#I WOULD LINK THE VIDEO BUT IM STUPID AND DONT KNOW HOW TO TUMBLR
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my personal blog tagging habits post
i dont know who this post is for but i have the feeling of if i dont explain myself i will go crazy so here is a long rambling post about the way i tag things on tumblr dot com
i like to tag things by post type because looking for a post via the archive layout is sometimes a lot harder than being able to scroll down each and every post. also just fun to go through stuff like #vid or #audio every now and then
on my old blog i would tag based on the actual post type because it was easier to tell if something was made in a text post or not with the old tumblr layout. so text posts with images were still #txt. in the time between having my old blog and remaking to this blog it became much easier to embed pics, audio, videos, etc so now i tag based on type of content even if it's a text post. also sometimes i would go looking for a post knowing it had an image but got confused if i should look in #txt or #pic
i manually tag all of this btw. i tried using xkit for it but it was wanting to tag all posts as #txt no matter what so i gave up. it's just an extra second anyway
all quote, link, and chat posts are considered part of #txt (unless they have an image etc)
tagging by content hierarchy goes #vid > #audio > #pic > #txt
tagging #gif is a holdover from the olden days back before we had extensions with accessibility options that would prevent gifs from autoplaying and people asked for gifs to be tagged to block them with tumblr savior. but it's just fun to go through my #gif tag anyway
speaking of which im not entirely sure what the tag people like to use/block flashing imagery is anymore. wayyyyy back in like 2012 there was a movement to stop using just #epilepsy as it was clogging up the tag for people wanting actual resources on epilepsy so it was agreed upon to use #epilepsy warning instead as it would show up as a different separate tag. but then the search function changed meaning things tagged as #epilepsy warning would show up in the #epilepsy tag since they had the same word in it. i assume #flashing is the best one
generally i'll tag by media name if it's something id like to go back and look at. i'll reblog posts with mario in it but i dont care enough to have a #mario tag. stuff like that
most of my miscellaneous tags like #good #awesome #holy shit etc are just whatever and more vibes based than anything. but sometimes it's fun to go back and look at posts that have the #good tag
but i will say specifically my #smile tag tends to be half posts about just being happy rainbows etc and half posts about love and joy from the past. a lot of times it's photos of peoples pets that have definitely passed since then and i just find it nice to smile at this persons pet they loved 20 years ago today. also nice memories of people happy or helping out etc
#a is for posts i would have on an ""aesthetic"" blog but i like reblogging stupid shit here too so whatever. consider it stands for "art" "aesthetic" "a nice thing to look at" whatever
#classic is generally fav posts from 2016 or earlier. posts that shook the world from times of ould
i dont know how to end this post thanks for reading
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ITS RHI’S INFLUENCE THAT CAUSED THIS! BLAME HER AWESOME FUSION AU AND ME BEING JONATELLO TRASH @rhi-draws-things / @turtle-trash has ruined me.
#turtle-trash’s fusion au#MAH BABEH CADON#I WOULD LINK THE VIDEO BUT IM STUPID AND DONT KNOW HOW TO TUMBLR#Cadon#Leonardo#tmnt#tmnt au#tmnt 2012#Donatello#Casey Jones#tmnt Leonardo#tmnt casey jones#tmnt Donatello
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my only text post here and its about morrigan and lilith being gay
i feel like i have to talk about it here. like twitter gets to hear about it from me all the time so they know all my thoughts on the matter but you guys are lucky so you dont hear me talk often on any of my blogs. i should ruin that!! unfortunately for u guys tumblr doesnt have a character limit either. anyways every so often i show my morrigan/lilith art in nondarks spaces and someone always goes “ouh wai i thought they were sisters!????” an d i have to explain how foolish they are and that they should learn the shitty fucked up lore with a 10000 plotholes (but its allowed to because its dope as hell) like. this is like the sailor moons cousins thing but people actually fucking believe theyre cousins. darkstalkers fans stay losing anyways heres a high res of this fruity ass png bingus with an e drew in the 90s
i know its obvious that peopl who think theyre sibs just have never touched a ds game or looked at any official images ever but. i think they should because ds arts amazing but more importantly morrigan and lilith are little fruits. morrigsn a grape and lilith is cherry.
i hate ressurections artstyle + artist whitewashed anakaris and felicia + drew jedah without heels. but ykno. i will take my wins.ALSO LOL.. BUTT WINGS FAIL MOMENT THIR WINGS OIN THEIR BACK!!!!!!! anyways
the titty press on the window. the breath. morrigans gaze. the hand hold. cishet games have no fucking idea what theyre up against. gona talk about the actual game now
its so fucking gay. anyways im gona jus talk abou my hcs now i think jedah is jus liliths mom. hes v open abou his fave child bu they still make lilitha da spagheti.... also i think its funny cauds like. i think u guys kno i ship jedemi which i could go over why in this post but this isnt ABOUT THEM. its about MORRIGAN. and MORRIGAN 2!!!!!!!!! back to what i was saying jedah being liliths mom but also marryign demitri would make him morrigans father in law.. but also... since jedah turned ozom into fetus of god ozom is related to all of them too????? lol. i just think jedah turning his enemies into his children is funny and no one talks about that enough. anyways i feel like a lot of people just see two women (or in this case demigirls i think they r both nb) being close and instantly think “ouh theyre so close theyre like sisters HEHE!!!” and like. its so obvious they explored eachothers bodies. like i dont hate u if u intepret their relationship that way like maybe im an iddy bit concerned abou how you view your siblings but whatever i wont think about it too hard i think people think its cute and funny dynamic or whatever and thats it but like. i also dont wana see that cause..... i simply do not ! :] anyways i constantly feel like a freak caus of that but i think i am a freak for different reasons thatre morally ok but legally bad but lets not talk about that lets talk about the satanic subtext. jesus obviouslly was inspired by jedah w/ the savior and the rapture and the betrayal (ozom didnt betray jedah with a kiss hes homophobic and also has no lips :’[) but ALSO!!!!!!! god made eve from a piece of adam. lilith was made from a piece of morrigan. lilith was made a demon for thinking that she was equal to adam, lilith believes shes morrigans equal and betrays jedah’s little utopia attempt. they choose a life of being gay with stupid fucking goth bimbo and hedonism instead of saving the world and they benefit from it... i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about that at all an when i bring it up to the 8 other ds fans with rights theyre all like “ouh ive never thought about it like that!!!” i think people kinda just avoid looking at morrigan in a deep way in general even though shes one of if not the most important character and theres so much interesting stuff you can look into like her struggle to be herself and have fun or giving that up to make makai less of a shithole, her power being taken away in a society where power is EVERYTHING, her relationship with demitri going from “lol this dudes so fucking stupid and easy to make fun of” to “ew this rat fuck is trying to make me his mindcontrold servant because the only way he could possibly think of someone as anything positive is if theyre below him” i say that but people kinda avoid looking at ds lore in a deep way in general so yea. lol. ds turned me into the joker theres so much cool shit you can talk about but NOO most of the bs is porn boobs titty asscheek balls and NONE OF ITS EVEN GOOD. I SAID IT!!!!!! DESPITE WHAT THE SO CALLED “TOLERANT LEFT” MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT... like how makai is made out of gods corpse and no one knows how big it is and the fucking door that killed jedah also killed a fruit noble (his name is persimon the door kills fruits....) anyways i have a ds server ive never posted a link to here.... i’ll drop it in this post i guess https://discord.gg/wMBGrda theres probably a lot i forgot to talk about despite the fact i wrote so much LOL. anyways the servers mostly lore discussion or jokes but there are 2 people there that play the video game.... crazy ik.....
#darkstalkers#morrigan aensland#Lilith Aensland#tw // incest#(just a mention but id rather b safe ykno :])#snail talk#mute that tag if u want this to go away#im deranged#also if ur freakd out by tw dont worry....#i am jus bitching about it..#big text warning too
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wrong send • bang chan (I)
pair: bang chan x reader
genre: college au, friends to lovers, fake dating, fluff, suggestive no smut tho uwu, a little angst, bullet point scenario
warnings: suggestive it’s just making out sjabdka
“In which Y/n was supposed to send her best friend, Lee Minho, a porn link for scientific purposes but accidentally sent it to her neighbor, Bang Chan.”
masterlist (a/n: sike ya bitch I’m too excited to wait for 6 pm so here you go hnng gotta cut it halfway bc tumblr can’t handle this masterpiece hnnghgn anyway sorry this took too long ive been procrastinating and i still had irremediable and unforeseen to deal with hhnghgn but pls don’t be afraid to request huehuehue and im sorry if my style of writing in bullet point format is similar to some writers hgnfhgng i’ve read some of these types of writing and it stuck with me so im very sorry :((( )
taglist: @cahtastrophie @anxietyishell
PART II
you and minho were close
you grew up together
learned to walk together
bath together when you were babies of course :))
bully and judge people together
basically everything
you studied in the same school and were inseparable since birth
it was like two puzzle together
when you need help with love minho is there to watch over you he scares all of them but u dont need to know that oof
when minho’s in trouble you’re there for him even if it’s bailing him out of jail dont ask why
you even watch porn together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
but that’s all platonic!!!
the two of you tried dating and were each other’s first kiss
but it didn’t really work out for the both of you
it was too awkward
so you decided that you were better off as friends
but that didn’t stop the two of you to be close huehuehue
y’all still cuddle like kids and personal space never existed between the two of you
that stayed until college
everyone legit thought the two of you were dating but—
“me and minho??”, “me and y/n??”
and you’d both send each other a playful glare
“ew no”
so when minho asked you to send him some link to a gay porn website
you didn’t even bat an eye
so here you are
about to send some porn link for minho’s entertainment and prob for his minho junior ;)))
“here’s the link you bitch”
and there you go
but what weirded u out tho is when minho didn’t reply immediately
he’s always fast when it comes to your texts or calls
but then you thought maybe he couldn’t wait anymore and is busy fucking or whatever
so imagine your shock when u received a text with multiple question marks
“?????????”
“hello to you too but what is this for?”
it was bang chan
bang motherfucking chan
The Bang Chan™
the one with grades higher than your height
the athlete who joins a lot of sports but eats like he hasn’t for weeks
the one who sits in front of you and asks for pencils every now and then
and has more girls than you have friends
“is this porn?”
“oh wait”
“it is porn”
you threw your phone away from you, burying your face on the pillow to sulk in embarrassment
out of all people it just had to be him ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐
your phone rang with the ring tone minho had set for himself let’s all assume it’s a sexy song
“hoe where’s the link”
“i think i did something terrible”
“wouldn’t be your first time lmao but what is it??”
“i accidentally sent it to someone else….”
“…..”
“….”
“…”
“..”
“how and who the hell did u sent it to?”
“bang chan…”
“whomst-hAHAHAHHNGDBJ ISN’T THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR??”
“DON’T LAUGH A ME U BITCH ;’((("
“I CAN’T NOT HUHAHAHA”
you whine while he wheezes at your misery
“just tell him it’s not for him and apologize u big baby”
“but that’s just embarrassing” o(╥﹏╥)o
“do you really want him to think that it’s for him and you’re trying to make him hard and seduce him?? what makes it worse is that it’s gay porn”
“nO”
“tHEN DO SOMETHING”
so that’s how you find yourself standing in front of the door of the apartment across yours
with shaky hands you knock on the door
it opens to reveal bang chan himself in his shirtless glory- Σ(゜ロ���;)
…..
(╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) !!!!!!!
sHiRtLEsS?????
suddenly, you don’t know how to breathe don’t we all tho
hngkdb mfucking bitch has defined abs how can you function normally
how is this man comfortable with showing his abs to random people???
it doesn’t help that he still has little droplets of water on his body
“hi?”
you yelp, literally, and that caused a small chuckle from chan at your cute reaction but!!!
HiS cHuCKle sOuNdED !!!!
you pinch your wrist to wake yourself up and maybe stop yourself from staring at his torso
now is not the time y/n!! (ノಥ益ಥ)ノ
“um- I’m- hi….”
“hi there” he smiles his dimpled smile and —*inhales*
your heart went !!!!
it took you a lot to compose yourself before you squish his cheeks in your hands
nO Y/N !!!
cOnTRol YOuRSeLf !!!
“soooo”
“huh?”
“come inside for a bit” he grins at your confused look and opened his door wider
what
wHaT?
reluctantly, you follow him inside his apartment. you weren’t surprised when u saw the mess inside, it was a small space but it wasn’t too small
what surprised you tho
there were pieces of female clothes on the floor and bed
Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)
you were confused for a moment before you finally undersstood the situation and that those clothes where female clothing
fEMALE
nOT HIS
“channie who was that?”
your head whip to the bathroom door to stare at the girl is your neck ok y/n?
her eyes were wide
like
wIDe
like this O - O
and she looks scared :00
“a-are you chan’s s/o?” she gulps before scurrying to gather her things and run pass you muttering apologies and out the door she went
s/O????
you didn’t even have time to explain that you weren’t !!!
she just ran pass you !!!!
and wasn’t that mina?!?!
like The Mina™ who gets all boys huehue
“I’m sorry about her”
you hear chan sigh, now wearing a shirt
which was great bc if he stayed shirtless you might not be able to speak normally bold of u to assume that you can speak even if he’s fully clothed hhghghng
“she really think that these hook ups we have has a meaning”
hookups?
you shook your head, mumbling about how it doesn’t really mind you which is a big fucking lie
wHAT IF MINA GOSSIPS TO HER FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE CHAN’S S/O???
if anything she may already have broadcasted it to the whole campus
“sooo why did you came here??”
chan settled on his bed with a cute curious look on his face
just then did you remembered
yOU SEND HIM A GAY PORN LINK
suddenly you’re back to phase one
you keep opening and shutting your mouth from nervousness lIKE HELLO??? HOW??? ARE YOU??? SUPPOSED TO BE CALM???
aND IT’S CHAN SO???
DON’T!!! BLAME!!! Y/N!!!
“i-t’s about t-the… link-”
chan chuckles and nods his head ”yeah i saw it”
sAW IT?!?!
aS iN hE wATcHeD tHe vIdEO!?!?!
!!!!
chan must’ve noticed the look on your face and laughed his beautiful laugh and you felt your heart is being crushed !!!!
