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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years ago

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CONGRATS NISI!!!!!!!

if u like this prompt id love something like this sooooomuch from you 🥺💖

what about kids kkobym, with lil trans yams? (who loves dresses👉👈)

Hii Hanna!! I told you it would come this week! I had my troubles really, mostly with writing young kids (because kids just dont talk like adults and ahhhhhhh kids hard!), but I hope you like anyway!!

Thank you for @birdiepuh for sensitivity reading. (and the little beta <3)

based on that fanart that sometimes makes the rounds of Tsunade adopting Yamato when he is a kid.

Obito is 10, Kakashi is 9, Yamato is 5. Sakumo is alive.

1968 words (i did not quite make 2k, I'm sorryyy)

In all ways but the last legal paperwork Yamato was now accepted as a boy. Tsunade had made sure to provide him with a new name, a new haircut, new clothes and well, in time the legal status would follow too. She had taken great strides right from the get go to make sure he was feeling comfortable and safe expressing himself. That had in fact already been the cornerstone of her raising him before he had openly talked about wanting to be referred to as a boy.

Tsunade let Yamato pick his own clothes, which was how it had always been. She had picked him up when he was about four, found him in one of Orochimaru’s labs and taken him home. A boy who had the mokuton like her grandfather, someone that was related to her because of that she had argued. Hiruzen-sensei had let her do whatever she wanted and so she took the boy home.

From the moment she felt like he was comfortable enough with her she let him pick his own clothes, because Tsunade felt the child was old enough to make the choices about what to wear and what not. Now that Yamato had all the new things, a new haircut and a new name and such, she still let him pick his clothes, why not?

Still, one morning she was surprised when he entered the kitchen wearing a light green dress that had flowers stitched to the side. She had bought it for him as soon as he moved in and when they had cleaned out the closet he had decided to keep it because it was the first gift he’d ever gotten. Tsunade had been flattered, but she had not expected him to ever wear it again.

“Should I not wear this?” he said instantly upon seeing her face. One thing Tsunade had learned in these two years together was that kids were quick at understanding what was going on, even if adults tried to hide it.

“Do you like it?” Tsunade asked in return and crouched down to his height to ruffle through his brown hair.

Yamato touched the soft fabric of the dress. “I like it a lot. It is hot today so I won’t sweat quite as much.” He then smiled. “And it is my favourite thing I own, since you bought it for me.”

She tried not to tear up right on the spot and instead just pulled the little boy into a hug. “Then you absolutely should wear it, my dear.”

And while Tsunade really believed in that, during breakfast together she couldn’t help but think of the reaction of the other villagers. Not everyone was nearly as supportive as their immediate friend groups of Yamato’s transition, they might misunderstand him if he started wearing dresses again. Fortunately, the academy had summer holidays currently, so the only people coming by would be his direct friends and they would not judge him.

The fear stayed though and so she followed Yamato to the door when someone knocked. Hatake Kakashi stood on the other side, himself uncharacteristically dressed in short shorts and a shirt, he looked as unbothered as he always did, but Tsunade knew he was a kind and nice boy, no matter his general facial expression.

Kakashi looked at Yamato in the dress and for a moment Tsunade thought he would say something, but then he just said “Hi Tenzo”, which was the name for some reason he had decided to call the other boy.

“Hey,” Yamato smiled and then stepped outside. He turned for a moment back to Tsunade and said: “We will play in the garden.” She nodded. They always played in the garden.

For a while Tsunade was busy doing other stuff, mostly mixing up herbs in a little bowl she had on the counter. She liked making her own medicine whenever she could, which was also the reason she had a garden in the first place. Then she heard a loud crashing noise from outside.

Before she even had reached the window she already suspected that there had been an argument between Kakashi and Uchiha Obito, a boy both him and Yamato were also friends with. All three of them would hang out fairly often despite the age gap. Though they remained close friends, Tsunade had seen Kakashi and Obito fight more than any other best friends. It seemed like a game to them.

She looked outside through the drawers and immediately saw the big piece of wood that was now laying right next to Obito, who stood on his feet, both hands in fists. Kakashi was standing too, he had apparently thrown the wood. Tsunade’s eyes looked for Yamato who sat in the grass between them, his eyes darting back and forth between his friends.

“What the fudge?” Obito yelled across to Kakashi. “What was that for?”

The other boy looked back coldly, his eyelids hanging half low as they always did when he was angry. “That was a disrespectful thing to say, Obito.”

“I just answered his question!” Obito turned to Yamato. “I just answered what you asked me right, I didn’t insult you.”

Yamato seemed nervous and just frowned a little, so Obito continued. “You asked me if I’ve ever seen a boy wear a dress and I said ‘No’, that was all.”

Oh, Tsunade’s heart sank a little. She looked over to her boy worried that the reply might have hurt him just like Kakashi had thought they did. But Yamato seemed more distressed by the fact that his friends were fighting for his sake.

“And that was terrible of you to say.” Kakashi yelled back. “Don’t you understand the influence this might have on him?”

Obito leaned over to pick up the piece of wood that was still lying to his left, apparently reading himself to throw it back at Kakashi. “I didn’t mean to say he couldn’t! I just answered his question!” He lifted his arm.

For a second Tsunade considered stepping in, but then Yamato got up himself, his little frame so much smaller than the one of his two friends. “Stop!” he said loud and stepped in between them. There were little smudges on the seams of the dress now from where he had been sitting in the grass with it.

“I- I don’t want you guys to fight each other,” he said with a slight stammer. He looked over to Obito. “You did just answer my question, I am - not offended by your reply, because you didn’t say anything that was offensive to me.”

Then he turned his head and looked over to Kakashi: “T-Thank you for standing up for me, but please don’t throw stuff in the garden you could have hit the herb patch my mom needs for medicine.”

She put her head against the glass and smiled to herself. He really was a good kid.

“It- It’s not like I mind what you are wearing, you know,” Obito said with a little pouting face. “I didn’t even really notice until you said something.”

Kakashi grumbled from the other side: “Liar.”

Tsunade couldn’t help but laugh a little. She had known Kakashi’s father Sakumo ever since he was a child too and he had also been this sort of person that always stood up and defended what he believed in. Apparently his son had inherited the same gene, even if it was not necessary at this point.

“Alright, maybe I noticed, but it didn’t matter to me and it doesn’t now.” Obito was suggestively swinging the piece of wood again.

Suddenly vines broke through the surface of the earth, locking both fighting boys in place. Yamato, who was still standing between them, had his hands clasped together, his hair full with sprouted plants.

“Don’t fight!” He said and then. “Apologise ok?!” Which sounded less like a question and more like an instruction.

That emotions had influences on his mokuton was something that Tsunade had seen before. The time she cut his hair shorter than it had been before and dressed him up in stereotypical boys clothing for the first time he had sprouted almost an entire bush of flowers over his head on his shoulders once he could see himself in the mirror. Back then she had cut a flower from his shoulder off and planted it in the garden, so they could always remember the moment he truly became Yamato

The boys now averted their gaze. It was again Kakashi who’s sense of duty apparently commanded him to follow what was right. “Sorry, Obito. I- I know you didn’t mean it. Though I stand by the fact that it was insensitive.” he couldn’t help but get the last word in.

“Thank you.” Obito mumbled. “You didn’t have to throw that thing at me though.”

“Maybe you should learn how to dodge better then”, Kakashi shrugged his shoulders. “Guess you need more shuriken practice.”

Obito’s eyes lit up. “I would love to do more shuriken practice.” The mood between them had suddenly turned around completely. Only children could be angry at one another in one moment and then happily playing in the next.

Yamato must have noticed the mood change too and so he retreated the vines he had summoned and freed his friends. A big smile appeared on his face. The look of it warmed Tsunade’s heart.

“I will make us some shuriken to throw,” Yamato said excitedly and tapped from one foot to the other.

Tsunade retreated from the window again to go back to her medicine on the table. For a while she did not resume her work and just sat and listened to the sounds coming in through the open window. The boys had started playing again, throwing wood shurikens that Yamato made for all of them, as they so often did. Any discord between them seemed completely over. Being a child seemed so easy.

She did her daily work without worrying too much about the boys outside. It was incredibly hot and any kind of move was very exhausting, still the kids played relentlessly with an energy that adults could only dream of. She prepared a bit more medicine, then did some laundry. While she folded Yamato’s shirts she wondered if she should buy him another dress. Maybe in a brown or red colour to match his hair.

The afternoon bled into the evening and for a while she had not heard any of the children speak or yell outside. Soon Sakumo and Obito’s grandmother would probably worry about their children, so Tsunade went into the back garden to look what they were doing.

It took a little, since they were using one of their hideouts between the bushes at the back of the property. She pushed some branches aside and could not help but let out a long “Aw” at the image in front of her.

All three boys, completely exhausted from their afternoon of playing and fighting together, and probably also the heat, were laying next to each other and sleeping. Yamato was flanked by both the older boys like they were trying to be his guardians to shield him from the rest of the world. They were in such deep sleep that Tsunade felt odd having to break them up. She let them lay like this a little longer and tried to memorise the scene as well as she could, then she woke them up.

Kakashi and Obito left before dinner time, though they sometimes did stay over to eat with them, so it was just Tsunade and Yamato.

“Mom,” Yamato said eventually, “I had a lot of fun today.”

She lifted her hand and ruffled his hair again. “I’m glad. I’m also very happy you have such very good friends.”

#fanfiction things #nisi follower celebration #im sorry hanna im sure that was better in your head T_T

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ssreeder · 1 year ago

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WE’RE BACK IN BUSINESS BABYYYYYY

hi sreedie :3

fuck you sreedie no zukka cuddles >:(

but also… maybe not fuck you, it depends on what we DO get in this chapter… you’re on THIN ICE

on another note, I love jee <3

surely just like employ some of the kyoshi warriors to be dishwashers??

pls tell me why when rasu was like “I can sniff whatever I want” I immediately went COCAINE T-T

oh ?? jee what did you DO omg spill bestie

I KNEW jee was a slay, he’s also sus of iroh’s methods

LMAO jee wdym you “know that prince zuko was not into men” literally HOW would you know that information T-T

but anyways yes I’m loving that the hair touching is making a COMEBACK bc I absolutely adore how the fire nation views hair and all the glorious nuances that come with it ughhhhhh… now I’m mad again about shen being dead bc his reaction to the haircut sitch was ICONIC

YOOOOO JEE NOTICED IT TOO SREEDIE I THINK JEE MIGHT BE MY SOULMATE HE ALSO SAW HOW SOKKA HAS ABSORBED ZUKOS PERSONALITY TRAITS WHILE ZUKO IS OUT OF COMMISSION

not jee being offended about the perceived slight agains his cooking skills-

here come the iroh thoughts… I will add them at the end (or potentially in another ask??? I don’t want this to be more mammoth than usual)

OH SHIT OH NO OH FUCK OH ZUKO IS GONNA FIND OUT THAT JEE KILLED SHEN oh okay at least jee has some common sense !! good for him

LMAO not jee being a gossip queen (truly my soulmate, this is actually why we got divorced sreedie you can’t compare)

“dumpling boy” ohmygod obsessed

A TEABAG why is that fucking hilarious pls tell me you have some kind of fire nation lore behind that insult

the reading scene is so sweet ;-; and like I know from second hand experience that being read to when you can’t read yourself is a Huge Deal bc when my cousin had a major back operation our aunt read to her for HOURS daily and it literally bonded them so much. so like, very important scene sreedie you’ve got me in my feels (and I’m WAITING IMPATIENTLY for rasu and zuko to become besties again)

wow the “delivered” part is so gut wrenching. that’s really the tragedy of war isn’t it? everyone just becomes a pawn unless they’re one of the chess players themselves

LMAO not the kiddos getting into fisticuffs upstairs and disturbing one of the most politically tense conversations in the fic

OH SHIT HAKODA LETTERS OMG THE PLOT IS PLOTTING SREEDIE ITS PLOTTING

ohnooooooo stop I’m so fucking sad about hakoda and thinking katara was ignoring him on purpose STOP

ah fuck sokka trauma reveal xxxx

literally so siblings to have bled and shit on each other. something something I’ve had the worst parts of you inflicted on me but I have to love you anyway

sokka trauma time !!

damn baby’s first kill… forgot about the warden tbh

“everyone is always trying to kill zuko” so true bestie they should stop!! stop trying to kill zuko fr omg!! (read that like that one tweet where that white girl was telling isis to stop terrorism lmao)

“what sokka had experienced had layers” LIKE AN ONION please why am I unable to take anything seriously anymore it’s bad

CHANG CHANG CHANG CHANG is the chang bato ship called chato or bang OMG BANG THATS ICONIC love that we’re sticking with it

(in case it wasn’t already obvious I love chang btw)

lmao chang said end sexism in the grumpiest grouchiest way possible

ykw I’m a fan of?? the fact that hakoda has the brain to plan like sokka but the resources to plan like zuko and I think that it’s fucking hilarious

“speak for yourself I’m in fucking agony” I LOVE CHANG I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO CHANG I GIVE CHANG MY WHOLE HEART

ohohohoho sokka you are actually going to be CLOSER to zuko isn’t that dandy

omg eve ;-; our lovely forest lesbians ;-; that you MURDERED

NO ZUKKA CUDDLES BUT ZUKKA WAVE??!!?!?! call me a masochist but I’m enjoying this. anyways.

ZUKKA AND CHANG REUNION OMFG I WILL CRY especially zuko chang reunion ;-; (do Not get me started on my feelings on chang vs iroh) ((jokes I will be talking about in a soon to be sent ask))

also obsessed with sokka having active beef with jee and jee is just like… this kid needs therapy ~cue rbf~

YES MY BBYGORL AZULA READY TO FUCK SHIT UP (but yeah can she pls hold off for a tad longer thx sm <3)

okokok I’ll get onto my iroh thoughts now (in another ask.. bc uh.. this is Huge) but that’s gonna take a hot minute bc I have to become Coherent.

also no longer sick!! for now. (I probably should’ve gone to see a dr much sooner anyways but too late now ig)

HUGS KISSES AND A DRAMATIC HAIR FLIP TO BID YOU FAREWELL <333

*dances on thin ice*

OLLLOOOOO LEEKIE

Yes Jee offend the group of women warriors by asking them to come wash dishes hahaha…. Nice one leekie!

Jee sailed on a ship with Zuko for 3 years… & during that time his gaydar must have broken (I feel like we can blame Zuko for breaking it somehow)

Oh iroh…. You silly silly man <3

I think rasu reading to Zuko meant a lot to him so hopefully baby steps in the right direction ;)

Hahaha it’s ok the onion joke & the sand joke legit never stop…. Damn it media for influencing words so much.

