#I SAVED THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bubblingsteam · 2 months ago

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KIM KITSURAGI - I was born here. I grew up here. It's the only home I've ever known. And there's a good chance I'll die in the line of duty here, too.

But -- to most of my countrymen, I will always be some monkey fucker.

DISCO ELYSIUM - CONVERSATION #1201

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 20 days ago

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feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate

#an absolute GEM 💗#we need more people in the world like this #they restored my faith in humanity 🙏#unlike my date #who was… well. i’ve been on worse ones i guess #but he monologued at me for a two and a half hours #and on the rare times i actually managed to get a word in edge ways or voice an opinion #he just twisted it round to suit what he’d been saying #it REALLY annoyed me #the entire thing annoyed me actually #i am so sick and tired of going on dates with straight white men who feel the need to explain everything to you #as if you’re not a person with a mind and experiences of your own #also wtf is the point on going on a date with someone when you aren’t remotely interested in getting to know them???#the man asked me maybe two questions total the entire afternoon #i could write his entire fucking biography #also at the end he said how cool and mysterious i was #and i’m like ????#i’m only mysterious because you’d prefer me to be that than an actual person who you could have had a proper conversation with #*breathes out slowly*#phew okay i was angrier about this than i thought lol #the older i get the less tolerance i have for shit like this 🫠#anyway yeah sorry #vent over 😅#i’m just so annoyed because i have SUCH limited energy atm with my pain and fatigue etc and i just wasted it on him ffs #but then again #the cute barista and the fontaines d.c. and the marshmallows were most definitely not a waste of my energy #they totally saved my day honestly 🙏#fontaines d.c.#lulu posts

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kaidanalenkosprmanager · 9 months ago

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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: MARS (PART 1)

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Maj. Kaidan Alenko, Lt. James Vega, and Dr. Liara T'Soni Sophie, I don't know what you are- or who. Not since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know, you could be their puppet- controlled by The Illusive Man himself. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨#shenko #james vega #kaidan alenko #sophie shepard #liara t’soni #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #priority mars? more like priority shenko!#she’s a 2-parter bc there were too many good scenes to gif i literally couldn’t not gif all of them tbh #like mars is just peak shenko content even if it’s not canon to me #the expressions the conversations the glances the PINING it’s everything to me #the way shep looks at kaidan when they talk about what they’d lose if they fail 🥺#bioware i am in your WALLS over that scene in particular #‘is this what they did to you?’ sends me to ANOTHER DIMENSION and i need to write a whole ass fic off that line alone #bc it’s so good and there’s so many emotions tied to it #like the entire conversation between the two of them there is literally emotional damage for me and even if it’s not my canon it’s so GOOD #also PV with the see through visors saving my life on the elevator ride too?? like the expressions are so good #and cleric’s gorgeous shadow broker guardian set too like???#the fashion is just top notch for all these emotional moments #on a side note s/o to james for literally being in the middle of the most awkward couple’s spat in existence and being so casual about it #he’s everything to me tbh #him and kaidan are my loves #james vega and kaidan alenko men that you are #i’ll stop ranting in the part 1 tags now ✨

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rabbithaver · 2 months ago

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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post #like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide #which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone #> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won #i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare #and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that #but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it #so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything #if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again #i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable #i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people #like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation #again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good #person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make #>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be #when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be #im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry

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screwpinecaprice · 1 year ago

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I know it’s not a question but i can’t help but appreciate the fact that you draw adult Steven as a chubby guy! We big boys need some positive representation in here. Also, i’ve been following you for almost a year now!

Btw sorry for my English lol.

Hi! It's very pleasing to know you've been around for as long! 😁😁😁 I absolutely appreciate the appreciation! And no worries, your English is super fine! 😁 (Relatable actually. I am also apologizing in advance if I can't exactly have my point clearly across because I'm not well at English myself! lmao)

It took me quite some time to learn how to draw chubby characters but it's so satisfying to have eventually. ( *`u*) (I mean, there's still so much to learn, but still.)

Having a chubby main protagonist is so wonderful to have. And a good kid at that. (Ngl I'm attracted to kindness. haha So of course it's very important to me that he's fat AND kind.)