“no not like that! i meant that i received it yes”
oh
oHh
stupid you
why would chan even watch it if he knows that it’s porn hhnghg maybe he did watched it ;)))
you played with the hem of your shirt. eyes casted down from embarrassment smh how many times are you going to embarrass yourself y/n hhhnghn
“p-please forget about the link”
“oh??” chan tilted his head in confusion still with his mfuckin smile
“i-it wasn’t supposed to be sent for you!!! i’m really sorry for calling you bitch too…”
chan was shookt when you bowed 360 degrees and repeatedly apologizing
so being the kind person he is he took a hold of your shoulders with a cute smile
cHAN STOP MAKING CUTE FACES !!! Y/N IS DEAD !!!
AND HE’S TOO CLOSE FOR COMFOT HHNGHNY/N ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???
HANG IN THERE SWEETY
“it’s alright, i don’t mind but…”
but???
“does your boyfriend know???”
?????
“boyfriend?? i’m sorry but i don’t-”
“isn’t minho your boyfriend? y’know the dance major? i’m pretty sure the link is for him, right?”
o-O!!?
he thought you and minho??? are??? dating???
“um n-no we’re not! i mean we’re close but that’s it!”
chan released a relieved sigh and his smile came back
bUT?? HE’S STILL TOO CLOSE?? AND HIS BREATHING HITS YOUR BURNING CHEEKS??
“that’s good, I really thought I was going to have to face him”
he lets out a breathy laugh before letting go you secretly miss his touch and heading for his kitchen
“do you want to eat before going ahead? i mean you’re literally just across my front door so??”
well who are you to say no to that :’))
even if it’s possible that he can murder you rn but chan?? hurt someone??
yeah keep telling that to yourself :’))
what you didn’t expect tho was for the two of you to hit it off ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
the two of you have so many things to talk about and it was never awkward and chan was literally listening to whatever bs you were rambling about
and he has such a soft look on his face when he listens to you uwu ɾ⚈▿⚈ɹ
but it wasn’t long before you have to get going bc it’s a school day tomorrow
BUT THAT’S OK !!!
BC THE SECOND U OPENED YOUR DOOR TO HEAD TO COLLEGE HE OPENED HIS WITH A CUTE MORNING SMILE
y’all walk to college together with small talks and he walk you to your first class uwu (▰˘v˘▰)
when lunch arrived you and minho sat at the same table like usual
“soooo how did it went with chan??” minho asked with his mouth stuffed with pasta
“huh??”
minho deadpanned and threw one of his garlic bread at you
sTOP WASTING FOOD U HOE (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง
“i was asking about chan u dumbo”
from the grin on your face minho knew he was going to hear some good tea and drama although he insulted you for being a coward at first
“he’s hooking up with mina :000″
“is that the only thing you heard from what i just said :’<”
he was about to say something else when your junior best friend jisung came running to your table
“why didn’t you tell me!?!? i thought we were friends!?!?” (▰˘︹˘▰)
“tell you what??”
you can tell jisung was clearly offended but you didn’t know why tho
“that you and chan are dating you traitor!"
Σ(꒪ȏ꒪)
you and minho shared a look
"i was expecting that”
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???”
jisung look confused so you ended up explaining what happened yesterday with chan
“how did you managed to send him the porn link tho” jisung to a sad y/n,
“and what the hell did you need the porn link for?” jisung to a flustered minho
“that’s not the point!!” (●o≧д≦)
you slump on your seat with a defeated look and just then did u noticed the look that people are sending you
automatically you hid yourself by snuggling into minho uwu u cute y/n
“oi, you can’t just snuggle into me when everyone thinks you have a boyfriend” — “but i don’t”
“y/n?”
u look up from minho’s shoulder to see chan
"chan!!!" Σ(゜ロ゜;)
"can we talk for a moment??”
minho nudge you on the elbow, nodding as if to tell you to go ahead so you stood up and followed chan outside the cafeteria
when you’re outside chan faces you with a bothered look
“I’m so sorry for what people are saying about us I’m pretty sure it was mina she usually gossips a lot to her friends but I didn’t expect her to tell them that we’re dating just bc you came yesterday-”
chan was now rambling his apologies just like you did last night he looked cute like that btw
“it’s ok chan!! I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen”
chan was relieved when he heard that but he looked like he was still bothered by something
so being the sweetheart you are you asked him what it is ^~^
“can I ask you a favor??” he look uncertain so normally you were concerned
so you nod because !!!!
chan is worried !!!!
so it has to be something big !!!!
“i know this is probably going to be weird bc we just met last night and we’re not that close but-” chan look at your eyes to see if you still want him to continue so you nod at him
“c-can we please date?? but like fake dating and all?? i thought about it and it would really help me avoid those girls who wanted me in their bed and don’t worry i’ll pay you back! i swear-”
(〃゚д゚〃)!!!
"d-date!?!?!?”
you yelped, cheeks burning bright from chan’s offer
HOW CAN YOU NOT??
CHAN LITERALLY ASKED YOU TO DATE HIM !!! IT MAY BE FAKE AND ALL BUT STILL !!! HE ASKED YOU !!! YOU !!! TO DATE !!! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE !!!
and it didn’t help that he said please insert sad uwu :((
AS IF YOU’D SAY NO :((
"i-it’s ok if you don’t want to though!! I won’t force you!!”
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY NO TO BANG CHAN?? DEFINITELY NOT YOU BC!!! IT’S!!! BANG CHAN!!!
“i-im fine with it but why me tho??” bc you’re cute and awesome y/n (゚ヮ゚)
your cheeks became even more red than possible when chan gave you cute smile
"well, I really want to get to know you since last night and you weren’t like any girl to be honest”
aaAAHH
BANG CHAN U BITCH
Y/N???
ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???
you can feel your heart fluttering from his confession definitely not because he was looking at you with a fond smile and soft caring eyes hnghn
“so, are you in?"
with your trembling weak heart you nodded, knees weakening when he beamed at you and his mother fucking cute dimples showed
you’re doomed :’))
"great! I’ll see you later then”
later?? o-O??
“um what for??”
he chuckled at your confused lil face and patted your head
aaAAHH YOUR HEART JUST SKIPPED THOUSANDS OF BEATS
“for our first date dummy”
#bang chan#stray kids#forskz#skzinc#sk writersnet#skz#stray kids boyfriend#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids soft hours#straykids#k.one#skz fluff#straykids fluff#kpop#soft mood boards#stray kids aesthetic#stray kids au#stray kids drabbles#skz soft#moodboard#skz drabble#skz moodboard#skz au#chris bang#chan
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oh hi hello!! so i am a new fanfiction writer hehe, & i dont know how to post fics here?? like im sorry if that sounds super stupid but like,,, how do i post them properly? how do i do multiple chapters? & like how do i link those chapters??! its a lot. i could rly use sum help. thank u!!!
Hello! Welcome to the strange and wonderful world of tumblr XD. When it comes to posting fics here, it’s a little confusing if you don’t know what you’re doing, but all things considered it’s (usually) pretty simple!
First off, when it comes to formatting your fics, here’s a tutorial on how to use the different types of text within a tumblr textbox, such as italics and bold, inserting hyperlinks, etc. That’ll all come in handy when it comes to formatting your fics, and for when you have multiple chapters later on. For those multiple chapters, what I always do is make every individual chapter its own textpost, and then use the hyperlink tool to link to those other chapters as you go along. You can go back and edit your chapters that you’ve already posted and add links to the new chapters as you post them.
Another formatting thing is this: you don’t need to indent every new paragraph line when using tumblr. The tumblr text posts already have enough space between each paragraph, making the indent at the beginning of a new paragraph pointless. This isn’t a high school essay written on notebook paper, formatting it like so isn’t necessary.
If your fic is longer than 1,000 words, I would place it under a read-more. Here’s a link to a video on how to do that, if you didn’t know already. And one more thing, they took away the page break function for some god forsaken reason, so if you want to insert some sort of line to denote change of scene, pov, etc, you’ll have to do one manually. My go to these days is a dash ( - ) three times in a row with no spaces ( --- ), which will make a nice little line, and I do that three times so it looks like this:
--- --- ---
For the life of me I don’t know why they took out the page break, and I’m a little salty over it, but whatever. Hope this was helpful, and if you have any other questions still, let me know!
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its been a while since I've wrote.
I've been working on myself. and my life. its the end of June. and I have to move out soon.
im scared, to be honest. really scared.
I've never moved like this. im scared no one will help. im scared that im alone. i... used to write to her. she was my... heart. she was my feelings. she was this... light.
but I know now all she was.. was a human.
a lot of my anger over her leaving me at the worst point in my life has.. subsided mostly. I dont really forgive her, but im not... as haunted anymore.
I've been fixing my life slowly. I got health insurance about a month ago. really scared. feel like I screwed it up or something. I feel so vulnerable all the time now. im so... desperate for positive affection. I feel like a scared little boy. some of my friends are helping, but im really worried.
anyhow. i might be moving in with my uncle. im hesitant about it.. he's great to me, i probably shouldn't be worried. im apartment searching alone. i feel... really alone.
I think about her a lot. not subconsciously anymore. took me a lot of months to figure that out even a little. now I can stave the thoughts of, but things crop up. like the fact she still follows me on Spotify. she probably has no idea, but im pretty observant. it still hurts. I think its always going to hurt. my friends have really helped me. I grew close to two newer friends in Covid. I really depend on them now, im not sure if they know.. or if I want to tell them. im so scared of being abandoned again that I can't bring myself to say anything that might scare anyone off. I find myself imagining what it would be like to run into her.. or talk to her.
she deleted her tumblr. so there's no more link here. this place exists as a space to openly talk to... myself. I probably should use it more.
I wonder a lot what I'd say to her. maybe we meet up in that trader Joe's parking lot to discuss things like we originally did.. but I can't help but think... I forced her into all this monogamy relationship shit. i was a rebound that lasted 8 years. she cheated on me before we were even together... i.. dont know why i gave my heart to her. I dont know why I tried so hard. I mean, the cheap explanation was Love. but i... i went so much farther. i... destroyed myself emotionally to forgive her. she was this.. beautiful devil that never understood how i felt. she.. would tell me the things I wanted to hear.. but it was all.. emulation. she never... understood what an apology was.. or how to fix a situation that was broken. her emotional empathy was....absent. I used to be mad about it. I think i still am to an extent. but as I get farther away... I feel... sad. i feel bad for her. I pity her.
it was hard to speak to her after the damage she caused. I was so mad. all I wanted to do was say things that hurt her. things that could make her feel like i felt. pushing her away when really... i needed her help so badly.
now its been... 4 months? 5 months? since we've talked. it was dificult.. but I know it was for the best. she... had been emotionally cheating on me during the end of 2019 when we were still... trying. one month after we quit, she was with someone else... after 8 years. thats... hard. I want to say more negative things about it.. but I leave it there.
maybe I never understood. I dont know if ill ever understand the concept of people who actively love more than one person. but i know that's due to my trauma.
I feel stupid calling it "trauma". like. as if I'm some wounded victim. but maybe.. i am. I feel the effects from it all. the PTSD over things. unfairly judging things, people, and even RACES over my own personal damage.
im working to get back into therapy. I dont want to feel lost like I do. I dont want to wake up and look at her and i's old sex videos. i.. love them, but its hurts to hear her voice. i still snear at black hybrids. i didn't call an apartment because it was too close to her old one. it physically hurts to drive near her old house. i still remember our last hug and sitting on that bench.. crying. I remember feeling so much stronger as a teenager. I think teenage me would be disappointed.
i... want to talk to her, but I don't think its a good idea. I dont think anything good will come from it. I have new interests and new people and hearing about... her just... doing whatever she wants to benefit herself would only make me angry. im so angry over the effort I put into her dream vs how little she cared about mine.
when is that ever good? I don't care if your SOs dream is to be a stadium mascot. u better buy season tickets. she was so... self involved. i... needed her love.. but i don't really think she had any to spare.
I miss her. and I miss feeling all right.
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anyways, ill say bye now... i hope ure well rested and have a good day!! (wait, i remember what i wanted to ask!! at least i think this is what i wanted to ask? anywys, do u know what u want to do now that ure finished w school? if u dont mind me asking, of course, i understand if u think its a bit personal!) ok, now im done, have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated!! (and now i really did send u a bunch of asks..)
omg i hope u dont mind but ill be answering the stuff from ur last ask here (the one where i… deleted everything) under cut bc itll be 2x longer now
so first !!!!! how i got into kpop!!! it was thanks to my good pal (@.briwoon) boxy! i follow her on twitter and despite her being a day6 stan twt i had her unmuted anyway bc.. after years of being an anime blog on tumblr and seeing all my anime mutuals slowly converting into kpop blogs one by one i was able to filter the kpop out of my brain?? smth like that since back then i wasnt into kpop and i didnt want to unfollow since im mutuals with most of them :-0
another backstory - i was one of those people who never saw themselves getting into kpop? and i think the main reason was bc i thought liking kpop would make u seem lame?? due to the influence from people around me?? but as years went by and as my mutuals changed interests it stopped bothering me and that mindset kind of just? faded away bc who am i to call other people’s happiness bad?? but despite being okay with it i never really made the move to get into any groups lmao that was until i got tired of my interest at that time (seiyuu, japanese voice actors) and my interests would always. not last?? idk so maybe thats why i didnt want to get invested but it happened regardless
anyway usually i wouldnt take notice of her rts but this . this beautiful man with orange hair and minion glasses caught my eye when i was scrolling through my timeline and i was like o worm? oh mu god? hes beautiful? so i slid into her dms and asked her whomst the beautiful man was and she sent me all their mvs after that from congratulations to i smile (the most recent mv at that time, late june) for me to watch :-D now at that time, from what little knowledge i had of kpop.. i understood that groups would be singing and dancing so i was prepared to see some sick moves or smth?? but then. i clicked on miss i smile and my wig flew off? bc… wtf.? they were playing instruments???? and they sounded good ??? so i was like oh my god? a band??????
before day6 i also had (have) a preference for bands and the way their music sounds so i was like?? ready to just. get on board yknow?? i watched how can i say and i saw the lanky noodle wearing glasses and i was like o fuck mu life? i caved and asked boxy for their names and other information and best decision of my life bc.. they really make me happy!!! after that like the day after ? myabe they did a vlive and i was like o shit? what do i do… so i downloaded the vapp and wowie i love it? its my second home…… i watched every vlive they had at that time and i thought that was a lot… (it isnt, compared to mx) and i was just rly content??
