#I LOVE YOU SOJU MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[peemil]

this toad survived two wars and an occupation

[withleeknow]

somewhere only we know.

pairing: ot8 x reader (ot8 in the sense that there's no name mentioned so you can imagine whoever you want) genre/warnings: established relationship, (tooth-rotting??) fluff, half a second of angst if you squint; this is pretty self-indulgent and also i just randomly wanted to write it this way. kinda similar to this but not really word count: 0.6k note: again, imagine whoever you want! mimo is on the cover just for illustrative purposes and also he's my guy so what did you expect from me lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

the waterfront on the tail end of a sunset walk. your hand tightly intertwined with his. sharing strawberry tanghulu and tasting the fruity sweetness on each other's lips. neighborhood children rushing by in a hurry to make it home for dinner. 7:12pm, his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm as dark blue begins its descent for the evening. the wind and her gentle kisses upon your hair. you stop to take a picture of the sunset but he stops to take a picture of you. a rose-colored blush when he tells you you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. love, love, love. him, the stars shining in his eyes before they have to come out and paint the sky. mismatched footsteps and twin smiles.

the middle of your apartment's entryway, not even making it into the living room. your arms around his neck, his hands on your waist and in your hair. a long trip coming to a stop, a big suitcase abandoned by the door. the scent of his familiar cologne that you've yearned to touch for weeks now. 1:19am, wide awake. somewhere in the world, iris by goo goo dolls is playing on repeat. i missed you's and i love you's and fresh tears. feeling like you could hold him like this for hours until the darkness outside falls away. no more facetiming with seas of distance between you. chests pressed tightly together, no space, all love. sweet nothings whispered right next to your ear. home is where the heart is, and your heart is home.

the park five minutes away from his parents' house. your head on his chest, both of you on a large picnic blanket laid out on green, green grass. his heartbeat under your palm, your mind somewhere up there among the clouds. sleepy and lax under the influence of the sun. 3:29pm, an iced matcha latte and a slice of lemon cheesecake sound absolutely divine right about now. there's an urge to voice that thought, but you know neither of you can be bothered to move. his lips pressed against your forehead, then a tender "i could stay like this forever."

the convenience store just around the corner. a spontaneous snack run in the middle of the night because you were craving sweets. empty streets but your hearts are full. the cashier's ringtone is a song that you both hate. 12:22am, no worries in your head. tomorrow is still the weekend. banana milks and chocolate ice cream. he falls for you all over again when you aren't looking, and tells you "nothing," with a coy smile when you ask why he's staring. time works differently at night, almost like it doesn't seem to pass at all. there's no logical explanation to why you feel like you're on top of the world at midnight in sweatpants; maybe it's just being with him, maybe it's just being in love.

your favorite bar on a rainy evening. the argument was stupid, but it was heated enough for you to storm out. only red on your mind; forgotten weather forecasts and forgotten umbrellas. stubborn and angry and alone. the fight was your fault anyway. 8:18pm, a bottle of soju for company. ignoring his calls and texts when your phone lights up with his name. heavy raindrops loud enough to hear from inside your shelter, heavier heart. the way his face fell when you said what you didn't mean. why did you say that? forty five minutes and the bottle is almost empty. far too tipsy to pay attention to the chime of the bell by the door, but sober enough to recognize his presence when he sits down next to you. his rain-dampened hair and your fragile, wounded pride. the apologies are quiet, uttered into the space between the two of you, only for his ears. forgiveness in the form of gentle fingers holding your own. "it's getting cold," he says. "let's go home."

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.05.2024]

[yuta-senpai]

Deceit Chapter 1 | Hendery

- Genre: Smut

- Warnings: Mentions of infidelity, lying, degradation, mirror sex, restrained hands, choking, unprotected sex, and mentions of divorce

- Word Count: 2.6K

Previous | Next 

You sat on the couch waiting for your husband Hendery to get back from work.  He was late as always, and tonight you had dinner plans for the 10th anniversary of your marriage which it seems like he forgot about.  You understood that being the CEO of an entertainment company required a lot of time and work, but this was not his first time missing plans and not even telling you he would be late.

He was officially 4 hours late and you had missed your dinner reservation, you were tempted to change and just go to sleep, but you wanted him to see what he missed out on.  You were pulled away from your thoughts when you heard the front door open and a soft giggle.  You stood up from the sofa and walked over to the door.

Hendery was standing there with his arm around his secretary, his eyes wide, then a big smile spread across his face, “Hehehe hi princess.  You look good.  Why you so dressed up, just want me to eat you up?”

You were wearing a tight pink dress, a white lace bra, and thong set underneath.  Pink was his favorite color, you weren’t crazy about it but would wear it for him.

His secretary bowed and apologized, “I’m sorry he went out for a meeting and got way too drunk on Soju.” You arched your eyebrow, “So he had a business meeting?  Would have been nice for him to tell me that.” She seemed annoyed, her eyebrow twitching, “I’m sorry it was last minute, did you two have plans for tonight?”

You nodded then sighed and walked over, taking his arm and helping walk him to the living room to sit on the couch.

“Thanks for bringing him home, I’ll deal with him.” She bowed again then left quickly.  You had always known he was fucking her behind your back, she was trying to win him over and she had won.  You understood why, Hendery was attractive, young, and rich.  He was only 32 years old.  You two met when he was 20, dated for 2 years, then got married and have been together ever since. 

Hendery underestimated your intelligence, thought that you wouldn't notice him coming home later than normal, him smelling like perfume, the lipstick marks on the collar of his shirts, and his sudden loss of desire to sleep with you.  He seemed to forget you were a college-educated woman with a full-time job, not just some naive housewife who would just take it.

You stood over Hendery who was slouched back on the sofa smiling really big. 

“You are just too pretty my princess, so perfect.  I love you so much, and want to love you forever.” He opened his arms to pull you down into his lap.  You shook your head ‘no’ and sat down on the table behind you.

He pouted, “Why do you not wanna sit on me?” Tears welled in your eyes, he really had no clue what today was, he had no clue why you had dressed up, he was too busy fucking his secretary, but you weren’t going to cry in front of him so you pushed the tears away.  You used to love him but he hurt you too much.

“Do you not remember what today is Hendery?” He thought for a moment, “Hmmm Saturday?” You rolled your eyes, “Yes but do you have an idea of what the date is?” He thought again and his face fell, “May 4th” You nodded and he seemed to sober up, “I’m so sorry princess, work has just been crazy and I forgot.” He leaned forward and grabbed your hands but you pulled away, “Sorry isn’t going to work anymore Hendery.  This keeps happening, you should just go to your secretary, you spend more time with her anyway, I don’t even know why we are married anymore.” He looked at you with sadness in his eyes, his breathing quickened.  “Y/N I can’t lose you, because I need you.  You are the air I breathe, the blood in my veins, and just my everything.” You noticed he just ignored the secretary comment which pissed you off and the way he seemed completely sober now as if he was faking being drunk, “You are a fucking liar.  You are only afraid of losing me, because I am always here for you, always putting up with your shit.  You don’t care that it’s me only that somebody is here for you.”

He took your face in his hands, his eyes watering, but no tears falling quite yet. 

“Please Y/N, don’t leave me.” Tears slid from your eyes as you finally broke down, he leaned in and kissed the tears away.  He hovered over your lips and eyed you as if asking for permission to kiss you.  

You knew he didn’t deserve it, and it would only hurt you more, but figured having sex with him one last time wouldn’t hurt.

You closed your eyes and he took that as a ‘yes, connecting his lips with yours.  He pulled you onto his lap, holding you close to him. He kissed down your neck pausing every couple moments to speak, “I - will - make sure - you know- just - how much - I - love you.”  

He slid your dress up your thighs and over your ass.  “Look at those pretty panties, I love them, you really know how to drive me crazy, but would rather see that pretty pussy of yours” He laid you down on the couch, and slid your underwear off, throwing them to the side.  

“I’m gonna make tonight all about you princess.  Make sure you feel good.”

He held onto your right leg, then kissed down from your ankle all the way to your inner thigh he lingered on your inner thigh, sucking and leaving a couple of hickeys.

He then kissed all the way down hovering over your core, he stared into your eyes then kissed your clit.  

A soft sigh left your lips, and you let both of your legs rest on his shoulders.  He focused on your clit, alternating between lightly sucking and licking.  You moaned and clamped your thighs around his head.  He chuckled which vibrated against your core making you shudder, “Don’t suffocate me down here princess, although at least I’d be dying because of your pussy.” You rolled your eyes and he smiled at you, then went back to work on your clit.  He was more aggressive this time, trying to work your orgasm out of you.  He backed away and licked his middle and ring finger on his right hand then slid his fingers into you.  You dug your fingers into his hair and moaned.  His fingers curled up inside you rubbing against the most sensitive spot and his tongue ran perfectly across your clit, electrifying your bundle of nerves.  You pulled on his hair and moaned, “Ahh right there Hendery.”

He let his tongue lap at that certain spot and made sure his fingers curled against the spot.  Your toes curled and your eyes rolled back into your head.  Your thighs clamped around his head as you came.  He stayed working on those spots, working you through your orgasm. 

Even if Hendery was basically shit at the husband thing he always knew how to make your orgasm.  Once you came down from your high you released your grip on his hair and opened your thighs.  Hendery looked up and smiled at you, his face covered in your juices.  He wiped his face with the back of his hand.  You smiled back making him crawl up your body and kiss you.  He hovered over you, then backed away, standing up.  He leaned down and picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style.  You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck.

You thought he was carrying you to the bedroom but he turned down another hall.  You knew where he was going, he hadn't brought you here in months.  He pushed the door open and flipped the first switch. The room filled with a dim red glow. 

You looked around the room and sighed.  Hendery when you two were dating was all up for experimenting and loved the kinky side of sex, just like you.  So when you two got married and moved here he put together this room as a sort of a sexual retreat.

He sat you down on the floor.  Then walked over and flipped a light on so that there was a brighter glow from the floor by the mirrors. 

He walked over to you slowly, he untied his tie as he walked over.  He looked at you closely, eyeing your body like an animal ready to pounce. 

"On your knees now princess.  Face the mirror."

You got onto your knees and looked at him in the mirror.  He crouched down behind you and lifted your dress over your head leaving you just in your white lace bra.

He kissed your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist looking at you in the mirror.  You watched him closely, the way he touched you was just as loving as ever.  You had no doubt Hendery still loved you very much but he didn’t love you enough not to cheat.  He wanted to be married to you and have your love but he wanted to get the sex from somebody else.

He kissed along your neck leaving a few hickeys, then he unhooked your bra letting it fall.  He bit his lip, “Fuck, you are so sexy, princess.” He eyed the new large tattoo adorning your underbust and raised his eyebrow, “When did you get that?” You sighed, “Several months ago.  You would have known if you ever wanted to see your own wife naked.  I tried to ask you about your opinion but you ignored me.  Then when I decided to just get it, you never even gave me the chance to show you with all of those last nights at the office.” He looked sad, you think deep inside he knew he had lost you, that this was a goodbye.  He lost all of those wishes of having children, growing old together, and the broken promise of ‘till death do we part. 

*Flashback*

You laid on Hendery’s chest listening to the beating of his heart.  His hand slowly stroked your head. 

“I love you so much Y/N” “I love you too Hendery.  Forever and always.” You looked at him and he smiled, “Forever and always.” He kissed you and pulled you over to straddle him.  “I can’t wait to grow old with you, raise children together, and just be with you forever.  I don’t know how I will function in life without you, you are the only thing I will ever need.” *End of flashback*

It hurt you, you remember how just a few years ago things were so different.  You wanted to hope it would work, but nothing could repair this broken love.

He gripped your hands, “Can I tie your hands?” You nodded and he took his tie and wrapped it around your hands restricting you.

He helped push you forward, your face pressed against the floor and your ass in the air.  You watched in the mirror as he undid his belt and slid his slacks and underwear just far enough down to pull his dick free.

“Aren’t you going to get undressed?”

“Why?  I said tonight is about you.” You sighed, “But you know I like your body and I haven’t seen it in months.” “I don’t want to, now don’t ask again or I will be rough.” It felt degrading and not in a good way.  He didn’t even go to the effort to take his clothes off for you, and it made you feel like just a hole for him to fuck, not his wife.

He lined himself up with your core and sunk into you.  A deep moan left his lips and you whimpered.

The angle making his thrusts feel more intense since he didn’t give you a chance to adjust to his size.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip, “Eyes open princess, watch me fucking you, remember who your husband is and who this pussy belongs to.  Let me hear those moans.”

You opened your eyes to see Hendery’s jaw held tight in pleasure, his eyes dark, his hair perfectly framing his face,  his right hand pushing against your hands tied behind your back, and his left hand against your hip.  

It did annoy you that he claimed you as his but was out cheating, but you knew one of his kinks was claiming you and you used to love that but not anymore.

“Look at how beautiful you are full of my cock, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” Your face flushed, he moved his hand from your back to your hair, pulling you up against him.  Your back pressed against his chest and your breasts bounced with each thrust.  His hand wrapped around your throat.  He pushed on your carotid artery, closer to your ear, restricting the blood flow to your head making you feel light-headed.

Strangled moans escaped your lips.  Watching him fuck himself up into you was hot, his brow set in determination. 

His left hand moved down to your core, his fingers rubbing against your clit.  Your body jerked and he chuckled lowly in your ear, “Too much for you princess.  Can you not handle my cock?” You whimpered, “Ahh yes, of course, I can.  I don’t think you can handle this pussy and that’s why you cheat.” He snarled and started thrusting up into you harder, his grip on your throat tightening.  You had made him angry, and this further proved he was cheating, if he wasn’t he would have tried to reassure you he wasn’t.

Your hands pressed against his abs through his shirt as they were still tied up.

He bit down on your neck sending a wave of pleasure through your body.  You tightened around his member as you came, he grunted and had to slow his thrusts to not finish yet. 

He released his grip on your throat and slowly pulled out from you.  He held you against him so you could catch your breath.

“You did amazing princess.”  He kissed your cheek

He untied your wrists and just held you in his lap for a moment.

“Princess, I want you to ride me.” “Okay” You got off his lap and he helped you up, leading you over to the bed.  He laid down and pulled you down on top of him. 

You hovered over his dick then gripped it and guided it into you.  You both moaned and he gripped your hips. 

Leaning forward you braced yourself on his chest.  Watching him now made you wonder where things went wrong, what made you two grow apart.  You could still feel the love, like there was no doubt in your heart that Hendery loved you and always would but somewhere along the way he lost whatever had drawn you to each other.  

You held his shirt and went to unbutton it wanting to see his chest and abs one last time.  He gripped your hands, “I said no.” You raised your eyebrow then quickly grabbed the neck of his button-up, ripping the buttons off as you pulled his shirt open.  His chest and neck were littered with hickeys, not from you, and very fresh.

You froze and he held onto your wrists.

“I-” He tried to pull you down to hug you but you fought back.  You got off him and rolled down beside him. 

