#I WAS LIKE PLEASE BE /J FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE /J BUT THEY WERE /SRS

[skyeconch]

[Game night]

Y/N : Jeff!

Y/N : get off tinder! We’re playing a game!

J : for the last time— it’s █████! Not Jeff or whatever names starts with j!

Y/N : I literally have no idea what you’re talking about

J : you— anyways I’ve got no matches on this godforsaken app. These females don’t want me

J : and I’m a decent nice guy, if I’m doing this bad, imagine how bad Curly’s doing 🙄

Curly, smacks lips : okay 😐

Y/N : what do you even have to offer a woman? A five inch d!ck?

Daisuke : :O

J : 😑

J : you know I’m just really grateful that you rounded up instead of down. Most people don’t do that for me, that was nic—

Y/N : yeah, yeah no problem

Curly : nothing wrong with five

J : Ok. No. But seriously— I mean— I have plenty to offer.

J : because number one— I have a car.

Y/N : It’s Curly’s car 😑

Curly : MY car 😐

J : number two— I can drive. And I mean what more do you need to do these days?

Y/N : I mean— I don’t know. Maybe change your name?? And maybe stay 20 feet away from people?? Or just don’t engage with people?? Move to places with 0 population??

Swansea, butts in : yeah, yeah you’re a real catch. I call *drops some chips*

Daisuke : you can’t call :((

Swansea : what the fuck are we even playing?

Anya : we’re playing Go Fish. But instead of saying “Go Fish” we say, “Go Dale” :)

Y/N : God bless his soul

Curly : y’all have any jacks?

Daisuke : you asked that last turn— GO DALE

Curly : damn it

Y/N : don’t worry, Jennifer—

J : it’s █████ 😐

Y/N : —JDP445 ☺️

J : 😶

Y/N : like I said, don’t worry, you’re not missing out on much

Y/N : y’know I was married once!

Curly : really???

Daisuke : tell us your love story!

Anya, rememberers Y/N’s last psychological evaluation : oh no. Please don’t ask them that right no—

J : SHUT UP!

Curly : █████! Don’t yell! Uhh go ahead, y/n

Y/N : 1956 😌 Las Vegas 😌

Curly, sees Daisuke’s open cards : You DO have a jack!

Daisuke : oopsies

Y/N : —she was a dancer and I had just won a 5 thousand dollars hand of blackjack!

Y/N : she insisted we wed by sunrise ☺️

Y/N : she tried to pickpocket me the whole time ☺️

Curly : I guess that is beautiful?? In a way??

Y/N : her mobster boyfriend found us in the bridal suite of the Fremont Hotel

Y/N : and splattered her ALL over the wall ☺️

Anya : you just had to ask, huh 😑

Y/N : I was just happy I didn’t have to share my 5 thousand dollars 😌

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Nanook nsft alphabet

Author's Note: I was originally going to make a list of headcannons, when I realized that this would actually be a great prompt for them instead. So, I present to you: the nsft alphabet with the Aeon of destruction~ 💛

Pairings: Nanook x male reader

Credit: @/robothumpmycamel

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Despite being the Aeon of destruction, I do think Nanook would take good care of you after the fact. THEY can be surprisingly kind; tenderly touching any areas that hurt, or praising you for a job well done.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

As for THEMSELVES, THEY didn't pay special attention to THEIR own body before. It's not until THEY catch you admiring a specific body part that THEY take extra pride in THEIR appearance.

