#I WILL KEEP QUIET NO LONGER
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Shockwave somewhere off in the corner with starscream watching this personality swap unfold that he caused somehow
HOLD ON. YOU’RE RIGJT. SHOCKWAVE DEFINITELY CAUSED ALL OF THIS
you inspired me to make this comic why is this becoming an actual au why does this stupid blucking au have lore I’m going to cry
#transformers#shockwave#soundwave#starscream#megatron#maccadam#fanart#comic#how did soundwave and starscream end up switching you ask??#uh#I have no idea#probably for five dollars#shockwave is another one of those characters whose personality varies depending on the continuity#my personal favourite is when he’s this goofy aah comically evil scientist#I really love when soundwave and shockwave have like a random seething hatred for each other#coworkers who are extremely distrustful of each other but are so compatible so they keep getting assigned together#soundwave doesn’t trust shockwave cus bro has no traceable thoughts or emotions#shockwave doesn’t trust soundwave cus bro knows a lot and is way too quiet about it#SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT. IM STOPPING BEFORE IT GETS SVEN LONGER
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omori tslb au comic
started this a while ago when i came up with shattered and scattered au (post omori bad ending where headspce bleeds into faraway and they have to figure out what's going on) remembered and decided to finish it today of all days. now i'm calling it "the shattered light bulb"
i am in no way a fic or comic writer so i doubt i'll ever make this into a full on series but i might post a couple more drabbles/ short out of context comics if i get to it. very welcome to any thoughts or questions ppl have
#kel’s the only one who figured out how sunny ‘disappeared’ but he keeps it quiet#bc they made a pact for everyone to stick together no matter what#and he believes everyone (esp aubrey they have not completely come to terms)#is gonna turn on basil#including basil himself#and he wants to wait a little longer#all in all everyone thinks this hangman game (i have to tell you something) is about themself#omori#omori au#tslb au#my art#vex draws#doodles#omori aubrey#omori basil#omori hero#omori kel
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not the first person to point this out, but i want You All to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!! (blows up)
in the new indigo disk official art, the crystal kieran is shown to be in is SHATTERED and DULL. how fun and normal!
Bonus Fun time! carmine is looking straight in his direction with a look of Pure and Utter worry !!!!
i sure do Hope these two don’t succumb to the horrors (gripping the sink trembling drenched in tears)
#arvenfanboyposting#pkmn sv#pokemon sv#indigo disk#sv dlc spoilers#kieran pokemon#rival kieran#pokemon carmine#scarvio#HAAAAHHHHHH OHHH i love when Tragedies /lie#this has had me despaired for the last day i couldn’t keep quiet any longer
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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transfem gorgug lives so close to my heart btw
#i am tme so lmk if i should shut up but she just. her character arc this season involving really embracing her anger#and just really refusing to keep quiet any longer. and that being so obviously a good thing narratively. it feels transfem#fhjy#dimension 20#fantasy high#the word of chuck
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what are hyakinthos's thoughts on the boatman and the slow boat in general?
Ooh, taking a quick sidestep from the rest of the ask game asks to answer this real quick! Short answer: a little complicated but generally friendly! Long answer: Gotta give some backstory first, bear with me. I have been thinking so much about belief systems vs established canon. Canon says that every human who dies regardless of belief (there may be nuance I'm forgetting but I'm in full speed infodump mode rn so that's a problem for future me) goes to the Far Shore. I say that's... kinda bleak? Also I'm just not a fan of stories where there is only One Real Belief and the rest are played off as silly distraction or whatever, but I digress.
A lot of his everything is based around the idea that both belief and proper death/burial care are important to get people to the afterlife they're meant to be in. Ritual makes all the difference between going to the Far Shore vs the Fields of Asphodel, for example.
His Boatman is Charon, or at least accepts the name. Hyakinthos has a working relationship with him and has probably taken up the oars at least a few times, especially for people who need the extra care in getting to where they need to be.
There's respect there, but there's also a certain... I'm not sure I have the words for it. The idea that death in the Neath is uncertain in so many ways (whether it'll stick that time, whether the person will make it to their afterlife or if they'll slip between the cracks and end up in the wrong place, etc) can be... discomfiting, to him. So while he does hold the boatman in high regard, there's always some little uncertainty there.