Haha Chang iroh interaction is something I’m looking forward to. It’ll be INTERESTING ;;);)

Ok leekie I’m sorry I know I said I would respond yesterday but I’m a horrible person and this is why we’re divorced! GLAD YOURE NOT SICK ANYMORE WOHOOOO

*sprinkles germs in your food*

#gotta keep things interesting ya know #I am curious your thoughts on iroh #I fucking lovvveee writing Chang #I’ll have a Sokka pov and he is like ANGST ANGST ANSGT ANGSTTTT #Then it switches to Chang and he’s like fuck off baby girl #damn I’m looking forward to Chang Zuko reunion lol #idk about the chang Sokka reunion though #Sokka is not very understanding right now #& yeah he thinks Chang is dead so he hasn’t had time to dwell #but when Chang shows up alive…. ahhhh #it could get rough #I love the drama so it’ll be fine ;)#LOVE YOU LEEKIE #LIAB #ITF #hiiii leekieeeeee #leekie tag #ASK

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justaghostingon · 2 years ago

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I posted 279 times in 2022

That's 55 more posts than 2021!

169 posts created (61%)

110 posts reblogged (39%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kitkat-the-muffin

@crookedblade

@jay9marie

@mosaicofdreamsanddragons

@snazzyscarf

I tagged 274 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#room of swords - 204 posts

#room of swords reactions - 176 posts

#gyrus - 33 posts

#kodya - 28 posts

#iro - 21 posts

#don - 21 posts

#reblog - 14 posts

#tori - 12 posts

#yumeji - 12 posts

#strawbarrow - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#of course a watsonian explination is that she hasn’t progressed enough at level 1 to begin to hone her craft and specialize her ability

My Top Posts in 2022:

So i get why y’all mad about the short hair in the Rings of power, but consider:

The short hair was a fashion choice unique to the second age. Where everyone jumped on the trend and then immediately (for elves so a couple centuries) jumped off again. It’s the embarrassing haircut every elf tries to forget they ever had, so much so that they tear down all statues and paintings where they have it.

The kind of thing that galadriel will absolutely hold over elrond’s head every time they come to visit, and show all his kids.

“Oh Arwen, he doesn’t want u to marry ur hot human boyfriend? Well sometimes he doesn’t make good decisions. Just Look at this painting i keep on me of him with short hair. Could you imagine a worse decision? I can’t”

Arwen (horrified): father?!!!

Elrond: it was a phase! Stop showing people that!

Galadriel: No ☺️

420 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

The Inversion of the Ideal Type:

A mini meta on Komi-san Can’t Communicate

So i’ve been watching Komi-san lately, and I really love the main couple, but it took me a while to finally pinpoint why.

When the show begins, we start from Tadano’s perspective: he’s an average guy with a beautiful but silent classmate who’s secret he discovers. And at this point, I thought i knew what i was getting. The everyday man finding out some secret about a girl way out of their league causing the girl to need to keep them around is a very common wish fulfillment plot. Komi is clearly Tadano’s ideal girl, and the fact she has a weakness he can exploit is just the icing on the cake. I’ve seen it all before, and it always left a bad taste in my mouth.

But here’s the kicker: Tadano doesn’t exploit Komi’s secret. He doesn’t make her dependent on him, or act jealous of her new friends. He’s constantly looking out for her comfort and trying to help her reach out and make new friends. And in this, he becomes a wish fulfillment character himself. After all, a guy who genuinelu cares and tries to help you with your crippling anxiety? Someone who always understands when u try to communicate? People with social anxieties want that. Any girl who’s ever felt misunderstood wants that. Komi-san wants that. Tadano, with his gentle encouragement and seemingly endless patience, is as much Komi’s ideal man as she is his ideal woman.

And that’s what makes the show work. They both value each other, they both want each other, and every episode they find new little details about each other to make them fall even more in love. Its sweet and uncomplicated, and maybe its a bit idealistic, but its like having a yummy desert after a long day, it soothes you.

571 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

The Great Demon Fiance ManHunt of Cang Qiong Sect

A scum villian’s self saving system au

It all started when Liu Qingge fell into another succubus pit.

Now the succubus in this pit had been gossiping just before he arrived. Well, more like debating in demon fashion, which is to say they had been in an all out brawl.

Liu Qingge thinks this might be an easy fight since they’re all so distracted, until on smarter succubus stops the others

“Wait!” She says. “He’s from Cang Qiong. Maybe he knows something!”

Liu qingge isn’t particularly interested in hearing them out, but they overwhelm him, united as one and fueled with the vigor of one who is starving for gossip

They ask him: “which cang Qiong peak lord is getting married to the next mobei-jun?”

This completely throws liu qingge for a loop nad he venemently denies it

But the succubus insist, spinning a tale of star crossed lovers which as reached their ears: of a young mobei-jun who was rescued by a pittiful human from cang qiong sect, who promised to always be there for mobei-jun, even as he rose higher and higher in thr sect, never betraying him, until even the great mobei-jun could not help but fall in love

Liu qingge dismisses this, but the succubus insist its true, because the same Mobei-jun visited their madam (i forget her name) for a fortune told, and there was a human at his side, dressed in the robes of a cang qiong peak lord!

Their madam is famous for her love fortunes! Why visit her with someone if u weren’t planning to marry them?

(Mobei-jun was not there for a love fortune. He and Shang Qinghua were looking for some plot device to help thwart on of his uncle’s schemes, and needed directions)

So which one was it? Was it him?

Liu qingge is outraged by this suggestion, so much so that it gives him enough of a power boost to escape

At first he ignores it. But it keeps circling in his brain, like a nagging fly he can’t get out of his mind

Then the unthinkable happens: Shen Qingqiu starts being nice! He saves him! He wants to bury the hatchet! He starts being nice to his disciples!

It’s almost like he recieved some very, very good news.

Like a secret proposal.

But no! Shen Qingqiu liked woman! He was always sneaking down to the red pavilon! Right? Right?

Unless he was just using that as a cover to sneak out to see his demon lover????

Filled with worry, he tries to subtly interrogate Shen Qingqiu by asking him what he thinks of demons. Rather predictably, this fails horribly. With an oblivious shen yuan thinking this was a perfect opportunity to get liu qingge to soften to his future brother-in-law’s heritage and gives his whole “there are bad and good ones” speech

Liu qingge leaves heartbroken, certain his shixiong is in love with a demon

He goes to yue qingyuan and tells him that they might be losing a martial brother to an engagement, but refuses to say who

Leaving yue qinghuan witn thr impession its liu qingge who’s getting engaged

At around this time, the rumor of a cang qiong peak lord marrying a demon reaches the peak, because those succubus are still fighting over which one it is, and have taken to asking every cang qiong disciple they can find

Yue qingyaun panics, because his shidi has all but told him he’s getting engaged, liu qingge panics because shen qingqiu could get in serious trouble if this is found out, and shang qinghua panics because what if this inane rumor causes people to examine his own connections to demons?

Shen qingqiu is not panicking. Shen Qingqiu is having a lovely time playing house eith binghe and ignoring everything else

Meanwhile the other peak lords all start accusing each other, the disciples start using this to start fights with other peak disciples, and its all getting very out of hand

Yue qingyuan is forced to call a meeting, and tries to politely get liu qingge to confess

See the full post

689 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

How to Woo the Girl You Dumped Without her Demon-possessed Brother Getting in your Way: A Guide by Jin Zinxuan

A crack au

It all begins when Jin Zinxuan notices that Jiang Yanli is actually really pretty.

This is unfortunately right in the middle of him yelling at her for trying to claim credit for the soup someone’s been making for him

Wei Wuxian shows up, demonic tendicals (we’re going anime version here) dripping from all around him as he defends his sister, it comes out that she has been making the soup, and now he’s smitten with a huge problem: the girl he likes both now prob hates him because he humiliated her, and also her brother is definitely a demon

Now a sensible person would first try to patch over the relationship with jiang yanli by apologizing, but jin Zixuan is a Jin! He’s never done a sensible thing in his life!

And also talking about feelings is really scary and as his friend Miammiam likes to point out, he is really bad at it

So naturally, he decides that the most important step to wooing Jiang yanli is to save her brother from demonic possession. That way she’ll be super impressed with him and he’ll be less terrifying and so greatful he’ll well come him into the family!

What could go wrong?!!

Jin Guangyao insists that it is not demonic possession, it is demonic cultivation. But jin zixuan has heard jin zixun rant about “that wei demon” enough times to know better

Figure of speech? What’s that?

So jin zixuan decides to exorcise wei wuxian, and to do that, he’ll need help from the smartest person he knows: jin Guangyao

Jin guangyao is less than thrilled at being sent on a rediculous job like this, to exorcise the clearly not possessed wei wuxian, until he realizes jin zixuan will do anything he suggests without question

ANYTHING

So Jin guangyao decides to have fun with this, setting jin zixuan on increasingly ridiculous tasks to “cure” wei wuxian of demonic possesstion

Like covering him in salt. Or throwing itchy flowers at him. Or running after him chanting this truely awful tune while hoping on one foot.

The result of course, is a very angry wei wuxian who chases zixuan away, and an increasingly desperate jin zixuan who thinks wei wuxian’s frustrations are proof that “the demons are trying to stop me!”

Now the sect heir acting strange is going to raise some eyebrows, and when outsiders look at jin zixuan throwing flowers and singing, they come to a very different conclusion.

Within a day, everyone in every sect is convinced jin zixuan is trying to court wei wuxian

“My son is a cutsleeve!” Moans jin guangshan. “How did this happen! I showed him all the fine ways to love a woman!”

“You’re lessons are the reason my son is a cutsleeve!” Madam jin retorts. “U scarred him for life!”

They proceed to spend the rest of the time arguing and somehow forget to actually talk to their son

Meanwhile in yumeng everyone is losing their collective shit. Jiang cheng is furious that jin zixuan thinks he can poach wei ying with a few pretty words and flowers. Jiang yanli is depressed because her crush is really hopeless now, and how could she measure up to wei wuxian?

Wei wuxian himself is disgusted, not that jun zixuan is a cutsleeve, but that he’d dare to court him! After what he did to shijie! He resolves to firmly rebuff every attempt jin zixuan makes

Which only serves to make jin zixuan more determined because “those demons are really stubborn!!”

But then… the rumor reaches gusu

And lan zhan hops on the first sword to the jin sect to challenge jin zixuan to a duel for wei wuxian’s honor

Lan Zhan tells himself he wouldn’t do this is wei wuxian actually loved the guy. But its not just some guy. This is jin zixuan, wei wuxian hates him! Even he knows that!

They fight, but jin zixuan for all his denseness, even he knows he doesn’t have a quirrel with lan Zhan, and eventually he gets lan zhan to calm down enough to ask why they are fighting

Lan zhan explains and jin zixuan is horrified he’d ever thing that, and quickly fills him in on what he’s really doing: saving wei wuxian from the demon that is possessing him

See the full post

692 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Yiling Laozu’s Lost Spells, A.K.A. The Weird Ones

A Collection by Mo Xuanyu

aka another crack au

Edit: Now with a part 2!

When the Yiling Laozu died his work was divided up by its use

The Lans took anything deemed undemonic, like Spirit Lures and Demonic Compasses

The Jins snuck out anything dangerous under the lie they’d destroy it

And the rest of it…it got scattered everywhere to every lowdown village and wanna be demonic cultivator.

At first, no one thought this would be a problem. It’s not like anything dangerous is out there, and not just anyone can culitvate

But they forgot two very important things: 1) no one needs to be a culivator to use demonic cultivation and 2) people will find a way to use anything

Soon the culivation world is overrun by really, really weird cases that their cultivators just can’t keep up with

And when I say weird, I do mean weird here’s a look at some of the cases:

Case 1) Giant rabbits the size of houses have been spotted in a mountain near a sheparding villiage eating all their feilds. They asked Hanguang-jun for help. Hanguang-jun went up but he did not come back down. It is suspected the giant bunnies ate him

Case 2) the dancing radishes. Every night on the full moon radishes come to life in a villiage and dance on their beds. Its not hurting anyone, but its really freaking them out

Case 3) dog begone spells. A whole villiage has lost all its dogs and no one knows why. Some of them were really expensive spirit puppies, including one jin guangyao was planning to purchase for his nephew

Case 4) the case of the running radishes. Radishes are leaving their beds a d running away as fast as thry can. Every time someone gets close they keep moving farther away

Case 5) flowers flying to lan clan ribbons and sticking. Every flower, even ones on stems. The lans are walking around covered in flowers and it is becoming a Problem.

Case 6) radishes that look like potatoes. Again? What is with this guy and radishes? This spell would have been harmless if it hadn’t been in a villiage with two rival families of radishes and potatoes. The potato family is accusing the radish family of sabatoge and the radish family is accusing the potato family of stealing their crop

Case 7) Lotus soup possession talisman. If u stick this talisman on someone, they will make lotus and pork rib soup. Always. Again and again. They can’t stop. Everything they make is soup. They’re crying.

Case 8) the peacock tail talisman. Every jin who comes into contact with this talisman will get a peacock tail. They can’t get rid of them. This is a problem.

Case 9) grass butterflies come to life. Again, not harmful, but very annoying. All children love it. All adult toy sellers do not. Their wares keep flying away. Please someone save their buisnesses

Case 10) hug jiang cheng. You must hug jiang cheng. You can’t help it. You can’t stop. If u don’t give him one hug a day you will die. Jiang cheng is furious. Fix this now.

Case 11) give Hanguang-jun compliments. Not hard, no one would notice if it wasn’t stuck to Su She. He hates it. He’s sueing for emotional damages. You better fix this quick!

And these are just the first ones! In times like this, people look to the Chief Cultivator. But the Chief cultivator is off flirting with women, so like all things, this falls to jin guangyao to solve.

So Jin guangyao decides he needs to get those documents back, and who better to send to handle the weird cases no one wants to touch than his weird half brother who’s so fasinated by demonic cultivation?

Thus Mo Xuanyu finds himself with his dream job: chasing down the yiling Laozu’s lost works! What more could he want?

The first case is easy. He goes up and finds Hanguang-jun asleep cuddled in a pile of giant rabbits. All he has to do is find out where the talisman is and remove them. The hard part is getting Hanguang-jun to stop looking like he just killed his wife. Mo xuanyu didn’t know Hanguang-jun had puppy eyes. Since when did he have puppy eyes? Eventually to make him feel better he helps him take all the rabbits to cloud recesses. And at another puppy dog eyed, gloomy look like he’s denied him his long lost lover, Mo Xuanyu gives him the talisman too. Jin Guangyao’s not happy, but really, what was Mo Xuanyu supposed to do? Not make that handsome man smile again?

