#I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM I'VE BEEN LOOPING THAT PART OF THE THEME FOR HOURS

[fly-sky-high-arts]

COLGERA

[comicaurora]

I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.

When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.

So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.

The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.

This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.

The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:

Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.

And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?

Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?

[nana-luvy]

. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤

warnings: fem!reader, no established relationship, suggestive content (may i say, heavy makeout), a little foul language

In which he never wants to get used to it.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

You know this feeling ? The feeling you get sometimes, the feeling that you never want the current moment to end ? Like you’d just want it replayed, over and over, nobody interrupting, nothing breaking the atmosphere, just a loop of this moment you crave to feel forever on end.

This was the moment.

“Hey, where are we going exactly ?”

His voice alone was warming your chest, the little laugh accompanying it making your heart leap in your body. Or maybe it was the alcohol in your system ? You knew it wasn’t your best idea, but you also knew you were still more conscious than not, and it was probably the only time you’d ever feel brave enough to do it.

“Don’t worry, it’s not too far away ~”

You two were almost running, you ahead as you lead him somewhere away from the campfire. The older campers had gathered on the beach for a late hangout, bonfire lighting up the dark night as everyone chatted away, passing bottles around for everyone to enjoy. And enjoying them you did. But it was the liquid courage you needed when Luke had been there all night, sitting next to you, talking to you, eyes looking straight into yours as his voice was all you could hear. Few innocent touches of your fingers over the warm sand in the warm summer night, digits brushing a strand of hair out of your face, having to mentally prevent yourself from leaning into his hand. But this look he gave you… it made something snap in place, and you asked him to follow you, and he wouldn’t have said ‘no’ in a million universes, taking the hand you were offering.

After just a couple minutes, you finally reached a small cabin, not too far into the woods.

“What’s this place ? I’ve never seen it before.” Luke asked, looking around and realizing he had already been on this part of the forest but had never seen the little hut.

“Well, I just like keeping this place to myself so I just… make sure nobody can see it if I'm not around ~” you simply answered, rubbing the fingers on your free hand and creating a small spark of magic, before sending a wink his way. “But I wanted to show it to you, I'm quite proud of my decorating.”

Luke couldn’t resist the smile on your lips, practically melting as you cupped his hand with both of yours now, pulling him inside and he opposed no resistance.

On the other side of the door were wooden walls and a wooden flooring, fluffy white carpets covering it, and fairy lights suspended across the ceiling to give that eerie atmosphere. There was a long, beige loveseat in a corner of the single room, inviting and cosy, a bigger couch of a more pink tone on the side, and the walls were stripped of any decoration other than a couple windows. It was just so…

“So cozy…”

“Well, I'm glad you like it, I've barely shown this place to anyone, I mostly use it for alone time… but it’s pretty cool, yeah..”

Still holding Luke’s hand, you tripped over your own feet, still feeling your head buzzing from the alcohol, landing on the nearby loveseat. Trying to compose yourself back while the boy in front of you stifled a small laugh, you patted the empty seat next to you, and he immediately took it, your hands untangling as you both longed for that feeling back.

“So… you brought me here to… show me how you decorated ?” He inquired, slightly cocking an eyebrow questioningly as he got more comfortable on the soft furniture, bending one leg to rest it closer to him on the beige fabric.

“Can I kiss you, Luke ?” He didn’t expect the bluntness, taken aback for a second, and the confusion in his eyes immediately made your tipsy self only want to talk and talk to fill the awkward silence. You stood up, trying to escape the weird tension between you two. “I mean, it’s probably because I'm drunk- I'm conscious of what I say, don't worry, it’s not like an assault or anyth- oh gods what am I even saying…? I just wanted to say, you don’t have to feel obl-”

Luke stood up right in front of you while you spoke, planting his two hands on the sides of your face gently before pulling his own head down towards yours, his lips melting over your own instantly like it was made to fit like two puzzle pieces.

You relaxed immediately, the hands that were previously flying in all direction as you poorly tried to explain yourself falling at your sides before they crawled upwards, hovering over his toned arms and crossing behind his neck for leverage, pulling him lower. In response, Luke’s fingers came to tickle the sliver of skin exposed by your short top, on your lower back, clasping your waist to keep you from falling as he bent over you and forced your backwards arch. It didn’t feel animalistic, even through the clash of teeth and the spit smudged over your lips in just a few instants together only, but instead full of this ungovernable need you both felt, wanting the other closer, deeper.

You both refused to pull away, heavy breaths hitting the other’s cheek with every exhale, your eyes closed shut tightly as you tried to take in everything you two could feel in the moment, inking it in your memory. Your hands went up the boy’s curls, fingers threading in his darks locks, nails scratching his scalp as you pulled him even tighter in your embrace when his own hands ventured around your body, digits pressing against any displayed skin, roaming your arms and barely waiting for any kind of permission —found in a low moan— before dipping under your top to feel the smooth skin of your back, tracing a gentle path up your spine. This simple sensation was soft and delicious, your head dipping back and your mouth falling agape from the feather-light touch that trailed fire along your skin, and Luke took the opportunity to leave your lips and drag his lower, following the line of your jaw, tracing a path down your neck and coming back up to leave a lingering kiss right below your ear. Your fingers ran through his hair mindlessly, or from his view maddeningly, ruining the defined pattern to leave a mess of disheveled curls that just made him look that much hotter in the end. As his lips attached themselves behind your ear in a wet kiss that echoed through your mind, you tugged lightly in an attempt to keep yourself grounded, making him groan against your skin, a sound that sent your head spiraling down a never-ending slope of lust.

Standing a little straighter, you backed him up into the nearest wall, avoiding any piece of furniture in the way before resting one hand on his chest, feeling the taught muscles under your palm, as the other grabbed his chin to make him look down at you.

“Are you usually this bold?” Luke asked, panting as he tried to even his breathing when you finally took a short break, his chest heaving with each breath.

You shook your head, looking up at him with a little smirk dancing on your face. “I wish I was always like this, I would’ve kissed you way earlier. Why, y’like it ?”

“Damnit,” he groaned, swiping his hand over his face, “you’re so fucking hot.” He dipped his head to join your lips again, but you quickly pushed him back against the wall with your hand on his chin after barely a peck. Your smile broadened before you went on your tip-toes, leaving a kiss right at the corner of his lips, trailing along his cheekbone and letting your tongue wander the length of his scar while he exhaled heavily, eyes closed shut as he became almost putty at the surface of your touch. He could barely think past the sensation of your lips, his mind spinning, body practically arching into your touch.

“You’re not fair…”

“Then learn to enjoy the chase, because I don’t wanna play fair, right now,” you replied softly, eyes looking up at his pained expression with a smile in your gaze. “Can I?”

As the whisper reached his ears, Luke felt dainty finger playing with the first button of his short-sleeved shirt, twisting it around in anticipation, and his face got impossibly more flushed. “Whatever you want-” he replied with a heavy sigh, all possible tension in his body relaxing as he felt your lips pressing against the thin skin of his neck. He laid back on the wall completely, trapped within your grasp as your lips latched onto the skin of his torso, tracing the path right in the middle as you tugged off one by one each button of his shirt. “Shit… You're gonna make me loose it…”

“Good,” was all you murmured before letting your fingers nimbly undo the last few buttons, nose nudging his face so he’d face back down and kiss you. His lips were like honey and you were a bear, hungrily taking them in, tugging them between your teeth gently, wanting selfishly to keep them to yourself forever, and Luke was only mirroring your energy. His hands had found purchase at the nape of your neck, playing with stray hair and keeping your head angled without putting too much tension in your neck, giving him the perfect way down to match your hunger, eating at your lips like a starved man. Teeth were still clashing, tongues sweeping past lips to explore mouths and bringing the other in a maddening dance for the lead, while words consisted more in low whines and groaned moans than actual intelligible thoughts.

“How come- mmph- we never did this?”

