#I LOVE YOU PEGGY UPROOTED

[andro-dino]

caught up on uprooted and as soon as I saw Peggy’s new design I immediately yelled “WIFE” so I had to draw her <3

[darkcrowprincess]

Controversial opinion:

Steve Rogers gets steadily worse and worse in character as the series of marvel movies progresses while Tony Stark gets good wonderful character growth. At first you feel for Steve being stuck in the future. But you get to a point like, "GET OVER IT MAN, YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE! MAKE CONNECTIONS, ENJOY THE FUTURE THAT YOU ARE IN. ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. GET OVER IT ALREADY. HOLDING ONTO THE PAST LITERALLY DOES NOT HELP ANYTHING!" I say this as someone who loves Steve Rogers in the first few movies he was in. I'm not saying this just because I love Tony Stark (I was a stony shipper). But like the wasted potential man. He literally goes back to the past and uproots Peggy's life. Despite the type of consequences that could create(though I never have or will watch endgame).

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you!)

[ashestoashesjc]

You get to know people. You learn their tics. What it means when they scratch their nose three times or tap door jambs. How their voice ascends when they’re lying and deepens when hunger strikes. 

So when Sandie stares me dead in the eyes, a vulture surveying a gourmet opossum à la asphalt, I know why. I know what she wants to hear. 

“I am an independent, self-sufficient woman with goals and aspirations, and I cannot be tugged about on the whim of some mouth-breathing Neanderthal with nothing to offer but eventual disappointment, heartache, and services more deftly rendered by a magic wand. 

“So never ever under any circumstance would I uproot my fulfilling life—leaving behind loving friends, a cushy apartment, and an only sometimes hateable job—to move cities, unless it was a well-conceived-of next step in my journey of personal growth.” 

Instead, it comes out more like:

“For Paul? No, no, no. I’m moving to Glendale for the… sun.”

She is unconvinced. The fact that we aren’t sixty year olds with bad hips and debilitating arthritis might have something to do with it. 

“I mean, we’re not even married,” I say, leaving out the ‘yet’. Don’t want to jinx it.  “It would be ridiculous to make such a huge decision for a boyfriend.”

Yeah, so call me ridiculous. Or naive. Or maybe a massive fucking donkey. Probably they all apply, but what can I say? I’m in love. 

That might be hard for Sandie to grapple with, staunch women’s secessionist as she is. Not that I fault her. Or disagree with her, really. We became friends for a reason. It just so happens that my values play second fiddle to my heart. Barf. 

If I only had her resolve. As is:

“Honestly, it’s more like I’m the one dragging him along. I just really need a change of pace,” I say. Make it all about me. My choice, my move, my life. 

Even though lately it’s been all about us. What we want. How we feel. We slowly morph into a single creature, drinking for one, eating for one, only happy when the other is, emotions hopelessly entangled. 

“Uh-huh,” says Sandie. Her arms are crossed, one leg draped over the other. “And this new job of his has nothing to do with your sudden desire for change?”

I’m a little taken aback. I hadn’t told her about the new job—for good reason. So how did she—?

“He posted it to Facebook,” she says casually, reader of minds. 

Fucking Facebook. What are you good for but keeping a running list of the relatives I will most definitely not be inviting to the wedding. 

Well, I’m caught. Time to hang it up. Nothing to say now but—

“What are the chances, right?” I venture, tossing in a light chuckle. “Don’t you love it when things fall just so conveniently into place?”

I can hear my pores leaking. 

Sandie doesn’t say anything, and with every passing second of silence, so slip the last few kernels of feminism through my fingers. 

“Yes,” says Sandie. “Exceedingly convenient.”

A few minutes of idle chatter later and she stands. I stand too. She grasps my hands, wishes me well, kisses my cheeks. I walk her to the door and she waves to me from her car in the parking lot. All smiles. 

I can already see her ripping me to shreds in a new group chat, sans yours truly, and I grieve for all the future potlucks and bra-burnings I won’t be asked to attend. 

Two hours later, Paul returns from his last shift at the Oppington office. He tells me about his day, the farewell sheet cake with the cream cheese frosting, how he’d never learned the receptionist’s name (“I call her Peggy; it’s our inside joke”), and I tell him about mine. 

“You never really liked them, though, right?” he says. “I think you called them ‘uppity, self-righteous nags.’”

“Yeah,” I say. But they were my uppity, self-righteous nags. I don’t expect him to get it. 

But to his credit, he does see how it’s upset me, and says, “D’ya wanna sit in the park and make up true crime stories about the people we see?”

Man that I love. 

I beam. 

“Yeah.”

[redvanillabee]

You encouraged asks, so an ask. I love to chat about my favorite disasters (you now the AC trio) so here are a few random questions to discuss.

Do you believe Jack lives after S2? If so, what is the aftermath look like for him (injury & recovery especially)

Does Peggy find out Michael is still alive? How and how does she react?

What does Daniel do when the SSR goes under? What does the future look like for him?

YES. I cannot let my blorbos die at all.

I usually imagine his injury on the more serious side—say, the shot missing his heart by just inches. A brush with death, rather than something that he could clearly recover from at first.

In terms of recovery…I haven’t done any research into what recovery from an injury like that would be, so I don’t have concrete medical ideas. But I really like the idea of recovery being more of an emotional hurdle than a physical one. Physically, it’s relatively straight-forward—none of that two steps forward one step back, random complications springing up thing. I /love/ fics in which Jack is more frustrated with himself than anything.

YES to Peggy finding out that Michael is still alive. I am very attached to the idea that Michael is the prototype Winter Soldier, so I lean towards her discovery being something very CATWS, like Steve and Bucky on the bridge. Just imagine Peggy on this warpath trying to uproot the Arena Club and clean the SSR of corruption, chasing down leads and final locating Jack’s would-be assassin, and then BAM! It’s her own brother.

That last one is interesting; I haven’t really thought about that. I suppose the fall of the SSR and the founding of SHIELD are happening back-to-back, so obviously a position in SHIELD is on the table.

I kinda like the idea that Daniel is a little hesitant to take the position at SHIELD at first…because he doesn’t want people to think he got a senior position at SHIELD just because his wife is one of the founders (yes, Peggysous are married by this point). Joining other federal agencies like FBI or CIA are on the table too. I suppose he would be a little resistant to the FBI after the Vernon Masters debacle (I think Vernon is FBI?), though.

He will definitely have considered taking advantage of the GI bill and go to college before deciding on his next place of employment. I imagine he might consider a STEM subject, perhaps an area that he has become interested in since joining the SSR. He does eventually join SHIELD, of course, but I can’t decide if he goes to college concurrently, or takes up his new role only after finishing his degree.

[zouisalmightie]

... stucky?

oh babes stucky is my bread and motherfuckin butter. absolutely 1000% ship! this is going to be stream of consciousness im so sorry

1. what made me ship it is steve literally broke 70 years of brainwashing by just saying buckys name. that’s how important steve is to bucky literally all he said was his fucking name. and then! steve literally put down the shield and was going to let bucky kill him because (once again!!!) he couldn’t live in a world where bucky did not know him. and then!!! he put down the shield and gave it to tony, gave up his superhero status because bucky is what he cares about.

2. my favorite things about stucky are “when i had nothing else i had bucky” like think about this for a second. steve literally did not know what his enhanced body could do, but he still went in stormed the fucking hydra facility by himself not fucking backup and was like im getting my mans out of here. they both had the opportunity to leave the other in the war and they both were like nah i gotta stick beside him. bucky fuckin dies and Steve drives his plane into the fucking ocean idc that he was holding a picture of peggy (which i do think steve loved her he’s my bi sexual king) you don’t think a tactician like steve couldn’t have figured out how to get the plane in the water and stay alive?? and then bucky literally his first memory we see is of steve (“but i knew him” the pain in his eyes im fuckin screaming). steve has always been his north star we see it in fatws he talks about what steve would want or what steve would do. that’s the one thing that bucky knew and bucky could trust even before hydra and the war. and i also love the fics that come from stucky writers like im in a lot of fandoms and some of the best written novels came from stucky.