As for you, however, THEY admire your hands and arms — especially if you're muscular.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

So… you know how Nanook has gold ichor/blood dripping from THEIR wounds? I'd like to imagine that THEIR other bodily fluids are similar. THEIR tears are a more transparent gold, and THEIR semen is more of a milky gold hue. Or you could also picture THEIR cum being mostly white with glittery gold mixed in ✨ Sparkly gold piss as well 💀

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

……Don't tell anyone, but Nanook is a little embarrassed by how much THEY enjoy being your bottom 🤐

Aeons don't even know, nor care, about tops, bottoms, subs, or doms — but once you introduced THEM to the concept? THEY revel in the pleasure of submitting to THEIR human lover and taking your dick wherever you so please~

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

While THEY haven't actually had any sexual encounters prior to meeting you, Nanook is far from inexperienced. Perhaps it's due to some imitation of primal human instinct, or some other natural inclination — regardless, the god of destruction is the least virgin-like virgin.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Anything that keeps your bodies glued together. Smothering you against some surface is typically preferred, as is being the one smothered against a surface, when you top.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

100% serious. You'll never catch THEM acting silly, laughing, joking, etc etc. That's just not in line with THEIR personality.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I can't decide whether I like the idea of THEM being shaved or unshaved… I'm leaning more towards shaved, but Nanook definitely has a happy trail. And yes, all of THEIR body hair is white too ☺️

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Extremely clingy, number one. Number two, THEY can be rather romantic, though I suppose that depends on your definition of the word. Aeons aren't intimately familiar with the human concept of romance, per se, but Nanook's actions would probably classify as far more romantic than most other Aeons.

THEY are capable of doing romantic deeds, and THEY often do spoil you selflessly. You may not get a candlelit dinner or a calming bath together, but THEY show THEIR love in other, romantic forms.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Perhaps this is self-indulgent, but… I think THEY would look so hot masturbating 💀

HEAR ME OUT — picture Nanook, covered in a sheen of sweat, sitting on your bed with THEIR legs spread wide, and THEIR hand gliding up and down THEIR massive cock… tell me that doesn't make you at least a tiny bit feral.

Uh, yeah, ahem. I don't think THEY would touch THEMSELVES often, exactly, but if you wanted to watch THEM, and made it very clear that you find watching THEM touch THEMSELVES attractive, then yes I think THEY would indulge you graciously~ 💛

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Do Aeons have kinks? Dunno, but let's imagine that THEY do for a second.

Somnophilia — sometimes THEY'RE so desperate to have you that THEY can't wait until you're awake. THEY'LL slide it in while you're sleeping, or sink THEIR ass down on your cock without waking you.

Choking/suffocation (giving) — lord, do THEY love it when you plead for THEM to wrap THEIR strong hands around your weak human throat~ Or when you moan and whimper while THEY get you in a chokehold, squeezing you with THEIR arm. Covering your entire face with THEIR large hand is sexy too, as is pushing your entire face into a pillow or something while THEY destroy your ass~

Hair pulling (receiving) — PLEASE pull on THEIR braids when you fuck! Use them like strings on a puppet to control where THEIR head goes! Pull THEM up by THEIR pretty hair and show THEM who's really in charge!

Fingering (if that counts as a kink) — Mmmm fingers in your holes, stretching you wide open. Fingers in THEIR holes prodding around as if you're mapping out new territory. Making THEM finger THEMSELVES for your amusement. Fingers down your throat until your eyes cross. Fingers down THEIR throat as you tell THEM how sweet and lovely THEY are for you. Just, fingering in all its glory 👆

Breeding — how positively possessive it is to fill and be filled with THEIR partner's lewd life essence~ Nanook may be destruction itself, but THEY will happily breed you and be bred by you as if THEY can create new life.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

THEY don't have any strong preferences really, THEY'LL stick to whatever you prefer. Although, THEY will admit that the fantasy of taking you in front of a crowd is pretty hot. Letting everyone see who you belong to…

…Maybe the thought of being publicly fucked by you turns THEM on too. How shameful would it be for an Aeon—especially one as strong as Nanook—to be face down, ass up in front of THEIR followers while a human pounds THEIR boypussy and calls THEM all sorts of degrading names? 😳

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Nanook as a dom: Seeing you under them in some way, or purposefully acting submissive just to tempt THEM. And seeing you in a position where THEY can easily thrust inside of you (such as bending over, laying down, etc).

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nanook as a sub: Seeing you be bold, confident, and take control. This applies to any situation, really. Watching you stand up to another human would get THEIR dick hard just as much as watching you put THEM on THEIR knees and lure THEM into sub space.

