#I NEED SOMEONE TO WRITE ABT THIS UGHHHH

[sunflower-daisyfields]

I rly need someone to make a pirate!eren x reader fanfic where eren is like rly feared and like the best pirate idk. It's practically js the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie but insted y/n is a cleaning maid on a ship that eren and his crew attacked but then eren keeps Y/n alive because he wants her as his privte maid or smth idk much abt pirates but then (smutty part) and then eren sets Y/n free and Y/n ends up getting pregnant with eren's kid and like after the baby is born (arround 3 months or smth) eren attack the place where Y/n is not knowing that she is there and like jean or someone finds her and brings her to eren and long story short eren likes the kid and is compleatly love struck yadda yadda and they raise the kid on the ship and Y/n stays with eren but he doesn't rly pirate anymore and kinda js live a nice life on the sea. The kid is such a daddys girl/boy. we all know pirate eren has the hobo ereh look.

[narugen-moved]

can i be negative i’m going to be negative in tags

[anachilles]

ever since i saw Elvis when it came out I’ve been absolutely obsessed with the soundtrack lol. I saw your post about the fact that u had been listening to the soundtrack lately and i jumped on the opportunity to talk abt this to someone lol. “Trouble” was my fave and I can’t get over the fact that Austin sings it himself. He has such a nice singing voice. It’s truly a shame he doesn’t sing. I’d love to hear him sing as himself once haha. Relating back to ur post abt Gale having a nice voice and singing for John sometimes, i can just imagine him singing elvis songs like cant help falling in love or love me and UGHHHH ITS SO SWEET TO THINK ABT i need someone to explore this in a fic or sth haha. Anyway sorry for the long yapping love ur blog and ur writing sm🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

hellooooo!!

ahhhh, i know how you feel! i've been sort of listening to it on and off since the weekend, but had it playing for a while in the background while i was doing some household chores. trouble is def a standout - baby let's play house as well (the electric guitar break is funnn). other than austin tho, it's such a cool, eclectic mix of artists featured as well!

i was a fan of maneskin anyway, so i'm a big fan of their cover of if i can dream.

but yeah, totally agree about needing to hear more of austin's singing.

in terms of gale, absolutely YES someone pls explore this.

i'm not sure if you've read it (if you haven't you should; i'll never be done singing its praises lol) but in @rambleonwaywardson's astronaut AU, can't help falling in love is the boys' first dance song. i won't spoil the full plot or the twists, but long story short my heart would short-circuit if the song came back in some way and gale sang, or even just hummed it, to bucky in the next couple of chapters.

thanks so much for the love, anon! 🫶

[its-all-papaya]

oh no don't feel bad about not being able to update before spa!! writing should always be a way to let creativity flow, not make you cry! love your writing but don't let yourself be pressured by thinking you're disappointing someone. i'm looking forward to the sequel and tbh i'd rather read it knowing you're happy and satisfied with it, than unhappy, stressed and rushed. take all the time you need!! plus f1 summer break is coming, so whenever you're ready!! we'll be happy!! sending you a hug!! (if you want one) can i get one more snippet for the word game? maybe there's "think" in there? <3

"maybe there's 'think' in there" plz :,)

if there's one thing about anybody, nowhere lando, that boy is THINKIN. so far (~3.2k of stuff I don't despise) "think" is in there 29 times + six "thought"s just for fun. I picked my favorites for you <3

It’s bargaining when he speaks again. He thinks of grief and wants to laugh at the irony.

and

If he was a better man, his vision would blur with the intensity of the thought; he can think of Oscar now, or he can think of Oscar every time he looks at that P1 trophy for the rest of his life.

anyway ughhhh I've spent like 4-5 combined hours trying to decide what to do with the middle of this sequel and I think I'm just stressing myself out now and it's making me forget english. literally all of anybody, nowhere (minus the final part in lando's driver's room) and also the start of AN2 came so easily to me that idk really how to fix this bc I didn't have to fix anything until now. I think (me /handshake/ lando) that once I hit on a structure I like for it, I'll be back in the zone, but it's just taking a bit to get there.

I appreciate your words so much though, and this really does help ♥️ unfortunately the reason I like writing lando is because I am inside his head a bit... which is to say that there's a healthy amount of self-imposed pressure making this whole thing much worse rn. I'll get there with it, I think, but yeah. Perhaps after Spa.

thank you, hug accepted, you're so kind, i'll cry in a good way instead now abt this ask

[chuuyasfanboy]

currently in class, and I have a request to work on later, but I just wanted to share bsd music headcanons... you may notice my music taste is dominated by a certain William woodiam, it's okay guys don't mind that

If you haven't heard these songs listen to them right now they're so bsd coded, I might write fics based off of em someday..

Not nearly as many as I could, if someone requests it I can go back later and make a whole post with even more of em cuz omg

Dazai

Ofc the classic Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY by Will Wood. I like this call this one the Dazai love ballad. "All love starts as a scheme", "Some of the best liars only want the truth", "If I come home baby will you show me your bones". Also, " A selfish book is always open" is SO Beast Dazai coded it's UNREAL.

Speaking of Beast Dazai, Yeah Yeah Yeah (V2) by Jack Conte. "I knew it all along", "I felt it in my heart, if theres even one to feel".

And for dark era/15 Era dazai, Haunt Me (x 3) by Teen Suicide is my go to. "I want a lo of friends and a lot of drugs", plus the speech at the end about self esteem guys it's such a vibe too it FEEEEEELS like dazai.

I can probably fit any Will Wood song to Dazai actually...

Chuuya

LEMONS by Brye and Cavetown is SOOOOO angsty one sided skk. Like it feels like chuuya ranting abt how horribly dazai treated him? Such a mood, he listens to it every day.

