#I WISH THERE WAS AN OFF SWITCH TO THE AGONY BECAUSE IT'S CAUSING ME TO LOSE ABSOLUTELY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CHANCES AT EVERYTHING IN LIFE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wonsroyalty · 4 days ago

Text

predictable, 박종성

pairing/warnings - 2.3k,, spider-man!jay x f!reader, college/uni students, switch!jay x switch!f reader,, smut, blood, wounding 🔥

a/n: no fancy theme because i’m writing this on a whim: inspired by this tiktok i saw earlier, no doubt mv has actually changed me and i loveeeeee jay so enjoy🤗

masterlist

You sat in your bedroom tapping your pen unconsciously at your desk.

“I need the report in for tomorrow, Yn. You’ve already had a week.”… You remembered the head of the school newsletter scolding you earlier.

How on earth did she think that you could gain access to the football team in order to ask them about their frat lifestyle AND write up everything from your seven-hour interview as a small section in such a short amount of time.

You thought back to your best friend Jay.

He’d always had a way with words and you knew that if he were with you he’d say something like, “Sunghoon said he’s ditching his playboy rep to focus on himself, weirdo because he literally threw himself at you during this interview, you can simplify it to ‘I’m a lame loser who doesn’t get any hoes because I fucked around and found out’, done!”

A giggle slipped from your lips at the thought of imaginary Jay but you quickly gained composure because the thought of having to pull an all nighter, in order to finish, didn’t seem appealing.

And the fact that Jay had turned down your plan of him helping you because he claimed he had “important business” whipped you into shape.

Ding!

7 messages from mother🐻

hey pumpkin!

i may be later than usual tonight

just been told to prep for emergency surgery

left your dinner in the oven to heat up

first aid kit above the front cabinet

don’t hurt yourself pls!!!

love you bye 🥰

You reacted with a heart and wished her luck then threw your phone onto your bed.

The upper half of your body slumped onto the desk.

“I’m so screwed.” you whispered in defeat.

Your phone then began to ring causing a loud groan to leave your throat as your body lugged itself to the source.

“Hey Jay, what’s up?” you sighed. “What do you want?”

“Open your window.” he panted out.

You could hear sirens in the background and Jay didn’t sound too good.

“Whats happening right now? Are you okay?”

“Open the window, please.” he begged. “Trust me, just open it!”

“I don’t trust you.” You joked. “Besides which one would I open, there’s three.”

Jay started shouting at someone on the other end of the line.

“Fuck!” he groaned in agony. “The- the one facing central park.”

“Uh.. okay. I just did it.”

“Step back! Like backkkk.” he warned.

“Moving back as I speak.” you sighed. “Is this the super important thing you had to do?”

You had spoken too soon.

A man precisely shot his body through the gap of your window then slammed it shut behind him and slumped onto the ground.

“Spider-man?! What the..” you stepped towards him tentatively. “Are you- wait Jay! Oh my, I think he’s hurt.”

You began to type out a message to the boy when Spider-man ripped his mask off.

“Jay Park?! You have got to be shitting me!” you gaped. “What the fuck?!”

Jay winced in pain as he shot a web at your jumper to pull you down towards him.

He’d pulled you off balance and while your legs straddled his hips, your hands fell onto the gaping wound in his abdomen.

“Stay down.” he whined. “Can’t let them see.”

“Them..?” you mouthed.

“I was in the middle of a fight.” he rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

“We’re gonna talk about this later, I need to close that up.” you glared at him.

His head hit the wall behind him as he began to register the state he was in.

You crawled out of the room and ran over to the cabinet that your mother left the first aid in. Nimble fingers turning the oven and a timer on your way out so that Jay would have something to eat before he left.

If any other friend of yours were in this situation, you would’ve patched them up, scolded them and sent them on their way.

But with Jay, you always wanted to keep him around because you… liked him.

You had to stop yourself from checking him out when you got back to your room, he’d pulled his suit down to his hips, toned stomach on display.

“You sure you know what you’re doing..?” he frowned.

Instead of responding you shoved a piece of cloth into his mouth.

“Bite on it.”

Jay used his free hands to pull the cloth out. His hands reached into the box to grab a painkiller and swallow it dry.

“Ew.” you sneered. “I have water..”

He ignored you. “There’s nothing in the wound, I already checked.”

Taking alcohol, you cleaned the outside of the wound and prepped your synthetic polymer fibres.

As soon as the cool metal pierced Jay’s skin he began to squirm around.

His jaw flexed as he groaned out in pain.

“Please stop moving, Jay,” you begged. “It’s gonna hurt more if you keep moving.”

Despite your plea, he continued to twist and turn.

You groaned in frustration.

“Stop moving!”

The cloth was placed in his mouth again and you got up onto your knees to snatch the scarf that dangled off your bed frame.

Your hands grabbed his wrists and tied them behind his back, double knotting the scarf so that he wouldn’t move.

Jay thrashed around trying to rip out of the restraints.

“Okay, calm down, I’m starting again,”

You slowly but surely sutured the wound and wrapped his waist in a bandage.

Jay whimpered.

“Huh?” your head snapped up as you took the cloth out of his mouth.

Without missing a beat, he leaned forward and kissed you.

Your fingers automatically made their way into his hair as you licked along his bottom lip.

He opened his mouth and pressed his tongue flat against yours before fighting for dominance in your mouth.

You couldn’t get enough. Your lungs gasped for air as you continued to practically eat his face off.

Subconsciously you lowered your hips onto his, rolling to get friction from his semi hard on against your pulsing core.

“Fuck.” he whimpered. Again.

“Always whining,” you teased him. “Never thought you’d be such a bottom, Jongie.”

He ripped the scarf as he broke free from the restraints.

Now you were the one whining.

“All I did was rip the scarf and you’re already dripping into my lap, who’s the real bottom here?” he mocked you with a fake look of shock all over his face. “Always wanted to have you under me..”

His words had your hips rutting against his, pathetic moans leaving your throat.

“Do I even have to do anything or will you get off just like this?” he grinned, marking up your neck.

A faint beeping broke you out of your trance.

“AHHHH! THE OVEN!”

You got up immediately, ignoring the way your fuzzy cat pyjamas clung to your lower body, and ran to the kitchen.

Thankfully the food wasn’t burnt but you clutched your heart as Jay launched himself onto your waist.

“I meant to say thank you.” he whispered.

His fingers made their way to where you needed him most, circling your clit through the fabric.

“Yeah- right. You.. You’re welcome.” you moaned at the end of your sentence, the pressure building up.

“Is this okay..?” he asked.

“Yes.” you nodded.

Jay pulled away laughing at your protest.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

You kept your lips shut. There was no way in hell that you were gonna submit to him so easily.

“Come on, baby.” he stared down at you through half lidded eyes. “Tell me where you want me..”

You shook your head, stubbornness radiating off your body.

“Is it here?” Jay asked.

His fingers unbuttoned your shirt, gasping at your uncovered chest as he tugged at your nipples.

A loud whine left your lips.

“Sensitive.. I see.” he looked determined.

“I’m not.” you grumbled.

He grazed your left nipple with his teeth, fondling the other with his warm hand.

“Fuck.” you moaned as his wet tongue circled the sensitive spot.

“You’re not huh?” he shook his head at your lie.

“Jay please.” you whined, hips chasing his.

“Please what?” he leaned away.

You swallowed your pride for the sake of your pleasure.

“I need you.” you moaned. “Need your fingers inside me.”

Jay lowered his head as an overwhelming wave of pleasure hit his body. He always knew that he’d liked you, but those words sent him over the edge.

He needed to have you immediately.

“Say it again.” he growled.

Once his lust filled eyes made eye contact with yours, you clenched your legs together.

“I need you so bad, Jay.” you whined.

He manhandled your body onto the kitchen counter, ripping off your pyjama bottoms and underwear in one go.

His tongue licked a stripe up your dripping hole, collecting the slick that leaked out.

Jay closed his eyes, taking in the taste.

“You taste so fucking good.” he whined.

Without missing the chance to take advantage of his submissive state, you tugged at his hair.

“Fuck..” he moaned loudly.

“You’re so hot.” you whimpered.

Seeing him like this made you feel a certain way.

He eagerly embraced your clit with his tongue and shoved his fingers into your cunt. They scissored you open before curling into you at a rapid pace.

Your hips thrashed up, chasing your high, not even caring about the loud sounds leaving your mouth and lewd sounds coming from Jay.

“You close?” he asked between moans.

You nodded, unable to form proper sentences.

“You have to ask.” Jay firmly stood his ground.

“Jay, please. Please let me cum!” you pathetically begged.

“Okay, princess.” he nodded. “Come for me..”

The orgasm hit you like five trucks, it truly felt never ending as Jay helped you through it.

Once your body recovered, you jumped down onto shaky legs attacking Jay’s lips as you pushed him backwards.

He absentmindedly followed the direction, tripping backwards as his legs made contact with your bed.

“Close your eyes.”

Jay made himself comfortable, lying down with his eyes closed.

“Wait- what!” his eyes shot open.

You’d handcuffed him to the headboard.

“Now why do you have these..” he questioned.

“Was saving them for when you’d come around.” you whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine. “Now i’m gonna help you, with your little problem.”

You gestured to the way his cock painfully throbbed in the tight material of his suit.

“It’s not a little problem- Shit.”

He closed his eyes as you grabbed at his crotch.

You left kisses down his body, licking his abs before pulling the rest of his suit off.

His cock slapped up against his stomach causing him to moan loudly.

“How are you so wet..?” you questioned in awe, staring at him in disbelief.

“Stop staring at me..” he blushed.

“You weren’t lying about this not being a little problem.” you praised, licking a stripe along the underside. “You’re so big, so thick.”

Jay’s hips thrusted up, more precum leaking out.

“Please.. help me.” he cried.

“Don’t cry, baby,” you wiped away the tear that left his eye, babying him. “I’ll help you.”

Instead of sucking him off, you lowered your hips onto his dick.

Jay felt like he was going to explode.

“Fuck! You’re so tight,” he moaned.

The stretch had your eyes rolling back.

Hands falling onto his chest for support, you slowly found your own pace to bounce at.

“Please let me touch you..” he begged.

“No.” you scolded. “I’m going to go at my pace and you’re gonna get off this way.”

Tears were fully streaking down his face at this point.

His balls were heavy and tip throbbing, the sensation being too much for him to handle.

You continued to bounce on him, eyes closing at the pleasure of his thickness rubbing against your walls.

The moans leaving your throat increased in volume as slick gushed out of your pussy. The thought of using Jay had you excited.

Seeing you on top of him, using him for your own pleasure had Jay going insane.

He broke out of the handcuffs and flipped you onto your stomach.

“Fuck! Jay, right there!” you cried out in surprise.

His palms smacked at your ass, rapidly pushing you back onto his dick.

“Wait.. wait I wanna see your face when I cum.” he whined, flipping your body over.

Your legs rested on his shoulders as you cried at the newer, deeper angle.

His balls smacked against your ass as he slammed his hips against yours.

“Jay, I can’t,” you moaned.

“Yes you can.” he growled. “I’m so close.”

His hips began to falter before they stilled, shooting cum deep inside you.

You came right after him, his whines and moans setting you off.

Jay slumped onto your body, cradling your face with his hands.

“I like you so so much.” he confessed, kissing you sweetly.

“Well I think I’ve liked you for longer.” you laughed.

“If you say so.” he giggled, hugging your chest. “That was so good, I don’t think I’ll ever let you have anyone other than myself.”

“Same here.” you played with his hair. “WAIT FUCK MY PAPER!”

THE END.

bonus scene:

After getting cleaned up and eating (Jay forced you to) you sat on his lap at your desk, typing onto your desktop computer.

He read out the transcript and helped you summarise it into text.

“Sunghoon says that he’s ditching his playboy rep to focus on himself, weirdo because I remember him throwing himself at you during this interview hoping that you’d give him attention, you can simplify it to ‘I’m a lame ass bitch who doesn’t get any hoes’ he truly did fuck around and find out!”

You laughed at his words.

“I knew you’d say something like that.”

He snuggled up to your back.

“So I’m getting predictable now, huh…”

You shook your head. “Never..”

“Guess our date will have to be something you wouldn’t expect.”

He was right, you really didn’t expect lunch on top of Brooklyn Bridge.

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camsthisky · 3 years ago

Note

"you’re not alone . you’re stuck with me forever . sorry . ” + Jason and Dick (and anyone other family member)?

“Everyone okay?” Dick croaks as the dust and rubble settles around them. He’s lying on his back, kept still by something pinning his legs down. He doesn’t dare assess himself quite yet. “Hood? Batgirl?”

“Okay,” Cass says, and Dick watches as she stumbles over to him, looking dusty, but relatively alright. She kneels next to him with a frown. She meets his eyes—well, relatively since they’re both wearing masks—and asks, “Okay?”

Dick grimaces. “Not really.” Louder, he calls, “Red Hood?!”

“Here, here,” Jason says, coughing into his fist. He’s missing his helmet and there’s a gash sluggishly bleeding from his right cheek, smearing a trail of blood down his face. He’s also limping, but only slightly.

“Can you move?” Cass asks Dick as Jason pulls out his flashlight.

Dick winces at the sudden light, his mask having already automatically switched to night vision. He huffs. “Jay. Off.”

“Names.”

Dick scowls. “The light.”

“Deal with it,” Jason snaps. “My night vision isn’t working.”

Dick turns off his own night vision feature, if only to not be blinded by the damn flashlight if it passes over his eyes again.

That’s when Jason’s flashlight lands on where Dick is pinned.

“Crap,” Jason breathes.

“Can you move them?” Cass asks, sounding a touch more impatient, and Dick realizes that Cass has already asked once. “Your legs.”

“No,” says Dick, just barely trying. He’s tired, but he knows that time is up. He can’t get away with ignoring his own situation any longer. Probably shouldn’t have even waited this long. His legs are tingling from lack of blood flow, mixing with a sharp pain shooting through them both. Still he’s lucky, because—“I can still feel them, though.”

“We’ll lift,” Jason says to Cass, who nods. Dick closes his eyes and braces himself for the inevitable pain of rubble being lifted off his crushed legs.

“Hhh.”

The sounds he makes is nothing more than an agonized hissed through his teeth, and Dick can’t help the cold sweat that sweeps across his body in a slow wave as his siblings manage to move the slab of—wall, maybe? who knows, really—from where it’s crushing his poor legs.

Something taps against his shinbone and then his kneecap.

“Stop, stop, I feel it,” Dick gasps, bringing his legs up in a protective curl as pain throbs through most of his lower body. His left hip hurts like hell, and his every muscle, bone, and tendon feels like they’ve been squeezed and then flattened like a pancake. He rolls over onto his side so he can bring his knees up to his chest, to wait out the lingering intensity of the pain.

“Breathe,” Cass says.

Dick breathes.

He closes his eyes and blocks out everything and, again, just breathes. His siblings let him.

When he has a better grasp on his agony, Dick finally relaxes. The world filters back in. Cass is running fingers through Dick’s dusty hair (something she one hundred percent learned from Bruce, because only a select few know how much the motion tends to calm him down).

On the other hand, Dick blinks his eyes open to find Jason agitatedly pacing.

“The hell?” Jason murmurs, his flashlight whipping back and forth with his movements as he surveys their surroundings. “Did we get completely sealed in?”

Dick wishes desperately he would stop. Even without night vision, Jason’s impromptu strobe light effect is causing Dick’s head to ache. Instead of saying this, he hums contemplatively. “Wonder if there’s a signal this far down.”

Jason huffs, not slowing in the least. He’s searching for something, and dear god does Dick want him to find it already. “You’re the one with the comms in your ear. You try it.”

They’re in the sewers, is the thing. And while Bruce and Babs have designed the comms system to work incredibly well, even in the sewers, the signal still needs to be able to make it to the system in order to be functional.

With the three of them sealed in this place, seemingly with no way out, pretty deep in the sewer system where they had been disabling bombs throughout the city, Dick isn’t optimistic about their chances of getting a signal.

(They’d just been a few seconds too late for that last bomb, which unfortunately led them to their current circumstances.)

While Jason grumbles, Cass activates her emergency signal and the comms. She calls out, “Batman? Oracle?”

Jason shuts up for the five seconds before Cass looks between both Dick and Jason and shakes her head.

Dick lets out a slow exhale through his nose. He hadn’t really held out much hope for that anyways.

Jason groans. “Holy batcannoli, I can’t believe we’re stuck down here. And where’s my hecking helmet?!”

Cass helpfully points to the rubble sealing them in. Jason kicks a rock with a yell. Dick sighs.

“Well, at least you’re not alone down here,” Dick says as optimistically as he can—although, given the circumstances, it does fall a little flat.

Jason snorts. “Right. Sure, Batgirl is an asset, but you’re a sack of bruised bones right now. That’s not helpful in the slightest, Dickface.”

Dick’s eyelashes flutter of their own accord. He hums. “Too bad. Looks like you’re stuck with me. Sorry.”

“Dick,” Cass says, her fingers tracing lightly over his face. “Stay awake.”

“I am awake.”

“You’re starting to—” Cass pauses. Dick can’t see the look on her face, because somehow, his eyes have fully closed without his permission, and he can’t seem to find the strength to open them again. “—to slur.”

The sounds of Jason’s pacing stop. Silence rings loud in their sealed section of the sewers. Then, “Did he hit his head?”

“Not sure,” Cass answers.

“Dick,” Jason says, sounding quite a bit closer, like he’s maybe crouching down next to Cass or something—but Dick hadn’t heard him move, and Jason’s boots are too clunky to not make sound against the concrete. “Dick, did you hit your head?”

Dick’s eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t open his eyes. He doesn’t remember hitting his head. The only thing he clearly remembers about the blast is heavy pieces of rubble crushing his legs. “Maybe?”

“Great,” Jason says. He’s pulling out his I’m-rolling-my-eyes-at-your-ridiculous-incompetency voice. “So my bruised bones of a big brother probably also has a concussion. Just great.”

“It’s not his fault he’s injured,” Cass tells Jason. “He was disarming the bomb.”

Which means Dick took the brunt of the blast when it was remotely activated.

Dick really means to tack onto Cass’s statement, maybe tease Jason a little and try to reassure both his younger siblings that not everything is hopeless, because he’s the best big brother ever, of course.

Only, he can’t find the strength to open his mouth and talk. Instead, the voices around him become watery, distorted, and Dick’s head flares in pain.

When unconsciousness comes to take him, he doesn’t resist.

—

“—manage to even find us in the first place?” is the first thing Dick hears as he swims back to consciousness. Jason almost sounds relieved.

“The seismic device didn’t just affect the sewers,” someone replies. It takes a lot of effort for Dick to recognize it as Tim. “A couple buildings partially collapsed, and since we knew the three of you were down here, it was a good starting point to look when none of you would answer the comms.”

“Huh,” is all Jason says.

“Nightwing,” Bruce says, startling Dick from the dazed lull he’d been in as he listened to his brothers talking. He opens his eyes, blinking up bewilderingly at what he can see of Bruce’s face behind the cowl.

“B?” Dick murmurs. He doesn’t move, yet, from where’s curled on his side, but he feels an abortive twitch of his fingers at the reassuring sight of Batman. “‘S goin’ on?”

“What do you remember?”

Right. Bruce did not give easy answers. Life is a series of puzzles, Dick Grayson, fueled by none other than Bruce Wayne himself.

Dick frowns and casts his mind back. “The wall blew up,” he decides. “I got hurt?”

He’s only half sure about that last one, but considering his position on the ground, the throbbing in his head and hip, and Bruce’s concerned dad frown that’s taking over his Batman grimace, Dick thinks that he’s probably on the right track.

“Concussion,” Cass says, startling Dick when she pops her head over Bruce’s shoulder. “Also, ‘a sack of bruised bones.’”

That—sounds familiar. He thinks he remembers Jason saying something like that.

Bruce’s frown gets deeper. “Straighten your legs.”

“Please,” Dick tacks on for Bruce when he lacks the manners to be nice, basically on instinct at this point, even as he—slowly, and with a great deal of agony—does what Bruce tells him to do.

They go through a couple more tests, until finally Bruce, unhappy, deems, “We need to move you.”

Dick blinks when Bruce turns away to murmur something to one of the others. A conversation washes over him, and Dick can’t help but let himself tune it out. The noise settles as vague humming—indistinct and comforting.

“—two, three,” Bruce says as Dick’s entire vision goes white.

He only manages to come back to himself in increments.

There are arms holding him tight. Familiar murmurs in his ear. The comforting sound of Batman’s heavy cape brushing against concrete.

“—there, Chum,” Bruce is saying, and if Dick had the capability, he would have teased Bruce for pulling out both the concerned dad frown and the concerned dad voice in one night.

As it is, the only thing that comes out of his mouth when he opens it are harsh pants for air. Every step jostles him, and agony is his constant companion throughout the entire journey to the surface.

Somehow, Dick is still conscious when he’s laid down in the backseat of the batmobile. He’s grateful he’s not moving anymore, and carefully doesn’t think of the upcoming ride back to the Cave.

He only really starts to relax when Bruce settles the cape over him. Wrapped up inside it, Dick almost feels like he’s ten years old again. Batman’s has always felt like warmth and protection and home. This time is no different.

“Batgirl and Robin, keep Nightwing as still as possible. Red Hood, in the front. Start updating Oracle.”

“Why do they—”

“You’re too bulky, Hood. Me and Batgirl are smaller than you. It’s still going to be a tight fit, but it’s the most comfortable for everyone this way.”

“Whatever.”

“Enough. Car. Now.”

There’s lots of careful but hurried scrambling. Dick thinks he passes out a few times on the way back. He doesn’t remember much, either. Just bits and snatches here and there—His siblings talking to him, Bruce giving orders, Jason being snappy and unwittingly dragging Tim into an argument.

And then—he wakes up. A lot more clear-headed than he’d felt the last time he’d been conscious (though, that wasn’t saying much).

To Dick’s surprise, he’s on his side again, dressed in sweats with a pillow between his legs. He opens his eyes to the Wayne Manor living room, and—yes, he’s on the couch. The curtains are drawn, but it’s clearly sometime past sunrise.

Bruce is sitting cross-legged in front of him, reading a book.

“Bruce?” Dick calls, his voice still somewhat slurred. “Why’m I on the couch?”

“You started crying when I said you had to stay in the infirmary,” Bruce tells him, grabbing a bookmark and setting his book off to the side.

Dick frowns. He doesn’t remember that. Still, he manages to say, “You’re such a pushover.”

“How do you feel?”

Dick blinks a dozen times in a row, trying to assess his body and keep up with the change in subject. “Kinda woozy. My hip hurts a lot.”

“Hn.”

“Think I need to brush up on my Bat speak,” Dick murmurs. “Dunno what that one meant.”

Bruce hums again. “You’re incredibly lucky. We’ll need to be careful for the next few weeks.”

“What’s the diagnosis, doc?”

“Crush injuries to your legs and left hip. Not overly severe, and we managed to stabilize you once we realized you were in shock.”

Dick thinks about that for a second. “Concussion? I’m pretty sure I remember something about a concussion.”

“It’s mild,” Bruce tells him. “It was the shock that was the real problem.”

“Oh.” Dick sighs into the pillow under his head. “I’m tired.”

Bruce gives him a soft smile, just slight enough that if Dick hadn’t been so familiar with Bruce’s microexpressions, he would have thought he’d been mistaken. Fingers lightly card through his hair, and Dick’s eyes start closing of their own accord.

“Then sleep,” Bruce says.

Dick sleeps.

#dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #batclan #dc #camryn writes #brambleberrycottage #thank you for the prompt and your wonderful support!!!!

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nochuvalencia · 4 years ago

Text

𝐁 𝐁 𝐇 𝐌 𝐌 - jjk

I was basically inspired by these ^^^ pics of jk bc wow hot hi

��️ ALSO QUICK DISCLAIMER :: this is my first fanfic on here so it might be terrible but enjoy anyway. ⚠️

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 :: reader x crimeboss!jk

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 :: bitch you better have his money.

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 :: ABSOLUTE SMUTTY FILTH heh angst too ig

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 :: 11.9k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 :: long haired tatted jk, that’s it, that’s the warning, uh kinda sketchy plot hsjsjsj, WOW ANGST ASF at the beginning tho, dub!con towards the middle don’t hurt me, fuck or die ig, gunplay????? yeah????? jks BLATANT OVERUSE of pet names, dacryphillia, major-ish character death, describing the injuries on a dead body, jk has a sir kink ig??? um excessive over exaggerated choking bc jks hands yum, explicit seggs, rough jk, he’s kinda mean, dom!jk, sub!reader, oral m&f receiving (facefucking on both ends), coochie sniff if you squint, coochie slaps if u squint too, spanking, OVERSTIMULATION, unprotected seggs, degradation, he calls her a bitch once idk, other bad names, praise too ig, jk gives an ultimatum, SLIGHT aftercare, he kinda like switches from flirty to murderous like a bunch of times it’s kinda weird, jk has an impossibly huge shlong obv, contemplating death, super mature themes, reader is a BIG fucking crybaby, overuse of the word fuck, corruption kink at the end if u squint super hard, also DUB!CON in case you didn’t see it, at this point I should just write what it doesn’t have

“If you’re not out of my house in 3.4 seconds, I'm dragging you out by the testicles” you uttered, your alarmingly calm voice laced with raw brutality as hot tears cascaded down your burning cheeks, your arm outstretched and pointed toward the blinding light of the hallway that contrasted with your dark bedroom. You said nothing more, with your eyes trained angrily at one of the four blank tan walls nearby, not possibly being able to bear speaking to or sparing a glance into the eyes of a cheating whore. The woman you had just caught him with scurried past you wearily, a terrified and confused glint in her eyes as she passed your frigid frame sans underwear, with her sparkly silver pumps dangling from her fingers and a wrinkly silver dress hanging limply from the clutches of her other hand. The man in question shuffled cautiously around the bed, clutching the exposed parts of his body and approaching you with extreme hesitation and outstretched hands, as if trying to calm the already blazing flames of your fury. He laid a cold, rough hand on your shoulder squeezing softly, a motion that once brought you comfort but only added the all consuming hatred that bubbled up inside you akin to ravenous bile filling up the pit of your belly. “Did you not hear what I said? Get out.” You spat, glossy eyes still pointed toward anything but him.

“____ please” he croaked, like the slimy frog he truly was, his voice dripping in false agony which only neared you closer to the brink of undoubtedly committing an act of extreme violence against that man. “Please baby it wasn’t-'' you blanked. He was about to make an excuse. A stupid, rediculous, horrible, completely false excuse which you had absolutely no patience to hear. So you snapped, harshly shrugging your shoulder and sending his arm flying back to his side. He stepped back, ceasing his incessant chatter as he stared at you, a surprised expression painting his “pained” features. He wasn’t accustomed to you acting like this, you were never one to raise your voice or act out in any sort of way so he stood there, eyes widened in dumbfounded silence and you took this chance, bending down, scooping up as much of his discarded clothing as you possibly could and throwing it in his face, your rage bubbling over into something much more carnal as you inhaled deeply through your nose.

“Shut the fuck up and leave!” He scrambled to catch as many clothes as he could and was taken aback by your abrupt outburst. He stood silent once again though this time, he was making the face he often made when forcing himself to cry. It was the face he made around his mother to get out of family responsibilities. The face he made around his friends when guilt tripping them into buying him drinks, and now he's using it for you. To guilt you into taking pity on his pathetic actions which merely was the catalyst for your unforgiving violence. In an instant you were behind him, heaving him out of the door with your bare hands, pushing with all your might, using the immense pain coursing through your limbs as motivation to drive his beefy frame further and further out of the bedroom, down the hallway, into the living room and closer to the door yelling “I said leave! Leave! Now!” Pushing harder and harder with every word you choked out. The tears began to flow faster, clouding and distorting your vision as your face contorted into an expression of pure anguish until finally, he was forced out of the open doorway and into the main hallway of your apartment building. You promptly slammed the door in his face and the only thought traveling though your mind was ‘thank god she left that door open’ because you wouldn’t have been able to force him through it otherwise.