3. idk if this is popular or unpopular but my headcannon is that steve is the only child of irish catholic immigrants and bucky is the eldest son of a jewish family. nothing can or will change my mind if this. also if we are talking mcu bucky, the decision to not give him the shield over sam was absolutely the correct idea he didn’t put in the work to take over for steve (also my biggest and most correct opinion is steve never would have went back in time to uproot peggy’s life like that, not because of bucky but because he got to hear from her how happy she was with her husband and no matter how much steve loved her he never would have gone back to take that away from her the russo brothers can meet me in the fuckin parking lot for that). also if they were at all invested in bucky, we should have seen his recover in wakanda not only would that have given us more of the beauty of the country, we could have gotten more bucky and i was fucking robbed!!

to ship or not to ship

[human-still-developing]

Hey, pal, I wanna make a goal of spending more time with paper than screens this fall. Care to make me a book recs list or suggest a buddy read?

Hi dear <3 Thanks so much for the ask @peggy-sue-reads-a-book! I love buddy reading or book recs so here's a whole bunch of books that I personally love/recommend for four different genres that I just picked out from the top of my head(if you're interested in any other genres, give me a shout-out and I'll get you a reading list ready <3). Get ready....this is going to be one long post :D I've linked a couple of my own Good-Reads reviews in there too and added some notes for the other novels <3

There's twenty books on this reading list...I've tried to give you a good mix of genres, time-periods and authors! Let me know what you think <3

Classics

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (This may seem over-rated but its such a beautiful piece of work. The characters, the world....its truly worth a read and isn't too long either)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (Its funny, timeless and beloved. The ultimate love story in Austen's charming prose. This is something that I believe every girl needs to read at least once in her life <3)

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (Okay this is a long one and I'd suggest reading it if you have a prolonged period of time because the nature of the book, involving many characters with many stories, is hard to keep track of without reading it regularly. Nevertheless, this is one of my favourite novels of all time and I adore Tolstoy's work)

All My Sons by Arthur Miller (My review from Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4820261003?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1)

Beowulf, translated by Seamus Heaney (How could I not include my favourite author of all time? This translation is incredible and perhaps the most true to its Gaelic roots. In the words of critic Terry Eagleton, Heaney preserves the 'pluck and slop' of writing, rather than the other sanitised translations of this work).

Fantasy

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo (I love love love this series so much. This is my favourite YA fantasy series of all time and its amazing. The characters, the plot, the slow unfolding of relationships...its a wonder!)

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (My review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4616997281?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1).

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (My review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4617000403?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1)

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (My review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4613024741?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1)

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (Haunting, chilling and achingly beautiful. A testament to immortality of childhood and to the fluid and flawed nature of memory. A fantasy novel which will be cherished by veterans of the genre and newcomers alike for the evocative, nostalgic prose that will sweep you out of this world.)

Poetry

Opened Ground by Seamus Heaney (What can I say? I love Heaney. This poetry collection especially is full of incredible writing, astute imagery and so much love)

Robert Frost (Not a poetry collection, I know, but his work is lovely and nostalgic for me who grew up reading him <3)

The Golden Gate by Vikram Seth (A modern verse-narrative with a clever take on Eugene Onegin. Recommended for lovers of traditional poetry revitalised.)

Words Under the Words by Naomi Shihab Nye (A modernist free-verse poet who's work I adore. Lovely and evocative).

Iliad by Homer (Not quite poetry but this epic is worth a read <3 Read it way back when I was studying Latin in high school and I'm still a huge Hector fan <3)

Other Fiction (haha, not really a genre but some other novels I love):

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr (My review here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4734320207?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1)

The Dry by Jane Harper (Breathtaking debut thriller-crime fiction novel. A poignant, heart-wrenching portrayal of the harsh realities of living in the Australian outback where desperate people are driven to desperate ends. A compelling mystery with a twist that'll leave you both satisfied and with a bittersweet acknowledgment of the tiny place you take up in the world.)

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (A slice-of-life historical novel with a charismatic narrator and poignant tale of love, loss and growing up in the bleak world of WWII Germany. It's the sort of novel that's hard to classify into a perfect genre; it's a beautiful piece that sort of exists on its own...haunting, elusive and magical.)

The Hunter's Wife by Anthony Doerr (A short story this time <3 This is the kind of story that will leave you pondering for days after you finish.)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (Couldn't help leaving this here for you @peggy-sue-reads-a-book <3)

[egcdeath]

welcome! before we begin, i want you to know some things about me:

my requests are currently open

i will write anything EXCEPT smut

you can join my taglist here!

now what you’re actually here for:

PATRICK ZWEIG X READER

life’s a beach - a chain smoking tennis player disrupts your day on the beach and uproots your entire summer vacation.

something old, something new - when your childhood best friend asks you to get married, how are you supposed to say no?

off the beaten path - what could go wrong with a non-refundable honeymoon and a broken engagement?

the old college try - you reconnect with an unexpected guest at the creator of your scholarship’s dinner party.

making a racket - as a celebrity, you often can’t control the narrative. you find that out the hard way when you enter a relationship with an infamous retired tennis player.

never go to bed angry - under the immense pressure of the suburbs, you and patrick deal with the fallout of an argument. 

SUCCESSION AU

sealing the deal - you and patrick make a few unique business proposals to each other.

going the extra mile - patrick takes care of you after a rough day at work. 

getting down to business - you and patrick deal with pre-wedding nerves.

soccer parent AU masterlist

one word prompt drabble masterlist

someone in the crowd - you and joel found your start as local musicians thirteen years ago, but ultimately drifted apart. after seeing him again, the two of you embark on a night of questionable decisions.

how the cookie crumbles - when you come back home to austin to help your sister with her bakery, you end up in an arrangement with your high school crush that ends up being far more than you bargained for.

coming soon…

coming soon…

father-daughter dance - frankie has some concerns before his first father-daughter dance.

spontaneous proposal - after years of being together, frankie is finally ready to propose to you… except his proposal doesn’t exactly go as planned.

love in bloom - every saturday morning jake brings you to the farmer’s market, and every saturday morning, you leave him a flower.

sunday kind of love - a glimpse into the best and most domestic day of the week for jake and the reader.

devil’s advocate - life isn’t all that bad for a former black widow turned hit woman. that is, until you meet a certain pain in the ass vigilante.

drabble masterlist

dad!steve masterlist

MULTI CHAPTERED

a blip in the reader-verse - a minor mistake causes a shift in the multiverse that only you have the capacity to fix. (mainly steve x reader, but future minor pairings will be added)

ONE SHOTS

unwinding - on valentine’s day, you receive a bit of a surprise. (tooth rotting fluff)

aunt flo - your monthly friend decides to visit you while staying over at steve’s. (fluff, many references to periods)

camper’s quarrel -  who would’ve guessed that a camping trip with your team and a man you couldn’t stand would go south so quickly? (that’s a rhetorical question.) (fluff, a little angst if you squint, enemies to lovers)

strangers again - [request] “hiiii sweetie!! can i request a steve x reader where he left yn for peggy. but he always felt guilty and missed yn. he would always stare at her pic. when he came back he bumped into yn while she was dropping a kid to daycare. and steve realized it was his son. kinda sad but fluff at the end pls!!!! and oh i super love your works!!! tysm 🌼🥺💕”

opposites attract - a villain!reader x steve rogers fic based off the song ‘ferrari’ by the neighborhood (fluff, angst, hurt/comfort)

likes repel - you finally find steve again, but things don’t go exactly how you expected them to. (part two to opposites attract)

act natural - sometimes, you just have to share the bed. (tooth rotting fluff, mutual pining)

tell your baby that i’m your baby - nothing good lasts forever, and your relationship with steve is no exception. (unrequited love, angst)

finders keepers - did captain america just steal your cat? (tooth rotting fluff)

second chances - you wake up on the side of the road with no memories, no posessions, and no place to go. luckily, an attractive stranger arrives just in time to help you out. (softdark)

in plain sight - steve makes your mission to pose as a married couple in the suburbs much easier than you expected. (tooth rotting fluff)

for old times’ sake - steve stands trial in the TVA. you are not pleased. (angst)

ways to say i love you without saying “i love you” - you and steve explore love languages. (fluff, a hint of angst)

hook, line, and sinker - steve was never meant to be anything more to you than a check, a basic mission. but somewhere along the way, things had veered from that. (angst, unhappy ending)

green eyed monster - a run in with your ex at a gala encourages everyone's green eyed monster to make an appearance. (minor angst, happy ending)

HEADCANONS

steve as a dad

ONE SHOTS

secret santa -  (coffee shop au, enemies to lovers)

a date with destiny - fate brings you to a... questionable man more than a few times. (fluff, strangers to lovers)

cabin fever - when a nasty snow storm ruins your girls trip to a ski lodge, you have to... adapt to your interesting new roommate. (strangers to lovers, fluff)

DIY - if there’s one thing life has taught you. it’s that if you want something done right, you’ll do it yourself. (warning: dark!reader)

first impressions - [request] “hmm prompts… Ransom introducing you (a total opposite of him) to his family for the first time, or a Thrombey wedding! if you feel like it” 

an apple a day - it seems like an apple a day couldn’t keep the doctor or ransom away. (fluff, hurt/comfort)

checkmate - you’ve always refused to lose, and love was no exception. (gone girl au)

ONE SHOTS

wrong place, wrong time - a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. [based off this prompt]

your birthday with multiple characters

[jerseydeanne]

Who even are Meghan and Harrys people?? Like every once in a while a B list person mentions them. And rhey have plenty of people they use as leakers.. but like it seems to me they are isolated alot? Like from the people they want to be associated with so badly you know. Its rather sad that they made such a short sided decision that they did by uprooting their kids from the BRF. Because it also strongly feels like they are becoming less and less relevant. Like no one cares if u play polo Harry.

