#I absolutely love the fact that if I look at ONE video I instantly think of an ability for my beloved OC <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[roxyfoxgamer150]

Akuma: *Writing everything down they see on tiktok, bc it's the only way to make their new OC more overpowered*

Kromelia, the new OC: Hey— hey you can stop writing everything into abilities.

Akuma:

Akuma: *WRITES MORE DOWN*

Kromelia: HEY— STOP THAT AND— WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING ME A LOVE INTEREST!?

Akuma: FOR COMEDY!

Kromelia: BULLSHIT YOUR ABOUT TO WRITE A MISUNDERSTANDING TROPE AREN'T YOU BITCH—

Akuma: Listen here dickhead YOUR MISUNSERSTANDINGS AND POWERS ARE MY RELIEF—

Solaris: AKUMA KERES AND KROMELIA RAON SHIRONE

Solaris: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. OR SO HELP ME—

[hiddenreamers]

I was in your music video - f1 drivers x singer!reader

SUMMARY: They say that if a poet loves you, they will write you into immortality. But if you date a musician, they might write you into the Billboard 100. Which is exactly what happens to your driver boyfriend.

Featuring: Lewis Hamilton, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri, Carlos Sainz Jr, Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc, George Russell

Note: Yes, two songs are sung by male artists. Yes, I'm going to ignore that fact and you should, too.

Lewis Hamilton

He's been in the room maybe five times. The space always felt strangely sacred to him - this is where you write, compose and practice songs with your band; this is where the magic, so to speak, happens. Walls are absolutely covered with tour posters, polaroids and printed-out articles. There's a large mirror that seems to be a message board considering all the sticky notes and words written with a marker. The only somewhat de-cluttered space is surrounding the setup. It's an unspoken testament to being a musician in a band.

There's a certain tension inside the driver. You've never asked him to listen to a song before it's finished. Sure, he has listened through your albums before they were officially released but it was always just that - a recording, not a live version. So what's different this time? Why is it vital he hears this song early?

Walking through the room, Lewis has to carefully watch where he's going. He doesn't want to accidentally break something by stepping on a cable or kicking a box with unknown contents. Inside a garage, he knows what not to touch but a recording studio and instruments are pretty much an unknown world to him.

Lewis is standing around a tad awkwardly, hands in pockets, when the bassist pushes a big black box closer to the driver.

"Have a seat." The musician points to the chest.

Lewis frowns. "On the box?" he asks, unsure. "Is that okay?"

"It's the Lucky Chest, Hamilton," the bassist announces. The other band members snicker at the title. "You have to sit on it."

"What's lucky about it?" Lewis inquires. More than the seating choice, he's interested in the reason for laughter.

"The first time we played at a big festival," the guitarist begins, her story slightly interrupted by her tuning the guitar, "we were sitting on it and listening to Green Day's stage, wondering 'how the fuck are we supposed to play after them?'."

"We were doing like a punk-rock tribute thing," adds the drummer. He's adjusting his seat and judging by the constant up-and-down movement, he can't make up his mind. The process is finally over when he reaches to tap the high-hat and nods to himself, content.

"After we finished our set," you take over retelling the story, "Billy Joe Armstrong came up to us and said we did great."

"So now it's the Lucky Chest," concludes the bassist.

Perhaps it's another testament to being a musician in a band when multiple people together tell one story without cutting details or creating chaos. A true harmony, though a joke a little on the nose.

"Well, I'm honoured," Lewis says. An airy giggle escapes him as he's still thinking about how easily teamwork comes to you and your band.

"You should be." The guitarist points her finger at him in a joking but accusatory way. Then she looks over her shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, drummer boy."

Music fills the room and Lewis is instantly captivated by you. He noticed it the first time he saw you on stage, how something inside you changes the moment you hear the instruments playing. Intensity, fire - passion in its most primal form. But this time around, the look in your eyes is different. You're no longer looking at the audience but him specifically; instead of singing a song, you seem to be telling him something.

So he listens.

I'm a desert, you're an ocean It's your motion that I need Without you I am broken, left to thirst out in the heat

And how strange he suddenly feels: all of the sentiments he already knows but now that you've put them into words for the whole world to hear, he can't help but find some revelation in them. For a moment, there's only the two of you and your confession of desire. Every word resonates with him and Lewis feels like he could say all of those things about you, too.

The song is far from over but he has already decided - he will listen to it before every race.

Lando Norris

Nothing seemed different about that day.

Lando is streaming while you're still at the studio. In an hour or so, you will come back, he will end the stream and the two of you will sit down to eat something. You will talk about your day, he will say something silly and both of you will laugh. Just like you always did.

To his credit, Lando couldn't have known about the song because you never told him. Some part of you thought it would be a bit dramatic to announce that you've written a song about him but can't play it yet because it's not finished. It would spoil the fun, wouldn't it? Therefore, you decided to tell Lando only after he listened to the final product. Perhaps you also wanted to seem a lot more nonchalant about the whole thing, planning on giving him just an off-hand comment of "oh, by the way, this one's about you". Life, however, rarely turns out the way we plan and that's exactly what happened that night.

If it was just one or two people calling Lando "honeybee" on the stream, he probably wouldn't even notice. But even he will pay attention when the comments are going on hundreds if not thousands.

He can't help but grow flustered at the pet name born out of his visceral fear of insects.

"Who told you that?!" he yells in a comically angry tone, a poor attempt at hiding embarrassment.

The comments come flooding again, explaining the situation only in variations of your name and the title Espresso. And like a detective following a crime, Lando immediately searches the internet.

"I feel lied to," he speaks up. "She didn't tell me she has a new song coming out. Why am I the last one to know? When I literally live with her? This is so unfair, I'm obviously the biggest fan, I should know first!"

Lando plays the music video. From the first line of "he's thinking about me every night", his bashfulness only gets worse. What starts as an excited smile, grows into a flustered, giggly mess. Although his pride is on the line, he can't deny any of the claims you make in the song. Yes, he couldn't sleep one night thinking about you and texted you about that. Yes, he does call you often even though he hates making phone calls. And yes, Lando Norris is, in fact, wrapped around your finger. What a horse is everyone can see and similarly, everyone can see and define who Lando is when it comes to his girlfriend:

"Simp?" he reads one of the comments. "Look, maybe I am but at the end of the day I'm dating her and you're not so who's the real loser here?"

Lando can only laugh his heart out when the chat gets flooded with identical comments: You.

"Okay, I admit. I'm down bad for my girlfriend and I'm proud of that."

Tomorrow's headlines are bound to be interesting...

Oscar Piastri

Although Oscar has seen you in musicals countless times, this situation feels a lot weirder and more uncomfortable. When he comes to watch your show, he's in the audience and you're on the stage. Now you're sitting side by side on the couch in your shared apartment, about to see your first movie. You're both the audience and the creator, which leaves you unsure how to act.

Unfortunately, your discomfort only grows. Oscar seems to be enjoying the movie but joy is not granted to you on this day. With each minute, you know your big part is coming. Oh God, what is he going to think?

Then, you suddenly pause the film. Oscar looks at you confused.

"There's something you need to know before you watch this scene and listen to the song," you say before he can ask you about your strange actions.

Oscar's frown only deepens. "You're making it sound really serious."

"Because it is. The thing is... " you hang your voice, unsure how to put words together. How do you tell someone this without making things awkward? "This is more embarrassing than I thought it would be but the song you're about to hear, I wrote it thinking about you."

He's trying to smile but the shadow of embarrassment on his face doesn't go unnoticed. You can only hope it's good kind of nervous.

The movie is resumed. As your discomfort is barely tolerable, you're looking away from the TV, fidgeting ever-so-slightly. Once or twice, you glance at Oscar, trying to see his reaction. The problem is, he's sitting unbelievably still. True, Oscar Piastri tends to be on the calmer side but right now it feels off. As if lost deep in thought, he appears to be diligently contemplating the scene in the movie; picking apart the words that came to your mind while thinking about him.

When the song comes to an end, you pause the film once more. A tense silence falls between you and Oscar, both longing to say something and yet neither willing to.

"So?" you begin hesitantly. "What do you think?"

Oscar shifts awkwardly. "Erm... I don't really know what to say."

A nervous giggle escapes your lips. "It's really sappy, I know." You try to downplay the situation, fearing that his reaction is born out of something negative. Does he think you're clingy? Obsessive? Too dramatic to handle?

"It's not that," he quickly denies. "Well, okay, it is kind of sappy but it's good sappy?" Oscar's tone raises slightly, revealing that he's unsure whether it's the right choice of words.

"Good sappy?" you repeat.

It feels as though woe has weaved a nest inside your viscera. "Good sappy" sounds like a lovely, diplomatic euphemism used not to hurt someone's feelings.

"Yeah, it's just..." Oscar doesn't finish his sentence. He runs his hand through his hair, then rubs the back of his neck nervously. Finally, he looks at you but not in a way you're familiar with. There's something ethereal in his gaze, a glint of inexplicable emotion that would escape a less observant eye. "It's really beautiful," he says. "The fact that you feel this way about me?" You could swear there are tears in his eyes as he lets out a flustered giggle. "I can die happy now."

Carlos Sainz

As old tradition entails, the Thursdays before a race weekend are meant for golfing. And who is Carlos Sainz to not give in to the custom?

He's sitting in his car, impatiently ploughing through the traffic of the city centre. Why are people out and about at this time, anyway? Shouldn't they be at work? Wanting to get his mind off of the fact that he's going to be quite late to the game, Carlos turns on the radio. The man is mindlessly skipping through the stations until something catches his attention - the announcer introduces you as today's guest.

"Hello again, pretty girl," Carlos says to himself. A small smile enters his face.

"First of all, I'd like to thank you," the radio host begins. "Unfinished Business is just the album I've been waiting for this year. And not only me! Have you seen Billboard 100 lately?"

Your flustered giggle is just as adorable as always. "Yesterday evening, I think?"

The broadcaster sighs dramatically. "Then you have ancient news. I have the site pulled up now and check it every few minutes. Let me tell you, Unfinished Business has climbed twenty spots since morning."

"Oh, shoot."

"Indeed." The announcer laughs and Carlos does with him. It's such a familiar theme for the driver - you being more humble than you really should be, surprised by the success you entirely deserve.

"Now, to address the elephant in the room or rather on the music charts. Over and Over Again is like a love letter all of us have written but never sent. Tell me all about it!"

"I guess 'love letter' is a pretty good description," you explain. Curious, Carlos turns up the volume. "For some time, I was trying to put my thoughts together and tell someone how I felt but never could quite do it. I can write good songs but in real life, I'm pretty terrible at speaking my mind and talking about feelings. I just don't want people to misunderstand, you know?"

