#I WOULD DIE IF I GOT A LITTLE SQUISHY BUDDY

[s0ckh3adstudios]

I NEED THIS VERY BADLY. LIKE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASEEEEEEEEE

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How I would rewrite the TYBW arc so far:

It is Known, either by the Visoreds or Soul Reapers in general, that Quincies are extra double allergic to Hollows. When the warning goes out that the Sternritters are STEALING Bankai, not just locking them away, Shinji, Rose, Kensei, and Mashiro all immediately have the same idea. As far as we know Mashiro doesn't have a Bankai, and Shinji's is both easy to use and a massive pain in the ass, so they agree that either Rose or Kensei will be the guinea pigs. One or both of them lets their Bankai get stolen and whichever poor Sternritter takes it immediately has Magic Anaphylaxis. The Visoreds proceed to wreck shop.

Momo, best Kido user in her class, figures out how Bambietta's bombs work and devises a Kido version of Kurotsuchi's delay ball thingies on the fly. Bambi is immediately like "how did you do that, you bitch! >:D" and Momo is like "don't smile while you call me a bitch, bitch!" And then they have an absolutely apocalyptic battle that makes everybody kinda glad the Seireitei is already falling apart, because holy shit is that a lot of fire and explosions. Komamura and Shinji arrive towards the beginning of this fight and Komamura starts to step in to protect Momo like he did in canon, but Shinji stops him because he's her #1 Fan. (There is a flashback sequence of all the times Aizen subtly discouraged her from making herself more powerful, and then the first time she got impatient and just blew up a Hollow while on a mission with Shinji and he lost his goddamn mind with excitement. Sometimes healing is about rediscovering your inner pyromaniac.)

Unohana doesn't die in her fight with Zaraki. She doesn't need to to make the whole Kenpachi thing work; Unohana Kenpachi died when Unohana Retsu went to medical school and it's fine. She already went through the stages of grief for that version of herself, it's over and Zaraki is the new Kenpachi. Their fight ends with a very intense, bloody make-out session but they don't fuck nasty because they've got Quincies to kill. Batshit crazy kinky sex can happen some other time.

Gremmy gets really into fighting Zaraki, and Zaraki compliments his manic battle smile. Little do either of them know, this is the first time Gremmy has ever received Genuine Praise And Approval from a grown-up and he imprints on Zaraki like a homicidal little duckling. He ultimately loses because, deep down inside, he wants Zaraki to be his dad. Unohana is intrigued by the little goblin and saves his disembodied brain in a jar for later. (After the war is over, Unohana starts tutoring him in anatomy so he can imagine a less squishy body for himself, and he ends up getting into biology in general and imagining all sorts of bizarre chimeras as pets. Also Yachiru isn't secretly Zaraki's zanpakuto spirit and she demands Gremmy tell her exactly what kind of cookie he turned her bones into so she can taste them. Unohana and Zaraki think this is the cutest thing that ever happened, every other adult in Soul Society finds it incredibly disturbing.)

Renji and Bazz-B keep running into each other during the invasion and develop a bromantic rivalry that puts Ichigo and Grimmjow's bromantic rivalry to shame... until Bazz-B lets it slip that he killed Renji's good pal Izuru. Bazz doesn't know that they were friends, and Renji doesn't know who killed his buddy, he just knows that when he returned from the Royal Palace, Izuru's reiatsu was Conspicuously Absent. Bazz gloats about killing a lieutenant and Renji mentally sorts through all the lieutenants, puts 2 and 2 together, and it's like that moment in the Soul Society arc when Aizen catches Ichigo's blade: shit gets so real the music stops. And Renji just fucking annihilates Bazz-B on the spot. (This part is specifically inspired by @cryinglittlepeople pointing out that Renji not getting to avenge his friend is, and I quote, "clown shoe writing". Which it totally is.)(And since Renji gets to make mincemeat out of Bazz-B, he gets his obligatory Full Bankai Reveal Glory fight, so Rose and Kensei don't make fools of themselves fighting Mask.)

[georgiapeach30513]

i need fluffy nonsense to recover after that one. who’s Squish’s cousin bestie or Ellie and Papa nonsense or anything or the floofs pls my little heart is broken at Able crying over is Posie mama 😭

So Squish does have a bestie, but it’s not exactly her cousin. That’s not to say that she doesn’t play with her cousins. But her absolute best friend for life…Birdie Mae Rain Adler. Oddly enough their parents have um…well, they got real close. And even when they didn’t have extra curricular activities, they remain close friends. Iris would DIE if she knew what those four were doing! Iris Rogers would never!

Why do you think there’s been so much fluff lately! This ordeal is going to get worse in ways, more dramatic, chaotic, and won’t have a conclusion until next week.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Two Turtle Doves

Summary: The Turtle Doves

Pairings: Squish X Birdie

Rating: 🥺🥺

Warnings: Fable and Birdie Mae, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 700

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Papa & Mimi’s Grandbabies Masterlist

You knew the moment that Arleigh had told you that she, too was expecting that your babies would be the best of friends. With only six weeks in between their due dates, you loved comparing bellies, talking about what you were experiencing, listening to her talk about what was going on with her body, and just overall being giddy about the dual pregnancies.

You and her nearly talked everyday, and even Blade and Beau were talking more. Blade relied heavily on his sister’s pregnancies and what he should do comfort you.

You loved that your man was surrounded by a bunch of women, because he really did know what to do to make sure you were feeling great.

You of course were the first to find out the sex. Calling up Arleigh just to squeal with her about your little red bell pepper. That’s the size that Blade told you she was. The two of you even crying when you told her the name you had decided on.

But six weeks later when Arleigh found out that she was having a girl, it was sealed that Fable Pearl and Birdie Mae Rain would be the best of friends, bosom buddies, sisters, pals, but then Beau said, “Like turtle doves.”

You and Arleigh turn and look at him so fast. Your giggles almost instantaneously stopping. “You know, two turtle doves. They mate for life and represent love, friendship, faithfulness, purity. They’ll be friends for life. The Turtle Doves.”

“You stop Beau Adler,” Arleigh stars to get teary and only halfway annoyed he pulls her onto his shoulder. “Don’t you say anything. I can’t help it. I just cry all the damn time. But…our little turtle doves.”

And that was when Beaumont Franklin Adler dubbed those two little unborn babies, The Turtle Doves

And when it came time for Fable to be born, Arleigh was there. Even getting a reaction from Fable when she held her over the swell of her belly, and Birdie Mae’s nest. And goodness, when Birdie Mae kicked around at Fable sitting on top of her temporary home, you both took it as a sign for their love for one another.

It was no different when Birdie Mae was born. While still an infant, she did try to find Birdie’s hand to hold. Whenever you would hang out together Blade’s squishy girl and Beau’s sweet dove would sleep beside each other, that is when their daddies weren’t trying to hold them.

Your daughter always being of the fluffy variety, while Birdie was a sweet delicate swan like her mother. And the two of them never cried. They would whine, they would pout, but no tears.

When they were old enough to sit up, Fable and Birdie Mae would carry on the sweetest of conversations with each other. Animatedly moving their eyebrows and throwing their hands out while they babbled.

When they started to crawl, Birdie Mae could crawl, while the squishy Fable scooted. Her belly was always getting in the way. But Birdie Mae would turn around with a sweet scrunchy nose smile and wait on her friend.

But when those two started walking, and walking well enough, their hands were always holding each other. Being the sweetest of sweet friends.

If one of them fell and got hurt, it was like the other felt the pain and would sit with them, brushing their hair out of their face. These two when together were inseparable. Preferring to hang out at the farm, and Arleigh and Beau were always getting some kind of animal. Remy following behind the two Turtle Doves while they waddled around.

You knew that the two of them had found their soul mate. Their lifelong friend, and of course you and Arleigh couldn’t help but to be so giggly about it.

“So,” Beau starts, leaning back in his spot, nursing a beer that he brewed, while Arleigh leans over on him. The two girls playing off to the side with Remy. “When are we planning the next one? Let try to do this friendship thing again.”

Blade takes a deep breath, inhaling slowly. “As long as our kids don’t fall in love. I’m fine with planning a second. Or third. Or fourth. Or…”

“I’m out,” you answer.

“Yeah I’m good with two,” Arleigh responds leaving the men pouting. “When your stomach stretches to a watermelon, we’ll talk.”

Masterlist

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Insecure Thicc!Reader

Pairings: BNHA Boys x reader

Warnings: Some spicy bits, but not too crazy, a little crude, kinda implied fem! in some bits, but you can just skip over those points if ya want

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Dabi

Author’s Note:

Hello! This is the first time I’ve written for Dabi so I hope his turned out ok! As a thicc girl myself, I kinda poured my heart out a bit for this request. I hope you enjoy these little headcanons (I kinda went crazy oop—)!

If you’re feeling insecure, remember that you’re beautiful, no matter what other people say! I’m still on my own journey of self-love, but I hope that this can bring a bit of comfort to anyone who is anywhere on that road.

I know that it says Mirio, but I don't write for him so I contacted the requester and they swapped him out for Dabi.

I love you guys! Hope you like it!

-Sugar

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Bakugou:

My mans Bakugou

He can appreciate some nice booty

I'm just going to jump straight to cuddling here because that's what I feel like doing

In public, Bakugou isn't all that affectionate

I am by no means saying he wouldn't gladly flaunt your relationship and yell about how wonderful and attractive his s/o is, but for the most part he likes to keep it between you two

But during down time, when there's nothing to do and all evening to do it, he wants you in his lap

SNUGGLING

He a stronk boi, you're sitting on his lap whether you like it or not

You are his human teddy bear, and you're going to have a hard time getting him to let you go

He wants to touch you all over and let his hands sink into your soft, plush body

Cheeks? Perfect for kissing and squeezing between his fingers

Your chest? He likes to hold you in his hands and test the weight of your boobs. They're so nice and soft and squeezable

Tummy? Bakugou's all over giving you soft, slow kisses over your skin, sucking a little into his mouth and between his teeth to nibble on

Thighs? He's touching on them constantly. If ever he's feeling possessive over you, his hands are going to fly to your legs and give them a solid squeeze to remind you you're his

Butt? Like I said, he loves it. He likes smacking it at every opportunity. Watching the resulting jiggle is the most satisfying and enticing thing to him

He likes to hold you at night, either his hands firmly clasping those lower cheeks or simply having it pressed into him. As much as he can get, he'll take

…

Now, if he ever catches you saying something bad about yourself, you're done for

You say it when you're home alone together? He's going to prove to you how beautiful and valuable you are through any methods he can think of

Lecture consisting mostly of him yelling about how much he loves you? Check

Tackling you in an aggressive hug and pinning you to the bed only to point out and gently kiss everything you dislike about yourself, telling you how much he loves it? Check

There's another thing I could mention he'd do, but my mom might read this, so I don't want to get into it, buuutt you can fill it in yourself 👀—

Say something bad out in public? He's going to give you a death glare and pull you aside as soon as he can to tell you to stop

If someone makes a nasty comment about you, they got a big storm comin

Let's just say that, after an extensive apology from the person, you probably won't see them again for weeks

Bakugou knows how to get to people

…

Katsuki doesn't care about what you look like, as long as you're happy and healthy

He values how you carry yourself and how you treat him. Something as superfluous as appearance isn’t on his mind when choosing and loving a partner

He's a good person to vent to as well. It may not seem like he’s listening sometimes, but he his. His insight is truly outstanding. There's something about him where, when he wants to, he always knows the right thing to say

13/10 loves you just the way you are and knows you're beautiful. Would not hesitate bitch to throw hands to anyone who says otherwise

____________

Kirishima:

Idk if this is me just self projecting onto him or whatever, but high key I think Kirishima could have a thing for thicc people

Nothing against our skinny queens and kings! He'd love you either way

But like, I can 100% see it

So he honestly gets kinda offended when he realizes you're insecure about your body

He understands why you feel this way—he's not blind to the fact that you're a little bigger than some other people

What really gets him is why you put so much pressure on yourself to look a certain way. To him, you're the most beautiful wonderful person in his world. Why would you be so negative towards yourself?

He knows how it feels to be insecure, especially with appearance

If you want to change yourself, he's 100% supportive. Mans is literally the most perfect gym buddy and would love to be by your side on your journey of self improvement

If you're not interested in changing your appearance, whether it be simply just for now or even never, guess what? He's 100% supportive!

I've seen this everywhere, and if you're also a regular in this niche of fanfic, I'm sure you have too, but Kiri is the biggest hype man

New outfit? He's all over telling you how good you look. Flaunt it, babes!

New makeup look? Amazing! Beautiful!

Did something different with your hair? Yesyesyesyesyes

And he's completely genuine in his praise as well. It's not manly to be fake about your thoughts and beliefs, and he knows for a fact that you're beautiful, just the way you are. Confidence goes perfectly with any look!

…

When it comes to cuddling, he's all over you

He'll respect it if you're uncomfortable being touched in some places, but what he wants most is to be as handsy with you as possible

He just wants to run his hands over every surface of your body. Nothing suggestive about it (unless you're in the mood! 😉), he just wants to feel you

Boob pillow? That's all his. It's like there's one magnet in your chest and another in the side of his head. They're just so soft and plush and squishy?? To die for! Even if your chest is comparatively small, he's still on you. You can't stop him

When his head isn't planted on your chest, it's settled on your belly. He likes the warmth against his cheek and finds every aspect of it cute

Rolls? Adorable! Stretch marks? Beautiful! Hair? Pretty!

11/10 you're getting tummy kithes and little teasing tickles every night you spend together

He loves your thighs. Being a little grabby with them is totally his thing

Yet another place to leave kisses. Maybe even love bites too `O.O`

Great place for him to take little naps. Literally I cannot stress enough how comfortable he finds you, immersed in your scent, cheek comfortably resting on the tops of your legs, your fingers carding through his soft red hair. You are literally Heaven on Earth to him

Insecure about your arms? He loves them. They lead to you, and give him the best cuddles and hugs ever in the whole wide world. He'll kiss them all the way up and down until you admit they're not so bad

That goes for everything though. If he catches you talking bad about yourself or your body, he will tackle you and start kissing you all over until you admit how beautiful you are

KISSES ON YOUR CHEEKS. CHUBBY CHEEKS ARE VERY ADORABLE AND COMPLETELY FREE KISSING REAL ESTATE

He won't hesitate to carry you around or let you sit on his lap. He's a hero (or even just training to be a hero). He's super strong and manly, and besides, what else are those muscles for? Punching bad guys? Nah, he's more interested in holding his favorite person in the world (oop, that's you!)

