#I Will Not Be That Person Again. i'm retired from my hatred. i live a peaceful life now.

[madefate]

remember when they rebuilt a/ltea & killed off allura before she could see it -

[skele-bunny]

Could you explain your timeline fuckery with Dewdrop? I always get so curious when you mention it

For sure! Also, ik I've said this before but I don't mind Omega & Ifrit, I'm always happy to write them as long as it's not with Dew! Don't take this post as a "I won't ever write them >:(!!" This is just my personal descriptions on their relationships

CW - Medium descriptions of past abuse and SA, cannibalism, death (#Memories warning tag!)

So, my version of Dewdrop is he's much older than realized. He was part of the original pack summoned for Terzo with Alpha, Terra, Aër, and Omega. But he was a runt. The first ever runt in the abbey, as a matter of fact. The very first disappointment.

They were struggling to find a potential replacement, but in the meantime let him play. He was good at what he did, he just wasn't... What they wanted. He'd be retired on and off and on and off again and again. He'd be replaced by Delta, step in for a little, then replaced by Mist. He was always around for their backup.

But nothing was ever right with the ghouls they summoned for Terzo. Never. So many suddenly joining them forcefully removed and retired. It was exhausting. They gave it one last go.

Ifrit, Aether, Mountain, and Zephyr. They also decided to final let Dew take over as they couldn't spare much anymore—too many summons in such short time resulted in a higher chance of an abomination getting through. They were the final hope. And they succeeded, very, very fucking well even as they were transfered over to Copia.

Now, specifically Dew's story.

He loved his pack more than anything in the world. They loved him. Just sometimes... They were rough. They were cruel. One moment he was the light of their lives, praising how beautiful he was, how lucky they were to call Dew theirs.

The next, hands around his gills and screaming nothing but hatred. How he was the cause of their failures, why they never succeeded properly, that he was a momentum of bad luck.

Omega was a main culprit of that. He was so easy to switch on Dew and caused him the worst paranoia. Was he going to scream? Hit? Or was he going to sing to him like he used to? Kiss him and make dinner for just them? Dewdrop never knew.

When Omega was with Terzo, it eased a lot of Dewdrop's turmoil. Except for when Omega would come back to the den sexually frustrated. See, Omega wanted to do a lot of things with Terzo, but the human body wouldn't be able to handle that. But a certain water ghoul who could barely push at Omega's chest was perfect for that frustration. He'd go silent, and just start to accept it.

When Delta took over, it got so much better. Pebble, Mist... They were everything to him. Made him feel not so small anymore. Made him feel safe, made him feel like everything would be okay. He started healing some despite still being dragged away from his original mate from time to time.

Then Ifrit came along.

He was sweet, the total opposite of what Omega was. But they started hanging out, started whispering. His attitude changed. He changed. The moment Dewdrop let Ifrit bond him, he was truly shown how much he changed.

All of that healing he had started to do was gone in an instant. He found comfort in knowing Ifrit wouldn't act out around the others, wouldn't raise his voice or do what he wished right then and there. He'd wait. He hated that Dew would purposely curl up against Aether and Mountain, especially Zephyr.

Ifrit honest to Lucifer loved Zephyr, never raised a hand or voice. They were mates through and through. Dew was just... Something to chew anger out on, he'd come to realize.

There's be times Ifrit would pick Dew up away from the others to seclude them so he could chew, leaving them confused but under the impression that they were just doing what they did.

It was after they were all forced retired, a week before the unknown event Copia would take over that Dewdrop confided in both Aether and Mountain about what was going on after Ifrit had gotten a bit careless and bruises were around his neck. He begged, pleaded for them not to do anything, not to say anything. As much as they hated it, they agreed. But Dewdrop was never alone after that, always having one of them as his little shadow or keeping him tucked close.

He'd be forced to transition, again, just a week after news of a Cardinal taking over and Papa Terzo retired. It was agonizing, pain, being killed twice and revived into something his body rejected. The moment he recovered, he was handed a task directly from Sister and Nihil.

Some of Terzo's previous ghouls were proving issues of... "Things needed to be done." They needed to be taken care of. If Dew could do that, then he'd prove once and for all he was worth something. Worth all that effort. That he wasn't just some runt. He took it.

Terra, Aër, Omega, and Ifrit.

One by one he killed them, bloody, loud, and unforgiving.

It was with Omega something inside of him finally snapped. The very last one. The original that started every ache and pain he experienced. His fear of touch and trust. When he had Omega by just a thread of life, he kissed him while caving his chest in. Holding his heart and devouring it. He blacked out and only came back to, cuddling the corpse and a majority of his organs completely gone.

No one but Dewdrop and Special know he ate Omega. He would've been killed on the spot if found out.

The ghouls of the clergy only think he killed someone of his old pack, but they're unsure of who and the true count—let alone if it's accurate because on paper, it says they all went back to the pit. Zephyr likes to think it's true and that the rumor of death is false. Just something to gossip about. Certainly didn't help the rumors that Dewdrop was vile enough to kill his own.

Aether and Mountain know the truth, but like before, they're lips are sealed. They don't speak about it, don't even think about it unless Dewdrop needs comfort from nightmares.

He heals, in the end, but his paranoia will win sometimes. Sometimes accidentally catching glimpses of Omega in the common room when it's really just Aether; Seeing Aër standing over his bed when it's just Rain coming to cuddle; Ifrit mimicked with Swiss and Mountain; Terra replicated by the Ghoulettes when they'd purr to announce themselves behind him.

[ninbayphua]

八三夭 《盗墓笔记》 官方主题曲 《所信非神》 That In Which I Believe In Is Not God - ENG SUBS

So this is the first time I've actually properly translated and subtitled a song 😂 I tried to keep to the original wording as much as I could but there are few places where it's kinda vague or where the wording is just too awkward so I went with meaning or my own interpretation of the lyrics instead. 👀

List of Interpretations

1. 与宿命论个主臣 in a word for word translation would be "debating with Fate who is the master and who is the servant" which basically means they're fighting over superiority.

