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ineffable-romantics · 2 years ago

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 2 months ago

Text

Some headcanons about queer acceptance among the different amphibian species which I came up with for the purposes of my fic

FROGS

There are some rare species of frogs in real life that can change sex according to enviromental pressures. This is true in Amphibia as well. The existance of a biological precedent results in frog culture having a pretty well-established concept of "gender transition" as a normal part of some frogs' lives. This doesn't mean frogs who can change sex can do it on command, or that the change is related to gender identity. It's not, more often than not, but this also means there's a precedent for a frog's gender "not matching" their sex, if someone changes sex involuntarialy. The presence of these frogs, while rare and only found in some regions of the continent, has resulted in the relationship between sex and gender not being self-evident in frog culture. While most transgender frogs can't "naturally transition" and have no acces to either the medical technology or magic to transition physically, they're considered completely normal. Frogs whose sex "doesn't match" their gender because of an involuntary change resulting from enviromental pressures are considered a different identity from frogs who socially transition because their gender identity "doesn't match" their agab, since these are different experiences.

Frogs die like flies, that's just a fact. The average way to die is being eaten by a giant bug before reaching 40. This means that 1) a lot of frogs are orphaned from a young age and 2) parents can't reliably expect their biological children to inherit property. So, adoption is incredibly common. Unlike in the case of newts and toads, biological ties are not a requirement for transmision of lands, property or titles (it's rare for frogs to have titles, but there are some cases), so same-sex couples pose no obstacle in the community's social reproduction. If anything, they're valued precisely due to their inability to have biological children, because it means there will always be a surplus of child-free adults in a community to adopt and protect orphaned tadpoles. A couple without children will be better equipped to care for an orphaned child than a family with lots of children.

Arranged marriages are common, especially in rural areas. Kids will often be engaged to each other from a young age as an agreement between their respective families in order to establish social alliances, protect property and ensure a good social standing. Parents often take into account their children's feelings on the matter and will try to find them an agreeable match, but they're the ones with the final word. Because heterosexual unions are still more common than same-gender ones, most arranged marriages are between male and female frogs. Same-gender arranged unions exist, but they're rare. A young frog is expected to fulfill the arrangement regardless of their sexual orientation, but because the main concern has to do with legal ties of inheritance, some spouses will allow their partners to pursue other people without their families' knowledge.

TOADS

Toad culture is incredibly militarized. They are considered legal adults by age 15 and, through a yearly lottery, many are expected to fulfill 15 years of compulsory military service in a Toad Tower, most likely one far away from where they were born. If your name comes out in the lottery, there are a few ways to avoid having to go. One is being extremely rich and buying your way out of it. Another is being disabled in a way that would incapacitate you to fight. While there are positions in the tower that don't require much physical prowess (there are stewards, tailors, cooks, scribes, accountants etc) these typically require some previous training. The toads drafted are used as foot soldiers. You can always also run away and become a bandit or a mercenary, which is very common. The fourth option is having biological children. Many toads will have children very young and give them up for adoption after a year, which means toad orphanages are brimming with unwanted tadpoles. Those, plus the ones whose parents died. This means adoption is also common in toads, though many of these young toads will grow up in the orphanage before joining a toad tower at age 15 willingly, hoping to make a name for themselves and earn a better life. Now, in a tower, same-sex relationships are actually more widely accepted than heterosexual unions, because a couple having biological children would force their captain to relieve them of their post. It would become an incredibly easy way for soldiers to abandon the towers without being labeled as traitors. There are a few incentives not to try this - a toad that completes their services will be set up for life, but one that doesn't, even through "legal means" such as becoming unable to fight or having children, won't get anything (if that sounds horribly ableist to you, it's because it is. The point is to save resources by providing for as few veterans as possible). If you're an orphan who comes from nothing, you really want to avoid that. Anyway, same-sex couples don't have that problem, so they give their captains less of a headache.

There are no toad species capable of naturally switching sexes, and since their encounters with frogs are often limited unless they live in a frog-majority town, their concept of gender transition is a bit more awkward. Many don't understand the purpose, or think it's a frivolous thing, a waste of time, something for soft-hearted frogs and the toad civilians that become too enamored with them. If it involves lots of introspection and consideration of your own feelings, it's worthless. Sure, they'll respect your pronouns if you insist on it, but they'll probably think you're pathetic and weak.

Toads have very little concept of individuality. The idea of "being your true self" sounds ridiculous to many, because the system crushes a toad's self. Caring about things like identity would make you sound self-important, pretentious, egocentric. A toad does not sit on the window to ponder their feelings. No one cares about their feelings. Sometimes they act on them, but they don't think about them.

Most toads don't own anything. The small portions of land given to veterans return to the Crown once they pass, and their children will have to find somewhere else to live. Many times, they join a tower, because they grant them some stability and security. They don't have titles either. Unless a family manages to buy land and/or property, there is no inheritance. Once a family acquires it, however, preserving the inheritance becomes a big priority. But unlike frogs, ancient laws hailing from the age of the old Toad Lords determine that only biological children may inherit. That means that if a family already has biological children, they're not likely to adopt, because that would only cause trouble and leave their adopted child with nothing. So, most heterosexual couples won't adopt, resulting in most cases of adoption coming from same-sex ones.

This leaves families with same-sex parents at an extreme disadvantage. Many toads will move on from same-sex relationships after their service and settle in heterosexual marriages in order to achieve safety and security. Same-sex relationships are accepted in younger toads, but it's something you're supposed to move on from if you want a stable adult life.

Of course, this is just the "ideal" outcome. "Ideal" cases are rare even among heterosexual unions and many toads lead much different lives after their service: becoming bandits, staying unmarried, sometimes even going to college and pursuing a career. Not to mention that around 1/3 of toads are never drafted at all.