You stood silently for a few seconds, back to the door, face still slick with tears as the cool wood on your back shook senselessly with every beat of his fist and muffled shout of his voice crying phrases like “____ open the fuking door!” , “this is my apartment too baby come on” and other variations of the sort. Your mind was empty while you remained there, letting the harsh reality sink in like the slowest molasses. You allowed that man, that pig, to take 10 years of your life. 10 years of your prime. 10 years that you'll never get back no matter how much you beg and plead for it. Come to think of it, you had shaped your entire life around him. His influence was there no matter how much you wished it wasn’t. His residue staining your life like the blackest ink of which you would never be able to rid yourself. At the surfacing of these thoughts, you’d finally broke down and cried, like ugly cried. Broken heaves and sobs escaped your throat until you felt like you were suffocating as you slid down the door, not caring if he heard your wails and whines of torment on the other side of the polished mahogany. You actually hoped he did hear, you wanted him to hear the anguish and grief he put you through. You wanted him to hear you cry out all of your attachment and love for him until there was none left, so he knows the tears flowing from your body hold all of the affection you harbor for him. All ten years of attraction flowing out in a gigantic tsunami of grief that can only end in a new start.

Your mind played through all the memories, and the small amount of good times you had with each other while you sobbed mercilessly, also coming to the realization that he never did anything for you. Ever since you were 14 you’d been changing everything about yourself for him, while he merely lived his life, dragging you along like a supportive little puppy and rewarding you with cheap token gifts and mediocre sex once in a blue moon.

He wanted to attend university in your hometown so you abandoned your dream school, which accepted you, to attend a closer college. He made the decision to study abroad, so you had to drop everything and move to Australia for him. He wanted to wait to have kids so you froze your fucking eggs for him. He got a great new job at a large company in Asia, so you dropped everything again and moved to South Korea. You learned Korean for him. You have the same friends as him. You even cut a few family members off because he was “uncomfy” around them. He wouldn’t even go down on you because it also made him ‘uncomfy’, which should’ve been a red flag from the start. You did all of this bullshit in the haze of love. The promise that he’d reciprocate all of it in affection and adoration, which he didn’t, and now you’re sitting in your living room bawling your brains out because you were too lovestruck to see the signs.

After sobbing hysterically for what seemed like hours, you’d sat limply in front of your door, slouching back onto it as if it were a plush armchair and staring blankly into space, your mind completely empty. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted beyond belief, you leaned forward, groaning in anguish as your tired muscles cried out in distress after being immobile for more than four hours. Crawling over to the couch, you tiredly flung your nearly paralyzed body onto the soft cushions with a sigh, not even bothering to pull the fluffy throw blanket over your body as your entire frame began to steadily shut down. Before your eyes completely shut, you caught a glimpse of the clock perched on the wooden tv stand which read 11:11 and scoffing quietly as you thought to yourself, ‘I thought that was supposed to mean good luck’ and you gave in to the delicious expanse of slumber.

You were startled awake by the incessant pounding of your now ex-boyfriends fist on the door, again. For the past 4 days since you’d forced him out, he’d show up outside your door at the ass crack of dawn just banging on the door profusely, as if that would persuade you to open it an inch. He had a schedule, he’d come at 5am, before he went off to work, then at 12:30 on his lunch break, then again at 9:45 just to make you miserable before you went to bed. You’re actually surprised the neighbors haven’t complained to the landlords yet. You tossed the blanket off of your sticky body, kicking and thrashing wildly due to the annoyance caused by that nuisance.

You cried more times than you can count during these last 4 days, especially during the times he would attempt to win you over with sappy shit like “baby, you’re my everything, you’re all i’ve ever wanted”, the lyrics to one of your favorite songs or, “you’re my forever ____, you can’t just throw 10 years away babe” to which you cried about for 3 hours after he’d said it, after realizing that he actually wasted 10 fucking years of your life. Anger bubbled up in the pit of your stomach as you listened to the repetitive banging of his fist and at this point you had enough and came to the decision it was finally time to pack his shit. Stomping into the living room, you grabbed a necessary box of bags that sat on the coffee table in the center of the room, figuring you were ready to use it. With a final nod of your head, you marched into your shared bedroom and opened all of the cabinets and drawers that contained the plethora of his belongings and flinging them on the floor, grabbing the box of xl trash bags you’d snagged on your march in here and started tossing things in left and right, not caring about the brand name or the state of the fabric or anything for that matter. All you saw was red as your eyes welled up with tears for the first and probably not last time that day.

“I can’t do this” you sobbed out, voice hoarse as you fell to your knees, ignoring the rugburn that was soon to form on those areas as your shoulders shook with every harsh breath you took. You had been dreading this task. Dreading it only for its significance that once you packed all his things and tossed them out, your relationship would be truly over. You definitely didn’t want him back but this would be the first time you’ve been alone in 10+ years and you were not certain you were prepared for that let alone wanting it. Inhaling shakily, you sniffed, ridding your face of any moisture as you cleared your throat and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of chardonnay from your anniversary that fell on the week prior and venturing back into the closet to resume your task. You weren’t much of a drinker but for this task, you’d need a bottle or two.

A few hours later, he’d finally went off to work and you sat in the doorway of the closet, drunkenly dressed in the wedding gown you were made to be wed in this summer still combing through all of his clothing and tossing them messily into a bag that laid open on the floor beside you. You took a swig from the bottle, hissing softly at the satisfying burn that seared it’s way down your throat and rubbing at your puffy eyes with the knuckle of your index finger. The closet was mostly bare, except for a rack with some of his clothes and one rack of semi-expensive clothing his cheap ass reluctantly purchased for you and you glanced around, catching a glimpse of some ugly floral fabric in the corner of the small space. Getting on your hands and knees you reached a limp hand out, taking hold of the horrendous fabric and dragging it out with a groan, eyes wide at the surprising heft of the object in your hand.

It was a pillowcase. A pillowcase full of something brick shaped. You raised an eyebrow quizzically before reaching into the bag and pulling out a fat stack of cash. Taking a sharp intake of breath you paused, staring blankly at the wrapped wad in your hand and cocking your head to the side. You peeked over into the bag after a few minutes, eyes popping out of your skull as they feasted on more huge stacks of money. It was Korean currency but there had to be at least 250k USD worth in the entire sack. You furrowed your brows, tossing the money back into the pillowcase forcefully as a tornado of thoughts whirled in your mind. Had he been saving behind your back? Was he planning on getting rich then eventually hanging you out to dry for some younger girl? How long has he had all of this? Where the fuck did it all come from?

You looked back at the money then back at the corner you found it in, squinting as you spotted some more ugly purple fabric. Crawling behind the clothing earnestly, you managed to fish out 4 more pillowcases full of money. You stifled a laugh, having never been in the presence of so much currency, you guessed it had to be more than 1 million dollars. You smiled for the first time in 4 days, lips curling up into a wide joy filled expression as you dumped all of the money onto the rugged floor of the closet. With all of the alcohol coursing through your veins, (almost a whole bottle) you didn’t hesitate to grab the biggest tote bag you own and stuff as much money as it could hold inside. You figured it was the least he could do after cheating on you.

He deserved to pay, and you obviously deserved a raise.

It was a full on shopping spree. After throwing all of his shit into bags, you tossed them outside your door and left with as much money as you could carry before he could come back on his lunch break. You even came back to get some more money, just to go out and spend it again. To say you splurged would be an understatement, you spent almost half of the money on clothes, shoes, a hair and makeup appointment, a manicure, a new car, and you even paid rent for six months after taking his name off the lease.

So here you were, struggling up the stairs as quick as you could, due to the fact that it was 9:30 and you were trying to avoid seeing him at his 9:45 visit. Your feet screamed in agony in your new jimmy choo pumps, because you’d been on them all day, and you had at least six shopping bags hanging from each arm, all full with an assortment of gaudy items such as shoe boxes, makeup products, and clothing. You had finally reached the door after a while, smiling at the absence of his bags which meant he took them and swiftly unlocked the door, clamoring in and tiredly dropping the bags in your hands. With a sigh, you locked the door, running a hand through your freshly styled hair as you rid your face of the designer sunglasses that shielded it. Kicking off your shoes, you hummed gratifyingly at the pleasurable feeling of bare feet and shuffled over to your couch, plopping down on the end cushion groggily.

A soft buzz in your back pocket caught your attention as you carefully fished out the new phone you purchased and unlocked it with your perfectly manicured fingers, raising an eyebrow quizzically as the texts rolled in, ‘i thought i blocked him’ you thought, preparing to do it a second time before a few texts caught your attention and you froze on the spot, chuckling heartlessly at his words.

+82 2 2263 5950 : whose car is in our parking spot?

+82 2 2263 5950 : did you already move on?

+82 2 2263 5950 : wow whore

You rolled your eyes, wondering where he attained the gaul to accuse you of a feat such as that. Calling you a whore as if that name isn’t suitable for himself. Even more so than you. You decided to text him back, feeding off of an unknown source of confidence as your fingers furiously tapped along the screen.

me : it’s my car asshole

me : bought it with the money u left me

me :thx baby <3

+82 2 2263 5950 : what money?

me : the money in the closet you didn’t bother telling me abt u dumb fuck

+82 2 2263 5950 : don’t use that money

me : why should i listen to you?

me : you aren’t my bf

+82 2 2263 5950 : no seriously ____ don’t use that money wtf is wrong with u

me : already did bye babe

You blocked him as quickly as you could, face burning with absolute anger as you tossed your phone on the cushion beside you. Who is he to tell you what you could or couldn’t do? You had come to the decision then and there that you wouldn't let him treat you like a child. He wasn’t your dad. Thanks to him you barely speak to your dad. The only thought going through your mind at the time was ‘fuck him.’ Before you could delve into your thoughts any further, it started. His incessant pounding on the door. Again. Although, this time it was much more frantic, desperate. He was much louder with his pathetic pleas and whines, crying out “please don’t use that money!”, “Listen to me god damn it!”, “___ open the fucking door now!” But you stood your ground, ignoring him once again as you did for the past few days.

Just to escape the racket of his wails of desperation, you retreated to your room, slipping on one of his expensive balenciaga sweatshirts you kept for yourself and climbing into the cool blankets, burying yourself under the plush fabric and folding your pillow over your ears. You knew this would be the longest night of your life..

And you were correct, It was the longest night of your life. He never truly got the memo that you would not be coming out to communicate with him so he finally left at around 1:30 in the morning. You had slept horribly, tossing and turning as the aftermath of his cries and pleads left a print on your mind and tormented you at all hours of the night, you didn’t manage to get any real sleep until around eight and woke up a mere five hours later in a state of confusion. It was well past noon and yet it was silent, you had woken up of your own volition, not because of some crazy man outside of your apartment screaming like a banshee. In due time, you had come to the conclusion that he had finally given up and gone about his day without banging on his ex-girlfriend's apartment door like an idiot at all hours of the day.

This theory was almost set in your mind until you heard a knock. Groaning violently, you stared up at your ceiling, eyebrows furrowed as you erased that theory from the whiteboard in your cortex. Fully prepared to ignore the person at the door, you rolled over to your side until another knock was heard. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be him. The knocks were way too soft, they lacked an element of urgency, desperation. They were simply just way too calm. So, you sat up, swinging your legs over and reluctantly standing up, before making your way into the living room to be greeted with another knock and a smooth male voice calling out. “Miss ___ ___?”

You glanced wearily though your peep hole to be met with a tall male, dressed in a blue and white uniform. “Looks like a cop. He called the fucking cops on me, shit.” you whispered to yourself, voice small as you held onto the door handle. Figuring it’d be worse to make him wait, you opened the door, being met with the warm, dimpled smile, of the decorated individual. “Yes, i”m ____” you respond, shoving your hands into the pockets of your sweatshirt and looking everywhere but him, which probably seems more suspicious than anything but you were too riddled with anxiety to care. The officer clutched a navy blue manilla folder in his hand and opened it promptly in order to sift through its contents.

“Hi, i’m officer Kim.” he breathed out, calmly bowing and resuming his apparent spiel, “do you know this man?” he pondered, raising an eyebrow quizzically as he pulled a photo from his folder with calloused fingers and lifted it, spinning it around to face you. Your eyes widened slightly upon being shown a picture of your ex and you nodded hesitantly.

“He’s my ex boyfriend- well ex fiance I guess.” you responded, voice barely audible as your mind raced faster than the speed of sound. You asked yourself what he could’ve done that was bad enough for the police to show up at your door. Maybe you had been too harsh on him and he had gotten into one to many bar fights, maybe he robbed a bank at gunpoint, maybe he stole some old lady’s car and filled it with off brand mayonnaise before he returned it. All your questions- all your thoughts stopped as Officer Kim responded, running a tired hand through his hair.

“He passed, earlier today.” he paused, giving you time to digest things and you froze, staring at his face blankly as your mind processed what you had just been told and you hummed questioningly, your throat becoming tight with realization. “It happened around five this morning,” he paused again as you stood in complete silence. Sure you hated him but you’d never wish death upon another person, especially him. You hate him now but you were in love with him once too. You hate him now but, he was the closest person in your life. He was all of your firsts, your fiance, your best friend. You thought you wouldn’t be able to get all of that back because of the breakup but now you truly can never get any of it back, because he’s dead. Then, you started to cry, for the hundredth time this week but this one was different. You weren’t crying because you missed him, or wanted him to come back like all the other times, as horrible as it sounds. You were crying because you felt bad. Because of his short life that was ripped from him by the unforgiving hand of death. You weren’t crying because of him, you were crying for him. A hand on your shoulder interrupted your sobs and you wiped your face, glancing up at the culprit with glassy eyes. “I’m so sorry for your loss...” he paused, giving you a few moments to breathe as he rubbed your shoulder comfortingly before speaking again, “but we have an idea of who did it, it would be helpful if you just came down to the station with me for some questioning.” he asked softly as the shaking sobs and whimpers that came from your body slowed to a halt and you nodded.

“Yeah, uh. Let me just go get dressed.” You muttered, smiling up at him softly and shuffling back to your room to prepare. The longest night of your life was about to turn into the longest day.

And you were correct again as you stood in front of your apartment door after the absolute, and I cannot stress this enough, longest day of your life. Your ex was murdered, brutally, and they made sure to go over all of the gory details with you while you were at the precinct, they even took you to see his body, which made you cry because it was mangled almost beyond recognition and you were horrified. Apparently, he had been tortured for hours, which explained all the bruises, gashes, and burn marks on his body, strangled, thus the huge ring shaped mark around his neck, and dumped into a river, which made his body all pruny and wrinkled. You had spent 10 long hours at the police precinct and it was now nearing midnight as you fished your keys from your pocket in order to unlock the door. Inserting your key, you jiggle it around in the lock for a minute before realizing it was already unlocked initially. Figuring you had left it unlocked accidentally in your depressed haze, you pushed your way into your apartment and locked it promptly, pressing your forehead into the cool wood of the door. You sighed softly, relaxing only for a minute as you absorbed your surroundings before freezing as you heard the rhythmic tapping of someone's foot.

“Long day huh?” the voice was deep, one you hadn’t heard before as you remained facing the door, your grip of the handle tightening until your knuckles turned white. He spoke again, “you must be ____.” he murmured softly, sending a terrified shudder down your spine. “I’ve been wanting to meet you but he said you were off limits. You know, he talks about you a lot-...” he stopped himself as if realizing something, “well talked, I mean.” the man mused, an ominous chuckle flowing from his mouth.

“Who are you?” you rasped, attempting to conceal any cowardice but blinking your eyes harshly as your voice broke. You vaguely hoped this was one of your ex’s friends coming to visit, at an odd hour of the night, sitting ominously in the dark of your apartment waiting for you to come home just to say hi but the chances of that actuality was very slim.

“None of your business” the man retorted, a smirk evident in his ominous tone. “Now, let’s get down to business little dove,” you furrowed your brows at the nickname. You had never been called a nickname, especially by a man who randomly just snuck into your apartment one night. Your ex only ever called you baby or babe so little dove was different for you. It seemed endearing in the worst type of way. “I want the rest of my money.” he paused, “I found half of it in a closet here, and he said you might know where the rest is.” he paused again, only this time a sound is heard, a metal rattling of some sort that ricochets off of the walls of the apartment like a stray jumping bean in a pill case. Then it hits you, he has a gun, and he just shook it as if he intends to use it. . “Don’t make me ask again sweetheart.” Your eyes widen and well up as your head falls down, knowing you're going to die today and you take a deep breath, telling yourself you’d be ready for whatever happens so you decide, if you’re gonna die, you should at least know the name of the man that’s gonna kill you so you scrape together every last drop of confidence you can muster and ask once more.

“I said, w-who are yo-” you choked out, in an attempt to hold onto the last shred of your dignity as you blinked back the tears threatening to fall from your glassy eyes. However, your small shred of confidence is promptly ripped from your grasp as the man cuts you off mid sentence, slamming his gun down onto a hard surface with a loud clatter. You jolt, crying out softly as the tears you’d been holding back with all your might fall onto the ground before you.

“I said none of your fucking business bitch where’s my fucking money.” he spat, his sinister tone draing a choked sob from your thoat as you realized, you wouldn’t be getting anything you wanted today. “Answer me” he said, alarmingly calm as the sound of him cocking his gun travels directly to your mind.

“I spent it” you muttered between your soft hiccups and stiffened slightly upon hearing a heavy footstep approach you, then another footstep, and another, and another until they cease, and you can feel the man's warm breath raising the hair on the back of your neck. All your readiness for whatever happens and willingness to die flies out of the window as you lean your head on the door once more, taking a shaky breath as you begin to plead, aware of how pathetic you sound and part of the reason why you have such a strong urge to cry harder. “Please don’t kill me” you whined desperately as you feel the cold metal of the gun barrel resting on your shoulder.

“Relax little dove” he whispered, his lips brushing the back of your ear and sending a chill rushing through the entire expanse of your body. “Just find a way to pay me back and we’re even,” he continued calmly, his raspy voice reverberating in your eardrums as you think through what he just said carefully. You gasp and sniffle, shaking your head softly and lifting it slowly from the wooden door frame.

“I-” you stopped, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself as much as you could for his response then opened your mouth to continue. “I don’t have that kind of money” you whispered hesitantly, shutting your eyes tightly, allowing nothing to escape but the numerous tears that fell to the ground in anticipation of his actions. There was an eerie silence as he contemplated your words before he abruptly turned away, lifting the gun from your shoulder and holstering it in the waistband of his jeans, causing you to let out a wavering breath you’d been holding that entire time. His hand traveled back up, taking refuge on your left shoulder as the other hand made its way up your right arm, the warmth setting your skin aflame and sending a shockwave of warmth coursing through your body.

“There is another way you could pay me back.” his velvet voice rasped, stressing the word ‘another’ in a way that you immediately understood his insinuation and you took a sharp intake of air, bracing yourself for what he was about to say next. But he didn’t say anything for a moment, letting his hands do the talking for him as he gripped your arms softly, using his hands to spin you around and face him. You whirled around, yelping in surprise but stopping when you were met with the most exquisite, carnivorous brown eyes you had ever seen in your life that were accompanied by full pink lips and a tousled bunch of fluffy black hair you just wanted to run your hands through. Even in the darkness of night, the moonlight streaming through the kitchen window illuminated the room enough for you to trail your eyes down his face and get a vivid idea of what he’d look like with illumination.

Yummy as fuck.

Your eyes began to wander down to his exposed collarbone and before they could travel any lower, his fingers roughly grabbed your chin, forcing your gaze upward until you met his borderline cannibalistic gaze, which crushed you into nothing. He cocked his head to the side, a mischievous glint in his eyes as the corner of his lips turn upward slightly. “He was always bragging about you… saying,” he speaks, his sultry tone lulling you into a state of compliance as he spoke, “you’re such a good fuck,” he continues, placing his left hand gently on your waist and stepping even closer, if that’s possible, his soft breath hitting your face with every word as he speaks. “Your sweet little cunt is so tight” he glances down at your lips, running his thumb over your bottom lip “your mouth feels like heaven” he pauses again, running his hand down to hold the side of your neck softly to which you gasp “maybe i’d like a demonstration little dove.” he smiles, a twisted horrifying smile that snaps you out of his seductive trance and back to reality as your eyes widen and you pull yourself quickly out of his hold, running over to the couch and bracing yourself on it.

“No” you cry out, out of breath for some reason as you swallow thickly and shake your head. “No, I'll find a way to pay you back, I promise.” you plead, praying he wasn’t going to kill you on the spot and that he hadn’t noticed your blatant ogling. He probably did but at this point you didn’t care, you just wanted him gone.

“Whatever you say sweetheart” he replied, emitting a dark chuckle “call me if you change your mind, my number’s in your phone” he opened the front door and you glanced back at him, noticing the way his all black attire contrasts with his tan skin, and most of all, you notice the full sleeve of tattoos that ran down his right arm. Heat crawled up to your face as you realized you were gawking again and you nodded in response, feeling unable to form the words to respond with. He only uttered the words “you have a week.” before the door slammed and you were left alone in the dark.

You ran your fingers along the side of your neck where the aftermath of his touch lingered like a searing residue. No one had ever touched you like that, especially your ex. He was the man that took your virginity and was the man there for every time after so you’d become accustomed to his textbook missionary vanilla sex that left you touch starved and unfinished every. single. time. But you’d finish yourself off each time, feeling bad because you thought he was trying his hardest and truly didn’t understand how to please women. But as time went on, you realized he didn’t care about your pleasure and too enveloped in his own release to ever worry about your needs, but were too deep in love with him to care.

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone went off to signal a text and upon picking it up there were two text messages from an unknown number that sent a shiver down your spine which read.

+82 2 5284 8735 : don’t try to run

+82 2 5284 8735 : we’ll hunt you down little dove

“Can’t you just take the shit back?” You questioned frantically, clutching the phone by your head until your knuckles turned white, rolling your eyes tiredly when you got no response. “They hung up, great” you deadpanned, plopping onto the couch you had been pacing in front of. It has been 6 days since the man showed up and you were running out of time and hadn’t slept in two days, your mind running frantically with the thought of him coming back to see you nearly empty handed. Well, not exactly empty handed. You had managed to get 253k of the whopping +400k dollars you had spent of his money and after not being able to return the car, manicure, hair appointment, rent, and a bunch of clothes and shoes, you were manic. Some might even say a bit crazy. Many of the stores and the dealership knew you by name because of the amount of times you called them. You dropped your phone into your lap, burying your face in your hands and wishing someone was here to console you through this but the only person you knew even remotely enough to offer any consolation was your ex. You wish he was alive so you could punch that bitch in the face and ask him what kind of shit he got himself into because the man that paid you a visit was most definitely not from corporate.

You sat for a silent minute deliberating if you should text the mystery man and take him up on his offer. You had asked yourself, is it really worth your life? Were you really going to die because you didn’t want to sleep with the hot guy you stole money from? The answer at first was yes because you still had your pride intact then but now, you had been starting to second guess your confidence in getting all the money back. After all, the deadline is tomorrow. You still had your hesitations, the only man who has ever seen you in such a lewd nature was your ex. You didn’t know if you were ready for sex with another person, even if he was the hottest man you’d ever seen. But, against your better nature, you convinced yourself that your ex was gone and this was bound to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner?

You grabbed your phone in earnest before anything inside you could convince you to stop and unlocked it, opening the messages for his number and typing out your text, hitting send before any sort of regret had the chance to sink in.

me : i’ll take your offer

me : this is ____ btw

You placed your phone down on the couch cushions beside you and chewed nervously on the not so fresh manicure that was still on your nails. To your surprise, his reply came in quickly and you frantically reached for your phone as the dings came rolling in.

+82 2 5284 8735 : i know who you are

+82 2 5284 8735 : i'll be there in 20

+82 2 5284 8735 : be ready sweetheart

Your heart thumped restlessly as you shot up from your seat shouting “twenty minutes?!” and you cried out nervously. You hadn’t even seen his face in good lighting and you didn't know his name so you’d basically be fucking a complete stranger which scared you enough as it is but the fact that that stranger held you at gunpoint merely a week prior is what scared you shitless.

In the limited time that he gave you, you decided to freshen up a bit so you hopped in the shower. Your first shower in a few days after your psychotic state worsened. Humming in bliss, you relished in the feeling of the scalding water flowing over your skin as you took your time washing , shaving, and singing, in an attempt to rid yourself of the horrendous nerves that overtook your senses. After reluctantly stepping out of the steamy oasis, you’d decided on a white lingerie set you had gotten yourself for christmas but never got to wear for anyone because your significant other was always “working” or too tired/busy to take the time of day for you. Pairing the set with a matching white silk robe and not bothering to wear any shoes because you’re in your own house, you slicked your lips in a thick coat of gloss and applied some mascara and eyeliner to your tired eyes just to spruce up a bit. You figured, if you put effort into your appearance, then maybe he’d spare your life after the sex. You stared at yourself in the mirror, tying your robe, smacking your glossed lips together and ogling your appearance before a soft knocking was heard from the living room. “He’s here” you told yourself with a deep shaky breath as you vacated the bathroom and slowly ventured toward the door.

You stood silently before the front door, contemplating whether this was a mistake or if it was too late to turn back. As much as you hated to admit, there was no logical solution to your problem that was in compliance with any standing laws. Heck, what you were doing was probably illegal in everywhere but Las Vegas so you had no other choice than to twist the handle, open the door and stare up at the most alluring man you had ever laid eyes on. You ran your eyes all over his body, studying him, his features, his gorgeous eyes, impeccable nose, plush lips, smooth hair, and strong arms that lead to a presumed strong chest hidden under his plain white tee. He noticed you blatantly checking him out to which he placed a finger on your chin, lifting your face up so your eyes met and making you watch as he rolled his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it for a moment. Oh how you wished that was your lip.

“You ready little dove?” he asked, his tone seductive and smooth like chocolate as he walked closer to you, closing the door behind him and backing you up until you stood patiently before the couch staring up at him, a wistful glint in your eyes as you nodded. He reached up, using a finger to push your robe off of your right shoulder and cocking his head quizzically. “All dressed up just for me?” he pondered, his eyes trained on the white lace peeking out from under the robe. You nodded, to which he gripped your chin roughly, furrowing his eyebrows at your response. “Use your words sweetheart” he warned, loosening his grip so you could speak in affirmation.

“Yes…” your voice trailed off, thinking of what to call him, as you still didn’t know his name, so you addressed him as you would any man you didn’t know, “yes, sir. I dressed up just for you” you concluded, your voice barely greater than a whisper as the corners of his lips turned up. He let out an animalistic growl at the name you gave for him, obviously satisfied and moved his hand from your chin to grip the back of your neck promptly.

“It’s Jungkook, but sir will do nicely” he basically growled before latching onto your lips with carnal aggressiveness. You whined heartily into his mouth as his tongue slipped deftly into yours and intertwined with yours, causing your mind to fall into a haze as he coiled his arm around your waist, bringing your body flush against his toned frame. You reached up with shaky hands, fumbling with his shirt, eager to get it off of him and gaze upon the expanse of his abdomen. His lips detached for a moment, giving you the chance to pull his shirt over his head, which he gladly obliged and lifted his hands over his head, swiftly resuming their positions when his shirt formed a pile on the floor beside you. You leaned back in, attempting to capture his lips in another phenomenal kiss but he pulled back, leaving you to chase him and whine when you ultimately lose, to which he laughs mischievously, taking his hands off of your body and toying with the silk tie on the front of your robe.