2. 当自己不死之身 is a really interesting one because 当 has 2 different meanings depending on which intonation is being used and this isn't always clear in songs cuz intonations get kinda murky in singing. Anyways, 'dāng' means to pretend whereas 'dàng' means to pawn. Since I interpreted this song as both from Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV I decided to include both potential interpretation in my subtitling. So it can either mean "pawning my immortality" in Xiao Ge's POV or "pretending I have an immortal body" in Wu Xie's case.

Song Overview (Wu Xie's & Xiao Ge's POV):

Ok I read the song as being from BOTH Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV instead of just one but that's my personal interpretation @thosch3i covered most of Wu Xie's POV and my own interpretation of the lyrics are pretty similar so I'll elaborate from there. This is how the song goes for me:

I give you a look with lost innocence of days past and gone that's tucked away in forgetfulness. (This is without question Wu Xie speaking because of the play on words - Tian Zhen)

Let the sound of raindrops gloss over the unsolved questions, let the sharpest blade be sealed away for safekeeping in this instant when life is at its most peaceful (OK, this could be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge speaking to the other because both of them have a lot of unsolved questions: Wu Xie still doesn't know what happened to his San Shu and Xiao Ge is still looking for answers to his past. Both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie have been referred to as the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. In Wu Xie's case, it's when he lost his innocence and became 邪帝 in the Sha Hai era. Xiao Ge was shaped to be a weapon ever since he was a baby stolen from his mother so it goes without saying he is the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. (There's a saying that Wu Xie ended up becoming like Xiao Ge and Li Cu becoming like Wu Xie during his Tian Zhen era which I think is a pretty accurate reading but a discussion for another time.) Basically, regardless of which of them that's speaking they're telling the other to let go of all the questions tormenting them and sealing away the past and the way they've been conditioned to become a weapon for the Nine Gates and just live peacefully in Rain Village from now on - I'm assuming this is post Sha Hai.

My death, my life, it's not up to the ghosts and gods to intervene (Honestly, this can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge depending. Both are very stubborn and don't believe in leaving things up to fate.)

a wait of ten years, I've long since stopped smiling, stopped crying, stopped feeling pain, challenging fate to see who is superior (This could be Xiao Ge but I read it as more Wu Xie because of Qin Hao's line in Sha Hai when Hei Ye said "I still feel a bit of pain from time to time" and Wu Xie just straight up said "I've stopped feeling pain a long time ago".)

Pawning my immortality / Pretending I have an immortal body, to leave for you a gateway of life, this life was not in vain. (This is probably my favourite line of the song because is so freakin beautifully written? The reason there's an either or translation for the line I've explained above so we're just gonna do meta here. OK so in Xiao Ge's POV he went to guard the Bronze Gates in Wu Xie's stead to protect him so he could live a happy life. Essentially he is exchanging his immortality for Wu Xie's life because it was initially Wu Xie's fate to guard the Bronze Gates and he'd probably die in the process. Xiao Ge's immortality for Wu Xie having a life of happiness and innocence is worth it to him. He is using his immortality in exchange for a way for Wu Xie to live by going behind those gates. Remember that line: 用我一生换你十年天真无邪 my life in exchange for ten years of your innocence? That's basically what I think they're referring to. The reversed applies. It's Xiao Ge's responsibility to keep the Wang clan in check. Since Xiao Ge sacrificed himself so Wu Xie could live the life he wanted, Wu Xie decided to do the same for Xiao Ge by getting rid of the Wangs completely so Xiao Ge could be free to live the life he wanted when he exited the gates. Wu Xie wasn't trained like Xiao Ge nor did he have an immortal body like the Zhangs or had their self healing and magical qilin blood but he will pretend that he has all of those and take on the Wangs , wiping them out to give Xiao Ge a way out of being used by the Nine Gates again when he exits the gates, giving him a chance to live the life he wants. Even if he knows he could potentially die doing this, it's still worth it to him. Remember that line after Xiao Ge's: 只愿尽我一世无邪换你百载浅笑无忧 emptying all of my entire life's innocence in exchange for a hundred years of your easy smiles and lack of worries? That's what I think the song is referring to.)

Not even for a day in my entire life have I ever believed in ghosts or gods, but I spent ten years believing in one person. Even if the world is too cold, there is still your lingering warmth in my heart, I'll still rush into the journey, no matter how unfathomable the wasteland or perilous the path, never questioning whether it's fortune or calamity. Honestly, in my entire life, I've never believed in gods, only believed in them. (This can be both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie because the only person Xiao Ge believes in is Wu Xie - and Pang Zi. Vice versa, the only person Wu Xie believes in is Xiao Ge - and Pang Zi. None of them believe in fate or ghosts or gods but they believe in each other and only each other. Wu Xie is Xiao Ge's only connection in the world - thus the lingering warmth in my hear bit - and I'm pretty sure Xiao Ge also holds a special spot in Wu Xie's heart during the Sha Hai era when he becomes a hardened man. We see that flash of Tian Zhen softness when he's talking to Li Cu about Xiao Ge and Pang Zi. He even admits at the time that he has an obsession: to pick up Xiao Ge when he exits the Bronze Gates and take him home. Also, PingXie is constantly rushing head first into danger for one another? Even Pang Zi made a comment on this in Ultimate Note after the sword gifting ceremony that when Xiao Ge lost his memories, Wu Xie accompanies him on his journey and helps him look for his lost memories; when Wu Xie is in danger or gets into trouble in his obsessive search for answers and his San Shu, Xiao Ge comes to his rescue. Even in Reunion, Xiao Ge says he'll follow Wu Xie on his journey to Thunder City in search of answers and his San Shu. Neither of them ever question whether it is fortune or calamity that will befall them on these journeys. They'll go through hell fire and high waters for each other regardless of consequences.)