On a side note I wonder if them being cut off from the elites more and more is why Meghan has been styled so badly lately. You would think designers would want to throw shit at her but it doesn't seem so. All her pieces look like they were picked up in a bargain bin.

I'm so sorry this is late, I got to writing and my puter froze and I had to go sell the donuts.

MM & Harriet's people are Sunshine Sachs and anyone who wants to get paid to do the dirty work.

The 6's can only get B-listers, they usually end up throwing people under the bus. Only beggars need to apply and people are willing to spit-shine their asses.

He's so full of shite, what a total hypocrite he has become. Harriett and her Husband Peggy Sue can fly private and stay in 5-star accommodations but you can go stay in a hut.

Non-profit my ass! Let their 15k followers buy into that crap. I love New Zealanders but really Harriet. The feeling I got is he wants to yell at the screen to all of us non-believers in his Great Reset scheme.

I'm picking up great hostility with him. He absolutely doesn't have a clue why people are so mad at him. He needs to promote the UK first. There are many youth hostile that need promoting since the plandemic.

The world is hurting, and energy prices are through the roof! Asia is in lockdown or doesn't he read the news? Fucktard!

Love, JD 😜💋

PS: Dude you're middle-aged! Young people still live with mom and dad, knucklehead!

[gooddaykate]

A little over 300 words of Steve Rogers Angst. I don't know what else to tell you.

The sky was dark when he finally found her up on the roof. He sat down next to her and let his feet dangle over the edge like hers. He was quiet, waiting for her to speak.

“When did you stop loving me?”

The question was quiet, and if he hadn’t been paying attention, he may not have heard it. It broke his heart.

“Sweetheart, I-”

“Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

Steve’s eyes dropped to his hands. He didn’t know how to respond, how to tell her that she was right.

“I was always just a placeholder, wasn’t I? Same with Sharon.”

She had yet to look at him. Her face was impassive, the only sign that she felt the words she was saying was the slight puff under her eyes and the waver in her voice.

Steve still didn’t know what to say to her.

“And you didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself. I had to hear from the man you tore lives apart to save. Is he the only one you told? You figure you might as well let him know that you’re abandoning him.”

She let out a humorless chuckle. “You weren’t counting on Bucky being a better person than you.”

It got quiet again and Steve turned back to face the lake. He’s not sure there’s anything he could say to make this better. They sat in silence for a little while longer, and then she moved to leave.

“I hope you know you’re screwing up everyone’s lives, Steve. Peggy Carter got married and had children. She had a life after you died. And you’re going to uproot her life because it’d make you feel better.”

He looked up at her and she finally met his eyes. “The world sees Captain America as this big, brave man. But you are a coward every time it counts, Steve Rogers.”

[usuallydeepcoffee]

I don't understand why so many people are angry about Steve's ending. It was always obvious to me that Peggy was the most important person in life. She was the only person who loved him before he got the serum, she believed in him when no one else did and inspired him to be a good person. Sam, Wanda and the rest of the Avengers are just his co-workers. He might have liked them but Peggy is his one true love, so of course he chose a life with her over a life with them. I would've done the same.

Personally I don’t think that characters like Sam or Bucky (or Nat, but she’s dead by the time the final battle in aeg takes place, so I won’t get into that) were “just co-workers”, but it still doesn’t change the fact that friends or not, people are free to make choices that take them on a different path without being considered deserters or bad people. IDK who put that into fans’ minds, but you’re not responsible for your friends’ happiness, and while I get that jokes about the end of the line make for funny memes, things can actually change as life throws shit and new opportunities at you and!! It still doesn’t mean you are a shitty friend.

 If a friend of mine got a new job opportunity in another country that was far away enough that would make even keeping up with e/o hard or impossible, do you know what would make me a bad friend? Convincing her to stay here because of me. Or wanting to punch her in the teeth because of it. 

That being said, I think it’s a mix of many factors. 

People have always underestimated Peggy’s relevance in Steve’s life, for one. I always see so many posts “proving” how all the cap movies revolve around saving B*cky, or Steve uprooting his life because of B*cky, but Peggy is also a constant as well, and she’s just as pivotal in his all movies. She pushes him to go out and save the 107th, she encourages him to join shield and even at her funeral she reminds him to stand up for his beliefs. So what people see as coming out of left field, I think it’s actually been there all along.

Another thing is that a lot of fans just... gather facts about Steve with little context or sympathy for the character. Like they get stuck on a sentence he says and take it as an absolute truth, and if he doesn’t swear by that sentence in the next 5 movies, then he’s OoC and he deserves all the hate (and it’s so weird how the hate is aimed at him and not the writers? lmao) the fans throw at him.

Like when at the end of aou he told Tony that he didn’t want a family, more or less. So now that is the absolute, written-in-stone truth and nothing can change that. Nevermind that he basically ended that movie in a full suit, which  underlines how he gave up trying to figure out what to be outside of a soldier (if you notice, in av1, cap2 and cap3 the last shots are of Steve without the suit on) 

Maybe he was trying to convince himself, more than telling an absolute fact. Maybe as the years passed and things happened, Steve’s position changed.

The Steve we see in aeg has seen and lost a lot, but mostly, he has been figthing for a long time. I don’t think him wanting to stop leading that kinda life warrants this amount of rage, but obviously, I disagree with that loud part of fandom.

Anyway, it’s normal that not everybody is on board with the writers’ choices all the time, and I could care less if someone online gets off on throwing tantrums about fictional characters (provided they tag appropriately). What’s a little more disturbing is that people are still ranting, raving about this now, years after the movie came out, and using any new content to rub it in our faces just how angry they are. 

[andro-dino]

UPROOTED EPISODE 4 TEN DEAD FIFTEEN INJURED

[vanderlustwords]

After You

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

24) You're my ex, but I think I still have feelings for you

Summary: For you, there were two important timelines in your life. There was before Steve and after Steve. Except it was complicated. Before, after, it doesn’t matter. It’s always been Steve for you. 

Warning: a n g s t

Note: I was in a mood LOL there will be a part 2! And YES, I’m still working on the requests in my inbox :)

Part I of II

Count: 2085

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Things tend to fall apart before coming together. 

It had been that way when you met Steve. You've known him for quite some time, nearly all your life, really. 

You had watched him fall in love with Peggy Carter, date her throughout high school and into university. You had watched him clumsily navigate his way through his relationship, eager to please, eager to commit, eager to propose, and have children one day.

And then you had watched him fall apart when Peggy Carter left. 

Steve was a mess. 

He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. He was...lost. 

It seemed like Steve would never recover from the emptiness Peggy left in her wake.

He says Peggy Carter was the woman who saw him before he had a massive growth spurt and started working out.

You don't know how to tell him you were--are too.

Even before Peggy Carter. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It had started with nothing more than casual hookups. 

The first time had been a drunken mess when you were out with Steve again for the umpteenth time at the bar.

It was Bucky's only idea left on how to get Steve out of the house, and you weren't opposed to it if it got him to leave the house, but you knew this couldn't continue on forever. 

And while he was having another drunken rant about Peggy Carter, you watched him with your own heavy-lidden tipsy eyes before grabbing the front of his shirt and smashing your lips to his.

"What are you-"

"Stop," you hissed as you bit his bottom lip in warning, "stop talking about her."

It took him a second, but he wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you close as he kissed you with renewed passion.

Casual hookups turned to friends with benefits. 

There were parts of it that gave you both relief and pain. On the one hand, Steve was starting to seem like himself a little again, slowly, but surely. But on the other hand, this wasn't exactly what you had wanted either.

