#I WANT HIM TO SUFFER I'M SORRY
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fl00mie · 5 months ago
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i need ink to cry in underverse
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adnrewminyard · 9 months ago
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imagine being kevin day, son of exy, born and bred to be a cog in the well-oiled machine that is the edgar allan ravens. all you know being the routine of practice and practice and practice and performance and victory alongside those you call brothers.
-and then one day you wake up in your estranged father's apartment between a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of vodka and there is a knot of bandages where your future used to be. you don't wake up at 4am anymore. you sleep until noon and vomit the remainders of life as you knew it into unfamiliar toilets. you watch orange and white clash against each other from sidelines you haven't touched since you started growing facial hair.
your brother doesn't ask you to come home. you would come if he asked. the days are longer here and the food is too rich. the colors are too harsh, the language barrier is too much. you speak and no one understands.
they feel sorry for you, but not for what you have lost, instead for what you have suffered. you try to show them what belonging means, to sever parts of yourself to fit inside a uniform, but they don't understand the necessity of the blade the way your brothers did. they don't understand that suffering feels religious if you do it right.
the therapist tells you it's survivor's guilt but the only survivors you can see are on the court in black and red and they read your eulogy after the game at a press conference. you are not a survivor in any way that matters anymore. how treacherous your heart is for continuing to beat when you can't even hold your lifeline in your hand without dropping it.
you want to go home but your key doesn't open the same door anymore. you want to sit beside your brother but there is no space on his side of the table. you want to be a raven but you are a fox.
you grieve for connection until there is a knife where your neck guard used to sit. you grieve for your life until a boy offers to show you how it feels to survive. you offer to show him how it feels to live. he tells you he won't sever parts of himself to fit the uniform, but there are telltale bloodstains in the fabric from long before you asked.
you wake up at 4am again. you take turns vomiting in the toilet, you when the alcohol level dips too low and him when his smile runs out. he doesn't speak your language but he understands it. he keeps the car running when you visit the therapist. he keeps an eye on your back to watch the 02 on your jersey turn orange. the colors don't seem as harsh anymore.
he offers you safety. he offers you belonging. he offers you the only thing he knows how to give, the only thing you know how to take.
he offers you a lifeline. you pick it up with your right hand.
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iroissleepdeprived · 1 year ago
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This man stole my last braincell.
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redraw
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ushsblog · 1 month ago
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The Teamwork. Cedric in HexleyHall mini-comic
A simple plot before I go back to school, I had fun with this one. I'm sorry about the quality, I got the size wrong and I realized it when I had already finished the lineart.
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I feel that worse than being alone is knowing that they don't want you there.
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north-noire · 3 months ago
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oh no, you killed her! what have you done? inspired by this (they're one of my favorite artists EVER i love their works so much)
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holyshit · 30 days ago
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#'sorry for barging' anon#sorry gonna answer this in the tags since it's such a loaded topic#but yeah exactly- i think a lot of it comes down to people wanting them to perform their (very real) grief for an audience#and getting mad when they don't. which is wildly unfair and unrealistic and just... extremely entitled#and very much coming from a lack of understanding of grief and that it's not a perpetual state of uncontrollable crying#a massive part of grief is continuing living with all its up and down moments with a new heavy weight in the background#living in a perpetual state of sobs is not something any human can sustain. it involves adapting and continuing to live.#and that involves doing regular everyday things AND experiencing happy moments still. that does not mean you aren't still suffering.#to question whether they're 'truly' grieving is.... kinda evil and completely ridiculous lmao#and shows a massive lack of basic empathy and understanding of how human emotions work#we see less than 1 percent of their lives. to actually feel like you have the ability to judge someone's grieving process in general#is wild and weird but especially when you literally have seen nearly none of their lives in the past few months#i'm sure all of us have laughed and seen a friend and had other happy moments since october#that doesn't mean we do not miss liam and that we aren't devastatingly sad at other points.#and to somehow think that zouis reconnecting and being happy about it after such a tragic event would be somehow anti-liam is insane#i've even seen people judge zayn for not cancelling his entire tour which is so.....#if they for a second think that liam would have been petty enough to enjoy the idea of all of his friends stopping in their tracks forever#they clearly didn't really know him since he was clearly always SO supportive of everyone in 1d#and probably would have been very happy to see zayn and louis mend their relationship#it feels like a very weird way to make a fucking death and real life grief from his friends into a stan war which is......... beyond gross
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wisteriasymphony · 2 months ago
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Hey could you do some headcanons with Adrien haveing a twin sister or younger sister by a year?
Oh, buddy, I am perhaps the worst person to ask! Let's use Eloise for the sister's name.
- Adrien and Eloise have an incredibly, unsettlingly codependent relationship. The emotional neglect led to the siblings fulfilling way more of each other's emotional needs than they probably should have.
- Adrien was Emilie's favorite because Emilie is a boy mom. Gabriel did not have a favorite because that would require caring about the kids in general.
- Gabriel will start to get weird about Eloise in a way that he is not about Adrien, simply because she resembles Emilie more due to the virtue of not having a Y chromosome. YMMV on what I mean by "weird", but I definitely feel like she would get sheltered/kept inside even more than Adrien is. This is definitely a big change for Eloise compared to before Emilie's death, where Adrien was the one given more attention in general.
