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#I Never Meant to Hurt You
stingrachelmha · 7 days
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Oh, my boy… I never meant to burden you like this
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approachme4fun · 3 months
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MissBanshee__
Gaming & LoveLife
I have tried literally everything regarding MissBanshee__,and getting us back to where we were before the argument,but my desperate efforts (showing her that i really cant function or live without her),is being met by blocks,bans and ghosting across the board. I still technically consider me her boyfriend,and her my girlfriend. As we never truly broke up with eachother.
I did a dumb reversed psychology thing,where i needed reassurance that she still loved me,wich i probably shouldnt have done. I also got abit too upset over the fact that she yet again neglected me,when she in reality herself had promised that the entire weekend were supposed to be "our time only",as she streams in the week days.
But lately shes been jumping on invites or other friends streaming lobbies,despite her saying to me things like her internet was gone,or her migraine really bothered her. I always wait patiently on my girlfriend then,because i know up front what is going on.
But this past weekend,she claimed her internet went out and i waited and waited for her to say it had come back. When i got tired of waiting,me going through random streams randomly stumbled across her laughing and having a jolly good time,online in a tcm lobby with people she apparently had told on her Thursday stream that: "Starting tomorrow and throughout the weekend,ill be spending it with my mans."
Again,this is not me putting restraints on MissBanshee__ (her twitch account) or making rules for her,like Megyhs (now a unseparated friend of MissBanshee__ thanks to me introdcing them to eachother) accused me of,on a recent Minecraft stream. (Megyhs has now followed blindly in MissBanshee__`s footsteps,just blocking or banning me wherever i try to reach out to make things right.
I have 2 main things i have anazlysed up and down i was ready to apologize for,1 is already said reversed psychology where i unfollowed her twitch and questioned her in ways that might have confused her. Again,all i needed was to hear her say that she loved me and wanted to stay as a couple,because what hurts even more then a F YOU Approach to my face,is hearing "maybe we should just rather be friends". As i cant live without her love,if she only let me explain....
I came from a state of mind where i didnt really have a life,it was a dark place of miserable existence. She came into my life,first talked me into adding her on discord,wich i was hesitant to. And after that over the following weeks she won me completely over,knowing about my past relationships that left me hurt and packed with mistrust.
She promised me she would never ever block me out of her life,the only thing she said was "It has to be you breaking up with me". I guess she could have viewed the unfollowing and general reversed psychology as one,but i was never going to. And since i can no longer apologize to her,i apologize to the masses on twitter.
I wish i didnt come off soo angry at her either,but in reality all she would have done to prevent this,was to let me know up front that she was invited or wanted to play with people she plays with the week through
And recently had been living ingame with over a 2 piece attempted 48hour stream that went with a small internet outage break,lasted long over 60ish hours,and just days after that another 24 hour stream,where i never had any real quality time with her whatsoever,and it was driving me slowly insane over the past weeks,where also our weekends was ruined by something or someone.
I love her that freaking much,she gave me a life of hope wich i havent had in YEARS! I could have done anything for her,and i did. I can not go into full detail about what i did for her,but it required often that i neglected my own need of sleep to be present for her whenever she needed me.
She had me 24-7 and i never complained,because i loved being her best support she has ever had. And my heart still wants to,thats why its soo heartbreaking that she cold and evil just blocks and bans me everywhere,even when im begging her for 5 minutes of her time on discord,where i can make everything okay again.
I even paied her 1USD for each minute of those minutes on PayPal,and while i was being respectful she was heard saying on her stream: "Can i block people on PayPal?" (I have that recorded btw)
So once again she hurt my feelings,and i told her some harshfull stuff,while still begging her to talk with me,and i also questioned her intensions,since she keeps hurting me and confusing me,as this is not the MissBanshee__ i once fell for.
She gave me life promises i couldnt believe that she wanted to do for me,that actually had me tearing up of happiness. Based on living things that meant too much to me f ex.
Now,i havent slept properly in going on 4 days,i keep waking up panicking,looking at the screen,hoping for a sign of contact from my woman,my girlfriend....future wife. A flimmer has even been in the picture. I can not function or eat without her daily love and support,the way i thought she couldnt live without mine. I thought we had similar strong feelings for eachother,but i seem to be the desperate one when it comes to trying to get through arguments and continue like we used to.
