#bc they made a pact for everyone to stick together no matter what

[foxyfexyll]

omori tslb au comic

started this a while ago when i came up with shattered and scattered au (post omori bad ending where headspce bleeds into faraway and they have to figure out what's going on) remembered and decided to finish it today of all days. now i'm calling it "the shattered light bulb"

i am in no way a fic or comic writer so i doubt i'll ever make this into a full on series but i might post a couple more drabbles/ short out of context comics if i get to it. very welcome to any thoughts or questions ppl have

[jounetsunosymphonia]

Nocturnality (Mankai Stage Winter 2020 translation)

translation for the stage version of winter’s third play! song can be found in full here.

ALRIGHT FOLKS IT’S THE GAY PEOPLE. HERE WE GO. a lot of it is actually like...silent? you can hear it in the soundtrack ver that it’s just inst with some occasional sound effects and i’ll write in what’s happening, but i just think it’s interesting that that’s how they decided to go about showing things for noct. i mean, it makes sense. show not tell amirite.

cast list

Yukishiro Azuma (Ueda Kandai) as Kuto Reo Takato Tasuku (Kitazono Ryo) as Seo Kota Mikage Hisoka (Ueda Keisuke) as Franz Arisugawa Homare (Tanaka Ryousei) as Nonomiya Tsukioka Tsumugi (Aramaki Yoshihiko) as Izumi Ryohei

-

(the curtain rises. kota is going about his business, reading and sleeping on the couch in the foreground, going to work at his office. in the background, reo drinks from an unsuspecting passerby, but is accosted by a vampire hunter in white. franz shows up to have a knife fight with the vampire hunter, but reo is injured, and falls into kota’s arms as he’s walking home.)

Kota: Hey!

Reo: Help...me...

-

Reo: Good morning. You were a great help yesterday.

Kota: Did you make this?

Reo: It’s just from what was in the fridge, so it’s nothing special, but I wanted to give you something as thanks for letting me stay the night.

Kota: Amazing. What are you, a wife?

Reo: I’ve lived this long, but I think this is the first time someone’s called me a wife.

(kota takes a bite of the sandwich reo made him, but the funny part is that bc of the face shield requirement, it doesn’t make it to his mouth. the poor man can’t eat his wife’s cooking. rest in pieces.)

Kota: It’s good! I’m Seo Kota. And you are?

Reo: Reo...Kuto Reo.

Kota: Reo. If you don’t have anywhere else to go, you can stay here for a while.

Reo: You’d let a man you don’t even know stay in your house?

Kota: Eh, well...my room’s nice and clean...and this is delicious. If you stay, it’ll be a big help for me too.

Reo: You’re really trusting, aren’t you. Well, I’ll be in your care, then.

Kota: Aren’t you going to eat?

Reo: I eat at irregular times. Don’t mind me, just eat.

[winter telepathy time part 1] Azuma: (Just as I’d expect from you. You’re really giving off this feeling of helplessness that’s nothing like how you are normally.)

Tasuku: (The version of me that always seems strong might be the one that’s acting, though.)

Azuma: (You can say something like that without hesitation...you’re an adult, so you are strong.)

Tasuku: (Because we’ve got these members...let’s take this to the very end, in a delicate way fitting for Winter.)

Azuma: (Yes, let’s.)

-

Kota: I’m off.

Reo: Take care.

Kota: So you’re just going to send me out. Yesterday...you asked me for help...

Reo: I’m sorry...

-

Izumi: Oh, do you live here? I just moved in, I’m Izumi.

Kota: I’m Seo. Nice to meet you.

Izumi: You’re on your way to work, right? Sorry for stopping you.

Kota: No, it’s alright. If you ever have any problems, please let me know.

-

Nonomiya: Hey, I heard. You picked someone up off the street? That’s way too suspicious. This isn’t an afternoon drama or a manga for middle-aged ladies.

Kota: Give me a break. Reo’s a good guy. And he can cook.

Nonomiya: (sigh.) If you say stuff like that it’s only gonna hurt you.

[winter telepathy time part 2] Homare: (Well, well, how is it? My acting as an office worker.)

Tasuku: (Honestly, I’m surprised. You can even do a role like this smoothly now, huh.)

Homare: (An outstanding artist can excel in anything they do.)

Tasuku: (How reliable.)

Homare: (Now, continue as you like. The rest of us shall support you.)

-

(kota goes home. he and reo spend time talking together until he seems to get tired, when reo helps him over to the bed.)

Reo Saying that I’m sorry Might not be fair I’m eating away at your life And yet I wonder why Even though I want your blood, I don’t want it

(and then reo dramatically leans over kota and just, Bite)

Kota: Sorry about last night.

Reo: ...what for?

Kota: I’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately. I must be noisy in my sleep.

Reo: No, you’ve been sleeping quietly.

Kota: That’s good, then.

Reo: Rather than worry about someone else, you should look after yourself...

Kota: Huh?

Reo: Nothing. Are you feeling well? Can you go to work?

Kota: Yeah. I had some of your cooking, so I’m fine. I’m off.

-

Izumi: Good morning.

Kota: Good morning.

Izumi: Ah, Seo-san. Are you off on weekdays as well? I’ve been hearing noises from next door in the middle of the day, so...

Kota: Oh, no. I just have a friend over.

Izumi: Is that so...a friend. (i love this part bc when he says ““ah. a friend.”” he goes from being nice gentle neighbour to “were it not for the fact that you were a human i would have murdered you where you stand” in like zero seconds, thanks mackey)

[winter telepathy time part 3] Tasuku: (How is everyone, Tsumugi?)

Tsumugi: (To put it simply, I’ve got respect for them. No matter how minute an action is, they can return it, and everyone’s acting is so varied, it’s interesting.)

Tasuku: (Jeez, you’re the one who does that the most and you’re going to say it?)

Tsumugi: (We...started acting so that one day we’d meet Winter, didn’t we.)

Tasuku: (...we did.)

-

Nonomiya: Oi, Seo. You look terrible.

Kota: I just didn’t get any sleep, I guess.

Nonomiya: It’s not just today. You’ve been like this the whole week. That’s when you met that freeloader, right? Something’s just off about him.

Kota: I told you, it’s not Reo’s fault.

Nonomiya: No, he’s too suspicious. I’m coming with you.

-

Franz: Well, you’ve found a nice place to lay your head, haven’t you? Care to share it with me?