"What are you saying, hermosa?" Carlos asks aloud, although there's no one to answer him.

"At least you can write a song about it! We regular folk are stuck with memes and playlists."

"Thank God, I can!" You laugh and, as embarrassing as it may sound, Carlos feels a sudden warmth spreading through his chest. "I was struggling with saying what I wanted to say to him, so at some point, I just decided I could put those words and feelings into a song. He likes to listen to the radio when he's driving so he might even be listening right now."

Although nothing bad or negative is going on, Carlos feels himself growing tense, nervous. There's no doubt the "he" you keep mentioning is him but what exactly is it you've been trying to tell him? Is there something he's missing?

"Did you tell him you've written a song about him?" the radio host asks.

"It might have slipped my mind," you answer coyly.

The announcer only laughs. "Oh dear, what a way to find out! Without further ado, let's hear your love letter to the mysterious man. I really hope he's listening to us right now. Don't you dare change the station, you lucky guy."

To his own surprise, Carlos recognizes the melody - you've been humming it for weeks now. But as you begin singing, the words leave him in disbelief. Do you really... mean all of that?

Carlos is lost in the song, feeling as though the lyrics aren't just lyrics but your genuine confession; a true love letter, as you have said yourself. He's brought back to reality only when the car behind him honks and Carlos is a hair's breadth away from picking a fight with the other driver. Nothing requires more haste or attention than his girlfriend exclaiming to the whole world that he will always be the one for her and that she will love him over and over again.

Charles Leclerc

You don't hear Charles coming in - you're too lost in your own thing to remember there's an entire world outside of the song and the piano in front of you. On the other hand, Charles doesn't announce his arrival as he doesn't want to disturb you. To be perfectly honest, he's a little too curious to interrupt you. It happens very rarely that you practise outside of the studio and so Charles doesn't really get to hear your more casual singing, not an embellished performance for the audience.

As quietly as he can, he makes his way towards you. Charles casually leans against the doorframe, your back turned to him as you continue playing the piano. He barely bites back the smile that creeps onto his face whenever you effortlessly sing the high notes - they are difficult for professionals and yet you execute them so cleanly, they appear almost too easy.

The lyrics haunt him but in a truly delicious way. A particular note of sincerity in your voice makes the words stick to him like rain does to a reckless passerby. Sure, they will slip away, although not before drenching him; their vital piece will forever lie with him.

When the song comes to an end, Charles (without thinking twice) gives you a hefty applause. The surprise makes you almost fall off the chair.

"Shit, you scared me!" you yell at him. It takes a couple deep breaths and your boyfriend's apologies, to collect yourself. "How much did you hear?"

He shrugs, suddenly realizing that he wasn't supposed to hear even one note of the song. "Pretty much all of it."

Your expression must not be joyful as Charles resumes his apologies and poor attempts at excuses. Suddenly, you cut him off. "How'd you like it?"

For a moment, he only hums and mindlessly knocks at the doorframe, looking for the right words.

"I loved it," he confesses. A strange tension in his voice proves he's telling the truth. "It's a beautiful song."

"Good," you answer absentmindedly. Quietly, you nod to yourself before looking back at Charles, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "It would really suck if you hated a song about yourself, you know?"

His eyes grow wide and Charles seems to forget about blinking for a good minute. Judging by the changes in his expression, you can tell the exact thought process he's experiencing: realizing you've written a song about him, joy caused by that, remembering the lyrics and finally taking them personally.

The more observant fans might notice a new addition to his helmet: "Claire de Lune" written in elegant lettering.

George Russell

Common sense might tell you that a race car driver must have no fear. And that would be correct, although quite imprecise. They must have no fear on track, yes, but daily life is quite different from racing, isn't it? Or maybe George is discovering a range of emotions he has not known before.

Your relationship is fresh but that isn't to say it's not serious. The weight of the connection the two of you share is a major part of the reason why George has been dead set on taking things slow. The other part is him knowing what media circus will play out once the news breaks. It's hard to blame him for wanting to keep at least some aspect of his life private, especially one that means so much to him.

As understanding as you are, George's apprehensiveness is tiring. You perfectly understand his reasoning and to some degree share the sentiment but at the same time, you are just somebody in love - you itch to scream it to the whole world. Or, at the very least, share a picture of the two of you. Both of you haven't been middle-schoolers for quite some time now, so why act like ones?

George, like the supportive boyfriend he is, loves to see you in your element. He watches the music videos, yet, but he much prefers the dance practice videos, where you're visibly enjoying each second of the choreography. Therefore, when you upload a new dance video for your song, he's probably the first person to play it.

It's a catchy tune that makes even the most boring people want to dance a little. With his head moving to the rhythm, George doesn't focus much on the lyrics until something in the second verse catches his attention:

So used to hiding We built our kingdom around The right timing

The lines, understandably, hit a little too close to home to be a pure coincidence. Now suspicious, George replays the video - this time, he's actually listening to the words instead of focusing on your dancing. Any hesitation that he's the true recipient of the song is gone with the first line of "Say you want me". The desperation in your voice is simply too candid to be just an act for the sake of the performance.

With the song loudly playing on a loop, George is scrolling through his phone's gallery in search of the best pictures of the two of you. He can't help but mouth the lyrics along with your singing, only to randomly giggle as the thought once again settles - it's about him.

Your phone can't stop vibrating. The notifications are coming nonstop. What on Earth happened? Upon opening Instagram, the mystery is solved. The internet seemed to be set on fire when George posted a series of pictures of the two of you with a caption that earned a giddy chuckle from you: "Setting us in motion".

Max Verstappen

Max and you both understand how much support can change. Sometimes just knowing that this other person is out there, watching and cheering, can change everything. As such, the two of you try to attend each other's events as much as you can. Unfortunately, the universe isn't always kind and you end up on the opposite ends of the world. The only support you can offer then is watching the live-streamed event - just like Max is doing right now.

He's sitting in his driver's room in Singapore, while you're at an award show in the USA. Quite the distance. There's something unbearably humbling about having to watch your performance like most of the world, when Max is, without a doubt, not most of the world.

In the back of his mind, Max is still thinking about the conversation he had with you earlier. Although he never misses your performances, you made it a point to tell him to watch this one. In your own words, he's supposed to look out for something fun, like a detail that will make this show different from the others. So as though he is a hawk, or more of a vulture, Max is hyperanalizing everything that's happening on the screen. He's not about to miss your little surprise.

The song begins and as much as he wants to enjoy watching you in your element, Max is a missile on a mission. Nothing specific seems to catch his eye but that t-shirt you're wearing...

Max knows it all too well. Theoretically, it's his t-shirt but considering you wear it more often than he does, it's practically yours. Now it's styled to fit the concept and image of your bandmates but the colour, the logo, the number, are all unmistakeable. Considering how much you're touching the article of clothing, compared to other dancers, he's convinced he's found what he was meant to look for.

Before he can wonder why you've chosen to wear his t-shirt for your performance, it's you who gives him the answer through the lyrics:

I feel like for the first time I am not faking Fingers on my buttons and now you're playing Master of anticipation, don't you keep it all to yourself

Max Verstappen doesn't get flustered but if he did, he'd be beyond flustered right now. The realization hits him like a derailed train - the song that everyone has been obsessed with through the summer and that has pretty obvious sexual lyrics is actually about him.

And if he did get flustered, the emotion would be rather short-lived, giving way to pride. After all, the core meaning of the song is that he's a generous lover, right? Clearly, he's been taking good care of his girlfriend.

Now, each sung line of "Just the touch of your love" makes Max all the more frustrated that the two of you are so far apart. He's earned his title of "Master of anticipation" and he intends to keep it.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Dick loves your plushie collection.

He doesn’t find it embarrassing in the slightest! If anything he finds it more offensive that you’d think it embarrassing having plushies as an adult. After he himself has a plush bunny dressed in his nightwing attire -escrima sticks and all- that he won at an arcade game a while back perched on the top of his bed back home.

He calls it dick jr and cuddles it when he has a rough night of crime fighting.

So he’s the last person to ever cast judgment on your plush collection.

If anything he lets his imagination run wild with them and takes full advantage of them. So if the instance came where you weren’t home, Dick would always send you photos and mini videos of him taking excellent care of a plush hare called Sir John Roderick Wellington the third by tucking him in bed at night, pretending to brush his teeth, etc

Or he’d make enact a photo shoot with a couple of them and send the results to you as your left asking where’d he manage to get all sorts of accessories for them…you’re still awaiting the answer to this day. Another thing he’d do with them is take them with him as company while he’s doing mundane chores in the apartment and act as though the plush is helping him.

You were quick to catch on that Dick having a hell of blast with it with how often he spammed your phone with a plethora of photos and videos that kept you up to date with the daily misadventures of your plushy. And yet you weren’t any better either as you kept them all in a album in your phone and are still wondering why your phone keeps informing you that you are running low on space…

Your favourite picture of your plushy was one where Dick had it tucked in bed, a picture of you on its lap, meanwhile Dick’s face could be seen peaking up from the bottom corner of the screen followed by the caption; ‘he misses you and can’t wait for you to come home and cuddle him. Oh and also me. :(

It’s became your Home Screen now and it was the best decision you’ve been made because it never failed to make you smile even on a bad day.

Jason loves it when you wear his clothes.

It’s free therapy for the man seeing you in his clothes and you can quote me on that.

He fucking loved coming home to see you do your own thing while looking all comfortable and relaxed in his shirts or hoodies doing so. For all Jason could ever want for you was for you to feel comfortable with him however you saw fit.

Also it gives him the more reason to stare at you shamelessly, well more than he did already, but you get the point. Jason is a simple man who’s not above letting it known how much he absolutely adores you.

So you wearing his clothes only added onto that adoration that he had for you. No one else could be more perfect in his eyes then you and he stands by that that statement.

‘You look perfect.’ -Jason

‘Jason, I’m wearing sweats and one of your shirts while eating pizza.’ -you

‘Yeah, perfect.’ -Jason

‘Doofus.’ -you, smiling.

Some days Jason would even go out of his way to leave his clothes on your side of the bed as a hint that he wants you to wear it for the day. Other days however he would be outright and blunt with the fact that he’d rather have you in his clothes than your own at this point.

‘Why are you wearing your clothes?’ - Jason

‘Because they’re my clothes and I feel bad wearing all of yours all the time.’ -you

‘Well I on the other hand don’t, take this shirt and go back into our bedroom and change.’ - Jason says as he takes off the shirt he was wearing and hands it to you, uncaring of the fact that he was shirtless in the living room.