I also feel like chuuya would listen to jazzy phone? There was one I knew a while ago but I forgot the name but I swear guys it is so vibey.

Also it's so iconic, but those power boost songs. The ones you find in edit audio Playlists yk? The one in mind rn is Taking Over the World by Coyote Theory.

ALSO I can't remember the song, but it's by the Crane Sisters or something? All angsty feeling, and all like fire feeling. I think it's called Curses or smthn? Really good.

Poe

just one thought cuz it came on, but Bugbear by Chloe Moriondo. The music vibe feels a little too modern for him, he's definitely into classical music, but guys it is literally him simping for Ranpo I LOVE this song its cute asf<333 "I feels braindead next to you" ughhhh gay

Odasaku

Advice by Alex G. It feels so angsty and kinda like the vibes of when he dies? As well as Momento Mori by Will Wood just cuz of that same reason </3

Akutagawa

LAPLACE'S ANGEL BY WILL WOOD GUYS. GUYS i love this song. "The only ones in need of love are those who don't receive enough so evil ones should get a little more", "run your diagnostic tests it's positive nobody dies agnostic but we still dial 911", "from up here you look like ants in a row" GYSSSS this song is my favorite.

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHIHI IYAAA SOOOO I JUST CAME BACK FROM HANGING OUT W MY FRIENDSSS AND I DIDNT BUY ANYTHINGG (was gonna spend @ Sephora but ended up reasoning with myself and put everything away YAY ME) BUTTTTTT WE DID END UP WATCHING JOKER 2 SOO IM GONNA RANT ABT IT (to make up for the lost check ins) 😈

HOW WAS WORKK??? HOPE IT WAS VERY SKIBIDIIII!!! TELL ME ABTT IT SIGMA ALPHA IYA🐺💪‼️

I FORGOT IF I SENT MY ACTUALLY DAILY CHECK IN TODAY (I write them in my notes) SO TELL ME IF U DONT SEE IT AND ILL PASTE IT OVER TO TUMBLR (im pretty sure I did but I THINK I FORGOT TO TURN ON ANON SO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DID A BLOG REVEAL KEEP MY IDENTITY A MYSTERY 🤫 BUT TELL ME SO I CAN RESEND MY DAILY ASK) 

OMG I RENTED A POWERBANK AND ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT IT BACK WITH ME… ITS NEARLY 12AM HERE SO I NEED TO GO BACK TMRW (im gonna get charged about like $40 SOMEONE SHOOT ME OMFG) AT LEAST I GET AN EXCUSE TO GO TO THE MALL TMRW THO?? 

ALSOOO I FOUND A STORE HIRING NEAR MY SCHOOLLLL I RLLY WANT TO GET A PART TIME SO I MIGHTTT CONSIDER IT BUT THEN I WOULD NEED TO FIND THE TIME TO ACTUALLY COMMIT IF I DO WANT TO PURSUE ITTTT

OMGROIGOJIOJIR REMEMBER HOW I MENTIONED I WRITE IN MY SLEEP?? TURNS OUT THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.. I FELL ASLEEP WHILE DOING HOMEWORK AND STARTED WRITING ABOUT MY RACE IN MY SLEEP.. AND I DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK IT WHEN I WOKE UP ON MY DESK IN THE MORNING SO I TURNED THAT SHIT IN WITHOUT NOTICING I RANTED ABOUT MY FUCKING RACE ON MY ASSIGNMENT…. MY TEACHER WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED ON WHY I STATED I WASN’T WHITE ON MY PAPER AND TOLD ME THAT THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT OF BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS MENTALLY… THE FACT I HAD TO ADMIT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SLEEP WRITING??? IM GONNA END IT PLEASEEE THATS SO EMBARRASSINMGGGG IT WAS HELLA FUNNY THO.. I WOULD POST THE PICTUJRE BUT I CANT </3 CUS OF ANON *sighs* 

ITSSS SJAPP WEEKENDDDDDD IM SO EXCITED ITLL BE 5AM WHERE I LIVE SO THAT MEANS I GET TO WAKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRRR

SPOILER WARNING FOR JOKER 2 ‼️‼️

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Okay I was a HUGE fan of the first movie which was why I was excited to see the second one with my friends but honestly… IT WAS SO ASSSSS

First, I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE A MUSICAL like I don’t mind musicals, they can be BANGERS and the first few songs were good BUT as the film progressed the songs just felt so unnecessary and awkward👿😭

UGHHHH OMFGGGG IM SOOOOO PISSED ABGT HOW DIRTY THEY DID MISS QUINN IN THE SEQUEL!!!! I LOVE HARLEY QUINN AND GAGA BUT LIKE HER BACKSTORY IN THIS MOVIE AND HER WHOLE PERSONALITY IS NOT ITTTTTT PLUSSS GAGA I LOVE UR VOICE BUT OMFGG I SWEAR THE SINGING WAS TOOOOO EXCESSIVE ARNTRJNSR THEY DID HER SOO DIRTYY.. GAGA WAS ROBBED.. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SOOOO MUCH MORE BUT HER CHARACTER WAS JUST.. BLEH..

HONESTLY IF YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE MUSICAL FACTORS THEN THE MOVIE WOULD FEEL LIKE A 2HR LECTURE… AND THE RUN TIME??? TWO HRS IS INSANE FOR SUCH A PLOT 

THERE WERE NO PLANS OF A SEQUEL AND THEY SHOULD OF KEPTTT IT THAT WAYYY OMGGG THIS WAS SUCH AN OBVIOUS CASHGRAB.. THE FIRST ONE CLEARLY HAD PASSION, THIS ONE WAS JUST FOR MONEY THERES A REASON WHY THE RATING IS SO LOWWWWWW

STILL THO, THE MOVIE HAD GOOD SCENES AND ALL THE ACTORS HAD THEIR MOMENTS  .