NEWTS

The thing with newts is that they live the most peaceful lives. The most dangerous areas of Amphibia are guarded by the Toad Towers, while newt nobles enjoy the safety of kinder, more gracious lands. Sudden deaths are rare, and orphans are rarer. Even if a child happens to lose both their parents, they will likely have aunts or grandparents to look after them. Adoption is much less common, which makes same-sex couples less important as a social institution.

The other thing! While frogs and toads reproduce through amplexus - a position in which the male lies on the back of the female to rub their cloacas together and inseminate her - which, for the purposes of this analysis, we'll say fulfills a similar role to sex in our world, newts engage in external reproduction. Basically, a male releases a package of sperm called spermatophore, which the female absorbs with her cloaca, without the need for physical contact. Which means that newts don't f*ck. And since reproduction occurs without "sex", they have no need for sexual attraction. Therefore, all newts are asexual (though aromanticism is rare).

Some newts may consider themselves above toads and frogs, who they see as being brutish and impulsive, unable to control their desires. Many toads and frogs see newts as being cold and unloving regarding "sex". Some newts in romantic relationships with frogs or toads may engage in amplexus for the sake of their partners.

There are no newt or salamander species with the ability to change their sex, so newts isolated in Newtopia, who know little of what happens outside the city walls, may have never heard about frogs who can. The concept of a sex change is foreign to them. However, transgender newts do exist and, if they have the money, they have access to the best medical technology Newtopia has to offer, though it doesn't come with the social acceptance found in frog-majority regions.

Same-sex relationships are discouraged among noble folk due to the importance of inheritance, while working-class newts are more likely to engage in same-sex behaviors. Thus, homosexuality is considered something "impulsive" and "inelegant". A general bad idea if you care about your status at all.

SOME NOTES

Queer individuals don't face any extreme form of persecution. Gender transition and same-sex behaviors are strongly discouraged in some situations, but there are no laws prohibiting them and cases of violence against these individuals are practically unheard of.

Toads don't tend to identify with any specific labels, such as "gay" or "transgender", going off more by behavior than identity. A toad is not "gay", they simply practice gay activities.

Frogs do have different terms to identify transgender individuals, but not same-sex attracted individuals, who are also considered not to have any one specific identity but to engage in a varied arrange of same-sex behaviors.

Working-class newts are the ones most attached to the idea of labels and specific identities, while noble newts avoid the irremovability of labels, as they don't want rumors to stain their social standing. It's less world-dooming to be caught engaging in homosexual activities than to be forever labeled as a homosexual.

Arranged marriages between same-sex couples are only heard of among frogs, and even then they're rare.

The scientific term for frogs who can change their sex naturally is "sequential hermaphrodites". This is a very sciency term and while it's not considered offensive, different communities have different words for them. In Frog Valley, they're called "switchies". The Sundews are switchies! While Felicia and Ivy have never changed sex before, it's known that Sylvia has "switched" at least four times in her life! The term they use for transgender individuals who are not sequential hermaphrodites is "false switchies", which sounds bad, but has no pejorative connotations. it simply means the switching is purely social and not physical.

Anne is considered a "switchie" as opposed to a "false switchie" because she did "switch" some of her physical characteristics with the help of Maddie. Witches are very rare, especially in the south, so there are no specific terms for frogs who transition through magic, or even modern newtopian medicine.

#Raised in Amphibia AU #Amphibia #my posts #trans anne boonchuy #extremely niche and specific headcanons

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wisteria-lodge · 3 months ago

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2 things about Lily

It's obvious that she was the one to defeat Voldemort the first time around, not Harry, but Rowling refuses to elaborate on the spell, saying that she cast it accidentally (which... yeah sure, but then she created a world where only one mother and child could do it out of love... like did other children that suffered were not loved enough? oh i so dislike that). I don't know why Rowling does it. Like I always wanted it to be an actual spell that she (and James) researched and did as part of their back-up plan, but noooooo. A woman? Win against the big bad? In the 90s?? Noooo

Lily grew up with two people that we get to know intimately, and loved them dearly. Two very miserable, envious people, who likely hid their accents and the fact that they are of working class, two people who did everything, and sacrificed many things in order to be around characters who where wealthy. Two social climbers. And you know what Lily also did? This has to be deliberate. Like, I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think that Lily definitely wasn't as insane about social climbing as Severus and Petunia (I consider social mobility to be a positive thing!!), buuut she too married into money. So there is that.

I find it sad that the prospect of Lily being crazy ambitious and wanting to have better things are always portrayed as bad in fics, if it is discussed at all. You could have made her into a person who dreams about making it and give her a conflict about marrying into money, feeling like she will become a fake, and still craving that security! But nooooooo. Pefect perfection or a sleazy seductress, nothing else ever

Extremely good points. Wanting social stability is just a real, relatable thing, and it's got to be a lot for Lily, being told you're magic... and ADDITIONALLY learning that the power structure of the magical world that you live in now is super prejudiced against you? And there is an active dark wizard *currently* targeting people like you?

Also the sacrificial magic being cast accidentally never made sense. Harry does the same thing (I guess) on purpose at the end, with the result that all of Voldemort's spells have trouble "sticking," because Harry sacrificed himself for EVERYBODY? But I mean Regulus also sacrificed himself to protect people from Voldemort, he didn't have to die. Dumbledore willingly died to protect... Harry, Draco, Snape? Shouldn't that have had some magical effect?

It honestly would have been *so* much easier to say that Lily defeated Voldemort with a spell that sacrificed the caster's life. That's very cool, old-magic vibes.

But... this slots into an larger trend with the way JKR writes passivity and self-negation as heroic traits. The best example of this is Newt Scamander, her hero with the central traits "neutral" and "pacifist." But even with Harry... there's a reason he doesn't level up his core spells, and is most heavily associated with a disarming spell that he learns in year 2 and a shield spell he learns in year 3. JKR actively doesn't want him to be a combat character. It is *true* that Harry does not cast a single spell on-page in the entire first book. He does more magic later, but that original tendency is still there: there's a reason most of Harry's level-ups consist of loot given to him by loved ones, and not so much skills that he improves. JKR's ethos on power (expressed through Dumbledore) is that the people who handle power best are the people who don't want it.