Doesn't matter how heavy you are (I'm also talking to all yee who are 200lbs+. I see you. He's got you), he can pick you up. Carrying around his s/o is 100% mandatory and you can't say no (well, I mean, you can but like, only if you truly mean it)

Any days you feel down on yourself, he can be a little more serious

He's a great listener and will hear every word you have to say without interrupting, even though a part of him wants to interject any time you may try to call yourself ugly or unattractive

Once you've vented everything out, he'll pull you into his arms and let you settle on his lap. Then he'll give you the hype/pep talk you need

Anything you don't like about yourself, he'll go on a whole rant about how much he loves it. It's not a flaw, it's just a part of who you are. And because it's a part of you, Kirishima is going to love it, no matter how much resentment you may feel towards it

He's a big hugger, so he wants to have you as close to him as he can. It helps him feel like he's making you feel better

…

Heaven forbid someone tries to give you trouble for how you look

He won't react as explosively as Bakugou, but they still better be praying

Kirishima's going to give them a good long talk about treating others with respect and being manly. He's not leaving until they apologize

All in all, Kirishima will forever love you for who you are. He doesn't care about your body shape or size. As long as you're healthy and happy and being your best self, he's going to be all for you

____________

Dabi:

So this guy is not having ya insecure BS

He doesn't see any problem with the way you look

He really grows to like your body even more than he expected over the course of the relationship

He likes how much more of you he has to grab and kiss and smack (affectionately)

He's pretty open with PDA

He likes grabbing your ass where everyone can see and giving you a nice squeeze just to let you and everyone else know you're his

He's into making out with you behind the bar, just waiting for someone to walk in on you

Dabi isn't big on being soft in public, but behind closed doors, you'd find him giving softer kisses and lighter touches

Initially isn't big on cuddling but opens up to it more as he finds how soft and huggable you are

You can bet you're sitting on his lap whenever you can, whether it's alone together in your room or even during a meeting; this man has no shame (not that he should be)

When you open up to him about your insecurities, he'll be a little upset

He sees nothing wrong with you at all, so why is your body something to be upset over? If anything, he's more attracted to you like this

He has a bit of a hard time finding himself attractive due to his burns (he's so wrong tho), so in that sense, he can somewhat understand

Decides to make a bit of a pact with you to stop being so insecure about yourselves and making a big deal out of appearances

You both love each other for who you are, and that's what's important

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Taglist: @a-happy-otter @basicaegyo @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @pyrofanatic @sendhelpimstupid @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4

[colemacgrathtkz]

My love will never die

Full disclosure: I just happened to think of think of the title, afterwards. "My love will never die" by "AG (feat. Claire Wyndham)" is a pretty good theme for this, in my opinion. Maybe you want to hear it? See what I mean?

Previously. Next?

[Two nights before (Empress) Luz's capture, at the convention center]

Eda guided the "New Coven" leader inside the convention center. Ignoring the breaking and entering, they stopped at the very stage Amity had her duel with Luz. Nothing but a dim green trail of light led the way. Stopping just at the center, the owl lady banged her foot on the ground.

Eda: "It's us. Open up down there."

No response

Eda: "Dang it, you two! There's no password! Stop making me look stupid and open up already."

The ground began to split as vines showed them the way.

Willow: "Just being careful."

Gus and Willow stood at the base of the opening. Tonight was the start of a new battle. Journeying further down, Lilith and King were waiting amongst the treasure trove of crystal balls.

Amity: "You found them."

Gus and Willow just stared at the ground.

Lilith: “Something’s been done to these orbs.”

The original two conspirators began loading them into a wheelbarrow. Eda handed one of them to Amity for a look.

Eda: “You really need to see this.”

*

[King’s crystal ball]

King and his boo boo buddy were taking a stroll in the Bonesborough library.

King: “I still say they should obey me! I brought this place so much business.”

Luz: “ This is a public library and you only published one book.”

King: “ Yeah, but I freed like thirty two other writers. I found Piniet his next bestseller.”

Luz: “I was there, you know.”

King: “ History is what I say it is!”

Luz: “Speaking of history....”

The two had been through a lot. It wasn’t easy. What with King having been caged as the empress’s pet. Anytime they’d been in the same room, King wouldn’t get any closer than six feet. Despite this, Luz made plenty of attempts to make up for what happened. This was her way of trying to make things right and get her best friend back.

Luz: “Ta dah.”

A giant book towered over the more appropriately sized literature.

Ruler’s reach 2

King: “My daring work of genius!”

Luz: “A book fit for a king. I pulled some strings and got it published. Do you like it?”

The small furry friend darted back and forth between the tomes and cardboard cutout. Finally, out of impulse, he launched himself into his buddy’s arms. Noceda almost forgot how light he was.

Luz: “I missed you, buddy.”

They tightly embraced each other for what had felt like forever ago.

Luz: “Forgive me.”

King: “Eh?”

In one swift motion, she launched King onto a page of his huge open book. In seconds, he was wrapped in green strings. A small cry echoed in the empty library as he was sucked into his own work. Luz shrunk the sequel to a normal size. Closing it, she tucked it under her arm. She didn’t enjoy any of this.

Luz: “Luzrura’s dead in your sequel. Now you can live out your dream, King, just the way you want it. Have fun living your masterpiece, without me getting in your way.”

To her, putting King in his literary fantasy; was her way of atoning.

*

[Eda’s crystal ball]

The empress marched on her carriage through the town. The owl beast pulled her forward down the streets. She was the appointed symbol of the new rule in the Boiling Isles. Eda was remembered as wild and unpredictable. The owl beast was the embodiment of those principles. The empress wanted to make sure her former teacher’s memory was “respected” this way. She’d enjoyed letting her run free. But she also found pleasure setting her loose on rioters. She’d parade Eda’s cursed form as her twisted symbol of liberation. The herald of a new era.

*

[Lilith’s crystal ball]

Lilith’s cursed form looked more like a raven beast. Chained at the center of a pit, she served little purpose other than to sharpen the Owl beast’s bloodlust. At times she’d throw the two sister in together. The empress arranged for fierce clashes. If Lilith ever seemed to get the upper hand, her majesty would yank on the raven beast’s chain.

*

[Amity's crystal ball]

Bonesborough had caught fire. Rebels against the empress where busy either retreating from the flames or the marching abomination army. Their general, smiling with satisfaction, carried out her empress’s will. The green haired witch was feared throughout the town. As second only to the empress herself, her power was unquestionable; as was her loyalty. A member of a high class family had become a head of this matriarch. She was exceptionally close to the human on the throne. The power shared between them was unparalleled. But the empress’s will was absolute. Her general lived for the empress.

[Luz’s crystal ball]

Luz cradled the one ball she kept for themselves. Whenever she started to doubt any of this, she looked into this future. The one she wanted more than anything. Eda sipping something warm in her mug. Willow and Gus looking around the house. Amity sitting close to Luz, with King in her lap. And, of course, Camila having this lovely time in her house. Luz’s whole family together. Just being together and having a magical time.

[Empress Luz’s crystal ball]

Whenever Luz was asleep, the empress would sneak a peek to her glorious future. There on the throne, she sat. Amity Blight stood by her side. Grinning at her only love, she was undoubtedly smitten. The human gazed out into the crowd that knelt before them. Her mother also stood before her in the throne room.

But one thing always bothered her about her glimpse into her crystal ball.

No matter what she did, no matter what who else was beside them,

Camila wasn’t smiling.

[Bonus]

Amity just stared at the orb in her hands. This vision of the possible future-no, the plan made her blood run cold. There was no denying what they had seen. No matter what they tried, the orbs wouldn’t show them anything else. Someone had locked them on to these foreseeable futures.

Amity: “....”

Eda( placing one hand on Amity’s shoulder): “It’s time, kid. We need you on this. If we’re going to take her down, we can’t make any mistakes.”

Amity: “What’s the plan?”

Eda: “You’re going to keep her from using magic. As sickenly adorable as you two are, you’re the only one who can get close enough to give her this.”

The owl witch pulled out a purple vial and a black marble.

Eda: “Lace something she’d grab with this. This little guy here is gonna keep her from casting any spells on us. Make sure you don’t get any on ya. Otherwise, you’ll be dragging your feet on this, too. Those two dweebs are going to run interference. They’ll wear her down enough for King to deliver this.”

She handed King of demons a orange squishy ball.

Eda: “We can’t risk her blocking or redirecting any sleep spells on us. Our slippery friend here’ll have to get in close and personal.”

Amity: “ You think this’ll work?”

Eda: “I made this stuff strong enough to take down four slitherbeasts. I would’ve made it six, but that seemed like overkill.”

Lilith handed her sister a green bottle.

Eda: “Lilly got us this far with that ‘special’ ingredient, last time you two met. If we can get more, it should lead us to any other nasty secrets.”

Eda realized she’d been the only one here doing any actual talking.

Eda: “You sure you’re up for this? We kind of need your head on straight when this goes down. We can’t just bring anyone on this particular job.”

Amity: “ I think I should get my brother and sister. They’re annoying, but I trust them to take this seriously. They’d be a big help.”

Eda agreed as she didn’t really know any other way to reassure her. So, once they were done here, everyone was to get some rest.

But those were the last words they’d say to anyone. For the next two days, they’d be as silent as ghosts. With what was about to happen, what they had seen, it’d haunt them in their waking hours. And then some.

Author’s note:

I’d been thinking about this one for awhile. Since Luz does want to make things right, it’d be her curse of a companion that’d twist things. Amity’s vision was actually inspired by someone else’s fanart.

[flyingupward]

critical role - vox machina chapter 2 - adventures in vasselheim

all sentences taken from episodes 17-23 of the first campaign of critical role. feel free to change pronouns, phrasing etc. to fit your needs!

“I feel uncomfortable. It must be the emotion.”

“She bets for all of us.”

“You know what I love about these fights? They’re just beautiful.”

“It’s okay, buddy. This isn’t the first time you’ve been knocked unconscious.”

“Where do I mark off my loss of pride?”

“We’ve had a really emotional day, can we just sleep?”

“That’s not even chicken, that’s just a piece of wood.”

“It seems a shame to have a family and not take advantage of it."

“What is family for other than to take advantage of?”

“We haven't had an awkward parental confrontation in what feels like months."

“You left during the family meeting.”

“Most people just say thank you!”

“I judged him, apparently, and I don’t remember doing it.”

“There’s nothing you can’t ruin.”

“I used it in that fight that you didn’t want to fight in.”

“While you were gone, everything happened, by the way.”

“I’m eating so much sugar compulsively out of nerves.”

“Can you just call us people, please?”

“Do you have a name other than husband?”

“I made a holy hand grenade.”

“He looked kind of like a dick if you want my personal opinion.”

“I am very very nervous that somebody’s going to die when we fight this thing.”

“I haven’t finished my training montage yet.”

“Oh, this is wonderful. You’re all gonna die.”

“Can we all get inspiration from seeing ________ just massacre?”

“Leave none alive, my boy.”

“I think we’re going to have to have a talk circle right now.”

“Can we make an agreement: I kill you, you kill me?”

“Somehow you made that less sexual than I could have ever imagined.”

“Your good fortune is a plague upon your friends.”

“Welcome to the shit.”

“We can both hold the monster.”

“I believe that you squishy people should be back here!”

“No plan is a good plan.”

“All I needed was fried chicken.”

“What a glorious moon are you amongst the stars of your treasure.”

“I’m called Burt Reynolds and I take great offense to that.”

“I’m never going. I’m going to just have a snack.”

“I would like to move away from this group of soon to be blasted with dragon fire people.”

“I built a thing and it blew up! Kind of on purpose!”

“I’m sorry! I’m a genius! I’m sorry! God, I’m clever!”

“You leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!”

“Way to not die.”

“By the way, your lips taste like bubblegum.”

“I take my social cues from other people, I’m sorry.”

“Everyone talks about spontaneous combustion, but I never believed it.”

“Just let me step into a bucket. Please let me step into a bucket.”

“It’s like a cruise ship goth club.”

“It’s not impressive, that’s mythic.”

“That’s the thing, you’re beating math.”

“He’s sometimes hard to follow. You don’t want to fuck with him.”

“Ninth time’s the charm.”

"I would like to cast all my spells in succession for the next ten minutes"

“At this point, can I be amazed that he hasn’t helped us in any way, shape or form?”

“Math has no power here!”

“I think you pissed it off when you set it on fire multiple times in a row.”

“And with that, I must inform the internet of my majesty.”

“How is that like, being married to a god?”

“It’s hard to accept love from others when you hate yourself.”

“My sister is going to kill me, specifically.”

“There’s time to mourn the dead… and carpet… later.”

“He’s just slow because he’s processing and dealing with the rage and anger and the memories of betrayal that he has experienced.”

“I feel like we’re this close to starting the apocalypse.”

“Somewhere deep beneath the Vatican, there’s some monk who is running around screaming as all of their artifacts are cracking in half.”

“Little busy right now. On fire.”

“I am accustomed to failure.”

“I’m not stabbing you the worst I could.”

“Why are you smiling the whole time?!”

“I don’t know if explosions in small, earthen tunnels is a really good idea.”

“And you, you might be the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life. *suddenly kisses*”

“Everybody else is getting a fucking hug.”

“He almost died. How did you do?”

“Guys, I’m thinking this might be, like, a cult.”

“You saw Harry Potter. The Hippogriff will jack you up, bow back.”

“It wasn’t a guy with a cat hat, it was a demon.”

“You just got mad at me for pretend marrying your brother.”

"We slept in a tent! In the woods! With the loudest librarian on God's green earth!"

“I’ve thought about that a little bit and then tried not to think about that a lot a bit.”

“We’re getting you a leash!”

“I’ve always wanted to see a volcano anyway.”

“Are you haggling with the fabric of time and space?”

“That was the day that __________ set himself on fire.”

“You know you don’t have to breathe all of it in every time.”

“Your future is as important as it is fragile. Protect it.”

“Oh cool, is this like a Cirque du Soleil thing?”

“I like the comma there. The comma really brought it together, like a haiku.”

“You are always a part of our journey no matter where we go.”

“You’re my favorite… Everything, I guess.”

“You’re this close to a breakdown from Grease.”

“It seems an enormous amount of alcohol has given you some perspective. I’m very proud of you.”

“I was gone for like a day!”

“I, of course, encourage your violence.”

“It’s all right, we didn’t touch in my family.”

“I realize what I’m doing and I stop.”

“That’s going on your tombstone.”

“Maybe make a friend, like a new friend, like one who isn’t us.”

“See The Matrix now, bitch!”

“I eat barstools for dinner.”

“Why do I always get busted?”

“I’m proud to have finally found my match.”

“If someone were to be an idiot, where would you take them to hold them while other people decided just how much of an idiot they were?”

