#I WAS WAITING FOR UR FUCKING CHILDREN TO GET CHANGED

[killa-trav]

no cos i knew today was going to be the worst day ever when this lady comes in TEN FUCKING MINUTES before we open DEMANDING we serve her bearing in mind right we’ve had a big delivery come in that we need to sort through first bc shop floor is tiny right

and then we are out of stock of the uniform item she required n she was like oh u should take into consideration those who are late to uniform shopping it’s not right ur out of stock when schools go back next week MFER ITS UR FAULT U HAVE HAD THE WHOLE OF JULY AND AUGUST TO SORT UR SHIT OUT

[sugar-omi]

OMFG DUDE I was thinking abt coves dick again (as one does 🤭) and just realized w the dick size math that cove prolly bought normal condoms before yall went ‘all the way’ bc he didn’t kno he was huge (like u said in that one ramble like “move ur arm” “that’s not my arm”)

so when yall actually get into it and he tries to put it on u just have an awkward moment where he’s like

“it’s too small🧍‍♂️”

and now he’s apologizing for ‘ruining’ ur ‘real’ first time together and ur torn between comforting him that he didn’t ruin shit and laughing bc usually when guys say that it’s a fucking lie but he’s actually so deadass and u can see it the way the rubber doesn’t even accommodate his tip 😭💀

then u gotta tell him it’s okay to hold off until yall get bigger condoms or ur okay going raw if he is 🤭🤭🤭

-🗑️

ARGHH YOU ARE NOT HELPING MY ACCIDENTAL CREAMPIE BRAINROT. "the way the rubber doesnt even accommodate his tip" ohhh god biting my lips off my face rn. i can't fucking....

he would be too scared to go raw, especially first time. he knows that's a demon he's not ready to face (if you ask, he'll say he worried about any accidental children. but deep, deep in his mind. he knows something will, and does, click when you do it raw and he cums in you the first time...)

mmm, there's a few different ways to go with this...

because I can see cove waiting, im sure he does. he does wait, he wants things to be perfect (as perfect as 2 virgins fucking for the first time can be) and for you guys to avoid any unwanted scares or accidents.

but I also love the thought of him being impatient..

he buys the "right" condoms the second time around, and it doesn't look exactly right... but it's definitely not as small as last time...

decides to go with it after a bit of inner turmoil... "..maybe it's meant to fit that way? I thought it was supposed to go all the way to the base, though. its a bit tight, too... fuck, it'd be way too embarrassing to get the size wrong again. not that y/n would bully me about it or something, but... argh, I really want this to be perfect too. and I wanna go all the way with her..."

or even if he buys the right size, perhaps doesn't realize, or chooses the thin condoms since that's what was left. doesn't realize how different the thin ones are, especially of they're the ultra thin.

eitherway, all~~ circles back to right now. he's sinked into you, and he is gentle, he wants your first time to be romantic after all. but as he gets closer n closer to the edge, he gets a bit excited, his hips thrusting deeply into you.. all he can think about is how much he loves you, your pretty sounds, your body pressed against his, and the tight heat of your cunt.

doesn't realize when it breaks, not really anyway. gasps and moans because fuck you feel so hot inside, so wet and perfect... too far gone to think about the sudden change in sensation. and when he finishes, he definitely doesn't think about it. too lost in the feeling of his cum filling up the "condom" and your walls tightening around him as you finish too.

also love the thought that regardless of if he buys the right size or the thin, or if he remembers to pinch the tip of the rubber, all that sweet stuff.. he still ends up cumming inside you. not noticing if he teared the rubber in his hurry to be inside you already (blame teenage hormones, it's not his fault yeah 🙏)

of course not blowing his full load inside you, but i like to think that he cums so much, its really a miracle he doesn't break the rubbers from that amount alone... either way it's gonna leak out, n even just that little bit..

but regardless of how it happens, once he gets past the initial stress of it all n you get past the scare. his mind is totally filled with thoughts of actually coming inside you..

n even his dreams are filled with the image of your cunt all twitchy and wet with fluids n a bit puffy from all the fucking, n having earlier ate you out in the dream, n his fat load of cum leaking out of your cunt...

can't look you in the eye. he's totally ruined... probably can't look his parents in the eye either since he promised to be responsible, but now he's dreaming and fantasizing of doing otherwise..

[leclvrc]

a couple (of besties) ♡ cl x reader

summary: you've been best friends since you were babies so naturally people ship you

requested? yes/no

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, scuderiaferrari and 102.291 others

yourusername incredibly proud of everything this legend achieved this weekend 🙌🏻 I, of course, take most of the credit as his lucky charm but I suppose he's decent behind the wheel 💞

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scuderiaferrari we might have to invite you every weekend from now on 😂

charleslechair his lucky charm....

peargasly HIS! LUCKY! CHARM!

charles_leclerc decent? 🤔

yourusername yes. you know satisfactory. respectable. standard. maybe even above average if I'm generous

charles_leclerc "above average" that one is new

yourusername 🤦‍♀️

smoothoperator FLIRTING??? RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD??

leclercupdates 👀👀👀

pierregasly charles sees a pretty girl and he can drive again!

yourusername whomst are u calling pretty here mr gasly

francisca.cgomes what she said

charles_leclerc you are in trouble mon ami 😂

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, arthur_leclerc and 592.291 others

charles_leclerc dump 🗑

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smoothoperator charles can read?? sounds fake but ok

liked by yourusername, pierregasly

peargasly dunno who I'm more jealous of 😢 the dog or y/n or pierre but I'm VERY jealous

leclerc_ with pierre he serves hostage realness but look at how he looks at y/n in the first pic 😭😭

charlos HOSTAGE REALNESS SJAKJSKAKS

peargasly he looks at y/n like she's the center of his universe I'M SICK

tifosi16 man didn't include a single race pic he's so done 😭

yourusername he's calling us trash AGAIN @.pierregasly

francisca.cgomes is he wrong?

yourusername kika you used to be my favourite 😢

pierregasly ^^

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, arthur_lelcerc, scuderiaferrari and 291.111 others

yourusername some things never change (ft. my best friend ❤)

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peargasly no shut up this is so cuteeee

smoothoperator CHARLES LEANING IN. OK.

leah_leclerc notice how charles isn't even tagged or liked this.. I swear if y'all ruin their friendship 🗡🗡

hamiltvn hashtag just bestie things?

charlito his finger is literally almost in her mouth how are they JUST friends

tifosi16 guys she called them a couple of besties on twitter

gr63 yeah maybe we should stop. maybe she's uncomfortable

pierregasly this is too cute. delete it

yourusername you're just jealous 😁

arthur_lelcerc where was I here?

yourusername you weren't even PLANNED my guy

bigbadwolff she bodied him 💀

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yourusername

liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and 201.291 others

yourusername living like tomorrow doesn't exist 🥂

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hamiltvn SHE'S IN NYC???

charleslechair charles and y/n friendship dead in the water but at least she looks hot 🤕

peargasly SHE'S SO PRETTY LOOK AT HER !!

francisca.cgomes girls night?

yourusername ofc but pierre isn't allowed 😉

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charles_leclerc added to their story

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc nyc dump 🗑💓

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yourusername at least you added a heart this time 😤

charles_leclerc ❤

yourusername yeah yeah I love you too

peargasly KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS

pierregasly finally 🙌🏻🙌🏻

yourusername kika come get ur bf he's annoying 😐

francisca.cgomes we have waited so long y/n 😚

yourusername nvm you both are bad. get out!!

arthur_lelcerc ew 🤢

yourusername children aren't allowed on here

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc

leah_leclerc y'all... were onto something the fuck

leclerc_ I love winning fr

charlos ten bucks he's looking at y/n in 3 and 4

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and 421.191 others

yourusername some things do change (ft. my boyfriend @.charles_leclerc ❤)

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charles_leclerc I like that caption 🙌🏻

yourusername you better bc u were sulking when i called u my best friend when you came to nyc 😤

peargasly HE WAS SULKING 😭

charleslechair man got sick of the friendzone LMAO

francisca.cgomes beautiful couple ❤

yt22 shut up... the childhood pic next to THAT

hamiltvn crying screaming throwing up chewing on glass THEY'RE SO CUTE

smoothoperator they're the embodiment of sometimes you realize later in life what is right in front of u 😭

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc

[seeingivy]

the scouts

roommate eren x f!reader 

eren’s hometown friends have a lot to say. vis a vis you. 

**find the series masterlist here

content warning: galliard slander, irritable bowel syndrome, mikasa don’t gaf, connie and sasha are thieves, lying??, carla yeager being a sunshine, eren being a cheeky little shit, laxatives 

an: alright. feast my children. pls keep ur little memes and drawings and funny comments coming bc I love them (and they incentivize me to write chapters faster so I can seem more of them LOL) - also @togemayo and @rebeccawinters your connie and reiner cameos have ARRIVED, love you da mostest 

previous part linked here

- 

“There’s no way in fucking hell you called me about this. I am a grown man, with a child. I’m above stupid shit like this.” 

“Fuck you, Galliard. Pieck would help me with this, you know that.” 

“Then call her. I’m going to block you.” 

“You don’t think I tried that? I would never willingly talk to you, like ever. Please, Galliard, just tell me what to do.” 

“Twerp, you’re giving him a necklace, not proposing marriage. You’re not going to look desperate if you walk to a fucking soccer field and just to give it to him.” 

“Okay. Are you sure?” 

“I’m hanging up now.” 

“Like really. You’re not just saying that, are you?” 

“Don’t call me unless you’re dying. And even then, you better have tried every other person you know before you ever dial this number again.” 

Static. Fucking asshole hung up on you. 

Eren has a soccer game today. He’d let you know early on in the week that he wouldn’t be here to make breakfast for you on Friday because his family and a few of his hometown friends were coming to watch the game. Apparently, this game was a really big deal - some type of rivalry type thing with another university. 

You weren’t going. Obviously. You had stopped going the second Hitch took your jersey, because it was too embarrassing to think about going now. I mean what are you even supposed to wear now? And what’s the point of going if Eren’s with her and she’s going to be there? 

Yet here you are, waiting in the line outside of the stadium. Everyone around you is decked out - forest green shirts, face paint, streamers - and you can already tell that this game is way more intense than the ones you had been to. In the past, it would be you and maybe five other people in the stands, spread out doing homework. But this game looks like it’s going to be packed. 

All the more reason to do this. 

to jean-boy

you: hey. are you at the game today? 

jean-boy: yeah. on the field with min. they’re all warming up. 

you: i didn’t realize this game would be such a big deal lol. 

jean-boy: yeah. I think everyone’s kind of anxious. eren hasn’t made a single goal all morning and he’s getting more pissed each time he tries 

you: doesn’t help that he left his necklace at home 

jean-boy: the key necklace? did you bring it? 

you: yeah. that’s why im here. i remember he said something about like he always loses games or gets hurt or something when he doesn’t wear it. thought i’d bring it so i don’t have to help him to the toilet when he breaks his legs or smth. 

jean-boy: meet me in the back. ill let you in so you can give it to him. 