And unfortunately... leveling up your spells on purpose... now that sounds like something that a person who WANTS POWER would do. Casting super duper powerful spells accidently (which harry also does, constantly) (and Lily does, of course) ... now *that* is much more morally pure.

#hp #lily evans potter #harry james potter #jkr critical

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tanadrin · 23 days ago

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The recent talk about what would the democrats need to do the next election cycle to undo whatever damage done by Trump is possible to undo, and the observation that the US political system does already have to tools to do it on paper got me thinking, specifically about why this is happening much more than how

The present situation in the US, in a lot of ways, reads like a crisis of political will more than anything to me. But what I can't for the life of me come up with is, why is this will so lacking?

Even right now, a lot of Trump's actions could be halted if the political will existed to do so - not just among the politicians, but the average American person. Fed workers physically blocking DOGE employees, or just all the IT personnel forgetting all the server passwords and having a convenient server outage, hell just actually heated protests instead of some peaceful marches could make a dent. And politicians could of course also do more, all sorts of high ranking figures from illegally fired officials to House and Senate members could for example respond to the "move fast and break things" approach by, themselves defying dubious-but-technically-maybe-legal exercises of executive authority first and waiting for a lawsuit second, instead of the other way around. But that too, of course, needs to rest on an energised base that would appreciate this sort of thing to make the very real personal risk worth it

All of which sort of comes back around to political will - there exist solutions, but there seems to be an utter absence of actual electoral enthusiasm amongst the average American about actually using them - about asserting that this is a big deal and having a fight about it. Enthusiasm from the centre and left of it, anyways - the US right has sort of manifested that exact energy, and is using it exactly to do what they're doing right now

So like, what happened/is happening there with it? Why is the average American that actually participates in political life so apathetic to all if it, even the ridiculous bullshit they express a dislike for every time a poll or vote actually gets them to express an opinion on?

I am hardly an expert on this, but I think a big part of it is 1) the rot in the Republican Party specifically, and 2) the collapse of leadership in Congress generally, and I think these two things are related.

Movement conservatism has been hollowing out the Republican party as a "normal" political force for decades, and it really ramped up during the Bush years, when conservative political leaders and legal figures had to make increasingly contorted arguments for blatantly unconstitutional actions whose real justification was something like might makes right. The victory of Obama in 2008 accelerated the collapse because a certain kind of white American saw a black man get elected president and just kind of went crazy; they had to construct a post-hoc justification that wasn't "I still actually believe in the Jim Crow era racial hierarchy," and they couldn't really.

Movement conservatism also drove polarization in Congress starting in the 90s under Newt Gingrich, and Congress becoming a place for scoring political points rather than enacting policy, plus increasing deadlock (which again, accelerated under Obama, when figures like McConnell decided the play was to be as obstructionist as possible) de facto devolved a lot more responsibility on the executive and judicial branches. But you also saw, for instance, complete dereliction of duty to control and oversee warmaking and surveillance power under Bush--because, you see, that might open you up to some kind of political attack! Congress now is simply terminally afraid of taking a stand on anything, since to do so might endanger individual members' chances of re-election. And now that the Republican party is a Trump personality cult, there's no non-Trump wing of the party to appeal to against Trump's worst excesses; and feckless Democrats, who do not know how to actually demonstrate political leadership anymore, think the only solution to declining popularity is to try to chase the things that Trump does that seem to not be completely unpopular. Of course much of the electorate is zoned out--everything that comes out of any politician's mouths these days (save Trump and AOC and a couple of others) is a stock phrase that's been through a dozen focus-groups. The signal-to-noise ratio is abysmal, most political media does this simpering both-sides thing where they have to somehow act like the dull centrists and the rabid fascists both have valid points, and cynicism/doomerism/conspiracism runs wild on the social media that most people get their political coverage from anyway.

(And it doesn't help that the way American political parties are organized is stupid, and leaves them without any kind of central apparatus that can shape and direct political strategy when they're out of power)

obviously i am flattening out a lot of nuance and detail here for the sake of fitting it all in two paragraphs, but in the most general terms that's what i feel like is going on

#us politics #it is not unfixable #but it's a bad place for your politics to be in

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just-a-girl-who-loves-tmr · 3 months ago

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Headcanons

Recovery, Post death-cure, safe haven

(I’m sorry in advance)

Tw: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts/attempts, self harm, panic attacks etc

Thomas

- This man has some extreme survivors guilt from everything.

- He gets flashbacks, especially in dreams, of him working with WICKED, helping them build the maze and having to watch his friends through the beetle blades.

- He feels responsible for everything his friends went through in the glade and for not trying harder to help them (even though the others have continuously told him that they don’t blame him and it wasn’t his fault).

- Even through the scorch, he feels guilty for not doing more to help because if he had only acted faster, they might not be there at all.

- He sometimes has panic attacks because of this and on the worst days he wishes he could have died instead of his friends because he feels like their deaths were his fault.

- Occasionally he turns to self harm, believing that he deserved to feel the pain he put his friends to.

- Newt found him once with the knife in his hand and immediately stopped him, cleaning the cuts and making Thomas promise never to do it again because nothing was his fault and he doesn’t deserve to feel pain.

- Newt then makes it a regular occurrence to draw little butterflies on Thomas’s wrist and arms (iykyk)

- Newt got really worried the first time Thomas had a panic attack in front of him because he didn’t really know what to do to help but he slowly figured out little ways to calm him down.