The second case is a lot harder. Nothing Mo Xuanyu does gets the radishes to stop singing. No spells, not talismans, nothing. The only thing left is to dig them all up and throw them deep into the woods where no one will have to listen. Mo Xuanyu’s ears are still bleeding from their reedy songs

The third case is where Mo Xuanyu feels a bit of hope in Yiling laozu’s work really paying off. Lots of his bullies at the jin sect have dogs. If he can make them vanish, he’ll be safe! Unfortunately this spell makes all dogs leave, or none at all. And even when he finds a way to undo it, he can’t afford to copy it out because jin guangyao took one of the pups to give to jin ling, and if mo xuanyu makes the grumpy jin ling’s beloved new puppy go away, he’ll be kicked out of Koi Tower and feel bad besides

The radishes are back, but they run now. They aren’t even violent, u can’t use them for anything! They just run! It takes mo xuanyu months to catch one and track it back to its home. The radishes have built a radish villige in the forest. Radish farmers radish shop keepers and radish children. Mo xuanyu feels like he’s stepped into a children’s book. Then he hears the familiar reedy songs and it becomes a nightmare. The running radishes found the singing ones. They interbred. Now they have musical theatre radishes. Mo Xuanyu booked it out of there as fast as he can. Fuck the Yiling Laozu. Mo Xuanyu isn’t messing with that

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1,022 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

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writingbymoonlight · 2 years ago

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Luna!

Irene is so so beautiful and Bond just so cool!! Like!! I look just wanna use a knife and have the perfect haircut

Love how Bond and Sebastian got closer!! They are so amazing together! The chemistry and how they work!!!

And I absolutely adore Sherlock for being also so honest with himself, a bit too harsh and hard, but honest, that he sees how the things are and doesn't talk himself into 'Yeah I am the one deciding' but he was the one who played a role in Moriarty's plan!

Watson is also really a lovable character and smart also fun!

And I can not stop listening to Wiliams voice! Please, I wanna have a conversation with him, I know I am not the smartest partner to talk to, but oh my, I can just sit and nod!

And Louis 🥹 the way he was looking at Sherlock so unpleasant and how annoyed he got when he called his brother 'Liam' I cackled

He is just too cute! And dangerous, but cute!

Also Albert!!! He is so interesting I can not! I want to see more!

Also Mycroft?? He is also so interesting, like he just let's them do crime??? Hello??? Wow! That's a move, but I do understand where he is coming from, but it still shocked me to the core! Also the reason on why the stolen papers were important? I gasped at the story!

I can not wait to continue watching!

Also all those annoying Nobles? I wanna punch them all

K! I am so happy to see that you are still enjoying the show 😊

Omg the haircut scene kind of reminded me of the one in Mulan. Like, damn I wish I could cut my hair in such a cool and effortless way too ��‍💨

And ahhh Sherlock <3 I love that he is not a perfect character, but still so likable! And also kind of a little menace with calling William "Liam" 😂 Louis's reaction to that was absolutely hilarious!

Mycroft!!! The way he swoops in and treats Sherlock, who everyone sees a genius, like his baby brother is so funny, but also kind of sweet 🥰 And the dynamic between Mycroft and Albert is very interesting as well!

Sebastian and Bond, I loved seeing them work together 🥹 Honestly, I am happy whenever Sebastian is around hehe

William's voice is just 😌 I am not the smartest either, but I would literally could listen about whatever for hours. For someone who is supposed to be the Lord of Crime, his presence is kind of soothing, if that makes sense?

#📮 : inbox #📝 : ek4t #moonlight's moots!

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safetyobstacles · 5 months ago

Text

Parte dois of my giant post to hold all my reactions as i watch Desconjuração because my original post somehow got MASSIVE

so spoilers under the cut starting on ep 9 BBBB)))))

parte uno

update from episode 11 this post is also massive help

you know that song "our house in the middle of our street" thats what this half of desconjuração is like but its just "our house" over and over and over and

WHAT THE HELL WHY WHY WHY WHY

i am sad about liz but its okay im fine its im so sad im rotting im dust my bones have turned to acid and liquid and theres no putting me back together its okay at least i still have arthur and kaiser and erin and joui and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 9 im going to its 130 am and i have work in the morning but i actually cant sleep until i know what happens to Ivete

cellbit got a haircut for christmas

the void room looks so cool ????????? joui doesnt get a line sus

ABSOLUTE COMEDY GOLD THIAGO AND BEA that was the funniest shit ever "careful asking questions" "GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS??" KKKKKKK i had to pause to breathe if ivete dies because of this at least it was really fucking funny

??????????????????????????????????????????????? i have trust issues is this even real

off topic but ivete, kaiser, and arthur all living together is actually the cutest thing ever i want to crush them like an orange to make juice

joui why are you being so vague over this phone call sus sus sus sus

cellbit says the word photos and i wanna throw him out a window leave kaisers photos aloooooooooooonnnnnneneeeeeee oh nvm the photos are normal :)

joui looking good with his 26 hp 69 sanity :)) erin slowly going crazy with her 13 sanity :))))))) dante is just kinda homeless rn isnt he

ok i feel like this is probably real enough that i can go to sleep without worrying

i think my favourite ordem song is in the second half of this season but that also doesn't bode well for the team...

tristan FUMBLES with the pool question

joui wasnt in the spooky room joui wont hug tristan.............. sus

im so glad everyone else thinks that bea asking for suggestions was funny as fuck dude i was in tears over it

LOOOOL dude i couldnt figure out why Mia was so familiar shes in the GAME her and Lupi i cant believe i didnt recognize her at first its okay ivete i also cant do math in my head

'yeah she fought the god of death thats why shes old' this is so awkward for fernando specifically

why is erin's grandma an elite hacker i think we should open the possible ransomware for fun good thing erin passed her sanity test wtf kaiser's apartment is haunted his computer is haunted his face is fucked up one of his friends just died someone go buy him some gum erin i think your grandma might have joined a cult

kaiserrrrrr he cares so much about his people, giving ivete money to find a new place for now agatha really grows on you shes just a little guy with deadly tendencies and fun hobbies

joui vs modern technology is such a good bit

kaiser about to dislocate his knee all over again door strong

'tem dois pufes' WHAT A GOOD WORD PUFES I LOVE THAT INCREDIBLE suspicious note in the haunted wine cabinet kaiser with the haunted cigarettes and the haunted weed idk which team is more cursed team 2 has a cellbit npc but team 1 has the guys that are seeing phantom eyeballs everywhere

quatro pessoas..... fofoca..... bro arnaldo fritz got around EVERYWHERE are we sure thiago is his only kid the plumbing might need some work wow thats actually like my worst nightmare whats happening to kaiser erin with 13 sanity about to start her singing career

water being used as a horror element makes this 10 times harder to get through for me just the idea of it freaks me out lolll enigma of the printer they're never going to get this file printed strong feeling that tristan is going to get mangled in the haunted house

if i was cellbit and all my players were scattered around the house trying to do 7 different things all at once i would just cry

dante's lost, tristan is trying to set up erin and joui, arthur and fernando are arguing over a printer, kaiser is pocketing a laptop, bea is trying to advance the plot, joui is panicking over groups of 4

kaiser dont go to the bathroom the water is trying to drown you CAN WE LEAVE THJE HAUNTED HOUSE why all these houses fucked up kaiser no more houses for you thats horrible thats horrible thats horrible why do you hate photography cellbit

tristan dont look out tristan stay hiding tristan shut the fuck up the evil monster is in the hALLWAY oh nevermind oh nevermind never mind oh shit oh FUCK DAMN DAMN DAMN BRO GOT OPENED LIKE A CAN OF TUNA

EP 10 theres no way this can go worse than the Virgulino house fight

this season's opening is so good last season's was as well i love good opening sequences DAMN i just watched osnf opening again and now im sad once more i watched it 4 more times i am in AGONY

THE TRISTAN CORPSE erin with 18 sanity doing better nevermind fucking hell maybe we get erin out of here bea runs TOWARDS the corpse thats crazy hello luciano this is really awkward for you to show up right now

go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs leave the house leave the house leave the house guys joui has the right idea get the hell out

would be crazy to be one of the neighbours looking out the window right now ERINNNNNNN its ok its ok joui about to beat up dante not the van cellbit looks sus as fuck i think they should go visit the neighbours all the blood might make it a bit awkward tho

so glad i can read portuguese so this notebook could make me sad before Bea even started reading it who's letting their kid answer the door when you live across from a haunted house

little tiny Arthur terrorizing these kids he doesnt mean it puppy fernando probably would have been the better person to talk to the neighbours kaiser repeating their names so he doesnt forget like he did in the house im gonna break something

'its us three forever' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im going to deastroy ecveryhting rgresrebhvaljkvbfdsahlvnfakdv

ok but at least if we are going back in the house can we figure out whats up with the printer are we suuuuure the laptop doesnt have a charger is there a ladder that we can use, have kaiser or arthur climb up look through a window, see if they can see the spider woman

the plan is dont die IM SURE THEY WILL ALL BE OKAY bea i think if you go with you die maybe the spider woman is turning tristan's body into a puppet and shes gonna start a puppet show

im so glad we're going in the house at night im so glad theres a red light in the haunted house at night im so glad this is a group of 4 Joui got me paranoid PICTURE DEVELOPMENT ROOM thats not very scary nevermind kaiser get away from the sink its gonna try to suck you again is that bastet ive seen his doki doki stream

i was just gonna comment on how cellbit suddenly sat up straight but he just became grandma again bro erin has 8 sanity one of her best friends just died in front of her she needs to go home ooog idk if we go upstairs ooooggggrgrgbrehgrdf joui idk if you go in front ur kinda freaking out

i hate this house haunted wardrobe about to eat dante the haunted eyeball is contagious ok what do we all have in common that the eyeball is haunting them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that i can think of the odds of dante putting that number in his phone thats crazy has anyone thought about looking up at the ceiling while they walk

ok now open the door again thats how the eyes work they disappear after you see them ok nvm stop trying to open the door shut the door shut the door KICK THE DOOR???? EXTREMO??? joui that room is hella haunted "hehe nao sabe" wheres kian, kian sabe

i would like to ask again has anyone considered looking up at the ceiling this entire time oh lol they actually looked up just now LAPTOP CHARGER POG who the hell is moving a whole stove upstairs if it broke just put it outside joui is afraid of the upstairs stove

i feel like whatever monster is in this house isnt resposible for kaiser's memory problems/photo problems because his photos got messed up all the way back at Liz's apartment, and the dripping sound was happening before that or maybe its just a part of it since joui and dante have seen the eyesballs now too but why does ivete see it too ? ?? ? its linked specifically to kaiser maybe? maybe its like the flu and hes spreading it by coughing on everyone but then if it is linked to kaiser why him?? i dont remember anything especially specific happening to him at the end of osnf

if thats a photo of them right now ill die thats another horror trope i hate is when you get confirmation that something is indeed watching you please look out the window i have to know ok maybe it isnt

wait didnt that old lady call them an uber like 3 hours ago maybe they can print a key for one of the doors the most obvious crack in the wall everybody missed it for so long

alright buddy cellbit why do you keep calling out the time thats sus why is he counting it out by the minute stop it joui you loser that was cute maybe we burn it outside have you guys ever thought of that maybe we burn it outside so we arent trapped in the house

couldnt have tried burning it outside joui hiding in rocks like a crab okay kaiser runs INTO the house okAY kinda figured the door would do that ah fhfdvnfjdavbklfrdhaij; this music is awesome bea going to hide in a pillow fort idk if that ones gonna work bud wait yeah maybe we dont go in the van something vandalized it last time

"you still dont hear footsteps" ok but last time thats when tristan got plucked also the hell music is still playing so luciano HIIIDE JUST HIDE maybe break the window??? JKUST HIDE STOP FIGHTING THE WINDOW JUST HIDE NVM OK JUMP OUT THE WINDOW LEEEEEAVE NAAO no gkd danmnmuit LUIS BEAAAA shes hgonna shoot him on accident dante got the fuck out lmaooooo

LUCIANO LIVES??????? HE LIVEDDDDDDDDDDD leave the house leave the house leave the house leave the house theres still a half hour left this episode is stressing me out so bad its awesome

headless doll how nice how friendly how normal for a haunted house nvm now the doll has a head erin needs a vacation she has 8 sanity this fucking laptop is the actual boss of the house no way theres only 10 minutes left we're gonna be stuckj in this house for another episode mom pick me up i want to go home

burn the photo OUTSIDE wehats wrong with you guys THANK YOU JOUI NO KAISER wait so it wasnt reacting to the photos getting burned not the POV photo damn poor record guy AWESOME COFFINS GREAT ONE IS OPEN COOL

ep 11 shoutout to orpheu for living this long

rakin did something different with his hair

opening the unchained coffin is wild but you go dante dont let anyone stop you grabbing the floating tape is wild but you go bea dont let anyone stop you taking a picture of the monster is such a good idea you just have to not die in the process\

'kills victims after devouring their memories' KAISERRRRRR 'you guys are getting tired and hungry' ok well maybe if someone didnt fuck up their van they could go to a waffle house

CUP NOODLES POG why are you judging joui's cup noodle flavour listen just send arthur to the old lady's house sure he has one arm and a scarred face but hes arthur hes so small hes the kind of person old people love joui about to get sucked by the sink oh nevermind is this water even safe to drink tho theyre about to get parasites

joui and arthur sharing ramen :) so cute so small so cute how have non of these people eaten ramen before this isnt even real ramen its instant noodles this cooking break is kind of nice if you ignore the invisible spider stalking them no way we take a nap in the haunted house

this is supposed to be sad i can tell but im obsessed with memory loss kaiser going 'wow look at my totally normal faceless parents in this totally normal picture' and arthur just being 'no kaiser no no no'

really admire how we're all just chilling in the haunted house erin so quiet joui you are such a loser i love you NOO ERIN CAN ALSO HEAR THEM KKKKKKKK luciano gnawing on a brick of instant noodles is so real joui and erin gonna make my heart bones dissolve stop it ill die nobody smile at her she may have a heart attack

am i crazy is it not wild to be napping in the haunted house i feel crazy cellbit saying 'you feel strange' but its just luciano changing back had me so scared for half a second fernando this is so awkward you know that tristan is dead right

joui and arthur SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR "bom dia joui :)"

POLICE OPEN UP joui just let the cop in joui is incredibly charming nvm not that charming english jumpscare wheres thiago when you need him he could talk his way out of this uh oh

STOPPP the english is killing me also these cops are about to die horribly dante playing splinter cell ana about to get SNATCHED JUAREZ MOOOOVE dude that thing looks awesome her arms are so long AHHH HE MAKES IT OUT THE WINDOW THIS TIME we shoot the monster as its trying to hug joui okay 8 damage is fucked

kaiser is playing pokemon snap meanwhile the monster is trying to turn arthur's chest into a bread bowl luciano doing crazy damage this fight beaaaaaa bbbro its eating her DESASTRE??? nah wait doesnt this thing eat memories before it kills you dude come on bea barely has any HES ABOUT TO PUNCH THE BIRD ORPHEU IS GLOWING AGAINN dante stumbling through the window

erin is so real hiding this whole fight DAMN snapped orpheu like a pencil HE SAID THE THING ???????????? this thing hates knowledge specifically it has so much HEALTH IT CAN REACH OUT THE WINDOW JOUI FUCKIGN SLIPPPPPEDDDD kaiser so mad about being the photographer JOUI YOU'RE SO COOOOOL

cellbit you fucker i dont think tiny bird cpr is going to help YO????? erin chilling with 2 sanity open the door open it open it thats a whole book cellbit...........................

