say tricky words because he’s a tricky little schemer watch him scheme’. Later Jin Mi decides not to tell Run Yu that she wants to end the engagement in order to spare his feelings. The strength of the engagement and the consequences of it never really settle and it’s confusing up until the end. Not to mention, just the politics of it all.

Ashes of Love is a heavily politics driven show but not in a completely BAM in your face sort of way but more as the setting/backdrop/reasons why people are stupid sort of way. It never fully addresses the issue of Xu Feng’s constant chasing of Jin Mi considering that the eldest royal brother is already in a pre-contract engagement with her that has been there for at least several thousand years. Xu Feng seems unchallenged by the rules and continues blatantly chasing Jin Mi throughout it all.

The secondary characters need to push Jin Mi and Xu Feng together doesn’t truly make rational sense either. Jin Mi is engaged to Run Yu so why is the Moon Immortal and Immortal Yuan Ji going to Xu Feng to discuss acceptable choices in Jin Mi’s human redemption? Why does no one intervene in the Moon Immortal using his strings to tie the two together in the mortal realm? Why doesn’t anyone point out how out of line Xu Feng’s reactions are and how much he’s insulting and shaming Run Yu?

The return from the mortal realm is where things really fall apart long before the demon world arc. In fact, I’m not even going to mention the demon world arc because at this point is where my feelings on the main characters were solidified and I could no longer find it in myself to care about them in the slightest. A big thing in the show is the Engagement and the problems that it causes for Jin Mi and Xu Feng to come together. During the mortal realm we as the audience were able to see how much danger Jin Mi was in and how much extra effort Run Yu went through to protect her while Xu Feng was off playing mortal with her. Jin Mi returns and acknowledges that she loves Xu Feng. She wants to be with Xu Feng, but her father basically tells her no. That ‘human Jin Mi’ and ‘Immortal Jin Mi’ have different responsibilities and requirements to fulfil. Jin Mi then goes and does two things: one she does not break off the engagement accepting Run Yu’s request for time during his mourning; and two she has sex with Xu Feng.

…While still engaged – to Xu Feng’s brother. While Xu Feng’s brother is in a fragile state so she didn’t want to hurt him by breaking off the engagement, she goes off and starts a sexual relationship with Xu Feng which is so much worse than just telling him no to the marriage.

Then the next problem occurs – the Water Immortal and the Wind Immortal are murdered! There’s evidence that Xu Feng did it! Not just that - Run Yu finds out about Jin Mi’s affair and infidelity and restores the no love pill inside of her to put a stop to it! Drama!

This leads Jin Mi to accepting her responsibility and duty to the contract and goes to marry Run Yu, but wait! There’s more! Xu Feng arrives at the wedding to stop a coup from Run Yu [sorely needed coup] and Jin Mi kills him! Shook! Shock! Only then does the pill break fully and Jin Mi is released from the spell but it’s too late! She’s killed her love! Commence with the convenient restoring him to life plan and Jin Mi’s inability to let go of Xu Feng and her guilt about what she did – although she will eventually throw all of the blame onto Run Yu in order to clear herself of wrongdoing because ‘she was deceived’ and the narrative will side with her on this in order to clear up the problem of Jin Mi acting of her own accord to enact revenge and cannot handle what she did after she realizes that she didn’t have all of the proper facts. So she can’t be guilty even though she did it – the Evil Incarnate Run Yu™ was solely responsible [cue eyeroll].

This all accumulates in the major part of the plotline wherein we’ve followed the meeting of these two, the falling in love, the obstacles and the separation and return. Unfortunately the narrative never fully manages to give these lovers a weight to their story making their struggle seem pointless, self-created and exhausting. The problems they’re having are by their own hands and it never gives me, in my opinion, a reason to believe why they can’t let go of each other.

Xu Feng has no true hardships to overcome. He’s the spoiled prince who everyone loves despite being an arrogant bird. He’s loved by the beautiful Sui He but he’s so put upon because he doesn’t want her. He chases after his brother’s fiancé and gets annoyed that his brother won’t relent and give her to him. He goes down to the mortal realm to protect her but becomes useless in that endeavor and just plays king, because his mother refuses for him to have true hardships, and goes after the girl that he has no reason why he should be going after her and why no one is stepping in to prevent this. He’s unchallenged by any character. Overpowered and adored. Everyone prefers him. Everyone loves him. He has no real growth or reason to grow because everyone becomes ‘yes men’ in his presence and lets him do what he wants with no consequence. He’s blind to his parents true natures and cruelty to the worlds at large, coming across as sheltered and self-righteous in the worst ways. He’s not a hero, he’s a spoiled prince being denied a toy for the first time and he doesn’t like it.

Jin Mi goes from hopelessly sheltered and naïve to cheating fiancé. Neither character are very likeable or able to be stood behind despite everyone doing it for reasons unknown.

Side Note Expansion of the OP- Rant Ahead: If you can’t tell, I can’t get over the affair. Honestly at that point they became absolutely irredeemable which is why I didn’t need to go into the demon realm arc. There was no reason for it at all. Don’t care if you ‘love him’, you had the option to break the engagement or at least mention it. You are a piece of shit character and Xu Feng is worse sleeping with his brother’s fiancé after pawing at her for who knows how long. Run Yu could have been the evilest of evil and yet he still wouldn’t deserve that to be done to him because NO ONE DESERVES THAT! Having witnessed it before I know how much something like that fucks you up; and regardless of it being an ‘arranged marriage’ and ‘oh but Jin Mi truly loves Xu Feng’ – to Jin Mi it references that Run Yu and her were supposedly friends and that she cared about him as a friend and just not as a lover, and Jin Mi and everyone in the Heaven Realm knew how Run Yu cared for her. You don’t do that to your friends. You don’t do that to your enemies. You don’t do that to your future spouse and certainly not with their brother.

Part Two: Issues with Characterization Coming Next

[smokeybrandreviews]

Bat Kino

I’ve been sh*tting on current state of Batman for a while now.  Everything just seems so vapid, so mundane. Between The Batman who Laughs and the forced nature of Punchline, I'm relatively exhausted with the whole Bat-situation taking place in mainstream DC. Joker Was is having it’s moments but I'm not entirely impressed with it, especially considering it’s been in the kitchen for two whole f*cking years. Bats asked the Mobius Chair who the Joker was way back during Darkseid War. Thems were the dark days of the New 52 but i did like some of the stuff that came out of there. Batman was brilliant. I really like Grail and her introduction was executed much better than f*cking Punchline. the new Anti-Monitor reminds a lot of Marvel’s Apocalypse and i love me some Apocalypse. This is a tangent. My point is, Batman has lost it’s luster since Snyder left the book.

It’s wild saying that because i know he’s the architect of TBWL and Dark Nights Metal wonkiness. I’m no fan of any of that Dark Multiverse nonsense or the insane power creep he keeps giving to his OC but he wrote some of the best Bat-stories, Death in the Family and Court of Owls, available. I just wish we can get back to that level of story telling and not some shonen manga-esque pandering I'm seeing in comics s of late. Unfortunately, i think that ship has sailed. We are full-steam into cash grab territory with all of this TBWL overexposure, though, I'll admit, what little I've seen of Joker War, it’s not terrible. It’s not that good either. I rather liked the Batgirl book, that was awesome. I did not like literally everything that came after. Like, leave Dick alone, man. Dude’s life after the New 52 is nothing but pain ad he’s supposed to be the happy, well adjusted, one. And don’t even get me started on whatever the Three Jokers arc is going to be. At least that is an Elseworlds story, or Black Label as they're tagging them now, which is the saving grace of the Bat-verse and the point of this essay.

The White Knight Universe is so f*cking good, man! This hole run is some of the best Batman i have read in years. I’m a sucker for character development and this has it in spades. Bruce, himself, goes through some sh*t, man. His arc feels like one of those The End stories from Marvel, but executed with so much more narrative precision. A lot of that rich narrative is credited to Sean Murphy. His vision for the Bat, Gotham City, an it’s denizens was a breath of fresh air. Dude has an outstanding handle of the entire Bat-mythos and was able to create sort of a greatest hits out of Bruce’s entire history. I don’t want to spoil too much, but think the Batman Who Laughs, but in reverse, and actually good. There’s are real pathos and consequences for certain actions taken early on, which leads to a very finite end. An end for everything Batman. Or so you’d think. This version of The Dark Knight’s world would be revisited with a short in the Harley: Black, White, and Red anthology. It’s a cute valentine’s day story about our darling Harley Quinn, in the aftermath of all that White Knight drama and it comes across as incredibly endearing. This one wasn’t scribed by Sean Murphy, but his wife, Katana Collins. She writes romance novels and that ear to romance definitely shines through. Her Harley series set in the White Knight universe is one to watch and I'm definitely keeping an eye on it’s release. Speaking of Harley, she just might be the best thing about this entire series.

I’m not a Harley apologist or fanboy but I'm old enough to remember her introduction way back in Batman: The Animated Series. A few characters have made that jump from one media into the comics, Mercy Graves, Renee Montoya, even the current Batgirl was created for that old, campy ass, sixties show, but Harley is easily the best of that lot. Watching her grow into her own as both a character and in popularity has been a real pleasure. that’s probably why i hate Punchline so much. Harley earned her station. She  was able to become her own character independent of the Joker. Harl’s fought to be seen as her own person and, after years of great writing and development finally stood atop that mountain. Punchline has none of that. She just came out of no where, killed her dean because reasons, and is now one of the best combatants in the entire DC universe. Talk about a Mary Sue. That’s why i like the Harleen in the White Knight world so much. She feels like the natural progression of my Harley, the Harley that fought to free herself from Joker and grow into an independent force in her own right. That Harley is f*cking adorable and, as if to beat a dead horse, there is a second, crazier, Harley in that story! Marian Drews is Harley's “replacement” after things occur and she eventually become a full-blown problem. She goes by Neo Joker in her full appearance but she started as a Harley Quinn. Marian is a better Punchline than the actual Punchline and that’s wild to me.