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. OKKKK HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA NIGHT!!! SWEET DREAMS I LOVE YOU DAWG 💪🔥

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺

responding to ur most recent ask sent on saturday night hello‼️‼️‼️

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD FUN WITH UR FRIENDS!!! im glad🙂‍↕️ hanging out with ur friends always makes life better even if its for that moment it’s still very much worth it <33 HOORAY FOR REASONABLE SPENDING🎉🎉 u are stronger than me alpha.. sephora and i are in a current battle and i fear she’s winning😰

WORK THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO GOOD!! i worked 4 days in a row all either opening or closing (or both) but they were all good shifts! i’m just very exhausted from this week though like mentally and physically😭 i slept most of the day away yesterday and im just trying to rest up again today because my throat is actually getting worse which KMS.

NO LMFAO UR FINE!! if u do happen to reveal urself don’t worry i’ll keep it a secret 🤫🤫🤐 WHAT? $40 OH MU GOD what the fuck that is SO EXPENSIVE TO RETURN IT i would just keep it at that point.. but atleast it’s another excuse to go to da mall🤗🙂‍↕️ YIPEE! oooo job searching! that’s exciting. though part time is a big commitment just bc you can’t change ur hours once it’s set in place but if you want to apply for it then i say go for it!! as long as u have the time for it 100%!!

OH MY GOD😭😭 NOT ON THE HOMEWORK TOO PLS that actually made me giggle please. don’t worry abt it though i’ve seen worse!! sleep writing is a talent that u should not be embarrassed abt, you’re good‼️🙂‍↕️

IVE HEARD SO MANY BAD REVIEWS ABOUT THE MOVIE LIKE the fact that they break out into song randomly etc😭 i wanted to watch it but the reviews are making me rethink spending $15 on a movie ticket… ill probably not watch it and watch the substance instead (apparently that’s fucked) BUT ILL LYK!!!

THANK YOU ALPHA!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA DAY‼️ ILY🫵🫂

[spandexual]

HELLO! I JUST HEARD THE NEWS. I’m so sorry. I’m taking it well but I’m sorry for bringing it up before trying to distract you : (

Ughhhh, I really don’t have very new things to ask you so what are you planning for genshiro (if it’s secret, don’t tell, ahahah) Does it involve a lot of lollipop sucking, personally I find lollipop-centered fics to be fun /genuinely (I only read two, pain). Lollipops are great, do you have favourite flavour, lolp?

Also maybe any tips on building wardrobe for a person who mostly goes to work?.. lol (Aren’t we all) I can have a fun makeup days but my clothes are still NPC and I don’t go out thaaat much so maybe anything about hats, scarfs, style direction, eeeeh. Recently got a stars belt, yay! I’m not scared of colours, I love them, but the stores around are 😔

Btw, didn’t say so yesterday but really wanna try Jazz Club on skin soon, hhh, even if might not end up purchasing, wish me luck on that, they’re out of stock EVERYWHERE. TF is still out there though.

it fucking sucks!!! ugh I'm really upset coz he was one of my faves but well >idols >being fake as hell broken people >shockedpikachu.jpg

and actually the lollipops are only a small part of it so far hahaha! I did see that someone had already written one and I don't really like to retread things unless I have a completely different take that I feel needs to be put out there. I am 100% selfish in my fic-writing lol! It will involve some other idiosyncrasies I find fascinating about Genba's character though. Hm, actually, I'm only about 80% selfish considering I added something a little fetishy that is not my fetish but is something that completely fits his character. For the type of people that enjoy that particular kink, I hope it hits the spot lol

As for work clothing, it's really hard, isn't it. I work in a very sombre environment (it's a very specific industry so I don't want to dox myself, but it's death-adjacent) so my work wardrobe is extremely bland, just dark colour pants and plain button-up shirts, maybe the occasional inoffensive Micro-Florals For Men print or something. That's why I go out so hard on my days off! But I think having a good baseline of high quality versatile basics is important. Your basics don't have to be what other people think are basics either. For example, when I worked in a more normal office environment, I often wore vintage button-ups in pastels and fun patterns (not the more vibrant ones though, they're strictly weekenders) with the rest of my outfit being average businesswear. I think that's a good way to incorporate a little fun into your daily wear. Plus, you can get some really nice silk and quality cotton 80s/90s vintage shirts for pretty cheap because they're not trendy with kids lol. Like half of my wardrobe is vintage, I really recommend it. But I think the most important thing is kind of just finding your work "uniform", capsule-ising it (I have abt 10 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, and 2 skirts I rotate) and focusing on what you actually like wearing on your days off. That way you can reduce your stress level in the morning by not having to think about it, and you're not stuck in thinking "but can I wear this to work?" when you're looking at a piece of clothing that actually speaks to you.

And good luck with Jazz Club!!! I really really love it, it's such a sexy and sophisticated scent that is also so warm and soothing. Even though it's sold as a male perfume, I think it has a definite sweet softness. I'm usually so fussy with perfume, and I often only buy testers or travel sizes, but I bought a bottle of that like after my second try. Do see if you can find a site that sells samples btw, they shouldn't be expensive, but the only sites I've used are strictly Australian so I can't recommend you one unfortunately. Probably just search "reddit perfume samples websites" lol

[whumpmatsus]

also sorry to y’all if I ever... get any info wrong?

