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casualavocados · 4 months ago

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You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #uservid #userspring #userrain #pdribs #userspicy #userjjessi #*cajedit #*gif #every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes #steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again #thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened #and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them #which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping #& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured #& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself #he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine #like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss

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wuntrum · 4 months ago

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think i'm actually going to put in my two weeks tomorrow. im gonna DIEEEEE

#personal #like i genuinely want/need to leave but its soooo scary...ugh #<- mainly just bc i dont have a back up Yet #but im optimistic ill find something thats at the very least #more consistent than where im working now. and maybe #wont have cartoonishy evil upper management but idk #like ok. you wont give me an answer on if youre making me work the night before i have intense surgery #(the answer is yes bc of availability but they just wont admit it)#then dont even worry about it man <3 dont worry about it ever agaiN #gonna sleep on it. but its gotta happen. uuuufdklhgkdfgh #and i dont wanna spend all of post op worrying abt having to go back there #during the holiday rush. like this was already Gonna Happen #anyways. hello if you made it all the way down here. i hope you all are well

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elitadream · 1 year ago

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You know that feeling when you're distinctly unwell but not quite sick? 🥲 Sore limbs, tired body, mild nausea, aching head, preoccupied mind, loud thoughts...

And here I hoped this week's sunny weather would help me feel better. 😞 If you guys have some fun or light observations and ideas that you want to share with me, please do feel free to send them my way, as I'm sure it would greatly help lift my spirits. 🙏🍀

#I'm not sure what happened #I was doing fine and then... suddenly wasn't.#I've been kinda stuck in limbo over the past two days #Wanting to sleep and yet hardly feeling tired at all #Some irl stuff has really been worrying/stressing me as well lately - which is making it exponentially worse #I need to sit for a minute and gather my thoughts; but they're so cluttered it's dizzying 😣#Sorry for the brief lapse in activity 🤒#Hope this will go away soon ✌️#In the meantime tho I'd be more than happy to discuss lightearded concepts!#If any of you want to of course <:)

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tblsomedoodles · 2 years ago

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Grandpa Splinter jsut loves having grandkids, he won't be happy at the injuries no... can we see Dee and Grandpa Splinter's reunion??

Dee is very well medicated at the moment, to the point where he should be asleep. But he's been fighting it for the last half hour. Like he's chill, he just wouldn't go to sleep. Eventually, Splinter came into the room to see him (i think he was out doing errands or something when they first arrived so he didn't get the chance to see any of them until things had started to get settled).five minutes later, Dee's out cold. Grandpa powers lol

Thank you!

#asks #tmnt #rottmnt #adopted donnie au #my doodles #i think dee partially didn't want to go to sleep b/c he was worried he'd wake up to them gone #or he'd fall asleep only to find out that pops showing up was the dream #plus he hadn't seen his grandpa splinter around yet and he wanted to make sure he was still there #so he finally sees Grandpa splinter #and get's reassured everything will be the same when he wakes #and the dudes out faster than you can flip a lightswitch

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rouge-the-bat · 7 months ago

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need kurama to be gay yearning and staying up way too late doing homework bc he spent too much time with hiei (knew he was managing his time badly but decided it was totally worth the lack of sleep so he could have fun with his crush. he can allow himself a normal teenager moment sometimes).

and in his sleepy delirious gay longing he becomes fixated on hiei taking his last name once theyre together. and cant get it out of his head. so he allows himself another stereotypical teenager moment and writes "hiei minamino" and their names together surrounded by a bunch of hearts over and over in his notebook. before he proceeds to pass out on his desk. with said notebook with obvious gay writings still open.

luckily for him, hiei didnt show back up in the middle of the night and see it.

but- his mom wakes up in the middle of the night, and decides to go check on him since she knows he was staying up late working by the time she went to bed. and when she finds her poor son has overworked himself and fell asleep on his desk (again), of COURSE shes going to come over to usher him to bed. and when the desk light is perfectly illuminating his notebook covered in hearts right beside his head, its hard to not take notice of it, or that it clearly reveals her son has a crush on his little friend he spends so much time with