Reo: It’s not like that. Don’t interfere.

Franz: Ah, how cold! Isn’t that a part of our relationship?

Reo: If that’s all you wanted from me, then leave, Franz.

Franz I don’t know what it is you’ve become so infatuated with But we cannot—

Reo I know, the sun’s light is too strong ...and yet, I’ll end up longing for it anyway

Franz Hatred of the dark—

Reo I can’t help but wish—

Franz —is humanity’s weakness

Reo —that we’d be able to live alongside each other

Kota: Eh? Reo...who’s that?

Nonomiya: Wait, that’s who you picked up? I knew it, he’s definitely suspicious!

Kota: I told you, he isn’t like that. Hey, Reo!

(i just wanna point out here it’s so funny he goes from :( at nono to the gentlest voice calling out to reo, and nonomiya just loOKS SO PISSED LIKE . HUH? WHAT ARE YOU BEING SOFT AT HIM FOR. HEY.)

Reo: Kota...

Franz: Is that him? Well, he does have a good physique... (franz licks his fangs i hate it so much u all need to know this)

Reo: Franz, let’s go somewhere else.

Nonomiya: They ran off! Those guys are probably part of some criminal organisation or something, right?!

Kota: That’s enough, Nonomiya! But...why did he ignore me...?

Kota Letting you stay in my home Might be unfair

Kota, Reo I’m getting used to having you around You’re a man I just met, only by coincidence But I always want to be with you

Franz: You haven’t been drinking blood much, have you?

Reo: Since I’m staying in his home, I can’t bring myself to drink from him properly.

Franz: Is that not the entire point of this human? Just hurry up and drink already, you’ll die.

Reo: That’s what I wanted to do at first.

-

Kota: Why did you just run away without saying anything...Reo...

-

Franz: Our pursuers are closing in on this neighbourhood. That’s what I came here to tell you.

Reo: Thank you.

Franz: Have you no intention of leaving that house? Surely, at this point—

Reo: It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

-

(kota is asleep on the floor by the couch by the time reo gets back home and thEY ARE LITERALLY SITTING LIKE THE DAMN POSTER HOLDING HANDS AS REO SINGS THE NEXT PART)

Reo Even if it isn’t fair for me to apologise I need to tell you I’m glad I met you So I’ll leave it til the end I want your blood I want it more than anyone else

-

Reo: You’ve been such a great help. I didn’t mean to stay for so long, but I got too comfortable.

Kota: There’s no need for you to leave so soon, since it’s easier on me too, anyway.

Reo: That’s not why I’m leaving.

Kota: Have you found a place to stay?

Reo: Kind of. Kota...thank you.

-

Kota: Oh, Izumi-san. Good morning.

Reo: You...!

Izumi: So you’re moving out? Well, here’s a going-away present.

Reo: Kota, get back! (izumi runs him right through with a sword. a whole sword.)

Kota: Izumi-san?

Izumi: What a shame. It’s only been a little while, but we were neighbours too! (he twists the sword while it’s still in reo, he’s a terrible man and i love him)

Kota: What are you doing?!

(some very excellent sword swinging and mad cackling from izumisan while reo is suffering and falls to the ground. thank you mackey.)

Izumi: Filthy creature of the night. Thou shalt be eradicated in the name of my blood pact!

(kota runs in front of reo.)

Izumi: Out of the way. I’ll kill you as well.

Reo: Stop! Kota has nothing to do with this!

Izumi: Ha! The two of you are friendly, aren’t you. Even though humans are nothing more than meals to your kind.

Kota: Meals...? What are you talking about?

Izumi: He’s a vampire. Humans’ enemy.

Kota: Vampire? Reo would never...! (he backs away from reo for a bit)

Reo: Kota...

Izumi: Now, hand him over.

(kota goes back to reo and protectively puts his arms around him.)

Izumi: Ah, so you’ve debased yourself to the level of an underling of blood. No matter. I’ll send you both off.

(franz jumps from the steps, fending off izumi’s sword with his two entire knives i love stage ver. he even twirls a knife as he talks.)

Franz: Oh, my. I thought I’d join in myself, but it looks like I’ve drawn the short end of the stick. Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll give you a hand.

Izumi: Accursed vampire...

(EXTREMELY GOOD SWORD + KNIFE FIGHT IT’S GOOD THAT’S ALL I CAN TELL YOU THEY’RE EXCELLENT I LOVE THEM)

[winter telepathy time part 4] Tsumugi: (This is amazing, Hisoka-kun. Your movements are far more polished than they were during rehearsals.)

Hisoka: (I don’t even need to think, my body’s just moving on its own. I don’t know why, though.)

Tsumugi: (Maybe it has something to do with your past.)

Hisoka: (I want to face them too...like Azuma...my memories...)

(THIS ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STILL AGGRESSIVELY KNIFE FIGHTING EVEN WHILE THEY’RE HAVING THIS INTERNAL CONVERSATION I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME)

(franz disarms izumi and kicks him in the face.)

Franz: Want to keep going?

Izumi: Humanity will not yield to your kind. The white blade shall invariably pass judgement upon you! (he runs away like a little bitch but at least he got a real fight this time)

Kota: Reo! Reo!!

Franz: Can you leave him to me?

Kota: But...

Franz: Worry not. He and I are the same.

Kota: ...Fine. Please take care of him.

Franz: There’s a good boy.

Kota There’s no need for you to apologise I’ll give you my blood So please, please Live I don’t want to lose you

(IN AT LEAST ONE OF THE LIVE VERSIONS HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S STARTING TO CRY AS HE’S SINGING THE LAST LINE. WHAT EVEN IS STAGE NOCT)

-

Reo: Where’s Kota...?

Franz: He’s fine. You don’t expect me to ask him to share some of his blood, do you?

Reo: ...thank you, Franz.

Franz: Since you’ve been found out, you can’t stay here any longer. The next one will be coming along soon.

Reo: What have we done wrong? We only live a little longer than regular humans.

Franz: Anything unorthodox must be eliminated. That’s how humanity is.

-

Kota: Reo!

Reo: This is goodbye, Kota. I’m glad I met you.

Kota: I understand what’s going on now. There’s no need for you to leave!

Reo: Humans like you make even this mundane life worth living.

Kota: Are you just going to live alone like this again?

Reo: This is the fate of my kind.