- Taking him to a quiet, familiar place, helping him breathe, making him tea and cuddling up with a blanket and a movie on in the background

Newt

- I think I already covered this in another post but being sick is a huge trigger for Newt. He gets super edgy and Thomas can tell. He continuously checks his arms just in case the veins are black

- I’m convinced he’s got Emetophobia (fear of throwing up) because it triggers memories of when he had the flare and he felt nauseous all the time.

- His immune system is weaker than everyone else’s so he gets sick a lot more often than the others and even a simple cold would have him shivering in bed all day with tea and five blankets

- Newt also doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that he’s sick because he doesn’t want people fussing over him and asking him if he’s okay so he will just say ‘I’m fine’ as he’s actively throwing up.

- He usually distances himself whenever he’s ill because he’s scared that he’s not cured and is going to snap and hurt someone but Thomas isn’t having it.

- Thomas will wrap him up in a blanket and hug him until Newt stops struggling to get away and melts into a little shivery puddle in Thomas’s arms

- Once he’s finally accepted that he is ill, Newt becomes very very clingy towards Thomas and stays in bed all day with tea and a hot water bottle

- I also think Newt and Brenda would be really good friends in the safe haven because they’ve both had the flare before (obviously Brenda was cured relatively quickly but still) so they can relate to each other and Newt sometimes feels like Brenda’s the only one who really knows what he went through, so he talks to her about it when he doesn’t want to go vent to Thomas or Minho

- He has a lot of nightmares from when he was a crank, often dreaming that he had died or else had cracked and hurt someone and more than once has woken up screaming with tears in his eyes and blood in his mouth because he bit his tongue so hard.

- His broken leg gets better over time but it never fully heals. Jorge told him that he should really be using a cane or a crutch but Newt done right refuses either because he hates people making a fuss over it and he will still work even if the pain is so bad he literally has to hop around (Thomas isn’t having this either and drags Newt to bed and massages his leg for him)

- Newt still had suicidal thoughts. They aren’t as strong as they were in the glade and he doesn’t seriously consider trying anything but it’s always in the back of him mind. Thomas is the one who gets him his little safety pin necklace because he knows it’s something Newt struggles with ( and yes Newt did cry when Thomas gave it to him. Tell me I’m wrong)

I will do Minho, Gally, and everyone else but I’m splitting it up into different posts just so y’all aren’t waiting forever <33

#tmr #the maze runner #tmr newt #safe haven #tmr thomas #newtmas #newtmas headcanons #thomas headcanons #newt headcanons

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petalruesimblr · 6 months ago

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Phantom's Keep

Sim File Share (currently slow due to Simblreen traffic. I will upload a few days after the event so check my Downloads page for updates.) Dropbox

Welcome to Phantom's Keep, where the only thing spookier than the décor is your Sims' cooking skills! This charming little castle boasts one bedroom for all your witchy needs and a secret door that leads straight to the potion pantry - because who needs a grocery store when you have bat wings and eye of newt? Perfect for those late-night spellcasting sessions, just watch out for the occasional ghostly roommate. Get ready for a Halloween treat that’s simply to die for!

Price Furnished: 131,371 Price Unfurnished: 62,298 Lot Size: 20x30 Lot Type: Residential Store Content: Click here CC Used: Click here File Type: Package Min. Required Game Version: 1.42 Packs Needed: The Sims 3, World Adventures, Pets (Wallpaper), Generations (Wallpaper and Stairs), Late Night and Seasons

Hello and welcome back to my blog!

As a final treat for this year's Simblreen (@simblreenofficial), I'm excited to share a house inspired by the spirit of the season! While the name of this lot may be a nod to Danny Phantom, unfortunately it isn't a replica of Pariah's Keep. Instead, it's designed to be a home fit for a modern-ish witch and I've included as many Halloween-themed CC items as I could.

I had a lot of fun building it and I hope you enjoy exploring it! If you missed the first and second treats, click the #Simblreen tag to check them out.

Click on the ’Keep Reading’ below for more information and pictures on this lot.

I’ve been considering getting the Supernatural expansion pack but something has always held me back into doing it and working on this house has made that temptation even stronger. Since I don’t have the pack, all witch-related objects are purely decorative. You can replace them with Supernatural objects like cauldrons, wands, etc. which can be stored in the hidden witches' potion pantry in the tower.

As a reminder, 📣 please note that the store content and CC included in the lot are not included on the download file. The lot may seem a bit sparse from above based on the floor plan pictures but this includes around 79 CCs. These are not required and will be automatically replaced in the game but if you want it to look the same as in the pictures, you can always go to my WCIF Navigation page, where I’ve compiled a list for those interested in downloading them separately.

I placed three fog emitters outside the house to create an eerie atmosphere, especially at night and as long as your game is patched to 1.42 or higher then you won’t need the Ambitions expansion pack for this to be available. However, the Generations and Pets expansion pack are required due to the build items used in the lot as stated in the Details section above.

If you want to check and/or remove the fog emitters, enable “testingcheatsenabled true” and “buydebug on” after.

This lot has been play-tested and let me know if you experience any problems on your end!

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d3ardaughter · 9 days ago

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I may be literally insane but I'm making my case for why I think Thomas is bipolar (not in a derogatory way but in just the sense of the diagnosis, love my boy but that some interesting behavior , there's some other stuff he has like Definitely like survivors guilt and probably PTSD too but yk)

(also mind you the aggressiveness is less about that int it of itself and more about not thinking abt the consequences)

What are the symptoms of bipolar disorder?

