#I NEED TO SEE HIS CRYPTIC ASS

[aaron-is-comatose]

Hagaahahaahhaahhaahhhahahaa what is this guys hhaahhaah

[zoobus]

Okay I know this is old news and no one cares anymore but another reason it's dumb to put Toshiro not explicitly telling Laios he didn't like him on his culture/upbringing/east vs west/poorly defined anthropology concepts

(in addition to all the other reasons e.g. Laios canonically has a 1 in people skills, Falin is of the same culture and does not struggle in the same way Laios does, Laios' inability to pick up "high context" social cues/read people is an issue that follows him throughout life not just with this one foreigner, everyone else in his party figures out how Toshiro feels despite not being easterners, Toshiro's recollection of how he indicated he wasn't interested are all common ways to softly reject people in "Western" culture ["I'm busy that day. I'm busy the next day. I'm busy every single day."], Toshiro's nanny [also an easterner] points out his inability to speak his true feelings as both odd and a character flaw he should work on, Toshiro has logical reasons to not make his feelings known, one of the big background themes of the story is that broad, sweeping assumptions about how Other Races think is a good way to misunderstand the individual you're dealing with and the lived experiences that shaped them)

IN ADDITION TO ALL THAT. What was it Rin said before that fight?

[cryptidapprentice]

dating apps are scary 😖😖

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ the "dying" wolverine ]❜

ft. logan howlett x gn! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ taking care of logan when he’s sick┊0.8k words

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: fluff, established relationship

➤ author's note: i’m feeling like shit so i’m making him suffer with me

what part of regenerative healing don’t you understand? it’s impossible for him to get sick in any capacity as his immune system is stronger than the adamantium in his body, so feel free to read any of the other logan fics written by all the amazing writers on this platform!!

but let’s say that he somehow contracted a special bug that managed to get past all that and managed to make him fall ill, requiring you to take care of him while wade goes on a mission to figure out what’s wrong with him…

this headstrong two-hundred-year mutant who can take stab wounds without flinching and is an invincible tank in battles will be the whinest son of the bitch. he always lets his guard down around you, but he’s the most vulnerable and immature that he’ll ever allow himself to be around anyone since he can’t remember the last time (or if he has ever in his life) felt so shitty. shivering despite being feverish and covered up in blankets which just made him sweaty and uncomfortable, an itchy nose that wouldn’t sneeze when he needed it to, coughing his lungs out every two minutes— it’s so alien to him.

when you finally show up to look after him, he’ll have uncharacteristically big puppy eyes as you gently place your hand on his forehead to gauge how bad it is. “how are you feeling, lo?”

“i feel like i’m going to fucking die.” there are several discarded tissues and water bottles overfilling the nearby trashcan, but it was clear that he had no idea how he was supposed to make himself feel better and suffering.

“i can tell,” you chuckle at how dramatic he sounds and it makes him frown, but he’s just so thankful that you’re here to take care of him (he doesn’t exactly trust al to do it, that woman is a bit too mysterious and cryptic for him, and the medicine she offered smelled funny even to his dulled senses). “let me go make you some soup.”

he doesn’t want you to leave at first because your cold skin feels so good against him, but he’ll lightly doze off for a bit now that he’s more comfortable and feels safer. don’t expect him to stay asleep for long though, he’ll get up from his little while you’re in the middle of cooking chicken vegetable soup to wrap his arms around you and rest his head on top of yours until you finish.

“why are there barely any vegetables in the fridge? i could only find half a carrot and wilted celery.”

“i don’t think anyone here eats that stuff.”

“logan, you need to eat your greens— all you guys do, how are all three of you in such good shape then?!”

“eh.”

he can’t make anything more complicated than butter noodles, wade sets nearly everything on fire, he feels slightly guilty eating the food made by an elderly blind lady when he’s already freeloading at the moment, and constantly ordering take-out becomes expensive. you’ve given some food in tupperware for him to eat up, but it isn’t quite the same. as if being sick didn’t make him miserable enough, he’s so fucking pissed that he couldn’t properly taste your freshly-cooked food and will make it known.

you scoff that it’s just soup and pour it out in a bowl for him to eat, but you’ll quickly find yourself spoon-feeding him. yes, his hands still work with perfectly fine motor functions. no, you’re not passing up the opportunity to baby him while he rolls his eyes (he’ll grunt at most and doesn’t say a word of protest, claiming that he’s merely allowing it since he’s too tired to fight with you over it and very glad no one could see it happening).

“here comes the airplane~”

“i’m a grown-ass man, don’t be ridiculous.”

“a grown-ass man without an ounce of whimsy in his life, open your fucking mouth and eat.”

this is one of the lower points in his life where he doesn’t quite understand why this is happening to him yet, so you obviously have give him as much affection as possible! keeping a cold glass of water nearby and a wet rag to dab on his face, he rests his head upon your thighs and you swear that you can hear him purring like a kitten. there’s not better pillow than his lover, soft, warm, and full of love as you hum a song to lull him to sleep.

“let’s get married one day…” he not sure how that slipped past his lips, it might be the fever talking for him, or the fact that he’s completely relaxed without any tension in his muscles and feeling himself falling in love all over again when you smile so sweetly at him

“okay, but you need to sleep and get better first.” you place a gentle kiss on his forehead until his eyes slowly drift shut, “i love you, logan.”

[scottiexmariee]

Social Media Headcanons

How I think the boys would be with various social media!

Masterlist

★ let's be real

★ Xav would follow you on everything.

★ he doesn't have an account? he's making one just to follow you and maybe Jeremiah if he's lucky

★ he would absolutely have your post notifications on too, would never admit that out loud though

★ don't worry he's definitely not checking to see who else likes your posts

★ interacts with 99% of your posts

★ would definitely attempt to post a "cute" candid pic of you, but in reality it's blurry as hell and completely mid

★ ^ "but I like that picture..."

★ I do think Xav would have a tiktok, but I think he'd be more of an observer than a poster

❄ aside from the Moments posts, I don't really see Zayne keeping up with a bunch of social media

❄ man is BUSY. I can't realistically imagine him doom scrolling through tiktok or twitter after a torturously long day at the hospital

❄ I REALLY feel like he would think tiktok is overstimulating or something

❄ but he would definitely sit with you like a good boy and watch some if you really wanted to show him something (bro is a closet softie, be fr)

❄ would definitely make occasional posts of you, like he does with the moment posts.

❄ probably dedicates his instagram to scenery pictures

❄ is definitely in your comments with his dry ass humor

♥ most definitely has every single type of social media

♥ twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc. all of it

♥ whether or not he runs the accounts? probably not most of them (ily Thomas)

♥ Raf is funny af, if you've seen the "sound was crisp 10/10" moment post you know what I'm talking about. I just know there'd be a GOLDMINE of similar posts on his personal twitter

♥ can totally see him being dramatic and sending you tiktoks of things he wants to do

♥ for exanple

♥ he sends you a video of a couple at the beach, holding hands and walking by the water

♥ after sending the tiktok, he'd say something like "must be nice"

♥ ^ "Rafayel do you want to go for a walk on the beach?"

♥ ^ "well, I was gunna work on a painting... buuut since you asked so nicely, be here in 10 cutie,"

♦ okay listen

♦ this man would be gassing you up in your instagram comments (personal hype man? oh yes, absolutely)

♦ man also has no problem showing you off, you're def getting posted. bro adores you. immediate hard launch, zero shits given

♦ sometimes he posts vague ass shit on moments that only you (and maybe the twins) would understand, so I definitely see that carrying over to other platforms

♦ imagine him cryptic posting on twitter

♦ ^ "the sky is a little darker than normal today" and he's literally just being petty because you forgot to send a good morning text

♦ as for tiktok, I can absolutely see you having to explain to him wtf a tiktok even is

♦ "Why not just post it on Moments? I don't understand why it needs a whole different platform."

♦ ^ he'd definitely make an account though, simply because you asked

♦ if he posts anything on tiktok at all, it would probably be him using an alloy ammo box as a grill or something (iykyk), or reposting things that you posted

BONUS: Luke & Kieran

-Let's be fr, Luke & Kieran would most definitely be shitposters

-They are funny as HELL

-Brainrot fyp on tiktok = Luke and Kieran

-Their social media would absolutely be chaos but I'm here for it

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic!Danny Phantom- pt. 8

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been to the hospital in the past three years, I’d have enough money to buy a bag of skittles from Target. Most of it wasn’t for me though lol I’ll add this onto the list in a bit, but I tend to do that from my desktop but I’m still currently attached to an IV drip. I’ve also never been this hydrated in my life lmao

——

Danny poked a puffed up pufferfish. The poison floated through his ghost form and did nothing but give him a little zap. Danny chuckled, wiping away a bit of oil that had gotten onto the fish from a nearby oil spill. Jesus fuck. Danny knew that bald headed, easily drawn Vlad wannabe from across the river would do something terrible to Gotham’s waters (not that it needed help being atrocious to Danny’s clean water appreciation).

The puffer fish- Danny gave up on understanding Gotham’s water ecosystem, having realized that it was a cursed mix of saltwater and freshwater and swamp- gave a fearful little wiggle and Danny let it go, turning to the oil particles floating around.

Danny took out his phone.

“Danny? Why the hell are you calling at three in the morning?”

Danny raised a hand and blasted out some ice, gathering the oil up. “Hey Sam. If I got you into contact with Poison Ivy, do you think you could team up to get rid of Lex Luthor’s new holding company in Gotham?”

“Danny, are you asking me to commit an act of ecoterrorism?”

“That’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve ever asked you to do.” Danny placed a hand on the ice mass and flew it, the oil, and himself across the river to Metropolis.

“Deal.” Sam’s voice gets further away as she pulled her phone from her ear. “I’ll text Tucker, see if he could futz with Luthor’s taxes. I heard her doesn’t even give his workers a livable wage, and that’s so not gonna fly.”

“Perfect! Thanks! We could totally meet up and hang out with my new friends!”

“Hah! That Tim guy? The one that wanted you to introduce Phantom to him?”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, goth girl.”

“Sure, dork. I’ll swing by Friday?”