EP 12 whats on the laptop whats in that room can we go home yet

hi everybody welcome to the next episode here have some trauma

nobody smile at erin she's liable to just straight up kill herself if you arent careful 'im gonna tell bea i liked her writing :D' oh dear erin dont even worry about it joui, erin's just gonna talk to tristan's blood splatter

dante with the haircut can the paranormal fix my vision too i would become an occultist for that how is this door STILL stuck who in there not-dead-bea isnt gonna freak out is she thats gonna be reallyyyyyyy

theres no way i would be opening one of these coffins after all the shit we just went through what if theres another spider woman in there joui with a shotgun... does this count as grave robbing is kaiser going to be haunted by even more spirits

dont worry kaiser i have dyslexia and i cant read cursive either its cursed SHOOTING THE COFFIN IS HILARIOUS WHAAAT WHY IS THERE A BLOOD ZOMBIEWHERE THE FUCK DID IT COME FROM ARTHURRRRRRR THIS HOUSE FUCKING SUCKS

wait i forgot thats how blood zombies work cellbit you fucker dont you dare did dante just try to hockey check the zombie joui doing an epic move nevermind this is not very friendly bea :( guyssssss you cant just keep her like this forever will she even go back to being not angry not to be that guy but even if you do manage to chain her up shes probably just gonna mutilate herself to get to you guys

doorways and hallways are the most dangerous enemies in ordem theres too many people climbing all over each other trigger discipline luciano????????????? joui you're so cool

thIS IS SO AWKWARD i just dont know if erin is the best person to be breaking this to fernando erin i dont know if you should be transcending right now but maybe this will be good for you

kaiser and erin got that energy like their parents know each other and wont stop talking in the aisle of a grocery store wait i forgot kaiser has that doll what is it FOR escolha..... WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK JOUI AND ERIN ARE GONNA KISS fernando, erin is the resident grenade and shotgun user she cant stay in the back

the longer they stay in this house the more i can see the actual players going crazy i love that joui's perfect series of events goes back to liz being alive hes so right got rolled by a door

do you think cellbit made the puzzles in this house like "these are kind of difficult but i think they can do it :)" and then dante is just forgetting to finish reading the damned diary and we've been stuck in this house for 4 episodes erin has the right idea blow it up LOL wait luciano is actually gonna let her

ARTHURRRRRRR so small its okay arthur you're a good person RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA the arthur kaiser joui relationship making me violent

cellbit i dont like the face you made when fernando went to try and transcend sus DOLL ROOM wait i recognise this music wtf but the song im thinking of is from the calamidade soundtrack

EP 13 cory in the house theme song playing we're never leaving this house

o carente but its not really or maybe it is i dont actually know what the song is for in calamidade joui is not a fan of the doll room who is the eyeball who is the eyeball the drippy sound are the eyeballs the dolls god dammit kaiser at least arthur isnt looking joui vs a closet joui lost

is the eyeball related to death since its basically stealing time away from kaiser ill start fist fighting i still think the eyeball issue is connected specifically to kaiser and hes accidentally spreading it to other people but if thats true why can dante see them whats the connection GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH do they have to be told about it???? will lu and erin start seeing them now too

LIZ WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO JOUI WAAAAAAAAAAA

cellbit doesnt believe in the power of the safari search engine someone needs to take luciano's gun away hes shooting everything

did daniel hartmann also write this book so glad we're reading the haunted doll book in the haunted doll room in the haunted house no way theres a portuguese test erin and dante dont know portuguese cursive writing defeats yet another player

hey can we figure out who cut the wires in the van thats yet another haunted house mystery unsolved WASHING MACHINE POG NEVERMIND 4 dolls 4 people that can see the eyesballs ive got it we have to sacrifice joui, arthur, dante, and kaiser portuguese defeats yet another player

THIS HOUSE IS IMPOSSIBLE do they have to take photos why is kaiser filling up the bathtub is he gonna take a bath erin's lighting incense to try and make the house smell nicer dante was climbing boxes eu sou luciano what the hell are joui and dante even doing

voce é um gênio arthur!!!! eu sei :))) JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser dont let arthur in that bathroom ??????? huge brain moment kaiser hang on hes about to fucking drown no way arthur is coming to rescue him alright nobody's allowed near water by themselves anymore what the fuck was that

whaAAAAAT thats crazy anyways jouixarthur?? also happy pride month FOUR DOLLS POGGGGGGGGG erin's not allowed to open any doors if she has to roll a sanity test she'll explode english jumpscare i can hear the drippinggggg

going off the name of the song from calamidade im going to assume all the ghost kids just want a hug and then we can leave no problem :) none of these people have ever talked to a kid in their lives wait the emo kid from across the street??? goth is a lifestyle joui

ah nao we're about to go kidnap the goth kid from across the street luciano might just be the absolute worst person to go and talk to some kid send arthur and joui they are by far the friendliest ?????????????? what do you mean luciano what do you MEAN erin also a good choice shes friendly happy pride month the chair moves incredible

please stop comparing your abs please im begging you stop please por favor pare por favor eu vou morrer guys you cant just bring this kid into the haunted house with luciano shirtless thank god

is this joui's first date this is horrific joui you're soooo this is going incredibly poorly already where are these kids parents cellbit playing three believable NPCs at once is so fun omg Hugo the little brother is MISSING??? joui dont threaten the 16 year old omg Hugo so small manga and snacks thats all he needs joui HATES teenagers joui is so cool to hugo

dante and luciano absolutely RUINING their cover guysssss you're scaring the 15 year olds DAMN JOUI absolutely rolled luciano amigos imaginarios.... bruxo...... hugo about to be kaiser and arthur's new lil bro dante HATES teenagers maybe tim is hiding in the washing machine actually maybe hes in the doll closet bro tim is 11??? they made it sound like hes 5

nevermind ive got it tim is hiding in the coffin tim better not be in the van theres a bea in it why the fudge is this kid in the van :(

im well aware that theres a monster in some season thats called the imaginary friend so tim is making me awfully nervous jesus christ do eduarda's parents know she can do this anyways horrible feeling one of these kids is gonna get possessed and they'll have to fight it

music picking up uh ohhhhh luciano listen i get it i also think they should kill not-dead-bea but this isnt a conversation you should be having with 4 kids in the room tim is one of you imaginary friends in the room with us

dont worry guys ive got it kian is currently possessing tim thats the solution ok the neighbour is kian ive got it for sure kian is everywhere hes in the sofa in the sink in your shoes kian is the neighbours dog ive got it all figured out INTERIOR DESIGN

if i read assombração forçada literally it definitely doesnt sound like a good thing wtf is a forced haunting kian sabe.... are we talking like they took all these live kids and made them possessed or something are there a bunch of kids buried under the house joui's having a brain blast alright ive got it all figured out for sure for real kian is being passed around to different kids bodies so that he never dies thats the solution KIAN IS OROCHIMARU LOLLLLL

dante i think you need to admit that some of your friends from the orphange are all fucked up now and have done really bad things

CATS KIAN IS A CAT IVE FIGURED IT OUT KIAN IS JENNIFER ooooooooooooooo arthurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr WAAAAAAAAA OW???? OUCHIES voce ta bem??? CLARO QUE NAO joui needs a rabies shot now cellbit if you hurt hugo im gonna be really upset ????????????????

daniel hartmann you motherfucker guiltiest man once alive and you deserve it what the hell was wrong with you

EP 14 MUITO BOA NOITE

erin with 21 sanity really doing well for herself the real boss of the house is the handwriting in these notes luciano and dante are getting rolled we still haven't unlocked that stupid laptop thats kinda awkward daniel has a whole fanbase waiting for a new book but he got chomped in half

someone get hugo away from the blood pile hes gonna start trying to steal some jennifer isnt like.... infecting them is she dante if the teenagers think you're cool then you are so cool cassiano probably wants your autograph wait so its not the cat ok ive got it the cat is obviously trying to protect them from the monster jennifer would never hurt anyone

kaiser is accidentally infecting everyone with the eyesballs somehow i know it we keep talking about time sus sus sus sus sus sus

ok ive read the last three paragraphs many many times and all ive gathered is this monster is following jennifer but it realised kaiser is super hot so now it wants to kiss him and also all of kaiser's friends and also ivete so the solution is kaiser and arthur take a nap while everyone hides and watches

ordem paranormal sleepover if theres only 16 cat eyes then that means one of the cats (JENNIFER) escaped idk about this one dante noooo arthur im sure jennifer isnt evil she just has an imaginary friend following her around and it wants to eat your face joui i dont know about this one 18 cat eyes jennifer is NOT haunted

joui quit being a bitch you're only carrying a drawer full of eyesballs what if we try to burn only 1 eyeball dante and kaiser defeat the singular eyeball joui burns the eyeballs this surely wont have a negative affect

o game cheiro LMAOO i cant stop thinking about the game cheiro now

i have the solution dante should sit ON TOP of the wardrobe then he can jump whatever comes out of it oh my god i thought cellbit was roleplaying someone muffled screaming but its arthur's phone ringing ivete :) wait doesnt ivete have the possibly haunted jennifer with her ARTHUR TELL IVETE TO TELL SOMEONE YOUR VAN IS FUCKED YOU GUYS ARE STRANDED

are we bringing ivete to the haunted house idk about this one guys joui wants his bow so bad WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAAT YOU SAW WHAT IVETE YOU SAw wghaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAT YOU SAW HUH WHAT THE FUCK GUYSSSSSS the girls are fighting again o dear kaiser fernando this is really a horrible time to show up

ivete is here i have anxiety do we really bring jennifer in the house tho do we really bring ivete in the house tho aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa joui i love you you're such a little loser just let him hold the shotgun for 5 minutes nobody in the call trusts cellbit with jennifer IM SO WORRIED listen if i have to pick between ivete and jennifer i pick ivete every time please dont murder her cellbit

we're at the point where they're just threatening cellbit this is like the absolute worst thing i could be watching at 3:30 right before bed what the hell NOBODY HEARS ANYTHING cellbit's having the time of his life KAISER GETS UP???? WHAT HTHE FUCK IS THAAAAT THATS BEEN HAUNTING JENNIFER???????????? THATS BEEN HAUNTING KAISER AND ARTHUR AND IVETE????? DANIEL HARTMANN YOU ASSHOLE

cellbit it so hyped for this im so afraid wow what a nice heal dante oooooo erin using her energy kaiser was not ready if they let this thing escape im gonna wait they're bullying it ???????? QUE FODA IS RIGHT AI WAIT ARTHUR HAS 4 HP luciano remembers everything??????? we leave kaiser alone with fingers and not-kaiser okay OUCH NOT-ARTHUR IS CRAZY WITH IT REAL ARTHUR IS ALSO CRAZY WITH IT kaiser is getting rolled all because he took a nap DANTE CANT HIT SHITTTTT cellbit you YOUUUU 'isnt kaiser one of your important people?" youuuuuuuuuuu

joui stop getting shot by kaiser challenge failed 12 DAMAGE??? DANTE WITH ONE HEAL EARLIER porra ivete minha querida ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? erin. JOUIIIIII we're all failing everything today ivete is fucking nasty with it IVETTTEEEEE PLEEEASE KILL KAISER 2 cellbit you're gonna have to drag ivete out of guaxi's cold dead hands KAISER IS SO SLEEPY kaiser failing EVERYTHING kaiser 2 is fucking CRAZY HES SO STRONG HES IN THE MATRIX arthur rolled a one im gonna lose my brain my mind its all crumbling to dust kaiser rolled a 1 cellbit what the fuck

ivete putting in work FRAKAISER joui you arent allowed in the kaiser 2 fight you already lost dante a true healer about to start beating his patients to near death aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA luciano just demolished kaiser 2 HES STILL ALIVE???? NEVERMIND LETS GOOOO joui has broken free of his hallway prison kaiser killsteal

kaiser and arthur taking a little nap joui going to treat ivete :))))))))) no matter how many times cellbit tries to explain first aid it will never not be confusing jennifer i knew you werent evil just haunted sick tattoo arthur but im not really feeling it theres still ghosts up in here

EPISODE FIFTEEEEEEEN i have a bad feeling that if erin dies im going to be really sad how has this happened i kind of love her

kaisers taking a nap onnnnnn the floor arthur hugging im grthgbfdsahvgkjbldsav damn luciano straight to the point at least its a cool looking tattoo arthur tries to transcend with the tattoo and he just explodes oh kaiser is just laying on the ground with the espreitador

still cant get over the fact that daniel hartmann made this thing dude if i was him and i made these kinds of creatures without fully realizing i would also feel horrible

the doll face is kind of horrible get it away joui kaiser doesnt need more drugs he needs bedtime hes gonna have a heart attack "foi legal" ok mister i got shot in the chest OOP? KAISER AND JOUIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is so 'dante can you grab my shirt from the floor?'