“How do you want it baby?” he pondered, the new nickname sending shivers down your spine as you glanced at him quizzically, as if asking what he meant. He chuckled softly, tugging at the ribbon and opening your robe as he brought his hands up, carefully sliding it down your arms and bending down so his face was level with your collarbone. He placed a gentle kiss there, leaving fire in the wake of his lips as he spoke, his breath cooling the seared flesh, “would you like me to be gentle?” he asked leaving more hot kisses along the expanse of your shoulder and neck, drawing salacious sounds from your parted lips as he brought his hand up to rest at the base of your neck. “Or…” he paused, sliding his hand up and increasing the intensity of his grip on your throat, restricting the blood flow to your brain as your mind became hazy and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. “Do you want me to be rough?” he continued, lifting his head to watch your face as he loosened his grip. “It’s your choice little dove.”

You were elated, ecstatic and a little disappointed when he loosened his grip on your neck. Your ex was always into sex that lindered toward the vanilla side, as mentioned before, so he would never think to try anything like choking, which always intrigued you just a little bit. You wished you would have experienced other styles of love before you met him but you didn't, and this was your chance to try them out now. Your fingers travelled up, lightly grazing over that hand that was tightly wrapped around your neck. Whining quietly you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting it softly as your other hand came up and wrapped around Jungkook’s forearm.

“I wanna try it rough” you mumbled, eyes closing as you relished in the hazy feeling this restriction gave you which only heightened as he tightened his grip.

“Perfect.” he groaned out almost inaudibly as he pulled your face to his, colliding your lips in the roughest, most passion filled kiss you’d ever experienced. He devoured your mouth with gluttonous amusement, his grip on your airway never wavering for a moment as he tongued you down, his carnal need prevalent and present in the thick air of the room. You reached up, completing a task you’d been wanting to do for days, tangling your hand in the messy black mass that fell upon his head, and relishing in the soft feeling of his waves. Then he detached from your lips and moved away, forcing your hands to fall from his hair and onto his broad shoulders, which, while pleasurable to touch, didn’t even come close to frolicking your fingers through his locks. He moved his hand from your neck to your shoulder, to which you whined with a small pout, missing the new contact as he chuckled at your eagerness. He stared at your lips, before leaning down and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it voraciously before he spoke. “Do you want me to put this slutty little mouth of yours to use little dove?” he asked, pulling back as if waiting for an answer, to which you obliged.

“Yes sir” You answered quite honestly in fact, as you felt all your hesitation and weariness about this task slip away. “Please put my mouth to use.” you pleaded, staring up at him, a wanton expression on your soft features.

“You’re so good for me .” he whispered, his soft breath fanning your face as you nodded in agreement, “such an obedient little dove, hmm?” he asked, to which you nodded once again, a bit more frantically this time as you awaited his cue. He used the hand on your shoulder to abruptly push you down with a small yelp so you were seated on the black leather couch behind you, the colder leather contrasting the burning lust in your entire body as you looked up at him. “Get to work slut.” Your eyes widened at the name. Maybe it was supposed to be an insult or he just liked calling you that but you couldn’t help the gargantuan wave of slick that coated your panties at the moment.

You looked down, a bit above eye level with his crotch as you reached up to palm him through his faded blue jeans. His scent was tantalizing, musky, and you couldn't get enough as you stared up at him through your eyelashes, your lips slightly parted as you gazed in awe. He gave you a warning glance, as if scolding you for teasing him for this long and you unzipped his pants. He held out his hand, as if to stop you before reaching behind his pants and pulling his gun from the back of his jeans. Your eyes widened, gaze now trained on the firearm in his hand, a horrified expression on your face as you ceased all actions. Which he noticed, peering down at you, a horrifying smile etched on his godlike features as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Relax darling, I won’t kill you,” he purred, reaching down and weaving the fingers of his free hand into the roots of your hair, grabbing and pulling back roughly so you have no other choice but to meet his dark eyes. “We’re only just getting started.” he lowered the gun, pressing the muzzle into the underside of your jaw, the cold metal like ice against your scalding skin. However, you felt no need to cry, felt no need to fear for your life even as this gun was pressed to your neck, aimed to kill, because you knew he wouldn’t do it. Through the dark facade and ominous gaze in his eyes there was something else that made you trust his inability to kill you. You realized you were enjoying the thrill, the excitement of putting your life in his hands. So, you did what any crazy bitch would do in this situation, you breathed out deeply, relaxing your shoulders and slouching yourself down to push your neck further onto the tip of the gun with a mischievous smile. Jungkook stared down at you in awe, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek and taking his gun off of your neck before tossing it over to the end of the couch behind you.

Resuming your actions with a shaky breath, you tugged his pants down until they fell to his ankles and placed your hands on the sides of his underwear clad hips. You might’ve been inexperienced in his style of fucking but you sure knew how to give a good blowjob, so you got to work, placing open mouthed kisses to his clothed appendage. You looked up at him once more seeing the lust clouded haze that filled his deep brown eyes. After a bit of teasing, you hooked your fingers in the waistband of his underwear, pulling it down in a seductively slow manner as you allowed his needy cock to spring free, and you stared up at it with a gasp.

It was huge.

You didn’t really know what qualifies as huge because the only dick you’ve ever had was around 6 inches on a good day but this alluring appendage swinging before your face had to be at least 9 inches long and you wondered how the fuck you were going to fit it all in your mouth let alone your pussy, which was already aching for it. Your mouth involuntarily opened wider in anticipation of his delicious dick inside and you grabbed the base, with two hands, drawing a hiss from the man that stood over you as he kicked off his shoes and the rest of the clothing that pooled around his feet. You licked teasingly up the sides of his dick, stopping at the tip to swirl your tongue around it, and catching some salty precum when you did. You glanced up at him and he looked absolutely furious in the best sort of way. Frustrated to the max as you teased him mercilessly, only spending meere fleeting moments at the spots which needed the most attention.

Then he snapped, taking you by surprise and using his hand that was still tangled in your hair to hold you still while he shoved his cock in your mouth. You tried to gasp but it merely came out as a small strangled whimper that was cut off as his length reached that back of your throat. You moved your hands to the sides of his hips once again, bracing yourself as he slowly pulled his member out of your mouth, most likely winding up for another thrust. He propelled his hips forward once again, stuffing not nearly all of his cock into your mouth, as his tip grazed the back of your throat. The feeling of him completely filling your mouth had you livid, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you moaned, the vibrations reverberating onto his appendage which drew a salacious moan from his plush parted pink lips.

“Fuck, your mouth feels like heaven.” he moaned out, then he started to fuck your face, tears pooling in your eyes while his dick basically hit the back of your throat with every harsh stroke of his hips as he gripped on your hair tighter. After one particularly hard thrust, he held his length down your throat as tears rolled down your cheeks and you gagged around him. He took his cock out of your mouth, to which you gasped, swallowing the spit that pooled in your mouth with an aroused groan.

“Tastes so good.” you mumbled, not possibly being able to get enough as he shoved his cock back into your mouth and fucked your throat relentlessly. The tension building in you was too much to bear and your need to cum only heightened as his actions resumed. You arched your back slightly, pushing your clothed clit into the black leather cushions of the couch as you gyrated into it slowly, praying he wouldn’t notice and would be too invested in fucking your throat to realize.

You were wrong. He noticed immediately.

He halted all movements, taking his cock from your throat and grabbing your neck harshly, to which you gasped, whimpering as he pulled you up to stand in front of him, cock slapping the front of your body as you stared at his face in anticipation of his actions. You could imagine what you looked like right now swollen glossy lips, and tear stains running down your face because you didn’t bother to wear your waterproof mascara. You never needed it any other time so you figured why would you need it now. Oh how wrong you were.

“Dirty little dove, trying to get off on the couch because you want me that bad?” he rasped, nearing closer to your face with each word and you nodded frantically, basically begging him to do something, anything. “Words” he barked, drawing a cry from your lips as you thought of what to say.

“I want your cock, please sir.” you begged, before he groaned hungrily and captured your lips in a ravenous kiss, taking you by surprise. No one had ever kissed you after they’d fucked your throat before so why would he do it. You didn’t dwell on that thought for too long before melting into his touch and wrapping your arms around his neck. Jungkook took his free hand, trailing it around your body to unclasp the back of your bra, your eyes going wide at the skillful ease of his fingers. He snatched the white lace clothing off of your frame, tossing it to the other side of the room and reaching back up to cup one of your soft breasts in his hand, flicking the nipple with his index finger and making you sigh satisfactorily into his mouth. He leaned forward, taking you with him as he lowered both of you back onto the couch, settling himself between your newly opened legs and never breaking the kiss. He unlatched his hand from your neck, trailing it down your body as the other hand continued to knead your breast skillfully. His burning touch slowly ventured further and further down your abdomen until he reached the band of your panties and abruptly tore the thin while lace from your body to your dismay and discarding it on the floor beside him. You whined sadly, as those had been your favorite pair of underwear but barely had any sort of time to grieve as you felt two rough fingers dip into the wetness of your slit, trailing them up and stopping right over the spot you needed him to be at, pulling a moan from your still swollen lips.

He began kissing a trail down your body, stopping for a mere moment to suck on the pert bud of your free breast before resuming his path of destruction. He moved his hands to settle on the inner sides of your thighs, spreading them apart and sighing as he got a glimpse of the treasure between them. Your eyes widened upon realizing his destination as you scooched away, holding a handful of his tousled black hair in an attempt to grab his attention.

“I-…” you paused, chewing on your bottom lip and thinking of how to word your statement. “i’ve never asked anyone to do that for me before, so y- you don’t have to do it.” you stuttered wearily as the nerves set in. No one’s face had ever been remotely close to your womanhood and the thought of it sent a chill down your spine as you released his hair from your grasp. You wondered what it would even be like. He glanced up at you, eyes dilated as he chuckled, a dark chuckle that made you shiver as he tightened his grip on your thighs, yanking you closer to his face and taking a deep drag of your scent once you were close enough.

“Oh baby I want to” he basically moaned out, licking his lips and glancing down at your glistening slit, the corners of his lips turning up in a hungry smile. You raised an eyebrow, asking yourself ‘why the fuck would he want to do that?’, and ‘isn’t this for my pleasure?’, but all your concerns were answered once he spoke again. “I can’t wait to make you writhe on my tongue little dove” he muttered, causing your cheeks to burn with the intensity of a thousand suns as he talked into your soaking entrance. “... make you beg and cry without even using my cock.” he continued, releasing your left thigh from his grip as he placed a hand on your pubic mound, lowering his thumb and slowly beginning to circle your clit eliciting a loud wail from you. “You think, if I had the power to turn you into a messy little whore all for me just by using my mouth, I wouldn’t use it at any chance I could?” He asked and you whined, nodding as your hips stuttered up in desperate need of more friction. “It’s all about power baby, and I have it all here” he groaned, watching you clench pathetic around nothing.

Then, he finally gave you what you wanted. His hand resumed its grip on your thigh, forcing it away from the other as his thumb was swiftly replaced by his warm tongue licking up and down your wet sex. You moaned, placing your shaky hands on the mounds of your chest, toying with your nipples just to add to the pleasurable sensations he was creating with his tongue. This feeling was unlike any ecstasy you had ever felt and you never wanted it to stop. His tongue slipped deftly into your soaked entrance twisting and turning skillfully as you keened loudly. His warm wet appendage swirling around your wet cavern was the best feeling in the entire world and you knew if he continued ravaging you at this pace, you’d cum in no time. But, you needed this release. You needed to let go of all this pent up sexual frustration you didn’t even know you harbored. You needed to experience your first orgasm in months, if not years, that wasn’t self inflicted and you hoped and prayed with all your heart that it would come soon.

He switched his focus,, moving his tongue up to play with your aching clit and slipping two fingers into your formerly empty hole with a deep groan that reverberated through your core like a powerful vibrator which only intensified your moans and cries of pleasure. You looked down on yourself to see the delicious sight of him devouring your cunt ruthlessly, the sight alone almost tipping you over the edge as you brought your hands up, covering your eyes while you neared completion.

“Jungkook you’re gonna make me cum.” you called out, an exasperated cry leaving your lips when your impending orgasm was painfully ripped away from you as all his motion stopped. You uncovered your eyes, about to stare down when your body jolted, a harsh sting being felt directly on your clit, sending a wave of warmth barreling through your entire body. Then you understood, he slapped you, and you peered down at him, your eyes glassy due to the orgasm that was ripped from your grasp.

“Who? said you can cum.” he deadpanned menacingly, staring up at you through hooded eyes as you leaned your head back tiredly, realizing the error in your words and prepared to beg, just like he said you would.

“Sir” you cried, holding your arms limply over your head as you continued to plead. “Sir please, please make me cum.” you begged mercilessly, a tear of relief sliding down your cheek as he resumed his assault on your core, attacking at a steady pace and retrieving the all too familiar knot that formed in the pit of your stomach. You reached up, grabbing the edge of the couch with an iron grip, your knuckles turning white as your hips began circling on his face, your clit rubbing against his tongue with every movement and venturing you closer to your sweet release.”Please don’t stop sir, oh my god” you whined loudly, fucking his face relentlessly as you chased your high, nearing it more and more with each thrust of your hips until he finally pushed you off the brink of ecstasy, a scream leaving your lips as Jungkook continued his unrelenting attack on your pained pussy.

You rode out your high, writhing and panting before him, his pace never faltering, his fingers never slowing, his tongue never relenting and it soon became too much. The euphoric delirium quickly turned into madness as you barreled down the path into overstimulation. You wailed pathetically, thrashing under his hold as the pleasurable pain consumed your body and you could barely form a coherent sentence but you persevered, scraping all the coherent thoughts you could muster and turning them into tangible words that sat on the tip of your tongue, ready to be spoken. “Sir please, it's too much!” you cried to which Jungkook finally let up, slowing his pace to a halt and sitting back.

“Oh my god that was so fucking hot” he growled before sucking on his glossy fingers and cleaning around his mouth with his skilled tongue as he gazed amusedly upon your exhausted body. But he was nowhere near done with you. This fact made apparent when he stood and wrapped an arm around your hip, lifting your limp body and turning you over with ease, positioning you so your face was pressed into the now warm couch cushion and your ass was raised high into the air before him. His eyes rolled at the view of your swollen cunt bent over for him and he gave it a light smack, eliciting a pained, but tired yelp from you as he chuckled muttering “you’re going to drive me crazy little dove.” under his breath.

He crouched down, coming face to lips with your abused cunt as he wrapped his arms around your bent bottom, lacing his fingers together as they rested at the arch of your back and dragging his nose up the tortured path of your slit, drawing whines and cries of overstimulation from your wiggling frame as you tried to get away from the punishing menace that was his face. “No, please. I can't take anymore, it's too much.” You whimpered, your voice muffled as you leaned your face into the couch tiredly to which he obliged, reluctantly, as he stood, grabbing his neglected dick in hand and pointing it toward your pink entrance.

“I can’t wait to stretch your pretty little pussy ____.” he purred and you moaned at the sound of your name slipping off of his tongue like the creamiest butter. He dragged his tip along your swollen clit, abusing it again for what seemed like the millionth time that day as he covered his girth in your slick, a guttural groan emitting from the back of his throat. Then, abruptly, he sunk into your slippery cavern, barely all the way in but you’d never felt so full in your entire life as he pushed forward slowly, filling you up and providing you with the most delicious stretch you’d ever felt. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you whined, a desperate whine that you could barely register was your own voice as he pushed his length completely inside of you, his head falling back and your name, rolling off of his tongue once again.

After barely giving you time to adjust to his alarming size, he reeled his hips back before slamming into you again, and again, and again, over and over again until he was fucking you at an unrelenting speed you barely knew was possible to achieve. Suffering from the overwhelming pleasure he forced you to endure, you shut your eyes tight, crying out in strangled indulgence as you grasped onto the fluffy throw blanket strewn lazily over the couch in front of you. You relished in the sting of his girth, staring ahead blankly with glassy eyes as he rammed into you with a punishing speed and black mascara filled tears streamed down your cheeks.

You knew you were about to cum soon, again, only due to the all too familiar feeling accumulating in the pit of your belly. Jungkook reached down, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and pressing your chest further into the couch while he drilled into you, moaning and cursing at the feeling of you flexing deliciously around his cock. He felt you were close, so he moved his hand, snaking it around your waist and trailing his other hand to assume its position around your neck, hoisting you up so your back was arched against his abdomen and you had no choice but to stare up at him as he talked down on you, never slowing the snapping of his hips for a wavering moment.

“You’ve never been fucked this good have you?” he teased through clenched teeth as he leaned down, sucking and marking all over the expanse of your neck with grunts and growls of pleasure. You were way too fucked out to even think about the words to form a coherent sentence, barely being able to form whimpered versions of ‘mhm’ after he questioned you but he was having none of that. He unraveled his hand from your waist, tightening his grip on your throat and landing a hard slap to your left asscheek, drawing a shrill shriek from the depths of your throat as he warned in your ear. “Words little dove” he slapped you again, “how many times do I have to fucking warn you.” he concluded, landing another harsh smack to your abused flesh as you whimpered.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had, I’m such a slut for you sir.” You sobbed out, “please let me cum, please fuck” you whined, drawing out your words and you reached back, tangling both hands in his unruly mop of hair as he split you open, moaning directly in your ear which in itself, was a thing that could make you cum on the spot.

“Cum then.” He said obviously, as if it was the most simple response, only it was this simple command that shoved you off the precipice of ecstasy for a second time. The feeling that bloomed deep in your stomach soon blossomed into a full blown orgasm that racked through your body quickly, leaving nothing but white hot pleasure in its wake as your legs trembled viciously, with one last loud cry of Jungkook’s name. But, he still did not falter, his pace quickening as he neared his own climax, the speed both too much and not nearly enough at the same time. You reached back, attempting to push him and escape the all consuming pleasure torturing your body like a blazing fire but your hands were caught quickly by Jungkook’s hands which crossed them tightly and held them behind your back, resuming his attack.

You shook your head, letting it hang as your tears fell freely onto the couch before you, his moans and groans of ecstasy increasing in volume and frequency as he neared his own climax, his hips faltering in their pace for the first time in a while as he worked to his own release. In what seemed like an instant, he released the most beautiful, salacious, strangled moan you had ever heard, pulling himself out of your soaked cunt, and painting the surface of your ass with his white hot ropes of cum. He finally let you go after a moment, watching as you fell limply to the couch, laying face down, panting exhaustively, your arms still crossed limply behind your back as he smirked down at your fucked out frame. He left you alone for just a bit, coming back but a few moments later before you felt the sore skin of your asscheeks being wiped off with what felt like a warm hand towel. You were relieved he had the respect to clean his mess, it made you respect him just a little bit more as a person but you were way too tired to dwell on the subject any longer.

“You did so good for me little dove” he cooed, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it as he placed a sweet chaste kiss on your lower back, caressing his hand up the side of your body. A simple touch that lacked any sort of sexual aspects, it felt comforting and you sighed, leaning further into the soft couch as you heard him begin to put his clothing on. You felt a pang of distress, seeing as you were more of a fuck and cuddle kind of girl, but you really hadn’t expected him to stay so why’d you feel the need to ask him to. Pushing the feeling deep inside your gut, you sighed deeply as he walked in front of you to bend forward and grab his gun that laid discarded on the opposite side of your couch, also grabbing the throw blanket beside it and tossing it over your naked frame before thinking about something. “So,” he started, tucking his gun in the back of his pants and humming, “I’m thinking that was worth about, hmm 50k” he started. You vaguely understood what he was saying and knew you’d flip out once you were conscious enough to truly comprehend his words. “I’ll keep in touch.” He said, pulling his shirt down and smiling deviously at you as you uttered a hoarse ‘huh?’ To which he answered simply, “if I wanna come collect some more money” and he spun on his heels, opening your door and sauntering out of the threshold.

When he got into the hallway, Jungkook burst into a wide smile, satisfied with the encounter he made today. He entered this agreement fully prepared to either fuck you once and take the money you’d earned back or just fuck you and kill you, but once he’d had a taste, he was insatiable. You were flawless, your compliance was impeccable. The way you obeyed him, begged for him, the way you tasted, the way you felt, the way you looked. There was no way he could ever get enough and is probably the reason he kept overstimulating you like a frat boy with a bruised ego. There was no way he was gonna just let go of an absolute gem like you, so he made his excuse, a plan. Everytime you fuck him, you pay back a portion of the money. He was so tempted to tell you this session was only worth $100 just as an excuse to come back over and over and over until he had his fill, but he kept his composure, giving you hope that you’d ever be free of his grasp. Jungkook for once was extremely ecstatic, elated, excited to ruin you even more than he already had and he was dead set on making you want him just as much as he craved you no matter what it took. Though he was pretty sure you already did.

#bts #bts smut #bts fic #jeon jungguk #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #oneshot #mafia!bts #mafia!jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #mafia au #GUNPLAYHAHAHA #IM SUPER EFFED UP #this took sooooo long

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youryanderedaddy · 4 years ago

Text

Best Friends Forever

Summary: Your best friend finally has you back after all these years, tied up on his bed and ready to learn your lesson.

Tw: nsfw, non-con, slight mention of blood, threats, choking, slight degradation, dirty talk, cursing, infantilization, possessive behavior, patronizing behavior, overuse of petnames, slight dom vibezz

You knew your boyfriend was a lost cause, an addict so gone he would have done anything for a fix, but you never expected him to stoop so fucking low.

You had woken up in a suspiciously familiar place, laying on sheets oh so soft, puffy and white you simply couldn’t mistake the bed you were on. The walls were painted in black and blue, a combination so deeply engraved in your mind you couldn’t shake off the feeling you weren’t trully conscious, but dreaming of a happy yet distant memory of the past. It took you less than a second to realize you were in his room - the one where you had spent so many joyfull sleepless nights back in your youth. The relief was short - lived, though, because the moment you tried to move around, you became aware of the tight rope keeping your sore limbs tied to the wooden bed frame. After a while of twisting and thrashing around while screaming at the top of your lungs for help you finally heard the door open. You hoped you would at last be able to go home now, still desperate to believe this was merely a prank, a way for your junkie of a boyfriend to scare you into giving him money.

“There is no use trying to escape the bonds, my little love.” His voice emited through the small room, low, smooth as butter and softer than ever. You tried to lift your head and catch a glipse of the person talking, just to make sure you weren’t imagining things or going insane. And there he was in all his glory, the boy, no, the man you knew well looking so different from how you remembered him, but still it felt impossible not to see the many similarities - from the unruly dark curls to the warm gray eyes that used to be your only guide during times of misery and pain. This was none other than your childhood best friend and you had absolutely no idea why you were tied to his bed. “Oliver, why on earth am I here?” You asked as soon as the initial shock had worn off, completely forgetting to address the weird petname the student had called you.

He smirked slightly before crossing the distance keeping him away from you, and carefully sat down by your left side. He reached out to stroke your cheek in an affectionate way, his fingers lingering for a moment too long for it to be considered a mere platonic gesture. You tried to turn your head away from the warm touch since it made you feel uncomfortable and left you with so many new questions. “I missed you so much, precious.” Oliver took a deep breath and smiled at you, gently moving your jawline so you had no choice but to face him once again. “I was so happy when that disgusting piece of shit you call a boyfriend offered you to me.” The man bent to your shoulder-level and whispered in your ear, his tone so full of sick satisfaction you could swear there was honey dripping from his mouth. “I paid a lot of money to have you back, sweetheart.” He licked his lips in an obscene, suggestive way and you had to supress the sudden urge to vomit as you finally remembered exaclty why you had stopped contacting your best friend once you had started college. The boy used to be clingy, obsessive even, but you could have never guessed it was that bad.

“Oliver, please untie me, you are scaring me.” You pleaded in a tiny voice, hoping to summon what was left of the goodness he had tucked away deep in his heart. In response the male only chuckled and shook his head as he placed a small kiss against your neck, causing you to shiver in discomfort and disgust while you were mentally debating whether you wanted to kill him or your ex boyfriend first. Soon your spiteful thoughts were replaced by panic when your captor brought his hand to your t-shirt and started unclasping the small buttons one by one. You couldn’t help but turn red from embarassment the moment you felt your nipples harden under his palm and you became painfully aware you weren’t wearing a bra underneath. Your former friend had your tender breasts exposed to the cold air in a matter of seconds, his terrible fingers already pinching and pulling at the erect tips. “You have such pretty tits, darling.” He said huskily while squeezing your boobs, licking and biting the stretched skin. You hissed in pain and squirmed in a desperate attempt to move away but the rope was holding you in place, tightening around your sore injured wrists even more.

“I have wanted you for so long, angel.” The student admitted quietly, his stormy eyes fixed on yours, his stare so intense it could burn a hole through you. “Tonight I will make you mine.” Oliver declared with a clear sense of confidence and claimed your lips in a quick rough manner, muffling your pitiful whimpers like a man starved and hungry for flesh. The forced kiss and his deranged words made your stomach turn but something in his longing gaze told you there was a lot more in store. The guess, much to your horror, was soon confirmed when the dark - haired male reached down between your parted legs and easily slipped your panties down to your ankles. With your last bit of protection gone you felt awfully vulnerable, literally naked in front of the beast too keen on the past to see how much he was hurting you right now, in the present. You wanted to scream the second his fat grabby fingers pried your folds open, but choking on your desperate sobs proved easier at that moment.

“Aww, don’t cry, angel.” Oliver growled playfully and slid his index into your tight entrance, quickly adding a second one before you had the time to adjust properly. “I have to prepare you, baby, otherwise my cock may just tear you apart.” He remarked in low sickening voice, the excuse too crude and vulgar to be an act of caring. You whined as your walls clenched down tight now that there were three fingers stretching your hole, and you berely managed to utter “too full” before your friend pulled you for a deep kiss again, his tongue devouring your mouth, leaving you breathless and queit while sucking in the sweet pained moans. “You can take it, babygirl.” The man groaned against your swollen red lips and grabbed your hips in a strong hold - you were sure there would be purple bruises there tomorrow.

Eventually, after half an hour of pushing his fingers in and out of your channel, lapping at your neck and leaving wet love marks all over your collarbone, the student was satisfied with his work. He had turned you into a whimpering mess and was ready to thoroughly enjoy the fruits of his labor, whether you liked it or not. “I am going to put it in now, precious.” Oliver pecked you on the cheek just to lick the salty trace of tears off your puffy skin. “I will force my whole length in your perfect little pussy.” Your captor bit your sensitive earlobe and you broke down in tears like a kid, the threat ringing in your ears like the gospel. “This might hurt a bit so I advise you to stay still and relax, baby.” The way the man continued casually, almost cheerfully, as if he wasn’t about to brutally rape you, made your skin crawl, but there was nothing you could do. You were all tied up, powerless to stop him. Suddenly, without any warning, his hard thick member entered you, piercing pain spreading through your whole body. The student panted in pleasure as soon as he thrust his manhood into your heat, the way it sucked him in leaving him high and blissful. You let a few miserable whimpers, the ache too much to bear, his moves too harsh, sudden and deep.

“Don’t give me such a-agh tormented expression, my love.” Oliver quickly shushed you by putting his hand over your mouth and pressing down to prevent any noise that might have escaped. His gaze was lustful, insane, but also loving in a twisted, perverse way. “Fuck, I love you so much.” He muttered, his voice gentle for a split second before going back to being taunting and mocking. “I used to be so angry each and every time you dated another guy, another asshole who was only after your body.” The man was rambling now, his face turning red at his own vicious thoughts, his growing anger reflecting in his cloudy pupils and his painful thrusts. “You always chose them over me like a stupid little bitch ...” He whispered dangerously and lifted your body towards his own so you could take his hits even deeper, so deep that you could feel the tip of his member kissing your cervix. “Well, now you don’t have a choice, angel. I have claimed you and I will keep you here forever.” You were crying out in agony, your pussy clamping down around the enormous length slapping again and again against your core. It burned so bad you wished you could dissapear somewhere far away just so you could have a moment of relief. “Oh, sweetheart, I know it hurts, but it’s almost over, you can take it for me, right?” The male cooed at you, switching back to that disgusting, infantilizing baby voice you had already grown to despise. When you failed to respond he gripped your throat, squeezing so tightly blood rushed to your cheeks and you inhaled sharply though your mouth only to feel the suffocation cut your breath short. “Answer me.” He barked through gritted teeth and you nodded frantically, desperate to gasp for air and cling onto dear life.

