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marmolady · 4 years ago

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The Fountain

Main Pairings: Estela x (f)MC

Summary: Post-EndlessEnding. A Broken Chains AU. The world has been restored, but at the price of Taylor's life. And Estela isn't ready to let her go.

Word Count: 2121

Warnings: Major character death.

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove

Hug prompts-- 29. group hug. Thanks @mauvecatfic! I'll make Raj's next hugs more cheerful.

Through the rumblings of an oncoming rainstorm, the silent figure of Estela Montoya limped and crawled through the thick La Huerta jungle, driven by a thought that had become a need… to see the face of her beloved again, to hear her voice. It spurred her on, a tiny glimmer of something worth living for that she clung to with desperation that increased with every unsteady step.

Estela’s last memory of her wife, of her beautiful Taylor, wouldn’t be that hollow shell-- bloodless, devoid of all the fire and spirit… all the easy warmth that should have been there-- that she’d laid sobbing next to the dark medical room. No. She was going to take her minute more. Everyone else… they had a world raised from the dead; a world that meant absolutely fucking nothing to Estela now. After everything she’d sacrificed… god, Taylor… the world owed her that moment.

The Fountain of Youth was a long and arduous trek from Elyys’tel at the best of times, but half-dragging a savaged leg, it was near insurmountable. If it weren’t for the promise of hearing that voice, of seeing those sapphire eyes alight with life… well, Estela would endure the harrowing journey over again if that was the end. Her knees, the heels of her hands… they were badly grazed and muddied from catching herself as she’d stumbled again and again. Her senses, usually alert to her surroundings, had been dulled by the haze of grief that preoccupied her every thought. She was lucky to have gotten all this way through La Huerta’s treacherous jungles without coming to serious harm, but it was of little concern to Estela. The worst that could happen was that she’d die. And that…. In all honesty, it would be welcome. What was there worth surviving for now? Were it not for all that had been sacrificed so that she might live, she’d end her fucking life herself and be done with it. There was no future… no future save for this time they had together. When their moment was over, Estela would be once again plunged into the abyss that was the depth of her grief, an abyss that would surely swallow her up. She couldn’t look that far ahead-- she just couldn’t. She had to keep it together for Taylor… one last time.

Estela fell to her knees as she came through the doorway of the abandoned temple. Dread flooded her body. All that was left now was for her to summon the courage to reach out to the woman she loved from across time… to do so knowing that she’d been setting in motion the last minute they’d have together. Once it was done it was done; that much she as certain of. She could keep going back to that tree until she drove herself to insanity-- but doing so would be to inflict that pain on Taylor, forever colouring her too-short life with a darkness she didn’t deserve. Just once. Just once in the rest of her life-- that wasn’t asking too much, was it? Estela’s stomach turned as she thought it out. There had been no thinking it out while she’d slogged through the jungle; she’d moved onwards robotically, her mind and body detached from one another while grief drove her to the last hope, the last scrap of her person. Only now did she doubt everything. She hauled herself back to her feet, her weakened leg trembling violently beneath her weight. And she kept walking forwards, all the while her mind whirred.

It wasn’t as though Taylor would see this future, see the heartbreak in her wife’s eyes, and be able to change the path she’d set herself on. This path had tortured Taylor. She’d sacrificed herself because she simply couldn’t live with the alternative. And she’d died with hope. A hope that had been for naught, a spark extinguished along with the life in her eyes, but a hope that had given Taylor the courage to give away her very life force. What right did Estela have to take that away?

But I need her. I need her!

She’s gone.

The minute would be over and… Taylor would still be… gone. Would Estela hurt any less? No, but she’d endure a world of pain for even a second of feeling Taylor’s presence there with her. She’d endure it again and again, over and over until it killed her.

If it’s gonna hurt her…?

Estela’s shallow breathing became even more rapid as she stood before the tree. Tears spilled down her dirty cheeks. Blind grief had gotten her this far, but she’d been so blind. She couldn’t do this. Not now, not ever.

Taylor was dead. Dead and gone. They’d said their goodbyes down beneath Atropo, before Taylor had touched that damned crystal. She’d close her eyes and see the terrible, sickening way her sweet Taylor had writhed in agony… the way her face lost almost all semblance of her self as it contorted with the pain. As Estela had seen again and again, near constantly since she’d woken to a healed world, but a world without Taylor. It was more than she could bear.

With tears and snot rolling into her mouth, dripping from her chin, she stumbled toward the tree… toward the Fountain of Youth. If she was careful, if she thought it through properly, she could find solace elsewhere. Panting for air, Estela wiped her face hurriedly. She couldn’t be crying for this, no matter how much she was tearing up inside.

She’d told herself she wouldn’t do it. It was risky; she’d need to be certain not to say or do a thing that could alter the events that would shape, well, everything. But it was different now. She needed it; she needed her mom to tell her everything would be okay. Because the person she’d otherwise have turned to was lost forever, and… because it wasn’t okay…. She wasn’t… she wasn’t.

Raising her hand to the tree’s surface, Estela closed her eyes and imagined her mother’s face… the words of comfort that would come. Just enough… just enough to keep her from crumbling. But as her fingers were about to graze the bark, she hesitated. That face in her mind warped with shock and fear. Of course. That fucking scar. She wouldn’t even be able to get a single word out before it would be clear to Olivia that something had gone wrong… that she’d been badly hurt. Estela felt the cold weight of her heart sink down to her toes. She… couldn’t do that to her mama.

A tortured cry wrenched itself from Estela’s lungs as she threw her body forward against the hard, cold bricks. There were no more loopholes… no cheats that could give her even a moment more of an existence that wasn’t this fucking, fucking nightmare. She screamed into the damp ground, and screamed until her throat and lungs were raw.

Why did she have to go on living?

It was like she was drawn to people who were like her-- people who cared too much, people who would die for a cause. They’d die and they’d leave her. She’d tried to warn Taylor off; ‘you get close to me, you’ll get hurt’. Bullshit. Because no matter how Estela might put her life on the line for what she believed in, somehow she ended up the one still breathing. But she didn’t fucking want to. She didn’t want to live anymore. She didn’t… want to….

She howled.

_________________________

A small party emerged at last from the thickest part of the forest, the ruins of No’ox Naj illuminated by a flash of lightning as if to welcome them to shelter.

Shivering from the wet that sent a chill to his bones, Diego huddled close to Varyyn, who guided him with a gentle steer of a long and muscular arm.

“You must watch your step. It would be easy to slip on the wet moss.”

Gazing around the temple, taking in the gloom that hung there, Raj shuddered violently. “Maybe it was all that talk of ghosts and the whole ‘dead Zahra’ thing, but this place just gives me the heebies….”

“Well, yeah. That’d… that’d do it.”

“Estela?” Quinn called out, her voice echoing off the stone walls. “Esteeelllaaaa…!”

No answer. Diego’s heart sank. He’d been so sure he’d been onto something. Not only was this place a strong connection to the Endless-- and by association, with Taylor-- but it held within a magic gift that could never be more tempting than it was right now.

“We should go further in,” he decided. If this ‘Fountain of Youth’ thing did work, maybe they could ask…? The thought made a hard lump rise in his throat. The thought of seeing Taylor again. But they couldn’t… they couldn’t.

“You’re right,” Michelle agreed. “As if Estela ever comes running when anyone calls her name at the best of times…. If she’s anywhere, she took herself there to be alone; she was never going to make this easy.”

Diego winced so hard he was certain it hadn’t gone unnoticed by a single one of the group. She’d have come running for Taylor. Every time. He cleared his throat. “We should at least check around the tree. Um, maybe check in with the others?”

Somehow, he’d found himself leading the search party. A role, he was so painfully aware, that would usually have naturally fallen to Taylor. That should still be falling to Taylor. His imaginary friend had left him, so… so it was time to grow up. To step up. He supposed it helped that everyone was handling him with kid gloves just as they were Estela; if Diego needed something to happen, everyone just about fell over themselves to make it happen. Right now, all he wanted-- all any of them wanted-- was to know that Estela was safe. If anything happened to her now….

Quinn checked her phone; still a bizarre feeling after so many months without such communications. Her face fell, even expecting no different to the response she got. “Still nothing on their end. But the Elysian could take days to check properly, even with whatever scans Iris has access to, and all the cameras-- just because they haven’t found her there yet, doesn’t mean….”

“We’re not losing anyone else!” Michelle said shrilly as she paced the floor. “I’ve just lost one sister and I’m not about to… about to….” She gasped and dissolved into sobs. “…Taylor would be losing her mind.”

There was a shuffling sound… stumbling feet. Everyone hushed, a joint breath held.

Limping into view, one hand-- stained with blood as were her forehead and knees-- propping her up with the wall as she came forward; Estela.

“It’s okay. I… I’m safe.”

Safe. Not ‘okay’, but safe. It was all she could give them.

She could have hidden away. Her friends--- though she loved them so much-- were living reminders of what had been torn away. She could not look at a one of them and not see Taylor.

“Oh, thank god!” Michelle exclaimed, and she rushed forward. She had a moment’s hesitation, holding back from taking her friend in her arms and squeezing her to within an inch of her life, not knowing if any physical show of affection would be welcomed. But Estela reached out, her eyes welling, and Michelle guided her into an embrace.

The feeling of being taken in a friends arms, of being held… it was wonderful, and yet it hurt, and all at once the dam broke and Estela could not have held back her tears if she’d wanted to. She collapsed to the cold, damp floor, eased down by her friend's steadying arms.

Raj was next in-- never one to hold back when a group hug was in the offing. As he got down on the ground, Estela flopped forward and cried into his chest. There was nothing to say, so he just wrapped her in a hug and squeezed her there, while Diego and Varyyn, and Quinn piled in too. There they wept together. Sharing in loss and relief and exhaustion and a deep and overpowering sadness.

In the centre of the mass of arms and bodies, Estela closed her eyes against Raj’s warm chest… surrounded in a scent so reminiscent of happy memories and better days when the world was not so dark… feasts and laughter and… her. Her Taylor. She sighed deeply… and let herself feel it.

The comfort she needed was right there. It wasn’t enough-- how could it be when her world had ended?-- but it was warmth and it was love, and her heart was not breaking alone.

#endless summer #playchoices #estela montoya #estela x mc

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kookicat · 4 years ago

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To Bid Goodbye to the Past

The cell is dark and damp, walls running with fetid water that pools on the floor and yet the dark-haired man lounges on the thin wooden bench like it's a throne. He's unkempt; greasy hair slicked back from his face, dark stubble on his sunken cheeks, wrists poking out from the too short sleeves of the jumpsuit he's wearing.

The jail is buried deep underground and the artificial light flickers, casting a sickly yellow glow over everything. Wonder if they ever turn it off? Eliot thinks as he stares in silence at the caged man. I bet they don't. This is where the monsters live. Better to keep the lights on, so you know where they are.

For anyone else, Eliot would feel pity. Outrage, even, because he's spent enough time in cells just like it to know how fucking miserable it is. But for Damien Moreau, all he can feel is a tired sort of revulsion. They won, beat the other man and yet Eliot knows that the job isn't over. Even behind bars, Moreau is too much of a risk to leave alive. Some gullible or desperate or naive fool will come along and the man will get a phone, will get time outside, will get a visit to the hospital and all hell will break loose again.

Eliot can't bear the thought of Moreau coming after his people. Can't bear the thought of being out in the world, thinking that he's safe, that he finally managed to leave his past behind and seeing Moreau. He's spent enough nights waking up in a cold sweat because of the man, doesn't want to spend any more trying to shake off a nightmare in which Moreau plays a starring role.

He stops, two feet away from the steel bars, keeping his hands loose in front of him even though they ache to feel the comforting weight of the gun he's carrying, tucked snuggly unto a holster in the small of his back.

"Hello, Eliot," Moreau says, and Eliot has to fight off a shudder, because they're back to first names and there's something too damn intimate about that.

"Moreau," he says, damn glad that all the time he's spent around Sophie lets him keep the shake out of his voice. He sounds bored, if anything, and the flash of annoyance on Moreau's face is worth the effort it's costing him not to take a step back.