The air was electric around the both of you, bolts of energy shooting in your body each time his fingers tugged your head a little further back, urging you for more. “I don’t know..” you sighed against Luke's lips, refusing to pull away, and he was the first to do as his lips reattached to your skin, grazing over your jaw in the most teasing tickle. “I didn’t think it’d ever work ou- oh dear gods, never stop that…”

Through the moan that left your lips as Luke finally —after minutes of holding himself back— suckled a purple bruise right under your jaw, the boy could only feel the surprise from your words and the flush adorning his face from the praise, feeling his body heating up. “Why would you of all people think that ?” he whispered against your skin, the vibration deliciously ringing up to your ears.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, your fingers finally leaving his clothed sides to run slowly down his heated skin, the feeling almost emboldening as your head filled with all the possibilities. “You’re just you, and I can’t talk to you unless I’m… well, like this-”

“Like this ?” he asked, a little quip accompanied by a smile you could feel tugging at his lips against your collarbone.

“Tipsy, Luke, I can’t fucking talk to you without this cheap ass vodka in my system, of course it didn’t happen earlier…” you sighed, pleased hums tumbling past your lips with each wet kiss he placed along your neck. Still, your hands didn’t shy away, tracing the outline of every muscle adorning his front, his chiseled chest, the dips and ridges of his abdomen, the low-waist of his cargo pants allowing you to gently trace the v-line adorning his hips, nails scratching against the skin until reaching the hem of his bottoms.

“Wow wow wait- slow down, pretty…” he immediately reacted, voice vibrating against your skin as he didn’t remove his face from the crook of your neck. His hands left your hips to entangle his fingers with yours, bringing them away from him and rather leaving them around his neck, arms resting loosely on his shoulders while he held your hands behind his head. “Let’s not-” he stopped for a second, gulping down hard, and you could feel his panting breath on your skin. “Let’s not… go there, yeah ?”

Whatever confusion might’ve been written on your face, it was quickly wiped right off as he tugged you closer by the arms, hands still in his, his face going back up to yours and crashing your mouths together. He didn’t let you go, didn’t let you move away, instead trying to get every parcel of your skin stuck to his: his hands left yours to fall around his neck, only to circle your waist back in a split second; his head was dipping to make you arch back in his touch, making sure his front was pressed against yours and his hands held you back; his tongue was persistent, pushing past your lips and tangling with yours any chance he got, letting you drink in low moans whenever your hands tugged at his curls while he walked you backwards.

It wasn’t long before he turned you both around, his hands on your waist and behind you thigh you tug you back on him as his knees hit a couch and he sat back on it. “You know, I could get used to this,” he murmured on your lips, refusing to pull away too far, and a shiver ran up your back while his hands idly traced meaningless patterns on your exposed skin.

“Don't, I wanna feel that feeling of new everytime.”

First request aaaaaaaah (im actually tweaking, anon i love you.)

I'm not really used to writing this kind of fic, i'm more into writing fluffy fluff, i guess, so i hope it's good <3

Tell me yourthoughts if you got any, recommendations and critics greatly appreciated ~

Love, Nana ♡

[lilbardrhi]

"Broken", Not Stupid - 12: A Lot Like You

Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unusual omega!OC (13)

CW: Omegaverse; cult-like situation; dehumanization; selling children to a cult

Author's Note: @jeanzoriley-cod ready? owo <3

"Think maybe we should see about introducing her to Jeanz?"

13 is bolting from clothing rack to clothing rack in the next shop, gathering things to try on. Meanwhile, Simon and Johnny are keeping a close and protective eye while giving her space to do her shopping.

Simon's question, however, pulls Johnny's attention from 13.

"I think it'd be good for her to have other, female friends," Johnny nods, but the look in his eye says he's far more excited about the idea than he's letting on.

"You also just want to see Jeanz again," Simon teases him.

"Who's Jeanz?" 13 asks, having popped up between the two alphas with her arms full of clothing options. "Can you help me get these to the fitting rooms? I haven't gotten new clothes in a while so I wanna try things on before I decide on them."

Simon and Johnny each take an arm-full of the clothes 13 is carrying and follow her to the fitting rooms.

"Jeanz is a co-worker-"

"And friend," Johnny adds. "She helps out our team once in a while."

"And Johnny's sweet on her," Simon chuckles. "She's an omega, though, and I figured you may need friends. Espeically friends that aren't just alphas."

"I am not!" Johnny denies Simon's claim imeediately, his accent getting thicker in his denial.

13 stops outside a fitting room and looks up at Johnny.

"You're blushing," she points out, making the redness in Johnny's cheeks darken.

The Scotsman chooses not to respond this time, instead he gives the clothes back to 13. She grins as she accepts the clothes then disappears into the fitting room with the first load of clothing. By time she's finished trying on all of the clothes she picked out, she's managed to wittle the piles down to enough outfits for a full week that can be mixed and matched as needed.

"So Jeanz?" 13 prods Simon as Johnny leads them to the next shop.

"She's... a lot like you, actually. Even as an omega, she doesn't bend easily. You give her hell, she'll give it back easily. I think you two would get along great, based on what I know of you both. There's a lot of male alphas in my circle and, since you're going to be around, I'll need to expand that circle a bit."

13 scowls a bit but it's quickly replaced with a smile.

"I appreciate it. I haven't had... long term friendships in a while so it'll be nice to try to make those connections again."

"I also need to talk to you about," Simon takes a deep breath, "therpay. Your views on it and so on. I think going would benefit you greatly, but I won't force you into it."

"I've honeslty never been," 13 shrugs. "It... scares be a bit, the idea of going, but I'm willing to try. Seems I'll have a decent support system, though."

The way she looks up at Simon this time nearly makes him come to a full stop. His heart might have done so, though. A warm feeling fills Simon's chest, almost making it ache, but he brushes off the feeling and continues following Johnny with 13.

Simon glances down to 13's feet. She's wearing the slippers from Salvation still.

The woman needs shoes. She needs them badly.

"Johnny," Simon calls to him, "this one next," he announces as he nods towards the shoe store across the street. Then he looks down to 13, offering her an arm. "Stay cloe, yeah? Don't need you getting hit trying to cross the street."

13 shifts what few shopping bags the guys allowed her to carry to one arm and loops her now-free arm through Simon's.

"I'd prefer life, yeah," she chuckles.

Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | Part One

Tag List: @lucienofthelakes @lostintransist @demothers-empty-blog @scaredyspooks @tessakate @one-really-annoying-tree-rat @nerdyphantomtheorist @gazsluckyhat @peanutismynickname @jeanzoriley-cod

[waitmyturtles]

I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)

HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)

PROS

CONS

1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.

I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.

Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.

The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.

2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.

(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)

I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.

3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.

[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]

TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.

ANY FUCKING WAY.

PROS

1)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.

And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!

2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.

The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.

Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.

[cochineal-leviat]

Sweet Dreams, Stardust

Okay, so I have a lot of feelings about In Stars and Time. But let me say first, wow, this game irreversibly changed my brain network. For anyone who is considering buying this game, please do. I don't think I've had a story touch my heart and mind like this for a long time. And that goes without mentioning the stunning visuals and entertaining battle system. (Be careful, though, because this game handles heavy topics regarding mental health)

If you're still hung up on buying it but are curious, there is a free demo on Steam if you like to try.

Thank you, @insertdisc5, for this gem of a game. I will be turning it around in my head like a microwaveable gourmet meal for months to come.

Technically the illustration has no spoilers (unless you count Siffrin having a good nap as a spoiler). But I will be going into heavy spoiler territory under the keep reading since I need to get my thoughts on this game off my chest.

And a monochrome version because you know me, I can't help myself. Even in black and white art pieces, I will put in some colour.

And a very tiny Loop

Initially, I was going to do a piece with a theatre stage and the cast (Siffrin, Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Bonnie and the head house maiden) taking a bow and finally leaving the spectacle to a life not controlled by a script and Wish Craft. But it was more fitting to put my feelings into creating a peaceful scene. Like, oof, I needed this very badly. I used sepia to make the painting warmer and added some more details like headcanons. The stars/colours might be remnants of Siffrin's transformation. Or maybe they were always there, but he never paid attention to it. Who knows.