Exchanging gazes, in it are new sprouts of innocence, all old hatred tossed and tucked away in forgetfulness. (Xiao Ge talking about Wu Xie - post Sha Hai, now that Xiao Ge is back and Wu Xie isn't emo anymore, we see a bit of his Tian Zhen coming back, Xiao Ge can probably see it too. The edges aren't gone but there are now some softness growing back. There are new sprouts of innocence in Wu Xie's eyes again.)

But there are still spirits to drink together, and extra cigarettes enough to share, if there's us and the rest of our lives, then it is the greatest of good dreams. That in which I believe in is not a god. Entrusting my life and soul to you with a smile on the wretched battlefield, even the gods of death themselves must submit under the sword, the world has too many uncertainties, only this is the sole surety. But even the sharpest blade is also mere flesh and blood, I wish to give him affection and to let him rest and recuperate. (This can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge referring to their retired life in Rain Village that having just us - the iron triangle - as well as the rest of our lives then it's the best dream come true they could wish for. Also, Wu Xie and Xiao Ge's only belief is in each other but neither sees the other as a god. Wu Xie is unarguably human and Wu Xie sees Xiao Ge as human instead of a weapon or a god so it works both ways. Both Wu Xie and Xiao Ge are considered to be the sharpest blades of the Nine Gates with a tendency to go against fate and death. In Xiao Ge's case even death must bow its head under his sword and abide by his rule whereas in Wu Xie's case he himself is the sword so to speak and that he has defied death so many times as well as planned the death of the Wangs that in a way, death is under his control and has to do this bidding. I think it's also referring to the saying 麒麟��笑，阎王绕道；天真一笑，麒麟开道 when the qilin - a.k.a Xiao Ge - smiles even the lord of the underworld will make a detour to avoid his path; a smile of innocence - when Tian Zhen a.k.a Wu Xie smiles - the qilin clears the way. Not sure if this was in the original books or if it's just a comment made by fans online or by NPSS during interviews but it's pretty legit interpretation in my opinion. PingXie is each other's only constant in a world of uncertainties and they see the other as a human, not a god or weapon/blade to be used for the Nine Gates. I think after Sha Hai when Xiao Ge exits the Bronze Gates both are so wounded and scarred that they want to do is to give the other affection and for them to rest and recuperate from what they've suffered in those 10 years and more.)

Even a lifetime as a god, there can also be a moment, a minute of being an ordinary human. (Wu Xie referring to Xiao Ge that even though he has lived as a god for his entire life, there are still brief moments where he too can be an ordinary human. Xiao Ge is just an ordinary human, just like Wu Xie and Pang Zi.)

Anyways, sorry about the long post but that's about it I think. I'll add on if I ever think about anything in the future. Hope this post was helpful 😂

[themousefromfantasyland]

The Tale of the Dead Princess and the Seven Knights

Or, russian Snow White and the seven Bogatyrs, legendary slavic warriors, similar to the knight-errant in Western tradition

This is a 1833 poem by russian poet Aleksandr Pushkin, inspired by the childhood tales told by his nurse. It's basically russian Snow White, been astonishly closer to the Disney film than the original Brothers Grimm's fairy tale

With his suite the Tsar departed. The Tsarina tender-hearted at the window sat alone, wishing he would hurry home.

All day every day she waited, gazing till her dedicated eyes grew weak from overstrain, gazing at the empty plain. Not a sign of her beloved!

Nothing but the snowflakes hurried, heaping drifts upon the lea. Earth was white as white could be. Nine long months she sat and waited, kept her vigil unabated.

Then from God on Christmas Eve, she a daughter did receive. Next day early in the morning, love and loyalty rewarding. Home again from travel far, came at last the father-Tsar.

One fond glance at him she darted, gasped for joy with thin lips parted. Then fell back upon her bed and by prayer-time was dead.

Long the Tsar sat lonely, brooding. But he, too, was only human.

Tears for one sad year he shed... And another woman wed.

She (if one be strictly truthful) was a born Tsarina. Youthful, slim, tall, fair to look upon. Clever, witty, and so on.

But she was in equal measure stubborn, haughty, wilful, jealous. In her dowry rich and vast was a little looking-glass.

It had this unique distinction: It could speak with perfect diction. Only with this glass would she in a pleasant humour be.

Many times a day she'd greet it and coquettishly entreat it:

"Tell me, pretty looking-glass, nothing but the truth, I ask: Who in all the world is fairest, and has beauty of the rarest?"

And the looking-glass replied:

"You, it cannot be denied. You in all the world are fairest and your beauty is the rarest."

The Tsarina laughed with glee, shrugged her shoulders merrily, puffed her cheeks and bat her eyelids, flicked her fingers coyly, slyly, pranced around with hand on hips, arrogance upon her lips.

All this time the Tsar's own daughter quietly, as Nature taught her, grew and grew, and came quite soon like a flower into bloom: Raven-browed, of fair complexion, breathing kindness and affection.

And the choice of fiance lighted on Prince Yelisei. Suit was made. The Tsar consented and her dowry was indented:

Seven towns with wealthy store. Mansion-houses, sevenscore. On the night before the wedding, for a bridal party dressing, the Tsarina, time to pass, chatted with her looking-glass:

"Who in all the world is fairest, and has beauty of the rarest?"

Then what did the glass reply?

"You are fair, I can't deny. But the Princess is the fairest. And her beauty is the rarest."

Up the proud Tsarina jumped. On the table how she thumped, angrily the mirror slapping, slipper heel in fury tapping!

"O you loathsome looking-glass, telling lies as bold as brass! By what right is she my rival?Such young folly I shall bridle. So she's grown up? Me to spite! Little wonder she's so white: With her bulging mother gazing. At that snow?What's so amazing! Now look here, explain to me. How can she the fairer be? Scour this realm of ours and seek well, nowhere shall you find my equal. Is not that the truth?" she cried.

Still the looking-glass replied:

"But the Princess is the fairest and her beauty is the rarest."