It's characterized by intense highs and lows that can last a long to a short time and frequent to not frequent

Impulsiveness is also common

Thomas has a whole list of impulsive things he did that's teetering on not normal (which he is a traumatized child but still making my case); (these are only off the top of my head)

- running into the maze right as it was closing to help Minho and Alby

- stabbing himself with the griever stinger to know if he was a bad person or not like the memories wicked planted in Gally and Ben's heads were right (which also meant bc it could've killed him he was OK with the other outcome at the v least)

- deliberately getting himself shot (noticed this but he could've gotten out of that in the TDC movie and he nods at the gun so yk)

- beating the shit out of Gally (not thinking of consequences - in the book -- and freaking out bc he thought he actually killed him)

- beating the shit out of rat man (this happened at least twice I think?? + Killing him while it was self defense he also wasn't thinking of consequences and all and was upset but like don't blame him anyways)

- oh and waving the gun around and threatening people with it after newt died

- turning himself back into wicked out of grief

What can cause a bipolar episode? Stress, hormone changes, lack of sleep, something relating to past trauma or trauma, negative life events of any sort, losing a loved one (Newt)

What do bipolar episodes look like? Extreme highs; happiness, impaired judgement, impulsive behavior, anger, hyperactivity

Fatigue, persistent sadness/depression, difficulty concentrating, guilt, suicidal thoughts or ideation (passive)

I might be the only one reading it this way but it makes sense to me and make of it what you will

I also do acknowledge a lot of this was also stress and other factors

#Thomas tmr #tmr

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foursaints · 1 year ago

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humbly requesting the rosier twins hcs you have

mil i left this sitting for ages but it’s because i think about them too much </3. my favorites tbqh

i have this hc that twins are more common in magic families & fraternal twins don’t really exist. boy-girl pairs are exceptionally rare and they still come out nearly identical.

evan and pandora are raised by their 107-year-old grandparents in an old pureblood country estate, far from other children. rosier estate is dusty and eclectic and littered with these bottle-glass greenhouses

they’re BOTH trans. but they grew up so wrapped in each other, so used to trading places, when they are about 7 they resolve this by simply swapping names.

pandora is born “evan” and vice versa, and when they make the permanent switch no-one thinks twice

they’re scientists/inventors at their core. theyre lowkey neglected and free to explore the estate & experiment. very weird, morbid children. always want to know what’s at the center of things. they “hide” their experiments by nodding their heads demurely, saying they were at their studies, but they were at the brook catching newts to practice homemade spells on

evan is the healer & doctor. he cares about how bodies work. pandora is the chemist & spellmaker. she cares about how magic works.

they both are low empathy but pandora is more outwardly charming so it’s harder to tell.

VERY undersocialized. i think they were homeschooled until 3rd year & coming to hogwarts is a tough transition for them. at school they start switching places again (to get out of classes, take exams for the other, etc)

related to that: pandora is the talented duelist, the more magically gifted. when people describe evan as such, they were probably seeing her in his place. evan’s the more meticulous. his experiments don’t go awry like hers do

evan’s patronus is a two-headed viper & pandora’s patronus is a two-headed mongoose because even the projection of their souls come in two halves. do you get it now???

people make the apollo/artemis parallel a lot but i disagree. i see them as perses & pasiphaë, twin golden-headed sorcerers, children of the sun, entwined like minks.

#evan rosier #pandora rosier #i love you medical malpractice twins.#evan meta tag #saints speaks 🐇

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keepmeinmind-01 · 3 months ago

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i sometimes see the interpretation that theseus is embarrassed of newt because newt doesn’t do well at the ministry. I would like to also offer an interpretation I’ve been thinking about a bit based on the official character card which says something along the lines of “theseus has been worried about newt getting into trouble with the Minsitry, but is now proud to see newt lead”.

just because i was thinking about how it would translate to a modern day governmental setting, and FB is quite anachronistic in parts, with the WW also placing a stronger emphasis on family name and blood too. so i was thinking —

realistically, if newt had been put under international terrorism charges (or generally, severe criminal charges) between FB1 and FB2, theseus would have been removed from operations due to their blood relation, would have been interrogated himself, would have had the whole family put under scrutiny, and likely would have had to balance defending newt with keeping his job and not being charged as well for being complicit.

I feel like a lot of the overbearing behaviour isn’t because he necessarily thinks newt is a waste of time for not working at the Ministry, but because a) yes it is more socially acceptable for newt to work there (theseus does have his head up his ass about this, or at least probably did at some point) but also b) it protects newt if he’s seen complying with them.

because theseus is only the head auror, not the head of the DMLE, and so constantly answers to a boss. that’s why i think Callum Turner explains why Theseus wants everyone close to him to join the ministry — to protect them. which i think is very interesting — clearly he has some awareness the ministry is corrupt (because he listens to Albus to an extent and says “it isn’t illegal to listen to [Grindelwald], we mustn’t be who he says we are”, etc.) so this feels very anxious??

and in conclusion, this has very nicely fed my headcanon that while the scamanders are a “Ministry” family and have a strong history of civil service, they have also experienced its corruption and so Theseus has grown up thinking Newt both has to be protected from and fit in with the Ministry, to keep him safe. I feel like it’s more worry than embarrassment. ramble over!

#fantastic beasts #theseus scamander #newt scamander

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seriousfic · 2 months ago

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You know, I think where Alien 3 really went wrong was in being too dark. And I'm not specifically talking about killing Hicks and Newt (and Bishop, and Ripley).

You look at Alien and Aliens, they're set in cynical, gloomy universes where if you survive the Lovecraftian horrors of the unknown, there are greedy megacorporations ready to get you. BUT that darkness is contrasted with the very human, ordinary, relatability of the characters.

The crew of the Nostromo is a bunch of working joes who bitch about the food. The Colonial Marines are likably cocky sumbitches who strut and boast. Yeah, both groups get rocked by the Xenomorph, but they're still fun to spend time with.

Can you name one character you'd like to spend time with in Alien 3? They're all a bunch of bald British weirdos, alternately rapey and culty, and you can't even tell the difference between most of them. Sure, I can see how that's even darker and gloomier than the first two movies, and could supposedly make the atmosphere more tense, but what it amounts to is you don't care about any of these people and you're really just there to see the Xenomorph do its thing.