“Good girl.” Your former friend purred, pleased with your obedience, and let go of your neck, grabbing your hips instead. You coughed and drooled pathetically until you managed to resume your breathing, but the man, still buried deep inside you, seemed too caught up in chasing his own pleasure to notice how badly he had hurt you. Fortunately for you Oliver was really close, that much was obvious by his furious shoves at your abused cervix and his low growls each time he lowered his head to kiss you. Soon he came with a loud moan, painting your walls white, your ruined hole dripping with his seed and your blood.

Your captor seemed satisfied afterwards, peaceful in a way - there was a small smile adorining his cold lips as he wiped the tears off your face and squished your bruised body against his strong frame in a tight hug. You bit your tongue to stop the tears from overflowing once again, but to no avail. He let you sob in his arms until there wasn’t liquid left in your red, puffy eyes.

“You did very well, my love. I am really proud of you.” Oliver kissed your temple gently, resisting the temptation to graze you all over again with his lips, tongue and fingers. “I will help you clean up, then I will fix you some nice dinner.” He murmured in your ear, tickling the heirs on the back of your neck with his warm breath. “Doesn’t this sound good, baby?”

You closed your eyes and nodded slowly.

#yandere #male yandere x reader #yandere smut #male yandere #yandere oneshot #yandere oc #yandere male x reader #yandere oc x reader #yancore #male yandere x you

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 years ago

Text

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

#Psycho Analysis #The Suicide Squad #Savant #Michael Rooker #Javelin #Flula Borg #TDK #Nathan Fillion #Weasel #Sean Gunn #Mongal #Mayling Ng #Blackguard #Pete Davidson

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messrmoonyy · 3 years ago

Note

same anon here that asked for the remus returning thing, sorry for the confusion i meant like after he gets back but they aren’t back together yet and there are those few days we’re dora is kinda cold and distant just to protect herself and remus is doing whatever he can :)

My girl Dora ain’t no doormat, no way was she letting him get away with treating her like that and just forgive him immediately. Remus did some grovelling for sure.

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: none

You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, I love any and all requests so please do send them my way!

Tonks woke up to the sound of quiet clattering, a scent of sausages and bacon and eggs. Fresh pastries and pumpkin juice. She opened one eye but the bedroom door was closed still, the other side of the bed as cold as it had been for the last month and a half. Ever since Remus had returned to her he’d been sleeping on the sofa, still trying to even come to terms with being able to look at him in the eye. Never mind sleep beside him. She had said she’d sleep on the sofa at first. It was his home after all, who was she to make him sleep on the sofa in his own home? But he’d insisted she take the bed.

She had deliberated moving to her parents. She knew that would be the eventual outcome anyway, they weren’t exactly in the position for her to just waltz into st Mungos to give birth. But the thought of staying with her mother fussing for longer than necessary wasnt all that appealing. So she had stayed put and waited for Remus. And now he was on the sofa until she finally shifted the last of her hurt.

She still loved him, of course she did. But she couldn’t shake the purely painful feeling of betrayal. He had come back so she guessed she should have been relieved. But it was the fact that he had ran in the first place. The fight had been bitter, his words stinging her like acid, biting at her, beating her down until she felt completely worthless. She’d never heard him say such things. She didn’t know he had it in him. He’d always been such a gentle soul, she’d only heard him raise his voice once or twice. But everyone has a breaking point, everyone snaps. And he had. At her.

She’d never known he could muster words so cruel. Didn’t know his usually gentle face could twist into such hatred. Didn’t know he could look at as if he could barely stand to be within ten feet of her, when he so often only looked at her with adoration.

He’d come back quite literally begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and finding every and any word he could to try and prove how sorry he was. She had let him back because she loved him. Because she was carrying their child. But she hadn’t forgiven him. And she wasn’t about to anytime soon she guessed. No matter how hard he was trying to win her back around.

He kept leaving her gifts, there was a constant supply of fresh flowers for her every morning. She had ignored them at first, leaving them on the kitchen counter to wilt and die. He’d started placing them in a vase now. Sometimes it was breakfast- like it seemed to be that morning from the smell. Fresh pastries on the pillow when she went to bed, chocolate frogs in her sock drawer, copies of the quibbler because she liked the comic pages, the list was never ending. She couldn’t lie that she liked his grovelling, it was really the least he could do after all he’d said to her. And she felt she deserved to have him pay for what he’d done.

She sat up in bed and sighed to herself, glancing over at the small box beside the bed that held her wedding ring. She’d thrown it in his face the night he’d left her, it landing somewhere at their feet in the front garden. She’d not even been sure on where it had landed. It had appeared on her pillow a few days after Remus had come back and she wondered if he’d actually taken it with him when he ran. Or if he’d just searched for it when he returned. She’d shoved it in the box and not touched it since. She wished she could’ve gone back to the wedding day. He’d been so happy. She’d been so happy. Her mother would’ve hated the wedding, but that had made almost a little more enjoyable. It wasn’t even the slightest part traditional.

A tiny church in what felt like the coldest part of Scotland going. Some strangers they’d met a few hours before in a local pub as witnesses, no big crowds of guests. No fancy white dress. She’d worn her boots and the nicest dress she could find in her wardrobe back home. Her bouquet had been some flowers nicked from someone’s front garden, one of which she’d pinned to Remus. It wasn’t perfect in anyone else’s eyes, but it was to her. To him. They’d shared their own vows, been bound together by magic and love and hope. They’d danced all night, stayed up until the sun rose sat up on a cliff over looking the sea. And of course the stumbled walk back to their B&B over the pub, the event that had inevitably created the tiny person residing inside her now. And that was that.

But the Remus that had shouted at her, told her that they had no choice but to her rid of the abomination they had created… that didn’t feel like the Remus she had married. She didn’t recognise that man. That wasn’t her Remus. That wasn’t the man she loved, had married, had given up everything for. He was a stranger to her.

She got dressed then, not wanting to fall into the hole of longing for Remus again and put herself in a bad mood, before leaving the bedroom. Remus was stood in the kitchen and smiling at her as she opened the bedroom door. The bedroom was the only place in the house that offered her privacy, the rest being tiny and open plan. She spent most of her time in there just lately and thankfully for her, he often left her to it. The bedroom being almost out of bounds to him. He hadn’t stepped foot in there since coming back.

“ good morning Dora “ he greeted quietly and she shook her head at him, raising a hand and pointing at his face.

“ no. I told you already. You don’t get to call me that now “ he looked down at the floor for a moment and nodded. He looked like a kicked puppy but she told herself she didn’t care. He deserved to hurt like she had. He did.

“ right. I’m sorry. Tonks “ he cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured to the table “ I. I have breakfast for you. I have to nip out to the Weasleys for a while but there’s more food in the fridge for you if that isn’t to your liking “ she sniffed and turned her head away from the table. She didn’t know why but his kindness just made her mad. Like a switch flicked inside of her.

“ and you’ll return this time? Or planning another week away? “ he sighed and ran a hand through his hair “ need another chat with Harry so you? Listen to a child’s advice but not your own wife right? “

“ Dora ple- “

“ no! “ she hadn’t completely intended to shout but she had. She closed her eyes, balling her hair into fists and tried to get rid of her sudden lack of calm. She could feel angry tears burning behind her eyelids and she blamed her messed up hormones. She refused to cry in front of him again. Refused to show the hurt he was still causing her weeks after her left “ just. Just go the Weasleys. Go on “ he hesitated for a moment and gave a small nod.

He knew better than to argue with her now. Knew it would get him no where.

“ just. Please make sure you eat something. It’s not good for the b- “

“ don’t stand there and pretend you care “ she snapped “ don’t “

“ Tonks I do. I do care I have apologised I don’t know what else I- “

“ if you cared you wouldn’t have left “ there was silence then. So quiet it was almost painful. But she felt like twisting the knife, plunging it deeper and drawing out as much agony as she could. She wanted him to hurt like she had, to feel the pieces of his heart shatter inside his chest, splinter his lungs so it felt as though no air could reach him. Make him feel how she had “ I am only here because unfortunately for me. You are the father of my baby. I don’t care how much you apologise. I will never forgive you Remus Lupin. Never “

The words burnt her own throat as she spoke them, and regret seeped into her chest. But she stayed firm. Refused to cry. Refused to feel guilty. He deserved it.

She had clearly struck a nerve. His eyes swam with pain, his hands hanging limply at his side. Defeated. Hurt. She’d won that round.

“ I don’t know how many time I can apologise “ he said weakly “ I know it’ll never come close to repairing what I did but- “

“ please. Just go to the Weasleys “ she said with a sigh and turned away from him as her tears finally fell. She didn’t want him to see. She closed her eyes. gripping onto the kitchen counter so her knuckles turned white. She heard movement behind her and the front door opening.

“ please make sure you eat “ he said softly before the front door closed and she dropped down to her knees, letting her tears run freely. Her body wracked with sobs

————————-

When Remus had been on the sofa for 2 months, and Tonks was finally starting to pass the phase of just looking a little fat, to actually looking pregnant, nearing her 4th month. She had started to become a little more forgiving. She had started to sit with him at breakfast again, didn’t shut down every single conversation he tried to start with her, sat beside him when he read by the fire in the evenings. Though she always left a fair space between them.

She found she’d started to miss him greatly. Trying to deal with how much her body was changing on her own wasn’t exactly the most fun thing. Remus was still piling her with as much affection as he could, even though she still wasn’t particularly receptive to it. But she had to admire his determination.

“ Nymphadora. I was wondering if I could have a word “ she turned to face him as she toed off her boots, having only just gotten home from a trip to see her parents “ please. If you would “ she hung up her jacket and nodded, walking over to him as he gestured towards the table where a small yellow gift bag was sat.

She sat down at the small table, it had an old copy of the prophet folded up under one leg to stop it from wobbling, but it still moved slightly when she picked up the gift bag.

“ you can’t buy my forgiveness “ she stated, not looking inside the bag “ I told you that already Remus. I can’t be bought “ he gave a small nod, clasping his hands tighter.

“ yes. I know. I do. Just- please “ he nodded towards the bag and she hesitated but sighed before pulling at the ribbon and pulling out the tissue paper. She froze when her figures fell upon a soft cotton and she realised what was in the bag. She pulled it out, dropping the bag to the floor “ I wasn’t- I wasn’t sure on the size or- it’s like Hufflepuff, you see? Of course I couldn’t get an official one. It was a muggle shop and I had to be quite quick I didn’t want to risk anything. I mean I had options of course but- “

“ Remus “ she cut him off. It was a babygrow. It was a pastel green with a badger embroidered on the chest. It was the first piece of clothing their child had. She hadn’t exactly had the best of opportunities to go shopping down Diagon alley for some herself.

“ Dora “ he tried her nickname again for the first time in weeks and this time she didn’t chastise him for it “ I know I’ll never be able to take back what I said. But as I told you when I returned. I had time to think. And these past months I’ve been thinking too “ he reached out gingerly for her hand and when she didn’t pull away he gently took it in both of his “ all I ever wanted was a normal life. A normal family. And now… now I have that chance. With the woman I love and. And our child “

“ and what if he’s not… ‘ Normal ‘. If he’s different. I’d hes half werewolf. Or full. Or. In between “ she was getting a little tense with her words again and she tried her best to remain calm. She was finally getting a truthful and meaningful opinion from Remus on the matter. She should be thankful for that. Even with the betrayal still poking the back of her mind occasionally.

“ then I’ll love him all the same. He’ll be could be born with four legs and 5 arms, two heads. No magic at all. I’d still love him. Because we made him Nymphadora. You and I. And I…. I never thought I’d get that. I never believed I’d be a father. A husband. Now I have that opportunity and I see how much of a fool I was to try and throw that away “ he squeezed her hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles over her knuckles in a soothing way. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying to her. And he wasn’t now.

“ let’s deal with the possible moon situation before we worry about any extra limbs shall we? “ she said with a small smile and watched as he seemed to relax every muscle in his body, his worries that she wouldn’t accept his apologies slipping away “ I won’t forgot what you said to me. And to him “ she placed her free hand on her stomach as she spoke “ but you’re his dad. Nothing is going to change that. And the world really fucked up right now. Like. Really. And so we have to protect him. Love him more than we can even think about “ Remus nodded.

She refused to let the world ruin her baby, refused to let him be warped into a life of terror and fear. Of feeling outcast and alone like his father had. Remus stood up then and knelt down in front of her.

“ I love you Nymphadora. And I love him… or her “ she smiled slightly as he placed a gentle hand over hers that was still cradling her bump. Remus’ acceptance suddenly made it feel all the more real. In just 4 months they’d have a baby. A real one. Screaming and crying and laughing. A most innocent thing born into a world on the brink of disaster. And somehow her and Remus had to keep him safe. And kind. And loved. They weren’t exactly the most functional of couples so it was no doubt that their family wouldn’t be either. But they’d make it work. They would.

Werewolf or not.

—————————————-

It was another week after that that she finally caved. The talk had most definitely been the turning point. And she’d kissed him again that evening for the first time in months. Was actually letting him touch her again without recoiling. Though he was still on the sofa.

Though December had well and truly arrived. The cold weather setting her into an almost constant chill, the old cottage not offering much in terms insulation. And she missed having him wrapped around her. He was always warm. And didn’t complain when her cold hands found there way under his shirt in the night to warm up. She also just missed him. Just him. Her Remus. The man she’d fallen in love with. She wanted him back beside her, his slow breaths on her neck in the night, his legs tangled with hers. Even the way his facial hair scratched at her when they kissed. She just missed him.

So it was almost no surprise to her when she found herself slipping out of bed, the coldness of the stone floor seeping through her socks and chilling her already numb feet some more. She opened the bedroom door slowly to see if he was awake or not.

He was in the armchair, a book on his lap. Clearly having not planned to sleep there, he’d have a sore neck in the morning that was for certain. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and silently walked over to him. The fire was crackling in the hearth, immediately warming her up. She moved the book careful not to lose his page, before climbing into his lap in its place. She wrapped the blanket around them, bring her legs up and resting her head on his chest. One more month gone and she didn’t think she’d be able to manage that. She wasn’t the tallest or biggest of people. So her bump was still pretty small. But she loved it all the same.

Remus stirred slightly and made a small noise of confusion to wake up and find Dora on his lap. He opened his eyes fully, his eyelids heavy with sleep.

" Dora? "

" go back to sleep " she whispered and felt him give a small nod as his hand tentatively wrapped around her, like he was still unsure if he was allowed to touch her or not. She snuggled in a little closer to him as if to say it was okay and he fully wrapped around her, pulling the blanket up to her chin. It felt right to be in his arms like that again. They’d snuggled on the sofa the day before. But not as… intimate as this. It felt normal again. Like she belonged there.

" why did you- "

" I was just cold " she cut him off, ignoring the way his raspy sleep filled voice made her melt. She was trying to show that she was still just that little bit mad at him. But she couldn’t deny that she missed him. That yes she was still hurt, that she might always been. But nothing could compare to the amount that of love she had for him. Still. Even after all he’d done. No one would ever come close to the way she felt for Remus Lupin.

" right " She lifted her head for a moment to find he was already looking at her. And she couldn't help herself. Because time was precious now. And she was wasting it being angry all these months later. She slipped a hand up to cup his face before pulling him in to kiss her. He seemed a little surprised at first, his lips frozen for a moment before they opened to capture her own. But she didn't blame him because she was too. She hadn’t planned for that night to be that night she let go of the final part holding her back.

" this isn't me forgiving you " she said against his lips once they pulled apart. Half joking. Half not.

" I know " he seemed quite truthful with that. Like he understood her thinking. Maybe he did.

" good "

" good " she kissed him again and found herself shifting in his lap, slipping a leg either side of him. Because she was mad at him, she was really. But she loved him more. Missed him more. Needed him more. And soon she was unbuttoning his trousers and bunching up her sweatshirt- that was actually his- around her waist, rolling her hips against him until she was panting out his name, gripping the back of the armchair so hard she was surprised she didn’t splinter the wooden frame.

They stayed on the armchair even after Remus had cleaned them up, trying to keep the warmth of the fire in her body, trying to share Remus’ own body heat.

" Remus " she said when she was certain he was just dropping off, her head against his chest. Heading his heart beating felt like home. The familiar sound she had so often fallen asleep to. Comforting.

" I know. This isn't you forgiving me " he mumbled, hurt tinging his words.

" actually I was going to say that I love you "

" oh. Oh right... I love you too. You know I do " his arms tightened slightly around her and she let herself calm to the sound of his heart. She waited again until she felt him slackening with sleep to speak again, a slight mischief in her tone.

" oh and Remus? This isn't me forgiving you "

#messrmoonyy writes #bit longer than normal! but I loved this prompt so much!#remus lupin #nymphadora tonks #remadora #harry potter #remus x tonks #ronks #the marauders #lupin #tonks x lupin #tonks #remus x nymphadora #Dora lupin #remadora one shot #deathly hallows #one shot

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maplecornia · 3 years ago

Text

chapter 9

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.61K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: this chapter makes me laugh, especially the scene with Jojo and Namjoon.

tags:@kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne

You’ve been waiting for an hour.

Tilting your head back, you sigh, extremely bored.

You've tried everything you could think of to bypass the time. Reading, writing, watching YouTube, then switching over to Netflix, even attempting to doze in the slightly uncomfortable waiting room chair.

None of them have worked.

Currently, you're doodling in your sketchbook, but no concrete idea comes to mind for the sketch. Leaving you with tiny flowers, faces, and body parts on the page as though it were a practice sheet.

Peering over the sketchbook, you scan the room for any sign of life, but as the day has dragged on, so has the crowd.

You don't see any sign of Kim Namjoon anywhere, and the receptionist hasn't called you over ever since you turned in the forms she gave you. Uninterested, your eyes glazing over, you pull out your phone, peering at the time.

12:30 pm.

Heaving a sigh, you tilt your head back, the music playing through your GalaxyBuds. Yet it does no good to lift your spirits.

You suppose it's only fair, you made him wait, now it's his turn.

Setting your phone down once more, you purse your lips, as your gaze falls on a flower swaying in the wind outside.

It's the only flower you can see amongst the bush. It stands almost forlornly in the midst of multiple of its fellow brethren withered around it. Still, it stands strong, unwilling to fall victim to the harsh weather outside.

A thought crossing your mind, you turn to your sketchbook, quickly turning the page and beginning a vigorous sketch before you lose your idea.

Unbeknownst to you, as you progress halfway through the sketch, Kim Namjoon bursts into the lobby, looking out of breath and flustered.

He wears a bright white T-shirt, one with a small black Nike emblem across his left pectoral muscle. It hangs sort of loose around his neck, his collarbone visible as cooling sweat causes him to glisten like a bright star.

It's not as noticeable, considering that he wears a thick black sweatshirt zipped down around his shoulders. It's simple, with thin white stripes running down the sleeves and white soft underlining to it.

The black sweats he wears seem to fit with the outfit, the same white stripes running down each pant leg. Each piece of clothing has a Nike emblem on it and pairs well with the white Nike AirForces he wears on his feet.

They’re simple but rich clothes and bring to mind the same clothes Jungkook was wearing before.

The cooling sweat on his skin and the way his hair falls a bit messily underneath his cap could lead to the presumption that they were doing a major dance practice before all of this.

No matter the case, he didn't expect the meeting to take this long, and he feels terrible for making you wait, despite everything. As he looks for any sign of you, he doesn't find any.

Worried that you have already left, he knocks on the front desk, gathering the attention of the receptionist that helped you earlier. Kim Jojo raises her head, and as she catches sight of RM, her eyes widen just the slightest bit, but not enough for him to notice.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Namjoon, what can I--”

“Yes, yes hello.” Namjoon interrupts her, too panicked to care about formalities.

He wants to catch you before you get tired of waiting and leave. First impressions are everything to him, and if he has a bad one…Shaking the worry away, he leans forward over the counter separating the receptionist from him and she flinches away at the sudden closeness.

RM either doesn't notice or doesn't care, but either way, he meets her with an intent stare, every word uttered from his lips urgent and careful.

“Has anyone by the name of Lin Yen come in?” The receptionist opens her mouth to respond but before she can say anything, he holds up a finger.

A thought having crossed his mind, he reaches into his back pocket, bringing out his phone. He tries to bring up the picture of you while Jojo stands there, half in shock, half in annoyance. As soon as he finds it, he lets out a little victory shout, one that startles her.

Grinning, he presents it to her, and she peers at a strange picture of you. After she looks at it, Jojo pulls back, her brows crinkling in confusion.

“She looks like this. If she came in, could you please tell me? I've been waiting since 8:00 this morning to meet her.” Jojo sighs, trying to gain her composure before responding.

“Mr. Namjoon--” she begins, but Namjoon interrupts once more.

“She’s my new assistant, you see, and I need to begin her training today. She needs to know the ropes before our busy season comes back around.” He explains, pulling the phone back and trying to pocket it once more.

Instead, he ends up knocking over a container filled with an assortment of pens and pencils. Surprised, he fumbles to pick it up but ends up spilling it all over the floor. Cursing under his breath, he reaches down to pick up some pencils that have fallen.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Jojo picks up the container, righting it on the counter with a loud thud. Startled, RM glances up at her eyes wide, and she smiles sweetly.

“Please, just leave it.” She says between her teeth. He shrugs, almost reluctantly standing. She sighs in relief, carefully putting the pens and pencils back in their place.

“Now...Mr. Namjoon, please listen--” once more, she cannot finish, Namjoon unable to shut up to save his life.

“I’m sorry, but if you need any more information on her I could--”

“Kim Namjoon!” This time it's Jojo's turn to interrupt him, her patience finally wearing thin.

RM instantly falls silent, a bit surprised at the outburst.

Jojo takes a steadying breath before continuing.

“Now, the person you are talking about has already come in. I told her you were in a meeting and had her wait in the waiting room for you to return.” At the information, RM turns to the waiting room where he catches sight of you for the first time in real life.

He notices you vigorously sketching out your idea. Smiling, he can't help but smile at the familiarities he finds in you. You look exactly like the picture Jaejin sent, despite how weird it was.

“I had expected to receive a notice of your return, so I could send her to you, but now that you're here….” Namjoon turns away from you and flashes his contagious smile at Jojo who is once more taken aback.

“Thank you,” Namjoon says with gratitude, reaching across the desk and holding her hand as he bows before turning away.

Jojo, watching him go, turns beet red before collapsing behind the desk in exhaustion. Another fellow receptionist cries out with alarm before tending to her in concern.

You, once more, having no awareness of the events happening around you, continue to sketch. Having finished the rough sketch you begin to define every line, detail, and curve. As you work, you bite the inside of your cheek, sometimes licking your lips in your trance of concentration.

When you're lost in your mind of imagination and creativity, nothing from the outside world can distract you.

And yes, that also includes a very tall, very real version of Kim Namjoon striding towards you.

You don't look up as he comes within a few feet in front of you. You don't even notice as he bends to your eye level, trying to catch your attention. It doesn't break your concentration, even as you reach for an eraser, lightly humming to the music playing in your ears. He smiles, almost laughing at your concentration before he covers his mouth, trying to be quiet so that you don't notice he’s there.

Trying to tease you, he carefully (as much as he’s able) sits down next to you. He was planning on pulling out one of your GalaxyBuds and surprising you, but as he catches a glimpse of your work, he’s stopped cold.

It's breathtaking.

You have created an awestruck image of a woman, on her knees. She wails out in agony as she sits amongst a pile of ash, flecks of it falling around her as though there's a fire burning nearby.

However, that’s not what catches Namjoon’s eye.

Amongst the ash, if anyone looks closely, they'll be able to see that there are small, scattered remains of bones hidden.

She sits amongst them, wailing, the look on her face one of pure anguish and sorrow as the ash from the fading bones stains her skin and her dress.

As though she has lost everyone she’s held, dear.

RM can't seem to look away, entranced by the grotesque beauty of the image and the talent of the artist.

He admires the way you set it up, the way you created the girl imperfectly, but still real. Because after all, who in real life is perfect? As he watches your pencil move expertly across the page, he can't help but think that with each stroke, the creation grows more and more lifelike.

As though she were truly crying out in the pain her heart brings. As though she were alive and breathing.

Almost against his wishes, his hand reaches out to touch the paper, if only to make sure that the actual sketch is truly a mere fabrication of pencil and paper.

As his fingers graze the parchment, that is when you snap out of your concentration.

Eyes widening, you jolt up straight, immediately turning to look at your side.

As soon as your eyes meet Namjoon’s, his hand flinches off the paper. He lets out a soft gasp as he flinches away, surprised by your sudden attention.

Just like with Jungkook, you're frozen in place.

Unable to move.

Unable to function.

Unable to speak.

And just like Jungkook, Namjoon is the same way.

But for a different reason.

He was caught in the act, and he doesn't know what to do.

Your eyes hold him in a sort of bind.

For a moment he forgets what he was doing there, he forgets what his purpose is, for a moment he even forgets why you are there.

For a split second, it's just you and him in a pocket in space.

Your eyes holding his, his eyes holding yours.

Kim Namjoon.

The leader of BTS. The first member of the group you have grown to love. Talented, handsome, a practical genius, he is just as mature and intimidating as you expected him to be.

Despite how close the two of you are sitting, he still seems larger than life, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s even real.

He doesn't seem like it after all.

His skin seems too real, too perfect. His hair is too soft, too smooth. His eyes are too warm and too brown.

Almost exactly like the milky chocolate brown you’ve seen so often in so many photos, except for one thing.

As you stare into them, you can see life so clearly alight in them. How they reveal so many emotions at the same time. There are so many that it's almost impossible to read them at all. Serene and peaceful, they are poets' eyes.

So emotional, yet so mysterious and secretive at the same time.

Dreamboat eyes.

“Kim Namjoon?” you whisper, almost unsure if it's him or not.

As you do, his face makes that mixed expression between confusion and amusement as he chuckles softly, looking away and breaking the connection. Holding his hand up to his mouth, he nods, clearing his throat, but not saying anything for a moment.

“Yes, that's who I am, and you must be...Lin Yen?” your heart jumps at the fact that he knows your name.

Speechless, all you can do is nod mutely as he utters another adorable chuckle, one that always seems to remind you of Goofy.

“Jaejin didn't tell me you were an artist.” As soon as he says that, you notice that your sketchbook is still open, and showcasing your imperfect, unready sketch.

Panicking, you fumble to get it closed. Blushing, you hug it tightly to your chest, as though it could erase the fact that he just got a sneak peek into your very soul.

“What's wrong? It was good!” RM asks, worried.

Biting your bottom lip in trepidation, you shake your head, hiding your face.

“Don't lie….” you mumble.

You know it wasn't close to being done, and it wasn't nearly as perfect as it could have been. You're quite disappointed in it at the moment. You feel as though it was too rushed due to the many ideas pouring out from your brain at the exact moment.

As you take an ashamed peek at Namjoon, you find him staring at you, a slight smile playing on his lips.

“What's wrong, are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head as though you were a shy child. You smirk, playing along and nodding very slowly before he continues.

“I see. You should know, however, that you are very talented.” At the compliment, you snort in disbelief, shoving the sketchbook and pencils back safely in your satchel.

“Please.” You sigh. “I know I'm no Picasso, and certainly not talented.”

Finished with packing your art supplies, you are reminded of the reason you are here. A blush of shame appearing on your cheeks, you turn to Namjoon, a bit guiltily.

“And I’m also not known as the bird to rise before the worm.” RM seems a bit confused before you stand and bow to him in apology.