I'm going to keep this brief. Otherwise, this post will take way too long.

I adore Siff's character. It's perfect for a game and narrative such as this. I saw a post not long ago on Tumblr going into depth about how their role as the rogue and not the hero works so well, so I won't linger on it for long. But how they would rather listen and fade into the background perfectly aligns with the player's experience of being the silent observer. (And the nodding off that changes into zoning out. It took me way too long to realise that small but essential narrative change) Oh, and the portrait change! It flew over my head until I was staring at the game menu. I was so confident Siffrin had a mischievous grin and not a frown. I always feel slightly surprised when the party asks for Siff's opinion or mentions that they have been too quiet. I felt Siffrin's excitement like my own when he got excited at finding clues to end the nightmare they were in. So I knew it would end up falling on their face because they were too excited. I just had this bad gut feeling the whole time during Act 4.

And oh boy, speaking off acts. I thought it would have been the standard 3. Boy, I was wrong. Whenever I felt I was nearing the end, I was thrown back at the start with more mysteries than answers. It made exploring the game intriguing since there is almost no information about it online (at the time of writing this post). There is the Discord, but I didn't know about it until I finished it.

This game has a lot of secrets, and I had a lot of fun uncovering them. The looping mechanic works so well in discovering little details and further leads. (even though my stubborn arse kept trying to do everything in the least amount of loops as possible. I thought the ending would be different if I exceeded a 100. My final number is 59. I am still not sure if I should be mad about it not being a rounded number like 60 or that I went over the 50 threshold)

However, it is a good thing that only some mysteries were solved. Like, what's up with colours in this world? Everyone sees in black and white, and the idea of shades and colours is only spoken of in scientific studies. They do exist and are not a part of the disaster that happened to Siffrin and their land. But there is definitely something mysterious about it. I adore how the dialogue reflects this, as the characters do not speak of shades or colours. Isabeau expresses surprise to see a streak of red colouring the sky in Act 6. It makes you think about how colour is perceived and how you describe it. (The lore inside this game is immaculate. I eat this shit up)

We never find out the name of the country north of Vanguard or what it was like. We can only infer that the beaches had black sand, with shells that shine like stars, high-reaching mountains, forests and plains. Which is vague and yet intriguing enough to make you wonder. It connected me to Siff and King because I also wanted to know. I was desperate to know. I needed to know. But in the end, we never will know because that is not the story's point. Siffrin even says in the game, that King should let go because he is hurting everyone and everything, including himself, in his desperation to preserve Vanguard. This is all the more ironic when Siff accidentally does the same with his family and the loops. I might gush more about what the country might be like and their technology in another post. This game makes me want to theorise. This is the first time I've wanted to write and post theories. ISAT fucked me up good.

Which, by the way, was genius. Siffrin and King are mirrors of each other. Siff does not have King's disastrous ambition, but their love/obsession will be the downfall of both of them. They have more than being each other's countrymen in common, and I imagine Siff despises that.

I love the fact King's question to Siffrin before the showdown was/could never be answered. Usually, in a game such as this, you must figure out how to solve everything, especially for the big bad. But that was never the goal. King is a delusional monster who will not stop before achieving his dream. He will raze everything to the ground and hurt many people because he must succeed. It is what he desires. Nay, the universe wills it. What a witless excuse that can easily be made into someone's truth. Especially to somebody who is driven mad with grief.

How King's character's done is so excellent. Because, at first, I wasn't scared of him at all. He was just the big bad, and I felt nothing much but the glory of victory when Siffrin outsmarted him by looping and making sure Mirabelle learned the shield spell that would protect the party from freezing in time. But each time you fight him, you get more frustrated until Siff figures that talking to him might be fruitful. It does, but unfortunately, you and Siffrin leave yourself emotionally and mentally vulnerable. King stops being a one-dimensional villain and changes into an actual person. Someone you can sympathise with and possibly mend peace with without fighting. You and Siffrin opened his heart for a kindred spirit and got hurt.

King stopped being a monster and became human. And while monsters are wretched, humans have intent behind their cruelty. I felt so betrayed, so angry, but most of all - terrified. I felt it when Siffrin spiralled when fighting King again after their actions caused such a catastrophic turn of events for Bonnie. Every time after that, the fight with King felt tense and nerve-wracking in a dreadful way. Because even victory could not soothe the dread I felt. (The track 'It's finally over" will forever haunt me. I already feel anxious whenever it cycles to that when I listen to the playlist)

He was not, however, the final villain, even though everything that happened was King's fault. You were always your greatest enemy (or Siffrin in this case, since you are supposed to be Siffrin). I never could have guessed that the whole reason why Siffrin could not escape the loops was because Siff accidentally wished to never let go of their friends. This reminds me of Modaka Magica, where (spoilers for the OG anime) Homura goes back in time so much that the universe ties itself around Modoka, making her a waiting egg whose wish and magic will be massive when she becomes a magical girl. The one thing Homura was trying to prevent.

(Siffrin and Homura are identical in that sense. Shy characters who are loyal to a fault but are rendered into something cold, bitter and cutting by their traumatic experiences. Only Siff has people who care about them and would do anything to save him, too, whereas Homura never lets go, making the world a worse place to live in. Yes, I did go into doomed Yuri. That anime lived in my mind rent-free in my mind for years)

The Head House-maiden not being the villain was also a great touch. I am used to the apparent antagonist turning out not to be the big bad and the trusted, friendly character ending up being the evil one. Twist villains no longer work when everyone expects them to be villains.

That was my biggest theory as I played. The second biggest being that Loop is someone who enjoys Siffrin's suffering. I am so glad that was also not the case. They are apathetic but not cruel. Never intentionally, anyway. They were like the player, urging Siffrin to go deeper into the mystery to solve it. Ultimately, I chose and made cold and cruel decisions simply because I wanted to see what would happen. So yeah, I warmed up to this cosmic star thing as the game went on and even started trusting them. Act 5 really is a punch in the gut. I am so sorry, Loop. Thank you for coming through in the end.

Oh man, this is so long, and I haven't even gone into the main cast. I will leave that for another post. They are such great characters, as are the people of Dormant and the House. (Don't think I don't see the wordplay in this game. Very clever)

Going into this game completely blind was the best experience I could have had. I felt anxious, happy and scared so severely that my neurons were rearranged. I don't know if there are more endings (aside from the obvious action of attacking Odile in the True(?) ending of the game), but I am taking a break from it to make art and write for this game before I dive back into despair-o-land.

Anywho, thank you for coming this far and reading my ramblings. Have a fantastic day or evening further! o(*'▽`*)ブ

[ninaswritingstuff]

One reason I haven't updated shifting priorities in well over a year is that I've been fixated on an AU of my AU in which Bernard is thrown into the mix.

Like, Tim has been so fixated on trying to clone Kon that he has pretty much completely ignored his body. That cloning tube and Kon's DNA are pretty much the only things he cares about. And he's tried and failed 99 times. He's running out of Kon's DNA, nothing has worked, so he gets an extra boost of desperation.

He uses his own DNA as a stabilizing agent.

So, fun thing about cloning is that it requires a donor egg. The genetic material of the egg itself is removed and replaced with the complete DNA of whatever you're trying to clone (don't quote me on this, this is my recollection/understanding of how they made Dolly).

Tim, who in this AU has the parts that would produce a human egg (trans!Tim or AOB, dealer's choice for the purposes of this run-down), decides he's going to cut out the middle man and use his own.

Only to find out that he's pregnant. It doesn't really click in his head until he's gotten his egg and already started the 100th attempt (forgetting to remove his DNA from the egg before adding in Kon's), so when it finally hits him, he's staring at a cloning tube with a (finally) viable embryo.

So he goes out and gets himself a pregnancy test, and this is where he crosses paths with Bernard. Bernard just kind of stumbles across him in the local CVS, and at first thinks he could try to reconnect and made shoot his shot, only to realize exactly where he's found Tim.

And never let it be said that Bernard Dowd is a coward.