(Every so often, by their standards at least, Hyakinthos will bring him a very old obol. The Boatman will always refuse it. This is a ritual of its own. They'll sit for a while and talk anyways, and then part ways afterwards a little lighter.)
#a lot of this is. very theoretical sjfndkjnhg. but that is what he believes#a belief that he's held for longer than he can remember at this point#his lover was buried wrong in the neath. with respect but with the wrong customs#a different culture doing their best but not understanding the nuance#having to exhume and re-bury his lover according to their beliefs permanently rewrote some stuff in his brain i think#he just never wants anyone else to have to go through that fear. of a loved one lost. of being lost themselves in an unfamiliar afterlife#to him final death is a blessing and a comfort and he intends to keep it that way. no fear of what comes after because they know it's okay#i'm not sure if i properly answered your question despite all that dfkgnfhkd if so i'm sorry i got possessed#belief is important in the neath but it's hard to tell where it begins and ends in a literal sense. if the far shore really is all there is#then hyakinthos would feel actively betrayed by the boatman for disregarding all these peoples' beliefs#but if the far shore is an option but not the absolute (as he believes) then it's a lot more gentle of a regard#recognizing that mistakes can be made and dreading them but understanding that the boatman is very old and doing his best#they both are really#it's. you can see the difference there#but without having a distinct idea of where the lines lay it's a little hard to say for absolute certainty y'know#whoops did not mean to leave a whole other post in the tags. i have been quiet about this guy for too long. too much time to think abt shit#ty for bearing with me i guess kdsjgdhgdfgjh#the scientist scribbles#c: hyakinthos athanasiou
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that’s it. flower power is my secondary ship name for bapweaver
#i have had this tiktok stored in my phone for too long#i cannot keep quiet about it any longer#FLOWER POWER. FLOWER. POWER.#say it with me now#flower power#thank you#overwatch#my post
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yup
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youtube
Leaving this here for so-called "liberal" or "progressive" Americans who seem to think the rest of the world should give two shits that one of your genocidal political parties has replaced another genocidal party. For Palestinians, there is no difference. For the millions upon millions of other people around the world past and present who have been fucked over by American imperialist colonial violence since the days of the Great White Fleet either through direct military action, proxy wars, forcible displacement and resettlement, resource theft or political interference, it's never made much difference whether a Democrat or a Republican is in charge. Before you come on here ranting that someone who doesn't care who's running your country should "go die", maybe remember that your country is already killing them and keep that shit to yourself. Educate yourself about the bloodstained history of settler colonial states in general and the United States in particular, then find ways that you can take action to effect change. Start by freeing your mind from this fantasy that there's more than a whisker between your political choices; believe me, the rest of the world is laughing their asses off at you for thinking you have a "left wing" major party. You don't. (Canada doesn't either. Neither does the UK.) You will not bring about change by voting for one party or the other every four years. It's past time to smarten up. Start by listening, and learning. You shout far too much.
#I've been keeping quiet on here about this nonsense but I'm fucking tired#neoliberalism is was and always will be the handmaiden of fascism#the house is already burnt to the ground and you want to argue which one lit the match#wake up and find another path#not all americans something something insert standard disclaimer here#if this isn't about you keep it moving#I honestly no longer care
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TRANCH TRADE TRANCH TRADE TRANCH TRADE. throwing this at ur helmet so it bounces off in a goofy way
YAYYYYY TRANCH TRADE I LOVE IT HERE IN THE MUD AND GOOP AND BLOOD AND VISCERA!!!!!!!!
ohhhhh winnebago descriptions....... i loooove the winnebago i love the "living in their car and shitty motels bc they have nowhere else to go and are also on a huge fucked up road trip" energy..... ohhhh vyncent pov save me vyncent pov. see now you have to write a dakota pov to complete the set. 3 of them do not separate !!!!!