“Hendery I want a divorce”

[kz-i-co]

Within This Room: Part II

» Summary: In fear of ruining an engagement might sending you packing sooner then you thought.

» Pairing: Taeyong x Reader

» Genre: smut x angst

» Words: 3.3k

» Part 1  ╫ Part 3

» m.list ╫ nct 127 masterlist

-

"Hi." You froze. "I'm (Y/N)."

"Nice to meet you." She smiled warmly. "How do you know Taeyong."

"Oh we're old friends."

"Of course, you went to this school. Such a shame what's happening."

You just nodded awkwardly as Taeyong was distracting himself from something in the distance. He was uncomfortable as much as you.

"I better help my mom, but it was nice to meet you." You said and quickly took off.

"I can't do this. I should of never come." You panicked as you made it over to your sister.

"Whats wrong?" She asked.

"His fiancé is here."

Your sister followed your eyes. "Oh shit, he's engaged?" She laughed but didn't realize how it was effecting you. "What's wrong it's been 6 years since you both were together."

"I know it's crazy but I think I still have feeling for him and I probably fucked up everything last night."

"Wait-"

"Girls come help me with these." Your mother was calling you over.

"What happened?" Your sister was trying to get it out of you while heading over to your mother.

"I can't tell you here. Later."

"These are being sent to the board, so put these in his box." Your mother handed you some plaques of different achievements.

....

"Ooo, your year book." Taeyong and his fiancé were helping out in the library and she happened to find the 2014 class yearbook. "Can't wait to see how handsome my man was."

Taeyong just turned his back going through another shelf not fazed. He couldn't stop thinking about you and last night. He couldn't help himself from smiling at how beautiful you have become.

"You were prom King? You didn't tell me you were popular. I mean I could of guessed but..." She laughed to herself. She flipped through more pages seeing you and Taeyong together more and more. "Wait a minute? That girl from earlier is your ex?"

"Taeyong?" She raised her voice getting his attention.

"What?" She held up the book stating the obvious.

"What's your point? I don't ask you about your ex's." He shrugged.

"Looks like you guys are still close?" She said getting annoyed.

"We've only seen each other for the first time yesterday in 6 years." He said then turned back towards his books.

She didn't pressure him any further since the atmosphere was tense.

....

"Come on, lets take a break. There's plenty of food from last night." Your mother said. "So have you caught up with Taeyong last night?"

"Yeah." You smiled sarcastically not really wanting to talk about it.

"I can't believe he's engaged. I was hoping the sparks were still there-"

"Mom.....please let's stay out of their business. Okay." Your sister looked at you with concern.

"She's not even that pretty." Your sister whispered as she bumped you with her elbow.

"Not nice." The fact was that she was EXTREMELY pretty. She was clean and priss and she seemed to have her life together.

....

You were taking your old prize winners (paintings) to your car, clearly struggling to the car as your mother and sister were way ahead of you.

You took a deep breath as you stopped for a second to take a breather.

"Let me help you." He took the canvas off your hands and you finally could see in front of you at the handsome face that still caused butterflies.

"Thank you. I don't even know why I'm taking this old junk." There was a huge dumpster to clean out the school and you were just tempted to toss the old embarrassment but your mother insisted on keeping them as a reminder of how far you've come.

"It's not junk (Y/N)." He chuckled and looked behind him losing his smile. "Actually I was wondering if we could talk about last night? How long are you staying?" He said more quietly.

"Well a few days the most. But I can't stay away from work for that long."

"You want to go out for dinner tonight. Jaehyun and Mark are here for the weekend."

"Hanging out with your bro's like old times? Huh?" You teased.

"Also Johnny and Ren will be there as well since they are engaged-"

"Johnny is her new fiancé? They hated each other."

"I guess they just had sexual attraction for each other."

"I see." You giggled.

"May I keep this?" He was referring to your old painting.

"It's all yours." You laughed at his ridiculous question.

"See you later." He walked away leaving to travel back alone.

....

"How do I look?" Your sister said as you finally finished your sketch.

"Beautiful." You turned your book around.

"Wow. I look so cute." She smiled. "May I keep it?"

"Sure." You rolled your eyes as you tore out the page out of your sketch book.

"Have you ever thought about selling your art work on eBay? I saw it on tik tok."

"You and that app are driving me crazy." You giggled.

"I get bidders at the gallery, they're just all cheapskates in the city." You continued.

"Your art deserves more credit. You should be making MILLIONS." Your sister was over dramatic like usual.

"Unfortunately that doesn't happen to an artist until their dead." Your sister pouted at your dark response.

"You're no fun. But anyway are you and Taeyong hanging out tonight? Did I hear dinner?"

"It's a friendly get together and it's not just me, it's with some old friends."

"Okay." She smirked. "Just be careful."

You sat there to think. Not just what your sister said but over everything. Last night was a mistake and you had to straighten it out. If Taeyong was happy with his fiancé, you couldn't ruin it for your own selfishness.

...

You decided on a simple black dress with a denim jacket and doc martens and you waited outside for your Uber driver and before you know it you were standing outside the restaurant, too scared to even go in.

"(Y/N)! Oh my god!" You heard screaming and all of a sudden you were being crushed by two pairs of arms. Once you got to turn around and make contact, you were faced with a pink hair Ren.

You hugged her back tightly as you both screamed causing Johnny to plug his ears. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how are you?" You responded. "Your hair is pink."

"My hair is pink. I didn't think you could get more gorgeous, you suck Miss Prom Queen." She laughed.

"You're gorgeous. And you're engaged I hear....to him?" You looked at Johnny with a teasing look.

"I know, it's insane." She laughed.

"So where were you last night?" You asked.

"I don't care about some dumb school reunion. I had better things to do." She continued. "Come on let's get inside. It's freezing."

You followed her and Johnny inside ready to begin your night. You took a deep breath as you saw Taeyong looking beautiful as ever. You can do this. You can be just friends right?

There was a few more of his friends already at the table as well once the host assisted you.

"(Y/N)! How's it going I haven't seen you in forever." Mark was the first to get up and hug you.

"Where were you guys last night? I missed you." You said still embraced in his arms and eventually made your way around to Jaehyun and Doyoung.

"I couldn't make it and these guys had their own reunion." Mark said taking his seat.

"We already got a lecture from Dayoung." Ren said as you sat down between her and Taeyong.

"Speaking of Dayoung, where is she?" You asked.

"She was gonna come but she's having a lot of back pain so she rather stay home."

"When is her baby due?" You continued to ask since you lacked information from your old friends.

"December 7."

"That's just a little over a month." You couldn't believe she was that pregnant.

"I know." She laughed. "But she might be sooner then that, her baby is already 8lbs."

"Can I get you something to drink." The waitress was finally here cutting off your conversation.

"Soju?" Johnny asked and everyone agreed. You on the other hand rather stick with a simple water but your friends insisted and you didn't want to seem lame now you were older.

....

"You idiot, you were the reason we got caught skipping 4th period." Ren and Mark were arguing non stop and the alcohol on top was causing more of a scene but the rest of you were laughing, enjoying the show.

"Was not. You were the one that went to the wrong car."

"You said it was your car."

"No I said it looked like my car."

"Will you two just shut up." Doyoung took another sip.

"Shall we get going soon? I rather talk to you alone." Taeyong spoke quietly next to you, only you can hear.

You nodded. "Alright guys, we're going to head out." Taeyong pulled out his wallet and tossed cash on the table.

"Where are you two going?" Ren pouted.

"I promised (Y/N) I'd drive her home and I don't want to be out later then Jiyoon gets out of work." He made a concerned expression.

"You two still fighting?" Mark asked as you and Taeyong got up.

"It's every little thing with her, but she's been better." He nodded.

"Alright man, take care.....you to (Y/N) it was nice seeing you." You both said your goodbyes.

"Promised me a ride?" You teased your tone being flirtier then you wanted.

"Well, I needed to talk to you about last night. Alone." He began as he guided you to his car.

You bit your lip awkwardly, wanting to avoid the whole thing. You wanted to just pretend it didn't happen and move on.

You got in the car waiting for him to begin but he was just as uncomfortable as you. "Are you alright to drive?"

"I only had one shot. I feel fine." He looked at you leaning your head on the seat. "What about you?"

"I'm not driving." You looked at him confused.

"No I mean, how are you?" He laughed. "You good." He waved his hand in front of your face.

You laughed smacking his hand away playfully. "I only had two shots."

You both laughed until the car filled with silence as he finally took off.

"Do you ever miss being back here?" He asked.

"A little. But I love where I live."

"So you have no thoughts on moving back?" You were surprised from his sudden question.

"No. I mean I love my family but I live in my dream home now.....well....a nicer apartment would be nice." You giggled not realizing the car stopped outside of your house.

"Do I have to wait another six years to see you?" He asked turning the mood down again. "I want us to stay friends (Y/N)."

"We can. We can FaceTime and-"

"So until you're back for the holidays?"

"I really can't afford to visit, that's why I don't.....If I sell a piece, I get $1000 the most and that only goes to my bills and food-"

"I get it (Y/N). It's okay. I just miss you that's all." You both made eye contact and you could feel the pain he was holding.

"We left things off, really shitty." You started. "Especially me."

"You were hurt, I get it." He shrugged.

"I just want to apologize......And also apologize for last night. It was wrong and I'm sorry for everything." You continued. "Just seeing that room........you, I missed my old life."

"I just.....I don't want to leave thinking I caused so much chaos. It's probably just best if we pretend it didn't happen. You're fiancé seems to be really nice and I just want you guys to be happy."

"You're right." He said causing your lip to tremble. You knew he was thinking the same thing, you didn't know why it was so unexpected.

"R-right, exactly."

"It was wrong." You nodded. "But that doesn't mean I want to pretend it didn't happen."

"Taeyong I want you to understand my intentions.....I don't want to-"

You were cut off with his lips attached to yours. Your heart was beating faster then it ever was before. What was he doing? You were hesitant to responde but there was comfort with his lips. A feeling only he could cause. He gently caressed his hand around your neck bringing you closer as the kiss deepened.

The kiss grew more desperate quickly as he pulled you to straddle his lap. He had his hands under your dress caressing your thighs. You couldn't help but rock against him causing more friction between the both of you. He moaned against your lips from by the way you effected him. You had to pull away to catch your breath but quickly leaned down farther to kiss down his jaw.

He pushed your jacket down and letting it fall behind you, hitting the wheel as you were taking your time with his buttons letting more of his chest to be exposed.

He brought his lips back towards yours before he was working on the top of your dress letting it fall off your chest exposing your strapless bra. He was quick to kiss down your chest letting your bra fall more uncomfortably. You could feel him full erected underneath you as you were still rocking against him.

His breathing became heavier that he stopped what he was doing to lean his head against the back of the seat for a second. He looked you in the eyes before they drifted down focusing on your undies. You lifted yourself to help take them off as you began to unbuckle his pants. You gently took him in your hand and slowly jerked him only enough to lubricate. You leaned forward guiding him in and relaxed as you could adjust.

His muffled sounds were so beautiful as you began your movements. The pleasure was unreal. You only wish it was only a dream, to save you from trouble. You knew it was wrong but why couldn't you stop?

You leaned down kissing him passionately as you quickened your pace. Once you lifted for air, you grabbed his hands leading them to your chest. You tilted your head back enjoying the pleasure.

As you felt like you were lost in your own world, he grabbed your hips helping you keep the rhythm. You moved your hand to the front of your folds to guide your climax closer to the edge. Just as you were about to release, he beat you to it causing the room to spin. You felt numbness scattered throughout your body.

You collapse on top of his body as you both could catch your breath. You felt happy at the moment, like you didn't want to move but the guilt came rushing back causing you quickly run away. You got yourself redressed as Taeyong looked at you with concern.

"This was a mistake." You felt your eyes water. Taeyong was quick to dress as well from you being so upset. "I shouldn't have come back here."

"I'm sorry Taeyong but we can't see each other anymore, not even as friends." You were panicked.

"(Y/N) this is my dumb mistake too."

"Unless you're ending it with your fiancé, I can't be in the picture no more." You looked at him for a response but he looked down staying silent.

"Okay then. Goodbye."

He grabbed your hand before you could leave the car. "You're just upset. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"No because as long as we're alone together I can't help my feelings around you and that's not fair for your fiancé."

"I can't anymore." You finally left his car and quickly made your way inside. Why were you so weak?

-

You've done it again. You had to leave as soon as possible, the guilt was killing you.

"You leaving?" Your sister asked as she saw you packing your bag.

"Yeah, Haejin called me and said I'm needed back at work." You lied.

"Oh." She pouted.

"Aren't you leaving? You have school tomorrow."

"I'm leaving tonight." She was lucky she had a car.

"A few more years and you can live with me." You winked.

"Sure." She smiled.

"There's one more thing I want to do before I go, can I borrow the car?" She nodded and you quickly left so you can go back home.

You stopped at a cute little townhouse village and followed the number Mark gave you. You just hoped it wasn't some random address giving you more chances not to trust him. You knocked on the door and waited until someone finally answered it, causing your stomach to drop.

"Oh hi (Y/N)." Jiyoon smiled at you but it didn't feel very genuine.

"Hi. I'm leaving I just wanted to say goodbye to Taeyong." You said sweetly.

"Taeyong is at work unfortunately." She shrugged.

"Oh. Just let him know I said goodbye and oh yeah....congratulations for you two."

"Thank you. We still don't know our date but it's probably the beginning of next year the latest."

"Can I be honest with you (Y/N)?" You looked at her confused. "I know you and Taeyong were very serious and I can't help but feel a little uncomfortable with you two still being close."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." You looked at her with concern to hide the fact you really wanted to pull her hair out.

"I have bad experiences with ex's too and I have to compromise for Tae so I'm sorry if I make him do the same thing."

"You have nothing to worry about. I live in Seoul."

"Oh that's great." She smiled at you once again and it seemed more fake then before. "I hope you don't get offended if I don't invite you to our wedding."

"I'm sorry but is Taeyong okay with that?" You finally showed your real expressions.

"He'll understand."

"Taeyong and I split up 6 years ago."

"Like I said compromise."

"Maybe I should talk to Taeyong about this?"

"I'll doubt he'll talk to you."

"Why's that?" You crossed your arms.

"I don't know. He just seemed pissed off at you after he came home last night. He even tossed your painting in our garbage. Did you want it back?" Fake fake fake.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I'm not sure why.....Have a great day....." You walked back to the car. "Bitch."

You didn't know what to believe. He could be upset the way you left last night but on the other hand he seemed more upset then angry. Was she lying? The best thing was to just get back home and that's what you did.

The train seemed longer then on your way there, probably from your lack of sleep that eat up the time last time. You couldn't get Taeyong out of your head. Even if she was lying, it was still clean you weren't invited to the wedding. How messed up is that?

The worst part of it all was you never got the chance to ask for Taeyong's cell number. You couldn't imagine him having the same phone from 6 years ago.