I love this run. Both of them. Batman: The White Knight actually got a sequel series called Batman: Curse of the White Knight. Both series run together a little bit but the overall story is incredible. The art is spectacular. I love the reimagings of all things Bat, especially Jean-Paul Valley and his whole shtick I don’t want to spend too much time on the look of this book, it’s excellent, some of the best Bat-art I've seen since Capullo in the beginning days of the New 52, but the narrative and world building is what shines through with this run. The White Knight universe is the anti-thesis of whatever the f*ck is going on in the main titles right now. As a Black Label book, it can do whatever the f*ck it wants and you can see Murphy has done exactly that. There is a proper story here, nothing feels loose or useless, and there are legitimate consequences to certain narrative beats that keep you completely engaged. This story feels like what Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy would have been if it were a comic book. This reads with all of the reverence and love we got from the Arkham games. Batman: The White Knight is an excellent read and one of the absolute best takes on the Bat-mythos I've seen in decades and this is coming from a Marvel apologist. I love these book, I love this world, and i cannot wait to see where they take Bruce next.

[hexlikesramennoodles]

All Yours (All Mine)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington Rating: T Warnings: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse Word count: ~2.3k

At some point during their off again friends, on again fuckbuddies phase, Billy had rolled over in bed and said to Steve, You know, you’re pretty and all, but you’re also kind of weird-looking.

It was the kind of comment that was intended to be as insulting as it sounded. They had a routine, and they stuck to it. A routine where Billy would end up in Steve’s bed and things would shift for a night, and then they’d come full circle. Billy would try his best to put his foot in his mouth, letting slip to Steve something like, I’ve had better sex with girls or don’t think this means I actually give a damn, Harrington and instead of walking home with a full belly of pancakes (or whatever other stupid romantic venture Steve has in mind for their mornings after, Billy never stays long enough to find out), Billy would walk home with a split lip and bandy legs, and that dangerous shift—cosmic, spiritual, physical, personal—would be corrected.

It’s better that way, Billy reasoned. Saner. Neither of them can afford to get too comfortable.

“What are you drawing?” Steve asks.

His foot is touching Billy’s under the table, in full view of the cafeteria. Billy doesn’t look up. His chocolate pudding sits unopened next to his elbow, the fingers of his other hand curled protectively over his napkin, hiding it from Steve’s line of sight.

“Nothing,” he huffs.

Steve arches an eyebrow, plastic spoon protruding from the corner of his mouth. He looks fucking adorable. Billy presses the tip of his pen into the napkin, rendering the shape of Steve’s lips in violent navy slashes. It’s not his best work. He’s no Van Gogh.

But. It’s something.

“Show me,” Steve says. He’s got that look in his eye. A wet shine, like light winking off a sharp edge. He knows Billy well enough by now to just understand.

They’re more on than off, these days.

“Shut up,” Billy says, wrenching his hand away. “Sit still.”

Steve slumps back in his seat, rolling his eyes at the ceiling as if he’s saying, get a load of this guy. Billy ignores him. Tries to. The spoon of Steve’s pudding cup rolls between his lips. He slips it out and licks it clean, licks the handle, sticks it all the way into his cheek with a loud squelch.

Billy scribbles on his napkin. He draws porcupine quills for Steve’s ridiculous hair; big, flat gingerbread buttons to match Steve’s doe eyes. His stomach rumbles. They’d left Steve’s house together that morning, Steve wheedling Billy the whole way. C’mon, Billy, at least have a bit of bacon. He may as well have been asking Billy to stay. Asking him to let himself be coddled, spoiled, babied. Like Billy’s some empty-headed broad who needs to be reassured by that sort of thing. Come on, Billy, lemme make you breakfast, huh? Come on, Billy, sell your soul to me, be mine, all mine. What’s the worst that could happen?

Wouldn’t Steve like to know.

He does know, but only the carefully curated snippets that Billy feeds him. He knows that Neil counts his calories and weighs him twice a week. He doesn’t know that if Billy’s not up to par, Neil gives him a smack on the chops. One smack per pound gained. He doesn’t know that Neil’s all lean, mean muscle, with a thumping lefty. Billy’s thicker around the middle, stockier. Steve doesn’t know that Neil says Billy gets it from her. It’s never ‘your mother’, it’s always Her.

“Am I still allowed to read my comic?” says Steve.

“Do whatever the fuck you want,” Billy says, still scribbling. “I don’t give a shit.”

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Steve says, insolent, but low enough that Billy can pretend not to hear him.

Just for a second, he dares to look up. Steve’s distracted, pudding wobbling from the end of his spoon as he turns a page. He’s holding one of Billy’s comic books open, flattening the spine against the table with his palm. It’s one of those Chose Your Own Adventure rags, its pages bisected into maze-like algorithms of different scenarios that you trace with your finger. Steve loves them. Billy used to love them, too—when he was about twelve years old. He collected them and stored them in a wooden chest in his room, not just the ones where the reader gets to decide the outcome of the story but issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, MAD, Weird Tales Magazine. Turns out, Steve didn’t grow up with any comics; his parents only read National Geographic, and hold anything lesser in high contempt. When Billy gave Steve a whole binder’s worth of his old comics, he informed Steve it’s only because he felt sorry for him. That it’s pretty pathetic, Steve never having read The Amazing Spider-Man until he turned eighteen.

“My nose isn’t that big,” Steve says.

He leans all the way over, hand moving from his comic book to push Billy’s aside. His mouth contorts into a bemused frown as he takes in the picture Billy’s drawn on his napkin, the little stick figure Steve staring back up at him from behind a pair of smudged Ray Bans.

“Yes, it is,” Billy says. Patiently, like Steve has the cognitive capacity of a second grader.

Steve tugs the napkin out of his grip. “It’s huge!” he exclaims. “You literally drew a triangle for it. I look like a witch or something.”

Billy balances his pen on his upper lip and waggles his eyebrows. “You know what they say about guys with big noses.”

“They’ve got big dicks?”

The pen drops from Billy’s lip. He glares at Steve with mock reproach. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Harrington.”

Picking the pen back up, he draws a tiny speech bubble next to stick-figure Steve’s mouth: Hey, asshole! Stick-figure Steve is shaking his fist at some unknown aggressor. It’s how Steve looks when he’s mad enough to give Billy a smack on the chops of his own: eyebrows scrunched in a furious line, teeth bared, face blotchy. About as intimidating as an angry kitten.

“You like my nose,” Steve says softly.

His foot brushes against Billy’s under the table. Comfortable, warm. Billy wants to ignore the shiver that runs up his thighs, but it’s difficult. Less than four hours ago, Steve was kissing him there. Starting with Billy’s ankles, mouthing over the balls of his feet and his calves before moving gradually to his knees, then his thighs. He’d stopped maddeningly short of his groin, laughing when Billy had bucked his hips and called him a cocktease.

As if Steve knows what he’s thinking—as if Steve’s thinking of the same thing, of kissing Billy’s thighs, the two of them sprawled in a cozy tangle on Steve’s sheets—he draws his foot up, somehow worming the tip of his sneaker underneath Billy’s jeans. Billy imagines kicking him in the shin, just for the hell of it. Steve should know better. Especially when they’re in fucking public, in front of a hundred of their own classmates, for fuck’s sake.

“It’s weird,” he insists.

“That’s why you like it,” Steve says. He licks his spoon again, slower. The hair on Billy’s thighs is standing up, tingling as if charged by static electricity; he presses them together, almost groaning at the sensation of denim dragging against his skin. He’s vaguely aware that he’s watching Steve’s mouth avidly, his own mouth tasting arid, parched for something that can’t be quenched with water.

He wonders if Steve ever sees himself. If he ever looks in the mirror before leaving the house and asks his reflection, hey, is this even appropriate?

Because if Steve had any decency, any sense of shame, he would. And he’d also stop staring at Billy like that—eyes heavy at the corners, bottom lip jutting out around the edge of the spoon. When Billy had called him weird-looking, what he’d really meant was confusing. Steve’s nose is slender but somehow bold, angular; his cheekbones are high, and his mouth is pointy and pouty but also, not. It’s a man’s face but there’s a softness to it, too; a femininity that strikes Billy as not only personally offensive, but downright fucking nonsensical. He doesn’t understand how someone can be so oddly proportioned yet so in proportion at the same time.

Billy likes his life ordered. He likes things to fit neatly into their little boxes; it means he’s in control. It means that Maxine is scared shitless of him and his dad’s a bastard for all eternity and Susan’s Susan and Steve Harrington is off, not on. Inside this strict, organized reality of Billy’s creation, Steve’s foot certainly wouldn’t be touching his knee right now and he wouldn’t have brought him an extra pudding cup because Billy refused to eat the bacon and eggs Steve cooked for him that morning and Steve wouldn’t even prefer Billy to be a little heavier, he’d want Billy to be more responsible with his weight, have some respect for his body—

“You like my mouth, too,” Steve’s saying. “And my hair. My eyes, of course you like my eyes. Why else would you have gone to all this effort?” Crooking the spoon upwards, he reaches across and taps the stick-figure Steve with his pointer finger. “You like me, Billy.”

God, Billy’s created a fucking monster. 

“You’ve got pudding on your face,” he blurts out. 

The words aren’t Billy’s words. They don’t come out nasty—they’re not even remotely scathing. Things have shifted again, but Billy can’t tell if it’s in Steve’s favor or not. He has as much to lose as Billy does, after all. 

Steve smiles at him, gentle. He doesn’t swipe the stray pudding from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand; doesn’t stammer or withdraw or furrow his brow. It’s as if Billy’s shown his hand already, but that frustrates him, because he doesn’t know when. He can’t even tell if Steve’s bluffing, trying to back him into a corner he’s not aware of. Shit, Steve’s not bluffing. He can’t be. That wouldn’t be playing fair.

Steve lifts the comic book, placing it next to his ear. “It’s all yours, Hargrove,” he says.

He cups his chin with his hand, waiting. Billy’s stared at Steve’s hands for perhaps as much time as he’s stared at his face, trying to figure out how it’s all supposed to work. He suddenly wishes he could draw better, so he could get Steve’s hands on paper properly. Immortalize them, or whatever. 

He thinks he could teach himself to draw Steve’s hands. He knows them off by heart; knows their feel and their weight and their specific warmth, how they look around Billy’s neck. The marks they leave behind, deep, ingrained marks, like flowers pressed into the pages of a book. Billy can touch them and think, look: here Steve was, is. Here you can be loved, if you know what’s good for you.