Just in general: If you use the word 'destroy' in a sexual context. Whether that's begging for THEM to destroy your ass, or growling out how you're going to destroy THEIR ass.

Sharing. Sorry, but Nanook is POSSESSIVE AF and would not be receptive to the idea of sharing you with ANYONE. THEY would treat another partner as competition, and if THEY get jealous enough, or feel as if THEY'RE losing you, things will get messy…

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh, THEY love oral. Like, a lot. Seeing you choke on THEIR massive length is an easy way to make THEM cum. On the flip side, watching your face contort in pleasure while you fuck THEIR throat gets THEM going too.

THEY have zero gag reflex btw. You can shove the largest cock or toy in THEIR mouth and THEY'LL be able to take it without issue 😘

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Sensual for sure. THEY tend to err on the rougher side too, but THEY use both a fast pace and a slow pace equally.

Now, when you're topping THEM—THEY may have become addicted to taking your cock deep and fast. Just absolutely railing THEM until THEIR eyes roll back and unbecoming moans fall from THEIR drooling lips 🤫

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are ok, but not preferred. THEY'D rather take THEIR time and fuck properly, with passion and devotion.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yeah, I'd say so. THEY'RE not really afraid of trying new kinks, fetishes, or anything. Even more extreme/dangerous kinks will be fine.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

As an Aeon, THEY have crazy stupid stamina. Sometimes you can't even keep up — which makes Nanook quite frustrated, and THEY end up desperately fucking THEIR fist or fingering THEMSELVES until you can go another round (or 3… or 4… or 5… 💀)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not until you came along. You introduced THEM to the wonderful world of sex toys and got THEM addicted to having a vibrator in THEIR ass and/or on THEIR cock. There are occasions when dildos or other toys are acceptable, but generally, THEY prefer real cocks in THEIR holes. THEY especially dislike using toys on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It's hard to say; oftentimes, Nanook ends up teasing you accidentally because of THEIR insane stamina. THEY can hold out much longer, and THEY usually insist on cumming together, so you end up getting edged as THEY work towards an orgasm.

Sometimes the teasing is on purpose, but typically it's out of ignorance 😅

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Ok so I'm not super far into the game, and I'm not sure if any of the Aeons can canonically speak out loud, or if THEIR speeches vary from Aeon to Aeon, but this is what I think: Aeons are semi-verbal. Nanook doesn't typically speak out loud, but THEY sort of communicate telepathically? THEIR 'voice' comes through a little hazy and distant, more akin to an echo inside of your mind than a real voice. It's hard to explain.

SO– while Nanook doesn't speak much during sex, THEY do grunt, groan, moan, whine, etc etc. In fact, you're the reason THEY began to make noise at all. Feeling your hole squeeze THEM so good, or feeling your cock ravage THEIR insides brought out a side that THEY never knew THEY had in the first place!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Nanook really, really loves eye contact. But THEIR eyes are so intense, it's hard for any human (even someone who loves THEM beyond words) to maintain it for more than a minute. Prolonged eye contact usually makes you tear up and tremble, even if those aren't things that you typically do. THEIR gaze digs out this deep, intense feeling from your psyche.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

LARGE! THEY are large by human standards and god standards alike. THEIR dick is also uncut because I said so~

I HC Aeons' bodies to be four times the size of a normal human's (at minimum), so that would already make Nanook's junk pretty big, but then it's even bigger than that because I said so 😚

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I'm not going to say that it's all THEY think about, but… after meeting you, and having THEIR eyes opened to the pleasures of intimacy and sexuality, THEY gained a wild sex drive 😳

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Aeons don't really sleep, so Nanook doesn't pass out after sex. THEY will happily let you sleep though, even if that means THEY'LL get trapped under your body until you awake 💛

[alliisinwonderland05]

𝐈’𝐦 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲~

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Reader is mad at JJ for almost getting himself killed- again. He finds a way to make it up to you- based off of this ask- sorry it took so long!