You got off the train, being greeted by Haejin. "I never missed you so much in my life."

"So how was everything?"

"Terrible." She looked at you concerned as you got in her car. "I did something really bad."

"I saw my high school sweetheart again."

"Okay?" Haejin listened.

"And we kind of slept together.....twice."

"What's wrong with that?" Haejin winked.

"He's engaged.....and the worst part is I still have feelings for him."

-

to be continued....

[chemicalpink]

BTS reaction to: finding out you used to dance ballet

Pairing: reader x BTS + reader x Platonic!BTS at the end

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff + crack 

A/N: I am having trouble writing bc *sigh* life BUT here’s something new I’m trying out. There is a platonic OT7 at the end so yeah... thanks for reading I hope you like it!

Masterlist ♡ Requests

Ｋｉｍ Ｓｅｏｋｊｉｎ ♡

“Jin, baby, you’re not supposed to let your arm fall down during the turn,” you said with a light chuckle as your boyfriend tried to rehearse his part to the new Black Swan choreography, you’ve seen him and the rest of the members practice a lot but their usual dancing style was foreign to you, not this time though.

“Oh smart pants, are we?” he laughed as he readjusted his position and you made your way to where he was standing, holding his arm up while he turned

“If you maintain your arm stretched up, you’ll have more balance, trust me”

He looked at you puzzled and you sighed smiling fondly at the memories of all the years dancing was your life passion 

“I used to be a ballet dancer, Jin, just listen to me okay?” you positioned yourself to make the turn the way he was supposed to and he couldn’t help but keep staring at you. He just couldn’t believe you had never told him that you used to dance ballet.

Ｍｉｎ Ｙｏｏｎｇｉ ♡

Kids were running around the Min’s house for Yoongi’s mother birthday, and while you were amazed at them, Yoongi just held his soju tighter as one of his nieces made her way to him dressed in a pink tutu.

“Look uncle Yoongi! I’ll be a ballerina when I grow up!” her eyes shining as she showed off her messily tied ballet shoes

“Ah… that’s nice, kid” you turned to look at him in disbelief and you lightly swatted his forearm for being so cold

“Yoongi! be nice to her” he couldn’t help but smile as you crouched down to fix her shoes and before he could notice, the little girl had your hand in hers and asked you to dance with her.

The sight was lovely, up until you landed a perfect triple pirouette in the middle of his parent’s living room, your body not faltering once and all the kids cheering at you asking you to do more, and boy did you delivered… once, twice… five consecutive turns and a perfect landing had him placing his hand over his mouth and his eyes expanding in disbelief, why had you never mentioned you were able to dance ballet?

Ｊｕｎｇ Ｈｏｓｅｏｋ ♡

Hoseok had always liked to be the first one to arrive at the studio when they had a new choreographer coming and this was no exception, dragging you along to come with him, you planning to just chill while the boys practised, but that all changed when the choreographer’s voice resonated in the room, making you look up

“Y/N?!” 

“Chong Sun? Oh my god I haven’t seen you in forever!” you went to hug him as your boyfriend tried to comprehend what was going on 

“You two know each other?” he asked, a tone of jealousy in his voice

“We used to study together baby”

“May I just say- I don’t know what you need me for when your girlfriend can do the best grand jeté the world has ever seen” Hoseok just smirked at that, obviously taken aback that you had never told him you used to be a ballet dancer but even prouder that the man standing before him knew that you were his.

Ｋｉｍ Ｎａｍｊｏｏｎ ♡

“Thanks again for helping me clean up, Joon” you said to your boyfriend as he carried some dusted boxes to your living room

“No problem babe, I’m glad I can help” he smiled his dimpled smile towards you as he sat on the floor  ready to discard things from the boxes, you making your way to your bedroom to clean your wardrobe until you heard a shriek from where Namjoon was that made you run towards him

“Wh-what is it?!!” 

“Y/N you never told me you were a ballet dancer!” he said in disbelief as he turned your way with a photo of yours in his hand

“Oh yeah… I was just a kid back then” you smiled fondly at the photo and tried to store it once again but Namjoon snatched the photo from your hand

“I’m keeping this”

Ｐａｒｋ Ｊｉｍｉｎ ♡

Jimin was no stranger to classical dance, him being a former contemporary dancer himself. One evening as he was lazing around your apartment he found a photo book that was way too familiar for him.

“Y/N?” you turned towards him handling the small black yearbook in his hands and almost giggled “Why do you have my high school yearbook?” 

“Because…” you trailed off as you took it from him, opening it to show your high school self in one of the photos “It’s mine”

“WHAT NO WAY! Y/N! YOU’RE THAT Y/N?!” he couldn’t believe his eyes as he searched for his own picture a few pages away from yours only to notice that, in fact, you were both in the same high school, just different classes “I had the biggest crush on you back then, how could I never notice?”

“It’s just that I don’t walk around in a high bun and pink tights anymore”

“Well you should,” he said playfully smacking your butt and laughing, still dumbfounded as to why he was just hearing about this.

Ｋｉｍ Ｔａｅｈｙｕｎｇ ♡

With comeback season right behind the corner, BigHit’s studios were filled to a top so the boys had to schedule a room in a dancing academy downtown for after-hours practice, you right by their side as their moral support. A few minutes into their practice, a lady came rushing in almost breathless

“By any chance, any of you can volunteer to give a ballet class to third graders? One of my teachers is sick and-” the boys looked puzzled and you immediately pushed yourself from the floor, ready to take the challenge, even after some years of not dancing.

“I’ll do it”

“Y/N? Third grade is no easy stuff, you know” Taehyung said– as if he knew a thing about ballet

“Third grade you said?” the lady nodded excitedly, “I think I recall the classes, don’t worry about me, you guys keep practising” Tae’s jaw dropped open, he had never heard before that you used to attend ballet classes.

You followed the lady, whom you guessed was the director and completely aced the class, not missing the way Taehyung kept missing his practice to go steal glances at your movements through the door window, completely in awe.

Ｊｅｏｎ Ｊｕｎｇｋｏｏｋ ♡

You never actually quit being a dancer even after finishing high school and not entering a company, so when one of the boys’ dance studio was empty and had the door unlocked you couldn’t hold your excitement as your body started remembering all those times you spent in a studio similar to this one. Putting your phone on shuffle and stretching, the dance of the sugarplum fairy came up and as you closed your eyes it was like your feet had a mind of their own, hitting each step perfectly, ending the song in a perfectly executed courtesy, opening your eyes to an over-excited round of applause from your boyfriend.“Jagi that was- wow I have no words” he came rushing to you, peppering kisses all over your face as you grew embarrassed “It had been a very long time,” you said looking down, suddenly missing the way you were able to dance to the perfect beat.“ You were amazing” he kissed your lips softly “If you teach me, we could dance a duet”“It’s called a pas de deux, Kook” you laughed as he prepared himself to start learning from you.

ＯＴ７ Ｐｌａｔｏｎｉｃ ♡

Bangtan was once again starring on weekly idol, and although they had been in the show before, nothing could have prepared them for what the MCs had in stock for them.

“Okay this is an easy one,” Hyeong-don said as he read from his cards “There’s this one person in your staff that is able to do-wow is this true?” he looked at the producer for confirmation “75 one leg turns in a go, they’re a friend of yours so please guess”

The boys just looked at each other in disbelief, to which Defconn decided to give them a hint 

“They used to be a soloist on Korea’s National Ballet Company” the time announcing that they would receive a punishment was over and you were rushed from backstage to the set, becoming flustered, and the boys’ jaws dropping, from all people they would have never guessed it was you.

“So is it true?” Hyeong-Don asked

“75? yeah, it- it was my personal record” you laughed as the MCs asked you for a demonstration; a few seconds and 80 turns after, ARMY was sure to be fed with amazing meme GIFs from the boys’ reactions to your pirouettes.

[mxrcayong]

let it unfold - chapter seven

chapter seven

day twenty-eight (still):

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dart so fast.” Katie hoped to lighten the mood as she came in to the flat, seeing Mark coddled surrounded by blankets on the couch; watching random, stupid television.

Mark sighed, “I’m sorry. I just thought about what you said you wanted to do the fir-.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” Katie said sympathetically as she dropped the groceries she bought on the counter of the kitchen, “Never be sorry with me. Especially for that. You don’t control that.”

He groaned, “But I do! I should’ve been more careful! I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Katie looked into his eyes from across the room; Mark looked broken, and it didn’t help he was presumably fresh out the shower and looked so small on the couch, drenched in large blankets. “I shouldn’t have forgotten who I was.”

“Mark, no.” She quickly interjected, her voice becoming serious. He only ever hear her use this voice once before and that was when her boss called her about something to do with a kids behavior. “You are Mark Lee. You are a human like every one of us. Paparazzi here, yeah – they’re shittier than the ones in Korea, but you do not control them. None of this was your fault.” As she was saying this, she approached him so that she was now sitting in front of him. “You are Mark Lee. The Canadian-Korean boy who knows just how to make his friends burst out laughing,” make my heart race, she thought, “and who just so happens to be fucking talented at dancing and singing and rapping” and incredibly good looking, she thought to herself once more.

Mark didn’t know how to respond; he knew if he didn’t say anything and if the two remained in this position, he might do something he’ll regret and kiss her. “What did you buy?” He asked, his voice small and fragile.

“I bought dough, Soju, beer, cheese, tomato sauce, noodles, chicken broth, ramen, and so much more so we can get your mind off of this and we can cook your favorite foods and some pizza for a movie night.” She smiled, “And then we should probably go to the gym tomorrow but we can make even more food tomorrow.”

day twenty-nine

Mark wanted to get used to waking up with Katie in his arms. He practically begged her to stay the night prior but seeing her in the morning; with her hair in literal knots and her face showing all of her perfect imperfections – made his heart swell and reminded him this was a good decision.

He woke up earlier than he has been this trip; and spent most of that time thinking about the girl in his arms. He has felt how he’s been feeling around her before; but never this intense. He guesses its because romantic relationships has never been a priority with him – just performing was. But now, as it’s the forefront; all he wants to do is kiss her. He has the urge to be able to call her his. He sees her and sees something that he thinks is too good, too pure to be on this world – and she’s in his arms. He wants her to be there forever.

“Stop staring, you creep.” She mumbled, adjusting in her sleep. “Go back to sleep.” He chuckled at her sleep-heavy voice.

“I will,” He sighed, “in a bit.” He reached out and felt for his phone and immediately was greeted by an influx of messages from the NCT boys – the only people from SM he didn’t currently block.

Jaehyun: I think you’d want to know…dispatch and the news outlets here found the photos of you two

It was when he logged onto the NCT twitter he saw that #MarkLeeGirlfriend was trending. Fuck.

day thirty

Mark couldn’t feel luckier that the person he was with right now was Katie; who already knew he wanted to lay low and just stay in the AirBnB until it all blows over, even if it means spending their last days – originally planned to visit the valley and the bridge again – holed up inside.

“So, Netflix and food or food and Netflix?” Katie asked, holding up the delivery they just ordered.

“How about comida y Netflix?” Mark said, trying to come up with another combination.

“You dork.” She busted out in laughter, a smile painting her face. Mark felt accomplished seeing the smile on her face.

“But I’m your dork.” Mark didn’t fail to see her hesitation in her next response.

“I guess so.”

day thirty-one

Mark woke up surprisingly early for once; the first thing he planned on doing was getting ready and taking extra precautions with hiding his identity. Today was their last full day in his home and he feels like he needs more time here. Particularly, he feels like he needs more time with Katie to deal with his complicated feelings before having to be devoured by work.

He smiled at the sight of Katie at the kitchen; her hair was wet and cascading down her back in clusters of hair, wearing one oversized hoodie she’s stolen over their two years of friendship. He thinks it’s Johnny’s or Jaehyun’s hoodie. He wishes it was his.

An overpowering smell of bacon filled his nose. “Oh my God,” Mark exclaimed, “That smells amazing.”

Katie jumped at the sound of his voice, making him chuckle as he approached her. “You absolute dickhead! You scared me.” He chuckled, now standing beside her. “I’m making sure our last day here starts out right with…” As Katie put the spatula down, she reached down the cupboards. “Pizza bagels and bacon!”

“Oh my God,” Usually he’d respond with a simple phrase consisting of three words; those were the three words at the tip of his tongue, but saying it would only make his feelings known – especially now that they have a different meaning. “You’re amazing, you know that?” He substituted, making Katie chuckle and playfully flip her hair over her shoulder.

“I know.”

It felt like all the tension from the previous days have disappeared; the two were only consumed with the reminder that today was the last day they have with only each other for a while. “So, the plan of the day is…” Mark sat down at the marble counter that acted as a dining table, using it as a drum sets as he pulled out the plans the two had set prior. “We go on a bike ride around the city, meet up with friends at the market for a meal, walk down the beach, come home, and then binge movies with food that we make to use up all the ingredients you bought prior because my God girl, you bought a lot!” He exaggerated, making Katie roll her eyes as she put the bacon on the two plates.

“Now tell me those aren’t the work of a master-chef.”

“They aren’t.” Mark gave her a straight look, before bursting out laughing at her jokingly-shocked reaction. “No, they are, they are.”