“I noped myself on that one.”

“People like me because of my hair.”

“We should respect it… And also make fun of it when he’s gone.”

“Guys, his fucking eyes are glowing.”

“We are officially drunk in two different cities!”

“You know you can just be chill sometimes.”

[ollifree]

30 OTP Questions - Fanari/Solas

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Fanari’s mistaken to be because she’s more open about seeking it, but they’re on even ground.

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Fanari/Solas

3. Most common argument?

“Solas I love you, but I swear to fuck say one more thing about the Dalish.”

4. Favorite non-sexual physical activity?

Doing their own thing in each other’s presence.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Fanari could pick Solas up, and did so a few times for funsies, but she required both arms for it.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Fanari’s got freckles and the best profile in Thedas. She has a lot of small scars from her day-to-day life with the clan that Solas likes to hear about. He knows where her one ticklish spot is on her spine and he will exploit it to his own nefarious ends like the trickster folk figure he is.

Concept art Solas best Solas. Fanari likes playing/helping him with his dreads, and she has a preference for her partners to be taller than her.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Fanari goes for it with determination. She wasn’t spoiled, but she and her sister Elnara were both indulged by pretty much everyone older than them for having magic. It gave Fanari a stubborn “will be mine” approach to things she wanted; though had Solas not reciprocated she’d have respected it and let the matter rest.

Solas panics.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

They stick with the classic vhenan. Fanari still sometimes uses haren if she’s being playful, and Solas uses Inquisitor/Keeper in the same vein.

9. Who worries the most?

Solas does, but in the vague “my squishy mortal partner has a fragile existence that could end at any moment by sheer coincidence” way. It isn’t at the forefront of his mind most of the time.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

If they’re ever at a restaurant it’s only for Orlesian cakes and at that point it’s a trial of keeping Fanari away from the strawberry ones.

11. Who tops?

ACE RIGHTS

12. Who initiates kisses?

Both.

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Fanari, but one of her stims is feeling textures so she usually reaches for his sleeve.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Solas.

15. Who wakes up first?

They wake up about the same time, especially once Fanari figures out the whole Dreamer thing.

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Shock of all shocks, it's Fanari. Don’t make her get up there are  responsibilities out there.

17. Who says I love you first?

Solas.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

No notes, but they do find trinkets for one another.

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Fanari mentioned it to her immediate family (her three parents, two siblings, and Deshanna) in letters, and word made its way around the clan. The two never went out of their way to tell people in the Inquisition, but they weren’t hiding it.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

You know those pairings that are like? Clearly meant to be? They gell right and each person is getting something out of the relationship that improves their lives and gives them the incentive to be their better selves? Imagine knowing that couple in real life and then one of them breaks it off out of the blue and doesn’t even give the other person a reason why. And then you have to work on the same team with the both of them.

The group gets very cold towards Solas after he pulls that. When he resurfaces after being presumed dead for a number of years (see final question) and the two get back together, Fanari very specifically does not ask for opinions from their old Inquisition buddies. Fortunately, my own OCs don’t count, so she gets those.

Darrell’s concerned, but while it’s not the choice he would have made he knows he can’t go making choices for her. (Fanari does get a tetchy crystal call from Dorian, who’s mostly angry he heard about the thing from a letter Kendra wrote Darrell.) Kendra knows Fanari’s an adult who can make her own choices, but she’s still there for Fanari if needed in any capacity. (Bull is not at all happy with the arrangement.) Again, see a later question, but Fanari usually refrains from saying Dread Wolf jokes. Kendra, however, has Fanari’s blessing.

Solas retains an aloof affiliation with Clan Lavellan. Many hate him on principle, and the majority of them barely tolerate him so they don’t lose their Keeper. He and Elnara are openly hostile towards each other, and only with other clans will she put up a front of accepting him for Fanari’s sake. Ma’non, their brother, is one of the few who comes to have an appreciation for Solas as a person. Of Fanari’s parents, Lamel is the only one who can have a conversation with him that isn’t ice cold. Deshanna, unfortunately, has passed by this point. Had she still been alive, under no circumstance would Solas have been able to live anywhere near Wycome.

@greyvvardenfell this is a request nay a demand nay a requirement

Jak?

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

They’ll dance at celebrations within the clan when it’s part of the festivities, but despite what Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts would lead you to believe they’re not big on it. If Fanari has to dance her first choice of partner is going to be Elnara.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Solas is the better cook, but Fanari knows more dishes. Fanari’s the type of person who can look at a meal and know it’s ready whereas Solas has to time out the duration.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Fuck it they’re to ace for this.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Fuck it they’re

Fanari has free reign on any Dread Wolf jokes. She usually refrains out of consideration. Usually.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Maybe don’t break things off with your partner and give her deep-seated insecurities about your relationship, Solas. Maybe don’t do that.

26. What would be their theme song?

Take Me To Church - Hozier

Let Me Remind You - Sugarland

The songs are from Solas’ and Fanari’s points of view respectively. Honorable mentions to Skillet’s Comatose and Florence + the Machine’s Howl. Actually...go check Fanari’s playlist. Any song you can apply to a relationship fits at some point in their timeline.

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Fanari’s got her hands full heading the Inquisition, and later her hand full as the clan’s Keeper. Solas has his Fade-walking, and they both enjoy quiet moments of solitude.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

I mean fuck, dude.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

And now it’s time for plot outlines with Olli

-Shit happens in Tevinter -Solas goes into Odin sleep for a lil over a decade, is presumed dead -Wakes up -Fanari more or less threatens leaving the clan to get Lavellan to agree to let the Dead Fucking Wolf live there -Profit

Fanari physically manifested in my home and called me a bitch to my face and that’s why Solas doesn’t actually die.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Shadow and Bone

This will contain spoilers (duh) some names being forgotten and its going to get long and some context less chaos

I hope i got the image ids right

Episode one (23rd April)

- ahh so the Fold= Dark Island form VoDT but with less summoning of monsters?

ID: Ben Barnes holding onto the wheel of a boat

- Many smol beans

Brief interlude with Nausicaa Valley of the Wind

Episode 1 cont. up to midway episode 7 (24th)

- magical brown trouser time my good sir

- buddies!!

- they’re not going to leave Alina alone to her existential crisis are they?

That tent looks like a circus tent to me and I have no idea why

- hmm hello completely innocent fallen branch

me: turns to sis and asks if we can we take brief intermission for this headbanger (which we did)

Turns out our brief intermission for the song was useless because after pressing play again it started buffering

we were talking about it and Dad misheard it as shaggy bone

Imagine the darkling but in pastels and black lace

- how the flipping heck can you fake bleeding light

- do you want to get lost Alina?

On Ben Barnes beard: 50% hot damn and 50% fight me (the way he tilts his head in this makes us want to hit him in the jugular)

Episode 3

- ooh look at the stag

- i love the bathroom

- damn Nina

- I wish Alina had time to get some magic tips but oh well

- replays Ben Barnes saying Moya Tsarieta twice

- how?! (Look I told you there was going to be bits where the context is tricky to pin point)

- i love the goat

- oh Jesper

- blue and gold is a great colour combination

- about the dinner scene: if this were me it would be the very rare time I stand up for myself

+ I want to add a small thing about the food taster... one is dream job/ i like him/ and imagine a taster eating something and it goes down the wrong way

- yes Jesper hug the goat- and

ID: a man with his thumb up gif from The Hunger Games; with him saying “nice shooting sweetheart” but I couldn’t find a gif of him saying it

- true north? I am never going to be free of bellarke am I?

- oh that hurts

Episode 4

- “our saint has arrived to late” 🤧

- ohh the stag is so pretty

- horses!!!

- time for a heist- i love this goat

- aww wishing fountain bonding

- the darking is growing on me

- i love Mikhail and Dubrov

- I love what we get to see of Nadia and Marie and Kaz and Inej and Jesper and basically everyone

- i love a heist (this isnwhat the hobbit should of been but you know with more dragons

- Mal is baby

- poor Nina

- ah ha a vicious cycle against the Grisha and Fjerdan

- I thought Arkens reaction was a bit odd

- oh Alina sweet heart- flashback time

- the map room is a aesthetic- using Aleksanders own words against him

That shot of the two of them is great

- poor Alina

- yas queen

- oh the stag!

- oh the machine gun; Mal poor buddy and of course flashback time

- i knew she was going to get the scar removed

Episode 5

- poor Mal

- Nadia is me

- Genya is amazing

- hi David and great minds think alike Alina (i had the same expression on my face when they were flirting)

- oh the creepy masks had a purpose

- “you’re not Ivan” you don’t say

- aand height difference... this first kiss is kind of weird to me

- oh Jesper you flirt

- I’m sorry firey people you’re going to be outshined

- Inej is so beautiful

- Dima?!?!

ID: two people from a scene in the Anastasia Musical the song My Petersburg

- what is the librarians dudes problem?

- Genya you badass... poor Marie (does Alina learn about this?? It would probably be forgotten just like her causing the death of her fellow mapmakers)

- I love the costumes

- Tofin (Idk his name) we don’t know you sorry you’re dead

- oh the kissing

ID: a gif showing two people kissing

- and him giving her the flowers is kind of cute but where did they come from?

- *pinched nose* I hate cryptic messages Baghra... holy shit... i mean I kinda knew he was immortal but still holy shit

- oh Kaz... Inej! Collect your bloody knives

- *snorting* The crows being sent to kidnap Alina and Jesper just watching her climb into the getaway carriage will always be hysterical (i personally would be laughing and thats why anything involving stealth is off the cards for me)

Episode 6

- rest in pieces Arken

- Alina broke Inej

- I love Ivan (remember the thing i said about forgetting names/ getting them mixed up? This is it.. I love Feydor a lot more than Ivan but they are both so cute together)

- my heart will go on starts playing?

- i like that horse statue in the background

- i love the beach... look at those waves... the wet look is great

- you done mess up Alina but also cool

- Mal is burly squid

- “burly squid” wheezing nosies

- now hug

- Kaz I love the cane

- “I see you now” aww

- I knew they were going to snuggle... those cute laughs

- the alarm clock though... i knew Inej should have taken the knife... i love Jesper... poor Inej... clever boy Kaz

- does it hurt? Mal? Does it hurt?

I have a habit at picking at things that hurt and well fictional characters aren’t safe from me wanting to poke something painful

- ride OR die bitches

- aand more height differences... getting very close there guys... Matthias please don’t let her fall.... they are kind of cute

- David through a book... 😂 they carriage jacked the Darkling

- David raising his hand is me... but damn it

- Alina is amazing... please remember you’re wearing the ring... Mal is best boy

- “adorable” snorting noises

Episode 7

- horsey!!!

- ahh the return of the VoDT hair (see first gif)

- Luda is familiar...

- yikes

- poor Aleksander being turned into a pincushion is not a great time

- poor Luda

- holy shit

- rock and hard place

- fuck off Baghra

- he wanted to help 😔

- ah so its like the hollow from Charmed

Image ID: gif from the og Charmed with text saying “ohhh she’s a demon!”

- this shot is beautiful... ah so I guess this could have been what happened if Caspian resurrected the White Witch... i guess

- hi stag.... oh okay 😔 poor Stag poor Mal

Flashbacks to Cinderella and Snow White (the one with Krisien Sterwart) natually it follows along with Snow White

- *squishie noises* poor Jesper... we love you Jesper but please stop talking to Inej just in case she sews her finger to the wound

- i love the crows and i love the chat about the crows

Buffers

The next day (25th) episode continued

- David looks so sad

- personally I would downsize the fold just as reminder of it

- that looks like that hurt

- I love Milo and Jesper 💖

- don’t look at it Alina... Genya is right that colour is horrible... tell her off Alina... poor Genya

- I think Jesper had fun playing a guard

- I knew the Darkling read the letters

Sister: why does he look like Tom Ellis right now?

- oh Mal

- blow dart... lol Kaz

- Milo!?! Oh the bullet you clever boy Mal

- i like the tent... he’s not wrong... we want to play with that dangly bit... oh the angst

- I thought you looked older (idk context)

- I love the outfit but couldn’t the necklace be anywhere else?

- “no mourners no funerals”

- I love the music

Episode 8

- I don’t trust that opening

- me too Crows, me to... how could you not know who Milo is

- I love Nina and Matthias so much... they are so pretty... I am not a fan of taxidermy... oh his name is Feydor sorry we kept getting you mixed up

- God damnit Kirigan.. a not so sneaky Mal... the honorary Crow... pick a side already darkling... Sun Queen?... did anybody notice her being tied down?... Good Mal and good Inej

- Jesper is amazing... so much death... bad bitch Zoya... I love Inej kissing the knife and nailing the Darkling with it... head shot... hello buddy??... this music though... badass Alina... fucking Ivan... holy shit and of course music is amazing

+ brave Kaz

- Inej and Alina bonding time... hugs? No hugs ☹️

- he offered her his hand 😞... Inej wants to hug... finally some hugs... Zoya has grown on me... i love Kanej (is that the ship name)

- Matthias oh no buddy... hill house flashbacks

- i love Jesper so much... Nina going “someone say heartrender??”

Image ID: someone turning around and raising eyebrows at camera

- Kaz saying “she’s a saint” made my heart happy

- I doubt the Darkling is dead...... i was right

- well shit/ coolness of making shadow monsters follow you (please let there be a flashback for this)

Bonus

+ imagine of Matthias and Nina decide to sleep rather than get food and were caught cuddling by the Grisha... I thought of this as I was getting into bed that night and i got up ran to my sister told her my thought she found the idea funny then went back to bed

+ people who own trains are evil?? Looks at snowpiercer

Bonus: the soundtrack is on spotify and itunes

Image id: someone bobbing along with headphones on

[shirtlesssammy]

15x09: The Trap

The Road So Far:

PURGAYTORY

Now:

Sam and Eileen are trussed up at Chuck’s casino. (Sam, if you tried hard enough, you could slip those zip ties.) Chuck admits to Sam and Eileen that he’s been manipulating her this whole time to get close to Sam again. He couldn’t watch his favorite show and it was killing him (LOL, CATCH ME IN JUNE.) 

Sam and Chuck are connected and it needs to stop. Chuck pulls out a scalpel. And then utters the eight scariest words of a Supernatural fan: “All good things must come to an end.”

Meanwhile, in the bunker, the bickering exes continue on their line of bullshit. Cas is expertly making Borax bullets while Dean tries to reach Sam, with no luck. Dean’s worried that there’s something wrong.

