#I WAS IMMEDIATELY LIKE YEAH YOU WERE A PARENT AT ONE POINT WERENT YOU LMAO YOU REMIND ME WAY TOO MUCH OF MY FATHER 💀

[roseofcards90]

The Shidou hate I’ve been seeing recently is so fucking funny omg LMAO HUMBLE THAT MAN RN BEFORE HE THINKS HE CAN CHOOSE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES JUST BECAUSE HE’S A DOCTOR 😭💀

[bananaman-pdf]

k im back. fourteen

okay so theyre doing it. escaping to go home with maven! bonding moment ahead, i can feel it.

oh wait cal is coming with them? aaaaand weve got ourselves an obligatory awkward moment where the protagonist catches one of the guys bare-chested™. sigh. well whatever. girls be thirsty ig. lets point out how hes got a bruise near his heart?? is he okay?? i suppose he is but ouch.

cal. cal, you adorable man. what are you so nervous about?

oh wait so maven asked cal to help mare go to her home. ohhhhh. that makes sense.

cal obviously thinks its a bad idea but mare takes no shit. she wants to go home. so cal agrees. i should mention how adorably funny mares excitement is. like a toddler lmao.

maven isnt coming :(

MARE HUGGED HIM AAAA

But just because he isn’t coming doesn’t mean I will forget what he’s done for me already.

mare your soul is beautiful.

shes feeling more comfortable with them!

…but this mightve been immediately regressed as soon as she saw the war armor. and also the books on war tactics- i wanna point out they are written in a language called “Common” of norta, the lakelanders and piedmont?? -but back to mare, shes clearly Not In Board with this. she sees the war as the lives of many reds being lost for the silvers benefit.

its also implied that cal was expecting to play chess with maven. im pretty sure its chess.

she catches a glance at scars on his back. he keeps them despite having access to healers to tend to them. this is interesting. since he is shown to be the type to see past his own glamorous life and privilege, im guessing he keeps them as a reminder of his peoples suffering. maybe hes trying to connect with the people he knows little to nothing about, and thats why he also sneaks out pretending to be red.

they leave, and cal leads her to a… basement storage room. im genuinely confused why are there weird metal shapes that move in here. mare is suddenly passive-aggressively complainig about his huge armor closet. i get that shes mad at how close hes to the whole war tactic planning but… its not like hes got much choice is it.

he responds honestly saying he doesnt want to wear armor when he bring her to her family as to not make them feel threatened i suppose?

“[…] We don’t want your family getting the wrong idea, do we?”

“What idea do we want them to get? I don’t think I’m exactly allowed to introduce you properly.

mares got a good point. honestly i just assumed they were gonna have a walk around the stilts and see her acquaintances and loved ones from afar. wouldnt going to her home and talking to her parent require a plan or an explanation that isnt “ive been betrothed to one of the princes because they found out i have powers. oh yeah, i have powers! neat huh? so as i was saying, ill have to pretend to be a princess for the rest of my life and this might be the last time i get to see you all.”

oh ok so theyll pretend they took mare in to work for the royals like at the beginning and cal will be her ride. oh yeah cal has a motorbike which is cool as shit. but also… if this werent a fantasy universe this would look hella cliché.

he built it- yeah ok that is pretty damn awesome.

mare hesitates at first but obviously gives in and puts the helmet on. she wants to go home, damnit.

she got so nervous she held onto him so hard he had to pry her off. and i mean, its her first time on a bike obviously shed be pretty scared.

also she missed his warmth as soon as she let go. makes sense that shed be at least a little touch starved. aw.

mare takes the chance to ask him, in her own way (making remarks about how often he does this and all), why he wants to hang out in red bars rather than his luxurious palace. he comments that hes going to be king one day and doesnt get to be selfish. mare points out the king should be the only one who does. and it mqkes sense cause thats how she sees it. the only way shes known how to live is stealing and risking her life. and shes seen the silvers get everything they need and want. it has frustrated her understandably.

cal finally answers. the king should know his people. yeah i called it. makes sense! he wants to empathize with them. hes doing what he can. hes trying to be a good leader. to see what the world is like instead of being told how it is by everyone else.