Katie still faked offence, “Say that to your world-famous eggs.”

~~~~~~~

Mark knew he had to tell her tonight or not at all. It didn’t help that, knowing tonight is the night, she looked even more intimidatingly gorgeous. She just took a shower so any make up from the day was gone; she looked tired, but she looked freshly tired. Her hair was blow-dryed and looking soft and shiny in her messy bun. She was wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of spandex and Mark was enamored. He was speechless by her; she’s so effortlessly beautiful and he knew she had his heart.

He wasn’t confused about his feelings anymore; he wasn’t confused as they cuddled into their spare blankets on the floor of the sofa beds in the living room the two had set up to spend the last night together. He wasn’t confused as they shared a bowl of ramen and whatever food they could come up with the leftover ingredients. He wasn’t confused when they shared a bowl of ice cream.

“Okay, I’m saying we go for a horror movie next.” Katie proposed, peeling the blankets off of her and standing up. Mark readjusted, so he’s sitting with his legs crossed. His glasses made his eyes particularly doe-like. Katie found him magnetic to look at; from his hair being all fluffy, to his green hoodie making him look like a ‘small bean’ and just enough for her to embrace. All she wanted to do was kiss him.

Mark just nodded; speechless, as he has increasingly become more silent over the night. “Okay, you’re not the Mark I know –.” She retook her place, now sitting crisscrossed in front of him. She put their knees together and leaned forward, forcing Mark into eye contact. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He sighed, licking his lip before biting it. He held his finger out. “You know how you say people who break pinky promises are the biggest villains of them all?” Katie nodded suspiciously. “Well, can you pinky-promise when after I say this and it doesn’t work out as I hope, we’ll still be good?”

She linked her pinky in his, “What’s up bubs?”

“Katie, I think I’m falling for you.” He said quickly, but Katie was able to understand him. He was hesitant to use the L word.

“Haha, Mark, cut it.” Katie laughed instinctively. “You’re just being dumb.”

“No, Katie, I love you. I do; I love the way you smile and the way you care about me. I love how you stand on your tip toes when you order anything, or how you always hum when theres silence. I love how you make me feel. Most importantly, I love who you help me be. I love who I am with you.”

Katie felt speechless. “Mark, you swear you’re not saying this because you’re here? Because I’m here?” She’s hesitant, she’s worried. She dreamt of this, but she’s always scared of commitment. She didn’t want to lose him because he didn’t think this through. “Mark, you may say this now but I don’t want you to go back to Korea and realize you could have anyone better than me – maybe an idol – and then regret everything.”

Mark smiled softly, biting his lip. “There’s no one better than you for me, Katie.” He sighed, “I never noticed how being around you made me feel different than it was supposed to. I thought it was what its like to have a female best friend – but no, I felt butterflies. I felt the happiest around you. Katie, please say you feel the same.”

She didn’t respond with words; she just leaned in and pressed her lips against his. Within minutes, Mark had pushed her down on the sofa bed – hovering over her as they make out.

“Oh my god,” Katie said breathless, “This is so cliché” She said through heavy breaths between their kisses. They’re both breathless; lips practically bruised from the amount of times their lips met passionately. But their lips barely met the beginning of it; they have a whole month worth of making up to do.

day thirty-two

It felt like her lips lingered on his; the taste of her vanilla lip balm a reminder of what happened last night. That, and the way they slept more closely than they have before; their legs tangled together, both of them in their undergarments, and her arms thrown tightly around his chest. The smell of lavender from her shampoo wafted into his nose; and he immediately smiled waking up. Their clothes from their rather intense make out session were thrown onto the floor. Mark was glad Katie ended it there; he wanted to take things slow with her. He didn’t want to mess anything up, so once Katie had fallen asleep; he went to take a cold shower and immediately went back in her arms.

Now, as he rested with the girl of his dreams asleep in his arms, he was hit with a sudden realization; we’re going home. And he doesn’t know if they can stay like this.

[linoholic]

poly!JJP

Requested:

Pairing: Got7 Park Jinyoung x Im Jaebum x gender neutral Reader

Genre: poly!au, normal/idolverse

Warnings: sexual themes, but nothing explicit

I must admit a lot of inspiration came from the Tomorrow Today music video. Also, sorry for the long wait 😬 first my laptop broke, then last night the radiator in my room broke and water was everywhere, even leaking down to the living room, and both my parents are out so I am the only adult in the house and have to sort it out with the plumber etc.

anyways

onto the au

get ready to be a parent to 5 kids

because if your dating the mum and dad of got7 that is what you automatically are

and you have been dating Jinyoung and JB since the ‘Bounce’ days

you were one of the lighting assistants working on the teaser photo shoot

during which you got to know them, as you were one of the few people actually close to their age

you quickly became closer to them both; and soon enough feelings started popping up

both of the boys gained crushes on you, and started competing for your affection, turning it into a competition of sorts

until it started affecting their relationship as JJP, at which point they sat down with each other and had a long chat

which……somehow ended up with them making out

yeah,,,they don’t know how it happened either

turns out as well as liking you, they both lowkey liked each other as a bit more than just friends

the next day, after this, 'revelation’ they approach you together

and it’s a little intimidating

both of them had their serious faces on, and they had cornered you at your apartment, so that you couldn’t avoid the conversation and run away like they thought you might

as it was though, they needn’t have worried as you had a feeling of what they wanted to talk about

I mean, they hadn’t exactly been discreet about the crushes they had on you, and being close to them had made you aware of this,,,'sexual tension’,,,between them

so it wasn’t exactly a surprise when five minutes after they approached you, you were all making out (during which Jinyoung comments “déjà vu” which leads to them explaining everything)

from that point on you three are officially together

you are their biggest supporter while they are JJ Project

and then when Got7 becomes a thing you hype them up during practices, and are their shoulder to lean on during the harder moments

you have also known the other boys from the start, and they have known about you

because despite how JB and Jinyoung are pretty private people, they love you to pieces and will talk about you forever if asked

and while you do become a sort of third parent to the boys, you are the first to join them when one of your boyfriends is getting teased

especially with Yugyeom

you team up and become JJPs biggest fans and annoyances

and when they have their 'Tomorrow, Today’ comeback, it gets even worse so they resort to shutting you up with kisses

(only you, Yuggie just gets hit)

the boys also tend to use you as a shield if Jinyoung or JB are annoyed at them or something, as you are good at distracting and calming them down

just as often as you can be found teasing your boyfriends, you can also been seen in the backgrounds judging Mark and the younger kids with them

you three know each other so well that talking isn’t needed between you

you just share a look and know what the other is thinking

it just so happens that usually those thoughts are “these people are weird”

(oh darlings, have you ever seen yourselves? you are just as weird. Just look at that one Just Right dp)

as you have probably noticed, kissing is mentioned a bit

and that is because our boys love it

I mean, when they have kissing punishments, have you seen how unabashedly Jinyoung carries them out?

also, his lips are perfect for kissing and he knows it, so he is often the one to make advances

not that youn or Jaebum mind,,who would?

and if it happens in front of the boys, any teasing is quickly shut up, either by bribing or scaring, it usually depends on the mood

cuddling doesn’t happen much in the relationship, but hugs do

Jaebum loves to give backhugs, wrapping his arms around you as you brushing your teeth in the morning after they spend the night during days off; or curling his arms around Jinyoungs waist as they rest during practice

Jinyoung can often be found laying down on his phone or reading with you or JB tucked under his shoulder or using him as a pillow

which happens a lot when they are at your place during time off

they basically live at your place by now, only still really living at the dorms for convenience, and because they don’t trust the boys on their own long term without someone dying quite yet

both of them have their own styles, and so you have a lot of fun raiding their closets for different outfits, stealing Jinyoungs button ups and Jaebums oversized t-shirts

and though they may complain they really don’t mind as much as they make it seem, because seeing you in their clothes is actually a little bit of a turn on

dates are usually just time alone indoors, as they will take any chance to relax from their busy schedules, and neither of them are particularly outgoing or energetic

sometimes you will watch a movie and eat takeaway

other times you do board games or complete jigsaw puzzles together

there are even times when you are just content with each others presence, not talking and reading your own books, with just the random giggles from reading a funny line, which never ceases to bring a soft smile to the faces of the other two

you do get out of the house for dates though

usually to a restaurant or Hongdae for street food

you and Jinyoung love it when JB gets drunk, as he gets so silly and it is hilarious, and also a good source of blackmail material which Jinyoung hoards, never knowing when he will need to use it against the leader

so when you do go out on dates, chicken and beer or Korean barbeque with soju all around are usually on the itinerary

matching couple items aren’t really a thing between you

but you do all have the same ring 

which sends fan and shippers into a craze when they spot the boys wearing them (you being out of the medias eyes of course)

and you all have a picture of the three of you together as you phone backgrounds

it’s of you three huddled together in front of the Han River at sunset, taken by Jackson, during a night where ot7+1 went to the riverside for fried chicken after a gruelling practice

speaking of which, you often attend their practices which food and drinks in tow, and a positive attitude

because being with JJP for so long means you are very aware of what an idols life is like, all the ups and downs, because you have been there for your boys through every single one

so when you turn up to the JYP building (where you easily get in because everyone knows you by now) you often take on the leadership role, allowing Jaebum to take a break and just be one of the boys, even if for only 10 minutes

and they love you so much for doing things like this

because you allow them to be normal men in their twenties

with you they can just be,,,instead of having to show the best side of themselves constantly

so of course, they make sure to give you their everything, and try to do as much for you as you do for them

whenever you have work but they have days off they can be found at your place, cleaning and making food for when you return

though they often get distracted by each other, because being in an empty house, alone, with no distractions in the form of schedules or other men, is very tempting

so it isn’t unusual to return from work only to find them,,,busy,,,with each other

and when they notice you are there, all attention is turned to you

let’s just say they know how to get you to relax

basically, you three have a very calm and mature relationship, and might as well be married the way you act

because look at you being cute and domestic with JBs cats and five kids

and actual peace and quiet for once

Definitely not my best or longest thing I have written, but my mind is all over the place right now and I needed to get something out.

Requests are open!

[bambyeol]

Noah Noah Noah

pairing/s:  Ong Seongwoo x OC  genre : angst, drama 

prompt : “I still can’t decide whether denim jackets make me nostalgic or depressed”  + “I found your box of letters underneath my bed and now I’m in front of your apartment wondering why we broke up”  credits to dailyauprompts

masterlist for other fanfics

a/n : When I don’t feel the Christmas vibes at all, so I continue to produce angst fics. Also, what happened when I got addicted to listening to Day6  ( ; ω ; )   (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡ The title is in reference to Letting Go by Day6 (Noh-a Noh-a Noh-a). LISTEN TO IT  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ and BREAK YOUR HEART TOO

Advance Merry Christmas to all  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Song inspiration : Letting Go by Day6 and Congratulations by Day6

Habits – they’re very easy to form. They say 21 times makes it all. From a foreign concept, an action becomes embedded into one’s body.

Maybe that’s why she found herself drinking on what seemed to be the tenth bottle of soju, and she admitted to being inebriated but that didn’t stop her to order three more bottles.

Yeonrin felt the bile rising, and she gagged but resisted the urge to throw up in the table. She blinked and squeezed her eyes to find the signage for the nearby restroom before unsteadily rising. She kicked away the nearby empty stools being the only customer left in the shop. After all, it was a Tuesday night.

The waiter eyed her carefully, testing whether she needed his assistance or not, but he was used to seeing Yeonrin drunk and capable, so he remained seated

She swayed and entered the bathroom before slumping into the toilet – vomiting dinner beer. She wasn’t like that before. At least not until the man named Ong Seongwoo came into her life.

He took care of her until it became a habit to lean on him. It became a habit to be by his side, but maybe it didn’t become a habit for him.

Habits – they’re very hard to break. That even if you lasted 21 days of avoiding it, all it took was one trigger and you’re back. It was forever etched into one’s body.

Maybe that’s why she found herself sitting on the dingy bathroom floor with remnants of vomit on the corner of her mouth, fingers busy with typing Seongwoo’s erased but memorized phone number instead of wiping.

“Seongwoo-ssi” she slurred when the line connected. Seongwoo always answered her calls. “Please pick me up,” she sobbed on the phone like a child finally finding the time to wipe the vomit.  

“I can’t… You know I work the night shift.” She should have been used to his rejection ever since their break-up. He always answered her calls, but never beyond. Always - he placed a clean line on their relationship and it hurt her more every time.

“I’ll wait for you.” She never learns though, and she always try to nudge him. Always trying to catch a glimpse of the Seongwoo who was her boyfriend. The always present Seongwoo.  

“Don’t be like this, Yeonrin. Give the phone to Jinyoung-ssi. He should be able to escort you.” She shook her head, and Jinyoung knocked on the bathroom stall. “Yeonrin-ssi?” He must have thought that she passed out in the bathroom stall again.

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry for calling you, Seongwoo…” she immediately cut the line before Seongwoo could reply. She unlocked the stall and saw Jinyoung’s towering height.  “I’m okay now.” she smiled at him and staggered a little. He managed to catch her through her arm but she immediately broke free.

“Jinyoung-ssi, don’t be too kind to girls. They’re weak to that.” As she scrummaged for paper bills from her wallet. “You forgot your jacket.” He reached for the denim jacket hung on his other arm and gave it to Yeonrin who paused for a few seconds before taking it.

She didn’t know how to feel whenever she saw that denim jacket, and whenever she found herself not forgetting to bring it with her. It was initially Seongwoo’s, but he caved in and gave it to her.  “You shouldn’t have given it to me,” she muttered under her breath before wearing it and leaving the pub.

“It’s been 7 months and you’re still not over him? He doesn’t deserve you. Don’t be stupid,” Seulla crossed her arms and stopped herself from taking a bite from her lunch. She nodded mutely, having heard the same words from Seulla for more than 10 times since they broke up.

“He won’t chase after you like he did before, you know. He’s bored already. I’m pretty sure he’s dating another person now.” She spat bitterly. All of which were valid arguments.

Ong Seongwoo was used to getting the attention of everyone.  Charming, funny, handsome – of course, all women and men alike would look his way. It was just a coincidence she was too busy with her own research when they first met. Too busy with her career to even notice. It ignited Seongwoo’s interest because honestly, could someone even resist him?  So he wooed her, and she fell for his charms just like the rest of them.

They dated for 2 and a half year before Seongwoo decided that it was enough and he moved out of their apartment. Just like that. No explanations left, just a little note on the dining table – I’m leaving now.

And she was stupid, much to the dismay of her profession. She was bright in logic, but feelings blurred it all away, so like a fool she chased after him. For a reason. Any possible reason that they could have broken up.

But she was always met with none.

“Why don’t you move out of your apartment?” Seulla suggested and she shook her head. “That’s too expensive, besides I still have a year left on the lease..”