Chuck wants to cut out whatever festers in Sam that won’t allow their wounds to heal. Eileen surreptitiously calls Dean. Chucks senses it and ends the call before it really gets going. Dean knows that they’re in trouble though and wants to save them. Cas calls Dean “stupid” (will the bickering ever end?!) and tells him they have to find the blossom in purgatory to trap Chuck.

Sam notices Chuck’s hesitancy to torture him and mocks him a bit. Um, maybe now’s not the best time to bring out Sam Fucking Winchester, okay buddy? Eileen joins in the mockery (#soulmates) and in retaliation, Chuck gets Eileen to do the scalpel digging for him. He likes to watch. The scalpel digging is very squishy. A+ work sound effects. 

Dean and Cas are in purgatory and there’s still very much a rift in their relationship. 

Dean wants to split up but Cas makes it clear that that also is a stupid idea. Dean brings up possibly running into Benny while there in Purgatory….and I just want to sit a little and think about that was practically Dean’s first thought. He thinks of Benny, and the friendship they had. I am sad. 

With a simple “C’mon”, Cas wins the argument and they start walking together. Something tracks them from the shadows. 

Eileen continues to be forced into digging into Sam’s wound. Through the pain, he tells her he knows it isn’t her that’s doing it. He’s bleeding out though and things aren’t looking good. Chuck sits back and plays on his guitar. What a nice douchey touch that is. 

Sam talks reason to Chuck, and while that pisses him off, he also heals Sam’s wound as much as he can. Chuck can’t understand how Sam can continue to be so defiant. He realizes that Sam still has hope --hope that Cas and Dean will save them, hope that they can still defeat God. 

*Coordinated Domestic Dispute to Draw Out the Monster Alert*

Dean notices a corpse that he swears he’s seen before. Cas tell him he’s wrong. He has an excellent sense of direction. Dean gets down to look closer at the body and the leviathan makes his move. Cas hand waves him away. They interrogate the leviathan. He tells them that there’s a blossom that grows from them after they die. Dean wants to end the monster right there but he tells them it takes months for the blossoms to appear. He knows a place. 

Before they get walking, Dean asks the Leviathan about Benny. BRB STILL CRYING. Benny’s famous --and he’s dead. (Cas’s concerned look to Dean as he hears the news will haunt me forever.) 

Chuck decides to take Sam on a Christmas Carol adventure into the future, and shows him what life will be like if they win. 

April 17, 2020

Sam and Eileen are looking up cases in the bunker. Dean’s “resting his eyes” in the corner chair. Cas shows up with beers for all. Things look pretty great. They all decide on movie night and popcorn. HUZZAH! 

Well, until Sam gets a call from Jody. Claire’s dead, from a hunt gone sideways. HURMPH. 

Back at the casino, Chuck tells Sam that’s just the beginning. He pulls out the time clock of doom.

In purgatory, Cas, Dean, and the other dude, are walking. Cas expresses his condolences about Benny. Their hostilities come roiling to the surface. Cas calls Dean out on not accepting his apology about Jack. Dean is pissy that Cas just walked away. The other dude, presumably, just wants one of them to shoot him with Borax.

January 6, 2021

In the burned out wasteland of the future, Sam and Dean drive. Things are going downhill fast. They’re not saving people. Cas is gone. (CaS Is GoNe) The monsters are winning. 

Once at the leviathan blossom site, Cas quickly realizes it’s a trap. The leviathan tells him that Eve wants a piece of Cas for killing the alphas and taking the leviathan. Others attack Dean.

He comes to later. The place is scorched and Cas is gone.

November 3, 2021

Sam’s prepping for another hunt. Dean’s giving up. Sam wants to know what’s up. “Ever since..,” he starts. Dean jumps into why he’s giving up. They’ve lost everyone. HE had to bury Cas in a ma’lak box. Bobby and Jody (and Sam) all have death wishes. Sam wants to go out swinging, like Butch and Sundance. “We lost, brother, we lost.” 

Our Sam can’t believe what he’s watching. 

Chuck swans into the scene. He claims he’s “just the messenger” benevolently sharing his knowledge of the future. Sam can’t believe that Dean would ever give up, but Chuck swears he’ll tell no lie, stick a needle in his eye. 

Dean stalks through the quiet woods, calling for Cas. He’s got just under a half hour left to reach the portal. In desperation, he pauses and centers himself. “Cas,” he begins to pray. “I hope you can hear me.” Dean calls Cas his best friend and apologizes for letting him go.

And then this show gently murders me because Dean looks around warily and, seeing that the coast is clear, kneels to finish his prayer. On one knee now, he cries as he unpacks the terrible anger which he’d turned against Cas. “When things go bad, it comes out and I can’t stop it. No matter how bad I want to.” (I’m with many other viewers when I point to childhood trauma and parental neglect and abuse as one source for that deep anger.)

For I am DEAD Science:

Further pushing me deep into the grave, Dean continues, “And I forgive you. OF COURSE I forgive you.” He apologizes and sends out a desperate wish that Cas will be able to hear his prayer - wherever he is. Dean wipes his eyes, sniffs, and pushes himself up with a quiet “Okay.” It’s time to move again.

Back to the future, Dean stews morosely at a table in the bunker when Sam enters with a bag slung over his shoulder. Sam’s going to take out the vamp nest - alone, if he has to. Dean shakes his head sadly, then drags himself off to go with Sam. “I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?” They head out, two broken down, hopelessly alone men. 

“It can’t end like this,” Sam insists. So Chuck has him flash forward in time again using the magic watch. 

It stops on December 9, 2022. End of the line! 

In Purgatory, Dean has just over two minutes left before the portal closes and there’s still no sign of--- WAIT WHAT’S BEHIND THAT TREE? 

“You made it,” Cas sighs in relief as he stands to greet Dean. Dean hauls Cas in for the T I G H T E S T hug. Very good content! I approve! They check in with each other. Cas reveals that he was being marched to go see Eve when he spotted a leviathan bloom. Cas dropped the monsters guarding him, and snagged the bloom which he adorably describes as “a little smooshed.” Dean validates Cas’s achievements! It is very soft! I am emotionally compromised! (I have watched this scene at least 10 times.)

Cas reveals that he heard Dean’s prayer. They exchange soulful, meaningful looks, and then head straight outta Purgatory. I look forward to your post-episode canoodling codas, everybody.

In the future, Sam and Dean barricade the door in a ratty old hotel. They’re being hunted by……….JODY AND AU BOBBY! (Jobby? Body? Ugh, both of those are terrible.) Current Sam watches in horror as his future counterpart (and brother) fang out. They’re both vampires now! Oooo. Awkward. 

There’s a fierce fight. Dean chews Jody’s throat clean outta her body, hissing like an angry cat the whole time. It would be awful if there weren’t so many funny memes of hissy Jensen floating around right now.

Sam wakes from Chuck’s vision which was A LOT. Chuck apologizes for the terrible ending. (All these ending narratives in this season are the result of 15 years of exhausted writers room shit talking, right?) Chuck reveals a couple of things. 1) He “powered down” Eileen in a closet while he’s talking to Sam which is just….GROSS. And 2) The heroic and free ending which Sam aspires towards is actually awful. Is dying as monsters really worth locking up Chuck? 

Safely back in the bunker, Cas and Dean prepare the spell with the leviathan bloom. Dean pauses, questioning Cas’s choice to take on the Mark trapping Chuck. Cas insists that Dean can’t take on the Mark again, and that the only choice is for Cas to take on that burden. Dean agrees, remarkably not insisting on damaging himself this time, and the spell is completed. It all gets sucked up into a sphere. Since Cas will contain the Mark, Dean or Sam will have to destroy it (thus sealing Cas’s fate along with Chuck’s).

In the casino, Sam shouts at Chuck. “We will beat you. I will make it better!” Chuck sneers at Sam, and accuses him of playing fast and loose with the laws of nature and magic. There’s a whole lot the Winchesters can’t know about the universe, Chuck insists. Only he - God - can grasp it all. As one, the Supernatural audience collectively fake-coughs, “Billie!”

Chuck prompts Sam to reflect further on the visions. Was the worst thing truly the way the Winchesters died, and all their friends were decimated? Or was there something even WORSE which befell the world after Chuck got trapped? In horror, Sam realizes that monsters were taking over the world. Chuck affirms this conclusion. Without him in it, the world descends into evil. (Somewhere, on a wholesome farm, Garth is asking, “Hey, who are you calling evil?”)

While we’re all trying to unpack this latest revelation, Dean and Cas break into the casino. They free Sam from his chair. Eileen, still puppeted by Chuck, comes in swinging but Cas tackles her away. 

Dean punches Chuck. Chuck punches Dean. While they’re exchanging blows, Cas rolls the bespelled ball over to Sam to smash and trap Chuck when….

Sam falls to his knees. He can’t do it. He can’t trap Chuck knowing what he knows about the future. The ball rolls out of his fingers. 

Suddenly, light flashes in Chuck’s shoulder. The Equalizer wound in both of them is healed at last! All it took is for Sam to...lose hope. FROWNY FACE! Chuck crushes the sphere and destroys the spell. That’s two anti-God weapons down and how many to go in the next ten episodes? 

Dean confronts Chuck and he is 800% bluster at this point, cosmos bless him. He insists that Chuck won’t kill their motley band. Chuck wants his ending too much for that. After all, the “drafts” Sam saw in his visions--

Chuck interrupts that thought. All the “visions” Sam had were Chuck’s memories of other, actual worlds where Sam and Dean made those awful choices and destroyed each other. That move, in Chuck’s mind, is inevitable. “Just like you, they didn’t think they’d do it, either.”

Dean growls. “No. Not THIS Sam and not THIS Dean. So you go back to Earth II and play with your other toys. Because you will never get what you want.”

“We’ll see,” Chuck says, rather ominously, and poofs out.

Back at the bunker, Sam and Eileen bid farewell. Eileen’s been puppeted back to life and romance...and she’s not sure what’s real. (Where have I heard THAT before?) She needs to head off on her own for a bit.

Sam kisses her so sweetly. “Now that was real.” She caresses his face lovingly before walking out. (I firmly believe we’ll see her again - next time on her own terms!) 

A shaken Sam makes his way to the kitchen where Dean and Cas are decompressing.

Sam brings up the botched Chuck trap, and tells them he believes Chuck showed him the true future. Dean accepts Sam’s choice, and his calm acceptance is a balm to my fucking soul. What’s next? “We find another way,” Dean says.

Cut to Jack in the Empty. He’s taking in the non-sights when Billie appears. “It’s time,” she says, and Boris and I throw a giant party!!!

I Don’t Know Why I Get So Quotey:

I hate missing my favorite show!

Come on, Eileen

Stop being so stupid!

Chuck, you dick

“Okay let’s split up.” “WHAT?!”

You still think you’re the hero of this story. You still think you can win

The Dean who raised me, he’d never give up no matter how bad things got

I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend but I just let you go, ‘cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong

Sorry, kid. It’s a crappy ending. You and your brother deserve better. 

We know about your galaxy brain idea. How you think this story is gonna go

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[beerecordings]

Bee, do you have bastard cats au fluff? Please? Do the kitties know that chase loves them very much? You don’t have to answer but I’d appreciate it

yes of course my friend!! ninja if you want something in specific i will even write u a lil fic or something you just let me know!! also i am always up for talking about my kitty boys but i never do without prompting haha. okay let’s see what we got

Chase used to think cats were a little like girly - like he didn’t look down on women with cats or anything like that but he just always thought his friends would kind of make fun of him if he was like a cat guy so he was always like “uhh yeah i like dogs” even though really he likes soft squishy warm cats

but then he meets Jack and Anti and OHHH MY GOSH HE LOVES CATS SO MUCH??? he ends up staying with the two of them for a while after the divorce and he’s all sad and crying a lot and he won’t always let Jack comfort him so Jack like scoops up Anti and he’s like “buddy I got a special mission for you” and slips Anti into Chase’s room and like… Anti is not a comforting cat lmao but just having him there running around is stimulating for Chase… and then sometimes Anti gives up the ghost and comes and sits purring on Chase’s chest while he cries and Chase rubs his warm soft ears and loves him so much and Anti’s like “okay this guy’s okay, whatever” and lets him

after that Chase NEEDS his kitty fix so he starts volunteering at an animal shelter and just PETTING CATS FOR HOURS YEHHHHH but then holy cow. holy cow. holy cow Jackie

he is the most perfect beautiful cat Chase has ever seen and yes Jackie has some neurological problems and tends to run into walls and get over-excited and stuff and nobody really wants him but Chase - oh, Chase sees him all sad and lonely in his cage and as soon as he opens it up Jackie is the friendliest cat ever to live, charging at Chase and shoving himself into his chest, begging to be petted, cause no matter how many times humans screw him over, Jackie doesn’t care, he’s such a loving cat and Chase doesn’t know why he’s crying but he loves Jackie, he loves him, he can’t leave him here, this is HIS cat and he scoops him up and kisses him and brings him home

Jackie is SOOO HAPPY YESSSS HUMAN ADOPTED HIMMMMMM THIS IS THE DREAMMM

He wakes Chase up with kisses every morning and Chase gives him a big hug and Jackie purrs and purrs. He grows out of awkward little teen cat into BIG BIG BIG RED BOY WITH FUR EVERYWHEREEE just unbelievable fuzz

and yes, yes, yes, he knows Chase loves him, never doubts it for a second, cause Jackie is the warmest cat in the world and Chase is the one who refills his bowl and lets him have bits of his dinner and holds him in his lap and pets him and loves him all the time and Jackie knows, Jackie knows. so he is always trying to love on Chase right back, kissing and arching his spine up beneath his hands and sitting with him when he’s sick or sad, putting his lil paw on Chase’s face and looking him dead in the eye, like sometimes he’s just trying to say it out loud, “I love you dude!!!!!” and Chase just squishes him to his belly and tells him he loves him too against his fur

Jackie is BIG PROTECTIVE of Chase and he WILL fight dogs to keep him safe (but Chase never gives him the chance lol)

Marvin is a surprise kitty cause one of Chase’s aunts leaves him to Chase in her will and Chase is like “you can LEAVE cats to people?” and the answer is yes if that cat is a snow-white show cat worth like three thousand dollars

Chase can’t sell him though because Marvin is the proudest, sassiest, most lovely little cat and Chase adores him from the second he gets his hands on him. Marvin loves walking all over Chase’s chest and pretending he’s not looking at him and ignoring Jackie’s antics because he is too dignified for that - okay maybe he will chase the laser pointer for just one second -

when Marvin gives Chase affection, it’s like being blessed by a picky god, and Chase just closes his eyes and lies back while Marvin steps over all prissy and perfect and bestows gentle headbumps and kneads his claws into his chest