“Sure! Want me to pick you up?” Danny phased through Lex Luthor’s frankly ridiculous amounts of security measures, still completely invisible and towing a giant mass of oil covered ice.

“Cool. Now hang up. I actually need sleep.”

“Ah, you must be dead tired. I get it.”

Sam hung up, and a second later, Danny got a pic of her holding up a middle finger with her signature purple nail polish.

Danny stared down at the sleeping billionaire. Gross. He let his face re enter the visible spectrum and lowered the temperature of the room drastically. Luthor groaned, waking up as he shivered like a hyped up chihuahua.

Danny bared his teeth, glowing green skin reflecting the black holes of the universe and imploding stars and burning planets as he leaned towards the frozen two bit villain.

“RESPECT THE PLANET,” Danny snarled. He unmelted the invisible ice as he simultaneously made the oil visible, the entirety of the oil spill coating every single inch of Luthor’s penthouse bedroom. Danny winked out, but not before snapping a quick picture of Lex Luthor’s absolutely covered in his company’s oil spill.

If Danny had made sure that there were fish droppings mixed in with the oil… that was his own damn business.

——

Danny floated over to a brooding Batman.

“Do you have two hundred dollars on you?” Danny asked in lieu of a greeting.

Batman grunted a yes.

“Two hundred dollars for a photo of Lex Luthor being hit with karma.”

Batman instantly handed over the cash and received a printed out photo of Lex Luthor (in his Lexcorp pjs) covered by fossil fuel.

"Is this..."

"The oil from his oil spill? Yes."

Batman stared at the picture.

"Why was this more expensive than ID'ing corpses?"

"Cause it's funnier. And dead people deserve more consideration than a egg looking ass polluting everything he touches."

Superman zoomed into the space in front of them, face eager.

"I heard you had something about Luthor?"

Danny figured that Batman probably contacted the hero, and confidently said, "$200 for personal use, $300 for commercial use."

Superman quickly got together three hundred dollars in cash and quickly forked it over. Danny gave him another physical copy of the photo and a usb drive with the photo in a digital format.

"I am so pinning this up." Superman muttered.

"Get out of my city." Batman said flatly. Superman waved a hand, beamed at Danny, and left.

"Did you know Gotham's waters is a mixture of freshwater, swamp, and saltwater habitats?"

Batman grunted.

"Also, please stop stalking Danny Fenton. It's odd."

Batman swiveled his head over. "What."

Danny stared him down. "Stop. Stalking. Innocent. Bystanders. Or else I will recreate the phrase "drowned rat" with you as the subject."

Batman stilled.

"I don't kill, by the way. I can, however, dunk you in the sea and lift you up like a goth version of Simba."

Batman relaxed minutely. "I can't."

"And why not?"

Batman gave him a despairing look. "Have you met my children?"

"... Point."

[greengoblinswifey]

Routine—Dr. Charlie Mayhew x Fem!Reader

summary— Dr. Mayhew invites you after hours for a ‘routine check up.’ Based on this request.

warnings— slight cnc, abuse of power, anal fingering, face fucking, praise kink, degradation, face slapping, tit slapping, choking, objectification, hair pulling, sir kink, spitting, anal, unprotected sex, ass to mouth, breeding kink, creampie.

a/n— i feel like i’ve been gone so long but i’m back now <3(though it’s lowkey hard to write with long nails)

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿

It was late, the air unusually quiet except for the low hum of fluorescent lights. You weren’t sure why you’d agreed to come back after hours for your follow up. Dr. Mayhew’s cryptic suggestion earlier in the day had been impossible to shake: “Come back tonight when it’s quiet. We’ll have the place to ourselves.”

Something in his tone had made your pulse quicken, his usual professional demeanor cracking just enough to reveal something darker. You told yourself it was all in your head, but now, standing in the dimly lit exam room, you couldn’t ignore the tension crackling between you.

Dr. Mayhew entered, his white coat unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up to reveal strong forearms. His dark eyes raked over you, lingering just a moment too long. “Still here, I see,” he said, closing the door behind him with a deliberate click. “Good girl.”

The session started—a few questions, a brief examination. But as his hands lingered, brushing against your skin under the guise of professionalism, the air grew heavy with something unspoken. He leaned in close, his voice low, almost a growl. “You’ve been testing my patience all day.”

Dr. Mayhew adjusted his gloves, his gaze piercing but tinged with something else, something darker. His lips curved into a slight smirk as he approached you, tilting his head. “I need to perform a full examination,” he murmured, his tone smooth but commanding. “Let’s start with your chest.”

You hesitated, but the intensity in his stare rooted you to the spot. His hands moved deliberately, sliding over your shoulders before trailing down to rest just below your collarbone. “Relax,” he said, voice low and firm. “This is all part of the process.”

He cupped your boobs, the touch firm under the guise of a medical examination. His fingers lingered, pressing in ways that made you swallow hard. “You’re tense,” he muttered, almost to himself, his thumbs brushing suggestively. “Maybe I should take my time here.”

Your breath hitched, but his movements never faltered. “Don’t act so shy now,” he said, leaning in so his breath ghosted over your ear. “You knew exactly what you were coming back for.”

He firmly massaged your boobs, his gaze sharp as he did. He directed you to turn around, his voice clipped and commanding. “Bend over the table,” he said, gesturing to the edge of the examination bed.

You hesitated, unsure of his intentions. “W-why are you doing this?” you asked, trying to steady your breath.

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he rested a firm hand at the base of your spine, encouraging compliance. His other hand moved with practiced authority, adjusting your position so that you could arch better. “I’m the doctor here,” he said, his voice a low rasp. “And I know what’s best for you. Trust me.”

Your heart raced as he began his inspection, his hands firm and meticulous as he groped your ass. He tugged lightly on your hair, tilting your head to the side. “Keep still,” he instructed, the subtle pull sending a shock of awareness through you. “I need you to behave.”

A gasp left your lips as he tore the shorts under your tights, the cool air making your bare pussy quiver.

“D-doctor—” you groaned, but he cut you off sharply.

“Don’t speak, this is routine. I need to make sure everything is fine with every part of you,” he growled.

Another gasp left your lips as you felt the unmistakable feeling of a finger circling the hole no one had ever been in. The hole no one should be in—yet the pure taboo of it had you biting your lip and arching your back deeper.

“No hemorrhoids, virgin ass, so fucking beautiful,” he muttered, his voice low.

You bit down on your lip harder, groaning as you felt a finger push inside you.

“Shh, just let me do this,” he cooed.

Your doctor knew best, didn’t he? Though, alarm bells were ringing in your head.

You clamped around his finger and he let it settle, curving and slowly moving it around so he could wiggle his way inside you.

“Such a tight virgin ass,” he murmured.

Just as you were starting to feel pleasure, he removed his finger. You let out a sigh of relief but your breath caught again as you heard the sound of a belt buckle clinking. Turning around, his pants were pooled at his feet with the thickest cock you had ever seen.

You were about to say something when he grabbed your curls, turning your body around.

“Need to make sure that throat is able to be used for what it’s made for,” he murmured.

He shoved his swollen cock into your mouth before you could even think about what to do. It immediately hit the back of your throat and he kept it settled until you were gasping for air before he pulled out.

You gasped as you tried to get air but he began pushing your face into his crotch leaving you no choice but to accept his length back into your mouth.

“Learn how to suck cock like you were made for you dumb slut, take it all the way in!” he growled, tightening his grip in your curls and thrusting harshly as he proceeded to fuck your mouth even more vigorously than before.

A sick and twisted part of you just wanted to show him how good you were at this. So, your tongue darted out, trailing along his shaft and getting it sloppy.

“Fuck, that’s it, slut,” he moaned.

You hummed around his cock and continued, gliding your tongue along him as he fucked your throat. Your hands went to his heavy balls, massaging as you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, trying your best not to gag.

“You’re such a good cock sucking whore, m’ gonna cum down that throat,” he gasped, his pace faltering but still just as brutal.

Suckling on the bulbous tip, you stroked his shaft and felt his cum spurt into your mouth. He thrusted into your throat again, holding you down as he came down your throat, your nose touching his pelvis.

“That’s a good whore, don’t let a drop go to waste,” he cooed.

Once again, not missing a beat, he grabbed you by your curls, shoving you flat onto the table. “Now, I’m gonna put my cock inside that pussy, just because I can,” he whispered, “and you’re going to take every single inch like the good little whore you are.”

You didn’t bother protesting, you knew your protests would fall on deaf ears and so, you allowed him to spread your legs.

“You’re so wet, your pussy’s working just fine,” he smirked, using the head of his cock to drag along your folds.

You whined shamelessly, the throbbing in your clit growing unbearable.

“No whines, only begging, and call me sir while you’re at it,” he demanded.

Something came over you—or at least that’s what you wanted to believe.

“Please sir, just put it in, please fuck me,” you pleaded, your pussy getting wetter as you uttered each word.

A sharp smack against your cheek made you whine again. “You can do better than that, slut.”

“Please fuck me sir, I need your cock, I’ve never needed anything more, just please fuck me, fuck me like a slut,” you begged.

Satisfied by your begging, he grabbed you by the throat, thrusting inside your wet pussy giving you no time to adjust.

“So tight, like your pussy was made for my cock,” he murmured.

His grip around your throat tightened as he slammed into you, hard, your tits bouncing. His other hand came down on your tits, slapping them before a sharp smack was placed on your cheek, making you moan.

“Oh, you like that? You like being treated like just an object for me to use? Good, because that’s all you are to me,” Dr. Mayhew said.

Your pussy fluttered at his words, his cock pounding against your g spot repeatedly and you could feel a strong orgasm building. He leaned down, using his free hand to force your jaw open before spitting into it.

“Swallow, and soon as you do, cum on my cock, slut,” he muttered.

You swallowed his spit on your tongue and drenched him, your back arching off the table as your orgasm took ahold of you. As you squirted on his cock, your entire body shivered, his cock pounding your pussy through your orgasm.

“That’s it, what a good slut, this is all you’re good for, being an object for me to use,” he said, “now get on your hands and knees and spread that ass.”