I try to research while seriously writing, but if it’s just something funny for the sake of an ask or joke I just go with whatever I think is funniest rather than researching because it’s not serious writing

feel free to unfollow if you don’t like that tbh

(mini vent in tags idk cuz I’ve been feeling weird lately)

[verytendou]

hhhh writing hard

[cloudiness]

Srry if this is random but i just finished lv s2 and i don't have friends who watch it. anyway you are so right abt your post!! I mean after the whole close your eyes thing, 2 episodes of Rahim x Victor was not enough to convince me that he chose him. also he needs to stop jumping from one relationship to another and start growing them or let him be single.

Don't be sorry!!! I LOVE THAT YOU'VE REACHED OUT! I have just one friend who watches this but she's not started this season yet so I too don't have anyone to talk about it.

Anyway..YES! THANK YOU! I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU AGREE WITH ME! I'm sorry writers but the whole Rahim thing just doesn't work for me.

I was so happy that Victor got to be someone else's Simon when Rahim wrote to him and that he was going to have a gay friend irl to support him and help him and not just Simon that can't always be there for him BUT INSTEAD THEY WENT AND GAVE US A LOVE TRIANGLE THAT IT'S NOT EVEN BELIEVABLE. THEY SPEND LESS THAN 12 HOURS TOGETHER CJDJZKKDMD.

Idk, it just doesn't make sense! I completely agree with you, DEVELOP ONE RELATIONSHIP IN THE RIGHT WAY OR LET HIM BE SINGLE!

I keep seeing people just hating on Benji and it kinda irks me but can you blame them!? No, because the writers made him like that, he says one thing in an episode than the opposite in the next episode, he's always supportive but also doesn't seem to be able to sympathize with anyone, he's the sweetest but also he's insufferable for no valid reason..like, what the hell?! I refuse to accept the "that's how the character is", that's just a badly written character that you used to get people to like Victor being with someone else when instead you could have had developed his character more and his all back story too.

I feel like the writers basically said "yeah, he was an alcoholic, he's also 16, white, rich and has really supportive parents, always and it easy so can't understand other people's problems" instead of "he's 16 and he ended up being an alcoholic very young, he's now recovering and he can't always be perfect, his parents love him but maybe the weren't always like that, I mean, they still had a 15/yo alcoholic child" and SO MANY MORE THINGS THEY JUST DIDN'T THINK WAS WORTH TELLING. UGHHHH. I'm SO frustrated.

Sorry I just wrote like an essay. Anyway Anon, I so agree with you, hope you'll write again whenever you feel like talking about this show that I still love very much even after this last episodes and sorry again for this like 1k words reply 😅❤

[postmodern-blues]

first listen to rhys and ianto’s excellent barbecue: a saga

I’m just gonna put all my thoughts in order while I listen to this audio and do my homework. I’ll tag it for spoilers, but I’ll also put everything below the cut in case you haven’t listened to it yet <3 um also i do a lot of swearing be warned...

last warning, yall, lots of spoilers and quotes ahead:

Rhys’s friends call him RHYSIE and I Am So Soft For This.

“I’m making my Special Sauce” god if Jack were here....

I love how Torchwood writers can’t even find a way to write RHYS in a straight way. He’s so cute and AHSDHGHFDAS I LOVE THIS SO FAR

the meat jokes.... already.... let’s hope serentiy Ianto does not resurface

IANTO! my god I have missed my boy. HE IS BACK

Oh my god... oh my fuck.... he’s so CUTE i might need to take a breather.... dude....

Gwen looking out for Ianto, inviting him to Rhys’s stuff. DID SOMEONE SAY FOUND FAMILY HMMMM

“lads, lads, lads” I WENT FERAL WHEN I HEARD THIS IN THE TRAILER

“Jack’s sorry he couldn’t come” hhhhhhhh one sausage comes off the barbecue and he’d be like “this is quite homoerotic” HAIJFODHS

Rhys come on,,,, baby,,,,, do not be homophobic about this

I get the feeling I might be going too crazy about this,,, WE’RE ONLY FIVE MINUTES IN

godDAMNIT THIS IS THE SHIT I’VE BEEN CRAVING EVER SINCE GHOST TRAIN afdsohfs

Ianto brought Chardonnay....

“Except Banana boat, he’s a bit thick” AGFDKHDGS R H Y S

oh shit alien things are happening

“yes, RHYS, I know how to discuss my TOP SECRET work at a social event” he’s fucking ICONIC

“you have an inability to call each other by your proper names” my sister is just like this tho... she calls all her friends by anime character names.. little bit better than ‘sticky jeff’ but not much

Ianto being oblivious to Rhys’s gender role shit is just,,,, I STAN HIM

If Ianto and Rhys do not take a ride in the pink car by the end of this audio I’m suing

jkjk but that would be so great wouldn’t it

godDAMNIT i love this audio

"we.... don’t” yet again, it is the 21st century, and torchwood is sooo not ready

“It’s the BOYS’ barbecue” rhys and his friends seem like they have a very cute queerplatonic relationship. wonder if they wear socks when they’re doing “barbecues”

who the fuck is steven.... whAT IS GOING ON

“I don’t know him THAT well, but there’s no way he would call me love” u sure abt that rhysie

“if u run headfirst into an invisible wall, at least let me FILM it on my phone” these two i stfg

this ‘time bubble’ concept has SO MANY FIC POSSIBILITIES why is big finish spoiling us-

jack and gwen going for pizza instead of being at work AHHDOFDGSHK 

oh my GOD THE CALLBACK TO DISSECTED!!!!! this is like when gareth called back to The Last Beacon in Dinner and a Show AHHHH