He can't pinpoint exactly when his life started to go to hell, can't look at one single moment and say there, that's when the first bit of my soul was ripped away, but he knows for damn sure the process only sped up in Moreau's employ. The worst thing I ever did was for you, Eliot thinks, and tries not to remember the wrecked car with a child seat that absolutely should not have been there. It's no good because the emotions are churning inside of him and he knows if he lets one tiny hint of it show, Moreau will use it against him. He blinks long, once, and focuses on the anger, because right now that's the safest emotion he has.

"Are you here to kill me?" Moreau asks, a thread of arrogant amusement in his voice, and leans back in a way that, in other circumstances, would have been a blatant invitation.

"Yes," Eliot says and draws the gun. It's a beautiful weapon- a SIG Sauer P220 Combat- and a gift from Quinn, who has his own reasons for wanting Moreau dead.

"Do your precious team know you're here?" Moreau asks, and straightens, keeping a wary eye on the gun even as he pokes at Eliot's defences, trying to find a hole.

There isn't one, because that's what being part of a team does, fills in the gaps. He's learned a lot from them; Sophie taught him about emotional strength, Parker how to leap without worrying about the consequences, Nate just how important family is, even if that family is bound by something other than blood, Hardison just how much of weapon kindness can be, if it's wielded correctly and he plans to use that now.

"Yes," he says softly, even though they don't, because while they'd probably understand, it wasn't a risk he wanted to take and pulls the cheap burner phone from his pocket. "One call. Say your goodbyes."

Moreau catches the phone, one handed, and tosses it back. "You know I have no one to call," he says, and stands, which is what Eliot wanted.

Could put one in his gut and walk away, Eliot thinks, because there's something darkly appealing about leaving the man to suffer, but the person who could do that died under the team's influence and he knows nothing but a clean kill will do. "Then maybe you shouldn't have been such a bastard," he says and closes his finger gently around the trigger. The shot is deafening, bouncing off the walls and Eliot makes the noise worse by firing again.

Moreau staggers backwards, one hand lifting in disbelief to touch the blood pouring from his chest before he crumples backwards onto the narrow wooden bench. They are fatal wounds and yet Eliot knows the fear in him won't go away until the man is on his way to hell. He fires again, ears ringing from the sound and finds even with all of his training, even with just how much he doesn't like guns, he can't get his finger off the trigger. The gun clicks, clip empty and Eliot blows out a shuddering sigh of relief that feels disturbingly close to a sob. Seven shots, at close range, make a hell of a mess and Eliot knows there's no way Damien Moreau will ever bother them again. It takes him two tries to holster the gun; he's shaking, adrenaline racing through him, the relief so heavy and profound that it's almost unbearable. Part of him wants to be ashamed of what he's just done, because he made promises to himself that he's just broken six ways to Sunday - no more guns, no more killing- but he just can't find it in himself to feel bad in any way. They're safe again, because even with all of the team's skills, Damien Moreau was too big a threat to leave alive.

"Rot in hell, you motherfucker," he says and walks away without looking back.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32544466/chapters/80724325

Full fic here (the second part is on here but man, I can't find it)

#leverage #eliot spencer #whump #emotional whump #damien moreau #fan fiction #fanfic

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crying-over-spilled-feels · 3 years ago

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I’m Here, Don’t You Fear

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF MISCARRIAGE AND FERTILITY PROBLEMS!

Disclaimer: The characters in this drabble are owned by Julia Quinn, Shondaland, and Netflix and are thus not owned by me. In addition, I am also not receiving any monetary gain from this drabble. Based on the drabble prompt: “You are enough.” Warnings of miscarriage and fertility problems.

Word Count: 667

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When her courses came for the thirty-sixth time since they were wed, Francesca bawls into a pillow, the tears hot, heavy, and thick against her cheeks. She and Michael had been trying dutifully for three years to have a child with one another, and yet, their countless efforts had still not been rewarded. It was beginning to seem, in Francesca’s eyes, that she was simply not meant to be a mother and was instead simply meant to be the loving, adventurous, and rule-breaking aunt who visited from Scotland and allowed her nieces and nephews a place for respite and mischief. Then there was Michael, handsome, strong, charming Michael, her dearest husband who always did his best to comfort Francesca during these times of self-doubt and self-loathing. This is one of those such times.

“Francesca, my darling?” Michael softly speaks as he cracks open the door to their bedroom. “Oh, Francesca,” he continues, scooping his redheaded wife into his arms, pressing tender kisses to the top of her head and her cheeks, hugging her close to his body. “I am here, love. I will always be right here,” the Earl of Kilmartin assures, running his large, muscular hands through Francesca’s hair and trying to keep the tears from pricking his own eyes.

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As much as it hurt him knowing that he had not managed to get Francesca pregnant yet again, it hurt Michael Stirling much more to know how absolutely heartbroken his wife was and how she always blamed herself for their inability to conceive during that month.

“Michael, I---” Francesca sobs, her entire body wracked with the force of her tears. “I thought this time we could manage it! We were so active this month, I thought for sure that I would…”

“Francesca, love, look at me,” Michael softly commands, smiling softly as Francesca’s deep blue eyes met his silver ones as she brushes his jet black hair off of his forehead. “None of this has ever been, nor will it ever be your fault. Do you understand me?” here the Earl of Kilmartin pauses, his voice suddenly thick with all of the emotions he has tried to hold in for his wife every month during their marriage when she is crestfallen to find out she is not with child. “You are enough for me, Francesca Bridgerton Stirling. If we never have a child, as much as I know you desire and crave for one, I will remain happy so long as I have you in my life. Your miscarriage after John died, I…”

Francesca’s breath hitches in her throat at this and Michael simply tightens his grip on the love of his life as he continues to hold her.

“I was scared half to death that it meant we would lose you, too like we had lost John. I know you desperately want to be a mother, love, but I truly do believe that the time will come for that,” he continues, and Francesca nuzzles her head up under Michael’s neck, entwining their fingers together. “The Lord knows that three Bridgerton babies next year is far too many for one clan to keep up with,” and here Michael lets out a light chuckle, which actually makes Francesca quirk her lips in a half smile.

“I just wanted to give us children of our own, to build a family of our own, my dear,” Francesca admits, her blue eyes gleaming with tears but also with love for Michael. “But I must say, I am extremely thankful for all of this time we have gotten to spend together with just the two of us. When the time comes, I know you will be a wonderful father, Michael.”

“And you will be an outstanding mother. I just know it! Now, then, I will see about drawing you a hot bath and we shall spend the night together eating some supper and relaxing by the fireplace.”

“That sounds lovely. I love you, Michael.”

“I love you, too, Frannie. Always.”

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Author’s Note: Yes, this is one of my first angst pieces I have written during my return to writing for fandoms. Michael and Francesca were such a steamy, emotional, and dynamic couple in their book that When He Was Wicked is my second favorite of the Bridgerton novels right after The Viscount Who Loved Me! I adore their pairing so much, and I really hope we get to see the two of them in their own season of the show together, especially since Netflix’s version of Bridgerton tends to throw Francesca into the background and forget about her. Anyway, I wanted to write a drabble for each one of the siblings for the March Drabble Challenge I am participating in, but instead of the happy-go-lucky one for the other siblings, I felt that this topic needed to be touched on for Francesca and Michael since it is not really brought up in the book, save for in the second epilogue when Francesca finds out during her and Michael’s stay at Aubrey Hall that she is expecting. I have interned/externed at two hospitals in Labor and Delivery and sincerely hope to make that my permanent job once I pass my NCLEX exam over the summer, and so I have seen several mothers who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths, and it is imperative that they have someone in their lives to comfort them. I promise I will one day write some happy Francesca/Michael stories, but I felt this one needed to be told. As always, thank you all for the support and until next time, dear readers! Have a wonderful day, afternoon, or night!

#francesca x michael #francesca bridgerton x michael stirling #francesca bridgerton #michael stirling #when he was wicked #bridgerton #set before the epilogue of the novel When He Was Wicked

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comebackbehere23 · 5 years ago

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Here’s to the weirdest crossover I could write!

Kimberly finds out about Shelby first.

Unlike her baby sister, Kimberly isn’t naive and wondering. She doesn’t have a heart of gold, or stars in her eyes. She doesn’t picture their mother with a crown on her head or imagine that she is some superhero; Kimberly thinks she’s a coward. This woman, their mother, let them both go. Kimberly knows technically there was nothing the woman could do to keep them, but that does nothing to quell the bitterness that fills her whenever she is young and her dads keep her home on the days they make Mother’s Day cards in class.

Sometimes, late at night, Kimberly lays in bed and remembers the vague memory of a voice crooning showtunes to her. And on those nights, if she closes her eyes and thinks hard enough, she can picture the image of a sharp jawline and dark eyes. Her dads tell her it’s all in her head, but it isn’t till she is standing at the mouth of the auditorium where Jesse St. James and Shelby Corcoran stand that she realizes that it was never a dream. It was a memory. It was a memory of her mother.

“St. James!”

Kimberly stops breathing for a second when heads quickly snap her way, and she blinks in awe at how much Rachel resembles their mother. All Kimberly sees of herself when she looks at Shelby is her jawline, and that’s even a reach. A harsh breath blows through her nose as she crosses her arms over her chest and marches down the steps so she can stand at the bottom of the stage and glare up at Jesse and Shelby.

“You know, I had a feeling that you were a spy but this is just fucking disgusting.” Kimberly growls as she glares at him. “How could you do this to Rachel? You told her she was your friend, she trusts you. And for you? What is it? Are you just trying to get in the good graces of your coach?”

Shelby looks down at her in shock, “Kimberly.”

“And you.” Kimberly seethes as she turns her attention the wide eyed woman. “Why the hell are you sniffing around my little sister anyway? Why the sudden interest?”

“Kimberly…”

“I’m glad to hear you know my name, Mom. Not that I care.” Kimberly snaps, and she falters ever so slightly when Jesse barks out a laugh. “What the fuck is so funny, St. James?”

Jesse is cruel, that much Kimberly knows. But she also knows he has a spot for her sister, and for a second she sees that softness in his gaze as he regards her. She also sees the pity. A ball of dread sinks low in her stomach as she looks between them, and she sees the sympathy on Shelby’s face as she tilts her head and observes Kimberly for a moment. As the staring continues, Kimberly feels the air around her tightening and she scratches weakly at her throat as the odd feeling of suffocating begins to bubble around her.

“They never told you.” Shelby whispers.

Kimberly scowls weakly, “Told me what?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Shelby sighs, and her expression melts into one that reminds her so much of her younger sister. “Kimberly, you shouldn’t be here. I’m not who you’re looking for.”

“The hell you aren’t.” Kimberly replies in a harsh tone. “Rachel found your tape, and she’s a mess. If it wasn’t for her girlfriend then I’m pretty sure our dads would’ve had her admitted. You got inside her head, you won. So, why her? Did you think she’d be easier to get to? Scared I’d see right through St. James and his act?”

“I wasn’t asked to get close you, you weren’t even brought up.” Jesse sighs, and he tilts his chin up as Kimberly blinks in confusion. “Shelby never wanted to get close to you, Kimberly.”

Kimberly swallows hard, “Am I not good enough for you, Shelby?”

“You’re...Kimberly, you’re not mine.” Shelby whispers.

“Neither is Rachel!”

“No, sweetie,” Shelby sighs. “You aren’t mine.”

Kimberly knows exactly what she means the first time she says it, but the second time is like a slap across the face. She can barely breathe, and the last of the air seems to vanish around her as she stumbles back. She isn’t Shelby’s. This isn’t her mother. The thought sends her spiraling and she turns to leave, and once she hears Shelby yelling how sorry she is, she allows the first tear of realization to fall.

“Kim? Can I please come in?”

Rachel sounds so small on the other side of the door and it reminds her of the night’s her little sister would have nightmares and come tapping at her door. As far back as she can remember, Kimberly has always taken care of Rachel; sometimes better than their fathers could. She knows her sister like then back of her hand, and she absolutely adores her. But right now? Right now she can’t even look at Rachel. For the first time, Kimberly is jealous of her and she doesn’t know how to process that.

“No. Go away.”

“Kimba.” Rachel whimpers. “Please?”