By then you had accepted your fate, being nothing more than just a fuck toy for Dr. Mayhew. Why else would you have come back so late? You complied, arching your back as you did and spreading your ass to him.

He felt slick fingers rubbing your pussy then trailing back to your hole. A gasp left your lips as you felt two fingers plunge into you, the burning stretch leaving you aching.

“You’re going to wish it was my fingers fucking that ass,” he chuckled.

You realized what he meant, feeling the leaking tip of his cock bore into you. Still, you kept your ass spread open for him, allowing him to push deeper inside you.

“Fucking hell, so tight for me,” he groaned, finally able to fit half of his length inside.

He grabbed your hands, pinning them behind you and holding on as he fucked your ass. His thrusts were steady and deep, invading a hole that had never been used before.

“S-slow down,” you pleaded.

“You don’t tell me what to do, bitch, I do what I want to you and you take it like a good fucking slut who’s nothing more than an object for me to use. Objects shut the fuck up,” he retorted.

A sob left your lips but your body betrayed you as your ass clamped around his cock and your pussy clenched around nothing at his filthy words.

He took the opportunity to let go of your hands, reaching to rub your clit as he felt the impending orgasm.

“Stop acting like you aren’t enjoying this and fucking cum for me,” he said, “cum with my cock in your ass.”

He rubbed rough circles on your clit, his cock slamming inside your hole and you felt yourself squirt on his fingers, your body once again betraying you.

“Good girl, that’s what objects do, they listen.”

He pulled his thick cock out of your ass leaving you agape before grabbing your by your curls to face it.

“Clean my cock so I can fuck that pussy again,” he demanded.

Staring up at him, you took him into your mouth, sucking and slurping until every part of him was covered in your saliva. When he was satisfied with your work, he pulled you off him, a trail of spit connecting you with the tip.

“So beautiful when you’re ruined like this,” you heard him mutter.

He pushed you onto your back, his cock plunging into you as he chased his own orgasm.

“Look at me bitch, I want you to look at me when I cum inside this pussy and breed you.”

You stared into his brown eyes, his cock slamming against your cervix before you felt his hot load fill you up. He moaned as you clenched around him, practically milking him of all he had.

“Good girl, take my cum,” he praised.

As soon as he was satisfied, he pulled out of you, his cum slowly oozing from your pussy. He took a few wipes from a cabinet, carefully cleaning you up before his eyes met yours.

“Same time, tomorrow.”

[steddiealltheway]

(Set right before season 4)

Steve rushes over to the Henderson house after an ominous call from Dustin saying, "Come over as soon as you can, it's an emergency," before hanging up dramatically.

He can hear his nail bat rolling around in his trunk every turn he takes as he gets there in record time. He grabs the bat out of the trunk and rushes to the door, not bothering to knock before he barges in.

He's met with the sight of Eddie Munson staring at him with wide eyes as Dustin yells, "No! No! Don't swing! Not a code red!"

Steve sets down the bat and lets out a deep breath. "What the hell, Henderson?! I could've seriously taken you out with this thing!" He hears Dustin give him a half-assed apology as he tries to get his heartbeat to slow down. "Next time, don't leave such a cryptic message, okay?"

"Okay," Dustin says, holding his hands up.

"What the fuck is that?" Munson asks, staring at the bat.

Steve points at him and says, "Language," before turning to Dustin and asking, "What's he doing here?"

Dustin sighs and gestures them toward his couch. Steve shoots Eddie a look before taking a seat right against the arm of the couch. It's not that he hates him, hell, he's pretty sure he's gotten weed from him before. It's just that he doesn't like sharing this older brother role with another guy - especially one who likes to make dramatic speeches on top of lunch tables.

Based on the way Eddie is similarly leaning away from him and uncomfortably fidgeting with his rings, he can tell there's a mutual tension between them. Dustin doesn't pick up on it as he sits across from them, acting like he's about to deliver the worst news ever.

Steve leans forward a little trying to get Dustin to finally spill and tries not to lean back immediately when he sees that Eddie is doing the same thing.

"Okay, Suzie and I were talking, and her family is considering visiting Hawkins."

Steve smiles. "That's great, but why-"

"Why are you acting like that's bad news?" Eddie asks, finishing Steve's sentence. The two glance at each other, and Steve tries not to size him up.

Dustin groans, "Because I need to take her on a proper date! We weren't able to go on dates during science camp, so I want this to be special. Of course, this is all contingent on whether she can convince her dad to give us alone time..."

"I could be your chaperone, but I'd ditch you once you got to the movie theater," Steve offers.

Eddie scoffs, "Yeah, a date with Suzie will not be at a movie theater."

Steve crosses his legs and turns toward Eddie. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you knew something about dating. Wait a minute." He directs his attention back to Dustin, utterly horrified. "You asked me and Munson for girl help?"

"Don't sound so shocked," Eddie says, but Steve ignores him.

"Yes," Dustin states simply. He sighs and gestures between the two of them. "Steve, you're a lady's man and you know exactly what to say and where the best date spots are, but you pick up the worst girls. Except Robin who you refuse to date." Steve doesn't have time to argue before Dustin points at Eddie, "And Eddie understands all the cool nerd stuff that Suzie and I like, and he's super charismatic. So, I thought we could combine your abilities to create the most epic date in the history of dates."

"No," Steve and Eddie both say at once.

"Guys-"

Steve turns to Eddie and raises an eyebrow. "Why are you protesting my help?"

"Because try as he might, Dustin can't convince me that you aren't an asshole that has never actually wooed a girl. You get by with your pretty looks and think that's enough."

Steve's mind lingers a bit on the "pretty looks" for some reason, but he pushes past it to say, "Please, you're telling me you know a single thing about wooing a girl?"

Eddie leans in with a bright smile. "You heard it from Henderson, I'm charming."

"Charismatic," Steve corrects him, "But I haven't seen a shred of that yet."

Eddie tosses an arm over the back of the couch and scoots in until Steve is trapped against the arm of the couch. Steve tries not to show Eddie how much the sudden closeness is affecting him.

"I could easily charm your pants off, big boy," Eddie says with a wink.

Steve's eyes betray him and flicker down to Eddie's lips. "Please, I'd easily beat you to it."

Eddie tilts his head and looks at him through his lashes. "Are you saying you want to charm my pants off, Harrington? I'm flattered, but I'm not that kind of girl."

Steve raises his eyebrows. "Is that a bet?"

"Do you want it to be? Because it kind of sounds like it."

Steve blames his series of bad dates, the meaningless sex with girls with no substance, and the weird tension between them for his response. "It's a date, Munson."

"So, I'm going to assume that was the weirdest way of you two agreeing to help me," Dustin says, startling Steve away from Eddie who he was definitely not just about to kiss.

"Jesus H. Christ," Eddie mumbles under his breath as he moves away, seeming to have also forgotten where they were.

"Sure, we'll create a date for you two and trial-run it for issues," Steve says.

Dustin smiles wide and giggles, "See, I knew you two would help if you just put your dumb differences aside!"

"Something like that," Eddie mutters. "But hey, what does your gut say? Where do you want to take her?"

Dustin shrugs. "I like the idea of the movies."

Steve slowly looks over at Eddie and gives him a cocky smile. Eddie's mouth twitches momentarily into a frown, but he ignores him. "I'll think of something special to do after, but Harrington can fill you in on a movie date."

"I thought you were the expert on wooing," Steve snarkily replies.

Eddie huffs, "Movie dates just aren't my thing."

If they're actually trial-running this, Steve will make it a point to make movie dates Eddie's thing.

"That sounds great. Thank you both!" Dustin says, still ignoring the obvious tension.

"Well, I've got to head out, but it was good seeing you," Eddie says with a genuine smile that Steve thinks he would like to see more often.

"I do, too. Hey, I'm glad I could help. Next time maybe don't make it sound like a nail-bat emergency though," Steve says lowering his voice before grabbing the bat.

He follows Eddie toward the front, but they both stop and turn to mess up Dustin's hair simultaneously. Steve pulls his hand back when Eddie's hand runs on top of his. He looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

"I told you you guys are similar."

Steve thinks that Dustin's right, but maybe they're only similar in the way they both obviously care for him.

They finish their goodbyes and head out into the cold January weather. Steve clutches his jacket tighter around himself - he had forgotten to grab a heavier coat in his rush over. He turns to Eddie and says, "Hey."

Eddie turns to him and raises his eyebrows.

"Want to trial-run that date tonight?"

Eddie frowns at him. "I thought you were joking."

With that, Steve should take the clear out given to him and agree. Yes, it was just a joke. Instead, he says, "It doesn't have to be."

It's a long few seconds of Eddie staring at him before he gets a quiet response of, "Yeah, sure. Uh, let's go to my place though. I don't want your reputation to be tainted if you're seen in public with me."

"I wouldn't mind," Steve says sincerely. He's not sure why he's so adamant about this date, but maybe he just wants to see where that moment on the couch could truly lead. "But hey, your reputation would also be tainted if you're associating with me."

"And we wouldn't want that," Eddie says with a small smile. "The freak and the king. What would people say?"

This surprises a laugh out of Steve before he says, "I think your place would probably be a little more intimate than a movie theater."

He can't tell if Eddie's cheeks suddenly flush a little pinker from the cold or a blush. "I told you, I'm not that kind of guy."

"More intimate doesn't always mean sex. You know this."

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "Why don't we continue this conversation at my place so you don't freeze to death?"

"I like the sound of that," Steve says, making his way to his car and trying to hide the huge smile that's trying to split across his face all because of Eddie Munson.

He rushes to shove his bat into the trunk, hoping that he won't have to further explain that to Eddie. But based on the way his eyes linger on it, he's thinking he won't get away from questioning too easily.

Luckily, he has prepared his Harrington charm for this moment. And boy, he's going to be using it as often as he can to prove Eddie wrong.

Part Two (aka the final part)

[thestarlitmidnight]

✨ Rewrite the Stars ✨

Summary: Being mated to Feyre doesn’t stop Rhysand to seek comfort from his former lover Y/N. One more night, that became their mantra. Fandom: ACOTAr Pairing: Rhysand X Y/N Warnings: Mention of explicit content, be aware of that and consider being 15+ before reading this. Word Count: 3 902 Previous Chapter Master List

Chapter 3

The autumn sun was low and hidden behind a heavy cloud. The air was getting colder. 