So he squares up and heads over, and ends up basically being Tim's moral support for the remainder of the pregnancy. He had even planned to be in the delivery room with Tim when the baby was born (which didn't happen because the baby decided to arrive a month early and in the most traumatic way possible).

He's not actually expecting anything from Tim. Clearly, Tim's got enough on his plate, and he's clearly still not over whoever it was who got him knocked up. So Bernard's mostly just trying to be a good friend. And if something eventually develops, well. Bernard certainly won't complain.

Bernard was thrown for kind of a loop when Danny came along, but delayed twins are a thing, so...he just kind of rolls with it. It's Gotham. Weirder things have happened.

He puts a lot of time into helping Tim out with the not-twins, and maybe kind of starts to think of the kids as maybe sort of his. In, like, a dad-that-stepped-up kind of way. Bernard is honestly surprised by how down he's turned out to be for basically co-parenting with Tim.

They end up building up a working system over the next few months, with Bernard coming over after school to mind the kids so Tim could get so rest in. By the time the not-twins are a month old, Bernard's kind of...moved into Wayne Manor. In an unofficial capacity.

And just when things seem to have reached a sort of equilibrium, Bruce dies. Or, well, it seems pretty overt that he's dead. Bernard's been in the know (to an extent) since Tim brought Danny home, so when Tim tells him his theory about the portrait of Mordecai Wayne, Bernard (funky little conspiracy theorist that he is) believes him.

Tim ends up leaving Danny and Ellie in Bernard's care so he can go and hunt down enough proof to bring Bruce home, with encouragement from Bernard (and the condition that Tim maintains regular contact while gone). It's not easy, being a single parent to twins is even less easy, but Bernard fully believes that this is something Tim needs to do, and he was already pretty much done with school, so he doesn't have to worry about college until the fall.

BruceQuest occurs largely unchanged from canon, save for the fact that Tim is less passively suicidal throughout. And when Kon finds him in that sewer...well, Tim's half-convinced he's talking to a hallucination, so he mentions the not-twins.

After that encounter, Kon makes a bee-line for Gotham, and gets to meet the babies. One thing leads to another, and Kon and Bernard end up co-parenting while Tim's off saving Bruce's bacon.

When everything is handled and Tim's back home with Bruce not too far behind, the three of them end up having to have a discussion about what they're gonna do moving forward.

Endgame TimBerKon.

[drdemonprince]

Hi I keep thinking back to your book unmasking autism, I recently was diagnosed with level 1 by my new psychiatrist but with losing my healthcare I feel lost on how to function without medical assistance. I typically mask and been learning how not to, but it always feel at the opportunity cost of more money, overly explaining to family or grief. I’ve been in a loop of feeling I shouldn’t exist due to my disability and it a sad feeling.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I'm certain you already know this, but it's not the case that you shouldn't exist because you are disabled. The vast majority of people on this planet find it absolutely soul-sucking and exhausting to present as what gets called "neurotypical" at work. It's too many hours of pretending to be someone you are not, with no space allotted for your full humanity, with not enough energy or hours left behind to look after oneself, have nourishing authentic relationships, and ample space to recover, be playful and joyful, and dream. Every person requires ample time and space for themselves to recouperate, and to listen to the actual feelings that they have inside, and capitalism instead demands that we suppress all of it, and it can slowly eat away at us and make it difficult to access authentic pleasure or connectedness. For Autistics it's especially pronounced because we are such a bad mismatch with what capitalism demands, and because we need so much energy recovery time, but it's simply the case that you are not broken or defective for failing to fit within such an oppressive system. It is that system that should not exist, and that terrorizes everybody, to varying degrees. I bet if you look at the most "well adjusted" hard working people that you know, you see how their lives have been totally ruined by overworking and killing what's wild and free about themselves, or what used to be those things.

I have spoken to hundreds of Autistic people in the situation you are in at this point, and I have found that for the majority of us, embracing our disability and articulating our needs means that very dramatic changes have to happen in our lives. Some people have to reorient how they interact with their families, establish new boundaries, push to really educate them on neurodivergence, go no contact, or rethink what family means to them altogether. Lots of us leave careers or switch to part-time or remote work, or have to get incredibly creative and resourceful in order to survive in a way that we can stand: going on disability benefits, public assistance, living with friends, pooling resources, going off the grid in some way, finding some side hustle or scam that makes it possible to survive, doing sex work or freelance, taking on childcare or eldercare duties for a friend who is employed, or something of that nature are all options I've seen a lot of unmasking Autistics pursue. None of these options are ideal, and they all come with significant costs and risk factors. But then, so does killing oneself slowly with work.

I have a whole book coming out next year in March about these specific considerations, with lots of tools and decision trees and research and quotes from other Autistics. The book is designed to help Autistics who are in that second stage of their unmasking journey sort out what a life where it is possible to be less masked means for them. Where can they live? Who is gonna support them? What matters to them in their life? How can they reset their relationships in light of their neurodivergence? What does it mean to grow old as a disabled person? These are the kinds of questions the book will hopefully help me explore, and discover the best answers for themselves. Of course, many people would say that their only way out of this is the downfall of capitalism, but I personally am of the mind that we have to make that end happen ourselves by working less hard, consuming less where possible, leaning on other people, providing support to our neighbors, becoming less reliant upon our employers and the government, and building our collective escape from the capitalistic machine. And we can all have some small part in that, even if only for ourselves and those immediately closest to us. That's enough.

I hope that you find a way of life that is sustaining and feels whole and good for you. As neurodivergent people we do things very differently. And that is both the curse and the beauty of us. The prescribed script we've been given for how life is supposed to look is never going to work for us. Indeed, it's not working for most anybody else either. There way forward will not be easy, and the lot you've been given to deal with is not fair, but there are also millions of other disabled people just like you who are leaning on one another, slowing down, refusing to play into the existing system's hand as much as is possible for them, and making a new world. And just by pondering the things that you are, you're helping already to make that new world too.

[into-fiction]

I'm interested in the time-traveling au ideas!!!

I've read a lot of Glinda time-travelling aus and they're all starting to blur together at this point lol, but I would still read it if you have something unique and interesting tho!! Like maybe time traveller Glinda still has anxiety and is over-thinking every little changes she makes, or maybe she decides <i>not</i> to befriend Elphaba and try to take down morrible and the wizard all on her own

I've never read a time travel au with both Glinda and Elphaba as time travellers before tho, that could be interesting!!

Maybe it could be them before For Good (song not movie), like maybe around the cat fight or before Fiyero went with Elohaba. Where they haven't seen eachother for years, where Elphaba thinks Glinda actually believes all the propaganda stuff she says in front of the crowds and she feels like she cant trust Glinda with helping her take the Wizard down.

Glinda and Elphaba going back to the quiet nights in the dorm room that were usually the filled with shared secrets, and realize they dont know anything about each other anymore.

They’re strangers with a history.

I saw someone say that in For Good (song), Glinda becomes someone who could have considered going with Elphaba in Defying Gravity while Elphaba becomes someone who would have considered staying.

This is before that, they time travel with a Glinda who still thinks they should work with the system to bring it down from the inside while this is an Elphaba who still thinks they should rebel. And they both disagree with each other because neither of them are seeing results from the other.

And maybe eventually, they'll see that it's necessary to try to take the system down both from the inside and outside, but they need to work together in an organized manner.

ooo i love your brain!

i have yet to read any time travel fics (on my list tho!) so I'm not sure what the overall themes are in this fandom! but i can try and say what I've been thinking so far (no true plot, just thoughts).

for glinda by herself:

i have a fondness for 'elphie trying to figure out glinda' stories and i think post-canon glinda is esp fun to play with. i have a few headcanons i'd want to throw in (that she's terrified of morrible, that she's still traumatized by elphie's death, etc). i think all my glinda's have anxiety so that's kinda a given.

if it were elphie pov, i feel it would be easier to explore the way a post-canon glinda interacts with the world and people around her.

if it were glinda pov, i feel it would be easier to explore time travel lore and themes of loss.