Kimberly clenches her jaw and closes her eyes as the memories of that stupid nickname flood her. She sees her little sister, all big brown eyes and thick curls chanting it as they play in the backyard. She hears it being loudly shouted by a nine-year-old Rachel at her first dance competition. The soft whispers of it play over and over as she remembers the fat tears on Rachel’s face when they both had come out to each other on a rainy Sunday afternoon. It’s too much.

“Fuck off, Rachel!”

This time, she hears her sister gasp and then she hears the shuffle of feet. After a few tense moments, Kimberly drops her face into her pillow and screams out her frustration and sadness.

“Get your ass out here, Kimberly.”

Kimberly rolls her eyes as she hears the angry voice belonging to Quinn. With a sigh, she flicks through the pages of her magazine and chooses to ignore the blonde pounding a hard fist against her bedroom door. She isn’t the least bit surprised Quinn is here, she figures Rachel ran to her precious girlfriend the second she heard something she didn’t like from Kimberly’s mouth; that is Rachel specialty after all, tattling on her older sister.

“What do you want, Fabray?” Kimberly demands.

“I want you to open this door so I can smack some sense into you.”

Kimberly snorts with a lopsided grin, “Cute.”

“I’m serious. Rachel is crying. When have you ever just let her cry? Something is going on with you, and I want to know what.” Quinn hisses. “So open this door and talk to me.”

“If my sister is crying, shouldn’t you be with her instead of bothering me?” Kimberly hums, and she struggles to keep from darting off the bed. “I’m busy. Go take care of her.”

Kimberly hears Quinn scuttle off and she has to keep herself glued to the bed as she hears Rachel’s sob. Her sister crying is one of the worst things in the world, especially if she is the cause of the tears. With a shake of her head, Kimberly zones off as she flickers through the magazine and waits; eventually the sobs of her sister fade away, and Kimberly blinks as her own cries replace Rachel’s.

“Santana, is that a fucking chainsaw?”

“You bet your sweet ass it is. Step aside.”

Kimberly goes still as she hears the motor of a chainsaw kick on. And then she hears Brittany’s voice, and the sound quickly dies away.

“But Q said…”

“Where did you even get that thing?” Rachel demands.

“I found it in your neighbor’s garage. The dumbass left his back door open.” Santana scoffs. “You said you wanted your sister out of her room so I was just trying to help.”

“By sawing down her door?” Quinn squeaks.

“Details, Fabray.” Santana grumbles. “Kimberly, get your ass out here!”

Kimberly flexes her jaw, “No. Go away.”

“Did she…? I know the bitch didn’t just tell me to go away.” Santana exclaims, and the chainsaw kicks on once more.

“Grab her!”

“She has a chainsaw!”

“So? Grab her!”

Kimberly sighs and drowns the struggle out with loud music as she goes back to her phone.

A soft tap interrupts her as she drifts off.

“What?” Kimberly groans.

“Kim? It’s Jason.”

Kimberly growls in annoyance, “Go. Away.”

“Everyone is worried and…”

“Jason, I will shave off your eyebrows.”

“Alright then. Take your time. See you at school on Monday.”

“Babe?”

Kimberly tenses, “Now this is just low.”

With a grumble of annoyance, Kimberly tosses her sheets off her body and stomps towards the door. The anger on her face slowly fades as she throws it open and sees Trini standing before her in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. With a lopsided grin, Trini tilts her head and Kimberly reaches out to fist the front of her hoodie before she drags her girlfriend inside the bedroom and slams it shut as soon as she sees Rachel’s hopeful face.

“Hi.” Kimberly breathes out as she curls her hands around Trini’s hips and rests their foreheads together. “What are you doing here?”

“Baby Berry called me.” Trini replies as she reaches up to tug a hand through Kimberly’s hair. “She told me you hadn’t left your room. That explains why you didn’t want to get donuts this morning.”

“I’m sorry. I…”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand. I do this too. Sometimes you just have to shut out the world, I’m not going to push you to talk.” Trini assures her. “I just need to know if I need to kick someone’s ass for hurting you…”

“All I need is you. Here. With me.” Kimberly murmurs as she runs her hands down to Trini’s thighs before she tugs her forward. “I feel like I can breathe if you’re here.”

Trini sighs softly as Kimberly easily sweeps her into her arms and she curls herself around her girlfriend with ease, “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

Kimberly hums as she turns to carry Trini to her bed and she lays her down with ease before she braces a forearm by her head and presses their lips together. With her girlfriend here, Kimberly feels like she can do this. She feels like she’ll be able to face her reality soon. As hands tug at her thin t-shirt, Kimberly allows everything else to melt away as she focuses on Trini; right now, this is what she wants. This is what she needs. And she’ll be damned if she let’s Shelby take this from her too.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Kimberly shakes her head, “I’m not hers.��

“Oh, baby.” Trini sighs as she scratches at Kimberly’s back. “I’m so sorry, Kimberly. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Rachel…”

“She’ll understand when you explain.”

“It hurts, Trini.” Kimberly sniffles as tears begin to cloud her vision. “It hurts so fucking bad, and I don’t know what to do.”

“It isn’t me you need then, babe.” Trini whispers as she presses a kiss to Kimberly’s head and begins to untangle herself. “Stay here.”

Kimberly already knows her Trini is going, and she isn’t surprised when a small frame wraps itself around her minutes later. Finally, Kimberly breaks. She turns in Rachel’s arms and allows her sobs to soak her sister’s chest, and Rachel simply clings to her; the pain radiates through her and she wants so badly for it to go away.

“You may not be hers,” Rachel whispers into her ear as she squeezes Kimberly tightly. “But you’re mine.”

And, to Kimberly, that’s more than enough.

#glee #power rangers #trimberly #faberry #kimberly hart #rachel berry #santana lopez #trini gomez #social media au

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh / i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''broken'' by seether (ft. amy lee)

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neighbourskid · 4 years ago

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2020

What a year, huh? Surely not anything anyone has expected to happen when we woke up on this day a year ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m not even sure, now, where to begin to sum up this year like I’ve done years prior. But then again... I may just as well just dive right into all the media I consumed this year, as I have done every year. I haven’t kept track as detailed as I have last year, but my year was definitely punctuated by pieces of entertainment that have come into my life.

Continuing on from 2019, my obsession with Good Omens was still going strong. Which was ideal, since I was gonna spend the first half of the year writing my Bachelor thesis on it. The intensity of the obsession may have waned a bit since, but I still love that show and book dearly and hold it close to my heart, and I don’t think that will ever stop. But while Good Omens was certainly an overall theme throughout my year, there were some other things that actually stood out.

With January came new episodes of Doctor Who, and having returned to that particular bandwagon the year prior, I was all about that. Jodie’s second season finally brought what I had longed for in her first--a darker kind of Doctor. She wasn’t quite as bubbly anymore, you could finally see some of the depths in the character that I loved so in the previous regenerations, which made me love Peter’s Doctor so incredibly much. In this season, I felt, Jodie was finally becoming the Doctor. Overall, that season catered to me personally every single episode. So many of the time periods they visited were of people I loved, and the introduction of Sacha Dhawan as the Master was absolutely....well, masterful. Sacha is brilliant in that role and I am utterly stunned by his talent. Although both John Simm and Michelle Gomez brought things to the Master that I liked, it’s Sacha’s completely unhinged take on it that made me finally like the character. He’s a madman and I love it.

The next major thing was The Good Place. I tend to have a talent of getting into shows just as they either ended their entire show, or the final season is just coming up. It’s happened quite a bit, and it was the same with this. I finally binged the show early in January and it would end its final season at the end of the month. True to form, I was completely obsessed with it for about a month, before I only occasionally thought about it again. But, thinking back now, I get this incredibly fond feeling for this show, and I remember that the finale absolutely wrecked me and I basically ugly sobbed through the entirety of it. Also very true to form, actually. I want to rewatch it again some time, but honestly preferably with someone who has never seen it before. Which, obviously, is a difficult thing to do given, well, everything.

Next up is something that surprised me a lot. In the middle of having to write my BA thesis, my procrastination thought it would be a great idea to rewatch and catch up on the entirety of Criminal Minds. And so I binged 15 seasons of that instead of writing my thesis. Which, coincidentally, had also just aired its final season not long before I started my binge in March. Rewatching this, I realised just how little I took in of the actual, like, stuff in the show when I first watched it as a teen. Although I mostly cared about the characters and their found family this time around--although I do find the cases really fascinating most of the time too--I noticed just how much I am not watching this for the fact that they are in the FBI. I was hyperaware of how often they shot at people before doing anything else, how many of the suspects died before ever being questioned or being brought in, and it made my skin crawl. I am aware how fucked up the criminal justice system is, and especially in the US, how the police functions and how incredibly glorified they are in the media. But rewatching this show, I realised how little I actually paid attention to anything when I was younger. Big yikes. Still, I remembered my love for these characters, and I really enjoyed that rewatch a whole lot. Found family will always get to me.

Once I finished writing my thesis and handed it in early in July, I then found my next momentary obsession: Community. The show had finally come to Netflix earlier in the year and a friend of mine had watched it then. I remember watching that pilot episode back then and being completely uninterested in watching it. The comedy felt like it wasn’t quite up my street, the characters were entirely unlikeable, and I especially disliked Jeff who the show was more or less centred around. I binged Criminal Minds instead, but then decided to give it another try. And, well, I watched it twice through without taking a break to watch something else in-between. Ironically, and maybe actually unsurprisingly, Jeff ended up being my favourite and I found myself relating a lot to him and his arc throughout the series. I even found myself writing some short ficlet-like things in the notes app on my phone. I made an attempt at starting a third watch, but I guess then the month was up, and my brain decided it was time for something else. My hyperfixations usually tend to die out after about a month. Which is why my complete devotion to Good Omens was a pleasant surprise. I did, however, end up watching quite a bit of Joel McHale and Ken Jeong’s The Darkest Timeline podcast throughout August.

Early in September, while already preparing for the new term at uni, and my first semester in my Master’s studies, I then turned to New Girl. Friends of mine had seen it and recommended it, and I remember watching probably the entire first season on TV while I was in San Diego the first time around back in 2016. Or at least I think it was the entire first season. Either way, I binged that whole thing, realised through Nick Miller that the go-to character I am drawn to and tend to project on in any piece of media is usually what I like to call “the garbage man,” which Nick is a prime example of. And although I spent a month watching the show in-between starting university again and volunteering at a film festival, I didn’t spend much time afterward thinking about it and moved on to other things rather quickly. I enjoyed watching it, that much I remember, and I’m pretty sure I cried at the finale because it was done wonderfully, but seeing as another month was up, my brain was probably like “okay fine that’s enough”.

I then spent most of fall and early winter watching every single bad Christmas movie available on Netflix, which was quite fun. In that moment of festivity, I also watched a movie I found absolutely brilliant and fell in love with immediately. It’s a beautiful movie called Jingle Jangle, it has a magnificent soundtrack and is absolutely incredible. I had no idea Forest Whitaker could sing and he completely blew me away. If you haven’t seen it already, I highly recommend it. It doesn’t matter that Christmas is already over, it’s beautiful either way.

By the time December finally rolled around, I was already over the whole Christmas thing, to be honest and I turned away from festive movies or shows, and eventually ended up finally picking up a gem I had heard much about and had been meaning to watch for a while. A show which, as it were, also aired its final season earlier this year. This little show is Schitt’s Creek. I will be going on about what this show means to me probably in another post at length, but for now just let me say: if you haven’t seen it, find some place to watch it, and put this beautiful show in your eyeballs. I am on my second run through already (although I’ve seen the second half of the show a second time already while watching it with a friend on their first run through), and it brings me so much fucking joy. It’s a gift, this show. And it will likely stay with me for a very, very long time.

That’s about it for the big things. I also watched a whole lot of other stuff, including entirely new things, or just newly released seasons of things I was already watching. Here’s what I can remember off the top of my head:

Charlie’s Angels (2020). The Night Manager. The Witcher. Dolittle (2020). The Librarians (rewatch). Harley Quinn (2020). Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The Chef Show (S1 part 3, S2 part 1). Avenue 5. Money Heist (part 4). The Good Fight (S4). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S7). DuckTales (2017 reboot). Frankenstein live. Staged (2020). Hamilton. Sense8. Julie and the Phantoms. The Boys in the Band. One Night in Miami. Enola Holmes. Supernova. His Dark Materials (S2). Happiest Season. The Great Canadian Baking Show.