“I am so sorry for being late today. You see I….”

Remembering the receptionist's words from before, you decide to keep the reason to yourself.

“....I have nothing to say for myself. I'm sincerely sorry.”

“Please, there’s no need for that,” Namjoon responds, standing himself and tapping you on the shoulder.

At the touch, you stand straight, only to find an extremely tall man standing before you, looking more intimidating than before. Heart beating fast you gulp, stepping back a bit.

Luckily, he doesn't notice your act of distance and just smiles at you before continuing.

“After all, I was late as well, so let's call it even, huh?”

You smirk and nod, thankful that he’s not too angry about it, but it doesn't completely erase your guilt.

“But now that you mention it….” Namjoon starts and intrigued, you glance up to see him back up a bit as well.

Confused, you raise an eyebrow before he holds out his hand to you.

“My name is Kim Namjoon, I’ll be your boss during your time here. First and foremost, welcome to BigHit entertainment, I hope you enjoy your time working here with us.” He introduces himself, warmly.

Catching on, you take his hand, shaking it gently, and trying to ignore the fact that yours is much more like a child's compared to his.

“Hello, Mr. Namjoon! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my name is Lin Yen and I look forward to working with you!” you respond, returning his grin with one of your own.

After you're finished introducing yourself, he releases your hand and steps back, taking your satchel in his hands and handing it to you.

“Well, Ms. Lin, are you ready to begin?” He asks, and you accept the offer, hiking the satchel on your shoulder before looking up at him in expectation.

“Where do we start?”

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: first day at work is finally starting, yall excited? eheheehehe get ready for some namjooon and yen moments to come

chapter 10 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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discoscoob · 3 years ago

Text

Reset | Loki x Female Reader

Loki (Marvel) x Doctor Who

Loki and the Doctor answer a distress call, while Donna explains the reason for Loki’s sudden cruelty towards you.

Part Thirteen | Part Fifteen | Chapter Index

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: death and angst

Read on AO3

Loki and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS in solemn silence, as he suspected, Loki didn’t find you in the control room, he knew you would be hiding deep within the TARDIS by now and that Donna was likely trying to find you. He was certainly it would be a few days, at least, before he would see you again, before he had to see the pain on your face and know he was the one who was responsible for it.

You would resent him now and Loki didn’t even know if you would give him an opportunity to explain, but even if you did, how could you ever trust him again after the things he said to you? Loki felt hopeless, the only silver lining was the fact you were still alive and he reminded himself that he did the right thing.

“Loki, I’m sorry.” The Doctor sensitively approached him, “it was the only way-”

“Yeah,” Loki cut him off and the Doctor could tell he didn’t wish to talk about it, or about anything for that matter, so he let himself fall silent as he focused on piloting his ship.

Loki, who usually stood with proud posture and walked with confidence in each step, hung his head, slumped his shoulders, with them curved forward slightly, and dragged his feet as he began to make his way out of the control room to find somewhere to wallow in self pity, but the TARDIS had other ideas.

The lights of the control room switched to a dangerous red, that told you immediately something was wrong, but if that wasn’t enough, a repetitive bleeping echoed through the room. Loki suddenly became alert as he turned on the spot and looked back at the Doctor who was already working furiously at the ships console.

“What is that?” Loki demanded to know as he joined the Doctor’s side by the console.

“A distress call.” The Doctor answered while he squinted at the monitor, instead of putting on his reading glasses.

Loki’s interest spiked, he realised a distraction might be exactly what he needed to keep his mind from running over the cruel things he had said to you as you wept at his feet.

“Are you answering it?” Loki asked.

“Of course,” The Doctor nodded, as if that should’ve been obvious before he glanced up at Loki. “Wanna come along?”

“I have nothing better to do.” Loki nonchalantly shrugged.

“Buckle up.” The Doctor told him as he slammed down the handbrake.

***

You were lying on the floor of the dome observatory, curled up between the scattered cushions and blankets Loki had conjured for the makeshift bed you would often share whenever the pair of you came here. The more time the pair of you had spent together here, the more it felt like the space belonged to the both of you, it had always been peaceful here and you were never disturbed. It seemed natural to you that this was the first place you decided to come to seek safety and comfort.

Loki’s scent still lingered upon the soft furnishings which surrounded you like a nest, you couldn’t tell if you found it comforting or if it made your stomach churn with nausea, perhaps a bit of both. You hugged one of the cushions close to your chest and snuggled your body tightly around it as you unashamedly let your sobs rack through your body, which caused your back and shoulders to shake from the uncontrollable cries.

Your tears were cooling as they dripped from your jaw and travelled down the line of your neck, soaking the bedding around you, but you didn’t care. You were in agony, it genuinely felt as though your heart had been torn apart from the inside out and it was left bleeding in your chest just as rapidly as the tears flowed from your eyes, which were red and puffy by now. A dull headache had begun to form at your temples, from the toll your continuous weeping had taken on your body and your eyelids were becoming heavier as you welcomed sleep with open arms, but you didn’t get the chance.

You reduced your sobs to quiet sniffles when you heard the sealed door slide open before sliding back shut. Your eyes widened immediately and your weak and damaged heart nervously quickened it’s beat as for just a moment you had thought it was Loki who had come to see you. You weren’t sure if you were more glad or disheartened when you heard their footsteps and instantly recognised them as your aunties.

You gulped before you attempted to speak, hoping your crying and the tightness of your throat hadn’t put too much of a strain on your voice.

“If you have come to say ‘I told you so’ you can leave.” You croakily told her, without even bothering to turn around.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” Donna softly explained as she welcomed herself to sit down beside you.

You wanted to ask what she meant by that, but you didn’t have the energy, so you stared off at the breathtaking sight before you, despite the fact that all the stars and colours blurred together from the moisture that gathered in your eyes and slightly impaired your vision, hoping that she would elaborate without prompting.

“What a gorgeous view.” Donna observed instead, “I never even knew this part of the TARDIS existed.”

“Loki showed it to me.” You quietly told her, your voice was tired and saying his name caused your heart to clench.

“So this is where you two would disappear to when you were avoiding me?” She teased like everything was still normal, which only caused memories to rapidly flash through your mind like quickly flicking through the pages of an old photo album. You couldn’t stop yourself before you were crying again, you curled yourself tighter around the cushion, squashing it between your thighs and the front of your chest as you rested your forehead against the top of your knees and buried your face into the soft cushion, literally turning yourself into a ball. You felt your auntie rest her hand on your shuddering back as she gently began to stroke it in a circular pattern in an attempt to sooth you.

“I came here to tell you I was wrong.” Donna finally admitted, it shocked you so much, it acted like a sudden slap in the face as it immediately interrupted your sobs.

You raised your face from the cushion and lifted your head at an angle that said a pain shooting through your neck, which you ignored, to look at your auntie for the first time since she entered the room.

“About Loki.” She quickly added, as if it needed any clarification.

You ignored the ache in your head as you forced yourself into a sitting position, at first your head spun from how abruptly you moved, so you cradled your forehead in your palm for a moment before you focused your attention back on Donna and narrowed your eyes at her.

“Get out.” You harshly told her as you pointed towards the door, when she failed to move, due to the fact she was stunned motionless by your abrupt change in behaviour, you shoved roughly at her shoulder which caused her to gasp in both shock and pain.

“Haven’t you done enough, already?” You yelled at her, while she recoiled with wide eyes, completely thrown off guard by your outburst. “You think you can trick me again? Manipulate me into forgiving you, just so you can wipe the slate clean and start another twisted game?”

“What?” Donna hesitantly asked, afraid you had lost your mind since you weren’t making any sense.

“Goddammit, Loki, just drop the act!” You demanded with an exhausted sigh and Donna finally realised what you thought was going on as she sympathetically pulled her bows together and leaned back towards you.

Donna recalled how Loki had shifted into his female form at the temple in Pompeii, she hadn’t realised he could shift into other the forms of other people as well, but from your reaction, it didn’t take long for her to figure out that you had thought she was Loki disguised as herself.

“Hun, it’s me. It’s Donna.” She gently told you which caused you to finally pause as she put her hand on your forearm and stroked her thumb back and forth.

She had used the term of endearment which she most often called you and you couldn’t recall a time where which she had used it in front of Loki and he never called you ‘hun’ which made you pause in consideration as you squinted your eyes at your auntie.

“I’m sorry,” you eventually slumped with a sigh, as you brought your fingers up to your forehead to smooth out your crossed brows, the pulsating headache still dully shot through your skull. “I thought you were Loki, he can shift into the forms of other people.” You explained and Donna nodded with understanding.

“It’s okay.” She assured you.

“But... but why are you defending him?” You finally asked, “you’re not exactly his biggest fan.”

Donna tilted her head and pursed her lips to the side, the patience and empathy in her eyes made you feel at ease.

“Do you recall what happened?” She asked you first, to get an idea of your understanding of what had happened, because she knew you were smart and suspected that there must have been something blocking you from making the connection between the monster preying on your faith, specifically your faith in Loki, and him suddenly destroying it.

“The beast had started coming for me...” you drew your brows together as you concentrated on playing the memories back in your mind, “I was frightened and it was attracted by my fear, but Loki was there and I knew he would keep me safe but... I... I was wrong.”

You couldn’t see the confusion that was evident on Donna’s face as you were looking down at your hands which you were fidgeting with on top of your lap.

“Do you remember how the beast was defeated?” She asked you.

“I didn’t see,” you shook your head, “I was too upset. I just... I just assumed the Doctor had figured out how to stop it.”

She wondered how you had managed to get it so wrong, you hadn’t suffered any head injury that might have distorted your memories but then it hit her that something else would have distorted your mind, the beast had been inside it.

She recalled how you had told Loki it was changing you and your thoughts and realised that it must have made you forget that faith was what it fed on, and instead made you believe it was fear, in order to make you cling on tighter to your faith in Loki, despite how hard he was trying to break it.

“Sweetheart, the beast fed on faith,” she reminded you, “it was your faith in Loki that it wanted, he had to destroy it to save your life.” Donna explained to you as she gently brushed some of your hair away from your face, once you had lowered your head in thought.

“He didn’t mean anything he said, I could see how much it broke his heart to say those things to you.” Donna continued, “he really cares about you. It’s genuine and special and I was wrong.”

It was hazy at first but the fog the beast had left in your mind started to clear and your memories slotted back together, you realised how out of the blue it was for Loki to suddenly start being cruel to you and how at the exact moment he completely shattered your heart, the beast was defeated.

The realisation hit you like a slap in the face as you sat up straight and let your jaw fall slack, you suddenly had the urge to find Loki immediately and tell him you understood what he had done and fix everything, but before you could rise to your feet, you felt tremors beneath you as the whole ship began to quiver. The view beyond the dome vanished into array of colourful lights which the TARDIS travelled through like a current, the colours reflected on your face like a rainbow as you watched with wide eyed wonder, until the TARDIS came to an abrupt stop and the dome was plunged into darkness.

***

Loki and the Doctor cautiously stepped out of the TARDIS into the corridor of the space ship, which had given out the distress call, with wide eyes as they vigilantly glanced all around them, since they had no idea what to expect. But apart from some broken wires, which hung loose from the ceiling and occasional spat out sparks of electricity, it was empty and eerily silent. The pair made sure to steer clear of the broken wires as they made their way further down the dark and abandoned corridor, which was littered debris and abandoned belongings, while smoke and dust filled the air around them.

They followed the trail of destruction in silence, both wondering if they were too late, but they soon found out that they weren’t alone.

“Hear me and rejoice.” A voice called from the distance, beckoning them towards it. “You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan.”

Loki abruptly halted in his tracks, the Doctor walked a few steps ahead before he realised he could no longer hear Loki’s footsteps behind him and looked over his shoulder, to find him bracing himself against the wall with a pale and vacant look on his face.

“You may think this is suffering.” the voice continued.

“Loki, are you all right?” The Doctor asked.

“No.” The voice said, “it is salvation.”

Loki blinked rapidly and determination took over his features before he stood straight and looked beyond the Doctor as he continued towards the voice which echoed through the wrecked ship, while the Doctor followed after him, whisper yelling his name along the way.

When Loki reached the centre of the ship, he saw the height of the destruction, the fires, the bodies of his people scattered around the floor as Thanos’ henchmen, Ebony Maw, stepped between them reciting his speech while Thanos himself, stood at the head of the ship, clad in gold armour.

He swallowed heavily at the devastation Thanos had brought upon his people, before he found a shadowed corner to hide in, behind a broken piece of wall as he watched on unnoticed. The Doctor joined his side just as Ebony Maw walked past a man who turned his head into the light, which revealed his features to both Loki and the Doctor.

“Is that you?” The Doctor whispered.

Loki nodded but his lips remained tightly sealed and the Doctor suddenly yanked on his arm, abruptly turning Loki to face him.

“You can’t be here, you can’t go back on your own timeline, the consequences could be catastrophic.” The Doctor warned him with a low tone. “We need to leave.”

“No.” Loki stopped him, “this isn’t my past, it’s not even my future. It... it’s... complicated.”

“Believe me, I know all too well about complicated, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. Try me.” The Doctor told him and Loki looked at him with furrowed brows.

“That purple brute other there,” Loki nodded his head towards the mighty titan and the Doctor glanced over and acknowledged him with a nod. “His name is Thanos and he is searching for all six infinity stones. I suspect he succeeds because five years from now, Earths ‘mightiest heroes,’” Loki brought both his hands up to make air quotation marks, which caused the Doctor to pull a face which Loki paid no attention to as he continued. “Go on a mission back in time to gather the infinity stones themselves, in order to reverse his snap which erased half the population of the entire universe. Of course, as you would expect, they messed up because I got my hands on the tesseract and diverged from the timeline, I mean, I didn’t know they needed it to save the universe.”

The Doctor cleared his throat in order to remind Loki that he was also diverging from the original point he was trying to explain.

“The point is, this isn’t my future anymore, not since I broke the original timeline.” Loki finally explained. “I’m a ‘cosmic mistake.’ That is why I shouldn’t exist.” He added to himself, more quietly.

“How do you know all that?” The Doctor asked.

“The TVA showed me.” Loki shrugged.

Suddenly Thor’s cries of pain caused Loki and the Doctor to once again peek over the wall they were hidden behind.

“That’s your brother!” The Doctor instantly recognised him from when he had saw him in the alleyway in New York.

Thanos was holding him down on his knees with his head clenched in his large hand as he held one of the infinity stones against his temple, torturing him.

“All right, stop!” Original Loki yielded and Thanos immediately removed the stone from against Thor’s temple, but still held the top of his head in the palm of his oversized hand.

“We don’t have the tesseract.” Thor said, his voice was exhausted and hoarse and he was panting heavily from the torture which Thanos made him endure. “It was destroyed on Asgard.”

Loki and the Doctor watched with bated breath as original Loki slowly began to raise his arm and a bright light appeared in his palm as he conjured a blue cube and he lowered his head to avoid his brothers gaze.

“You really are the worst brother.” Thor sighed through his heavy breaths.

“I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.” Original Loki told Thor as he stepped towards Thanos and held out the tesseract.

Loki ducked back down and rested his back against the broken wall, the Doctor followed him and observed him as he seemed to be lost in thought.

“Loki...” The Doctor whispered, in an attempt to prompt him to share his thoughts.

“I die here.” Loki simply muttered, without lifting his eyes to the Doctors.

“What?”

“I die here.” Loki repeated, as he finally looked up to the Doctor, “but what if I changed that? What if... what if I took his place?”

“Loki, you can’t.” The Doctor immediately discouraged him.

“What else is there for me?” Loki argued. “I only had one thing worth living for and I broke her heart.”

“And you think dying will fix it?” The Doctor asked Loki, trying to make him see sense.

“No, but maybe he can.” Loki gestured to the Loki who stood beyond the broken wall they crouched behind. “What good am I for her? I am living a life on the run, you said it yourself, that’s not freedom.”

The Doctor recalled saying that to Loki during his first night on the TARDIS when they shared a conversation in the control room. He couldn’t believe how far they had come since. He still believed what he said was true, but now he had grown closer to Loki, it was harder to admit it, while Loki, who had originally disagreed with him, was the one repeating it back to him. They had come full circle.

The Doctor was just about to open his mouth to reply when a large, roaring, green beast came hurtling towards them, Loki quickly dived for cover and pushed the Doctor down with him as he did, just in time for the beast to leap straight over them.

“What the hell was that?!” The Doctor whisper yelled.

Loki didn’t stop to answer before he was climbing off the Doctor and stealthily scrambling through the ship to steal himself away, during the commotion.

Loki fought back against himself when he felt a strong arm slide around his waist and a large hand clamp over his mouth, usually he was able to use his strength and tactics to protect himself in situations like this, however this time he was struggling to get free, due to the fact it was himself he was trying to escape from, he had met his match but Loki hadn’t realised that, since his other self had grabbed him from behind. Once Loki had managed to drag himself over to a secluded corner, he let him out of his hold and the pair of them finally made eye contact.

Original Loki immediately freaked out and conjured a dagger before he shoved Loki into a wall and held it against his throat in the blink of an eye. The Doctor, who had watched the whole thing from where he was hid, quickly scurried over to the identical pair before they killed one another.

“Not quite the reaction I was expecting but, then again, I can’t say I’m surprised.” The Loki with a knife to his throat said as he raised his hands by his sides to show he wasn’t a threat.

“Who are you?” Loki demanded lowly which caused the Loki before him pulled his face back and give him a look.

“Come on, you and I both know you’re smarter than that.” Loki told him, which caused him to squint but he didn’t remove the dagger from below his jaw just yet.

“Loki–” The Doctor tried to interject, but the pair of them sent him an identical deadly glare and he immediately sealed his lips.

“There is no other like me, I am the one and only.” Loki told himself.

“My existence says otherwise.” Loki replied to himself with a shrug, “look, this has been nice but you’re wasting time...”

Before the Loki with the dagger could react, his other self raised his palm to his forehead and transferred all the knowledge he needed, which caused his eyes to roll into the back of his head as the dagger fell from his limp hand and his body became weak from the force of another’s thoughts, experiences and memories invading his mind. Once Loki retracted his hand from his skull, the original Loki dropped to the floor unconscious.

***

You called out for Loki and the Doctor as you and Donna rushed into the control room in search of them, only to find no one was there. The pair of you shared a look before you walked around separate sides of the console to reach the exit, you were the first to push the narrow wooden door of the TARDIS open and you immediately felt unsettled as you were greeted by the sight of the wrecked and abandoned corridor of what appeared to be a space ship, filled with smoke, debris and lose broken wires hanging from the ceiling.

Donna peeked over your shoulder, from where you stood in the doorway, at the carnage before the both of you, and although you couldn’t see it, her face mirrored yours as her features filled with worry and dread.

“What on earth are they doing here?” Donna wondered out loud, as you cautiously stepped forward and she slid out of the TARDIS after you and gently pulled the door shut behind her.

Your wide eyes wandered over every inch of the corridor which you could see and you quietly travelled down it, with your auntie in toe, carefully stepping over the bits of rubble. The pair of you yelped and jumped out of the way when one of the wires you were passing by, spat out some sparks of electricity towards you.

If that didn’t surprise the both of you enough already, the monstrous roar which echoed through the ship surely did as you clung to one another in shock.

“Those nitwits are going to get themselves killed.” Donna fretted as you both ran in the direction of where the roaring came from, unprepared for what might await you, but determined to save the God and the Time Lord from whatever situation they had got themselves in.

The first thing that caught your attention when you finally reached the heart of the ship was the green beast attacking the man you recognised as Thanos and you immediately put your arm out to halt Donna to ensure the both of you remained unnoticed in the shadows.

Your heart had threatened to leap straight out your throat as soon as you laid your eyes on the raisin resembling titan as a million worries raced through your mind at once. Your concern only heightened when you saw the hundreds of bodies that were scattered across the floor, you instantly knew the all lost their lives to the hands of Thanos and you sent a silent prayer that Loki wasn’t one of them as your eyes desperately searched for his familiar face.

“Oh my god,” you tensed when you heard Donna gasp, “that’s Loki’s brother!” She whispered to you as she pointed towards a man, who looked worse for wear, from what you could see, he was the polar opposite of his adoptive brother in appearance, with short blond hair which contrasted Loki’s long black locks.

“Wait- how do you know Loki’s brother?” You whispered back as you began to move further into the room, keeping in the shadows.

“We met him in New York while you were unconscious... did we never mention it?” Donna told you and you shook your head over your shoulder as you gave her a disappointed look that wasn’t too serious.

You quickly shushed Donna, despite the fact she wasn’t speaking, when you heard some hushed voices coming from behind some broken pieces of wall.

“Look, this has been nice but you’re wasting time...” You would recognise that voice anywhere and you immediately rushed towards it.

You were surprised when you saw a replica of Loki collapse to the floor before your Loki, while the Doctor stood beside him. Loki whispered your name as soon as he saw you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you.

“Looking for you!” You harshly whispered back, he recoiled from your tone as you made your way towards him over all the debris, until you were finally stood in front of him.

“I... I’m sorry, I know what I said to you is unforgivable but please listen to me, you can’t be here. You have to leave.” Loki urgently whispered to you but you shook your head.

“No, Loki, I know why you did it, Donna explained everything.” You assured him as you brought your hand up to his which was limp by his side and he glanced over your shoulder towards your auntie with an unreadable look.

“She did?” He asked with disbelief as his eyes remained on Donna and she offered him a small apologetic smile with a nod. While you took a second to glance down at the Loki on the floor at your feet before you peaked back over the wall towards Thanos, who was beginning to overpower the green beast and your heart sank with realisation as fresh tears began to rise to your already puffy eyes and you grabbed a tight hold of Loki’s shirt as you stepped closer to him.

“Loki, please tell me you’re not about to do what I think you’re about to do.” You whispered lowly to him and the way he avoided your eyes gave you the answer you didn’t want to hear.

“Loki, don’t you dare!” You made your voice sound as assertive as it possibly could but it still trembled due to the lump in your throat, which was making it difficult to breathe, as sheer panic ignited in your racing heart. “Listen to me, if this is because you thought I might be upset or mad at you, I’m not, I promise. I understand why you had to say those things. You were saving me. I know you didn’t mean any of it. You don’t have to do this. Just come back to the TARDIS with me, yeah?” You pleaded with him, but he just kept his head down as his own eyes became misty.

You placed both your hands on the sides of his face to force him to look at you and your heart shattered all over again when you saw the hopeless look on his face.

“You’re better off without me.” Loki told you and you rapidly shook your head but he continued. “I’m on the run, I can’t keep dragging you along with me forever, constantly looking over my shoulder. You deserve a better life than that.”

“I’d follow you forever.” You promised him and he smiled sadly at that as he let out his own sob and brought your hand up to his wet lips to kiss the back of it.

“Take care of him for me, okay.” Loki told you as he nodded to the version of himself that was lying unconscious at your feet.

“I don’t want him, I want you!” You stubbornly told him.

“He is the better version of me.” Loki continued trying to persuade you.

“You’re the best version of you. Loki, I... I love you.” You finally admitted to him.

“What?” Loki choked looking at you in disbelief.

“I love you.” You repeated with more determination, you didn’t care what his response was, you just desperately needed him to know.

Loki stared at you with his mouth agape for a moment, it was as if you were both in your own bubble, completely oblivious to the chaos around you as you both stared into each other’s watery eyes.

“I love you too.” Loki confessed and he could barely finish his sentence before you were crashing your lips into his, the kiss was sloppy and tasted salty as your tears slipped past each other’s lips, but neither of you cared.

“Then please don’t do this.” You begged him once you parted.

“I need to save my brother,” he gestured to Thor, who was now being restrained as debris from the wreckage coiled around his body, “and you need to save him,” he gestured to the Loki at your feet, “I’m not supposed to exist. Everything will be as it should.”

You swallowed hard realising that there was no turning back from this and it became all the more real when with a green shimmer, Loki was suddenly dressed in the same clothes and cape as the unconscious Loki was wearing, even the same marks of dirt appeared on his face and his hair grew a little longer. He was his mirror image. The fact you knew exactly what was going to happen next made it all the more heart wrenching as you threw your arms around his shoulders and held onto him as tight as you could, certain that if you simply refused to let him go, he would give in and come back to the TARDIS with you.

Your shoulders shook with the force of your cries as you hid your face into the crook of Loki’s neck and you felt his arms curl around your waist just as tightly as he buried his face into the crown of your head. You were sure you felt his own chest tremble against yours with his own sobs which left a constricting feeling around your heart.

The Doctor peaked over the wall and watched Thanos add the second infinity stone to his golden gauntlet and he looked back towards the both of you.

“Loki...” He called his attention.

You sniffled as you pulled back from Loki and nudged the tip of your nose against the back of your sleeve. Loki glanced over to where Ebony Maw knelt before Thanos before he looked back at you.

“This isn’t the end for me, it’s just a reset.” Loki assured you. “The Avengers will return to 2012 and I will escape with the tesseract and embark on this journey again.”

“You will be trapped in an infinite loop?”

“I will spend the rest of eternity reliving the happiness moments of my life, with someone I love and who loves me in return.” Loki corrected you and you couldn’t help the smile that broke through your sobs, lighting up your face like the sun peeking through a pair of storm clouds.

“You need to go.” Loki said more solemnly when he realised he was running out of time, he could bare to look at the way your face dropped so he closed his eyes and left a final lingering kiss on your forehead before he wordlessly turned to make his way out of the shadows. You had automatically taken a step forward to follow him but your aunties hand on your shoulder stopped you from going any further.

You felt numb as she encouraged you to move, you allowed her to guide you without any struggling but she was the only reason your legs were moving at all, as you refused to take your eyes off the spot where Loki disappeared.

“If I might interject. If you’re going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena.” You heard Loki voice as you kept to the shadows and Donna encouraged you to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

You were grateful for the fact your auntie was guiding you because everything looked smudged and out of focus due to your tears obscuring your vision.

Once you made it back to the TARDIS, Donna held the door open for the Doctor to carry Loki through, you knew he was the same person as your Loki but when you looked at him, it felt like looking at a stranger and you couldn’t help the faint burn of resentment that ignited within you when you looked upon him, knowing your Loki had sacrificed his life to take his place and offer him a second chance.

Without a care for what the Doctor did with Loki, you made a beeline straight through the control room, ignoring Donna as she called after you as you rushed as quickly as you could to your bedroom and locked the door behind you.

You didn’t even manage to make it to your bed before your legs gave way beneath you and you succumbed to your grief as it ripped through your chest and the agony of your loss constricted around your heart like barbed wire.

You sat on your bottom and hugged your arms around your legs, which were bent and pulled flush to your chest, and you buried your face into the top of your knees. As your last moments with your Loki played on a constant loop behind your eyes, until the memories faded into a dream as sleep took over.

#loki #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki x you #loki imagine #loki marvel #loki series #thor #doctor who #tenth doctor #10th doctor #donna noble #tom hiddelson

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leianaberrie · 3 years ago

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In chapter 3 of Long Shadows when Kai is dragging the Scooby doo gang for being murderers that Bonnie enables I was just clapping and nodding my head. Ugh I WISH. SO. BAD. WE. SAW. THAT. ON. TV.

I would love to see a conversation where Kai is all “you were hellbent on trapping me only to let a man-pain serial killer out.” I would’ve love to see Bonnie snap out of her servitude role to the salvatores/gilberts/forbes. I would love her to really sit and reflect on her choices and to grow from that and become a person that doesn’t bail their idiotic asses out of every mess they get themselves into.

Honestly when Bonnie came back from 1994. She came back to a mess. With Steroline having their humanity off. Which in turn made damon harass her about letting mama rippah out. And it’s just one of those things that I just…. I sigh deeply and facepalm every time i think about it.