(there's a certain tragedy in just-glinda time travel bc even if there's a happy ending, it's not a happy ending with her elphie. I'm not afraid of a bit of tragedy tho)

for both of them together:

i had a couple people suggest they shouldn't know they both are back at first! which i could see being either a very funny or very angsty. either way, it would definitely add some obstacles.

the nice part about both together is that its the right elphie. and depending on where in the timeline you pluck them from, there's a lot of room to explore the gelphie dynamic both in and post canon.

also i get hooked on ages/timeline shit so the idea of them suddenly being in younger bodies, having the muscle memory & magical control that goes with that, etc is very fun to me.

your idea:

i feel like the concept of it being pre For Good gelphie is honestly really cool! if u don't mind, i actually think it works better as a time loop au over time travel?? in like a 'they both try their way and neither one works and they just keep trying till they realize they have to work together' type way.

but ALSO- a time travel fic where they lowkey kinda hate each other would be super fucking fun to explore.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 13

Happy Wednesday! This arc is over 20k already. How many of you didn't realize that? I've got a longer segment for you this week. There wasn't really a good place to end it and this brings us to the end of the scene. If you like banter, this segment is for you.

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

First, Previous

Word Count: 2.2k

-----

Jeremy couldn’t help but add, “Be sure to mention us to your dad, Timothy. It’s been ages since we’ve last been able to meet at a gala!”

“Yes, sir,” said Tim. Not that he’d be following through. Assholes. Danny pushed him up a wide staircase that framed the entranceway to get to the second floor.

“Exactly like my parents,” he told Sam.

“I swear, if I didn’t have Gradma Ida, I’d go insane. My room’s this way.”

Sam’s room was so large that not only did she have a double bed and vanity, but also a couch and enough cushions that they were all able to spread out comfortably. Tim and Danny took beanbag chairs next to each other. His friends took the couch while Tucker took a space on the floor and promptly pulled out a laptop and two PDAs. Sam settled in a rocking chair.

Tim laid out the goodies they’d gotten from the corner store. “We brought snacks.”

Sam grabbed a bag of chips. “Thanks. So what’s on the agenda for the night?”

Cassie asked, “Is there anything we can do about the ghosts?”

Danny buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know. I can’t get a close enough read on them to see where any are. And there’s so many that even if I knock one out of a human, another would just take it’s place.”

“Any idea what they might be after?” asked Tim. “The ones last night were wearing uniforms like police officers. And we saw the news report from your school earlier. That one looked like a werewolf.”

“He was wearing a collar,” added Bart. “And his outfit also appeared to be a uniform of some sort, though not a police one.”

All of them stared at Bart.

“You don’t think he was there willingly,” said Sam.

Bart shrugged. “Didn’t look that way to me.”

Danny groaned and leaned over until he was resting his head on Tim’s shoulder. “What am I supposed to do with that? What do I do if he’s not here to attack the town?”

Tim wrapped his arm around Danny to hold him steady. “How much sleep were you able to get between last night and now?”

“Unno,” mumbled Danny. “Three, four hours?”

Cassie clicked her tongue at him. “How about you get some rest tonight and we can figure it out tomorrow. We’ll take the night in shifts and if there’s a large-scale attack again, we’ll wake you up.”

Tim sighed. “Much as I hate to admit it, Cassie’s right. You need to sleep.”

Danny snorted into his neck and Tim couldn’t help the way his cheeks heated at the feel of his breath. “Like you’re one to talk.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tim rolled his eyes. “We all know I’m not a good role model. Do as Alfred says, not as I do.”

“Wayne family moto!” Conner teased. Tim gave him the finger.

“Just one thing to do first,” said Bart.

“Yeah,” added Tucker. “I need to fix up Conner’s phone.”

“Two things, then,” amended Bart.

“What’s the other thing?” asked Sam. “I feel like I’m out of the loop.”

Cassie leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. “The Fentons gave us a tour of the lab. We want to arrange a system to get Danny out of Amity if things go bad.”

Tim noted how both Tucker and Sam tensed and exchanged a look. Then Sam nodded. “We’re in. And since you are who you are, which, Danny, we will be talking about how you kept Justice League connections from us later, we’ll trust you to be able to do it.”

“Don’t be mad at him,” protested Tim. “I made him promise to keep my secrets. It wasn’t safe for him to discuss it.”

Tucker waved a hand in the air. “We understand. Doesn’t mean we’re not frustrated with him. Don’t worry about it, though. Your secret’s safe with us.”

Tim bit his lip. “Please. It’s vitally important for my family’s safety that nothing gets out.”

Conner snorted. “Plus Batman would murder you dead if he found out you let anything slip.”

Tim groaned. “Don’t remind me. I’ll have so much paperwork. And would probably be benched for forever.”

Bart laughed and flicked a chip at him. “We’d kidnap you and help you prepare a new hero identity!”

With Danny still leaning on him, Tim couldn’t even catch the projectile and it hit him on the forehead. “I’ll take you up on that if I ever do get benched permanently.”

Sam cleared her throat. “As amusing as this all is, what’s the plan with Danny?”

Danny groaned, but didn’t move. “I don’t need one, guys. It’s not as bad as you think.”

Bart snorted. “Dude, your parents showed us an iron maiden.”

Danny shook his head. “Dad’s the only one who’s been shut up in that. And that was for threatening me and Jazz with it.”

“Um… what?” asked Cassie. “Why does everything you say make me feel more concerned?”

Tucker spoke around a mouthful of jerky. “Because his parents are mad scientists.”

Sam nodded. “No one lives in the houses on either side of his. And the value of every building on the street has plummeted due to proximity.”

Cassie shook her head. “How the hell have they been allowed to do all that? And why haven’t their driver’s licenses been revoked? We saw how they drove that tank of theirs.”

Tucker snorted. “No cop or city official is brave enough to go up to Jack ‘I can run through brick walls’ Fenton and tell him he’s not allowed to do something.”

Sam laughed. “And even if they were, Maddie Fenton has a blackbelt and will hold a grudge.”

“Last night it also seemed like she knows her way around that arsenal she’s got,” said Tim.

“Yeah,” said Danny. “Mom’s the one you’ve got to watch out for when my parents go on the hunt.”

“Okay.” Tim was already thinking up ways to neutralize them. “Us four should be able to handle them. What about Jazz? Is she someone we’d have to worry about?”

Danny pushed himself up and made sure Tim could see him rolling his eyes. “Jazz would never do anything to hurt me.” It was clear Danny believed his statement completely. And, honestly? After all the stories Danny’d told him and meeting Jazz in person, Tim was inclined to believe him. Though Danny wasn’t done. “And my parents would stop if they had any idea I was Phantom.”

Neither Tim nor Danny was as certain about that statement. Glancing around, everyone else seemed to have the same doubts.

“Well,” said Tim. “You know me. And I’ve told you about B. ‘Backup plans’ is my middle name. I’ll feel more comfortable if we have one.”

“Fine.” Danny flopped over until he was laying across Tim’s lap. “But don’t expect me to help.”

Now it was Tim’s turn to roll his eyes, but his fingers were gentle as they brushed through Danny’s hair. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, it’s Maddie we’ll have to outsmart. I doubt Jack’s strength is any match for Conner or Cassie.”

“I can get you access to the Fenton house,” said Tucker gesturing to his laptop. “Even if they activate the home defense system.”

Tim nodded. “Thanks. I’ll also get you communicators so you can reach me in case of an emergency.”

“Perfect,” said Sam. “We’ve each other’s cell numbers, too.”

“Yep,” said Tim. “But phones should only be used for civilian identities. If you need the help of heroes, please use the communicators. It’s best to keep things as separate as possible.”

Conner nudged Tim’s foot with his own. “Yep. Tim here won’t let us refer to him by name when he’s in costume. Even if we’re all alone in our own base behind two dozen layers of security.”

“Need I remind you who trained me?”

Cassie laughed. “He’s even worse. You should hear my aunt go on about him.”

Tucker was watching them with interest. “Who’s your aunt?”

Bart disappeared from his spot only to reappear next to Tucker to whisper in his ear.

Tucker’s eyes widened and he stared at Cassie in wonder. “That is so cool! Could you get me an autograph?”