Also design-wise, I personally think it fits his character so well. Soft and huggable, shaped like a friend. Thick arms to hug people with snuggly. Body wide like a shield. etc. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I just really like to capture these elements when I draw him as an adult. Also that it's just fun to draw.

Simply personal thoughts about it, nothing against any other ways he's being portrayed by others of course.

#And it's not even because English isn't my first language. Just generally bad at language. RIP #I had this conversation with someone once where they headcanon he'd get lower back pains if he slim down because of how his gem will #poke or stab his spine #I really like that he's chubby/fat just because. and that he's happy and confident about it #but him being fat not entire by choice is an interesting angle to look at.#I mean obviously he's naturally chubby because of DNA too but you get when I mean. or I hope you do. ;u;#Yo I had a theory.... or at least a headcanon about how his gem is arranged inside his body and how it's practically designed so it can be #passed down eventually without killing him. But I never get to a cohesive written explanation about it so I kept procrastinating.#I like to think the Pink Diamond gem will become like an heirloom. But I digress.#Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #I guess implied connverse #connverse #TFW growing up in media where 'look at us we're different but we are all friends!' And the differences were just personalities and status i #society but the body shapes are practically the same. 😆#They were the same shape because the merch used the same mold. ^^; But I think that contributed to messing up my perception.#Like. The level of unawareness I had in drawing fat characters is crazy back then.#when I thought I drew a chubby character but the reality was that she was still slim! I still have her saved in my Deviant Art account #Nobody would've known because she's my OC.#If I were to argue with that past me that she's not chubby. Past me would be extremely confused because she is totally convinced that she #drew a chubby character. Mind you I was above 18 then too.#I had another OC I wanted to be really chunky but I was so bad at it that I found an excuse why she's so slim so I can avoid drawing chunky #I did eventually made her chunky but I almost never posted any of my OCs lol. She also have a black and pink theme. 🤔#Same with skin color but it happened in my own Sona. I have a tan skin tone and I thought I gave my Sona the same skin...but like... Bruh.#I'm even looking at it now. That is kinda pale. RIP #It still baffles me how different I've been seeing thing in the past. Eugh I'm digressing again. :/#sc answers #ask #luisnavarro04 #meme

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headfullof-ideas · 3 months ago

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Doing a separate post for the tags i added at the end of my last one about Mildew. I also need to fix some of Stoick’s lines, because at first I didn’t have much of a plan for him, but after outlining the story more and winging some later scenes, I’ve built a character arc for him, and also fleshed out more of his opinions and views on the raids as Chief of one of the tribes most affected by them. And after re-reading some chapters to figure out where to shove Mildew and his complaining in, I realized some lines might be a bit more antagonistic than they need to be, or entirely out of character for the character i have planned. I think I’ll write a character study for him after I’ve finished writing and posting the first film, about the character I’ve written for my story, and his mindset on everything and why he’s the way he is at the start of the story. But I need to fix some of his lines as they don’t exactly fit the character I’ve been building now

#Stoick is being so much fun o write becuase of the conversations he has with other characters #specifically about the raids. and specifically with anyone from outside the archipelago #something I’m hoping to do right is make the characters outside the archipelago (specifically the defenders and the Nektons)#grow to actually emphasize with the people inside the Archipelago #grow to realize that the rumors they heard weren’t what they seemed #and that what they initially believed about the raids isn’t all black and white #i want them to grow to a realization that #as flawed of a person and as wrong as some of his actions may be #and as much as some of his feelings and actions may have been directed to the wrong individual #that Stoick’s (and most everyone else in the Archipelago) anger and hatred toward the dragons #is ENTIRELY justified and reasonable #that the way things are handled in the Archipelago is entirely reasonable for the situation they’ve been in for the last three hundred years #unfortunate and maybe ethically wrong. but entirely reasonable and sometimes justified #I could go on and on but I have to save some of it to be revealed in the story itself #httyd/the deep crossover #httyd stoick

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freckliedan · 6 months ago

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Can you tag miscarriage jokes please? Sorry.

hey anon, don't apologise, i'm really sorry it didn't cross my mind to trigger tag that seperately from tagging mpreg. thank you for letting me know i can do better with being caring to the people around me when i post and i'm seriously sorry for any distress i caused with that one.