#kurama #hiei #kurahi #youko kurama #shuichi minamino #shiori minamino #shiori hatanaka #yyh #yu yu hakusho #shiori proceeds to have a crisis bc. should she talk with him about it?#wait until hes comfortable opening up about it bc she accidentally peeked on his private writings (even if he accidentally left it open)?#but what if hes worried she wont accept him for it? she doesnt want her son to EVER worry about something like that!#her love is unconditional and she cant let him worry that it may be otherwise!!#then theres also how she suspected before but now knows for sure that hes gay #and the fretting about what if he encounters some bigots at some point #but then she also pictures seeing her dear shuichi off as he heads out on a date with hiei and how ADORABLE theyd be together 🥺#and wonders. are they already dating? is this a crush?#if theyre not dating yet she is ABSOLUTELY going to have to do encourage them to get together #she just wants to see her son and his friend happy together 🥺#also typed out this post when i couldnt sleep this morning so. if theres any weirdness to the way its typed thats why 👍

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flufflecat · 4 months ago

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hey

#gravity falls #bill cipher #wip #i learned how to render!!!#yippee!!!#i do not want to sleep. i just want to paint bill.#as soon as i started painting him a huge thunderstorm kicked up outside. i think thats a good sign #after i get everything painted im just gonna need to go through with a white brush and highlight the hell out of it #to match the style of the original poster #im holding off on doing all the really intricate texture stuff yet but dont worry: his teeth will have texture #im also literally so jazzed about how the cliffs turned out #unfortunate that bill is blocking 90% of them but thats just how it goes #im also still gonna go and finish the other little shop poster at some point #it wont be fully rendered like this but ill at least give it clean lineart #also have yall seen robert ryan corys original illustration for pyramid bill #it rules #fluffle art

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sherlock-is-ace · 5 months ago

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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it #but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it #it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings #that's so not what i'm saying #but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit #so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma #and it's 1am right now #and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously #and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible #i'm obviously sad and worried #yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening #and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse #or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad #that would be rubbing it in her face #so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words #mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere #idk #angel talks #personal

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m1dnight-blu3 · 3 months ago

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someone please free me from the shackles of my ableist job so I can read my books, draw and write my silly little fics in PEACE

#i told my boss about people disrespecting me and calling me ableist slurs and she was straight up like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i haven't been paid yet (nearly a month now) and they still pressure me into sending my work weeks before the deadline #i can't sleep I can't have fun without thinking about whether i'm falling behind on work or not #i haven't been able to write these past week because of my work #i'm tired all the time. everyone is worried about me #if they gave me a raise maybe i could help my family w/ bills & start my hormonal therapy but they don't even pay me in the right day #i've been waiting almost 10 years to finally start hormonal therapy and at this point i'm just living for my little family and out of spite #cw: rant #vent #they say they are inclusive and love autistic people and then treat me like shit and get pissed off when I make a mistake #and then when a neurotypical person does the SAME mistake they say “oh it's fina haha” and don't yell at them like they do with me #i already quit but I have a few more weeks. I'm scared to be unemployed and embarassed. I want to help my family #but it's hard when it feels like the whole world hates people like me

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manicali · 2 months ago

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The weekend isn't enough I've literally been passing out on the bus.

#ive had a teacher encourage us to protest cause my school is so big. Like a very small town level of big.#may it be that I dont eat or sleep or drink water or water based things?#Maybe but like.#School is draining my energy to be a person.#Failure after failure ans I cant fix it.#Ugh #I need years of sleep #or just time to myself #Every minute of my day is overtaken with assignments and worrying #I already have enough to deal with.#I cant keep doing this and yet limitations do not bind me.#Sigj #I know I keep sayinf “Ill reach my limit and snap one day” but im a liar #Sadly Im infinately adaptable to any situation no matter the gravity.#I just keep living like the specter I am.#Odd how living feels most like death. I imagine death is quite beautiful.#In another life I would be a poet. To bad my understanding of whatever composition is is nonecistany #Would be fun to dabble in poetry. How many things are you allowed to do?#Cause I write and draw and I want to learn music so I think learning poetry would be excessive.#And I dislike the formats #Haiku are to short.#Sonnets are actual hell on my brain I nearly killed someone trying to write one #Sigh.#If only random musings could get mw somewhere.#i feel so joyless #manic's joyless rants #Please dont tell me how being positive would help me I will straight up kill you #Positive thinking evades me and always has faking a smile and acting happy is not a thing I have energy for.