You awkwardly wait in the back of the stadium, teetering on your heels as you wait for Jean. You’re just giving him his necklace. It doesn’t mean anything. He won’t know that you like him because you’re just giving him his good luck charm. You’re being a good friend. Anyone in your position would do this. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi Jean.” 

“What are you wearing?” 

You look down, only now paying attention to the outfit that you were wearing. You didn’t think it was that bad - black jeans and a blue cardigan. 

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” 

“You wore the rival's colors.” 

“Okay? Arrest me, Jean.” 

“No, it’s like a thing. You can’t wear the rival's colors. Armin and Eren are going to make you change the second you get on the field.” 

“You guys are so superstitious. It’s just a shirt.” 

He shakes his head as you both walk through the door, pacing across the turf as he sets out to look for Eren. All the players are running on the field, kicking balls in between each other, hitting them into the nets. You spot Eren at the end, his head in his hands as he talks to Armin on the side. 

“Hey. Found him. You can go back, I’ll just give it to him and leave.” 

He nods, leaving your side as you make your way over there. You walk up just in time to catch the end of Armin and Eren’s conversation, your ears burning. You shouldn’t have come. 

“How do you know you love Annie? Because, sometimes I think I love her, Armin.” 

You can pretend like that one didn’t sting. You clear your throat, the two of them turning their backs to look at you. You watch Eren’s eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets as Armin drops the water bottle he was holding, at the sight of you standing there. Armin awkwardly walks away as Eren walks up, his eyes still flashing in shock. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?” 

“How much did you hear?” 

“None of it. Did I miss something important?” 

You see his shoulders relax, pushing out a sigh of relief. First he calls you his best friend and then he can’t even tell you he thinks he might love Hitch?

“Yeah, you almost heard about my murder plot. It all started that fateful day, when I let you move into my apartment.” 

“That was months ago. Surely the opportunity must have presented itself. Knife to the back in the shower…smack me across the head with a frying pan…” 

“I’m playing the long game. You’ll never see it coming.” 

You both laugh, with you rolling your eyes as the silence settles around you too. You can see the stands filling up at your sides, the anticipation building in the stadium. 

“Um so-” 

“What are you wearing, Y/N?”

“We’re not doing this, Eren.” 

“You have to change. Like now.” 

“I’m not walking around in my tank top, Eren. It’s cold. And I’ll leave anyway, I just came to give you this.” 

You hold the key necklace up, dangling it between the two of your faces. You watch his eyes light up as he takes the necklace from your hands. He then cups your face in his hand and presses a kiss to your fucking forehead, before putting his arms around you and spinning you in the air.

“Oh my fucking god, thank you. You brilliant, brilliant girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been missing goals all morning.” 

Your brain is malfunctioning. You’ve literally picked up Eren from parties in the dead of the night and he’s barely even said thank you when you did that. This is all it takes? A fucking necklace and he gives you a forehead kiss? 

He sets you down, still flashing you a bigger than big smile as he latches the necklace on. 

“You’re not missing goals because you weren’t wearing the necklace.” 

“Yes. I was. We’re not having this argument right now, especially when you’re wearing that. I have something you can wear.” 

You hear Armin walk up, holding two jerseys in his hand. 

“Way ahead of you. She can wear mine or yours. Everyone else put their spares in their lockers already.” 

“Mine. Thanks Armin.” 

“Don’t tell me you believe in this too, Armin?” 

“Just put it on. If you don’t, Eren will blame you if the game goes wrong.” 

Armin walks away, leaving the two of you standing again. Eren’s holding the jersey out in front of you, waiting for you to put it on. 

“Full disclosure. I will blame it on you, if we lose kitty.” 

“It’s just a color.” 

“No. No, it’s the principle. Think about it. My girl can’t be wearing the rival colors on our sides of the stands. That’s just a bad omen..like we’re asking to lose the game or something.” 

My girl. 

“I’m leaving, Eren. I just came to give you the necklace.” 

He puts his hands on your waist, spinning you around to turn you towards the stadium, where everyone was sitting. He leaves one hand on there, his other sliding down to your wrist. 

“What are you doing?” 

He lifts your hand up, shaking it in front of the stadium. 

“This isn’t the time for a puppet show, Eren.” 

“Look at the second row, towards the middle.” 

You squint your eyes, scanning the entire row. And then you fucking see it. Eren’s parents and his brother. He’s making you wave at them. And they’re doing it back, nearly jumping to return the gesture.

“Eren.” 

He spins you back around and he fucking smirks at you. 

“You waved at them. Now, they’re going to expect you to go sit with them. For the entire game, mind you. Meaning you’re staying, so you should put it on.” 

Asshole. 

“Unless you want to leave my mom hanging?” 

“Give me the jersey, Eren.” 

He flashes you a winning smile, clearly delighted with his victory. You unbutton the ends of the cardigan, slipping it off and switching it with Eren’s jersey. He reaches forward, pulling out the ends of your hair that were tucked into the jersey as you smooth it against your clothes. 

“So.” 

“So.” 

“Win your game or whatever. Without the help of your stupid necklace.” 

“Planning on it, peaches. Necklace and all.” 

He pokes the side of your cheek and flashes you one last smile as he runs back onto the field, right in front of the goal. You watch as he centers the ball in front of him, kicking it into the net on the first try. He turns to the side, pointing at you after making the goal, as he mouths four words.

I told you so. 

- 

You tap Zeke on the shoulder, the three of them turning their heads towards you. 

“Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?” 

The three of them jump up - Grisha shaking your hand very excitedly, Zeke crushing you in a hug, and Carla cupping your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on both of your cheeks. 

So this is where Eren gets it from. 

“We’re so excited you came, sweet girl. We were hoping you would find your way over here when we saw you on the field.” 

You nod, Carla squeezing your hands in hers (another thing Eren gets from her, you’re sure of it). You settle in the seat next to Zeke, brushing your sweaty palms against the ends of your pants. You can see the game is starting as they all take their places on the field, Eren giving the four of you one last wave. You look at the group of people seated directly to your right, the four of them waving back at him too. 

And then you remember. Eren’s hometown friends came down to watch his game. 

You take in the sight of the four of them. You can recognize the girl at the end, farthest from you. Mikasa - Eren’s childhood best friend, the two of them and Armin were inseparable. The two in the middle you recognize as well, from the polaroid that Eren had in his wallet. They’re both arguing with each other - with him pulling her hair and her elbowing him in the sides. The fourth boy is entirely unrecognizable to you - broad shoulders, short, messy blonde hair. 

You tap him on the shoulder. 

“Hi. You’re one of Eren’s hometown friends, right? My name is Y/N. I’m his roommate.” 

At the sound of this, the four of them turn their heads, turning to face you. 

“His roommate? Since when?” 

“Yeah. We’ve been living together since the start of the semester.” 

“Reiner, there’s no way in hell right? He kept going on and on about how he was going to finally have a bachelor pad this semester.” 

“There’s no fucking way. He literally hated having a roommate. Remember when he threw up on Samuel’s bed on purpose when he was drunk?” 

Mental note, Reiner’s the one with the blonde hair. The three of them turn their heads towards Mikasa, who's still watching the game. You’re not sure when she showed up, but Annie’s sitting at her side - the two of them linking their arms together as they sit. Right. She must already know Mikasa since her and Armin have been dating for a while. 

“Mikasa. Did you know about this?” 

“He may have mentioned it once or twice to me, Connie.” 

Buzzed hair is Connie. Connie and the girl in the middle open up the space between them, gesturing for the two of you to sit between them. You don’t miss the look they give each other as you sit down, the two of them smiling deviously. 

“I’m Sasha.” 

“And I’m Connie.” 

“It’s nice to meet you guys, really.” 

They both smile, linking their arms with yours as they start staring at you more intently. 

“Say. Do you mind answering a few questions for us?” 

“Sure.” 

“How did Eren become your roommate?” 

“I kind of had these sucky roommates last semester. They kind of didn’t mention that they didn’t want to room with me anymore so I kind of switched around at staying at my friends place while I tried to look for an apartment. I couldn’t find one after a week and I met Eren at Armin’s and he offered.” 

You watch the three of them, Reiner leaning over now, widening their eyes at you. 

“He offered? To house you, a woman, another person, in his apartment, willingly?” 

“I mean, I think so? I think he might have felt bad or something. I’m not really sure why he did it.” 

“I might have an idea.” 

At Reiner’s comment, the three of them start giggling, like they’re all in on some joke you’re not quite sure of. 

“Do you like Taylor Swift, Y/N?” 

“I do, Connie. Is it that obvious?” 

You feel Connie shaking your arm, nearly jumping out of his seat. 

“Me too. What’s your favorite album? Favorite song? Folklore or Evermore?” 

“Probably, Reputation. For the song, I think maybe Sweet Nothing? And definitely Evermore over here.” 

Reiner reaches over and smacks Connie on the back of the neck, mentioning he was getting off track. Off track of what? 

“Say. Have you ever…played Taylor Swift for Eren or something?” 

“Um, not exactly playing it for him but I kind of have a tendency to sing in the shower sometimes. But also, he did willingly watch the Reputation Stadium Tour without me prompting him to, so I think it’s growing on him.” 

At this, Connie and Sasha lean over, their faces a few feet from yours. 

“I fucking knew it. That playlist is about you.” 

“What playlist?” 

You watch Reiner pull out his phone, opening out his Spotify app. The three of them are still smirking - the same way Eren did when he trapped you into staying at the game. 

He hands you Eren’s Spotify profile, with exactly one playlist on it, called peaches. The picture is the one from when you and Eren went to see Kenny in the city, only your hands in view as you pet the cat the two of you saw on the street. 

You scroll through the playlist, with well over a hundred songs - most of them being Taylor Swift. They are organized by album, a few songs picked out from each one. Meaning, Eren went through each album and picked out the songs that he liked. Just because you said you liked Taylor Swift. I mean, it did have to be about you. It is called peaches. 

“So. Is it about you?” 

“Uh, yeah. I think so, Connie. Those are my hands. And he calls me peaches, because of my shampoo.” 

Mikasa leans over, interjecting in the conversation. 

“Did he make you switch it? The shampoo?” 

“Uh, no. I think he likes it?” 

“Hm.” 

Mikasa leans back, sharing a look with Sasha. 

“Is that a big deal or something, Connie?” 

“Kind of. Eren got really bad food poisoning from some peach flavored concoction Reiner made him once in high school. The smell makes him want to like vomit.” 

“It wasn’t a concoction, it was a protein shake. How was I supposed to know that dragon fruit was basically a laxative?” 

“We all told you. Like six times.” the three of them respond, rolling their eyes. 

Sasha and Connie unlink their arms from yours, turning their attention back to the game. The four of them interject once in a while, lost in their own conversations, but your head is still buzzing from the one that you had with them. 

Eren has a playlist. That he made for you. He spent hours probably - listening to each song, picking out the ones he liked. 

“Say. Did Eren ever mention us?” 

“Hm. Well, I knew about Mikasa - Armin and Eren have both mentioned her. And I’ve seen a picture of the two of you before, Eren has one in his wallet. But no Reiner, never mentioned you.” 