#i'm going back to tag now + don't anticipate it being a frequent joke on this blog but can commit to consistantly tagging in the future #i tag mpreg consistantly because i know reproductive conversations can be fraught for people for a number of reasons not just to save posts #it's entirely on me for not realizing an extra tag would be prudent wrt this subject #jam replies #anon #mpreg #miscarriage /

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halfgothamite · 1 year ago

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PRO TIP: DO N O T BRING MISS ISLEY FLOWERS

YOU CHOP, YOU DROP, SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

she likes planted flora and fauna though, so if you give her like a potted flower she'll like it!

@gothamite-shenanigans <3

Ohhhh my god dude thank you !!!!!!!!! I was just considering buying her an orchid but I’m afraid that’s what everyone gets her? So I might just give her a packet of seeds and tell her to go ham. I want to be individual but like I also don’t want to upset her.

#save me save me dr isley save me dr isley /ref #ugh I can’t wait for the meeting it’s gonna be so cool #I mean if I don’t chicken out and spend the entire time in the corner wondering how to say hi to her #Nono I will be STRONG I will approach her and we will have intellectually stimulating and respectful conversation!!!#asks #only in gotham rp #unreality

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frozenambiguity · 2 years ago

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Very long Initial thoughts and first impressions on the Caribert Archon Quest in the tags. Spoiler alert!!

#{{ this is me making a very long tag so that the people who are not interested in reading the spoilers can skip the post safely!! ~~~~~~~ }}#{{ All right!! So the first thing I find fishy in this interaction is the fact that Kaeya just… }}#{{ reveals that he is from Khaenri’ah to the traveler like it’s no big deal }}#{{ Uhm. Huh. I thought that was a secret he was deeply invested in keeping; so things are not exactly adding up here }}#{{ because remember how that was; you know; a thing..? Remember that letter Kaeya saved from the fire }}#{{ that confirmed he was from Khaenri’ah and belonged to the Alberich family? }]#{{ without his father's knowledge and permission; because that information was too highly confidential to NOT remain a secret... }}#{{ and one that he still hides to this day? You know. You remember; right; hyv? come now; it was only a few patches ago. }}#{{ the fact that he revealed it like it was no big deal makes me??? question a lot of the decisions that were made here. }}#{{ Keeping his heritage a secret has been a character motivation for Kaeya. I’m bothered about this decision on hyv’s part; actually }}#{{ not to say that the reveal was never to be done; but it could have been handled properly. }}#{{ and not so casually over some mid afternoon drink time as if it holds no importance whatsoever }}#{{ also this interaction??? A total act. I refuse to believe otherwise }}#{{ 'caring less and less about khaenri'ah?' sir; the guilt and sense of duty/responsibility that consummes you daily says otherwise }}#{{ 'My father left me in Mondstadt simply because he wanted me to have a better life?' huh. perhaps one reason; but not the only one }}#{{ nor THE reason. we have had multiple proof; so this is kaeya lying through his teeth for the sake of alleviating the conversation }}#{{ 'My surname is the only link I have with Khaenri'ah'? Read points mentioned above. Deceit deceit deceit. }}#{{ this entire interaction was a calculated; studied act; and I'm calling it as it is. if hyv intended otherwise --- too bad. }}#{{ because I'm making it my canon. }}#{{ and I truly hope that in hyv canon kaeya is being the 'you can only trust half of what he says' Kaeya; because if hyv is making Kaeya }}#{{ honest in this precise moment.... like if those words are his genuine thoughts from hyv's perspective; then; Kaeya; I'm so sorry }}#{{ but i want to have faith in hoyo; and I want to believe that they haven't forgotten Kaeya as a chara and his motivations }}#{{ and the fact that he was intended to be a khaenri'ah spy in mondstadt. something which generated a lot of conflict in his life. }}#{{ so don't @ me w/ 'oh yeah; I don't have any link or interest in khaenri'ah whatsoever haha khaenri'ah what is that?? never heard of it }#{{ anyway. Interesting to see it confirmed that Kaeya and Dain do not know each other formally; but that Dain has been spying on Kaeya }}#{{ and does not trust him. interesting dynamic. obviously kaeya didn't like having been studied and observed }}#{{ Kaeya being the Abyss Order Founder's descendant? Honestly; not surprising!! I had my suspicions. }}#{{ the clues were always there. 'heart of the abyss'. A heart is a vital part for any organism and by extent institution to function }}#{{ and so; too; is Kaeya a vital part of the abyss scheme; regardless of whether he wants to or not }}#{{ and there were other signs of it too. He has been seen communicating with them multiple times. recall diluc's introduction. }}