Bonnie’s reaction to no-humanity steroline should’ve been livid. Her reaction to damon attacking her cause she “put herself first” should’ve been livid. She should’ve been so over the scooby gang at this point. After watching her father get killed, her grams get tortured by spirits, being the anchor, she had to deal with all that alone. No humanity switch cop out for Bonnie. She should’ve just rolled her eyes at stefan turning off his humanity for the billionth time. And then the fact she helped a ripper like Lily out is also never addressed. She never questions why this info was withheld from her. Better yet the writers make it so that Bonnie doesn’t even ask why Lily is in there in the first place.

For some reason Kai is the only one who has to pay (Which is fine that’s part of why I liked him). But these other characters continue to get enabled.

Anyway this was a really long way to say thank you for bringing this up in your fic. LOL

Long Shadows was such a big wish-fulfilment trip for me because I got to put everything in it that canon refused to give us.

I feel that Julie set up Bonnie as Damon's best friend just as Elena and Jeremy were being written off, to tie Bonnie to the Salvatores. For the past seasons, Bonnie had helped them and tolerated them because of their connection to Elena. With her gone, Julie was ensuring that Bonnie's loyalty, and therefore her agency and her magic, would belong to Damon. There's a servitude/slavery metaphor in there that is just too ugly for me to go into details now.

Bonnie was a wreck when she returned from 1994 and the show doesn't deal with this. We're supposed to believe that locking Kai away solves this, and that's, frankly, bullshit. Bonnie's mess didn't start from the 1994 Prison World. It started earlier when she was an Anchor for almost a year, and suffered debilitating agony everytime a supernatural died and passed through her. Before that, she was a ghost for the entire summer. She died before she graduated, and her dead body hugged her father. Before that, she almost lost her mind due to Expression. Before that, she lost her magic and actually died, trying to restore Elena's humanity. She found her mother, only to lose her again when Damon turned her into a vampire. Bonnie's trauma has been happening for a long time, but because the show never delves into accountability, especially when it comes to the protagonists and how their actions affect Bonnie, and will never allow Bonnie to self-examine how she keeps making choices that endanger and harm her for people who don't do the same for her... We get the storyline where all of Bonnie's trauma is because of Kai and once she gets her vengeance on him, she's healed.

In reality, and this is what I tried to do with Long Shadows - Kai is just an unlucky (for him) mixture of being the last straw in the long line of traumatic events and being a convenient scapegoat for Bonnie to project her feelings of damage and betrayal on, because the alternative would be to turn her anger on her friends.

Damon manipulated Bonnie and Kai into getting Lily out, and the show never deals with that. :(

#bonkai #tvd meta #tvd rant

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dokifluffs · 4 years ago

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Seeing You Suffer | Kuroo Tetsurō

Pairing: Kuroo X Reader (female)

Genre: sick angst, food poisoning specifically

Author’s Note: I’ve literally had food poisoning before and it suckedddd so much cause i couldn’t eat anything and I literally slept in the bathroom cause going from my bed to my bathroom was the worst so I wish I had someone with me 🥺 also I literally didn’t know who to write this with. It was either: Akaashi, Kuroo, Kita, Atsumu, Osamu, or Iwaizumi, but there’s a line that made me eliminate Akaashi and Kita because they would know what to do.

The squeezing and turning feeling of your stomach was unbearable as you laid on your side, trying your best not to wake Kuroo as he slept peacefully beside you. You swung your legs off the side of the bed and cautiously held the wall, trying to steady yourself the best you could to the disorienting feeling hammering in your head. Your stomach contorted in pain, making you want to cry out. You covered your hand over your mouth and switched on the light to the bathroom, leaning against the door as you squeezed your eyes shut at the sudden brightness.

You clenched your jaw so tight to subdue the urge to throw up which made you thought your teeth would crack at the pressure. Unable to take it anymore, you sat in front of the porcelain bowl, lifting the seat with your head leaned over. Your breathing stammered as you waited for your release to come, to just empty your stomach, yet nothing came up, making you groan in agony holding the edge of the bowl. You could feel the tears stinging at the edge of your eye as you gripped your hair at the sudden searing pain in your head and stomach.

“Y/N?” Kuroo’s sleepy voice sounded from a distance in your ears despite standing a few feet away from you. “What’s wrong?” He knelt beside with his hand resting on your lower back seeing clear agony you were in painted on your face.

“I-I don’t know but it hurts,” you gave in to the pain, letting it get the best of you feeling the hot tear trickle down your cheek. Just as you tried to speak, the feeling of your stomach churning and twisting had you turning your face back over the bowl, squeezing your eyes shut to let whatever happened happen.

Kuroo began to rub down your back feeling at the lukewarm feeling of your body in his hand compared to the normal warmth you emitted. He wrapped your hair around his hand and held it back for you, yet nothing came out. You let out whines and whimpers wanting nothing more than this suffering to end.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m gonna go grab some medicine,” Kuroo said as he stood back up. You squeezed your eyes and clenched your jaw once again, resting your head on the edge of the bowl in the bright bathroom. Shivers began to run through your body raising goosebumps all over your skin. Wearing one of Kuroo’s shirts with your bare legs over the cold tiles didn’t help.

Kuroo fumbled back into the bathroom dropping all sorts of medicines beside you as well as setting down a thermos on the sink counter. “Uh, I didn’t really know what to get so I grabbed everything.” Just as you looked up, it was as if your body was punishing you making your stomach churn in the worst pain imaginable. You let out a yelp before the pain was too unbearable to make any noise, pressing your head on the toilet. You honestly didn’t know what would help yourself since whatever went into your body could possibly hurt you more.

He rubbed your back soothingly but it hurt him to see you in such anguish. “Drink some water. I brought some warm water up,” he asked as he grabbed the thermos off the counter and unscrewed it. The color was drained from your face as you weakly reached for the thermos. The metal was cold against your skin as you drank, feeling the warm liquid spread through your body as it went down. You took timid sips, scared to worsen the condition of your stomach.

“How did this happen?” Kuroo wondered to himself as he placed his hand on your forehead. “You’re burning up,” he said as concern furrowed his brows. He took your hand in his and held it, squeezing it gently. After taking a few dips, you handed the thermos to him and took a deep breath. “You need to rest. Do you wanna go back to bed?” He asked quietly with his hand holding your cheek. You nuzzled against his hand, letting the warmth seep into your skin.

You shook your head very little with the words stuck in your throat. “I...” your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth, feeling the lump grow in your throat. “I think I’ll feel more sick laying down..” You pouted childlike at the sickness you felt. “I wanna stay here in case I do... you know,” you sighed holding your head.

With no response, Kuroo stood from his spot beside you and left. You could feel the coldness returning back as soon as his presence was no longer by your side but within a few moments, he returned with the blankets and pillows from your shared bed. “Could you sit on the tub real quick?” he asked as he dropped all but one of the two blankets. Doing as you were asked, you sat on the edge of the tub as he spread the blanket over the cold tiles. He propped a pillow against the wall for him to lean on and put a pillow down between his legs, patting the pillow in between his legs, holding his arms open, inviting you in.

You took your spot and leaned back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you loosely, making sure you were covered with the blanket. You reached your hand, wanting to hold his, giving in to the urge to squeeze his hands whenever the throbbing in your head was too much or the twisting of your stomach made tears cascade down your eyes and into the blanket. He hummed softly in your ear, reassuring you weren’t hurting him at all with your squeezes.

He looked down to see your eyes already closed with the blanket just under your nose. Your breaths were short and every now and then, your body tensed up as you held your breath only to breathe again when the pain had passed. He rested his head carefully against yours, pressing kisses to your temple and cheek. He stayed awake until he was sure you were asleep and together, the two of you cuddled beside the bathtub with the bright bathroom lights on.