“We have his wallet.” 

Reiner taps Zeke on the shoulder and pockets the wallet from him. Sasha and Connie reach over, pulling out the dollar bills first - equally dividing the cash between the five of you and stuffing her share in her pocket - before returing it to Reiner, who pulls out both polaroids. 

This is when you realize your mistake. Because the polaroid of you kissing his cheek is still in his fucking wallet. You watch Reiner pull it out and hold it out in front of Connie and Sasha, the two of them shaking you in their arms as they all scream in your ears. 

“You guys are so cute! We fucking knew it. When did you start dating?” 

At the sound of that, you see Carla turn her head out of the corner of her eyes, slightly shuffling over to see what you two are talking about. And then your mistake gets even worse. Because then Carla runs over, kissing you twice on the cheeks again and literally bursting out of happiness at the news. 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you two. I knew something was going on. And I even told Eren, he better get a move on because a girl like you doesn’t stay single for long.” 

“You would be shocked, Mrs.Yeager.” 

She takes her hands into yours, squeezing twice again. Fucking Yeagers and their hand squeezing. It’s almost impossible not to like them. 

“Take care of our boy, okay?. He’s really sensitive and emotional, which I’m sure you know already but he means well. Really. And let him take care of you too. He’s told me that you’re a little bit more closed off at times, but he would never hurt you. He cares about you, so so much. It’s you two, on the same side, always.” 

And you can’t do it. You can’t tell her the truth because…she’s just so excited. So happy for the two of you. The way she’s holding your hands in hers, kissing your cheeks, doting over you. She’s so excited that it’s you. You don’t want to be the one to tell her that her son has no interest in you. 

So you don’t. 

“I will. Take care of him, I mean.” 

She smiles widely again, crushing you in your arms as he gives you another hug. 

Now you have to find Eren. And tell him that you just told your mom that the two of you are dating. 

-  

You find him at half-time, outside the locker room. He’s lying on the bench with two of his teammates, ice packs pressed to each of his foreheads. 

“Ren?” 

He immediately sits up at the sound of your voice, pulling the ice pack off his head as he stands up. He gestures towards the walkway, the two of you walking back down to the stadium. 

“Everything okay, kitty?” 

“Uh. I might have messed up.” 

He stops, turning to face you. 

“What did you do?” 

“Promise you won’t be mad, Ren?” 

“I could never be mad at you. You know that.” 

Right. Okay. Just tell him. That’s when you start rambling. 

“Well. I met your friends - they’re really nice. Connie and Sasha stole some of your money, though. And Reiner was basically telling me about how he gave you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with a peach smoothie he made you, which is weird because you call me peaches but they were insisting that you hate them. Right, so I told them that you keep a polaroid of them in your wallet - because it’s so cute and I would want to know if I was them -  and then they pulled your wallet out and the other polaroid was still in there. And then your mom saw and she was just being so…so sweet that I didn’t have the heart to tell her we weren’t really together.” 

He’s staring you down. Green eyes, forehead scrunched up, lips in a straight line. Stop paying attention to his fucking lips. 

“So. Let me get this straight. You told my mom that…we were dating?” 

“Yes.”

“That’s it?” 

“What? 

“I thought you killed someone or something. That’s not a big deal.” 

“How is that not a big deal? I just lied to your mother. And told her that we were dating.” 

“Yeah. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position. She probably gave you that whole lecture right, about how we need to take care of each other, how I’m all sensitive and emotional?” 

You’ve got to be kidding me. 

“Yeah. How’d you know? 

“She gave me the same one after she met you. Even I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t dating you. I just told her I liked you, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Okay. I was like freaking out about it.” 

He locks his fingers with yours, squeezing twice as the two of you continue to slowly walk. 

“It’s okay. I’ll deal with her. She just really likes you, that’s all. They all do.” 

“Okay. You sure it’s okay? You’re not secretly mad at me right?” 

He looks over, giving you a lopsided grin, the one that makes your heart skip a beat. 

“Really, kitty. I could never be mad at you. And I know you. There’s nothing nefarious going on up here.” 

He takes his fingers, tapping on your forehead. 

“How do you know? This could all be a part of my secret plot to be the new Mrs. Yeager.” 

“Bullshit.” 

You nudge into him, making him stumble to the side as you both make it to the front of the stadium. 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because. You wouldn’t need a secret plot if that’s what you wanted.” 

He taps the end of your nose before lifting the bar to run back on the field to finish the game, leaving you more confused than when you arrived here.

Stupid Galliard. He always gives terrible advice. 

- 

next chapter linked here

taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds @katestrophes @amourely @6sakusa @miralbdo @k0z3me @celiniverse @txminie-blog @erenspersonalwh0re @s0f14sbs @violetmatcha @sweetenertea @wheredidmycrowngo @serendippindots @intimacywithceline @alonemoth @l0v31yw0r1d @meowmeowmau @miasthoughtsdotcom @lia-sstuff @sad-darksoul @bsenpai @getfckdd @twistedchild808 @conniesbbymama @tysynn @smokeyfuzz @faejvst @str4wberrylover @cutiejg @studywithrosie01 @princess-ackerman @mxnst3rz @dryxspecialist66 @uenovv @theyloveniqueeeee @sk1nn1p3nn1s @kz-luvs-you 

[sillyyuserr]

Chapter 117 analysis (WE’RE SO BACK) obviously spoilers for chapter 117 and chapter 114

i cooked with this one trust

Everyones looking for them yadayadayada terukane

Yk im pretty sure this is meant to be lore heavy but LOOK AT THEM

I don’t know how to word this correctly but since chapter 115/116 between akane and teru there seems to have been something that happened in which they stopped being freaky?? 😭 like ykwim hold on

in chapter 114 this happened

completely ruined almost everything they had, but in the span of a few days, shit still going on, they havent had their deserved break yet like they got on chapter 96-97 and somehow in the midst of all this teru’s forgiven(?) him and just moved on?? Really not sure but based on what we know ab the red house the next chapter may answer some of our questions

Also, this is so little i didn’t see it the first time reading but teru goes to the drink machine thing to get one and mixes like 4 of the sodas,

takes one sip decides its shit and switches with akane’s already half drunken out of tea. Indirect kiss guys wait

Also this is JUST like the date they all went on when aoi was gone. Again, aoi is gone here too 😭 my girl getting left out of everything is acc crazy

She comes in later tho and finally gets caught up for the first time in forever MAN aidairo must hate her😭

But also

We find out mitsuba and kou are going there TOO so for the first time i think ever we have the whole gang in one spot 🤥 alot of firsts this chapter smh

ALSO an honorable mention to this i saved best for last

Sir stay away from my children

ok but fr i have no fucking clue what to say ab this cus this is either ‘teehee im right ur wrong!!~~♡’ type shit which he does alot, or genuinely like what we all think it is, which considering outside context may, in fact make it make sense trust let me explain

teru says shit like this ALL THE TIME its kind of his ACTUAL personality aside from his fake shit, like the way he is only around akane and sometimes kou (at least what we’re shown) so you’d think he’s used to this, but his initial reaction is more of a ‘um. what.’

ALSO— backround MATTERS, the backround in this one, is pure black, which is only shown during stuff LIKE THIS (important stuff) example:

Black background either means its dark, or its something important, something meant to be remembered, or something like that (probably)

and that panel had a BLACK BACKROUND

Why is this important you may be asking, it has a black backround— so it must be, right? If this was a silly little ‘teehee you can’t do this im better than youuu!!!~~♡’ then it probably wouldnt even have a half panel it’d be another one of the mini panels, but it not only had a whole panel for just this, a black background ;blocking LITERALLY EVERYTHING OUT ASIDE FROM THIS AND WHAT HE’S SAID, but also, pay attention the contents of what he said.

(a different translation, this one is easier to read)

‘you are not in any position to oppose me, are you, aoi? ♡’ could mean, A LOT OF THINGS so i’ll put them in a bulletin here because any of them make for an interesting path we may be taking on ‘this’ reality😭😓

Number 1: he could be impliying, and or reminding akane, that he’s still engaged to aoi, and that if akane still thinks they shouldnt change this reality, he should reconsider, CONSIDERING he is engaged to aoi, as aforementioned. (Most likely this one)

Number 2: the power dynamic, yes akane is a school mystery with the ability to control time itself but also, teru is an exorcist, a skilled one at that— and could probably easily overpower akane in a 1v1 (lowk hyped to see this happen pls let them fight) teru may be poking fun, or reminding akane, that teru is in fact powerful, more than he seems to keep fresh on his mind — them having SO MUCH to do

Number 3: maybe instead he just felt like teasing akane and i wasted time+space for nothing and was looking way too into it (this is supposed to be the terukane option😪)

Never once has he used this before??? Obviously you cant talk in symbols but the heart kind of implies the user of this symbol is talking in a playful/slightly flirtatious tone, hence, the reaction:

Okay okay point is i think teru is still madly in love with him

WAAAHHHH just look at him pooks who else does he do this with smhh 😓 NO ONE

which i think may be PARTIALLY true but also not entirely because mayb im just a tweaker

Me when i when i ehen you whrn you when

This may make no sense at all, or alot of sense man idk its 3:12am i go back to school in like 2 weeks i am not ready for sophomore year gn

terukane will be real one day trust🤍🤍

[milkyst4rs]

Hi hi! Can i request diluc childe and thoma (seperate) with reader thats gentle and dosent get mad easily but whenver theyre alone they curse like a sailor over anything that made reader pissed off. Reader dosent like showing theyre anger so they release theyre anger alone and got caught by them one day (maybe even caught violently stabbing raw chicken and vegetables while making dinner hahshs)

(Sorry this was long)

You good?

diluc, childe, thoma x gn reader. crackfic

thanku for ur request! Hope u like it🫶🏽 Thomas one is so fluffy☠️ can yall tell i love him

Diluc

Flowery, angelic, soft. Those were the 3 descriptors diluc would often tell people when they would enquire about you, his s/o. You were like a saint, always understanding, talking to the children of the town, picking flowers for him everyday.

So why were you angrily cursing at a pile of burnt cookies in the kitchen?

Diluc had just gotten home from his nightly batman duties and was concerned when you didn't reply to his usual, "I'm home, dear."

He heard a commotion in the kitchen.

"I swear on the 7 fucking archons, if this next batch of cookies doesn't turn out perfect I will actually kill someone."

Diluc's eyes widened. What was going on in there? He had to see if everything was alright. He slid the door to the kitchen open.

"Dear? Is everything oka-"

"holy shit- oh hey honey! Welcome home! How was your day, love?"

Momentarily ignoring your change in vocabulary, he took a scan throughout the kitchen. A burnt mountain of chocolate chip cookies stood there on the counter.

"I, uh. I see that you're baking cookies..."

"Mhm! I got a little bored, all the ingredients I needed were all here so I thought of making something sweet for you!"

"I see, thank you darling. It seems like you're having...some trouble? I've never heard you so frustrated dear, though I must say it is quite amusing."

He said chuckling, he walked over to the burnt cookies and took out a...cheese grater? He walked back to you and pushed the cookies and grater toward you, was he expecting you to do something with this orrrr?