“[…] My father does everything he can to keep us safe, and so will I.”

“My world is already in ruin,” […] “Your father keeps your people safe, not mine.”

ouch. but true.

cal tells her that it would cost them they alliance to other kingdoms. that theyd be tron apart by them. which… makes sense. but mare believes its possible to make it better. that norta could be the start.

the conversation dies as they make it to her home. cal waits outside bc he noticed how nervous mare was, the sweetheart, but she tells him to join anyway. they go in she and wakes up his brothers bree and tramy first. mom and dad join in as they notice whats going on. everyone is happy to seer her. well. gisa only pokes her head out. and wheres shade??

they congratulate her on getting a job, and comment that the story for the brothers discharge and their full pension was a lottery they won.

Up above us, Gisa scoffs. […] “Yes, we’re very lucky,”

poor girl. shes lost her hand for all these things to happen. it feels more like a trade than actual luck to her. she gives mare the cold shoulder and asks about cal. which is a bit hurtful but… fair, from her point of view.

dad know hes not from around there. cal quickly makes up a story of how hes from harbor bay and changes his accent which i gotta admit, good quick thinking! he comments how the servants travel a lot, which prompts her mom to be horrified. mare remarks that its good money. i mean its definitely better than stealing, from their point of view mares doing an honest attempt at working.

bree is suspicious and makes a comment about liking kilorn better. lmao.

oh fuck. is shade dead???

“He tried to run away. He was executed. Beheaded.”

holy shit. dude. things are getting real.

mare is so angry shes making lightbulbs buzz. guess the act is about be up.

she makes a mess, cal cant get to her and everyone already knows. mare angry because they found out shade was in the scarlet guard. and yeah, thats more likely. before she looses herself completely, though, kilorn comes in. he snaps her out of it.

but obviously the bug secret is out. and at first kilorn think it was the silvers doing, but she tells him its just her. he acts like shes a complete stranger despite her family clearly stating that she is red. cmon dude, shes going through a lot and you decide to pull that?

“Give me a knife and I’ll settle this right now,” I say, glaring back at him. “I’ll show you what color I bleed.”

she clearly means it, dude, stop that.

she explains everything. leaving out mr jacos’ findings, bc cal is there. she points out she doesnt know if theyll ever understand how or why she is the way she is. and i mean yeah, its one hell of an exception. she breaks the “rules”.

cal pretends to be a bodyguard now, and tells her its time to go. her whole family thankfully agrees to keep the secret, but kilorns fucking mad for some reason.

mare and cal leave, and he tries to comfort her about shade, but shes so close to loosing it she stops him, saying she needs to make one last stop.

its to wills!! she goes there to tell him everything, but he already knows somehow??

oh, some dude named tristan, also from the guard told him. shit, wills got some acquaintances, doesnt he?

tristan nearly bolts when he learns one of the princes is outside. of course he would! killing or kidnapping a prince? holy shit! he calls her a silver for “protecting him” but mare points out that cals pretty damn good at defending himself using his fire.

she makes her reason for presence there clear: shades dead because of the guard and she wants to use her princess privilege to help the cause. nice, short and sweet. and absolutely perfect to kick in some plot.

she shakes hands with will and seals the deal. shes in deep now. and im a delighted by finally seeing what i came in for.

so yeah, she goes back with cal thinking abt how theyre enemies now. and how weird it is that theyre both so nice to her. him and maven. i also wonder why. they both grew up surrounded by people that hate reds. how are they so tolerant?

when theyre about to leave on the sick motorbike ohmygod kilorn shows up. he better be here to say sorry.

no, hes just here to be sad about mare leaving. i mean of course he is. they were besties. he wants her to stay. cal has to step in to intimidate him just slightly to let go. im glad he didnt have to do anything too harsh. and that he tried to keep his composure as best as possible.

“You bargained for me too, to save me from conscription,”

yeah! so understand shits not cheap!

and as they leave kilorn says hell tell farley she said hello. oh god hes gonna join the guard too.