Learning from our mistaces,growing stronger as a relationship and couple,but she got over me before the actual argument had even gotten cold. She already has new besties she barely knows compared to me,and has replaced me on her stream screen,wich she honestly never even had on there.
Makes me question her on several areas,and the fact that shes over the top happy go lucky on her streams. I have heard about putting on a brave face,i know that feeling all too well,but i would have heard on her that she was truly sad and hurt on the inside,if thats truly what she felt like. I know her too well.
Im not gonna paint myself a saint in this argument,i did 2 things i wish i could take back,have undone/unsaid. But also honestly,she didnt do it easy for me by keep on neglecting me,and letting me find out on my own,that she was "breaking her own weekend rule,with people she LIVES ingame with throughout the week days".
I never play with her during the week anymore (before the argument) Because i back off and let her do her thing,i dont want to interupt,our playstyles crash and what not. I dont feel like im worthy of playing with her on stream,and she seems to have way more fun being over the top aggressive and toxic ingame,with sweaty players.
Im soo fu**ing respectful normally and patient its crazy,all i want from her is to let me know up front,if she runs off hanging out with people,when she has promised me that its our quality time,with no other persons involved.
Every day that goes by,i think of her every minute,every second. I cant stop breaking into tears,my heart aches too much,just longing for her to once again embrace me,wanting me also for the future.
I cant simply live without her,i havent done anything in 4 days but to use my last bit of draining energy on getting my love back,only to get coldly stomped on. I havent used the best of words always,but im sure she doesnt either if she were in a desperate love aching situation,she uses more fowl language on her streams,then i used against her. I never judge her for it though,im just saying.
I dont have a life anymore,she was my last bit of hope and sparkling light in a dark tunnel. I love you until i die,MissBanshee__! (Or until my heart and soul doesnt have energy left to scream out for you to come back to me) Why did you become so cold and evil? We could have come out of this argument even stronger. We both are to blame heavily,its just not one side. Why did you stop fighting for me? :(((
Unless you magicly come back,Goodbye my love! :((( #Heartbroken
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The characters we first met ingame as,Johnny and Julie. I dont even have fun playing this game anymore,without her :(( Plz come back to me!?!
PS: Came to my attention that one of her moderators that looked over my unban request,calls me a stalker. Uhm,im technically her boyfriend and i have genuine strong feelings for someone i have gotten to know well for months. BTW,interesting of a moderator to say,knowing that one of the ones she plays with again now reguarly,is the biggest threatening stalker,and hated tcm community member ever,that even the devs has banned once already. That doesnt make much sence to me. And i dont bother her,im begging my "girlfriend" to speak to me,wich would make me relax,maybe get some appetite back (im super dizzy most of the days,im just slowly fading away)
She keeps on hurting me,by not responding and just blocking and banning me all over the place. Im simply just a "boyfriend" that needs to sort out missunderstandings and the argument from my side,so she can feel better too.... Im shocked that im being looked at as a stalker. Would i call her that if i blocked her and she kept trying to get in contact with me? No,because my love for her would want to hear her out,and start over. So now im just gonna wildly assume that she has taken the toxic path? Super unaffected,with a fresh argument she deserved to be "yelled at" for just behind her,but wich i also need to take my guilty parts from.
Are we 12 or are we both adults,how about we solve things in a non immature way???? She has sounded way too unaffected on both her streams,for someone that loved me as much as she claimed she did, I just find it all super immatured,toxic cold and evil. I did 2 mistakes,but its nothing compared to how she mistreated me. If she cant take me letting her know,then she will never learn regarding relationships.