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fleshdyk3 · 6 days ago

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bee just wants to cuddle today

#shes such a sweetie #i feel so bad that shes not feeling good 😭😭😭 but all she wants is to cuddle with me #im also gonna feel really bad making her sleep in a cone but i wont have any way of knowing if she starts messing w her stitches in the #middle of the night. she hasnt been yet but im worried she will lol #she did take a good poop and has her appetite back again though! waiting to see if she'll keep down the food we gave her and then she can #have some more #rambles #honeybeatrice

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californiaquail · 9 days ago

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the observerrrrrr

#pardon the streaky window it was gross and dusty in here when i moved in but i only had clorox wipes #i am still worried sick about him his poop has a lot of mucous (probably because i've been giving him laxatone) and i just feel like hes not #acting like himself but of course we just moved and last time it took him a couple weeks to become normal again so that doesn't necessarily #mean anything i'm just SO scared he has a blockage secretly somehow but he hasn't puked at all and is still eating although he was slow to #finish his breakfast this morning which is extremely out of character but he did finish it after a couple minutes #and he hasn't really been drinking water besides what i add to his kibble so i think maybe he doesn't like this tap water? haven't tried it #yet personally so idk if it tastes weird but the last place had really chloriney water and he drank that fine #ugh #trying really hard not to keep panic texting my coworker because i've done that twice now and i don't want to piss her off lmao #and boss is mysteriously gone tomorrow so office won't be open until tues which is already really busy.....#i am questioning if he even ate the string atp but i saw the chewed off end and i know it formerly had a loop on it #which i never found anywhere so it's not like there's anywhere else it could really be #i feel like maybe it's still sitting in his stomach? when he has eaten things previously he's either barfed or shat them out by this point #and he is still having regular poops they're just loose with a lot of mucous but no blood or actual diarrhea or anything #i'm scared and also tired of not being able to sleep or eat from the worry lol #ok this has been your daily reese shit and piss update. yw #me #reese

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dzozef · 10 days ago

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i got offered the promotion at work.... why am i every business owners wettest dream damn....

#yapping #yes my ocd is horrible for my mental health but boy is it good for my wallet !!!!#its not OFFICIAL yet #but it was offered to me and i accepted so theyre seeing how they want to proceed now #cause its not just about me theres a shit ton of changes they want to make that include switching like 5 peoples schedules around #but my team leader said that most of those changes being possible depended on whether i would accept this or not #so well see #id be a team leader myself now #the feminine urge to become a power hungry dictator control freak at work.......#id be switching from my current early morning shifts to late night shifts which is much less healthy on paper #but my body is made for sleeping late i physically can not go to bed before 3am even now when i wake up at 5:30 #i might have the money to renovate my apartment now cause i think this comes with a 20% pay increase which is a lotttt #i basically will be earning two incomes myself now 😭#dani said he fully believes Ace Of Spades exists at this point cause everything always ends up going my way in the end #i know it may seem like im flexing but please be aware when i started this job a year and a half ago i was borderline homeless 😐#so its a huge deal for me 😭 and really quickly done as well which is why its so insane #like. in a year and a half only i went from borderline homeless and my parents keeping me on constant phonecalls #cause they were worried id off myself if i hung up #to being a homeowner that earns two incomes by herself while working from home #i feel like in most companies hard work doesnt rly pay off tbh i was just lucky to get into one of the few companies where they do value it #the literal CEO is my biggest dickrider 😭 but i do appreciate him giving me raises randomly cause he feels like i deserve it #but yeah !!!! apparently life altering anxiety that forces you to compulsively do perfect work at any job you ever do #because making mistakes and not giving it your 110% feels like a moral failure so you feel sick at the very thought of it #is apparently what makes the dream worker #if only they knew i dont actually care about this in any capacity.... i am just fucked in the head in a way that works im their favour 😭#this is why all of my ex bosses begged me to stay when i quit teehee #im yapping too much but yeah !! heall yeah money !!

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uygfiug · 2 months ago

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why is it so scary to text friends 😭😭

#ive been panicking for about 20 minutes #bc me & a friend are meeting up sometime during the break #& we said wed discuss over text #& now shes just send me hello #and i dont know what to do with that #am i supposed to just say hi back #or do i start by bringing up around what time id like to meet #or do i ask her but not say anything about what i want yet #also what kind of hi is appropriate #i dont know what language this conversation is going to be #do i just say hey! that works in both languages?#or is hey too formal #idk why but i always freak out like this when i have to text people i know irl #bc they know how i act & talk #so i think im worried that the way i text is all wrong with how i am as a person #and also im so scared to mess up any friendships bc i love my friends so so much #anyway. ive opened it so i have to reply before i go to sleep #but im also meeting some friends tomorrow & we havent decided on a location yet so i have to be up early enough to potentially #travel quite a bit #mine