"Adelinde taught me this trick, if you have burnt your cookies, just grate the charred sides and it will look and taste perfect."

"Shit, really? Thanks love!"

He has no clue how your choice of words can go from vulgar to sweet and loving, but he finds it kinda hot.

Childe

You and childe were polar opposites. He was a bloodthirsty son of a bitch and you were caring and nurturing, against violence and hate.

The people of Snezhnaya have no clue how the two of you got together but hey, it seems like it's working out well.

Whenever you and your boyfriend would go out for dates, people would hesitantly greet the two of you so they don't get put on the Fatui's hit list. You noticed this, however, and decided to tell people that you aren't going to hurt or put in a bad word about them. After awhile, everyone was happy to see you waltz into their shop, taking a look around and initiating small talk.

Today, you had asked childe to help you with physical combat, he gladly accepted of course.

He brought you to his usual practice area so he could teach you tricks on a dummy. Practice went well, you managed to build up stamina and strength in your arms.

"Phew! You learn quick babe! Let's take a break, wait here I'll go get us some drinks."

He pressed a kiss on your forehead and walked out of the practice grounds. You decided to practice a little more while waiting for him.

You were fired up. Landing hits and punches on the dummy like it was your worst enemy.

"Fuckin' bitch."

A kick to the head.

"Argh! Yeah that's right, cry little fucker!"

A punch to the jaw.

This was fun! It's a great stress reliever too.

While you were cursing at the poor dummy, unbeknownst to you, your lovely boyfriend was standing behind a wall giggling at your vulgar choice of words.

He had come back 3 minutes ago, no harm in watching his precious s/o completely obliterate his training dummy right?

"I didn't know you were such a fighter [name]! You can land hits physically and mentally, very impressive sweets."

You flushed the moment you saw childe walk to you.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this. I was in the zone."

Childe chuckled and passed you your drink,

"Ok ok! You're really cute when you get all fired up ya' know?"

Thoma

Ah my sweet sweet boy. He thought he knew everything about you, that you two were made for eachother. Imagine his shock when he sees you repeatedly stabbing a boiled chicken while cursing at it.

Where did the soft and loving [name] go? Is the chicken okay? (Obviously not since it's boiled but thoma is too concerned to think logically.) He remembered you saying that you'd be the one making dinner today, he's never seen this kind of cooking method before. Ah! Maybe you're using a technique from...what's his name? Gordon Rambly? Corden Ramsly?

He jumped out his thoughts and rushed to your side, worried that you might stab your hand accidentally.

"[name]! What's going on?? Are you alright?"

"Oh! Thoma! Thank the archons, please help me. This dumb crusty ass of a chicken won't cook properly! I've been trying to make it nice and tender but IT KEEPS. GETTING. STIFF."

Thoma's eyes went wide as frisbees.

"Ah! [name], mind your language! People can hear you! And, the water has got to boil on medium heat, you set it way to high!"

"I DID SET IT ON THE STUPID MEDIUM HEAT THINGY. IT'S THE FUCKING CHICKENS FAULT!"

"Shh! Okok, come here. Calm down.."

He pulled you in for a warm hug, immediately your mind went blank at your anger dissipated. You felt him press a kiss to the crown of your head and you blushed.

"Sorry, I've just been a little irritated today.."

He laughed and held you closer.

"It's ok love. Come on, let's make dinner together!"

"But I wanted to make this awesome meal for you so you could relax...now you have to do all this. Sorry.."

He lifted your chin with his thumb and index finger, his gaze soft and loving.

"I am always at peace when I'm with you, love. No matter how mad you get."

He mumbled the last part but you heard it and giggled, leaving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

[habizuh-studios]

every single fic that you’ve ever written in order from ur personal fav to least fav?

i spent way too long on this help... also this is subject to change and based on what i feel soo yk (top -> bottom = most fav -> least fav)

How Can I Protect You, When I Don't Feel Alright? (TGCF)

Feng Xin goes on a mission sent by His Majesty, himself. It is expected to be top priority and dangerous. But what he doesn't expect is the hallucinations, the intrusive thoughts, the blood, the- OR: How Feng Xin received Fengshen.

I'm at My Highest Peak (TGCF)

"Did you know? General Nan Yang, the martial god of the Southeast, ascended via pure martial might! He didn't cultivate at all, no. He slayed the children-eating beast who lurked in Zhubei forest!" OR: Feng Xin ascends.

No Longer Alone (TGCF)

“Banyue,” a gentle voice above her says, “Banyue, it’s okay. You're safe. You’re here. It’s okay.” And still, she lets out a sob. But she is not a sad child- how could she be, with General Hua beside her? OR: General Hua and Banyue fluff and comfort for the soul...

I've Held My Heart Close All These Years (TGCF)

Since the day he woke up here and again, and again, and again, he has never felt happiness. Until there is a light, and he's set free. A word rings in his head: Ascension. Out of the coffin after ninety-six years, however, can change a lot. Especially if there were countless people to see it. OR: Xie Lian ascends from the coffin and chaos ensues :)

To Bring Back the Flame (TGCF)

Mu Qing is a fucking traitor. A selfish, uncaring motherfucker who can't afford to love the same way Feng Xin does. Or at least he thinks so, until when he blows up and takes a step, he's met with someone different. OR: Book 4! Feng Xin travels to the future.

It's Colder on Your Own (GENSHIN IMPACT)

There are days when the blank pages aren’t a source of inspiration or a canvas to be painted, but rather a representation of him. He draws a line but it’s not right, he stares at the blank page for hours and nothing comes to mind besides a vague idea and an aching wrist. He will erase, draw, and erase again, because nothing looks right, and eventually, he’ll rip the page and throw it away like the rest. So he lays down in his room, aching. Until Alhaitham walks in. OR: Hurt/Comfort with Haikaveh!!

Call if if Our Time is Through (TGCF)

On a mission from Hua Cheng, Yin Yu gets cursed to live in a time loop from a vengeful ghost. That would've been fine... if only Quan Yizhen hadn't gotten involved. OR: Yin Yu has to see Quan Yizhen die, over and over again.

Had I the Heavens' Embroidered Cloths (GENSHIN IMPACT)

Kaveh thinks that if he had the power, he could do more. But he doesn't. OR: A fic based on the poem "He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven" by W. B. Yeats!!

Can't Stop Thinking of You (TGCF)

Feng Xin thinks of His Highness, because even after all of these years, he remembers- and ends up coming to a few realizations. OR: Feng Xin's first love.

Though You Embrace it, I Can't Face It (TGCF)

I love him, Feng Xin thinks one day as he stares at the ceiling of his apartment, thinking about his roommate. It’s no surprise that when Feng Xin shoots up, feeling his lungs constrict and grow weak as he shakes with coughs, that a singular flower petal comes out onto his hand. He stares at it. Because, despite the implications, despite how he is willing to die and could die from the pure, unbridled love he holds within his chest, Feng Xin knows that Mu Qing will never love him back. OR: Modern!AU in which Feng Xin has hanahaki.

My World is Bright (TGCF)

Pei Xiu doesn't hold too much respect or adoration for the gods in Heaven. One of the few exceptions is Lang Qianqiu, who is bright, heroic, competent, brave, noble, and handsome. Although Pei Xiu sometimes wishes he could kiss the worried expression off his face- wait. What? OR: The QianXiu fluff fic that someone asked for! :)

Take Care of Me (TGCF)

Feng Xin is not sick. And if he is, it doesn't matter! Mu Qing doesn't know what he's talking about at all! OR: Feng Xin is most definitely sick, don't listen to him. Oh, and Mu Qing takes care of him.

It's Easier to Sleep When it's Warm (TGCF)

Mu Qing tries pulling an all-nighter, but fails and falls asleep at around two in the morning. Luckily, Feng Xin is also awake, and wraps a blanket over his shoulders. Mu Qing looks so at peace... he wishes the man could look like this more often. OR: Medical Student! Mu Qing falls asleep, and Feng Xin puts a blanket over him :)

Revenge is Sweet, Literally (TGCF)

He Xuan had been writing in his diary. He was still planning the perfect revenge plot for the Shi brothers. He’s considered murder more times than not, but something is stopping him. Whether it be fate or Hua Cheng's nagging (he only said it once, but still), he considered other options. With the knowledge that Shi Qingxuan knows nothing of the fate swap, he doesn’t have anything better to do. Then Hua Cheng called him via the spiritual communication array. Zoning back in, He Xuan hears Hua Cheng say something that he normally wouldn’t care for. “... Of course, I wouldn’t dare defile His Highness, but to think…” He Xuan doesn’t care for that- Heaven, he doesn’t even know the context or what he says after, but he suddenly stands up and slams his hands on the table so hard that his bonefish look back at him. And then, he writes. OR: He Xuan, after some thinking, comes up with the perfect revenge plan to anger Shi Wudu.

What Suits You Best (TGCF)

Xie Lian has always had a soft spot for weaponry and martial arts, even at the age of thirteen. Which is why it's only natural that he decides which weapon best suits his bodyguard, Feng Xin! OR: How Feng Xin figured out that archery was his strong suit.

How You Make Me Sway (The Outsiders)

I was bored out of my mind, and there was nothing to do in the church. Unless you count for the radio in the corner. I turned it on, not expecting a slow song to play. Of course, when Johnny extended a hand out towards me, I didn’t think he’d say, “Wanna dance, Pony?” OR: In which the boys are bored at the church and Ponyboy decides to dance with Johnny. :) ... Chapter 1 can be read as a one-shot, chapter 2 is a bonus chapter.

Under the Moon Where Blood Spread (The Outsiders)

Darry wasted no time, throwing open the front door. “Ponyboy, please! I didn’t mean to!” Soda looked back at him, snapping out of his trance. “Darry, are we gonna run after him?” He asked. In another universe, Darry would have shook his head- after all, Ponyboy was a track star. He could run hard and fast- no one would be able to catch up, and no one in their right mind would attempt to try. But Darry was not in his right mind. OR: In which Darry runs after Ponyboy when he slaps him.

Delineating Danger (The Outsiders)

Ponyboy likes to draw Dally when he's in a "dangerous" mood. OR: In the book it mentions that Ponyboy likes drawing Dally in a dangerous mood, and I thought, huh. What would that be like? Which was also strengthened by this random Tumblr post I found wondering the exact same thing..! Though there will be multiple chapters, you can read this as a one-shot if you want.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 22 thoughts

i watched this episode in its intended setting: high on painkillers post surgery and holding an ice pack to my aching jaw. i think dana scully would be proud.

the first thing i thought was man, our duo has to deal with ANOTHER child. someone give them a raise.

the kid allegedly threw a cop out the window and killed him, to which scully says "you don't really think the kid had anything to do with it, do you?" which i think is a feasible conclusion to be drawn based on physical strength, but we also must remember that mere weeks? months? ago, 2 evil children tried to poison them so. never let ur guard down, agents.

mulder is trying to get a visual on the guy the little girl claims she saw and gives the guy a funny mustache to get her to laugh. to this i wrote "ohhhh fuck me" (stated as an expression of empathy, not literally. for now.)

he just wanted to make her smile and she did. and then she physically changed the screen to show the mystery man's actual mustache but come on. that was on the back of my mind here. mulder just wanted to make the little girl laugh.