The Tsarina burst with spite, hurled the mirror out of sight, underneath the nearest cupboard, and when breath she had recovered, summoned Smudge, her chamber maid and to her instructions gave:

"Take the Princess to the forest. Bind her hand and foot and forehead to a tree! When wolves arrive let them eat the girl alive!"

Woman's wrath would daunt the devil! Protest was no use whatever.

Soon the Princess left with Smudge for the woods. So far they trudged that the Princess guessed the reason. Scared to death by such foul treason, loud she pleaded:

"Spare my life! Innocent of guilt am I! Do not kill me, I beseech you! And when I become Tsarina I shall give you rich reward."

Smudge, who really loved her ward, being loth to kill or bind her, let her go, remarking kindly:

"God be with you! Do not moan!"

And, this said, went back alone.

"Well?" demanded the Tsarina. "Where's that pretty little creature?"

"In the forest on her own," Smudge replied. "And there she'll stay. To a tree I firmly lashed her. When a hungry beast attacks her, she'll have little time to cry, and the quicker she shall die!"

Rumour spread and caused a panic: "What, the Tsar's own daughter vanished!"

Mournful was the Tsar that day, but the young Prince Yelisei offered God a fervent prayer and departed then and there, to seek out and homeward guide, his sweet-tempered, youthful bride.

Meanwhile his young bride kept walking through the forest until morning, vague as to her whereabouts.

Suddenly she spied a house. Out a dog ran growling, yapping, then sat down, his tail tap-tapping. At the gate there was no guard. All was quiet in the yard.

Close at heel the good dog bounded as the Princess slowly mounted stairs to gain the living floor, turned the ring upon the door.

Silently the door swung open and before her eyes unfolded a bright chamber: all around benches strewn with rugs she found, board of oak beneath the ikon and a stove with tiles to lie on.

To the Princess it was clear, kindly folk were dwelling here, who would not deny her shelter.

No one was at home, however. So she set to, cleaned the pans, made the whole house spick and span, lit a candle in the corner, fed the fire to be warmer, climbed onto the platform bed, there to lay her sleepy head.

Dinner time. The yard resounded, horses stamped and men dismounted. Thick-moustached and ruddy-skinned, seven lusty Knights walked in.

Said the Eldest: "How amazing! All so neat! The fire blazing! Somebody's been cleaning here, and is waiting somewhere near. Who is there? Come out of hiding! Be a friend in peace abiding! If you're someone old and hoar, be our uncle evermore! If you're young and love a scuffle.We'll embrace you as a brother. If a venerable dame, then shall 'mother' be your name. If a maiden fair, we'll call you our dear sister and adore you."

So the Princess rose, came down to the Seven Knights and bowed. Her good wishes emphasising, blushing and apologising that to their delightful home uninvited she had come.

Straight they saw her speech bore witness to the presence of a Princess.

So they cleared a corner seat, offered her a pie with meat, filled a glass with wine and served it on a tray, as she deserved it.

But the glass of heady wine she politely did decline, and the pie she broke with caution, savouring a tiny portion.

Pleading she was very tired, soon she gracefully retired and the Seven Knights conveyed her to the best and brightest chamber and, away as they did creep, she was falling fast asleep.

Days flew by? The Princess living all the time without misgiving, in the forest, never bored, with the Seven Knights abroad.

Darkness would the earth still cover when at dawn the seven brothers would ride out to try their luck with a long-bow, shooting duck.

She, as lady of the house, rose much later, moved about dusting, polishing and cooking, never once the Knights rebuking. They, too, never chided her. Days flew by like gossamer.

And in time they grew to love her. Thereupon all seven brothers, shortly after dawn one day, to her chamber made their way, and the Eldest Knight addressed her:

"As you know, you are our sister. But all seven of us here are in love with you, my dear, and we all desire your favours. But that must not be. God save us! Find some way to give us peace! Be a wife to one at least, to the rest remain a sister! But you shake your head. Is this to say our offer you refuse? Nothing from our stock you'll choose?"

"O my brave and bonny brothers, virtuous beyond all others!"

In reply the Princess'said, "God in heaven strike me dead if my answer be not honest: I've no choice. My hand is promised! You're all equal in my eyes, all so valiant and wise, and I love you all, dear brothers! But my heart is to another pledged for evermore. One day I shall wed Prince Yelisei!"

Hushed, the brothers kept their station, scratched their foreheads in frustration.

"As you wish! So now we know," said the Eldest with a bow.

"Pray, forgive us, and I promise you'll hear nothing further from us!"

"I'm not angry," she replied. "By my pledge I must abide."

Bowing low, the seven suitors left her room with passions muted. So in harmony again did they live and friendship reign.

The Tsarina was still livid, every time she saw in vivid memory the Princess fair.

Long the mirror, lying there, was the object of her hatred;

But at last her wrath abated. So one day it came to pass, that she took the looking-glass, up again and sat before it, smiled and, as before, implored it:

"Greetings, pretty looking-glass! Tell me all the truth, I ask: Who in all the world is fairest, and has beauty of the rarest?"

Said the mirror in reply:

"You are fair, I can't deny. But where Seven Knights go riding, in a green oak-grove residing, humbly lives a person who is more beautiful than you."

The Tsarina's wrath descended on her maid: "What folly tempted you to lie? You disobeyed!"

Smudge a full confession made...

Uttering a threat of torture, the Tsarina grimly swore to send the Princess to her death, or not draw another breath.

One day by her window waiting for her brothers homeward hasting, sat the young Princess and span.

Suddenly the dog began barking. Through the courtyard scurried a poor beggar-woman, worried by the dog she kept at bay with her stick.

"Don't go away! Stay there, stay!" the Princess shouted, from the window leaning outward.

"Let me call the dog to heel, and I'll offer you a meal."

And the beggar-woman answered: "Pretty child, you take my fancy! For that dog of yours, you see, could well be the death of me. See him snarling, bristling yonder! Come here, child!"

The Princess wanted to go out, and took a loaf. But the dog its body wove round her feet, refused to let her step towards the woman-beggar.