(ok i know u asked for kpop and not … day6 or other groups bc im gonna talk abt how i got into mx and astro too bc…… how can i Not.. u can skip this part tho i just wanna ramble abt my loves? ill tell u when u can continue)
that was peak happiness for me at that time.. until… boxy started talking about monsta x in our groupchat (with @.tokayhk) and she would just ramble abt this kihyun fella (who i vaguely knew bc my real life friend likes him and mx and i bought her his pc before along with the guilty clan part 2) so i was like hmm interesting… and honestly? i wasnt going to get into monsta x i really wasnt planning on asking her abt them (since i was scared id lose interest in day6 right after) but then.. she started linking videos and i .. my resolve crumbled down as i heard monsta x yelling and … this beautiful cover (which boxy sent to show us how powerful kihyuns vocals are but i was 2 focused on mister aka minhyukku) and she told us how funny these monsta men are and i was like o h no…………….. eventually one day in late august i asked her to tell me more about these monstas…… aftert that i watched every mxray episode (starting from season 2 bc i dont know 1 comes before 2) and even though i didnt know anyone who was on screen except jooheon i found it really funny and?? it made me laugh so much i love mx?? ya… boxys kind of like my guardian angel?? shes really the reason im living tbh… introducing me to all these lovely people?? thank u miss boxy i love u
now. for the astrosus….. they were a bit different.. because i didnt have boxys help and they were the first group i took interest in solely bymyself so i knew i was in for a wild ride (at first, i couldnt even differentiate brian from sungjin in day6 lmao) after stanning monsta x and day6 i became more?? open to kpop and i started watching unhelpful guides on youtube bc . they were funnie and idk its nice??/ and i stumbled upon the astro one (which wasnt that funny but more helpful than anythng) and i was like. oh worm? the cicada group… bc i watched a short clip of them catching that stupid cicada in their office as it appeared on my tl one day so i clicked on the video ..and after watching that it led me to another video of astro being extra for 6 minutes and those six minutes/????? best six minutes of my life because theyre so fnny and they made me laugh a lot? (combined with the editing from op) so bc they were funnie i decided to look them up and read their profiles/??? i watched their nimdle video and only knew mj bc his tag was the two letters m and j lol but it really made me bust both of my lungs i just?? laughed A Lot
im not sure how i managed to put name to face so quickly but it mightve been bc after the nimdle videos i watched every ddoca and astro play as well as their vlives available bc.. i just inhale the content at godspeed??
for mx and astro i was drawn in by their personalities before their music because they were on more variety shows and had more chances to show dorky they all are which made it way quicker for me to fall for the two groups??? for day6 its a bit sad but the weekly scheduled vlives arent enough for me to tell what kind of people they are (although those r still hilarious) i just wish they would go on more variety shows?? its understandable if they themselves dont want to be on any shows though!!! i love all 3 groups with all my heart :-D
ok if u skipped u can start from here ill be answering the questions now lmao
FIRSTof all,,,,, youre learning how to drive?? thats so cool >:-0 we’re not allowed to learn until we’re like...?? 18?? or 21 idk but not so Soon :-( and its cute u think abt me (or of what to say) but pleaseth stay safe... i hope ur driving lessons go smoothly until u end theM!!! hopefully youll be able to get ur licence :-D
aNDD!!! the thought of drinking warm tea when its cold outside.. is so ?? nice to think about hecc u better drink that tEA and enjoy it !!!! stay warm and comfy miss RM ..... and it even snows there????? thats so cool tbh ?? (i love snow but maybe thats bc it doesnt snow here so i dont know the tru evil of snow but like.... its so.... white and fluffy??) i would ask u 2 take pics and show me but alas...... the time is not right :-( do u know when we’re allowed to expose ourselves?? i forgot rip... but its sometime next month right im excited???? since its near my birthday !!!!!
ok now to answer this ask no i actually have no clue what i want to be after i finish school?? yikEs but last year i (jokingly) said i wanted to be a farmer??? idk if i might actually do that probably not i guess im just freestyling (going with the flow) for now we’ll see where life takes me
and like i said u can ask me anything !!! im fine with it :-) alsooooo please dont ever feel bad about sending too many asks bc its a lovely thing to wake up to and i just?? get rly happy when i see all the asks in my activity :-D!!
#asks#rachel maria#oohh my this got really long#its already the next day so ill quickly answer the nxt set
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Fourteen Reasons why.
April 9th, 2017
Dear Tumblr Diary,
I’m watching “Thirteen Reasons Why.”
I haven’t read the books since middle school. But my cousin from my Dad’s side of the family sent me the book I think a year ago. Life always has a way of foreshadowing. I swear it does.
Anyway I’m reading the book too, putting off getting my food handler’s card because fuck that shit.
Anyway Im watching this and its kind of triggering. I havent watched the part where she kills herself but I imagine I’ve seen worse.
There’s a video I’ve seen Here’s a link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_PdYb0EL-Y
Anyway so far that part has hit me the most.
I mean, It has. After I got out of the hospital nobody asked me if I was okay. I had to lie. I lied about everything so I wouldnt get sent away longer than they needed me to be away.
I lied and said It was because I missed my great grandma instead of telling them it was because my world had shattered and nobody could hurt me anymore.
I lied about the pills. I took 96. Well thats now many were in the bottle. I told them I didnt know how many I’d taken. I just lied lied lied lied lied. I didnt tell anybody why I did it.
aTLEAST Until they couldnt send me away anymore.
So here are fourteen reasons why I wanted to kill myself
14. I felt like I’d do it sooner or later.
I mean it was really weird. I’ve had depression for most of my earlier childhood. I remember not thinking I’d make it to 20. But here I am. I remember wanting to get married and have children but I didn’t actually think I would live long enough to actually do it. I mean I didn’t think I’d finish High School.
13. I wasn’t beautiful.
At least I didn’t think I was. I thought pretty girls were 100 pounds, blonde and didn’t have to worry about anything except which husband they wanted. I guess I was sort of insecure. But not in the sense that I thought I was ugly. Just in the sense that I wasnt beautiful.
12. I was starving myself.
Well I don’t really remember this part. I just remember I was really really hungry. The doctors there said I hadn’t eaten for a month. But Im not sure that’s accurate. I mean I must have eaten at some point. I remember I drank tea. But anyway. I guess i was displaying “Anorexic tenancies” or whatever I was half asleep I didn’t listen.
11. I wanted to die. (duh)
But it wasn’t in the sense of me actually wanting to die. I mean when you’re young you learn about the circle of life, you watch ‘Lion King.’ Mufasa dies and you learn you wont be around for ever. I guess I just ’ wanted to hurry up and do what I was supposed to.
10. At the time, my life sucked dick.
I remember it. I was horribly depressed and doing my best to hide it. I remember I wanted nothing more than to just be held like a baby and told everything was going to be alright. But it wasn’t. There was a point in my life where I kept everything to myself. Everything. Even stupid shit like “Where do you want to eat?” or “Are you hungry?”. I just felt like I had to. Keep everyone safe, dont let anybody know you’re suffering sort of thing.
Anyway my life sucked dick, because I was always hungry never sleeping and I was overworked. I also was verbally abused at my job. To the point where I would want to cry whenever I walked in the store. But more on that some other time.
I also hated T or C. If Im going back there. Im going back in a body bag.
My Home life also sucked dick. I remember not having hotwater in the bathroom. I remember being cold every night because they refused to pay more money to turn up the thermostat. If I wasnt cold. I was so Hot. There were ants everywhere. On my clothes. In the kitchen. EVERYWHERE. I wasnt allowed to leave my house either. I couldnt just get up and go I wasnt allowed to leave except for school and work. I couldnt leave and it drove me fucking mad. I didnt have much food to eat, If there was food it was all gobbled up by my fat ass Grandfather who liked to steal my things. I still dont know what he did with most of it. The dryer didnt work either so I’d have to go to school in wet clothes that were freezing. I hated it. Oh and not to mention every morning I’d wake up to screaming. Always screaming. Nobody could ever say “Good Morning Rose, you’ve to wake up now.” No. They were too busy screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming,
9. I was so tired of everything.
I was. Really. I still kind of am. Im tired of having to work all the time and having no money. I was tired of waking up every day and going to a school. I feel like I would have liked school better if I didnt have to wake up early and put up with all of that bullshit.
The bullshit I am tired of here has literally went from 95% to maybe about 15% Professors are honest with me, My coworkers all do their jobs and I dont get in trouble if they don’t. Really Imagine, getting in trouble because one of your coworkers didnt do their job right.
The only bullshit I have to deal with is making sure I have enough hours. Which if you ask me isnt a biggie, also I make enough to take care of myself. Which is a lot better than where I was before.
8. I was going insane.
Now I know what you’re thinking “Omg, yeah sure whatever Rose. Everybody on Facebook likes to pretend they’re crazy for attention, Change your picture to Joker and Harley just to add edginess.
But no. It was stuff I dont want to dicuss with you. I had horrible dreams and I wanted to do some horrible things. In a way, I honestly thought if I killed myself I would save everyone. I still dont remember what I wanted to save them from.
7. I didnt have any friends.
Now again I know what you’re thinking, “This bitch is tripping. She won Homecoming Duchess and Princess at the last dance!” ( Side Note: I also went on to win Prom Queen. But Everybody voted for me because I wasn’t allowed to run for homecoming queen because I tried to kill myself in the Bathroom.)
I didnt have a Best friend. I didnt have somebody who hung out with me or came to my house specifically to play with me. I worked too much or somebody who ate lunch with me because they wanted to and not because I’d integrated into their little group because one of the members felt sorry for me and wanted to be my friend again.
I knew a lot of people. But I was fiery, Passionate and emotional. People were afraid of that. Either that, or they didnt care enough to try and understand it.
6. I was suffering from an unDiagnosed Mental illness
It was Borderline Personality Disorder. It was making me crazy.
I still dont understand what it means.
I know it means.
But I dont understand it.
5. I missed my Daddy.
There. I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT.
In my family, I was supposed to pretend he didnt exist. We all were. We didnt have Dads. We were just born. You know i didnt accept my Step Dad until My Dad stopped coming to see me. But what does that matter? I mean I wasNT A BOY. HE DIDNT FUCKING WANT A GIRL. HE PROBABLY HAS 80 BILLION FUCKING DAUGHTERS! HE DOESNT NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!
But how am I going to forget the man who hated it when I cried? The man who bought me all of these presents because he knew he was never going to see me ever again. The man who bought me my first Barbie Car, my Hamtaro doll and my pretty Amethyst Birth Stone Barbie. All because he fucking knew he was never going to see me again.
I havent seen him since I was two. But I remember waking up in my hospital bed with Leslie telling him he had to talk to me because the doctors said they didnt know if I’d make it. I heard my auntie tell him in spanish and then he said “I dont talk to anyone who isnt blood.” and I wished I would have died again and again and again.
4. I wasnt afraid to die.
I mean honestly who is? Im Catholic now. I understand its the circle of life. Ive seen Lion King. But I honestly wasnt afraid to die.
Here’s my philosphy on Religion and Death and everything
If you’re a buddist and you die. You go do Buddist stuff. Buddist heaven, Buddist Hell.
If you’re Jewish and you die. You go to Jewish Heaven because there isnt a hell.
I know in church they tell you not to believe in other gods. But God mentions in the Holy Bible several times. So Meh.
But I wasnt afraid to die. Im pretty sure my life had been clean and the only sins I really had were Hating my parents and Premarital sex. God wouldnt send me to hell for that. So I thought I’d go to heaven and party with Kurt Cobain
Because when a kid with Cancer dies, God doesnt send them to hell for dying of Cancer. So why would he send me to hell for succumbing to my depression?
I mean atleast even if He was the God I think he is.
3. By this point I was honestly sure nobody cared.
The English teacher who carried me to the ambulance cared. I’m sure of that.
But I mean nobody cared. I remember coming home to no food in the refrigerator and thinking “Oh well they’re making it easier for me now.” I remember nobody ever asking how I was. I remember feeling numb I remember waking up that morning and deciding I was going to give life one last Chance. I’d missed the bus that morning and I had to call my Grandmère to give me a ride to school because My Mother wouldnt teach me how to drive because she didnt want me to run off with my boyfriend and be happy.
Because I guess bragging rights about your kids going to college are more important than your kids actually being happy. I’ll remember that when I have kids. If I live to have kids at least.
Anyway I remember forgetting to take the pills out of my backpack. Im sure there’s an alternate universe somewhere where I did take them out of my backpack and I just went home early that day instead of killing myself in the bathroom. But hey what about the alternate universe where Hitler cured Cancer?
Nobody cared. Thats the point. Obviously if nobody noticed I was starving myself. If nobody noticed any of the signs that I displayed.
But of course they all showed up to the hospital and cried crocodile tears. Then they yelled at me again as soon as I woke up.
2. My life was over.
“But you were accepted into NMSU! You were graduating Highschool! You had your whole life ahead of you!!!”
Did anybody ever think for just a second that I didnt want any of that? Honestly! Everybody was so proud. Nobody stopped and asked me if thats what I wanted to do. Because it sure as hell wasnt. I didnt want to go to college. Twelve fucking years of a system that made me kill myself in the Bathroom and you wanted me to do eight more years?! I wanted to get married and have babies. But I had to. You understand. I had to. I couldnt be like my sister. I couldnt stay in Highschool forever. I had to go to school because Men are useless now and I couldnt just get married out of highschool because as soon as they leave you’re going to need to take care of yourself! But I didnt want that. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids.
1. Chance left.
Honestly this was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could see it coming though. Yeah, I made fake accounts to try and talk to him. Yeah I was a thirsty hoe (Symptom of BPD btw). Yeah I kind of texted him until right before I did it. I mean I was 18 of course I was obsessed. He cared. He would kiss me goodnight, He would try to get me to eat but I never would. I wanted to be pretty for him. I wanted him to love me. He did for a moment. You know love is like a drug, A drug that makes you happy every day of your life. Even if all you do is fight. Maybe its because I’d never loved anybody before him. Not even my Mother. When I lost that happy bubbly warmth. I wanted it back. I was so desperate to get it back. I didnt notice. I didnt notice all the terrible things that happened. I looked over all of the mean words, and abusive flags. None of those mattered, as long as I got that feeling of being warm, loved, safe, and protected. Because it made me want to live. If I couldnt live. I wanted to die. I wanted to die and be with that feeling forever.
Maybe things would have changed if I had realize what a fucking scum bag he was earlier.
Am I still Suicidal? Yes.
You cant turn it on/off contrary to the belief of everyone around me. I’ve been suicidal since I was a little girl. But will I do it again? I cant promise I wont.
Fourteen Reasons why I want to live.