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: MDNI, Unprotected sex, pet names, apology Sex- please let me know if I need to add anything!

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: I barely proofread this I'm sorry- Feedback is welcome :)

“JJ you can’t keep doing this! You could have died!"

You yell- on the verge of tears by now- Your boyfriend had somehow managed to almost get himself killed… again.

“Look I-I know that ok?! But I’m fine aren't I mama? Ten fingers, ten toes- all that good stuff”

You sniffle and a tear finally runs down your cheek. The second he sees it his face drops and he walks toward you, cupping your face in his hands and wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“Shit- I’m sorry baby- I’m sorry- I didn't mean to-"

You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your head into his chest- as pissed as you are you love him- and you’re so glad he’s ok.

“Come here mama-”

He pulls your face up to kiss you and you immediately grab his face and kiss him back, he picks you up by the back of your thighs and walks you into his bedroom- god he’s so strong- what were you mad about again?

He gently lays you down on the bed and mumbles apologies between kisses to your jaw and neck.

“JJ- stop apologizing and fuck me-please-”

“Not ‘till you forgive me mama-”

“Damnit JJ I forgive you-”

He cuts you off with a kiss, mumbling against your lips-

“Good”

You tug on his shirt and he takes it off- frowning when you notice the bruises.

“Hey- I’m ok sweetheart just a little dinged up yeah?”

You nod and reach for his belt as he tugs on your shirt - 

“Can ya take this off f’me sweet pea-”

you pull away to pull your shirt off before immediately going back to his pants- which are halfway undone- you fumble with them as you undo them but eventually push them down his legs as far as you can get them as he skillfully pops open the button to your shorts with one hand. Before you know it he’s kissing you sweetly as he thrusts into you at a mind- numbingly slow pace, still whispering apologies into your ear, as you run your nails down his back he chuckles breathlessly-

“That's my good girl- I’ll stop gettin’ myself into trouble like that baby i promise-”

“F-Faster Jay p-please?”

He smirks and immediately speeds up his pace, drilling directly into the spot that he never fails to find, the band in your stomach quickly tightens and threatens to snap as you throw your head back and moan his name-

“Shit- squeezin’ me so tight baby- shit you're close huh? I can feel it-”

He speaks breathlessly into your ear and you almost cum from that alone-

“J-Jay m’gonna-”

“I know baby- let go f’me..”

Blood rushes to your ears as you cum around him- you can barely make out the praise and I love you’s that he whispers into your ear as he reaches his own high and fucks his release into you.

“I forgive you”

You whisper as you both catch your breath.

Thank you @maybanksprincess for the idea!

[welcometogrouchland]

Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)

[ender1821]

shut up im coping

[ki1ldeer]

Playing with god designs idk

[olteacup]

HE HAS A TAIL

GIT GOD IS HE AN ALIEN?? GUYS I LOOOVE ALIENS HES SO? HES SOOOOOOOOO (ignore the fact i called him a nerd and a twink PLEASE)

OH MYYY HIS EYES PLEASE SAY HES AN ALIEN I GO FERALE

[thedukeside]

I'm not here to stir up shit. I've got no skin in this game anymore, but I think it's important to remind the community about just how long these communication issues have been prevalent amongst Thomas productions. For example, I was at my peak-obsession with Sander Sides at 14. The signs started cropping up of a sinking ship while I was in my first year of high school. Disgruntled artists, lackadaisical deadlines, and silenced staff members were the norm. Now I'm about to turn 21.

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

It's hard being someone who does genuinely get infuriated with Ford's actions and acknowledges a lot of his flaws and the people he hurt, while also liking (and relating) to his character enough that I would like him to have nice things sometimes and don't believe he's satan

[tastytoastz]

Me after Tazercraft casually drops they got kidnapped IRL!

[sp00ks-in-th3-cl0s3t]

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I know people argue about Envy and Nuzi a lot and personally I like Nuzi more but would it too bold to say I'm not a huge fan of Envuzi either?? Actually tbh I prefer just the canon ships, I love crackshipping but I actually prefer canon for Murder Drones.