ERIN CAN FIX THE VANNNNNNNN bea is still in the van danteeee you gotta do something about this erin you are so cool you fix that van you can do anything THE PIZZAS who the fuck stole a slice ivete payed for those erin why are you grinning like that VAN FIXED ERIN I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU ATE A SLICE OF PIZZA

the most van ride ever the sleeping passengers the bea the pizza mystery erin's about to crash the car because of the cheese bread this is gonna be so awkward when they get to the base SO awkward

fuck you kaiser you are a good person when bea was trying to kill you guys you didnt even try to hurt her IVETE I LOVE YOUUUUU WAAAAAAAAAAA bro ivete is actually gonna make me cry wtf health regen humungous we deserve this kaiser with the xqc sticc body type what are the odds that when dante tries to look into bea's mind its just screaming and agony verissimo is missing okaay

I LOVE ERIN erinnnnn you're breaking this in the worst way possible they dont know tristan is deaaaaad kalera is so cool dude

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARCELA IS MATHEUS' MOM THERES THREE PEOPLE IN THIS CALL THAT JUST STRAIGHT UP BULLIED HIM flashback to alex sneaking matheus a note and the kid just reading it out loud

btw im still obsessed with how they say "hugo" in a brazillian accent thats amazing all hugo should be said like that

clarissa is here this is really awkward are you gonna tell her kaiser orrr oof

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING ARTHUR?" kaiser asks while punching him

cellbit stop smiling when you ask if dante is ready to hear bea's thoughts stop it nvm he sent it to break evil mestre

well i wasnt wrong WHOA WHOA WHA get dante outta there what the hell fuck thats :(

that was horrific kaiser theres alot of people locked up in the base prison joui wants to meditate with kaiser sooooo bad if anyone offered to meditate with him he might cry i fucking love tetris

>:( :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

dante is in unconscious jail OH JOUI thats so awkward you understand what has to be done arthur is TWENTY EIGHT hes so young thats fucked up you stole his whole family from him hes still in his twenties MY BODY IS A TEMPLE

oh. that sucks joui you wouldnt hit a blind man would you

this is so awkward for everyone else living in the ordem prison that can hear this i just think we dont go back to the orphanage?????? that place sucks???? kaiser about to gain the ritual of turning someone into a puppet kaiser thinks omitting details and lying are two different things very interesting surveillance ritual

damn ordem makes me want to punch my monitor

wait DAMN OH SHIT i didnt even realiese until kaiser fucking said something just now but they ARE listening and watching from the symbol tattoed on arthur thats fucked if i had to guess its the sect of masks that did it???? to watch joui?? but strange that the doll face with the same symbol was in the mansion unless the house and the sect of masks are connected somehow

i feel like its better to tell arthur, like who cares if the people listening know, itll be easier to hide shit if arthur understands .... the neighbours? im telling you the neighbour's dog is secretly kian

im a big fan of pizza thats been sitting out for too long thats my toxic trait erin rich as heck we wouldnt make dante sleep on the floor would we hes kind of depressed right now JOUI damn joui they're making dante breakfast and everything kaiser you're being a freak .....we havent heard from grandma in a while

jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii u stay here u little

EPISODE 16 WOOOOOOOOO the kaiser thumbnail is wicked

we live in a world where someone or something has definitely gone and dug up bea's body but thats just my opinion

"hm" JOUIIIIIIIIIII JUST HAVE A SLEEPOVER WITH ARTHUR E KAISER "of course, you slept with dante" JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser is too smart brain too big

ooooooo agathinha foi mal is right arthur's fucking giggle bro stop agatha so mad he got a tattoo without her maybe we ask joui for advice before trying to remove the tattoo "can you hold my hand" arthur makes me want to punch my monitor 11 DAMAGE LOOOL

CARALHO TÁ MUITO FODA joui's so mad hes transcending

they're gonna get back to the house and the kids wandering around it

the computer guys are so funny i think if you turn on an actual light in their room they'll all shrivel up and die letícia is nice but if a strong wind comes she will blow away into dust

to be clear i would steal from the ordem just to see what would happen missed opportunity to see ivete go on a manhunt for who stole her supplies fernando SUCKS at pool joui you're such a little loser i love you kaiser you have to teach arthur how to actually play tetris he doesnt get it

we back in canada baby get the poutine i just noticed the name of this episode :)))))))))) its my favourite ordem song you dont understand

THE OLD PEOPLE DIIIIEDDDD KIAN THE DOG KILLED THEM AND STOLE THEIR BODIES fresta amongus no way we were talking to ghosts bro they ate ghost cake erin's mask is awesome the knowledge and energy guys were kissing in here aren't they supposed to hate each other when did luciano get here

guys kaiser is going through a crisis he's trying to change himself for the better but hes really self conscious about it

HUUUUGGOOOOO hugo dont add random adults on whatsapp even if they like g-force joui would fight a teenager if their name was cassiano

mmmmmmm coffin soup aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa naaaaaaaaaaao lodo preto burn it burn it burn it burn it tchau lodo preto nevermind nevermind nevermind tchau lodo preto arthur dont fucking touch it ...espiral escape room mestre THE PASSWORD IS KIAN THE PASSWORD IS KIAN dammit the password is olho the password is olho

joui you get away from that spiral corpse THE PASSWORD IS HUGO the password is door 4 students desks amongus the password is four the blackboard is haunted haunted chiclete

wowie sheet music if they zoom in on it more i could read it wait thats THE SONG THATS THE BEST SONG some death guy about to come punch them all

i feel like ive lost the plot i need someone to summarize leonardo gomes for me, we think he's kian right??? like his body is kian and we're trying to track leo down to find kian because theyre the same person technically right if not then im watching an entire different show lmao

bmail musicinha if fernando gets fucked up like bea did does the same thing happen to luciano since they share a body or not because they dont really share a mind

its a familiar song to joui... to be clear this is the best song ever dangerous song ?????? cellbit you stop that play the song again joui its so good i dont care if its sending us to hell or whatever

it is boa cellbit fuck you if this song sends you into a coma im screwed oop oop oop oop THAT THING IS AWESOME WHAT THE HELL WICKED COOL SO COOL death has the best monsters

eu fracassei 24 damage is crazy what the hell ah nao she just started the monsters second phase joui get the fuck outta the way erin's demolishing this guy arthur's nice with it luciano playing the drums joui that was so cool theyre bullying this dude

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHATS ON THE LAPTOPPPPPPP

stepped on a lego normal kids room with a summoning symbol in it wait havent we heard if tirigan before TIM'S IMAGINARY FRIEND?? thats not good your imaginary friend should not be friends with other people ooooo arthur so smart liz would be so proud JOUI SAID IT TOO WAAAA

????????????????????????????????????????????????? alvaro was all over the place also CRAZY that alex doesnt get noticed in this paper dudes so unlucky even in death number 1 alvaro augusto hater btw what a guy

LOL THE SKULL luciano how did you not break it into 1 million pieces no way the body were we supposed to burn this thing plEASE DONT THROW A GRENADE TOWARDS KAISERRRRR this song is so good ill actually never get over it joui is escaping the hallway very smart hallways and doorways very dangerous kaiser about to chuck himself down the stairs

joui not jealous joui never jealous someone should touch the sludge for fun they're gonna have to fight the corpse a third time but now it'll deal burn damage erin almost died on the stairs

LAPTOPPPPPPPPPPPP POGGGGGGGGGGG WE MADE ITTTTTT WINDOWS XP UH OH THAT NOTEPAD DOESNT LOOK TOO GOOD anyways my favourite element is death kaiser wanted to hack the email so bad we really moved into a haunted house and THEN adopted a child not what i would do but whatever

'good luck surviving until then' okay buddy dude this guy doesnt stay away THERES MORE are these the dead kids ISNT GRENADE THREE THE DESASTRE ROLL JUST WONDERING JUST CURIOUS erin is these guys' worst nightmare he rolled a 1 against her how sad AI JOUI FUCKIN SLIPPED OR SEOMTHING HIS INSIDES ARE GETTING TOSSED LIKE A SALAD arthur and fernando jamming out who even cares about death skeletons

luciano fucking sucks at playing the guitar foda demais ITS OUTSIIIIDE ARE THE KIDS ACROSS THE STREET SEEING THIS SHIT HUGO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW wwe superstar luciano hitting a frog splash

joui and erin you two are so lame together i say lovingly joui is not jealous at all ever about any attention that arthur gives to anyone else JOUI THATS SO RUDE KKKK DONT JUDGE HER 3 WORDS SHE KNOWS IN JAPANESE

carro chegando who the fuck is here go away this house is haunted as heck off topic but eita is such a good word IVETE GO HOME WHATS WRONG WITH YOU oh she's dante's uber driver

EP 17 tamo junto

dante you missed the party cool sunglasses tho someone should probably keep an eye on dante so he doesnt take a tumble down the stairs yes ivete please leave the haunted house probably wants to eat you WAAAAA I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT THEY STOLE BEA'S BODY was it gal or the mask guys tho gal is more connected to the orphanage and also hes A FUCKING ASSHOLE

ghost footprints kaiser's never seen a shoe in his life arthur making sure dante doesnt take a tumble down the stairs joui also but im pretty sure hes just being jealous again not the bathroom again :DDDDD

fresta amongus "what do you do?" i shut the door and leave the house get a nice minimum wage job and forget i ever worked for the ordem nevermind i run in and try to grab the book out of her hands to see what happens "ghosts dont exist" okay joui jesussss what ythr fuck

really like how even tho dante is blind now he can still use any ritual he needs to, he doesnt just get written off as useless

maybe the book they need is the BIBLE nevermind daniel you fucker wait that could be such a good idea, turn the water main off, turn on all the taps, and then turn the water main back on no problem no drowning

joui sus joui what were you planning last night sus joui where are you going sus joui why are you the thumbnail for this episode sus joui why have you been so weird since the sect of masks incident sus happy pride month

erin thats fucking creepy this house is a mess are we gonna be cleaning it after this is all over succ stop laughing at cellbit's succ rp WE GET TO SWIM NEVERMIND THE POOL WATER IS NASTY no way we walk up to the pool this is how the entire group dies bro surely the kids across the street are seeing this shit

hello i have a terrible fear of drowning and deep water this is awful THAT THING IS COOL SHES GOOEY 'only kaiser can shoot me' you stop that bullying the pool woman ??????dante OW???? JOUI???? jou you are so in the way is there any way you can move slightly to the left thats horrific luciano how is she still aliiiive mmmmm tripas dante you are just so far away nvm you are now much closer joui is getting ROLLED OH YEAH LUCIANO IS DROWNING KAISER IS BEING SMOTHERED

they're getting absolutely demolished by a swimming pool why does this woman have so much HEALTH DANTEEEE NAAAAAO LMAOOOOOOO LUCIANO IS FUCKING DYINGGGGG

what is this scenario cellbit has created were they supposed to go outside and fist fight the pool because this is going so so so badly was there a better way to go about it YEAAAAAH ARTHURRRRRR

LUCIANO ATE THE FUCKING KEY THEYRE ALL PUKINGGGG

"whispers??????? jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii THE KIDS WERE WATCHING YESSSSSSS arthur heal steal this house is a horrible mess what do they actually do with once finished

IS THIS THE LAST DOOOOOOOR ARE WE FINALLY GETTING INNNNN i forgot dante is blind this room is awesome

oooo this kid was pissed WHOA WHOA LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS CRAZYYYYYYY yum blood symbol hate those guys arthur just breathed into kaiser's ear we're not gonna go bother this random guy are we the skate doesnt have a symbol how uncool i want to transcend with the skate

arthur, joui, and kaiser are DISGUSTING together i love them happy............... pride.................... month...................

:) im smiling through the pain joui you stop this you arent going anywhere they should just go smoke some of the weed in the living room next time joui goes to pee the sect of masks are gonna crawl out the toilet and kidnap him

kaiser's nicotine withdrawal is actually just a cover because hes afraid of losing another person hes close to but its okay ill just believe hes really mad about having to buy more cigarettes

why do you say that like you know you have no choice on if luciano allows you to come back or not fernando im gonna break something

we're gonna go ruin this random guy's life arthur if you werent driving this could be a three way hug its impossible for us to have to fight two haunted apartments in one season

fourth floor.... simply i would not answer the door if there were 6 random people standing outside it ooooooooooooooo joui i dont think frederico wants to relive this guyssss hes freaking out maybe we should have brought him some water or a snack

i think frederico needs to find a new therapist probably one that works for the ordem lmao i thought kaiser was gonna start raiding his kitchen we just showed up at this guy's house, ruined his day, and left kian sabe OQ QUE O KIAN SABE no way we're actually leaving someone rob his house or something

sus the whispers also want to stop at a drive thru equipe e WAAAAAAAAA ...this music is...nice rakin staring suspiciously at cellbit is me rn

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

what the fuck

EPISODE 18 what the fuck

what the fuck

luis talking about an osnf fancam where am i

im so sad but this intro slaps every time THERES JOUI HES IN THE INTRO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

who is tirigan also isnt the house still haunted

wow i wonder who left this note gfmnksbonçfjksbgrtfsnkjvgbjifostbgpgnfbsjgfs im fine

大丈夫

AGATHAAAAAAAA new csgo knife skin just dropped RITUAL STORE IS AWESOME if joui was here he would be so mad he would also buy something out of spite QUE FODA too bad its not the skate

o violão de ódio incontrolável sounds awesome 44% paranormal exposure kinda nuts arthur kinda crazy kinda know alot arthur glow up next enemy they meet he's gonna bulldoze them dante kinda tense maybe go sit in the sun for a bit absorb the energy

MATH money is difficult you have so much but then you buy 2 things and suddenly you have none kaiser hates shopping i would also buy the spiral ring you can do it fernando i believe in you

wait hes actually doing it pop off fernando you earned this nvm you're still giving it to luciano but at least the other side doesn't hate your ass anymore

i stopped this episode for a whole week because i was so sad about joui where am i who am i i love agatha

i would collect healing rituals like pokemon cards are there occultists selling rituals on ebay we are all so paranormally exposed but how far can you go before it starts to become not such a good thing bea's brain became alphabet soup sooo

WHERE IS YOUR GRANDMA ERIN IS SHE A HACKER IS SHE DEAD IS SHE A ZUMBI DE SANGUE is she kian kian sabe kian out here sleeping with your grandma erin did you know that

question can i use someone else to transcend and learn a ritual like if i drag arthur into the circle and try to transcend with his tattoo do i learn that same ritual also does arthur explode if this happens

to be clear if you could steal a ritual off of Agatha she would either kill and dismember you OR start loading you up with as many rituals as possible just to see what would happen "take this one and this one and this one and-"

agatha and arthur make me want to punch my monitor oh :( agatha :( what are we even talking about bolo de coco ive lost the plot

kian body hopping like orochimaru he'd better not have a thing for snakes arthur doesn't know shit

reading is HARD if you kill kian's body does he swoop into the next one is there a curse mark that he puts on prospective bodies to use once he loses one do you know who else does that

wow i sure do understand this journal perfectly thanks arnaldo fritz but actually the last page hes translating the STONE and its talking about the elements i know this because i can read HUGO????? hugo just stopped my train of thought completely one of the kids is possesed its tim isnt it tim are you housing kian in your soul

HUGOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO cellbit said you guys are taking too long so this kid is gonna get it joui is hiding in the fridge like a freak

COMO NAO VELHO no illegal weapon modifications allowed i like how cellbit always has to reassure them that they wont get in a car crash unless they roll a 1 they're so afraid

poggers neblina poggers névoa not poggers sangue awkward not to be that guy but the guard is gonna turn into a blood zombie i dont like this song if that one fucker is here im gonna where hugo where hugo where hugo this is not a public bus go away

nvm the car crash fears have been realized oooooooo were leaving the van idk about this one guys occultists hate canada naaaao this freak maybe he's just taking his dog for a walk LMAAAAAAOOOO this guy monologuing and kaiser just 'what the fuck are you even talking about'

this thing is about to ruin everyone's lives wait hes so cool we're so dead HIS CHARACTER MODEL IS COOOOOL TEN DAMAGE :DDDDDDDDDDDDD dante just ruined this guy's life so smart water beats fire or something OW OUCH OW RUINED KAISER'S LIFE HIS DAY HIS FACE luciano idk about getting closer to that guy

i wonder what the inside of the enpap's mind sounds like slapped erin and kaiser the fuck outta the way HE LOVES IT luciano this is so awkward for you this guy's favourite movie is the terminator

wait so was that mark put on arthur originally by gal because how else would this guy know that they had been here

erinnnnnnn just got bulldozed ARTHUR YOU SUCK THAT WAS THE WORST BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS KAISER GFUCKING ATE THOSE HITS if you kill the enpap and it falls on kaiser its gonna squash him like bread "é o kaiser" kaiser is busy dying fuck you his lungs look like a wet towel right now wow erin that was so nice but also you have 2 health

we all suck at dodging KAISERRRRR ERINNNNNNNNNNNN dante doesnt know what the hell is going on btw enpap smol NVM DANTE ACTUALLY RUINED THIS GUY'S LIFE