‘You’re being dramatic Jason.’ - you as you take the warm shirt from his hands.

‘No I’m not, I just like you in my clothes a lot better than anything else.’ - Jason said, crossing his arms over his chest.

‘You’re getting jealous over clothes now?’ - you asked, raising a brow.

‘Yes.’ Jason responds instantly. ‘Now for the sake of my sanity go back and put my shirt on please.’

You kiss his cheek before leaving for the bedroom to change. ‘If you insist.’

‘I heavily insist chipmunk.’ - Jason says as he watched you walk away before following after to grab another shirt.

Jason loves it when you’re in his clothes. It’s his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.

[cherriegyuu]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4skP1tuO6F/?igsh=MTNtamg3ZmM1aDgxbw==

Can u plssss make a husband mingyu fic of his daughter absolutely hating his haircut go from long to extremely short causing him to sulk and hate his own hair then y/n having to comfort him😭😭 this video legit reminded me of this instantly idek how

i'm not supposed to be taking requests but this was just something that stuck to my mind ever since i read it. so here it is! i hope you like it! i'm also just in time for his birthday

when he cuts his hair

pairing: mingyu x fem!reader genre: fluff word count: 769 warnings: slightly suggestive not proofread

You did your best to contain your smile, or at least tried to hide it, as your daughter cried into your shoulder, her small tears soaking your shirt and her hands balled into tiny fists in your hair. Under normal circumstances, you’d have taken her hand away but in that moment, it seemed like the only option to have her calm down. 

Your husband sat on the couch, the blanket you kept on the back of it wrapped around his head and shoulder, as his eyes were two full moons in his face. Mingyu was a mixture of laughter and unwashed tears as he watched your daughter cry into you. 

“I didn’t know” his voice came out in a whine, his hold on the blanket tightening “I thought it would be okay”

Mingyu had left the house that morning saying “I’m going to cut hair, I’ll be right back”. He had kept his hair longer for almost a year and it was probably one of your daughter’s favorite things about him — that and also the fact that Mingyu even existed. “Not only does she look like you the most but she also loves you the most” you’d half-heartily complain sometimes. 

It became some sort of routine, if she fell asleep with Mingyu around, she’d most definitely have her hand in his hair. Logically and rationally you knew that Hanna wouldn't like the new haircut, but you also didn’t think that it would be that much of a big deal. What you also didn’t expect was for Mingyu to come back with the shortest hair you have ever seen on him. 

You had known Mingyu for roughly twelve years and he always kept his hair on the longer side. While the sight was a fantastic one, Hanna didn’t seem to share the same idea. 

She ran to the door excitedly the second she heard the sound of keys on the lock to greet her dad. She had the biggest smile on her face and then it just disappeared as she took in her dad’s new look. Her small features contorted and her eyes filled with tears and she ran back to you, hiding behind your legs.

Like he usually did, Mingyu kneeled to welcome the hug that always came but this time there was none. 

You wished you had recorded the whole thing, the way Hanna started to scream her lungs out because “not daddy” and Mingyu was a few seconds away from crying. 

“Hanna” you cooed “you don’t want to say hi to daddy? He missed while he was away”

She shook her head.

“Not daddy,” she said again, the new tears coming down her face.

It took you a good hour to get her to settle down and sleep. Her body still shook with sobs when you put her in bed. 

Mingyu was in the living room, in the same exact position as before, the blanket still wrapped around his head. His eyes were sort of lost until he finally seemed to notice you were back. Once again his eyes were filled with tears. 

“Babe, no, it’s fine,” you said, approaching him. 

When you were close enough he pulled you to him, hands around your waist and his head resting on your stomach. Slowly you pulled the blanket away from him and ran your hand over his hair. There wasn't a lot to hold onto, there was barely any hair in between your fingers, just a little more at the top for a quiff.

“She hates me now,” he complained.

There were these moments when it was hard to tell who was actually the 2 year old and who was the grown man.

“She doesn't, she just needs to get used to it. You're her favorite person” you assure him “She's just surprised. When you left there was hair in your head”

Mingyu groaned at your laugh.

“I just wanted to try something different”

You held his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. Mingyu rested his chin on your stomach, beautiful dark eyes looking back at you.

“Do you like it, at least?”

You bit your lips, trying to keep yourself from saying that maybe you didn’t like it as much, that your favorite hair was that middle ground between short and longer. 

“You look younger” your words were slow, a little careful.

He groaned, pretending to cry, his arms getting even tighter around you. 

“Both of you hate it”

You bent forward and placed a kiss on his nose and then his lips until his pout was replaced by a smile. 

“At least there’s a little bit to hold on to”

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[lunarlando]

thinking about girl dad!lando 💭

a/n: hello and welcome!!! first ln4 post of many to come hopefully. i have so many more thoughts about this, so if anyone wants to come chat or bring up some headcanons of their own, feel free to pop into my inbox :)

girl dad!lando who can hardly believe his ears when you tell him you're pregnant. he's at the height of his career, and having a baby would be a huge change. he's still young, of course, but when he thinks about who he wants to do life with for the rest of his years, the resounding answer is you. so finding out that in nine months time, you're both going to be bringing a child into the world—one that could quite possibly turn out anything like you—oh, he's over the moon. he doesn't even know if it'll be a girl or a boy yet, but either way, he's beyond excited.

girl dad!lando who hates missing appointments and checkups all the time due to the constrains of his job. he wants to be there with you every single time, but with training and races and all the traveling, it's just not in the cards. occasionally he'll be able to pop in via video chat or phone call, but most of the time you have to update him after all is said and done, and he hates it. he feels guilty that he can't be there for you as often as he wants to. you assure him time and time again that it's okay; as long as your baby is healthy, it's okay. he'll have all the time in the world to spend time with them once they're born.

girl dad!lando who becomes even more excited when you find out you're having a girl. it was one thing to think about this baby and wonder about all the possibilities. it's something entirely different actually knowing. he hopes with all his heart that she looks exactly her mother, and already knows she's got him wrapped around her finger. he does his research too—sends you countless articles from parenting blogs and tries to educate himself on how to be the best parent so his baby girl will thrive as she grows up.

girl dad!lando who absolutely refuses to miss the birth of his daughter. he doesn't care what race week it falls on, doesn't care how much shit he'll get into for missing it, on this he stands entirely firm. nothing will prevent lando from being right beside you the entire time. and when the day does come, it's the first time mclaren has to bring up a reserve driver for him. he's a whirlwind around the house when you tell him it's time to go the hospital, grabbing the baby bag you'd both pre-packed and sending off texts to everyone important, making sure everything is in order before helping you waddle to the car. and much to your annoyance, he's never driven so slowly through monaco as he does on the way there. you're surprised you don't have the baby right there in the car with the way he crawls through the streets at a snail's pace.

girl dad!lando who nearly cries when he first gets to hold his little girl in his arms. she's just so...tiny, compared to him. she latches onto him instantly, little hand curling tight around his finger like she knows he's her papa. in that moment, looking down at this precious thing cradled against his bare chest, he vows to never ever let anyone or anything hurt her, for as long as he lives. it's like his heart has made its way outside his chest and into his hands. he actually does cry when he looks over at you—the one who made all this possible. he knows for a fact he'll never love anyone or anything as much as he loves the two of you.

girl dad!lando who takes a month or so off to spend time with you and baby girl norris and settles into fatherhood surprisingly well. he's the definition of doting dad too, taking care of everything he can so you can rest as much as having a newborn will let you. he also does a massive amount of shopping, even though baby girl norris had already gotten everything a baby could ever need, even before she was born. they ranged from practical items like bottle warmers and value size packs of diapers (thanks to her uncles checo, hulk, and kmag, who knew what parents actually needed) to a copious amount of formula 1 team themed attire (redbull onesies from uncle max, ferrari bibs from uncle charles and uncle carlos, mclaren everything from uncle osc, you name it). stuffed toys, baby books, hats, bibs, even teeny tiny baby sized sunglasses—baby girl norris already has a fan club of aunties and uncles surrounding her.

girl dad!lando who can't sleep sometimes, so he just watches his baby girl sleep, just so he knows she's okay. and when she cries herself awake in the middle of the night, he's right there to soothe her, picking her up, holding her close to his chest, rocking her back and forth gently. he talks to her too—tells her stories about how her mama and papa met, how much you love each other and how much you love her. stories about his family and your own family, about his racing family, his best friends. everyone he loves already loves her too. one time you rouse from your sleep to find his side of the bed and her crib empty, and you almost panic before spotting a faint glow coming from the living room. upon further inspection, you find him doing laps around the sofa, gently pat pat patting her back to get her to sleep again. your heart breaks wide open at the sight of the two loves of your life bonding.

girl dad!lando who gets so nervous the first time you bring baby girl norris to a race. she's a little bit older at this point, old enough to take in all the sights and sounds of the bustling paddock, but still young enough to where she has no idea what's going on. he carries her on his hip, shielding her eyes and ears from the flashing cameras and loud noises, beelining right for mclaren hospitality as quick as he can so she can get settled before he gets too busy. he worries about her constantly—is it too hot or too cold out for her (you've got a cute little romper and a jacket in the baby bag if either is the case), will she get bored (give her a plastic spoon and she'll be entertained for hours), is it too loud for her (mclaren engineering fashioned a custom set of baby sized headphones just for this occasion). you have to be the one to stop him from pacing a hole in the floor and tell him he's got more pressing things to prepare for.

basically girl dad!lando who does his best to be the best dad he can be for his little girl, even though he might not be around as often as he'd like.