For as long as Billy can remember, his father has called him a mistake. Said he’s mismatched, crooked, wrong like Her. Steve’s hands are crooked; so is his hair. But he makes Billy laugh, and, when Billy asks for it, he makes him cry. Tenderly. When he does that, Billy doesn’t feel so wrong; he feels stripped naked, made anew. That, by holding him and kissing him and smiling at him like he is now, Steve’s drawing all the bad blood out. Hands wringing him clean.

Steve shakes the spoon at him, his mouth and eyes shining with strange, cryptic light. They’re mismatched, Steve’s eyes. One has slightly more hazel in it than the other. Billy’s chest is heavy and warm, as if Steve’s placed his foot over his ribs instead of his leg. They’re mismatched, him and Steve. Whatever the fuck they have, on or off, is scrapped together haphazardly from different pieces of their lives, like an old quilt sewn from other old quilts, scratchy and smelly and a little ugly, but snug nonetheless. Good shelter for storms and shadows. 

Billy leans forwards, closing in on that secret space between Steve’s mouth and his ear. All around them rises a rabble of voices like vapor from the forest floor, kids laughing and catcalling to one another across the cafeteria. Steve holds the comic book upright, shielding both their faces. When Billy kisses him, he tastes the sweetness on Steve’s lip from where his pudding spoon missed his mouth, but it was never about that. When Billy said, You’re kind of weird-looking what he really, really meant was, I like you, a lot, and when he kisses Steve now what he means is, All mine.

[sydchan]

Syd’s Games of 2018

Since I did a little better at playing games this year, I thought I'd make a list of all the games I beat and rank them by how much I liked them.  Every one of these games I beat with my sister, since it was a bad year for me completing games on my own.

11. Tokyo Xanadu (PS4)

The worst game I played this year, mainly due to how much it dragged.  My sister and I played this game from April to October with various breaks in between, because it was just that much of a chore to get through.  There's nothing technically awful about the game (and the fighting itself was sort of fun), it just didn't have anything special about it to add that extra zest.  Honestly, I did enjoy parts and wouldn’t say I disliked it, it just dragged too much, thus the ranking. 

10. Yomawari (PS4)

A cute enough horror game, it just lacked substance.  I'm all for atmosphere and drawing your own conclusions about the horrors you see, but I'd like a little more explanation for what I'm experiencing than what this game provided.

9. OxenFree (PS4)

I got this game and Yomawari as a gift from a friend, and of the two, I felt this was the better game.  I didn't care for the explanation of what the supernatural stuff was at the end, to the point it lowered my opinion of the game, but at least it explained what was going on.  The characters and the way dialogue choices were handled were interesting, it just felt like it needed more at the end.  Objectively, this game should be about three spots higher on this list, since it is a solid game. I just don't care for indie games in general as they always feel lacking in content to me.  Short with too much left to imagination, a combination I don't care for (which likely sounds hypocritical, given my love for horror games).

8. Siren: Blood Curse (PS3)

I can't say just how badly my opinion of this game was impacted by the fact I not only adored the original Siren, but also played this game immediately after beating the original.  Regardless, this game is Siren without its heart and soul.  Not only is this game a terrible remake, it’s just not that good in general.  It's certainly easier than the original, but that’s its only pro.  I can't even say the better graphics are an improvement since between the darkness and the grain filter (the screenshot above is a lie, it’s much grainier than that while you’re playing), it's difficult to see in most stages.  The plot changes are for the worse, but the intolerable change for me was the characters.  I have a pretty high tolerance for poorly written characters, but almost the entire cast in this game is annoying as hell. 

Seigo was the only decent character while everyone else ranged from tolerable (Howard and Miyako) to please die so I don’t have to play as you anymore (Sam, Melissa, and Bella).  In fact, this game gets the special honor of being the first game where I honestly wanted the child character I was suppose to protect to die brutally so I didn’t have to deal with her anymore. Also, you can’t take the same major, impactful scenes from the original and just randomly give them to this new, much worse cast and expect me to feel anything.  It just drove home how much worse the plot and characters were.  I’m honestly baffled by how this game managed to mess up from the original as badly as it did.  The only reason this game beat the above was because it was much shorter than Xanadu and I truly don’t care for indie games.

7. Lunar Silver Star Story: Complete (PS1)

The first story based game we ever beat with our friend, Jeremiah, chosen on his recommendation.  It's about what you'd expect, an older RPG with a generic plot, but it was still charming enough to be a pleasant experience.  You can tell whoever “translated” the script took a lot of liberties, so while your mileage may vary on that, it did make the dialogue more amusing as a result.  It's mainly lower on the list due to clearly being a product of its time.

6. White Day (PS4)

This game gets a higher rating than it deserves due to being the amusing horror game we ended up playing with multiple friend groups.  By its own merits, it a mediocre (maybe average if I’m feeling generous) horror game. It gets points for attempting to mix in dating sim elements, but the ghost stories were all over the place and often had nothing to do with anything in the game itself.  While it has some good parts, It felt like the creators had too many ideas and decided to throw them all together, regardless of how little sense it would make.  I still had a lot of fun playing it though, so I can’t fault it too much for it’s nonsensical writing.  It's a “fun” horror game with scenes that are sometimes quirky and others that are terrifying (these’s a certain joy in tricking your friends into hiding in the last bathroom stall and then watching their reactions to what happens next).  

5. Outlast 1, Whistleblower, 2 (PS4)

Considering we bought the PS4 version that had all three games on it, I’m considering this one game (we played them back-to-back and I would have ranked the games next to each other regardless).   Whistleblower was definitely the best of the three, while I liked the other two about equally  The first was more coherent and had the better ending, but I appreciated how the second had more expanded characters.  Plus the more shocking content did get to me.  Honestly, if it wasn’t for how abrupt the ending was in 2, this would have beaten the next entry.

4. Persona (PSP)

We started this game in 2017, but since we beat it at the beginning of 2018, it still counts.  I was pleasantly surprised by how good this game ended up being.  The characters are charming, the plot is intriguing, and the battle system was better than I thought it would be (originally I was worried about every party member being able to change personas, but it worked out much better than expected).  A very solid RPG, even given when it was created. 

3: Resident Evil 7 (PS4)

This game had a much stronger start than an ending, but the start was strong enough to still place this game solidly at #3.  It's not often you get an intro where your protag gets their hand chopped off but it’s not actually a game over.  The scene in the garage stuck with me for a long time as well.  I actually appreciated the fact it tied back with the other Resident Evil games, since what's the point of using the name of a franchise if a game isn’t actually a part of it.  

2. Detroit: Become Human (PS4)

While this game certainly had its��plot holes and narrative issues, I adored this game while playing it.  Like almost everyone, Connor’s portions of the game were by far my favorite, while Kara’s and Markus’ were more average.  But considering how tense and convinced I was constantly fucking up my choices and going to get everyone killed, I managed to somehow keep all three protags alive in the end (everyone else died in Kara’s route, but still, 2 out of 3 good endings for a blind first run isn’t bad).  I definitely recommend giving this game a shot, since not only is it gorgeous, but it is one of the few games I've played where I felt my choices made a big difference.  It was close between this game and the next for my fav game this year, but the next game just slightly pulled ahead (my bias for horror games is too strong).

1. Siren (PS2)

I was surprised by how much I ended up enjoying this game, but this ended up being my top game of 2018 and definitely one of my top games of all time.  It certainly has its flaws (mainly that it’s frustratingly difficult at times without a walkthrough. A couple of those mission objective requirements I truly don’t believe most people could figure out on their own) but the story and characters stole my heart.  An underrated gem of a horror game, and while it has the same issue every Japanese horror game has of leaving too much up to interpretation, it at least revealed enough for me to figure out what was happening behind the scenes.  The way the story isn't told in order is really interesting as well. And while this had the potential to be confusing, the link navigator was very helpful in keeping track of events.   

Siren also goes a lot further than other games of its time period do.  When it comes to plot, characters, and overall horror, it's a lot better than Silent Hill and Resident Evil, the only thing that holds me back from wholeheartedly recommending this game to everyone is just how hard it is.  It's also a fairly long survival horror game, since even using a walkthrough, it took us somewhere between 20-30 hours to beat (our playtime said 13 hours, but it counts funny and doesn't include all the time you spend dying before giving up). If you’re a fan of survival horror games, I highly recommend giving this game a shot (just remember, there’s no shame in using a walkthrough). 

[aj-the-psycho]

The Hour: A Sanders Sides Story - Chapter 6

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: HE’S NOT HAPPY

TW: None

Summary: Roman finally had his hour.

AO3 Link

Roman was excited. Ever since that announcement about the original theater production, Roman couldn’t help but think about it all the time. He got distracted a lot, thinking about the plot lines of his first original play. The professor never said it should be a musical, but obviously he’s making it a musical, because who could live without ever hearing his wonderful singing voice?

It was almost midnight and Roman was still hunched on his desk, writing ideas and creating scenes. He had always liked writing romantic or heroic tropes, be it poems or stories. Princes and knights saving damsels, fighting evil and dying an honorable death. Or perhaps, little scenes with romantic gestures where the hero would woo the girl and they would fall madly in love with each other. What people don’t expect though, is that Roman loves stories where the villain turns good and be the hero. He thought the most noble deed anyone could do is to own up to their mistakes and change themselves for the better.

Roman had been at his desk for six hours. His shoulders felt like it was made out of concrete; heavy and stiff. His fingers were jellies; weakly holding a pen and dancing across the paper in an erratic pattern. His eyes sting from the bright white light of his desk lamp. Roman ignored his discomfort and continued his writing, imagination still running wild.

‘I should maybe start writing at least one scene. What good are ideas if I don’t use it? Which one though?’ Roman paused for a moment. ‘Oh, that part at the near-ending is a good one.

‘How should that scene start? Oh, I know…

~~~

“You took a bullet for me.” the villain stared at her as she gasped for a breath that didn’t quite reach her lungs. “That was a stupid move.”

She wished she had something to say. An excuse. She wished she had had a plan, but he had done it out of instinct.

She wished she had something to say. A witty comment. Something smart. But every word she wanted to say died on her lips. Everything hurts.

The villain stepped closer, looming over her. For a second, everything was silent. Nothing moves, the wind holds its breath, the birds didn’t sing their happy songs. The villain scooped her up and leaned him over the large tree behind them.

“Why did you have to be so stupid?” the villain said, desperation dripping from the words. “Stay with me. Don’t you dare leave me. Please. If you stay, I promise-I promise I will tell you everything. I promise I’ll be better. Just… please don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” she said. Her breaths were getting shorter…’

~~~

‘I think that’s good for now.’ Roman thought, satisfied with what he had worked on for now.