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myheartxmyman · 10 months
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Du warst immer mein Fels in der Brandung, aber als es darauf angekommen ist, wirklich wirklich darauf ankam, da warst du weg. Ich habe mich sehr oft nicht unterstützt, nicht verstanden, nicht mal akzeptiert gefühlt. Statts mich gestützt zu fühlen und mit einem sicheren Gefühl meine Verluste betrauern zu können, statts die Gefühle von Ekel, Scham, Ohnmacht, Wertlosigkeit und den Schmerz des Missbrauchs und der unterlassenen Hilfeleistung in gleich mehreren Praxen und einer Klinik irgendwie zu verkraften und zu verarbeiten, hab ich mich jedes Mal noch zusätzlich wegen "uns" schlecht gefühlt. Viel zu oft war mein Fokus tatsächlich auf uns bzw auf dich gerichtet, was meinem Verarbeitungsprozess nicht zugute gekommen ist. Ich fühl mich dermaßen überfordert mit alldem, es ist zuviel, zu schmerzhaft, zuviel auf einmal. Aber ehrlich gesagt nimmt mich der Tod meines Dads und unsere Beziehung am meisten mit. Ich liebe dich, aber ich hab Angst, dass ich so nicht mehr lange weitermachen kann. Wenn ich dir sage, dass es mir zuviel Stress ist, weißt du nicht wie es in mir aussieht. Es fühlt sich an wie Sterben, kurz vorm Herzinfarkt. Eventuell auch "nur" ne Stille Panikattacke, aber was es auch ist - es ist zuviel. Warum kannst du nicht akzeptieren, dass ich viel zu verarbeiten habe? Wieso lassen wir es immer wieder zu noch mehr Schmerz, Stress und Problemen kommen? Wieso versuchst du nicht ansatzweise mich zu verstehen, aber möchtest gleichzeitig, dass ich mit dir rede? Zur Zeit kann ich dir gefühlt meistens absolut nichts Recht machen, bin nicht gut genug, zu anstrengend, zu emotional, zu laut. Vielleicht bin ich einfach nicht das was du möchtest? Ich fühle mich sooft kritisiert, teilweise auch runter gemacht. Ich möchte das so nicht, ich dachte wir wären dermaßen kompatibel, mit dir hat sich einfach alles so richtig angefühlt. Alles hat gepasst. Es war alles so leicht, so harmonisch, liebevoll, respektvoll. Füreinander, miteinander, wir Beide. Ich hab mich in den er Gegenwart immer so sicher, wohl und geborgen gefühlt. Mittlerweile fühle ich mich meistens alleine, oftmals auch wenn du da bist, denn emotional bist du schon lange Zeit gegangen. Wie wir jetzt sind hat nicht mehr viel mit dem was wir waren zu tun, und wenn wir es nicht schaffen das Ruder rumzureißen und gemeinsam an einer wesentlichen Verbesserung zu arbeiten, dann sollten wir aufhören uns zu verletzen. Denn trotz allem, liebe ich dich und möchte dir nicht weh tun.
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lazylittledragon · 2 months
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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boygirlctommy · 6 months
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out of all of the (many, many, many) miscommunications on dsmp, this one still makes me lose it the most. these two were never on the same page even once and this was the culmination of all of it. 2 entirely different conversations going on
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beatcroc · 1 year
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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arthursfuckinghat · 6 months
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
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"It ain't that complicated!"