“Then why don’t you finally let go of his things? You know, that denim jacket, his collection of cds, those sweaters, and many more.” She didn’t reply but for the whole day she thought about Seulla’s suggestion. 7 months was too long to cope with the breakup.

It was time to let go of them.

In the middle of her bedroom, Yeonrin opened a big box and immediately went to work. From the pictures of them together she kept neatly on her drawer, she looked at them for one last time before discarding them. She proceeded to the living room where he kept his prized cd possessions of girl groups. She remembered how Seongwoo gushed to her about them, and how he’d practice their dances to show it to her whenever she felt pissed of at him or whenever she felt down.

Then, opening her wardrobe, she segregated the clothes of Seongwoo that she loved to wear because of their comfort. She folded them and placed them inside the box. Lastly, she gathered his earrings and as she was about to place them inside, an earring rolled off beneath her bed.

She crouched and grabbed aimlessly only to feel a box beneath. She switches the flashlight on her phone and saw that there was indeed a box. Curious, she pulled it from the deepest reach of the bed and opened the lid.

Inside, the box was full of letters, and they were all addressed to her, and she recognized the handwriting. They belonged to Seongwoo. They had different dates, but she recognized them. From the day of their first date, to their 100 day anniversary to every monthsary. Halloween, Christmas, New Year, Valentines, White Day, and so on. He wrote a letter for her.

She sat on the edge of her bed and placed the box beside her where she opened the letters one by one. She wondered why he wrote her letters, but then she remembered that Seongwoo wasn’t a man of words. He expressed himself through his actions, but very rare were his ‘I love you’s’ , so he wrote them off instead. How he enjoyed the day with her, the memorable happenings to their little blunders even to the things that he should have done. He wrote them all.

She laughed at the letters and thought why didn’t he have the courage to give them all to her, but she knew Seongwoo was embarrassed to be the romantic even if he was one. Finally, she reached the final letter dated the day he moved out. The day he left without an explanation.

She opened the letter with trembling hands, and the paper felt heavier than the rest.

To Yeorinie

           I’m sorry. I’m sorry to leave. I’m sorry for not staying when all you have done is love me. But I love you, even by the time you read this letter, I assure you.

           But I’m scared. I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of hindering your future. I’m scared that there may come a time where you choose me over everything else, and I cannot return the same devotion. I’m afraid to leave you without a care, so while I still love you, I decided to leave, and hope that by the time you find this, you’ve already moved on and happy with another person.

Always. I’ll be Sincerely yours. Ong Seongwoo.

She blinked a couple of times. He was afraid to leave her so he left? What the fuck was with that? She didn’t know what to feel. Whether the emotions coursing inside her were of anger or of hurt or happiness or expectation, but her whole body moved swiftly. She grabbed the box of letters and the denim jacket hung on her chair as she left her apartment and travelled to his.

She stood outside his door panting and out of breath. She bit her lip as she decided to press the doorbell. She needed an explanation for that. She was still confused, but Seongwoo loves her.

Seongwoo loves her.

Seongwoo loves her.

That was enough.

The door opened to reveal a woman and Yeorin blanked out for a minute until she saw Seongwoo emerge from the hallway. “Seongwoo?” the woman turned around and he looked up from his cellphone. Immediately, his eyes landed on hers and he walked towards her. Yeorin didn’t know what sort of expression was on her face then, but she recognized the sweater the woman was wearing was Seongwoo’s because it was too large for her and she had seen Seongwoo wear that before.

“I think I interrupted something. I just came to return this,” and she pushed it quickly into Seongwoo’s hands and ran as fast as she could, tears blinding her eyes, sweat wetting her nape as she escaped from that place.

She stopped when her lungs felt like they were out of breath and her hands held tightly onto her thighs because she might suddenly pass out. It hurt.

It hurt so much.

And so frustrating

And so demeaning.

She laughed as tears continued running down her eyes. She wiped them using his denim jacket. Funny how another girl is now wearing something his. It made her cry more.

Always? Always her ass. Screw Ong Seongwoo and his always that lasted for 7 months.

Ong Seongwoo wasn’t a man of commitment. His past relationships functioned that way, and they were all aware of it. He was like a tornado – man of intensity but was quick to burn out and fade and what would be left off was just a disaster.

Yeorin was a woman of commitment – that he was aware of when his eyes first landed on her on the café he worked at. Round glasses, neat long-sleeved blouse beneath a white coat as she typed mercilessly on her research work.  She was like a drizzle – light, lengthy and whose effect was unnoticeable until she filled him up.

He was a man of experience. She wasn’t. But tornadoes and drizzle blend together until their 1 month turned to 6 months to 1 year to moving together and to 2 and a half years.  But tornadoes are frightening to stay for long, they were meant to stay for a few only. And he was well aware of how he was ruining Yeorin.

No. Those were just excuses. Truthfully, he was afraid. He loved her, but there was the uncertainty whether he could commit longer. He was used to leaving, but now he was afraid if one day he’d wake up and find no love for her and ultimately leave her like the rest of them.

He wasn’t a man of words, so he wrote them all away and kept them away from her. How he loved her dearly up to the day when his fear ate him up and like a coward he escaped before he could break her without a care. He kept them under her bed because he knew she wouldn’t check. Not that he didn’t hope that she would.

But he didn’t know how to explain himself, and he had too much pride to owe up to his mistakes - that he saw himself as the person who would cause their relationship to fail in the future. Ultimately, he was the person who left. He wasn’t ready to confess to her that maybe he still wasn’t ready for a long-term commitment.

And he liked it when she called him every time she was drunk. He liked the attention not the love?  It was such a dark feeling looming in him that he cannot help but hate himself in the process. How could he enjoy her tears?

He liked knowing that she cannot move on? Such a load of crap, honestly. Perhaps he liked the feeling of hindering her. Maybe that was it. Because she was bright. She had a successful career in front of her, and he knew that there were others who would be interested to date her because every time she dolled up during their dates, men can’t help but snatch a glance.

Still. He was unsettled with the thoughts inside his head. He still loved her, so he chased after her, but when he saw her standing in front of a park with the same jacket he gave her crying her eyes out, he got cold feet and returned to his apartment.

Maybe it was the last chance because even drizzles, they fade away.

Fin.

a/n : Happy angsty Christmas  (ಥ﹏ಥ) Hope you continue supporting my works, and hope you tell me what you thought about this ! Feel free to talk to me or send an ask.  

Will release an angst for Woojin next  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

masterlist for other fanfics

[solastia]

Beneath The Surface | 5

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 5,746

Genre & Warnings: Angst, very sad Hobi Hobi ( I feel like that should be an actual warning lol), some fluff, Jisoo is an annoying bitch and calls everyone Oppa and Unnie, obviously cussing because it’s me. This is mostly an MC character growth chapter, where Sunflower’s past gets resolved so she can move on and be more open to possibilities in her future. 

Notes: I really hate making my Hobi sad, so I hope you guys realize how much work went into this chapter. I literally made myself cry. 

“Hold up, she said what?”

Hoseok gawked in disbelief at Bang PD. He really hoped this was a fucking nightmare because he was ready to wake up. 

“Hoseok, she already told me everything, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t act dumb. I just wish you would have come to me with this sooner so we would have a more concrete game plan. For now, we just have to post a couple of pictures and maybe have Jisoo show up at a concert or something. We’ve already made the official announcement on Twitter.” Bang PD sighed and rubbed his temples like he was forming a migraine. Hoseok felt like he might be developing one as well. 

Bang PD looked at Hoseok with such a disappointed gaze as he waved a paper in the air that he felt like a worm, even if he was innocent of this. 

Bang PD cleared his throat and read the paper. 

“As the leader of Hypnotic, I feel like it is my duty to come clean with any personal matters that may affect my group. So I am happy to announce that I am officially dating Jung Hoseok of BTS and that I will be making it public knowledge.”

“But none of it is true!” Hoseok yelled, slapping his open palm against the desk. He was just so frustrated. Why wouldn’t anyone listen? “I’ve never even said anything to her beyond hello and goodbye. I’ve never been alone with her, I’ve never touched her, and I am certainly not dating her.” 

“Hoseok, can you really blame me for believing this? You’re literally still on lockdown because you got caught sneaking out to see a girl. I hate having to treat you guys like kids, but it is for the good of the entire group. Now we have to deal with this. Hopefully, the fans won’t freak out too much and just accept it. Give it at least a few months, and we’ll announce a split if you’re still set on it.” 

“Of course I’m still set on it. I don’t know or like her. Please, don’t make me do this! Just say it was a mixup or a misunderstanding! I never ask you for anything! The girl that I’m on lockdown for, she cant see this! I’m with her, not Lee Jisoo.” Hoseok pleaded, unable to control the tears anymore. 

Bang PD quietly sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Hoseok. It’s already been announced. As far as the world is concerned, you’re dating Lee Jisoo.”

Hoseok crumbled into the desk chair, shoving his face into his hands as he sobbed. He was so close to being done with everything. So sick of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, sick of not being able to live like a fucking human. And now...now they were taking away his hope. His Sunflower. 

“Don’t be afraid to stand a little closer, you two. This is a couple photo after all.” The photographer chuckled as he pushed Hoseok and Jisoo closer together. 

Hoseok was so uncomfortable, and he’d never been so close to punching a woman in his life. He’d been practically choking on his rage since the moment she’d step foot in the office. Her smug strut and overconfident smirk had him seeing red. He didn’t understand. Why him? She could have pulled this stunt with any of them. Why the hell did she pick him? He’d never done anything to encourage her or piss her off that he knew of. He didn’t know when they’d get a chance to talk alone, but when they did, she’d learn he wasn’t all sunshine and smiles. 

“Achoo!”Jisoo sneezed delicately. Followed by a sniffle, then two more mouse-like sneezes. Hoseok glared down at her only to see her gaze narrowed in on the sunflower pinned to his shirt. 

“I’m terribly sorry, Hoseok Oppa, but that flower has to go. I’m allergic.” Jisoo batted her eyelashes up at him, and his scowl deepened. No way in hell. 

He ignored her and focused on the photographer. He saw her fake smile start to slip a little from the corner of his eye and gained a little bit of satisfaction from that. He tried to zone out enough to where he couldn't hear the annoying sniffling. She could deal with being uncomfortable for a few damn minutes considering she’s fucking with his life. 

“Jisoo, why does it look like you’re crying?” The photographer asked, walking up to them with a slight frown. “I can’t shoot with you looking like that.” 

“It’s just that I’m allergic and can’t be around flowers. Hoseok Oppa has a sunflower on his shirt.” She responded quietly, almost sounding apologetic. 

“Ah, I see. Hoseok, as charming as you look with your flower, we'll have to get rid of it to get through this,” the photographer sighed. 

Hoseok was about to fight to keep it when he saw Manager Sejin shake his head from behind the photographer. Hoseok dropped his head in defeat. Sejin was under orders to add another day to his lockdown everytime he acted out during this whole debacle. With a trembling hand and a weary heart, Hoseok unpinned his sunflower and gave it to Sejin to hold onto for the duration of the shoot. He couldn’t help feeling like it was almost symbolic. 

Seeing Jisoo’s satisfied expression as he got back into position pissed him off, so he let his mask drop. He let every hateful thought, his disgust with this situation and her, and general unhappiness shine through in all its glory. Her eyes widened, and he swore he heard a little gulp. Good.

“Let’s get this over with, yeah? And quit fucking calling me Oppa.” He slipped back into his Jhope persona, smile as wide as the sun, and prayed his Sunflower would see through it. 

“Stop looking so good.” You groaned at the television in frustration. 

After the news with Jisoo, the media had been going crazy, and now every channel you tried to watch had something BTS related. They’d even mentioned it on a cooking show! The news was always paired with yet another stunning picture of Hoseok, and it was driving you mad. You couldn’t get away from him. Even Momo missed him. Anytime something played that had Hoseok’s voice, Momo’s ears would perk up, and he’d give the saddest little whine. You were both pathetically whipped for the man.

Just as you’re about to throw something at your TV in frustration, your friend Nari lets herself into your apartment. She shakes bottles of raspberry soju knowing you’ll let her stay thanks to her offering. You sigh and scoot over, patting the spot next to you on the couch.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you and those lovely bottles, but whatcha doing here?” You ask as you crack open one of the bottles and take a sip. She follows suit and sinks into her seat. 

“You’ve been either moping here at home or working your ass off in the studio, so no one’s seen you in forever. We’re all worried. What’s going on? Can you finally tell me?” Nari asked softly, looking at you with her big brown eyes filled with worry. 

You sigh and decide it’s finally time to clue someone in on all the madness. You’d never told your friends you’d seen Hoseok again after that time at the bar when you’d first met. You’d wanted to respect his privacy, and while you trusted your friends, you’d just wanted him to be safe. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. And even though you were hurting right now, you still couldn’t find it in you to be regretful about bringing him home that night.

You cuddle up next to Nari and pour it all out. You told her of your date, the time apart, the week you’d worked together. You’d told her that you were head over heels in love with Jung Hoseok. And that it didn’t matter because somehow he was now dating one of the girls you choreographed for. You observed in amusement as her eyes widened with each twist or reddened when she was angry, or you’d perhaps shared a little too much. 

“Y/N. This whole time. I knew you were upset about something, but I assumed it was because of your ex. Holy shit though, JHope and you! I didn’t know you were going through so much. I feel like a horrible friend.” Nari’s face fell, and she threw her legs over your lap and cuddled up to you. You chuckle and pat her head fondly. 

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure her, but she looks at you like she knows that’s a lie.

“I know you say that, but your eyes tell me a different story. The way you talk about him...you never sounded like that with your ex. Like, never. I was never even sure you liked him, let alone loved him. When you talk about Hoseok though? I’m almost envious because he sounds like your soulmate. You really loved him, didn’t you?” 

You should tell her no, keep repeating the lie over and over until it sticks. Instead, you just tell her the truth. “Yes, I did. I still do. I can’t make it stop, and I don’t know if it ever will.” You pat her shins draped across you with a heavy sigh and give her a bittersweet smile. 

“What we need to do is get this Jisoo chick out of the picture,” she declared, causing you to raise an eyebrow in amusement. 

“You sound like you’re in the mafia now.” You laugh. “Besides, she’s an idol. Even if I do work with her, there’s nothing I can do.” 

“I will gladly join the fight.” Nari declares, fist to the sky.

“There’s nothing to fight against. Get your shoes off the couch and stop quoting Hamilton.” You giggle as you push her legs off you and get up. You weren’t as drunk as you wanted to be and the two of you had run out of soju. You were sure you had some wine somewhere around here. 

You were distracted from hunting through your cabinets when you heard a gasp. You quickly turn around to see if Nari was okay. She was staring at her phone in shock. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to peek. Nari quickly slammed the phone against her chest, blocking it from your view. She looked up at you with alarmed eyes. Clearing her throat, she murmured, “Nothing.” 

“Nari...” You spoke in a flat warning tone. Somehow you knew what you were about to see. “Just show me.” 

With a great show of reluctance, Nari handed you the phone. Right there on the official BTS twitter was a picture. A couple picture. Of Jung Hoseok and Lee Jisoo. 