Roman would never admit it, but he would often imagine himself being the hero who people adore. Well, one person would be enough for him. Roman have always wanted someone who he can protect and shower with gifts and kisses. Someone who doesn’t demand anything from him. Someone who he can love.

Suddenly, Roman felt a dull pain at the back of his head, like someone had punched him at the back of the head. He ignored it in favor of writing more ideas. He felt another pain, more intense this time. Roman threw his pen on his desk in frustration. Why can’t he just work in peace?! He held his head in his hands, closing his eyes, waiting for the pain to go away. After the pain had receded, he opened his eyes and was greeted by an unusual sight.

“¡Qué mierda! Where am I?!" Roman exclaimed in his surprise upon finding that he was no longer in his bedroom. He found himself seated on a bed with extremely soft sheets and heavy blanket. Roman didn’t do anything for a little while, just looking around without thinking.

He stayed on the bed for about ten minutes before he started processing his situation. ‘Am I dreaming?’ He looked around him again, now choosing to internalize his thoughts. ‘I don’t think I like this dream. I want to go back. How do I go back?’ Roman looked around some more without leaving the bed. The first thing he noticed was that everything was dark. By that meaning whoever decided to decorate this place has a dark aesthetic. That’s not the right word, but Roman didn’t care.

‘Wow… even the pillow smells edgy.’ Roman stood from his perch on the bed. He walked over to the bookshelf to the left of the bed, taking a closer look at the book collection. They were mostly poetry books, dated and modern. There are some other things too, three or four books about linguistics and two other books about space. ‘An emo nerd. That’s a weird combination.’

Roman dropped one of the books he was holding, so he bent down to pick it up. He almost instantly felt that something was off. He couldn’t place it. Something was off and he didn’t know what. ‘Wait…’ Of course. Usually, when he bend down to pick something up, the distance from his head to the floor was longer. ‘Am I shorter? I’m shorter.’ Roman told himself after reaching the conclusion then immediately back-paddled “¡Qué mierda! I’m shorter! How in las tierra is that even possible?!”

Roman paced back and forth in the small, dark bedroom, thinking about how he had gotten himself into this nonsense situation. He wished his nerdy friend was here to help him think. Logan would have known what is happening. ‘Think. How can this happen? What did I do? What did I do to the universe that it does this to me. Oh… the universe—oh… oh no. No, no, nononono! This is not happening!’

Of course it’s the hour. Of course the universe loves to mock him. Of course the universe would know the one thing he hated most. And of course the universe decided to give him that one thing that he hated most; a soulmate.

‘What time is it now?’ He took the phone at the bedside table to look at the time. When he saw the lock screen picture he froze. ‘Uuuuumm…’ he furrowed his brows and pursed his lips, thinking hard while staring at the picture. ‘That’s—that’s Remy. The Russian dude in my class?’ The picture was of Remy and another guy—who Roman thinks is super cute and immediately shoves the thought away—standing back-to-back looking straight at the camera, both having a neutral expression.

Roman would agree if someone said Remy was an attractive guy. Perfectly mussed auburn hair framing an oval face with ungodly jawline, sunglasses covering half his face which gives a mysterious vibe—until he talks, that is—and the classic ‘t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans’ combo that he usually goes for. Yes. Remy is positively hot. However, Roman was unsure about having him as a soulmate though. He looked down at himself—technically it’s his soulmate—and back at the picture.

Roman looked at the time once again. ‘I still have thirty minutes. Why can’t this just end right now?’ He walked out of the bedroom to find the bathroom. He marched in and faced the mirror. ‘Oh, I knew it was impossible for Remy guy to be my soulmate.’ was Roman’s first thought upon seeing the reflection in the mirror. His second thought was��� well, it took time for him to form another thought. A pretty long time.

Roman could see the resemblance between his soulmate and Remy. They are undoubtedly related. Pale complexion making the skin look smooth and milky, striking steel grey eyes that pops against the soft-purple dyed hair, chocolate brown hair peeking at the roots. Noticeable cheekbones and killer jawline, subtle muscles framing the thin body perfectly. Roman dared to lift the loose black t-shirt to peek, revealing the same pale, milky skin. He stared at the mirror once again and noticed the dark under-eye bags.

Roman couldn’t help but think that this person was enchantingly beautiful. He immediately shook his head, as if by doing that he could banish the thought out of his head. No! This can’t happen, it’s not possible. Roman hates soulmates and nothing will change that. He doesn’t need a soulmate, because soulmates are not true love. He is not going to fall into that trap. He furrowed his brows while still staring at the mirror and leaving the bathroom with a sour mood.

‘Everything sucks.’ Roman stomps back into the bedroom. He didn’t know what to do. He never wanted this. He still didn’t want this. So, he decided to write a note.

Roman walked the short distance from the door to the desk at the corner of the room and angrily wrote a note.

~~~

Roman Cascales.

I never wanted this, still don’t want this. Don’t look for me.

If you ever see me, walk the other way.

~~~

He left the note, written on a post it, on the desk and sat on the bed again. He scrunched his face in annoyance. Why did the universe, or whatever being or force that created the universe decided that it was a good idea for soulmates to be a thing? Everything is a lie. Many people are trapped in loveless relationships just because they’re soulmate. Other people take advantage of their soulmate status to manipulate their match for their gain. Roman wanted to give a long lecture to whoever make soulmates an actual concept and maybe give them some murder charges for those whose life was taken because of that concept—literally and figuratively. Many people have had their lives ruined because of soulmates.

Roman looked at the phone once again to look at the time. He realized that the other boy in the picture was his soulmate. The realization made him want to punch something and just burst with red hot anger. ‘Ten more minutes. Just ten more minutes, hold on Roman.’ Roman tried to cool himself down.

When he felt a familiar pain at the back of his head, he embraced it. He wanted this to end right now.

Roman launched himself to the bed. His chest rising up and down quickly. He screamed into his pillow to muffle the sound and clutching the material of his thick blanket tightly in contained anger. His excitement from an hour ago was forgotten.

In the morning, before he left the apartment, he found a note on his desk.

~~~

Virgil Dudnickov (19)

Not much to say about me.

~~~

With the additional of email address and phone number, there was nothing else written.

After reading the note, Roman left his apartment in a foul mood.

**********

Roman's vocab (please tell me if I made any mistakes with these):

¡Qué mierda! [What the fuck!]

Las tierra [The world; the Earth]

[headlesssamurai]

review blade runner 2049 please

[Yo. @godzillaapproved asked me about this too, as did, like twenty other anons at this point, I meant to post this publicly but accidentally replied privately to the epic city-stomper. Here’s what I wrote.]

Yo, my apologies for taking a dog’s age to properly reply to this one. Between working a new job and teaching kids D&D, my schedule… actually hasn’t been that full at all, in fact being busy has got nothing at all to do with what took me so long. I’m just a lazy bastard, I reckon.

Nah, I’m playing. It’s just this write-up’s a tough one. In trying to properly discuss a movie like this, the worst obstacle I’m faced with is offering worthwhile thoughts which can rise above the more quotidian comparisons of old and new, and avoids falling to the level of all those acerbic neanderthals shouting at each other about reboots and franchise fatigue. Regardless of your opinion on it as a motion picture, Blade Runner 2049 is a film worthy of attentive consideration, approving or disapproving.

So, yeh, like, half the time I tried to write it up my thoughts veered wildly off into existentially perverse nonsense most people couldn’t follow if they were jacked up on a cocktail of Ritalin and whatever drug Bradley Cooper was addicted to in that one movie they later made into a shitty TV show. The other half of the time my critical analysis, though coherent, stretched to thirty-six pages (no exaggeration).

I was able to hack apart the latter version with a hatchet, and a few slivers of it have been included in this write-up, along with some fresh thoughts on the movie after giving it another once-over on my home theater system. Hopefully the thoughts shorn off my now axed 2049 manifesto help create a rational measure of insight to share on the artistry and agency of this contemplative film. And here I am wasting your fucking time, explaining how I wrote this thing up instead of just finishing the motherfucker.

I’ll just preface this by saying it’s impossible to discuss 2049 without at least mentioning the first Blade Runner and voicing a few of my thoughts on that film, considering how much it’s meant to me over the years. Also, so there’s no confusion I’ll usually be referring to this new film as 2049 and the earlier Ridley Scott movie as Blade Runner.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner was very loosely based upon Philip K. Dick’s short novella Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, retaining few elements of Dick’s story besides some character names and the general setting of the world. The setting involves a highly advanced technological future, said to be 2019 in the original film, in which genetically indistinguishable androids (the latest model of which is called a Nexus-6), known as replicants, have been created as slave labor, and mostly used for the perilously dangerous industry of colonizing other worlds. It’s not clear how many worlds have been colonized, nor if these worlds are part of Sol’s orbit, or inhabit other star systems, but Earth appears to be a mere footnote by the era of the film. It is heavily implied that Earth is highly polluted, has undergone yet survived various environmental events which have permanently altered the weather and atmosphere, including nuclear war and extinction of many different species, and is now considered a very undesirable place to live.

The original film follows the intertwining story of Rick Deckard, a type of bounty hunter known as a “blade runner” who specializes in tracking down and eliminating rogue androids, and Roy Batty, a dying combat android who Deckard has come out of retirement to hunt. Ridely Scott’s film uses this general backdrop as a mechanism for an aesthetically light narrative of show-don’t-tell, including much visual intrigue and little direct exposition. Though often viewed as a scattershot of stylistic flair with shallow depths to its storytelling, this original film has been praised for years as evolutionary cinema, and has often been interpreted to explore the nature of humanity, consciousness, mortality, and the human capacity for both violence and compassion.