Chase: THE PAIN IS WORTH ITTTTT ily Marvvvv

and Marvin is stepping around all proud like “duh of course you do I’m perfect” (but really he is very nice kitty and very polite and folds his paws and does not beg and always brings Chase dead leaves as presents because he is such a gentleman and so clever, as Chase tells him endlessly

Jackie and Marv always sleep halfway on top of each other and fully on top of Chase. Jackie snores. Chase is so exasperated and he whispers “dumb-ass” and strokes his head and when he wakes up every morning he gets either paws in his face or two happy kitties mirroring each other on his chest, purring with their eyes closed, and he is Happy

Chase, hugging his kitties: thank you for the dopamine tiny babies

After Chase adopts Henrik he does in fact start to get teased a little by his friends but then he’s like wait a second…. i don’t need less cats… i need BETTER FRIENDS SCREW U ZACH DR. HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN HAS DONE MORE FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH THAN YOU EVER HAVE AND YES THAT IS HIS LEGAL NAME HE HAS THREE PHDS

Schneep is. VERY MEAN at first actually. When he came into the shelter all torn up (they think a dog got him) he was so gross and sick and flea-covered that no one else really gave him much attention, and he would just lie at the back of his cage wheezing and trying to growl. Chase would pet him, though, and Henrik would just melt and slump down in his arms, too tired to purr, just staring up at Chase like he was begging for help. Everybody told Chase Henrik would die, but he didn’t. Chase had to bring him home

Henrik was very untrusting and angry and hurting and getting in fights with Jackie and Marvin for a few weeks, but Chase just tried to give him space and love and reward him for even the smallest attempts at being sociable, and finally there was this day where Henrik just… broke for Chase. came to him crying and trying to purr and begging for attention and Chase just started crying too and picked him up and loved on him for hours.

now Henrik is a HEALTHY HAPPY SNARKY KITTY always going >:3 and Chase is just his favorite person ever and he hates just about everybody but Chase. he is Chase’s loyal little boy and whenever Chase is feeling bad Henrik seems to be able to tell, cause he’ll follow Chase around like meowing at him, and Chase like gives him a voice and pretends his little doctor is reminding him to take his medicine and everything

also no offense to Jackie and Marv but. Henrik is like. way smarter than them adkfnkdgd he won’t do tricks but he has learned things like he’s not allowed to sit in Chase’s lap when the red light is on the camera, but he can when it isn’t, which Chase just thinks is?? ridiculously smart for a cat?? he’s not sure though

when Jack goes into his coma, it’s one of the hardest times in Chase’s life, and he’s such a mess and can’t focus on anything. but Anti needs him, and so do the other cats. even on his worst days, he finds himself dragging himself out of bed to refill everybody’s food and scoop Anti up before he can start yowling for Jack and crying again. sometimes he can even get up the strength to play with him for a little while, trying to take his mind off his missing owner.

he probably wouldn’t have survived it without his cats, in retrospect. Jackie keeps batting things in front of his face and going :DDD trying to cheer him up, and Marvin’s flaunting his big bushy tail all around the house, brushing on Chase’s legs and face and meowing politely, thanking Chase every time he feeds him. Henrik keeps leading Chase into the kitchen and Chase is too tired to argue with him so he’s like “you want a snack, sweetie? You can have anything you want” and gets the fridge open, but Henrik is just staring pointedly at the leftovers on the top shelf and Chase is like… “i think this cat wants me to eat” so for Henrik’s sake he tries

Anti misses Jack…. but Chase is the one who looks after him now. so he’s gone from his owner, and he’ll always miss him, but… he’s okay, you know? he’s not hurt or hungry or lonely. he’s okay, just like Jack would want him to be. he knows Chase loves him because even when he is a huge troublemaker and throwing a tantrum and trying to be a bastard just because he’s sad and angry, Chase is still gentle with him, Chase forgives him and lets him pretend to hate him only to slink onto the end of his bed late at night….. yeah, Chase loves Anti and Anti knows it. Anti loves him too, though that’s hard to see for just about anybody but Chase himself

and things are okay, they’re holding on, they’re surviving. Chase is trying to keep his head up, but there’s a long time where it feels like Jack and the cats are all he can think about, and even they kind of make him sad, because they remind him of Jack and make him think he’s been a horrible owner, never able to spend enough time on them when he’s on his down days. he needs something to pour his energy and love into, something to distract him from everything, something new

and there he is - the perfect baby boy

Jamie is a tiny, tiny, tiny kitty who’s been living on the streets for all of his short life and Chase falls in love with him. he finds him in the gutter a couple blocks down the street - no one else has noticed because Jamie can barely meow, this tiny little whisper-cry - but Chase sees him. he spends three hours trying to get Jamie out of there. afterwards he has this filthy, mostly-blind, malnourished, stinking baby cat who needs him desperately, and there’s no going back after that. there’s no giving Jamie away.

and Jamie love him very much. he seems to know that Chase saved him. he is very tired and weak his first few months and he never gets to be very big - in fact, he will always be a tiny little cat - but Chase thinks he’s the most perfect, beautiful little thing he’s ever seen, and he spends hours nursing him and flattering him and telling him he loves him. Jamie gives him his tiny half-mew and chews on his fingers. he can’t much purr, but Chase recognizes the little coughs and chest-sighs he gives off as his best attempts at it

the other cats are like “BABY????”

Jackie tries to teach him cat kung-fu, jumping around the walls at three am in the morning. Marvin tries to teach him MANNERS in the midst of all these hooligans (Jamie is very polite too in the end but also just as chaotic as his biggest brother). Henrik is!!! very!! hecking!!! concerned for this sick little infant!!! he is licking Jamie all matter-of-factly and rumbling at him like he’s telling him to get better (once Chase catches Henrik carrying Jameson by his baby scruff to sit on HIS bed instead of the couch, but that is a secret because HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN DOES NOT SHOW ZE OTHER KITTIES AFFECTION)

Jameson imprints on Chase and follows him around the house like a duckling on tiny kitten paws. it is hard for him because he can’t see well, so Chase starts singing around the house a lot. eventually the cats all learn that this means he is probably not busy and might give them some pets or snacks if they come, so he starts humming and cats converge on him like he’s catnip, with tiny Jamie tottering along behind them or hanging out of Jackie’s mouth like he’s bringing Chase a present

Chase narrates Henrik as German, Jamie as British, Marvin and Jackie as Irish twins, and Anti as SCREECH

he just. he just loves them so much. he knows it’s maybe a little silly to have five cats but he just… loves them. they’re so important. they’re so real to him. they’re not just pets, these are his little buds. he takes care of them and they take care of him.

he comforts them at the vet. they steal his whiskey when he’s not looking. he puts a little bow around Marvin’s neck. Marvin spends two hours purring on his chest when he’s crying the next day. he plays games with them. they hide his socks and make him look for them. and damn, he’s got so many good memories with these little dorks…. Jackie getting stuck in the kitchen drawer, Marvin getting scared by the thunderstorm and needing a hug, splashing Henrik in the face when he got all curious about the kitchen sink, the first time Anti snuggled up with him, Jamie licking gently at his hands while he sat up all night with him just to keep him alive….

They’re his buddies. He loves them. They know. They knew all along. Cats are clever. They know. They won’t forget. They love him too

[everything-withered]

Oooh! How about 3. Things you said too quietly with Sterek?

3. Things you said too quietly - Sterek

Stiles is tired.

Understatement, he thinks with a snort.

Even without the feeling that he has more bruises than skin, and would like nothing more than to pass out Right Now Please and Thank You. Stiles is just. So. Fucking. Tired.

He has a Chem test on Friday.

He's behind on his assignments.

He's supposed to be grounded.

And yet here he is, metaphorically licking his wounds while the mostly indestructible creatures of the night he's only vaguely on good terms with, are sleeping off their latest run in with the monster of the week.

Derek's puppies just barely got out of it without being riddled with wolfsbane bullets, no thanks to the unfortunate run-in with some of Chris Argent's less...agreeable hunter buddies.

And Scott, well. Scott has Stiles running solo.

But Stiles doesn't want to think about how his best friend is keeping secrets and not answering his phone and not fucking listening to him just because of Alison. He can't. Not when Stiles is trying to keep the peace because his dad can't find out, can't get involved. Even if Dad is pissed at him, Stiles just - he can't lose his dad to this.

Thinking about it makes his stomach hurt, but maybe that's just the nausea.

God, if he throws up now he'll never forgive himself, and Derek won't either seeing as the guy's finally moved on from tetanus chic to the abandoned building look.

The rug isn't half bad, and Stiles would praise the Sourwolf for the effort to be normal to encourage him so vomitting on it would be counterintuitive. Derek might just get rid of it altogether and they'd be back with the naked cement floors.

Hoisting himself up to a sitting position despite the protests from literally every cell in his body, Stiles forces himself to stumble towards the bathroom, just in case because even if bare minimal is an aesthetic, Stiles isn't about to ruin Derek's attempts to actually live in a space.

Though for the obvious industrial vibe going on, Stiles had always thought Derek would have more...natural leanings. More wood, maybe. A wooden dining table would be great. End tables. An entertainment unit. Or a bookshelf. Derek's got books, they should have a shelf. Maybe those full size ones like in the library. With a ladder. Oooh. And like. A leather couch. It would match the Pack's unofficial leather jacket uniform. It could work. Throw a hand knitted blanket and some scatter pillows and boom, home sweet home.

As it is, the only thing to denote the space as having any kind of purpose at all is the presence of a single couch, some lumpy monstrosity probably dragged in from the sidewalk.

Stiles knows that upstairs are where the puppies sleep when they aren't completely conked out from excessive wolfy tendencies, and he assumes there are beds there. A mattress or two, at the very least.

Though he's trying not think about beds and being horizontal in that bed because he's Tired™ and he shouldn't sleep, just in case, so instead Stiles splashes some water on his face and tries to clean up. He takes stock of the aches in his body, gargles the blood out of his mouth and walks cautiously back out. He's feeling a little more steady, but not enough not to startle when he realizes that Derek is standing in the kitchen looking about as drained as Stiles feels.

It's weird. Stiles is used to Derek being grumpy and disgruntled but not quite so defeated.

"I suck at this," Derek says quietly, so quietly that Stiles would've missed it, might've even misheard it altogether. But then Derek is looking at him, something vulnerable and young in his eyes. And just.

Stiles' breath catches.

Sure, he knows the guy's had it rough but Derek's always looked generally unruffled, if not perpetually annoyed. Still, Derek's shouldered on no matter the adversary; clenched his jaw, grit his teeth and gotten into it. Done his best. Protected his Pack. It hasn't always turned out well. Frankly, it usually turns out pretty fucking terrible but.

For all Derek's threats to let Stiles die if he didn't butt out of the supernatural business, being a squishy human and all, Derek's never actually left him to that fate. At least Derek answers his damn phone.

Stiles exhales slow. "Yeah, well, you and me both, big guy."

Derek takes the pot off the stove just as it starts to whistle with a soft sigh of his own. "In our defense," Stiles continues, grabbing a pair of mugs from the dish rack (and what do you know, Derek has a dish rack and mugs!), "it's not like this kind of thing came with a manual. We're doing our best."

"You all got hurt," Derek reminds, and he sounds a little hollow, but the frustration is still there in the growl, that desperate undercurrent of fear, the inadequacy beneath the familiar veneer of anger.

"Training wheels; what's a few bumps and bruises, huh?" Stiles jabs at him with his elbow, prompting a slight shake of Derek's head, an eye roll that he likes to think is fond, and fills the offered mugs.

"We'll figure it out," Stiles persists, "You're not doing this alone, your puppies and I got you dude."

With a resigned sigh, he says, "Don't call me that."

And Stiles isn't trying to get too excited by the fact that Derek's not even actually annoyed, but he is pretty psyched that the little upturn at Derek's mouth is the closest approximation to a smile Stiles has ever seen. But he's never not a little shit so it should surprise exactly no one that Stiles winks and says, "Sure thing, Alpha-mine."

And Derek. Derek evidently doesn't hate that from the little purr he denies that he gives, to the slightly flushed tone of his skin, and the renewed bit of light in his eyes.

And Stiles. Well. He doesn't feel so tired anymore.

[sonknuxadow]

rating everything in my sonic plush collection because im bored and full of love

tomy modern sonic:

an excellent lad. he is very small, the tiniest boy in my collection. hes missing a back spike but that adds to his charm. 10/10

tomy classic sonic:

such a precious little baby. he is very soft and cute. 10/10

great eastern silver:

he is baby! a very good boy indeed. when i got him i was so excited that i ran down the stairs, fell, and sprained my ankle. 10/10

toy factory shadow:

excellent. i love this hog so much. 10/10

tomy neutral chao:

a baby! 10/10

toy factory knuckles:

knuckles sweetie im so sorry you keep falling off the bed but i want you to know that i love you so much. 10/10

great eastern werehog:

oh my god its my Boy i would licherally die for this little man he looks so angry all the time but he is just baby. 11/10.

build a bear movie sonic:

THIS right here is my son. the ultimate cuddle buddy. he is so soft and squishy i love him so very much. i am hugging him as we speak. 1000000/10

[completelypeccable]

Two for One Deal

Part 1

Barbara knew a lot of things.

She was a genius tech wizard and had saved everyone’s lives more times that they could count based off her observation and intel alone. Square up “worlds greatest detective.”

So yeah, she knew a lot about a lot, and none of the Tall Broad Handsome crew could reach her level.

But she honestly didn’t know what to think about this.

Richard flipping Grayson.

Smile that could defuse a bomb? Eyelashes thicker than the steel plating of Switzerland’s Large Hadron Collider? Hands the size of a small country but gentler than dove feathers?

Yeah. That bastard.

She hated him. And his pretty eyes. And his squishy nose. Stupid.

Ugh.

She just couldn’t always understand him was the problem. She could take down half the criminal underworld in a single night, but it was that emotional- kill her now- acrobatics he pulled that always left her breathless and just half a step behind. Considering her living was being two steps ahead of the game... It was unnerving sometimes.

She just didn’t get it. How he was so completely gone over that insufferable little brat.

Barbara tried to be rationale, she knew she was talking about a literal child, but that squirt was the most arrogant, violent, entitled little menace on the planet.

She didn’t hate him per se, but being in the room with him for more than five minutes? Not ideal.

But Dick acted like he was the Hallmark Good Boy of the year or something. Loved the kid. It was so weird. Now, Barbara wasn’t as emotionally constipated as, say... the Batman...

She leaned forward and pressed her face against her hands.

The Batman.

Oh Bruce, she sighed. Leaving all of these orphans behind. It had been so unexpected.

How does a legend die?

They were all reeling. Which was why she was spending the week here of all places.