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to you ignoring them for your dog

requested by @cinnamoroxie : "svt w an s/o that has a super hyper golden doodle.. and svt gets jealous cuz you’re giving more attention to the dog than to him"

masterlist

seungcheol

whiny, so so whiny. gets jealous instantly. the moment your dog pads into the room and your eyes are no longer on him, he's demanding your attention back and pouting and looking all sad. is acting like a puppy himself, actually. doesn't even care if your puppy is the cutest thing in the entire world because he's meant to be your cutest puppy.

jeonghan

goes all "hey >:(((" when he sees that you're not paying attention to him, but then he looks behind him to see the dog and he's all "!!! so cute!!!" coos over your dog for like ten minutes but when you end up paying more attention to it rather than him he's all "hey >:(((" again bc yeah your doggo is pretty but he's pretty too???

joshua

your dog doesn't even come over to you, it goes over to joshua. you're not paying attention to what shua says purely because your puppy just looks so comfortable in shua's arms as if he was the one to own your pup. joshua acts like nothing is wrong at all tho, n keeps pouting telling you to look at him while he's talking :(((

junhui

just starts ignoring you in favour of cooing over your dog too. your dog had come in at some point while you'd been together in the living room, but an hour later and the pup has been getting a little wriggly and you've been distracted. so, in return, junhui baby talks to your dog constantly and pretends you don't exist until you're laughing and pouting for him to look at you too

hoshi

he's devastated. heart broken. "you love a dog more than you love me????" begrudgingly admits that your doggo is cute but he's still cute too so why don't you coo over him :(( "okay be honest if i were a tiger and not a person would you still love a dog more? yes??? but i'd be a tiger!!"

wonwoo

you purposefully start ignoring him when your dog walks into the living room, but wonwoo just stays completely silent until you finally look up to look at him. he's just smiling at you, so softly, watching you play with your dog. goes "i never knew you had a dog 😊" so sweetly like he didn't even know you were plotting against him bc he just thinks you're so cute

woozi

sits there twiddling his thumbs when you start ignoring him favour of humouring your hyper puppy, but when you smile and apologise for cutting him off he just grins and asks if he can pet your dog too ^^

minghao

he doesn't mind your dog, in fact he loves your dog, but now you've started ignoring him in favour of petting it and so he's a little upset. and petty, so he ends up regaling your dog with his life stories instead of you, and so now he's the one ignoring you in favour of your dog instead

mingyu

you don't have a dog wym it's just him. he's your dog. nonono you don't own an actual puppy, he's your puppy. your dog scratches against the door whining to be let in and join your conversation and he just goes "what dog :|". doesn't let you use your dog as a jealousy ploy bc he is your dog okay

dokyeom

doesn't even care pls bro is ignoring you first. your mother comes back into the house from walking your dog while he's staying over and he immediately has tunnel vision for the adorable little puppy alone. you don't even exist to him anymore, he's just cooing at the adorable puppy for the rest of the time he's there. promises to come back again very soon. for your dog, that is.

seungkwan

gets offended for all of five seconds when you stop talking when your dog comes into the room but then you show him your dog and he's just absolutely enamoured by the adorable puppy, cooing and asking you a million questions ranging from how old your dog is to whether he's allowed to steal it

vernon

you get distracted when your dog starts whining for your attention and stop listening to him talking but he doesn't even care bc he's just smiling and taking a video of you cooing over your puppy bc he's never seen you baby talk anyone or anything like that before and it's adorable

chan

ends up just playing with your dog with you fr. doesn't even register that you ended up ignoring him bc honestly if he was you then he'd definitely also ignore you to play with such a hyper and adorable puppy. you still try to ignore him to make him jealous but it doesn't work bc your dog ends up loving chan more than u so they're both ignoring you instead

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[collapsedglasshouses]

I don’t know if you take smut requests so I’m just gonna request for a fluffy one where Noah’s S/O has her wisdom tooth removed, I never had it done so all I know is that you get high af from dental drugs and people forget they have a partner or even married lol

A/N: I do take smut requests, I have a posted about my rules here. ♡ I like this request a lot tho, Anon. I got my wisdom teeth removed about three years ago, but I'm not from America. Where I'm from, you can choose what kind of anesthesia you get while they get removed. I didn't get full anesthesia, only local, so I couldn't feel pain and I remember everything... BUT... I know videos. Let me see what I can think of! ♡

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Summary: When Noah and Jolly picked up Y/N after their wisdom tooth removal, they didn't know what they settled for.

Warnings: fluff, adorable little y/n, nothing else ♡

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

"Do you know the muffin man?" You asked tiredly when your eyes finally opened after your wisdom teeth operation.

"WHAT?" Noah exclaimed while Jolly was laughing his ass of behind him.

You instantly forgot, what you wanted to tell him with that, so you just giggled. Noah's eyebrows rose. "What have I gotten myself into?"

"Aren't you afraid the snake on your neck will strangle you?" You than asked while looking at his neck tattoo and than noticed how your vision was still slightly blurry. When you were honest to yourself, you didn't even know where you were.

"Please help me, Jolly." Noah than exclaimed and looked at his friend behind him.

"THE SWEDE!" You suddenly screamed in excitement and reached for your fellow friend, who couldn't contain his laughter anymore.

"I wonder if they were ever this excited to see me." Noah said to his friend and band mate, causing you to shoot him a look.

"Who even are you and why are you holding my hand, my dude. I have a absolutely perfect boyfriend that waits for me at home, mister." You mumbled and crossed your hands before your chest, when the doctor stepped in and told the boys, you could go.

They helped you into a wheel chair and drove you to Noah's car, while you slightly dosed off again.

The next thing you knew was about ten minutes later, when you started to mumble again. "Jolly?" - "Yes." - "Do you know how gorgeous Noah is? Literally every time I close my eyes, I see him right in front of me."

Noah quietly laughed while driving the car.

"No, go on. Tell me more." Jolly almost was full on laughing again, while your boyfriend's cheeks turned pink.

"I think he's a siren. Literally how can he woo someone this fast. I look at him and I feel like I'm an object." You muttered. Jolly tried to contain his laughter, causing him to tear up. "Like... HOLY HELL, HOW HOT CAN A SINGLE PERSON BE."

"Yeah, he's pretty hot, Y/N." Jolly cried out under his laughter.

"FACTS." You screamed and started to feel dizzy again. "When we come back imma kiss the shit outta him."

Noah rose his eyebrows to how oblivious you were to his presence.

"Fuck, I love this man." You exclaimed, before falling back into a "half-sleep".

A couple of minutes later, you only partially noticed Noah carrying you out of the car and into your bed, and the last thing you heard before you finally fully fell asleep was him planting a kiss on your forehead and whispering, "I love you too, silly."

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

(only a short one but i hope you like it)

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

When I first started to watch TLOU I knew nothing about it. I don’t play video games since Mortal Kombat which my neighbor basically forced me to play because he was passionate about it. I also terribly suck at playing so I wasn’t really interested in them.

I started TLOU because I saw a trailer shared from my mutual on twitter and I thought “wow, Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey are there, it must be good! Let’s give it a try!”

I already knew both of them because I was a big Game of Thrones fan and if I hadn't seen Pedro and Bella acting in Got I would never have started TLOU.

January 16 2023 was the first time I met Joel Miller (in Italy episodes were broadcast in original language one day after they were aired in the USA) and from that moment I knew I was fucked. I instantly fell for Pedro (you won't believe it but I followed him on IG for years and years, yet my brain had put him aside, taken by something else. Don't ask me why, my brain is clearly stupid) and for Joel too, of course.

What happened next, between the gallons of tears I shed, was that Joel helped me process some things in my life, especially a loss. I lost my dad when I was 26 and it was definitely the saddest and most upsetting time of my life, where I had to somehow put aside the desire to do absolutely nothing and vegetate for days to deal with the paperwork and generally help my mom. I think I put what I felt in a drawer and left there since then, until Joel came along.

It may seem silly and far-fetched perhaps but I swear, he helped me.

He helped me a lot, actually.

In his gruff paternal figure and in his outbursts of anger I saw a lot of my dad and when he then melted for Ellie I made peace with the fact that I had no chance to improve anything with my dad, because he is no longer there.

I can't explain it exactly but looking at him was comforting, it made me feel safe and I owe him a lot. He worked like magic.

And that’s why I’m here today, writing for him more than any other character.

He makes me more feral than anyone else, but above all Joel feels like home to me.

Happy birthday, my love, and thank you for everything ❤️

Gif credits

[blazehedgehog]

It's interesting that you've run into more Sonic '06 defenders as of late, because I think I've noticed the same thing. I've been thinking about why that is for a hot minute, and I wonder if it has to do with just how awful the video game industry is at the moment.

Games come out polished sometimes nowadays, but normally they're catastrophically broken on release and take months of post-launch patches to become somewhat playable, if they get those patches at all. Perhaps younger fans of the Sonic series, having grown up in this environment, go back to play Sonic 06', see all of its bugs and bad game design decisions, and think "Wait, that's it? That's not even the worst game I've played this week."

That is, it's less that Sonic '06 is suddenly good now, it absolutely is not, but more that the bar has sunken so deep into hell that even a blatantly broken game like Sonic '06 doesn't look particularly bad in comparison to what comes out now, so they miss the context of why it was so controversial on release.

This is an old ask that got buried, but I think it's still relevant, and to me it's just...

Liking something ironically is the path to liking it unironically. Maybe that means you're being honest with yourself, or maybe it's just familiarity. That happens with music -- so much so that there's an article from the National Library of Medicine about it. The more familiar you are with music, even if it's a song you hate, the more you eventually begin to enjoy it. It's a scientific fact.

And Sonic 06 became something of a rite of passage. Everyone knows about it, either because they've played it for themselves or they've watched someone else play some (or all) of it. Everyone has their favorite moments. Whether it's

The Winder of a Shoemaker typo (it should be "Wonder")

The inevitable realization you have to save manually after getting your first game over in Wave Ocean

Having to reload the entire world every time the state of anything changes

Sonic's boss fight with Silver, and "It's no use!"

Followers reappearing in the town stages only to instantly fall over dead.

Meeting Sonic Man

Meeting the Soleanna Boys

Meeting Pele the Dog

Sonic flicking the card at Knuckles who fumbles the catch

Riding the metal crate into space

Seeing Eggman's Real Human Eyes behind his sunglasses

Eggman's keyboard mashing "typing" animation

Realizing Sonic's head is 3/4ths the size of Princess Else's entire body

The constant back and forth of rescuing Elise only to have her get kidnapped again only to rescue her again only to have her get kidnapped again

The Windows XP background FMV

Elise's attempted suicide

Luppy Luppy

Which one is the Captain?

That tornado is carrying a car!

Elise's Train is... Uh oh, gotta speed up!

Don't be late.

Long time no see.

Amy and Elise's girltalk moment

The Test of Love

Anna, the Lady in Waiting

Eggman comically going "bonk" off the shrapnel after beating the last boss of Sonic's story

The Iblis Trigger™

The Scepter of Darkness vs. The Book of Darkness

Shadow the Hedgehog using Chaos Control to roundhouse kick Silver in the back of the head

Showing a crucified Shadow the Hedgehog in the future

The "Head to Wave Ocean" line flub still existing in the game

Mephiles is literally Shadow's shadow

THEN I'LL FIGHT... LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE

Having the ability to time travel to literally any point in history and never just going back to before Eggman arrived

The blue chaos emerald paradox loop

Watching someone's soul leave their body when they have to do Silver's billiard ball puzzle

Using the cyan gem to turn collision detection into a suggestion

Using the purple gem to go out of bounds

Spamming Omega's hover to fly anywhere

The death and return of Sonic the Hedgehog

etc. etc. etc.