[butterbeeryuta]

chenle as your best friend

ok so like the 2 of you met when ya'll were about 6-7 at some summer art programme

at that age, you just liked to see colour on paper regardless if it looked shit or not.

NOW, chenle sits beside you right and he notices be doesn't have a blue crayon with him, but omg! you have it (a/n: cries in cliché)

so this kid who's prob wearing the finest clothes from head to toe just grabs your blue crayon from the tray— and boy are you annoyed and angry

'hey you could've at least asked!'

'well can I use the blue crayon?'

'oh... i guess yeah'

lmao you were such an awkward bean (still are)

anyway after the whole crayon thing, you were waiting for your mum/dad/guardian to pick you up, and so was chenle. chenle then sat beside you again and ya'll just started talking and playing together

ya'll were in different schools. but that didn't stop the 2 of you to meet each other on almost e v e r y weekened, like

'hey i got the uno machine, wanna play on saturday?'

'chenle i have test on monday'

'it's an uno machine'

'okay yeah sure.'

so when ya'll were like 11-13 (puberty ew), ppl started questioninh your friendship and was asking if it's mORe than that— but lol it's not

you just enjoyed having each other around since ya'lls characters balances out so well; chenle is far far more loud, cheerful, and optimistic. whereas you're more on the 'serious' side and usually stays quiet— but you have a galaxy brain soOooO

so whenever ppl do ask, the two of you say 'no,' but then again,,,, who tf will take 'no' for an answer

SO 15-16, zhong chenle moved to korea to be a part of nct dream, and it was painful for the two of you

you went to drop him off at the airport, and he promised to you that he'll try to message and call you as much as possible while you hug him tightly cause you really don't want him to go even though you know he deserves it and it's just pure emo hours at this point

so during his training years he tells you all the good tea like 'omg there's like 6 chinese members here whoAaaa' 'yo yo yo there's this guy named taeyong andD HE IS SO COOL WHOAAAAAA' and it's so cute and ur really happy he's having fun, but you do miss him a lot

eventually chenle also misses you a lot, and he starts to tell renjun, winwin, and basically everyone about how he misses his best friend y/n ~soft~ hours are open

CHENLE DEBUTS YEy. you're having like severe palpitations rn cause that's ur fucking best friend living his dream like yEAH!!!! you tell your parents, your friend group, your chemistry tutor, your dog, the cashier— EVERYONE god you're annoying skjskjdkssk

you message chenle a LOT!

'DUDE WTF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT'

'goddamn ya'll look so cute and the song does nOT help'

'also is that the jeno guy? he really cute 🤭'

but ofc, he's busy. and yeah, he hasn't been responding as much as before. although you understood his busy schedule, you can't help but feel disappointed and sad.

BUT, whenever he does get time, i promise you he apologises and calls you whenever he can. chenle is a sweetheart, he'd never betray you like that.

OK SO FAST FORWARD TO 2019 BOOM ERA

so like any other typical fic, you managed to book yourself to korea and surprise your best friend for his birthdayyyyy

over the years you got to know renjun a lot through messages and calls since he always joins chenle when ya'll call each other so yeah— renjun is THAT guy

kneeways, you and renjun talked abt the plans, the cakes, and even helped you with korean so that you'd be able to talk to the rest of the members (and maybe jeno if ur confident enough but let's be honest, they've ALL become gorgeous humans you must be insanse to think you'd be able to talk to them casually)

you've arrived in gimpo airport, renjunnie arranged someone to pick you up— and it's time to surprise your best friend lele

so yeah while jisung and chenle were filming, you got to help out with the decorations and stuff with the rest of the dreamies.

the boys were all so nice to you despite the language barrier,

'AHHH so ur the friend chenle keeps talking about, do you know any shit that he does so we can use it to blackmail him or some—'

'haechan it's his birthday, calm the fuck down for one second.' renjun being the true dom he is

OkaYY SO THEY COMING and you were panicking cause you havent seen him in years and you werent sure what to do and just before they came in ofc you tripped

chenle started laughing and screaming. he was so overwhelmed with the surprise, until he saw you flat on the floor probably moaning in pain