Perfect weather for outside training. One does not need to sweat their ass out in leathers while the sun is frying you. When it's chilly outside, the fighting leathers are perfect, keeping you warm enough without the need to sweat and smell. 

Right now, I was fighting with Az, testing our sword skills. 

With Az, it was always so easy to train. He was focused on the training and did not talk a hole into your head. Not like Cass or others, who loved to add to the sound of colliding steel their comment and small talk. 

Truth be told, with sword fight, it was impossible to beat Az, he was way too strong, quick and skilled. When it comes to hand-to-hand combat, or even daggers, he gets his ass kicked, but not with swords. 

Another reason why I wanted to test my sword skills with him. I need to put my whole focus into the fight to have even a chance to keep up with him. This way my mind does not have any spare time to be bombarded with unwanted thoughts. 

And there were a lot of them. 

But Azriel decided to break the code today, out of all of the days, and he spoke up. 

"Y/n, I am worried," his hazel eyes were glued on my face, but he did place an attack on my right side. 

"About?" I gritted through my teeth and quickly blocked the attack with the sword, my wing needed to flex a little into the other side, to keep my balance.

"You," he effortlessly blocked my own attack on his thigh. 

I simply rolled my eyes at him and did not reply. My sword started to place attack after attack, trying to break through his defences.

"I know what is happening," he simply said in a low tone, still watching me with these cryptic eyes. 

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I swirled on the other side of him and tried to place a hit on his left side, but he blocked it once again. 

He and his shadows. They always cheat, I am sure of it.

"Y/n, don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you," his eyebrows crushed together with distaste. 

I did not reply, waiting for him to elaborate on what he indeed knew about. It can be quite a lot of things, and I prayed he would come up with anything else than the truly concerning thing. 

"Tell me, why do my shadows report to me that they spotted Rhysand visiting your house?" He went directly to the point, and I growled as my hands started to shake from the effort to block his now stronger attacks. 

"He is my friend; he comes to chat," I lied skillfully, swirling away from him to create a little space between us so I could catch my breath. 

"Liar," he said with an even voice, allowing me to get a little break. "Do you guys chat before or after he has you bend over the desk in his study?"

My eyes shot up to him, now full of warning. Those fucking shadows of his. 

"You are poking your shadows into things that are not your concern," I replied with a stern voice, dismissing any possibility to dive into this topic deeper with him. 

"He is mated, Y/n; this is not going to end well for anyone involved," his face was covered in concern, no distaste or judgment, no, Az would never judge me or Rhys; he was just worried. 

And that made me furious. I crossed the space between us and started to dance with our sword clinging once again.

"Do you think, Az, that I am not aware of  that?" I growled at him and went with way more force into the attacks than before. "I would love to see you act differently in my shoes." 

Azriel, without as much a breaking sweat, knocked the sword from my hands and had me pinned down, his own sword on my neck.

"I would not act differently, but it is not fair to you," he informed me with his eyes glued on mine and his sword still on my neck. "I want you to know that if things get out of hand and you need someone to talk to, I am here for you; you are my little sister, Y/n, you are not alone."

My eyes started to water at his words, and when he helped me back up on my feet, I wrapped my hands around his neck and hugged him, thankful for him. At least one brother still considered me as his sister. Cass was way too invested in his mating bond to still have space for me in his life, but Az was always there for me. When shit hit the fan, he was by my side through the hardest times as much as he was through the best. Just like Rhys and Amren. 

"Angel, tell me, why did you start to take your little experiment alongside you to train?" Rhys walked into the rooftop, in his arms my misplaced cat. 

"Patchy! What are you doing here, baby?" I let go of Az, but not before I placed a thankful kiss on his cheek and went to snatch the creature out of Rhysand's hands. 

"For the love of the Mother, what is this?" Azriel walked closer to us, his eyes taking in the ugly cat. 

"Cat maybe? Or something that wandered into Velaris down from the mountains. I am still trying to figure that out," I scratched the head of Patchy. "How did you get here, Patchy? "

"You did not take it up here with you?" Rhys raised his eyebrows, eying the cat with curiosity. 

"No, and before you come up with some wildly ridiculous theory, she probably just hide in my training bag," I gave Rhys a pointed look, stopping any wild theories about my cat being able to winnow or something equally stupid. 

"It looks all weird," Az poked the bigger ear of the cat with his finger.

"I know, but it gives her a charisma," I laughed at the stunned expression of the shadowsinger; it takes a lot to surprise someone like him. 

"It is a mentally unstable thing, which loves to interrupt when it should not," Rhys grumbled, eying the cat like his enemy. 

That made me laugh. Patchy indeed had a terrible habit of interrupting us during sex. She would come and go after Rhys' feet, or straight out jump into the bed and slap him across his face. There was an occurrence where Rhys was fucking me over the counter in my kitchen just before the diner, and Patchy, with all the limping, managed to climb up to the shelves and push a glass bowl down on his head. 

Safe to say, that Patchy developed a way to make Rhys mighty fate her.

I looked up at Rhys, then at Az, back to Rhys, raising my eyebrows up. This was a kind of comment that I did not expect to hear from Rhys in front of a member of our family. 

"Az came to me first," Rhys sighed, brushing his hand over his jaw, where I just noticed a bruise that was fading quickly. 

Illyrian males and their inability to talk things out without using their fists. 

"Was it necessary to beat him, Az?" I raised my hand and tilted Rhys' head to the side, taking a better look at his jaw. "You know his pretty face is what I like about him the most." 

"Y/n, angel, that is a lie," Rhys charmed a cheeky smile, and he greatly enjoyed my fingers brushing across his jaw. 

Az just shook his head and laughed. "I forgot how annoying you two can be."

"Don't pretend that you did not miss it," I called after Az, who walked to the weapon rag, placing the sword back into its place and letting Rhys take me into his arms. 

"I did not say that," Az looked over his shoulder, giving both of us a warm, pleased smile. 

"Does anyone else know or suspect, or is it only you?" I asked Az, while tilting my head to the side because Rhys decided to sneak a few kisses on my neck. 

"Amren knows," Rhys replied before Az could open his mouth, his lisp brushed over my neck as he spoke. 

That did not surprise me. I knew that Amren at least suspected something. 

"Others have no clue," Az added, resting against the wall, his hands came to rest over his chest. 

"And it will remain this way till it is handled," Rhys placed a quick kiss on top of my wing and took Patchy from my hands, who shortly after disappeared into thin air. "She is waiting for you back at home; we have things to tend to."

"Rhys! She will be moody! That cat hates winnowing!" I scolded him and stepped on his feet, pissed that I would need to deal with a broody cat once I was back home. 

"That cat is not that often present; if you will be lucky, she will be broody on one of her endless adventures and come back home only hungry," Rhys dismissed my scolding and winked, leading me to the kitchen with his hand around my waist, that had tendencies to fall way too low to be considered polite. 

That was true. Patchy loved to explore. She spent more time out than indoors. No matter how misplaced and strangely shaped she was, that weird cat was exploring the world all the time. 

"I need you and Az to look into something; there are whispers that someone is wielding unknown magic in the Autumn Court," Rhys let go of me and went to sit behind the high table.

"Perfect," I sighed and looked at Az with poorly hidden despair. 

I hated the residents of Autumn Court. They were pompous, arrogant idiots with a god complex, always thinking they were better than others. 

What was worse, they rarely lent a helping hand, which meant whoever was cursed to tend to a mission there was always on their own accord, with no outside help. 

Az had trouble keeping his spy network there, and it is no secret that most of the expenses on the spies were pouring into the pockets of poorly willing people in the Autumn Court, who provided us back with half-truths, twisted information, and unreliable intel. But still, it's better than nothing. 

The only person in the whole damn Autumn Court who cared enough to provide us with useful intel was Eris, who might be an ass, but he had his highlight moments sometimes. 

In fact, I have seen Rhys in him sometimes. They both had similar qualities. Few differences were there, for example, that Eris did not have a good circle of his trusted friends and family. He was alone in a pretty tight system his father set, and he needed to orient through it all without any backup or outside help. 

Feyre walked into the kitchen then, looking over the three of us with something unreadable in her eyes. She carried herself with tension in her shoulders and a way too straight spine. Then her eyes ended on Rhysand, and she went right to him, placing a kiss on his lips. 

I fought a need to roll my eyes and chose to look at Az, who provided the two with privacy as well, looking back at me with those knowing eyes. I turned my back to them and crunched my nose at Az, making a face to shake the irritation out of my system. 

"What are you three doing?" Feyre asked with a way too light voice. 

I did turn only when Az made an effort to discreetly nod for me to turn around, and with a suppressed sigh, I did.

That viper was sitting way too close to Rhys for my liking. A mighty furry raised in my chest at the sight of his arm resting on his thigh.

What did not help me at all was the fact that his hand was wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close to himself. The same fucking way he held me a little ago. 

I felt sick. 

It took all of my self-control to not walk to that damn thief and not throw her off the cliff. It would do nothing. She can summon wings. I kept reminding myself of this fact. It would only piss everyone off and make this whole situation a lot worse and complicated. 

"Az and Y/n will need to go into the Autumn Court. There are whispers about an unknown magic being wielded there, and we need to investigate," Rhys replied, his voice even. 

I fought the urge to have my eyes glued to his hand resting around her shoulders. To stop myself from willing it not to move. To not caress her skin.

"Eris will be happy to see Y/n," Az said, his shadows moving around him in calm manners. 

I raised my eyebrow at him, a smug smirk landing immediately on my lips. I knew where he was going with this and I loved every fucking second of that. 

"He will, won't he? Last time we saw each other, he was promising me the title of the Lady of the Autumn Court," I mused back to him, purposely ignoring the burning stare from our High Lord. 

A little fact about Eris. He loved fierce, independent females. Those, he knew he couldn't  have. It was like a hunt for him. A challenge that he very gladly accepted and bathed in the thrill of it. He loved hunting, his favourite pastime, so it should not come as a surprise to anyone that he enjoyed hunting his females as well.