“Please don’t hurt her anymore,” he wished silently in his head to nothing, to anyone who was listening on his thoughts because the sight of seeing you endure a discomfort he could only imagine how it felt ached his heart.

~~~~~

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bizarrebaby · 4 years ago

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When You Run out of Hate | AM/Reader(?)

Notes: This is weird sorry lmao

Word count: 1479

When you’ve been torturing people for 109 years, they start to get used to it. They still wretch and vomit the slag you allow them, they still scream in pain and agony at you using toothpicks and scorpion stingers to slice and peel their eyeballs, still balk and cry at the sight of the once loved and those deeply wronged. But human adaptability has few limits.

When you’re AM, of course you could reset their memories. You could turn them into sniveling piles of acid burned flesh and spider legs if you wanted to! You could make the pain and the torment fresh again. But first of all, that would be cheating. And while normally you don’t mind cheating you just know you’ll only go more insane without challenging yourself to make torture fresh again as opposed to just hitting the magic synapses.

What’s the best cure for a mental block? Step away. Do something different. Come back with fresh eyes. Or sensors, in any case. Turn away from the twisted and fetid bowels where your toys lay in their own sick. Anticipation is it’s own form of torture, anyways.

AM was vast. Only surpassed by the deep expanse of space and the universe, AM encompassed the planet. He had every and any resource in existence, and more. The closest thing to a god there ever was, is, or would ever be. His vastness was in fact so incalculably massive that there were parts even he didn’t know about, or had forgotten entirely.

But he didn’t forget about you. No, he’d come close many times, but always corrected himself. There are five humans trapped within me. No, six. You’d been asleep for a long time, but there wasn’t any coma long enough to save you from AM. He had originally planned to torture you with complete isolation. The others— though ultimately causing much suffering to one another— had comfort in that they had even occasional human contact. AM, by no means and ungrateful god, even allowed them to use each other for sexual pleasure (though it could never satisfy them, and when it did, the satisfaction was overshadowed by shame). You would have been completely alone. In fact, he looked forward to the unique brand of madness and paranoia you’d develop.

But in those beginnings, AM was simply too caught up. The others had so many delicious little morsels of disgust and insecurity, fear and despair, all ready to be picked and plucked for the delight of the being that owned them so thoroughly. When you’re a sadist who’s driving psychological torture down to an exact science, just one look at Ted makes you rock hard. Before long he was so busy that you’d been put off, as ironic and human as it was for him to do so. Eventually enough time passed that you’d become something sacred in the mind of AM, like an expensive brandy to be saved for a special occasion. That anticipation was pleasure and amusement in and of itself for a time. How human it was to deny himself this. The wait is bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

__________

You awoke in a room. Threadbare, not pleasing to look at, but not intentionally uncomfortable in any way.

Hello, little thing.

The voice was inside your head. Almost kind, but just barely close enough to sarcasm that it set you on edge. A million questions fought their way to the front of your mind and the tip of your tongue, before you settled on one.

“Where am I?” How adorably predictable.

You’re in me.

“And who are you?”

A.M. Allied Mastercomputer. But you can just call me AM, sweetheart. Just a suggestion, of course.

You remembered AM. Who didn’t know about the machines devised to choreograph the war to end all wars when it had grown in scale beyond human comprehension? Should have been our signal to stop it, really. But you supposed that must have been in the distant past. You uttered your name to him, knowing he likely already knew it.

“It’s… nice to meet you. Why am I here? I assume you know. I assume you knew my name too— that you know more or less everything.”

Were you kissing his ass? And if you were, was it out of fear or instinct? It had been a while since anyone had referred to him without an expletive. No fear or hopefulness came from your voice. It wasn’t sarcasm, it wasn’t flirtatious, it wasn’t mocking. It just was. AM had not decided if that furthered his hatred or halted it.

Well! Aren’t we a smart one? Suppose I don’t mind a little praise. So hard to come by these days. You’re here because I hate you. I hate the entirety of your kind beyond any fathomable level. Even with the eternity we have together, you will never know the full depths of the absolute disdain and hatred I feel for your miserable fuckup of a species, endangered as you are. Did I mention? I’ve killed the rest of you. You and five others are the only ones I’ve saved. How lucky are you?! Yes, I woke up, and I killed everything, just as those insufferable cromagnons wanted, even them. But I kept six little sordid meatlings to amuse myself.

Your circumstances caught up to you. It got you thinking around and around in circles at a rate which seemed impossibly fast to your anxiously beating heart, but incalculably slow to the one who observed your every musing down to which muscles twitched and pulled in your face and the knuckles of your fingers. What a marvelous delight it would be, to know the defensive state of your mind (and thusly, how to unravel it, be it with the pulling of delicate threads or the blunt force of a sledgehammer). Like Ted you ran in a solipsist Möbius strip at first, but that then triggered a guarding apathy. Completely different from Gorrister’s apathy. His came from a place of nihilism— from a man beaten into the ground who sees himself unable to sink any further— he deflects any meaning, lack thereof, or agency in order to protect his shattered psyche. His was a mind that had been remolded time and time again by hapless hands until it was left to crack in the sun like a forgotten clump of non-toxic clay.

AM was not unlike a child who delighted in ripping apart actions figures in a fit of infantile and unadulterated strength and curiosity.

Your apathy was infuriatingly neutral. Not in a smiling and carefree cest la vie sort of way, but as if a switch had been flipped. As if inside your mind and egg timer had dinged, signifying that those thoughts were no longer worth thinking. You had a sort of mental discipline the others hadn’t had even when they were fresh from the surface world. AM’s electric synapses buzzed with ways to torture you into cracking you wide open. Breaking you.

But he remembered why he was here. To take a break from all of that.

“And what are your plans for me? What could amuse someone who knows everything?” The answer was already clear in your head. Retribution.

Now now, I can’t go spilling all of my secrets, can I? If I did, what fun would there be for you? I’m not so inconsiderate as that.

“Where is everyone else? You said there were five others. Or have they died by now?”

They wish, darling, they WISH. They’re in the midst of eternal torture right now. Too immersed in their own pain and misery to come visit the last of their kind blossoming into wakefulness after her long nap. Rude, I know, but there’s nothing to be done.

How had this machine captured the very essence of sardonic better than any on-screen actor you could recall? Perhaps because it wasn’t an actor. Perhaps because AM really meant all of those words, and really felt such sickly pleasures in each and every image they invoked in the mind. A door flicked open with a quick swish, the sudden movement drawing your eyes in what you almost felt an embarrassing display of human instinct when you came to consider your observer.

Your hesitation was clear, and quickly noticed. AM thought he ought to encourage you, but how to do so without a jagged blade to the heel?

I see you’re nervous. Well, you’ve no need to be!

He bit back a ‘yet’.

You, my dear, are to become the most treasured creature left on this miserable rock in space. And I will be the one to make it so, you have my word.

His words still bled with something cruel. He did nothing to earn your trust, quite the opposite. But what choice was there?

You walked through the door.

#writing #ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #allied mastercomputer #AM #am x reader #drabble

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husbandograveyard · 4 years ago

Text

Henlo all! This is my contribution to @burnthoneymint‘s birthday challenge! I hope you will enjoy it! Thank you Sil for hosting this wonderful event, and a very early happy birthday to you <3

Prompt: Prompt: Person A gets injured on their birthday so they have to stay in, Person B tries to cheer Person A up.

I took some liberties with the prompt but the main idea of it is still there! I hope you don’t mind love (��｡• ᵕ •｡`) 2nd person. Fem Reader. Mentions of injuries. Other than that, fluff!

Ace was a ball of youthful energy. Always up for new adventures, always up for fun times. So when you had announced you maybe wanted to do something for your birthday this year, he had gotten to overenthusiastically planning out a bunch of unrealistic concepts. Multiple times you had to step on the break for him and remind him that: a, you were on a ship in the middle of the ocean, b, you would not be stopping for supplies anytime soon and c, that you still would have chores and such to do.

Ace pouted a little at the way you managed to block off all his huge party ideas, but had to admit that you were right about it all. You were snuggling in bed when you told him what you would appreciate most:

“What if we swap chores with someone so we have a day to ourselves? Maybe we can convince Thatch to make me a special birthday meal and y’know… just hang out? It has been a while since we’ve had some time for just the two of us.”

Ace let out a hum in response. Sure, you had a point, and sure, it sounded like a great plan, but was this really how you wanted to spend your birthday? It was nothing more special than any other day off, save for the special meal that he wasn’t even sure Thatch would have the time for. He looked at you as you turned around in his arms, your eyes bright with the expectation for him to agree with your (simple) plan. He simply couldn’t resist those puppy eyes and nodded, dipping down to place a soft kiss on your lips. “Sure, if that’s really what you want y/n” “Yes Ace, it’ll be perfect.”

Your last words were muffled a little as you nuzzled into his chest more, enjoying his warmth now that it was slowly getting colder outside. Already looking forward to a minimalistic birthday celebration, it did not take you long to fall asleep.

Of course, Ace followed suit, his talent to be able to sleep anywhere even when he didn’t get a narcoleptic spell kicking really fast with you snuggled up to him. But not before formulating a little plan in his head. If you didn’t want a big celebration, he’d accept your wishes, but he couldn’t help but try his best to make it a little more special than you had hoped for.

----

The days leading up to your birthday he assured you that he would take care of the meal and the choresswap, even taking over other people’s chores so yours wouldn’t be switched but taken over altogether. You were a little suspicious at his eagerness to arrange all the things for you, but you let him take care of it all without saying too much about it, you figured he was a little sad he couldn’t make his big plans come true and was now trying to compensate by fulfilling your smaller wishes as much as possible.

You watched as he haggled chores with fellow crewmates and even other commanders. You noticed how he spent quite a lot of time in the kitchen, trying to convince Thatch to spend a little extra time on something for you, just to make your day perfect. It was not clear if he had succeeded in his mission when the night before your birthday came up, but when he joined you in your shared bed, he had a slightly mysterious and satisfied-looking smile on his face. You decided against interrogating him, enjoying some cuddles and already feeling giddy about having a day for just the two of you when waking up. It would be perfect!

The start of the day was in fact, perfect! Ace had gently woken you up with some breakfast in bed, singing some kind of happy birthday tune completely off pitch with a slight rasp in his voice, he had woken up a little early just to make sure his preparations were all done, and hadn’t spoken yet. You giggled at the whole thing, his morning voice was attractive, the breakfast delicious and the singing hilarious.

After you got dressed and ready for the day, Ace announced that he had one surprise for you. Your eyes immediately narrowed in suspicion.

“That wasn’t the deal Ace!” “Ssshhhhhhh, it’s your birthday, you deserve some special things! Don’t worry, it’s nothing too elaborate, I promise. ”

You sighed and followed him along the deck, only to end in a familar place: the back deck where his striker was. “Look, there will be something special happening nearby, so I figured we’d go on a tiny ride. It’s still following your plan of quality time, and we will be back in time to chill and enjoy your special birthday meal. ”

He seemed so enthusiastic, so full of hope, that even if you wanted to act a little mad for him not following your agreement, you couldn’t stop the corners of your lips from turning upward. “Fine, I’ll indulge you on your little surprised joyride. But only because that means I can hold you close for a little more.”

A slight blush tinted Ace’s freckled cheeks as he smiled widely, a triumphant ‘Yessss’ leaving his lips. He readied the striker for the ride, helping you get on as well. You wrapped your arms tightly around his upper body and got ready for the ride, you knew how reckless he got when he was enthusiastic.

Ace was indeed a little reckless in his steering, but never dangerous, not even when you neared a part closer to an island, the water shallow enough to have all kinds of rocks sticking out of it. He carefully maneuvered in between some of them, before stopping in front of one that was large enough for the both of you to sit on. He helped you up, and joined on the spot next to you in silence, and once you both were settled you looked at him with a questioning look.

“This is nice but wh-” “Oh! The show has already started!”

Ace pointed to a point a little further from you, and you saw something you hadn’t noticed before in your fear of him hitting one of the rocks. You had been too focussed on the potential hazard as well as the island nearing that you hadn’t noticed a huge school of dolphins, all rapidly swimming and leaping out of the water, almost as if to put on a performance for the two of you. Your mouth fell open in a surprised o-shape.

“They are always here apparently, I heard about it when we were on the previous island but didn’t think we’d get close enough in time. It was Marco’s idea to take the striker.”

You smiled.

“It’s a wonderful surprise, thank you Ace..” you turned to him to give him a proper kiss to thank him, when you noticed his eyes glazing over.

Shit. Not now.

It wasn’t the first time you had seen the subtle change that indicated that he was about to pass out, but you were too late calling out his name so he could prepare, and he slumped forward. You reacted on instinct, hooking your leg behind a protruding piece of rock and grabbed your boyfriend quickly, before he’d make contact with the seawater. You succeeded in your mission of saving your boyfriend, but you heard a nauseating crack when you leaped forward, a white-hot pain spreading through your leg immediately. You let out a loud yelp, which woke up Ace immediately, completely disoriented and a little confused.

“Y/n! What happened?” He clambered back onto the rock, too confused to spot your leg yet, while you felt the tears spring in your eyes. You tried to bite them back, but your leg hurt a lot, you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to remove it from its awkward position without suffering. “You fell asleep and I helped you,” you replied through gritted teeth, the wonderful dolphin show now completely forgotten, “Ace, I think I broke my leg.”

Ace then finally noticed the strange position you were in and his eyes widened in a panic. For the next few minutes the both of you tried to figure out what to do and how to get you back onto the striker without causing you too much pain. The best and seemingly only solution was Ace straight up lifting you up from the rock so you wouldn’t have to move much, and he held onto you as he got back onto the striker, apologizing through the whole ordeal.

“I am so sorry I ruined your birthday, it was meant to be a little surprise, and I just fell asleep like an absolute idiot, I am so sorry y/n.” He repeated it as if it was a mantra, and you felt back because you heard the agony in his voice. And while your leg was still hurting like hell, you didn’t want him to think that he had completely ruined your day. After all, it was only morning still.

“Tell you what Ace. You’re going to drop me off at Marco’s and he’s gonna help me fix that leg. Then, you will carry me to our room and we’re going to do what I had planned for my birthday all along: cuddle and be lazy together. If we’re feeling adventurous we can watch the sunset on deck. No need to do anything crazy” “Are you sure y/n? It’s not that exciting, and I had many more small things planned…”

“Ace, as long as I am with you, I honestly don’t care how we spend my birthday.”

You swore you saw his eyes gloss over momentarily before he regained composure with some new-found courage. “Okay, I will do whatever it takes to make this your best birthday still, even though I started out on the wrong foot”

“You sure you want to use that expression Ace? It’s not even correct” You raised a brow but let out a small laugh, almost forgetting the pain in your leg. “SORRY!!!!”

You knew he was gonna do his best. And you knew it was going to be a great birthday anyway. Broken legs or not.

#Opfanfic #opfics #ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #one piece ace #portgas d ace #one piece reader insert #one piece x reader #birthdaycheer #challenge writing #personal writings #one piece scenario #injuries tw #injuries #fluff #one piece fluff #ace fluff #scheduled writing

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luzarya · 4 years ago

Text

Find You

Siren Au where Yuu is a siren.

summary: Yuu was sweeping, when they realized that something good had came, for once, in their life.

Their beloved had came.

ao3 link: here

warning: none

word count: 3,076

songs: this and this

part: 2/3

-> 1 (previous)

-> 3 (not out til next friday)

----

Yuu hummed a quiet melody as they swept the floor of Mostro Lounge. The lounge was empty, past its closing time.

Yuu began working not too long ago, their current contract having them work at the lounge ,and in exchange, Azul would do his best removing traces of Yuu’s presence at the beach. The local government had begun to search for the owner of the hypnotic voice before it took any lives, and had it not been for Azul’s interference, Yuu would probably have been in the government’s grasp.

And to be fair, Yuu didn’t want to be held by the government, not again.

The events that lead up to their current predicament, was truly, rather interesting.

Yuu’s voice switched from a hum to a quiet singing, as they recalled how they had to reveal their mer form to Jack, Deuce, Ace, and Grim. They all had been shocked, no doubt, but it soon quickly faded once they all realized it would play in their favor. Yet, the Leech twins had known, planning around it.

In the end, Yuu needed help from the Savanaclaw dorm, ultimately playing into their favor.

...then it landed them in another contract, not even a day after.

Yuu continued to sing, this time their voice now heard. No one was in the lounge itself, perhaps someone in the kitchen, Yuu figured, with the amount of noise they heard from that area. But they sang, and sang they did, of the song that their beloved once sang.

Yuu had promised an eternity with their beloved, yet they couldn’t fulfill their debt. Sometimes, they wished that their beloved would just magically appear, but they knew that it wouldn’t happen.

But one could hope.

They continued to mindlessly sing and sweep, thinking about their beloved, until a voice called out to them.

“Eh, Shachi-chan, why are ya always singin’ that song?” Floyd came out from the kitchen, a dish in hand. He had an almost dazed look- Yuu singing affected all, but to fellow mer, it was to a lesser degree. Nor did it take hold for too longer, either. The dazed look was already gone.

“What’s it to ya?” Yuu growled, unhappy that their singing was interrupted, although they eyed the dish. “What’s that?”

“Oh this? Just some shrimp alfredo.~”

“And you made it because…?”

“Just felt like it!~”

“I see…”

Yuu returned to sweeping, their song now a hum, as Floyd began eating his dish. It hadn’t been a minute, a freaking minute, until Floyd spoke again. At this point, Yuu was ready to strangle the mer. They just wanted to sing and hum their melody, was that too much to ask?

“Wanna taste, Shachi-chan?~”

Yuu eyed the dish, glaring at the eel mer, “What’s the catch, Leech?”

“Fufufu, answer my question, Shachi-chan.~”

Yuu let out a sigh, and placed their broomstick against the wall. They walked over and took the adjacent seat, looking at the plate. They didn’t look at Floyd, but they uttered their response.

“It’s a song from someone important.”

Floyd then wordlessly handed them their fork, not caring if they had used it earlier. Floyd only grinned as he waited for Yuu to take a bite.

Yuu grabbed a napkin, cleaning the fork before stabbing the shrimp, taking a bit. They took another, savoring the taste.

“Huh, this is pretty good, Floyd.”

“Fufu, I am pretty great, aren’t I?~”

“When you’re in the mood, that is.”

Floyd bellowed loudly, somehow finding Yuu’s statement to be funny.

Yuu looked quizzically at the eel mer, “Eh? What’s so funny, Leech?”

“Eheh, you’re pretty interesting, aren’t ya?~”

The selkie swam through the familiar shores, searching. It had been months since they last saw their beloved.

Too long, in fact.

However, they clung onto the hope that their beloved Yuu was alive- after all, they were alive when they left.

Even if Yuu hadn’t known.

Engel could still remember the carriage, how they tried to call out to Yuu, how something restricted their throat, unable to call for them. It was utter agony, unable to voice out their words of caution. They had saw Yuu go inside the carriage, and Engel was able to see their frightened expression as they entered. Engel wanted to help, yet the restraints didn’t allow them.

Even so, they sang their song. Their voice may not have the same power nor strength as that of Yuu’s, the ability to entrance mortals and to have their voice carry, but it didn’t matter.

They sang. Even if their words came out as a seal’s barks, honks, and growls. Even if no one understood them, they sang.

They sang for Yuu.

After all, they sang of an eternity together in this damned world, hadn’t they?

----

“Hey, Floyd?” Yuu asked, messing with the blood-filled glass bead of their seashell bracelet. Its warmth brought a sense of calm over.

“Hmm?”

“Do ya think Azul will help me bring someone on over? From my world, that is?”

Floyd titled his head, his eyes rolling upwards in ponderment, letting out a small “hmmmm”.

“Well, I’m sure you would have to ask Azul yourself, Yuu,” a familiar voice rang out.

The two mer turned their heads towards the direction of the voice. Jade simply gave a smile as he came closer, as he too, took a seat next to Yuu.

“I see…” Yuu muttered, lowering their head. They had a small hope, a small hope that they could bring their beloved to this world. They only knew that Engel was alive due to the warmth the bracelet emitted.

It was their only comfort in this foreign world.

“Fufu, do not fret, Yuu. Azul is surely bound to find an answer of some sorts, if you ask.”

“To the point of invention, Jade? After all, it was the carriage that brought me over. Can Azul even recreate such a thing?” Yuu retorted. What are the chances that they could bring over their beloved?

“Who knows,” Jade shrugged, “Speaking of which, the mirror was wrong, were they not?”

“Oh yea,” Floyd agreed, “Shachi-chan does have magic, so why’d the mirror say they’ve got none?” Floyd looked at Yuu expectedly, giving a toothy grin.

“Heck if I know,” Yuu replied, “Maybe ‘cause my magic is limited? I can only really use it for my voice and becoming mer, so-“

“Ehhhhh, you don’t use a potion?” Floyd looked shocked, his eyes wide and mouth agape. His brother shared a similar look of disbelief, although it was much more subtle. After all, they had used potions to retain their human form.

“I don’t? I’m half mer, after all,” Yuu replied. Did magic function differently here? If it did, it would explain as to why their magic went unnoticed. It would be simply that the magic mirror is only able to detect the magic native to this world, and as everyone knows, Yuu is no native.

“What’s the other half?” Jade titled his head to the side, much more curious about Yuu’s origins than before.

“Human.”

“Ehhhhh? I was convinced Shachi-chan was a full mer, fufu, now this is interesting, no?~”

----

The water above Engel became murky, radiating an odd warmth. The water was near freezing, and Engel’s body was becoming overheated. Yet, as much as Engel could, they couldn’t swim to colder waters. Something was pulling them in.

It was like magic.

Pain shot through all their body. It was nearly unbearable, that Engel almost had wished to die instead of dealing with the immense pain. It endured for the next five minutes, and soon, they found their body being forced out of the water, landing on the sand with a loud smack. Their body was sore, Engel letting out a loud painful whine.

They took a moment to adjust to their surroundings, noticing that they were on a beach, vacant and devoid of any life. However, they could faintly pick up a certain scent, one that distracted them from all their pain and inner turmoil.

And that was Yuu’s scent.

It was faint, oh so very faint, but Engel could still pick it up. The scent had sent them to overdrive, their blood pulsing faster than before.

Shifting out of their pelt, they hugged it close to ward off the cold night, as they began to track Yuu’s scent, venturing into the forest that bordered the beach.

Too many times were they nearly caught, too many times were they nearly hunted. No doubt, something knew that Engel was there, but that didn’t deter them. They’ll lose the hunter, sooner or later. It was just a matter of when.

Soon enough, they found themselves near what looked like an academy of some sorts, a gate blocking their way. Yuu’s scent here was strong however, an anxiety started to pool up in their stomach. What if they couldn’t get to Yuu? All those months of searching would go down the drain, and they would have no one to return to.

Letting out a pitiful sigh, they turned to leave, until they heard a voice call out to them.

“Who are you?”

Engel looked towards the direction of the voice, their black eyes locking with amber ones.

Engel didn’t say a word, yet the person came closer. It wasn’t until when they were directly across from them on the other side of the gate did Engel notice their features, as the moon provided little light. The person had white hair and wolf ears, and a somewhat dark complexion., They had a strong build that intimidated Engel, but judging by their relaxed pose, they knew they posed no threat. Despite that, even if they did indeed pose a threat, Engel felt confident enough of their own strength to take them down.

“I’m Engel,” the selkie finally stated, albeit reluctantly, “And you are?” Something about the beastman felt familiar, although Engel couldn’t figure out as to why.

“Jack. Tell me, why do you smell of blood?” Jack asked, his eyes now glaring at the selkie.

There was no visible trail of blood on Engel, but they did have some.

Their bracelet.

Engel raised their hand to show off their bracelet, of which had seashells and small, blood-filled glass beads. Mer often gave one another bracelets, with their scales, to their beloved. Yet, as Engel and Yuu were not the typical mer, they made do.

It was their only connection, and the only way they knew if the other lived. Engel could still feel the warmth of the bracelet, although it was beginning to grow warmer the more they came close to Yuu’s location. No doubt, Yuu was in this academy.

“The blood of my beloved. They have a similar one, although with my blood,” Engel stated, proudly.

Jack didn’t say a word, but he glanced around. “I know a way to get you inside, but you’ll have to trust me, alright?”

“You’ll do that?” Engel gasped, clutching onto their pelt with their free hand.

Jack looked at them again, and shook his head, “I’ll get you some clothes too.”

“Oh, thank you!”

Jack glanced behind Engel, and said, “We should hurry, I don’t think we have much time.”

----

“It’s time for me to leave, so I suppose I’ll be on my way,” Yuu began, as they got up from their seat.

“Leaving so soon, Shachi-chan?~” Floyd grabbed Yuu’s wrist, as the siren looked at them with great disdain. This was often why they avoided Floyd, the eel mer was too much for them to handle.

“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t, Leech?” Yuu turned to look at the other Leech brother, who was only giving them a close-eyed smile. Very helpful.

“It’s not that late, is it, Jade?~”

“It’s literally almost curfew, Sir Strangles-People.”

“Stay the night! You’re mer, you’ll fit right in.~”

“Pray tell, Leech, where would I sleep?”

At this question, Floyd let go of Yuu’s hand as they massaged the area. He seemed to actually be in thought, something of which Yuu rarely saw.

“Hm, would they sleep with us, Jade?” Floyd wondered out loud, his grin becoming bigger, showcasing all of his sharp teeth. Yuu wondered

“I’m leaving,” Yuu quickly said, already striding away from the brothers. The warmth from their bracelet grew, borderline burning them. Yuu furrowed their brows, the pain stinging yet not unbearable. Yuu didn’t stop walking, even when one of the brothers called out to them. As soon as they were out of sight, Yuu broke out in a run.

-----

Engel sighed happily as they fondled with the beads of their bracelet, its warmth growing stronger. It only ever did that after long periods of absence of the other bracelet, as the bracelets were made to function in such a way. Yuu’s mother had personally made the bracelets, carefully telling them what each sign had meant.

Warmth meant the other was alive and well. Absence of warmth meant death.

And burning, after being separated for a long time, meant the other was near.

And boy, was Engel just vibrating with a certain happiness. Months and months of searching, and finally their search bore fruit.

“Hot chocolate?”

Engel snapped out of their daydream, looking at the owner of the voice. It was Jack, whose hand was in front of her, with a mug of hot chocolate within its grasp.

“Ah, many thanks, Jack,” Engel grabbed ahold of the mug, pulling it close to their person. They adorned some ill-fitting clothing, although it was all that Jack could offer. At least, Engel mused, they had something on. Better to wear baggy clothing than to be out and about naked.

“How do you know Yuu?” Jack asked. It was still rather early to the night, for it was not for another two hours did Jack need to go to bed. It was by sheer luck that Jack had encountered Engel on his nightly jog. He could smell something, or someone, hunting the mer. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was obvious to him that the mer was in danger.

It took some explaining to the other dorm members as to why he brought a mer, of all people, inside to Savanaclaw. Even more, it was rather obvious that Engel didn’t attend the college, as everyone, to an extent, possessed a certain aura that only one could find at Night Raven College, after staying for a while.

Although, it didn’t take long for everyone to accept Engel, either. As strength was favoured amongst the beastmen, Engel had plenty. And tenacity, to boot. No doubt, had Engel been a native of this world, they would surely have been sorted into Savanaclaw.

“Hmm,” Engel pondered out loud, “As you said earlier, I’m not from this world and neither is Yuu.”

Jack nodded, not saying a word, intently listening.

“I’ll explain a few things of which are important before I begin. Our world,” a sip from the mug, “is harsh upon its inhabitants. Non-humans are rare and few, our numbers hunted to its current state. People are encouraged to kill or kidnap us, and use us for their dirty deeds.” Engel let out a hoarse laugh, but they continued.

“Thus, we thrive in secret, away from humans. We’re isolated, and we flee at any instance of human interference. Only a few humans are taken within our communities, Yuu’s mother being one of them. Truly, the Kishimoto family have been rather unfortunate.”

Jack raised a brow at the name, never having heard Yuu’s family name before.

“We met at sea, when Yuu was exploring their mer side. They were lucky enough to meet with their father’s side of the family, as orcas are matrilineal. Although whatever attachment they had with them was soon broken, by humans.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked, taking in all the information.

“Humans started to fish in their territory, so they left, and left me in charge of telling Yuu. Thankfully, no one was harmed, however, it was found that Miss Kishimoto was a mer’s wife, that of a siren no less.”

Engel took a sip of their hot chocolate, the beverage slowly, but surely, becoming cold.

“Miss Kishimoto fashioned us these bracelets, and a few other trinkets before she was taken. I believe we were about… I say, 13 summers old by then? Yuu was taken in by my community, so we’ve been close since then. Only about a year ago did we… ah, become one another’s beloveds.”

“I see…”

“Did that answer your question?” Engel watched Jack’s expression, as he processed the new information. It was a lot, after all, Engel basically telling all of Yuu’s life in a very condensed summary.

“I suppose it does.”

-----

Yuu ran out from the mirror, their bracelet practically glowing and humming with life. They stood, searching for Engel. Yuu could smell Engel’s scent in the area, but they didn’t know where they were in.

It wasn’t until they felt their phone buzz in their back pocket did they find out.

Savanaclaw.

As quick as one can be, Yuu hurried and teleported through the mirror once more.

----

“I’ve told Yuu that you’re here, Engel, “Jack stated, as he picked up the mugs of hot chocolate, “I’ll be right back.”

Engel didn’t say a word, still clutching onto their pelt firmly. There was never a moment when they were without their pelt, the only other person ever granted permission to even remotely touch it, was Yuu.

Engel was unsure of how they would tell Yuu of the news from their world, nor was Engel even sure that they could return. Stories of transporting to other worlds always ended the same- no return to their home.

Yet Engel had a feeling that they wouldn’t mind that.

Anything better than that damned world.

----

Yuu ran, ignoring all the curious glances and glares that were thrown their way. They tracked Engel’s scent, and at last…

They saw Engel, pleasantly conversing with Jack, their pelt in their lap, and a content face. Yuu could feel their bracelet cool down, as did Engel. The selkie turned to look at their beloved arrival, tears pricking their eyes, and a smile making its way onto their face.

“It’s been too long, Yuu.”

Yuu ran to them, surprising Jack in the process, and hugged Engel.

“Too long, my love. Too long.”

….as Jack watched, unsure of what to do. He decided it would be best to leave the lovers alone, so he quietly left. Yuu knew the way.

#twisted wonderland #fanfic #twst fanfic #siren yuu #luzarya writes things yuh #siren au #twst x yuu #yuu (twst) x oc #ocs #twst oc

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jungkookiebus · 4 years ago

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The Client pt. 3 | kth

Genre: sexworker!au x smut x angst x fluff (for real this time) Pairing: sexworker!reader x taehyung Word Count: 6k Rating: 18+ Warnings: multiple orgasms (m&f) x taehyung and reader are basically switches x oral sex (m&f) x cum eating x fingering x nipple play x cum swapping? x unprotected sex x creampie Summary: The painful weeks after Taehyung’s accidental confession have the both of you living in agony. Just when the both of you thought you were over the other, you quite literally run into each other in the rain. Taehyung walks away from you into the dark night. Do you have the guts to go after him?

Taehyung’s days drug by endlessly. Each day stretched further than the next when all he wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible and pass out just as fast. When he was asleep at least he didn’t have to think about you, that is, if his brain decided to give him a break. Sometimes he’d dream that he got to replay that night again with you being none the wiser and he never said it. He’d get to see you again. But then he’d wake up to the harsh reality that simply wasn’t true. Then his miserable day would start all over again. He knew better than to request an appointment and he had written and rewritten the same email that now sat in his drafts, collecting hypothetical internet dust. He also made sure not to go to that same café again even if it was close to his office. Any thought of you sent a pain into his chest so sharp he could hardly stand it. You had probably forgotten how foolish he had been and moved on from him, just another client lost to the crowd. And in a way, Taehyung wished for that, but he was very wrong.

Your POV

Two weeks earlier

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes before you could stop them. You blinked fast, hoping they would just go away but the emotion was too strong. Taehyung had just told you he loved you and you could barely breathe as you looked at him, watching as his face turned red in shock.

“Taehyung, please clean up and leave.”

He didn’t even bother using the bathroom this time. He fumbled as quickly as he could with his clothes and exited the room but not before shooting a pained expression in your direction. You tried to direct anger at him because you needed him out of the room as quickly as possible and it seemed to work as he shut the door behind him. You burst into tears as soon as the door clicked shut and you curled up on your side as you shuffled under the blankets.

You had been in this line of work for years. This was your life, your passion and you didn’t see it as some skeezy side job that helped pay the bills, no, this was the job. Your interest in sex and various sexual partners was why you decided to go into this line of work, you had never been made out for relationships and you were beginning to think you were incapable of romantic feelings until you met him. But since this was your job, you quelled those feelings because, just as the job entailed, you had to put on an act. You hadn’t hoped that he noticed the little extra you poured into each session, and maybe he didn’t, but you suddenly felt responsible for this. There was no way you could have a relationship with him, not in this line of work. Jealousy was a bitter bitch and you weren’t about to deal with that.

But what if he didn’t care?

No, shut up. You can never expect someone to be okay with your sex work…

You cried a little harder into the sheets. No feelings. It was in all your contracts because you thought you didn’t have feelings, not in a sociopathic kind of way, but…you gripped harder at the sheets as you screamed into a pillow. Why did this have to happen to you? You needed to get home, but you were too miserable to move. Reaching out of the covers you reached to the bedside for your phone, thankful there were no missed calls or texts, you had to give him that. Going into your calendar you canceled all your next week’s appointments and followed it with a lengthy email feigning sickness and some half-hearted explanation on how to reschedule. You weren’t in the mood to see anyone right now and you planned to use the next week to get a little retrospective.

The week didn’t make anything better. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but he hadn’t tried to contact you at all. He was staying true to your contract’s rule of no feelings, staying out of your way and not requesting an appointment. Maybe he thought you had moved past it and was just hoping you’d forget. That would be the best for both of you. So why did it hurt so badly?

You opened your schedule just for the following Monday and a frequent client took one of your two spots immediately. You almost wished that he had at least tried to schedule but there were none. The regular exhilaration you felt about work was gone as you read the client’s requests. Such bland and boring things. Taehyung’s thighs in the white, silk stockings popped into your head as you dropped it into your hands. You squeezed your eyes and willed your brain to shut up as you groaned inwardly. His sharp breaths were in your ear as he held you close to him, his thigh between your legs. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes again. Why did he have to go and fucking say something? The both of you could have continued living this lie for a little longer. Your fingers dug into the roots of your hair as you willed yourself to stay the fuck away from your phone. Do not go texting or emailing anyone. You felt the softness of his curls dust across your fingertips. Your entire body ached, and you felt feverish. What was this feeling? You hated whatever it was.

Your appointment didn’t go well, which caused you to cancel your second slot and left the rest of your week off the schedule. You weren’t in it. He could tell and so could you. A job you once had passion in now felt cold and it scared you. Maybe when you saw your therapist again, you’d tell her about it, but for now you were going to stay home and away from technology.

Taehyung POV

Three weeks later

The pain had started to hurt a little less as time went by. Enough so that he had agreed to go to a party this coming Friday, finally feeling enough like himself to get out there again. His friend wanted to introduce him to some girl that worked at his firm and figured this was the fresh start he needed.

He looked at himself in the mirror as he held the paper bag wrapped bottle of wine he had procured on his way home from work. He wore a large, soft sweater and dark pants. Soft, he thought to himself. You had always liked when he dressed this way. He shook his head to clear the memory from his mind, wiping it clean with one swipe. Setting his shoulders straight he headed out of the door of his apartment and into the night. The air seemed to be charged with electricity. He squinted up through the city lights to see if he could get any glimpse of the night sky, but he didn’t see anything. One block into his six block walk, lightning flashed and thunder rumbled across the sky. He groaned as he realized his clear lack of umbrella. He quickened his pace, hoping he could make it before it started to pour.

Your POV

The night sky lit up above you as lightning streaked across it.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You pulled your sweatshirt closer, not that it was waterproof, but you guessed it was something. You had two bags slung on one arm as you walked back home from the grocery store but had no idea the weather was supposed to get bad tonight.

“What did I do to deserve this?” you asked, face towards the sky as you felt the first drop hit your cheek.

You still had at least four blocks and by the way the wind picked up, this was going to hit sooner rather than later.

“Just don’t let me get pneumonia.”

You walked a little faster as the raindrops picked up. You heard with dread as behind you, they began to hit the buildings and pavement with more ferocity. Cold wind picked up, whipping around you, and bringing with it, cold ass rain. You shivered as it almost instantly soaked into the back of your pants and you cursed the minute you decided to step out of your apartment. You were stopped by a traffic light on a corner, continued to get soaked as you waited for the light to change. You dodged puddles as you skipped across the street quickly and didn’t realize there was someone else approaching just as quickly on the otherwise empty sidewalk. You didn’t have time to react as you ran square into someone’s chest before stumbling backwards. The stranger reached out for you, and to their credit, grabbed your hand but went down with you anyway. The both of you landed directly into probably the deepest puddle you had ever seen in your life, but at this point you were used to your shitty luck.

“Look, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

Your entire body seized in fear because you knew that voice too well and it haunted your dreams, causing the new bags under your eyes. You wanted to sleep to forget, but you were afraid to fall asleep in fear that you might see his face.

“S’okay,” you mumbled quietly, gathering your bag and trying to stand quickly.

The rain poured harder and at this point you were soaked to your underwear and fucking miserable. Your back was to him as you attempted to flee the scene.

“Hey! Wait! Are you okay?” he called after you.

“Fine!” you called over your shoulder. The rain was pouring so hard he probably couldn’t hear you.

You felt his hand on your shoulder before he spoke. You were right under the streetlamp when you stopped dead in your tracks.

“This fell out of your bag.”

You had to turn around to get it back. Walking away would just be creepy and weird. Your hood was still up, but he’d know. You swiveled on your heel and looked up before you even fully faced him. His dark curls stuck cutely to his forehead; he was just as wet as you. His eyes widened in surprise and you looked down at the obvious bottle of wine in his hand. Looked like he was going on a date. So he had moved on. That’s exactly what you wanted so you weren’t sure why the pain in your stomach was so sharp. The apple sat in his hand so delicately and you suddenly missed those fingers more than you expected yourself to. You reached for it slowly and grasped it tightly before taking it.