'Y/nnnNnnnNNN??!' THE KID IS SHOOK

'Uh yeah, listen i wanna give you a hug and all but help your friend out'

he immediately went over to you and helped u up and ya'LL just hugged and like he lifted you up a little and he's just so happy rn and he doesnt know what to do except to hold you

'AWWWWWWWWWW' -00 line

you genuinely start crying cause you missed his chaotic and happy ass so much. you looked up at him and you can tell he's changed so much. you saw from pics that he has changed, but you didnt fully acknowledge how much he grew up.

he starts laughing at your emotional and crying state and hugs you even more— it's all cute stuff at this point

'okay uhh i know ya'll miss each other and stuff, but chenle your cake is gonne melt' - park jisung, 2019

ya'll celebrated, ya'll spilled stories about each other, and everyone just had a good time

'jeno hyung y/n has a crush on you'

that little fucker

chenle couldnt have been happier, and neither could you

a/n: okay please hate me all you want i've been silent for so fucking long. university applications have started and i have to meet deadlines and shit so yeah, i've been prioritising my school work these days. laces and things WILL continue from December onwards cause i'll be on break then, so please stay patient. also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LELE. he's been my bias in dream for god knows how long, and he's such a loving and cute guy, how can you not love him. i hope you had the best birthday with the ppl who genuinely deserve you.

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

[blookmallow]

so it turns out windhelm is not a very friendly place at all 

i read something about dark elves living in windhelm in one of my books, and also heard it was the stormcloak capital so i made my way there to see if i could learn anything about that 

i very quickly learned it is Not actually a good place to be a dark elf at all

why can i even say this lmao. “yes, you should definitely be racist toward me. i dont belong here” 

how fucking rude do you gotta be to say this to my face fuck you

me: [minding my own business]

this random fuck: hello I love racism 

i didnt even pick a fight with him he just walked up and started threatening me so we ended up getting into a tavern brawl (and everyone else in the room was just like YEAH GET HIM lmao) 

i completely smashed him and hes scared of me now but still continues wandering around being racist and awful. i REALLY want to kill him lmao but i dont think hes. killable. i gave a valiant effort but he just gets staggered for a minute and wont die even if i just walk up to him and take a sword to his face (i got very frustrated and was reloading from saves just trying to see if it was Possible to kill him) (i thought maybe my arrows just werent doing enough damage or something bc i was trying to stealth kill him so i could get away with it but. nah he just doesnt die) 

why the fuck is this guy of all people immortal. is it because they anticipated players wanting to kill him and were like “fuck you” 

had a very surreal moment in candlehearth hall; heard the voice of a woman singing (the only female bard I had ever seen at this point didn’t sing, just played music, so I hadn’t heard this before) 

she had a very pretty voice but i couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, and she was singing a song about the Dragonborn 

so it was just. this weird moment of “who is this woman she sounds beautiful but where is she!!” “wait she’s singing about me” 

i found her eventually and managed to accidentally time it perfectly so that her song about the arrival of the Dragonborn ended the moment i walked up to her. it was a very strange experience 

she also sings a song in praise of Ulfric and the stormcloaks, which is oddly the exact same song I’ve heard other bards singing in praise of the empire calling for Ulfric’s death, with the words slightly changed

which could just be lazy writing, but to me it seems to imply that either the original song was written by the rebels and later appropriated by the empire, or that the original was written by the empire to spread negative impressions of the stormcloaks but was then reclaimed by them as a kind of “the empire’s propaganda is our battle cry now” defiance and im not sure which one i like better (and have no idea which one it actually is) (or. if it’s just laziness lmao) 

h....hm. thats. terrifying,

im dying though bc years ago i found this one audio post of someone doing a kermit imitation and saying the dark brotherhood oath with stabbing noises in the background and like. i didnt know what it Was i just thought it was hilarious 

so my only context for that oath is “dark kermit” and i was not prepared to run into the actual thing in its original context i still read it in that kermit voice i hate this :’  ) 

EXCUSE ME THERE IS A CHILD SLEEPING ON THE STONE IN THE SNOW THIS IS NOT OKAY ?? ? ?? 