(getting flashbacks to him letting the previous little girl hand the cashier the money for their soda. he is once again shifting into Protective Mode, this time trying to make a little kid caught in a tragedy feel normal. is it his psychological training or the innate big brother instincts? i will be analyzing this. he is the big brother in his family, right? that explains a lot)

scully was asking the girl's mom questions and the mom was like "she's scary and has no friends and we can't get her to go near water" but i was actually just admiring how beautiful scully was in this scene. sorry about ur daughter ma'am but have you seen the agent you're talking to? highly distracting

then mulder goes to leave but scully says "wait we have an autopsy at 7 :(" and i think this is sosososo funny because the last time "they" did an autopsy (scully doing the work, mulder trying not to gag) he looked like he was going to pass tf out. so him having a very convenient excuse to dip and visit the girl's psychologist must have felt amazing.

(but how sweet was it that she still wanted him there?)

((he tells her to look for electrocution from psychokinesis, though))

mulder asks the girl's psychologist, in all seriousness, if she's witnessed the little girl do any sort of psychic behavior and he has SUCH a straight face. she gets annoyed and leaves. mulder, the world isn't ready for your level of honesty, but i am and i appreciate it.

scully was then all scrubbed up, back in her autopsy era, talking to a recording machine and one of the cops burst in and asks "can i talk to you for a second?" scully is thrown off and says "i just started the autopsy" but the cop says "i don't think he's going anywhere" lmaoooo. i mean sure. guess that's true!

they think the guy the girl saw was another cop who died 9 years ago in a gang related bust... AND GET THIS! the little girl disfigures her dolls in the same way the dude died. fucked up tbh. weird seeing mulder with a doll on his desk but that's part of the job for a man like him.

new awful way to die just dropped: having ur scarf caught in the door of a moving bus. while a child stares at you. again, fucked up.

it seems that all the people who are dying were related to this drug bust a while ago... much to ponder...

they make a visit to the last living cop from the case's house and mulder stares at his fish tank for a while which i thought was lovely. i bet he does love tropical fish. this became relevant to the case later due to what tv writers refer to as "foreshadowing" but in the moment i really enjoyed his dedication to watching them swim about.

mulder immediately decides this girl is the cop that died 9 years ago reincarnated (which he seems to thinks occurs when a child is conceived the same time someone dies which. well. need to unpack that worldview at a later date)

"it's not so farfetched scully, reincarnation is a basic tenant of many religions!" <- said by a man who is a Nerd

(i say this lovingly as i also study belief systems. i'm expressing solidarity here. nerds need to have that in this world)

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!!!! scully's all, even if we DO get this child to go back into her past life with hypnosis, will the court take that as evidence? gagged him a little there tbh

(mulder's relationship to hypnosis is also fascinating. he seems to think that since it helped him find his missing memories with his sister, of course this little girl can go back into her past life using the same stuff! he doesn't seem very concerned about her screaming for her life, though, again complicating my view on if mulder is actually good with kids. because i would be like aww damn, she's screaming that she's dying, is that normal? he was just tuned in. it seems he is good at interacting with them, but unclear on if there's a level of real concern there or just a need to get to the bottom of the class. i will move forward in gathering evidence to support finding the Truth)

one of my favorite parts of this show is when scully recites some medical lore. like yeah he was drowned in sea water because of the stuff in his lungs or whatever. sooo cool babe how u just know that <3

turns out the cop that died 9 years ago was drowned in this other guy's fish tank!!! awful way to go. no need to get the fish involved.

the girl breaks into the only surviving cop from the incident's house and leaves threatening origami and starts blowing stuff up with her mind which is a standard evening around these parts

to get in the house mulder elbows through a window which OUCH! had to hurt. he then tries to talk some sense into a little girl who is about to kill her past life's murderer. she's 3 kills deep already idk what he thinks he's gonna do here.

BUT! she doesn't kill the guy! she just blows up his fish tank instead which was honestly sadder. rip those fish. and she walks away and then turns into a normal child and even starts swimming lessons!

mulder wraps up the case for the episode and it fades to black with a very confused expression on his face. i wrote "he's pondering at their splashing about".

a good episode! i like that scully got to see all the paranormal happenings going on, which usually she manages to miss. mulder is a believer in reincarnation, at least in some cases, so that information we can add to his psychological profile. need to know which course they took at the academy that was "dealing with very creepy children in stressful situations" because maybe we could all apply that into our life.

[fedorah-the-explorah]

fan fiction ideaaaaaaaaaa! ❤️

Shadowsan has to trust chief with his life during a caper, and Carmen knows that it’s like the only way to save some sort of artifact or something like that, but she doesn’t trust chief whatsoever, due to the trauma that cheif did kill Carmen’s biological father, so Carm is like super scared and worried for Dadowsan.

I just thought it was a good idea, something that could be used later on for you, but it’s like your choice if you actually want chief to make a mistake and then something happens to shadowsan, and then Carmen is like super pissed…….like dangerously pissed………but it’s totally up to you if you want to make it a happy ending or a sad ending lol 😘😘😘

your amazing and tysm for all you do for this fandom, your pretty awesome and I see ur stuff all the time, you are a writing genius pretty much lolll ❤️

Omg stop it, I'll cry right now-- that was such a kind thing to say about my writing. It really made my day ❤️

Anyways, here ya go! It's not very long and I'm not sure it's quite what you had in mind, but I'm happy with it. This takes place post series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was a light stepper, but that's never meant much to him. He raised her from infancy; he knew her presence well.

"Are you going to lurk there all day," he asked, "Or are you going to say hello?"

He turned around, abandoning the task of polishing his newly--and legally-- acquired swords. Carmen glanced at him wordlessly, contributing nothing. She was sullen as stared down at the hotel room's desk, absently running her fingers along the surface. Her lips were slightly pursed and her eyebrows were drawn. He recognized the look well, and seeing it, he may as well have been picked up by the scruff and placed back in time twelve years.

Black Sheep had never been much of a reticent child, but when she wanted something she knew they wouldn't allow, she took her time to work up the will to ask. She would become silent and broody, and Shadowsan always found it amusing how transparent children could be.

"Is there something you want?"

She glared down at the desk, fingers drawing still. He folded his hands behind his back as he waited on her.

"...Let me come with you." She said.

"No."

"Shadowsan."

"You are in no condition," He said, nodding to her arm in a cast. "How did that even happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She muttered.

He hummed and made a mental note to ask Player about it later.

"I thought you were out of the game," She said, "What changed?"

He looked at her, eyebrows raised. "I could ask the same of you. Why are you here, Carmen?"

She snorted. "I'm only partly retired. You know I can't sit still."

He considered this. He nodded.

"Point."

"Why are you doing this, Shadowsan? What happened to living a normal life?"

"This operation hits close to home. Various museums around the country have been the targets of often violent robberies. ACME Intel indicates that Matsumoto could be next."

"'Could be,' huh? Give me and Player two hours and we'll get you definite answers."

He frowned at her, eyes narrowing.

"What is this about, child?"

"I'm not a child." She muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Forgive an old man for his habits."

She turned away from him.

"Carmen."

She stared at the floor, shoulders held stiffly with tension.

He pressed again. "What is bothering you?"

She huffed. "It's just..."

She trailed off, her fists clenching as she spun back around.

"...Why do you have to work with her?!"

He blinked, somewhat taken aback. That's what this was about? She'd come all the way to Japan just to plead with him against working with ACME's chief...? He thought her issue with the Chief had been long resolved, was there something he was missing?

"I mean, what's it even about? Chief doesn't do field work! That's weird! And why couldn't you have partnered with literally anyone else? Fuck! You, Zack, and Ivy have tons of experience working together. You could have worked with Jules, or Devineaux, or even Zari! I don't trust it."

He grunted. "I would not work with that French idiot even if my life depended on it."

"Why her?"

He hummed. "I imagine it has to do with me being ex-VILE. It would make sense if she wanted to make sure of my allegiances herself."

"That's ridiculous. She has both Zack and Ivy's word. If she trusts them then she should trust you."

"ACME's chief is a cautious woman."

"Oh, really. Wasn't very cautious of her when she pulled a gun on my father."

Oh.

Okay. He understood now.

"Are you worried she's going to..?"

She hugged herself, suddenly looking very unsure of herself.

"No... Yes. Maybe... I don't know. Just let me come with you..?"

He sighed heavily and approached her. He put a hand on her shoulder and waited for her to look at him.

"I will be fine," He assured her, "I've been in and out of this game for a long time. Even if she does try anything-- which I know she won't-- I am perfectly capable of defending myself."

"I know, but--"

"--Have you been doing okay?"

"...What?"

"Have you been doing okay? You know I am happy to have you here, but I must admit that I'm worried about you. You flew all the way here, and for what? To accuse a woman you yourself have worked with of plotting something insidious? It's uncharitable, and I hate to say it, but incredibly irrational."

She pulled away from him.

"I'm fine." She insisted, "God, you and Player sound exactly alike."

"Player is an intelligent young man."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine, whatever. Maybe I'm being unfair, but you'll have to excuse me if I trust a little less after all the shit I've been through."

She swallowed harshly and swiped at her eyes. He watched her silently, a dull ache in his throat and a stabbing desire in his heart to vanish anything that troubled her.

"Perhaps I should move closer to you, I--"

"What? No. Shadowsan, that's-- No. You're finally back with your brother, you don't have to--"

"--I don't have a responsibility to Hideo, Carmen. You're like a daughter to me, and if you're struggling--"

"--I'm not struggling."

"It's okay if you are."

"Well, I'm not. And it's fine. I have Player. You don't have to uproot your entire life for me."

He smiled ruefully. Of course she wouldn't understand, it wasn't her job to.

Back in the beginning, years and years ago, he'd never been one to care much about anything. Life had not been kind to him, and so he was not kind to others. But it was in those early days, the first few sleepless nights before the nannies showed up, that he found himself actually concerned about somebody else. Holding the child, wishing desperately that she would just go the fuck to sleep, he came to reckon with his role in her life. He had, completely and irrevocably, changed the course of her entire life. She was his responsibility, and it wasn't about him anymore. Anything he'd ever do would have to be for her. This was the burden he shouldered.

(he'd choose this burden time and time again.)

"I uprooted your entire life, are you sure you don't want to return the favor?"

She snorted, a small smile that she tried to fight gracing her lips.

"I want you to reconnect with your brother."

"And I want to make sure you're happy."

"I am happy, Shadowsan. I just... have a lot going on." Her voice sort of hitched at the end, and ouch. It pained him to see her like this.

She shuffled closer to him and he recognized the action for what it was. Even as a child, she could never bring herself to ask for affection. She'd just kind of follow you around and stare up at you and wait until you got the message. The other three never quite caught on-- or, they did, and they opted to ignore her. Then there was Coach Brunt, and that was just... Ugh.