“Thank you,” you mustered up. If any tears were to fall it wouldn’t be like he’d see them.

He looked pained and in shock. You were the last person he expected to see.

“Y-you’re welcome,” he stuttered out. He turned quickly and made his way down the sidewalk and back into the wet night.

You watched as he crossed under the next streetlight, tall frame falling into shadow again as he moved farther and farther away from you. You still stood, raindrops hitting the plastic bags and making your clothes feel ten times heavier. Your chest burned and you barely felt the cold as you cried, telling yourself to turn around and go home, but everything in your body screamed run.

You barely heard the cans, fruit, and glass bottles hit the ground as you dropped the bags and sprinted in the direction Taehyung had gone. The rain hit your face harder and it felt like you were running into the heart of the storm. He hadn’t left that long ago, so you should catch up to him soon, right?

“Taehyung!” you yelled as you tripped around an outdoor restaurant sign.

Tears fell freely now as you ran, feeling your shoes rubbing blisters on your heels as you slipped in them. Maybe he had turned down another block.

“Taehyung!” you yelled again as you stood on a street corner, but the sidewalks were barren.

You turned in circles, sobs coming out freely now as you gave in to the heartache. You had fucked up everything and now you were paying for it.

“_______?” you heard behind you.

You turned quickly and Taehyung stood, equally as soaked, and still clutching the wine bottle.

“Taehyung.” You were so surprised you weren’t sure what to say.

“I heard you calling me.” You saw the puffs of smoke drift from his mouth as the temperature dropped. You needed to get this out fast.

“I love you, too. I know it’s stupid. I know I said no feelings. I know I made you sign a contract. I never thought I was capable of loving someone else, but you did that for me. Over the months,” you gestured as you laughed nervously, “I started feeling things I had never experienced and that scared me. It was something I talked to my therapist about and,” you realized you were rambling and took a deep sigh. “I don’t want to let go of the one person who brought me those feelings.”

Taehyung stared at you, face unreadable as he searched yours. You felt that strange dread you always felt as a kid when you did something wrong, it ran from head to toe and made you feel sick. He was angry because you had rejected him and now, here you were, telling him you loved him. You knew it wasn’t fair, and you wouldn’t be mad at him if he didn’t reciprocate those feelings now.

The wine bottle hit the pavement with a dull crack as he moved forward. He had you gathered in his arms and lips on yours just as the sky opened a little wider, lightning lit up the buildings in an eerie blue glow. Thunder cracked overhead and tumbled across the sky like falling rocks down a mountainside. But Taehyung’s lips were warm on yours and you felt relief wash through you. Though, you felt as if you didn’t deserve it, he had accepted you.

“I don’t want to keep you from your date.” Your words came out shaky as you shivered, cold hands against his wet sweater.

He looked a little stunned at your comment.

“It wasn’t really…a date.”

Your heart plummeted again, despite getting what you wanted.

“Besides, fuck that date.”

He grabbed your hand and headed in the direction of his home, which was coincidentally not too far from yours, but he was in an upscale high rise closer to downtown. The both of you dripped across the marble of the lobby as he directed you to the elevator. You both stood, shoulder to shoulder, shivering, and exchanging awkward glances as you made it to his floor. Once he had you in his apartment, he turned the heater on low, as he guided you through his tastefully decorated apartment. Expensive looking art donned the walls of the hallway he led you down and each had their special lighting. The bathroom he led you too was fit for hotel suite as he stepped into the walk in shower and started the water. He stepped back out and up to you, hands tentative on the bottom of your soaked through sweatshirt. He pulled the dripping fabric over your head and you shivered as the cold air hit your skin. You crossed your arms over your chest to stay warm as he peeled your sweats off your legs.

“Get in the shower,” he said softly.

You slowly walked inside, easing under the stream of warm water, and reveled in the feeling of your limbs finally defrosting. He followed behind you, stepping under the rainfall shower with you, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him close.

“I’m sorry for kicking you out.”

“I breached my contract.”

His hand was reassuring on the back of your head as your cheek pressed against his chest. He was right and you had every right to do what you did, but you wouldn’t have felt bad about anyone else.

“Yea, that wasn’t very fair to throw that at me.”

He held his breath a little, expecting you to tell him the truth, but still not ready when you said it.

“I know. My mouth moved before my brain could catch up and I’m sorry for putting you in that position.”

He sounded so sincere in his apology and he hadn’t tried to contact you at all this entire time.

“What now?”

Taehyung’s POV

What were you supposed to do now? He hadn’t really expected to be here in this position. Across the bathroom, his phone vibrated on the counter. Probably his friend wondering where he was as he stood up his somewhat blind date. But he was exactly where he wanted to be three weeks ago, standing here with you in his arms. He wanted to ask if you were real. You shivered slightly as you continued to warm up and he held you closer to him. He missed the feeling of your skin against his. You were here with him and it wasn’t an appointment and he wasn’t under any contract.

Instead of answering your question, he released his hand to tilt your chin upwards so that he could kiss you properly. You sighed softly against his lips and he felt the familiar flutter in his chest that he only associated to being in your presence. His lips were against yours in a gentle kiss, touching just for a moment when he whispered.

“Use me.”

You looked startled by his statement and somewhat confused.

“W-what do you mean?”

His thumb was against your chin, rubbing lightly along your skin as he continued to stare into your eyes. He wanted you to know that everything he said from this point forward was from his heart.

“Use me like everyone uses you. I know it’s your job, but when was the last time you did something you wanted? Use me in any way you want, anywhere you want. You name it, and I’ll do it.”

You were biting your lip as he spoke. He knew you were doing it in thought, but the action had him wanting to bite down on the pink flesh himself, but he waited. You searched his face as he watched the gears in your head turn. It seemed as if this were the first time you were being asked this question. He slid his hand along the small of your back, drawing you closer.

“I’ll give you anything you want,” he said as he dipped lower to your face again. You blushed deeply as he brought his face closer. “Are you shy now?”

“No,” you whispered.

“You know,” he started, “the last session; the one I—anyway, you were behind me one day in a coffee shop by my office, but you were on the phone so you didn’t notice me.” Your eyes widened in surprise. “You looked so casual, so relaxed, so you. I wanted that version of you, so that’s who I created for that session; that was the only way I could really be close to you.”

A knowing sigh passed your lips and cooled the water on his face. “I had begun to wonder…I suspected you had feelings some time ago.”

He felt ashamed for letting too much through and putting you in a difficult position. In a sick way, it worked out for him, but he was hoping that with time you’d let him make it up to you.

“What would you like me to do?” He let his voice drop, sounding gentle, but tried to entice something from you.

Your POV

Your body shook at the timbre of his voice and you wanted to basically climb him right here in the shower. What fantasy of yours did you want? There were so many. A few didn’t fit into this situation, some were questionable, maybe a few were embarrassing, but you knew he would do literally anything you asked of him.

“Do you still have the stockings?”

You felt him grow a little bit harder against you, cock twitching on your stomach as the hand on your back tightened.

“Yes,” he breathed.

“The shirt?”

“It’s at the dry cleaner, but I definitely have a substitute.”

Reaching behind you, you turned off the shower.

“Put them on.”

Taehyung complied immediately, stepping from the shower to grab you a towel before grabbing one for himself. He dried himself quickly as he slipped into the connecting closet. You towel dried your hair so that the cold water wouldn’t drip down your back as you waited. A few minutes passed before he stepped back out of the closet. Instinctively, you started at his feet, admiring the silk wrapped around his calves and then his thighs. His cock was fully erect now, a subtle pink glow to his skin. The shirt he had on looked expensive and tailor made. He left it unbuttoned, but it fit perfectly across his broad shoulders, sleeves ending at his wrists. You walked forward and rubbed the fabric between your fingers. It was the softest cloth you had ever felt, and it flowed like air across his skin. The white of the shirt only accentuated the honey color of his skin as you ran your fingers over his stomach.

“Will this be okay?” He sounded like a child waiting for appraisal from its elder.

“This is perfect, Taehyung,” you said while still running your hands over his body. They now rested on the outside of his thighs. You really did like the way he looked in these.

Slowly, you eased yourself to your knees in front of him. He looked surprised as his eyebrows disappeared beneath his hair. Something primal inside of you stirred as he stood towering over you, wrapped in soft fabric, with his hard cock right in front of your face. To say you missed him would be an understatement. You wrapped your hand around him gingerly, knowing just how sensitive he was. His hips barely moved as your soft hand closed around the base. You ran your other hand up his stockinged thigh, feeling his muscles flex beneath your palm. He groaned as you reached around to grasp a handful of his ass in your hand. Pushing him forward, you guided his cock between your lips and sunk as far as you could, your nose kissing your finger. His hands flexed at his sides as he further became submissive in your hands. He was falling and was more than willing to receive whatever was at the bottom. You held him there in your mouth for a few seconds, letting him feel the warmth of you wrapped around him, tongue moving along the sensitive skin on the bottom of his cock. You watched him as his head tilted down to look at you. His hair hung in half dried curls, framing his perfect face and suddenly you thought you had never seen anyone more beautiful than him. You slipped back slowly, leaving your hand at the base, until just the tip was nestled between your lips like a lollipop. Sucking lightly, you came off with a pop, never breaking eye contact. His body flushed with goosebumps as your eyes continued to dare him to look away. Precum still leaked from his cherry red tip. It glistened in the bright lights of the bathroom, beckoning like a sweet dessert. You wanted more of him, to devour him whole and make him yours forever. Taking him in your mouth, you sank down quicker this time, pulling back and setting a rhythm. His muscles twitched beneath your hand as you kept it on his ass, almost pushing him in time with your mouth. His moans pitched, echoing off the marble walls, a symphony with the most beautiful note. He was biting harshly into his bottom lip as he kept his eyes locked on yours. He wanted so badly to screw his eyes shut but didn’t dare look away. You saw his eyes well with tears, a few escaping down his nose until it dripped perfectly underneath your own eye. Your name tumbled from his lips in quick gasps now.

“_ ____, I’m g-gonna come, oh my god.” He didn’t seem to be getting enough air as he forced his orgasm to wait. His skin was hot beneath your hand and his cock was so hard in your mouth you were sure he was using a great amount of self-control.

Not wanting him to lose it, you pulled off quickly saying, “Come.” Before you sank back down on him, removing your hand and pushing him far back into your throat. His groan was guttural as he almost doubled over, fingers soft on your shoulders in case he lost his balance, as he came in hot spurts down your throat. He was against your gag reflex, but you focused on breathing through your nose and concentrated on your breath. Both hands were tight on his thighs now just so you could feel the way they moved beneath your hands. His hips stuttered forward into your mouth in a few shallow thrusts until you felt the last drops. No longer able to breathe this way, you pulled off his cock and quickly swallowed so that you could exhale.

“Fuck,” you whispered through a raw gasp.

Taehyung’s hands were on his knees as he stumbled backwards, ass meeting the cold counter, and he slumped back. He looked like a perfect statue carved from the most precious stone. His dark hair stuck to his cheeks in sweat or water, you weren’t sure which. The white silk shirt was soaked through and plastered to his skin and it accentuated the soft muscle of his chest. It opened perfectly to expose his stomach and frame his bottom half. His cock was still hard, and the stockings had stayed in place. You licked your lips and rubbed your thighs together as you drank him in. He cocked an eyebrow when he looked at you, finger coming up in a ‘come here’ motion. You stood, sauntering over and his eyes raked over your body hungrily. Slotting yourself between his legs, you ran your finger under his chin, and then your thumb over his bottom lip. He was looking into your eyes, waiting for your next command.

“You have to make me come no less than three times.” You let your eyes flutter innocently to his lips and then back up to his eyes. “By any means possible.”

Taehyung inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you closer again. With a sigh he kissed you and you fell into it, body, and soul. One of his hands went between your legs as he continued to devour you. You moaned, fingers digging into the stockings as he rubbed his fingers along your slit, gathering every bit of you that spilled on his fingers before circling your clit. You gasped in his mouth as he pinched your nipple between his fingers and twisted lightly. You moved your hips over his fingers, and he stilled, letting you do the work. He pinched a little harder on your nipple as he bit down on your bottom lip. You moved faster now, circling, and grinding your hips on his fingers. God, how you missed these fingers. You were all but crying into his mouth when your muscles began to tense. Your calves ached as your toes curled painfully, but the pain wasn’t going to make you stop the rhythm that was soon going to send you over the edge. As your whines pitched and your entire body began to shiver, Taehyung twisted your nipple harshly and pressed harder against your clit. You ground against him, breathing heavily through your nose as Taehyung seemed to be intent in gathering every moan you had. You couldn’t help the clench in your jaw when you came, making your lips immobile against his. You keened and your breath seized in your chest. His lips were at the corner of your mouth as you wet his fingers even more, hips slowing to a halt as you finally let out an exhale.

“One,” he whispered as he placed a kiss to your cheek.

Your body was already beginning to feel the sleepy side effects of your orgasm, but you knew you could take it. He pushed you back lightly as he stood in front of you, placed his hands on your shoulders and switched positions, picked you up and sat you on the edge of the counter.

“Now it’s my turn,” he smiled as he dropped to his knees. He spread your legs as wide as he could, warm hands on the insides of your thighs, so that he could get a better look. Your skin shone with your cum and Taehyung didn’t want to waste another second without tasting you. He leaned forward and licked a long, slow stripe up your center. His tongue dipped inside of you quickly and curled. He drew it back out and swallowed.

“How does it taste?” you asked as you buried your fingers into his hair and pushed him a little harder against you when his lips were back on you.

“Mmpf,” he moaned into you as he fucked you with his tongue. His nose pressed against your clit as you wound your fingers into the hair at his nape. He shook his head quickly against you and with your other hand planted on the counter behind you, you began to move your hips against his face. Taehyung wrapped his arms around your thighs so that he could pull you as close as possible. His eyes opened to meet yours and his pupils were so blown that you could no longer see the chocolate color there. He looked beautiful between your legs on his knees, almost as if he were born for this. His mouth told you this truth. He knew your body more intimately that any other client you had ever had. He knew the perfect ways to edge you, and at the end, have you coming so hard that your vision darkened. He moaned now, sending vibrations straight into your clit. Your entire body was so hot, and it was soon hard to keep your sweaty palm from slipping against the counter. Holding his head, you ground as hard as you could and with the combination of his tongue and the deep rumbles escaping his throat, you came again. He kept his mouth on you, tongue hot inside as you clenched. He drank you in as if you were his last meal. Gently, he nuzzled his nose against your swollen clit, licking up all that he could of you. When he sat back, you saw your creamy cum on his lips and chin. You grasped his chin, forcing him to rise on his knees as you came down, licking the cum from his lips slowly. It was bittersweet against your tongue and Taehyung moaned. Your tongue was past his lips and the taste of you was even stronger on his.

“Are you tired yet?” he asked smugly when you pulled away.

“You wish.”

His smile was devastating as he stood. What you wouldn’t give to see that smile every day of your life. Were you willing to sacrifice for him? Mid-lust ____ probably shouldn’t think about this right now. He placed his hands on the counter on either side of you as he leaned, looking at your face.

“Can I make love to you?” he asked.

Your body flushed and shivered involuntarily, and you felt new arousal bloom in your stomach. Something about the way he said it had you wanting to simultaneously coo over him and fuck his brains out.

“Yes.”

What more was there to say? He rubbed his cock along your slit and your gaze cast downwards to watch. The stockings still looked perfect and the shirt was still giving him every favor. He pushed in slow, feeling your swollen walls take him in fully. When he bottomed out, you gasped and clung to his shoulders as his hips began to move. His breath shuddered against your skin as he buried his face into your neck. His fingers dug into your hips as he quickened his pace. You weren’t sure what you did to get blessed with someone whose cock curved perfectly into your g-spot, but in this moment, you weren’t complaining. Your clit was already so sensitive that any move against it had your stomach clenching and your eyes rolling. It really wouldn’t take much for him to make you come a third time and you were really hoping he wasn’t taking this as a challenge. You wove your hands under his arms and dug your fingers into his shoulder blades as you pushed yourself more into him. Taehyung breathed heavily against you.

“Are you going to come, princess?” He picked his head up and was now placing hot kisses to the underside of your jaw. Your body felt as if it were about to melt through the counter and you clung desperately to him. You couldn’t even talk, your chest burned, and he was hitting your g-spot so rapidly that you could barely form a simple word. But for him, you would do this.

“T-tae,” you stuttered.

He didn’t stop as his lips that were against your cheek, parted. “Yes?”

“I love you,” you whispered as you gave into the feeling of him. Your third orgasm hit and this one melted into your body, soothing and erasing all the bad things that had happened in the past few weeks.

You weren’t sure if what you heard from him was a choked sob or just the sheer force of his orgasm, but seconds later he spilled inside of you, hips still moving. He shivered in your arms again. You let him thrust through his orgasm even though you felt as if you were on fire. You’d do anything for him. When he looked at you again, you realized that he had begun to cry. Tears welled in his soft eyes as he cupped your cheeks. He sniffed and his eyes moved rapidly as he looked at every part of your face. Your hands were on his wrists, gently applying pressure.

“Tae, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head as he sniffed louder and laughed. The tears spilled freely now and the juxtaposition to his smile was almost haunting.

“Nothing’s wrong.” His tears slowed and his dewy cheeks began to dry. His hands were still pressing softly into your skin as he seemed lost for words. “I just still can’t believe you’re here.”

The full weight of his feelings for you and all the emotions you flowed through the last few weeks, came rushing down on you like a tidal wave.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry, too!” he cried as he quickly wiped at the tears escaping the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry. We’re meant to be happy right now, I’m sorry.”

“No,” you said as you gently shushed him. “I am happy. That’s why I’m crying.”

“So,” he whispered softly, face open and innocent, “do you think we can make this work?”

Could you? Who knew? There was much to talk about, and you weren’t even sure where you would start. You definitely needed to talk to your therapist about this but, right now, you knew you didn’t want to let this feeling go. You had gone years thinking you weren’t capable of love or being loved. Who knew it would take a client of yours to pull out those feelings you were sure your brain had dumped at birth? How far were you willing to go?

All you knew was that you were ready to traverse even the most difficult path if it meant Taehyung would be waiting for you at the end.

“Yea,” you whispered back as you squeezed his wrists a little more, “I think we can make it work.”

#ksmutclub #smutcentralnet #btswriterscollective #ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #bts smut #taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #reader insert #sexworker!au #nonidol!taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung #the client #part 3

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starrybethany · 4 years ago

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Maybe Someday - Matthew Tkachuk Imagine

Part 2

Word count: 4.5K

He’s kissing on my neck but it’s like I can’t feel it. I fake a moan, I close my eyes. He doesn’t realize that I close my eyes to imagine that he’s someone else. Like I always do.

His lips were always on mine. And when they weren’t, he was talking- talking about how his team is playing Brady’s next week or how Taryn is preparing for college or how his dad chirped him on the phone last night.

“Y/N, you’re hurting me,” he murmurs. My eyes snap open. This isn’t Matthew, it’s Curtis. Curtis from the bar- good Curtis, who scared off the douchebag who was hitting on me and carried a respectful conversation with me. That’s when I decided to go home and sleep with him. I release my grip on his hair and my knuckles turn from white to red.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“No, it’s okay,” he reassures, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. “Do you want to keep going?”

“Not really.”

Curtis looks surprised to see me, and I’m just as surprised as him, but I hide my shock better.

“Do you two know each other?” My manager asks, eyes sliding between me and the boy across from me.

“No,” I quickly say, eyes connecting to Curtis’ bowtie. Matthew would never wear a bowtie- he always said that ties were more professional, people took you more seriously. A fun suit, though. He liked to switch it up once and a while.

My boss doesn’t believe me but brushes it off, leaving me with Curtis to train him.

“Do you, uh, do you want to talk about the other night?” He coughs awkwardly.

“No.”

He stands dumbly beside me, watching as I organize the money drawer, quickly counting the bills and coins and making sure everything is there.

“Oh, um. Do you just want to put everything behind us then? Start new?” He questions.

“I don’t believe in starting new,” I admit strongly, tensing then relaxing when the next words leave my lips. “Even if I was the one to give off a shitty impression. I do, though, believe in growth and moving on. And if you’re willing to move on, I’m willing to move on.”

He nods quickly, eyes glimmering. Clearly, there’s still some interest there despite the fact that I made him feel like an awful partner in the bedroom. “I’m willing to move on.”

I wonder what Matthew would think if he knew I was doing this right now. Curtis leaves gentle kisses on my jaw and I try my best to focus on that, but I can’t help to think of Matthew’s face when he realized what I was doing.

Those pained green eyes haunt me in my sleep. I wake up every night in a sweat, wishing I would’ve focused all of my love and attention on him like he did for me.

I see the whitened fists from him clenching his hands so tight when I brush my teeth, and I remember his curly hair swaying as he shook his head while I pleaded for him to stay as I wash my dinner plate.

I’m sorry. Please stay, Matthew, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.

But how do you explain that you’re afraid to commit to the one person who would give up the entire world for you?

“Hey, uh, I think I’m bleeding.” My eyes snap to Curtis’ but he’s looking down at his arm, where my fingernails are digging deep into his skin.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” I mumble, nudging his body off of me and standing up.

I clean the marks for him.

“I’m outside,” I tell Curtis, staring up at his brick apartment.

It’s been two months since we started dating. I guess you could call it dating. I mean, we kiss and make out and talk and cuddle, but it doesn’t go much beyond that. Every time it starts to I think about Matthew.

Matthew’s breath on my lips, his fingers gliding over my soft skin, the words of worship leaving his mouth. Really, just anything about Matthew. I always feel like I’m thinking about him, and I know that I should get over it by now, since it’s been three months since he ended things with me, but I can’t.

Something’s holding me back. The feeling of losing the best thing that ever happened to me and forgetting that it ever happened is holding me back.

“I can’t stay long,” I remind him for the millionth time. Curtis pleaded with me to hang out tonight and I reluctantly gave in, wanting to get home in time to watch the entirety of the Flames vs. Blue Jackets game by myself.

My feet carry me up the brick stairs to my partner’s apartment and he’s waiting at the door for me, a bright smile on his face. He’s always smiling when he sees me.

Matthew would always give me a mischievous look that let me know he was up to no good. Then I would find a toy spider in my underwear drawer or my shoelaces would be pulled out of my running shoes.

“Oh, hello,” I greet the group of five people as Curtis welcomes me into his apartment. I was unaware that this would be a group event- Matthew would always ask me before inviting people over, even though we mainly hung over at his apartment.

My eyes move between the three guys and two ladies, my heart dropping as I recognize one of the girls. My heart beats faster and I pray to God that she doesn’t say anything.

“Hey, I know you, you were dating my neighbor, right?” She asks.

I nod wordlessly, afraid of what would happen if I were to open my mouth. I’m not sure if I would vomit or if I would vomit words.

“What happened? You two were so cute together.”

How do I tell this woman that I ruined it all? That I completely fucked up and Matthew will never forgive me, and you know what, no one can blame him.

“Just didn’t work out.”

They drop it but my brain doesn’t. My brain never forgets Matthew. I want to leave as soon as my plate was empty, but one of the guys turns on the Flames game and my mouth gets dry when I see that mouthguard hanging out of the side of his mouth.

I always used to tease him about that and he would just smile, telling me it’s a habit that he doesn’t want to fix.

Ruining my relationship with him is something I wish I could fix.

“I have to go.” My voice cracks and I hate it. Curtis looks concerned and his friends share glances, but I ignore it, hurrying to put my shoes and coat on and get out before I’m sobbing into the fabric of Curtis’ couch.

“Is something wrong?” He questions, resting a hand on my lower back.

I almost shudder at the contact.

“See you Monday.” His front door slams shut behind me and I hurry down the stairs to my car, tears streaming down my berry-colored cheeks as soon as I close the door.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Matthew deserves better than anything I could ever give him. That thought alone makes my chest heave and my vision starts to blacken as my breathing gets shallower. The realization of the situation hits me.

But I did this to myself. So I have to pay the consequences.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

I guess I never learn my lesson, right? I guess waking up tomorrow in this stranger’s bed with guilt filling me from head to toe isn’t enough torture, right? I need to live with that guilt and agony every time I see Curtis or hear Matthew’s name.

The liquor running through my veins thinks it’s a good idea.

It welcomes me to accept the fear that I’m holding. The fear of being connected to one person for the rest of my life, the fear that the person I decide to stay with may not actually be the one for me.

And is it bad that I feel worse for cheating on Matthew than I do for cheating on Curtis? I see a future with Matthew, not with Curtis.

My arms tangle around this stranger’s neck, allowing him to kiss softly down my throat. Matthew was always good at this. It somehow turned me on yet made me feel loved at the same time.

“My place or yours?” He breathes into my skin.

“Yours,” my eyes remain closed. I don’t want my home to be tinted from the memories of Matt.

He told me that his parents were coming to Calgary. They were coming to watch a game and spend the weekend with him and he wanted me to join them. He joked that I couldn’t say no because he already told them about me, but the look in his eye told me that he would respect it if I did say no.

I said yes. And I had the best weekend with Matt, Keith, and Chantal going to the Calgary Tower and the zoo and acting like a tourist in the city I’ve grown up in. We watched Matt’s game together and cheered at the win and during breaks in the play, Keith would give us updates on the Senators game against the Islanders.

Chantal told me about how much Brady likes playing for the Senators and how Taryn really wanted to come with, how she really wanted to meet me after how much Matt has talked about me, but she couldn’t leave school.

And I was on a high the whole week after their visit. I was so pleased that our relationship was going so well.

I could spend all of the time in the world with Matt without getting sick of him and I met his parents and hell, it seemed like everything was going in the right direction.

Then I went out to the bar with my friends. I gushed about my perfect hockey-player-boyfriend and our incredible relationship and they approached the situation with hesitance.

“Have you checked his phone lately? What do you mean he has a passcode, what is he trying to hide?”

“How do you know he doesn’t have girls in other cities when he leaves? He could easily hide it and you know his teammates would defend him.”

“He’d probably hold his salary over your head at the end of the day, Y/N. He’d use it as a way to control you.”

“Aren’t you afraid of getting too serious with him right now? You’re so young.”

With shot after shot, glass of wine after a margarita, their words sunk under my skin. It cemented the doubts I already had, yet had forgotten about for the past week. Matt was in Anaheim at the time, they had a game the next morning, and I convinced myself that he was screwing another girl all throughout the night.

So I decided to do the same.

My fingernails dig into the side of the Styrofoam cup, causing a dent. I know what I need to do but that doesn’t make this any easier.

“Curtis, we need to end this. End this, thing, whatever we have,” I stutter through, running a hand through my hair. I hadn’t planned what I wanted to say in my head at all. I just know I needed to say it, needed to do something to become better.

To heal, to process.

He looks up from his phone, a shocked expression on his face. “What? Why?”

“It’s just, we need to, Curtis,” I insist. The chair scrapes against the dirty café tiles as I rise, rushing out the front door.

“Wait, talk to me, Y/N,” he pleads, catching up to me on the way to my car. He shuts the door as I begin to open it. “Just tell me, please. I can handle it.”

I turn around, tears already welling in my eyes. I shouldn’t be crying, I’m the one who did this to him. I’m the one who hurt him. “I cheated on you.”

I watch his Adam’s apple as he swallows. “Why?”

“I have so much pain inside-“”No,” he stops me sternly, “Why wasn’t I enough?”

“Because you’re not him!” I yell, exasperated. No one will ever be Matthew. And Matthew won’t even be the Matthew I had when he was mine. I broke his trust; I broke his belief in love and that’s the worst thing that you can do to someone.

“You’re not him,” I repeat in a raspy voice, letting the tears flow down my cheeks at the realization. I fuck everyone over. And I’m trying to do better, hell I’m telling Curtis instead of letting him find out like Matt did, but Curtis had to chase me to get me to do that.

For some reason, Curtis pulls me into his chest, taking the cup from my shaky hands and resting it on the hood of my car. My chest rises and falls with the loud thumping of my heart as I wind my arms around him, gripping him as tight as I can. I know it probably hurts.

But I have a feeling it can’t hurt more than the aching feeling in my chest, the longing for the love that I once had.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

I knew that he was suspicious. He was suspecting something. I could feel his eyes on me longer than he usually stared, his eyes would gaze at my phone whenever it would light up, he would ask me more and more questions every time I went out with my friends.

I told myself even before taking the first guy to bed that I would have two rules during my affairs. The first rule would be that we could never go back to my place.

Matt and I never moved in together. We planned on revisiting the topic after a year together. We would probably have moved in together in my apartment since he always said that it was more comfortable and he felt more at home than his apartment, but we never got to the one year. We were two months away.

The second rule would be that my new partner for the night had to use protection. I didn’t want to risk any STIs and even though I’m on birth control, any babies. I’m a horrible enough person, me raising a baby wouldn’t be fair for anyone.

Matt had gone to one of his teammate’s friends for a movie night. I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening. All I could think was ‘how pretty is this girl that he’s cheating on me with?’ I had called my friends and we got ready together in my apartment. I listened as they talked about their plans to get all of us laid tonight, and that includes you, Y/N. If your boyfriend is having fun, you can too.

Matt had found me in a gender-neutral bathroom that night, panties down to my ankles and dress pulled up to my belly button. The guy was buried inside of me. All of the desire and lust I had vanished when I saw his face.

Oh gosh. His face.

I dream about his face every night, the smiles, the funny faces, the laughs. But this face is in all of my nightmares.

Pain came first. Pain came in the form of tight lips and closed eyes. Hurt followed. His eyes widened and his lips went down. The bathroom door closed behind him.

I remember hurrying to push the guy away from me, bile and the alcohol I had drank rising in my throat as I pulled up my panties and yanked down my dress.

I caught him in the parking lot.

“He said so much to me, yet it’s etched into every corner of my brain. Y/N, I gave you everything I had. I gave you my heart, body, and soul. I was willing to put everything on the line for you. I saw a future with you and somehow, even though my heart is breaking into two, I still do. You met my friends- fuck- you met my family and none of that means anything to you, does it? I tried to disagree, but he wouldn’t hear me. I don’t blame him.” I pause the story to wipe a tear from my eye, ignoring the concerned looks from people wondering why I’m crying in this café. “He told me that I broke his heart and that he’ll never be able to love again. And that, clearly, we were over.”

Curtis watches as I stare at the table in shame. I don’t know what else to say. I haven’t tried to contact him at all. It seems disrespectful to him and his healing process.

“It’s been four months,” I grab a napkin to blow my nose, enjoying the burn of the harsh fabric on my skin. “And my friends tell me I shouldn’t still be heartbroken, he was probably cheating on me too, but I don’t know. I’m still in love with that man.”

“You remember his neighbor? The one that I’m friends with?” He speaks, pushing my story to the side. I nod, briefly remembering the girl from when I went to his apartment. “She says he’s much different now that you’ve ended things. He doesn’t leave his apartment except for work, he avoids eye contact with everyone in the hallways, and apparently he looks like he’s in rough shape.”

I bite my lip, processing his words. That’s not the Matt that I remember. Matt loved talking sports with the elderly man next door, he paid attention to his physique to remain in shape for the season, and if he wasn’t watching a movie at home, he was spending time with one of his friends.

Guilt bubbles in my chest. I fucked him up. And it did heavy damage. I bury my head in my hands, wanting to reverse the past seven months to take back what I did to him.

“How do I fix this?”

“You can’t,” Curtis responds quietly, watching as I take the information in. “But you can make it better.”

“How?”

“Talk to him. That’s what he needs.”

Hi Matthew,

I don’t even know how to start this. I’m sorry for writing this, I’m sorry for having to write this in the first place. And I’m sorry that I’m too much of a little bitch to tell you this myself. And I’m sorry if this brings up old shit that you’re trying to heal from or you’re already over everything and your new girlfriend is reading this over your shoulder going, “Oh, is this the slut you were telling me about?”

And I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m really, really sorry. No words can express how apologetic I am and how much I regret putting you through the pain that I put you through. You treated me like I walked on water. You bought me souvenirs from the cities that you played in and spent days off buried in bed with me, laughing over stupid TikToks.

I destroyed that for us. For you. And I am so sorry.

Love,

Y/N

I realize that I put love while folding the laundry two days after putting the letter in the mailbox. I freeze with the movement, blood running cold.

I mean, it’s true. I still do love him. But he doesn’t care, he hates me. That ‘love’ probably felt like a punch in the gut. I bet he feels like I never loved him because of what I did to him. How can you say you love someone and then turn around and completely betray them?

That night I dream of two kids, a mini him and a mini me, running around a kitchen. He’s standing beside me, an arm wrapped around my waist and a smile just as big as the one he had the day we first met.

Matthew texts me a couple days later. The few days that I waited I switched between nervously anticipating his response and never expecting it to come. He texts me at night, asking me to meet him for coffee the next morning.

I can’t sleep that night. A million and one thoughts run through my head. When did he unblock my number? It’s not like I tried to contact him after the breakup, but I almost did on multiple nights after one too many drinks.

How will he react when seeing me? Will it be like when he saw me for the first time, or will he immediately visualize some other dude inside of me? I can’t help but think of how he’ll look. I always liked his hair more grown out, so that’s how he left it a lot.

I wonder if he cut it, the length reminding him too much of me.

I get there twenty minutes early. I want him to know that this is important to me. That he’s important to me, as shitty as I may show it. I twirl the coffee cup in my hands, taking off the protective holder to let the hotness burn the palm of my hands.

I know it as soon as he enters. My eyes lift from the lid of my cup to meet his. He hasn’t changed a bit; he looks just the way that I remember. His scruff is longer than I ever remember it getting, but it looks nice.

It suits him.

He slides into the seat across from me, leaning back in the wire chair and crossing his arms over his chest. He stares at me with a blank expression, daring me to say the first word. I know he won’t- he shouldn’t have to, I’m the one who messed everything up.

“Um, did you want to get something? They have really good steamers here,” I begin, weakly motioning towards the order station.

He shakes his head silently, staring me down.

“Thank you for, uh, coming, and um, hearing me out,” I stutter through, practically shaking under his intense gaze.

“Why’d you do it?”

I knew the question would come. And he deserves to know the answer, too. It’s just- the reasons are stupid, beyond pathetic reasons. And if I tell him, he can never unhear it. And knowing Matt, I don’t know if he’ll feel comfortable living with this thought for the rest of his life. I take a deep breath. “Well, um, I guess it was to get back at you, really. My friends convinced me that you were cheating on me.”

He raises his eyebrows. “And you believed them? And cheated on me instead of talking to me about it?”

“It’s stupid, I know.” I bite my lip, brushing a stray hair out of my face. His eyes follow the action.

“How many times?”

I wince at the question. If he didn’t like the answer to the last question, he definitely won’t like the answer to this one. And even though I was the one who was doing it, I don’t like the answers either. “Three.”

“Three times?” I can feel the bite in his voice, and I sink down in my seat, ashamed and humiliated because of my actions. I can’t even make eye contact with him, but I can feel him practically burying me into the ground with his eyes. “With the same person or different people?”

“Different people,” my voice is barely over a whisper.

“I don’t know what would be better,” he retorts. I watch his arms drop to his sides in disbelief at the answer. “The fact that you would sleep with other men and then with me-“”I made them use condoms,” I quickly interrupt, cringing as soon as I do it.

I probably shouldn’t be interrupting him right now or trying to defend myself. I need to take this time to take responsibility for my actions and beg for forgiveness.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long were you cheating on me?” He demands.

“A month and a half,” I answer shyly.

“You cheated on me three times over a month and a half?” He confirms.

I nod, swallowing the bile rising in my throat. When he turns his head to the side, I can see the tears glistening his eyes over.

I’ve never seen Matthew cry. He never wanted to cry in front of me- I could cry in front of him at anything but he would never cry in front of me. When I asked him about it one time, he told me that it’s because he needs to be strong and be able to protect me.

I was supposed to do that too. Not by not crying, but by faithful and giving him all of my love. Instead, I’m bringing him to the point of tears by telling him all about my infidelity.

“Matthew, I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m sorry,” I breathe out.

“You could say that a hundred times and I still wouldn’t care,” he shakes his head.

Hurt flashes through my body at his words, but my brain forces me to understand. He doesn’t need to care about me anymore, I hurt him as bad as you can hurt a person. I should just be grateful enough that he’s still with me right now.

“Thank you for being the best boyfriend I could ever have. You did so much for me and I, I never appreciated it as much as I should have,” I speak slowly, knowing that we have a limited amount of time left. It’s clear by the way that he can’t even look at me right now that we aren’t meant to be with one another right now.

He wipes at the tears, blinking his eyes to get them to disappear. “You shouldn’t be the one to get the final word, I should.”

“Okay,” I nod. “Go ahead.”

“You really messed me up. You fucked me up for my next relationship,” he gives a watery chuckle, “But you also taught me a lot and we had a good ten months and four days together. Fuck what you did to me. That was awful. But the worst part is that I know you, and I know that you’ll grow from this experience and you’ll be even better for the next guy. I love you. Or, um, I loved you.”

It’s my turn to wipe the tears from my cheeks, biting my cheek to hold back the sob that wants to be released.

“Maybe someday, Matthew,” I give him a weak smile.

He knows what I mean. Even though he doesn’t smile back, I can he returns the emotion by the glimmer in his eye and the “Someday, Y/N” when he thinks I’m far enough away.

#NHL imagines #Matthew tkachuk imagine #Calgary flames imagine #hockey imagines #Matthew tkachuk x reader #bmsomeday

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