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD leave kaiser alone "im going to take care of kaiser" kaiser is getting kidnapped right now im gonna im gonna gimgf njgtbtrnsdfov fdeajvrfgfdxhb trsevlfd sbvhgutfirodsbgngjfskblnbjgfskibo

arthurrrrrrrGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA bruno you bitch thats your friend hello hello hello am i crazy hello can we leave kaiser alone hello

fucking hell i need like 10 minutes after that

clara is fucking nuts also where did she come from i wasnt looking i was in great distress EH?mommy hey where are the kids from across the street so bea had the answers but because of kian and birds we lost it HOW'S THIS GUY ALIVE luis is so mad damn clara that sucks this guy is nuts :D

wait this song is awesome luciano fuck him up you wanted this so bad nvm you missed he's doing knife tricks

marca um símbolo oh no :) personally i wouldnt step in front of a dante that's aiming a gun bruno sneezed when he swung at the guy nice luciano um ouch how nice how cool i hate the blood element btw this guy is the WhySoSerious emote

punch him in the mouth nice luciano nvm you got fucked up maybe you should sit the rest of this fight out buddy draws a symbol on himself bro's about to pull a hidan hopefully nobody here is asuma

so can we heal over these marks so he cant use them orrrrrr UNDER THE FRIDGE?? we gotta start moving fridges in every house now

so glad we're back in the house also where are the neighbour kids huh what did you do with them cellbit we made ramen next to this fridge and everything never realized there was a basement underneath

'meu enpapzinho meu filho' ok cellbit

EPISODE 19 cadê o hugo

this is like a field trip everyone gets a nametag so mestre doesn't lose them

this song makes me feel so knowledgeable it only took me 2 tries to spell that what if bruno tripped and fell farther into the hall that would suck hihihihihihihi

maybe we don't let bruno grab any more papers KKKKK uh ohh....

god dammit guys we all got locked out ??????? impossível ser what succal?????? this thing about to kiss dante or what can we not just shoot this one anthony is making it sound like we cant just kill her is she the key

big group in a hallway this is going to be horrible wild choice to wade in the disease water someone's going to get a parasite are there mosquitos down here have we had our vaccines

?????????????????????? THAT SUCKS BRUNO THAT SUCKS THATS HORRIBLE i would fall over and die pretty sure luciano just saved all their asses cachorro de sangue WOOF WOOF

these knowledge guys are kinda crazy how are the hypnotized death guys somehow the most sane ones in the series so far Ike arent you cold down here without a shirt kaiser rolls a 1 great start bruno fofo dont die tho BRUNO???? THAt WAS THE WORST ATTACK EVER KKKKKK OW KAISER LOL ike went and took all of kaiser's luck with shooting

erin flanking she's playing valorant ???????? ?????? ????????? ??????? ???? ????????? ???????? can we all keep our clothes on in the hunted sewers please bruno i have the solution just kick ike in the knee you're right there wait hes actually trying to kick his knee in thats awesome

surely they dont have to fight bruno later at the end of this dungeon

arthur doesnt miss except when he does

no way why are the children in the knowledge sewer why cant 6 people walk as quietly as 1 why cant we walk on our tippy toes HUGO THATS A SICK GAMING ROOM HUGO WHO IS YOUR FRIEND IN THE GAMING ROOM STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS

HUUUUUUGOOOO WHYYYYY this is the coolest thing that's ever happened to hugo luciano hugo cant pause he's playing an online game wait his name does say lucifer thats awesome so smart dante if hugo dies in the game he dies in real life

hi mia this is a really bad time like a really bad time like you couldn't have picked a worse time 4 d6 is insane hugo i love you omg kaiser and hugo gaming together this is just a game cellbit would actually play

is anyone writing down the directions kaiser is going this could be important rakin looks so suspicious of this game the enemies are about to come crawling out the screen succal you're ruining the gamer vibes OW goodbye sanity

tirigan, the last living escripta?????????????? until kian grows enough?????? TIM IS KIAN TIM ISNT TIRIGAN YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND tirigan is tim's imaginary friend right im not mixing this up i cant just go to the wiki and look and i dont feel like going back to episode whatever to check i could be very wrong

nvm i went back to check and tim is talking about tirigan dude kian is possessing his body mega sus shelf why they have all these pictures why they have cris and daniel and IS THAT ALEX FROM SEASON 1 LOLLLL

ERINS GRANDMA IS ALIVE SHES A HACKER FOR THE BAD GUYS WHY ISNT TRISTAN'S FACE SCRATCHED OUT thiago :( all these ordem members but not veríssimo am i wrong for not trusting him tristan's head got opened like a hotdog bun hes not alive

o anfitrião....

i changed my mind kian is erin's grandma maybe these are all the bodies kian wants to save so he can just hop between them when he needs to after they die idk what you're gonna do with daniel tho he kinda got ate

check behind liz's picture or else please check alex's photo i have the solution erin's grandma is the host UE????????? meu deus we suck at this puzzle damn they really stole fernando's body kinda messed up kinda :( bit aggressive luciano but you've earned it

LOLLLL KAISER THATS FUICKED UP HUUUUGOOOOOOOOOO

19 SANITY arthur you just saved hugo's small teenager brain did they kidnap erin's grandma or did she trip and fall into a chaos lair and become imbued with the power of chaos

can we burn alvaro's body not because he might be haunted or anything but just because he's an asshole DONT PANIC DONT PANIC DONT PANIC THEYRE LOST HLEP HELP haunted shelf

wait i love the emo knowledge duo nvm they're being kinda rude nice one kaiser awesome roll ritual of hate on bruno.... :D erin i wouldnt get in his line of sight dante see nothing LOL HUGO get away from here kish is getting rolled not to be that guy but i think we should be focusing erica

oh no that was her best friend sorry erica LOLLLLLL KAISER RUNNNNN ARTHURRRR NAAAAOOO erin back up erin back up cellbit rolling 1000 dice for bruno's attack OW BRUNO bruno this is really awkward you just fucked kaiser up

no arthur it was a great idea everyone just decided to just hang out around the pissed off bruno

erin vs ammo btw wheres tim wow i understand that paper perfectly the succal is crazy with it WE'RE LOST not lost massive puzzle moment we are puzzling daniel's ass should go on a statue that's called "guilt"

YEAH EDUARDA WHERE IS TIM they're gonna open the door and there's going to be an exorcism to separate kian from tim it's a shame bruno is a cellbit npc so he's probably going to die horribly

can we just kill this anthony guy already i dont like him

gal is the last person tim should be hanging out with

the succ+ is strong against both metagaming and grenades erin's about to go CRAZY NICE DAMAGE ARTHUR NICE isnt knowledge good against energy can we read it a book ive figured it out erin's grandma is the succ+

erin if your gonna go mad at least go try to take anthony out with you

ERIN ROLLS A 1 THATS CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY

dante hates the energy woman he hates the succ++ wtf

erin... :D what :D no way anthony is still alive can someone go kill him THANK YOU LUCIANO kaiser hes so dead his brain is goo oops lucifer and erin are kind of friends arent they

arthur and kaiser paranormal exposure makes me kinda nervous :D go roll around on the symbol on the ground see what happens

kalera you're so cool

erin's still in the ending credits its not over till its over

EP 20 I JUST WANT TO SEE KIAN COME CRAWLING OUT OF TIM'S CORPSE

its been so long

rakin can you actually see luis actually getting to cosplay this time pop off bro just dont die im mentally prepared for erin to become dust

arthur and kaiser kinda matching kinda cute kinda wish joui was here to match with them :)))))))))))))

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cerosin-bis · 2 years ago

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Can there be more nikto headcanon s pls?

Yes 😳 I have never done a post for my Nikto headcanons so I'm happy to do so!

Attemps at drawing my face headcanon for him in my #nikto tag (continuously updated) (my first attempt is very old, 2020)

Used to be a high level swimmer. He loves water. (gratuitous correlative: very muscled back)

He LOVES competition. Fueled by it. He can and will prove everyone he's better at literally anything. His ego is huge and can in fact be damaged.

Deep cover agents can be super young, I imagine Nikto to be now (in mw19 I mean) in his early to mid 30s

Sounds older than his age because his voice is naturally raspy AND bc he smokes 1-2 packs a day

Keeps his hair in sort of an overgrown, flat mohawk to have a symmetrical haircut. It "damage controls" the area where his hair is gone/skin burnt. Fashion baby.

Tall (~193cm). Wide. Naturally muscled but with a layer of fat. Physically very very strong.

Has a massive cross tattooed on his back. Used to be a believer (Christian orthodox) and then the horrors.

Tends to eat way less than he should given his constitution. He forgets: he has a complicated relationship with, like, basic functions and needs

Has incredible balance and no sense of vertigo. He's steady on his feet (unless he's dissociating. of course)

Tends to be a leader in groups, and is a good strategist. He's often the one to give the orders, even when Bale is deployed along

Cut ties with his family, refuses to even mention them: there's a before/after torture and he can't go back to his "before" life.

White boy supreme. Nikto avoids the sun at all costs because he burns.

More under the cut regarding his condition. (CW: mention of dark themes, trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms)

Like I often, say, these are just my personal headcanons and they can coexist with others'/I don't pretend to grasp the character better than anyone!

I imagine him to have, on top of his (general) dissociative disorder, PTSD-induced psychosis and other things. His PTSD is exclusively linked to his torture, no other event.

Most of Nikto's scars are chemical burns. scars aren't that extensive on his body, they are mostly limited to his face and left shoulder/upper back and chest.

Nikto has psychotic outbursts during which he can hallucinate, dissociate and/or gets violent intrusive thoughts. Channels/"controls" his anger quite well, but not his immediate physical reactions

Takes multiple medications (neuros/benzos) for his condition but since the latter is heavily sedative he only takes it when it's bad and not when deployed on hostile ground lol, so it's not regular at all. which doesn't help, but we won't mention that

He can get extremely physically violent: he is first and foremost a danger for others before being a danger for himself

Self-harms when he has absolutely nothing or no one else to lash out onto

Very prone to gratuitous displays of violence anytime he can, much like Krueger.

#headcanons #nikto #call of duty #mw19 #modern warfare #cod nikto #nikto headcanons #nikto hcs

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loquaciousquark · 2 years ago

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4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3E24 - Calamity (July 5, 2022)

Tonight’s guests: Laura, Ashley, Aabria, and Marisha! I didn’t realize how tall Aabria was until we saw her sitting next to Sam in Calamity, and standing next to Laura and a seated Marisha/Ashley, I am impressed anew at her height. Laura is devastated to land host and immediately butchers the pronunciation of “Laerryn”, which is very funny. Also Omar is here wearing a harness, and he’s beautiful!

What the Fuck is Up With That? Laura & Marisha are so sad about Imogen & Laudna’s busted friendship. It was heartbreaking in the moment and they both clung to each other after, while also being pleased at the drama. Imogen is baldly jealous of Laudna’s friendship with Dusk. Aabria: “What’s more girlboss than getting a drastic haircut after a bad breakup?”

There’s an inset Omar cam of a crew member (?) playing with Omar, which is ADORABLE.

Everyone laughs at Ashley’s huge reactions and dropped jaw during the Imogen/Laudna fight. They inset the relevant clip! That’s so nice! Laura remembers big reactions to Vax and Keyleth.

Marisha was trying to listen to Matt in this scene as he portrayed Delilah, trying to glean clues through his dialogue, only to still be blindsided by Delilah’s evilness. “You lied” made Aabria’s whole body hurt. Marisha hates friend/friend conflict but is totally onboard with stranger conflict. She could feel that “burning in the back of my head” to fix this immediately. Laura had to fight her natural reaction of, “It’s fine, it’s fine, I know you didn’t mean to!”

Calamity! Aabria loves that everything we know in Tal’Dorei is technically a post-apocalyptic world. Marisha likes that this previously amorphous conflict now has real grounding. Ashley loved how advanced the tech was.

Laura: “Can we talk about Brennan’s jamming?” Aabria: “Can we? That monster.” Lots of praise for style and lamenting from Laura that she didn’t get to play with him.

When they originally sat down to plan Calamity, Laura was going to play a wizard with a very specific place in the city. Due to scheduling conflicts, she wasn’t able to, and Marisha took the concept and ran with it. “Everything after that was you.” Marisha talks about it almost being a Sam/Liam situation where Laura planted her character seed & Marisha made it real. It gave Marisha a good excuse to not get in the weeds with class selection.

Aabria loved that the brief of “you must play a high-status character” conflicted with the common ragtag band of nobodies many D&D groups start with. She decided to be That Engineer who’s responsible for magnificent tech but never gets around to writing down how it’s accomplished, then has that knowledge lost in the apocalypse.

The lore document for Calamity was 8 pages long (not 20) and broken down by category, including important NPCs for each character. Matt apparently does the same thing for the main campaign; Taliesin and Sam have a “beefy doc” for Bassuras.

Marisha also felt that playing these hypercompetent characters compared to low-level shitkickers who have to learn to care gave her a new lens on the rest of her fellow players, who she feels were also playing at the absolute top of their game. She loved watching Aabria’s & Lou’s assertiveness in their strong, driven characters.

Aabria: In a normal campaign, Purvan Suul is the PC & the Calamity Crew are the NPCs you watch make terrible decisions. It’s not that “one bad wizard made a spicy choice and then everything got bad. No, an entire society bred people who reached too far, and here’s some of them. Even in their poor choices they were people and had moments and hesitations, but they never had that turn of faith or eye or thought at the right moment to stop it.”

Aabria treasured the chance to hook into both the past and future with Niirdal-Poc. She tried to focus on the group that could “hunker down” during the Calamity and extrapolate how they survived. She liked the freedom & less-preciousness of only having 16 hours to build a story instead of the 500-hour-stories of the main campaign.

Laura: what kind of apocalypse would everyone thrive in? Zombie, Children of Men... Aabria posits that a baby-less world wouldn’t be so bad. “Have you met a baby?” Laura, sadly: “I’ve met a baby!” Aabria: “The platonic ideal of a baby is a dog, but worse.” Ashley doesn’t want to live in an apocalyptic world where there’s a chance of turning into something else.