I also got some reading done in-between what I had to read for my thesis in spring, and then for regular university courses in fall. Here’s some of what I can remember:

Anthony Horowitz, The House of Silk. Ramona Meisel, Sunblind. Donna Tartt, The Secret History. Good Omens novel and script book. Matt Forbeck, Leverage: The Con Job. Keith R.A. Decandido, Leverage: The Zoo Job. Greg Cox, Leverage: The Bestseller Job. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Lost Lamp. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Mother Goose Chase. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Pot of Gold. Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602. Christina Henry, The Lost Boy. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology. John Green, An Abundance of Katherines. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh. Maria Konnikova, The Confidence Game.

Having mulled over all this entertainment I consumed in 2020, there are also some non-tv or book things I need to point out. As many, many other people around the globe, I have also spent a large amount of time this year on my Nintendo Switch, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It is a game I have waited for since the Switch was first announced, and I fell in love with it from the moment the first trailer dropped. It has brought me great joy in this weird fucking year, and I have more or less consistently played it since it came out in March. I ended this year with the in-game New Year’s Eve celebration and I feel like that summed up this year quite neatly and appropriately.

This year also brought with it another game very close to my heart: Super Mario Sunshine. With their release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars in September, Nintendo finally brought my all-time favourite Mario game to my all-time favourite console, and I played the entire game through in the first week of owning it, in-between university courses and volunteering at the film festival. Also contained in that package was Super Mario Galaxy which I have also played through in its entirety since. All that’s left for me now is Super Mario 64, which I am excited to play through in the coming year.

And to round off my year of entertainment, there are two more things I would like to mention. First, David Tennant Does A Podcast With..., which released its second season this summer. It is one of the only, if not the only podcast I keep up to date with and listen to immediately whenever a new episode drops. I’ve loved the first season dearly, and David came back with some incredibly fantastic guests for the second season as well. I can’t wait for what the podcast will bring in the future, but I will wait patiently until it is time. I can highly recommend it for everyone who likes interesting conversations between lovely people who clearly adore each other a whole lot.

And finally, while this year brought a whole lot of bullshit with it, it also gave me something I never thought possible and did not even dare to imagine in my wildest dreams. My all-time favourite show announced that it would be rebooted with the same main cast (minus one), a new wonderful member, and involvement of the original creators, and even started filming already in summer. Leverage is coming back. I still cannot believe it. I hoped for a movie, always. That maybe one day, they might bring the gang back together, for one last job, just one more encore. But to get a whole new tv-show with Aldis, Christian, Gina and Beth returning? With the addition of Noah Wyle? I can’t wrap my head around it. I am so excited for this. I predict that I will ugly sob through the entirety of the pilot episode, if not the first season, and will have to rewatch every episode because of it, but I have no doubt that it will be brilliant and wonderful.

True to form, I have now gone on about tv shows and movies for far too long, and haven’t really said anything about this year at all. 2020 was fucking weird. And I don’t think 2021 will be much different quite yet. I wrote an entire BA thesis in 2020. I successfully finished by Bachelor’s degree and started my Master’s studies and even got some excellent first grades in as well. I was lucky enough to be able to see some friends and family throughout the year, and even celebrate my birthday with a small circle of friends. I’ve become closer with friends, shared experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and, I think, maybe also grown a bit as a person.

I started this year excited to finally be able to start taking testosterone in February, and to finish the first part of my studies by summer. Although I did both of these things, they didn’t happen quite how I imagined them, but I am glad that I could do these things nevertheless.

2020 was a hell year, for sure. But there were some moments in there that I wouldn’t want to lose.

I’ve tried very hard to not be optimistic about this upcoming year, and rather take a more realistic, even pessimistic approach. But I can’t help but be hopeful. Hopeful that this year will be kind to us, and if it isn’t, that at least, we’ll be kind to ourselves and each other. It won’t be easy, and not much will change, I think. But we have to approach the coming time with kindness and compassion. That’s where I’m at currently. And I think that’s all for now.

Be well, friends, and take care.

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gustafsnightangel · 4 years ago

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Shattered Lives Ch 27 Pt 2

He helped her to stand and gazed up at her, drinking in those curves he would erotically destroy later. Standing he and pulled on his sweats. Drawing her robe about her shoulders he kissed her tenderly.

They sat for another cup of tea, talked about the school holidays over Christmas, her own time off, and that they’d be able to spend a decent amount of time together as a family, as a couple.

“You’re still apprehensive about it all? Christmas the new year?” He asked gently.

“Yes, but at least after meeting Bill, and the boys spending time with him this weekend it’s made it a little easier.” She said clearing the table. “They’ll have a face they know. Someone they can stick with while they get to know everyone else.”

“That’s what I was hoping for.” He said gently as he started drying the dishes as she washed them.

“Thank you.” She said quietly. “I don’t say that to you enough.” She added.

His lips found the nape of her neck in a sweet kiss before he continued drying the plate, a quick smile ghosted his lips at the shiver that ran across her body.

“I’ll do whatever I can to ease them into it love, you as well.” He said as he put away the clean dishes.

“I know, but I never want you to think that it’s not appreciated, that it’s taken for granted because it isn’t. I cry sometimes at the sweet things you do for us.” She murmured and pulled the plug, rinsing the sink as it drained, her voice catching. “The way you just know what we need.” He dried her hands and pulled her close. “Just like that.” Her mumble into his chest was followed by a sigh, her body going lax.

“I do it because I want to. It makes me happy when I see you and the kids smile. Relieved at the way your shoulders relax when it’s one less thing for you to worry about.” He kissed her softly. “Together love, you’re not alone anymore.”

She smiled at him, that smile she kept only for him. “Don’t ever change.” She said sweetly.

“Same goes.” He said and pressed her gently against the counter kissing her tenderly.

“We still have a tree to put up too.” She said softly, her finger playing with his scruff.

“When do you usually put it up?”

“After our birthday. My parents always separated our birthday and Christmas seeing as though we’re so close together.” She was apprehensive about it, the fidgeting fingers a dead giveaway, he thought.

“How about we do it on your birthday? I can set up the tree Tuesday while you’re at work and we can decorate it Wednesday?” That way it’s not dragging your grief out over multiple days, he thought silently.

She took a steadying breath. “Sure.” She wasn’t sure, if she had it her way the damn thing wouldn’t go up at all. It was a stark reminder of another year whizzing past, another year without Quinn, another year where her life had fallen to pieces. But she’d do it for the kids because they needed it, they needed normal, and fun, and excitement. They needed a childhood, and she’d fight for it to be as normal as possible even when she felt so bleak and beaten down about it.

“You’re not sure though.” He murmured pulling her closer.

“No, but it’s fine, the kids need it.” She said quickly, the slight shrug telling him it was anything but fine.

“And what do you need love?” He asked quietly, he’d give her anything, do anything to get her through it.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear it. “I don’t know what I need anymore.” It was the truth, she didn’t know.

“My lovely lady.” He murmured and enveloped her with that massive frame. Drawing her into him he felt her hold on tight like she was lost at sea clinging to a life raft. He felt her silent tears fall as he gently tangled his fingers in her hair, playing with it so it soothed, the soft caress of her scalp.

She breathed him in, that comfort of home, of him. “Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning, that I’m failing them.” She said, her voice shaky. “Failing Quinn.” He held her, determined not to push, just giving her safety and space to talk when she was comfortable.

“Giving up would have been failing them.” His fingers brushed the back of her neck as he rested his head against hers. “But you haven’t failed them or your brother. You dropped everything and took on four kids when they needed you. You fight for them, you care for them, you love them. That’s not failing anyone love.”

He gently kissed her brow. “You give so much of yourself without asking for anything in return. You’re not failing them love, you’re raising them, you’re being a parent.”

She needed to hear it, know how important she was to the kids. He could see it eating away at her slowly, the pressure, the stress, the responsibility that was heaped on her plate so suddenly.

“Will you help me?” She asked quietly, that usually steady, confident voice, meek and uncertain.

“Raise them?” He he asked gently. He looked at her, a little shocked but his heart leapt.

She nodded and the silent sob hitched her breath at his reaction. “I can’t do it on my own anymore.” And that was the absolute heart breaking truth, she thought. She couldn’t continue to raise them on her own, be a parent on her own, a year had felt like a decade and the stress was consuming her. She felt as if every day drowned her a little more, between work and the kids, the guilt, the grief, it was sucking out her soul.

He had been right, all the things he’d said to her Tuesday when the car had died. She could and would keep doing it on her own for those kids but she didn’t need to. She had someone she trusted, she loved, and knew he would fight and protect the kids as vehemently as she would. She just had to ask, so she had, even though it tore her up, made her feel so inadequate, she’d asked.

“Look at me.” He whispered and hooked a finger under her chin gently raising her head until her gaze found his. So conflicted, he thought, this went against everything she was yet she’d asked him for help.

“I need help.” The sobs threatened to tear her apart. “I can’t do this on my own.” The desperate plea in her voice slightly panicked.

“I’ll help love.” He said gently. “Hey, I’ll help.” He kissed her tenderly and held her as she wept, his soft murmur over and over soothing her.

“I can’t do this without you.” Her voice was so quiet and emotional his heart broke.

“You and me, together. I’ll help Sildie.” He murmured and held her close. “I’ll help.”

Maybe it was the grief, maybe the events from this week with the car, maybe the argument on Tuesday, she didn’t know. All she knew is that she was fooling herself if she thought she could juggle it all without something giving. It also hammered the point home that if something happened to her, the kids were screwed, they’d have no one. She couldn’t continue along the current path and potentially set them up for more grief, more heartbreak. They didn’t deserve it.

She felt overwhelmed every day when she stepped out of her apartment as if the world was pulling her under. It hit her harder when Gustaf was away. The suddenness of being just the five of them again had highlighted just how much she relied on him for emotional support as well as what he did with the kids to help out.

“They need you too.” She mumbled between soft sobs, and his arms tightened around her.

“I know love. I’ll help.” He soothed.

He could feel the stress uncoil from inside her, the relief knowing she had someone in her corner, someone to lean on. He’d wanted to be that for her for months now, for her to trust him enough to help more than what he’d been doing. It was difficult for her to ask for help when she’d grown up with none, except from her brother. Harder now that he was gone. Maybe his family could be that for her eventually as well, he thought.

“You ok?” He asked gently as she wiped her eyes, the sobs almost spent.

“Sorry.” She sniffed. “I’ve gone and ruined another one of your getaways.” She scoffed at herself harshly.

“No apologies remember? And you haven’t ruined anything. I have you here with me, almost naked, nothing ruined about that.” His smile had hers tugging the corners of her mouth. “Together love, you and me.”

“Thank you. I know this changes everything but...”

“It changes nothing love.” He said honestly. “They’re still your kids and you’re still the boss.”

“I’d like you to be the boss sometimes too.” Her murmur making him smile.

“We’ll talk first though ok?” He smiled and kissed her sweetly. “Together?” And his heart lightened when she nodded and smiled. “I’ll help anyway I can love, however you want.” He kissed her, that deep loving kiss that made her toes curl. “You know, they got extremely lucky when they came to you.” He murmured kissing her again softly. “Extremely lucky.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so.” She sniffed. “Sometimes I wonder if they would have been better off...”

He kissed her, swallowing the rest of her sentence. “Don’t. Don’t do that.” He said sternly, her eyes snapping to his with such grief in them he wanted to swallow his tone, but she needed to hear it. “The the kids are where they need to be and who they need to be with. You.”

She sniffed and nodded. “Sometimes I wonder.”

“You can wonder and I’ll be here to remind you. They’re where they need to be love, with the one woman that would move the world for them.”

“How did we get so lucky?” She asked softly as her fingers trailed his jaw, her hand cupping his face as he closed his eyes and leaned into it. “To find you at our door when our world was falling apart.” Her kiss was soft. “You have such a beautiful soul love.”

“So do you, and I’ll spend every waking moment reminding you how beautiful you are. Inside and out.” His kiss was tender, that sweet love he had an abundance of shining through.

“Would you like some tea?”