She was just trying to keep her guys together.

Barbara was upset, grieving, of course, but she knew her hurt was nowhere near the others’- not like the ones who lived with him and stuck by his side this whole time. Not like his kids.

Damian she couldn’t figure out. He trained a lot, but he was the least of her worries. Tim holed up in his room. He barely ate, barely slept. He only stared at the wall or researched with a single minded fury. Jason alternated between savage beat downs in the streets and disappearing for hours to who-knows-where. (Barbara did. He was doing chores or reading in the third floor office behind the couch. Like a toddler.) Steph was trying not to start a new gang war and barely passing muster. Cass kept watching movies over and over and desperately teaching herself words. She would find a body and curl up against them to cry or just lay in a sad little lump. And Dick...

Dick. He was a mess. He was trying so hard to keep everything together, but he was also taking everything on his own shoulders and practically collapsing. Barbara couldn’t stand it, the way he kept falling apart as soon as he thought he was alone. He didn’t even try to ask for help, he just broke himself into pieces again and again.

So Barbara stayed. Picked him up off the floor, tried to hold herself together and keep an eye on everyone at once.

She took off her glasses to rub her eyes. Looking back toward her screen and her never ending vigil, she noticed that there was a protein bar on the table next to her.

Huh. She wouldn’t complain. The last meal she ate was honestly too far away to reach in her memory.

Munching away, she flipped through camera views: the labs, 42nd Street, the kitchen, Memorial bank front view, the family room, the atti-

She flipped back. On the couch, Dick sat curled forward sobbing into his hands.

It was heartbreaking.

Jason popped his head in the room.

“You hear it too?”

“It’s Dick,” she sighed, waving at the screen in front of her. “I was just about to head down.”

The large black boots thudded evenly toward her, thumbs hooking into belt loops.

“I was on my way down. Goldie.. well, Dicktopus has been trying to be everybody’s everything. Been waiting on a breakdown.”

“You’re not mad at him? For trying to be Batman?”

Jason scowled, glancing from the screen to the corner. “Bastard’s gonna kill himself. Course I’m pissed.”

Barbara just watched his face. Sometimes people forgot Jason... well, he was still before-Jason even when he was angry or unstable. Pit-Jason was put to rest, but when those big feelings came out, everyone still tended to spook.

“I’m just gonna-“

“No, it’s fine, I was already-“

The tinny cries cut off abruptly, and they both stared.

Dick was sniffing, wiping his face with his arm.

“Didn’t see you there, buddy,” his smile was disgustingly fake.

Damian stood awkwardly for a moment. He watched Dick with wide eyes.

“I’m just gonna-“ Dick made to stand up and Damian pushed him down.

“Stop,” he ordered. “Stay.”

Six pairs of eyes followed him out of the room. Dull clanks came from the speakers. Dick furrowed his brow, scrubbed his face, but stayed on the couch.

In a moment, he was back and marched in with... a bowl of cereal?

“You have not eaten in 36 hours. You will grow weak and useless if you continue in this manner,” he scolded, shoving the bowl in Dick’s shocked face.

He blinked up at him, and Damian’s scowl deepened.

“It is not poisoned. Look,” he hastily sipped the milk.

Dick stared. Slowly, large hands took the bowl, gently touching the small fingers.

He paused. His mouth opened, shut, huffed. Dick smiled a wobbly thing at the kid and took a bite. The crunch, crunch, crunch echoed in the silent halls. Cereal. He got him cereal.

Damian crossed his arms and looked pointedly at the door.

Tears began their way down the man’s face again, and he set the bowl down to wipe at them.

“Thanks, kiddo,” he whispered.

Damian shifted from one foot to the other, glancing to the other side of the couch. Dick shifted just slightly. A pause, and Damian sat next to him, a foot away. Dick grabbed the bowl. He finished it in less than a minute, then put it back down and leaned against the cushions.

Damian scooted close, pressing slightly against his arm.

No one moved. Dick froze. He glanced down, not even turning his head. Barbara held her breath.

Damian stared at his hands.

“Touching... touching people makes the burning in your chest... makes it hurt less?”

“Yeah,” Dick murmured, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Yes,” came the echo.

Damian picked up Dick’s hand and placed it on his back, scooting closer still.

Dick breathed deep, gently, gently pulling him against his side in a halfway hug.

He began to cry again, his face resting on Damian’s head. It was softer this time, and he held the small boy with reverence.

Barbara looked at Jason, wide eyes mirrored on the other face.

They felt like they were invading a private moment.

Jason scuffed a toe on the carpet. “Well, looks like we’re not needed here.”

Barbara nodded dumbly.

“I’m gonna go... finish my thing.”

As his footsteps faded, and the screen switched to watching Spoiler knock a man’s teeth out, Barbara glanced at the wrapper in her hand.

She hadn’t gotten it for herself.

She smiled. Maybe sometimes she could be wrong.

[queenismykween]

Watched Toy Story 4 again and made a super long list of moments that I noticed and loved. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! And hey, look, another cute picture of Woody holding Forky.

(Tom Holland and Chris Pratt in a movie together!? Sign me up! *after seeing trailer for Onward*)

The orchestra at the beginning with the castle! The whole score was nostalgic!

Nine years ago… (has it been that long?)

Barbie. (It was good to see her, lol.)

Operation Pull Toy! (Jinx between Woody and Bo. All the times they talk in sync is adorable and I had to list it.)

Bo pulling on Woody’s hat.

Bo: Billy! Goat! Gruff! Woody: You never told me they had names. Bo: “You never asked.”

Barrel of monkeys (callback to first movie) on Bo’s staff.

Woody thinking about getting in box with Bo (WHICH HAPPENS AT THE END OF THE MOVIE)

You’ve Got A Friend In Me. (Awww)

Andy’s new look! What a precious bean!

Toy Story 3 scene with Bonnie 😭 in the flashback

Bonnie’s name under Woody’s boot

(Oh, Woody, you’re okay to be a leader, even though Dolly took over) 

Buzz’s concern for Woody because Woody hasn’t been chosen for playtime for 3 days now.

Sheriff Jessie

Chair: Your first dust bunny! What are you going to call him? *Thumper. Tumbleweed.*

Dolly: Can’t you see I’m threatening everybody?

(Dolly, Woody cares about Bonnie too!)

(watching Bonnie cry cuz she doesn’t want to go to kindergarten.. of course Woody had to come with her!)

The two mothers!

Vivienne is a cute name.

Woody literally helps create Forky by giving Bonnie the materials! He is a dad!

Bon nie (under Forky’s popsicle feet)

Bonnie: This is Forky! Ms. Wendy: Hello Forky, I’m Miss Wendy. (I love it when teachers do that for their students)

Bonnie: I finished Kindergarten! (just after orientation, lol)

Bonnie’s love for Forky is my love for him.

Forky freaking out in the backpack. Both of them freaking out, actually.

Woody: Bonnie made a friend in class. Rex: Aw, that’s nice, she’s making friends already! Woody: No, she literally made a friend.

Forky: Trash?

Everyone: Hello, hi! Forky: Ah! *falls over and his eye pops out and Woody fixes it for him*

Forky kept running to the trash and Woody kept grabbing him.

The way Woody holds Forky! Like he’s a baby!

Woody: She had the biggest smile on her face when she played with Forky! *talking about Forky when he watched Bonnie play with him* #emotional support spork)

Woody: We gotta protect him! *Forky yeets himself in the trash*

Babysit him!

Woody kept throwing him on the bed continually every time he jumps in the trash. Woody cuddling against Bonnie.

Forky asleep with a paper on top of him in the trash.

Buzz: He’s quite a handful!

Woody grabbing Forky and freezing with him while Bonnie plays with them.

Tossing the trash can out of the RV.

Forky kept running from Woody.

Woody using his pull string as a lasso to grab Forky.

Randy Newman song!

Buzz noticing how tired Woody is and asking if he’s okay. Want me to take the next watch?

Buzz: The little voice inside me? Who do you think it is? Your inner voice advises you? *pushes button on himself*

Forky: I am not a toy. I’m a spork! I was made for soup, salad, and maybe even chili and then the trash. I’m litter! FREEDOM!! *flies out the window*

Woody: *out of the RV* Forky, where are you!? Forky: *face first in the ground*

The way Forky waddles, falls, then starts waddling again. Woody drags him on the road.

Forky: Carry me? Woody: No.

Woody: Happy memories for the rest of her life! Forky: Huh, what?

Fixing his pipe cleaner hand.

Forky: Wasn’t that annoying!? Woody: Thank you!! *about Buzz when talking about events from the first movie*

Forky: Useless? Just like me! Trash!

Forky: You mean she thinks I’m warm and cozy and squishy?

Forky: I’m Bonnie’s trash!

The way Woody holds Forky like a baby. (The sneaky music from Toy Story 2. I heard it!)

Forky running across the road to get to Bonnie.

Woody recognizing Bo’s lamp

Forky: Friend? Woody: A friend is like you and me! Forky: Trash? Woody: Yeah? #friendship goals

Second Chance Antiques. I finally get the name.

Forky shouting Bo’s name.B B B B B Bo!

*when Woody and Forky are hiding and Benson is pushing the carriage* Forky: Is that Bo? *screams when Benson turns his head*

Woody: This is Forky! Forky: I’m trash!

*Benson drops Woody and Forky in the carriage*

Forky: *in the carriage* Mh, what service.

Woody made in the 50’s. Cool!

Forky: Wow, you need to fix that! *about Gabby’s voice box*

Forky’s oblivious smile as the dolls surround them.

Gabby: Stop him, please. *haha, same*

Woody: Forky, we gotta get outta here! *holding his pipe cleaner arms as he runs away*

Old Lady: Nobody buys the toys anyway. *wink* (I think that’s true. All those creepy dolls..)

Jessie: Maybe we should’ve gone with the fork. Buzz: The spoon is safer. *cut to Bonnie holding a spoon*

Bonnie: There’s only one Forky! yep

Dad: Let’s go look outside. Maybe he fell on the ground.

Buzz: We should’ve guarded the utensil.

Buzz trying to assume being the leader.

What would Woody do?

Buzz flying!! Then falling with style on the ground.

Woody on the swing as Harmony pushes him. So cute.

The girl holding Bo, picks up Woody and ahhhh! My heart!

Woody and Bo trying to hug but it’s awkward.

More jinxing!

Woody: Well if it isn’t.. Bobby, Gus, Lefty?

The grape soda cap the sheep found! Clearly from Up!

Bo: Don’t stare. Giggle McDimples: I’m totally staring!

(He’s a cop! *Giggle about Woody*)

The Carls, the high fives and the one in white not getting a high five!

Carl: Way to beat the odds, soldier!

*Carl in white lingering as Woody doesn’t give him the high five*

Bo: You have a little girl? *when Woody tells her about Bonnie* 

When Woody tells the story of Bo and her lamp in Molly’s room. Oh, Woody! My heart!

The twirl hug!

Forky: When’s Woody coming back? *soon Forky*

Gabby: It’s tea time! Forky: Woo hoo! What’s tea time?

Forky: *helping Gabby with her tea skills* Little higher, stick out your pinky. *teach me, Forky*

Forky’s hand on top of Gabby trying to comfort her, then derp.

Gabby puling Forky in her lap.

Forky: I’ve known Woody my whole life! 2 days!

Ducky: In a galaxy far far away!

Buzz: *putting his helmet on and Duckys foot getting stuck*

Bo and her arm and screaming with Woody as he accidentally yanks it off.

Woody trying to grab Bo when she uses the sticky hand.

The lovesick look on Woody’s face.

(The ship it truck. We all drive it)

Buzz: Good work, inner voice!

Bo: Buzz? *as Woody talks about who’s left in the gang*

Buzz: Moving buddies! Woody, it’s Bo Peep!

Buzz’s button getting spammed as they roll down the roof. (probably a callback to Toy Story 2 when Zurg repeatedly spams the other Buzz’s button. Rex: But Buzz is in peril! *B B B Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!)

Rex: The panic is attacking me!

Buttercup: We could frame dad for a crime and get him in jail!

Bonnie: Can we leave a note for Forky? *awww*

Jessie: *after busting the tire with a nail* If you get my point! (point! Probably from Toy Story 3)

Pixar ball from upper view when Bo and the gang get in the shop.

Bunny: Who will Bonnie love more? Say me.

Bunny: All six eyes looking in my soul. *as they wander around the store*

*Your Forky* *to Woody*

Buzz: We can handle a cat.

Bunny and Ducky: Is that how we look in the inside? So much.. Fluff.

Forky trying to brush Gabby’s hair with the wrong side of the brush.

Forky: Such lovely hair.

Woody holding the phone with that look on his face. *he’s frozen there as a lady looks around*

*scene from the trailer with Ducky and Bunny* Buzz: We’re not doing that!

*she goes home* Giggle: Where is this going!? (She’s in bed and.. *screaming*)

Buzz: How do we get that key?

Forky: Woody’s back!? (Forky’s so excited.)

Tin man! Remember him from the Pixar Shorts or the brief moment in Toy Story 2 when Ham is clicking through the channels really quickly?

The bisexual lighting in the room in the “club” (if you want to think of it that way.)

Duke Caboom: Billy, Goat, Gruff? They’re my girls! *Woody rolls his eyes*

Duke Caboom: That toy sounds like a complete idiot! *about Woody*

Duke Caboom: It’s a commercial! It’s not real!

Duke Caboom: Be who I am right now. (really profound)

Duke: Yes I Canada!

Woody: How did you get the key? *flashback to Buzz and the others as they get the key, where the old lady places the key right in front of them* Buzz: It was very difficult!

Woody: You can’t teach this old toy new tricks.

Woody: I saw your lamp in the window and I thought you might be inside.

All the lamps and chandeliers were pretty.

Forky giggling which leads to Woody finding him in the box.

Bo: Wait, it’s an actual fork? B B B B Bo?

Bunny: I’m too cute to die!

Woody holding Forky like a weapon.

*Forky crying for help* Woody!

Shh, it’s okay. *Duke to his bike*

Woody’s determination to get Forky.

Woody: Because it’s all I have left to do! I don’t have anything else. (that made me cry)

Woody: It’s called loyalty.

Ducky: You’re crazy. *to Woody after they fight*

Woody: I don’t leave toys behind. Buzz: And he left me behind

Buzz didn’t want Woody to go back in the store.

Woody using the red pencil as a weapon.

Woody: I’m not leaving without Forky.

Gabby: Being there for a child is the most noble thing a toy can do. Proudly watching him grow up. *about Bonnie to Woody* Helping her when she needs it most. All I want is a chance, for just one of those moments. I’d give anything to be loved the way you have. Woody: Just leave me Forky.