Personally, I tend to shy away from the more relativistic viewpoint in terms of filmmaking, and other forms of cumulative artistic expression and storytelling mediums. I think people who say “Anything can be art” and “Quality is just an opinion” are just people who don’t really know much about art, and haven’t seen enough quality films to be able to distinguish them from those which happen to be steaming crocks of shit stew, never mind the fact that such individuals are likely too dense to grasp what makes quality storytelling worthwhile to begin with. Ipso facto, if you’ve watched enough movies and actually care about movies, and you possess an attention span somewhere north of a toddler on morphine, you probably know what I’m talking about. I want to say this without the sort of high-nosed hauteur normally associated with such statements, but as a talented dude once put it “If it is art, it is not for everyone. If it is for everyone, it is not art.” I’m thankful to say 2049 inhabits a place in cinema well within the span of that distinction and, if box office numbers are any indication, makes no apology for it.

Because Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner has been released in various cuts, some better received than others, there exists a great deal of division over what his film was trying to say, as well as a massive amount of speculation on whether or not Deckard himself actually happened to be an android without knowing it. This level of ambiguity surrounding the original film has become a major part of why its fans adore it so much as praiseworthy cinema. It’s for this, and many other reasons, that Blade Runner remains my favorite movie of all time. Not saying it’s the best movie ever made, I’m just saying it’s my favorite, rivaled only by The Empire Strikes Back.

I was pretty damn rattled when first hearing that somebody in the wretched hive of Hollywood decided it would be a good idea to make a sequel to my favorite movie of all time. Or maybe, as some at the time speculated, it would be a reboot. I couldn’t quite decide which thought was more fuckening. Considering some of the reboots we’ve had, I imagined nothing but a hollow, CGI lightshow of forgettable one-dimensional characters running about a cliché world only vaguely reminiscent of the trend-setting urban dystopia from Ridley Scott’s cultish masterpiece.

That said, clearly Denis Villeneuve isn’t here to fuck around. He’s an established director with a modest, respectably memorable body of work. Even bitterly immersed my previously mentioned revulsion at the thought of a Blade Runner sequel, I recall thinking that if any bastard in the film industry could actually pull it off, it’s probably him. As I previously stated on this very blog, my respect for Villeneuve was deeply conflicted with my closely held conviction that the first Blade Runner is laudable precisely because of the things it doesn’t tell the audience, doesn’t explain, and leaves ambiguous and open to interpretation. Its depth lies in its mystery and somewhat abstract approach to an otherwise simplistic narrative. It’s no surprise this approach wasn’t popular at the time, and continues to be debated among film critics to this day.

I was terribly afraid, despite Villeneuve’s dextrous hand at the helm, there would be a massive exposition dump somewhere in Blade Runner 2049, explaining away gargantuan volumes of plot devices and character motivations from the original movie, effectively destroying everything that made it great. I vehemently avoided any promotional material after the initial teaser trailer, because I wanted to go into the new film cold, no idea of what exactly to expect.

Imagine my surprise upon first viewing the 2049, realizing the abstract concepts from the first movie have mostly been abandoned in favor of a far more straightforward and less nebulous storytelling method, and from the patient start to the unusually optimistic end, the notional mysteries from Ridley Scott’s original film are rarely referenced and safely allowed to remain unexplained. There’s even a scene in which one character proposes an idea to another which could serve as an expository mechanism for something from the first film, yet this is left hanging for a moment before being brushed aside with the feeling that these ideas, this very discussion is irrelevant to the story at hand.

Out of the gate, I appreciated 2049’s ownership of its story, confidence in its approach to that story, and general lack of what I’d describe as cynical filmmaking tropes. Again, like Schönberg said, true art isn’t meant for everyone and by that token 2049 flat out assumes you’re into the sort of vice it’s slinging, and doesn’t even try to placate a wider audience. I loved this about the movie. I haven’t the slightest clue how Villeneuve got a studio to sign off on this approach without adding a plucky side-kick, laugh-a-minute slapstick, or overblown fantastical action sequences, but somehow the bastard grabbed that gem. It’s a movie that’s just trying to be what it is, it doesn’t give a fuck about your politics, your fandoms, your capacity to be offended, and it doesn’t much give a damn about you if romantic comedies are more your speed. From start to finish, this movie comfortably inhabits its own skin without any pandering whatsoever. Even fans of the original film aren’t really catered in any particular way. It’s goddamn amazing to see that sort of integrity in a modern, high budget movie.

Blade Runner 2049 continues the tale of its progenitor, set exactly thirty years afterward. The world is said to have suffered an event called the Blackout, in which most electronic technology was damaged beyond repair, causing digitally stored data to be lost, and some technological regression has occurred as a result. Nexus-6 androids are said to have been scrapped after various malfunctions and uprisings, possibly themselves being the cause of the Blackout, and a corporation run by mega-mogul Niander Wallace later created a new model of androids who apparently have no capacity for free will. Many older models have gone into hiding or on the run however, and thus special squads of bounty hunters still called blade runners are tasked with finding and “retiring” them. The movie follows an android blade runner created to hunt his own kind, Officer KD6-3.7, as he stumbles upon a mysterious clue which could have dangerous repercussions.

While its approach to storytelling differs significantly from its predecessor, 2049 remains a retread of certain material from the previous movie, for instance it’s still set in the dystopian futuristic world of that film, and the story also involves a fair bit of existential quandary, ruminations on human nature, and moral imperatives. It’s a reboot through and through, which builds a sense of atmosphere just as effectively as the original film, but also exists as a reputably well-made film in its own right. Blade Runner, the original, remains my favorite film of all time, so please appreciate the gravity of my admission when I confidently say that 2049 is a better movie.

It’s better because it is far less ambiguous, functions more fluently as a cinematic story, and features thematic elements which effectively translate throughout the plot without turning into fluffy schmaltz, yet still offers contemplative commentary on the human condition, potentially leading its audience to speculate for years on end. While the meditative facet remains strong, we syllogistically have far more coherent story here than the first movie. Odd that ambiguity is what makes the original Blade Runner great for me, yet the lack of it is what makes this new movie equally triumphant. Either way 2049 manages to be its own, different experience while also remaining familiar.

As Officer K follows the trail of evidence, we’re given glimpses of the world around him, once again getting small suggestions that no one wants to live on Earth anymore and that life in “the colonies” is preferable to the polluted, over-populated streets of this overused world. At the same time, it’s cool to see the film sticking to its guns as a follow-up to Blade Runner; Pan-Am still exists in this futuristic dystopia, Atari apparently remains a major manufacturer of electronics, wireless communications seem to be relatively scarce. The world has also progressed somewhat, even since the Blackout, holograms and A.I. are now more common, security and intelligence services now enjoy the convenience of surveillance drones, some cars can still fly but look slick compared to the older models. The level of detail and nuance paid to the production design is breathtaking in maintaining the flavor of the film’s world.

Of course this is aided incredibly by the fact that 2049 is fucking beautiful. CGI and inventive set designs blend wonderfully with practical effects, creating a wonderful sense of immersion. A romantic scene particularly has one of the most memorable effects shots I’ve ever seen. Dirty, polluted, over-populated cities have never looked this spectacular, expansive grub farms and endless fields of solar arrays are somehow hypnotic. Roger Deakins has several decades of cinematography under his belt, so it’s no surprise he’s earned every goddamn ounce of that Academy Award. Aesthetically, you’ll have a tough time finding a more seamless film out there.

There’s some terrific casting as well, with Canadian heartthrob Ryan Gosling in the lead role which, despite some hilarious gags to the contrary out there on the mimetic internets, does in fact require a great deal of subtlety and skill from him as a performer, and he handles the material marvelously. Ana De Armas also stars in the unusual role of K’s holographic girlfriend Joi, a concept which I found slightly uncomfortable at first, but some awesome writing on the part of this character and the way her presence affects K’s arc unexpectedly makes her massively relevant compared to romantic female characters in most movies. Jared Leto flashes his beautiful smug face at us, ironically as egomaniacal industrialist Niander Wallace, neither Lennie James nor Dave Bautista hang around quite long enough to suit me in their cameos but their presence is soothing regardless, Halt And Catch Fire fans will appreciate Mackenzie Davis’ mere existence, and the always elegant Robin Wright appears as K’s superior officer. For good measure, we get short glimpses of veterans Harrison Ford, Edward James Olmos, and Sean Young. Undercelebrated up-and-comer Carla Juri also stars as a kindhearted memory crafter, who helps create artificial histories for replicants.

If we’re talking badass casting though, hands down, Dutch actress Sylvia Hoeks positively dominates as Niander Wallace’s left-hand replicant acolyte Luv. This woman steals the fucking show for me, and I could not imagine how uncultured a motherfucker I must’ve been to have never seen any of her films before this. I’m not quite sure what it is, but she seems to hit that stride of violent femininity almost perfectly without even coming near cliché territory. Luv is my favorite and, I would argue, the most interesting character in the film. In addition to adding some much needed sense of menace to the plot momentum, Luv is written somewhat unconventionally despite being a strong woman, avoiding that flash-and-thunder spectacle most screenwriters just can’t resist, she displays a range of behavior as the movie progresses, some times conflicting, yet relentlessly driven in her purpose. Where K, in many respects, is simply doing his job, Luv seems to truly, unquestionably believe in what she is doing. I also found it interesting that Joi is named after an emotion with almost no negative connotations, meaning pure elation. Whereas Luv’s name is synonymous with a passionate, wild, chaotic mix of difficult to control complexes of emotion, sensations, and compulsions.

Luv’s name and personality reminded me of a line from Catullus;“I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you ask. I do not know, but I feel it happening and I am tortured.”

I think primarily, the most poignant thing I can tell you about this movie is you might not enjoy it as much as me. It’s very similar to the original film in that manner. It’s science fiction to the core, not swinging too far in either direction, science or fiction respectively, sitting comfortably in that niche and playing to people who are also comfortable right there. In an effort to avoid any direct spoilers, I’ll try to leave my general assessment at that, depending on who you are, you’ve as much a chance to be bored as be mystified and intrigued by this movie. I fucking love this movie, but I’m also not some heckling hipster who wants mainstream audiences to get fucked so I can regress myself back to Shakespearean times where I can head to the local theatre house, buy a tankard of ale and quartroun loaf of oat bread, and watch the players act out the most recently published archaic comedy. I feel just as strongly about this as I do the first Blade Runner, if you don’t enjoy 2049, well I actually could totally see why. It isn’t made for everyone. It’s not quite trying to entertain, or dazzle, or impress, merely trying to tell its own story in the best conceivable way.