Cassie laughed. “Why so surprised? You know who I am. Did you think I wouldn’t know her?”

Tucker blushed. “Yeah, well. Excuse me for being distracted by the ghost invasion we’re dealing with.”

Tim cleared his throat. “I think we’re getting off topic. Now, we have a way into the Fenton house. Tucker, could you get us all the way into the lab?”

“Easily. I’m fully in all their systems and they’ve no idea.”

“How will we know he’s in trouble?” asked Bart.

Tim bit his lip. “Danny and I already have a system in place where if we don’t hear from each other within seven days without prior warning, we reach out to someone. For me, it’s B’s butler. For him, it’s you Tucker.” He nudged Danny only to realize he had passed out his lap. Tim couldn’t help the fond smile he gave and shook his head. “Tomorrow I’ll propose decreasing that to three or four days.”

Conner nodded. “If none of us hear from one of you for more than four days, we’ll come. Probably me, Bart, or Cassie since we can travel faster.”

Tim grimaced, but nodded. Sometimes it really sucked being the only baseline human in the group.

Bart gave a thumbs up. “I can usually be somewhere in minutes if I’m not tied up doing something else!”

Sam looked them over critically. “You know he’s gonna insist that goes both ways. If you guys don’t check in, he’ll go to you if he can.”

Tucker began typing away on his laptop. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. I’m setting up alerts on the Fenton lab. If they start recording any experiments on an actual ghost, I’ll get a notification. If there’s any indication it’s Phantom, I can have the alert forwarded to you.”

Tim nodded. “Good. Do that.” He looked at his team. “We’ve seen the Fenton’s weapons and some of their fighting skills by now. I don’t think we’ll have any issues subduing them if necessary.”

“Nah,” agreed Cassie. “We can handle them.”

Back to Sam and Tucker, Tim asked, “Do we know what their weapons can do to humans? What risks they pose?”

Sam grimaced. “The small blasters are fine. But some of the bigger weapons? Like the bazooka or the missiles? Those have caused damage to the roads and buildings beyond what the ghosts do.”

“Have there been any casualties?” asked Cassie.

Tucker shook his head. “No. Thank God. It’s all been property damage so far.”

Sam nudged him. “Not quite. You’re forgetting Wes’s brother. Jack broke his arm two weeks ago when he shot at the Box Ghost and knocked over the pile of bricks that was being used to rebuild Mr. Nguyen’s store.”

“Ugh, right. I think I was trying to block that debacle from my mind.”

Tim sighed and shook his head. “I knew it was bad, but Danny really downplayed it.”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, well, this is life in Amity right now.”

“I suppose so.” Tim looked down at Danny who was frowning even in his sleep. “I think I’m gonna get him in a bed. Where will we be sleeping?”

“Probably a good idea,” agreed Sam. “Do you want to share a room?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. We haven’t had any one-on-one time yet. Which is a shame for our first in-person meeting!” Tim laughed and ignored the looks his friends were shooting him as well as the grins Sam and Tucker were exchanging. “Though with our lives, I should’ve expected something like this rather than a purely civilian meeting.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, probably. This is about par for the course for us. Take the room across the hall. If you need the bathroom, if you exit my room, turn left and it’s two doors down on this side of the hall.”

Tim shifted so he could lift Danny up. Despite the shuffling, Danny didn’t open his eyes, though he did grumble indistinct protests.

“Just getting you in a bed,” said Tim.

Conner grabbed the bag that had their belongings in it and opened the doors for Tim. While Tim settled Danny in the bed, even having to remove shoes and socks, Conner separated their things so he would have everything he needed.

“Thanks, Kon.”

“Anytime, Tim. Get some rest yourself, okay?”

Tim huffed a laugh. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Conner shook his head. “You say that and yet at the end of basically every mission, you pass out for twelve hours and are useless for two days.”

Tim stuck out his tongue. “I do have homework to do. And I want to keep my eye on the local news channels. And I need to check in with Bruce again before he flips. Let me know when your phone is working?”

“Will do. See you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

-----

Next

So! They now have a working system for how to find out if Danny's in trouble and to get him out. Hopefully they won't have to use it! (I mean, we all know where this is going. I presume you've all read the original prompt and fill that started this mess.)

Also, thanks to a comment on the last post, I wanted to clarify the relationships in this fic. If you've gotten Core Four (Tim/Kon/Cassie/Bart) vibes from this... Yeah. You did. If you've gotten Everlasting Trio (Danny/Sam/Tucker) vibes from this... Yeah. You did. I'm going to write those groups as a sorta QPR. Eventually, we will have romantic Danny/Tim (hence I've been tagging this Dead Tired) on top of those QPRs, but that won't really happen for a while. First Danny will date Val and Tim will date Steph. Danny will have another relationship, too, that I'm keeping secret for now. None of those are likely to get any page time as I am planning a time skip after this arc. But they will be referenced by characters. The actual Danny/Tim won't happen until after the rescue scene from the original fill. (Which I'm sure you can imagine will be changed quite drastically now that all these characters know each other.)

I no longer do tag lists, but if you head to the Subscription Post, you can set up notifications for when this updates!

[drbased]

A lot of classic wisdom advice says to let your emotions flow by, not paying special attention to them, and you can achieve some sense of peace this way.

But in my experience with depression, recognising that my emotions aren’t random - that they represent reactions to my environment according to values and beliefs I hold - has been invaluable in my recovery and self-discovery.

Emotions are sensory feedback, but they’re sensory feedback of the self - and imo ignoring them is tantamount to self destruction. I know analysing each of my emotions and intellectualising them is a refusal to accept my selfhood - but I needed to do that step first before I could learn to trust that my emotions are manageable, valuable and part of me. I need to learn to recognise that I was bored, that that person irritated me, that I was low-key worried I won’t get to that place on time. As my depression is built out of embarrassment that I’m an individual, and therefore I should defer my emotions and beliefs to some sense of ‘objectivity’, recognising the embarrassing specificity of my emotions - and where they originate from - gave me an avenue into accepting the natural subjectivity of the self.

My understanding is that once you’ve acquired a mental illness, you have to approach yourself differently. If you’ve broken your leg, you can’t walk on it like other people do. And my journey out of depression required steps that other people would call 'overthinking'/'overanalysing'. But here's the kicker - I was already doing that anyway. Here are some examples:

'The lady doth protest too much' thought loops: So I would sometimes read an argument on the internet, and it would stick in my head, going round and round and never quite leaving me alone. The traditional advice of 'let it go' never seemed to work for me. So when I started this journey, I decided to actually ask myself why this thought loop is happening? What I realised was this: I actually agree with the argument, but I can't bring myself to admit that for various reasons - it's too miserable, it ruins my fun, etc. etc. In taking the step to actually recognise that a thought pattern and its associated emotional discomfort isn't something I shouldn't just 'let pass', I instead discovered a value that I had. And ever since I learned to recognise this, I don't get those thought loops anymore. I can and do still think about things intensely, but there is sense of purpose and a conclusion, typically an actionable one e.g. I don't like the morality of this film, but it's somewhat of a guilty pleasure, so I will only watch it pirated by myself and not talk about it with anyone.

Not being able to let stuff go: Similarly, if someone or something has upset me, I used to find it excrutiatingly difficult to let stuff go. I couldn't compartmentalise, and the thing that upset me would get in the way of me enjoying other things. What I learned about thought loops/difficulty letting stuff go is that they come from the same fundamental place: some fundamental question isn't being addressed. When I allowed myself to recognise that I was really, deeply upset by that one comment a person made, I was able to face it head-on. I allowed myself to be a subjective person who can be hurt by something, even if to others it would be an 'overreaction' - because regardless of even if it was an overreaction I was already feeling it anyway. So instead of refusing to acknowledge it in the hopes my pesky selfhood wouldn't get in the way, I decided to roll with it. Through this system I also learned that once I've acknowledge the 'unwanted' feeling, I also can acknowledge the reason why it's unwanted in the first place, and I can pit those two value systems against each other, negotiating with myself and coming to a robust solution. Now, individual things can seriously bother me, but my own new value system/system of logic recognises the importance of specificity - that one person bothered me, but they're not here now, and feeling good feels good, so there're nothing stopping me from enjoying time with these other people. And because I'm not constantly fearful that the unwanted emotion represents something inherently corrupted about myself (ironically enforced by its persistence in my mind), I don't need to be constantly low-key mulling it over, and so it can be completely out of my mind in a different situation, safely accepted as a valuable part of me. This, I now understand, is what we in the trade call 'letting things go'.