Kota: ...then, take me with you. (this idiot is really out here on the ground opening his fucking collar i’m sorry i can’t take it here i’m lsoing my shit)

Reo: What...?

Kota: I’m saying I’ll keep you company. I’ll do anything, I’ll even become a vampire!

[winter telepathy time part 5] Azuma: (This distance that we haven’t...that we couldn’t break through until now...after bravely taking a step forward, I feel like we’ve become more connected to each other than ever before.)

Reo: ...Thank you, Kota. Just hearing you say that, I...

aaaand it goes into shoutai here. as always from the wiki

Reo, Kota The truth is I want to bite sweetly into the nape of your neck, and play with the red blood that flows forth Though my instincts may howl for release, I have kept them held back deep inside me If I hated you any more than I do, I would have long taken everything from you To the point that my throat runs dry, my heart has thirsted for it Listening to the tender echo of your sleeping breaths I have begun to learn what it means to fear loneliness

Reo Laughing at myself for letting a human grow on me I walk out into the depths of darkness all alone

(here i genuinely think that reo doesn’t actually bite kota again like he does in the original? like, he just kinda knocks him out and leaves his coat over him like a blanket. which makes me ??!?!!?? like...it feels like it’s really driving home the whole idea that reo doesn’t want to hurt him any more than he already has and i’m bbbhgbhhhb   ok)

Reo: Good night, and sweet dreams...

-

Nonomiya: Hey. Hey! Are you alive? Seo-chan?! (SEO-CHAN????????????)

Kota: ...h.

Nonomiya: What, you just overslept? You had me worried since you didn’t show up to work.

Kota: (running around the room) Where’s Reo?

Nonomiya: Reo? (picks up the jacket on the floor) What’s this?

Kota: (clutching the jacket in tears) He...left me behind... (HE STARTS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR)

Nonomiya: Are you okay...? Hey...

(while kota is sobbing on the floor you can see reo at the top part of the stage staring forlornly at the whole thing. i hate it here so much)

Kota: That idiot...

(it’s in the actual show, i don’t know why it’s not included in the soundtrack? ig bc it’s like...an adlib in-universe but so is sagishima’s thing about being fond of shiki and that’s on the soundtrack. idk man. thanks for reading the vampire gays.)

[priortodaybreak]

so my friend dared me to put one of my ‘original works’ here so ya’ll are gonna get my DnD characters backstory bc thats the only thing i’m moderately proud of. absolutely no need to reblog or read, it’s going under the cut. thx

Mareep was born 30 years ago, in a deep underground cavern carved out into a hill within a lush green forest. Mareep was born an Urd—leathery yellow wings pressed tight to her back, still thin and unable to hold her weight just yet, with dark brown eyes—practically black in the darkness of the cavern system.

She hatched the same time as her twin sister—Seri, a small yellow Kobold with amber eyes. They were inseparable for the first few years of life, even when Mareep was taken out of the caverns to get flight lessons from a few older Urd. Mareep would shirk her lessons to find her sister, telling her all about the world outside the caverns with sunlight that would hurt her eyes, creatures she could spot tramping through the undergrowth, and the answers to the unrelenting questions she would have for the elders. They would speak for hours in a hidden cavern branch, where sometimes it would take a whole day for an adult to find them.

Seri wanted out of the caverns. Yellow is an unnatural color for Kobolds, and everyone made sure the sisters knew they weren’t like everyone else. Mareep was ‘acceptable’ because of her wings—she could be an asset to the colony, even with her obnoxious coloring. But Seri wasn’t so lucky—she wasn’t magically inclined, as some Kobolds could be from a young age, so she didn’t get special instruction. But Seri was fast—racing through the caverns with Mareep was one of her favorite past-times.

Seri wanted to be an adventurer—she would find a dragon for the clan, one that was powerful and strong, and then she would be accepted—even thanked. Mareep had no such ideals—she found the special treatment because of color or extra limbs to be distasteful—her tail would whip angrily every time a Kobold told them to stop racing through the caverns, especially when they eyed her beloved sister with distain. Seri didn’t understand her sister’s anger and distance the clan—they were Kobolds, and Kobolds stuck together, even when they didn’t really get along. But Mareep was loyal to Seri—going along with whatever her sister wanted, and if she wanted a dragon, then by Tiamat she was gonna get her a dragon.

One day, Mareep found her sister sulking in their carved-out quarters after Mareep angered the elders again with her onslaught of questions. During Common lessons, some of the other young Kobolds cried out and shrank and wailed at the sight of Seri—warbling about sunlight in the caverns hurting their precious eyes. It was a common insult, comparing them to sunlight, but this time Mareep could see it hurt her sister a bit more deeply.

So she suggested a run. Running always made Seri happy, and this time was no different.

Except they went farther than normal—squeezing through cracks and going deeper than the glow-stones traveled.

Mareep fell behind, calling for her sister to slow down, to wait for her, when there was a booming crash and a short cry. Mareep quickly found the place where the floor collapsed, and underneath was old catacombs. Slimy and moldy with a foul stench, Mareep spread her wings and entered without a second thought, gliding down to where her sister was pulling herself out of rubble.

They didn’t see the Ooze until it was almost on top of them.

Seri had hurt her foot in the fall—she couldn’t climb. Mareep grabbed her sister and tried to fly—she wasn’t strong enough to get more than a few feet off the floor. Mareep was scared—all those bedtime stories of Oozes coming after young Kobolds who didn’t follow rules were coming back to haunt them.

Seri was brave.

“We can take it!”

“What?! Seri, it’s huge-”

“So is everything else! Come on, drop stalactites on it! I’ll distract it!”

And it worked! Mareep would fly up and strike at the stalactites above the creature, cracking them and having them fall to strike the monster. Seri was still fast, even with her injury—she would run and dodge and taunt the creature.

Finally after one last large falling rock, the creature was dead. Seri cheered for her sister as Mareep clung, tired, to one of the remaining stalactites. Movement caught Mareep’s eye, and she gasped.

“Seri, look out!”

A second Ooze, clinging to the wall, fell fast and hard onto Mareep’s sister.

“Mareep, run! Run!” Seri shouted, clawing at the ooze, wide amber eyes darting around in fear to see other oozes falling from the walls.

“Seri-!”

“Find my dragon!” She cried out before being consumed by the black pudding.

Mareep still hates herself for running. They were eight springs old.

