#I WAS LIKE PLEASE BE /J FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE /J BUT THEY WERE /SRS

[trainingthots]

This cannot be to me Delicacy Love,

I do not think if you as anything of the sort, and if anyone is the Narcissistic Ass it is me. I love every single one of your flaws, especially your tendency to project your insecurity onto others. I do the same things only much worse. I am not using anything against you, i do not fight against you. Its one if the problems in our relationship, that i never could tell you no and that your self loathing meant my love for you made me the least desirable person in the god damn world to you. This man, so easy to degrade and humiliate, to use and despise their girl, got spun around and lost when i met you and fell in love. All of a sudden out of my element i only wanted to love, care and respect you, but had no idea how to do that because of the toxic awful person i was. When i felt like j was never going to get to love you and have you completely, i frustrated and angry at myself for being so ineffectual at the one thing i wanted did what i always do, fuck it all up and pretend that i only failed because it wasnt worth doing. How wrong i was. How wrong i still am if i make you feel this way. But the facts dont line up. I have not been critical of you, i am dealing with pain and loss, but it is helping me realize my awful mistakes and filling me with regret and the urge to do better and right by you. This is once again orobably not for me but for the man you actually love. I am so tired of gim being the one who breaks your heart. I am not the jealous type, but i am amgry that while i am hurt from finding out about all my pain and losing you, i feel so much empathy for you being jn pain from losing him. I am a total pathetic mess. I am sorry for your loss, and i hope to be there for you while you grieve.

You are not unlovable, and the abandonment thing is something i have always accepted and ignored. You have abandoned me so many times its ludicrous. I am not belittling you. I am trying to understand your growth and change while ignoring my own pain. Once again i am not doing the best job, but i am trying.

Nothing I do or post js against you. If someone is doing that it is not me. There is a lot of stuff done in my name that is not me these days. Close your eyes, open your heart and know i would never intentionally hurt you. It is all love from me. I will not criticize you, i will not shame you, i will not even tell people what is going on with me because it risks people thinking poorly on you, and i will not have it.

Forever Your Cheerleader,

The Marquis De Sad

Unlovable

To you,

I'm a narcissist and you know it's true. I've projected all my insecurities just to protect this fragile ego. Now that you've exposed me, I can admit the truth about my low self-esteem and self-worth. I'm temperamental and throw tantrums like a child. I'm narrow-minded and get defensive in arguments. I hide the truth about my life because I genuinely hate myself and all my flaws. It's who I am. 

Thank you for showing me how little respect you have for me. I now understand your intentions of making me feel the pain and dishonesty I have inflicted onto you. There's no need for defending myself at this point if you feel encouraged to make me feel like the most ruthless immature person that has existed. I'm glad you feel a sense of fulfillment in your quest to making me aware of the hateful person I am. 

It's true that I'm unlovable. Everything I attach myself to doesn't truly belong to me. I chose to abandon both myself and others, so please continue writing about how much you despise me. Use everything against my will to prove to me that I was a mistake in your life. I deserve to be agonized and shamed for trying to love you.

You said it yourself that I look like shit, so please let me continue to deteriorate alone. I am unworthy of love and believe I will continue to be just an option. To tell you the truth, you were the first person I felt comfortable being around without a mask. I could be my most authentic autistic self with you, without fear that you'd abandon me for my weirdness. When I felt unsafe, you were always the first person I’d turn to because I gave you the key to my tender heart. I guess it never meant anything anyways.

The narcissist in me is frustrated that I can't control your desire to use my pictures, trauma, and love against me. If you wish to continue belittling me just to prove how terrible a human I am, you've already done an amazing job. And still, I can never hate you because I already hate my life, and you don't deserve that. I'm sorry for being unlovable. 

Me

February the last, 1966 Anne Sexton, from Complete Poems

[luminique]

i had like the worst thought of my life which was that lighter actually lost a lot during his early days in the fighting rings. we know him now as the undefeated champion but i don’t think it was easy earning that title.

a no name, an underdog, a good for nothing leader, a coward. he was handicapped due to his injury, an easy opponent to take down and throw around was what they saw him as. to pay back the debts, he needed to win. without winning, that meant no money. the longer he had no money, the higher the interest rate would go up.

it was a lot for a young man who had so much ripped away from him in a blink of an eye. the flickering light was the only thing that helped him see the practice target in front of him. a dingy alleyway, a spare med kit that he brought with him after leaving that place he once called home. now only a building that housed memories, a meeting place for him and the ghosts of his companions.

his knuckles were bruised, his nails leaving crescents in the palm of his hand. practice in the day time, fight during the night, an hour of sleep if he was lucky. you don’t improve over night, you don’t rest until you’re sure of yourself. his losses had outweighed his wins, evident from the ever-growing bruises on his body. yet he didn’t stop, he refused to stop. and so did his rise to the top, continuing to win, as if he were playing dominoes. one opponent after another, one fight to the next, an unstoppable momentum to rack up the money and the bets in his favor.

“it’s just a title. nothing much to it. it sounds pretty cool though.” he shrugged off when a fan had asked him about it. people don’t need to know his past, who he was before the sons of calydon, before the ‘undefeated champion’. the man behind the sunglasses and the red scarf was once also a losing dog, but new tricks, a bone and an opportunity came right at him. the scarf acting as not only a reminder for others but for himself too and what he has now sworn to fight for.