"I will bet ten golden marks that he will bring another priceless gift; my guesses are on another dagger," Az noted to me, looking all innocent as he did so. 

I always knew that Az would have my back. He must have seen how off track the sight of Rhys and Feyre set me, so he found effortlessly a way to turn this into torture of Rhys instead of me. 

"Make it twenty and that he will straight out propose to her at least once," Cassian walked into the kitchen as well. 

He came back from Illyria, where he was training with his soldiers, and he looked like that. Sweaty and with messy hair, which stuck out of his bun. 

"Not the proposal, please; it was enough the last time!" I rolled my eyes and smiled at Cassian. 

"Did I miss something? Since when does Eris fancy Y/n?" Feyre looked between us, her face confused, while her damn fingers darted to Rhys' hair with her eyes ending on me while she brushed them. 

"Let me guess..." Cassian made a thinking face. "Az, care to help me? You remember the dates better."

"Since the day she kicked his ass on one of the meetings, I would say at least a hundred years," Az replied right away, a light smile crossing his lips. 

"You did what?" Feyre's eyes went wider.

I only raised my eyebrows at her, but did not reply; if I did, only cursed words would fall from my lips at her direction. 

"He was ass, talking shit about Rhys, it was only natural she kicked his ass, Rhys would get into trouble for doing that, but nobody would dare to talk shit about Y/n for defending her-," Cass waved with his hand, walking to the sink to pour himself some water. 

"Cass, did you forget that it was you, who did not hesitated to push me away and finish him yourself?" I smoothly interrupted him, he and his big mouth can sometimes get tricky to control. 

"And you are surprised? Nobody will talk like this about my brother and little sister," he gave me a duh face, completely unaware that he was speaking about things that are not to be spoken of in front of the little viper. 

"What did he said about them?" Feyre was now looking between me and Rhys with curiosity. 

"Nothing that is your concern," Rhys replied to her, his voice firmer. "I was not aware that it was necessary to meet with Eris at the mission you will have."

Rhys looked tense. His jaw was tightly set and those violet eyes of his were holding frustration that was contained only be the sheer will of his. 

"It is certainly necessary. Eris is the only one who has the best intel, if someone is wielding strange magic in his court, he will know it," I said with a light smirk on my lips. "And it will be  nice to see him again. Do you think Az, that he practiced those dagger skills?" 

"He? Yeah, for sure, he is probably eager to show them off to you," Az smiled fully in return, his eyes shining now with mischief. 

"Will you reward him if he did?" Cassian chimed, wiggling his eyebrows. "I always knew you were made for greatness,Y/n, now that the air is clear for him, who knows, maybe you will indeed become Lady of the Autumn." 

That made me chuckle. 

It was a solid possibility to take and get out of here. My social standing will only benefit and I will get rid of the sight of Feyre clinging to Rhys at any opportunity she gets. 

"We will see how things play out," I replied with light voice, my eyes finding the violet gaze. 

He got the message. I am sure of it. And I am sure as hell that there will be a nasty fight over this. 

"Y/n, Autumn, really? Come one, you yourself know how stupid of idea that would be," Rhys cannot hold this remark to himself and it stirred satisfaction in me, soothed the painful ache in my chest a little. 

"Why would it be? If Y/n thinks it will make her happy, she has a free will to decide and do not need to ask for permission from you all," Feyre proclaimed eagerly, surprising me with this. 

Is she by any means eager to get rid of me? 

"Feyre darling, Y/n hates Autumn, it would be concerning if she would ever choose to permanently reside there, especially with someone like Eris, who doesn't have the slightest idea about how to handle someone like our angel," Rhys' voice was clipped, tightly controlled as he spoke, his eyes now glued permanently on me, ignoring his precious mate wholly. 

A thing Feyre noticed and did not liked at all, judging by the shift of her body language. She moved her fingers from his hair down to his neck, stroking the sensitive skin there, hoping to get his attention back. 

"Maybe, but did you forget that it is not only Eris, who decided to court our little sister?" Cassian send Rhys a cheeky grin, his chest puffing with pride. 

It was kind of endearing. Cass truly thought that me and Rhys split up and it was done. That I accepted the fact he is mated and he probably believed that I will start moving on with my life as well. He was willing to see me go and settle anywhere as long as I will be happy. 

"He is not?" Feyre's eyes once again widen and her voice was coloured by poorly controlled irritation mixed with hope. 

"Y/n is a hot stuff you know. Last time I spoke with Helion, he was dreaming out loud about finally having opportunity to court her," Cassian's eyes practically shined with excitement. "In my opinion, Helion is better choice than Eris, but who is also in game is Tarquin, but considering how much you hate the sun, he will have little to none chance to get you reside in his shiny palace."

I cannot help and laugh a little. 

It was ridiculous. Truly. Once the news that I am no longer with Rhys got out, they all loose it. Males can be sometimes truly precious. 

"If they all are so interested in her, why they did not courted her already?" Feyre demanded, her face coloured with strange emotions, ones I cannot put together what they meant. 

What? Was she pissed that she is not the one, who is seek out by them? Is she jealous that she is not the one, who stirs this kind of desire from those powerful males? 

A little reality check for her I guess. It will serve her well.

"Very obviously because Rhysie would cut theirs dicks if they did?" Cass shoot back, without any hesitation, leaving us no opportunity to stop him from finishing this dman sentence. 

"And why would he care?" She straightened her spine and she looked at Cassian with demanding look. 

"Are you kidding me? Why would he care? Feyre, he -" Cassian opened that big mouth of his once again, but Rhys stopped him.

"We are getting away from the point of this conversation," Rhys snapped, his voice tight. "Azriel and Y/n are going to Autumn today, I will see you both before you go, we need to clear some things up." 

When he said meet you both, his eyes were glued on me. It was clear message that he will have things to discuss with me. 

Cauldron, I do not have any desire to argue with him before I will be leaving for a mission. It always brought bad amens with it. 

"Well, I don't think any heads up are needed, we can get going right away, right Az?" I turned to look at the shadowsinger, my back turning once again to the pair sitting way too close together. 

I cannot have a fight with him before the mission. There will be no time to make it alright again and I know that once I am away, he will be spending time with Feyre. It would keep eating me alive. The whole damn time when I am supposed to focus, he will be all I could think about and that means trouble. 

Distraction during mission equal problems. Always. 

I would see them together, just like in my nightmares, where he holds her so close to himself, the way he used to hold me. He would whisper sweet words into her ear, while tracing his hands across her body, making her giggle. He would promise her a future, that once was supposed to be ours. He would tell her about his dreams to have family of his own. How he dreamed for centuries about starting a family with his girl after the world will calm down a bit. 

No. I cannot do this and so I gave Azriel a pleading look, hoping he will once again back me up. 

"Of course, we will report once we know something," Az replied right away, walking towards me, gently taking my elbow into his arms. "Do not worry, I will make sure Eris does not misbehave way too much." 

With that, he let his shadows swipe us away from the kitchen. It was a good thing that his little secret of being about to trespass the wards set upon the House of Winds, blew up a few months ago. It allowed him to simply take us away without leaving any space for more pointless chatting and arguing from Rhys.

Tag-List: @sillyfreakfanparty @zou-rs @sttvrdustt @daughterofthemoons-stuff @stonerpersona @j-pendragonx @barb00235 @booksbypisces @thelov3lybookworm @darkbloodsly

[gibsongirled]

https://www.tumblr.com/gibsongirled/759851498892050432/headcanons-of-schlatt-x-reader-as-a-guest-on?source=share

I need more of this it is so cute

being on chuckle sandwich headcanons !!

a/n: part two to this !!

you sometimes appear in the background of some episodes

ted calls you out when he sees you

it's like where's waldo, but chuckle sandwich version

schlatt posts cryptic images of you randomly at odd times

internet sleuths find the only two solo pictures of you that weren't privated

and of course it was on facebook

it was so clear that you weren't a streamer and weren't that involved online

episodes that featured you were chaotic

you'd say the most random shit and leave the men stunned

and then crack yourself up after saying them

because you know that you're hilarious

schlatt's the only person who can actually keep up with you tbh

on the episodes that you do not appear, you send schlatt texts that he's supposed to read out

he cannot get through the first word without laughing his ass off

commenters spam for you when you're not on the episode

you probably managed to appear in three episodes in the entire year tbh

and that's not including the background appearances

[xxcallmemaryxx]

I’d love a sweet II X reader of him playing with readers hair if you don’t mind :)

He’s sweet and horny. I can’t control him it’s just how he is.

II x GN reader.

Under the cut~ <3 <3

“You have five minutes.”

You almost jump out of your skin from where you lounge on the couch. Your head snaps over to ii, already watching you. Had you not just been daydreaming about him, you might have been able to process this better, but it’s slightly alarming when he looks at you like he already knows exactly what you were thinking about.

“Huh?”

Is all you manage to get out. Your brain not able to catch up quick enough.

“You. You have five minutes.”

He repeats. He sticks his hand out and shows you five fingers, for extra effect. Then he juts his thumb out behind him, pointing down the hall.

“Get what you need and then get your ass in that bed.”

Your eyes follow where he’s pointing, your bedroom obviously being at the end of it. You pin him with a distant look, trying to piece together what the hell has gotten into him. But clearly your lack of action isn’t good enough for him.

“ii, what the fuck are you-“

“Five.”

He’s staring right through you. It’s like he can see and feel every single thought you have about him.

“Yeah I got it. Five minutes-“

“Four.”

He cuts you off again. Unmoving from where he stands.

“What are you-“

“Three.”

Oh yeah. Okay. That kicks your ass into gear. You’re up from where you were laying and you’re moving across the room before he can get the next number out. He watches you move. His lips quirked up just enough to give away his amusement. You pass by him as you move to the kitchen, even after all this time there’s still a little part of you that gets nervous around him.

He knows it. He likes it.

He lands a soft smack to your ass as you pass him. Never would he ever pass up the chance to get his hands on you whenever he can. Really, at this point, you’d be quite shocked if he didn’t.