I am reminded about martha and gwen,,, i am happy,,, the PARALLELS

these two arguing dude the TENSION.. the SUBTEXT

“god help you if you ever hear about pink wine” SFIHOJADHGF 

i swear half my commentary here is me quoting something funny and then keyboard smashing

Ianto is fucking ANNIHILATING Rhys here and by extension gender roles. Goddamnit THIS is the conversation we needed. I love him so much can you tell

“you LOVE each other” I’ve only had this audio for about half an hour but if anything fucking happens to it, i’ll kill everyone in the room and then myself

i don’t think you understand how goddamn adorable rhys is about his friends

“thank fuck none of them are here right now” mate my man badger calls you RHYSIE i don’t think it would affect them

I am so thankful Jack isn’t here because oh my g o d this would be an hour long block of innuendos. this whole audio is just exposing the very prominent homoerotic tendencies of straight men

sometimes, and by that i mean all the time, i wonder if my family hears me listening to big finish and wonders if i’m actually just watching porn. and honestly I think it would be a whole lot less embarrassing if i just told them i was watching porn instead of “yeah it’s this scifi thing these characters are trying to make a hole in an invisible time force field thing. are they gay? no, well, i mean, yes, but not like that! welllll, a little bit like that, but it’s NOT PORN”

“what the hell was that rhys? You Absolute Idiot.” AHHH THESE TWO

“let’s stuff it full of sausages” 

GWEN AND IANTO TELLING EACH OTHER STORIES ABOUT THEIR IDIOT HUSBANDS IS MY LIFEBLOOD FUCKKKKKK

“back pocket” THIS IS SENDING ME BACK TO MY SHERLOCK FANDOM DAYS (fucking remember john getting sherlock’s phone out of his coat that he was wearing? that’s what this is)

Rhys pretending to be Steven (Stephen?) is,,,,, oh my god,,, this is too fucking intense

god i feel so bad for rhys,,, seriously

ohmygodddddd

this took a serious turn I was not prepared for

also gwen wanting rhys to talk to ianto is,,, ughhhh i ship gwen/rhys sooo hard

rhys- baby- oh my godohmygodohmygod

im like,,, IM CRYING BRO THIS IS

“I DO love them” hhhhhh

the special sauce thing is sending me im sorry

“can we rescue the beer?” RHYS

‘Ianto you beautiful man, you did it!” THEY!!! THEY!!!!!!

i wanna make it clear that i don’t ship rhys and ianto but i think they are so cute as friends

guys im in tears right now

the way rhys goes from not wanting ianto here to not wanting him to leave,,, um its a simple arc but i’d also do anything for it

RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN ANDHDHSGHFAOSDLSDLHD

“OH HE’S ADORABLE WHATS HE CALLED?” me when i first saw Ianto Jones onscreen

“he’s a colleague of the missus,,,,,, and a friend” why don’t you just shoot me in the head hm

rhysie,,, baby,,, holy shit you need to go to therapy,,, just like,,, have a chat with janet the weevil and see how you feel after

funny how rhys fucking williams is handling loss so much better than ANY of torchwood. like jack got PREGNANT after losing owen+tosh. Ianto started having sex with his immortal boss after losing his girlfriend. healthy coping mechanisms? who is she?

they let rhys say fuck a lot in this audio and that is Very Sexy of Them

“bunny has run away with my tie” h e s s o f u c k i n g p r e c i o u s

“lads lads lads” AHHHHHHHHH

this audio. is. so good. so cute. so sad. BIG FINISH YOU DID IT AGAIN YOU SEXY BASTARDS YOU!!!!

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

[starrysamu]

I feel bad for him. But also, are chem classes that awkward? Is it the same for orher stem classes? How do they survive???? Omg Kenma!!! Is he famous? Does he do twitch/youtube along with teaching? Sfsjgdksv WTFF IS THiS TeNsION!!! The engine and the honey and the name and the ughhhh just Kuroo in all his glory!! Ok all the chem references in here is "!!!!" Plssss they're still agsjsvjsjdgxkd What was the emphasis on remember? what even went down??? I wanna know so badly!! Really excited abt it!

ackkkkk my stem classes were SOOOO bad like nobody would wanna answer the questions. esp the big lectures it was so bad my professor would beg someone to answer. thinking about it gives me whiplash 

AND AHSHJS IDK BUT UR GIVING ME IDEAS THAT’S FOR SURE ..... SIDE PLOT IS KENMA’S A FAMOUS STREAMER AND NO ONE KNOWS IT 

ugh i need to work on my chem references it’s been a damn min since i took a chem class i won’t lie. (also me, writes this with chemistry in mind CTFUUU) 

and AHHH THANK U SM FOR READING IT!!! I’M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! I HOPE U LIKE THE NEW CHAPTER I LOVE WRITING THINGS LIKE I’M PEELING AN ONION 

[banrions]

We have made it to s4 and the time jump and I LOVE time jumps and I love little hope and I remember jack all abt this season other than that so BRING IT ON FOLKS my originals rewatch continues

I need all the fics of Hayley and hope in the five years on the run SO BADLY pls someone give me recs

Hayleyyyyy hugging freya when she wakes her up so tightly I DIE

also freya, babe, love, YOU’RE KIDNAPPING YOUR WIFE. THAT'S RUDE. BE NICER TO YOUR FUTURE WIFE

Like I get why she’s so worried abt her siblings and marcel. She doesn’t have the history or the loyalty to him that they do, but still babe SHE IS YOUR WIFE

them slowly bonding and freya being SO CONFUSED that someone likes her??? that someone who isnt her family hangs around to help her???? what is friendship?? what is connection??? what is happening THE GREAT VIKING WITCH IS SMILING LIKE A LITTLE GIGGLY BEAN AND I LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DID THE FIRST TIME

elijah’s ~~schtick~~ of like walking like he does, and wagging his finger around purposefully, and turning real fast, and talking with a weird tight pronunciations as he postures around ppl and tells them what to do is..... getting real old to me. 