What I note here is that the medium is the message: every act of choosing to roll with my natural subjective selfhood instead of fighting it is, in itself, an act of self-acceptance. Just how giving a gift to a friend is both an act in the material world of creating an enriching environment with pleasant emotions, so too is it an act of love - in fact, it's an act of love because of its relationship with the material world. This is incredibly obvious in hindsight, but this causal connection with reality is entirely what I lacked. I was so stuck in my head, believing my emotions were tantamount to reality (or something 'more' than reality), and therefore they needed to represent something inherently correct and objective and should line up with my conscious perception of the world. In learning to accept them as simply a natural sensory feedback to a sense of subjecte value systems I hold in relation to my material environment, I have reinforced a direct causal relationship between myself and reality.

When I talk about how symbolic states disrupt your relationship with causality, this is a perfect example of that. Spiritual thinking is a rejection of the natural subjectivity of the self because it places higher meaning onto ones emotions instead of recognising that they're a response to one's internal value system/belief system. When I used to get a great euphoria from certain life experiences, I was conditioned to believe that that's a 'sign' of something bigger than me. My emotions were never my own, and as such I was terrified of them, but also I subsisted off them like a child starved of love and attention from a parent comes to rely on erratic and random demonstrations of affection. I now recognise that my emotions are my responsibility - which is also scary, but it's scary in a way which makes me feel like an actual adult. And that responsibility, as with all things in the subjective self, can be reframed - yes, there is responsibility, but there is also opportunity: I am not 'obligated' by the universe to eat this healthy meal because it is objectively good, and therefore I have no real 'need' to feel such emotional distress at not doing so; rather, I value myself and I value having a healthy body, so I can simply choose to eat this healthy meal. What was once an obligation is now a gesture of love - and I feel that love internally. It's a real, actionable love.

[aspengenic]

Hi, I saw your recent post/asks and I'm a little confused so I wanted to ask for clarification

I'm part of the DID/OSDD community on tumblr and I've been seeing a lot of posts there lately advertising the sunnyville minecraft server. It doesn't really look like my thing but we have a couple alters who love minecraft and were thinking of joining. But I stumbled upon your posts about someone named Eden who's the owner of the server being really gross and harassing people? Have I read that correctly? I'm completely out of the loop and I have no idea who this Eden person is, what they've done, if any of it is true, or how this relates to the mc server thats going around Tumblr right now. Pls explain like I'm 5 years old because I'm so so lost. This feels like the kind of thing you need to be 9 layers deep into lore/drama to understand in its entirety and I just can't decipher whats going on or what's wrong with sunnyville but I would really like to know the full story since I was thinking of joining

aight im at work so this is probably not going to be as detailed as it should be but eden/collectiveofeden/welcometosunnyvillesmp used to be known as aspensentourage on here and on tiktok. they did some reaaaaaal problematic shit like calling people slurs, doxxing childrens pks, trying to doxx a trans girl who is a minor and also said some super disgusting things about her and find out who her parents were (and roped other people to do it too), said gay people groom children, all kinds of things.

they did this for a long ass time (theres people saying theyve been doing this shit since 2019 but i personally havent been sent proof abt it yet). people told them how it was awful and harmful and they doubled down and said they didnt care basically.

heres just some of the screenshots i have from the aspenfrostsnark. theres much more on this blog though.

so anyway they gave an "apology" but only to the snark reddit about them. but no one trusted it and they promised they wouldnt be engaging in the system community anymore and stay off social media.

but they deleted the apology altogether and their excuse was "having an account would trigger me to look". but then they kept using reddit anyway with their account

theyre also posting back in the system community despite saying they were staying away from it bc they caused so much harm. they rebranded and refuse to answer people asking about it and will block anyone who does. they wont talk about it on their biggest platform, or anywhere.

many people aren't even aware that eden is aspensentourage. its all just super fucked up.

now theyre pretending to be fine with endos and pretending they didnt cause harm to endos and traumagenics alike.

no one trusts them because they are untrustworthy. those that do trust them are blinded by their bullshit and excuses.

hopefully this is enough bc i gotta get back to work before they catch me chilling in the janitors closet to type this lmao but if you have any more questions feel free to ask. youre also welcome to scroll through as much of this blog as you like

and anyone is allowed to add their own stuff of course

[cy-cyborg-draws]

It's been a very long time since I gave Kiesse some proper love!

I've been hyperfixating on the setting she's from and her story lately, so I wanted to redo her design since I'd been unhappy with for a while.

One of the biggest issues I had with it, was the prosthetics she used. I think I actually had an anonymous ask on my main account about how to make wing prosthetics work, so consider this an answer to that, if you're still out there anon lol.

In the past, I had hand-waved how her prosthetics worked because there are no functional wing prosthetics irl to reference. The previous solution was basically "magic robot wings" - which folks from my main page might recognise, is an example of the "perfect magic prosthetic" trope, a trope that I, as an amputee myself, absolutely hate lol, but I just couldn't think of another way to do it without giving her wing-elbows back. It didn't really fit the technology level of the setting either, so I got to work trying to think of something better.

I ended up digging up my old animation stuff from university, modelling a very basic dragon and spent a few days animating a flight cycle (and watching a bunch of slow-mo footage of birds and bats) to see what would be needed for the full range of motion in a wing-flap, and what could feasibly be altered, as a mechanical wing prosthetic will require some alteration to the way the whole wing moves, especially since the only natural joint Kiesse has on her wings is the shoulder.

The system I came up is a wing using a pretty simple pulley system anchored to her sides. There is a wire (which is mostly hidden) pulling the wing's elbow closed by default when the wing is back, but when the shoulder is rotated forward (which it would need to be during the majority of the wing-beat) a different set of wires an pulleys pull the elbow and hand/finger open again. This allows a pretty decent (if a bit awkward) range of motion for a wing-beat, and allows the wings to fold when she's not actively flying (though the tension line attached to her side can be unhooked to prevent accidental wings-to-the-face if she was to move around a lot on the ground).

I also wanted to make the prosthetics so that Kiesse could put them on herself. With this design, the harness would be placed on her back first and done up around her stomach using her front claws or tail with some kind of reinforced zipper. Next would be the sockets, which could be slid on with the assistance of some kind of frame to hold the wing when she's not wearing it (these are not common but do already exist for prosthetic legs to help elderly people/people with other mobility problems get them on). The membane can then be pulled into a track with a locking mechanism on the harness using her tail with the loops, and finally the tension wire can be pulled down and hooked onto the harness, most likely using her tail (the hook is, admittedly, not a great design since it wouldn't be very secure, but Kiesse would lack the dexterity for much else, so I'm still figuring that part out as of right now).

As much as Kiesse herself would hate it, I also had to dim the colours of the prosthetic, since the materials they have access to wouldn't allow for the bright colours I was using before. I feel like Kiesse will probably end up painting something on it instead during her story though lol.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little nerd-out lol. This took me a lot of attempts to get something that could *potentially* work without a heavy reliance on magic/tech, and I feel like a lot of the issues I couldn't solve are pretty reflective of actual mechanical prosthetics, which I have used in the past (being convoluted to get on, requiring weird alterations to how the limb naturally works to get a functional result, being a bit finicky to actually use) so I'm pretty content with it for now!

[tubby1230]

Outfits inspired by the songs from Epic: The Musical

Yes, first post upon my return is about a fandom no one knows nor asked for. But I've been filled with the songs from this musical as someone who 1) loves musicals and 2) LOVES Greek Mythology. Will be posting other art to my main fandom (be expecting, Stobotnik community) but needed to get this out of my system.