Alien Resurrection, pretty much the same problem. Besides Ripley, there's the mad scientists who want to weaponize the Alien, the soldiers enabling them, and the irredeemable criminals who kidnapped a bunch of innocent people to feed to the Xenomorph lifestyle. Who really cares if all these guys get face-raped and chest-burst?

Later movies had the characters be scientific explorers and pioneering colonists--Romulus was probably the best of the lot by having the cast be latchkey kids trying to make good--but I don't think they ever recaptured the right balance of striving humanity and indifferent universe as the first two films.

#alien

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theinternetisaweboflies · 4 months ago

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Jägermeister

Chapter One: Celebration

“Your leg is killing us,” grumbled Newt.

“Well, pardon me for attempting to make haste.” Hermann rolled his eyes, which was particularly effective with the subconjunctival hemorrhaging. “It was merely the fate of the world at stake.”

Newt was pretty sure Hermann hadn’t been this sarcastic before the drift.

They were still in LOCCENT, because moving sounded like a lot of work, and they were officially off the clock.

The clock had stopped.

Newt knew one of them didn’t quite believe it yet, but he couldn’t tell if it was him or Hermann.

Hermann had collapsed in a nearby office chair after its owner vacated it in favor of joining the celebration that was spreading through the Shatterdome like a particularly noisy strain of flu.

Newt had been saving two bottles of alcohol for the end of the end of the world. They’d been stashed in the lab for five years, ever since he first got to Hong Kong and could take advantage of its open port. One was a bottle of blue Curaçao. The other was Jägermeister.

Newt had always wondered what public affairs person decided Jaeger would be the perfect name for their military-grade Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, when it was already sort of taken by a fairly infamous brand of German liquor, but it was kind of like when Coronavirus hit and nobody stopped drinking Corona. There were much bigger things to worry about.

Jägermeister was German for 'Master Hunter,' a title originally reserved for officials in positions related to game keeping and hunting. Newt seemed to have a stronger grasp on German history than he had before the drift, so he now knew that Hermann Göring had been a Reichsjägermeister, which was just patently fucking unfair.

If any Hermann ever deserved the title ‘Jaeger Master of the Realm', it was Hermann Gottleib.

Now they wouldn’t even get to drink their celebratory toast. Even Newt knew better than to mix alcohol with neural overload.

Some rockstar he turned out to be. Here he was, at the biggest party the human race would probably ever throw, and he was going to bed both early and sober.

At least, Newt hoped he was going to bed early. Even his hair hurt. Though not as much as Hermann’s leg.

“I still can't believe it’s the year 2025 and we had to deliver that message in person,” he said. “I mean, how could you have forgotten your phone?”

Hermann huffed and puffed for a moment before saying, “You didn’t have your phone either!”

“As usual, Hermann, you are wrong. I did have my phone. It was just in several pieces. Why? Did you try calling me or something?" Before Hermann could respond, Newt added, “How weird was it that the chopper’s radio didn’t work either? I mean, it was fine when you flew out to the bone slums, right?”

Hermann gave a tired hum of affirmation. “Murphy's Law?”

Maybe Leatherback had a baby too. Maybe it let off a tiny localized blast of organic EMP that took out the radio in a single PPDC helicopter.

Maybe Newt needed to go to bed.

“I thought you said Murphy’s Law was unscientific compared to… What was it called? The English Flatulence Formula?”

Hermann bristled. “You know perfectly well it is called the British Gas Formula, because the work was commissioned by British-”

Newt interrupted Hermann before he could blow a blood vessel in his other eye. “Yeah, yeah, but you've got to admit it was kind of cool getting to storm into LOCCENT and save the day.”

Hermann smiled suddenly. It was a little bit blinding, even through a cracked lens. “Did you actually call Hercules Hansen a fascist, or was I hallucinating?”

“Oh, shit,” Newt groaned. “I should probably apologize for that. I was sort of worked up, and he looks a lot like your dad did back in the 90s when he thought he could pull off a beard.”

Hermann's smile grew, impossibly, wider. “You were calling my father a fascist?”

“Look, the drift was a lot, alright? I mean, the first one was too, but in a completely different way. I- You know their minds don't work like ours. It did nothing to prepare me for a drift with another human being. Your mind-”

Newt cut himself off. He wasn't breathing but he was babbling, which should have been biologically impossible.

He sat down on the floor, leaning against the console where Hermann was seated. Someone rushing past them with a bottle of actual champagne accidentally stepped on his leg a little bit, but Newt was too tired to mind much. It wasn’t even the first time he had been stepped on that day.

The console was cold and hard, so Newt rested his head on Hermann’s knee instead. He didn’t realize this was an abnormal thing for him to do until it was too late. By then, Hermann was patting the top of Newt’s head, like he was a Japanese schoolgirl or a golden retriever.

If anyone in LOCCENT found this weird, they elected to ignore it in favor of whatever weird shit they were getting up to. Except for Tendo, who kept giving them double thumbs up. He also seemed to be collecting money from a lot of people. Newt and Hermann elected to ignore it.

“When did you get stepped on?” asked Hermann, who was now probing gently at Newt’s hairline like he was expecting to find a footprint. “Was that at the Anti-Kaiju Shelter?”

Newt's hair stood upright when Hermann's hand left it, even though the only product that could still be in it was kaiju placenta.

“On the way there,” said Newt. “Right before I hit the car.”

“You were hit by a car?” asked Hermann, frowning like he already knew that wasn't quite right.

“No, I hit a car,” said Newt. “It was parked.”

Hermann sighed. “You should really get checked out by Medical.”

“Hermann,” Newt absolutely did not whine. “This is the first party I’ve been to in years that I’m pretty sure I’m actually invited to. Can’t we stay for a little while?”

“If you can feel my leg, then you must know I can feel your ribs,” said Hermann. “Not to mention all the debilitating neurological damage.”