The elders flew into a panic—Mareep took them quickly down to the caverns again, begging the fighters to save Seri.

They just closed off the cavern with mud and fire—creating a thick wall with no cracks, nothing the Oozes could seep through.

Mareep injured three older Kobold in her fury before they could subdue her.

She was angry with her clan—she understood, logically, why they did what they did, and she hated herself for understanding. But she hated the Oozes more. She would analyze the fight before sleeping, running through her last moments with her beloved sister over and over again. She questioned any and all Kobold fighters about the nature of Oozes—where they were found, what kinds, what they could do, how they could fight.

The archers took to her—they liked her drive, her single-mindedness. They taught her how to shoot, how to hunt in the forest—her wings gave her an advantage in the treetops, surprising enemies and giving terrain details to the lead hunter to set up traps and flank enemies. When Mareep turned ten springs, she was taken on routinely raids and more frequently into the nearest towns to trade jewels for clothing and weapons.

It took 5 springs, but she soon amassed enough knowledge and survival gear to leave her clan and embark on her own.

She was on her own for 4 years, sticking to the familiar terrain of forests before she was captured by an Orc group. They shackled her and caged her, and after a year of wandering to towns and cities and being bartered over in back alleys she was sold to a Human warlock named Alesil De la Hera.

Alesil was old and bitter. He was looking for a slave—concealed by the title ‘assistant’ to protect his ‘name’. He worked as a Public scribe—sitting in dusty stalls for hours on end, writing letters for those less fortunate to be able read, let alone write. Mareep would keep his water skein full, keep his desk clean and his writing implements sharp, and use her wings to fan him when there was no breeze.

The first time she tried to run, he found her within minutes and cast Eldritch Blast—Mareep learned very quickly not to run.

Alesil was partial to ale and would often lament over his lost job—for quite a number of years he was a Court scribe, working under royalty to record official documents and write beautiful letters for nobles. But no matter how much Ale Mareep would fetch for him, or how she would fawn and grovel to him, he would not reveal why he had to leave the lap of luxury for a dusty stall.

Mareep, full of questions but having a healthy fear of her master, would seek answers in the multiple tomes he kept in his modest home, reading in the dark to prevent waking Alesil. At one point she unearthed his book of spells and could not bite her tongue fast enough the next morning.

“You could just get an Unseen Servant to do it.” She grumbled but shrunk in fear when Alesil’s head snapped up from his breakfast to hold her with his eyes.

“How do you know that spell?”

“I mean no disrespect, o’ great Master Hera-!”

“Answer the question, Urd.”

“…I read it, Master. In your book of spells.” Mareep squeaked, tail coiled tight around her leg.

“…You can read common.”

“Y-yes, Master De la Hera. Read and write. As well as Draconic.” Mareep said, no immediate punishment making her raise her snout to look at her master.

“The Orcs told me you were a stupid creature, ousted from your clan for your color, but quite good at groveling to higher powers.” He said, and Mareep visibly bristled, tail unwrapping to swish once.

“Just because I am small does not make me simple.”

Alesil laughed, causing Mareep to pause.

“Right you are. And what thoughts do you have on my letters?”

“That you write for the illiterate?” Mareep clarified, causing Alesil to nod. “You speak only the truth in the letters—even if it is not what the person wants. It is…admirable.”

Alesil laughed again. Mareep was unnerved, but no longer afraid.

“To answer your question, little one, I do not use an Unseen Servant because I like being able to see the people who work for me.”

“So you’re just a bastard.”

“A bastard who can instruct actual people on how to properly maintain my tools. Come, time to go to the stall.”

After that interaction Mareep fielded more questions at Alesil, who would answer depending on his mood. He would throw piles of paper at the Kobold, requiring her to organize them and read the information contained within, then quiz her on the information later. He taught her how to write perhaps a bit more elegantly, instead of what he called ‘dragon scratch’.

He eventually learned her name, but refused to call her by it in public—perhaps to maintain the ‘assistant’ air he so often tried to keep on him like a threadbare cloak.

Alesil eventually told her more about his life as a Warlock and a Court Scribe. His pact required him to give souls to maintain his power—the more ‘innocent’ the soul, the more power he would obtain. He started with wild animals, but soon his daemon was no longer satisfied. So, he worked his way into the good graces of a royal and would falsely accuse visitors of forgery or deception against the ruler. They would be thrown in the dungeons, where he would then harvest their soul to give to his daemon.

But while he was a scribe, he discovered something about the royal lineage that the librarians were ordered to hide. One of the older kings was barren—his queen would not become pregnant. So he ordered a handmaiden and a soldier to enter a nearby settlement and steal a babe to raise as their own.

The royal blood wasn’t so royal after all.

He left quickly and disappeared into the masses, but he missed the lavish lifestyle he had. The librarians had come to the conclusion he knew and threatened to have his wealth and title stripped before the king if he did not leave the court immediately. So he made an excuse to the current royalty—that he was getting on in age and wished to retire to a comfortable life. They were angry with his abrupt departure but allowed him to leave with his head on his shoulders.

Under fear of being discovered, he hasn’t told anyone of his findings—who would believe him? And blood doesn’t matter—wealth and authority do, in his eyes, and he had to give both up to continue living and maintain his name (or at least, the fake name he used in their court).

Alesil refused to tell Mareep who exactly the barren king was, because anything he told her eventually made its way to their stall mates—he still received invites to the local pub because of her loose tongue.

They grew close over the years, more like ‘master and student’ and less like ‘master and servant’. Alesil taught Mareep how to read, write, and speak both Dwarfish and Elfish. Mareep would listen more attentively than any student he ever had—drinking in his every word, her mind running fast and sharp, sometimes ahead of her speech and she would slip into different languages (most usually Draconic).

On occasion, when sitting in a stall was unproductive (such as a rainy day) he would take her to the local library or bookshop and introduce her to colleagues passing through, to the local librarians and other Sages. There and only then would he introduce her as his student—sometimes while she was exploring shelves for literature he requested she would catch a fond tone in his voice, but dismiss it as him talking about his Warlock days.

They spent 10 years together. Mareep never felt the burn of a spell except on that first day, and they grew to care for each other over time and through hardships.

One hot spring night, Mareep was startled out of a doze by her Master’s hoarse shout echoing through the house. Grabbing a water skein, she rushed to his room, helping him breathe and drink slowly—when his hands shook too much, she lifted the water skein.