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kaidanalenkosprmanager · 8 months ago

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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: SUR'KESH

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Wrex With: Lt. Steve Cortez, Dr. Mordin Solus, Major Kirrahe, and Urdnot Bakara And a Special Guest Appearance by: Adm. Steven Hackett Alliance R&D has officially begun construction on the Prothean device. The team has dubbed it: "Project Crucible". We're throwing everybody who knows how to throw a hammer at it. This is gonna be the most ambitious undertaking in human history. I'm not saying it won't be a challenge- but we can do this, Shepard. You can do this. Never doubt that. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

+BONUS (the smirk™️)

#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #urdnot wrex #steve cortez #mordin solus #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #i feel like i probably should have split the actually sur'kesh set in half like i did with mars #but i got lazy after i split out the normandy summit gifs and i wanted to keep the rest of the mission together lol #wrex having small conversation moments with james and EDI was everything to me #bc with both of them it felt like wrex passing on some of his old kid on the block knowledge to the new kids on the block and i just 🥺#like i didn't get it in the gif but the second part of that convo with james he says something like #'you're one of shep's new recruits? hang on kid- it's a hell of a ride!' and when i tell you i SOBBED #like the entire first half of this playthrough is soph taking her newer squadmates out to help her build the army for the reaper war #so running into all these old friends/teammates and hearing them share their wisdom with james and EDI as new recruits is everything to me!#also EDI and james look very cute in their armor (ESPECIALLY EDI IN HER HUNTER HOOD I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR)#i'm just gonna say wrex's little tongue out at the salarians in the background of padok's gif sent me so hard i had to include it LMAO #and i'd write something about the mordin cameo but the mordin cameo on tuchanka is better so i'll save my thoughts for that one #ig thanks for being wrex's inside man mordin you were real for that one #the real salarian homie of this mission was kirrahe and i love him (he's my favorite and i adore him thank you for coming to my TEDtalk) :)#and i will also say that i adore bakara and she's the highlight of this mission for me bc of the lines but also like???#her grabbing the shotgun from wrex to take out the cerberus troops is everything and his expression afterwards is *chef's kiss*#and SOPH'S LITTLE SMIRK LMAOOOOOOO i had to include it bc i saw it in the back and it sent me to the next dimension lol #and since i just use the tags to share all my annoying little thoughts on a final note:#i included the elevator bomb scene bc in soph's canon she gets injured during it for the shenko angst pre-coup bc i'm an angsty bitch :)

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fructidors · 1 year ago

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conversation about gay sex! at rosh hashanah dinner

#my Gay Step-Cousin (tm) had somehow also heard of how harold bloom invented a new word for gay sex just for. fun #and the entire rest of the family wanted in on that conversation for some reason #which led to my grandma mishearing and my cousin and i repeatedly saying “gay sex” slower and slower to her which was. hilarious honestly #thank god for him honestly. saving grace of that entire side of the family

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shiftermod · 1 year ago

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Old thoughts about the old blog, circa 2012

The single biggest problem with the invasion is that now ponies know that Changelings exist, and that's where I drew my initial inspiration when I started: the blog was originally supposed to chronicle a downward spiral for Ponyville—fraught with soldiers, paranoia, the occasional angry mob, and a move toward intense nationalism, because the abrupt realization that lovesucking shapeshifters exist would do awful things to society as a whole. Suddenly the ponies have An Enemy who could be anywhere and be anyone, and they only know bare bones basics about that enemy. Rumors would be flying, children would be teased or assaulted based on their appearance, and dissent would be silenced as "unponylike." I was eventually going to head toward book burnings and a sanctioned assault on the library by the local military regime acting "in the name" of Celestia but without her sanction. And soon enough "the old Ponyville" is gone.

That eventually evaporated when I started interacting with other blogs, and when Season 3 got underway and Ponyville was still Ponyville. You can't have a pony from a happy version of Ponyville show up in a version of Ponyville that is slowly creeping toward what might eventually become fascism.