I THOUGHT SHE WAS FUCKING DEAD

oh no here we go again

i know i probably shouldn’t impulsively adopt the first two orphaned children i find but. she’s gonna fucking die out here WHY DOESNT ANYONE DO ANYTHING. WHY WONT THE INNKEEPER LET HER STAY THERE OR SOMETHING

shes selling flowers to try to stay alive and i dont need them but i bought All of them

hmm

ah. i see 

im guessing this is probably like. a mystery shack tourist thing where its just an empty book and he tells everyone the Book Of Fate story and just watches them freak out when they see that its blank for them im laughing

this little museum is so good 

i forget what started me on the quest originally but people were talking about how this house was Cursed and you should Never Go There so naturally i picked the lock and snuck in, immediately overhearing This going on, but thATS A CHILD’S VOICE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN HERE 

OH this is bad. this is so bad what the fuck what the fuck 

KID WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING 

ALSO WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THIS STUFF

i guess the bEST case scenario is he stole it from a grave, 

so hes an orphan who got sent to an orphanage that turned out to be run by, he claims, an evil woman he hates so fucking much he tried to summon the dark brotherhood to kill her 

i found him first and played along with it so now he thinks im a dark brotherhood assassin. im gonna go check it out and see what the fuck is going on later 

yikes,

aventus, a kid who now owns a home because his parents are both dead, was sent to an orphanage to be cared for because the jarl couldn’t allow him to live there alone unsupervised, yet sofie is out there starving in the cold trying to sleep on the stone streets and selling flowers to stay alive and he doesnt do a goddamn fuckin thing for her. explain this 

i still dont totally get the politics of this land but i dont think i trust ulfric at all actually 

and this city is the first time ive encountered people being actively racist and hostile toward me for being a dark elf, so like, even though my first impulse was to side with the stormcloaks (bc Rebels Fighting The Tyranny Of The Government, the imperials tried to execute me and several of them without a trial or explanation, religious persecution, ) i dont think i like them either 

[wanna1things]

Mafia AU! Park Woojin

yall i love park woojin

Genre;; kinda fluff + friends to lovers AGAIN WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND THIS and angsty themes?? + mafia AU

Warnings;;  yes there’s def some violence here

Pairing;; Park Woojin x reader

Requested;; yes by anon here and also here

Summary;; You’re reunited with your old best friend in the strangest of ways….

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 2204

Others in the series;; Daniel | Jihoon | Minhyun | Seongwoo

masterlist • request rules • request something

me? posting before midnight? interesting...

you never forgot park woojin

you two were neighbours ever since you were born, you were best friends from the very start

you were literally inseparable even in school

woojin once cried so hard they had to call his parents in because he wasn't put in the same class as you so he had to change class HDKKF

but really,, you two were more like the same person than anything else

you'd spend all of your time together, always going to each other's houses and sleeping over I mean you were neighbours

when woojin got a trampoline you were there almost every day to play on it

and when you got a game console he was always over at yours to play on it

but one day he disappeared suddenly with no word said to you

it was the middle of high school, you two had stopped being in the same classes all the time and although you each had your own group of friends you two were ,,, the closest

still spending most of your time together and doing homework together for the classes you shared

but then woojin missed a day of school

and then another

and another

until it was a whole week

you immediately thought the worst, that he was sick

so after you got home from school that day you ran straight to his house only to see a 'for sale' sign in the yard and the house completely empty

when you got back to your house you asked your parents about it and they just mumbled something about the mafia

and just like that you never saw him again

you got on with your life, but it was difficult

you hadn't got a friend to say everything to anymore

nobody as close to you

and it made you feel very,, alone

and if what your parents had said about the mafia was true then

for all you know woojin could be a gangster or worse, dead

you'd just never know now

but you poured yourself into your work

you studied as hard as possible, partially because it was a distraction but also because something in you made you think that maybe, just maybe, if you did well woojin would be proud of you

wherever he was, that is

and you really did do well

you went to one of the top colleges in the country with a high gpa

but even though you'd succeeded it didn't feel right

you didn't have woojin there to celebrate with you

you didn't have woojin going to college with you

it was... different

but you got on with it

you found a small apartment in the suburbs to live in while you attended uni, and although it was kind of cramped it was homey and also very cheap

your friends at college said it was ,, in a kind of dodgy area,,, but you ignored them because well

you'd never seen anything bad happened and your neighbours were a crazy cat lady and a photographer how dodgy could it be???