[ender1821]

shut up im coping

[ki1ldeer]

Playing with god designs idk

[certainlyathrill]

being in ur early 20s as a beatles fan is kinda horrifying bc when paul mccarntey was your age he wrote yesterday and ur just posting on tumblr

[olteacup]

HE HAS A TAIL

GIT GOD IS HE AN ALIEN?? GUYS I LOOOVE ALIENS HES SO? HES SOOOOOOOOO (ignore the fact i called him a nerd and a twink PLEASE)

OH MYYY HIS EYES PLEASE SAY HES AN ALIEN I GO FERALE

[tastytoastz]

Me after Tazercraft casually drops they got kidnapped IRL!

[mikeyway-creates]

Bright Lights Big City smut? In this economy? YES!!!! Yaoi for all!

"Have me by the Leash of my Tie"

Summary: There's something about Tad Allagash, and how he'll waltz around, dancing between the crowds with his drink in hand as his tie swished around as well.

It did somthing to Jamie, how he wanted to pull him into a kiss by his tie, drag him, choke him by it, treat it like a leash and collar.

Maybe he'll get his wish tonight- or soon with how his luck is turning up.

[inktoony]

I need this zest fest DEAD

[ratcandy]

i've decided that the only cotl art i will rb ever will be of npcs that don't matter and that's IT!!!!!! idon't WANT to see main characters anymore I want to see those guys

[yea-baiyi]

sorry i haven’t been posting lately i’ve been bingeing on random cnovels that got recommended on twitter. help me i have reread thrice married to salted fish (三嫁咸鱼）four times. i read an mpreg book by accident and i was rooting for the mpreg. i would say i need help but honestly i’m having the time of my life and no one can stop me. i’m taking recommendations

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 24

"What is this place?" Manon asked Glennis as she found the crone polishing the handle of a gold-bound broom beside the fire. Two others lay on a cloak nearby. Menial work for the witch in charge of this camp.

"This is an ancient camp-one of the oldest we claim." Glennis's knobbed fingers flew over the broom handle. "Each of the seven Great Hearths has a fire here, as do many others." Indeed, there were far more than seven in the camp. "It was a gathering place for us after the war, and since then, it had become a place to usher in some of our younger witches to adulthood. It is a rite we've developed over the years—to send them into the deep wilds for a few weeks to hunt and survive with only their brooms and a knife. We remain here while they do so."

Manon asked quietly, "Do you know what our initiation rite is?"

Glennis's face tightened. "I do. We all do." Which hearth had the witch she'd killed at age sixteen belonged to?

"You're not a cold person."

He arched a brow. "Is that your professional opinion?"

Manon studied him. "You can descend to those levels when you are angry, when your friends are threatened. But you are not cold, not at heart. I've seen men who are, and you are not."

"Neither are you," he said a bit quietly.

The wrong thing to say.

Manon stiffened, her chin lifting. "I am one hundred seventeen years old," she said flatly. "I have spent the majority of that time killing. Don't convince yourself that the events of the past few months have erased that."

"Keep telling yourself that." He doubted anyone had ever spoken to her that baldly-relished that he now did, and kept his throat intact.

She snarled in his face. "You're a fool if you believe the fact that I am their queen wipes away the truth that I have killed scores of Crochans."

"That fact will always remain. It's how you make it count now that matters."

Make it count. Aelin had said as much back in those initial days after he'd been freed of the collar. He tried not to wonder whether the icy bite of Wyrdstone would soon clamp around his neck once more.

"I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be, even if I wear their crown of stars."

He'd heard the whispers about that crown amongst the Crochans this week-about whether it would be found at last. Rhiannon Crochan's crown of stars, stolen from her dying body by Baba Yellowlegs herself. Where it had gone after Aelin had killed the Matron, Dorian had not the faintest idea. If it had stayed with that strange carnival she'd traveled with, it could be anywhere. Could have been sold for quick coin.

Manon went on, "If that is what the Crochans expect me to become before they join in this war, then I will let them venture to Eyllwe tomorrow alone."

"Is it so bad, to care?" The gods knew he'd been struggling to do so himself.

"I don't know how to," she growled.

Ridiculous. An outright lie. Perhaps it was because of the high likelihood that he'd be collared again at Morath, perhaps it was because he was a king who'd left his kingdom in an enemy's grip, but Dorian found himself saying, "You do care. You know it, too. It's what makes you so damn scared of all this."

Her golden eyes raged, but she said nothing.

"Caring doesn't make you weak," he offered.

"Then why don't you heed your own advice?"

"I care." His temper rose to meet hers. And he decided to hell with it-decided to let go of that leash he'd put on himself. Let go of that restraint. "I care about more than I should. I even care about you."

Another wrong thing to say.

Manon stood—as high as the tent would allow. "Then you're a fool." She shoved on her boots and stomped into the frigid night.

I even care about you.

Manon scowled as she turned in her sleep, wedged between Asterin and Sorrel. Only hours remained until they were to move out—to head to Eyllwe and whatever force might be waiting to ally with the Crochans. And in need of help.

Caring doesn't make you weak.

The king was a fool. Little more than a boy.

What did he know of anything?

Still the words burrowed under her skin, her bones. Is it so bad, to care?

She didn't know. Didn't want to know.

[strawberri-syrup]

i love bitching about things and am constantly impressed by how often i complain about grizzly in dms.

[miss-nielle]

oh.

[eddie-3xists]

the ONLY trigun fanfiction being currently updated thats centric around knives is a NSFW AU fic with female pov .

[mikey-stardust-way]

When mjfox is smug looking it makes me feral like I want that man on a LEASH NOW!!!!