He was looking at you, but not really.

But the small moments you got were what you couldn't afford to lose now that you've experienced it. 

And somehow, miraculously, casual hookups turned into a cautious, timid relationship.

"What?"

"Will you?" Steve asked as he swallowed visibly as dawn settled slowly, light flittering through his curtains. "Be my girl."

You slowly turned on your side, a little exhausted after the bedroom activities you've just done with him.

You were unsure; it showed in your eyes, and Steve tensed.

"Why?" 

Perhaps it was the way you asked it, but Steve blinked, putting the question and the unsureness in your eyes together. He tentatively pulled you closed to him, relaxing slightly when you didn't push him away. Steve traces your bare spine, warming when you shiver slightly.

"I didn't think there was anything for me after," Steve spoke softly and slowly. 

He can talk about Peggy Carter in vague terms now, it's small, but you feel like it shows he's moving on. 

"I don't know what any of it really means, but there's you. I see you."

It's not an 'I'm in love with you,' but you still want to cry as you feel the butterflies in your stomach.

Steve holds you close, rubbing your back as he smiles. 

"Besides, it's not proper of me to keep sleeping with you like this, I gotta make an honest woman outta you," he jokes, making you laugh as you slap him playfully.

"You're my girl," Steve says after the laughter dies down, almost as if he's testing the words himself.

"Yeah, I am," you smile. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

What you have with Steve is frail. It's shaky, careful, and shy. 

It's new for both of you. 

Steve's only dating experience is Peggy, and sometimes it feels like he's being overly cautious in watching for signs that you might leave him.

And you're nervous because Steve Rogers is finally yours. You didn't ever think this day would ever come. You were so sure you were going to have to swallow your feelings while you watched Steve and Peggy get married and live their happily ever after.

The first time you had a fight and survived it, you felt like everything was going to be okay. 

"I'm NOT upset," Steve firmly insisted. 

It was probably the long hours at work the both of you had to endure, meaning less time together.

There were reschedule dates, rushed good mornings and good nights, and sometimes the silence of missing the other person was too loud.

"You clearly are," you rolled your eyes because Steve's hands were clenched in a fist, his lips pressed together in a thin line, and brows furrowed.

"I'm not," Steve repeated. "Nobody likes someone who can't understand that life happens." 

He said it so fast that you almost missed it, but you didn't.

It only takes you a second to understand, and you flare up at him with a clenched jaw.

"I am not Peggy Carter," you say through gritted teeth. The name itself seems to make Steve brace himself, but you don't care. "Of course life happens. That doesn't mean it doesn't affect us."

Of course, you understood why Steve was unwilling to show unfavorable emotions.

After all, Peggy had left him for an opportunity somewhere in Europe. Understandably, Steve had been upset when she told him. Steve told her that she should have talked to him about it because he couldn't just uproot his life currently. Peggy said she didn't need his permission to go.

But Steve wasn't asking that she ask for his permission, he was asking where did he stand in her future. 

You grabbed his hand in your own, sighing as you pressed your lips to his knuckles.

"Steve, I am not Peggy Carter," you repeat. "If you're upset, then you can say so. I'm not going to leave when we're trying to build a life together. And life isn't just about everything working out without any issues. I want you to tell me if something is bothering you."

Steve stands there, staring at you while you stroke the back of his hand gently with the pad of your index finger while his hand rests on top of your other hand.

And suddenly he's pulling you into a tight hug, his head buried in your hair as he inhales the scent.

"I really missed you," he mumbles.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Building a life together turns out to be lovely. Knowing you can survive a fight seems to place the two of you in a better place. 

Steve hasn't said he loves you, but he sees a future with you. And for now, that's enough. 

"You're just glowing, doll," Bucky teases you while the two of you are going to house openings. 

Steve couldn't take time off work today, so Bucky offered to go with you.

You laugh bashfully.

"Why? Can you tell?" You smile, and Bucky just smiles softly for a second. 

"You're basically wearing a giant neon sign on your head," he smirks. "Lord knows your forehead could fit it."

"Bucky!" Your jaw drops with a hint of a smile as you slap his arm. 

He shields himself dramatically, and the two of you laugh, waiting patiently for the realtor to return.

"But, you're happy?" Bucky asks after a moment, soft and serious. 

You can't help the smile that forms on your lips. 

"Very much so."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

But, like all good things, they eventually come to an end. 

And you wonder if the end was beginning when Peggy Carter returns. 

She returns, and it's like she's never left. Peggy is still clever, headstrong, witty and sarcastic, charming, and appreciative. 

It's like she never left because she still wants Steve. 

Peggy is a no-nonsense woman, but she had no qualms about telling Steve she was still in love with him, wanted him back, and was willing to wait for him. 

Even fully aware that he was dating you now. 

The entire thing had shaken Steve up. He didn't come home for a couple days, but when he did, he was red in the eyes as he pulled you into a hug. 

And he had chosen you. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

For a while, things are okay.

Different.

But okay. 

This was obviously was something Steve still struggled with because it didn't seem like Peggy was going anywhere.

When things feel too overwhelming, you sit at the bar where you first kissed Steve, downing shots like it's your job. 

Things only go downhill when Peggy is there too, but seemingly picking up food rather than drinking. 

"Do you feel no shame at all?" You glare at her in your drunken haze. "You know he's clearly with me, and yet, you're still pursuing him. Where's your morality now?"

Peggy quirks her brow at you, turning to you as she waits for her food. 

"Steve is the love of my life," Peggy tells you, "I'm willing to do what I must to be with him."

"He's mine!" You nearly scream at her.

"But he doesn't love you," Peggy says calmly, and she knows she hit the nail right on your head when you're silent.

Peggy sighs as if she's tired of this conversation--of you. 

"Look," she tells you, "no matter what you may delude yourself into thinking, I am Steve's greatest love. I'm going to tell you what I told him."

Peggy runs her hand through her hair. "Sooner or later, he'll come back to me because I came back for him. That opportunity for me in Europe was nowhere close to being done, but because I love him--I can't stop loving him, I came back. If this were a movie, I'm his leading lady. And that makes you the side character."

The bartender comes back out with Peggy's food, and she takes it and leaves, not even sparring you another look. 

And like a side character, you can only down another shot.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It comes as no surprise to you when Steve, after all that turmoil, returns to Peggy Carter.

You sit alone in the dark of your apartment, texting the realtor at an ungodly hour to back out of the bid for the house. 

Still, that doesn't stop you from showing up at the house--your dream home that was supposed to be with Steve.

You stare up at it, eyes empty as flashes of the future that will never be come. 

Hours pass, but your feet are rooted there, a stupid, foolish hope that Steve will appear.

But when you feel a jacket slip over your shoulders, and you turn to see Bucky standing there sad for you, you know Steve isn't coming. 

"What are you doing standing out here, doll?" Bucky asks. 

You turn your head to look at the house before looking back at him, blinking. 

"He left me," you say like you're in disbelief. 

"Doll..." Bucky whispers, but he doesn't know what to say because Bucky can't say that isn't true. 

"It's like all this time, it was just a dream. A dream that Steve was blissfully passing the time with until he reality hit him. And that reality was Peggy Carter," you chuckle hollowly. 

But the tears come suddenly, overflowing quick and down your cheeks, even when you wipe them away, so you hide your eyes away in your hands. 

Bucky reaching his hand up toward you but freezes before they can touch you. 

"He left me," you choke, stuttering on your own breath. "He left me, and I can't breathe."

And Bucky throws out all his thoughts, pulling you into his arms as he holds you tight. He grips the back of your neck through your hair. He holds your head close to his neck as if to hide you from the world.

You feel him swallow, but Bucky doesn't say anything as he holds you while you fall apart in his arms.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It's easy for you to leave.

Pack everything in your apartment and move to another city. 

There's no goodbye letter, no goodbye text. You delete your social media and change your number. 

It takes months, but eventually, the new city air feels refreshing, and you feel like you can breathe again.

The only person who may know where you are is Bucky, who visits frequently. And although he is Steve's best friend, he won't open his mouth about you to him. 

And you don't ask about your former boyfriend.

You're learning to live your life after Steve. 

PART II

[moongoddessmox]

what are your thoughts on steve leaving to go back with peggy?? personally i hated it and didn't really like them, would've preferred her if she wasn't just his love interest in the movies

(this got long sry)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like, okay Stevie, I get it, you liked her. But enough to leave Bucky? The man you spent all your fucking movies trying to save????