Your hand was shaking so much that you couldn’t keep the phone still, but you could still make out every detail. Jisoo looked so proud and beautiful as she stood next to him, her tight pale green dress complementing Hoseok’s grey and green suit. He was smiling widely, and you didn’t know if it was just a vain hope that you thought his eyes looks unhappy. Your eyes scanned the picture, feeling like something was missing. You stared, wondering what you were looking for when it suddenly hit you. 

The sunflower. There was no sunflower. 

You scanned the entire picture, thinking maybe they’d told him he couldn’t wear it with that outfit. Perhaps he’d had to hide it somewhere. So you looked at every corner and crevice the picture showed, zooming in on everything. Not only was there no sunflower, there wasn’t even a single flower of any kind in the picture. 

It was over. Hoseok didn’t want you anymore. 

You inhaled shakily and handed Nari back her phone, not meeting her eyes. You push yourself up off the couch and make your way to the kitchen to renew your search for the wine. You needed it now more than ever. 

“Y/N...Do you want to talk about it?” Nari asks tentatively as she walked behind you. 

“No. What’s there to talk about? He’s moved on to someone in his own world, someone his company obviously approves of. He looks happy. That’s all that matters, right?” You answer, voice shakey as you try to keep your emotions in check.

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not,” Nari whispers as she hugs you from behind and the contact makes you break down. You crumble to the floor and Nari follows you down, gathering you up and rocking you gently as you sob. 

Tomorrow, you promise yourself. Tomorrow you’ll go back to being fine. You’ll go to work and pretend that seeing Jisoo doesn’t kill you inside. You’ll go back to trying to live your life without Jung Hoseok in it. 

But tonight you needed to be miserable. Tonight you needed to cry and mourn what was probably the love of your life. So you let Nari play with your hair as you wept all over her until you finally fell into an exhausted sleep and hoped he’d be in your dreams.

You stare at yourself in the dance studio mirror as you wipe the sweat from your face. You’d had the girls working for three hours now, and you were tempted to add another hour in hopes it would wipe the smirk off Jisoo’s face. 

This whole time you’d been wondering how Hoseok and Jisoo had happened. You didn’t even remember them ever talking, but they apparently had because she was looking at you with such venom that there was no way this was about dance practice. 

She knew. 

Jisoo was looking at you with pride and disdain. The look of a woman who’d won. The look of a woman who probably pitied you. If she knew, that meant Hoseok had told her, because you were sure the two of you had been careful enough. Why would he tell her? Did they sit around and laugh behind your back? Were you really so desperate for love that you’d become an easy target? 

“Y/N Unnie, you look distressed. Is everything alright?” Jisoo asked sweetly, her eyes wide and a worried look on her face. The overall effect was ruined by her smirk. 

“Oh, I’m just super Jisoo. Just worried about the choreography. If you were a better dancer, it wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m wondering if I should dumb it down a little. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, sweetie.” You mock in a dulcet tone.

The rage that filled Jisoo’s face made you childishly happy. You turn away and prepare to leave when Jisoo grabs your wrist and digs her overly long nails in. 

“I’m so sorry, Unnie. Maybe now that I have Hoseok Oppa, I’ll get better. It’s amazing what those hips of his can do. But you already know that, don’t you?” She coos, and you have to clench your fist behind you to keep from smacking her. You tear your wrist away, momentarily allowing your irritation to be seen. 

“You are far from the innocent you portray yourself to be," you answer in a monotone. You clench your teeth and hope you can keep your emotions in check. Your job was more important than Jisoo’s enjoyment of your pain. 

“Oh, Unnie. Are you upset that I took your man? Don’t be. I’m doing you a favor after all. Eventually, he would have gotten bored with a nobody like you. He needs someone who understands life as an idol, someone who looks beautiful next to him. Sadly, that’s not you. Don’t worry, I’ll treat him well.” Jisoo smiles evilly. 

“You know, the truth about what a bitch you are is going to come to light, and we’ll see how much of an “Idol” you are then. If I find out this is all fake and you’re hurting my Hobi, I will fucking end you.” You growl, your patience finally nearing its limit. 

Jisoo’s throws her head back and laughs. “You think you can threaten me? You? You’re nothing. Hoseok already told me all about your little camping trip fuck. Said it was the easiest lay of his life.” Jisoo narrowed her eyes at you, searching for signs of weakness. You gave her nothing and quickly turned to storm out of the room. 

“Get back here. I’m not done talking to you, wench!” Jisoo shrieked.

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” You taunt as you slam the door behind you. 

You quickly make your way to your car and throw your duffle bag into the seat next to you. You lean back and finally let your tears fall, angrily hitting the steering wheel. You couldn’t remember ever crying this much over anything. You didn’t even cry when your fiance had cheated on you. You didn’t want to cry anymore. 

You wanted to get drunk. 

You start your car and call Nari, ordering her to get the girls together. It was time for a night out. 

It felt bizarre sitting in this club again. The last time you were here was when you were drinking away the fact that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you’d met Hoseok. A night that seemed so long ago when it really wasn’t. Now you were back, mourning your shitty love life yet again. In the same seat at the same table with the same girls. Nari had already told you she’d tried to invite the boys again, but their lockdown was no joke. She hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone but had left messages letting them know they were here.

You zone out as the girls chat around, your gaze narrowed on the booth that Hoseok had dragged you to that first night. You want to laugh and cry at the same time as you think about all of the stupid “get to know you” questions Hoseok had asked you. Beyond the usual “What’s your favorite color,” he’d also asked ridiculous things like “What cartoon character turns you on the most?” and “What kind of dance style should our firstborn specialize in?” You smirk to yourself when you remember his judgemental look when you’d told him clog dancing was probably going to be pretty popular by then. God, you missed him.

You are brought back to the present when your friend Tiffany pokes your side. “You might want to look over at the bar.” She says, and your eyes follow her pointing finger. 

At first, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary. The usual assortment of greasy men and sad women. A little flicker of hope wants you to believe it’s Hoseok she’s pointing out, but you hadn’t told her anything about him yet so it couldn’t be that. Your eyes flutter across the bodies assembled in front of the bar, and you finally spot who your friend is pointing out. Even from behind you can tell who it is. With a heavy sigh, you observe the man with irritation as he turns around and meets your eyes. 

Your ex-fiance Seon smiles like he’s genuinely happy to see you. When you notice he’s walking towards your table, you nod towards another open booth, not wanting to subject your friends to whatever drama he was about to start. 

“I’ll be right back.” You murmur to your friends, smiling reassuringly at Nari who was looking at you with concern. 

You slide into the booth and stare at Seon. He’d obviously come here straight from work, as he was still in his suit pants and white shirt. You thought he’d maybe lost a little bit of weight and wondered if he was forgetting to eat again. He did that sometimes when they were working on something big at his company. You shook your head and reminded yourself it wasn’t your problem anymore, although five years of worrying about the man in front of you was a hard habit to break. 

You were a little surprised with yourself. You’d imagined various situations where you’d run into him again and you’d always pictured you’d be an emotional wreck. Instead, all you felt was mild irritation and trepidation over whatever he wanted to talk to you about. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask, trying to force yourself to keep a civil tone.

“Work. We’re celebrating closing a huge deal. You remember that one with the CEO from Japan that we’ve been talking about for almost a year? It went through. Probably going to get a promotion after this.”

“Congratulations, Seon. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been working hard for that one.” You were amazed by much you really meant it. 

“You look good, Angel.” He says softly, smiling as he fidgets with his drink. 

You snort at the use of the nickname. “Did you pull that overused line straight from the post-breakup manual?” 

“Does that exist? I could use that. How to survive breakups for absolute morons.” He joked, and you genuinely laughed. His smile softened as he watched you. You return his stare and just sit in silence for a minute. Seon keeps searching your face like he’s looking for something or memorizing your features.

“Why did you come over here?” You blurt, growing uncomfortable. 

“I wanted to apologize.”

You cock an eyebrow and prepare to say something snarky, but his expression makes you pause. He looked like he was sincere. Of course, you’d thought he was nothing but honest and sincere throughout your entire relationship and look where that got you. Still, you nod for him to continue. 

“I’ve wanted to call you since then to talk to you, but I either chicken out or decide it’s better to just let it be and let you move on with your life. However, I just can’t pass up the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I know that nothing I can say will erase what I did, or how unbelievably stupid I was to do it, but the least I could do is tell you that I regret it so much and that it was never your fault.” 

You bite your lip and soak in his apology. You’d always wondered if you’d done more, if you’d been more, would he have cheated. You’d felt like used trash for months, so this was nice to hear. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, looking down at the remnants of your drink. 

“I just...kinda want to tell you why? I mean, I didn’t go out and choose to do that with a reason clear in my mind, but I’ve been moping around the apartment alone for six months now. Plenty of time for introspection.” 

You look up surprised that he’s willing to give you more. He’d never been the most emotionally open person. You nod and observe as he takes a deep breath before locking eyes with you. 

“I think...it was mostly because I was scared? You know how my parents are. Poster children for a marriage gone wrong. The rumors are that once upon a time they were madly in love. Now they have screaming matches three times a day and make jokes about waiting for each other to die. I just...didnt want that to happen for us. I didn’t want you to wake up one morning and realize you were just waiting to die to get away from me. I didn’t want to see the love in your eyes dim year after year as you realize I’m not worth it. I wanted you to be free to find someone who deserves you more than me, someone who’s not so fucked up. So I kinda subconsciously did that in the hopes of being caught so you’d end it without regrets. I realize that I went about it in a shitty way, but that just proves my point of how I don’t deserve someone as great as you. I should have manned up and told you my fears. Then you could have just hated me for being a coward instead of a cheating coward.” 

To say you’re surprised by everything he’s telling you would be an understatement. This was probably the most you’d ever heard him speak about his feelings. You sigh deeply and grab his hand. 

“I don’t hate you. I was angry, though. So god damn angry. At myself, at you, at the world. I was disappointed. Afraid. I worried that with any future relationship I had I would be waking up every morning and wondering if that was the day they’d grow bored with me too. But I never hated you. It’s hard to really hate someone that you’d spent five years loving.” You tell him as you pat his hand. 

“Never bored. Five years and I was never once bored. Sex with you was always amazing so you can take that off your list right now.” Seon jokes and you giggle and slap his arm away. 

“I just want you to know that I’m not telling you all this because I want you to take me back. In fact, I would be incredibly upset if you did take me back after going through all that to let you find someone better than me. I just...wanted to give us both some closure and I wanted to make sure that you knew that it was absolutely not you. You took such good care of me that six months later I’m still trying to learn how to cook and do laundry. You supported me in everything, and I always appreciated how much you were there for me. I will always, always love you. You were the first person to love me and even if the both of us end up married to someone else in the future, I will always regret never marrying you. I just never thought I deserved your love. The blame is all on me and my issues. Speaking of which, I actually started counseling last month, with the therapist that you told me to look into about my parents. I decided that I probably needed it so that I don’t try to sabotage my relationships again in the future.” 

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re doing that.” You smile at Seon warmly. You were starting to feel a little lighter inside. At least one of your issues was getting resolved. 

Seon chuckles before clearing his throat. “Also, I know it’s a lot to ask, and I totally don’t expect you to take me up on it right away, but I was hoping we could still see each other? I don’t mean see each other, but like, hang out? It’s just...for five years you were not just my girlfriend, but you were also my best friend and my one constant in life. I wake up, and I forget that you’re gone. I start your coffee and toast, put on pants and grab a leash to take Momo out for a walk, and it’s not until I wonder why I can’t find him that I remember you’re not there. I just really miss talking to you. I miss you. And I miss our son. How is Momo?”

“Your son Momo is fine.” You grin. You’d forgotten how he always called Momo his son. “He missed you for awhile. Refused to sleep in his crate unless I put a shirt of yours in there. Look, I can’t promise to be able to easily become your friend again, but I’ll try. And in the meantime, you can have visitations with Momo if you wanted. I’ll admit that beneath the anger, I did miss you too. We did have five years of good memories before that day.” 

“Thank you. You didn’t even have to talk to me, so thank you for listening, and I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime. Thank you, Angel. Goodbye.” Seon’s eyes were suspiciously watery as he grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. You smile and pat his cheek. 

“Thank you. I was worried I’d be bitter forever. Call me in a couple weeks, and we’ll set a day for you to take Momo to the park or something.” You say as you stand up. You spot bright red out of the corner of your eye as you step away from the booth. Out of curiosity, you glance towards the bright color only to be met with Hoseok’s shocked eyes. He frantically looks between you and Seon, confusion and hurt in his eyes, before hardening his gaze and stomping away. 

“No, HOSEOK. Come back! Shit...” You yell after him, trying to make your way through the sweaty crowd. You spot Nari at the bar and corner her. 

“What are they doing here? I just saw Hoseok?” You shriek, grabbing her by the arm as you keep walking towards the door he exited out of. 

“I guess Sejin saw my texts on their phones since he’s the one holding onto them and decided to give them a free night for good behavior. Most of them are at the booth already. I guess they can’t stay that long tonight though since they have some meeting tomorrow. Come sit, I’m sure he just went to get a drink.” Nari tries to reassure you, no doubt seeing your panicked eyes. 

“No. He saw me talking to Seon. He probably thinks I moved on because of the stupid dating announcement. God, the way he looked at me, Nari. There’s no way that dating thing is real. He looked genuinely hurt. I have to find him. I’ll talk to you later.” 

You storm out of the club, frantically searching for Hoseok. You walk up and down the streets and dark, scary alleys. Your feet were still in your stilettos, and they were in so much pain. There were even bloody blisters on the back of your heels that would make dancing considerably painful for a while. Finally, after an hour and a half of searching, you decide to give up, mostly because you could barely walk anymore. Either he’d found a taxi, or he just didn’t want to be found. 

You head back to the club and search for your friend's table. You wanted to at least try to get one of the boys to relay the message to Hoseok that what he thought he saw wasn’t right. As you finally get close enough to the booth, you see it’s once again a girls-only table. You ask Nari, and she tells you that they’ve all gone home already. Your last option is her, so you tell her to text them all that you needed to talk to Hoseok. You text him yourself as well, although you know the chances of Manager Sejin relaying your messages are slim. 

It’s time to give up and go home, you decide. You say goodbye to your friends, receive a hug and an order from Nari to call her later, and order a taxi. You have him stop at a convince store and buy four bottles of Soju. You were going to need them. You stumble into your apartment in an unhappy daze, stopping to peel your high heels off your blood crusted feet, before plopping onto the couch. You scratch Momo behind his ear and crack open your first bottle, forgoing glasses altogether. Soon enough, your mind starts to blank of everything but Hoseok, and you fall asleep thinking of his dismayed expression.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungover in your life. 