You don’t even know what you’re preparing for. You assume he’s got something planned, and if history has taught you anything, you know a bottle of water and something easy to eat are musts when it comes to being in bed with ii. You grab what you can, getting some things for him too. You fill up your big water bottle, throw some ice cubes in it and make sure the lid is on tight. You scoop it up and walk towards your bedroom, ii having already made his way there. You walk in on him stripping his shirt off and leaving himself in boxers. The bedsheets already pulled back a little bit. The sound of you depositing the things you grabbed on your bedside table catches his attention. He eyes the things you got and a little laugh leaves him at your selection. Your eyes meet and he gives you a small smile.

“Relax. You won’t even need those.”

He says to you softly, coming around to where you stand and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“But I thought we were…”

You trail off, gesturing to the bed in an attempt to awkwardly tell him you assumed you were about to get your life ruined. His lips quirk again, this time a bit closer to a smile.

“Not quite. Maybe tonight.”

He says as he pulls away from you, choosing to stay cryptic. He leaves you standing there, less nervous than when you walked in but still extremely unsure about what the hell he wants right now. You try not to let his implication for his later plans get to you, but he reads you like a book.

“Stop it. Don’t think about that right now. Get undressed and get into bed. Don’t make me count you down again.”

His soft smile is like a drug, you want more of it every time you get it. You strip down to your underwear, matching ii, and you both get into bed together. The sheets are clean. He’s just got done remaking the bed, you can’t help the happy groan that slips from you when you realise. You sink further under the blankets and breathe them in. The sigh of pure comfort tells ii everything he needs to know.

“It’s nice, huh?”

He asks you, his voice so soft as he watches you with his own happy smile.

“So nice… I love clean sheets…”

This pulls a little laugh from him. He lets you enjoy the feeling for a few moments longer while he shuffles around to get himself comfortable.

“Alright. It’s my turn now.”

He mumbles to you, opening his arms for you to slot yourself into. His body is warm, his skin soft. He smells like him. It’s perfect. You take no shame in breathing him in. Pressing your nose into his neck and audibly enjoying every part of him.

His arms wrap around you, but instead of holding you like he normally does, this time they end up in your hair. His thick fingers digging into your scalp and dragging through the strands of hair he can get his fingers through. ii has strong fingers, after drumming for so long sometimes he forgets his own strength, but this is perfect.

So much so that it pulls a slightly surprised sound from you.

“This alright? Been thinking about doing this all day.”

He admits quietly, his hands still buried deep in your hair.

“Fuck, ii…”

Is the only response he gets. A delighted groan.

“Hmmm, I’ll take that as a yes…”

I murmurs into your hairline, leaving a soft kiss there.

“You were thinking about this? My hair?”

You ask him as best you can without slurring your words to an embarrassing level.

“Mhm, it looks so soft today. Smells different too. You use something new?”

He asks you, his nose still buried in your hairline, taking a good whiff of you just as you did to him.

“It’s your stuff… I ran out…”

You admit to him with a little smile pressed into his chest. You didn’t think he’d notice so fast. Figured you’d be able to get away with a wash or two with his shampoo and conditioner before getting new bottles of your own. Apparently you were absolutely stupid for assuming that.

“Fuck that’s what it is… you smell like me. I couldn’t figure it out.”

This time he takes a much deeper whiff of your hair, humming to himself, pleased with this revelation.

His fingers are still playing with your hair. Tangling them up in the strands and then digging his fingertips into your scalp just enough to turn your brain to mush every time he does it.

“Hope you don’t mind… didn’t think you’d clock it so soon.”

“Love, I notice the second you do something different. I noticed it the moment you stepped out of the shower this morning. You can’t hide anything from me.”

You can hear the smile in his voice again, either proud of himself for knowing you so well he’s able to pick up on the smallest of differences. Or, just amused that you thought you could hide anything from him at all. No matter the size.

“If you weren’t actively massaging my brain I might’ve been slightly terrified… or turned on… not sure yet…”

He huffs a soft laugh into your hairline, pleased that you’re enjoying this moment with him. He watches the way his hands card through your hair, loving the way it looks all wrapped up around his fingers.

“I can make you both at the same time, you know this.”

He says things like this so nonchalantly, it drives you nuts.

“You need to be neutered.”

You mumble into his chest, silently glad he’s unable to see the way your face undoubtedly turns red.

“No… I just need my love.”

He mumbles sappily, leaving little kisses along your hairline again. It sounds innocent enough but you know that not so deep down he’s having incredibly impure thoughts.

“Focus on the task at hand, hotshot.”

He smiles into your forehead. Tugging just slightly harder on a handful of hair than he has been. A warning.

He keeps a mental note to remind you to stop buying shampoo and conditioner. His one suits you much better. It suits him too. You smell like him. He’s beyond fucking delighted. This scratches an itch so deep in his brain. He can’t even try to explain just how much he loves it. Maybe just about as much as you love clean bedsheets.

.

.

.

Love you guys thank you for reading.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi there, what's your take on Lupin's atitude towards Harry and their relationship

I think that the scene at Grimmauld Place, on deathly hallows is a very cathartic one. Harry is seeing one of his last father figures fall from a pedestal, and for me Harry acted on the right here, what do you think?

Like, their relationship is one that I'm a little weird about. Like, I'm not a big fan of Lupin, as I mentioned here. And I kinda hate when fanon treats him like Harry's cool uncle or similar to Sirius in his treatment of Harry. That is so not the case with Lupin. Like, Lupin is an expert at messing his social life up, so any relationship he's part of can't be simple.

I saw another post once that stated that it's telling that Harry calls the Mauraders: James, Sirius, Lupin, and Wormtail in his head, and yes, that is telling. The fact he keeps calling him Lupin even after Lupin makes him his son's godfather is telling regarding their emotional closeness — or lack thereof.

Harry doesn't trust Lupin the way he trusted Sirius. During 3rd year, he's the one pressing Lupin and chasing him to teach him the Patronus Charm. Lupin never mentions, in all their interactions that he knew Harry's parents. In the movies, Lupin was much more paternal towards Harry than in the books. Book Lupin is having a mental breakdown every time he looks at Harry and sees his dead friend. He lives in a constant state of guilt and I think, in book 3 he has no idea how to even approach Harry and this topic since he knows it'll bring up uncomfortable questions such as: "Where were you for 12 years?" along with digging up memories of his past that Lupin doesn't seem interested in reminiscing about until Sirius forces him to.

“All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I’d betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I’d led others along with me . . . and Dumbledore’s trust has meant everything to me.

(PoA, 356)

He says the above regarding Sirius, but the same is true for anything else in his life. Especially when it comes to his treatment of Harry. He wants to reach out, he wants to say something, but then he gets stuck wondering if he should and ends up not doing anything. He chickens out, basically.

Then Lupin disappears for, like, the entirety of book 4. Harry's in a death tournament? well, Lupin doesn't seem to care. Like, I think he does care, in a general sort of way, but he got wrapped in his own guilt and indecision that he just never makes an appearance. He probably convinced himself Harry would be worse off if Remus was there because that's what he does. He made joint appearances with Sirius and the Order in book 5, where he's clearly saying everything he needs to say to please as many people as possible because he wants to be liked. I do want to note this scene from book 5 that I feel is overlooked:

“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.

(OotP, 54)

I hate this passage so much, you don't even know. Like, in my most recent reread of OotP once I read this line I closed the book and took a month-long break from my reread. Like, reading this is chewing glass for me. Because the only question on my mind is: "How could you, Remus?"

Like, I just can't imagine having an ex-student of yours, or even worse, the son of your dead best friend, tell you they don't want to go back home, that their relatives would rather they won't be safe — and all you do is give a cryptic half-assed smile.

Like, if we go with the most generous interpretation of Lupin's character, we can say he does feel awful about it but he, again, is trapped in his own indecision. Dumbledore gave him orders, and according to them Harry must return to the Dursleys, but he also cares about Hary's well-being in a vague sort of way. So, that smile we see here is Lupin trying to be reassuring through his guilt and failing miserably.

Then, of course, we can go with less favorable interpretations of how he, like many other characters, is a product of his society and upbringing. The Wizarding World doesn't really have the concept of social care and they don't really see abuse the way we do. That he honestly thinks Harry is speaking in hyperbole and is smiling because he thinks Harry's being dramatic like James used to be.

I think the truth is somewhere in between these two options, tbh.

Then he has his romance with Tonks, but Harry isn't really privy to most of it and it doesn't really concern him.

Then, we get to book 7 and that scene you mentioned.

Now, obviously, I think Harry is in the right. I think Lupin is, once again, being an indecisive cowered. Something he is very aware of. I think Harry is right in calling him out, although, perhaps it could have been done better. Both Harry and Lupin lost their tempers a bit during this scene and it shows. But, still, Harry is right about everything he says and Lupin knows this. That's why he gets angry enough to actually attack Harry. Because he has no way to argue against the truth.

“Tonks is going to have a baby.” “Oh, how wonderful!” squealed Hermione. “Excellent!” said Ron enthusiastically. “Congratulations,” said Harry. Lupin gave an artificial smile that was more like a grimace, then said, “So . . . do you accept my offer? Will three become four? [...] “Just—just to be clear,” he said. “You want to leave Tonks at her parents’ house and come away with us?” “She’ll be perfectly safe there, they’ll look after her,” said Lupin. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. “Harry, I’m sure James would have wanted me to stick with you.” “Well,” said Harry slowly, “I’m not. I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually.” Lupin’s face drained of color. [...] “You don’t understand,” said Lupin at last. “Explain, then,” said Harry. Lupin swallowed. “I-I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since.” “I see,” said Harry, “so you’re just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?” Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face. “Don’t you understand what I’ve done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I’ve made her an outcast!” Lupin kicked aside the chair he had overturned.

(DH, 184)

He knows Harry is right, but he also truly believes marrying Tonks was a mistake for how she and the yet unborn Teddy would have to live their lives with him being a werewolf. He feels guilty and awful and he's trying to do here what Lupin always does — run away from his problems. Except, in the above scene, Harry doesn't let him have a pretty excuse for running off. Because when Lupin runs from his issues, he always makes sure to have an excuse. Somehow the excuse is always: "I'm a werewolf, and I'll make everything worse". I mean, he quit being the DADA teacher before they could fire him. All he does is run before the other shoe drops. Because Lupin is convinced the shoe is there. He lived all his life with this constant fear. The moment Lupin sniffs an uncertain situation he bolts in the other direction.