freya and keelin dancing around each other and making flirty eyes is SO DELIGHTFUL now that i know they are deffo going there and get married later. IT’S SO FUN

YOU MAKE ME FEEL UNDERSTOOD AND KNOWN. YOU DESERVE THAT. GOOOOSHHHHH i rlly love them

the shot of hayley and hope’s birthmarks in bed is still one of my small favs, also, it’s ep 7 and the two of them have kinda barely interacted save like one or two scenes, now that i come to think abt it. UNCALLED FOR.

i don’t remember much abt how the hollow backstory goes, but the whole native american origins feels like it will just delve into racism!! i’m not excited abt it!! at all !! (which is just like.. so unfortunate in so many ways bc there are some fucking awesome stories that could be told abt ancient native witches and yet i do not trust this show for it at all!!)

iiiii rlly hate elijah. this is not doing better you fucknut. not even a little

duuuuuuude the way that riley voelkel looks at christina moses as freya issss so fucking hot and soft and deadly all at once and i LOVE IT

HAYLEY STICKING UP FOR FREYA AGAINST KLAUS!!!! hayley recognizing how much freya is panicking at the thought of losing her brother. hayley who (despite how much their relationship in s4 [and all of it after s1, actually] annoys me) is ALSO rlly panicking at the thought of losing elijah STILL !!!! TRIES !!! TO !!! COMFORT !!! AND PROTECT !!! FREYA!!!! KILLLLLS MEEEEE

the thing is... i dont care abt kol and davina enough. and like, i like davina, but i don’t like a lot of the plot they use her for and honestly, she’s not my fav character. which is a bummer to realize. i wonder, if her arcs hadn’t hinged so much on kol, if i would feel differently. 

mad and sad that the only rebekah/hope scene so far is the hollow possessing baby girl and using her to kill her aunt

freya panicking at the thought of losing all her siblings bc she’s supposed to be the big sister who fixes everything, who has searched from them for a literal thousand years hurts my whole soul. 

FREYA. IS WILLING TO DIE. to lose her magic. to lose her siblings. to maybe lose keelin, to turn into a vampire to save hope and to keep hope with hayley I WANT TO DIE WHERE IS MY FIC OF THESE FOUR? AM I GONNA HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO WRITE IT??? BC AT THIS POINT I’M READY TO BUT I DON’T WANNA. 

i forgot that s4 only had 13 eps until i was like.... wait they already defeated the hollow and that’s way to early in the season for that and then i googled it. fuck

I THOUGHT THERE WAS MORE OF LITTLE HOPE AND I’M SAD

i wish they’d had a slightly longer season (16 is a solid number in my opinion tbh) bc i wanted a lot more domestic family scenes. more hayley and hope for SURE more hope and freya, more hope and everyone tbh (not elijah. i don’t care abt him)

ughhhh i’m forgetting how much i hate the s5 memory loss bullshit arc for him. 

wHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT that i find klaus so much less irritating than elijah??? NOT ME FROM HOWEVER MANY YEARS AGO, THAT’S FOR SURE

I’m gonna miss little hope but im very excited to see big hope in s5 but i’m ready to BE FUROUS ABT S5. I REMEMBER HOW MUCH I HATED S5 I’M GLAD THE END IS NIGH BC I KNOW I’M GONNA HATE THIS SO SO SO MCUH. THEY DID HAYLEY SO DIRTY AND I’M READY TO BE FUCKING FURIOUS

anyway: s4 is’nt that great. the big bad plot is like.... mostly stupid and a little racist in a way?? and not enough domestic family things but it’s fine i guess and i love little hope and wish we’d had more of her honestly. 

[pulledpurplecurtains]

Hi angel! Here: 6, 7, 32, 41, 47, 51, 55, 56, 57, 63, 68, 72, 74, 79, 87, 96, 98, 99 and 100! omg that's a lot, have fun listening to all those songs =D

hi love! these are indeed a lot of numbers, which only means more procrastination for me skdhfjkdsf i’m very excited, let’s see!

6: do you keep plants? ughhhh i wish i could but i’m useless and they all just wither away sooner or later skjdfjsdf i’ve tried it many times and the same thing kept happening smh

7: do you name your plants? kjsdhfjssk i love naming things, and i had named some of my plants through the years

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. answered!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? oof this is hard, i haven’t read an actual book in so damn long and i blame fanfiction for that kjdsskj so if i may, i’ll say my own book, which i’ve finished for some months now and which i should really edit and transfer to my computer (it’s handwritten) at some point soon

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? actually, none! there are a few foods i don’t eat and others that i eat very begrudgingly, but let the people have their food!! (it would be any and all kinds of oyster if i had to pick, though. nasty little asshats)

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Stars are On Your Side by Ross Copperman <3

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? i can be a very dramatic person in how i speak and exist, but usually not when trying to prove a point kjdfhgkdk so nothing really comes to mind i’m sorry love!