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lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar · 2 months ago

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i think, since there's so much, i should make my queue more active throughout the day and tag the things i'll be re-queuing so i can just go through the list in my archive to restock it easier

also i might restock the same ones i had in the queue before that it posted already just to start it over again so i can tag everything in better order without confusing myself

but it won't restart anyway until may when the 516 posts in there are done posting

or sooner if i increase the queue output

#me #as you can see #i have 0 plans to stop spamming everybody with the same russ posts repeatedly #i'm saying a lot of things about my queue but i haven't even done anything about it yet #i said earlier i have to add more to it #and then i immediately forgot and got distracted #and now here i am just saying things again without doing #and it's almost bedtime for me #will i actually act on any of this tomorrow?#hopefully #but we will see #anyway i have more gifs to post but i'll save them for tomorrow too #mostly because i want them to stay in my drafts so i can look at them before i sleep tonight #without worrying about reblogging a bunch of stuff and then having to scroll through my blog to get to them again #russ's smile is so very precious #and that's all i'll say about it #for now #i had another plan to gif something #but i think that'll be a bigger job than i thought it was gonna be #i mean it doesn't HAVE to be but it might bother me if it isn't #if that makes sense at all #i'm not explaining it either #but anyway #i'll stop rambling now

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waterdeepthroat · 1 year ago

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it really is hell trying to figure out which companions are monogamous so i can plan my next playthroughs

#i’ve heard conflicting things about shadowheart and karlach. i read that gale wasn’t poly but tbh idk how much i trust reddit #pretty sure astarion and lae’zel are chill about it (currently romancing shadowheart and astarion and there’s been no conflict so far)#i got wyll’s approval to exceptional but no flirty dialogue ever triggered so idk about that. gotta finish karlach’s quest but idk #if she’ll actually sleep with me. she def flirted with me but i haven’t had the option to progress things yet #halsin i know is poly but i’m still at moonrise so i’m not really worried about him yet #v curious to see if jaheira is romanceable?? i know in my heart she’s a womankisser so #anyway i moved so i haven’t had the chance to play lottie ‘gotta catch ‘em all’ tavews in a hot minute #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #if anyone wants to rb with what they’ve learnt pls feel free #tadpole polycule

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britneyshakespeare · 3 months ago

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I can't believe the Younger Brother (1689) by Aphra Behn has the only one bed trope

#act iv scene i #olivia is in disguise as mirtilla's page endimion and she's wooing welborn on her own behalf #and welborn is like well im hosting a gentleman in my lodgings right now but u can sleep w me #and olivia is like uhmmm uhmmm i can't do that not for any particular reason i just can't sleep in ur bed #(bc she's modest but she is kinda tempted. but also worried if she denies too hard he might suspect her of being actually a woman)#and he's like what are you afraid my bed's diseased? do u think im gay? im telling u there's nowhere else for us both to sleep #im not gonna make u sleep on the floor kid #PLEASE #the younger brother might be one of my new favorites from behn. i haven't finished it yet but it kinda has everything i love from her #mirtilla in particular is such an interesting character #text post #aphra behn #restoration comedy #in the edition edited by janet todd for vol. 7 of the collected works #i believe it's based off of the original quarto text that was published after behn's death #i highly suspect a lot of this prose dialogue is supposed to be blank verse #SO. MUCH. of it flows exactly like blank verse. it kinda bothers me #i do dream about editing and publishing my own edition of behn's plays and i would definitely amend these to be verse #i wonder if montague summers' version is verse? idk this is the first janet todd edited play ive read #i dont yet know the differences between their editing styles #god i wish more than 2 ppl in history had ever bothered to edit and publish this woman's collected works #oxford world classics should definitely put out another volume of her plays #i love the one they have featuring the rover/feigned courtesans/lucky chance/emperor of the moon #but she's got what like 15 other extant plays? and oxford world classics has the range and capabilities to do it #or if penguin classics ever wants to pretend they're really as good as oxford they can print their own #as far as diversifying the canon and widening the availability of older texts. oxford still beats penguin any day #but it does piss me off that no classic book publishers take this period of early-modern women's drama and proto-novels very seriously #or rather. no big ones that i know other than oxford #im not counting print-on-demand companies that reprint the texts of public domain works w no editing #those serve a purpose but those are not leaders in the publishing industry for a reason. theyre not sposta be

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