[http-byler]

I’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say, I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.

[nightmare8-420]

i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 24

"What is this place?" Manon asked Glennis as she found the crone polishing the handle of a gold-bound broom beside the fire. Two others lay on a cloak nearby. Menial work for the witch in charge of this camp.

"This is an ancient camp-one of the oldest we claim." Glennis's knobbed fingers flew over the broom handle. "Each of the seven Great Hearths has a fire here, as do many others." Indeed, there were far more than seven in the camp. "It was a gathering place for us after the war, and since then, it had become a place to usher in some of our younger witches to adulthood. It is a rite we've developed over the years—to send them into the deep wilds for a few weeks to hunt and survive with only their brooms and a knife. We remain here while they do so."

Manon asked quietly, "Do you know what our initiation rite is?"

Glennis's face tightened. "I do. We all do." Which hearth had the witch she'd killed at age sixteen belonged to?

"You're not a cold person."

He arched a brow. "Is that your professional opinion?"

Manon studied him. "You can descend to those levels when you are angry, when your friends are threatened. But you are not cold, not at heart. I've seen men who are, and you are not."

"Neither are you," he said a bit quietly.

The wrong thing to say.

Manon stiffened, her chin lifting. "I am one hundred seventeen years old," she said flatly. "I have spent the majority of that time killing. Don't convince yourself that the events of the past few months have erased that."

"Keep telling yourself that." He doubted anyone had ever spoken to her that baldly-relished that he now did, and kept his throat intact.

She snarled in his face. "You're a fool if you believe the fact that I am their queen wipes away the truth that I have killed scores of Crochans."

"That fact will always remain. It's how you make it count now that matters."

Make it count. Aelin had said as much back in those initial days after he'd been freed of the collar. He tried not to wonder whether the icy bite of Wyrdstone would soon clamp around his neck once more.

"I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be, even if I wear their crown of stars."

He'd heard the whispers about that crown amongst the Crochans this week-about whether it would be found at last. Rhiannon Crochan's crown of stars, stolen from her dying body by Baba Yellowlegs herself. Where it had gone after Aelin had killed the Matron, Dorian had not the faintest idea. If it had stayed with that strange carnival she'd traveled with, it could be anywhere. Could have been sold for quick coin.

Manon went on, "If that is what the Crochans expect me to become before they join in this war, then I will let them venture to Eyllwe tomorrow alone."

"Is it so bad, to care?" The gods knew he'd been struggling to do so himself.

"I don't know how to," she growled.

Ridiculous. An outright lie. Perhaps it was because of the high likelihood that he'd be collared again at Morath, perhaps it was because he was a king who'd left his kingdom in an enemy's grip, but Dorian found himself saying, "You do care. You know it, too. It's what makes you so damn scared of all this."

Her golden eyes raged, but she said nothing.

"Caring doesn't make you weak," he offered.

"Then why don't you heed your own advice?"

"I care." His temper rose to meet hers. And he decided to hell with it-decided to let go of that leash he'd put on himself. Let go of that restraint. "I care about more than I should. I even care about you."

Another wrong thing to say.

Manon stood—as high as the tent would allow. "Then you're a fool." She shoved on her boots and stomped into the frigid night.

I even care about you.

Manon scowled as she turned in her sleep, wedged between Asterin and Sorrel. Only hours remained until they were to move out—to head to Eyllwe and whatever force might be waiting to ally with the Crochans. And in need of help.

Caring doesn't make you weak.

The king was a fool. Little more than a boy.

What did he know of anything?

Still the words burrowed under her skin, her bones. Is it so bad, to care?

She didn't know. Didn't want to know.

[inktoony]

I need this zest fest DEAD

[ratcandy]

i've decided that the only cotl art i will rb ever will be of npcs that don't matter and that's IT!!!!!! idon't WANT to see main characters anymore I want to see those guys