“Nah, man, that’s how my brain always looks.”

“Newton, you drifted with two kaijus.”

“The plural is still kaiju,” he said. “You know that drives me crazy.”

“Newton.”

“Fine!” Newt leaned into Hermann just enough to push his desk chair a few centimeters. “Only if you let me wheel you there.”

Hermann crossed his arms. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not? I know your hand is starting to spasm from white-knuckling that cane for the last hour or two.”

“Try day or two,” Hermann muttered.

“Come on, man,” Newt might have whined this time. “Our leg is killing us.”

“You sound like the Queen of England,” snapped Hermann, and then he giggled. It was a short, hiccupy thing, but it was an honest to Godzilla giggle. Newt had never gotten one of those out of him before, not even with the joke why you can’t hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom.

“You sound like the Queen of England.” Newt leaned into him again, but this time Hermann planted his feet on the floor so the chair wouldn’t move.

“Well, we are not amused,” said Hermann.

“Fine,” said Newt.

He had a theory that the Queen of England had died a couple of years ago and the one they put on TV just last month for Christmas was actually a deepfake. Whenever he brought it up, Hermann got all offended on behalf of queen and country, and his stupid posh accent got even worse for the rest of the day. So of course Newt brought it up constantly.

Newt stood up with little to no cursing and helped Hermann to his feet. Then he sidled up alongside him, much like Hermann had done to him moments ago when the clock stopped.

The clock had stopped.

This time, Newt slotted himself under Hermann’s armpit, and wrapped one arm around his waist.

“Alright, Your Majesty. Let’s go put on our gowns.”

...

@lastdaysofwar

#last days of war #pacific rim #newmann #newman fanfic #pacific rim fanfic

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crystaltoa · 1 year ago

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My take on the Turaga Nui, from Shauni's (@legend-as-old-as-time) WIP fic set in Rags' (@magicalgirlmascot ) KNPS AU. Snippets of the fic here and here.

In which the Turaga form a fusion in order to defeat the Rahi Nui, but their past experience with the Hordika venom results in the Turaga Nui taking on a somewhat ...unexpected form. After the battle, the Toa Mata catch up with them. Pictured here is Lewa having the appropriate reaction to finding out his six mentors have turned into some kind of weird dragon-chimera-kaiju thing.

Some design notes under the cut:

The Turaga Nui's form combines traits from the forms the Metru had as Toa Hordika, known in this universe as the Kini Nui werebeasts. So, this was my take on them individually here:

(The Metru's human forms can be seen here) I hope it's fairly self explanatory which features come from which werebeast, but a few other fun design notes...

So, in KNPS, the Toa Kaita look a lot like the Steven Universe fusions, with extra eyes and limbs. The Turaga Nui follows a similar logic but on a more bestial body layout.

The top two arms are the most humanoid, as TN signs in ASL as well as speaking aloud whenever it is practical to do so (i.e. when there is not a Toa of Air attached to their neck). The next two pairs of limbs can function either as arms or forelegs, so the digits are more paw-like.

The wings are obviously based on a snowy owl and come from Nuju's werebeast form. Male snowy owls typically have lighter coloured plumage while females have prominent black bars on their feathers. Nuju in particular would probably have been almost completely white as a werebeast given he's an ice Toa and has white hair in human form. The Turaga Nui, however, is composed of five men and one woman, so I gave them a small amount of barring on the tips of one wing while the other is plain white. (The bars also help tie it back to the badger stripes on their face from a design standpoint)

The Kaita have metallic gold or silver skin, I suggested black and white patterns for TN's colour scheme to make them visibly nonhuman but also distinct from the Kaita.

Shauni felt that there should be more accents of each element's colours, however, so we decided on the "black" scales actually having an iridescent sheen to them.

I'd already been planning to give TN spots similar to that of a newt, but didn't realise until I started doing it that white spots on black combined with the iridescent colours gives the impression of a night sky/galaxy pattern.

I had previously suggested the name "Tien" to Shauni (Turaga Nui = T.N. Said aloud it phonetically sounds like "Tien"). Turns out Shauni had the exact same thought. Furthermore, it's a name in several cultures, various meanings include "heavenly being", "celestial" and "sky" (An etymologically related name is the Chinese "Tianlong", which means "Celestial Dragon")

So, accidentally coming up with a name that means "celestial" and then accidentally making them look like a living galaxy was a fun coincidence.

Also, apparently one of Rags' favourite DBZ characters was named Tien, so that was a plus for her!

The tail has owl feathers but is structurally more similar to the tail of an aquatic newt.

The eyes are based on the Turaga's animal forms but the colours come from their eye-glow. The three eyes visible in the image are Vakama's (green), Matau's (red), and Onewa's (blue)

As previous;y mentioned, photographs of jumping ferrets helped in drawing the dragon's limbs . I also ended up referencing hairless cats to get a handle on what the paws would look like with no fur.

I did do a version that shows the full body pose, which I quite liked, but felt that the cropped composition above was better to show the character details given tumblr's scrolling format

#bionicle au #knps au #lewa #turaga metru #bionicle humanization #human bionicle #in which the turaga nui metru is a kaiju #and also a big dorky noodlebeast

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just-dol-headshots · 9 months ago

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(ngl Newt is cute too, I really like your artstyle) Looking at how Newt is really got at his job, he must know how to check all the work-related boxes for his Boss. Does he have some advice he can share at how to better your performance (in front of the hot boss)?