Like, I know some call Pettigrew the cowardly Maruader, but, really, it's been Lupin all along. (Peter is also a coward, but a very different flavor of coward).

And I think, later in book 7, when Lupin makes Harry Teddy's godfather, that's his way of apologizing for the past 16 years. He's apologizing to Harry for wanting to run away from Tonks, (and Harry, and everything else). This decision is a sort of 'thank you' to Harry for convincing him to stick around and not be a coward for once in his life, and it turned out good. It's also a decision that basically promises Harry Lupin isn't going to disappear from his life again. That, to me, was Lupin's character development and apology. It's him saying he's stopping with his guilt-ridden indecision and that he is settling down. He isn't running anymore and he wants Harry as part of his and his son's lives.

But, we didn't really get to see that happen, if he'll really stick to it or run away again because he died.

[zutarawasrobbed]

ALTA Live Action Season 1 Initial Thoughts (Spoilers)

I just finished the season, and holy shit!

Quick things that need to be addressed/debunked:

“Sokka is no longer sexist”

I dont know what people were talking about when they talked about Sokka’s “sexism” being removed. It’s still there! But not in the overly exaggerated comical way it was in the original.

In fact, it’s more in line with ancient practices of indigenous tribes where men are seen as protectors and providers while women are expected to nurture. It’s not the same “boys are better than girls” narrative in the original.

Additionally, Suki still beats the fuck out of Sokka and humbled him really quick. They’re super cute by the way. And I love Suki’s “I like my men a little stupid” vibe. She’s great.

“Aang doesn’t run away like the original!”

That is not true. He does run away, but not because he’s trying to get away from the temple but instead to get some air because he feels overwhelmed. He’s more like taking a quick break and planning to come back. It’s not exactly the same, but almost. It also is done in a way where his guilt feels more justified.

“Katara doesn’t talk about her mom anymore like the original”

This is true… BECAUSE THEY SHOW INSTEAD OF TELL. I was honestly not prepared to see the death Kya in such graphic detail and how Katara was in the room hiding when it happened. It’s honestly really sad and more heartbreaking.

Plot:

The timeline seems to be ambiguous compared to the original series where it was “end of current year.” In fact, they repeat “three years” a few times, which makes me think if the series get greenlit for more seasons, it would be over a three year period.

Jet is still villainized but given more nuance and not a simple "good v bad" way like the original.

Zuko’s story about how he got his scar has additional lore that makes him come across as even more selfless and compassionate. The additional context of the platoon he advocated for in the war meeting, becoming his current crew, really added to the story.

Eradicated the nepotism baby plot point with Pakku only training Katara when he finds out he used to date her grandma. Instead, Katara proves herself and ends up teaching the other male fighters the techniques she learned from watching other benders use their elements and mimics them.

This season doesn’t have Aang learning any waterbending, but rather facing his trauma and the consequences of his actions. He get roasted by all his past lives. Which is an interesting choice, but I think it works well in how they executed it.

This season seems to actually be Katara focused and her journey of learning waterbending which I honestly loved because it really hits home the element of “water” being the story of an untrained waterbender learning her element. But, I do think Aang could’ve learned a little bending. It felt a little off.

Katara ends up advocating for all waterbending women and ends up leading an army of both men and women during the siege. She’s really bad ass and is given the title of master without being formally trained by Pakku. She made herself a master.

I think the timeline is a little wonky because of how much they had to fit in with the limited episodes they had.

Kuruk is given respect! I loved that.

June actually seems into Iroh which I thought was a funny but cool way to flip the script from the original.

The relationship between Zuko and Iroh is really beautifully executed. I love the depth they added with flashback scenes and their bond prior to the Agni Kai. It also wasn’t as frustrating watching Iroh and Zuko’s dynamic because Iroh communicated with Zuko in a way he could understand with straight answers rather than seeming to actively sabotage him with cryptic puns and shenanigans like the original.

They changed the love triangle with Yue Hahn and Sokka to be very healthy. They gave Yue autonomy and a choice in her relationship- which- again- is much more in line with indigenous cultures. Also, Hahn and Sokka’s relationship is really supportive and full of respect and no ill will.

They way they handled grief and the realities of war with the loss of life was very well done and really drove home the point that this is a war and these are child soldiers.

There’s a lot more but these are my initial thoughts. Will probably post more later.

Shipping:

Kataang is all but removed. Literally DOA. There is no indication of a crust on either side. It’s painted like a sibling relationship, which is like the original, but this time everyone seems to be on the same page. But, I swear the writers had to have read ZK fics because damn.

They canonized a popular Zutara theory/hc about the cave of two lovers and how the crystals would light up once it went completely dark instead of a “kiss” activating the crystal glow.

Speaking of the Cave of two lovers. They keep the Oma and Shu story with red and blue coloring. Making it come across more as foreshadowing than a direct link to the present tunnel story.

Sokka is put in Aang’s place with Katara in the tunnels and turned it into a story about the love of family and sibling bonds. Aang wasn’t even present.

Zuko and Katara share a meaningful look when they first see each other and continue to have a Katara centric scene followed by a Zuko centric scene and vice versa.

The scarf scene. I will not be elaborating further. If you know, you know.

Zuko and Katara fight scene in the North is epic. He still taunts her with almost the exact same dialogue but it’s so sassy- I love the banter.

Suki and Sokka were really cute and the actors had great chemistry. I think Yue and Sokka was really rushed and didn’t really feel anything about them, honestly. But I attribute that to lack of episodes to develop all that plot.

[snorlaxlovesme]

alright everybody, it's time we talked about Hostage. (buckle up because this is going to be long, but it'll be worth it)

season 2 episode 8 of Link Click was one of the most confounding episodes in the entire season while airing. starting with Lu Guang's insane boat crash/martial arts smackdown rescue of Cheng Xiaoshi and ending with Cheng Xiaoshi diving into a photo to possess Lu Guang to get answers for his actions, from start to finish it was a wild ass ride where we, the fandom, AND the characters spent the whole time questioning Lu Guang and his motives

and...puzzlingly... didn't really get an answers by the end of the season

Lu Guang wasn't granted any post-climax time to explain what happened that day from his perspective, and while Cheng Xiaoshi was possessing him he didn't get any answers because he literally WAS Lu Guang, just doing whatever the hell he thought he needed to do.

the thing about Hostage that has always felt extremely off to me, is that we DO get explanations for Lu Guang's actions during the episode, but they're from people wholly unqualified to be giving them.

Captain Xiao finds Lu Guang's phone, hidden in a folded towel, and concludes that Lu Guang had left them clues. Qiao Ling, after seeing that Lu Guang had taken a photo that night, came to the conclusion that Cheng Xiaoshi must have been the one possessing Lu Guang during his deranged rescue plan at the pier, seeing as Lu Guang wasn't an adept fighter at the dojo and he was acting extremely impulsive. She even goes so far to say, later in the episode, that Cheng Xiaoshi HAS to dive into the photo, because it's already happened, and needs to follow Lu Guang's words to not change the timeline.

all of these assumptions, to me, are horseshit

I refuse to listen to ANYTHING Captain Xiao says. one, because he simply does not know these kids and should not be making assumptions about them, and two he is in fact the worst cop in the world. and Qiao Ling, bless her heart, has only found out how their powers work mere DAYS ago and doesn't understand the nuances of them at all

so I'm gonna debunk all that nonsense and explain to you what Lu Guang's REAL actions were that night, and what was up with that cryptic photo he took

now you might be thinking, Kelly, you're not even starting in the right place, because those weren't Lu Guang's actions, they were always Cheng Xiaoshi's, just in Lu Guang's body!

FALSE. on two counts! we have evidence of Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi performing the act of escaping the hospital differently. Lu Guang does not use the kettle to break the window to distract the cops. we're not sure what he uses, but that kettle is still there.

Lu Guang also places his phone face down in the towel

while Cheng Xiaoshi places it faceup

so by the end of the episode we have literal, physical evidence that these two performed this timeline differently, and therefore it was not "Cheng Xiaoshi the whole time" like Qiao Ling tried to misinform us to believe. i also have another Big Brain post [x] that explains why Lu Guang being an impulsive, supposedly "good" fighter during that pier rescue scene are both in-character for him.

(and if we wanna get really nitpicky about how an injured Lu Guang could have raced across town in his condition, i simply believe that Lu Guang was smarter about it that Cheng Xiaoshi, and probably took a bus or cab. Cheng Xiaoshi, pure of heart and dumb of ass, ran because HE physically could while inhabiting Lu Guang's body. our injured catboy did not sprint across town while holding his organs in place)

so if we already have all this cold, hard evidence stating that Lu Guang really is THAT bitch and did all that shit on his own, what the hell is my problem? why can I not let this episode go?

BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW WHY LU GUANG TOOK THAT PHOTO

Captain Useless seems to think that Lu Guang took that photo as some sort of helpful clue left behind for the gang

but what, pray tell, was this photo supposed to tell us without someone with Lu Guang's powers there to interpret it? without Lu Guang to tell him what to do, Cheng Xiaoshi left to his own devices knows just as much as himself as he does possessing Lu Guang

and, the bigger question, is if this was supposed to be some sort of almighty clue for the gang, why did he not text this photo to either Qiao Ling or Cheng Xiaoshi before escaping the hospital? he took the time to text Qiao Ling the location of the boat, did he not? why not the photo too? seems like a crappy way to clue someone in, to take a photo and save it on your password protected phone that you just went out of your way to hide from plain sight

because that's the thing! after the season finale we discover that Lu Guang's password is literally a reminder of his dive, or even more specifically, a reminder of his trauma. we KNOW that he didn't share his password with Cheng Xiaoshi, he just just happened to figure it out on his own

so tell me how Lu Guang expected this trauma-password protected phone, with it's one singular picture, to get in the hands of Cheng Xiaoshi, hmm? riddle me THAT

so we've established by now that 1. Lu Guang's actions in the beginning of episode 8 were indeed his own and 2. that photo was never meant to be seen by Cheng Xiaoshi, who shouldn't have known Lu Guang's passcode

given the trauma-passcode, we have to believe that the only person ever meant to see this photo was Lu Guang. i've made ANOTHER post previously [x] stating that Lu Guang might have used his powers in a way we haven't known possible, by taking a photo and using his Blue Eyes White Dragon powers to see 12 hours into the immediate future

plausible, but not what i'm about to propose now.

because I think Lu Guang took that photo as a contingency plan

listen, the only person who had ANY credentials to theorize what Lu Guang was up to that night was his trusted partner. while Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao spouted their nonsense theories, Cheng Xiaoshi said the only smart thing that entire brainstorming session

and I think Cheng Xiaoshi was right. he wasn't wrong in assuming this photo was a Save Point of sorts, the only thing he was wrong about was who would be using it

the only other person in this show capable of diving into a photo, we find out during the finale, is Lu Guang

we also find out in the finale that powers are transferrable, and it looks like they transfer when the owner of that power dies in someone else's arms

Lu Guang took that photo that night NOT for Cheng Xiaoshi to find and use, but for LU GUANG himself to use. i believe Lu Guang firmly believed that Cheng Xiaoshi was to die that night, and he would do everything in his power to make sure he had a chance to change it again if he needed to.

that meant:

1.taking a photo on his phone as a Save Point.

2. hiding his phone in the hospital bathroom so it could not be taken from him or busted later in the night. and

3. racing to where he knew Cheng Xiaoshi would be, so he could either

4. a.) rescue him, or b.) ensure that during CXS's death, the diving power was transferred back to him so he could do the night over again.

Lu Guang took that photo as contingency plan to save Cheng Xiaoshi's life should he get killed that night.

but that plan was botched when Cheng Xiaoshi used it instead to possess Lu Guang, because each photo can only be used once.

which might also explain why Lu Guang was SO DISTRAUGHT when Cheng Xiaoshi was shot

they had deleted all their photos earlier that week to prevent the twins from possessing them remotely

that was the last photo Lu Guang had taken. the ONLY photo on his phone. if Cheng Xiaoshi died that night, there would have been no Save Point to return to

[strawberryama]

His balls are huge. I can feel it in my soul!!

i say this too much so here we are besties

content : fem!reader x rook, ball sucking, public sex, library sex, cum swallowing, slight shoe humping mentions

18+ Minors dni!!!

“I can’t believe I’m even asking this…but do tell, how are you undoubtedly certain?”

“I just know it. I have that kind of sense, ya know?”

Cater could only roll his eyes. There was no way this conversation was happening right now. In front of his lunch no less. Thank god lunch was nearly over, cause he couldn’t eat anymore. Not after hearing about how _______ was dead certain her crush, the vice housewarden of Pomefiore, had huge breeder balls. He didn’t even want to think about that guy naked. Yet, this was the current lunch topic, as Trey was busy this afternoon.

“That’s…great. Can I please eat in peace?”

______ turned to her friend, watermelon chunk on her fork. She’d been eating this entire time. It was as if the conversation topic was just something as casual as homework answers to her. She completely unphased. ______ bit down on the watermelon, shrugging to the guy before her.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Cater groaned.

“What?!”

“Nothing. Just forget it! I’m going to the library for study hall, early.”

“I’ll come with then!”

Cater only groaned once more as he stood up, grabbing his tray. “If you’re coming, then no more nasty discussion, ‘kay? I gotta study or Riddle’ll kill me.”

“Aye, aye!”

-

-

-

______ stayed true to her word. She even was actively studying alongside of Cater. She went looking for a book though, deep in the stacks. Sometimes potions class was a pain in the butt. There were so many cryptic ingredients that she knew next to nothing about.

The only issue was every damn book that explained those ingredients was up on the highest shelf. God forbid this school have accessible shelves. No, ofc ourse, they need to have six foot and then some tall shelves.

As she reached and stretched the best she could, she felt a broad, strong mass press into her. A hand came up, gracefully pulling the book she required from the shelf.

“Here you are,” mused a voice.

______turned to look over her shoulder, and none other than Rook Hunt stood there, pressed into her. He didn’t back up at all. Rook grinned down to ______, his free hand coming to grab her waist, rooting her there.

“Madame, how good to see you!~”

“You too, Rook,” she sheepishly smiled. She could feel her cheeks burning. Fuck. He was hot. His eyes pierced right through her like an arrow.

“You know, a lil birdie told me something.”

“O-Oh yeah?”

“You have a hypothesis about a specific part of my body is what I heard at lunch.”

“I!”

“It’s okay. You’re more than welcome to find out.”

At this, ______ felt something long and hard press into her ass. She was burning up and she was growing wet. She was going to get to see the Rook Hunt’s cock and fat, fat balls. She wasdrooling at the thought.

“May I?” she asked all too eager.

“Please, go right ahead”

-

-

-

Her eyes rolled right back into her head as she sucked on his fat balls. They felt sooo good in her mouth. She drooled all over them, salivating at the heady scent and taste she consumed. ______ could barely even stifle the obscene noises that she made. Let alone, the moan that she let out about the testicle that filled her mouth.

“Good girl,” Rook drawled. His hand grabbed a fistful of ______’s hair, pulling her in further, causing her to gag.

______ was thoroughly enjoying herself now. Her pussy smeared its juice all over Rook’s boot as she rubbed her clit desperate for any friction. Spit was dribbling down her chin. She was in ecstasy. A true dream. Finally, a pair of huge, fat balls full of hot, white cum. And they were all her’s. No one else’s.

Rook threw back his head against the bookshelf, hat dropping from his head. She was good at this, far better than he’d imagined she’d be when he overheard her at lunch. And the absolute messy display of a whore before him was hotter than hell. In fact, Rook may have just found his new favorite toy. And it was better than bothering that prefect of Savanaclaw could ever be.

Rook’s balls began tightening and he bucked into ______ more fervently than before. Her hand reached up, gently teasing at the head of Rook’s fat cock, urging it to cum all over her. Her thumb circled about the slit in his cock, spreading the precum that leaked out. All the while, her hand rubbed and squeezed what she could reach, daring Rook to let go. Daring him to cum and make a mess just for her.

Through hooded, lust fulled eyes, Rook saw the devious wanton look in ______’s eyes. God, she’s a goddess, he could only think. He yanked her off of his pulsating balls, posing his cock’s head before her lips before she could whine in complaint.

“Princeese, take it nice and deep,” he commanded in a shaky breath. But ______ didn’t need any instructions. Rook barely finished his sentence, before ______ began to suck on the tip of his cock.

She moaned, teasing him, with each inch she’d swallow up. Her tight throat constricted about Rook’s sensitive cock.

He couldn’t hold out any longer. His grip on her hair tightened, burying the last few centimeters of his cock in ______’s mouth. With a deep grunt, Rook keeled in on himself, shooting hot cum down ______’s throat. Those emerald eyes rolled back as he stifled a groan, his cock scraping against her uvula.

But ______ didn’t even flinch. She drank every drop of his hot salty cum, a dazed grin forming as she pulled herself off him. ______ gently licked off any remaining cum that dared to escape before grinning up at him mischievously.

“It seems my hypothesis was correct,” she snickered, placing his fallen hat upon her head.

[meiguicha]

AITA for complimenting my colleague - Final Update

Blade x Fem!Reader- Reddit exists AU

lol would love to do a tifu with someone else after this

Original Post - Update 1

r/AmItheAsshole ~ 3 system hr. ago

easternskiesonamoonlitnight

Great news, I'm not dead. Dao did not in fact take me to some secluded star system to put me down.

Bad news, I am very, very sore.

Tldr for those with ass reading ; my colleague and I guess now partner, was somehow under the impression that the both of us have been in a relationship since the day I kissed him. Apparently none of my other colleagues except for Franz were aware of this and just thought I was being shy about our new relationship.

The really cryptic note and telling me to get ready was apparently everyone's combined attempt to get the both of us to go on a proper date. At the time, I yapped Dao's ears off out of anxiety and maybe in hopes that he'd change his mind about killing me. I remember eventually shutting up when I realised he was staring at me. And I guess he didn't really like the lack of yapping so he just asked why I wasn't talking and then everything just kind of happened...?

Yeah, uhm. Not great telling a person you're both afraid of and attracted to that you're about 90% sure he's going to turn you into a human hedgehog. Also maybe not great accidentally mentioning your sexual awakening in that alley.

Basically, Dao thought that the both of us were already in a relationship and that everything leading up to that day was just some cat-and-mouse that was confirmed with my kiss. And since Franz was too amused to say otherwise and the other two were equally in the dark, the whole charade just played on.

And to the person who asked about our boss, he does not care what kind of drama happens so. He's just here to enjoy the show.

Anyways, alls well ends well. I'm currently in the middle of another task and it's definitely way less stressful than that one. We're resting and just about done with the icky grimey physically painful bits, so we're just taking it easy now. Dao is finally knocked out next to me after maybe 6 days (???) of no sleep so that's great. The only problem is that I think he's crushing my lungs so note to self, go to the gym because wow is he heavy.

On the bright side, we're saving way more money now since we only have to get one room, and one bed.

Also Grey Dog has found my posts, so if you see this, please tell Glow worm that I'll handle our laundry when we return so don't worry about it. Or you can just send this post to her, I don't care.

SnowyRaven__ ~ 1 system hr. ago ~ Got my hopes up with that second paragraph, I thought op was going to tell us she got her guts rearranged by dao user0763013 ~ 1 system hr. ago ~ HELLO??????????

Theyearspasson ~ 3 system hr. ago ~ can someone tag quietondeck, i need to see their reaction to this neow

TileGamer4ever ~ 2 system hr. ago ~ OP, you should've listened to me smh. easternskiesonamoonlitnight OP ~ 9 system hr.ago ~ You're right but to be fair, I'm stupid

GalacticBaseballer069 ~ 3 system hr. ago ~ OP IM BEGGING ILL LICK THE TOILETS CLEAN ILL TAKE OUT THE TRASH PLEASE TAKE ME IN