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casualavocados · 1 month ago

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You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #uservid #userspring #userrain #pdribs #userspicy #userjjessi #*cajedit #*gif #every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes #steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again #thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened #and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them #which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping #& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured #& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself #he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine #like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss

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wuntrum · 1 month ago

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think i'm actually going to put in my two weeks tomorrow. im gonna DIEEEEE

#personal #like i genuinely want/need to leave but its soooo scary...ugh #<- mainly just bc i dont have a back up Yet #but im optimistic ill find something thats at the very least #more consistent than where im working now. and maybe #wont have cartoonishy evil upper management but idk #like ok. you wont give me an answer on if youre making me work the night before i have intense surgery #(the answer is yes bc of availability but they just wont admit it)#then dont even worry about it man <3 dont worry about it ever agaiN #gonna sleep on it. but its gotta happen. uuuufdklhgkdfgh #and i dont wanna spend all of post op worrying abt having to go back there #during the holiday rush. like this was already Gonna Happen #anyways. hello if you made it all the way down here. i hope you all are well

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elitadream · 9 months ago

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You know that feeling when you're distinctly unwell but not quite sick? 🥲 Sore limbs, tired body, mild nausea, aching head, preoccupied mind, loud thoughts...

And here I hoped this week's sunny weather would help me feel better. 😞 If you guys have some fun or light observations and ideas that you want to share with me, please do feel free to send them my way, as I'm sure it would greatly help lift my spirits. 🙏🍀

#I'm not sure what happened #I was doing fine and then... suddenly wasn't.#I've been kinda stuck in limbo over the past two days #Wanting to sleep and yet hardly feeling tired at all #Some irl stuff has really been worrying/stressing me as well lately - which is making it exponentially worse #I need to sit for a minute and gather my thoughts; but they're so cluttered it's dizzying 😣#Sorry for the brief lapse in activity 🤒#Hope this will go away soon ✌️#In the meantime tho I'd be more than happy to discuss lightearded concepts!#If any of you want to of course <:)

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tblsomedoodles · 2 years ago

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Grandpa Splinter jsut loves having grandkids, he won't be happy at the injuries no... can we see Dee and Grandpa Splinter's reunion??

Dee is very well medicated at the moment, to the point where he should be asleep. But he's been fighting it for the last half hour. Like he's chill, he just wouldn't go to sleep. Eventually, Splinter came into the room to see him (i think he was out doing errands or something when they first arrived so he didn't get the chance to see any of them until things had started to get settled).five minutes later, Dee's out cold. Grandpa powers lol

Thank you!

#asks #tmnt #rottmnt #adopted donnie au #my doodles #i think dee partially didn't want to go to sleep b/c he was worried he'd wake up to them gone #or he'd fall asleep only to find out that pops showing up was the dream #plus he hadn't seen his grandpa splinter around yet and he wanted to make sure he was still there #so he finally sees Grandpa splinter #and get's reassured everything will be the same when he wakes #and the dudes out faster than you can flip a lightswitch

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flufflecat · 2 months ago

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hey

#gravity falls #bill cipher #wip #i learned how to render!!!#yippee!!!#i do not want to sleep. i just want to paint bill.#as soon as i started painting him a huge thunderstorm kicked up outside. i think thats a good sign #after i get everything painted im just gonna need to go through with a white brush and highlight the hell out of it #to match the style of the original poster #im holding off on doing all the really intricate texture stuff yet but dont worry: his teeth will have texture #im also literally so jazzed about how the cliffs turned out #unfortunate that bill is blocking 90% of them but thats just how it goes #im also still gonna go and finish the other little shop poster at some point #it wont be fully rendered like this but ill at least give it clean lineart #also have yall seen robert ryan corys original illustration for pyramid bill #it rules #fluffle art

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sherlock-is-ace · 2 months ago

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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it #but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it #it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings #that's so not what i'm saying #but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit #so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma #and it's 1am right now #and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously #and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible #i'm obviously sad and worried #yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening #and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse #or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad #that would be rubbing it in her face #so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words #mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere #idk #angel talks #personal

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uygfiug · 3 months ago

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how do you people study through extreme exhaustion? bc thats what always gets me during the exams & i cannot keep doing this forever

#the first time i had exams i kept going through pure desperation #bc i cared a lot more back then #but now i just dont see studying as important enough for that to work #redoing a year wont be fun but i know people the year below me & it wouldnt be bad either #anyways to pass this next exam i probably wont get any sleep #or maybe 2 hours #which i know is bad but since its only 2 exams this time im less worried about sleep & more about just getting through #so i need to know how to keep myself going #i have no available caffeine :( otherwise thatd be my first idea #but idk ive tried so many things #turning on the big light #movement breaks #short naps #sleeping a few hours & just getting up really early #music - which does help a lot but its not enough #mine #please no one ever taught me any of this i just keep guessing & hoping i get it right #like at school they do 'teach you to study' but really its just a few tips #mostly to take care of yourself & not pull all nighters #like okay. but what if i have to otherwise i will not pass? how do i manage that?#i never had to study before high school #& that combined with my horrible mental state at the time meant my grades went from really good to horrible #and yet somehow passing #but idk i dont want to be hanging on by a thread and just one mistake away from failing anymore #thats not fun #i think it was kinda good for me since i made peace with maybe failing & dont really care about that anymore? like if i fail thats okay too #but yeah anyway #im rambling so i dont have to start studying