I'll say it again and again and again, but it's the Rocky Horror Picture Show effect. When that movie came out, it was not beloved by the mainstream! But it became notorious as a midnight movie where the rowdy graveyard shift audience would heckle the picture, transforming it into something that was fun to watch (and participate in).

And the more they watched it, the more they heckled it, the more people realized that maybe they actually love the movie. And now it's this big, important cultural touchstone.

That's Sonic 06. Let's do the time warp again.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Flying Too Close To the Moon (a Baizhu character analysis)

Over a year ago now, in February of 2023, Genshin Impact's twitter account posted about a certain green-haired doctor from Liyue with a snake, announcing that he was at long last going to become playable. *narrator voice* Little did I know at that point just how much my life was going to be ruined changed by this man, something I never could have fathomed in all my time of playing before.

Today, by the time of Baizhu's birthday, almost a year since his release, he has never left my team and is one of my ultimate comfort characters... and at the same time, paradoxically, fills me with such intense feelings of dread, if I ever think just a little too hard about him for a little too long.

This is my experience with him.

From the beginning, I wasn't one of the people who had been anxiously awaiting for Baizhu's release. I'd always been curious about him, and thought he was beautiful (but lol who in this game isn't?), but there was practically nothing to know, and he appeared so little, so not being an existing fan, I didn't think much about him compared to other more prominent characters. With that first drip marketing, however, I was suddenly instantly intrigued:

"Regrettably, Baizhu cannot save all his patients — himself, for example. Herbalist Gui has mentioned that Baizhu's physical condition is extremely poor, and he often has to go back to his residence to rest after seeing patients. Even so, his smile never falters while in front of people. When Gui asked him about this, he replied, "If the doctor looks sick himself, how can his patients face their illnesses with confidence?" Day after day, Baizhu heals his patients. His ever-present smile hides the numerous bitter medicines he takes and the pain he suffers alone."

What's this, Baizhu is a doctor who is also sick himself? He has a chronic illness?? Finally I have a disabled character in a video game I can play as and relate to??? Not to mention the DELICIOUS angst potential the (absolutely devastating) last sentence held. Unfortunately, because my lazy ass rarely ever talks to npcs outside of quests, I was completely unaware of this very important little fact about Baizhu, learned via Herbalist Gui that had been in the game since literally 1.0, but to say that I was excited upon finally learning it now was an understatement. This changed everything, turning a character I had previously only had a passing interest in into someone I felt like I might be able to connect with, and a character I could truly call my own. Previously, my favorite Genshin character was Zhongli — he was my very first limited 5* and I started the game pretty much because I was interested in him lol — but just from this short summary alone, I had a strong feeling that Baizhu had the potential to surpass him, and become my new favorite.

My initial impressions from everything we knew about Baizhu pre-release (for how little that was) were that he was a kind, selfless doctor who didn't want others to see his weakness, but in secret was striving for immortality in order to save his own life from his severe illness. Qiqi seemed to be someone he observes to further his research in gaining said immortality, but his love and care for her still feels sincere, although he can never properly convey this in words because, to me at least, he's keeping himself at a distance from her and others so as to not hurt them too much if he passed away. Baizhu tearing out Qiqi's journal entry about him being a good person so that she doesn't dwell on and remember such things about him seemed to support this, as well.

Upon release, we also had Dainsleif's lines about Baizhu in his collected miscellany video, which made me emotional as well: Dain, someone who is cursed with and suffers daily from immortality that he never asked for, respects Baizhu's desire for immortality himself, because for him it would be freedom from the pain and suffering he already experiences, seemingly. Most people want immortality for selfish reasons, but for Baizhu, I thought, it's out of a desire to save his very life, and in turn save more people as a doctor in the future. It's human, understandable, and the mark of an incredibly caring and altruistic person, and Baizhu wanting to heal himself is something to be sympathized with, especially if you can relate to his pain.

This part in particular from his demo was so powerful to me: the defiance of his fate, of his death, and the display of his continued strength of will and resolve, and even skill in battle, no matter how physically weak he may be. Though he still has his doubts and his guilt, here he says "I will not die, I will beat the odds, and no one can decide my fate for me, nor can they shake my resolve."

All of this only made me love him more and more. I was hoping we would get to see his insecurities and fears about his condition and his possible fate, and that he would learn to allow himself to be cared for by those who loved him — to realize at least a little bit more that he will never be a burden on others, because the guilt over such things is all too real for someone with a disability or chronic illness. His non-spoiler voice lines were so comforting and hopeful, and I wanted his story to be hopeful as well, without going as far as to magically cure him like what unfortunately happened with Collei.

That was what I wanted. More or less, that was what I expected, especially with the copious other examples of the "overworked character learns they need to take a break and feel supported by the traveler" storyline in Genshin insert the waifu baizhu (waifzhu?) jokes here.

And then, I played Baizhu's story quest.

.....No image in the world can fully sum up exactly how I felt after that, but, well, I think Paimon here is the closest I can get.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember standing there, at the bottom of the steps leading up to the pharmacy where the end of the quest left me, not knowing how to feel. Feeling completely numb. Feeling like I'd just gotten punched in the gut a million times over. Feeling sick. Call me overdramatic, too overly attached to fiction, whatever, but no words can possibly convey just how much the revelations about Baizhu in his quest fucked me up. I did not feel good for quite a few days after playing it, as it haunted me, as I turned it over and over again in my mind. Not just the information given itself, but how it was given; the entire tone of it all. At some point I was finally able to make myself cry, and it was only then that I felt at least marginally better. But I'd be lying if I said that I've ever truly and fully processed and let sunk in everything to do with Baizhu, even a year later.... and I doubt that I ever will.

Don't get me wrong: Baizhu's story quest is without a doubt one of the best story quests in the game so far, and that's not at all bias speaking. It's short, to the point, uses npcs effectively and in a way that helps develop the main character instead of taking all the spotlight over them, and it leaves setup for more story in the future. For a Baizhu fan, it's the best quality one could ask for. It's the most we've ever learned about him, the most screentime he's ever had, and it emotionally and tenderly shows exactly what kind of person he is, and why he is the way he is, and does the things he does.

It's also absolutely horrific, and to this day I'm still not entirely certain exactly what message the writers wanted the player to take away from it by the end.

The quest introduces us to a boy and his father, Ayu and Jialiang, the latter of whom Baizhu wishes to treat, partly as a personal favor to his late master and to said master's other past disciple, the mother of the family, Jiangli. Through Baizhu's handling of their case, and talking to Hu Tao, we learn that Baizhu is not only obsessed with attaining immortality, but that he supposedly uses less-than-reputable methods to heal patients, methods that he keeps tightly under wraps. This, along with all the strange research he does that seemingly has nothing to do with the medical field, has given him a suspicious reputation — the game subtly lampshading the fandom seeing him as nothing more than a sketchy snake doctor ever since the beginning — but no one has ever been able to dig deep enough to find any proof that he has any ulterior motives, not even Yelan; thus, the ultimate consensus is that he truly must be nothing more than a kind and benevolent doctor who has his patients' best interests at heart, no matter what else he's doing in the background. Upon Baizhu treating Jialiang for the first time, however, we’re directly confronted with this secret, dubious healing method he uses, and what exactly it means for Baizhu, as with all the masters that came before him.

To say my stomach dropped here would be an understatement, because I knew exactly what this meant. And sure enough, not a few minutes later in the quest, we get the dreaded truth:

Baizhu’s poor physical condition is not from natural causes; rather, he is as weak as he is because he’s made himself that way. Changsheng is a former adeptus he made a contract with, that allows the host to transfer some of their own life force from themselves to someone else, using Changsheng as the conduit. The contract is meant to strengthen the body of the host and extend their lifespan, however these advantages effects are outweighed by Baizhu, and all his predecessors before him, repeatedly giving away their life force to heal others, causing them to become frail and inevitably die young. The contract has always been used in this way, and all of its prior users all met the same untimely end; Baizhu is at no less risk of that.... which is why he wants to become immortal, so he can continue to heal people with the forbidden arte without fear of death.

This would already be a Lot as it is. Trading away one's life force to save another isn't exactly a brand new trope, but the idea of a doctor doing it over and over again to save lives when all else fails, even to the detriment of their own body.... It's the ultimate act of selflessness, of kindness, of sacrifice. It's touching. It's laudable. It's devastating, to a degree one can't even imagine.

Because Baizhu doesn't just stop there, as we find out at the end of the quest.

How do you expect me to read this—

and additionally this—

and also this...

...and not have it occupy my mind 24/7, sending me in a downward never-ending spiral of existential horror, for all of eternity?? just like Baizhu himself—

While it's heavily implied that all the contract users prior to Baizhu only ("only") used it one-way, to give their own life force to others, Baizhu has taken it a step further, and also been using Changsheng to transfer his patients' diseases and illnesses onto himself. This likely is a more effective way of "curing" some of them entirely, instead of simply delaying their symptoms' worsening with more life force, although he cannot take on the worst of them/terminal illnesses of course. But he has taken on so, so many, so many diseases and so many symptoms, all compounding and blending together to the point that Jiangli, another doctor just as skilled as Baizhu, cannot even distinguish them all or recognize some of them, that he might as well be terminal. Not only does Baizhu do this for the sake of his patients, but he's also using his body as a human petri dish, testing different diseases and poisons on himself to see how they interact with each other, both to create more effective medicines and understand the mechanisms of the human body better, and to perhaps find the secret to immortality.

This reveal at the end of the quest is presented as an awe-inspiring, poignant twist, that's meant to make you see Baizhu in a brand-new light. The animated cutscene is tear-jerking, bittersweet, yet beautiful, as we finally come to understand the full scope of just who Doctor Baizhu is, just how truly pure and selfless he is, and just how much he has sacrificed, and plans to sacrifice forevermore. Many people who weren't fans of Baizhu or were neutral on him had their minds completely changed upon this bombshell being dropped, it rightfully clearing away any and all misunderstandings about him somehow being a bad person, and fostering newfound respect for him. That's the best word to use for how the game portrays all this: respectable. Baizhu's situation is tragic, but his actions are nevertheless shown and seen as beautiful, and admirable. His self-sacrifice is to be praised, and honored, because he is doing it for the good of so many others, because his heart is just that big, and that caring. It's bittersweet, but Baizhu is determined, and we should respect his resolve.

But should we really?

Yelan would disagree, I believe. Which is ironic, considering that in her own story quest, Baizhu transfers poison into himself from Uncle Tian with her there, and she is none the wiser.