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? awkwardness is very endearing always, especially when coupled up with shyness, softness, humor, or kind gestures. seeing people caring for others in unassuming ways. people’s cute lil quirks, like small everyday stuff, that give them joy and they get so excited about. on that note, people getting excited about things from 0-100 is always very endearing as well. people being passionate and ‘nerdy’ about things they love.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? omg which one, there’s two!!!! i’m taking the liberty to listen to the Queens one?? brb ---> OH BOY was that song a rollercoaster of journey! first, it made me think back to a very dark period in my life, then i was like sjdhfjsdf what is happening???, then it filled me with such a bright and soothing sense of hope, and by the end it felt like i was talking to my brain, telling the stupid thing to sit down and shut up. i did not dramatically reenact the lyrics though, no lmaoo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? oh i have a system about everything, nevermind that that system may seem to other people completely illogical and like utter chaos instead sdjhfhjsd so yes, i have a system abt books and my music and i always get fussy abt it, like with all of my systems 

68: what’s winter like where you live? it’s usually dry cold, humidity is quite rare here. it can get windy, but nothing too crazy, and many days are sunny which is just the loveliest thing. temperatures can go sub zero celsius, but a usual winter day is around 5 above zero? give or take? we don’t get heavy snow usually, but it will snow at least a few times through the winter. i do wish we had more snow, though, i love the snow 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? depends on how many things i have to remember, and how far away they are. but generally if it’s more than one thing and more than a few days away i do have to write them down, yes skjdfhjsd my memory can be extremely poor and my brain despises multitasking even in thinking form

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bright, brown eyes. curly, and many times frizzy, blonde hair. heart-warming smile. out-spoken. caring. thoughtful. encouraging. supportive. sensitive but you wouldn’t think so. hard-working. dedicated. a realist but generally positive

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? hmm one of the cutest? i can think of so many heart-warming gestures, but i wouldn’t necessarily categorize them as cute. a certain someone indulging my love for snow and my daydreaming centered around it when i know they hate the cold is what comes to mind

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? oh this is a hard one. Titanic and The 12 Jurors come to mind instantly, as does Miracle on 34th street. all the disney movies. and god i’m sure there are many more i’d be like OH this one too! but my brain is so bad with movies ksdjhfskj

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? lmao i procrastinate until my computer decides to install them itself and then i grumble the entire time it does so

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i love suburban long walks, nature long walks are one of my most dreaded nightmares sjfjskdfk last time i did that last one was in summer of 2018 and i enjoyed it afterwards, when the experience settled in, because a friend and me reached a beautiful natural spring by the end of the hike (and then we had to hike all the way back, which i don’t even wanna think about)

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. It’s My Life by Bon Jovi, This is Me Trying by Taylor Swift, Perno Ena Podilato by Kostas Makedonas (it’s a greek one), Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia, Stars are On Your Side by Ross Copperman

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?   neither. my past is part of me and it has made me who i am but going back to it, especially to 2015, is not something i would wanna do or that would be helpful to me in any way. and as for the future, i believe our actions every day shape and change what are future will look like. so even if i saw it, i don’t know that it would stay the same; so i wouldn’t have gained anything. if it did stay the same, i’m partly afraid to find out in case it turns out my dreams don’t come true. but also, no matter how much i don’t like the unknown, that’s how the future is supposed to be. that’s life. and i’m okay with that. so neither 

BOY were these a lot of questions! but i spent a wonderful one and half hours answering them all and doing no actual work sjdhfjsdhfjs so thank you love!

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 2 - Twinyards!

In which we reveal Exy’s origin story, my namesake appears, Andrew has some Serious Issues™ and the Twinyards pull off the oldest twin trick in the book of twin tricks, however their punny name totally redeems them.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Not gonna lie – I’ve been dying to read on since the last chapter. God, I just wanna sit down and burn through the entire book in two days. No. Patience, Nicki.

We start off the second chapter with yet another new character – Aaron Minyard, who is an all-black unfriendly fucker like his twin, minus the murder tendencies.

              “Neil,” Aaron said in lieu of hello, and he pointed. “Baggage claim.”

            “Just this.” Neil tapped the strap of the duffel bag hanging off his shoulder. The bag was small enough to be a carry-on and large enough to carry everything Neil owned.

What the fuck, this is the saddest thing I’ve read all day.

Aaron proves to be exactly the same shade of Extra and Dramatic as everyone else so far as he doesn’t give a flying hoot about lung cancer, polite conversation, or basic traffic regulations.

            “It’s too nice of a car to wreck,” [Neil] said pointedly.

            “Don’t be so afraid to die,” Aaron said as the car kept gliding across the four-lane road to an exit ramp. “If you are, you have no place on our court.”

Literally chill out, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.

Neil, unbothered by the waves of Extra currently rolling around, takes this car ride as an opportunity to talk about his favourite subject: Kevin.

            “Kevin stays on campus?” he asked.

            “Where the court is, Kevin is. He can’t exist without it,” Aaron said derisively.

What a nerd. I love it.

However, Kevin’s immense nerd-love for Exy is actually explained shortly after and answers my most burning question from last chapter: WHAT THE FUCK IS EXY IT MAKES NO SENSE SPORTS DON’T GET FAMOUS THAT FAST BLA BLA BLA.

Shut up, past!me. Nora Sakavic is gonna learn you a thing.

            Kevin’s mother Kayleigh Day and Riko’s uncle Tetsuji Moriyama created the sport roughly thirty years ago while Kayleigh was studying abroad in Fukui, Japan. What started as an experiment spread from their campus to local street teams, then across the ocean to the rest of the world. Kayleigh brought it home with her to Ireland after completing her degree and the United Stated picked it up soon after.

OKAY. First of all, thirty years is a long time and it’s fully plausible for a sport to develop this kind of following and news’ coverage in that time. For example, snowboarding was only developed in the late 70s/early 80s, yet today it’s even a Olympic discipline.

(Also, my comparison with competitive cheerleading from last chapter might have been unfair. Cheer counts as a minority sport in the US as well, yet fangirl/boy-level stalking is fully possible with American teams. Soz.)