14. I’m happy now.
I dont know if I could consider this as happy as I want to be, I mean Im still single. I have no children. But I’m happy. I dont have all the money in the world but I can go get Starbucks. I can go out and eat If I want to and that makes me so happy. It makes me so happy to have access to food.
13. I love my apartment.
I love my apartment. I love everything about it. I do. Except the rent payment lol. I love that I can literally do whatever I want in this little one bedroom place. I love it. I love keeping it clean, I love putting up whatever I want on the walls and I love love love it so much. Im so warm and happy and there is always food here.
12. I love where I live.
I love my town. Its big, its bright and i can get whatever I need to. I can go to walmart again whenever I want and I dont have to beg anybody to take me through the drive through or pay anybody to take me to the mall. I can go see movies and see the world. I love the world. I love the grass and the trees and the warmth of the sun. I can sit on my porch for hours, I can watch the rain, I can go outside. I CAN GO OUTSIDE!!!!
11. I love being free. My freedom is my most precious possession, I don't want to die if I can be free.
10. I don't want to die until I find that person. My whole life I've been told There's a soul mate for everyone. When I think about suicide. I think about being dead, in a way, Death was freedom for me. But part of me doesn't want to leave that person alone. I can't. If He was made for me . Then he's like ME and if he is then I don't want to leave him alone.
9. I have food.
I know what you’re thinking “Whatever, I have a frozen Dinner in the fridge. Does that make me not suicidal?”
I have food to eat. Like I do. I dont have to scrounge around my house for a packet of Ramen or hiding a can of soup under my bed and praying it would be there when I woke up. I can wake up and eat whatever I want. I can make dinner and sometimes I just stare at all of the food in my refrigerator and smile.
Side note, It’s now May 12th, school is over. Im trying really hard to finish this. It’s triggering. Like, Hannah Baker, Everything she does. I can see myself in her. I could deal with the books. I could deal with the books because I had borrowed my friend’s book and typed the alternate ending and stuck it in my book. I visualized it in my own way. Now seeing it. It’s triggering. Did anybody notice? Did anybody try to?
What about when I did it? Did anybody think? Did anybody try and look after me. I mean nobody noticed me stop eating so I doubt anybody noticed me writing wills in my psychology class, or me writing my suicide note over and over again.
The final draft only had a few words by the way and nobody read it.
They didnt even read the instructions I left for them incase I survived and had to go to the hospital which is why I had to wear the same clothes I wore when i did it. Which absolutely sucked. But i was glad I was getting out of the mental hospital, so there’s that.
I still dont understand why shit like this cant happen in real life. I dont understand how people can make people suffer so much emotionally that they think suicide is the only answer.
This is really hard to write. I have to think of reasons I want to live instead of reasons I want to die. That’s hard. I want to die. Im so sick of this. But I dont want to die. I want to live.
In a sense, I really feel like Hannah Baker. Because She wanted to live, she wanted life and happiness but she just dies at the end. I wonder if that will happen to me?
I’ve had people ask me if Im sure I should even be watching a show like this. But I have to. I have to finish it.
I read the book I know what happens. But I have to finish it for myself.
8. Kingdom Hearts III will come out (Eventually)
I have found joy in video games once again. I mean. Ive always loved video games. But I was playing South Park Stick of Truth again and I liked it. I liked it a lot and I wanted to... I wanted to play it so much.
I’m sure they have video games in heaven but i wonder do they have midnight release parties? Do they have endings that arent perfect?
Im sure they do. But being alive for them is different.
Eventually though. Kingdom Hearts III will come out. Eventually. Ill get to play it. Maybe Ill get to play it with my grandchildren and teach them about Sora, and Kairi, and Riku.
7. I want to be a Mother.
Thats all I’ve ever wanted in life. Really. I just want to hold my baby and raise her/him. I dont want them to have to come home and wonder if there’s food to eat, or if the house is going to be warm or when Mom is going to come home.
I want to have children and teach them and give them love and warmth and make them safe and give them everything I never had in life. Like love, and chances. Chances to make something of themselves in a way I never could.
6. I want to live to be an annual passholder at Disney
I mean I’ve been to Disneyland Nineteen times and this summer it will be 20. But I want to be able to wake up one day, have the day off from work and ask my kids if they want to go to Disneyland instead of school. I want to go there and have a great time and not have to worry about school or work or depression or anything.
5. I really want to do my bucket list.
I mean there’s lots of cool stuff on it. But I’m sure they have most of that in heaven. But I want to do it before I die. Like I want to visit Euro Disney in person and hang out in France. I want to walk up and realize I’m going to see the Little Mermaid on Broadway tonight. I want to be able to tell everybody about what I’ve done and inspire them to do the same thing.
(Update: It’s June now. I have to finish it. I had to stop. It was getting bad again. Really bad. I’m ready now. I really am.)
4. I want to get married.
Honestly thats been my life goal since I was a baby. That and being a ballerina but appertanly my dreams dont matter enough for us to stay in a place I could actually achieve them. I want to have a big fancy wedding which will probably dumb down to me getting married at the court house which I am totally fine with. As long as I am officially married and we honeymoon at Disney.
Jesus Chirst I cant do this. I really cant. I fucking cant. . . Why? WHY am I here? Why did I live? It’s fucking impossible did you know that? Am I still alive? Am I dead? I wont fucking know! I’m so much happier now! I really am. But I cant do this. I fucking cant. Why? Why am I alive? Why did I live? SO I could pay bills for the rest of my life? I hate being broke. I hate not having any money. I spent 20 dollars today to go out to lunch and that was a luxury. I couldnt afford that. Especially with all these bills. Why? Why is it so expensive to live in a 3rd world country with Iphones? Why? I dont have a car I have to ride the bus everywhere and spend a billion dollars on fucking everything. WHY? Why? I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate having to be mad at myself for going to the mall and spening 11 dollars. ELEVEN FUCKING DOLLARS! I bought a keychain today. I bought a keychain today and I wasnt supposed to do that! I love my apartment, I love it, I wont leave it unless I’m in a body bag or leaving with my husband, But i dont understand WHY?! Why? Why do they want everything I have? Everybody just wants money. Everything is just money money money money, do I Have enough? WIll it last? Will I be able to do something with it? Why do you want all of my money? I can barley afford to live and everybody wants to make it fucking harder than it already is!!!!!!!!!! I cant do this. I really want to die. But i really want to live. I really want to live. But i cant live.
3. I want friends. . .
I want best friends. I want the kind of friends where you all can just hang out together and do stupid shit. I want inside joke kind of friends, I want the sort of friends that make fun of you but you know they dont mean it. I want a specific place for us to hang out and laugh and live.
2. I want to be infinite.
I dont mean immortal. I mean I want to do things. I want freedom. People have freedom given to them while others have to fight for it. I want to take a roadtrip. I want to eat at gas stations with somebody and travel and see the world. I’ve always wanted to see the world but i’ve been locked up in this FUCKING TOWER for so long and now i’m afraid to get out of it. I am afraid to live because I’ve never been able to live before! Why are people born free when I could not leave my house to get the mail?
1. I want to experience love.
I have never loved anybody. For a moment, I thought I loved Chance. But I realized, you cant love somebody who has never loved you. So i didnt love my Mother, or My sisters and brothers or my grandparents. That wasnt love. It was forced affection. Because when you love somebody you make sure they’re in the car before driving away and asking if they are. If you love someone you dont kick them out of your car. If you love somebody you offer to take them home instead of letting them sit in 32 degrees watching their spit freeze, while you let your family treat them like shit just like you did.
But I want to experience love. All kinds of love. I want to know why people like it so much and why the feeling is so euphoric. I want to be held and treated like I am a treasure. Like I am worth something.
Is that love? I will find out one day. I want this. Even if its the only thing I will have. I want it.
~
I’m on the second to last episode now,
I wonder if the author wanted us to feel bad for people we’ve slut shamed. I wonder if we’re supposed to think about it that way.
I dont know about you but I hate fake people who pretend they’ve killed themselves. I mean I know its a cry for help. But I wish they would go and talk to somebody instead of insisting they sliced their wrists 80 times and got sent to the ER even though their wrists are scarless and havent look liked they were cut ever.
My therapist once sent me to the ER because I told her I was feeling suicidial.
I thought that was utter bullshit.
Because all I had learned to do was lie.
Why are you suicidal honey? *Sniff* My greAT Gran died and I miss her so much and I wish I could talk to her and hug her. Oh baby it’s gonna be okay, Derek she’s not suicidal get her out of here.
See? Then at my next therapy session I had to lie to her and tell her I wasnt suicidal. Which was another lie.
Anybody who has ever asked me about my Great Grandma Elisa knows I hated going to her house and I didnt like her. I’ve never liked her. She was so mean to me. She really was.
But i cant say I cried crocodile tears at her funeral. Or when They woke me up and told me she wasnt breathing and I knew she was dead, and I cried in my sleep. Something I didnt do, and didnt start doing until it was getting really bad again.
Isnt that funny though? How i learned to just lie to everybody instead of telling the truth?
~
I’m on the last episode now.
I cant make you believe how many times I had to stop this and step away for a moment.
It was honestly too realistic.
Like just the things she said
“I decided to give life one more chance.”
I remember thinking the exact same thing.
and watching it blow it.
Thats always how my emotions have been.
Hannah is stealing razors now.
I remember the day I bought the sleeping pills specifically to kill myself.
I didnt tell my Mom that. I told her I was having trouble sleeping which was true.
I remember telling kids I thought I was taking too much.
I remember pouring handfuls into my own hand and just staring at them. I thought they were really pretty.
I remember sleeping in class because I’d take too many on purpose.
I remember hanging up on 911
I remember calling my ex boyfriend.
I wondered what would happen if he would have answered. I really do.
Probably nothing,
I still would have done it.
I remember swallowing handful after handful.
I remember being carried to the office and hearing your voice in my head.
I remember dying and being at peace.
I remember waking up and screaming and crying.
Because honestly. Suicide doesnt hurt. No. aside from me not being able to eat for a couple weeks without throwing up, or choking up tablets everytime I tried to take a pill.
What hurt was waiting. I waited for life to get better.
It didn’t.
Hannah baker is going to slit her wrists,
I’m mad. This isnt the way it happened in the books. She swallowed pills.
ItsnotrealRosemaryitsnotrealItsnotevenhowithappendinthebooks
This is triggering.
I reserve the right to skip this part.
I cant breathe.
Okay, Okay.
I dont fucking get why people say this show glorifies suicide. We are literally watching a girl die. The worst part is this is how actual people have done it. Oh my god. Oh my god there’s so much blood.
Her parents, Oh my god. Okay that was so fake.
American Horror story did a better job.
Which is probably why it kept me from killing myself. I watched Violet do it and it scared me. It scared me so I didnt do it.
You know when I first read the books I guess I was really confused because I thought Mr Porter raped Hannah. I was like in 8th grade.
Okay so Hannah Baker is still dead. The episode is over.
How are they going to do season 2?
I mean Tyler is Obviously going to shoot up the school and Alex tried to off himself. It’s Obvious Alex isnt going to die. It’s Obvious Tyler isnt going to kill him.
~
I liked watching this.
I mean aside from it taking me two months to finish because, well it kind of was triggering.
Side note:
I am not contemplating suicide please do not message me or call the cops.
Also for anybody who is.
National Suicide Prevention LifelineCall
1-800-273-8255
#13 reasons why#rw Fabulous#Rosekun25 13rw Suicide notFabulous#SaySomething ClayxHannnah 13RW Savealife
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Answers
so i was asked to answer all of these so here i gooooooo!!!!~… kms… ;u;
— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
uhhhhmmm i dont really hold hands cause i over heat and the get clammy easily, so the last person i “held hands”/ linked arms with was actually at Anime Boston with this rad dude Jay, we were cosplaying Keith and Lance from Voltron. it was a good day, but we were tired as fuck.
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
kinda both depends on the situation and who im around tbh
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
in general or like famous??? uhhhmmm, if we’re going in general tbh me rad ass mate Jay cause why wouldnt I be looking forward to seeing this kid??? hes literally the best thing or person to see ever, duh! and if were going famous??? uhhhmmm music wise either Panic! At The Disco, TOP, orrrrr maybe a tie between some one from the Hamilton, or Heahters musicals.
4. Are you easy to get along with?
again depends on the situation and people. over all id say yeah in some way.
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
uhmmm idk because we’d both probably be shit faced and tumbling over each other screaming, incoherently and laughing our asses off. While simultaneously getting into 20 different fights over cheese, bread, and cats. Then crying about video games and anime. probably in the midst of this we’d be laughing and patting each other’s back telling each other how good of a bro the other is an how we’re gonna take over the world by the sheer brute force of dogs and cats
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
uhhhhmmm i dont really have a type but there’s a guy i like alot whos my dream guy tbh, and to me hes perfect in alot and pretty much every single way. ºuº
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
probably not but its nice to hope and dream c:
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
either rn my friend Casey cause shes in spain this week for vacation or my childhood bestfriend Liz cause her birthday just pasted on april 7th and i havent seen her in years.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
depends on who im with and what exactly kinda stuff were talking about. but im always awkard af with everything so im always uncomftorble.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
mi boi Jay!!~ we tend to get into deep conversation alot. i enjoy it alot tbh hahaha.
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
(when i got to this quesion)
WE WILL BE TRASH GODS!!!~
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
UHMMM pass cause honestly the whole entirety of Heathers and Hamilton pretty much.
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
OMFG HELL YEAH I DO!!!!!!!~
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
yeah man thats always been something i believe in because i have the most terrible luck but i like to believe miracles have happened in my life.
15. What good thing happened this summer?
i started the change in my social life and i got a really rad friend through the beginning phase of it!
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
uhmmm ive only done pecks cause im fucking looser so that was Jay, so hell yeah i would man hahaha! (hes got a kissable face its nice alright, i swear im not this fucking awkward XD) ((and bro i know youll end up reading this. i love ya man!! i hope this isnt too bad lol~))
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
fuck yeah i do bro. i wanna befriend at least one of them tbh.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
not really cause the kid left after 5th grade and i never saw him again,
19. Do you like bubble baths?
fuck yes.
20. Do you like your neighbors?
i dont really talk to them haha.
21. What are you bad habits?
i have alot, talking to much and fighting HARD during a fight, and having the worst timing for smart ass comments, and trying to change things i cant change too much. theres more but thats a good few.