DESPERATELY SCROUNGING AROUND IN THE MUD for bits of my william fic i can share with you that arent MASSIVE fucking spoilers. hes going thru it a little . also this is insanely unedited bc i have just been writing it in little bursts at midnight+ :
alsooooo a little tiny bit of trickster dialogue from the mark nightmare fic (WHICH. BTW. is officially the longest thing I have written for fun in the last like 3 or 4 years holy shit. i officially crossed the 3k word threshhold yesterday everyone cheer and clap) :
#keeping this part in the tags bc im at work and i know im gonna fuck up the wordinf here but#i loooove already the stark difference between the vibes of this fic and your last one#like. quiet contemplative driving down a road while your friends are asleep in the back type sad vs the.#covered in dried blood and goop and still shaking from the adrenaline crash and actively going through shock type sad.#ur really good at capturing those feelings in a short number of words#ANYWAY. its soooo fun here in the trenches. i say looking like i just ripped a man in half with my bare hands. absolutely fucking drenched#friends!!!#friend art#fics#asks#intertexts#I LOVE TRANCH TIME#i have this disease that doesnt let me write fics that are longer than 2000 words. whats up with that.#. ill be writing for hours and be like DAMN that was a lot!! and then check the word count only for it to be like.... 500
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I really can't help but wonder what anon even expected or desired as a response
Either i respond publicly and with a 'yes and?'
I respond publicly saying 'idk what you're talking about' and prompt people to look up my name and twitter(which is how other people have found my nsfw twitter in the past because my name is on it) and find out(assuming i don't lock it but even then i'm sure there's proof of it somewhere--I know some anti briefly put my nsfw twitter in a tiktok at some point but the only thing that came of that was someone warning me it had been put in a tiktok) and idk people unfollow if they're uncomfortable i guess?
Or i ignore the ask and they get nothing or maybe keep badgering me or idk make a public callout i guess???
Like i really don't know what the end goal was with sending me an ask about something i'm very obviously public about in some capacity. If i was trying to hide it the twitter account would have been locked. Not to mention my pinned wouldn't explicitly warn for things i don't even post about on here just for the sake of making sure people know they might not be comfortable around me.
I REALLY DON'T GET IT LMAO AND THEN THEY SENT ME ANOTHER ASK WHEN I SHRUGGED IT OFF LIKE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WHY NOT JUST BLOCK ME I wish I could understand the mindset of people like this. What were you hoping to accomplish or see. Tell me anon i wanna know i wanna understand or is kinkshaming just your kink
#danie yells at anons#danie yells at existence#JUST I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT. WHAT A POINTLESS THING TO DO. ESPECIALLY IF YOU LOOK AROUND FOR LONGER THAN TWO MINUTES#YOU GOT TWO TWEETS INTO A TWITTER ACCOUNT WITH MY NAME ON IT AND WENT 'IM GONNA CALL YOU OUT ON THIS' ON WHAT THE RED FLAG I WEAR AS A CAPE?#i just. i have so many questions! where eas that supposed to go was it just a vent? did they not think that hard about it?? did they think#they wouldn't have made it that far lol#the fact that they sent me this ask and then basically went quiet when i was clearly unbothered makes me think i just gave an unsatisfying#response. sorry i'm idk not afraid of being weird on the internet i guess. not actually sorry i'm just like. genuinely curious about the idk#ecpectation they had there. it's been like 5 hours and i'm still thinking about this. like. genuinely. where was that supposed to go. people#here already have me blocked for this stuff you realize. that's why it's there. people i've never spoken to in my life have me blocked over#things like this which is awesome because they are protecting their peace and mine#just. idk. i like to understand people. and it just keeps coming back to me that there was no way for them to win this. maybe they realized#i hope they've got some new perspective and move on peacefully either way lmao. block me or mute me or whatever helps them.
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Just read something saying that the moment of clarity route was """ karmic Justice """ and a part of my soul died a little.