Second of all, KEVIN AND RIKO’S PARENTS INVENTED EXY??? WHAT?!?!?

I’d be an arrogant son of a bitch too if that had happened to me. Holy fucking what.

            Riko and Kevin were the face of the Ravens. To many, they were considered the future of Exy. (…) Except Kevin Day signed with the Foxes in March – not as a coach, but as a striker.

[fergie’s ‘london bridge’ voice] OH SHIT.

            His fans went from feeling heartbroken to feeling betrayed. Palmetto State hat borne the brunt of that rage since. The university and stadium had been vandalized upwards of a dozen times and there’d been numerous fights on campus. It would only get worse when the season started and people saw Kevin wearing the Foxes’ colours.

Fictional Sports World gets Actual Sports World’s obsessive fan violence spot on.

Also, I feel sorry for the students going to Palmetto State Uni who don’t give a fuck about Exy. Like, can y’all crazy sportsballheads stop vandalizing our campus like some people are trying to get an education here thank you. It’s like going to Hogwarts and just trying to live a chill regular life. Not happening.

As they arrive at Wymack’s house, a much-needed ray of sunshine appears: Nicky Hemmick.

            Nicholas Hemmick was the only one who looked genuinely happy to see Neil. (…) “I’m Nicky.” Nicky gave Neil’s hand another hard squeeze before letting go. “Andrew and Aaron’s cousin, backliner extraordinaire.”

            (…) “By blood?”

            Nicky laughed. “Don’t look it, right?”

I would like to point out that this is the first time a character genuinely laughs in this entire book. And we’re on page 22.

What a guy. I’m honoured to be his namesake (with minor spelling differences). Please don’t turn out to be an aggressive fuckwit as well please.

Some predictions on Nicky’s character:

- his kink is bein’ friendly and havin’ a good time

- drama kid

- g l i t t e r

- super open abt his sexuality, just loves love, essentially pansexual

- can fuck u up but does it nicely because he wants to support you and help you grow as a person

- would die for his friends (and dogs)

- essentially my headcanon courfeyrac from les mis okay shut up

Ahem. Moving on.

            “You have a nice car for someone who thinks he’s poor,” Neil said. (…)

            “Aaron’s mother bought it for us with her life insurance money,” Andrew explained.

Okay but - Aaron’s mother? What? Surely Aaron’s mother is Andrew’s mother as well if they’re twins?

I don’t believe this is lazy writing. What is going on there.

            “It’s not the world that’s cruel,” Neil said. “It’s the people in it.”

I don’t even want to know how many fangirls use this as their blog headline/Facebook status/moodboard caption/wrist tattoo.

            [Neil] was too busy staring at Aaron’s pants pockets. They were much too flat to be hiding a pack of cigarettes, but Neil had seen Aaron put the pack away before crossing the street at the airport.

Are you telling me Neil is too busy staring at Aaron’s ass (which is actually Andrew’s ass, spoiler alert) to notice when to walk into Wymack’s apartment because that might be the best thing that’s happened so far.

(Unless we’re talking about front pockets, in which case, nevermind).

And then this happens:

            “What was that all about?“

            Neil’s blood turned to slush. It wasn’t the words that got him but the language Nicky used. German was Neil’s second language thanks to three years spent living in Austria, Germany, and Switzerland.

GERMANY! The mothercountry! Land of beer, sausage, and superfluously-stocked hardware stores!

Now the only thing I can imagine is Aaron and Andrew as coldmirror’s Torsten und Torben. I’m not even sorry.

            “Team’s still split fifty-fifty on whether or not [Coach Wymack and Abby] are boning. Andrew refuses to vote, which means you’re the tiebreaker. Let us know ASAP. I’ve got money riding on it.”

To no one’s surprise, Nicky is Ultimate Shipping King. I love him more by the minute.

However, these short moments of glee are immediately overridden because this happens:

          Too late, Neil remembered Nicky’s exasperated accusion in the living room: “What the hell did you say to him, Andrew?” Neil had assumed Nicky was referring to their first meeting in Millport, but Nicky had been talking about the car ride from the airport. It wasn’t Aaron who picked Neil up from the airport after all.

WHAAAAAT.

I mean… this is the oldest twin trick in the book, really. What is this, the Parent Trap?

No kidding, I’d pay to see the Twinyards with ginger pigtails dressed in early 20s fashion.

Also, Twinyards!! How did I not see that before!! Thank you, fandom, for finding the punniest names for everything ever.

(If you’re wondering whether I’m still laughing over this name as I type this: I am.)

Apparently, Andrew has some serious anger management issues and enough court-regulated drugs in his system to kill a small child, effectively making him a hardcore drug addict against his will.

WHAAAAAAAAAAT. No, seriously, WHAT.

The angst just does not stop, you guys.

Also, Wymack is back!

#dicksoutforwymack

          Neil looked down at the key in his palm, at the security Wymack so easily and unquestioningly gave him. Maybe Neil wouldn’t get any sleep tonight, and amybe he’d spend the next couple weeks waking up every time Wymack snored a little too loud, but maybe Neil really was okay here for now.

Oh don’t mind me I’m just crying in the corner whilst stabbing myself with my own materialized emotions.

What. A. Dude.

On a last note: How sexual was the elevator scene. I can’t even quote anything or I’d need to just slap the entire thing here because dear god, the gay is not even subtle at all.

          Neil couldn’t anticipate Kevin. (…) But Andrew was just a psychotic midget, and Neil had grown up around violence. Handling him would be easy.

Two things:

1. 20 bucks says it’s not gonna be fucking easy ho boy

2. Maybe chill on the m word, my dude.

Ughhhh. Is it Sunday already?