“Tea would be good now I’ve blubbered all over you.” She snorted. “Again.”

“I think I blubbered more last night.” He countered and squeezed her.

“We ok?” She asked gently.

“I think we’re better now than when we walked in here yesterday.” He smiled. “More than ok love.”

Her nod and smile set him at ease as he released her to start making tea. She walked to the bathroom and shut the door quietly breathing out. Lighter was all she could feel, he’d lifted that pressing weight clean off, much like he’d done for Brendan.

He felt her arms wrap around him, her forehead rest between his shoulder blades, her usual position when she needed to ground herself. “You ok love?” He asked in that low tone he knew calmed her.

She didn’t answer, just nodded her head quickly. Not all the way yet, he thought, but she would be. He let it be for the moment while he made tea, her body moving with his as she stayed where she was.

She felt like a fool for being so desperate for help. It never sat well with her burdening others with her personal shit and the last thing she wanted for to make him feel as if she was taking advantage of him. She breathed him in, that familiar scent calming her.

“Thank you.” She said softly, breathing out the remaining stress.

“Anytime love.” He murmured, placing a hand over hers and squeezing. “Go sit on the window seat in the bedroom I’ll bring this in.” He said turning in her arms to kiss her temple.

He stoked the fire in the living room and put on some soft jazz. After tending to the fire in the bedroom he placed the tea on the window seat before snuggling in behind her. She sat hair brush in hand, teasing the tangled mess from the ends of her hair. Her gaze out the window not focused on anything in particular, lost in thought.

Pulling her closer he took the brush from her and kissed her cheek at the shocked response as she turned to look at him quite perplexed.

“What?” He asked, that grin she loved spreading across his face.

“Nothing.” She said, snapping her mouth shut and shaking her head. She wouldn’t deny him anything that made him happy, to see that joy burst from him as it did just now. She’d give everything she was to see that happiness more often, carefree and comfortable.

He kissed her neck, the seductive touch making her shiver. She couldn’t stop the soft moan as he brushed her hair with such tenderness she melted. Her pussy clenched as his fingers caressed her neck sending little shocks through her system. As he continued to drag the brush through her hair the occasional kiss made goose flesh prickle her skin.

It felt like silk as he brushed it and let it fall through his fingers to savor it. She leaned into every stroke of brush and fingers, the sensual touch that promised so much. Not just of sex, but the care and kindness that he gave to her without question, without reservation.

She relaxed back against his chest when he stopped, a kiss to her head, his arms wrapping around her. He breathed her in, her scent wrapping around him. The kiss to the pulse on her neck had her moaning loudly.

“I can’t function when you kiss me there.” She sighed as he sucked gently.

“I know, but you don’t need to function.” He smiled and kissed her again in the same spot. “Drink your tea.” He chuckled.

The snow had stopped, the storm cleared, and the blanket of stars sparkled overhead. They sipped tea in a tangle of limbs, fingers lazily arousing, lips stealing the occasional kiss.

“That’s something I haven’t seen in a while.” Gustaf said gazing out the window.

“What’s that?”

“Northern lights.” He said and pointed out toward the frozen lake. She rested her head against his chest and looked at where the streaks of green and purple faintly painted the sky.

“I’d forgotten how beautiful they are.” She said wistfully, thoughts of her brother flittering into her mind. His arms tightened around her as he felt the grief suddenly surge forward.

“You used to watch them together.” He stated more than asked and her slight nod confirmed it.

“Before Mum and dad passed we would go camping in the woods in a tiny cabin, but not as fancy as this one. We’d sneak out in the freezing cold and snow...” She smiled chuckling at the memory and how stupid they had been. “...and sit there huddled together shivering our asses off watching the lights dance across the sky.”

He kissed her head softly. “That sounds like something me and my brothers would do.” He murmured into her hair.

“I miss him.” She said simply. There were no tears, just a statement that needed to be voiced.

“I know you do love.” He said gently and kissed her temple. He would deal with the grief if it came. The fact she was talking about him freely without bursting into tears was progress, even if he could feel her body brace for the emotion that no doubt welled up within her.

They sat in a tangle of limbs, nestled together watching the night sky dance. With her head cradled against his massive chest, his arm supporting her spine she looked up at him, that handsome face lost in thought. “Gustaf?”

“Mmm.” His reply was half in this world half in another.

“Would you come and dance with me naked under the stars?” She asked softly and kissed him sensually as his brain came back from wherever it had drifted off to.

He helped her to stand, the smooth jazz drifting into the room. They undressed each other, unhurried, soothing, arousing.There was so much tenderness between them tonight, a quenching balm for both their ragged souls.

“Romancing me?” He smiled as he took her hand.

“Trying.” Her smile was shy as he swept her up in his arms and spun her around pressed tightly against him. She wasn’t very good with the whole romance thing but she was trying so hard for him.

“It’s working.” He whispered and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Good to know.” She breathed him in, his scent soothing all her anxiety and grief away.

He calmed his mind as they swayed. Let her scent soothe him, his arms wrapped around the woman he loved. With a slower song crooning in the back ground, the fire dancing with them in the hearth, he breathed out.

“I love you, Sildie.” He murmured as they swayed cheek to cheek. He held his breath as she lifted her head to look at him, his heart hammering in his chest as those glacial blue pools gazed into his soul. This was it, do or die trying, because the rejection, if it came, would destroy him. He kissed her fingers tenderly. “With everything that I am, everything that I have.” His voice choked with emotion. “I’m in love with you.” His eyes searched hers. “You’re it for me.”

That smile faltered as her fingers caressed his cheek and he knew he’d blown it. The look of surprise turning to that soft smile that was unreadable, he felt the rejection was imminent.

“I’m sorry.” He said choking down a sob that wanted to tear him apart. “It was to soon, I’m sorry.” You fucking idiot, he cursed. You pushed her too far after an emotionally taxing week and the beginning of another brutal one in the week to follow, how fucking stupid are you, he raged mentally? “I’m sorry, I...” Flustered he started to pull away from her thinking he’d completely blown it, but she held him to her firmly.

Her kiss was tender, that deep love she had for him welling up and consuming them both, the tears streaking down her cheeks.

“Sweet man, I know you do.” She said softly, her hand cupping his cheek, her thumb caressing his crows feet as his eyes closed and he quietly sighed with overwhelming relief. “I feel it everyday.” She said quietly as his eyes found hers intently. “It comes from in here.” Her hand drifted to rest over his heart. “It’s not just with words it’s every action, every kiss, every smile. Every time you look at me.” Her hand toyed with his scruff as those Nordic blue eyes sparkled, the love for her in them shining brightly. “Just like that.” She smiled, the one she only kept for him and it teased the slightest smile from his lips. “Like I’m the only woman in the world.”

“You are for me.” His voice was calmer as he rested his forehead against hers. He relaxed his shoulders, easing the tension from them carefully, slowly. “You’re the only woman I want.” He breathed and kissed her sweetly with that undercurrent of deep soul healing love.

“I feel it every second of everyday.” She watched him, she’d seen the flash of fear in him, those thoughts of rejection flood into that broken soul. “Would you say it again?” She asked gently, wanting nothing more than to hear it tumble from his lips again.

“I love you.” He breathed, without hesitation, without restriction, his eyes not leaving hers.

“I love you too.” She murmured, the remaining anxiety melting off him. “You are my everything Gustaf.” She said gently, her voice shaking with emotion. “And you’re it for me too.” It was the truth, if she lost him it would destroy her, the kids, everything. “You’re the only one I want.”

His hand cupped her behind the neck and his mouth crashed against hers kissing her hard. Relief and love poured out of him, his own eyes shimmering with tears. “I’ve wanted to say that to you for a long time.” He breathed. “Since the day in the snow with the kids.” His fingers toyed with the wave of hair at her ear before tangling his fingers in it kissing her again. So that’s what had set him off, she thought, oh sweet man you are such a kind loving soul.

“We weren’t ready then love.” She smiled gently, her fingers brushing his scruff.

“No, we weren’t.” He rested his forehead against hers and swayed with her. “I was worried we might not be ready for it now either.” He said wryly with a chuckle.

He danced with her, cheek against cheek, the soft jazz soothing them both. “I’m so in love with you Sildie.” His words wound their way around her heart as he kissed her, losing herself to him.

She felt the love uncoil from its slumber within the depths of his soul. He was so tender, so giving, every touch, every kiss echoing his words. He loved her, he wanted her, he needed her, and with those three little words he’d given every piece of himself to her. How did she deserve such a beautiful soul like him, she wondered?

“I’ve been in love with you since our first tea date.” He whispered and kissed her temple as fingers drew lazy patterns on the strip of skin that peeked out from the collar of her robe. “You were still all lawyered up.” He growled. “All flustered when you get nervous. Looking as beautiful as ever.” His eyes searched hers before he kissed her tenderly. “And as I stood there on your threshold every night after that, I realized I wanted you, to be yours. To be with you, the kids, as a family, I want all of it with you.”

She let him talk knowing he needed to process it and the scars that Ana had left behind, he was still a little gunshy. Her thumb brushed the deep laugh lines at his eyes, she was so in love with him too. Her kiss was gentle, that unbound love she freely gave him, the one that calmed his soul. “And I’m rambling.” He scoffed and the chuckle that leaked out was one of relief and joy. “Sorry.”

“You’re healing and I think the no apology clause for this weekend stretches to cover you as well.” She kissed him again, moaning as he deepened it. “You’re enough for me. You’ve always been enough for me.” Her kiss left him breathless and she smiled when he looked at her a little dumbstruck. “I love you Gustaf. I just want you. It’s always been you.”

They danced and swayed, the odd stolen kiss giving way to an arousing touch. He’d show her that love, the tenderness, the pleasure. Standing on the rug in front of the fire they let the music and the moment lead them.

He watched the firelight flicker across her body as tender fingers caressed her shoulders. His goddess burning brightly, her halo of molten copper aflame. He sank to his knees, kissing every inch of her as he lowered himself.

He pressed his face to her belly and breathed her in, his hands stroking up the backs of her thighs to rest at the swell of her ass. Kissing her he groaned softly as her hand caressed his scalp and rested against his face. Looking up he nuzzled her hand, that soft smile tugging her lips, her eyes full of love and a good measure of lust.

He stayed on his knees and worshipped his goddess, the sensual kisses to those curves he adored, the tender touch as his finger aroused her, the taste of her as his tongue slipped over her heat. He sat and stretched his legs out in front of him. Gently tugging her hand she lowered to straddle him, his hands guiding her body to nestle against his, she’d always been a perfect fit. Looking at those eyes he adored he kissed her, that slow burn causing her to moan. With a hand on each ass cheek he pulled her to him, both gasping at the contact. A hand supported her lower back as he nudged her to lean back into it, kissing a path down her throat.

Those hands stoked the fire within her, the embers roaring to life. She gave herself over to him as a hand cupped her breast, teeth and tongue gently teasing a nipple to a hard peak. As he devoured each breast in turn he rocked his hips, his manhood sliding between her folds, hot and wet.

He feasted, the soft moans as he aroused her urging him to take more. Reaching between their bodies he circled her clit before resting his engorged cock at her entrance. With a gentle thrust he pulled her onto him slowly, savoring her soft cry. He sucked on the pulse at her throat, relishing in the feel of her as her body trembled for him.

There was no rush as he kissed her, touched her, the intimacy between the more important than the act itself.

“I love you Sildie.” He murmured, that low timbre making her tremble. “My Sildie.” He sighed. “My goddess.” His tenderness overwhelmed her, the man had given her his heart and soul. It was hers to keep, to cherish, to protect.

He slowly built her climax, each tender kiss, seductive touch, pushing her further and further to the edge. She rocked against him their rhythm slow and erotic as he felt the familiar flutter from deep within her.

“Gustaf.” Her cry was one of warning and desperation.

He kept the same devastating pace and watched her body tense before it writhed against him as she came, those slender fingers grasping at his neck and shoulder. She pulled herself upright as her next peaked quickly, wanting to feel the friction of his body move against hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard not able to put into words the euphoria she was feeling.

“Go over love, don’t hold it back.” He murmured and held her hips tighter to him.