- Both are fairly academically inclined due to all of that homeschooling, but Eloise is probably put into ballet when Adrien is put into fencing. (Not to say she can't also like fencing, I just think the Agreste parents aren't immune to following gender roles)
- Both are also forced to model, often together. They tend to disassociate in sync, it's a neat party trick! Any commercials/Disney Channel Originals/etc they're in tend to rely hard on the twin/sibling factor.
- I could definitely see a sort of Lyney/Lynette dynamic from them (if you're vaguely familiar with Genshin)
- Adrien is definitely exposed to more physical abuse than Eloise, while Eloise's is usually non-physical. Of course, Adrien has the usual brotherly sense of "I never want my sibling to go through what I've gone through", so he puts up with a lot under the pretense that it will protect Eloise.
- ^ He is wrong.
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cluescorner · 10 months ago
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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littlestkoi-n · 11 months ago
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My weirdest headcanon is that at the end of 4th year Remus bites his leg off during a transformation. It's the first moon after his mum's funeral so he's extra distressed and the wolf isn't having it. Pomfrey is terrified when she finds him all mangled and cold from blood loss, and it's the first time James, Peter and Sirius aren't allowed to see him right away. Pomfrey magically sews his leg back together, of course, but like all his werewolf injuries it doesn't heal quite right. Now Remus has to hide his newfound limp to avoid suspicion. It makes Severus question him even more than before though, especially with Professors making up new excuses for Remus' absence after that since, you know, his mum's illness can't be a reason anymore. It also makes James, Peter and Sirius work faster on their animagi master plan cuz "bloody hell he chewed off his leg!"
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ilkkawhat · 14 days ago
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there have been many formative video games and pieces of art in general in my life but i am going to make a very bold and intoxicated statement that alan wake 2 was the most critical and relatable and overall resonates with me on a level nothing else does
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yuseirra · 6 months ago
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**onk spoilers** CH 158
no but seriously, what is up with this guy? I think he really IS cursed
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ternterntern0 · 11 months ago
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gagagabababa i have another doodle page :3
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yujeong · 6 months ago
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We're officially 24 hours before the finale of 4 Minutes, so here are my top theories in regards to Tonkla's end: 1) He's going to kill himself. 2) He's going to call Korn, admit he shot Great over the phone and then kill himself. 3) He's going to meet with Korn, admit he shot Great, pushing Korn to his limits, which will result in Korn beating the shit out of him, which will result in Tonkla dying by Korn's hands. 4) He's going to die. By killing himself.
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kenobion · 2 years ago
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Andrew Garfield interview on Hacksaw Ridge in 2016
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ctl-yuejie · 2 years ago
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you remembered, quite observant |hidden agenda ep. 1
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pixelatedraindrops · 1 year ago
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RainCode Sickfic (Sequel 3) preview!
(RainCode Endgame Spoilers!)
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Behind the mask…lies the pain you’ve kept hidden all this time…
So as I’ve briefly mentioned multiple times, over winter break I will be writing a new fic, aka the third and final part to my RainCode sickfic trilogy. I call the it the “Sickfics of the Heart” series~ :)
The final fic I write will take place in the post game. Where former Number One, Yuma decides to visit Kanai Ward to check on his homunculus Makoto before the year ends as a break. But he finds out he’s not in good shape health-wise and decides to try to look after him.
I will be making multiple references to my first fic “Home is Where the Heart is” so be sure to read that fic first!
This fic will also contain more angst. (that I will make super fluffy in return :3)
Here is the summary of what I have planned.
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Title: A Heartwarming Reunion
With his memories back, Former Number One, now Independent Detective Yuma Kokohead has recently solved yet another case. One more step towards his goal of eradicating all the world’s mysteries. He finds himself a little tired and realized that it was getting close to the end of the year. He thinks maybe it’s a good opportunity to take a small vacation to recuperate.
New Years is usually a time best spent with family. Sadly, Yuma didn’t have any blood relatives. His secondary family was the Nocturnal Detective Agency, but with the master detectives off doing their own thing, and the chief deceased (or rather wandering aimlessly as an undead homunculus zombie) he couldn’t be selfish and take up their time.
But as he thought back to his time spent in Kanai Ward's city of endless rain as an amnesiac, one person crossed his mind. The person who shared his face, his mind and his build. The homunculus clone he had to battle to solve the city’s mystery. (Though he could not remember what exactly happened) The CEO and now Leader of the clouded city of rain full of homunculi like him. Makoto Kagutsuchi.
Yuma thought to himself that even if they were previously enemies, Makoto was probably the closest thing to a blood relative he had left. So he decides to return to Kanai Ward to pay him a visit, to see how the city is fairing and hoping he had some time off to talk and catch up. And as the city’s leader, he was usually alone. He wouldn’t mind a little surprise visit from his original …would he?
Little did Yuma know, that Makoto may have needed his help more than he originally expected. He overhears rumors in the city that speak concerns of Makoto pushing himself too hard. It turns out their city’s leader was ill, and he had only gotten worse due to his days of continuous overworking and trying to brush it off, by hiding it using his mask.
Yuma is about to experience being a caretaker for the first time in his life, and to his own double. He has a bit of trouble at first, but he has a little bit of help from his heartwarming memories of his previous found family, the Nocturnal Detective Agency. He also finds out more about Makoto in the process. Realizing that he’s been in a lot of pain…that he’s kept masked all this time, all alone.
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Also yes this edit is terrible... x'D Makoto's sprite art makes it difficult to edit into his body... I tried okay? x-x;
Anyway, I hope you will look forward to it! I will try to get it done by either Christmas or...the end of the year :3c
Also this will likely be a multi-chapter fic.
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