If they had done more with Peggy, I would've liked her more. Like, I didn't hate her at all, but it just didn't feel like it made much sense for Steve to just up and leave Bucky like that.

I understand Steve not feeling right being in the future, like we see that in how he acts and stuff, he seemed very uncomfortable being in the future, HOWEVER. Steve uprooting the life Peggy had? Leaving his best friend? That felt...so not Steve Rogers.

Even when we see Peggy as an old woman, doesn't she say she only regrets that he didn't get to live his life or something? There really felt like no reason for him to go back in time like that. She lived a good long life. Maybe if they built them up to be the ultimate romance it would've made sense, but they didn't. It was brief.

And it's not even like a Stucky thing or anything. But Bucky was his best friend who he literally dedicated his life to saving and protecting and became a criminal to defend. Like. It felt very odd for Steve to just leave him like that after everything. They didn't even get to live together in the present without some shit going on.

While I understand Steve felt very out of place in the present time, it was out of character for him to leave Bucky like that. And not just leave Bucky, but to undo the life Peggy had.

Plus like.......how does that not fuck with the timeline and stuff? I only saw the last movies once so I don't remember but like. If Steve went back in time, does that mean that Bucky is still captured by Hydra? Does he save Bucky? Would that not change the future? I'm confused because if Steve is back in time with Peggy, which changes her outcome in the future. Wouldn't that also change everything else? If he did save Bucky from Hydra again, would that not change Bucky in the present? Or did he go to like, a different timeline or something? I don't remember. Even then, if he did, it wouldn't be Peggy Peggy, just like the Lokis are different.

Anyway, tl;dr Steve shouldn't have gone back in time lmfao

2.1k and Valentine's Celebration

[hh-rose]

Get Myself Back

ao3

playlist

Call him crazy, but Bucky assumed that when he came back from being turned to dust, he and Steve were finally going to get their happy ending. It would’ve been poetic. It was sappy, and Bucky was hardly a sap, but he thought he could allow being a sap this one time. 

Their story was already poetic and sappy and beautiful. Best friends who were always in love, but never together, torn apart by war and death. Best friend comes back from the dead but is horribly brainwashed and evil. Brainwashed assassin gets unbrainwashed just in time to get turned into dust. Then, of course, he comes back from being turned to dust. 

If Bucky was being completely honest, it seemed like a complete waste to not get a happy ending after that. He knew they had to take advantage of it because God only knew if they were going to get another chance. So, when everything died down, and Steve told Bucky that they needed to talk, Bucky expected it to be the happy ending talk. 

Call him crazy, but Bucky wasn’t expecting the conversation that he received. 

...

Bucky walked into the guest room he and Steve were sharing at Tony’s cabin just like he was asked to. He honest to God expected Steve to be on his goddamn knee when he walked in, no matter how cheesy that was. Instead, he saw a very distraught Steve pacing back and forth. 

“Steve?” Bucky asked. “What’s going on? What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m going to put the stones back where they belong,” Steve explained. Weird way to start this conversation, Bucky thought to himself.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he questioned. Steve stopped pacing and looked at Bucky. 

“No, no, you have to stay here,” Steve stated. Bucky’s eyebrows shot up toward his hairline. 

“And why’s that? Since when do we go on missions alone?”

“I’m staying in the past,” Steve said, looking straight into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky’s eyebrows fell back down into a straight furrow. “I’m staying in the forties with Peggy.”

“Peggy?” Bucky tested the name on his tongue. “I’m sorry. What?”

“She’s the love of my life, Buck.”

“She’s the what?”

“I thought you would be happy for me,” Steve said sadly.

“Happy? Happy? Why the hell would I be happy about this?” Bucky questioned angrily. “You’re throwing everything away to be with someone who you knew for a week? She’s not the love of your fucking life. You don’t even know her!”

“Bucky,” Steve chastised, shaking his head. “I love her. I would give up the world for her.”

“Yeah, well, last I checked, the only person you gave up the world for was me,” Bucky stated, biting his tongue afterward. He felt tears beginning to come up. “Why are you leaving me? I don’t understand. Am I not enough?”

“You’re perfect, Bucky,” Steve said, pushing some of Bucky’s hair behind his ear. Bucky backed away from him. “It’s just that I think it’s time that I take a nice retirement.”

“You can’t retire with me? You can’t have a happy life with me?”

“Buck.”

“When are you going?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“So we have tonight?” Bucky asked. Steve nodded. “I can’t convince you to stay. I know that. I deserve more than one night. I deserve to be happy and in love for the rest of my life, but I’ll settle for tonight. I assume that that’s something you want to, otherwise you wouldn’t have told me.”

“You deserve more,��� Steve stated. Bucky entered into his space.

“Yeah, I do,” Bucky responded, lips not an inch away from Steve’s. He held Steve’s t-shirt in his hands. “But I deserve a proper goodbye as well.”

...

Steve left and came back in a matter of seconds. He lived a whole goddamn life, but it was only a few seconds for Bucky. Bucky was seething with rage the entire time. He knew that it must’ve seemed odd that he wasn’t going crazy with worry, and he knew it was completely out of character for him to send Sam to Steve first.

“Did you know?” Sam quietly asked Bucky when he was done talking to Steve. Bucky just nodded silently. “You should go talk to him.”

“I really, really don’t want to,” Bucky replied. Sam made a disappointed face, but Bucky didn’t have the energy for that either. “Fine.”

“Buck,” Steve said happily when Bucky sat down on the bench next to him. “I missed you.” Bucky only hummed in response. “You didn’t miss me?”

“You were only gone a few seconds,” Bucky said flatly. 

“Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Bucky answered. He let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t really care. I’m numb right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not, and that’s okay. It’s your life, and clearly, I don’t have a place in that anymore.”

“You’re always going to have a place in my life.”

“Really?” Bucky questioned sarcastically. “Is that so? Then, I’m sure this will be an easy question to answer. When you were back in the past, did you try to save me? Your best friend, your previous lover, who was being tortured, did you try to save him?”

“I…” Steve began. “I couldn’t. You know that. I couldn’t mess up time like that.”

“So you were fine with completely uprooting Peggy’s life, but you couldn’t be bothered to go get me? That’s fine, Steve. If you didn’t care enough to help me, that’s okay, but fucking own up to it,” Bucky told him. 

“I do love you. I…I did,” Steve assured him. Bucky nodded. 

“I know. Just not as much as you loved her, and not nearly enough as I loved you.”

...

It was only a few days later that Steve died. It’s not like they weren’t expecting it; he was exceptionally old. Another funeral wasn’t exactly what the group needed at the time, but they put one on nonetheless. 

It was a nice service. Not that Bucky would know as he was completely shitfaced the entire time. He stayed quiet for the most part. That was until the dinner afterward. Everyone was eating and telling their favorite stories about Steve. Bucky took a sip of his drink, smiled, and put it down on the table.

“You have a story to share, Bucky?” Scott asked. 

“Yes, I do,” Bucky slurred. “I came out to Steve when we were fifteen years old. It just kind of happened. I wouldn’t have planned to do it. It was the fucking thirties. Anyway, before he had the courage to come out to me, he said, ‘I still love you, Buck. I’m never gonna leave you. I’m with you till the end of the line.’”

“That’s sweet,” Wanda offered, but Bucky didn’t pay her any mind. 

“Til the end of the fucking line. That was his little phrase. He said to me all the time. Every time I was sad or in danger, ‘til the end of the line,’” Bucky said with a bitter laugh. “He didn’t say it to me again before he died. The one time I needed to hear it. He just fucking left me. First, for her, and then he just fucking died. ‘Til the end of the line my ass.”

“Bucky,” Sam cut in, eyes wide and upset. He watched Bucky down the rest of his drink. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Why don’t we head home?”

“What fucking home?” Bucky asked, causing everyone to look at him. “I lived alone in a shack in Wakanda. Of course, we could always go back to Steve’s apartment that I lived in for quite some time as well.”

“My place. We can go to my place,” Sam told him. 

“I’m not a fucking baby, pigeon,” Bucky spat. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“I know that,” Sam said softly. “Let’s just go, okay?”

“Fine, but I’m drinking there,” Bucky agreed. Sam groaned and helped Bucky up, out of the hall, and into the car. He was complaining the whole time, but eventually, he passed out in the passenger seat. 

“Bucky,” Sam said, shaking him when they arrived at Sam’s apartment complex. He realized that that wasn’t going to work, so he decided to just get out of the car and help. He managed to get Bucky to his feet and start walking up to his apartment. 