We discover part of the reason Aabria is so tall tonight is that she’s also wearing platform heels. Ha!

Tower of Inquiry! 41: what kind of plant would your characters be? Laerryn: “I have a pretty fiercely anti-plant agenda,” but settles on one of those futuristic LED plants. Laudna: Venus flytrap/pitcher plant. Imogen: a violet, little and purple and dies easily if treated wrong. Ashley: pilea peperomioides, Fearne: oleander, belladonna, nightshade. Patia: orchid. Ashley & Marisha discuss the difficulty of caring for orchids, and Marisha tells a story of her Kentucky dad rubbing mayo on her dying orchid’s leaves to save it. Ha!

Marisha pulls another block. 37: character’s go-to karaoke song. Laerryn: Fiona Apple’s “Criminal.” Fearne: “Kiss From a Rose.” Imogen: Eurythmics’s “Sweet Dreams.” Laudna: Fleetwood Mac’s “Sorcerer,” which she takes back immediately for “Break the Chain.” Aabria suggests “Bring Me to Life,” heh. Ashley complains that “evergreen” is the new “synergy.” Laura challenges us all to listen for it in our Zoom meetings.

The Deep Dive! Dani can’t pass out the tankards because Omar is fully asleep on her feet. It’s so stinking cute.

The skyship was cool for Imogen. “Gee willikers. I mean, it sure was pretty and the sky was nice, and she was not scared once it took off ‘cause then it was a smooth ride.”

Laerryn’s final moments? There was no better way for her arc to resolve than to avert the worst possible scenario and die in the arms of her husband and help Cerrit get out. That was the last possible victory. The entire dynamic between Loquatius (personal note, that name was very funny to listen to for four episodes) and Laerryn was entirely Sam’s idea. He’s been wanting to play a divorced character for years. Aabria was super nervous going into that dynamic in the character jam session since she didn’t know everyone else that well. Marisha liked that they were both right and both wrong & still had chemistry.

Marisha didn’t think she was really really dead the first time Patia died, but then “three hours in, I was like, ‘maybe I am really dead,’“ but then she wasn’t! She was proud to dedicate her final moments to the legacy of Avalir, Cerrit, and his daughter Maya. It was a good group moment of making sure one person survived.

Nana Mori Calloway, Fearne’s grandmother, was heavily inspired by Ashley’s mom, who’s very innocently mischievous. Ashley thought that was a good kernel for a fey-type character. Her mom is an amazing cook: prime rib, custards, cakes, pancakes, fried catfish, cookies--she tried to bring this in with Nana Mori’s pies and cooking. She’s the kind of grandma who paints masterpieces and doesn’t go to bed until 3:00AM.

Imogen feels okay about chasing Armand instead of learning about her powers; too much at once is already overwhelming. Laura doesn’t want to dive too deeply just yet.

Patia and Laerryn always had the dream of outshining the other cities, so the idea of interplanar travel was going to change the world to improve the city. Yes, she’d do it again. It was worth it. “There were gonna be Betrayers. It could have been worse! [The Primordials] seemed bad, and I stopped them, so you’re welcome, and if I could go back and do it again, I’d be even better at it. Laerryn’s learned nothing from this experience.”

Laudna does know that her patron is the same person who put her on the tree. She thinks of her almost like a ghost who can’t hurt her or do anything, just gives her her powers. Laudna’s been like this for thirty years and has grown flippant about it over the years. Aabria: “Is there a part of Laudna who likes what happened to her because it made her special?” Marisha, gasping: “Ooh, I don’t know! Maybe Laudna hasn’t even processed that yet. What the fuck, Aabria?” Laudna has accepted herself and gets a kick out of being weird.

Fearne’s chaos comes from Ashley’s mom & a love of practical jokes. She enjoys being able to do the first thing in her mind like Grog & Jester.

Omar joins us on the couch, then as the centerpiece to an endtable. What a cute pup.

Everyone loved Imogen’s reveal of the Fly spell. It was a very narrative introduction to a new spell.

In re: blighting the tree: nothing is more terrible than realizing as a player that This is Your Red Button that you have to smash to serve the story. “I’d kill it again.”

Laudna’s traveled on skyships before; that was fine. Marisha got emotional as a child learning about the loss of the Library of Alexandria, and that was her inspiration for preserving all her knowledge in the orb & sending it to Maya. “I sent the Library of Alexandria to a fourteen-year-old. It’s in your hands now. Hope this is fine.” Matt refuses to tell her what happened to it in the world.

Ashley picked the Wildfire class for Fearne because it made sense for the character, though she thinks Keyleth’s Circle of the Moon class is the best.

Tower of Inquiry, Redux: 21: Laerynn’s favorite part of Avalir is the idea of constantly reaching further. Aabria loves that they live above weather, which is hilarious. Marisha likes that Exandria is endless, and she loves how it’s grown with other DMs. It’s only more as time goes on. She’s been playing in Exandria for ten years and loves that she’s not tired of it. Laura loves that anything is possible in this world. Imogen’s favorite thing in the world: “Laudna.” Oh, my heart. Ashley loves Jrusar with the spires and bridges and Windowed Wall. Fearne is loving getting away from her glen. Marisha reveals the AC went out in the studio today. As someone who lost her own AC earlier this summer, God bless.

Laura picks 47: character cures for insomnia. Aabria: “Laerryn and Loquatius fuck but as our friends, just going through the Ring of Brass. They bang weird.” Marisha, cackling, fully out of the chair: “Oh my God! Changeling roleplay!” Imogen dives into other people’s dreams. Fearne messes up other people’s sleep out of curiosity. Laudna plays with dolls. Ashley LOVES Pâté. Pâté de Rolo the name came from a play on Percy de Rolo, but funnier because “dead” and “liver.” Sashimi & Escargot also came out of just the idea of naming something a very fancy word for a dead thing. There’s a very funny outro here where they don’t realize the cameras are still going and the producer offscreen has to cut them off for the break. Ha!

Cup of Questions: Beer pong with questions. It’s Laura’s first time ever playing, and Marisha laughs that this should be interesting since she’s super competitive.

Laura doesn’t remember her worst hair day ever, but she laments her Rachel hair cut in high school, which featured in her senior photo along with a red, white, and blue bustier. Ashley sometimes gets lost in Laura’s hair under the table spotlights, hahaha.

Laura is the kind of person to look at other people’s medicine cabinets. She would read people’s minds all the time if she could.

If Grey Griffin (the voice of Delilah in LoVM) was Laudna’s patron instead of Delilah, Marisha hopes she’d be granted with her amazing singing ability.

Ashley & Aabria are really destroying Laura & Marisha in this, haha. Omar & Pâté would have a lovely date in Malibu, with Pâté riding Omar’s back like a GoPro. They have to be home by 10pm because that’s coyote time.

Laura lucid dreams a lot.

Laura finally sinks one. If Chetney hadn’t overslept, “Fearne would have had a very good time with Chetney.”

Aabria would love to take her squad to the Feywild to party. If she could have one selfish machine, it would make her hair shiny like Laura’s.

If Laerynn & Patia were Thelma & Louiseing around the world, they’d go to Dubai, Singapore, Japan. A luxury tour. Patia would have them go visit Ashley in her stolen rainforest (see below).

Laura had no concept for Patia and loved what Marisha did with her. Her initial art concept (unnamed) had strawberry-blonde curls and lots of floating jewelry in her hair.

Brennan told the group he was going to kill them, and Aabria said he had to at least try. “One of my feats was Tough, and that gives you double your level in HP, so that was an extra 28 HP on top. And then I took Eldritch Initiate to grab Armor of Shadows, which gives you at-will Mage Armor. Mage Armor is an Abjuration spell, which means I can spam cast it without spending a spell slot to refill my Arcane Ward, so that was an extra 33 HP on top of that. Laerryn had effectively 175 HP. I built a brick shithouse wizard. Caleb, get good. Ahh!”

If Ashley could steal anything in the world, she’d pick a house by Frank Lloyd Wright or Rick Joy or Peter Zumthor, or a JMW painting. And then a rainforest to protect it.

Laudna is genuinely aware that she’s on borrowed time, because the worst thing has already happened to her. She’s living each day to its fullest.

Laerryn and Loquatius had a huge wedding & Quay invited everyone he’d ever met. It rained during their wedding and she had them leave it, since it never rains on Avalir.

Fearne’s “rats of the Feywild” was just Ashley trying to run contrary to her own opinions on fairies.

Laura gives an off-the-cuff eulogy for Bertrand as Vex. “Bertrand...what can one say about Bertrand. He was...Percy?”

Ashley wins beer pong for her team by cleanly sinking the last shot. GGs all around.

Marisha’s first crush was Josh Hartnett.

Ashley would cast Chris Pratt to voice Mister.

And on that note, Laura outros us out by sweeping up sadly the remnants of the 4th of July Party. A new song plays over the outro; is this a new theme song? It’s catchy!

That’s it! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #4 sided dive #4 sided dive spoilers #talks machina #long post for ts #exu calamity

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workofheart · 4 years ago

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jean kirstein relationship hcs

sorry for the inactivity lately y’all school is whooping my ass </3 in the mean time, have some modern jean relationship hcs bc i miss him

protective boyfriend #1 ♡ ♡ ♡ will not hesitate to yell at ppl if they’re mean or rude to you, he doesn’t want anyone coming near you like that. thinks his partner deserves the absolute best and will not tolerate people disrespecting you or even thinking of disrespecting you. he will defend you til the day he dies, even if it embarrasses you

asks the waiter for a new dinner when yours is undercooked and you’re too nervous to say something. if you’re a person w social anxiety or just don’t feel like doing something, he would do things for you no problem, whether its fetching you something, paying for you, ordering for you, etc. he’s not gonna tease you or make fun of you, he’s just happy to help

he’s a sappy drunk :’) when he’s hammered, he gets all clingy and drags you onto the couch to cuddle w you/hangs off of you while you walk home and tells you all about how he feels about you and how he wants to spend his life with you and have dogs and a cute home forever. has the cutest little giggle while literally pouring out his feelings for you

and if you bring it up in the morning, you KNOW he’s gonna get so shy and red like “oh... i said that? haha...”

his biggest dream is just domesticity with you - like i mentioned, living somewhere beautiful in a nice house with a beautiful family or just you and him :( he really cherishes you and just dreams about spending his life with you. his “happy place” is very likely just the two of you sitting in a field by a river on a sunny day, maybe with some sandwiches and sparkling water, with all the time in the world watching ducks swim by

i imagine that you were previously friends before starting to date, but he’d been seriously pining for you since the beginning, just never wanted to make you uncomfortable and was too scared to say anything. he’d go home after hanging out w you and just sigh (probably yell into his pillow in frustration too but shh) bc he just felt like if it wasn’t you, then who else?

meanwhile you’re being so obvious that you like him back but he keeps reasoning that you’re just being nice and wouldn’t actually want him like that

was ready to settle for friendship and just lock away his feelings when you just pulled him aside and confessed directly. he was a strangely confused yet happy daze for the following weeks

is a sucker for romance movies - likes imagining him and you in those scenarios, romanticizes your own relationship shamelessly. i feel like he’d enjoy 500 days of summer and... wait for it... clueless. I KNOW. it’s his guilty pleasure. also consider: he bawled his eyes out at the end of la la land.

loves beach dates! loves the beach, loves the boardwalk, loves everything about that summer atmosphere. waits in line to get you funnel cake and then you sit and eat, people watching and making up stories for everyone that passes by and just laughing while you enjoy the fresh summer air. in the arcades, totally the type to win himself a cute plushie but when ur like “omg!! is that for me?” he goes oh yeah haha.. but don’t think he doesn’t notice when you’ve been eyeing up a specific toy at the ring toss stand. he will not hesitate to play game after game until he gets it for you.

lover of back hugs. he is so generous, literally towers over you no matter ur height, just wraps his arms around u and holds u <3 it makes you feel so safe and loved and that’s all he wants for you

carries you wherever possible. up the stairs, down the stairs, from the kitchen to the living room and back. he always boasts about how easy it is to pick you up bc he’s strong and it boosts his confidence lol

constantly tells you how pretty he thinks you are. jean always thinks you look beautiful so he always compliments your outfits and your hair and your makeup, leans into ur ear to whisper it to u and make u giggle even when it’s just the two of you at home

on that note: always gets caught staring at you and he blushes so easily when you call him out for it. can’t stop looking at you over the top of his newspaper when you’re having breakfast in the morning, can’t stop looking at you while you’re making dinner for him, can’t stop looking at you while you work or study

for valentines/your birthday/holidays he always makes you cute handmade cards out of colored construction paper. he finds a new design every single time and spends so long on it, and finishes by writing out how he feels on the inside. can u just imagine him sitting at his desk, tongue poking out of his mouth with a glue stick in hand as he lays down different colored paper hearts :(

teases you nonstop. always poking fun at you, probably make jokes about how “irresistible” he is and how you can’t keep away lol, thinks you look adorable when you’re flustered

u give him haircuts when it’s getting long, he sits on a stool in ur bathroom and u just give him a trim every once in a while. trusts you not to fuck it up (not that you ever would) and it always comes out so nice and it makes his heart swell just to have you there to do such intimate, sort of domestic things for him.

pet names! i know so many people have talked about this but it’s just so true. has tried everything in the book to see what you like, watches carefully to see how you respond so he knows, occasionally calls you something silly like “pookie” just to get a reaction out of you

needs verbal communication. jean always has so much on his plate and has a lot of insecurities, so he really needs that reassurance that you need him and love him every day until he can accept it for himself

favorite position to sleep in is him on his back with your head on that area between his neck and shoulder, holds you really close during the night. loves loves loves when you nestle into him and cling to him for warmth when you’re asleep. has trouble sleeping if you aren’t there

dotes on you so much seriously he is so sweet and caring, just so whipped for you. he is literally so weak and always gives into you just bc it makes you happy. you want to drive out for mcdonald’s at two in the morning for an apple pie and a shake? he’s getting his keys rn

nsfw below the cut (18+)

i think mostly everyone is in agreement that jean is a total pleasure dom - he spends all night getting you to cum again and again, always asking if you can give him one more

as mentioned earlier, teases. avoids giving you what you want at first, makes you use your words, and when when you do get it, you’re getting it. aka, overstim galore. he’s not stopping until you’re spent

so much dirty talk, asks so many questions to get you to talk. “louder for me, princess” type of guy. wants to reduce you to babbling with how good he makes you feel - the sounds you make get him so incredibly hard

he is also vocal bc he knows you like it. groans his name into your ear just to feel you clench, then laughs.

never forgets to mark you up, leaves hickeys all over your neck and chest and thighs. loves to look at them later on when you’re changing, and especially loves your reaction to seeing them for yourself

size kink!! this man is almost 6’3 so chances are he’s gonna be bigger than you regardless. likes being close to you, likes being in positions where he can see you, probably has an arm slung around your waist or back whenever the position allows for it so he can hold you close

pins your arms down, holds your hips to the bed so you just have to sink into the mattress and take it

every time he aims to fuck your brains out and make sure the only thing you’re thinking about is him and how good he makes you feel

his fingers are fucking magical, dear lord, he gets you so worked up and knows just how to touch you to make you squirm, loves seeing you go hazy and unravel on his fingers. his fingers are so long and gentle and stretch you out so nice + he knows exactly what to do, where to touch you, when to change his motions to get you there in minutes

needs to be kissing you when he makes you cum. swallows your moans, adores how you struggle to kiss him back with the pleasure he’s giving you

mirror sex is top tier for him, probably has one of those siding door closets w mirrors next to his bed so he can make you look at yourself and watch just what he’s doing to you

eye contact, will 100% grab your jaw to make you look at him, loves seeing you stare up at him through glassy eyes

literal KING of aftercare. takes such good care of you, gets you anything and everything you need, cleans up so well, gives you the world and more

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein fluff #jean kirstein fanfic #jean x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein hcs #jean kirstein headcanons #aot hcs #aot headcanons #aot x reader #aot fluff #jean kirstein smut

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bxcketbarnes · 4 years ago

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Making Amends

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2900+

Author’s Note: The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (kinda) spoilers if you haven’t watched it. Uh, someone send help because I’m falling in love. I hope whoever reads this enjoys it as much as I did writing it. Much love to you all! xoxo

"Who's Y/N?" Dr. Raynor asks Bucky and his head snaps up, narrowing his eyes a bit. The therapist raises an eyebrow at his reaction to the question.