She was dismissed rather harshly, and he locked the door to his room behind her after practically shoving her out. She fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of the Oozes again after not thinking of them for the longest time.

She missed her sister. Seri would have known how to approach Alesil.

Mareep missed his exit into the storm that shook their roof, and instead nervously shuffled papers and organized books that were already organized. When he returned with adventuring gear made to fit a creature of her size, she was stunned. Nothing could have hinted at this as the result.

“I have an assignment for you, Mareep.”

“Yes, Master Alesil?”

“I need you to search for an answer to this question—don’t look at it now.” He said, handing her the thick parchment, worn soft at the creases. “It is beyond this town’s knowledge. Perhaps some other locations may lend insight. You said you were a Ranger, correct?”

“Am. I am a ranger.” She answered, and he smiled at her.

“Yes, quite right. Here—everything you could possibly need. Wait, one more thing.” He said, rushing off to his chambers before coming back with his calligraphy set. Wrapping it in wax parchment, he set it deep in the adjusted backpack to be protected from the elements.

“Master…”

“I had them specially make the backpack and clothing to fit someone of your stature and maintain your ability to fly. This belt will hold your short-sword and whip. The quiver sits under your arm with a cover to keep the arrows in, and the longbow attaches to it. This is a sheath to attach to your ankle for the dagger.”

“Master.”

“I had to short a few rations and torches to fit the other supplies, but you have excellent vision in the dark so I didn’t see that as an issue-”

“Alesil!” Mareep shouted, stopping his furious packing. “What is this about?”

He pointed to the parchment in her hand. “Bring me the answer to that question and I’ll proclaim you as my student to anyone who will listen.”

Mareep swished her tail at the challenge and nodded firmly. She changed, and he dispelled the magic on her ankle chains keeping her bound to him.

“Good luck, Dragonling.” He said to her at the door, into the pouring rain, and she grinned a mouth full of teeth at her Master.

“I don’t need luck, I’m a Kobold.”

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #8: "stick to ONE STORY, not nineteen." - Zach

I think missing the Joint-Tribal Council has been a net positive for my game. Both Takagi2.0 and Kato2.0 were unable to put their differences aside to settle the vote, which means Attila is free to come in and play kingmaker. The choice here is obvious. Kato2.0 could use some shrinkage. Hopefully starting with one of the two original Kato members.

I've re-connected with all of my allies. A lot of them were scared for me during my little tie incident. But now that we're back together again, we have nothing to worry about. ;)

Ally told me everything about the Joint-Tribal vote, and how Kato2.0 seemed unwilling to flip on itself. She even went so far as to tell me Zach seems more loyal to Kato2.0 than she originally expected. Maybe she'll be down to vote him out sooner than I expected. Karth also told me about the vote, and the dynamics of the Kato2.0 tribe. Jake seems to be the odd one out in all of this. It sounds like he's starting to isolate himself socially by being too sketchy with both the StephenW/Federico votes. I wonder where Miguel/Zach/Tim fit into all of this.... I guess if Karth flips, it won't really matter anyway.

It's weird to feel this safe with my alliances right now. It's honestly a new feeling for me in ORG's. I'm finding myself questioning whether I'm being arrogant or if my position is really as good as it appears to be. I put a lot of work into my relationships in the pre-merge and I feel like my social/strategic bonds couldn't be stronger than they are right now. I just hope it all starts to bare fruit here and I can be a serious winner contender.

Luke is a crackhead confirmed.

He literally is as messy as a Sloppy Joe. His stories literally don't add up in any way, shape, or form. He first began by letting me know that: Karth, Aly, and, Zach are in alliance. (He's basically trying to get me spooked about those three potentially working together in this game. K cool. FINE. Spooked? barely?).

BUT THEN he goes on to say the votes for Stephen Z were 5 to 3 and that Aly voted in the minority... but? if she had this alliance? wouldn't she have known where to fucking vote? Weird, right? Why would she flip on her "alliance" of Zach, Karth, and herself. THEN he proceeds to tell me that Aly flipped between voting out Zach and Stephen all day?

THEN HE TELLS ME... SHE WAS FLIPPING BETWEEN WHERE TO VOTE ALL DAY...

MY DUDE.. IF SHE WAS IN AN ALLIANCE WITH ZACH WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE FLIP FLOP BETWEEN VOTING HIM OUT?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

In conclusion, Luke is too messy for my taste and needs to go.

the end.

OMG I feel so happy we finally merged! I feel like I have options to work with in this merge as I think Zach, Karthik, Jake and Tim could stick together. I also have the option to work with Luke and Jake later on the game as og Kato (I have 0 interest in playing with Alyssa). If I had to choose someone to leave next it would be either Jess, Stephen (Bc I don't know em) or Alyssa who I never trusted. Also the joint tribal was a mess but it ended up going the way I wanted with an og Kato gone. (why do I want an og Kato gone?) well most of them are liars and players, but I don't wanna close the option to play with em, so like the least og Kato members there r the best bc no one would expect that probability. I also reaaally like Ally but I'm not exactly sure if I can trust her.

Well the joint tribal was intense as expected. Glad to have come through it and made the merge without facing much trouble. I learnt a lesson not to trust someone just based on past relationships. I had been looking forward to meet Luke as I have played with him on EM and he is lovely. But the first day we meet on this game he has been going around saying Zach,Ally and me are an alliance that would run this game. Not cool Luke! But I can't blame him for this as he is playing his game. I trusted Ally a lot too but off-late things seem odd with her. She told me she was voting Stephen W but then she tells me that she changed her mind at the last moment as Stephen W told her that he had an idol. I am not sure if I could believe her on this. I cannot feel comfortable anymore in this game and have to start reconsidering my options. I have been on good terms with Tim and I am planning to try and improve on it and be his best buddy. Feel things are gonna get real intense now with the merge and I am hoping I could lay low and somehow survive the next couple of votes and plan from there.

I actually made merge? shook.

I'm not too sure how exactly I am going to navigate this merge at this current moment. If you would have asked me 10 days ago who I would want to work with in the merge I probably would have had a different answer as I currently do. Honestly I found myself working with... Alyssa somehow again. However, I feel like we both know we want to end each other's game but none of us can do it just yet. So that's going to be a problem down the line and It'll be fun to see what happens. However, I'm more worried about ending Stephen's game than I am at ending Alyssa's. This dude has COME TO PLAY. I can see him making it far in this game. You can already tell he's socially connected, strategic, and I'm sure he can bring the physical when needed.