“He left me,” Bucky murmured so low that Sam wasn’t sure he heard him right. Sam pressed the button to the elevator and stepped inside, Bucky still heavily leaning on him. “He left me, Sam.”

“I know,” Sam whispered back. He had never seen Bucky this vulnerable, and he felt like he was intruding for a number of reasons. 

“I loved him so much,” Bucky whispered back as the elevator doors opened. Neither one of them said anything as they walked to Sam’s apartment. Once they got inside, Sam led Bucky to his bedroom. 

“Alright, let’s lay you down here,” Sam said, sitting Bucky down on the bed, but Bucky resisted. 

“No,” he groaned. “Couch. This is your bed.”

“It’s okay, Bucky. You can take the bed tonight,” Sam assured him. Bucky nodded and laid down. “Do you need anything else?”

“‘M good,” Bucky replied. Sam turned to leave the room, but he heard Bucky whisper, “I loved him so much, Sam, but I wasn’t good enough.”

Sam nodded sadly before shutting off the light and closing the door. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had gotten himself into, but he did know that it was Captain America’s job to take care of Bucky Barnes. 

...

Sam was up early the next morning. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. “Up early” implies that he went to sleep at all, and “sleep” was an over-exaggeration for his restless night on his living room couch. Either way, he was exhausted sitting at his kitchen counter anxiously waiting for Bucky to wake up. He knew that they needed to talk, but he also knew that Bucky was not big on talking. 

“Wilson?” Sam heard Bucky’s groggy voice from the hallway. He then appeared in the kitchen. “What the hell happened?”

“You drank three times your body weight,” Sam explained, getting up to pour Bucky a cup of coffee. Bucky sat down across from Sam at the counter and accepted the drink. 

“I’m not even able to get drunk,” Bucky murmured. 

“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” Sam replied with a smirk. Bucky glared at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Bucky stated flatly. Sam nodded. Then he yawned. “Tired?”

“Extremely. The couch isn’t exactly the best place to sleep,” Sam responded, taking a sip of his coffee. “And that is precisely why we’re moving.”

“What?” Bucky asked, eyes wide. Sam chuckled lightly. 

“We’re gonna get a two-bedroom,” Sam told him. “I’m not taking no for an answer. Not that you would have any reason to say no. I’m just giving you a roof over your head. It’s a kindness really.”

“Oh, shut up,” Bucky said, but he was smiling. “You really want to live with me?”

“No,” Sam replied plainly, but then his face cracked into a grin. Bucky smiled back, and that was just the beginning. 

...

It didn’t take Sam and Bucky long to find an apartment they liked. They moved into their new place less than a week after they decided to move in together. Living together was definitely the right call. This way Sam could keep an eye on Bucky at all times. 

Bucky wasn’t doing well. Not that that was a surprise because he hadn’t been doing well since the forties. He wasn’t okay before, and Steve leaving shattered whatever was left of him. Sam knew that if he left Bucky to his own devices, it would’ve been a disaster. 

It had been months since Steve when Sam had had enough. At first, he really wanted Bucky to cope however was necessary, but after a while, Sam knew that it needed to stop. He came to this startling realization in the middle of the night when he heard crying and things crashing coming from the bathroom. 

“Bucky?” Sam asked, terrified as he walked closer to the bathroom. He pushed the door open and saw Bucky standing in front of the mirror. There were tears streaming down his face, and he was holding Sam’s electric razor.

“He loved my hair,” Bucky said angrily. He was looking at Sam through the mirror. “He loved it when we were kids, and he loved it before he left. His hands were always in it, and that is the only thing I can think of when I look in the mirror.”

“Okay,” Sam replied, nodding. “Do you want me to help?”

“Would you mind?” Bucky asked, looking into Sam’s eyes through the glass. Sam smiled softly. Bucky already knew the answer to the question. Sam stepped forward and took the clippers from Bucky’s hand. 

“How short are we talking?” Sam questioned, inspecting Bucky’s hair. 

“Buzzcut,” Bucky replied. Sam’s heart broke a little bit but he did as he was told. 

Sam was being incredibly careful as he touched and cut Bucky’s hair. He knew that this was something that Bucky was vulnerable about, and he didn’t want to trigger him in any way. It was incredibly hard to do that, though, when Bucky would roll his neck like that. 

“All done,” Sam said, voice barely above a whisper. Whatever the hell just happened was the most intimate thing they ever did, and it was greatly affecting Sam. He finally looked at Bucky’s full head in the mirror, and that affected him even more. “You like it? Did I do a good job?”

“I love it,” Bucky answered, moving closer to the mirror. He rubbed his head and smiled to himself. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Sam said with a smile. He left the bathroom and went to his room. He threw himself onto the bed with a huff. “Fuck.”

...

Obviously, after that whole mess, Sam knew that he needed to do something. He needed to help Bucky. He also knew that there was something new to how he felt about Bucky, but now was not the time to worry about that. His only concern was helping the man who was currently sitting on the couch after a mission that exhausted both of them.

“Man, I am wiped,” Bucky said, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Maybe I’ll actually sleep through the night tonight.”

Sam hummed, but he hated what that statement suggested. He hated that Bucky wasn’t sleeping. He hated all of it. He knew that it was now or never.

“Did Steve ever tell you about Riley? My Riley?” Sam asked. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him, and Sam took that as a no. “He was my best friend. Somewhere along the line, we fell in love, and he became my entire world. I loved him with my entire being.

“He died when we were in the Air Force together. It absolutely destroyed me. It was the worst and darkest time in my life,” Sam explained. “I didn’t think I would ever get out of that place. He was my person, and he wasn’t there to help me anymore. Being with him, talking to him, it would make me feel better immediately, and I didn’t have that anymore. So, I wrote him a letter, and it helped. I got closure. I miss him every single day, but it doesn’t hurt like it used to.”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Bucky said softly. Sam smiled at him. “Did the letter really help?”

“It did,” Sam told him. “I can’t promise you that it’ll help you the same way it helped me, but I do think that maybe you should try. Just give it a try, okay?”

“Anything for you, Sammy my boy,” Bucky replied, grinning. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Barnes. I’m going to shower,” Sam said, pushing Bucky’s shoulder before getting off the couch. He heard Bucky clear his throat, and he turned around. 

“Thank you,” Bucky said genuinely. He looked Sam in the eyes, and that feeling of intimacy from the night before hit them both again. 

“Anything for you, Bucky my boy.”

...

It was a few hours later, and Bucky was sitting on his bed with a notebook on his lap. He ripped out yet another page, crumpled it up, and groaned. He took a deep breath and started again.

Dear Steve,

I’ve tried to start this about ten times, but I keep starting over. I’m not gonna start over this time though. I have a lot of feelings about all of this, and as we both know, I’m not great with feelings. I need to get it all out though.

 I don’t want to be mad at you. I have never been mad at you, but there have been so many times when you deserved for me to be mad at you. I loved you too much, though. I loved you too much to see that what you were doing warranted me being mad. I loved you too much, and you were too selfish. 

 You were always selfish from day one. You were sick, and you said you were fine because you wanted to play football with the rest of us. You got pneumonia after that, Steve. You could’ve died.  

 You got into fights with people who could have easily killed you because you wanted to. You didn’t care that your ma cried herself to sleep at night because she was so worried about you. You didn’t care that I was terrified to find you dead in some alley.  

 Then, you kept trying to get into the war even though you knew that you would die. You were going to die, Stevie. There was no other way. I was selfish at that point. I was so happy that they wouldn’t let you fight. I didn’t want you to die. Do you see the difference, Steve? I was selfish because I wanted you to live. I was selfish for you. 

 Then, you showed up all not you. You changed yourself because you wanted something so badly. You didn’t change yourself because you wanted to save the world. You just wanted the glory. You were selfish. 

 Then, a century later, you broke laws because you were selfish. Don’t tell me that you did that for me. I would have believed you if you told me that a few years ago, but not now. I know better now. 

 I wish you did it for me. I hoped for years that one day, one day you would be selfish for me. For us. I thought that you felt the same way. I thought that you were finally ready to settle down with me after everything that happened. You had one last piece of selfishness in you, and I thought you were going to use it for us. 

 But, of course, you used it for her. How could I be so stupid? How could I expect you to ever put anyone before yourself? Did you know that she had a family? She had kids, kids who don’t exist anymore thanks to you. You messed up the entire universe because you wanted to fuck some dame you met a hundred years ago.  