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How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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fumifooms · 5 months
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Canines
The hand that feeds
Mickbell Tomas & Kuro Dungeon Meshi
^ 1: Ink-the-artist, I will remove my teeth / 2: Margaret Atwood / 3: C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / 4: Mitski, I’m your man / 5: Ojibwa, I love you like a rotten dog / 6: KotOR II / 7: Stardrop, Everything that’s ever been mine is covered in teeth marks / 8: Sodikken, People Eater / 9: Mitski, I’m your man / 10: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 11: Mitski, I bet on losing dogs / 12: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 13: hun, I did not bite with Malice / 14: C. Michael Davis, Don't Pet the Dragon / 15: Mitski, I’m your man
v 1: Early versions of the myth as in aeschylus orestes / 2: Ink-the-artist, I will not remove my teeth
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#Yeahh i’m workng on a mickbell & kabru party analysis oops#I’d bleed for anything if it held me the right way. Even teeth#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Mickbell tomas#kuro#mickuro#mickrin#It’s on topic in my heart#The red means I love you…#The duality between the care & devotion and the hurt & isolation is really what gets to me#Traumabonded kittens highkey#Tw#cw#cw abuse#tw abuse#Web weaving#web weave#webweaving#I hit 30 pics :( would have added more if i could#Idk even anymore… Pls tell me you see the vision#Mick obvi loves Kuro a lot but this was meant to focus on the unhealthy side if that wasn’t obvious. Abuse tactic of isolation etc etc#People always leave. doesn’t matter how or why but his parents his sister everyone he’s never enough to stay#and that’s why he thinks he has to trick Kuro into thinking Mickbell’s the whole world or he’ll discover that there’s more out there.#Stuff that’s worth leaving him for. He has to make the world scary and unknown and not pay him and not let him have connections#That’s why he doesn’t want people to have a choice!! Either Mickbell doesn’t care about you or he’ll make sure you can never be without him#and there being a third option/outcome in this freaks him out!!!#Some of these should be called ‘No Title’ instead but I have bad academic crediting etiquette this looks cooler sorry#He’s scared of course he bites. There’s only throwing bones when feeding a stray. So bare your teeth and chew me up
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felsicveins · 6 months
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Prequel to this
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s0fter-sin · 5 months
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vampire bats share mouthfuls of blood to other bats they’re close to if they weren’t able to feed and now i need old vampire!ghost sharing a bloody kiss with fledgling!soap, giving him mouthfuls of blood bc his fresh fangs are too sensitive to bite with
it’s been so long since he was turned that ghost’s forgotten the deep ache that comes with growing fangs and he almost worries when johnny goes to bite into the meal he’s brought him only to whimper and pull back; only the slightest pinpricks of a bite left in the man’s neck, barely enough to bring blood to the surface
it’s only when johnny whines and massages at his gums that ghost realises his oversight; crooning at his sweet mate in reassurance. he’s not upset that he couldn’t feed, at the unintentional rejection of his offering. he’ll make the pain stop
ghost pulls the man to his mouth and sinks in his fangs, sucking in a heavy mouthful and drops the now paralysed prey back to his feet; his throat steadily gushing with blood and spilling over his body
he cups johnny’s face, looking into his eyes, teary with pain and hunger, and purses his lips to carefully drip the blood into his mouth. the pain immediately vanishes from his eyes, replaced with pure bliss as he opens his mouth wide; curling his tongue to catch every drop. ghost presses his mouth to his in a hungry, blood-filled kiss; tongues twining together as they share the taste
johnny sucks the last of it from his lips and ghost guides him down to lap at the prey’s neck; licking up the blood he was too weak to draw himself. he’s ravenous with it, his whole face covered in red as he licks up the spill and suckles at ghost’s bite
ghost’s filled with an overwhelming pride at having provided for his mate in an even deeper way than just hunting for him. he spilled the blood johnny’s drinking; fed him in the most intimate way their kind knows and he’ll do it a hundred times over for his love
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dollypopup · 4 months
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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
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ruporas · 7 months
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imagine if your plant au ww grew and mutated like the plants in trimax. cuz it's not often, but sometimes they almost seem to Melt. limbs fusing, growing tendrils, extra joints, all the fucked up shit.
vash did it once or twice i think, but as a plant himself didnt seem that bothered to me. but as a human mentally, i feel like wolfwood would Panic to destabilize like that. anyone would, i think. its kinda playing on an innate fear in humanity
(pretty sure this was supposed to be a domestic comfort au but i couldnt help thinking about this haha whoops sorry)
YEAHHH yeah Yeah………. Fantastic tasty concept… i’ve considered that before but never poked at it too deeply because he doesn’t have a lot of power and if he uses all of it to result in a destabilized form, he’d die. from what i’m assuming out of the scenes i remember, the destabilization tends to happen after a great burst of power so…
tw body horror, blood
but let’s say his body Is able to keep up with it and he does accidentally start to destabilize. my first thought was that he wouldn’t be cognitive when it happens and if he was, yeah i think he’d freak out 😭 he already has a disconnect with his own body in more ways than one so seeing these feathers engulf him and his body shifting in ways it never had would scare him. i also think he’d benefit from his history with vash though and having bore witness of the “monstrous” ability time and time again, he wouldn’t be as petrified by it
along with the fact his body had been fucked up by serums and the EoM experiments, after he has a moment of calm to himself, he’d think of it as no different. it’s just now more obviously visible to people other than himself. i think the main thing that would scare him is the losing control part because he’s Also witnessed what that was like for vash 😔 like said, his body is wholly unfamiliar territory for him and since it’s New for humanity too, no one has any solutions, even vash. every new found thing is played by ear and both vash and wolfwood are hopeful that whatever vash knows will apply the same for wolfwood.