22. Where would you like to travel?
everywhere and anywhere tbh
23. Do you have trust issues?
a bit ive more developed them because of shitty people
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
either shower or the part where i come home and either draw, eat, play video games, get to text my boi, or where i get to sleep.
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
my nose, the corners of my mouth or my big toes.
26. What do you do when you wake up?
text my friend good morning or get up and play with my mouse for a few minutes
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
i enjoy my skin tone but i wish i could tan ith out burning although, ive always wanted to either be albino or see what its like to be darker.
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
either Jay, or my friend Casey
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
nope because i dont talk to them XD
30. Do you ever want to get married?
at some point maybe haha
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
almost but the sides and some of my bangs are just a teeny bit off from making it :u:
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
uhmm not really any tbh theyre all to much older than me
33. Spell your name with your chin.
alyxx/ nyxx
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
ew no but i like swimming and to go on walks for fun
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
thats hard cause i need both for background noise
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
not really, i dont think so
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
something really stupid and half the time really provocative
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
ahhhh hahaha well i dont really know because the guy im crushing on is my dream guy js. and if i were to try and describe him id butcher the amazing and astounding beauty of the real person to be honest
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
ahhhh idk, lush?? and anything with food tbh
40. What do you want to do after high school?
die, or move to salem WITCHever comes first -u0 lol (bad pun i know i know)
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
i belive in ALOT of chances tbh
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
either im tired, extremely sad/depressed, overthinking/ thinking, focusing, thinking how to reply something or im REALLY fucking pissed off at you for something.
43. Do you smile at strangers?
REALLY FUCKING AWKWARDLY AND IN REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD SITUATIONS
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
UHHHHHH BOTH!!!!!~ TF?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
THE INPENDING FEAR AND DOOM OF CRIPPLING ANXIETY IF I MISS THE BUS OR if im hanging out wiht someone that day the motivation of not being alone in my room with myself for the whole day or so hahaha, or a con/ meet up which applies to friends.
46. What are you paranoid about?
AAAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION???? fucking everything…
47. Have you ever been high?
yes
48. Have you ever been drunk?
buzzed not drunk
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
uhhh i dont think so im not really very secretive. maybe like PERSONAL shit but no
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
Grey
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
a few times
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
uhmmm either eye color and nose Physically.and personality wise i wish i wasnt so stubborn tbh.
53. Favourite makeup brand?
lush is the closest thing to makeup i use hunny
54. Favourite store?
lush
55. Favourite blog?
@thedevilandhisfiddleofgold c;
56. Favourite colour?
Blue
57. Favourite food?
uhmmm theres too many to list, all?? except spicy
58. Last thing you ate?
a cracker with nutella on it
59. First thing you ate this morning?
a cinnamon powdered sugar doughnut
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
nope
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
Suspending, accused of stealing shitty locker wallpaper panels. THAT I ACCTUALLY FUCKING HADNT ;U;
62. Been arrested? For what?
nope
63. Ever been in love?
YES ;-;
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
never fucking had one kiddies sorry no story time for this one
65. Are you hungry right now?
kinda i want chips
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
uhm my only tumblr friends are friends in real life so not really because how do you like someone more on tumblr than you like them in real life??? not like its impossible its just odd.
67. Facebook or Twitter?
neither tbh, i only use my facebook for my work schedule
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
TUMBLR
69. Are you watching tv right now?
yes i started 13 reasons why
70. Names of your bestfriends?
jay, casey, liz (ranked most to least interaction and tbh who ive talked to most recently, those other two loosers never text me)
71. Craving something? What?
chips, cookies, FOOD, and love, BUT MOSTLY FOOD RN
72. What colour are your towels?
we have mostly white and black towels but theyre all just multicolored
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
(im also counting my stuffed animals as pillows)
at least 11 tbh
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
(refer to last question)
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
9
75. Favourite animal?
wolf, fox, raven, snowleopard, cat, snake (i cant choose)
76. What colour is your underwear?
black like my soul bitch
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
birthday cake or cotton candy/ bubblegum
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
black
80. What colour pants?
dark grey
81. Favourite tv show?
uhmmmm Voltron or steven universe
82. Favourite movie?
heathers and the crow
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
Mean Girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
havent seen the second one (refer to previous question)
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
the lebanese chick and the gay guy that were friends with lindsay lohan’s character
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
thats a hard question cause i love them all ;-;
87. First person you talked to today?
Jay (and caiden???) i sent a message to a group chat right after i woke up, i was pointed at Jay but theyre both in that chat
88. Last person you talked to today?
same chat
89. Name a person you hate?
ahha ahhahaha hahahaha, mmmmm theres alot
90. Name a person you love?
Jay, Casey, my pets
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
better question… is there not????
92. In a fight with someone?
i dont think so but im aboutabe casue they wont give me times on if theyre coming tomorrow or not ;-;
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
2 and a pair of sweat pants i made into shorts
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
hehehe at least 6 or 7. tbh my attack on titan one has been issing for a while and it makes me sad
95. Last movie you watched?
heathers, im not saying the technical last one cause it was gross as fuck and doe not count as a movie to me
96. Favourite actress?
ehhh hellena bonham carter
97. Favourite actor?
johnny depp
98. Do you tan a lot?
not really cause i burn and im afraid of getting skin cancer
99. Have any pets?
2 guinea PIGS and a mouse
100. How are you feeling?
alright kinda missing my friends and also kind anxious
101. Do you type fast?
depends on my mood, what im typing on, and about
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
so.. many… things…
103. Can you spell well?
fairly decently i think, average nothing over the top but i try haha
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
ehhh Liz and my friend Julia from Germany she was cool.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
nope
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
there was a girl named shannon who was all over me and head over heels for me, she mightve been a taurus. she tried to use some serious mental shit to try and get me to stay. i told her to seek professional help and not me.
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
nope
108. What should you be doing?
a 10 page paper and finishing final fantasy, and getting more loot boxes in overwatch
109. Is something irritating you right now?
not really knowing what to do with my senior paper, shop friends, being alone, and not having enough hours in the day and always being fucking tired.
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
yes, i do right now, tbh, but its cool
111. Do you have trust issues?
this was already asked. slightly it depends on the person
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
no one, mentally and close to physiccally jay and caiden, but im always mentally crying. i dont physically cry if i do youre special, im not that soft.
113. What was your childhood nickname?
Ash
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
i was born in pittsburgh, pa. i lived in townsend, ma and i just recently moved to pepperrel, ma.
115. Do you play the Wii?
not any more
116. Are you listening to music right now?
not really
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
yes
118. Do you like Chinese food?
YAS
119. Favourite book?
how to make the perfect boy?? (its something like that) i also really enjoyed mrs. perigrines home for peculiar children.
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
im afraid of what might be in it
121. Are you mean?
i can be
122. Is cheating ever okay?
ew not wtf
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
probably not
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
kinda but only to an extent
125. Do you believe in true love?
again kinda but only to an extent tbh
126. Are you currently bored?
a bit
127. What makes you happy?
chilling with jay, playing wiht my animal or sleeping
128. Would you change your name?
i want to, im trying to get Alyxx as my name hahah but i have a genius way to keep ASH
129. What your zodiac sign?
GEMINI BIATCH!!!!~
130. Do you like subway?
yeah its alright
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
uhhhh hahah i already dated my childhood bestfriend. Liz was chill but id kindly turn her down
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
already answered this up top, but Jay
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
hmmmm i have too many tbh, id love to put one here but i cant think of a good one atm sorry my dudes
134. Can you count to one million?
maybe but im to lazy to fam
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
hahaha ive told too many to put those down
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
CLOSED OMFG NO #TRIGGERED
137. How tall are you?
5′5.25″ ( THAT QUARTER IS IMPORTANT ;u;, believe it or not i had=ve alot of friends that are taller than me)
138. Curly or Straight hair?
wavy-ish
139. Brunette or Blonde?
i myself am a “brunette”
140. Summer or Winter?
kinda both
141. Night or Day?
ehh more night but i enjoy both
142. Favourite month?
either, October, November, December, and i actually am not a fan of my birth month may haha
143. Are you a vegetarian?
nope but ive thought about becoming one to cleanse and to get in better shape kinda reasons
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
milk and white
145. Tea or Coffee?
both
146. Was today a good day?
ehhh kinda
147. Mars or Snickers?
snickers but i wanna try a mars bar
148. What’s your favourite quote?
hahah either
“ another fucking heather! -sighs- Our love is god let’s go get a slushie!”
-JD “Heathers”
( i relate most to the heather part tbh)
“ill hook ‘em…” “..and ill cook ‘em!”
-Roadhog and Junkrat “Overwatch”
( YEAH I KNOW IM TRASH BUT ITS A PRECIOUS QUOTE BETWEEN TO REALLY GOOD BEST MATES OKAY!!!??)
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
WHOLE HEARTEDLY, IVE SEEN THEM, IVE FELT THEM, IVE HEARD THEM, TALKED TO THEM, I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THEY ARE KINDA SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING BUT I LOVE THEM!
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“WOW MAGNUS, you’re probably thinking. That was… stupid!”
Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard
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THE “CJ SITUATION”
I really wanted to forget Cj, I did. But they’re taking it to an entire new level. Hi, Im Alice, aka Verysleepygal. Now most of you know the Cj Situation, others don’t. Cj is: An artist who has great talent! But a bad person hating mark. Trust me, I like their art! But they keep doing horrible things since they decided to leave the community. Now, I want to make a post to inform you all on the situation. After I finish the photos, I’ll explain a few things about them. The first will be twitter, then I will make a line and it will be their tumblr post.
I forgot to put others replies, I apologize!
Let me stop for a moment and say: Cj. They may not be related to us, but we love them and always will. Even if they know we exist or not, we know they accept us for who we are and love us no matter what. And though you don’t like them for existing, we love them with our entire being.
But still, they changed literally in a second. And they’re right, they are VERY far from normal.
Cj was the person below
I can’t tell if people are trying to make the hacking thing real or messing with them
Cj um.....I’m sure it was an accident, they aren’t stupid ((neither are you, it’s just rude to call someone stupid))
The song sang “Laid back with my mind on the money in my mind” or something. This is honestly out of control. I don’t support Keemstar, and I dont support Cj. https://twitter.com/cartoonjunkie1/status/845690914865504256 <-- link to the video
Listen Cj, he has money because his videos or monetized or something. But he gives the money away to others who need it way more than he does. But I have no clue what you do for charity.
Cj!!! Listen....he does charity for people that dont have a home, food, clean water and other things. He’s a good person, trust me on this. He’s been doing livestreams for a long while, he doesn’t get a single pay/cut out of it.
^^^this one they deleted as I refreshed the page
==========================Tumblr Time==========================
Warning: Gore gifs and possibly a threat to an anon? Not sure if it would count as a threat!
Next one is VERY disturbing
Warning: Mention of Daniel Kyre. I miss him so very much.
Im not done just yet. As I scrolled through tumblr, I found THIS. Apparently they: called Daniel Kyre a selfish asshole. Why? Because his death caused a delay with a contest prize they won. Why did they win it? I have no clue. I think it was the ipod. Or something? Anywho, after they harassed Daniel, they started harassing Matt AND Ryan after Mark came about how he wasn’t nice to them. They followed blogs about dead animals and laughed at them all. And they even went against Jack & Mark’s wishes when they told them to stop drawing septiplier smut. They think homosexuality is wrong but oversexualizes it, it’s not alright and it’s quite confusing. They never apologized. Ever. But now it’s time for my words. They make loads of septiplier art....well, DID. Along with smut fanfiction and art, they had an entire twitter dedicated to septiplier porn art. They also used to love Mark and Jack, along with Amy and Signe plus others. They’re an artist, and person though turned a new leaf of hate and it’s being taken too far. I advise you to block and report their TWITTER (For Spam and/or abusive and harmful, then select post targeted at people and Mark) , TUMBLR (Just report This violates Tumblr's Community Guidelines and then not the middle option but either someone’s at risk or the content is gross/hateful) , INSTAGRAM((IT’S GONE)), and if you want, their YOUTUBE. Though don’t go on a hating spree like they did. I made this to update you all on the situation. Dont hate on them, it makes you the worse person than better. THIS POST explains it way better than I ever could.
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Your tag on the wonho pic with the cushions was bad even for you and you tagged 'soft' after that I can't believe it
im a soft stan.. uwu
HUge ask compilation under the cut yikes omg
twitter*com / arya940115 / status / 850724933906735104 WATCH THIS BUNNY!
[link] i can’t believe i have anons that call me “bunny” jkfsdghg this is?? matty’s impact. and I KNOW hyungwon rly died? it’s so interesting how wonho is so soft but he can also… kill a man… this is so h*t
sncksndnxinsjdcjcdknckksnsnxnkzndidh ive been on ur blog for an hr and a half now just reajdng ur tags and i jsut jdjdnkdjsjdk wrow what a long ass ride n also i cant believe u have a mh furry tag i thogit i was the only ome kskdnndksd
do u ever see someone and u can just… picture them in a fursuit…. that’s lmh…. anyway im sorry u wasted….. so much of ur precious time on my blog omg but thank u…….. also…. what’s ur minhyuk furry tag 👀👀👀 gotta flesh out my collection
u kno blogs that are marked nsfw dont show up in tags 👀 (hdhdfh thats probably not why ur posts dont show up but lol)
hgfjkfjfsh bye…. i know other blogs have this problem too and i think it might have smth to do w spam and whatnot, like not every post the fy blogs post show up either so it’s just… some tumblr thing i reckon? honestly i don’t think i’m that……….. nsfw am i…………
I aspired to b as funny as your tags are
my tags……. aren’t funny dghjkdf……………. my gf left me over how unfunny i am? i have a rly shitty sense of humour i laughed sm when minhyuk said wonho used to be a human faced fish like that was so fucking funny to me but ??? no1 else…. but thank u rly
twitter(.)com(/)OfficialMonstaX(/)status(/)849589491182338049 an ot7 photo where minhyuk isnt clinging to anyone!!!!!!
incredible…. i rmbr this….. i feel a bit like… empty inside this isn’t Right u kno jfksgdh…
You @ any pic: oh cool…wonder how lmh ties into this…..
ur not wrong… but i feel attacked rn fjhsgj idk lmh is just so fascinating to me!!!
you know abt vocal analysis?? i know a tumblr mx blog who did a few and was wondering if you could read them?
i haven’t heard abt this before but i just googled it and i think i get the Gist Of It… i’m interested! link me :3c i can’t promise i will be that insightful though!