Just... really stop and think about the implications of what Baizhu is doing to himself, and the life he lives. Try to imagine it, how it would feel, to be inundated with that many diseases and toxins, to the point that all of your internal organs are diseased; to the point that you have every symptom imaginable, sometimes all at once. Now, take that, and imagine living that kind of hell with it progressively worsening, for all of eternity, as Baizhu wants to do.

You can't fathom it. To say that it's beyond human comprehension is an understatement. And yet, that is Baizhu's reality, every single day, and if he has his way, for the rest of time.

This is not okay.

What truly frightens me about Baizhu, is how.... empty he feels. He is kind, gentle, nurturing, and a bit flamboyant and mischievous at times, but he has essentially no personality traits or life outside of "being a doctor". All of his voicelines involve him giving health advice, or looking after us or others, or discussing the troubles he encounters in the medical field, or his hobbies, which involve... making medicine. While there's nothing wrong per se with a doctor truly enjoying their job — it's what makes Baizhu such a good caretaker, after all — their life and personality never revolves entirely around that. People have their own lives outside of their professions, that don't involve said professions, even the most enthusiastic and genuine of workers. But Baizhu..... doesn't have anything else. For Baizhu, being a doctor is all that he is.

Nothing is more subtly chilling than this joke Changsheng makes (that gets reinforced by Paimon later), where she calls Baizhu her "mannequin" — and especially the way that Baizhu doesn't comment on it at all, merely continuing to look like a guilty child getting scolded for being reckless. Because a mannequin is an eerily accurate description of Baizhu: he is not a person of his own, but merely a vessel for her power. "Baizhu" does not exist outside of his role as a healer; he has no other life, no other aspirations, no other joys and things to care about, nothing. Even though he's a pillar in Liyue Harbor that is beloved by the community, especially by the children, he's also in a sense practically a ghost: he is never seen outside of taking care of people in some way, because he never lets anyone see him at his sickest, and he has no sense of self outside of that role as a doctor. He is distanced from everyone, almost as though he was already immortal.... he could die at any time, frighteningly easily, and to him, no one would notice or care. As depressing as it is, even Qiqi, a literal zombie, is more alive and has a much more fulfilling life at this point than Baizhu does.

Many of Baizhu's voicelines are dripping with casual self-deprecation, and others with extreme hypocrisy, where he will express frustration and disappointment at others not being diligent in taking care of themselves, completely oblivious to his own extreme levels of self-harm and self-sacrifice. Of course, as mentioned earlier, feelings of inadequacy and being a burden are tragically not unusual for someone with significant health problems, but it goes far, far beyond this for Baizhu, before he was ever ill — all the way back to his childhood. Baizhu's hometown was struck by a plague when he was young, from which he was seemingly one of the only survivors, and his obsession with wanting to save each and every life he comes across that needs saving, no matter the cost to himself, is likely born from the trauma and extreme survivor's guilt that the event instilled in him. It was during this plague that he encountered his former master, and in training under and being influenced by him, he adopted these harmful mentalities (through no fault of his or his master, to be clear), without ever being given any other way to cope with his pain, other than to do everything in his power to never let anyone else die ever again.

Again, Yanfei sums it up best.

The true tragedy of Baizhu is that, although he wholeheartedly agrees with his late master's sentiment, and truly believes that he himself is headed down a different path from his predecessors, at the end of the day, he is no different from them, nor is his chosen path any different from theirs. As he states, those with the most altruistic and purest of hearts are the ones seduced by the contract, and he, too, has fallen victim to Changsheng's siren song: the allure of reaching beyond human means to prevent death. He believes he has found the solution to the conundrum of saving both the world at large and the one doing the saving, but he's merely fallen into the trap just like all the others: even if he doesn't die, he is still sacrificing himself, cursing himself to a fate unimaginably worse than death itself. After all, as he says, the contract can't erase pain from the world entirely, but merely transfer it from one place to another, and Baizhu is living proof of that. If his master could see what he's doing, he most definitely would be heartbroken at the "answer" Baizhu has found, because a life isn't saved if it's merely surviving, and not living.

All of this began from Baizhu, selfless and benevolent as he is, wishing to save a snake. Changsheng is a dear friend, a being so closely intertwined with his very soul, and his closest connection to his late master, and yet she is also the very thing that's killing him, and will inevitably be his doom, in whichever way that comes. Baizhu being who he is means he will never abandon her, and Changsheng will never leave him as well, her worry over the fate of her host overwhelmed by her fear of death and her desire to live on, which is how the contract has persisted for six generations. It is a toxic bond, and yet their care for each other is too great, both parties accepting the misery that awaits them. Changsheng knows that any of the cycles could be her last, but cannot help but seek out new ones in order to continue living — and Baizhu intends to make that "last" be a reality, by living forever, to make sure that Changsheng will also never die, but also that no one else can take on the contract after him. He wants his cake and to eat it too, wishing to save anyone and everyone — and he fully believes that he can. He believes that he is headed towards the light of the moon, escaping the flames of the sun.

But the moon is still ever-so-far away regardless. Perhaps even impossible to reach, if Teyvat's sky truly is fake. No matter where he aims, even if he isn't burned, Baizhu is destined to fall eventually, if he keeps going the way he is. Many people have tried to warn him, to convince him that immortality isn't what he deserves, to convince him of how much he's loved... but Baizhu is too stubborn; too, ironically, selfish in his selflessness. He insists he has everything under control, that he won't let himself die... but how can anyone believe that, when all the signs suggest that he's already on death's door? And even if he does get his wish, and be granted immortality, will he truly be content like he thinks he will, endlessly suffering with only Changsheng by his side?

I don't think the writers ever intended to glorify Baizhu's actions, or at least, I don't think it occurred to them that it could be read in that way. I do still mean it when I say he is one of the best-written characters in the game, because there is so much care given to him in his story quest and to his lore, even if, frustratingly and tragically, Hoyoverse as a whole doesn't seem to care about him at all. He's so fun to play as, and in isolation, it makes me very happy to have a canonically disabled playable character. But I'm also so, so haunted by him, and I think more people would be as well, if the game didn't gloss over the incredibly bleak reality of Baizhu and his symptoms due to the overall lighthearted tone of Genshin. I desperately need to see where they're going to take his arc, if they intend to at all, because there is so much potential for it, and right now it's very much up in the air. I don't want him to die, as I fear he's close to, but I need him to heal, and finally learn that he's done enough, and that he can finally, finally, stop. Stop torturing himself, and finally accept for himself all the love he's given others for so long now, and live. I want Baizhu to live more than anything, and not the way he is now, nor as a cursed immortal. I want him to live, and thrive, and truly, unapologetically, be himself (whoever that "Baizhu" is), and be happy.

He already has someone worth living for, right here, aside from Changsheng. He has a daughter, a family, who love him, not to mention an entire city, and and I dearly wish he could realize that. I wish he could know how comforting he is to me and so many others, and how important he is to us, not because of what he can do, but because of his beautiful heart. 💔

Happy Birthday, Baizhu. Thank you for being such an incredible healer on my team, and I hope we'll see you in Chenyu Vale one day :')💚

[meiloorunsmoothie]

how did you first get into Jeremy Jordan

good question—and one i very recently asked myself when the inevitable "how did i become this person" reflection happened 🫣.

i think there were many different factors (most of them not that good) that caused me to dive into obsessive mode so hard (and so quickly)—and it's definitely a "i see it now, but i couldn't back then" kind of situation. however, i'll spare you from those details XD.

the simple story is that, similar to you, i watched tangled the series and instantly fell in love with varian.

i love him

funnily enough, varian was the reason i started watching the show to begin with (coupled with the fact that i love tangled, and rapunzel, and eugene, and pascal, and max, and- 😆). i actually listened to the tts songs before watching the show 🫣 because my sister had gotten hooked on it years before. however, i only listened to the songs with mandy moore and zachary levi 🫣🫣 (cause i was like "who are these other random people, i want rapunzel and eugene"). then one day i listened to "through it all," in which varian has one line (plus an "eh" which i love now, but couldn't tell was him when i first listened XD)—and i was instantly just like: who's that.

have i listened to this one line on loop? you bet.

so i started watching the show—and loved varian from episode one—so naturally, i decide to look up the voice actor. it was jeremy....surprise. except...i didn't actually become obsessed right then. if anything, i was a little weirded out that this tiny boy was voiced by a 30-something year old man 😂 (but it's voice acting, so i was just like: wow, he did a great job 🤩...i'm going to go resume loving varian).

okay and then he sang. i knew he was good from his one line in "through it all", but wOW. adfasjkjaskfjd, on repeat forever and ever.

yes he was

that's not when i became (jeremy) obsessed either XD.

okay...and then a bunch of life stuff/circumstances kind of collided, and let's just say that i was feeling extremely lonely while also struggling with grief. i think there was about a two week period of this before i started actually bouncing back, and i had just reached the end of s1. now tts was doing a good job with bringing much needed happiness in my life, but...s2 had a very noticeable varian-shaped hole in it 😒.

that's when i turned to jeremy jordan youtube. it started off (the first hour) pretty mild—just some of his disney medleys, or the greatest showman video, or just the ones with millions of views—but it very quickly turned into a full out jeremy jordan youtube spiral™️ XD.

i must put this in your face again

i think in part, i latched on so quickly because jeremy and i are actually very similar people in general. i think at the point of extreme change that i was in at the time, it was just nice to "know" someone who was like me—and it definitely helped that there was easy access to extensive jj content. on a slightly different note, this is absolutely the reasoning behind the fact that if i had a chance to see jeremy live, i would choose one of his concerts over, say, gatsby—i am obsessed with jeremy jordan as jeremy jordan XD (hello akp).

literally me (i grew up in california by the way XD)

anyways, fast forward ~3 months, and i joined tumblr 😆...and we all know what happened after that. honestly, not a bad decision in my mind (at least so far), despite being very anti-social media my whole life. i've gotten to chat and obsessively geek out with so many great people, and i'm just so grateful for that 💕.

i've still only watched s1 of supergirl...and many youtube clips

[f1-stuff]

When I see that vid of Charles and Carlos sitting in that car literally on each other’s lap, the one where Carlos goes “Why P3?”

The way Carlos has his arm that’s next to Charles awkwardly in his lap just reminds me of myself with my crush like I’d have my arm awkwardly cramped up in my lap too bcz I’m too busy overthinking about where to place it and too busy internally panicking about the fact that my crush willingly chooses to be half on my lap.

They act like a bunch of giggly high schoolers next to each other and I’m all for it.