it’s a fair assumption considering what wolfwood inherited is a bit of vash’s energy; what’s given to keep him alive was vash’s originally. i have thoughts about that but none i can verbalize properly,. but have some more sketches and thanks for sending this in for the brainworms
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unforth · 9 months
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Ngl as a small business owner who puts out something extremely pirate-able and who has never earned enough to make a pay check, this...
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...is extremely upsetting.
Do y'all realize that most small business are maybe a handful of people? Do y'all realize that company's like LLCs exist to protect owners from legal and financial repercussions if the company falls apart? I'm not a company because I have stockholders, I'm a company so that if the business goes bankrupt the banks can't seize my fucking house. It's not evil to use existing legal structures to protect my family's assets. It's not unreasonable to ask people not to steal from businesses like mine.
It's like on Tumblr when it's One Artist or One Author Doing The Thing Themself you guys are all about it but the minute anyone tries to collectivize to do better we go from One Person Against The World to The Embodiment of Capitistic Evil with no in between, which is especially insane coming from the website that claims to think individualism has turned toxic and we should do more with community organization. The minute lots of people are involved in a business, there HAS to be legal structures like contracts and shit to protect the people involved. The Lone Creator Forging a Path is great for that one person. What about everyone else?
And so... some of us try to make a company to lift up a group.
And then I see shit takes like this.
Maybe. Maybe DONT fucking pirate from literally anyone just cause they've got the word "company" I'm the name?
Maybe remember that for small businesses, yes even when they're a company, there's a single person, or a family, or a group of friends, who are working their asses off to build something, and actually? Stealing from them makes you a FUCKING DICK.
Like. You realize we're just people right? Other regular people trying to survive the dystopian hellscape that is the now?
Maybe stop acting like you're automatically entitled to the labor and creations of others solely because you've decided that there is an entire huge category of people it's okay to steal from.
Like honestly. What the fuck.
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months
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the parallels between morrigan and the mage warden (especially one who snitched on jowan and so isn't automatically doomed if they stay in the circle) both being unceremoniously kicked out by their parental figures from the isolated nests they've been cooped up in all their lives and sent flailing out into the real world to test their wings. the love that you can read in between the lines there from irving, and even flemeth -- in both cases this is a cause of action taken partly to save their children (from the circle, from the blight, from the isolation and constriction they would be doomed to otherwise), and in both cases it also opens them up to a world of new dangers. (I wonder if irving knows how many grey warden recruits die right off the bat. from his general character I think he might take that chance even if he knew because otherwise the circle is all but inescapable, but from what he says to amell/surana at the time and how set duncan is to keep that particular detail on the down low I feel more on the side of him not being aware.)
irving at least is encouraging and explains the outlines of what he's thinking even in his hurry to get you out the door, flemeth takes the opportunity to get in a few more stabs of emotional abuse haha. but I think my amell looks at morrigan's shock and partial dismay to be sent away with them so abruptly (and despite everything, the sting of it being so easy to do on her mother's part, emotionally) and feels a sympathetic sinking in her stomach. because yeah she knows that feeling too
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crimeronan · 1 month
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Luz borrowing Hunter's scroll to call Amity after she sleep spells him because even though Hunter's breathing and she can feel him breathing, "Sleep followed by petrification" was Belos' "Humane" way of putting down Hunter and she's A Little Bit Crazy and Traumatized so she's like "I need someone here who can Fight Me to the death if it seems like I'm going snap and try to petrify him. Amity can you come to my room and spend the night please I need you to protect Hunter from me :(((("
i've had a couple friends with OCD talk about how strongly they see themselves in AU luz & nowhere has the evidence Ever been stronger than in this ask.
luz. baby.
you have OCD.
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wiihtigo · 2 months
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these frauds
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