When the woman, too, drew near, wilder than an angry bear, it ttacked her. How perplexing!

"Had a bad night's sleep, I reckon!" Said the Princess. "Catch it! There!"

And the bread flew through the air. The poor beggar-woman caught it.

"I most humbly thank you, daughter, God be merciful!" said she. "In return take this from me!"

The bright apple she was holding, newly picked, fresh, ripe and golden, straight towards the Princess flew...

How the dog leapt in pursuit! But the Princess neatly trapped it in her palms.

"Enjoy the apple at you leisure, little pet! Thank you for the loaf of bread..."

Said the beggar-woman, brandished in the air her stick and vanished...

Up the stairs the Princess ran with the dog, which then began pitifully staring, whining, just as if its heart were pining for the gift of speech to say: "Throw that apple far away!"

Hastily his neck she patted: "Hey, Sokolko, what's the matter? Lie down!"

Entering once more her own room, she shut the door, sat there with her spindle humming, waiting for her brothers' coming.

But she could not take her gaze from the apple where it lay, full of fragrance, rosy, glowing, fresh and juicy, ripe and golden, sweet as honey to the lips! She could even see the pips...

First the Princess thought of waiting until dinner. But temptation proved too strong. She grasped the bright apple, took a stealthy bite and with fair cheek, sweetly hollowed a delicious morsel swallowed.

All at once her breathing stopped, listlessly her white arms dropped. From her lap the rosy apple tumbled to the floor. The hapless maiden closed her swooning eyes, reeled and fell without a cry, on the bench her forehead striking, then lay still beneath the ikon...

Now the brothers, as it chanced, were returning in a band from another warlike foray. Out to meet them in the forest, went the dog and, running hard, led them straight into the yard.

Said the Knights: "An evil omen! Grief in store!"

The door they opened, walked into the room and gasped. But the dog like lightning dashed for the apple and devoured it. Death that instant overpowered it. For the apple was, they saw, filled with poison to the core.

By the dead Princess the brothers bent their heads in tears and uttered holy prayer to save her soul; Nothing could their grief console.

From the bench they raised her, dressed her, wished within a grave to rest her. Then had second thoughts. For she was as rosy as if sleep. Garlands of repose were wreathing round her, though she was not breathing.

Three whole days they waited, but still her eyes were tightly shut.

So that night with solemn ritual, in a coffin made of crystal, they laid out the body fair of the Princess and from there, to a hollow mountain bore her, where a tomb they fashioned for her:

Iron chains they used to fix her glass case to pillars six. With due caution, and erected iron railings to protect it.

Then the Eldest smote his breast, and the dead Princess addressed:

"Ever peaceful be your slumber! Though your days were few in number On this earth spite took its toll? Yet shall heaven have your soul. With pure love did we regard you, for your loved one did we guard you, but you came not to the groom, only to a chill dark tomb."

That same day the bad Tsarina, waiting for good news to reach her, secretly the mirror took and her usual question put:

"Who is now by far the fairest, and has beauty of the rarest?"

And the answer satisfied:

"You, it cannot be denied. You in all the world are fairest. And your beauty is the rarest!"

In pursuit of his sweet bride, through the country far and wide, still Prince Yelisei goes riding, weeping bitterly. No tidings!

For no matter whom he asks, people either turn their backs, or most rudely rock with laughter: No one knows what he is after.

Now to the bright Sun in zeal, did the bold young Prince appeal:

"Sun, dear Sun! The whole year coursing through the sky, in springtime thawing from the chill earth winter snow! You observe us all below. Surely you'll not grudge an answer? Tell me, did you ever chance to see the Princess I revere? I'm her fiance." "My dear,"

Said the Sun with some insistence, "I have nowhere seen your Princess, so she's dead, we must presume. That is, if my friend, the Moon, has not met her on his travels, or seen clues you may unravel."

Through the dark night Yelisei, feeling anything but gay, with a lover's perseverance, waited for the Moon's appearance.

"Moon, O Moon, my friend!" he said. "Gold of horn and round of head, from the darkest shadows rising, with your eye the world apprising. You whom stars with love regard as you mount your nightly guard! Surely you'll not grudge an answer? Tell me, did you ever chance to see the Princess I revere? I'm her fiance." "O dear!"

Said the Moon in consternation,

"No, I have not seen the maiden. On my round I only go, when it is my turn, you know.

It would seem that I was resting, when she passed." "How very vexing!"

Cried aloud Prince Yelisei. But the Moon went on to say:

"Wait a minute! I suggest you have the Wind come to the rescue. Call him now! It's worth a try. And cheer up a bit! Goodbye!"

Yelisei, not losing courage, to the Wind's abode now hurried.

"Wind, O Wind! Lord of the sky, herding flocks of clouds on high. Stirring up the dark-blue ocean, setting all the air in motion. Unafraid of anyone, saving God in heaven alone! Surely you'll not grudge an answer? Tell me, did you ever chance to see the Princess I revere? I'm her fiance." "O hear!"

Said the Wind in turmoil blowing.

"Where a quiet stream is flowing, stands a mountain high and steep. In it lies a cavern deep; In this cave in shadows dismal, sways a coffin, made of crystal. Hung by chains from pillars six. Round it barren land in which no man ever meets another. In that tomb your bride discover!"

With a howl the Wind was gone. Yelisei wept loud and long. To the barren land he journeyed, desperately, sadly yearning, once again to see his bride.

On he rode. A mountain high rose before him, soaring steeply fom a land laid waste completely.

At its foot, an entrance dim. Yelisei went quickly in. There, he saw, in shadows dismal swayed a coffin made of crystal, where the Princess lay at rest, in the deep sleep of the blest. And the Prince in tears dissolving threw himself upon the coffin...

And it broke!

The maiden straight came to life, sat up, in great wonder looked about and yawning as she set her bed see-sawing, said with pretty arms outstretched:

"Gracious me! How long I've slept!"

Down she stepped from out the coffin. O the sighing and the sobbing! Carrying his bride, he strode back to daylight. Home they rode, making pleasant conversation, till they reached their destination.