... but... I can't start killing my alliances games just yet. Right now I need to build relationships with everyone and I'm STRUGGLING to do so. I don't know if it's just these people in this game or if it's me? I've been attempting to talk to every single person in this game but.. I'm not getting much. I know this is going to sound horrible but.. trying to socialize with some of these people feels having to go to the dentist. It's unpleasant.. but I have to do it.

To build some sort of trust with certain people... I used what Luke told me about the "alliance" of Zach, Aly, and Karth and let them all know in order to build some trust. However, Alyssa randomly already knew about it (I didn't tell her) and so did Tim? So? Big Mood Energy.

There are rumours of a Kato 2.0 alliance going around currently. I want to end that "alliance" BAD if it really is a thing. However, I really don't want to step on Tim's toes and blindside him. Once I lose Tim's trust in this game I think my game is going to become significantly harder to play. I'm just not too sure what the fuck to do. I'm already flopping hard here.

Well, to the basement once again and it sucks. I never find any luck in stuff like these which makes it terrible. A lot might happen during the merge vote as its an important vote and being left out of it is not so good for me. I can feel that Ally and Stephen have lost some trust in me which makes me sad and worried as I have been considering them as my core allies. I dont feel so good atm and I get a negative vibe which tells me I could go home tonight :(

AHHHH so merge!!! Im so happy I made merge!! Stephen won immunity as well as Alyssa!!  I hope I can survive!!

I find myself in a fast forming majority with Ally, Jess, Stephen, and Alyssa. Ok the flip side I’ve been speaking with Karth, Jake, Miguel a lot and with Tim and Zach a bit. I’m feeling okay right now as no one seems to want me out and it’s looking like I have possible moves to make, the vote is set on Miguel at the moment but by tonight who knows what could happen. Idols are a big risk as well at this point so while I’m feeling safe im also highly nervous. I’ve been to the most tribals of anyone left in the game I believe so I have learned to expect some sort of drama in the last hour or so before tribal that could change the vote entirely so I’m not totally locked into a vote but I have my ideas, we will have to see what happens

i'm NOT FUCKING SURE what's going on. anyway, here's a recap of the past few days. -- STEPHEN VOTE -- stephen's a king, i love him. however, he handled this round very poorly and that got himself booted 100%. i'm happy he's on jury though i don't think i stand much chance at his vote. let me go off about something: i wanted jake out. i was so close to voting jake because i don't trust that kid really and i knew the perception would be "kato 2.0 5 are STRONG" - which it is currently. i'm WOKE! ally even told me this and it's common sense. HOWEVER, stephen threw my name out and basically threatened me (briefly, vaguely) about voting me out and i don't like that. you do not try to get me to flip by threatening to vote me out. that is not how i operate. so to the people who think we're strong - know that's not the case. i dont want to get cocky, but i think i was a swing in this vote (i could've gotten any combo of karthik, tim, and miguel to vote jake with me, or even tied it alone) but i didn't because stephen decided to throw me UTB and luke decided to be messy. stick to ONE STORY, not nineteen.

-- MERGE -- we  made merge. it was really exciting to reach this stage of the game, as well as jury. at least if i get brutally blindsided ever... i'm getting to vote for a winner!!! that's really all i could ask for at this rate. but now that i've accomplished two of my goals, it's time for the next step: winning. i find this cast to be dry. by that, i mean... not super active until the time is appropriate. now, before i get dragged, i understand - why be super active when you don't have to be. but it's just been boring for the most part and no one's really utilizing the 24 hours of freedom to secure bonds (but neither was i so i can't fully complain). i got to reconnect with people & meet others. jess is great, and i missed her so much. stephen is still the same for me - sketchy but fun. alyssa is one of my favs and within minutes of speaking to her i understand why she is a force to be reckoned with. was there someone else... no. so everyone's great. anyway, alyssa and i made a pact to not target each other due to being known as 'big players' or whatever. she might've been stroking my fatass ego but... it worked.

-- IMMUNITY -- when immunity comes around, people are still staggering when it comes to socializing. some people, however, made deals with me. jess/alyssa/karthik/miguel are all legends. if i forgot someone, rip. anyway, i stayed mostly true to my deals, maybe giving it off 1 point value from where i promised. i know that i can easily win this immunity but i kind of don't care and give alissa the +3 (i thought about giving her -3, which means i win - and that would've been the case).  now, before i get voted out tonight and flamed, ill say that i didnt want to win this immunity and it wouldve made me a bigger threat regardless. immunity results happen, and alyssa/stephen win. that's fine. i wasn't planning on voting one of them out this round.

-- TRIBAL -- i have talked about most of this in my conf chat so i'll just regurgitate it: ally told karthik the vote was miguel (or his name was going around). he told me. stephen told tim same news, tim told me. i think this is a decoy vote. why? because why would you tell everyone the vote, especially given that there is fear from multiple people about the Kato 2.0 alliance staying strong (it's not even alliance. BTW, POST -SEASON -- YOU WILL SEE THAT THERE WASN'T AN ALLIANCE.). am i close to them? yea, most of them, but that's the same with any combo of people who are on the same tribe for a few days/rounds. i tell jess about hearing miguels name, she asks who, i leak tims name. this was a mistake because i dont really trust jess 100% but... anyway. coincidentally, after i do this, stephen comes into my pms. he explains that miguels name has been floating around alongside the rumour of kato 2.0 being strong. this would be smart if i was dumb but it's clearly to save face. i'll credit stephen/co. tho. it's smart. i should want to vote out one of the five to secure myself and make the target fade. but have it be known that i don't see the benefit of tim/miguel/karthik leaving this tribal, especially given my target size. it's just odd. i also realize jess told karthik what she told me - about how the rumour of me/ally/karthik are a tight trio - is going around. she told me she was informing me of this info to 'have my back' but girl told other people too so i aint important LOL. alyssa tells me my name is going out now by stephen, and he allegedly has numbers. these numbers would consist of ally/stephen/luke/alyssa/jess + maybe some kato 2.0. i'm worried now. i don't anticipate jess/alyssa would vote me this soon. ally shouldn't. it'd be dumb bc i can leave at any tribal if you dont let me get to like f5/6. but i can't expect these people to always play to their win-con bc they may think their win-con is something different.

so at the moment, i struggle as im full of confusion and stress once again. maybe i should've won immunity (but also i felt like alyssa couldve beaten me easily so i didn't bother). i think the vote could be me, it makes more sense than the vote being someone like miguel (and everyone knowing said information). ill have to reassess the situation soon, but i may idol tonight. i want to trust that the following people wont vote me: alyssa/jess/karthik/tim/miguel - but can i? idk. if i could have my way, one of jake/luke would leave tonight . or stephen but sisters immune so.

this tribal has been so quiet i hate it

miguel’s name has been kinda drifting around the whole time

luke’s name is coming up a bit now

we officially formed ~the samurais~, which is me stephen luke jess and alyssa

and the 5 of us are gonna try to blindside zach

idk how well this is gonna go but i have my fingers crossed !!!!

i will NOT let these kato 2.0 bitches keep dictating votes on my ALLIES!!!! LEAVE LUKE ALONE!!!!!