Understanding her need, he took her and held her close. She threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I've just been so... weird lately."

"It's understandable after all you've been through."

"I can barely relax."

He had no good response to that. He pet her hair instead.

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know."

"...I um. You know that I love you, right?"

He smiled softly, quiet content spreading warm in his chest. He kissed the crown of her head.

"I know. I love you too."o

[eternal-moss]

its fanservice when women, super important when its men is ur takeaway from the summer event

Help the way I got one singular like and one hate comment for that post 😭 it’s fanservice when it’s fanservice dude. I found Scara’s behaviour annoying and cliché (“hehe ur kinda cute” [please leave me alone]), as well as laying on Nilou’s lap.

(The rest of this isn’t really me responding to you but just rambling about Alice, Rhine & the Hexenzirkel because it’s midnight rn and witches yeaag)

I’m a massive Hexenzirkel fan! I’m just annoyed that still after so long we haven’t gotten a single bit of reference to what Alice looks like so I can’t draw fanart of her. Like seriously, are we going to have to wait until Snezhnaya to finally see her?? I’m happy for any kind of Alice content but I’m always sad it’s mainly crumbs.

She’s an incredible inventor, she literally made both the gramophone & telephone. I want her to be super super overpowered, her strength is already alluded to by her seeming to have comparable power to Venti (changing Mondstadt’s landscape) but I want it to be m o r e.

More about Alice bc I love her. I love writing her into fics (especially crossover ones because she CANONICALLY TRAVELS WORLDS. WHY IS THIS NEVER BROUGHT UP.) and just one-shotting the antagonists with the full force of the sun lol. I really want to learn more about the Genshin ‘elves’ too because they’re just thrown in there without much explanation. (Layla literally never mentions it, or Nahida…)

RHINE TIME!!! I love Rhinedottr & all her fucked up children (although I wish we knew more about her past). I love how her motivation genuinely seems to be joy in her creations, and it ‘just so happens’ that most of them turn out to be catastrophic in some way 😭. I hope she’s more cold and reserved, but secretly a bit insane like Alice. I also really like the two of them romantically paired together, shout out to the 7 other Rhinealice shippers out there.

I like daydreaming about them going to magic school together or some kind of study (a la Farcille. Thank you Farcille for existing to fulfill my Rhinealice fantasies), and how they’d respond to Khaenri’ah’s fallout? Are they still in contact? Does Alice know if Rhine is alive? When was Albedo given to her? HOW OLD IS ALICE BRO 😭😭

In terms of physical features, I see both of them as being greying & looking in their 50s (only partially to spite the fact that 90% of the Genshin cast appear in their early 20s or younger. Xianyun’s the closest thing we have to an older woman. Playable Madame Ping when⁉️)

The Hexenzirkel is genuinely one of my favourite parts of the Genshin lore and I really hope they do it well. I enjoyed their teaser so much, and I hope we get to see more of that, as well as Venti’s allyship with them, something that was referenced as far back as the first summer event where Venti leant (lol) Dvalin for Klee to travel, presumably because he and Alice are friendly with each other.

I’m obviously interested in the other members of the Hexenzirkel (and other witches!!!! Like Lisa and Rosalyne!!!!) but we really don’t know that much about them, aside information from Mona who I don’t have.

Alice & Rhine are basically my OCs at this point, and when their designs are inevitably very different from my imagined versions of them, I might as well make them OCs lol.

So no, my takeaway is not men=interesting women=boring. My favourite Genshin character is Kokomi and I’m extremely sad they’ve given her little to no allusion to her lore for the past 3 years 🥲

I think it’s a bit rude of you to come into my asks saying something like that on anon, but I won’t deny I found the first 3 parts of the event excruciatingly boring, as someone who is slightly interested in Sumeru, and barely interested in Fontaine. I’ve always loved Mondstadt and Liyue the most, so of course I was interested for Mondstadt lore. AND DRAGONS. I LOVE DRAGONS DUDE.PLEASE CAN SOMEONE LET KOKOMI HAVE HER DRAGON LORE I BEG.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

66.7512 meters episode!!!

i think i broke his heart! oh well!!!! ÑLKÑLK ruby y are u so happy about this all the time skfljdks1 (waiting for the karmic writing where someone breaks *her* heart....). tbh also very doctor-like. they are *so* unhinged

i was looking for some Spin-off foreshadowing in this war between land and sea business but best i've got is that... it will probably be set in wales ksdlfj

nuclear war is hilarious. fiften u are not all right.

That's the most bizarre "circle" ive ever seen. if anything is the orthogonal projection of a geodesic dome.

"A pee around the back"…….. dr pee foreshadowing

AESOP #1: children, when u are doing "off the road tourism", don't disturb sacred sites

susan twist's "thing" is just gonna be: "take revenge from being killed so many times". like she's just red-shirting all over the place (maybe it's gonna be a bit of meta commentary of the high body count of this show? that it's all for our sadistic pleasure but doesn't always have real significance skfldj)

I guess inflation is a recurring theme this season?

liminal spaaaace

"and then there's the blood""w-what blood?" i laughed ngl sksksk

the different color fonts in iplayer are a bit distracting tbh…...

ah yes. welsh racism...

hmmm… runy sitting in the chair... to wait in front of the tardis... "The one who waits?"

Thats' what men do skdksk love me some "Intergalactic fuck boy" subtext being voice and made text

Poor ruby ):

it's about the [metaphor for being stigmatized]!!!

Ohh the doctor was the first to disappear by the curse, maybe?

"even ur real mother didnt want u" Bro this monster is so mean wtf Kate!!!

AGAINST HIM, SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!! Antagonist kate be coming!!!

"well, that's classified"

This timeline might be suspended along ur event???

WE INVENT THE RULES AND MAKE THEM WORK!!! THEMES!! YOU HAVE TO COUNT EVERY GRAIN OF SALT!!! IT'S THE GAME THEME CONNECTING TO THE SUPERSTITION THEME!!!!!!!!

theeeemes

the more unit gets competent the more sinister they become

her going "cheers!" to her personal satan. i love u ruby

FUCK YEAH. ICON. GO KILL THE PRIME.MINISTER

...only guys in ruby's little montage ]: im heartbroken T.T rip the x5 times wlw companions streak dream it seems

"except the bed thing that was u" narrator voice: it wasnt

"Which is what?" KILL THE PM KILL THE PM DO IT ICON

Rtd connected to the universe skskdk oh beautiful synergy

[also literally how Y&Y starts... ]

"No more" feels loaded/intentional here, considering how it's been used before as an Important Phrase is War's arc.

the emo advisor guy intrigues me

Ruby having to solve this whole thing + cold war vibes.... mmm very ace coded

[lol @ soc dem / liberal writers being so scared of "populism" and "the dumbness of crowds". peak soc dem / liberal] [what is a "political allegory story" by a soc dem without the punchline being that "I think The People are really fucking Stupid actually"] [i do enjoy the side point of british politicians being so desperate for relevancy that they fire nuclear missiles for the fun of it. yeah… that tracks]

[lol becoming independent from nato being a bad thing. lol #"fucklybia!!"#signed:thisepisode]

the directing is very fun in this

Ruby get on your feets and make it happen

She's gonna say u forgot to say hi to this lady

ruby's asking to be shot again sksks

Iris u say…........ eyes emoji

[ok but also. lol not to go " ah, peak liberal again!" but lol. this resolution is peak liberal [ie. fundamentally antidemocratic, a few 1% technocrats (obvs, privileged and from the global north) with the answers "know what's best"]. this lad may have been crazy but they voted for him for a reason that "the system" wasnt providing.but in typical soc dem fashion they can't ever fight the fascists on The Real Deal ie. strength of a proposed political project + material gains resulted from those political projects + committing to real system change, so they have to scramble for antidemocratic solutions like [timey wimey prisons] to ""fight facism""" (ie not fighting it at all and by proxy, just making the fucking cockroaches stronger each "election cycle" because they can't fight them in a meaningful, political sense) bc the people are just too stupid!!! and this is why democracy was a mistake!!!!!!! ... sigh rtd. oh well good thing i didn't expect more on this front tbh sdlkjfdsd in that sense the s1-s4 rewatch prepared me well lol]

clara vibes in this ep in a lot of moments (old!ruby, sort of "mausoleum tardis", etc)

"i didnt travel with him long..." "but it felt like a lifetime" became literal…

"Everyone has abandoned me my whole life" T_T

AESOP #2: kids u are never alone <3 u always have ur inner demons :) and the unrelenting spectra of death~

There's always something a bit unsatisfying about self closing paradoxes... kinda like "oh it was all a dream so it didnt matter". but i think in this one it was crunchy enough with other things that i think it was balanced.

Very turn left-y ending! CONCLUSIONS!! people kept saying in the press this episode was gonna be "super scary" tbh i just found it.... profoundly sad sdxkljflkfj ruby's life just *screams* "missing the important bits by focusing on the unimportant" and "obsessing over things that don't matter" and "companion becomes detached from real life to the point they become super unhinged and callous" ("im sorry i couldn't help you marti")

(c+p some stuff i put on a discord): tbh i rolled my eyes at the political stuff but i don't think im even mad about it this time lol (too tired irl to get properly angry at doctor who these days ig)

anyway i dont think the political stuff is what it was really "about". i found this story very moving on what it was (imo) rlly about: ruby's fear and experience of being abandoned and also the general "fear of approaching death"

and obvs a bit of other emotional beats that are more specific to doctor who's long running stories: like the doctor "always does this" ie leaves everyone of his friends behind and there's the lingering tragedy that this will happen, as well, to ruby inevitably, then also both ruby and the doc becoming 'detached' from real life (ruby basically never investing anything in those relationships w/ those guys bc she was 'absorbed' by this mystery /clearly a parallel to her being absorbed by her parental origin) and also how tourists cant watch where they step / the doctor and co arent always respectful to the 'silly traditions' of the places they visit (tbh excellent bc to overcome my "this show has the white man's burden' engraved in its dna" meta... the show is gonna have to keep making story like and like Demons of Punjab for at least 3 more decades lol) (basically tldr i think it fumbled the politics stuff but it was rlly crunchy where it mattered. also, ....... i think this pretty much confirms that ruby isn't her own mother / the person who let herself at the door step in Christmas, right??? like rtd had said was the short story he had concocted years ago, and was the insp for this... but he kinda used up that trick here… so it must be something/someone else, right?) (another thing: ruby going "i used to be able to make it snow" made smth click....... ---> if ruby's whole focus rn seems to be about "the mystery", and this quest seems to be not only something she *needs* but also something that like... means joy and adventure, and traveling with the doctor... when she finds out the Truth,,, that probably means all the whimsy in her life will go away? (so she may come to a point where she Doesn't want to know Actually (which would be very "thirteen regretting throwing away the watch" realness mirror again)

[phaeton-flier]

ooh i wanna hear ur opinions and problems with 17776, if you'd like to share them

So a lot of the novel (let's call it that for simplicity) is about metaphor; One of the major ones is "American Football is a very dangerous sport, it causes massive damage to people, it's fucked up we let kids do it given the lifelong CTE, the only way it can be considered ethical to play is if everyone is immortal and there are no kids to be hurt" But that leaves the object level kind of scant, you know, it feels like pieces are missing from the puzzle. Some of this, of course, is that I'm interpreting it one way and the author means it a different way. Still, I feel like the evidence is there for a much more horrifying interpretation that drops out later: I'm reading about there being no more children, and people playing the exact same game for centuries in the same canyon with no chance of escape, and there being 8 million people left, and it looks to me like there's Something Going On.