that was until you were walking home one day, later than usual

you'd been doing work in the library for an essay that was due in a few weeks time

when you came across something odd - dodgy

3 men stood with their guns pointed towards another man on his own, with his own gun

all the men had your backs to you but

one of them seemed familiar

you approached further, making sure they didn't notice you because haha you didn't want to be shot

he... reminded you of someone

or was he the someone he was reminding you of?

wait

it's?

"Woojin?"

it was only a whisper but

the man closest to you, turned around, his gun pointing to the floor

and as he looked you in the eye you knew

it was definitely woojin

as much as you wanted to run to him and hug him for 2991934 hours to make up for the years you'd missed together

there was a dangerous situation

just as one of the other men tutted and turned to woojin

the person they were all facing ran away into the night

the tallest man fired in the mans disappearing shadow before walking off, followed by the other man

"Woojin? Are you coming with us?"

"I'm just going to stay here for a bit. See if he comes back."

the tallest hummed in approval before turning to walk away

"You shouldn't have lost focus."

as soon as they were out of sight woojin ran over to you and hugged you tighter than you've ever been hugged before

"I've missed you so much, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

you smiled into his shoulder and took a deep breath

"It's okay, as long as you're okay it's all okay."

he pulled back from the hug and looked at your face properly, lit up by the streetlights

"You've gotten prettier, I'm sure!"

you rolled your eyes at him and smacked his shoulder

"Shut up, if anything you've got... handsome.... er???"

he laughed at your attempt at a compliment and stepped back

"It's dark, do you want to come to mine? I live nearby!"

and he did

he lived closer to your college than you did which made you jealous,,, but his apartment was also way bigger than yours with 2 bedrooms which made you even moRE JEALOUS

he went to make you some tea and when he returned you two sat on the sofa, watching tv

to be honest,, neither of you were focused on the tv,, more on how good it felt to be back together again

"I really missed you woojin, I thought you were dead."

you sighed and breathed slowly, your chest heavy

"I wouldn't die on you, you know that."

his tone was serious but he looked at you next to him with a smile

and you felt your heart jump a bit

it hasn't been long since you last saw him but you were sure he'd gotten even more handsome

in fact he was really,,, good looking ,,,

he explained that when he left it wasn't really,,, his fault

his dad was Kang Daniel's dad's, the head of the mafia, old friend, and he'd called in a favour which meant he needed woojin's dad's help

and the area you lived in wasn't really ideal,,,

so woojin moved away and then with all that happened

he managed to get involved in the mafia himself

but he wasn't really heavily involved

not as much as his friends minhyun and jihoon, who were with him earlier

minhyun was higher up,, and jihoon was as good as a trained assassin who watched over newbies like a hawk in case they tried to stray

but woojin wasn't nearly as involved as them

he just did small jobs, jobs that didn't need a lot of work or violence because although he was good with a gun they said he had ""too much of a heart""

and he was totally fine with that,,, he didn't really want to go around doing bank robberies or hits

before long you got talking about yourself, your uni life

when you mentioned your grades you noticed the proud look on woojins face and it made it all worth it

because not only did you make him proud but the grades brought you here where you saw him again

when you mentioned where you live you noticed woojin started to look like he was

,,, in thought ,,,

and he suddenly spoke up before you'd even finished your sentence

"Do you want to live with me? I'm closer and you don't have to pay me rent!"