 So, yeah, now I’m mad, and I have every right to be mad. I love you. I loved you. I’ll probably always love you, but I really don’t want to be in this pain anymore. I don’t want to be in agony anymore. I want to let this all go. 

 I don’t forgive you. I’m not ready for that yet, and I’m not sure when that is going to be. I do know that I love you, and I hate hating you. I hate how I feel. I know that you loved me. Even though that wasn’t enough to keep you here, it is enough to get me through the day.

 I’m going to have a good life. I am. I’ll keep our memories (the good ones) with me until the end, but I think that it might be time to put that behind me. I’ll put you in a little box in my mind where you’ll be happy, and I’ll get to be happy too. 

 I hope that you had a nice life without me. I’m sure that sounds very bitter, but it’s only a little bitter. That’s what you do for the people you love, Steve. You hope that they’re happy, even if it’s not with you. 

 Wow, I really thought I was done, but I just can’t seem to end this. I guess I just miss talking to you. I miss you every second of the day, and I’m always going to miss you. It’s okay though. It’s all going to be okay. I’m going to move on, and everything is going to be fine. I’m going to be fine, Steve. I’m going to be fine without you. 

 You were the one who decided that this was the end of the line, and now I’m deciding that I’m not with you anymore. 

 Sincerely, 

Bucky 

Bucky closed the notebook and slept through the night for the first time in months. 

...

Sam didn’t want to say that Bucky was magically healed, but he was certainly better than he was before. He was smiling and laughing, and it was making Sam’s heart fucking soar. Bucky was sitting next to him on the couch laughing at the movie they were watching, and Sam couldn’t stop staring at him.

“What are you looking at, Wilson?” Bucky asked, not looking away from the tv. Sam’s face heated up so much that he thought he was on fire. 

“Just admiring my handiwork,” Sam explained, turning his attention to Bucky’s hair, which was growing in nicely. 

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky asked, turning his head to face Sam at last. “You think it looks good?”

“Yeah,” Sam replied softly, internally freaking out. “It looks real good, Bucky.”

“Yeah?” Bucky questioned, voice just above a whisper. He made eye contact with Sam, and something just changed in the air. “It’s really soft now that it’s short.”

“Can I...Can I, uh…?” Sam tried to ask, but it didn’t come out. Bucky just smiled at him and nodded. Sam bit his lip and slid his hand into Bucky’s hair. “You’re right. It’s very soft.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Sam told him. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. “I like it when you smile.”

“Haven’t had much of a reason to smile recently, but, um, you helped me with that,” Bucky explained. Sam’s fingers tightened in his hair, and his eyes fluttered closed. 

“Glad I could help,” Sam whispered, face only a few inches away from Bucky’s where they were sitting turned into each other on the couch.

“It would help even more if you kissed me,” Bucky stated. Sam’s eyes went wide before his pupils enlarged. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Positive. Kiss me.” 

Sam took a deep breath before leaning forward and connecting his lips with Bucky’s. They were both hesitant at first, but when Bucky made an attempt to deepen the kiss, Sam immediately allowed for it to happen. He pushed Bucky down so he was lying on the couch was Sam leaning over him. 

“You’re still sure?” Sam asked, hovering for a moment. 

“If you don’t get your pretty face down here and kiss me, I’m going to break your wings.”

“Aw, you think my face is pretty,” Sam said, ducking down to give Bucky a chaste kiss on the cheek. He smirked before moving down to kiss Bucky’s neck. 

“Oh my God,” Bucky groaned. He could feel his pants getting tighter, and he was embarrassed for a second until he bucked up and realized they were in the same boat. 

Sam pushed Bucky’s hips down with his own and ground slightly, not wanting to move too fast. Bucky pulled Sam’s face up to his lips again, and Sam happily obliged. His hands began to wander down Bucky’s torso until they found the waistband of his boxers.

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure again,” Bucky said between pants. “I’m fucking positive. Do whatever you want as long as you’re okay with it.”

“You got it, Sergeant,” Sam responded, and the moan he received made him almost die. “Like that?”

“Yes,” Bucky whispered. Sam smiled to himself before placing a light kiss on Bucky’s lips. His lips then began to trail to where his hands currently were. 

“You’re in for the night of your life, Sergeant Barnes.”

...

Needless to say, that was not the only time that happened. It became a pretty regular thing between the two of them. They hadn’t really talked about it, which Sam, ever the therapist, wasn’t happy with, but he wasn’t exactly ready to stop doing it. 

“Buck,” Sam said in between moans as Bucky kissed greedily at Sam’s neck. “Maybe we should talk.”

“I think I’d much rather keep doing what I’m doing, thanks,” Bucky replied into the skin he was sucking at. Sam rolled his eyes, from both pleasure and annoyance. 

“Bucky,” Sam breathed out. Bucky pulled away and looked Sam in the eye.

“Look, Sam, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want, but I’m pretty sure you’re enjoying yourself,” Bucky informed, smirking as he ran his hand up Sam’s thigh. “Sure, we could talk, or I could do the tongue thing.”

“The tongue thing?” Sam asked, knowing exactly what Bucky was referring to. Bucky smirked and nodded. Sam bit his lip. “That’s not fair, Barnes. You know I can’t say no to that.”

“I know full well, darlin’,” Bucky replied, kissing behind Sam’s ear. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Sam stated. Bucky nodded in a “yeah, sure, whatever you say” way. “Now, get down there.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

...

Sam planned to stick to his word, even if Bucky didn’t have that same plan. So, the next night when Bucky sat down next to Sam on the couch, fully prepared to repeat the events of the night before, Sam stopped him.

“So, we’re actually gonna talk?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah,” Sam responded. Bucky groaned and not in the way that normally made Sam’s stomach flip. “This is really fun, and I really care about you. But, um, I want more.”

“More?” Bucky asked. 

“More,” Sam confirmed. “I want a real relationship.”

“Oh, so you want to stop this so that you can get into a real relationship.”

“What? No, of course, not. I want a real relationship with you,” Sam explained. Bucky’s eyes went wide, and he jumped off the couch and started pacing. Sam remained sitting. “If that’s something you’re interested in, obviously. And, if it’s about not being ready, I can wait until you’re ready. I just want to know if there’s any chance at us having a future.”

“There’s not,” Bucky said plainly, not looking at Sam. Now, it was Sam’s turn to stand up. 

“What?”

“Come on, Sam. We both know what this is,” Bucky told him, turning around to look at Sam. “We started this as a way to make me feel better after Steve, and you know it.”

“That’s not why I started it,” Sam replied softly and sincerely. Bucky let out a bitter laugh. 

“Well, it’s why I started it,” Bucky informed him. “That’s all you are, Sam. You’re just a replacement for Captain America, for the whole world, but especially for me. And you know that deep down all I am is a replacement for Riley.”

Bucky regretted it the moment it left his mouth. He had no idea what had taken over him in that moment. He didn’t believe any of those things. He cared so much about Sam, and the look on Sam’s face shattered Bucky’s heart into a million pieces. 

“I’m gonna go,” Bucky said. Sam nodded, but then his eyes went wide. 

“Wait, no, where are you gonna go?” Sam asked, worried. 

“Just for a walk,” Bucky responded. “I’ll be back.”

“Okay,” Sam said, and with that, Bucky was gone. Sam flopped down onto the couch that Bucky picked out for their apartment. “Fuck.”

...

Two hours later, Sam was positive that Bucky was never coming back. He told himself that Bucky must’ve cut his losses and moved on. Sam fucked everything up, and he knew it. He felt it too. He felt like absolute shit as he sat in Bucky’s bed wearing the hoodie that Bucky always told him was his favorite of Sam’s. He was about to start crying when he heard a knock on the door. He got up from the bed, unaware of who could possibly be at the door.

“Hey,” Bucky greeted when Sam opened the door. “I forgot my key. Sorry.”

“No worries,” Sam responded, walking away from the door to let Bucky in. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and started walking towards his room. 

“It took me a long time to teach myself that I deserved love,” Bucky blurted out. Sam slowly turned around. “After a while, I really believed that I did. Steve, he, uh made me believe that I did. I wanted to die when I woke up. I deserved to die, but he told me that I was worth the world, and I believed him. I believed him, and then he fucking left me. He took that belief with him. If the only other person who believed I deserved to be loved left me, then I knew that I didn’t deserve anything. He fought for me, and then he gave up on me. I gave up on myself too.