#slay the princess#stp moment of clarity#she has spoken#I like moment of clarity now. I really do#It's no longer some messed up cycle of hate and pity#but the idea that ANYONE deserves hundreds of deaths sickens me#All while being slowly and carefully “moulded” into a docile husk#oh and said person being turned into a docile husk is the very concept of stagnation itself#which makes the entire process be even slower and painful#Also hot take: keeping the nightmare trapped is justified#The nightmare is more than just a desperate woman#lashing out at the only creature she ever knew for abandoning her like in chapter 1#She openly admits to wanting to turn the world into a horrid place#and one point can say she wants to “do a little unwinding herself”#but all she knows is how to hurt and she wants a friend!#yeah as if the long quiet somehow knew that while his organs were rapidly dying#I'm sorry if this came off as aggressive I genuinely am#That one comment just struck a very deep chord for me
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Genuinely so sad because I wish I could just draw and write again
#we knew the good (productive) times couldn't last forever.#i used to be able to write 11k without a break. doing all-nighters i was so into it. used to be able to draw multiple sketches a day.#now i just feel totally drained and flat. bled dry. where's the excitement in drawing and writing anymore?#i just need to graduate. i need to finish this life chapter and do OTHER things.#it's hard to keep drawing/writing on a dying website for a dying fandom#thinking about trying to write something original because of my specific interests#y'know how at a certain point it starts to sound less like fan fiction and more just original.#there might be a chance i'm very depressed. like no longer in the mopey edgy teenage way#but in the long-term quiet withdrawn flat and emotionally dead way.#wdym i'm 26 and have done basically nothing? wdym i'm a 26 year old woman?? i'll be 30 soon??#idk what would fix me. i'm doing what i can.#fuck i miss writing my dumb queer quartet mysteries
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i will make a proper announcement post later (with a discord people can join!) but for now. i've started development on my franklin expedition game and i'm having SO much fun. guys i'm having so much fun
#i was waiting to officially announce until it's just a bit further along but. i can't keep quiet any longer i have to talk about this#most exciting project i've ever done possibly
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to meee :3 akechi and sumire arent exactly friends throughout january, (they only get really close several years later) but as a side effect of neither having anything better to do and the two constantly haunting kichijoji i think they inevitably fall together more often than not. ren takes sumire out for darts and shes weirdly better than she was last time (sidebar but the fact that sumire and akechi both mimic your throws but sumire sucks shit at darts too much for it to do any good is so cute) and shes like oh yeah akechi-san has been teaching me. oh wow i got a forty! unaware of the way she just blew rens mind.
#the clock chimes at midnight#its not all about you ren!!!!!#sidebar to the sidebar. of course sumire imitates your dart throws. of course.#again theyre too busy fighting for their respective lives in the time loop to actually become friends in january#but i do think in the years before meeting again they think of the time with fond bittersweetness of what couldve been.#theyre not really going out together but more mutually keeping each other company lol. its generally a pretty quiet affair.#sumire doesnt really ask him for advice as she puts herself back together (he tends to get acerbic if she tries)#but he can be a pretty decent sounding board for either really simple (red or blue glasses)#or really philosophical (do you think my time as kasumi irrevocably changed who i am and if so am i still sumire) questions.#he does not tell her anything concrete about why the other thieves are so tense with him and she doesnt ask outright#but she able to glean a bit more about him through these discussions. and sadly for both of them they both actually sort of like each other#they get food. play darts. practice mementos on their own a few times (THEY GET A SHOWTIME STOP LYING TO ME!!).#and i sort of think akechi smokes either hes always done it or very recently picked it up now that he no longer needs to be personable#and sumires like well. im going to remain myself but i still want to do smth self-destructive. smoke me up man.#(also all her clothes smell like kasumi and its freaking her out. she doesnt mind smelling bad if itll distinguish her.)#idk. akesumi smiles gently.
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my mom and her boyfriend were away for the weekend and just got back and the second they got back i could physically feel any sense of peace i felt over the weekend disappear and turn into dread. god.
#the house was so clean and quiet and peaceful#i could actually eat my meals in the kitchen instead of holed up alone in my room#and sit outside on the balcony with my plants#i feel so frustrated when the assumption is just that i am depressed#i am but who wouldn’t be. i live in a house of hell and have never had a good situation or known warmth ever in my life#any sense of peace i get just comes in tiny slivers and keeping them is always out of reach#i am going to snap if i stay here for much longer
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