Bucky gets up from the couch before snatching the phone from her hands, not answering her question. He swallows thickly as he looks at the text you sent him, asking if the two of you could meet up.

He can feel his heartbeat quicken as Bucky hasn't seen you in almost eight years. The super-soldier licks his lips as he thinks about the last interaction he had with you, remembering his metal hand wrapped around your throat.

"She's someone I wronged years ago," he finally answers while continuing to stare at his phone.

"Well, you're working on making amends. Why don't you start with her," Dr. Raynor suggests and Bucky presses his lips together before slowly nodding his head.

The brunette sighs and texts you back, agreeing to meet up before showing his therapist the text. Bucky shoves his phone back into his pocket before standing up.

"I need to go. See you in a couple of weeks, Doc," he mumbles while walking out of the office.

Bucky runs his hands through his hair as he walks out of the building, thoughts of you filling his mind. He wonders why you want to meet now after eight years since the incident.

You happened to be strolling through the airport grounds when hell started to break loose. You were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your eyes widened when you noticed a quinjet in one of the hangers, never seeing one of the Avengers vehicles up close.

Your eyes looked around everywhere as you tried to see if you could spot any of the mighty heroes. Two figures ran towards you and you jumped when one of the airport towers started to fall in front of the wide-open hanger.

"This isn't good," you mumbled to yourself and took a couple of steps back.

Everything started to happen so fast that you didn't see Captain America and The Winter Soldier run towards you. You went to move out of the way when the long-haired man wrapped his metal hand around your throat.

A gasp leaves your lips as you breathed in as much air as you could, your hand gripping his metal wrist. "Bucky, let her go," Steve told him and you could feel his grip on you tighten.

"I-I'm sorry," you squeaked out as tears filled your eyes, glancing towards Steve. "I-I just wanted to see the quinjet up close. I won't tell anyone I swear."

Your eyes met the Winter Soldier's cold blue ones before the super-soldier dropped you from his grasp. You gasped and started to breathe heavily while scrambling to get off of the floor.

Bucky's phone ringing snaps him from the memory he's having and he fishes the device out of his pocket. His breath hitches in his throat at your name flashing across his screen.

"Hello?" He hesitantly answers and your giggle comes through the speaker.

"Hi, Bucky," you greet him and Bucky swallows the lump in his throat as he sits down on the bench. "I'm sorry for calling all of a sudden, but I've been thinking about you."

He furrows his brows, not expecting such a warm welcome from you as Bucky licks his lips again. "You have?" Bucks asks.

"Yeah! The reason I asked to meet up is that I happen to be in New York for the first time in years," you explain to him and Bucky nods his head. "I know the first time we met wasn't exactly a fun one, but I figured we could put that behind us."

"Absolutely," Bucky sighs in relief, wanting to apologize to you for almost killing you that day in the hanger. "I've also been thinking about that a lot."

"Oh! That's great. Do you want to meet up for coffee or something?" You ask him and Bucky agrees. "Great! Uh, there's a quiet Café on the main drag that's right near the bookstore-"

"Oh, yeah, I know the one that you're talking about," Bucky mumbles and you mutter to yourself incoherently, a smile coming to the super-soldiers lips. "I'll see you in an hour?"

A grin settles on your lips as you look out the window of your hotel room, nodding your head before verbally agreeing with the plan. You bid Bucky goodbye and hang up the phone, sliding the device into your back pocket.

You've thanked Steve a few times already for providing you with Bucky's number. Captain America told you all about his past to try and make up for how he reacted in the airport hanger years ago.

You didn't blame him for his actions as you understand the reason why he did what he did. You just hope that the two of you can put your past behind you and be friends. "Here goes nothing…" you trail off before leaving your hotel room.

Bucky sits in one of the booths, fiddling with the gloves on his hands as he waits for you to arrive. He chews on his bottom lip when the bell attached to the cafe's front door chimes, making the super-soldier turn his head towards it.

His blue eyes soften at the sight of you. You're looking around the Cafe frantically before your eyes meet his. A smile comes to your lips as you give him a small wave and start walking towards him.

"Hey, Bucky," you greet and the brunette stands up from his seat. "You look great. The haircut suits you well."

Bucky awkwardly smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "Thank you," he whispers as his heartbeat quickens. "You look great as well. It's been… a while for sure."

A chuckle leaves your lips as you nod your head in response, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Do you want a coffee?" You ask him and Bucky shakes his head, politely declining your offer. "Okay. I'll be right back, hold on."

He watches you from the booth as you order your coffee. Bucky lets out a huff of breath, trying to relax his nerves before you come back over here. Am I really ready for this?

"So, what have you been up to?" You ask the brunette as you sit across from him. You look into his eyes while sipping the scalding hot coffee, awaiting his answer.

"Uhm, not much really. I-I go to therapy every few weeks. It was one of the requirements for my pardon," he explains and you nod your head in response. Bucky clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck, feeling the leather gloves tug on the small hairs. "I've been trying to make amends with people who I've wronged."

You hum with an eyebrow raise, swallowing the liquid before speaking. "Oh, that's good. Is it working? Like, how are you feeling about that?" You question him and Bucky swallows thickly.

I still have nightmares every night. He thinks to himself as he stays quiet, not really knowing how to answer the question. "Uh-"

"I hope I'm not prying too much," you cut him off with wide eyes, just now realizing your intrusiveness. "I just… Steve's told me quite a bit about you and I know that you almost killed me when we first met, but I find you intriguing, Bucky."

Bucky smiles softly and shakes his head, not noticing any sign of fear in your eyes. "You're intriguing," he states and you can feel your cheeks heat up at his words. "I had my hand wrapped around your throat and here you are, trying to be friends with me. It's incredible really. Something I've never seen."

You shrug your shoulders while fiddling with your fingers, a shy smile on your lips. "I believe in everyone having second chances," you mumble to him and Bucky nods his head.

"Well, I'm really glad you're providing me with a second chance," he softly whispers as his heart flutters in his chest.

You run down the streets of lower Manhattan, quickly making your way towards the building the GRC are held in. You heard about the hostage threat on the news and for some stupid reason, you wanted to be close to the action.

Once you make it to the front of the building and stand behind the police barricade they have set up for the public. Your eyes see Bucky's figure walking around on the other side and your eyes widen.

"Bucky!" You call out, causing some heads to snap your way. A blush covers your cheeks while mumbling an apology.

The super-soldier walks over to you and looks around him cautiously. "Y/N, what are you doing?! You shouldn't be here!" He quietly scolds and you look up at him through your lashes, heavy breaths leaving your lips.

"You know me… I like an adventure. You remember the airport incident," you remind him, and Bucky's jaw clenches.

"Unfortunately, I do, yeah," he comments and grabs a hold of your hand before leading you off somewhere else. "Listen, Karli and her team are here and she's using people against us. I don't want you getting hurt."

Your eyes trail down his chest, noticing the metal all he's currently sporting. "You changed it," you whisper and reach your hand out, gliding your fingertips along the cool surface.

Bucky swallows thickly as his eyes move from your face to your hand on his arm. "Y/N," he softly mumbles and your eyes move to his blue ones. "Please do me a favor and get out of here. Please."

"Okay," you tell him while nodding your head, causing the super-soldier to let out a sigh of relief. "Be careful."

Bucky chuckles and mumbles incoherently as you lean on your toes, kissing the corner of his lips. The laughter dies on his lips as a blush covers his cheeks, his hand moving to grip your forearm gently. You pull away from him and smile up at him before making your way back towards your apartment.

You begin to feel uneasy during your walk home, looking over your shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one's following you. A small scream leaves your lips as you find someone wearing a mask in front of you, blocking your path. You take a couple of steps back and swallow the lump in your throat as your back collides with someone.

You didn't have time to say anything before getting knocked out by one of the men, losing consciousness instantly. A member of the Flag Smashers easily picks up your body before bringing you to their leader, Karli.

When your eyes flutter open, you see a shorter redhead standing in front of you with a phone pressed to her ear. "Listen here, Bucky. I don't want to hurt you guys, but you're giving me no choice," she starts and you begin to panic slightly as you feel your wrists bound together behind your back. "So, I'm gonna make a deal with you. You and Sam pack it up and leave… or I hurt your precious Y/N."

Bucky's breath hitches in his throat at the sound of your name, his eyes dancing around the area he's standing in. "I swear to God if yo-"

"You've got one hour to make a decision," she cuts him off before hanging up. You look up at the girl as you breathe heavily, chest heaving rapidly. Karli walks towards you before crouching slightly. "Let's hope Bucky cares enough about you to listen."

"Sam, they've got Y/N," the super-soldier informs him through comms, his heart pounding in his chest as Sharon runs up to him. "We need to find her before Karli does anything to her."

"I know where they are," the blonde mentions to Bucky, and his blue eyes snap towards her. "C'mon, I'll show you the entrance."

Sam finally joins the two as they stealth their way through the building, avoiding any member of the Flag Smashers as best as possible. "She'll be okay," Sam reassures Bucky who clenches his jaw in response, hoping that he's right.

A pained yelp leaves your lips as one of the members punches you across the face. You lean your head back, growing tired of the questions Karli's asking. "Fuck you," you growl and spit some blood onto the floor beside you. "You think you're helping but you're making it worse."

Karli's nostrils flare up before nodding her head once more. The same man who's been beating you the past thirty minutes throws another punch at you, causing the chair you're sitting in to fall back against the concrete.

"You should think before you speak," she snarls before walking away from you. "C'mon, leave her here. We've got shit to do."

You pant heavily as you lay helplessly on the ground, the chair crushing your hands beneath you. "This is what happens when you adventure off, Y/N," you say to yourself while staring up at the ceiling.

Your ears perk up at the sounds of multiple footsteps, your heartbeat quickening as you think they've come back to finish you off instead. "Y/N?" Bucky calls out and a weight lifts off your shoulders while a sigh of relief leaves your lips.

"Bucky," you cry out and attempt to move.

The super-soldier kneels beside you before lifting your chair. "Hey, you okay?" He asks softly and you nod your head.

"As okay as I can be," you whisper with a pained smile. Sam undoes your restraints as Bucky places his right hand against your cheek, stroking your bruised skin gently.

"I'm sorry," you both say simultaneously, earning a chuckle from the brunette in front of you.

Bucky helps you stand up, his metal hand resting on your waist while the other grabs a hold of your hand. "I'm gonna give you my address and the key to my apartment," he tells you and you nod your head, listening carefully. "Go there and stay inside until I get back, okay?"

"Y-Yeah," you whisper and grab the key from his fingers, gripping onto it tightly. You swallow thickly as the pain begins to take over. A hiss leaves your lips and Bucky looks down at you with a worried expression. "You happen to have a first aid kit at your place?"

"Under the bathroom sink," he informs you, and you nod before heading towards the exit.

Bucky calls out to you and you glance over your shoulder to look back at him. You watch him as he quickly walks over to you before capturing your lips with his. A short gasp leaves your lips while wrapping an arm around his neck, threading your fingers through his hair. He pulls away after a few moments, his heavy breaths fanning your lips and you let out a soft chuckle.

“Come back alive and there’s more where that came from,” you whisper to him and Bucky lets out a laugh before shaking his head.

“But I’m one who kissed you,” he reminds you and you shush him, giggling.

“Well, if you want more, come back alive, mmkay?”

Bucky licks his lips before nodding his head in response, pressing a soft kiss to your lips once more. “I promise, now go,” he demands. You bite your lip and nod your head, continuing to walk towards the exit.

You sit on the kitchen island counter, swinging your feet as your eyes are glued to the television screen. It’s been a few hours since you arrived at Bucky’s apartment, your eyes widening at the very little furniture he has in the place. A sigh of relief leaves your lips as Sam comes on screen, the newscast recording the speech he’s currently giving.

You can hear the doorknob jiggle and your eyes snap towards the front door, watching Bucky walk through it. “Buck,” you whisper out with a grin on your lips, his blue eyes glancing towards you.

The super-soldier waltz’s over to you before wrapping his arms around your shoulders, bringing you into his chest. “I’m glad you’re alright,” he whispers and you nuzzle your face into his neck, inhaling his scent.

“I could say the same about you,” you tell him while dragging your fingers through his hair.

Bucky pulls away from you and drags his hands down your sides, kissing your forehead softly. “You get everything bandaged up?” He asks you and you nod your head, grinning like a fool.

“Yeah, nothing needed to get bandaged, but I’ll have some killer bruises,” you laugh and Bucky frowns, his eyes casting down to your torso. “I’ll be fine, Bucky.”

"I just worry," he whispers and your heart flutters in your chest. You bring your hand to his face, stroking his cheekbone gently as the brunette leans into your touch.

You lick your lips as you reach into your back pocket before pulling his little booklet out. "I, uh, found this lying open when I got here," you inform the super-soldier and his blue eyes look down at the small notebook. "I crossed my name out for you."

Bucky gently takes the book from your hand and shoves it into his jacket pocket before lacing your fingers with his. "Thank you… for reaching out to me that day."

You grin, leaning forward to kiss his lips gently and Bucky hums into the kiss. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Taglist: @jessalyn-jpeg @queen-of-mischief @bumblebet-20

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