Since the moment you’d woken up and rolled off of the couch to crawl to the bathroom, you’d been throwing up. You’d only made it through two of the Soju bottles before you’d passed out and you usually made your way through six at a time with no problem. You wracked your brain trying to think of what else it could be. Maybe something you ate? It couldn’t be anything else because you just had your...

You weakly grab your phone and find your tracking app. Your last period was two months ago. Right before you’d met Hoseok. 

“Shit...shit...fuck...” You call Nari in a panic, saying two words you’d never said before. It was a code you’d all established back in college when scares were the norm. It meant I need you and bring the stick.

“Code Stork.” 

[myjaebutt]

#blessed

Yoongi x Jimin [Yoonmin] + Jin x Namjoon [Namjin] Word Count: 3911 Genre: Crack/Fluff Summary: “are...are you…” yoongi has to stop and take a breath. is he even allowed to ask this? jimin stops giggling and stares at yoongi expectantly, “am i what?” “are you…are you an angel?” (or sugamon get wasted af and yoongi suffers. yoongi always suffers.) [AO3]

to say yoongi is done is an understatement. he’s sure his brain has melted and the sloshing sound is from the mush moving around in his skull rather than the soju he’s carrying. he’s also sure the strange smell he keeps on getting whiffs of as he walks is coming from him and not the strange puddle of what he thought was turd earlier.  

the wary and slightly alarmed looks he keeps getting from passersby also confirms that he looks as shit (if not worse) as he feels. he can’t seem to remember the last time he took a shower let alone change his clothes. with a sigh he furrows into his (jimin’s) hoodie and rushes to namjoon’s apartment. showers can wait. right now yoongi needs to get wasted. he needs to fuckin celebrate surviving finals week. namjoon can deal with a little smell.

***

“hyung you have the alcohol?” namjoon opens the door looking all types of clean and put together yoongi hasn’t felt in days, weeks, ever.

“of course i have the alcohol. do i look like hoseok to you” yoongi pushes his way into the apartment and falls unceremoniously onto the couch. he could really use a nap, for like two years, maybe even three.

“two feet too short to be hobi hyung” namjoon snorts to himself , walking into the kitchen to receive what yoongi hopes is some sort of sustenance. his stomach feels emptier than his wallet after valentine's day (jimin is more high maintenance than he ever expected and no this does not make him whipped thank you for your unnecessary opinion kim taehyung).

“i would kick your ass for such disrespect but i don’t think i can get up” yoongi glares at the younger boy who shuffles back into the living room, arms piled high with various greasy and fattening snacks. perfect.

“if you could reach my ass” namjoon mumbles to himself and yoongi really would and could kick his ass but he’s much too preoccupied stuffing his face with shrimp chips. ass kicking could wait till later.

***

5 bottles of soju later, namjoon and yoongi are what jungkook would label “wasted af”. yoongi would care to disagree because he’s fine, totally fine, except for the small fact that namjoon keeps on spinning in front of his eyes and he doesn’t know how to make it stop.  

but other than that he’s fine, peachy, still stuffing his face with shrimp chips and trying to not look at namjoon for too long. which is kind of difficult when namjoon keeps on trying to get his attention to tell him about something his dog said. wait, his dog can’t speak. right?

“hyungggggg are you even listeninggggg” when yoongi doesn’t reply namjoon latches onto his arm and starts pulling to get his attention.

“listennnnnn to meeeeee”

yoongi would smack namjoon for pulling on his arm but all that comes out of his mouth is, “joon your dog can’t speak….right?”

a silence spreads around them and namjoon slowly backs away from yoongi, eyes wide and mouth scrunched up, almost as if he was trying not to cry.

“i.... i don’t know hyung. can he?” namjoon whispers to yoongi, looking all types of confused.

“it’s your dog namjoon how the fuck would i know?” annoyed for some reason he can’t understand yoongi starts opening another bottle. he’s too sober for this conversation.

“should i call jin hyung and ask? would he know?” namjoon mutters to himself, squinting at his phone.

yoongi leaves namjoon to his confusion and wanders off to hoseok’s room, bottled cradled in his arms like a newborn baby.

the stench of weed hits him through his drunk stupor the moment the door opens and yoongi remembers why he moved out in the first place. hoseok; resident sunshine, part-time best friend, notorious screamer in every and all moments of life and the campuses very own...weed king. yoongi doesn’t care for the fact that his friend likes to spend 80% of his week high or semi-high, even though he himself isn’t that big of a fan.

what prompted him to move out in the end was jimin; current boyfriend, has the nicest ass yoongi’s ever laid eyes on, an actual cinnamon roll and notoriously sensitive to just about everything. all it took was one off-hand comment 2 months into their relationship that the smell of weed hurt his head and yoongi moved out the next month (yoongi swears he’s not whipped though you can shut your mouth hole kim taehyung).

yoongi’s aimlessly walking around the room when namjoon pops his head into the room with a goofy smile on his face.

“jin hyung said rapmonnie can’t talk”

“that’s good?” yoongi’s like 95% sure dogs aren’t supposed to talk anyways.

“yeah. hey. hobi hyung said he got a new stash earlier this week. something special. wanna try it?” namjoon has a mischievous glint to his eyes and yoongi knows they’re both too drunk to do something stupid like getting high, but he can’t help it. it’s been a long week, and even longer month.

so without another thought yoongi finds himself nodding along and making way for namjoon to clamber into the room. he gets a weird knot in his stomach when he sees namjoon scoot under the bed. this is not going to end well.

after stumbling around under the bed for a few minutes namjoon tries to back out and ends up bumping his head on the edge. yoongi snickers from his place near the end of bed and makes no move to help his clumsy friend, this is what the punk gets for making fun of his height.

namjoon glares at him once he emerges from under the bed but yoongi’s too busy staring at the box in his hand to mind the younger boy, not that namjoon’s surprised.

without a word yoongi promptly turns away and walks back into the living room, bottle still cradled in his arms.

with a roll of his eyes namjoon follows behind and falls onto the couch, facing yoongi and tucking his long legs under him. he places the box between them and stares at yoongi.

“what the fuck you looking at?” yoongi turns and mimics the younger’s actions and places the bottle in the space between his legs.

“open it” namjoon pushes the box closer to yoongi.

“why do i have to do it?” a scowl appears on yoongi’s face, what game was namjoon trying to play.

“cuz hobi hyung won’t kill you when he finds out” namjoon uses his long ass legs to push the box against yoongi and yoongi’s scowl deepens even though he knows namjoon is 100% right.

“fine whatever” he plucks the box off the couch and swats namjoons leg away, curse namjoon and his abnormally long legs.

he spills the contents in front of him and with finessed fingers wraps up a good sized joint. the whole time namjoon watches him with enlarged eyes, amazed by yoongi’s lithe hands at work and yoongi can’t help but smirk.

***

an hour later and the joint long gone, namjoon and yoongi are definitely what jungkook would call ‘wasted af’.  

yoongi can make out namjoon speaking, some philosophical bullshit about how humans lack happiness because they care too much about others definition of happiness, but yoongi easily blocks him out (the nerd quotes socrates on a good day). instead yoongi focuses on the object in his hand (or tries to, he’s kind of worried why everything keeps shaking like all of those homemade videos taehyung likes to make of his dog). he knows it's his phone, namjoon’s own is precariously hanging off the edge of the couch, but he’s not so sure who it is on his lock screen. it has to be someone he knows, since it is his phone after all, but he can’t seem to place a name to the face and honestly it’s pissing him off. the dude on his lock screen is Hot with a capital h and yoongi is kind of in love.

“hey joon, ya know who this is?” yoongi leans over and shoves the phone into namjoon’s face.

“uhhh…. a-a-a friend?” namjoon stutters, eyes going cross-eyed as he stares at the phone.

“you are useless” yoongi grumbles curling back into his side of the couch, phone clutched to his chest.

“and i quote, ‘it’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me’” namjoon looks at yoongi, a faraway look in his eyes.

“joon, don’t you dare start this” yoongi warns.

“i am what i am and i do what i do”

“namjoon.”

“i expect nothing and accept everything”

“kim namjoon.” yoongi leans in. namjoon gulps. “shut up before i shut you up forever”

“haters gon’ hate and playas gon’ play. mufuckas keep mufuckin all day” silence engulfs the room as namjoon clasps both hands over his mouth, eyes going wide as he waits for yoongi to do something. anything.

and really yoongi could, and most definitely should, kick namjoon’s ass right about now (he may be “smol” as all his assholes friends like to remind him every single fuckin day but all those years of taekwondo weren’t for nothing).

however just as yoongi’s about to make his way over to teach namjoon a lesson about shutting the fuck up when your elders tell you to, yoongi’s phone vibrates with a message notification. and really a message wouldn’t usually stop yoongi from ladling out a well deserved ass whooping but said message is from the totally hot boy on his lock screen and yoongi scrambles to unlock his phone.

he momentarily stops to wonder why hot boy is saved in his contacts as jibooty. like what does that even mean. but all is forgotten when he opens the message and is greeted, read blessed, by a selfie from said hot boy aka jibooty. a blindingly cute picture in which his eyes are closed into crescents as he smiles widely at the camera. yoongi gasps, free hand coming up to clutch at his chest, how dare totally hot boy also be totally cute too.

from the corner of his eye yoongi sees namjoon start to move and turns to glare at the younger boy again, all was not forgotten. namjoon quickly retreats back to holding his mouth and yoongi nods once before turning back to his phone. namjoon should be thankful to this jibooty guy, he practically saved his life.

yoongi’s still staring at his phone when he hears the front door open and a shrill voice speak out, “oh my god it stinks in here.”

another voice, slightly softer, laughs out, “hobi hyung is gonna be so mad.”

the second voice sounds strangely familiar and yoongi turns to namjoon who simply shrugs his shoulders, hands still clasped over his mouth. yoongi doesn’t even know why he bothered. all a wasted namjoon do was quote dead guys.

with a roll of his eyes yoongi turns back around and instantly freezes the fuck up. because right there, a few feet away stands the totally hot dude aka jibooty aka the dude with the cutest fuckin smile yoongi’s ever been blessed to see and he’s not sure what’s real anymore (there’s another totally gorgeous guy next to jibooty but yoongi’s a loyal type of guy).

yoongi looks down at his phone and back up, and then back down and he’s not sure if this is some wet dream of his but he’s totally down. jibooty is even more hot in person. “fuck me.”

and then the most magical thing in yoongi’s whole life happens (well maybe, he can’t actually remember anything before this morning so who really knows, not yoongi for sure). totally hot dude let’s out the cutest giggle ever and yoongi’s whipped af, for a fuckin giggle. he would gladly give up his entire life savings, his house, his parents, heck he’d even give up his cat (if he had a cat) to hear that giggle again.

then totally hot boy strikes again. the cutest fuckin smile yoongi’s ever seen in his life returns, all wide and way too big with his eyes turning into crescents and yoongi feels attacked. his heart is racing, his palms are sweaty and honestly yoongi  feels as if he’s run a marathon and he's not sure if he should curl up into himself or fling himself at the boy (he really wants to fling himself at the boy). thankfully yoongi has some sort of control and crawls towards namjoon instead. he's still thinking about flinging himself into the arms of the boy though. he's pretty sure he could catch him because damn those arms though (yoongi wills his entire existence to not to think of those thighs because god help him he's gonna lose it).

“pstt. joon. i think the hot guy from my phone just came to life” yoongi whispers towards namjoon, eyes still trained on the guy. his heart almost stops when he sees the boy blush and hide a shy smile behind his hand and yoongi realizes much too late that his whispering is fuckin useless if it can be heard across the room.

“omg hyung. he even brought a friend” namjoon whispers, read screams, back at yoongi.

yoongi rolls his eyes at his friend and whispers, or so he thinks, “shhhh joon. they can hear you”

“but hyung. he’s hot. like really hot.”

“well im glad you think so” the taller guy smiles sweetly as he walks over to the couch and sits next to namjoon.

yoongi watches in shock as the guy carefully picks up the phone hanging on the edge of couch and dumps it in namjoon’s lap. he then slowly smooths back namjoon’s hair, still smiling way too sweetly.

“im flattered that you find your boyfriend to be ho.” he says with a smirk as he leans back against the couch.

“my boyfriend?!” namjoon chokes out the same time yoongi screeches,

“his boyfriend?!”

the guy just rolls his eyes and resumes petting namjoon’s head.

“what the fuck” yoongi deadpans before turning to stare at jibooty who’s trying really hard not laugh out loud, and failing miserably.

“what the actual fuck”

“ho--how?” namjoon stutters, unconsciously moving closer to the tall guy.

“how what?” the guy asks, an amused smile on his face.

“how did i get so lucky?” namjoon asks with all seriousness, staring up at the guy as if he was afraid he would disappear if he blinked.

“oh my god. jin-hyung i think namjoon-hyung just fell for you again” jibooty gives up on holding back his laughter and almost doubles over at the force of his own laugh.

“i wouldn’t laugh so hard jimin. the first thing yoongi said when he saw you was and i quote, ‘fuck me’.”

yoongi watches in awe as jibooty, aka jimin, stops laughing and starts spluttering as he flushes bright red. the flush spread all the way across jimin’s face and down his neck and yoongi can’t help but wonder how far down it goes (yoongi isn't a pervert he swears).

jimin’s face gets so red yoongi can’t help but wonder how hot his face would be if he touched it right now. so yoongi does what any sane person would do, totally. he slowly walks over to jimin, who simply watches him with a slightly amused looked.

and then when yoongi gets close enough he reaches out and places his hand on jimin’s cheek. totally normal, yup. jimin jumps slightly at the contact and flushes even more.

“wow. you’re really hot.” yoongi deadpans as he cradles jimin’s warm cheek in his palm. (yoongi also screams internally at how soft jimin’s cheeks are but no one needs to know that).

he can hear namjoon and the jin guy laughing, obnoxiously loud, in the back but he doesn’t really care. not when jimin is smiling at him, all big and wide and yoongi’s heart does that weird pounding thing when he runs after taehyung for eating all his cereal.

“i am?” jimin raises his eyebrow at yoongi and yoongi finally realizes what he said. fuck yoongi and his lack of brain activity when wasted.

still cradling jimin’s cheek yoongi tries to amend the situation. “well yeah. your face is like really warm and red right now. but you’re also like hot, like hot hot not warm hot. ya know?”

a moment passes as jimin stares at yoongi and yoongi wonders if he fucked up with the totally hot hot guy. his asshole best friend and his new, supposed to be old, boyfriend laughing like this is the comedy sketch of the century isn’t helping either.

then something wonderful happens and jimin starts giggling. he fuckin starts giggling like yoongi said the funniest thing ever and yoongi needs to fight his mom for telling him angels don’t exist. because she’s wrong. dead wrong. yoongi is like 300% sure jimin is an angel.

“are...are you…” yoongi has to stop and take a breath. is he even allowed to ask this?

jimin stops giggling and stares at yoongi expectantly, “am i what?”

“are you…are you an angel?”

the room is so quiet yoongi can hear namjoon gulping for air as he tries to stop himself from hyperventilating, and failing miserably. good. yoongi hopes he chokes on air.

jimin’s staring at him, a look that’s so sweet and intimate yoongi has to retreat his hand. he can feel the beginning of a blush spreading across his own face.

then jimin starts giggling again and the two idiots in the back are back to laughing way too loud and yoongi’s sure namjoon’s about to choke any second (serves that asshole right, he was supposed to be yoongi’s best friend wth). but none of that really matters because yoongi is now 400% sure jimin is an angel.

“can i see your wings?” yoongi softly asks, hands coming up unconsciously to grasp at the air between them.

with a smile jimin holds yoongi’s hands in his own and yoongi has to literally stop himself from cooing out loud. jimin has to have the smallest and cutest hands yoongi’s ever seen. holding his hands feel like a blessing. jimin the angel has blessed poor min yoongi’s sad life. he is cured, he will prosper, he will never be sad.

#blessed

yoongi has to force himself to look up from jimin’s hands when he hears him talking again.

“only my boyfriend can see them”

what kind of bullshit is that, yoongi thinks grumpily.

“but...i wanna see…” yoongi grumbles, lips pursing out into a non-pout, because min yoongi does not pout. ever.