Did you get my message about changkyun’s coughing? [i did sorry answering it now!!! jsghgf]
I’m kind of worried. Since like 3 months ago, Changkyun’s been coughing. And at first I thought it was nothing but it’s persistent and doesn’t seem to be getting better or going away. Coughing usually means something with the lungs or heart and I’m worried all the coughing effects his breathin. He’s my precious Lil baby and I may worry too much. But i hope he’s had it looked at cause coughing like that all the time can mess up the lungs pretty bad if untreated
yes me too :((( i’ve noticed this too and like…. in fact half of mx has been sick for this comeback and it just… makes me feel v :(((( u know. i do think changkyun’s the type to not let something get in the way of his ambitions and he would…. try to take care of himself? i hope he’s gotten it checked out too… it’s strange bc it’s not exactly a Persistent thing, like it’s just like he needs to clear his throat sometimes and it sounds v dry? :/// idk what that means but yeah hopefully it’ll… clear up soon… :
I think it’s because I’m too soft of a stan but I really started crying when wonho cried in that video what the fuck why would the hurt me like this. Also can we agree the rapping was a lil :/ hilarious but cute. PS. WHY WAS IT SO FUVKINH WHITE WASHED WHt
i just…. couldn’t take the crying seriously sjkfdhgf i felt embarrassed bc of how cheesy it was but ummmmm im still slowly unclenching my butt from that feeling minhyuk’s falsetto gave me. and yeah lmao the rap. lmao. also anon u sound v cute n sof;;
In one of your posts about wonho you said you “weep for you child who was bullied at school and grew up broken”, what do you mean, what happened? I didn’t know about this and I’m TT
omg anon sdfjkghfskj i wrote that tag complaining abt….. my flopping gifset kjsfdhg im sorry u misinterpreted dw i’m sure wonho never went through smth like that!
Jackson and minhyuk together in that gifset is 2 much who decided to put two extremely loud needy bisexuals together
“two extremely loud needy bisexuals” GBYE…. u ever see characterisation so accurate ur soul leaves ur body momentarily bc
What’s your opinion on the collar/neck tie not attached to the shirt thing that Wonho wore for their KBS Music Bank performance? I’m not sure how to feel about it.
personally i think it’s sexi? u could dress wonho in some bubble wrap and that would b sexi? tbh i rly like the…. sleazy rich dude costuming for this era;;;
nation’s demon child lee minhyuk… won’t somebody save our pure, productive youths from his clutches?
im dissociating fjgkjg
what are your favorite mx ships (or just like two-person dynamics/relationships) with minhyuk in them :>
showhyuk… wonhyuk… kihyuk…. hyunghyuk… joohyuk… and recently changhyuk wait fuck that’s all of th-
seriously tho… tell me if u want me to speak abt smth specific i think ive written extensively on like all of these before… just feel like minhyuk rly…. has v v v intimate relationships in general
Hey ^^“ new monbebe here~ and what exactly is no mercy? is before debut, right? And you know where we can download/watch it? tysm
jsdfhjgh u probably won’t see this anon but yes no mercy is the survival show that mx debuted from… you can watch it on 1thek’s channel. here’s the first ep and it should be pretty easy to find from there!
did you see on the radio that wonho said that he feels awkward around shownu and then the members were like that’s why they go to the gym cause they don’t talk.. shownu when he’s around wonho: :D wonho when he’s around shownu: :S
[diff anon] Recently on the radio wonho said he’s most awkward with shownu 😭💔😭 what are your thoughts? Also hyungnu talk before sleeping what do you think they talk about 👀👀👀
on showho… wonho has said b4 that shownu still feels kinda ?? apologetic towards him bc of the leader business so i feel like that is the potential strain in their relationship :/ but i doubt they’re genuinely awkward w each other like…. when ur constantly around someone for like 3+ years… i doubt any mx coupling is awkward now? but yeah it’s likely that shownu… kind-hearted son hyunwoo… feels residual weirdness abt being the leader when it was originally wonho’s role. re hyungnu PLEASE gjkfhds they’re so close they rly…………. they’ve been close since the beginning of time like hyungwon has a lil fanboy crush on shownu and shownu thinks hyungwon is beautiful and funny and they just……………… idk they must vibe together so well bc they’re both quiet + kind and they just………… seem to chill together a lot these days e.g. playing billiards !!!! aaa and um i feel like they would talk abt everything i can’t narrow it down?? probably like… discuss funny things that happened during the day and shownu tells a joke and hyungwon laughs for 5 minutes straight bc once he starts he doesn’t stop sgfhj
thsi is so stupid but u kno kihyun’s pose from beautiful where hes like,, turned away from the camera n a lil hunched over w/ his arms out i just,, just fuckin think of those grainy pics of bigfoot like i see kihyun n its like C R Y P T I D S P O T T E D
i hate this fgdjhfjk i feel like changkyun is a real cryptid btw (the part where he’s like…. sliding across???)?? anyway when will kihyun pop me via telepathy
Wonho gripping the straw of his coffee drink with his entire fist fkrkgkk why is he such a babie
feel like wonho was a lil bit spoilt/rolling in love as a kid and grew into this… manchild (not the annoying kind tho bc he’s also… v mature…) i love him sm….
Wow do u think minhyuk and kihyun are such good frens because they both love to act fake cute…..These Scorpio antics
YES!!!!! i think they’re v different kinds of fake-cute tho like, w kihyun it’s kind of…. nauseating when he does it on purpose like the way he plops down into chairs omg (gjhkfsdgk im sry) but w minhyuk it’s like he’s mastered how to b cute without being too much so that it leaks into his natural expression? but anyway when kihyun isn’t cute on purpose but is….. CUTE nonetheless… that’s when it Gets me u kno.
You aren’t the only one to notice how PD-nim cuts Wonho’s answers, and exploits his reactions. It’s not that I don’t love his precious self being exposed and tbh I gain life everytime Kiho laughs but the parts that sticks are the ones when he tries to pacify the situation. I think he steps back on variety but can show his true colors/raise his voice in NON-FORMAT programs(?) as RIGHT NOT/DEOKSPATCH/X-RAY. Plus it seems like he’s an audience type than the jokester one…
“show his true colors” jfskdhg yes on kinda.. external programs they don’t show much of him :(( and i think he’s just generally less comfortable speaking in those situations (even on radio shows he’s vvvv quiet…. and this era especially i feel like he’s been sort of Even More Quiet? but where there’s a production + filming team he’s working with that he starts to get familiar with mb he opens up more… anyway yes i agree he’s definitely someone who likes to observe what’s going on rather than directly contribute to the action in external variety/talk programs!
full offence but your tags give me life thank u
thank u?? thank U
my mom likes shownu because she thinks hes a: traditional, manly, well fit, and "expensive” looking man sunshwwjhsbe what but she looked at changkyun was like “who is this hunk” and said “he looks like the type to pay for 500$ meal” jsHWNHSJWYSHWH
(this is for when i asked who everyone’s mum’s fave member was fjkdhg) THAT’S RLY CUTE but im screaming changkyun is the furthest thing from a hunk (quote wonho: his life will b in danger if he doesn’t exercise) and he’d probably take u to his dim studio and feed u cup ramen on a date??? jkdfhgkj
I can’t believe Hyungwon gave us a hacker version of the Iconic Math lady meme on Amigo TV. I guess you could say he’s [hacker voice] ‘All In’.
THIS IS AWFUL jgsfhdjk……… i feel like hyungwon is rly transparent with his expressions like everything shows on his face?? like u can see the cogs whirring in his head when he’s thinking he’s rly so so s o pure :( lov him
damn, i.m
delete this?
“annals of time"
i forgot when i tagged this and in relation to what but jkfdsghjksdfjkkjdfhdskjhfkghkjsfjksgh
annie ….. what hav you done to me :// i’ve began talking like .. this ?? i call my bias raw fish now :(
i hate this fjkgdshsdnjkggf ???? ? i don’t want this either !!!!!!!!!! but my internet persona? ?? cant u see im tryign,,, so hardf.,,, ,all the goddamned time…,,,,,, who is ur bias who is raw fish gfjkdhg (also i only called wonho raw chicken ONCE let me livevnsjkfdhj)
i feel like out of all the weird shit one could possibly be into .. elbow slurping isnt rly too wild like theres so Much out there tht im not mad at it. jus. just go ahead. take a fucking slorp babes
gkjdfsnbvdsjkfghksjfdghfsjkdhgkkjfahskdskjfhksjhkfsjhfkjsfhkjsfdhsjkdfjksfhdjkshfjkshfnjksvjdfnvdfjkgsdfjkndfjgndfjkgndsjkgnskdljngdjkgjkdsgkjsnd
hyungwon is my grandpa who rants @ me for 2 hours abt how his grandchildren never visit and are too loud when they do and how kids these days are always talking about wigs and their dads and then handing me a pile of Werther’s Original™ hard candies before hobbling off to take a nap
why is this so…… detailed and…. accurate…..
Hey sorry to bother you, but do you know whens it’s going to be the first MX’s award show, and where can i watch it? I’m always lost when it’s about this kind of thing e.e Anyway , have a nice day :3
IM RLY SORRY JSFGHKJSFG i hope u found it….. im sry im…. i never answer things in time but;;;;;;;; yes it was on m countdown and u can watch it on the mwave website as well as the mnet youtube channel!
I jus screamed at the phrase "made from the same fursuit” I wanna die
i literally get half my gross terminology from katie?? she made me this way
what are your thoughts on all of the different wonho ships? 👀
i want to…. nest myself in all the warm bonds wonho has formed w every member but especially wonhyuk and wonkyun i think?
the new yang nam show pix made me start thinking what do u think mx wear as jammies fr?? 🤔 besides wonho who just. Lets it free. I feel like ck would b one of those ppl who wears full jammie sets tbqh
why does this sound like matty…. they talk abt their pj preference in that one fancam i can’t find rn sjfdhg but tbh all i took from it was…… wonho……. but yes definitely i think ck would like that…. wants 2 feel Complete and Covered and Neat…
hey!! about the choreo thing, i feel that tbh. i think because so much of fandom is focused on being mad positive all the time, it feels like you can’t notice anything that isn’t 'just so’, but honestly, i do wish their choreo came out better on screen :/ another thing, and i don’t blame them for it, but it helps to keep the lines themselves clean so that no matter what it’s all good angle wise? got7 has trouble w/ that too (everyone dances their own way instead of together, yfm)
yes…………………………. i agree and i just… feel like their choreo is so much Effort but it’s not exactly flashy for all that energy they exhaust as well??? nd yeah what i said abt camera angles… this time the selling point w the jacket choreo was a good touch tho imo but it still………….. isn’t………………. what it Could Be idk i just feel like everything could be flashier and that might help them trend more dance-wise bc rn like tbh i don’t rly know what monsta x is known for? alsoooo what u said abt fandom being mad positive all the time i feel that sm like especially in this fandom… ppl rly pedestal the boys sm and sometimes… idk… overpraise their music when tbqh…. there isn’t….. that much Unique abt it…..? :0
wonhontology (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158743886921 What a coincidence?!, seems like your scorpio boy has a vore kink and a nipple fixation… #AnWonHyuk
wonhontology tumblr com /post/158743886921 In the second one, isn’t Minhyuk trying to bite Wonho’s nipple? 0.0
[link] i can’t believe i didn’t see this gsjfdhg i love my vore kink nipple biter boy??? ***** *** *** **** ** **** ***** ***???????????????
lostinmonstax (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158736187961/ tummy-flash did you see that?
[link] um fuck he’s so toned gjskhdfjksdhfk
Hi I love you
i love u 17 days late??? fdskgkjg
somtimes i have a strong urge to call minhyuk my lizard man in my tags this is ur impact annie
i can’t believe ppl r finally beginning to see lmh for who he rly is….. my lizard brethren
the beautiful mv is already to 2 million views and i am weeping… also i am really digginghoseok’s new grey/silver/no-longer-blonde hair.
u can jus.t…. tel lhow old this ask is by its contents jkgfhdsjkgs im the worst im sry but aa… thinking abt… all the hope we had…. 3 weeks ago… makes me :’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’———-))))))))))
cant believe that thigh wrestling gif cut out the part where minhyuk almost reveals his lizard self after wonho smacks his ass hard enough to make him jump a little and break thru his human disguise but tries to stay casual. wongo resistant ass
the. ass slap changed my life btw…. a lil bit of Inner Lee Minhyuk leaked out hfjkgfsdjkhg also this ask is so…………………… im scremaing at every part of it like it rly gets better w every word
hey,,,,,I love this blog,,,,, thank u
i lov u???????????/ this is a terrible lbogblglbo?
ppl have been pointing out how ur url says wonho but ur avatar says minhyuk but i cant beleaf no one has pointed out that the lil moon on ur desktop blog theme says 'rly a changkyun stan but don’t tell any1’ i’m on2 ur secrets 👀
👀👀👀👀👀
STAN SHIN HOSOCK, since he allowed Wonho’s freedom!