(previous)

“S-sorry,” Newt stutters. “D-did you say that you… WANT to work here? For the company? It’s… quite a lot of work. I spend most of my time in the office—I sleep here sometimes, hah…”

Newt hushes his voice for a moment and leans closer. “Are you certain you know everything you’re about to get into? This isn’t just some office job—t-the standards are really high, I mean…”

#jdolh art #jdolh ocs #not dol related #newt

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creepling · 1 year ago

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i had a eureka moment the other day and now i have a theory about potential killers and maps that may or may not come to the tcm game.

so yknow you have the radio/news broadcasts in the loading screen before a game, and they can sometimes be heard during gameplay. there is a lot of clues talking about crime that has happened within texas and especially in Newt or near it. this is where we know about johnny killing a college student and being attacked by her friends. they don’t say his name, but describe the killer as “late 20s, dark hair and eyes and multiple scars on his face and arms”. the devs confirmed this when they said how he got the scar on his arm.

we also got hints of nancy before her release in these broadcasts. strings of men dying in unknown circumstances and had poison in their system. this seems to fit nancy’s “black widow” characteristic and we know she has a hand for poison and hallucinogens.

this is when my theory comes in. surely when it comes to killers, not all can be part of the slaughter family. big families exist, but say the game does really well and it has years on running, getting new dlc third monthly. that becomes a lot. so why not open to have killers loosely related to the family but not blood related. neighbours, other insane families. what about the people the cook work with at the gas station? (seen in the movie, ie the guy that cleans the van), or maybe nubbins is part of a community of graverobbers that know each other?

here are potential characters and mals that might be in the game. sorry if i get names or details wrong, im doing it by ear:

martin wembley is mentioned in the broadcasts when his home was raided by police confiscating his animal jars. some were human remains, which he claims to not know about and thought it was “just regular animal stuff”. is this a potential killer? or someone buying nubbins’s weird oddities? either way, his hobby is questionable and can be linked to the family, especially nubbins. the broadcast ends saying he is held for questioning

a male body found near devil’s river off highway 163, SW texas, found by a hunter. this is also the location two female bodies were found supposedly a year before this event. all bodies have evidence of stabbing and strangulation. in gameplay nancy says “have you ever heard of devil’s river?” and i am guessing this is where nancy disposes unwanted bodies that johnny kills to ‘clean up his mess’, as the method of murder is very similar to his. devil’s river would be a very unique map and i hope we get more info about it.

there is also hints johnny may have been caught by police but let off due to lack of evidence. when cops followed a lead to a motel they found 36 year old Kelsy Keo (sp?) being subdued by a man ‘whos named is withheld’. it seems that he talked his way out of it, saying kelsy agreed to it during intimacy. he denied being the infamous killer that cops were looking for, and with the current timeline, it seems johnny was let off. could this kelsy be a potential new victim in game?

three youths are vandalising Lexington, TX. their work has been described as depicting ‘famine and the macabre’, similar to how the texas chainsaw massacre is described. authorities think 2 of the youths are sisters, but cannot confirm. could this be a possible duo that might be new characters? or is the string of animal bone vandalism painting a bigger picture to potential new maps?

justin austin is another name mentioned when he was arrested after a case of food poisoning was linked to his meat factory. he admits some of the meat was “tainted” by a rat infestation. he awaits trial for his carelessness and lack of food hygiene. could this hint to the slaughters possibly selling their meat is make ends meet? are there more people turning to cannibalism due to lack of resources and steady income like the family? with a game about cannibals, it’s hard to believe rats are causing this problem.

a high school dance was intruded by two men, Hackett Wayford and his son Grant and they attacked the teenagers with bladed weapons. the football team managed to tackle the men before they caused more harm. one boy who tackled them said they were “freak strong, like bulls or something”. they say nothing about their motives, but their mention of strength is interesting as it would make for good potential new killers. the use of freak also implies their strength was inhuman, so can the powder in game also be used as a performance enhancer later on for potential new killers? if it can give nancy visions, it’s not that far fetched.

“the terror of I40” is the murders committed by sissy on her hitchhiking journey from california to texas. it says it took place between 1971-1972 so in canon sissy returned to the family sometime in ‘72. with a razorblade, she attacked a man in his home but he was able to fight her off. sissy fled the scene, but the man never reported the incident right away for an unknown reason.

Hellum’s Ranch is a location mentioned when police arrived at the scene from a report about cattle abuse. instead, they found men dressed in white clothes and sun glasses poisoned and slumped in chairs. some where holding King James bible, which has association with the KKK. one man also held an item which the police described as a ‘manifesto’. it is unknown why these men poisoned themselves, but the police found large quantities of the substance in the area. is this ranch a potential new map, linked to a dark past? to me, i think this could lean more into a Jonestown situation than a KKK one. with the men holding bibles, poisoning themselves, wearing clothes similar to the Jonestown cultitist, it’s uncanny.

there is also a random mention of the Marfa Lights in the broadcasts. how this is linked idk how, considering the theories of them are linked to UFOS. Marfa, TX and its setting could be a new map in the future, but that’s the only thing i can think of.

Omar Parly (sp?) is a man mentioned for multiple offences in different counties. he spent 5 years in prison and continued crime after his release. his current whereabouts is unknown. potential new killer?

Gerrard Gaines found a burning truck on ‘his back forty’ (idk what this means sorry). on inspection he found the burnt body of an unidentified male and a large bag of money 30 feet away. i find this one VERY compelling as this man shares a surname with Danny. who is the unidentified man? why is there money? and is this man related to danny? if that’s danny in the car, and gerrard is related to him, is someone paying him for his troubles of losing a relative? if so, who? im completely stumped on this one and my assumptions are far fetched.

personal belongings are found to be linked to a missing couple, Tim and Tiara Divine. they disappeared during their roadtrip through the country of texas. their IDs where scattered near a river assumingly to be disposed of if they are previous victims of the slaughter family. since they are missing, maybe they are still alive and being held captive by the slaughters, hinting to potential new victims?

#texas chainsaw massacre #tcm game #headcanon #johnny slaughter #sissy slaughter #nancy slaughter #nubbins sawyer #drayton sawyer #bubba sawyer #scout.rambles

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