“Gustaf.” She gasped as he ground against her clit, fireworks going off in her brain at the contact. She couldn’t stop it, let alone hold it back, even if she wanted to. Her kiss was fierce as she came, the cry of ecstasy into his mouth as he held her to him. Her pussy gripped him tight and the groan made her smile against his lips.

“Come with me.” She whimpered as they took each other, both riding that edge together. He devoured her mouth as she came again, swallowing her cry, his own groan escaping as her pussy clenched him breaking his last thread of control. He came hard, filling her with his seed, the throb of his cock pulsing inside her. Riding them down from the high he kissed her tenderly, his huge hands cupping her face, holding her to him to savor every last kiss. She rested her head on his shoulder while they forced oxygen back into their lungs.

Sitting wrapped in each other, the jazz drifted around the cabin as the fire lazily danced in the hearth. She looked out the window to see the stars twinkling through the soft colors of the northern lights. “I’m so in love with you.” She said softly. His kiss to her forehead lingered and she felt his smile.

“I love you too.” His grin wide.

“I could stay right here forever.” She sighed. She was all warm and soft and comfortable, contentment. Those strong arms wrapped around her, it was another layer that helped her relax, security and protection.

“I’m in no hurry to go anywhere.” He murmured, kissing her temple. This incredible woman naked in his lap, loved him, he felt like a new man.

She giggled as he leaned back and they went crashing to the floor. Fully stretched out in front of the fire, naked, with his goddess curled up on his chest still straddling him, he felt more relaxed and at ease than he had in years. She hummed as his fingers lightly trailed her spine and over her back in unhurried patterns.

“You keep doing that and I’m going to fall asleep.” She mumbled, already drifting after the heat of the fire and the sex. Her whine when he stopped made him chuckle.

“My ass will fall asleep if we stay here too much longer. The rug feels great, the hard floor not so much.” He sat, with more difficulty because gravity and a woman in his arms. “Hop into bed love.” He murmured.

He steadied her as she stood, her legs stiff from the position. She’d had every intention of rocking his world tonight but that would have to wait because sleep was almost upon her. She came back from the bathroom and snuggled into bed, the night sky with its painted streaks and glittering stars soothing her. Drifting she felt the mattress sag and that familiar body press against her.

“Gustaf?” She slurred.

“I’m here love.” His arms cocooned her in, his soothing touch helping sleep pull her under.

“I love you.” Her mumble was barely coherent before she fell and fell hard.

“I love you too. Sleep now.” He kissed her neck and breathed her in, he was emotionally exhausted, but it was worth it. Everything about this weekend had been worth it.

His thoughts drifted. Their entire relationship had shifted with her reaching out for help, for support, for him. It had evolved into something much deeper. He smiled to himself, she was an enigma, a woman so independent, career driven, and stubborn, yet so soft and loving. He looked at her sleeping form cradled in his arms and smiled, so beautiful and she loved him.

With a head full of happy thoughts he watched the night sky and drifted, sleep claimed him soon after, the two of them spooned together.

****************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector

#shattered lives #gustaf skarsgard fanfiction

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shyvioletcat · 5 years ago

Note

yknow that sad fic you wrote where aelin died in labour? could you maybe write one where rhoe and evalin survive and get to meet aelin and rowan's daughter? (like for the first time)

Let me tell you what happened. I was reading flashback scenes in Heir of Fire and I was like “damn i really want to write a fic about Evalin and Rhoe now”. Then I open tumblr and guess what appears in my ask box. I don’t know how you managed to read my mind anon, but you did. Then I got super carried away and this got long. Like 1300 words long.

~~~~~

Evalin had been reading in the Royal private rooms when Marion Lochan burst in with a letter in her hand.

“This just came from the cottage,” she said a little breathlessly as she rushed forward.

Evalin tried not to snatch it from Marion’s hand, but she couldn’t help it, her friend didn’t seem to mind, though. Evalin could feel Marion’s eyes on her as she read the note. Very short. Two sentences. The Queen of Terrasen gasped then handed the letter back to Marion before she was running from the room.

She knew Rhoe was in a meeting, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about the curious glances from the servants who were milling about the palace, or the slightly alarmed ones from the guards as they rushed to open the door of the council room before she hit them. Inside all those around the table stood as she entered, murmuring Majesty as they did. All except King Rhoe Galathynius. He remained seated, watching his wife intently.

“Ev, what is it?” He asked.

“Aelin’s gone into labour,” Evalin said, breathing hard.

Rhoe blinked once then he was up, standing so fast his chair fell to the floor. “If you will excuse us.”

Rhoe took Evalin by the hand and started to lead the to their private rooms but she tugged him towards where they would meet their carriage.

“Marion knows. She would have seen to getting our departure ready,” Evalin explained.

“She’s a good woman,” Rhoe said quietly. Evalin gave him a nervous smile and Rhoe squeezed her hand.

As they excited the palace it was apparent that Marion had indeed taken the initiative and the carriage was moments from being ready to leave. At the bottom of the stairs Marion pulled Evalin into an embrace.

“Aelin is strong, Evalin,” Marion whispered. “It will all be well.”

Evalin wanted to say something, anything. But she couldn’t, her throat was too tight. Marion stepped back and pushed something into Evalin’s trembling hands.

“For the baby,” Marion said an then she was pulling Rhoe into a brief embrace as well. “Travel safe.”

“Thank you, Marion,” Rhoe said and Evalin knew it wasn’t just for his kind words. Marion gave him a tight smile in return.

Evalin turned to the carriage and Rhoe handed her up into it before stepping in behind her. Quinn rode past the window on his black horse. As Captain of the guard it was only natural that he would be escorting them. It only took a few breaths before the carriage was moving, the rattle of it and the clipping of the horses hooves the only sound. Evalin watched as Orynth passed by her window, some of the citizens waving or bowing as they went past. She sat back so they couldn’t see her face, the worry and fear she didn’t doubt was etched there.

Rhoe sensed her mood and laced his fingers with hers. It did nothing to quell her anxieties but it did bring her some comfort. About a month ago Aelin decided to leave Orynth with her mate, Aedion and a few select others for the remainder of her pregnancy. Court life was becoming more and more tedious and Aelin was about to start burning the hands of those who seemed to think her rounded stomach was an invitation for advice, stories or touching. Rowan had become a constant presence beside Aelin and his snarling face had kept people away. But then that had caused more issues, one of which was Aelin constantly snapping at him for his fussiness, so Aelin decided it would be best if they left court and stayed at the cottage by the borders of the Oakwald. It was only a few hours from Orynth and Aelin had promised to keep her mother informed and she was welcome to visit at any time. And Evalin had, almost once a week until now.

They exited the gates of the city and Evalin lifted a trembling to her face. Her own pregnancy with Aelin had been hard, in brutal honesty it had almost killed her. Rhoe had been the one to keep her tethered to this world, the one that willed the air back into her lungs. She worried for Aelin. That she had inherited too much of her fae blood, that she might...

“Rowan is with her. He will do everything he can for Aelin and the baby,” Rhoe said quietly. “Evalin, love, you need try and be calm. You’ll wear yourself out before we arrive.”

“I can’t.” It was those two word that shattered Evalin’s resolve. A shuddering sob escaped her lips and tears streamed from her eyes. Rhoe gathered her into his arms and kissed her head. He knew there were no words of comfort he could give his wife so he offered whatever else he could.

~~~~~

Evalin stayed in Rhoe’s arms for the rest of the journey, she only shifted a little when they passed through the high perimeter wall that encircled the cottage. The carriage had barely stopped before she was out of Rhoe’s arms completely and running through the ornate front garden and to the door. A primal scream echoed throughout the cottage as Evalin passed the threshold. Immediately she was rushing up the stairs to the second level where the bedrooms were. Aedion and Elide looked up at her arrival. Elide stood and curtsied while Aedion strode forward to embrace his Aunt.

“How is she?” Evalin asked, her voice wavering.

“She’s been going since early this morning,” Aedion explained as Rhoe joined them. “Rowan said Aelin’s doing fine. But it doesn’t... it doesn’t sound like it to me.”

Evalin would have laughed if she could. Aedion would never understand what it was to bring a child into the world, what it took, the sacrifice. Evalin’s eyes darted to the door at the end of the hallway, behind which was Aelin’s bedroom.

“She only wanted Rowan and the healer in there, no one else,” Aedion said quietly.

Evalin nodded her understanding. Aedion indicated to the seat he just vacated and Evalin took it. Elide gave her a small smile.

“Holy gods and rutting hells just get it out!”

Evalin looked at Rhoe who’s eyes were a little wide.

“That’s one of the tamer curses we’ve heard,” Elide said wryly.

Elide’s words were followed by a pained groan from beyond the door.

Rhoe shook his head. “I don’t think I can do this. Come out to the garden, Aedion?”

Aedion murmured his agreement and the men left down the stairs. Elide remained with the Queen as they waited. And waited. And waited. More curses and sounds of pain were heard through the door, each one like a knife to Evalin’s heart. But each one told her Aelin was alive. That she was breathing.

Aelin screamed again, and Evalin felt it shudder against her bones, it was raw and brutal and the beats of silence that followed seemed to drag on for millennia. Then there was a cry of a baby and Evalin was weeping. She may have been weeping for hours, she couldn’t remember. The baby continued to cry and it was one of the most beautiful sounds Evalin had ever heard.

“I’ll tell the others,” Elide said and she was gone.

Evalin remained sitting, watching the door intently. Willing it to open. Soon Rhoe, Aedion and Elide joined her again. Still they waited.

When the door finally did open Evalin was on her feet, her hand reaching for Rhoe’s. The healer was smiling as she closed the door behind her. Then she curtsied.

“They are both healthy and well, Majesties. The Princess has asked for a while longer before she receives visitors. Prince Rowan will tell you when they are ready.”

“Thank you,” Evalin said and the healer gave her a genuine smile before nodding her head and leaving.

“They’re alright Rhoe,” Evalin whispered as she lent into her husbands chest. “They’re alright.”

~~~~~

Evalin tried not to count the minutes until the door opened, but it was almost an hour later that Rowan emerged. His silver hair was a mess and he looked a bit haggard but his smile was bright and joyous.

“Aelin is asking for you,” Rowan said to both Evalin and Rhoe.

Evalin didn’t wait for anything more before she was moving forward. She paused in the doorway placing a hand on Rowan’s arm and he covered it with his own. But that was only for a lingering moment before she stepped into the room completely. Behind her she heard Rhoe and Rowan murmur a greeting and then sounds as if they hand embraced each other. But it was the sight in front of her that had tears welling in her eyes.

The room was set in a warm glow from the candles that were lit. Aelin sat propped up in bed, her face showing how utterly exhausted she was but she was smiling at her mother. The baby was bundled against her chest and Evalin could see a tiny fist poking out of the blankets latched onto Aelin’s finger. Evalin’s hand rested above her heart as the first tear rolled down her cheek. There was a quiet snuffling noise that has Aelin looking at the baby in her arms and her smile turned into a grin. Evalin stepped forward, far enough so she could see the baby’s face.

Such heartbreaking perfection in that tiny face.

Evalin’s sigh came out shuddering and Aelin looked up at her mother.

“Would you like to hold her?” Aelin’s voice was quiet and rough, proof her entire body still recovering.

Evalin nodded, words somewhere beyond her reach, and she leaned forward to take the baby from Aelin’s arms. The entirety of the world fell away as Evalin looked at her granddaughter. In that moment nothing else mattered except for the new life in her arms. She pressed a gentle kiss to the baby’s forehead, a tearful laugh followed.

“She’s so beautiful, Fireheart,” Evalin said. She was still looking at the baby, couldn’t take her eyes off her. “She’s perfect.”

Evalin sensed Rhoe come to stand beside her and she looked at him. There was a look of absolute wonder on his face. Evalin passed the baby into his arms and watched as tears unabashedly fell from his eyes. Evalin looked back to Aelin, silver now lining her eyes as she watched her father meet her daughter. Aelin turned away as Rowan joined her on the bed pressing a gentle kiss to his mate’s forehead.

“I never want to let her go,” Rhoe said quietly. But just then the baby started to squirm, followed by a whine that turned into a piercing cry. Rhoe looked shocked, as if after all these years he had forgotten that babies did that. “I stand corrected.”

Aelin laughed at him and reached out her arms to take the baby back. Rhoe passed the newborn back to her mother and after a few moments the room was quiet again. Evalin watched as Rowan draped an arm around Aelin, his other hand gently smoothing over his daughter’s head. She had not seen a more perfect sight in all her years.