Swiftly rumour spread around:

"The Princess is safe and sound!"

It so happened the Tsarina in her room was idly seated by her magic looking-glass, and to pass the time did ask:

"Who in all the world is fairest, and has beauty of the rarest?"

Said the mirror in reply:

"You are fair, I can't deny, but the Princess is the fairest, and her beauty is the rarest!"

The Tsarina leapt and smashed on the floor her looking-glass.

Rushing to the door she saw the fair young Princess walk towards her.

Overcome by grief and spite, the Tsarina died that night.

From the grave where she was buried, to a wedding people hurried, for the good Prince Yelisei wed his Princess that same day.

Never since the World's creation, was there such a celebration; I was there, drank mead and yet, barely got my whiskers wet.

[sinnabonka]

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth: 

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins. 

[whichtammy]

Sent from Ithaca Ⅰ

Summary:

After "the Blip" and getting back to his daily life, Sam Wilson gets attracted by an email shown in his mailbox repeatedly and starts continuous correspondence with the sender named Ithaca. During their correspondence, Sam fills the lost memory of his lost home and starts to rebuild new life in the so-called post-bilp era. With the more letters he sends to and receives from Ithaca, however, the more strange connections does Sam find showing up between his real life and the words written down by that Ithaca who loves to tell stories and poems in his letters. Sam can't help but feeling that maybe there was not only an anonymous pen pal who loves literal fantasy behind the name of Ithaca, but a sign with an intention to lead him to get across the boundary between stories and the real life.

—————————————————————

Hi，

I was in your support group for veterans four years ago, are you still work there now? I'm wondering if I could be a member of your group again, or could you please recommend some other groups like that for me?

PS. I'd like to ask that can we talk if it is possible? The group work under your guidance had helped me a lot in the past, I wishthere could be a chance for me to say thank you in person.

Please contact me.

Yours

Ithaca

Sam Wilson finds the mail in his mailbox much of puzzling, the sender'sidentity is ambiguity, as well as the intention. He did work in a support group for veterans for a while, not a short time in fact, it was a regular and steady job after his retirement from the army. However, everybody could know it if one ever had any interest in Sam Wilson, nearly everything of him is on the internet after his real identity was made public, and his work experiences is just a small part of this massive archive of Sam Wilson, open source, 7/24 online. So, even the sender said he (maybe a she, Sam thinks) had been in his support group, there is nothing provable that he or she had really been there, nor if he is really a veteran who is searching for information. It seems like that the only real and clear intention is to get contact with Sam, and for some reasons, the contacts on the other side chose to make himself vague, hiding behind the name of Ithaca, which is no doubt an alias, left nothing of contact details, no phone number, no address. Of this Ithaca, the only information Sam receives is the request of "please contact me"at the end of an email and a traceless virtual mail address.

Another information Sam has is that the sending time of the mail is three years after when it was first sent. He checked through the inbox, there are actually more than one single letter with the same content, that Ithaca keeps sending the same mail to him every three months all the time and today is the day of another third month, so his mailbox received the exactly same words again. He must be doubting, if notthe detail time of "I was in your support group for veterans___ago" keeps changing, that maybe the sender had set a repeating schedule sending and forget it all afterwards, only to leave him an alarmed-like mailbox to remind him that "it'stime"with a virtual Ding.

However, the sender never forgot his letter, nor did Sam ever receive the reminder. He didn'tget any reminds of his mailbox at all during the past three years, in fact, he was even not reminded of himself either for such a long time. He feels like the life of his is a movie with the audience left midway, when the one was back to watch, it is already the "three years later". He also thinks himself as the movie lost audience and the audience missed the movie at the same time, as the movie, he continues without being conscious of, as the moviegoer, he watches with a lack of awareness of what has happened. There is a gap in his memory, something interrupted there, he knows it is there, but he can'tknow what it is that he missed exactly——he just keeps playing and watching, for he has settle down in now, he would have no time to chase the missing part in the past at the same time.

Is the mail a plot supplement of the movie? Sam clicks the reply, forIthaca’s mail, not the other mails alike in his inbox. His mail address got public too after the publicity, people keeps sendingmails in, they are just having a try, it'ssort of a free inviting after all. Many senders write true and false stories about themselves with fictional names and identities, some of them even make up stories of Sam and them to make themselves look like a real person who had real connection with him. Now, Sam has learned to distinguish these big and small lies from his experience of being a celebrity, he doesn'treply any of them now, but he picks up some long mails of them to read with an interest at some time and gets amazed by the imagination and details all the time. He admits to himself more than one time that he would really believe those stories they write about Sam Wilson if he is not Sam Wilson himself. Sometimes he would wonder, did he really in fact play a role in others'life in such a strange and detailed way? Is he really someone to others? Can he indeed have such strange and detailed meaning to strangers'life?

So he replys.

Hi Ithaca,

I'm not working in that group now, if you are looking for something like that, I think that the official website of SRV(Supporting and Rebuilding with Veteran) may provide the information you need about similar activities and groups we had before.

It would be my pleasure if i had helped, I'm so grateful for your supports, too.