??? im sorry what does this mean jkfgkj
#thIS ISNT ALL OF THem but the majority that have been building up jfdkhg im sorry#ill get around to everything... one day....#ask#compilation#Anonymous
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3:58am - 13/05/2020
i’m gonna try and tell the rest of the story, its now been 4 months and a day since last talking to him, this writing is stream of thought im not editing any of this fyi
the introduction to rowan was a messy night, I had just finished work and it was probably around midnight, i recall it being a cold night, i wasnt in the best of mood, as dan and i wrapped foh shutdown i noticed a new person in the discord, everyone was in vc, so i joined in, and asked who this new person was. after being teased for a few hours over being jealous of the new person i went to bed, i think i cried myself to sleep? i forget, but i remember it was cold, talking on discord driving home, not a fun night at all.
within the first month of rowan joining he quickly became close with felix, lots of flirting, suggesting things he wanted to do to the boy, and the boy asked for it, soaked up the attention, felix took pride in me being jealous, he fed off it, he’d ask if i was jealous of rowan, and he’d giggle while asking, i hated rowan, and rowan hated me.
a lot of shit happened, but i forget most of it, im gonna skip ahead to the day we met rowan, because its significant to me, and is the most i can remember anymore.
the day we where gonna meet rowan we planned on exploring an abandoned house, i really didnt wanna go, but felix needed someone to drive him, and i didnt want felix to go without me, i was scared id loose him otherwise, so i went along. i woke up that morning and immedietly had an anxiety attack, i felt like i was going to puke, i was trembling, i could barely tie my shoes, but i managed to get some water, got dressed, and made my way to pickup felix. outside of his house anxiety really hit me again, i thought i was gonna puke, or faint, and felix just sat in the passenger seat, asked if i was okay, and if i was ready to go, he didnt seem to actually care about me, but it was whatever. we met up with rowan, and he was... okay ngl he was kinda cute, tall, nice hair, well dressed, but i was too busy hating him for trying to take felix to actually crush on him, so... yea. we met up with chris and the rest of the discord group shortly after, drove around, couldnt go into the abandoned house because there where workers there, we drove to chris’s house, chris played video games, i just kinda sat there, trying to not cry, while rowan held felix in his arms like a baby, kissing in view of everyone, i hated rowan. finally we had to leave, felix had work, i dropped felix off at his house, then dropped rowan off at the bus station so he could get back to hamilton, i went to go see xander, and that was that day.
rowan increasingly felt the need to call me out that im not dating felix and got more and more protective and possessive of him, as it turns out, felix had been hiding rowan from me since september, i got more and more desperate for felix’s attention, i started self harming more frequently and more visibly, he didnt care, i started threatening suicide, i got to a point mentally where i thought it might be time to take myself to a hospital to stop myself from doing anything dumb, but my busy work schedule + not being able to just dissapear from home meant that was a complete non option.
more things happened, we made a seperate group chat for sending tasteful nudes of ourselves to; idk why, but i partook, i didnt enjoy anything anyone else sent, but i wanted attention and validation, so i partook. there was another night that was kinda meaningful, felix and i where gonna sleep over, but then felix invited chris over, and i didnt want chris to come over, but he came anyways, stayed for an hour or two, then had to go to work and was gonna come back after work, i ended up crying for over an hour once chris left, and had to leave myself, stayed at xanders house instead.
finally, we reached a point, the 20th of january, i was at felix’s house, and i was in a bad mood, i had a bad night the night before, and i had cut myself quite a bit compared to previous, felix was hiding his phone screen from me, nothing out of the ordinary, but i caught a glimse, i realized he was on my tumblr, then suddenly he grabbed me and looked at my scars, scolded me for cutting, then went back to his phone what looked like screen shotting my tumblr. see, i started my previous tumblr similar to this one, for venting, and i shared the link with felix for some stupid reason, but i started catering the phrasing of my posts to include the things i wanted felix to know about, and started omitting the things i didnt want him to know, i would purposely include things i wanted to linger in his mind, and at this point he was going back through them all, realizing what kind of things ive been saying/feeling; i looked at him, and asked if i should leave, he said no, but i did end up going home. that night he sat in voice with rowan, his ex, and chris, i didnt join i was too busy crying. next morning i came online, and noticed it was quiet, i messaged felix asking if he wanted to hang out later in the week, and he left me on delivered for hours. i texed him again that night around 9:30pm asking if we where okay, and got no reply. finally, i messaged chris, asking what was up with felix, and the response i got was that chris isnt supposed to tell me, but rowan and felix’s ex convinced felix im a bad person, and that im toxic, and bad for felix. i felt sick, i couldnt stop crying, i knew it’d come to this point, and i tried so hard to keep him, but he finally gave up on me, i went to xanders house and cried more, finally, at 11:32pm i messaged felix, i appologized for everything, i thanked him for being a decent person to me when nobody else would be and that was that.
I dont know how i feel about it, writing this out makes me feel numb, im not crying, im just shaking, i wanna hurt myself, i wanna get in my car and drive off to nowhere and fall asleep forever, i hate felix, hes a terrible shitty person who hurt me when i was vulnerable and in need, i feel taken advantage of, like i was just some toy to use and throw away, and he almost seems to enjoy my suffering, i cry about him every few days, look at the memories we made together, he was such an important part of my life, he was the best part of my life, the only thing i had to look forward to every week, honestly without him i dont even know if i’d be alive, and to him i was just some weird obsessed creepy trans girl.
i’ve texted him a few times since then, he’s never replied, i miss him a lot, but idk if i can take him back anymore without being scared of getting hurt again.
and i think thats the whole story of felix and i, i fucking loved him to death, and sometimes still do, but he treated me in ways that im not even sure are normal or not anymore, i want him back so badly, id do anything for him, but i hate him, he’s a terrible person who deserves to feel the loneliness ive gone through for almost 20 years
i guess the only addition is that i ended up kinda crushing on rowan for like a good month or two, idk why
its not 4:54am and i need to write down all the shit i wanna bring up in therapy because thats something i need to pay more attention to
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How can I check what is affecting my car insurance prices?
"How can I check what is affecting my car insurance prices?
Would there be a website to do this? I am struggling to see why my car insurance is so expensive. I've checked my insurance prices on gocompare.com, it's around 4,500, so I think it would help if I could find out why it was so.
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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""Can't get insured, what to do?""
In April 2008, my wife totaled out my Impala(at fault, fault of my wife). In Jan 2010, some lady totaled out my Saturn which was sitting in front of my house, we were inside the house at the time. I had full coverage, but the lady did not have anything. Of course my insurance went up. I am trying to get insured for a motorcycle that I want, but all I keep getting is that I am uninsurable. I personally have not had any at fault accidents. How can I get around this, Is there an easier way? I have to get full coverage 500 deductible and collision on this motorcycle. THIS SUCKS! HELP Please!""
""Insurance rates for a 1996 Ford Crown Victoria in Chattanooga, Tennessee?""
My next car, just need to know the insurance. Asking you guys might prevent me a whole lot of hassle and harassment from the insurance companies.""
Best public health insurance plan in nyc?
I've been traveling after college and won't go back to school for another year. I've been volunteering only and haven't worked for over a year. I don't qualify for ...show more
Do I need my own car insurance?
I just got my permit (i am 18) and I heard that as long as the person I am driving with has insurance that I will be covered if anything happens. I don't plan on wrecking a car but I want to be safe and I want to make sure that it is required by law that I have insurance. If i do need insurance I have no idea how to go about getting it because I have gotten quotes before and they will only give you a quote if you select that you currently have your license plus there is no option for only having a permit. I have my permit in the state of georgia if that means anything
Can my brother put me on his health insurance?
I have a illness. I started a new job and insurance won't kick in untill another three months. Can I be put on my brothers insurance? He has no children and he is not married. Plus he never uses it.
Car or Insurance first?
I'm 25 years old and just got my driver's license and was wondering if you get car insurance first then get your first car or if it's the other way around? ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Insurance for teenage mustang driver?
Ive made enough money from my jobs. I have enough to buy a newer mustang (definitely not the newest one but over the 2005 brand) with help from my parents and grandparents. They are all throwing in 2000 dollars for me. But anyways, some backround information, I'm a teenage girl, have taken the driving defensive class, drivers ed, and also get higher than a 3.0 grade average. Would insurance be very high still?""
Where can I find cheap car insurance for young driver's in Ireland?
I am an 18 year old guy,and I can't find any f****** reasonable motor insurance,because whether I'm 18 or 80 I'm not paying 3/4k a year for a 'in case' situation which is most likely never going to happen-i.e a crash.Because I only see driving as a form of driving,not as 'fun' or showing off.But I need to have a car to travel.""
What car insurance companies are in Washington? Can I get a list to look up?
I need to find the cheapest for myself. I am getting my license this Friday and I will be going to a car insurance company on my way home so that I can drive my car. Can I get a list of all the auto insurance companies in Washington?
Am i paying to much for car insurance?
my parents just got insurance for my first car it is a 1963 mercury comet i am 17 years old and my dad just told me the insurance for the car is $380 per month and that seems a little high what do you think? my other friend only pays $100 but he has a good student discount and has had insurance for a while.
How do you find a dentist who is affordable (no insurance)?
My fiance is in pain right now. We're college students and have no insurance and we're really not wanting to cal up dentists and say, How much for a filling? etc. Is there a way to pre-screen for reasonable rates without asking? I know there are probably sites that list/database a lot of local dentists but what about compettitive pricing? And that the websites are kept up-to-date? Thanks in advance - he's eating ibuprofen & pouring on the topical numbing stuff - not sure if I'm supposed to say brand names. Thx again =D""
How much would insurance on a gt mustang cost for a 17 yr old male?
How much would insurance on a gt mustang cost for a 17 yr old male?
Estimate of insurance cost?
How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old with a good record and grades driving a Jeep Wrangler or Cherokee Sport? I know prices differ but I'm just looking for a very rough estimate. Thanks!
The world of car insurance?
the idea that dropping the price of car insurance for men a small amount and increasing the female amount a huge hike has nothing to do with gender that's the con it's the absolute greed of government and big business hand in hand raking in a fortune as they did when changing the s p to the criminal decimal currency? the question is why do we Joe public put up with this crap
Is it OK for someone else to do car insurance for me?
Basically, will it be fine (in legal terms) for someone else, a friend - to make car insurance on my behalf because I might be busy?? really important!! (im sorry about the tedium of this question)""
Can I go on my boyfriends health insurance florida?
I am living with my boyfriend for a year can I go on his health insurance
How old to Sell Life and Health Insurance in Kansas?
Today I had an interview for Penn Life Insurance, and Im 17. He told me to join license2go so they could prepare me for my license test, and then to take my test. Well I was wondering if I had to be 18 to sell insurance? how would I approach him on this manner?""
How can I check what is affecting my car insurance prices?
Would there be a website to do this? I am struggling to see why my car insurance is so expensive. I've checked my insurance prices on gocompare.com, it's around 4,500, so I think it would help if I could find out why it was so.
Cheap car insurance?
what car made after like 93 would have tthe cheapest insurance?
How is the aca affordable? Recipients have a 12k deductible before they are coverd by insurance.?
How is the aca affordable? Recipients have a 12k deductible before they are coverd by insurance.?
Cheapest Insurance for a Yamaha R6 in the U.K?
hello, im thinking about getting my CBT and 125cc licence, because i dont want to get a 125cc bike, i want to get a 600cc yamaha r6 and restrict it to 33bhp, so that it runs like a 125, but the thing is that i dont know how much the insurance on it is going to be, as im gonna be a new biker i guess, so its scaring me, buying an r6 (second hand) alone is expensive enough. im a male, 19 turning 20 next month, i have no car or bike licence, if i buy the bike it would have done around 10000 miles and be around a 2000 model, i think r6's have a standard security system on them or something, if i had it i would put it in my room, or outside infront of my room, in the driveway, im a student studying in university and i dont have a job so moneys tight. thanks for your help!!""
Help finding very very cheap car insurance please?
i live in florida (miami) is there anyone that can give me a legit site that provides me car insurance for the cheapest price possible? what i mean by legit is no scams or anything, and an address where i can personally go to visit the insurance agency for the papers.""
Why is my mortgage company forcing me to buy insurance on my home?
what is homeowners insurance good for?
Insurance for my full bike test?
I want to do my full bike test but i dont need the trainng as its expensive and i think im up to test standard. I have my own bike but how do i get insured? the insurance company say they cant insure me due to me not having a full license but other people say they have done it on there bike please help!
Will my insurance company cover the price of my car loan?
I pay insurance rates for the price of my car loan ,will my insurance honour that price or will they try to screw me around because some people have told me they would only cover the price of my car which is a big difference""
Can the police seize a car off you in a petrol garage for no insurance when you have got in surance?
more info the police seized a friends car for no insurance when he had insurance to cover him to to use any car be cos it did not come up on the PNC as having insurance' on the car so can he get the car back for free from the police car Pound for free if he shows he insurance cover s hime to use any car . and is a petrol garage classed as a road help me wive this
What are the best insurance companies out there if you have had a DUI and a speeding ticket in the last 8 year?
Looking in California for an insurance company with reasonable rates I just got my renewal and they want me to pay 175 per month I have been only paying 100 dollars a month So if anyone of you know of a great company please post a reply and thank you
Why is car insurance so expensive for 18 year olds?
I passed my test yesterday, but insurers are being sharks again and charging thousands of pounds for something we might not need, and charging thousands (2600-23,000) for a small car which isn't even worth 1500. I have been riding a motorbike for 2 years beforehand, but no insurer seems to care. What is the best way for someone like me who needs to get on the road because of his job, to get a cheaper quote online? I've done basically everything.""
My parents need my drivers license number to get an insurance quote. Can they see if I got a ticket?
In early January, I got a speeding ticket. I paid it off right away with Christmas money, that way I didn't have to tell my parents. Now, my parents say that they need my drivers license number to get a quote on insurance. By getting a quote on insurance, can they see that I got a ticket?""
Do I need to be insured on my parents insurance to use the car?
I live in Florida, I have a Drivers License Class E. Do I need to be listed on the insurance to drive my moms car occasionally on my own? If so, does Gainsco cover an occasional driver for free? How much would it cost?""
What will happen to me if i can not provide proof of insurance in the state of California?
What are the laws regarding vehicle proof of insurance in the state of California?
My car insurance increased $ 500 because my sister doesn't have a car.. Is this legal?
I have been a driver for over 5 years and I have no points in my license. I was paying $1800 a year full coverage and yesterday I received a letter saying that my insurance will be $2300 a year. when I called them they said the reason why was because my sister have a driver license and she doesn't have a car in her own . excuseee me? What do I have to do with it? I told her she is not using my car I own the car and I am paying for it why do I have to pay for my sister ? She had her own car and insurance but she cancelled it because she sold her car . They automatically put her in my insurance as a driver. I told them she doesn't use my car and I can't afford paying all that money specially when I am an experience driver and no license.., does it even make sense? 500 dollars in one shot!! What? Is this even legal and right? What should I do?""
HELP! Do I need car insurance if I don't own a car and don't drive much in the state of Florida?
I am 16 years old and State Farm is calling me and it is getting annoying. I don't own a car and I don't drive much. When I do drive I borrow the car that is under my sister's name. My parent's don't drive. My dad's license is expired and he doesn't drive anymore, and my mom doesn't know how to drive at all. I keep hearing conflicting things, some say that it is a law in the state of Florida (where I live) that anyone with a license needs to have insurance, while others say that it is not necessary to have insurance if you don't own a vehicle and don't drive much. My question is: Do I need car insurance in the state of Florida if I do not own a car and don't drive much? Thanks!""
What are some sample average monthly health insurance payments for a 25-year-old male?
If that's not enough information, make any assumptions necessary.""
What's do you pay for car insurance in your country?
My car insurance in N.Ireland is just over 200 or 346.97USD or 291.19 Euro or 15,351.16INR etc. Thats for an average 4 door saloon. I would like to compare that with other countries, if possible.""