Blade Runner 2049 it seems, in the most apropos way, is the rarest sort of movie possible; a film with a wonderful array of talent behind it, an enormous budget to back this up, and a wide net of distribution, but almost no conceit to reach anyone but its target audience. A wondrous, beautiful example of cinematic artistry potentially sold with knowledge that their return on investment would not be entirely achieved, a story both tragic and inspiring. Again, I’ve absolutely no idea how Denis Villenueve managed to get the producers to back this uncompromising approach to such a well-funded movie, but I’m very glad he did.

2049 spins its narrative with a minimum amount of overt exposition, air-tight production design, conceptually interesting visuals, and a great cast of performers, which all gels to offer one of the most memorable, thoughtful cinema-going experiences I’ve enjoyed in the past ten years. There’s a darkness and restlessness to this advanced world, both breathtaking and disturbing, as much grit and garbage as there is streamlined technology and triumphant wonder. Much of this aesthetic filters beautifully into the story Villenueve is trying to tell us. The visuals seem as finely tuned as the editing itself, weaving itself cumulatively into the associative memory of the audience, seeming to hit beats more common of an atmospheric horror movie than a futuristic sci-fi film. Perhaps that’s why I’ve found it so haunting.

My apologies if all of this is a little too generalized for your liking, I could understand if so. As with many worthwhile forms of entertainment, I recommend seeing it and deciding for yourself. I mean, I’m just some asshole on the internet whose noodles are getting cold. Some times I wonder what the hell I’m even talking about, myself. So have a kick-ass day, dudes, and carpe noctem.

               侍   headless                         

[retphienix]

I’ve been in a weird place these past few days, something I struggle to explain succinctly (as this posts constant rewrites have revealed to myself).

I’d readmore this but. I’ll leave it out.

Long story short, depression and anxiety. That’s sufficient enough. When I fall deep into the mess I often do something that truly hurts my soul when I realize it’s happening- Games are my passion. Exploring them is a pure joy to me. And whenever I fall truly low I sometimes find myself shaking out of a haze and realizing I’ve been dedicating a ton of time to a game that I was enjoying- but now it’s nothing but joyless and empty and yet I continue to dedicate more time to it.

Basically I’ll get in a loop of turning on the same game each day and just “doing” it. Not playing, not enjoying, not exploring my passion or indulging my passion. Just. Doing. As if it were work, but without any payout or content being created. Just tossing time into a hole with what must be a frown on my face, and stepping back and seeing that disgusts me.

Not a fan of that; Definitely need to take steps to better care for my mental and  emotional well-being among other things.

In the mean time these past few days have been a more aggressive ‘fight emptiness with passion’ kind of thing.

My worst moments were found staring dead eyed into a game that I could be enjoying in another light, but not like that. So these few days have been spent turning that on its head. Exploring some new games, revisiting some old favorites- just spending whatever time I dedicate to games- actually indulging my passion for games instead of turning off my brain for such a dead feeling.

Such an off brand post, if I might say so, but hey, it’s my blog, sharing a terrifying moment I had that’s changed how I’ve handled the last few days is what I’ve decided to do, I suppose.

This is why I played through Wario Land: Shake it- because it’s a game I saw joy in and playing it just about any way would be me indulging my passion for games instead of what staring at the screen feeling crappy was.

And you know what? It kinda worked.

I spent too long playing the same game regardless of if I wanted to or not- it’s a game I like, but just playing it because I felt obligated to spend my time or because I felt like there was nothing else was killing me inside- it was painting my passion with such a disgusting tone that it felt like it was a distorted mess of what I usually love.

Playing that Wario title turned that around. Made me feel like myself- made me feel like my passion had legs again- reminded me that there’s still SO SO SO SO soooo much left to play and explore and talk about. It breathed some new life into me and I’m feeling quite a touch better than whatever hole I was digging into had me feeling.

So taking a break from being overly open on my game blog of all locations- today I tried to think of what could be next, and since my Wii U was hooked up (it being what I played the last title on) I noticed a few of my installed games I often forget I have easy access to.

Super Metroid- which I’ve still yet to beat.

Earthbound- which I played through for the blog if I recall correctly, quite a blast that was.

Golden Sun- Another I’ve yet to even PLAY.

And Windwaker HD.

I’ve started this game up a few times now. Pretty sure I got moderately deep into the Gamecube version a few years ago (5 maybe?) and then I picked this up and got decently into it yet again- but both times I simply stopped.

This particular post isn’t much at all, as a matter of fact everything up there- erase it from your mind. This was simply me reloading my old save from 2015 and looking around. I had a ton of items, some hearts, and was picking up shards apparently. But as I explored I realized that my memory of what had happened is all but gone and some of the things I thought I’d done on this version (like getting the pictobox) I had not.

So I’m restarting. Full stop. And I think I’ll do a greedy little thing against myself by using this blog as a reason to keep going and beating this for once.

What good is creating content (as this blog is as I ramble on about game design and mechanics and how they affect gameplay because I adore the bigger picture’s impact on the game itself and face it- it’s a form of content even if I can’t make any money off this nonsense) if I can’t use it as a motivator of some kind.

So here’s me saying good bye to my old save, and I suppose seeing the length of this post, good bye to some negativity I allowed to brew on the rim of something I enjoy so deeply. Here’s to some better gaming going forward. And while I’m at it, here’s to some brighter days for you and I both. I’d say it’s well deserved all around, and seeing the bright skies in WW while listening to those tunes- it makes you feel quite a bit better in the moment. Optimistic even- which is a good feeling coming off a bad few days.

[margarittet]

Misha and Destiel 2018 AD - it’s not for pervs anymore

Let me tell you, when I woke up today and got a message from @tinkdw with the seacon video where Misha was talking about Destiel, I wasn’t sure I woke up properly. This was one of the surreal moments I often get in this fandom, where fiction and fandom and reality interract, and my brain not always can wrap itself around it.

First, here are some posts that sum up most of my feelings on the case.

HERE ( @bluestar86​ )

HERE (from @thedogsled and @magnificent-winged-beast )

HERE ( from @impostoradult )

Now I woke up, and I would also like to rant a bit. This is not against Misha, mind you. NOT AT ALL. It is more against the general condescending way in which people consider fandom, and fandom creations, and how people BTS seem not to understand Destiel in the same way we do.

VIDEO

GIFSET

During the panel, Misha treats Destiel as some kind of a dirty secret, a guilty pleasure that the fandom hides under their beds, something that their parents, partners, spouses don’t know about, and the reason why everyone was banned from discussing it during cons is the same reason why you don’t bring up your kinks during a Sunday dinner at your grandma’s house - it’s just uncomfortable for everyone involved (even though everyone around knows you enjoy a good old bedsharing fanfic now and then, WE JUST DON’T TALK ABOUT IT).

I have two problems with this assumption.

source

1. Fan fiction is not for perverts.

So, I come from a country that has a big problem with erotic writing. My country is a conservative one, and because of this my language only contains words for sexual acts that are either vulgar, medical, or childish. Some more kinky acts only have English names, with Polish endings added, and sex in general is not talked about even among female friends (I assume guys talk about it among themselves, and I sometimes talk about sex with my guy friends, but they are usually much more embarrased than I am, so I don’t know what to tell you).

To me, discovering fan fiction was like finding this special place where I can actually LEARN how one can talk about sex in a not-gross kind of way, and without feeling really, really awkward. It is not pornographic in a way I was used to. I was shocked to discover sex can be straightforward, clear, funny, exciting, and nothing to be ashamed of; that people have SO MANY things that turn them on; that there are so many different sexual orientations (thank you Tumblr); and that there are so many things I didn’t know about a a human body and sexual acts (and I am in no way a prude!). That stories full of sex can be actually interesting and fun to read, that talking about consent, condoms, safe sex, personal preference can be sexy as fuck, that communication during the act also makes a good story, that talking not only to your partner, but also to other people about sexuality and things you are not sure about is only good stuff. That sexual acts in the narrative can be something that turns you on, and not makes you cringe or yawn. That (even kinky) sex can be a normal, healthy part of a romantic narrative. That you are not a weirdo for being turned on (or not being turned on) by something. That as long as you don’t hurt anyone, all is fair game, and that communication is key to a great experience.

Fan fiction is also an amazing way of adding to the narrative, fixing the narrative, showing others what you want to see in the narrative. It’s a way for your favourite characters to fall in love again and again, in different ways, and I adore it so much. Fan fiction also helps me to see what key character traits fandom sees in a character, and which ones I agree and not agree with. It’s an integral part of the fan experience, and I will forever protect its right to be seen as such.

The amazing thing is that a lot of this fan fiction is written by women, and enjoyed by women. You would think that by now somebody would go, and look, and get it into their heads that women actually enjoy reading about sex, and not only about the S&M nonsense like Grey and Grey wannabes (the only type of erotica you can find in my country right now). You know why Grey is so popular? Because women actually want to have erotic stories written for them. It’s not our fault that mainstream media only feed us crappy stuff.

So no Misha, we are not perverts. We are people who have had to endure years of fictional sexual tention CREATED BY YOU, and needed to find a way to vent. As a byproduct, we learned a lot about sexuality, erotica and fiction, so we can only thank you for it.

2. Destiel is not just about porny fanon.

I am really wondering if he was willingly playing dumb here (most probably), or whether for him the story is…well, the story, and Destiel is just sexy porn fantasies based on the story. Maybe we are just having a problem with nomenclature? If so, I can let this one slide. If not, I need to rant about this a bit as well. One way or another, I don’t aim this one at Misha either, he couldn’t say anything substantial anyway (NDAs and stuff), but the whole idea as such.

I remember my own experience of preparing stories to be shown to the public. Some of the plays we did as amateurs had so many romantic pairings that we had problems keeping track.  What made the whole actor experience fun (and I do assume that the whole experience is fun for everyone on set of SPN) was making jokes about our characters and the relationships between them. I would say that MAYBE it is different when you are a pro, but then again we get the broomstick dick fondling stories with concerning regularity, so yeah… I will go out on a limb here, and say that this is not so different from the fun I had backstage with my troupes.