Best wishes

Sam Wilson

He reads his brief reply again with a mixed feeling of curiosity and suspiciousness. He wants to see the sender behind the mask, while he is afraid of the fact that what he reveals would only be another face of a hater, a stalker. The mailbox is fulled with mails of stalking, fever, curses and hatred, and they are only a small part of the massive archive of the cult of Sam Wilson. Maybe that is what it takes be to a celebrity, Sam thinks, being a celebrity means exposing yourself to everyone, there is a chance that anyone could come for you, holding a comprehensive information of you and somehow your life truns to be a waiting for the ambush from maybe a friend or foe. He used to believe that he would leave the habit of distinguish people as friend and foe behind when he left the army, he knew he needed time to adopt a new regular life, he would take time to tame his battle life into a tamed daily life, that's why he joint the support group for veterans, as a group member first, sooner a group leader. Sam had expectations of it, he was hoping to build a loose but continuous connection between his two lives and land himself in the soft daily life without enemy in the end.The smooth landing he hoped for would not erase his old friends who had gone with his old foes away in a cold way, he was trying to make it a soft goodbye. Sam truly believe it a realistically ideal plan, he was planing to share this realistic idealism to more people like him. He failed, he thinks later, his vision of life was much simpler that what it is. Life was not going to say a soft hello in return, Sam soon realized the group was in fact the beginning of a new war. He had planned to meet with different people and experience, even complex adventures, the exciting potential was as another a great reason why he choose to keep contact with veterans, but he didn't see the whole vision, he didn't know how strange the man he would meet, nor did he predict the adventures coming along with him. He had no idea about the honor he would fight for, for he was clueless about bad things coming along with it as well.

He recalls that he had regarded the veteran group as a farewell to sacrifice, no more sacrifice he would see, what's waiting for would only be stories of sacrifice to be heard, they would not be alive but are only memories, living in the past and reliving only in the room crowded with lively narrators. That was what Sam expected for, he was prepared for heavy stories and sharing the burden of those who could take their stories alone no more. He would be obligatory to help if the owner wanted to share her or his story. Tell the untold, remember the forgotten, make nameless sacrifice heard and rest in a rectified name, he said this to himself. Now he sees the imprudence of his prediction, the future has given him stories as wish, telling him that his life would be totally changed by a stranger, who carries so many stories that he himself is like a fictional being in the end, every story he had dreamed for would come true because of the stranger, in a wilder way though, just like a fictional fantasy.

For this reason Sam feels he has a empathy for people who write him long letters, how couldn't he show up in someone's "normal life" when the living legend Captain America could ran into his house and asked for help when he was a normal nobody. Sam is immersing in those thoughts and writes his polite reply with a intention of keeping distance from Ithaca. On the one side, the last thing he wants to do is to arouse the interest of a potential stalker, on the other, he would blame himself if he intended to ignore someone with a honest and stubborn heart, even though he knows that the line between a insisting fan and insisting hater is always dim. Sam would like to believe maybe the sender really have some stories to tell, the name of Ithaca implies it, too. The name is another reason made him write his reply, he is home now, spending his time getting familiar with the small town he used to know very well. It occurs to him that the sender, if is telling the truth and did attend his group activities, could possibly be the young man who said wanted to be a poet in a theme activity of "getting a job". Sam remembers his talk, he said he was reading Homer then and recited some verses from the epic. He can't remember the verses by words, but he has a clear picture of the scene, it was some poetic sentences about the desire of going home and the failed of it. The young man said that everyone in the room would share the same feeling when they heard Ithaca calling Odysseus. A long silence fell down to the room after his speech, the young man sensed it too, he said "sorry" as a conclusion. There was no "it's OK" responded, perhaps people in the room had no clue of whether should she or he accept that apology, they may didn't know should they take it as something offensive but forgivable, people were just sad. Sam was short of words for a while, he hadn't read the book then, but the poem did hurt him down in a direct way. He thought at that time that maybe that was the gift of being a poet, look at the reckless young man, he could lift and drown people's hearts only by a verse.

Sam opens the browser to search what exactly the verses are, unfortunately, his vague memory leads him to nothing precisely relevant, which makes him want a reply mail from Ithaca more eagerly, he wants him to contact him back, as long as he is the young man in his memory. Sam opens his mailbox, writes and sends another mail to Ithaca, he thinks himself kind of reckless as soon as he clicked the button of "send", what if he is not him? What if the man on the other side has a dark plan? Would he use his letter as an inspiration of gossips and rumors? Things like that happen all the time. Sam is so tired of get misunderstood because of his own words being twisted, he always gets hurt of those made-up stories, he is tired of making explanations of his stories which are not belong to him at all, he is tired of feeling hurt. He sends it anyway.

Hi Ithaca,

I can't remember if it goes like

"they talk about the days of going home"

Sam

To Be Continued…

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

[carcrash15]

I'm sorry

It was a stormy day and you were out in the open in a small city in Norway. It had been devastating for you after your tragic break up with Steve and you had left your job as an Avenger and had also resigned from SHIELD.

You were forced to move away to Norway and was now leading a simple life. You would work at a local book store and would spend your nights in clubs and indulging yourself in alcohol and sex. The only things that would keep you out of Steve's memories. The only time you would think of him was when you would retire to your bed after a long day of work and that's when all those memories would haunt you down. His body on your's, both your bodies tangled together, the moanful nothings, the soft kisses, the touch, everything. And then that one night. The one night you would never want to remember. The night Steve walked in with hatred in his eyes. The night he tried to violate you even after you said no. The insults and every fucking thing.

You were pulled back in the present when you realised that the storm was growing worse and it was raining heavily. You went and took shelter under the shade of a closed cafe. There was no one on the streets and that's when you started to wander why had you even got out on that day? The storm took a worse shape and the shade above you was blown away and you almost screamed and fell down when you felt a pair of strong arms prevent you from falling face flat.

You stumbled a bit and managed to gain your balance and then stood properly and turned back to face your saviour.

Your blood boiled at the sight of his face. His blue, white and red armour fitted his body perfectly, but his shield was missing.

You didn't say a word and started to walk in the opposite direction.

"Y/n?" You heard him call your name. "Let's go. The storm's not safe."

You stood at your tracks, but didn't turn back. His voice still made shivers run down your spine.

"Y/n, please. It's not safe here." He pleaded.

This time you turned back and faced him with your face having an indifferent look. "I thought it was over. I don't think I have any more business left with you."

"Y/n, please it's not the time to argue, it's not safe here and I'm here for your rescue." He looked at you with pleading eyes. His baby blue orbs piercing through you.

"I don't think that I need to be rescued by you, Captain Rogers. Even after..." You were cut by a yelp and Steve's pleading voice.

"Y/n please. I beg you." He had been hit hard on the face by a tree trunk and was now bleeding.