""How much does it cost to be on birth control w/ no insurance, how often do you have to see a doctor?
thanks
What is the best place to buy whole life insurance from?
I want to buy life insurance for my 47 year old husband and my 9 year old son. There are so so so many companies out there. What are some of the better names that are not schemes ?
Manufactured home insurance?
Has anyone dealt with any companies dealing with insurance for relocatable homes. We are looking for an insurer of these type of dwellings
Insurance complaint?
i just insured my car and my previous insurer will not send me my no claims forms for me to show to my new insurance company which is resulting in my insurance going up 500 is there any where i can complain
Cheapest car insurance company?
hey can u tell me the cheapest or most resonable car insuarnace company that covers northern ireland.... i have tried gocompare.com but it dosnt give me quotes with certain insuarance companys like directline or autoline thanks
How to get cheap car insurance?
Hi guys, i really need your a good and effectivr advice about this, please if you know something that would help post it here! Im 20 year old, have a car Peugeot 206 1.1 litre - cheap market value (1000ish). I live in London. Since 17 years old im looking for insurance - unsuccessfully. The best quote i get is 4000ish. I have no criminal record, no accidents no claims - nothing! And im fed up with so many people driving at my age and I cant- i just dont understand why exactly mine is so bloody expensive! Ive tried every variation just to see what im missing - pass plus for example only helps to the extent of 100. Its just crazy - 3 years and i still cant drive - what the hell is wrong with this - home come everyone is showing off by how cheap insurance they have and i cant get anything? Whats the secret? Ive tried every combination - me as the main driver/named driver/owner/just user etc. cheapest is 4,000!! Whats wrong with me? Anybody knows whats the trick, how to solve this issue? Thanks!""
How much would health insurance cost?
For a single person? I'm 18 and am in great health. I really only ever go to the dermatologist once a year. Thanks!
Car insurance help please?
Can you give me a estimate on how much my car insurance would be if I get on by myself. I heard it'll be high. I'm 18, and have a Bonneville...thanks""
How can I check what is affecting my car insurance prices?
Would there be a website to do this? I am struggling to see why my car insurance is so expensive. I've checked my insurance prices on gocompare.com, it's around 4,500, so I think it would help if I could find out why it was so.
How can I find affordable healthcare coverage for my employees.?
I have a small business, 5 employees and my rates are outragous!!! Please let me know how I can provide this benefit for my employees without spending so much. Thank you for any ...show more""
How much worse is your insurance if your vehichle is red?
How much worse is your insurance if your vehichle is red?
What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?
What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?
Will the car insurance know?
I am a single parent, unemployed and I care for my eighteen month baby while my other child is at f/t school. I have recently passed my driving test and found the car that I want. The only problem is that the f/t course I applied for at college is full and the insurance premium is more for unemployed people and less for students!(which I can't understand). I can't tell them I am a housewife as I am not married, If I tell them that I am a f/t student will they need proof when I pay for the car insurance.""
Are States legally allowed to require car insurance?
Can the State legally mandate that citizens buy insurance from consumer agencies that have little to no regulation of price and guaranteed service? Can we consider this question with ...show more
Getting Health Insurance?
I recently moved to New York City and the health insurance is expensive here. I was living in Virginia with my family and they still live there. Can I apply for Virginia health insurance, even though I'm living in NYC?""
Car insurance for a 17 year old boy?
Hello Yesterday, I passed my driving test and am, of course, really looking forward to driving. I spotted a Renault Clio I liked with a 1.1 litre engine. It's nothing special, just a first car (which would mean the world to me) I was always aware insurance was going to be a struggle. I insured myself with Provisional Marmalade while I was still learning, so I could drive my mum and dad's car as additional practice. Prov. Marm. have another part to their company, Young Marmalade for newly passed drivers, apparently giving you the best quotes, however I couldn't find anything under 3000! I am a 17 year old boy living in the Northeast of Scotland, one of the most common places for a collision in the whole of the UK. However, I am not in anyway a dangerous driver. My dad has been driving for 50 years and told me he feels very safe while driving with me as a learner, and I always stay within the speed limit, with the exception of if I don't realise I'm doing over the limit. My mum and dad have been saving some money for me for about 10 years, but it's only about 1300, and I don't have any more money apart from that. It's not going to be enough and I have really been let down by the insurance, because that Clio I saw was 600. The lowest quote I managed to find was 1634.70 a year from the Co-Operative Young Driver insurance, and with that you get a device fitted in your car to monitor how you drive, and if you drive within speed limits, and safely, I guess your monthly cost comes down a little bit. Anyway, I'm waffling on here. My question was, does anybody know of a REALLY good insurer for 17 year old boys who would: -take their price down for one of thse devices being fitted -offer decent discounts for Pass Plus or an Advanced Driving course? A car and amazingly cheap insurance would mean the world to me at the moment, because there's nothing worse than the feeling of only getting 1 minor fault on your test then realising you can't drive due to the greedy bastard insurance companies. Thanks for all the help.""
Insurance rate about traffic violations question?
Ok so ive gotten 6 tickets since ive gotten my licenese about 8 months ago. Got the tickets on 3 different occasions. Yes I am a dumbass and will never conduct a traffic violation again because of my last incident. Ok so heres my question will 2 underage drinking charges, having open liquor in a motor vehicle, not being able to provide owndership, public intoxication, and tresspassing affect my insurnace if the motor vehicle being involved is checked off on the tickets? I know the open liquor charge will forsure. But what about the other ones? Your answer are much appreciated""
Cheap health insurance for college students?
I live in Orlando, FL and i'm a non-smoking college student. Does anyone know of any cheap health insurance or even health discount plans that I could get on just to cover the cost of my Bipolar disorder meds and possibly a couple of visits to the psychiatrist? Yearly physicals and examinations I can handle, but this psychiatrist that I see is $200.00 a visit PLUS the cost of all of the perscriptions he prescribes to me. HELP!""
Is the car insurance company right?
I was in my first EVER car accident and it was my fault. I was driving my fiancs car and I wasnt on his insurance, his insurance company said that they wouldnt cover his car because I wasnt on the insurance but they covered the other car and that was the last of it until 6 months later we buy a new car and cancel that insurance and get new insurance for both cars and we added me on it. A few weeks later we get a phone call from the old car insurance company saying we need to pay them back for the other car which was close to 8,000 bucks we asked them why we are just now hearing about this we were never not once told we would have to pay anything and 6 months later you call us and tell us to pay you 8 grand all they had to say was sorry you werent contacted sooner they said they mailed us stuff but we didnt get anything. They mailed us a letter saying what they policy was saying that the reason we have to pay them is because it was a MATERIAL MISS REPRESENTATION we thought something isnt right so we took it to a lawyer and he said it cant be a material mss representation because that mean they wouldnt have covered me if I were on the policy which isnt true because my driving record was PERFECT not one thing wrong with it. They lawyer want 3 grand up front to fight it but we dont know what to do. Is the insurance company right?""
Any cheap car insurance in uk?
i have full uk licence and 2 years no claim bonus age 30 to 40 how can i buy the cheap car insurance.please
Can I insure a vehicle I don't legally own? ?
Can I insure a vehicle I don't legally own? ?
Does my son need car insurance?
I have a son and he just got his license, hes 16 yrs old. and we only have one car at the moment. Its just me and him and I have insurance already under my name, I have AAA in California. My question is since he got his license does he need to be put under my insurance also or is the car already insured since its already in my name?""
""Can your parent pay for your vehicles car insurance, and it be cheaper for them, instead of higher for me?""
Can your parent pay for your vehicles car insurance, and it be cheaper for them, instead of higher for me?""
Car insurance esitimate?
- Male - 20 years old - New driver - Honda Civic - Pennsylvania About how much could I expect to be paying for car insurance?
How much a mustang GT with red paint cost on insurance?
How much a mustang GT with red paint cost on insurance?
Car insurance help for a 17 year old first year driver?
I'm looking to spend 3000/4000 pounds on either a Golf 2006 model, ford focus, audi a3 2006 model or a bmw 1 series. How much am i looking at for the annual insurance for anyway of these cars being a first year driver?""
Which insurance company offers the cheapest workers comp covers in the market??
Which insurance company offers the cheapest workers comp covers in the market??
How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?
How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?
Can I get insurance??
Im 18 years old. I have never had insurance before because my parents have never had insurance. I just graduated from high school. I need insurance to help pay for some dental work. I dont have a job yet but Im working on getting one for the summer before i go to school. I know I am legally an adult so isnt there some kind of poor young peoples' insurance I can get? Or can I still apply for medicare or something because I am still basically under my mothers care. I appreciate any suggestions.
Auto Insurance Experts: How much will I be penalized for lapsed insurance due to non-payment (I'm unemployed)?
I have been without insurance for nearly a month now. I have been unemployed for 5 months, but I will start a new job next week! Yay! Since I will start working soon, I will be able to afford to pay again. My car will also be paid off next month. I plan to go with a new company. (I do not have loyalty to the current company.) I used to have a well-known national company for years. When I first lapsed six months ago, my long-time company DOUBLED my monthly premium. I went for a low-budget, local company. Will the new company force me to pay for the time I did not have insurance? Or will I face a penalty? Will they charge me a higher rate? **Believe me, I know that I am taking a terrible risk driving around without insurance. I know that it is illegal...but I have been unemployed for 5 months, and have used the little money I had to pay rent, utilities, my car, groceries for me and 3 kids. I just had no other choice... I just want to be prepared for fees, higher rates, penalties, etc. Can you please give me some advice and suggestions on how to get myself back on track? Thanks.""
Roughly how much will my car insurance be?
I'm a female and 18 in July, my parents have bought me a 2010 Toyota Yaris for my birthday.. But I have to pay for the insurance (fair enough deal!) Roughly how much would it cost? Would it be much cheaper if I went under my parents insurance?""
Do you have health insurance?
if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""
Question about sr22 insurance?
Ok I got into an accident back in 2003 and my license was suspended because of it I filled a sr22 with my insurance company and got my license reinstated but now their trying to suspended my license again can they do that?
""Why in California, mortage lenders require fire insuance but not earthquake insurance?""
and why few insurance companies cover earthquakes and if they do, it is with unusally high premiums and co-payments""
How can I check what is affecting my car insurance prices?
Would there be a website to do this? I am struggling to see why my car insurance is so expensive. I've checked my insurance prices on gocompare.com, it's around 4,500, so I think it would help if I could find out why it was so.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/being-adult-really-hard-owning-house-having-job-car-insurance-taylor"
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personal rant that got way out of hand... life problems ahoy...
i feel so disconnected with tumblr these days
i dont play dnd, i have no interest in the adventure zone, nor do i care about a few of popular animes (yuri on ice, voltron)
the animes im just plain not interested in (okay, and i just hate the fetishism in yoi and its fanbase)
i dont play video games these days because i dont have time or money (so overwatch for example is over my head)
but i dont have time for dnd, nor would that be something i could practically get into with everything else id rather do instead that also is very time consuming (cooking, studies, fitness)
so taz obviously doesnt draw me in at all
yknow. its not just tumblr.
im disconnected from my own life honestly its pathetic.
i dont have money for the expensive healthy ingredients, or anything at all. my account will be overdrawn once my gym membership comes out this month. my bf and i dont know how were gonna pay my sister back the 70 she lent me for a bill last month that we said wed pay her back as soon as my bf gets his first check from this job onthe 8th; but then he had to reset up a payment plan for a hospital bill hes been unable to make because the minimum payment went up to double (from 50 to 100) so it didnt clear in his account in january or february (because he had MAYBE 60 in his account at either point) so now he owes 200 on top of the 100 for march. so his first check is going to be demolished by that because its only a partial since he just started. i dont even start til the 8th and ive been jobless for over a month. we cant afford gas and this shit car we bought with his moms credit card (she gave it to us to do so) has problems and doesnt wanna start sometimes. best buy minimums go up every month, and my credit card minimum went up a little too. im going to have to pay over 200 dollars for not having health insurance last year (my return was gonna be 400 but the penalty is 695) and i finally got a reply from the health insurance marketplace after i sent in my exemption application and you know what they said???? thanks for your interest, heres how to apply!!!!! they just sent me instructions on how to do everything i had just done!!! i waited 3 or 4 weeks for that!!!! so im gonna have to try again and hope they actually look at the application this time!!! my boyfriend donated plasma to make ends meet, and hes had no way to get money off the preloaded card because a different online account is linked to it and every atm weve tried denies the card (one even kept it for security purposes!!! had to wait til the atm was serviced to get it back...) so now his account is overdrawn since nobody could help him with that (many many phone calls to the support line...). i wanted to buy him pod poi for his birthday at the end of the month and flowtoys is having a beta release of a newer better capsule light but i cant afford that!!! i cant afford anything!!! we cant afford anything!!! and our so called fucking friends are touring to oregon, our favorite place in the world that we want to live in, and havent said a word to us about it. i hate them. they have good jobs and blow so much money and one of them is even the reason were even so financially fucked in the first place and hes part of the stupid band thats going to oregon and hes so stoked his dreams are coming true when he is thousands of dollars in debt to my boyfriend and hasnt tried ONCE all these years to pay him a DIME back and im just so... soo... sick... of it all...
soon... its always soon... next check things will be better, next week, next month, next fucking year... i had a chance to make things work and i blew it. i had a full time job that paid well but well no i just had to up and quit because i was depressed!!!! i didnt want to do it and every day i floated further and further away from reality and i had to quit i had to and all of our "friends" think this is our problem, that we wouldnt be in debt and our lives would be perfect if we both "did what we had to do" and sacrificed what little mental health we have left just to make money... sorry we arent neurotypicals spency poo!!! sorry we cant handle jobs that makes us wanna die jayda!!! sorry my family doesnt help me nearly as much as yours do, jason!!! sorry had to spread the plague of your horrible money problems onto my boyfriend brian!!!! sorry we have cats that sit outside your house and eat food we cant afford, granny!!! sorry im not letting you take advantage of me anymore, """mom"""!!!!!! sorry that i couldnt save you, dad.
i cant manage my own life... i cant talk to anyone or socialize i feel like a child... i cant drive and i dont have a working cell phone (havent been able to afford that for 2 years) so i feel so stuck... alone... its hard to talk to people and im sorry, im sorry tippton because you want to hang and weve tried for months to plan something but i just cant move... breathe... think... im sorry busby you probably think i dont care about you but i do... im sorry kirsten i dont have any cute animal memes to send back or even anything to say to anyone ever... its too hard... everythings just so hard...
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