“sorry. it’s the rules hyung” jimin squeezes yoongi’s hands in what would be a comforting gesture but all yoongi can think about is seeing some angel wings.

“can’t you like, you know...break up with him. and like, you know...be my boyfriend?” it’s a great idea. min yoongi is a problem solver. a genius. his mother would be proud.

“break up with him?” jimin is smiling at yoongi weirdly and maybe yoongi should know by now that this is a bad idea but he like really, really, REALLY wants to see them angel wings.

“yeah. i’m a great catch, i swear. i can’t cook, but i don’t burn my ramen’s so that’s pretty good. i haven’t graduated yet but i have a part-time job and i rap and people say its good. also i don’t break everything like namjoon. and im like super low maintenance. like all i need is cuddles and a couple kisses a day and im good….yeah” yoongi kinda wishes a black hole would spontaneously appear and suck him away. it would be probably less painful than the embarrassment he feels right now.

“hmmm. maybe i should.”

screw embarrassment. yoongi was getting himself a man. “yes. call him right now. do it.”

to yoongi’s delight jimin takes out his phone and starts dialing.

“get it hyung!” namjoon cheers from the back and yoongi smiles despite himself. he was definitely getting it.

a vibration in yoongi’s pocket startles him and he reluctantly lets go of one of jimin’s hands to take his phone out of his pocket.

“why are you calling me?” yoongi looks up at jimin incredulously. “you’re supposed to call your boyfriend so you can date me.”

jimin laughs before hanging up. “well you see hyung. we’re kind of already dating.”

“wait. are you like, you know, for real right now?”

“very”

“holy shit”

yoongi slowly turns around to look at namjoon.

“joon. im fuckin dating an angel”

“holy shit hyung”

jin and jimin break out into laughter and yoongi whips around to stare at jimin. he’s dating an angel. min yoongi is dating an angel. a totally hot and totally cute angel. min yoongi is truly blessed.

#blessed

***

yoongi wakes up the next morning feeling like he’s been left out to dry in the sun and then continuously pounded in the head with a bucket. his throat is drier than namjoon’s hair after a bleach and his eyes, once he prys them open, feel as if someone's been blowing into them. overall yoongi feels like shit. absolute shit.

just when yoongi thinks it couldn’t get any worse he feels someone stirring next. in a state of panic yoongi freezes up and prays to all gods out there that he didn’t fuck things up more than he already thinks. he slowly look down and lets out the biggest sigh when he realizes it’s just jimin. thank fuck, yoongi really didn’t wanna die today. and trust him, there was a long list of people who would gladly kill him if he fucked up. even though he knows just taehyung and jungkook are enough to kill and dispose of his body without anyone finding out.

he’s just about to relax when everything from yesterday floods back and yoongi groans. “fuck me.”

“wow hyung. you’re really asking for it again” a sleepy jimin smirks at yoongi. and yoongi would totally tell him to shut up, but he’s weak for sleepy bed-haired jimin (he’s weak for jimin in all and every state tbh).

“im gonna kill namjoon and then myself” yoongi deadpans running a hand across his face.

“it wasn’t that bad hyung” jimin giggles into his neck and yoongi can already feel himself melting.

“i called you an angel and then told you to break up with me so you could date me. just so i could see your wings”

“well... it was pretty bad”

yoongi groans. “im never drinking or smoking or even going near namjoon again. our friendship is over. im never fixing another door for him again”

yoongi hears jimin shuffling next to him and then next thing he knows jimin's straddling him and smiling all wide and beautiful and yoongi can’t help but smile back. he never can. he’s weak. sue him.

“it’s okay hyung. you were very cute. i totally fell for you again. total boyfriend material. would date. 10/10”

“oh shut up”

“hey don’t be mean. i won’t show you my wings otherwise”

yoongi rolls his eyes before pulling jimin down for a kiss. fuck hangover/morning breath. yoongi was gonna kiss his angel if he wanted to.

min yoongi may make stupid choices, and have friends who make even stupider choices. but he knows an angel when he sees one, and yoongi was definitely dating an angel named park jimin.

#blessed

[cococassey]

Goblin kdrama, ep 14-16

I have a confession to make. I probably cried only once watching this show, in ep 1 when Eun Tak realized her mom was a ghost. And a little bit when Kim Go Eun cried her heart out as Eun Tak recovered her memories of Shin. I’ve always wondered why. I know I have a lot of fun watching the show, as in its heart it’s a fantasy romcom, but was the comedy hindering me from connecting deeper emotionally to the story? Boy, did I cry ugly tears when Eun Tak died, even though I have an inkling she will probably be reincarnated. This is when it sunk in how much I’ve grown to love these characters. Goblin, it might have been a rough start, but we reached the end of the road, and I’m loathe to part ways.

I have my concerns with the meandering pace of the earlier episodes (That roundabout stuff about the pulling of the sword was making me pull my hair in turn). It’s fun but felt sitcom-y, and the stellar cast is a big factor on making it work. When 99% of dramas usually lose their way at the end, Goblin bucked the trend and really saved the best for the last leg of the show. Some lingering issues that bothered me before are: Eun Tak’s earlier immaturity, OTP is overshadowed by the brotp, and being disengaged from current Yeo and Sunny’s love story. But the show was able to close out strong and gave me enough resolution by the end.

First, I’ve seen Eun Tak mature before my very eyes. Second, the OTP may not have initially swept me off my feet, but with each episode they steadily made me feel for them, until I’m in deep. The amnesia thing may be a trope, but my heart skipped when Shin made the flowers bloom in winter for Eun Tak from afar (when she made that public mistake). My jaded heart slowly melted as Eun Tak’s lost memories slowly returned—when he wooed her with stories of a tragic long-forgotten love, which is actually their own sad story, willing her to remember.

Third, my detachment from the second OTP was because we did not spend more quality time with Sunny. If I see another useless scene of her drinking soju by the store window, I’m going to drink one myself to oblivion! But her retaining the memories and her farewell love letter to Yeo won me over. It’s like a veil was lifted, I finally saw things from her perspective—how much she wants to follow her heart but she simply cannot forgive him yet…in this lifetime. I felt Yeo and Sunny’s ending was very apt, that they found their happy ending on their next lives. They had too much emotional baggage for it to be just swept under the rug.

I also wanted more scenes with Shin and Sunny as siblings, but somehow their current gap makes sense. Yes, memories of familial fondness are still there as they were siblings in her past life, but they’re living their own lives now. Scenes you expect to go down dramatic, but turn out low-key are more surprisingly poignant. Shin finally forgiving Yeo with a simple nod meant much more than any hug ever will. I love that Yeo was given a second chance at happiness after atoning for his sins as grim reaper. If anyone deserves it, it’s him. It sadly led to the inevitable breakup of my bromance though. Everyone gradually leaving that Goblin house broke my heart (it felt akin to everyone leaving Reply 88’s Ssangmundong all over again).

I honestly gave up making sense of who remembers who there at the end, it was really messy (after god wreaked amnesia havoc yet again), but how can Sunny not tell Eun Tak of her past esp. as she is suffering deep sadness from it. I’ll just take it that Sunny didn’t want to trouble Eun Tak anymore of what she lost so she can move on, and that Sunny was not aware of the other’s depression.

I was expecting Eun Tak to be reincarnated as an immortal as she sacrificed herself for others, so she can be forever with Shin. Does this ending mean she’ll be dying again while he stays immortal? Their fated love patiently endures so I’m betting on their happily ever after, that they’ll always find each other through time. Now that I think of it, this is kind of a fitting end for a drama that has an air of melancholy around it underneath all the laughs.

I guess if the show taught us anything, it’s that life is both bittersweet and precious because there’s never enough time. You’re born, you live, you laugh, you love, you cry, you move on. Loneliness may be unbearable at times, but stay strong, you owe it to those who loved you. There will be angels to light your way when you least expect it. Don’t miss it, maybe he’s sitting on a bench underneath a cherry blossom tree, the one with the ancient eyes and that sad smile on his beautiful face, waiting patiently for his bride to come home.

[jihyetxt-blog]

if you ask her she’ll say she’s no evil, followed by a “but i’m no saint, either”. in this world, you’re taught it’s either right or wrong, things have to be black or white. but they’re wrong, they’re so wrong darling. and whether it is on purpose or not, they’re making a fool out of you. most things in this world aren’t black or white, they’re a distinctive shade of grey, per se. a lighter or darker one, that depends on each element. everybody sins and everybody does good, you’re bound to do things you’ll regret in a few years from now and you’ll perform acts of kindness. maybe humans should be taught that some people, some situations have a few extra drops of black paint, and others, in the other hand, have ounces of white tint poured into them. ahn jihye, though, is a complicate shade of grey, a middle point between black and white that would sprout an endless fight; some will argue with you that she’s one hundred percent a darker grey, and shortly after you’ll see the fools trying to refute said theory. what they don’t know is: the neutral grey jihye is will lean more towards black or white depending on the situation you meet her. she’s a transient grey, always flowing, never the same.

she’s a fresh wave of air in the middle of august, the type that gives you goosebumps and makes the hairs in your skin perk up, prickling in your skin with a pinch of rush. she’s as lively as summer, always daring to rival its vivacity. she’ll play around and tease you for the fun of it, humour you a little. she’s as approachable and extrovert and young, though, she defeats summer in reliability; the season is like a firework, once the last sparks reach the night sky, it’s over, you’ll never see one like it again. and though jihye resembles firework, her reliability doesn’t have an expiration date, but the sound of a glass breaking into a thousand tiny pieces instead. it’s up to you when the last sparkles that form jihye will caress your nights. she’s not an open book, will never be, but she has an open mind, and that’s more valuable than exposing your deepest, most sacred thoughts to someone you don’t genuinely care about. enigmas have always been more fun, anyway. summer is fun, summer is never knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing what to expect. summer is freedom, not giving a single fuck, enjoying yourself without thinking about the consequences. and that’s ahn jihye in her lightest shade.

she loves a simple life, and yet, at the same time, she adores the wealth she was born into. she loves wearing a pair of jean and a t-shirt, but she adores to clad her thin frame in a satin dress from ralph & russo’s latest collection with a pair of high heels just as expensive and a glass of quality champagne in her hand. she loves the refined meetings she has to attend with her family, but she adores the idea of picking up a small barbecue and eating meat and drinking cheap soju somewhere in the dark nights of seoul. she loves and adores the unfair easy life she was gifted with, and simultaneously, loves and adores the mundane sides of it.

but oh, sweetheart, god knows damn well she’s full of sins. there’s a force inside of her asking for release and she’s always happy to grant it freedom. there’s something about tempting luck and the law that gets her spirit going; she’s a bird urging for release, and she likes no cages. you’ll see her mumbling how she doesn’t like the police, and you may witness her testing her fortune by challenging a policeman (or anything and anyone that hints law), but if you ask her why, she won’t be able to say more than “i just, don’t”. but i’ll tell you here: the police are part of the law, and in her eyes, they can cut off her wings. it’s simple, and yet so silly. here’s another secret about jihye she insists on denying: she can be too easy to influence, and if you trigger her rebellious vein, it can be so dangerous, and so untamed, but so, so much fun. she won’t kill, and she won’t rob a bank, she won’t do anything of the rightfully so illegal things, but if you lead her, she may try weed with you, hesitant about addictive and stronger drugs for sure. she’s not dumb, she has a limit. she may help you steal something small, something insignificant that could get both of you in trouble, or running away, whatever it may be. she will make out with you at church for the sake of pissing off people. god, the shot of adrenaline running through her insides and the cold shiver running up her spine until it bites tiny kisses onto the nape of her neck. she knows she’s bad, and she loves every bit of it. she’s such a brat, she will talk back and argue with you and do the right opposite of what you want her to. she’s the person you call at two o’clock in the morning and have knocking on your door at half past two ready to hang out; eat ramen and simply walk or cause disturbance, it’s up to you. she likes a little adventure, a little bit of chaos to trigger the rush in her veins. fun never killed nobody; a small dose of chaos keeps youth alive. she’s a free spirit and there’s no way to cage her in.

swear and bet your own life that jihye is rancorous. and prideful. and that’s the worst concoction you could ever ask for. she will never forget, hardly will ever forgive, and she won’t go after you chasing your tail. she will suck it up, be in pain if she has to, but label yourself as lucky if she ever even thinks about swallowing her pride for you. and don’t play with her again, because miracles hardly take place, and they only happen once. fuck up with her once? consider forgetting about her forever. she can be so possessive it’s venom in her blood, toxic for herself but not for anyone else; she wouldn’t stop anyone’s freedom, that’d give them the right to stop hers. not even in hell.

love is a thorny topic. it’s something she yearns for, yet something she doesn’t chase. she may tempt her luck with the law, but getting caught executing illegal actions won’t make her end up with a broken heart; falling in love, will. the amount of tears she has seen strolling down the cheeks of her friends, of her own sister, dampening the fabric covering her shoulders, are a sign love can hurt you in the worst of ways, and that’s not worth anyone’s time. or at least, that’s how jihye sees it. why would she risk opening her heart to someone who would crush it in a matter of seconds? is it really worth that much? is love that essential? she will surely flirt with you, play along and entertain you, but she won’t fall in love, she’ll be damned if she did. she doesn’t love you, you won’t get married and live happily ever after; she’s passing the time, killing it while having fun. i wonder what it would take to win her heart. whoever does, i hope they realize they have a treasure hard to get in their hands.

though, lust isn’t as thorny. it doesn’t take place often, and you will most likely not know when it happens, or if at all. it’s a sporadic activity, a little naughty secret in the back of her wardrobe. it’s a natural instinct, you can’t blame her. you can’t blame anyone. sex with no strings attached can be just as fun, and that’s something jihye has experienced. kisses with no more meaning that the need of soothing the fire igniting in the pit if your stomach, in the branches around your lungs. no sweet words, no hearts bound to break. just kisses and hands roaming bodies and hickeys. she doesn’t flaunt about it, even sporadic and stringless affairs can be a secret. it feels better, tastes better. she’s good (as good as someone like her can be, anyway) but she has such a dirty mind, and she isn’t ashamed of it one bit. sue her for being a sexual being, you may as well sue yourself in the way to fill up the form.

she’s the personification of vanity. too vain, too aware of her appareance, and not one bit scared to flaunt it. she’s confident with herself, she knows you think she’s attractive, and she wants you to know that she’s both aware of you and her. no one will ever love her as much as she loves herself. it’s true. not because she’s too full of herself, but because self-love is important, and a woman who loves herself is probably one of the most beautiful things. and you’re allowed to showcase it in any way you wish to. the way she chooses to is by being cheeky, brazen.

there’s a storm inside of her, and it won’t see the light of day anytime soon. everybody has secrets. there are parts of ourselves we don’t want others to find out, be it shame, fear or need of privacy. in jinhye’s case, though, it’s the second option. nobody can find out. she can’t tell anyone. how could she when she can’t even tell her parents? not even her sister is aware. she doesn’t want to be labelled as a mistake, or become a taboo in her household, or worse: be shamed, degraded and insulted for something she cannot control. she didn’t choose bisexuality. she wouldn’t wish to change in fear of her parents, either. she’s proud of it, she’s proud of every bit of herself, just── let her hide it a little bit longer, until there’s no more fear, or until shit hits the fan.

is she a contradiction? maybe, yeah. i think of her as one sometimes. what she surely is, is an enigma, a two thousand pieces puzzle, an equation hard to break. she’s a strange grey of shade. what kind of grey is this complicated, though?