One thing that we couldn’t avoid was to treat our characters how we would treat our favourites from a book or a show - creating headcanons, talking about OTPs, making fun of who slept with whom, how this behavior is ridiculous and how she is stupid to have gone with him there, she should have known he was no good. Yeah, we identified with our characters, but we also thought about them, about their backstories, about their motivations etc. There is no way a group of people who have been creating a tv show for so many years, with an OTP that was so dividing in the fandom that it had to be banned from being mentioned at all, are not aware of the million romantic tropes in the scripts that THEY HAVE TO RECREATE ON SCREEN. They may brush them off, or avoid talking about them after the scenes are shot, but they are aware of them being there. If they tried to ignore them, I guaratee you they all have friends, relatives, or coworkers who give them shit for being romantic AF on screen. Unless of course Jensen and Misha terrorized everyone so much that everyone is scared of mentioning to them…yeah, I doubt it.

But I digress. My point is, Destiel is a gorgeous epic love story, but I have a feeling that even if people mention the romantic part to Jensen and Misha now and then, they may not be aware just HOW GORGEOUS it is. You know, if you stand too close to the painting you only see the little part you are focusing on at the moment, but to really appreciate the beauty of it, you need to step back and look at it as a whole. I am willing to bet my money on the fact that none of the main players have ever done that, and this is partly the reason for a lot of the wank. They may be aware it’s romantic writing, but they don’t see the flow of the Destiel story from its conception till now. They only focus on the episode at hand, and move on. As in “this episode has a romantic moment, and this little arc is romantic”, but they don’t see how it weaves smoothly into a nine year long narrative, and how beautiful it could be if it was made canon. I don’t blame them. It’s not their job - it’s s job for the directors, for the showrunner, for the writers.

It would be nice if we had a reasonably short summary of Destiel that is not porn, codas or AUs, a summary of the actual narrative as shown on screen over the years, so that Misha and whoever else could see what we see. That would be great.

I think they would be really surprised by what they created.

[burmecianblackmage]

KNOW THE MUN - for real! - THROUGH MUSE!

Tag muns you want to know better; repost - don’t reblog.

What inspired you to try/create that muse/s: The year is 2013, and yours truly is a more or less active player on a german site called Legend of the Green Dragon. After having started with a mage character back in 2006 and eventually retiring him, I’ve been playing a young Samurai for a good year and a half, maybe already two, and I am a member of a small guild. It is a guild of similar characters, allowing for their stories to mix and mesh rather fluidly. One of them becomes my boy’s teacher, the other his rival that always tries to one up him when it comes to a certain lady corsair, who after a while falls for my boy. And there is also another girl, older than my boy, that used to be his new master’s sole student (and love interest), and that is mad furious about having to share her esteemed Sensei’s attention with my character.

It is with the mun behind said girl that I am talking, sitting in a little cafe with her as I am on my way back from visiting some people in Germany and decided to stop by. After all, since the guild meet.up the year before, we’ve been rather close friends, capable of both talking about serious stuff and worries as well as brainstorming some delightful nonsense.

One of these nonsense thoughts we have comes up when we discuss Final Fantasy, especially my fondness for Black Mages and FF IX. Having played the game as well and having taken a deep liking to the character of Freya, my friend remarks that she feels her part had been too small ultimately, and that it’s a shame we never got to explore Burmecia and the Burmecians more. And that’s when it happens:

“What if there was a Burmecian that was also a Black Mage? A Burmecian Black Mage?”

It is a couple weeks later when I am back home already and have mostly forgotten about it that I receive a message from my friend, with a dA link attached. A link to this sketch.

Initially, nothing comes from the idea, but I hold on to the sketch. And then one day, when upon lamenting the decline in activity on LotGD, a friend suggests roleplaying on tumblr, and I start to ponder what kind of muse I could play, I remember the sketch.

The basic concept for Sceada (whose name was lazily picked identically to my uername on most sites, I have to admit) takes less than two days to take shape, and on February 4th 2014, I first throw my new creation at another roleplayer and their muse - which, most fittingly, happens to be Freya Crescent.

And from there on out, the little Burmecian Black Mage as well as his backstory and characteristics continued to grow andfrow, further taking shape before ultimately arriving at what you are looking at today - and from here on out, he’ll keep growing further...

What is inspiration for that muse/s: To a large extent, Sceada is an amalgamation of mriad stories I read, as well as several mangas(animes featuring wizards and spellcasters, and last but not least the question, how an adult Vivi might be. There’s constantly stuff influencing and inspiring new facts and developments about him, be it from music that touches me, narratives that move me or even random ideas that come up in conversation, Much of Sceada has been shaped by both what happens to him in plays, as well as what people have come up with together with me. 

There’s even some crucial facts about him that only came about because of an at first glance unrelated comment by someone, like for example, Sceada not being a “real” Burmecian, and actually having a non-Burmecian father. That initially came about courtesy of a remark about how he didn’t really look all that rat like, and more like a, I quote, “a damn Tree-Kangaroo” - a sentiment I do not really agree with, but even so... it inspired his mixed parenthood, which in turn developed into an explanation on why he can use magic. Funny how that sometimes goes, huh?

Thread/AU that made you really happy: Currently, I’d have difficulties naming a favorite AU, simply because I don’t seem to have any left running anymore. Sure, I could count the ships as respective verses/AUs, but nah. Those are still the same Sceada. So yeah...

I was always fond of the group verses, and the interactions born from those. Especially Pledged Prelude back in the day offered me a lot of great interaction, and has proven to be a big part of the foundation on which Sceada is ultimately built. Though, strictly speaking it was no AU, and is part of his canon, so well.... I don’t know. Crystathereum was fun, but sadly didn’t get underway as much as we all hoped it would, and the same goes for Crowned Reveries. They allowed me to meet new people, and gave me some fun plays, but ultimately they didn’t stick as long as I’d have hoped.

Speaking of favorite threads, there’s some that come to mind. From the AUs, the battle between Victoria F. Stein and Sceada in Myrefall was a clear favorite, as it highlighted not only a lot about Sceada’s skills but also about his character, and featured some truly interesting - and disturbing - choices on his end. Setting your own clothes and fur on fire so you won’t get ripped to shreds by a blizzard full of icy blades? And then actually managing to save the city he despised as a direct result of that move and the static electricity it built in the storm clouds overhead? Talk about crazy, and crazy fun to write.

There’s naturally also a ton of shipping threads on that list. I always especially adored the interactions between Sceada and Leonora, his first love, and how much he grew from them. Another favorite is Sceada finding Mara after a nightmare, and despite them not being a couple yet comforting her with the words “Nothing you confess could make me love you any less”, I really liked the feeling of that one. Or Maria opening Sceada’s eyes to the fact that Black Magic need not mean destruction necessarily. Selphie telling him she wants children with him, and the lead up to him wanting them to. Sceada finding Fran in the forest after she removed herself due to being in heat. Sceada inviting Maria for Valentine’s Day as friends and realizing slowly that there might be more between them.

I could go on for hours. But for now, let me end this list with saying that there’s many more that could be on here, so many more that were accumulated over the four and a half years I’ve been here by now (and even more if we add my other blogs, because everything with Edea and Kamiizumi was just so great <3), and I’m sure that list will only grow. I’m confident that before long, many many more memorable plays could be added here, with all sorts of partners.

Something really special on your wishlist: Hmm... two things come to mind rather quickly for that. One would be to see Sceada actively teach someone about Magic as a mentor or even professor of sorts. I want to see him pass on his knowledge, see him be an example for the next generation and perhaps even admired by his students - or by his protege, should he only have one student. It’d definitely be interesting to see him in such a role.

Likewise, I really want to see him in a fatherly role. This can be by becoming an actual father, or in others words, by having a child with someone he holds dear, but I can also see it with him watching over someone else’s child, for whichever reason it happens. Did he adopt them? Did their parents leave them in his care while they left for a couple years? Did he find them alone and abandoned? Did he save them from an abusive household? I’d be down for anything in that regard. And I’d really like to see not only the happy sides of being a father, but also the awkward and sometimes uncomfortable sides. The thought of Sceada having to give a child the talk is particularly amusing to me, I have to admit...

Thinking about it now, there’s two more I could actually mention, albeit briefly: I’d like to see the conflict between Sceada and his mother unfold, and not just in drabbles but in actual plays with people witnessing it and being an influence. And if possible, I’d like to explore a polyamorous Sceada one day, as I feel it could suit him well - or, at least, have him confronted with the idea, and realize why he finds it appealing, but potentially not the right thing for him. That’d work too.

Something you are looking for in short future for your muse: Finally making some progress with his Journey. I’ve been awfully slow with it for numerous reasons... *sigh* Also, in some of the ships, there are a number of small... let’s call them milestones for now, that I’d like to reach. But those will develop at their own pace.

Share something related to your muse!

While I was in rehab, my girlfriend had a plush made of Sceada for me, based on one of my favorite art pieces of him. Gotta say, I’m really fond of this one.

And for something only slightly related to Sceada, I want to say that it still baffles me that people would pay money to commission art of my little Burmecian. Seriously, that’s a big deal for me, you guys. Now, for several reasons I may not be capable of showing all of it on this blog (especially the two most recent pieces *cough*), but it is always certain to make me extremely happy.

What do you think about character’s design/how do you came up with this: Both the plays and ideas have shaped Sceada into who he is today and what he looks like. And quite frankly, even if I could start over anew, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What your muse teached you: It’s less my muse that thought me this and more the muses that interacted with him, but... Everyone deserves to be loved, but that does not mean that you deserve a specific person’s love. Loving yourself and accepting who you are is important. And there are always many sides to a situation. Just because something was devised for destruction does not mean that it can only bring harm, that it cannot protect what we cherish and hold dear.

What is roleplay for you: In equally parts a place where I am allowed to dream, as well as an escape from the real world. It is where I can meet people and bond with them, and write a story no one person could ever write on their own. It is my hobby and my joy, and sometimes, it is also my pride.