Miguel is voted out 5-4-1. He becomes the second member of our jury.

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 9: MY LITTLE GREMLINS AND I ARE FLIPPING THE SCRIPT - DOM

Logan went home and I AM SHOOK. I AM SHOOK TO THE CORE!! I thought he could've used his connections with Luke to save himself but looks like the 4 OG Matterhorn are tight as a rope. Right now Tyler could be in danger because I feel like this challenge is in Max's wheelhouse.

Now my tribe is in a dilemma because we all like each other and we have to vote each other out. Thank the sadistic hosts for that. Now hopefully I win this immunity because I need to be absolutely sure I'm going to merge because ain't no way am I gonna be a pre-merge boot!

Well, the plan worked out and Logan left. It sucks and kinda felt like how I'd imagine kicking a puppy would feel like but I think it's for the best that he's gone, although it does suck that he went through all of this to get the same placement a second time.

From here on out, the only person I put my trust is 100% is Zack, then Tyler and then Luke, which is kind of surprising. But Luke seemed kinda sketchy this round with his connection with Logan so I'll be keeping my eye on him.

I'm nervous about this round since both tribes are going to tribal, but hopefully I'll be good no matter what as Matterhorn still has the advantage on the tribe, and Tyler and Max are the minority. The ideal situation is that someone other than Max wins immunity and then we can take them out because I think it's about time that we end the feud between Zack and Max, and that isn't gonna be done by taking out Zack, at least not on my watch!

UGHHH I am so upset. So Logan was voted out and that is a huge blow for not only my game but for Nick and Ashley Sarah's games as well. Now that he's gone, we have to get a majority some other way. The only way we can do that is if we make sure that Ian is on our side so we can blindside Luke, Tyler, Zack, and Abel. My tribe has to stick together and I'm assuming that Max will be voted out of that tribe bc of the friend group. That is kinda good for me though. HOLY CRAP I JSUT CAME UP WITH SOMETHIGN WHILE TYPING THIS. WHAT IF WE BLINDSIDE BEN? COULD YOU IMAGINE THE CHAOS? THIS WOULD BREAK THE ABEL/BEN FRIENDSHIP F2 AND WOULD GIVE US NUMBERS IN CASE BEN FLIPPED ON US AT THE MERGE. y'all this is my story arch or my elimination episode. i'm hoping it's not the latter of the two. anyways. I came into this game wanting to work with Luke. After tonight? I love you luke but you can fucking choke for what you did to logan. logan deserves so much better and now I'm coming for you. I will not stop until you and your alliance is taken out by none other than THE dom from original Monte Rosa. You can kiss my Puerto Rican ass luke. love you as a person tho you're actually super sweet but you pissed me off. anyways good night america and stay shook canada.

Voting Logan out last tribal was so tough because he's one of my best friends and it sucks so bad but like I said in my voting confessional, it was going to happen at some point. Coming into the double tribal, we really need to do our best to make sure that Max doesn't win individual immunity because he's next on the list to go. If he does win immunity? I have no idea what might happen. I called with Tyler and we talked it through and said that we could probably vote for Abel or Zack but to prevent a tie, I might have to use my vote negator to ensure that rocks aren't pulled and one of us goes home. Tyler and I made a pact to go to the end and we plan on doing that but it's gonna be tough. Looking at a potential merge after these two tribal councils, I predict that the two people that leave in the double will because jury members 1 and 2 but I'm not sure. Merge is going to be difficult with there only being 4 original Matterhorn members (3 if Max wins immunity) so Tyler said he'd protect me as best he can but Tyler doesn't know that I'm actually close with some people over there so I should be okay.

Double tribal and someone will be immune from each tribe!!!! I'm so nervous!!! It would be nice to actually win something for a change. These challenges seem to be either not my greatest or I just don't have time like people here seem to.

EPISODE 9

We were all ready for a merge and to be up 8-4, but SURPRISE! It was a double muthafuckin' tribal. Yikes. The good news was that if I were to survive the double-elimination, I would make it to the top 10 and officially surpass my Tumblr Survivor: Myanmar placement.

Logan was bounced from the other tribe and that came as a MAJOR shock because Tyler and Max were (seemingly) brand new to the OG Matterhorn 4 and furthermore, they had a history of working with Logan on the Trent, Daisy, and Lily votes as far as I knew. And Max is lacking in the possessing a personality department, so I really thought they'd all just be bored do death by them and vote them off. Fortunately, Tyler stuck around and I hope that Tyler manages to survive this double tribal as well.

I discussed Logan's elimination with Nick. Tyler warned me how close the two of them (and Dom as well), so I figured I could get some loyalty points from Nick by eulogizing Logan and bemoaning his tragic loss and how detrimental it is to my game and blah blah blah--we had a good talk, Nick's a really cool dude, and I'm going to need him on my side going forward.

This double tribal does not bode well for me. I'm safe. No one is coming after me. But that's because I'm aligned with everyone (without even trying). It's 100% Parvati's "I'm in such a hot pickle!" situation. Ashley and Ian think that I'm with them (and I am). Dom, Nick, and Benjamin think I'm with them (I'm really with just Dom as far as I'm concerned, but that could change). My ultimate goal is to find a way to get rid of either Benjamin or perhaps Ian this round, preferably the former so as not to sketch out Tyler if he survives this round.