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m1dnight-blu3 · 17 days ago

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someone please free me from the shackles of my ableist job so I can read my books, draw and write my silly little fics in PEACE

#i told my boss about people disrespecting me and calling me ableist slurs and she was straight up like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i haven't been paid yet (nearly a month now) and they still pressure me into sending my work weeks before the deadline #i can't sleep I can't have fun without thinking about whether i'm falling behind on work or not #i haven't been able to write these past week because of my work #i'm tired all the time. everyone is worried about me #if they gave me a raise maybe i could help my family w/ bills & start my hormonal therapy but they don't even pay me in the right day #i've been waiting almost 10 years to finally start hormonal therapy and at this point i'm just living for my little family and out of spite #cw: rant #vent #they say they are inclusive and love autistic people and then treat me like shit and get pissed off when I make a mistake #and then when a neurotypical person does the SAME mistake they say “oh it's fina haha” and don't yell at them like they do with me #i already quit but I have a few more weeks. I'm scared to be unemployed and embarassed. I want to help my family #but it's hard when it feels like the whole world hates people like me

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rouge-the-bat · 4 months ago

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need kurama to be gay yearning and staying up way too late doing homework bc he spent too much time with hiei (knew he was managing his time badly but decided it was totally worth the lack of sleep so he could have fun with his crush. he can allow himself a normal teenager moment sometimes).

and in his sleepy delirious gay longing he becomes fixated on hiei taking his last name once theyre together. and cant get it out of his head. so he allows himself another stereotypical teenager moment and writes "hiei minamino" and their names together surrounded by a bunch of hearts over and over in his notebook. before he proceeds to pass out on his desk. with said notebook with obvious gay writings still open.

luckily for him, hiei didnt show back up in the middle of the night and see it.

but- his mom wakes up in the middle of the night, and decides to go check on him since she knows he was staying up late working by the time she went to bed. and when she finds her poor son has overworked himself and fell asleep on his desk (again), of COURSE shes going to come over to usher him to bed. and when the desk light is perfectly illuminating his notebook covered in hearts right beside his head, its hard to not take notice of it, or that it clearly reveals her son has a crush on his little friend he spends so much time with

#kurama #hiei #kurahi #youko kurama #shuichi minamino #shiori minamino #shiori hatanaka #yyh #yu yu hakusho #shiori proceeds to have a crisis bc. should she talk with him about it?#wait until hes comfortable opening up about it bc she accidentally peeked on his private writings (even if he accidentally left it open)?#but what if hes worried she wont accept him for it? she doesnt want her son to EVER worry about something like that!#her love is unconditional and she cant let him worry that it may be otherwise!!#then theres also how she suspected before but now knows for sure that hes gay #and the fretting about what if he encounters some bigots at some point #but then she also pictures seeing her dear shuichi off as he heads out on a date with hiei and how ADORABLE theyd be together 🥺#and wonders. are they already dating? is this a crush?#if theyre not dating yet she is ABSOLUTELY going to have to do encourage them to get together #she just wants to see her son and his friend happy together 🥺#also typed out this post when i couldnt sleep this morning so. if theres any weirdness to the way its typed thats why 👍

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telomirage · 5 months ago

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saturday night I had a dream Megan Thee Stallion and I were in a strangely designed room taking evidence photos out a window. she asked if I wanted to take a picture with her too before taking my phone and gently adjusting my posture and the angle of my face for a more flattering shared selfie

what are we

#I woke up almost immediately after she put a finger on my chin lmao #but I want to know more about the crime we were documenting!!#and the interior design and the architecture in general of the building we were in were WILD. where were we???#telomirage.txt #alex said my subconscious yeeted me out of there and tbh that's how it felt. self preservation #if megan did that to me irl I'd combust #and scientists might want to study me as a spectacular spontaneous combustion case #I had to edit this post because I typed 'sunday night' with full confidence and then started worrying about a doctor's appointment I have #on tuesday. and then I glanced at the clock/calendar on my phone and realized it is currently monday and I have not had #the sunday night sleep yet

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pendraegon · 1 year ago

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im the world's most sexiest insomniac

#the fact i havent accidentally slipped into mania yet though is 👍#and hopefully that doesn't happen as my mania is almost always triggered by a lack of sleep 👍👍👍#(although that doesnt necessarily mean that being insomniac at the moment means i will be manic/hypomanic yknow)#just............a bit worried. wanting to know if i should take precaution while i can.

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waterdeepthroat · 1 year ago

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it really is hell trying to figure out which companions are monogamous so i can plan my next playthroughs

#i’ve heard conflicting things about shadowheart and karlach. i read that gale wasn’t poly but tbh idk how much i trust reddit #pretty sure astarion and lae’zel are chill about it (currently romancing shadowheart and astarion and there’s been no conflict so far)#i got wyll’s approval to exceptional but no flirty dialogue ever triggered so idk about that. gotta finish karlach’s quest but idk #if she’ll actually sleep with me. she def flirted with me but i haven’t had the option to progress things yet #halsin i know is poly but i’m still at moonrise so i’m not really worried about him yet #v curious to see if jaheira is romanceable?? i know in my heart she’s a womankisser so #anyway i moved so i haven’t had the chance to play lottie ‘gotta catch ‘em all’ tavews in a hot minute #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #if anyone wants to rb with what they’ve learnt pls feel free #tadpole polycule