~~~~~

Tags: @fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @galyxsy // @tangledraysofsunshine // @highqueenofelfhame // @3am-reading // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @aelinfire-bringer // @nalgenewhore // @highladyofthesith // @http-itsrebecca // @sleep-and-books // @average-girl-at-best // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @sleeping-and-books // @ttakeitbacknoww // @armixers-unite // @mariamuses // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @princess-galathynius // @heroesofterrasen // @ladyofstoriesandmusic // @empire-of-wildfire // @camerooonchiu // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows // @thesirenwashere // @tswaney17 // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @flowerspringsea // @chaoticskyy // @the-regal-warrior // @fanfictrash3000

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years ago

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Psycho Analysis: Roman Sionis

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Birds of Prey is a fun, silly movie. So you’d expect a fun, silly villain for such a film, right? Well, we sort of get that… but this is an R-rated fun, silly movie, so the villain is going to cuss a lot and peel people’s faces off and be a raging psychopathic manchild. Roman Sionis, everybody!

Good old Roman Sionis, known to comic fans as Black Mask (he isn’t ever called that by anyone except Harley during his introduction, and he doesn’t even wear his mask until the end), is just an absolute raging lunatic. He gets mad at the drop of a hat, is creepily posessive of Dinah Lance, has a very close relationship with his murderous second-in-command Zsasz, and is just generally unpleasant to every single person who crosses his path.

But that’s par for the course for Roman Sionis, who is never really EVER portrayed as a charming, likable guy. The real question here is, is he an entertaining villain? Well he’s played by Ewan McGregor, what do YOU think?

Motivation/Goals: Roman is a relatively simple villain, but I think this works in his favor. You see, a big issue with Harley’s previous outing, Suicide Squad, is that the mission was way too high stakes despite the cast featuring a group of people who didn’t really have any powers beyond “fighting really good.” or “has weapon skills.” You’re telling me you’re gonna put Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and Captain Boomerang up against Enchantress and her army of ancient Aztec super-zombies? WHAT? Here, we have a street-level threat much more suited to Harley’s capabilities: Roman is just a very powerful gangster, and his goal in this movie is the simple “get this diamond that was stolen back to me so I can make fat stacks of cash.” That’s really all their needs to be here, a simple MacGuffin to drive along the plot to its various setpieces.

Performance: I love Ewan McGregor, so, really, he didn’t have to do much with the role of Roman Sionis to make him great. Still, this man went above and beyond despite having comparatively little screentime to Harley. Roman seems incapable of going a single sentence without cursing up a storm and is the epitome of a psychopathic manchild, tormenting people for the slightest of reasons. He forces a woman to strip and dance on one of his tables because she was laughing too loud when he was upset, and decides not to spare a girl’s life because she had a gross snot bubble on her face from sobbing while he had his crony Zsasz peel off her parents’ faces. As funny and hammy as he gets, the dude is a stone-cold ruthless bastard who has no line he won’t cross to get what he wants.

Final Fate: Cass hides a grenade on him and steals the ring, and then Harley kicks him off the pier while he panics. Before he even hits the water, BOOM! Never would I have expected to laugh out loud at the sight of Ewan McGregor being blown into bits, but this movie was just full of surprises.

Best Scene: I think that the honor has to go to his establishing character moment with Zsasz, as they cut off the faces of a family who crossed Roman, and then when Roman decides to spare the daughter, he notices snot on her face, says “Ew” like a petulant child, and has Zsasz cut her face off anyway. It’s a great way to establish that Roman is an awful human being no matter how you slice it, and firmly establishes that while, yes, he is a misogynist villain in a female-led blockbuster, his misogyny is just a tiny facet of how unabashedly terrible Roman is.

Final Thoughts & Score: So, this is gonna sound weird, but… Roman kinda reminded me of Justin Hammer. Hammer is a villain who I have greatly warmed to over time (mostly thanks to Nando V Movies on YouTube), to the point where I think he’s actually pretty funny but is held back from true greatness by the sloppy nature of Iron Man 2. The film was big, bloated, and didn’t know what to do with itself. And this film is KIND OF like that… but it knows what to do with Roman.

The movie has an undercurrent of female empowerment, so why not make the villain emblematic of things women have to overcome? Roman is creepy, misogynistic, and even a bit racist especially with his condescending actions towards Dinah. And he even throws a fit when she “betrays” him and decides to murder her. But the movie is smart so as to not make this hamfisted; the movie makes it entirely clear that even if you take away his misogynistic elements, Roman Sionis is just an utterly disgusting human being. Everything about him is just so hilariously vulgar and repulsive, but the way he’s performed helps lighten it and help keep him within the tone of the movie. He’s just dark enough and just hammy enough to work.

My big issues with Roman are mostly due to his utilization and the wasted potential, which is a problem that really hits a lot of stuff in Birds of Prey. He is great every time he’s onscreen, but his screentime is fairly limited, and then he dies at the end which robs him of any chance of coming back in the future as an antagonist. He actually functions great as a more grounded threat rather than some larger-than-life end of the world threat, but the fact he dies horribly – before even having his mask burned onto his face, even! - just kind of feels like a waste of a character. To be fair, Black Mask is not the best or most interesting Batman villain crime lord; we have the Penguin for that. But when you cast someone like Ewan McGregor and he’s clearly having a blast, it’s hard not to feel at least slightly bitter when he gets hilariously gibbed at the end.

Still, I can’t let Justin Hammer’s sacrifice go in vain; he walked so Roman could run, and Roman ran so that perhaps someday Hammer could sprint. Roman gets a nice, fat 8/10, which he definitely earns with the heaping helpings of ham he brings to the table, though he is held back at least a little by the wasted potential of his character.

But hey, if you want to talk about wasted potential…

Psycho Analysis: Victor Zsasz

I really like Victor Zsasz in this film. I really do. The angle they went with, the implied homosexuality, the actor… it’s all good stuff that helps make a disturbing character like Zsasz easier to swallow. But he gets hit with wasted potential harder than even Roman does.

Motivation/Goals: He’s Roman’s right-hand man, so basically his motivation is to do whatever Roman wants him to do. However, there is a bit of an implied thing between his boss and him; Zsasz seems undeniably irritated with the attention he lavishes on Dinah, and is very hands-on and affectionate with his boss. A lot of his later actions in the film and his cruelty towards Dinah does seem to stem from some place of anger towards her for taking Roman’s attention away from him.

Performance: I have to say, Chris Messina does a stellar job at portraying Zsasz as creepy and obsessive, and certainly showcases the fanatical loyalty he has towards Roman, making him something of a dark mirror to Harley’s former relationship with the Joker. I also appreciate that, despite not going with Zsasz’s original psychotic serial killer angle, they still made him a bloodthirsty psycho with a sort of nihilistic edge to him. Frankly, this might be the best possible take on a live-action Zsasz without things getting intensely uncomfortable.

Final Fate: This is probably the worst element of Zsasz: his death. Right before the climax he gets shot out of the blue by Huntress and then Harley just repeatedly stabs him with the arrow. And I have to make it clear here – Zsasz barely got to do anything. He never really poses any sort of physical threats to the heroines, never gets into a fight, and is never mentioned again after his death despite being very close to Roman (to the point where the two may have been lovers).

Final Thoughts & Score: As far as henchmen go, Zsasz is pretty solid conceptually. He’s established early on as a psychopathic enforcer of Roman’s gang, he has an eerie air to him, and he has a lot of elements from the comics you rarely see on Zsasz in other media, such as being blonde. Messina does a fantastic job at making the character seem like a competent killer in the employ of Roman.

But the key word is “seem,” because Zsasz frankly never lives up to his hype. Despite being introduced peeling the faces off of a family, he is just never utilized to his fullest extent. He’s kind of just there in a lot of scenes, and while he isn’t unmemorable or anything he never really does anything that makes him into a worthwhile addition to the franchise. He’s honestly just a glorified mook with a few interesting gimmicks to help set him apart.

I’ve gotta give him a 6/10. While he’s definitely a step above average, he’s really not anything amazing, mostly because the movie refuses to allow him to reach his full potential. He doesn’t have any great quotes, his most memorable scene really serves more to establish Roman than anything, and he is dumped and quickly forgotten right before the climax. He would easily be a 7 or 8 if the story treated him with a little more weight or respect, but he just ends up underwhelming despite having so much going for him, and it’s frankly a bit depressing. It’s just a very sad state of affairs for the character, especially when he managed to be more intimidating in the Arkham games despite the fact that he posed even less of a physical threat than he does here.

Well, while we’re here, let’s go over THAT Zsasz briefly.

Portrayed in the games by Danny Jacobs (who you may know as Sacha Baron Cohen's stand in on The Penguins of Madagascar. Yes, Zsasz and King Julien had the same voice actor.), Zsasz is never really a major antagonist and is, in all honesty, a pretty weak fighter; you can always take him down in one punch. The thing with Zsasz in the games, though, is that it’s always tricky to get to him, because he usually has hostages of some kind. In Arkham Asylum, he appears twice, and you need to use stealth to take him out before he kills his hostages. In City, he gets a much longer sidequest where he requires you to pick up ringing telephones and then glide to another one across the city within a time limit. Once you’ve listened to all of his messages, Batman finds out where his lair is, sneaks through it, and whoops his ass.

I certainly can’t say he’s the best villain in either game he appears in, but he’s definitely scary. His messages and game over screens are really freaky and unnerving, and the Riddler even requires you to find some of Zsasz’s work as parts of riddles… and by “work” I am of course referring to corpses posed in life-like positions. There’s also the horrifying little tidbit that in City, Zsasz actually does kill one of his hostages and there’s nothing that can be done about it; if you switch to detective mode in his lair, you can see a corpse at the bottom of the water in the room.

I think how creepy and intense he is really helps make him stand out among the more colorful characters in those games like Joker, Clayface, and Riddler, so I think giving him a nice 8/10 for his appearances is well-earned. I feel like Birds of Prey could have learned a few lessons from this portrayal; if they wanted to make him more creepy than physically intimidating, that could have worked well and it would have made his anti-climactic defeat a bit more plausible. Instead, they kind of tried this middle ground where he’s creepy enough and intimidating enough physically that it just feels like a letdown when he’s offed.

Oh yeah, did you know he appeared in Batman Begins? He had a brief cameo and didn’t do anything significant and looked like this:

Pretty sure he’d get a low score if he wasn’t just a quick little reference.

#Psycho Analysis #Roman Sionis #Birds of Prey #birds of prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn)#Ewan McGregor #victor zsasz #Chris Messina #Danny Jacobs #Arkham series #Batman

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infinitefandomimagines · 6 years ago

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Sacrifices - Peter Parker X Stark!Reader

WARNINGS: MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS, LIKE GIANT SPOILERS, DEATH, CRYING, MILF PANIC ATTACK?? Request: Hi (Endgame request!) Could you do a peter x reader where she is tony’s daughter and an avenger? like super angsty of her dealing with what happens to tony? + imagine where the reader is starks daughter but also an avenger and is dating peter. maybe something about when tony dies and the reader is right there and so is peter? and peter being there for her? You didn’t even remember waking up. There was no jolt, no fog clearing from your head, no slow regaining of consciousness. One second you didn’t even exist, and the next you were just… there. Confusion flooded your mind as your brain tried to process what was happening, or anything for that matter. You couldn’t even remember what happened before– Oh…

Memories began flooding in; New York. Ditching the bus along with Peter upon seeing a floating ring in the sky. Your dad yelling at you for being reckless. Titan. Thanos. The fight. The fear you felt when Thanos stabbed your father. The eerie silence that washed over everyone when the plan failed. Everyone suddenly turning to dust. You could vividly remember the uneasy feeling in your stomach, your body suddenly feeling as light as air. The feeling of panic when you realized what was happening, and that you couldn’t stop it. You remembered the tears streaming down Peter’s face as he begged you not to leave, his voice broken and faltering, his pained expression burned itself into your mind. But the worst part? The worst part was the horrified look on your dad’s face, you were almost positive it’d haunt your dreams from this point forward. His last words to you echoed in your skull and sent chills through your body, “You’re alright sweetheart, you’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.” But you weren’t okay. You took in your surroundings, realizing you were in fact, still on Titan. Your body froze when you made eye contact with a man who stood only a couple feet in front of you. You recognized him; what was his name again? Quell? Quinn? Quill. He seemed to share your same shocked state as he looked around at you, his friends, Dr. Strange, and … Peter?