WELL YOU WERENT ABOUT TO SAY NO

something in your mind was thinking about,,, living with a mafia member would be dangerous,,, but he was low down so you assumed it would be totally okay

also he claimed that you ‘might be recognised by that guy!!!’ and it was protection lmao nice one

and so you moved in together

it was ;; real fun being together all the time again

it was exactly like nothing had change

you'd order takeout like every night and just eat it and watch tv

I mean of course you'd do your work for college too but

it was like the 2+ years without him never happened

but there was one difference

somewhere in your heart, feelings were starting to grow for woojin

not bad ones lol

LOVE

he had gotten so handsome,,, and so caring ,,, and the way he looked at you sometimes gave you butterflies

but he was in the mafia...????!!!!!

that ain't safe

one day you were home earlier than usual, one of your classes were cancelled

when you heard woojin come in,, accompanied by who you assumed were minhyun and jihoon

of course you realised you pROBABLY HAD TO SHUT UP AND NOT SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY DIDNT KNOW YOU EXISTED

so you went and hid out in the bathroom

as you hid,,, you could hear some of their talking

they were just talking about Daniel,,,, really ,,, and his cool penthouse suite in the hq and how jealous they were of it lmAO

as you got bored of their conversing you looked to the side and noticed

boy had literally used up all of the toilet paper

completely forgetting about keeping quiet you sighed loudly and mumbled "every damn time"

uh oh

bad idea

them mafia guys got MAD good hearing

"What the hell was that??"

"It sounded like a person..."

"Uh.... it's the ghost that haunts this apartment??"

nice lie woojin

"It sounded like it came from the bathroom, I'm going to check-"

before anyone could barge in on you, you stepped out from the bathroom and were greeted by the shocked faces of ,,, minhyun and jihoon,,, and woojin facepalming

"Really y/n? You couldn't keep quiet?"

"Why is there a GIRL in your bathroom? I thought you lived alone"

the taller, older one - you guessed he must be minhyun- seemed more shocked and confused than angry

but as for jihoon...

"She isn't one of us. Who is she?"

"She's my friend from before, she goes to uni nearby so she lives in the spare bedroom is that so bad?"

minhyun shrugged and wandered off back to the living room but jihoon looked at you suspiciously

"You know what you're getting her involved in?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

and then jihoon was gone too

and I guess that was how you met woojins friends

straight away minhyun started to come over every evening to teach you some self defence

nothing with a gun,,, because that's too much for someone who isn't even part of the mafia,,, but just how to protect yourself from attacks just in case

and every time you'd successfully do something, woojin would have that proud look on his face again

which gave you butterflies

before long you were pretty much perfect at defending yourself

if someone even tapped your shoulder,,, you could have them on the floor in 0.2 seconds

even minhyun was impressed by how quickly you caught on

and so your self defence classes finished

in celebration of your completion, you text woojin as soon as minhyun left to ask him what takeout he wanted

he responded quickly with

"Pizza! I'll be back soon!!!"

and so you got to ordering it

it came quickly, before woojin even got home

and so you went to unpack it, leaving the front door unlocked so woojin could get in easily

as you started to unpack the pizza you heard a faint knock at the door

assuming it was woojin, you shouted to him that the door was unlocked, he could come straight in

you heard the squeak of the door opening and closing, still not turning around from the pizza

and that was when you felt it

a cold knife was pressed against your neck from behind, a gloved hand pressing it close to your throat

before you even had time to process the situation your training had kicked in

you couldn't do much in the way of beating the guy up, but you managed to disarm him and chuck his knife out of the window

as you stood face to face with him, your own kitchen knife in your hand the door swung open and there was woojin

you looked over at him and noticed the complete shock as he pulled the gun from his pocket and the intruder backed away

"Get out!!! Do you hear me?? Get out of here!!"

he waved the gun in the direction of the door and within  seconds the intruder was gone

an odd silence fell in the apartment, with the only noise being the wind through the open door

Woojin looked up at you, a strange look in his eyes

"Woojin-"

he walked straight up to you, holding your face in his hands for a few seconds saying nothing at all

and then his lips were on yours

all you could think about was how much you loved him,, not even what had just happened

he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against yours

"I really need to stop letting the one I love get hurt."

aha i love writing these