Buzz: Bonnie will realize her backpack’s missing. Bonnie: Nope!

Buzz:  *after spamming his button and is about to be put away* Your backpack’s in the antique store, let’s go! (Haha, wonderful!)

Bo: *about Woody’s determination/loyalty* You gotta love him for it. 

Bo to Bunny and Ducky: We’re going back. We just got here! 

(Woody’s voice box being removed! So significant to me!) 

Gabby: My little utensil. 

Forky: Goodbye Benson! He is terrifying! 

Forky being happy for Gabby as the moment between her and Harmony is about to happen.

Forky: No no, Woody look! It’s happening!  *after Gabby is thrown in the box* Forky: Oh, I’m gonna cry. 

Forky and Woody being sad when Gabby is rejected.

Forky: What is a merry go round? Woody: It’s the spinning ride with horses and lights. Forky: You mean a carousel?   

Woody taking his hat off in sympathy for Gabby.

Bo and Gabby having a sense of understanding despite once being enemies.

Forky upside down in Bonnie’s hand.

Forky: He said to meet us at the carousel! The spinning ride with lights and horses! Woody told me so! 

The baby carriage knocked over and Benson was inside. The lady who found him screamed, lol

The whole GPS thing. (Like driving the pizza planet truck from Toy Story 2!)

Duke smacking in the target face first.

The gang taking over the RV.’

The little girl who’s lost, poor thing. She was so cute.

*as Mrs. Potato Head and Trixie mess with the wires* Cop: Pull over! Bonnie’s Dad: I can’t, this is a rental!

Lost Girl: *to Gabby* Are you lost too? I’ll help you. Can you help us? *to the security guard*

The female security guards helping to get the family together.

The happiness of reuniting a girl with a toy.

Three police cars following the RV.

Bonnie asleep the whole time while the RV is controlled by the toys.

Buttercup: Dad’s totally going to jail! Forky spamming the lock button.

*the kiss could’ve happened with the Ferris wheel in the background! But I’ll take a hug*

The callback to the scene under the car in the box between Bo and Woody at this moment.

Buzz: *as Woody walks up to him sadly after leaving Bo* She’ll be okay. *pause* Bonnie will be okay. (BUZZ!! How he understands Woody is so admirable!)

Buzz: Listen to your inner voice.

My heart!! That final shot with the original gang..

Woody giving Jessie his badge.

Everyone hugging Woody and then Woody and Buzz hugging. And then Forky hugging Woody. It killed me inside. (I’m crying.)

The way Woody chases after Bo on top of the carousel.

Forky: Does this mean Woody’s a lost toy? Buzz: He’s not lost anymore. 

Buzz: To infinity.. Woody: And beyond. *last lines of the movie*

The end credits. (comes in four parts.) Bo and Woody rigging the ride so all the toys are won. Plush Rush. Heck yes.

Duke: Do you really have laser eyes? Bunny: Yeah. Duke: Woah.

Buzz: How was present and explain!? *to Jessie when she returns from 1st Grade with Bonnie* Hamm: You mean show and tell?

Forky falling in love with the knife at first sight. The whole thing with Jessie introducing Knifey to the gang was like the beginning of the movie with Woody and Forky.

Forky: Unique, beautiful toys. Knifey: How am I alive? Forky: I don’t know. 

(Combat Carl were voiced by an actual Carl.

And those are most of the moments that I personally liked in chronological order!

 I’ve noticed that a lot of people were more satisfied with Toy Story 3 as the conclusion to the movies, but I loved what this movie had to offer. 

I didn’t mind Buzz being the comic relief in the movie, nor did I mind Ducky and Bunny. I wasn’t looking forward to Ducky and Bunny entirely because of the trailers, but I enjoyed them. 

To me, there was the matter of Dolly treating Woody a bit differently when he tries to handle the toys and when he does sneak off in Bonnie’s backpack to kindergarten with Bonnie. She assumes the role of leader and is a tad bit annoying to me. But it was short-lived, so I’m okay. 

Another moment is when Bo gets upset with Woody after he screws up the mission. it was a minor setback, and I think she overreacted. Same with the fight as everyone leaves Woody behind to fend for himself as he goes back to the antique shop. But those were the only things, so overall, this movie is one of my favorites and I’d love to see it again! Go ahead and judge these moments for yourself. Maybe we’ll have different opinions and views but it’s okay. Everyone’s opinion is valid.

[inkribbon796]

Arkham Mysteries Ch 1

Summary: Whispers of a horror time forgot and monster fueled by twisted magic The district of Arkham is home to powers old as the birth of the universe, and as new as modern technology.

In a little town outside of Gainesville, Florida children and adults go missing. Little Remus Prince becomes another childhood statistic, but he does not die like others before him.

A/N: Blood and gore warning! It’s Remus’s birthday and here’s a Lovecraft Au and there will be death in this one, but not to Remus or Janus. They are my babies.

Guess who’s getting back into the Lovecraft mythos after Color out of Space? It’s me, I love cosmic horror. So because I was bitten by some plot bunnies after that short I did during Darkstache Week, I wrote some more. When will I update this? Hell if I know maybe every third week, maybe once every two months. It depends but all of them will be compiled here instead of linked together shorts. Enjoy.

Chapters: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter 1: Snake in the Grass

It was a humid August day, the dusk of a new moon was about to rise up into the darkening sky.

Remus angrily kicked the wild flowers, angry as he tried to blink the tears from his eyes. He just wanted to play with Roman and his friends. But Roman always acted like he was the literal plague and at best ignored him, or at worst, pushed him away.

So he was walking around the woods behind their house, angry and sad, when he heard something.

Remus stopped, the sound was like a sob of pain mixed with some type of high pitched hiss of frustration. Looking around a bit for a good sized stick and immediately went to check the source of the noise.

Climbing over a downed tree trunk, Remus almost stepped on top of someone lying in a net trap, the boy’s arms trapped to his side, little metal studs painfully digging into his side and arms. What froze Remus wasn’t the fact that there was another kid lying in the trap, but that they didn’t have any legs. Instead there was a long yellow snake tail, patches of green scales like freckles on his body.

The snake boy immediately looked at Remus and hissed at him, one eye a dark brown, the other a bright yellow.

Remus just stared at the boy, so captivated by the sight of him. The snake boy then looked in another direction and gave a desperate hiss, almost screeching out. It was enough to shake Remus from his trance and he started working to get the boy out, almost getting bitten in the process.

It took a little bit and the boy started helping the instant his arms were free. Afterwards he let out an indignant hiss at the trap, as if screaming at it.

“So pretty,” Remus couldn’t help himself and touched where the boy’s legs should be. His scales were cold and smooth instead of slimy. Running down the snake boy’s spine was a short ridge of brown, white, and black feathers that bristled at the touch of Remus’s hands.

The snake boy started and dragged him into the tree stump, there was a hole that had been made by a couple animals before them. It was full of mushrooms and bugs and Remus was instantly enchanted by them.

“Ooh, this is one’s slimy,” Remus said.

The boy slapped his hand over his mouth. “Shhh!”

Remus noticed the palm of his hand had some scales on it and in a typical Remus fashion of not thinking and wanting to see what something tasted like, licked his hand. It tasted like blood and swamp mud.

“Ugh,” the snake boy hissed.

At that moment, four men came out of the bushes, making the boy press Remus closer to the squishy bottom of the rotting tree trunk. Remus watched in amazement as the bright yellow scales started to turn a mottled brown, successfully camouflaging him with the tree, and Remus with the tree in the process.

“The fuck he go?” One of men snarled, Remus finally noticing that the men all had rifles.

“Couldn’ta gone far,” one of the others reassured. “Look at all this blood.”

Remus noticed a particularly sharp stone lying in the trunk. He grabbed it and braced himself to lunge out and stab the hunter who was wandering closer to the mouth of the trunk.

There was a loud growling hiss and the men all turned away from the trap.

“What was that?”

“Probably a mama looking for her baby, with any luck.”

“Stay quiet,” the snake boy whispered. Then he let out a hissing caterwaul.

Remus heard the sound of a rifle being cocked back, he readied his little stone as someone knelt down and looked at the two of them. His eyes traveled around the hole until he noticed them.

“There you are,” he smiled.

Remus screamed and drove the stone into the man’s face. He screamed, the rifle fired, almost hitting one of the other hunters.

Suddenly the hunters had worse to deal with than a small child with a sharp stone and an injured naga in a tree trunk. Six large nagas, each twice the size of a human, surged out of the tree line, moving impossibly fast. The small yellow snake boy surged out of the trunk and wrapped around Remus, coiling his tail around him and forcing him to drop the stone. Remus watched as the four hunters were attacked, bullets bouncing off hardened scales like tiny pebbles.

Their screams were burned into his mind, grown men strangled until they were unconscious and then tied up for a better purpose.

The largest of the six nagas slid over to the two boys, Remus’s new friend’s coiled muscles tightening around Remus just a hair tighter. She just stared at them and the naga boy hissed warningly at her.

That got an amused chuckle out of her, she lowered down closer to  his level. “What do you have there, little Janny?”

“Mine,” Janus hissed, still protecting Remus.

“Little hatchling,” the serpentine humanoid smiled in such an odd way that made Remus reflexively giggle a bit, almost like his soul was trying to leave his body. “He’s a bit too big for you to eat.”

“You’re pretty,” Remus smiled, starting to reach out to touch that long, pretty black hair.

“Mine,” Janus hissed, coiling a bit tighter around Remus, hugging Remus so that the boy’s arms were pinned to his body. “I want to keep him.”

The woman looked behind her, talking to one of the other nagas in a language Remus didn’t understand, but it made this brain feel fuzzy. He liked it, giggling a bit. The other nagas laughed and Janus the naga let out an angry huff.

“May I speak with your pet?” The larger naga asked Janus. “I promise not to eat him.”

Janus began to uncoil himself, but kept a hand on Remus’s arm.

“Hello little monkey,” she greeted.

“Hello, ma’am,” Remus greeted politely, giving a toothy smile.

“Such a pleasant little thing,” she hissed lovingly.

“My momma says I’m a little monster,” Remus smiled confidently, a huge smile on his face.

“Hmmm,” she hissed, curling his hair behind his ear. “Really? What type of monster?”

Remus shrugged, his hands going up a bit, “She never told me, ma’am.”

“Would you like to come with us?” She asked. “We’re having a party to celebrate, we’ll eat your friends.”

“They’re not my friends,” Remus told her, picking up the still-bloody stone. “I stabbed one.”

“You are just a delight, aren’t you, little monkey?” She chortled.

“I don’t want him eaten,” Janus told her.

“We won’t,” she promised, and Janus dragged Remus along to follow the group. He followed them into a cave that led out into a cavern with a hole carved into the ceiling. So that when the moon was highest in the sky it would be visible, regardless of the time of the year.

There was a group of thirty snake people, but only one other child, and they instantly tried to bite Remus when he got close. Janus hissed at them and then dragged him away, presenting Remus with a little necklace made of leaves, flower stems, and sharp stones that caught the light of the moon.

For the first time in Remus’s young life he felt included in something, that he was wanted. More wanted than anyone or anything had made him feel in his life

As he sat, watching a ceremony that would culminate in four people being strangled and ripped to shreds to be eaten, blood covering a stone altar whose purpose Remus’s young, yet untainted mind couldn’t fathom.

Truthfully, Remus’s fate wasn’t to go home when he met Janus, but he wouldn’t fight the nest’s decision. He was already home.

~::~ 13 Years Later ~::~

Remus was humming a little tune to himself, holding a large stick that looked more like a mace with several nails and sharp objects driven through it.

“Hey, buddy,” someone suddenly behind Remus called out. He was armed. “It’s too dangerous for you to be here. ‘Sides it’s private property.”

Remus turned to look at him, itching the edge of his mustache. “Huh?”

The man could almost feel like something was wrong, like a particularly smart fish looking at a flashy lure. But he couldn’t exactly place, but he looked at this young man half his age, staring at a patch of swamp as if he planned to swim in crocodile-infested water.

“You shouldn’t be here, you have folks I can call?” The man asked. “This area’s full of gators.”

Remus let out a full body chuckle, smiling at him. “Oh I’m planning on it.”

Somewhere behind him the man heard the rustling and snapping of twigs. He started to check his gun as he turned to look behind him, seeing a dark shadow moving somewhere in the distance.

“Hey!” Remus shouted, running towards the man with his mace, the man cursed and started to raise his rifle towards him.

The man barely was half turned when something large slammed into him from the direction he’d just been facing. He was knocked to the ground, gun flying to the ground, discharging harmlessly into the forest. The man screamed as he felt something like a snake coiling around him but a flawed hand at his throat, ripping at the soft flesh of his throat to kill him even faster.

Remus stepped closer, his mace hiding behind his back like it was a surprise. He smiled as he kicked the rifle into the small, nearby swampy lake.

The man was weakly fighting as the large, yellow serpentine body continued crushing and constructing. Words bubbles in his throat but because of his state he couldn’t make words.

Remus leaned in, stroking Janus’s side as he spoke to the man, “Shhh, don’t fight, it prolongs it, and I hear a brain hemorrhage sours the taste.”

He finally took a couple steps back and leaned on his mace as he watched.

Janus’s victim didn’t last much longer the claws mixed with a crushing strength of serpentine muscles against a human rib cage . . . well, it would have been laughable to even admit he stood a chance.

Because Remus was standing close enough, but not close enough to be a threat to an apex creature’s newest meal, he got blood spattered on him as he watched another human die.

After Janus was done feeding, he looked over at Remus, his iris narrowed slits.

“How was he ma moitié,” Remus grinned, waving his fingers at the naga.

The yellow naga slid over, coiling loosely around Remus and leaning down to kiss him. Remus felt all the tension leave his body when their lips touched.

“You did wonderfully,” Janus praised, tracing the bottom of Remus’s face.

Remus let out a giggle cackle, jumping up excitedly, “Do we have to head back to the nest? It’s been ages since I stretched my legs.”

“Well we do have a bit of time,” Janus smiled. “Can’t let my favorite pet go stir crazy.”

The human let out a wild giggle that reeked of madness, “I’m your only pet, Dee.”

“True,” Janus’s right eyebrow arched. “I do always like to keep you on your toes. Let’s go before I fall asleep.”

“Yay,” Remus scrambled over part of Janus’s body, already starting to scramble down the path. As he walked, taking a long, slow stride, the nearly silent sliding of a large snake in the forest turned into the soft footfall of feet on dirt.

Remus turned around to see Janus following him, walking backwards, the naga looking human but with an air of not looking quite right. The left side of his face and hands covered in green and yellow scales. He left out a trilling bird call, hissing through his teeth. “Always such a looker ma moitié.”