"Get in the Water" was the song that inspired this whole mess. It held so much emotion I just had to draw some things for it. For the order of the dresses, I had a vague idea in the beginning of what I wanted the outfits to look like. Then I actually listened to the song while drawing it and by the time I got to the third dress, I've had that song on loop the whole process.

I have always loved the cyclops part of the tale and the parts where he sings in the Musical send chills down my spine. I hate how "Survive" ended up, but the rest were pretty fun. I have been getting into fashion as I'm not very imaginative but want very crazy and unique clothing. So, might as well so some inspired by songs because they make me feel things.

Be posting soon since I can be back on here with no fear of being spoiled for OFMD season 2 (finally watched it and loved it). Go listen and support the musical! Lovely work, all of them.

[aching-tummies]

With your tummy already full of milk and starting to cramp up the only thing to do is hel "soothe" it poking your lower belly roughly while it twist into knots. Placing both my hand on your tummy and just squeezing. "Ahh is that to much pressure on your cramps aching tummy?"

A response to this post, I think? Thank you for your patience. It sat in my inbox for a month or so. I don't want to make excuses, but as an explanation: 6-day work-week + home project = dead-on-my-feet. I've been trying to craft a proper response to this ask all month...but I literally got to the point of opening a word-processor and promptly falling asleep after squinting at the screen brightness.

Wet gurgles churn through the earpieces of the stethoscope. I lean back on my pillows, indulging in the noises. At a glance, one might think that I'm relaxing to some classical music of some sort—it's almost a trope in movies and TV at this point where some wealthy dude (sometimes the 'bad guy') sits back and turns up the volume on some classical piece like 'Ode to Joy' or something as they sit back after a job-well-done with a sniffer of brandy or whatever. We ain't as a boujee as that—no classical music screaming 'taste' or 'wealth', no expensive sound-system, and no brandy. What I've got is a stethoscope pressed almost painfully into the middle-left of my torso,the round metal nudging at my stomach-organ with every breath as I have the diaphragm trained directly over my duodenum.

The gurgles are audible even without the stethoscope, but with it I am getting a much more immersive experience. It picks up all of the little, quieter gurgles and the parts too quiet to escape to the realm of audibility. It's because of the earpieces that I don't hear it when you walk into my room, pausing at the door to take in the sight of me blissed out and indulging in my stomach. A glass that once contained milk sits on my night-table, telling you all that you need to know about what's going on.

You watch for a minute, watch as my blissed-out calm eventually begins to shift. It starts with a sharp gurgle, an irregular tensing of my abdominals, and a wince on my face as the painless part of the indulgence moves onto the main event. Enough milk has entered my intestines—enough to irritate the works. By the third wave of cramping, I'm moaning quietly, the stethoscope slipping as I begin to knead at my tummy as the cramps build to something painful—like the difference between calm waves and sky-scraper-sized waves out on the ocean. The cramps that were cute and manageable have grown, built themselves up to the point where it's painful. My intestines spasm irregularly, giving me that tell-tale 'in knots' feeling that I dread so very much.

“Ah!” I startle as I feel the bed dip and finally open my eyes, seeing your unexpected presence. A blush colors my features, unbidden, as I realize you caught me indulging alone. I thought you were working today and thought that I'd have the day off and the place to myself to indulge in a little stress-relief.

You don't even ask, reaching out with both hands to palpitate my belly. It's barely noticeable, but it's definitely rounder and tighter just a little bit more than it was an hour ago as the milk reacts negatively in my intestines, generating some painful gas inside of my constricting intestines.

I moan deeply as your probing hands press on some painful points on my tummy. On my right is a painful gas-pocket that's stuck in a loop of intestine—unable to be pushed to one or the other side of the loop because of restrictive cramps on either end of the twist. On my left, your thumb is nudging at the lower part of my duodenum, trying to act as a catalyst ensuring that all of the milk is in my intestines. My intestines rumble fiercely and my stomach burbles sickeningly. A gross, puff of sour, hot air pushes up and out of my stewing digestive tract in a pitiful excuse for a burp.

“Ahh...is that too much pressure on your cramping, aching tummy?” You tease, whispering in my ear as you relent the pressure and slide your hands over, only to press more firmly on other points on my belly. Your palms dig into the centre of my lower belly, just beneath my navel. The pressure is intense enough for me to moan and give some pained exclamations as the pressure in my cramping intestines ramps up from the pressure. I feel like a tied-off-balloon being squeezed from the bottom, your hands pinching off some much-needed space for the expansion of all the gas and nastiness being generated by the milk. The entire mess is expanding, and you just pinched off some prime real-estate. My intestines scream at the pressure, threatening to burst and aching fiercely.

[jacethebeltsculptor]

Outer Wilds Expedition Log #4 #1

Okay gang, I'm checking back in with another expedition log since I've been playing the game obsessively for the last few days. I suspect this is going to be a long one, so let's just blast off into it, as is the custom of the Hatchling. After my last few runs, the #1 thing I wanted to do was figure out the Quantum Puzzles that I had skipped on Ember Twin and Brittle Hollow. I've suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Quantum Moon through no fault of my own and I was eager for quantum vengeance superimposed over quantum retribution. My first target was the tower of Quantum Knowledge- I'd been here previously but was stumped for a way into the tower. My first few experiences with Ember Twin started to clue me into the notion that the time loop was pretty integral to how the game progressed, rather than just a way to explain the autosave system, and that particular events happen at particular times every single loop. With this knowledge in mind, I decided to try cramming my ship into the tower and wiggling it until it fit. This ended up getting my ship stuck, and despite my best efforts, I was not able to use it as a platform to jetpack off of to the top of the tower. Once I realized that I couldn't ADHD Goblin my way to a solution here, the thought occurred to me that the whole planet was collapsing into a black hole. I hadn't seen any of the major construction fall no matter how long I waited and assumed it was sacrosanct, but I also don't think I'd ever been on Brittle Hollow long enough to see the final collapse. So, I waited, and I waited, and I played Baba Is You on my phone, and when I looked up, I was floating in the void, and the puzzle was solved. The secrets of the sixth location and the north pole were mine. Along the way, I met Riebeck, the next of the Outer Wilds crew that I hadn't met yet. I like this guy- archaeology and xenoanthropology are valuable fields of study, and I respect that he's fighting against his fear of space just to be here. Space do be goddamn scary, bud. Just, uh, might want to move on in the next 10 minutes or so or you're gonna end up having a really, really bad day. From there, I discovered White Hole Station- I had previously written it off as space junk, and attempted to fly back to Brittle hollow manually when I fell into the hole. It, uh, went well. Turns out it's a big teleportation tower, so I grabbed the projection stone and teleported back to Brittle Hollow just in time to watch the sun go nova. I ended up scrambling to slam that plate into a wall and translate the text before I died, and while I didn't get to actually read it, my ship's computer later told me that the towers on the Ash Twin were actually teleporters linking to critical parts of the project on a variety of different planets, which cements my theory that there's a "perfect loop" where I zap about the solar system, complete the Ash Twin project, and save the day. I don't think I have all of the pieces of the puzzle yet, but once I do, I'm gonna go full ADHD speed goblin for the win. On my next loop, I went to Brittle Hollow again to see if I could find my way to the Southern Observatory. A bit of brute-force wandering got me there, as well as a few VERY risky jumps, which showed me what I needed to get down to the core of Giant's Deep, which is to fly into the DOWN tornadoes, not the UP tornadoes! Well, fuck, I could've figured that out myself with a bottle of whiskey and a loop to kill. I followed that advice and got under the guardian current, only to be stopped by a big electrical ball of Palpatine-style death. Fortunately, this didn't turn out to be too hard to get past- I just rearranged the guts of a jellyfish and slipped right in to the Probe Tracking Module on the surface of a planet who seems to be 95% volume by water. Whatever the core is made of has got to be dense as shit, scientifically speaking. Stay tuned for Expedition Log #4 #2 as we go back to Space Mexico to play with hide and seek with rocks in a dark cave, like a mentally-healthy individual.