So when the end of the book comes, and the answers are "Uh, dunno what's up with the No Kids" and "Yeah, people expect to wring out every scrap of joy from every activity because they'll eventually be bored" and "Whoops, I made an out-of-universe typo and instead of correcting it, I just left it in." It feels incredibly unsatisfying.

The second one is the thing that breaks immersion for me. Human Psychology just Does Not Work That Way, people will not try and wring out every possible joy from a game before moving on, just because they expect to one day be bored. They will, in fact, get bored and do something else. I can take people wanting to live in the same '87 Ford because they want something kind of boring, it helps ground the story, I can accept the guy waiting in a cave for decades because I can imagine one Henry Darger type doing very weird shit. I cannot accept that everyone will just keep doing whatever they're doing just because the opportunity might not come up again.

Similarly, a lot of the window dressing is hard to stomach. Everyone is playing variations on weird games, but apparently after 10 millennia no one is interested in spending a century or so terraforming Mars, because that would get in the way of showing off Cool Football World. A lot of the story is rooted in Nostalgia, and I can respect that, especially since most of the population would've been born in the 60s and that never changes, but while "We keep moving around and living in the same apartment forever" starts to break immersion.

I just kind of wanted a story that either was more upfront about where it was breaking reality so it clearer what themes we're exploring, or which didn't literally feel like it ran out of time and did an infodump about how the futures really not that scary.

The characters are great, most of the imaginary football is great, the parts really trying to be existential and moving are great, but some of the connective tissue is missing and it's very obvious what wasn't filled in after the author structured the story he wanted to tell.

[olliesxcorner]

when u want to tell me anything and everything abt ur insert

Alexis it is three in the morning for me meaning that it's like. o. on.. e... one???????? for you go to bed

Oliver's always had trouble expressing herself and dealing with emotion, despite having gotten better at that when she turned 19

when she was little and still trying to get over her abuse (which she physically got away from at 11), despite having four other siblings (and being directly in the middle) and a present mother, she really depended on her big sister, Cecilia

who, mind you, was 13 when Oliver was 11. Cecilia officially went missing at 13

thay being said, when dealing with her PTSD and oftentimes breakdowns (due to PTSD and things unrelated), none of her other four siblings (one of which being Cecilia's twin brother) or mother could help her. mostly because Oliver refused it, not because they didn't know how

she was used to Cecilia, and she didn't like the change nor the fact that Cecilia wasn't there with her to help her

so by the time she was almost fourteen, she went into what us gacha children call an "emotionless frenzy;" not knowing how to handle or deal with her own emotions, not allowing other people to help her, it took a toll on her mental and she eventually shut herself off completely

ended up getting a girlfriend ... who reminded her of Cecilia (bear with me)

but she didn't... want her. she thought she needed her support to piece herself back together, overall leading into a toxic dependency, as well as a generally toxic relationship that her girlfriend willingly stayed in, as she wanted to help Oliver, for better or for worse

that girlfriend would end up becoming Oliver's fiance, but... things hadn't really started to get better. not to say things got worse, but it didn't get better.

and to think that all it took was Oliver being too late for her to open up her eyes—which were now less dull and devoid of a shine—and get her shit together

she still doesn't like accepting help ... but she doesn't flat out refuse it either. she's more open with herself and tries her best nowadays

that dependency is still there, and it becomes evident once she ends up getting attached to someone. for instance; she tried to kill Ajax on multiple occasions,,,, but if she's not at home sleeping with family, she cannot and will not sleep unless that fucker is in bed with her

- "... princess? why are you awake? it's late, I said not to wait up for me." "... I wasn't tired." "you absolutely are, I can hear it in your voice." "..." "heh. hold on, I'll sleep with you after I shower." (he knows)

due to how she was most of her life, even at the age of 23... she still can't handle affection when it's given,,, pls don't ask why she's so hot (your fingers touched her arm when reaching behind her)

she's actually not as quiet and scary as she makes herself out to be (typically, with her partner(s)).. no, if you ever catch her with any of her siblings, you'll find that shes the silliest of the sillies. actively engages in petty arguments (she knew she was wrong twenty minutes ago. she's just pissing them off now), insitgates, DRAMA QUEEN,, her and Cecilia are literally

- "AHH. godDAYUM-" "om.." "it's so fucking hot augh... (has a pyro vision), I'm sweatting...i can't BREATHE" "I lost my vision,," "omg she lost her vision. how many fingers am I holding up 🖕🏻🖕🏻" "... ten" "oh shit she did MOOOOOMM"

ever wonder where "princess" comes from? well, her and the family's youngest (Miles, 15) are what the others perceive as the "golden children" (there are no favorites... they're both just silly brats who like demolishing people)

- "... Oliver, you see this shit?" "that's..." "I know right. God. get a grip, PEOPLE." "ew don't call them people. they're not like US" "no one is... we're awesome. even though in slightly better in every single way"

- "this... this is my sister, Oliver. s-she... she suffers from autism—" "I don't suffer from it, I just HAVE it. you stupid fucking blonde this is exactly why you got your Vision so late"

she's actually >:3c,,, she just pretends not to be in front of certain people

like, for instance.... (in her mind) if ajax fell for her because of her bitchy personality... why would he like her silly? he loves her wanting to kill him he won't accept this change

basically "if you initially started liking me for THIS... I'm only going to be this around you"

she's the type of person to laugh at dick jokes

Vallen (her older brother) could be talking about something, and she'd start laughing

- "Oh, if you see this bean, don't eat it. This bean is—" " pfft. " "... what?" ".. you said penis." "Oliver I swear to god shut the fuck up" "I'm literally going to tell Mom you told me to hang myself in the shower oh my g"

it's very convinent that Valores (her little sister) is with diluc and she's with Kaeya... like

- "hi diluc" "yes?" "pls get your girlfriend. she kept me up until five talking about you. I'm tired. i want ten beers and a vodka shot" "... I'll pick her up.. but ONLY if you get Kaeya out of my establishment. please."

there's a joke I can't say it's inappropriate but she's actually very unashamed

- "oliver... that's. that's not right. that's spreading misinformation." "I know. it's funny seeing other people spread it. it'll be fucking hilarious when the truth is found." "Oliver no—"

^ that is SO much different than the joke but it's the most appropriate way I could show it

Miles oftentimes joke about her and Cecilia's being literally just Kaeya and Diluc (Cecilia and Oliver, respectively),,, they'll fight about anything and everything for no reason either

very messy sleeper... not even messy, she's just the type of person to wake up across the room or under the bed (she isn't a sleep walker. she just cannot fucking stay still)

so you either have to be holding her, on top of her, or have her in between you... Kaeya and Ajax learned this the hard way.. why was she under the bed SNORING

obsessed with flowers and nature overall. has a journal dedicated to that stuff where she draws in it, info dumps, n what not ... only certain siblings (on certain days) can access it, and her boyfriends too because they're special :3c

it's like that one picture

- "hi, Oliver!" "........." "... oh my god this flower is so pretty I wonder what it—" "that flower is called Datura stramonium, known by the common names thornapple, jimsonweed, or devil's trumpet, is a poisonous flowering plant in the Daturae tribe of—"

I've worked on this fr 45 minutes... yeah. time to post what the fu

[materialgworlas]

Hey Siri how long has it been Sense

Materialgworlas posted

Siri: playing material girls by saucy Santana on Apple Music

Me:pauses music

You get what I’m try to say tho bestie YOU HAVENT GAVE US ANY SAUCE WERES THE SAUCE Please hook a sister up post POST PLEASE

Visitors From The Future- Satoru Gojo x Fem!reader

Synopsis: M kinda loving the whole Y/n gojo roommate canon so imam stick w it for now. SO imagine like u n gojo be arguing again, over sumn domestic like the nasty mf leavin skid marks or smthg😭 AND THENNN yall interrupted by sm1 at the door and its future nanami n yo future kids w gojo (Cuz of some mission into da future that takes place in da past… uh… YK WHAT FUCK THE LOGISTICS MAN JUST ALLOW IT). And gojo be smug as hell cuz he already got a lil crush on u so knowing yall get busy in da future is a major confidence boost.

GOJO AF

And like u in denial cuz u been resisting the urge to jump in this blind mice ahh mf’s bones for AGES

YO MANS😫😫

 anddddd u kinda feeling geto rn but yo kids r cute so u aint really complaining. And it’s just future nanami tired as hell cuz yo kids got gojo’s energeticness and ur stubbornness so they can’t be reasoned w😍

pov its bedtime🥰

JORDANA BBG HERE U GOOOOO😁 IM EXPECTING MY COMMISION IN DMS👹👹(yk what im talkin ab)

warning: uh da n-word? sm foul language, the readers black, gojo be simpin then foul at the end, poor suguru just wanted nyash, nanami deserves better than designated nanny AHAH GET IT NANANNY-MI REHEHEHE IM SO FUNNY-

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

“I SWEAR TO GOD IMMA MURDER THIS FOOL!”

“Eughhhhh it’s not even that bad-“

“WDYM NOT THAT BAD MAN U SHAT UP THE WHOLE KITCHEN!!”

“Mf actin like its on the walls”

“…”

“What-“

“WHO THE FUCKKKK DO U THINK CLEANS THE DAMN APARTMENT GOJO!”

“Gojo?? I thought we were at that ‘Satoru’ level-“

“NIGGA STFU! Yo crusty ahh been fucking up my damn kitchen for WAY too long! Clean yo shit mf, last I checked slavery was over!”

“This is why we should get a maid.”

“WITH WHAT FUNDS!??!?! WE BROKE STUDENTS!”

“phhfft speak for yourself, im loaded.”

“Correction, was loaded. Until yo parents got tired of funding ur dookie lifestyle n cut you off.”

“…”

“reheh, gotcha nigga.”

“Ughhhhh I hate this.”

“Oh and u think I like wasting my breath?? Mf just clean the damn mess you made so ion have to yell.”

 “yeah, u only be yelling for Suguru these days...”

“NIGGA WHAT??”

“…” “U WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE U POMPOUS  CANT DO SHIT LIMP DICCK BEADY EYED FREAKK WITH YO WHITE HAIR GOT U LOOKING LIKE AN OLD ASS  EGG HEADED SLENDER MAN! CLEAN YO MAN MESS OR FUCKING LEAVE!” you practically roared, heavily breathing whilst a shocked Gojo stared at your angered form

Great, now you’ve done it

“yk what fuck this shit, I’m heading out.” you huffed before storming off to your room to get changed

You always take things too far, don’t you satoru. And the worst part is I only made that mess cause I was tryna make that weird dish Y/n loves, but I fucked it up n got embarrassed. God I gotta let go of this petty crush, I mean- shes literally hooking up with my best friend, by definition that should make Y/n off limits. But I just… She just so smart n funny n GAHD DAYM THAT ASS PHATT- but all I manage to do is piss her off. EUGH curse these damn feelings! Maybe ill call hoe#2 later to de-stress, she doesn’t mind when I say the wrong name at least-

“You gon get the door or not!?”