"If you see something, say something. Report suspicious behavior. Call local law enforcement."

"Never forget who the enemy is! Remember, anypony could be a Changeling."

"Do you have what it takes to stand up to the Changelings? Do your part for Equestria. See your local recruiter about joining the Guard."

#mod post #so it turns out I have a ton of old notes and skype conversations saved in Scrivener #and this is one of them #well two of them because the propaganda posters were from the same period but another document #and I am looking through them and seeing how drastically Metamorphosis has evolved #from a depressed risk averse loner to an entrepreneur and pillar of the local community whose entire goal is to be the best boss ever #and the best husband and father ever #and get all the cuddles #the first slogan was NY MTA in late Sep 2001 #and then was licensed to DHS in 2010 #the second and third are Battlestar Galactica

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quibbs126 · 2 years ago

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Yeah…pretty sure I’m not passing engineering. Which means I will most likely have only passed 1 class this semester

*sigh* well, I guess I just have to hope to do better next semester

#like…my final is not saving this no matter how good I do #that’s only 20% of my grade #the things that killed me were 1: not doing my homework and quizzes #but most damningly 2: my labs #I showed up to them all but it’s Labs 1 and 6 that did it in for me #Lab 1 I got confused on what section I was in and showed up on the wrong lab week #but also I wasn’t told to do any of the report so I had no part in it so I wouldn’t get points #Lab 6 was entirely online and my group never contacted me so I got no points #but also I didn’t make the effort to contact them so no points #(I just had an email conversation about this with the grader so I know it’s true)#sorry I just need to talk about this #I know I probably shouldn’t be posting info about my personal life but I have no one else to talk about it with #real life stuff

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ronanlynchbf · 2 years ago

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ronan and adam should’ve had a real conversation in greywaren they should’ve both been awake and should’ve argued the way they did back in the days because emotions are running High so naturally there is a reverting back to their younger selves and they should've started to calm down a little after said arguing and have an actual good thorough conversation afterwards in which ronan actualy apologizes to adam because let’s be real there was one needed and they make it clear what they want for the future and how they want it to pan out and how things are gonna work out and about what home means to each of them and about how each of them were keeping secrets from each other and how to avoid hurting each other in the future by not talking to each other and to stop keeping those heavy secrets to themselves with the thought that it’s only going to bother the other and “they were wanted they were wanted they were wanted” is actually brought across by them communicating this to each other in Real Actual Words and after this very good very lengthy very needed conversation they can hug as their actual real life corporeal bodies with their ribs still fitting together just as they had before and with adam’s hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it always did

#MAGGIE U ARE NOTHING #sorry that's not true. but she should've made them have an actual Conversation instead of the copout that was that greywaren chapter #no matter how dear it is to my heart and how many emotions it brings up and how romantic it is. she could've done the conversation and then #the soul merging like do both y'know. love wins.#also she should've never made adam a c*p. and she should've never made declan forgive niall Completely and Entirely and made declan #view him as Flawless all of a sudden and she should've never made the epilogue Like That and should've never have it so that the new fenian #and mór live at the barns and should have made it so that hennessy was the one saving the world because ronan would've chosen to save adam #(BECAUSE. the choice was death or hurting adam. which wasn't much of a choice at all!) wherein - again - ronan saves adam because duh and #hennessy goes on to save the world instead. also should've never done the whole thing with nathan that was FOUL of her why is it BOMBS #of all fucking things and also should've given carmen and hennessy more development and also should've never done the moderators plot #(though in all fairness That in particular was the publishing company i'll give her that) and also should've given matthew more.#more of what you ask. well just very simply More. like what we were given was so little and so like. lackluster? also should've given decla #and matthew a conversation after he was gone for so long should've seen an actual reunion with the two of them and ronan as well should've #seen that declan & ronan actual (awake) reunion we never got to see either should've gotten an adam and matthew reunion as well because the #are brothers too!! also should've never done that whole thing with declan completely taking away matthew's autonomy and letting him sleep #for days just because he didn't want to deal with him bc like that was so fucked up actually and also should've never done carmen dirty the #way she was done dirt and also --------#trc #dreamer trilogy #sorryyyy the more i sit on greywaren the more dissatisfied i become.....why not let them have an actual conversation it would've been much #more meaningful and would've made much more sense because ronan and adam have always had their communication problems and r both #stubborn assholes who are mostly private and who should've had that moment because it would be a nice tie-in and conclusion and just #would've been so much more meaningful to see them grow like that and actually communicate for real.#i actually LOVED some of gw (numquam solus....LIKE.) but overall it just felt so off idk. who was it that said every gw chapter individually #was good but all together it just wasn't All That because yeah.#also i am. feverish so idk if any of this even makes sense at all 🤨 double also if you read this u should picture me pacing around my room #talking 2 myself because that is me rn...in spirit because i can't get out of bed 👍