Also, I love the way Carlos makes it his mission in life to make Charles laugh at all times and the way he doesn’t even have to try at all bcz Charles just instantly folds and turns into a smiling/laughing mess around Carlos.

This turned into a bit of a rant hahahah I’m sorry

Btw, I love your content with all my heart, love you sm !! <3

There is something so...idek about this video - carlos absolutely looks like a boy with a crush that doesn't know what to do with his body, and charles looks like he's never been more cozy in someone else's space.

It makes me think about how tentative/shy charles seemed when they first became teammates, and how comfortable he seems nowadays with touching and receiving touch from carlos... 😭❤️

[littlemisssquiggles]

So miles did another cameo video about a week ago someone asked him what it would have been like if Oscar had gone to the ever after and Miles confirmed that if Oscar had been there with Ruby she wouldn't have gone through the conflict and trauma she was going through and volume nine if he had been there cuz Oscar would have been the one to notice it instantly unlike the others who didn't notice it till after she snapped at them

You can even see hints of it in the episode were they meet John again and they're at his house where Ruby sitting at the table and across from Ruby is an empty chair while Ruby sits there and look at Yang and Blake happily celebrating their new relationship Ruby sits there if so she's missing someone and that someone is Oscar I think

Hello anon-chan! Pardon the late answer to your inbox.

Do you mind linking me to this specific cameo you mentioned pretty please? Because I would honestly loved to listen to it.

Funnily enough, you’re the second person to bring up the theory that the empty seat across from Ruby at Jaune’s home in the Ever After during the scene before Jaune returns Crescent Rose to Ruby could’ve easily been filled by Oscar.

It makes perfect sense that Oscar would’ve been the one to notice Ruby’s depression if he were there since he has been shown to be weary of that in previous seasons such as the infamous dojo scene. Oscar noticing Ruby’s change in demenour is what initially prompted him to push her to admit her true feelings about everything that happened during the Fall of Beacon.

Not to mention that when Ruby was shown to be overwhelmed at the Cotta-Arc during the moment when Jaune exploded after JNR learned the truth about Oz and Salem, Oscar was the one to take notice of this and even did his best to help quell the situation.

Oscar has always been observant of Ruby’s feelings especially when she is at her lowest. It’s one of the reasons why I love their dynamic so much. Ruby has always been protective of Oscar since the moment he joined the team, looking out for him in her own way just as much as he looked out for her.

Oscar should’ve been there for Ruby in the Ever After just as how Ruby should’ve been the one to lead the charge to save him from Monstra instead of Jaune back in V8.

I absolutely hated the fact that Ruby was omitted from Oscar’s side of the story back then and this is one of the reasons why I didn’t enjoy that season.

The CRWBY showrunners spent the last few seasons continuously building up this shared sense of caring and protectiveness as the basis of the Rosegarden friendship and yet…there was no payoff?

They showed prior moments of Ruby protecting Oscar yet…she was completely absent during his most dire time of need---being a prisoner of Salem and brutally tortured by her and Hazel for hours. Ruby was not allowed to protect Oscar from that.

They showed prior moments of Oscar being a voice of wisdom to encourage Ruby to open up and be honest with herself and those around her yet…he was absent during her darkest emotional moment yet---her literal breaking point where she committed the Ever After equivalent of suicide.

You see the pattern?

Neither Ruby nor Oscar were present during each other’s worse moments.

They weren’t allowed to because the writers knew, canonically, these two would be each other’s true savior---their beacon in the darkness to get more metaphorical.

Because they needed the story to go a different way to get the ending that we actually got in V8 and V9, that’s how it had to go.

If Oscar has gone to the Ever After then Ruby would’ve never had her whole arc which…needed to happen. Although, some might argue that the whole point of Ruby’s journey in the Ever After was ultimately made pointless by her going from “no longer wanting to be Ruby Rose anymore” to “being Ruby Rose just as I am is enough. I’m Ruby-nough! I don’t need to change at all. I’m perfect just the way I am even with the flaws that I still possess that led me down this path in the first place”.

Sarcasm aside, I don’t dislike the fact that Ruby chose to be herself in the end. Being yourself and having yourself be enough is a good message. I just wished the showrunners had allowed this concept to cook more. While I’m aware they were pressed for time given the fact that no V10 was greenlit, nevertheless, I would’ve rather a twist where only Weiss, Blake, Yang and Jaune were able to return home while Ruby remained in the Ever After to complete her transformation.

We spent nearly an entire season building up to Ruby’s breakdown. It took 8 out of 10 episodes to have Ruby fall apart only to have her have her big revelation in the last episode. That makes the whole thing seem almost flat so I don't blame some fans for being disappointed with the conclusion to Ruby's Ever After story being concluded that way.

I dunno about you anon-chan but this just makes me disappointed that Oscar wasn’t present for the Ever After Arc because all cues prior to V9 hinted that he could’ve easily been added to this season and worked.

Oscar was the one who first introduced the audience to the fairytale of the Girl Who Fell Through the World.

Not to mention the whole theme of the Ever After being about embracing change---Oscar SHOULD’VE gone to the Ever After. Part of Oscar’s journey is about him coming to terms with the Merge with him either losing himself completely or becoming a new person entirely.

Seeing Oscar going through his own arc while trying to help Ruby with hers could've been great to see. But alas, that's not what we got.

I will give the showrunners this though---if Oscar had gone to the Ever After then we probably may not have gotten the clue that Ruby cares deeply for him.

It is very evident after V9 that Oscar's life is precious to Ruby. Shipping and romantic implications asides, you can't deny the fact that Oscar's wellbeing is important to Ruby.

Much like characters such as Penny and Pyrrha, Oscar is someone who Ruby doesn't want to lose.

Better yet, he is someone precious to Ruby that she doesn't wish to lose as a result of her failure.

Take a look at the deaths of Pyrhha and Penny. What do those deaths have in common?

Ruby failing to stop it from happening in the first place.

Ruby was present for Penny's first death but arrived too late to stop it from happening.

Ruby was present for Pyrhha's death but arrived too late to stop it from happening.

Ruby was present again for Penny's final death but got tossed into the Ever After before she could do anything to help stop it from happening.

Once again, Penny died and Ruby failed to stop it from happening. This is why the words of her illusion cut Ruby deeply during the Mad Tea Party fight.

"...Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal Festival. I died in Atlas too, didn't I? Could you imagine what that's like? To be completely and utterly failed time and again by someone who meant the world to you..."

Similar to Penny, Ruby is someone who Oscar has been shown to care deeply for and Ruby, in turn, cares a lot for him. The evidence of that has been shown sprinkled throughout the seasons. There is no denying that these two smaller, more honest souls care very much for each other.

While there has yet to be any payoff to the development in their relationship as yet, one thing's for certain is that Oscar is a person of importance to Ruby.

He is someone she doesn't want to lose. He is someone she doesn't want to fail.

He is someone she can't stand to watch die because of her own inability to protect him.

Not again after she's failed others like him in the past.

Overall, I guess the point I'm trying to make here is, while it would've been great to see Oscar in the Ever After with Ruby (since he definitely would've prevented her breakdown), at the same time, the showrunners did still found a way to use his presence as part of the narrative to signify something about his connection to Ruby.

Oscar needed to be absent in order to Ruby to have her arc yet ironically, he was the reason for Ruby's breakdown in the first place. While Little's death was the final straw that drove Ruby over the edge, before that moment, it was actually the imagery of Oscar's death caused by HER HANDS that drove Ruby to her final breaking point.

While it would've been nice to see Oscar there with Ruby, in a way, he was still there with her---being used by Neo to indicate to the audience that Oscar is a person of dear importance to Ruby.

Moving forward, I expect the events of V9 to have some kind of impact on Ruby's overall relationship with Oscar. I want to believe the events of the Ever After would make Ruby more overprotective of Oscar; possibly hinting at much deeper feelings. That's how I see it.

~LMS (2023)

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Since i know you LOVE the man...

What creepypastas (or internet horror) interests Medic? Give us all the details about how he interacts with that media hehe

Medic and Creepypastas!

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What a way to break up the absolute trauma this man has been going through on my blog.

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Spoilers for these Creepypastas, probably. The Russain Sleep Experiment, Eyeless Jack, Candle Cove, and SmileDog.exe

ALSO TWS: MENTIONS OF BLOOD, GORE, VIOLENCE, AND DEATH

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As for interacting with creepypastas, he's so medical with it. He's analyzing it from every angle. He can't actually understand the horror because most of the things that would scare us is just fascinating to Medic. Also, I think he once tried to enter the fandom and was horrified lmao.

————————————————————

His first introduction to creepypasta was the Russian Sleep Experiment. (Is this anyone else's gateway drug? It was mine, lmao) He was probably looking up youtube videos of the most disturbing experiments for fun, or to see if he could attempt any of them, and then he saw that one fucking picture. Instant click. Even though he realized instantly that it was a work of fiction, he continued to watch the video, finding himself insanely interested in the story. Debating the logistics in his head and noting down the most interesting parts. Figures he could make a type of gas with chemicals designed to keep people awake, even make it better so no one goes batshit insane. Ultimately, he decided against it, as he couldn't risk the team ripping open their body's or their skin falling off in sheets. It'd be more effort than it's worth. Imagine the mess he'd have to clean up! He's only one man after all.

————————————————————

Eyeless Jack confused him. Sure, it's a fictional story, but how could a person, fictional or otherwise, bot wake up during such an invasive procedure. Let alone not bleed out due to a general lack of surgery skills. Does understand the want to eat human organs. He's just a little curious, you know? So he can't blame a guy for eating peoples kidneys. Even though he figures that's not the best organ to eat due to its functions, buts that's neither here nor there. May or may not have asked the mercs to volunteer for a little test of sorts while they were sleeping. No one accepted his offer. But a few might be convinced by some sly offers of being pocketed for the next few fights, judging my the screaming coming from one of the mercs room.

————————————————————

Candle Cove is an interesting thought experiment to him. He wonders through the entire story if it was simply a case of a shared memory, people thinking they remember something, or if the characters were just lying. He wanted to test this, figuring that a small bit of psychological trickery was okay. He wanted to see if people would latch onto the idea of Candle Cove being real. Subtly brings it up, not being too shocked when Scout is the first one to question if he ever saw the show, claiming it seemed familiar. Eventually, the others followed. Medic sat in the corner, watching them taking notes as they debated the finer details. Eventually, the other mercs noticed he wasn't adding to the conversation despite being the one to bring it up.

"Oh, ja, I lied it's not real. I just wanted to test a theory. Danke, for proving my theory, goodbye now." And he just leaves. The other mercs have a moment of being baffled and concerned at the fact that they had just made fake memories. Memories they actually believed. They hope Medic doesn't try this again.