“Focus on the road, I’d love for you to trip and gash your head open,” Janus’s hiss was almost a warm purr.

“I walk just fine,” Remus laughed, right before tripping over a large rock. Janus let out a higher pitched laugh.

Remus groaned a bit at the sharp pain in his ankle, but smiled at the laughter from his serpentine boyfriend. The nagas were a sadistic bunch, and Remus could only feel a similar giggle bubbling from his body, it felt so good to hear Janus laugh.

Janus let out a warning hiss right before someone’s voice said, “You boys okay?”

Janus quickly turned the left side of his face to hide his scales, burying his hands in his cloak. An older woman was coming down the trail.

Jumping up, Remus stood in front of Janus, “Oh we’re fine, just tripped is all.”

“Oh, I just heard some screaming is all,” she said. “I was just worried, is all. Do you boys live near here?”

“Yes,” Remus answered, trying to hide his nervous giggle. “Just moved in, city life is so stifling.”

The old woman just smiled, “It’s so good to see young people moving back into the village.”

“Yeah, well,” Remus smiled. “We’re okay, do you need help back to the village?”

“What are you doing?” Janus hissed demandingly, the hairs on the back of Remus’s neck stood on end in dangerous discomfort.

“Just trust me, it’s a town,” Remus whispered, and walked over to the woman.

“Aren’t you a nice gentleman?” The older woman smiled, but squinted her eyes a bit when he got closer. “Have we met before?”

“Maybe?” Remus shrugged, starting to head in the direction the woman had come from.

“Yes, you’re Miranda’s boy, always such a sweet boy,” she smiled pleasantly as something painful began to boil in Remus’s heart. Something that the human thought he had killed and buried years ago.

“I thought you went off to the big city?” She asked.

“Surprise?” Remus grinned, she smiled back.

They walked for a bit, the woman talking and Remus trying not to scream and alert more humans. Janus was just silently watching him, following at a distance, still looking human enough to fool most actual humans. Eventually it was all over, the woman lived towards the edge of town and Remus waved her goodbye, refusing to come inside. He felt like his skin was trying to crawl away from him.

Finally the door was closed and Remus stared at the town, barely visible through the trees.

“Are you quite done?” Janus huffed, clearly angry.

“Where are we?” Remus asked.

Janus was quiet for a second, clearly upset and angry. “I don’t know, we try to stay away from this place, it’s too big for us to take.”

“Why stay away? You could glut yourself on this town for decades and no one would know.”

“Because I found you near here,” Janus commented.

Something uncomfortable stabbed at Remus’s heart, of a small boy whose only playmate never wanted him around.

“Let’s burn it to the ground,” Remus growled maliciously.

Whatever reaction Janus expected from the human, it clearly hadn’t been willful arson.

“It’s unsafe, our nest is too close,” Janus warned.

“We’re due to move again, and the new moon is coming up, the Grand Leader was complaining yesterday about not having enough sacrifices,” Remus’s grin was impossible to wipe off his face, he gestured to the town in the distance. “Here’s more than we could ever need. Yig would be so pleased.”

“Enough!” Janus hissed, his features more monstrous. The naga grabbed Remus by the arm and began pulling him back to the nests. “What have we told you about invoking his name? You are still human, never forget that!”

Once they were far enough away Janus turned back into his proper form. “You are not leaving me, you swore to me with your own blood. You are mine, Remus, those filthy humans can’t have you.”

“I don’t want to go back, I want them dead!” Remus shouted back, bravely looking into the naga’s eyes. “I want them all dead.”

Janus seemed to calm down a bit, stroking the side of Remus’s face. “Yes, of course. I’ll talk with the others, but I’m not making any promises.”

Remus leaned into the touch, trying to calm the bloodlust inside of him. He would be back, with or without the Grand Leader’s permission. The town would burn, and maybe the smog in his heart would finally lift.

He followed his love back to the naga nests, he’d find his brother again and wet his blood on the new moon altar.

Or he would die trying.

[vagrantblvrd]

Creature Feature 1/1

Summary: Michael hisses when he gets grabbed and slammed up against the wall of a building.

Notes: Not the thing I planned to write today, and yet here we are. Because reasons.

(Read on AO3)

Michael hisses when he gets grabbed and slammed up against the wall of a building. Just yanked right out of his bat out of hell running for his life thing he’s doing by an inconsiderate bastard with inhuman strength and thrown up against a rough brick wall, head hitting it with jarring force and a smug vampire asshole smirking at him once the starts clear from his eyes.

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters, grip on the stake in his hand shifting when he sees the fuckers who were chasing him skid to a stop when they realize what happened.

He watches them look at one another in confusion, young, newly turned and so out of the loop it’s kind of sad. A few days old at this point if he had to guess, match up against the news reports of missing people and bodies showing up.

Dangerous as fuck, what with the hunger for blood gnawing at their bellies and close to feral with it. More instinct at this point than anything else, but still thinking, reasoning beings. (Unless they choose not to be, which is what people like Michael are for.)

Whoever sired them already dead or the kind of fucker who just doesn’t care, left them to fend for themselves without even a basic How To Vampire tutorial which is a dick move in and of itself, okay. Makes things harder on people like Michael who have to clean up their messes because -

A rough shake drags Michael's attention back to the real threat here.

Asshole who snagged him pelting past like it was nothing. Tall, broad-shouldered and that fucking smirk.

Pain in Michael’s ass from day one, thinks he’s – as Lindsay would say – all that and a bag of chips and   infuriating as fuck.

Old, too.

Like.

Just unbelievably, incredibly old. Super fucking old. So old -

The vampire scowls like he knows what Michael’s thinking and lifts Michael until his toes are barely touching the ground like he thinks that’s just so scary.

Michael gives him a smirk of his own, raises his hand to show off the stake he’s still holding.

Not exactly a stalemate, because vampire strength and speed and everything else against pitiful human abilities, but like hell is he going to let the bastard think he’s intimidated.

“Hey!”

It’s one of the baby vampires, voice rough with the effects of being turned. All that screaming they do when it’s ugly the way it must have been with this batch.

Kids, all of them. College students in town to have a good time and running into trouble that got them dead...and then undead, and it’s a fucking mess to be honest. Happens way too often for anyone’s good no matter how hard Michael works to put a stop to it.

“He’s ours, get your own!”

Baby vampire number two, hiding behind his buddies and trying to act tough because they outnumber the vampire that’s got Michael in his grip, sure, but goddamn are they dumb.

The vampire holding him growls, this deep rumbling thing and Michael knows what’s coming. Braces himself for it when the asshole flings him aside like he weighs nothing and moves towards the trio of baby vampires.

It’s a graceless affair on Michael’s part, goes sprawling, heart picking up as he hears the snarling and swearing and dying going on behind him as the older vampire tears into the baby ones.

Too dangerous to be left to their own devices and unwilling to listen to reason, which always sucks, no pun intended.

Hurts a little to see even though Michael’s not supposed to care about that part. (Nowhere in the job description for being what he is.)

By the time he picks himself up it’s all but over. Older, experienced vampire facing down the leader of the baby vampires, other two unmoving on the ground.

The baby vampire looks down at his buddies, and then his gaze slides past the older vampire and locks onto Michael.

Stupid squishy human, and Michael has a moment to think oh, Goddammit, because this always fucking happens doesn’t it? And then the baby vampire flashes forward (fucking vampires and their fucking speed) intent on taking Michael down with him because sure, why the fuck not -

And gets a rude awakening when the older vampire pulls the same trick with him he did with Michael.

Not so much a trick as that experience thing again, old enough to make the most of the reflexes he’s been granted and all that.

Only this time, the asshole isn’t as gentle about it.

No.

Grabs the stupid fucker and shoves him, right into the stake Michael’s holding out like he knew it would be there.

Michael grunts as the impact pushes him back a few steps and meets the baby vampire’s eyes.

The poor bastard looks shocked at this turn of events, like he didn’t think it would go like this for him. All that newfound strength, speed, and it didn’t do him a damn bit of good in the end.

Vampires don’t poof the way they do in the movies, television shows. All the books people have written about them over the years.

Don’t crumble into dust blown away by a convenient gust of wind or gentle breeze all nice and neat and aesthetically pleasing or some bullshit.

They just die.

Ugly and messy and real.

Michael lets go of the stake, lets gravity do the work as the dead vampire falls to the ground.

Looks up at the sound of footsteps and gives ground when the older vampire advances on him. Pushes him up against the building again, less force to it this time.

“Hey,” Michael says as the vampire gets in his face to glare at him. “Fancy meeting you here.”

The vampire thumps him against the wall, a warning, and Michael snorts.

“Okay, so, are we fighting or are we flirting? Because I’m getting mixed signals here,” he says, hand coming up to rest against the asshole’s chest.

No heartbeat, just the steady thrum of whatever the hell keeps vampires going. Magic or something else, no one really knows anymore.

Blood they drink circulating through their bodies and somethingsomethingsomething Unknowable Bullshit to explain what they do know.

The vampire’s eyes narrow.

“My fangs are literally inches from your throat right now.”

Yeah.

Yeah they are.

By all rights Michael should hb reaching for his backup stake, and Jesus, how ridiculous does that sound in his head? Should be going for it, drive it through the asshole’s chest right into his heart, but that would just be all kinds of rude and ill-mannered of him.

Also?

It would fuck up his dating life, or whatever the hell he should call it. (Aside from a blatant conflict of interests, but it’s not like there are rules forbidding something like this, so. Fuck off.)

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Michael says, and this time he laughs when the poor bastard sighs.

Tired.

Long-suffering.

Expression on his face like he has no damn clue why he puts up with such an exasperating annoyance of a pest, and yet?

“Thanks for the save, but I had everything under control,” Michael says, and wriggles until the vampire lets him go.

It’s not ego that has Michael saying that, just. Years of experience dealing with vampires and other things that go bump in the night. Being on his home turf, so to speak and knowing the area better than the poor bastards who made the mistake of thinking he looked like an easy target.

Wanting them away from any idiot who might get caught up in things, make a more tempting target, hostage, and complicate matters.

“You always say that,” the vampire accuses, eyes flicking to that nasty little scar on Michael's neck, souvenir from when he first started out and had no damn clue what he was getting himself into.

That’s...not untrue.

Just.

“Shut up,” Michael says, because it’s not like the asshole doesn’t pull the same bullshit on him.

There’s another little stare-down, and then the vampire sighs. Again. Like dealing with Michael is an ordeal when it’s the exact opposite. He’s a fucking delight, okay.

Michael watches the vampire as he pinches the bridge of his nose, mutters to himself about idiot humans and one idiot vampire hunter in particular. Bane of his existence and so goddamned dumb it’s just. Real fucking sad.

Rolls his eyes as the asshole just keeps going on and on about it and dusts himself off. Checks to make sure his gear is all in order and runs a hand through his hair. Always a jumbled mess but with the earlier chase and being tossed around it’s in an even worse state.

Glances down at himself to make sure he’s more or less presentable and goes over to the idiot grumbling to himself.

Clears his throat to catch his attention and smiles when the asshole looks up at him.

Annoyed expression because he’s worked himself up, hasn’t he. Forced to acknowledge the major mistake he’s made in getting involved with a disaster of a human being like Michael and everything that goes along with that.

“Hey,” he says, because third time’s the charm? “Got any plans for the rest of the night?”

There’s a moment where Michael thinks he’ll pick up his rambling rant about Michael and his stupidity again, but then he just.

Sighs.

Shakes his head because he knows Michael’s stubborn as hell, and just real dumb too when it comes down to it.

Not about to change his ways even if it would be better for him in the long run. Cut down on medical costs at the very least.

“Well,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I doubt the restaurant held our reservation.”

Michael winces, because yes. Okay. That one’s definitely on him.

“Sorry about that,” he says. “Something came up.”

Michael on his way to meet up for their date and strange noises he heard down a dark alley. And yes, he knows that’s how horror movies start. Michael just has this whole thing going in his life where he does the exact opposite of what any sane person does in that situation.

And then vampires. Sometimes werewolves. Other times -

Well.

There are a lot of things that go bump in the night and Michael’s one of the people around who deals with them when they crop up.

So.

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

Michael grins up at the asshole because he’s gone all soft and fond on him. Dopey little smile on his face that hits Michael the same way it always does because Ryan, Jesus, he’s a soft touch.

Plays at being this dark and menacing figure like out of all the worst movies you can find out there. Melodramatic bastards still stuck in their emo goth phase like you wouldn’t believe, but really?

Big old dork.

“I heard the theater down on Lincoln’s playing a Star Trek movie marathon,” he offers, and starts walking in that direction knowing Ryan will follow.

Better to leave the alley and the dead vampires behind before anyone sees them there, connects the dots and lands them in the kind of trouble they don’t need more of.

Ryan tips his head to the side, this dumb game he plays where he wants Michael to convince him. Toss in an incentive to give in to his inner nerd like it’d take much at this point.

Michael eyes him. Tries to figure out what it’ll take this time.

Food-related, because Ryan.

Still loves to eat even though it doesn’t sustain him the way blood does, but he’s got a definite weakness for it. Favorites. Things he loves in the most ridiculous ways.

“And, I’ll even spring for concessions.” Leans in with a little eyebrow waggle as he lowers his voice “All the diet soda you can drink.”

Ryan laughs, quiet little chuckle, and slides a look at Michael.

Old fucker, seen a lot of things in his time and for whatever reason sees something in Michael, which. Time to get his eyes checked, but whatever.

Not Michael's call if he’s going to make a mistake like that, you know? (Enjoy it while he can and try not to think to hard on it in the meantime.)

Not his problem if Ryan’s got a thing for this scruffy little punk tossed into the deep end of things after moving out here, running into trouble and still neck deep in it. (No pun intended.)

Loud-mouthed and obnoxious about it, bound to get himself killed doing what he does one of these days, and no one’s fault but his own.

“Fine,” Ryan says, like it’s such a hardship to watch old Star Trek movies and guzzle down his beloved diet soda. An ordeal to do it with Michael right next to him heckling the hell out of the dumb movies they love so much. “If we must.”

Oh, how terrible it will be. The two of them in the dark watching quasi-terrible movies and enjoying themselves.

The horror.

Ryan huffs, because he knows Michael pretty well by now. Knows he’s making fun of him in his head, and shoots him this little scowl like he thinks that will make him stop.

Which.

No.

“Impossible,” Ryan mutters, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and sulking, the big baby. “Absolutely impossible.”

Michael will give him that one, sure, but Ryan’s the one who keeps coming back for more, what the hell does that make him?

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Double Feature