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robinsnest2111 · 8 days ago

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tfw I find out that some problematic behaviours, thoughts, and urges I experience when in a stressful/triggering situation are actually considered black and white thinking

hmm. interesting. I wasn't aware that that's what I'm doing.

#stuck in ig reels and there are A BUNCH of way too relatable things on there tonight #like the bit about criticism and how the person in the video rejects AND internalises it at the same time #and it's like different versions of her fighting over which feeling wins out in the end and it's a constant struggle #LIKE THAT'S ME THAT'S ME I DO THAT #also with the internalising bit: still stuck on the last serious talk i had with my boss #and whenever i get a reminder of the situation and the issues she brought up i wanna die SO BAD.#like wanna be shot wanna have my throat sliced up wanna get my lights knocked out wanna jump into traffic type of wanna die #and i still have that stupidly persistent feeling of dread whenever i think about work and facing my boss #because i feel so stupid and unworthy and like everyone hates my existence and how i should be fired and killed immediately #over something relatively minor. BUT MY BRAIN IS MAKING IT A BIG ISSUE. EVEN 2 WEEKS LATER.#when will the suicidal feelings over this thing pass lol #like. I've been stuck in this mode ever since the conversation. and idk how to get out #if i don't blast my brain with 3 different types of distraction i remember how awful i am and feel the need to be killed on the spot #forever waiting for the other shoe to drop. i feel like i need to be punished. to be killed. but it's not happening and that has me on edge #Like I NEED TO BE PUNISHED FOR MY SINS. SLAP ME PUNCH ME STAB ME SHOOT ME KILL ME!!!!!!!!!#and the infernal urge to run away change my name and appearance and start new. radical clean slate style #get this urge whenever i make a mistake or someone's unhappy with me and my behaviour etc.#like the urge to completely change myself and become a different person entirely and get as far away from my usual environment as possible #so i can stop harming everyone and everything around me by somply being the stupid flawed callous creature i am #because no matter how hard i try to be authentically me in harmless ways it always ends up backfiring and hurting people #and maybe if i change EVERYTHING about me and try to be so radically opposite of what i am maybe then it'll all be okay for once #not let people close don't interact too much just keep to myself to keep others save idk......

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inact-ice · 18 days ago

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Ok watching talistheintroverts’ video on companies torpedoing themselves and I swear to god there is a very clear connection between the way TikTok has emboldened white people to bastardized aave in new and more egregious ways than ever before, and with the way people use TikTok slang like ‘unalived’ irl.

One of these is worse than the other but white people mainly care about 1. Hint* it’s partly caused by racism (and specifically anti blackness) but certain people ignore that factor completely

#I’ve started just scrolling past any type of post I see about people complaining about people using TikTok lingo irl #and then proceeding to blame it entirely on individuals #I can guarantee you that such a post also has people saying that censorship like that doesn’t even exist on TikTok #I’m getting really sick of having to have this damn conversation over and over again #anyways #the things that have been done to the exclamation gyatt alone should be grounds for imprisonment Jesus Christ #the TikTok ban is like an undeniably bad thing and if/when it goes through it’ll set a very bad precedent for American democracy #but if it does go through at the very least white peoples crimes against aave will be stopped #one can hope #I’m African and Canadian not African American #but the number 1 way I explain the dangers of cultural appropriation is what people on TikTok are doing to aave #even the most stubborn African uncle who thinks that white supremacy will save us is like no yeah that is actually insane #rambles #rants #TikTok #I just started thinking and then I started yapping

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