Just say something nice about another mun!: I’ve met many a wonderful friend on here, and it would not be fair to just pick one from out of them I feel. So I’ll use this opportunity to tag some people, both ones I actively talk to a lot and those I sadly haven’t as much anymore. So, consider this a shout-out to @artemisxbow @thislovelylady @containyourmainposure @sunny-explosions @dovsebrii @rosalia-the-guardian @riotxblade @the-shadow-of-a-wielder and @not-a-rogue

tagged: @rosalia-the-guardian​ here: [x], plus I saw it from several others

tagging: I think most of the people that I would nominate and that are active already did this one, so... I’ll pass the tagging for today. If you see this and wanna do this, feel free to tag me though~

[altimys]

Winter 2018 anime reviews

Hello, hello. This is a follow-up post to my initial impressions post. I’ll detail how my perception of the animes changed over the season.

Also note that I will not review Violet Evergarden since I’m way too far behind on it. I’ll finish it sometime in the next season once I’m free.

Dropped Animes

The ones that were unbearable.

Citrus

3/10

Like mentioned in the post from the beginning of the season, it just had this unrealistic, trope-driven, incest (but not really) story. Mostly style and little substance, but not even my style. Well, do take this with a grain of salt. I didn’t even finish the first episode.

Pop Team Epic

7/10

I definitely appreciate the experimental and sarcastic nature of this anime. But it wasn’t really worth spending an extra 15 minutes to watch the same thing a second time, especially since I didn’t find all the skits funny. I probably would’ve watched it if they were broken into seven minute segments.

Sanrio Boys

5/10

Too cheesy. Thanks for the “be yourself” message, but I’m not really interested in bishounens parading this every episode. The protagonist’s broken relationship with their grandmother as a sad backstory made me facepalm very hard. If you had advertised this to me about 6 years ago, I may have gobbled it up, but nowadays it’s not my taste.

Darling in the Franxx

5/10

I didn’t pick it back up, and I didn’t really see anything major from twitter or tumblr, except for gifs of the pink haired girl being with her sexy-cute charm. Y’know, the kind of charm where she’s designed to be appealing in a sexy, vampiric way, but she’s doing something cute like licking her fingers after eating a slice of meat or something. Normally I’d not mind this so much, but remembering how typical the protag was, it definitely gave off the manic pixie dream girl vibes. Art and animation I saw was great though! Unfortunately.

Osomatsu-san

5/10

Skits really fell flat this season. I knew that S2 would lose some drive after the stunt they pulled for the finale of S1, but a lot of skits were utter nonsense. I enjoyed the ones where they experimented with the complexities of each character’s personalities (i.e. Choromatsu and Ichimatsu’s awkward interactions), but it was like wading through a swamp to get a chuckle. I watched most of the season then dropped it, since it wasn’t really worth spending time not having fun.

Mediocre Anime

I don’t know why I watched these but I did.

Garo Vanishing Line

3/10

The story was killing me so much in the end that I would multitask when watching it, and I’m not a natural multitasker. It was just bad writing. Nothing really made sense, and it was quite predictable. Like Sword’s sister came out of nowhere (after she died for Sword’s sad backstory) and was suddenly had HACKER SKILLZ. And I was almost positive that in S1, Sophie’s brother was taken away from her by force, not him wanting to join the El Dorado project. Whatever, does it even matter? The best thing of the season was probably Luke getting a haircut and ditching that awful trenchcoat. Do not recommend.

Touken Ranbu Hanamaru

6/10

Guilty pleasure of the season. Still managed to enjoy the nonsense, with the musicals, and these bishounen and moeblobs being one-dimensional. I did appreciate some of the character interactions and the references to Katsugeki Touken Ranbu, but with these kinds of animes, I really can’t say it’s quality. It’s meant to be aimed at a certain audience, and knowing that I am part of this audience makes it enjoyable to watch. Wouldn’t recommend unless you really like bishounenified swords.

Ms. Koizumi Loves Ramen Noodles

6/10

I previously wrote that I was interested in seeing the stalker girl’s infatuation with Koizumi-san turn into a relationship. Of course it didn’t happen. Yuri? In your dreams. I do applaud this anime for going in depth into the ramen culture and making me hungry every week. There were some hardcore facts about ramen’s origins and experimental ramen. You could tell that they did a lot of research (or were sponsored well). I ate an average of 1.5 packs of instant ramen each week, partly thanks to Koizumi-san. How can I not eat noodles after watching it? Not really any substance to this anime unless you like hearing about ramen facts and watching anime girls foodgasm.

Average Anime

These I could recommend with disclaimers and not feel bad about it.

Junji Ito Collection

6/10

Like with most animes with short stories, there’s a handful of good and bad stories. Since the source material is pretty good, there’s more interesting stories than not. There are definitely some that are ridiculously stupid, but if you are in search of horror anime, this is one you should watch. I wouldn’t say it’s equivalent to Yami Shibai, but it’s good. The animation can’t match the signature entrancing horror that Junji Ito creates, but it’s a decent adaptation. One minor quip I have is that they reuse voice actors in each skit. Might be a budget issue, might be something else. It’s not a big deal, but mostly noticeable to me because Hoshiyan’s voice is too recognizable for me. lol. Oh yeah, the short story with the oil was absolutely disgusting. I enjoyed being grossed out.

Gakuen Babysitters

6/10

It’s like a shoujo but with toddlers. Cute interactions, likable characters. Of course, it’s a light-hearted story, so I guess I shouldn’t expect too much out of it. The comedy bits are well-written, and the art style is absolutely adorable. Great casual watch if you want to feel fluffy without the bullshit of shoujo romances.

Laid Back Camp

7/10

As the title suggests, it’s a pretty laid-back anime. I love the different personalities of the female cast. They shone quite well through the segments of texting. The way that they texted felt friendly, and I felt that I was part of this silly chat group. Also enjoyed learning a lot about camping supplies (and the little pinecones that squealed were so cute). Makes me consider wanting to go solo-hiking or camping to be able to enjoy nature. I’m really glad it covered winter camping, because that’s something that most people never consider, so you get to see the different equipment, activities, and benefits. Recommend if you want something chill with a well-written cast, but not a character-driven story line.

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens

7/10

Surprisingly, I liked it quite a bit. I was actually expecting this one to tank, because it had a predominantly male lineup, was about assassins, and had a crossdresser. Sounded like someone picked things they thought would appeal to the general public and made an anime of it. Thankfully, I was wrong. Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens is actually based off a light novel series, which really shows through the thought-out plot and layered characters. I wouldn’t say it’s as crazy as Durarara!!, but some of the twists are quite interesting. I also really enjoy the diverse cast and their interactions: Lin Xianming, pseudonym for a Taiwanese assassin who also happens to crossdress; Banba Zenji, a playful, seemingly idiotic detective with a deck of tricks up his sleeves. There’s also a canonically gay character, an ex, a child, a hacker (with an interesting backstory), and more. And these characters make mistakes, get injuries, and have flaws. I’m hoping for a second season, because watching this was quite nice each week.

Karakai Jozu no Takagi-san

7/10

If you wanted fluff with actual romance, here’s the one for the season! There’s also quite a bit of comedy added. I did feel sorry for the protag Nishikata for falling victim to Takagi’s pranks every time, but I always looked forward to what she was going to do, and how it would fluster him. I think the romantic buildup was well-paced throughout the season. Kudos to whoever paced it, because they danced around with my feelings like an expert, giving me enough of a taste to feel the flutters of romance in my stomach, but not enough to make Nishikata and Takagi an item. Some of the skits were directed very well, with surprisingly effective cinematography (see the rain and umbrella skit). The ending was really cute, and I’m pretty encouraged to read the manga to get more content.

Mahou Tsukai no Yome

7/10

Nothing really jumped out at me. I feel like the actions of the characters didn’t follow a logic to it that made me understand the character better. Nothing really sparked an interested in wanting to cheer the characters on. I really felt passive in watching events happen to Chise and Elias, and the ending wasn’t particularly spectacular either. I think it’s a decent one to pass the time, but I could not get invested in the plot or characters.

Koi wa Ameagari no You Ni

8/10

This anime certainly isn’t for everyone’s tastes, but I think I really appreciated the latter half of the series more than the first half. The surface-level summary is about the age-gap romance, but once I was able to hear Kondo’s internal thoughts, especially about being older, the nostalgia of youth, and trying to pick a passion back up, I started enjoying it a lot more. I especially loved the scenes when he would banter with his college friend Chihiro. The only downside of the latter half of the episodes was the awkward tension between Akira and her friend. Her friend would just yell at her, and Akira would take it, and then not really consider it. And somehow it’s resolved. Well, other than that, I did like the characters and ending a lot.

Kokkoku

8/10

I rather enjoyed the setup and the unknown mechanisms of the system. The enemy really had the advantage in intellect and strength, and it was interesting watching how the characters tried to get around that. The last three episodes were a little flat, and the plot armor (kind of) and last bit of exposition was almost unnecessary, but it was there to give us a happy ending, which I did appreciate. Love the grandpa. I’d say this anime did a pretty decent job at the action and strategy, and the ending wasn’t blowing my mind, but I do really commend it on the setup.

Exceptional Anime

Worth your time.

A Place Further Than the Universe

8/10

Drama about girls aiming to go to Antarctica. Strong female cast, with a pretty believable depiction of average high school girls and how they might react and pursue their dreams. The voice acting was pretty spectacular for this show, especially during the second to last episode. ;) I think this anime is very real with what it’s like with concepts we usually don’t think of: having ambitions, lacking ambitions, making friends, losing friends, finding closure. It was rewarding to walk with the girls in every step of their journey. Animation quality was pretty awesome too. I also cried a bit at the end. I didn’t think I would enjoy an anime about high school girls going to Antarctica, but hey, I loved it.

Hakumei to Mikochi

8/10

It’s a slice-of-life about a pair of thumb-sized forest dwellers. Hakumei, the more adventurous of the two, works as a handyman and has a determined attitude. She’s still a very considerate person and is full of compassion and a heart to help others. Mikochi is a bit more reserved and particular. She’s famous for her cooking and has a passion for textiles and clothing. Both characters compliment each other well, and it’s cute seeing them bustle about their daily lives. You also get to see into the lives of other characters they meet, and it feels an established world with all it’s quirks and culture. The general feel of this anime is relaxed and storybook-like, similar to the same kind of vibe I get from Ghibli movies. I honestly thought this was a children’s anime during the first episode. It could be, but I enjoyed it a lot.