"No way that I'm coming with you." You said sternly.

"Not forme, but for Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint? They haven't done wrong to you then why are you punishing them?" Steve asked with teary eyes. He had hit you hard where it actually hurts.

Your face softened a bit and you nodded your head in approval and he said something via his com and soon a quin jet landed Infront of you and both of you boarded.

Tony was waiting for both of you at the entrance with a wide smile. The moment you boarded, he embraced you in a brotherly hug and kisses your temple.

"Finally you agreed to meet your big brother again. I'm not gonna leave you soon this time." He said with a bright face.

"Oh, come on are we invisible or something?" It was Natasha.

"Oh, no you definitely are not invisible darling." You said as you hugged her.

"Do inform us before you leave next time and as per my guess, it's not gonna be anytime soon." Both the women giggled at it.

All this while, Steve was standing at a corner smiling at you but then he started to cough and exited the room, followed by Tony.

Natasha had been chatting with you for a while till she retired to the cockpit to take a look at Clint.

You aimlessly walked towards where Steve and Tony had disappeared. That's when you heard whispers from inside the room.

"What the hell were you planning when you jumped out of the plane in the storm and rain with a chest infection?" It was Tony.

"Tony, I'm not gonna die you know that the serum..." Steve was cut as he started to cough violently.

You cracked the door open a little and peeped in. Steve was coughing blood in a white handkerchief.

"See now you're coughing blood." Tony said in a shout.

"Tony lower, Y/n's just in the next room." Steve managed to say in between his coughs.

"Steve we know you're not gonna die but doing such things will increase your pain. Anyway it is that you're going through a lot even though you don't want to show it, it's still visible on your face." It was now Bruce's kind voice.

Steve was bent down by the coughing fits as he looked up at Bruce and clutched his chest hard in pain a he said between his coughs, "Y-you ..kn-kno--know I love t-the p-p-pain."

His eyes were glassy and he looked at Bruce with pleading eyes.

The sight made tears run down your eyes as you felt your heart ache. Whatever it was but you can never deny the fact that you still loved Steve.

"Steve you really should lay down now." It was Tony's voice this time. But it was soft and kind, so unlike Tony.

"No, I'm fine." Steve protested.

"Sorry but you're not." Tony's voice was stern this time. "Bruce prepare for the treatment."

"Tony, not now please." It was Steve. His voice horse from coughing.

"I don't wanna listen to anything. Anyways you've caused a lot of damage already, we can't afford to wait till we reach the tower." Said Tony as he helped Steve up and made him lay down on the medical table.

Bruce helped Steve open the upper portion of his armour and take off the shirt under it.

Bruce then plugged an IV in Steve's left arm and plugged two wires on both sides of his chest which were connected to a monitor.

Tony then held Steve's head in position as Bruce was pushing a tube into Steve's mouth and another tube into Steve's nose.

You could see Steve's face whiten with pain as folded his fingers into a painfully tight fist. But he made no sound. It was only once that his body jumped up but Tony's grip on him tightened and there was no more movement.

You didn't notice Tony coming out and then he was face to face with you.

"Y/n, you here?" He asked in horror.

"What's this happening Tony? What's happened to Steve? For how long has this..." You were cut off by Tony.

"Y/n, let us just talk outside. Steve needs rest." Was all Tony said and pulled you by the rust to the other room.

"I want an explanation guys." You shouted out in frustration.

Everyone was present there except for Steve. All their heads hung low.

"Y/n, Steve didn't want us to inform you. He has been diagnosed with a chest infection which is not quite cute able and is really painful. Though it will not kill him, but it has made him very weak and probably he'll never be able to fight again like before. And Y/n that's the reason he...." Tony was cut off by you.

"That's the reason he broke up with me. Because he didn't want me to spend my life with a dependent person." Your sentences ended with sobs.

"Yes." It was Tony's voice. Soft and gentle.

"Can I see him?" You looked up at Bruce with hopeful eyes.

"Hmm." Bruce hummed.

_

He was laying there on the table, most possibly asleep. His face was pale and his chest rised and fell painfully. His brows were furrowed in pain.

You went and sat on the chair next to the table. How could you not notice the pain he was going through? You loved him, but you only saw the mask of ruthlessness covering his pained withins.

You placed a hand on his head, stroking his blonde strands from his face.

He slowly and painfully opened his eyes. His baby blue orbs portrayed the intense pain he was going through and was trying to hide from everyone.

He took a deep breath by closing his eyes shut. You could say that breathing was really painful for him.

"Steve!" You sighed in disbelief. "Why would you even think that? I fell in love with the Steve Rogers who would cry for the lives he had taken in a mission, not the Captain America who would go fighting and killing people for the greater good. Steve whatever it may be, I love you and I will never stop loving you how hard I try."

"I'm sorry." He said still keeping his eyes closed. Trying to hide the pain from you which he was going through.

"Steve, it's okay. I'm sorry. I failed to understand the pain you were going through. I couldn't be a good friend. Why didn't you tell me?" You sighed.

"I thought you'd hate me. I'm no more the Captain America I was before. I'm now again the sick kid I used to be before the serum." His voice was painful.

Steve left a shuddering breath. You could see tears run down his eyes.

"Steve, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." You were crying by the time. Your hands on Steve's cheek.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." He whispered as he placed his IV'ed hand over your hand that was resting on his cheek and took you hand to his mouth to place a soft kiss at the back of your hand.

"I love you." Was all he said.

You ruffled his hair and kissed his temple gently as you said, "I love you too. And I'm never gonna leave your side, whatever it may be."

You looked at Steve. He was staring at you with smile on his lips and his puppy like baby blue eyes.

You laughed at his expression and so did he, but he handed up yelping and clutching his chest hard in pain.

You rubbed his chest to ease him and he kept on staring at you.

"Captain Rogers you should better sleep now or else you'll miss all the fun once we reach the tower.

And that was enough for Steve to close his eyes and doze off as you smoothed his hair.