But if Peter was here that meant he must have– you didn’t even want to think about it. His eyes were glassy and brimmed with tears as he stared at you in disbelief, trying to debate whether your were real or not. Whether he was even real. He walked towards you slowly, as if you would disappear the second he got too close. “Y-Y/N?” He finally spoke, his voice just barely above a whisper. However, that was all it took for you to close the distance between the two of you. You practically flung yourself onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck, tucking your head under his chin and burying your face in his chest. One of his arms wrapped around the small of your back, holding you tightly as he held the back of your head with his other hand, tangling his fingers in your hair. You finally let the tears you’d been holding back flow freely, letting out stifled sobs as Peter held you; being back in his arms felt euphoric. You craned your neck up to look at Peter, his hands moved to rest against your cheeks, holding your face. He stared down at you with tear filled eyes, “I’m sorry,” his voice broke, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, I tried, I-” You stopped him, “It wasn’t your fault, Pete,” you said firmly, “Don’t think for one second that it was.” Peter didn’t know what to say, so he simply nodded and did the only thing he could think of. His lips crashed into yours, and you instantly melted into him. In that moment, you completely forgot about everyone else there, it was just you and Peter. “I hate to break up the love-fest, but does anyone wanna explain what the hell is happening,” Quill spoke up. It was a sweet moment, but watching you and Peter reunite only reminded him of how he’d never see Gamora again, and it hurt, he’d never admit that though. Peter and you broke apart and settled for simply holding hands. Everyone gathered around each other, looking for some sort of explanation. “They did it,” Dr. Strange whispered, mostly to himself. “What do you mean? Who did what?” Quill pressed further, a touch if annoyance in his voice. Strange let out a sigh of frustration, “I don’t have time to explain, but it’s been five years since Thanos won, and your dad,” Strange pointed at you, “and his friends brought everyone Thanos killed back, but now they need our help.” “How do you know all of this?” Peter asked, his mind spinning, he was having trouble wrapping his head around everything Strange just said. “Like I said, I’ve seen everyone possible outcome-” “And there’s only one where we win,” you finished, remembering what he’d said before everything went sideways. Strange nodded, “I’ll be back,” he said, “They’re gonna need more than just us.” Strange then opened a portal and stepped through it, leaving no time for anyone to ask more questions, and he was back almost as soon as he was gone, instructing everyone to get ready. You pressed the button on your bracelet, allowing the nano-tech to encase your body in the suit your dad gave you for your birthday. Peter already had his mask on, and the guardians were holstering their weapons. “Strange, you said you saw every possible outcome, which one are we in?” You questioned. “I cant tell you that.” He said simply, before conjuring up a portal to what looked like the apocalypse, and before you knew it, you were fighting. Everything was happening so fast, you’d lost track of Peter a while ago, that was until you saw him with your dad. You smiled at the sight of them hugging, but it quickly faded when you saw one of Thanos’ soldiers creeping up to them, unnoticed. You quickly raised your hand, your blaster at the ready, and fired. The blast startled Peter and your dad prompting them to jump apart, ready to fight whoever just shot at them. “I seriously don’t know how you survived so long without me,” you joked, your mask retreating back into your suit, revealing your face. “Y/N,” your dad whispered in disbelief, his face in an utter state of shock. It was you, not a dream, not just some hologram, it was really you. His feet slowly carried him over to you, the same dumbfounded expression still displayed across his face. “I- I just…” He struggled for words. He was standing right in front of you now, the two of you only about a foot apart. His eyes examined your face, taking in every detail he’d missed seeing everyday so dearly. Your mouth curved into a smile, he’d definitely missed that the most. “Hey dad,” you said in a small whisper, tears brimming your eyes. He was pulling you into his arms in a second, “… I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he breathed out. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” you comforted, letting your tears fall. “There’s so much I need to tell you-” “And you will,” you interrupted him, pulling away from the hug, “But right now we have a war to win.” Your dad smirked, “Always one to get down to business.” You shrugged, copying his smirk, “I Iearned from the best.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I’m so proud of you,” he said, letting his smirk melt into a soft smile. “Not as much as I am of you,” you responded, trying not to let your voice crack. “You two watch after each other,” he said, raising his brows and pointing to you and Peter. “Always sir,” Peter replied. The fight seemed to last forever. You were absolutely exhausted, and could feel your body giving in to fatigue. You felt the warm trickled of blood running down the side of your face from the laceration on your temple. The blood from your busted lip had long since dried, and you could feel bruises forming in different locations on your body, namely the one just below your rib-cage on your left side. Your suit was without a doubt damaged, and would be needing some serious repairs. The metal was scratched up to Hell, and a few systems were malfunctioning. Three of Thanos’ soldiers had you surrounded, and under normal circumstances you would have been able to handle it, but for some reason your blasters wouldn’t fire up. “Andy why aren’t my blasters working?” You asked your suit in a panicked voice. “You’ve taken too much damage miss Stark, I’m afraid your blasters are offline, would you like me to contact Mr. Parker or your father for you?” The AI responded. Before you could answer, something floating in the air grabbed your attention. Dust. No. No no no, this can’t be happening again. Your heart rate picked up and you felt light headed. This can’t happen again, you just got back, Thanos can’t win again. You looked up, hoping to find Peter, your dad, Rhodey, Strange, anyone. But what you saw instead shocked you, the three soldiers who had you cornered were no longer there. Instead, dust slowly settled to the ground where they once stood. Your eyes scanned over the battle field as Thanos’ army started turning to dust, man by man and ship my ship. But you? You were fine, and by the looks of it, so was everyone else who fought by the Avengers side. Thanos lost. And the Avengers won. You snapped yourself out of the initial shock, your mind instantly going to Peter and you dad, you had to find them. “Andy, are thrusters still online?” “I can transfer all remaining power to them if you’d like, miss?” “Yeah. Yeah, do that,” you instructed. It took a couple seconds, but once Andy informed you they were back online you took off, your eyes scanning the ground for any sign of Peter or your dad. It didn’t take long for you to catch sight of Peter’s red and blue suit, he was kneeling, and his shoulders shaking. Rhodey hovered over him, swaying slightly; they were both looking at someone, but you couldn’t quiet see who. You landed right behind them, your suit dissolving as it formed back into just a bracelet, leaving you in your clothes which closely resembled athletic wear. “Rhodey! Peter!” You called out, jogging up to them. Peter’s head snapped up at the sound of your voice as he stood. Rhodey turned to face you, tears streamed down his face. They tried to block you from seeing what was behind them, but they failed. “Have you seen my-” It was your horrific scream that alerted the other avengers something was wrong. Steve’s heart dropped into his stomach, Thor’s victorious smile fell, Bruce felt a chill run down his spine, and Clint’s head shot up. Pepper started looking around for you, the way you screamed out for your dad scaring her. Rhodey caught you in his arms as you stumbled towards your father, attempting to hold you back. Peter stood and watched, fresh tears pricking his eyes at the sound of your broken voice. “Let me go!” You yelled at him, struggling against his grip, “Let me go! We can help him! Rhodey please!” “I’m so sorry, kid,” Rhodey’s voice cracked as he tried to comfort you. You somehow managed to break free of his grip, forcibly pushing him off of you and instantly collapsing to your knees in front of your dad. The right half of his body was blacked from burns, his face just barely spared, partially singed black. You almost missed the infinity stones placed according in the armor om his right hand, giving you all the explanation you needed. “No… Why? Why would you do that?” You whispered, but you knew the answer. He did it to save his family, to save the universe. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. He just stared at you with glazed over eyes, wheezing as he tried to take in as much air as possible, he was trying as hard as he could to stay alive long enough to say goodbye to his family, even if he couldn’t find the strength speak. “Dad… Dad please. You’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay… You can’t leave me, not now, not like this,” you were trying to keep it together, but the cracks in your voice surely gave you away. It felt like your heart was being torn apart, bit by bit, making it nearly impossible to be pieced back together. You were starting to lose your composure, not that you had much of one to begin with. Tears streamed down your face as you tried your best to choke back sobs, each one stabbing Peter, Rhodey, and now Pepper, who had appeared without you noticing, straight through the heart. Steve and Thor watched as well, watching their friend’s daughter deteriorate in front of them, a girl they had learned to love as a daughter as well. “I love you, please don’t leave me,” you whispered, grabbing hold of his left hand, holding it with both of yours. “Dad, please…” It could’ve just been your imagination, but you swore you felt him squeeze your hand ever so slightly, it was weak, but you caught it. It was his way of saying he loves you too, and that was your breaking point. Your chest tightened and your heart physically hurt as it raced faster and faster. More tears stung your eyes, and your breathing grew shallow and quick. The realization that this wasn’t fixable hitting you harder than a freight train. There was nothing you could do, and it wasn’t a feeling that was very familiar, because before now, there had always been a way, your dad always made it out alive. But not this time. It wad all so overwhelming, you couldn’t do this. How are you supposed to live on without him? You felt a hand on your shoulder, one composed of cool metal. “Y/N…” Peter’s voice was hoarse, and about as broken as yours. Losing his mentor hurt, and seeing you like this only made it worse, but he was determined to be strong for you, to give you a shoulder to cry on, a stone to lean on when you weren’t strong enough to stand on your own. “Baby, come on,” he whispered, both of his hands now on your shoulders, gently tugging you towards him. You shrugged his hands off, you couldn’t leave your dad. “Y/N, it’s okay, you have to let go,” he tried again, pulling you with a little more strength. “No, no I can’t leave him,” you cried, resisting. Rhodey stepped forward to help, but Peter stopped him, knowing it was probably best to do this himself. He hated having to pull you away, he couldn’t stand the fact that he would only add to your pain by doing so, but he knew he had to. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, before wrapping his arms around your waist, restricting your movement, and pulling you away with all the strength he could muster. His arms pressed against your bruise causing a sharp pain to erupt just below your ribs, but that was the least of your concerns. You struggled against him as he pulled you from your dad, screaming at him, begging for him to let you go, but no matter how much it hurt him, he didn’t let go. You tried to hold on to your dad’s hand, but as Peter pulled you away, it slipped out of your grasp and dropped limply into his lap. “Let go! Peter let go of me! Peter please!” You yelled at him, thrashing and struggling I’m his arms, but his grip never loosened. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating. Peter was finally able to drag you far enough away to allow Pepper to take the spot next to your dad and say her goodbyes. He spun you around in his arms so that you faced him, and held you in a tight bear hug. You were still trying to free yourself from his grasp, but your efforts were growing weaker. Your hands pressed against his chest, the iron-spider suit feeling cold under your palms as you tried to push him away. “Peter please…” you choked out, but your voice was weak and small. Peter shook his head, “You’re okay, I’ve got you, I’m not gonna let go.” You finally stop struggling, your body was too weak, and the fatigue mixed with the stress of the situation hit you full force. Your legs gave out, and had Peter not been holding you, you would’ve collapsed onto the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck for support, and he pulled you into him, tucking your head under his chin as you buried your face into his chest. One arm stayed wrapped around your waist while his other hand drew comforting circles into your back as you cried. He placed a soft kiss to the top of your head before glancing back at Tony, who was watching the whole ordeal. Peter sent Tony a small nod, as if saying ’don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.’ Tony wanted to say thank you, but there was no strength left for him to do so. He turned his attention back to Pepper, who also glanced back at you and Peter. She quickly returned her attention back to her husband who was living on borrowed time, and forced herself to give him a sad smile. “We’re gonna be okay,” Pepper whispered to him, “You can rest now.” Peter held you tighter as he watched the light on Tony’s chest flicker out. He kept his arms securely around you, scared you would turn around and see the scene behind you, see that the light had left your dad’s chest and his eyes. A/N: Part 2?? Perhaps?

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