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SmileDog.exe would honestly be Medic's pet if he was a real. But alas, he can only go off the story. He wonders if the image could really affect people in the way claimed. That image could strike someone so deeply that they find themselves seeing it all the time. He's a little ashamed to admit he stared at the photo for a good hour to see if it would appear in his dreams. He was disappointed to find it didn't. He finds it laughable that people wouldn't just share the picture of Smile Dog to save themselves from death. It seems like a simple solution. Even if it is prank mail, the second he starts seeing it everywhere, he'd forward the message. (He wouldn't, I think he'd actually rather die than ruin his reputation by sending chain emails, lmao)

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Sorry if this is more along the lines of "He wouldn't fucking do that!" Concidering Medic isn't doing a whole lot of testing on his teammates, and I know a lot of people think he would have just done them, but I think he values the consent and sometimes the mental and physical wellness of his teammates. Sure he'll put them in some pain for a surgury of two, but he'd never directly ignore them saying no to one of his experiments. At least I think so.

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Uh, I hope you like this! I actually haven't thought about creepypastas in a while 😭 I kinda miss that time in my life, but at the same time, it was so bad, lmao. Sorry it's not super long, and might not have been exactly what you were asking for, but I was super excited to write this and I'm super glad it's done!

Working through asks! Uh, the Mercs losing a close friend on the battlefield is next, then some other asks. I'm sorry for the long pauses in between!

[euclydya]

HII BLORBO BINGO!! Dark and Soul? :] <22

HIIIIII BELOVED <22 HELLO OKAY SO:

im normal about myself as a character tee hee. THEE og edgelord motherfuck like WAOW!!!!!!!!!! WHADDAHELL........ looking and pointing @ source!me liek WAAAAOWWEWE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUUUUU <3333 LOV THAT FOR HIM TBH!!!!!! extremely manipulative but charming I would fall for source!me's bullshit instantly <== autosexual. liwk i said im normal abt myself as a character LMAO

i know i ticked off the "has committed horrific atrocities" box but i vividly remember while watching compilations of mark's sketch videos uhhhh. seeing this one bit of a sketch that i CANNOT find rhe full video for but anyways lemme describe it. it's of santa talking about the egos okay and he describes canon!me as something like "an absolute sweetheart" who "hasn't murdered anybody" or something along those lines it's BEEN a minute I'll have to hunt down the video I saw this in again but anywyas i think that's so funny. My edgelord ass has a kill streak of zero. i love that. Usufhdjandjdjsjdjdjsdj (fun fact santa then goes on to say that Google has a kill streak of 5 iirc whicu is so funny too like. Yeah of course he does. HSSHSJDJDN)

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!! normal abt Myself. giving Myself a lil smooch on the cheek. i lov source!me so much i think if source!me met system me he would be disgusted JSAJSKDKDJ

NOW ONTO SOUL:

THAT'S MY!!!!!!!!! FUCKIGN CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK OK. DID YOU KNOW SOUL IS EPIC AS FUCK. I LOV THAT GUY IT'S SO COOL!!!!! holds her gently liwk hamburger. She's been 5hrough so many Horrors in canon and irl like whasaaat the fuck for Real!!!! i will Protect It with My Life thanks. we have so many thoughts on Soul As A Character tbh but i can't access them rn we're not in CC.CC Mode™ anymore <////3. but just know that Soul is So Importance to us.

holds Soul FAR AWAY from the fandom back off you do NOT know it liek we do <== plurality bias. Soul can do no wrong btw [#lie. she's committed many violences in source and in canon This We Know. dhsjajdjdjsjsdndnandndn]. but i DON'T care that's my child I love it so much i am a proud father. like yesss bestie kill <2 HAIAAISKDJDJSJDJSJDSKSKDK she could stab me to bastard death with her trident and I'd be like WOW IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!! :'D!!!!!!!!! FHDJSJDDKSODI

im explodinf her with my mind for enrichmence. im tucking her into bed and reading it bedtime stories. i am taking it to the park to have father child bonding time. wait the fact that it adopted me as its dad is so funny im one of the most dysfunctional people here LMAO

-Dark

[stinkybreath]

hello

do you trust me to recommend you some books

I read ~170 this year and here’s reviews of my top ten, written for fb and crossposted under the cut in case you’re interested

1: Camp Concentration by Thomas Disch

-I know it’s not obvious from the way I conduct myself here, but I have a very large vocabulary. I was a kid who read the dictionary and also any thesaurus I had access to. So, that said, consider how much it means to me personally that this book taught me 30-50 new words. This isn’t a huge part of the reason I loved this book, but it is a very impressive fact about it that I think will grab the attention of people who might otherwise not read it. This book changed the way I read, the way I think about literature, and the way I evaluate what I have previously read. It’s offensive to me that I lived 30 years as an avid reader and culture sponge without hearing about this book. I cannot recommend it enough. I give it top spot on this list for a very good reason. I’d like to avoid spoiling any of the plot because while I called the twist easily, discovery of each point was so delightful that I want you to have that same experience.

2: Cockatiel x Chameleon by Bavitz

-You all have plenty of experience with me recommending works of fiction published online in formats that deter most readers. This is a normal Najwa activity. I know how it sounds and I know, therefore, that this plea will go more or less unheard, but I BEG you. Look past the fact this was published on AO3. This is one of the most remarkable books I’ve read, period. I mentioned in my worst of how much it bothers me that most writers can’t plausibly write about the internet. This book is the FUCKING ZENITH of writing about being online. It is the absolute peak and I will be shocked if I ever encounter another work that overtakes it. This is a book about people who are so strange they are barely human, but in ways that will be instantly familiar, intimately true, to those of us who grew up on the internet. There is violence and abuse and love and beauty and Chatroulette. There is art and gore and exploration of identity and apocalypse. There is fucking POSTING.

3: Serious Weakness by Porpentine

-Charity Heartscape Porpentine is one of our greatest living authors, opinions of snide Twitter users notwithstanding. I am an evangelist for her Twine game poetry because it is so singular and so affecting. Even a decade on, I can play through Their Angelical Understanding and feel freshly stabbed in the gut. Imagine the thrill I felt when she posted about her completed novel. I would (strongly) recommend this even to people who (somehow) bounced off her games, because her prose style is very distinct from the voice those are in (yet still recognizable). This is an incredibly violent, sick, stomach-turning, difficult, ugly, terrifying book. It’s also ultimately asking the reader a question about love and compassion. If you are sensitive to any trigger in written word about any violent action one person can do to another, skip this book, but if you feel like you have the strength, give her the nine bucks or whatever that she’s asking and devour it like I did. A hook for you: our protagonist has a chance meeting with an embodiment of pain. What follows includes torture, gender, climate disaster, and Columbine. Gorgeous. This book almost convinced me to start doing video essays so I could explain to people the incredible factors at play in it.

4: Negative Space by BR Yeager

-I have been trying to read this book for free for so long that I broke my streak and paid actual money for it. It was one of the better purchases I made all year. Thanks to finally reading some Stephen King this year I now have the requisite foundation to see how heavily his style inspired Yeager in this book, but I would die on the hill defending my position that Yeager does King better than King ever did. There is evil seeping out between the lines of this book. Have you ever had a nightmare that made you feel doomed the entire next day? Have you ever felt you were trapped in your shitty, dying home town? Have you ever been seduced by the excitement of activities that you know might actually kill you? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and looked at your own dark reflection? Go back to the deepest point of your teenage depression here.

5: We Who Are About to by Joanna Russ

-One of the shortest entries on this list and so one of the easiest sells, but it is just as full of meaning as any other that made the cut. There is so much implied and unsaid about this protagonist. She feels whole, like this is the last chunk of chapters in a series centered on her, but she represents something universal. She is one member of a group from a crash-landed spaceship, a group small enough in numbers that there’s no way for humanity to last on this planet more than one more generation. Any attempts to do even that are so plainly cruel and self-deluding that she wants no part of them, but the others with her don’t see it the same way. Her story is womanhood under patriarchy, it is life and death, it is self-determination. Brutal. I read this at the airport and cried in public.

6: Carrie by Stephen King

-As much as I hate to say it, I gotta hand it to Uncle Steve (or really to Tabitha). This book very nearly justifies the rest of his career on its own. I thought had picked up most of it from cultural osmosis, but there was a truly shocking depth that I couldn’t have found without experiencing it firsthand. Maybe it’s funny to use this word here, but this book is humanist and compassionate and sincere in a way that King never finds again, particularly with the women he writes. Carrie is so vivid that I felt a protective instinct for her throughout the book even though I knew she was about to discover her own power. She reflects parts of me about as well as Lindqvist did in Little Star, which is the work of art that is THE most personal to me. A classic for a fucking reason.

7: The Doloriad by Missouri Williams

-This year, lots of the books that I read had strange echoes of each other. In this, I can pick out shades of Carrie, of Camp Concentration, of We Who Are About To, and even of Serious Weakness. Rarely if ever are these references by each author, but it has enriched my experience by having unofficial interlocking intertexts for all of them. This book has been very divisive with reviewers, and I understand why, because it is cruel and the prose is extremely stylistic. This is somewhat experimental and fully literary and sincerely philosophical. I get it. Not for everyone. But it was for me. A clan of inbreds at the end of the world with their eyes on their scapegoat, nonverbal and disabled Dolores. It shocked me and it challenged me and I loved it.

8: The Ice Cream Man and Other Stories by Sam Pink

-These short stories did the exact opposite of the thing that pissed me off about The Florida Project. These are about people who are varying degrees of sympathetic but the same degree of desperately, penny-scrapingly working poor. The easy pull quote is “unflinching,” because it turns an eye on very ugly parts of real life for so many of us. I think people who grew up middle class will find some voyeuristic, prurient pleasure in these stories, but they’re not written for you. They’re written for us, the people who have lived this way.

I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman 9

-I don’t need to tell you how great this book is, because the whole of booktok has told you this all year. Instead, what I will say is that it is much stranger and less tidy than you’re imagining when you hear the blurb. It’s a short read and it is one of the few times I haven’t regretted following booktok’s advice.

Only Lovers Left Alive by Dave Wallis 10

-This barely squeaked onto this year’s best of, because I started it before 2022 ended and finished it early in the new year. As I read it, especially in the first 20% of the book, I was confused as to how it ended up on my TBR. But toward the end, and throughout the year as I’ve continued to think about it, I understand more instinctively than intellectually that this is a remarkable work. A short synopsis: in the 80s in the UK, there is an epidemic of suicide, but only by adults. The teens left behind forge their own path.