I chatted up Dom first and he took the words right out of my mouth--Ian is sketchy, but Benjamin is a major flight risk going forward. Ben resolved to talk to Nick. I offered to talk to Ashley and she could potentially talk to Ian. We both want the same thing. We both want this vote to be unanimous so that there are no apparent cracks going into a merge at 10 with 4 OG Matterhorns still kicking. That's dangerous territory. When one is in the majority, they need that family as happy and carefree as possible. A 4-2 or 3-3 could ruin lives here. No, thank you. Upon talking with Ashley and Ian, they agreed.

The immunity challenge was finding cows. Really, this was going to come down to who had the most free time available to them and who was the most willing to give up that free time. The answer in this case was Ian (but the real story is--Jesus Christ, Zack! Several thousand cows! I feel like you were safe no matter what and you just put that time in to show...how big of a threat you are? I found that strange) and Ian's safety is a best case scenario for me. The two names swirling around the tribe were Ben for potential connections to the other side and Ian for being a wet blanket in terms of strategy.

Let me take this opportunity while discussing Ian to say that he's been a MAJOR disappointment. Early in the game, he was really sweet and genuine and I loved the guy, but the second we had our first tribal council looming, he became this enigma. He suddenly has no opinions. Talking strategy to him has been very difficult because he brings nothing to the table. Part of me figures that this is because Ian doesn't want any information to come back around and bite him in the ass, but I feel like he's going about it wrong. He's coming across to several people on our tribe as very noncommittal and shifty. When I ask him how he feels about the vote or what he thinks our best move is, he talks in riddles and blah statements and not only is it boring, it's not helpful at all. It's like I'm talking to a dog. I feel like I'm addressing him with clarity and all he hears "Blah Blah Blah, Ginger." Honestly, if Ian hadn't won immunity, I'd have been very tempted to get rid of him this round.

Ian's immunity put Dom and I in a clear driver's seat with Ben's elimination in our sights. We were fine. Ashley was fine. Ian was Ian (but will go along with Ashley and me). Ben thinks everything's hunky dory and Ashley is our only option and such--cool, cool, cool. Then there was Nick. And Dom was telling me Nick is on board because I'm on board, but Nick seemed VERY apprehensive when I spoke to him. Nick clearly wants to vote off Ashley, but is having difficulty with pulling the trigger because he knows voting off Benjamin is best for his game. The whole exchange between Nick and I was so weird because he and Dom were both telling me different things about Nick's perspective at the same time. It was terrifyingly unsettling.

And then I fuck up. Dom & Ben are similar names to me insofar as they're one syllable and three letters and in conversations with both Nick and Dom, I said "Yeah we're all set to vote for Dom" or something like that when I definitely meant "Ben." Oh my God! Such a terrible lapse in language. This is why one shouldn't drink and scheme. The names all start to get loose. Fortunately, I think Nick and Dom believed me (it's the truth, I swear), but holy shit if I were to get voted off just because I did the whole "I Ross take thee Rachel--Emily!" thing. I'm the worst.

New future plan--find some way to eliminate both Ian and Nick while keeping the sane ones, Ashley and Dom happy. Let's make that happen, okay?

So Zack wins individual immunity... *inserts Katya rolling her eyes losing to Alaska in a lip sync for the second time.gif*

Wow! I won immunity so I'm guaranteed F10 wohoo! Honestly if I stayed home yesterday instead of going to the mall I may have even reached the 2k mark alongside Zack. But nah I wasn't gonna waste my last few days of summer vacation finding some damn cow. As Bart Simpson said "Don't have a cow man."

Damn Tyler came in second now I'm so worried for him. This double tribal council guarantees 2 OG Monte Rosa going because over here on Matterhorn we're all OG Monte Rosa and on Monte Rosa the 4 OG Matterhorn will obviously stick together.

Now hosts, you know I love all you and all but for this round I hate you all because we all like each other on our tribe and we have to vote someone out. :( Ugh, can we just all eat some nightlock berries and rebel against these evil hosts.

So far according to Nick, Ben and Ashley's name has been thrown and I'm not gonna let Ashley go, not on my watch! The H4rmony alliance must survive this tribal and my tribe needs to have a united vote so no one is alienated and flips on us.

hiiii!!!! long time no talk!! idek where to begin tbh. so i had like 2 tribals off bc my tribe won immunity?? i was shook bc that was a new feeling in this game to like.. have off and just relax and not worry! but last night, we had a tribal! and logan? went home. that's exactly what i wanted. lemme explain.

i told logan i want max out. (i mean.. i do but i'm not dumb enough to let logan get further then he has already.) so i told logan i'd vote with him, which i did. but i made sure i still had the votes to get logan out. i can't have logan, nick & dom make merge together. i jusy can't, they would be untouchable. but i want logan to think i had nothing to do with his blindside because come merge, i don't want nick & dom coming after me for plotting logan's demise. and it worked. logan believes that i had nothing to do woth his blindside and that it was all luke. so sorry luke, but dom & nick can come after you while i sit back and enjoy my motherfuckin sprite.

SO! this week both tribes are going to tribal. i won immunity so i'm good. (btw my score... i really fucking found over 2,000 cows...) but i want and need max gone now. son of a bitch voted against me last tribal and it openly plotting against me and i don't need someone like that in the merge. so, if i get what i want like usual, max will go. todaloo hoe!

Okay so I hope this vote goes smoothly. Ben thinks that the vote is for Ashley tonight. Little does he know, my little gremlins and I are flipping the script. or so i thought until brett fucked up by saying my name instead of ben's. im still kinda confused as to why that happened but oh well. i love ben so much but like he's going to win the game if no one takes him out lmao. voting ben out is going to screw us all over when we merge though. the other tribe's friend group is like so close with ben (unless abel is voted out tonight idk i could be reading the other tribe completely wrong) I'm hoping that either Luke, Zack, Jev, or Abel go home tonight because we need numbers going into the merge. Ben is too scary to keep around because of the fact that he'd flip to Abel's side. We need to get Abel out as soon as possible because he literally has a winner's edit. He's gone to 7 tribals and has gotten votes at most of them. He needs to go as soon as possible so someone else has a shot at winning.

Lmao Zack found like 2000 cows fucking loser

I'm so nervous, we've all put votes on Max but now I'm scared in case he pulls out an idol and he's the sole vote for me and I leave. He can't vote Zack, so I'm probably next best.

I either beat my previous placement tonight or I do worse than I did last time around, so there's a lot at stake for me personally.