Your yell from the other room had broken through Gojo’s thoughts, now aware of the ringing the 6’3 man lumbered to the door

“Oh yeh nanamin-“

“DADDY!”

Gojo’s greeting had been cut off by the shrill of the two young children that clung to Nanami’s frame, eagerly reaching out to touch him. “May we come inside.” The weary blond spoke, waiting patiently for his ‘friend’ to move aside allowing him to enter, the two infants in tow.

“who was at the door-“you padded into the living room, dressed much nicer than before, stopping short seeing your best friend, Nanami, and the two children in his arms. “Mini, who’s black babies are these” you chortled

“MAMA!” The children wailed, squirming hard enough to break free from Nanami’s hold and rush to you.

“The fu-“

“Y/N! no cussing in front of the kids!” Gojo hissed, you rolled your eyes but relented. Turing your attention to the children clinging to your legs

“these babies kidna cute.” You muttered

“I KNOW RIGHT!!” Gojo cooed, tickling the younger girl who let out a happy squeal

“I should hope you find your own children cute.” Nanami said, in his matter of fact tone, as if he aint dropped a phatt ass spoiler in yo lives.

“My own children- huh?”

“Yes, myself, Kasumi and Saku are from the future. They are your children.” Mf dropping bomb after bomb without a second thought THAT’S how tired he is.

OUR WHAT? KIDS? U MEAN I- SHITTT, I have so many questions! When do we get together? Are we still together?? Do we get married?? Wait he said from the future- just how far into the future we talking??? How long I gotta wait to dick Y/n down n make my Gojo army... Saku’s got Y/ns smile and Kasumi got her… well everything. Damn I really lucked out-

So many thoughts in Gojo’s head. Yet all he could muster was,

“Huh… come to think of it you do look a lil older to how I remember.” Trying to keep his composure whilst he did internal backflips

Our kids? You mean me and this dusty- who am I kidding GORGEOUS idiot fuck?? AND I POP OUT TWO OF HIS EGG HEADED BABIES?? I mean, when?? Where?? why?? I mean sure the niggas fine but uh me n Geto kinda… well its complicated. But DAMN if these babies aren’t the cutest lil shit I ever seen. Saku’s got Gojos big ahh blue bug eyes but he makes em work w his brown skin n adorable lil afro… he can’t be more than 6 I’d say. AND OH MY LIFE KASUMI IS ADORABLE EHEHEH, she gets her cuteness from her mama let’s not lie but her beautiful curled her got white locks that fit her so well. Ehehe yk what, I’m not mad.

“Mama, no angy?” Kasumi babbled

“Huh- why would I be angry??”

“C-cause we twied to make (insert favourite food🥰) n-nd made biggggggggggg mess.” Saku said, peering at you with those beautiful blue eyes.

“Dadda’s dia!” Kasumi pointed to Gojo who picked up the happy girl

“Dadda’s what?” he hummed

“SUMI’S RIGHT W-WE ONLY DID IT CAUSE-BECAUSE DADDY SAID YOU’D LIKE IT!”

Gojo rn:🧍🏾‍♀️

“You were tryna make (favourite food)? N made a big mess…” now u aint the brightess when it comes to this shit but even you could connect the dots.

Now the famous Satoru Gojo, strongest sorcerer, was shying away from the knowing look you gave him. his cheeks dusted with an embarrassing amount of pink as he used Kasumi’s chubby body to shield himself.

YOU AF

Your cute lil moment was cut short by Nanami’s haggard snores, the poor man was sprawled on your couch. If it weren’t for his aggressive ass noises, you’d think the mf was dead😭

“Um- er, well they can’t exactly leave until Nanami’s awake…” Gojo started

“True, and it’d be cruel to wake him… he looks so tired.”

“…I guess we’ll have to look after the kids until he wakes up🥳🥳🥳. Oh well, HEY- who wants to teleport to Uncle Suguru n tell him the good news!!”

“Gojo you’re foul-“

“MEEEE!” Saku and Kasumi yelled in unison

“ALRIGHT LETS GO!😁”

GETO WHILE GOJO BE PARADING HIS HAPPY LIL FAMILY ON HIS LAWN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ik its been a hot minute yall but dw ur warrior @jordanahart been on my ass everyday to post dis 😔✊🏾 1 man army fr

[wellthebardsdead]

Nerevar: *shivers adjusting his cloak as the ship sails into windhelms harbour* azuras mercy I forgot how cold it was here.

Riiju-Lei: *just wearing a shirt and trousers with a pair of boots* hm? Oh yes. I suppose I’m used to it. My father used to put me in the snow when I’d have fits as a child.

Nerevar: I? That seems a bit harsh, children are meant to throw tantrums.

Riiju-Lei: hm? What? Oh no I never threw tantrums I, never felt anything enough to even get frustrated like that. No I’d… get very hot, and then my body would start convulsing. So he’d put me in the snow to cool me down. I got used to it and after a while the fits just stopped until… well until I came into contact with debris from red mountain… I now know it was ur dagoth attempting to possess my body when I was an infant but… Voryn, I? Me? Myself. *sighs* I was already in possession of my new body and thanks to my fathers intervention.

Nerevar: you stayed in possession of it… *smiles softly at him then at the shipyard as the argonians wave from the docks before diving in to guide the ship into port* I can’t wait to meet him.

Riiju-Lei: …I think he’d of liked you… mother too…

Nerevar: *squeezes his hip gently*

Riiju-Lei: *rests his head on his shoulder* …

*water splashing and the sounds of a very sickly high elf bringing up his dinner yet again*

Riiju-Lei: *looks over to see Taliesin slumped over the rails hurling* I thought he’d of been able to hold it in we’re nearly home.

Kaidan: *holding Taliesins hair back* the ship lurched and so did his stomach. *pats taliesins back* were home love…

Taliesin: gods k-kill me- *grabs the rails hurling again*

Scouts-Many-Marshes: *from the water below, definitely swam into it* UGH WHAT THE FUCK?!

*a few hours later*

Riiju-Lei: *walks into the hall of the dead quietly, a bottle of mead and a bushel of snowberrys and dragon tongues in hand* miss Helgird?

Helgird: *wrapping a body for burial* Oh now here’s a face I haven’t seen in a while! Hello LeiLei, come to visit your parents I assume? Oh, and you brought friends?

Riiju-Lei: *looks back at team dragonborn and nerevar* yes, they, wanted to meet them too. A… lot of things have changed with me and they want to make sure I’ll be okay seeing them again.

Helgird: *smiles warmly* I’m glad to see you’ve finally found people who care about you dear. You know where to go, and the rest of you- *waves an embalming hook at them menacingly* keep your voices down. The dead can still be woken you know. *snickers and resumes working*

Riiju-Lei: *smiles and nods* it’s good to see you again Helgird. *walks past her and down a corridor leading to the older burial chambers*

Nerevar: *walks along side him quietly observing the Nordic burial practices finding them odd compared to dunmer culture* she seems very familiar with you.

Riiju-Lei: yes, I’ve known her her whole life in fact. When she became the carer to the hall of the dead I’d see her once a month when I’d come to visit my parents… *stops in front of a wall with two urns nestled side by side to each other, dried snow berries and dragon tongues beside one, and a bottle of mead by the other* …

Nerevar: Leilei?…

Riiju-Lei: *feeling a sadness deep inside of him finally bubbling to the surface as tears he couldn’t shed back then finally begin to spill* th-… this is ma and da… *removes the dried flowers and replaces them with the new before doing the same with the mead* I… *chokes back a sob as his heart is finally allowed to grieve* I miss them.

Nerevar: *hugs him gently as team dragonborn crowd around him to comfort him too* They’d be so proud of you… *smiles seeing two ghostly figures appear that only he can see, an old nord and Argonian couple, both of them smiling and hugging onto Riiju as he cries, not even knowing they’re there* …They missed you too…

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 42, JK Rowling is afraid of ham

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!!!!!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don’t den JKR is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!!!111

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I sat depressedly in Daddy Till’s office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Daddy Till was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song. Hedwig couldn't take it anymore and flew around the office.

“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time. Even though I had already told everyone that I was from a different time, they had children and those kids could just not keep their hands off me. I had not exactly been subtle about the time travel at all! AT ALL!!!!!

“Whatever u do don’t blame Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers, u jerk.” Satan said. "Nothing bad that ever happens is her fault!"

“Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together.” Serious said deviantly.

“Be quiet you Satanists.” Daddy Till cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Akazaban!!! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Daddy Till didn’t notece. He was too busy cockling secretly behind his desk. I knew he loves me too.

“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.

“I bet you’ve never herd of GC.” James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11

“Shut up Jomes!!!” Richard's dad shouted. Well, not dad I guess. Not yet. But he knows that

“Yeah shut up!!!!” Snake said preppily.

“No u shut up Daddy Till!!!!!!!!1111” said Tom.

“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!” shouted Daddy Till spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.

“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Daddy Till wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.

“Dis is da future. Daddy Till’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.

“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.

“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.

“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.

“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.

“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive. And why she was in the story. And why she suddenly liked me. And where she had been all this time. And that she was totally not some rando who just showed up because I had a fight with my friend again and I needed a stand in. She was made of cardboard.

“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

“Hey whose that, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Raven Face Landers?” Frau Schneider questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

“Oh its Satan.” I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.

“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.

“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.

“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. Diabolo was the most boring person in the school and only there when I needed a stand in for Richard or Vampire. Much like his sister. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

“Oh my fucking god, where’s Richard!!!!111 How did Snap get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan.” I asked sadly.

“Paul Darkness Alzheimer Omnipotentia Landers I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a vrompire. Even though you have died like 7 times already but I guess some people just won't die. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student. For no reason whatsoever and we just need someone to bitch at so that one person you know in your life had to do” Trevolry said reassuredly.

“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?” I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep. No reason as to why whatsover

“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Daddy Till is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!” Trevolry said worriedly.

“OK. But where’s Richard???? How cum he was doing it with Snap?????”

“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” she said. "Also that wasn't Snape, that was the nice one, Flake. Snape is the evil one and he has been posing as Professor Flake all this time!"

“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.

“Good luck Yoda!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.

“No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!” she laughed.

“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically. (pontificating is a hard word and definitely used wrong here)

“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. “OMG Vampira!!!!111” I yielded.

There was a magical cow in the great hall. We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow, the newest product from Apple. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!!!1)“I wus so worried you died!” moaned Vampire.

“I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me.”

“Where’s Richard?” I asked spuriously.

“Richard? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.

“I’ll do it den.” Harry said angstily.

“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Dork Mark appeared.

“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Harry shouted.

“I fink Voldimort has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Richard!!1 I guess we shood separate.”

“Ok.” Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.