“Then, um, I realized that he never fought for me. It was never for me,” Bucky explained. “I came to terms with that part of it. I still wasn’t sure about the whole ‘deserving love’ thing quite yet, but then there was you. You helped me when I was in my darkest place, and it wasn’t for you. You helped me because you wanted me to be better. Steve never did that. He saved me so that he could have me. You helped me because you wanted me to get myself back.

“I know that I deserve love, and so do you. You are the kindest to ever exist. You deserve to be Captain America, probably more than Steve did. You’re not a replacement for anything, and I know that I’m not either. I know that, and I’m so sorry that I let you believe anything else. If you still want, we can have a future together because as far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a universe where you aren’t in my life for the long run, Sam Wilson,” Bucky stated, finishing his little speech. He was looking into Sam’s eyes but Sam was just standing there not saying anything. Then, Sam broke eye contact by looking at the floor. 

“After Riley died, I never thought I was going to love anyone ever again,” Sam stated. “And that was okay because I thought that he was the love of my life. I know now that sometimes you’re lucky enough to have more than one great love in your life. I only know that because of you. I didn’t know it was possible until I met you.

“You’re not a replacement for Riley, and you never will be. I’m always going to love Riley, and you’re always going to Steve. That doesn’t mean that we can’t love each other,” Sam explained. He smiled. “I do, by the way. I do love you, so much.”

“Oh, God, I love you so fucking much, Sam,” Bucky said, face splitting into a grin. “I need you to know that you’re not less than Steve in any way.”

“I know,” Sam said softly. He took a few steps forward so he was closer to Bucky. He played with the hem of Bucky’s shirt. “You love me?”

“I love you,” Bucky whispered back. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“When did you turn into such a sap, Barnes?”

“The moment I laid eyes on you, sweetheart,” Bucky joked, but he gave Sam a sweet kiss on the cheek all the same. “What do you say, Sammy? Wanna consummate this new relationship?”

“I don’t think that’s how that works at all, but yes, I do,” Sam replied, chuckling lightly before leaning forward to kiss Bucky.

...

Several hours later,  Bucky was nuzzled under Sam’s arm in Sam’s bed. Well, he supposed that it was probably going to be their bed from now on. With that thought in his mind, he drifted into a deep sleep.

Bucky was back in his Brooklyn apartment in the forties. He smiled to himself as he looked around. Then, he saw a shadow in his old room. 

“Hello?” Bucky asked, moving toward his room.

“Hey, Buck,” a voice said. All of the sudden, Steve, young Steve, was standing in front of Bucky. “I missed ya, jerk.”

“You’re dead,” Bucky said incredulously. “You died.”

“This is very clearly a dream,” Steve informed him. “It’s me, and I’m talking to you, but you’re asleep.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, please don’t.”

“I am sorry though,” Steve stated. “Extremely. The way I treated you was horrible, and I feel awful. I don’t regret what we had, I don’t regret our time together, but I also don’t regret my time with Peggy.”

“Okay.”

“I really did love you,” Steve said. “And I miss you more than words can say.”

“I miss you too, Steve, and I love you. I’ll always love you, but I really do think that it’s time to put you in the past,” Bucky stated, a tear falling from his eye. “It’s time for me to get my happy ending or middle or whatever. It’s time for me to live my life without you.”

“With Sam,” Steve said, a grin taking over his face. Bucky blushed. “I’m happy for you, both of you.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said, voice just above a whisper. 

“I hope you have a very happy life, Buck.”

“I think I will,” Bucky replied, looking down at the floor trying to hide his smile. “I’ll see you on the other side, pal.”

“Hopefully a long, long time from now.”

...

Bucky woke up with a smile on his face, but that smile went away when he realized that Sam wasn’t with him in bed anymore. He rubbed his eyes and groaned before getting out of the bed. When he walked out into the hallway, he smelled food cooking. The smile returned. 

Sam was standing in front of the stove diligently cooking eggs just how he knew Bucky liked them. He was wearing sweats and no shirt, and Bucky’s heart skipped. He quietly walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his waist, and planted a kiss on the back of his neck. 

“Sleep good?” Sam asked, turning his face so that Bucky could kiss him. 

“Very,” Bucky responded against Sam’s lips. Sam smiled and Bucky kissed him again. 

“What’s got you so romantic this morning?” Sam asked, turning back to his eggs.

“Just love you is all,” Bucky explained, tightening his arms around Sam’s waist and hooking his chin over Sam’s shoulder. 

“I like hearing you say that,” Sam whispered.

“I like saying it,” Bucky whispered back. “I’m sure I’d like to hear you say it even more though, sweetheart.”

“I love you, old man,” Sam said with a smile. Bucky rolled his eyes. He pulled away with a groan.

“Nah, you hate me,” Bucky joked, sitting down at the counter. Sam rolled his eyes and put the eggs on a plate for Bucky.

“If I hated you, would I go out of my way to make your disgusting ass over easy eggs?” Sam asked, putting the place in front of Bucky.

“Maybe,” Bucky pouted. Sam raised his eyebrows at him. “Fine, maybe you love me.”

“Mhm,” Sam responded. 

“Hey,” Bucky said, grabbing Sam’s hand before he went back to the stove to make his own breakfast. “I want to have happy mornings like this for the rest of our lives.”

“I can make that happen,” Sam said, planting a kiss on top of Bucky’s head. 

Call him crazy, but Bucky thought that he finally met his soulmate. In fact, he knew it, and he knew he was going to have the happiest life with Sam. 

[dabblinginmarvel]

Five Years Since

DabblingInMarvel Short Imagine #322

Request: First I want to say that your fics are wonderful. And I want to request a fic where Steve Rogers is dating the reader and the last she knows is that they're on the run but he lost her (endgame) and they meet five years later

Plot: Steve lost the reader during the Snap while they’re still on the run, and they meet again five years later.

Blog Tag: @chandelle13​

A/N: I’m so sorry it’s been so long. I hope this is still welcome.

Warnings: None

Word Count Total: 768

Short Imagine #322

Title: Five Years Since

It had been five years since the Snap. Five years since he had seen you, or Sam, or Bucky. He had run inside the Wakandan palace with the permission of the remaining Dora Milaje a few minutes after he caught his breath and found that Shuri had vanished, and so had you. There were piles of dust in the lab, but no one there. He collapsed on his knees again and began to sob. His hand landed on something small and hard and he picked it up. It was your necklace. You had left it behind.

He had picked it up in his fist gently and brought his fist to his heart. He could still have you with him even if you were gone.

First he had to watch Sam and Bucky go, but he couldn’t even see you before you vanished?

As he looked at the necklace now in his hand after hosting another Snap Survivor Session. What a fool he was, such a hypocrite. Here he was counseling people how to move past the survivor’s guilt and he was doing no such thing.

- - -

It had been five years since he had last seen you. He had nothing else to lose; but the rest of the world did. You did. And so did Tony. They had to make it out of this. They had to succeed. Everyone depended on it.

When Sam’s voice came through his earpiece, the loss he felt started to fill and only finished when he saw you walk through one of the portals side-by-side with Bucky. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he had to push them back. No reason to get distracted, now.

There was no reason to expect Tony to be okay with everyone who had opposed the Sokovia Accords, but when Steve saw him deflect an attack coming from behind you, he smiled. Maybe they would all be okay.

He decided later that he had counted his eggs before they hatched. He hadn’t even been able to say goodbye to Tony. He knelt in solidarity with the true hero, then felt something slip into his hand. He looked up and saw you kneeling at his side. The weight in his had felt both foreign and familiar. But it wasn’t the time to celebrate, so he squeezed your hand instead.

- - -

It had been five years since you had been by his side, and now you were back. You, Sam, and Bucky. And now he was leaving. Everyone expected it of him because he almost ran into Peggy. But only he knew he was returning. There was absolutely no reason for him to stay in the past. The present was unfamiliar to him, but the past was a completely other dimension, and he didn’t belong there.

Sneaking through the base to return the Space Stone was a difficult task, but he was successful. Only one instance did he almost get caught when he checked out Peggy’s office again. There was no reason to uproot her life and spin it on its head. She was going to have her own family, and it was time to return to his.

The shock in Bucky’s eyes when Steve returned was near palpable, but the joy in yours meant everything to him. He dropped the shield on the ground and ran up to you, spinning you in a circle and lifting you off your feet, the love in his heart making his heart swell. Your lips met and he held you tighter before releasing you.

“I think I owe you something.” He pulled the necklace from his pocket. “May I?”

You grinned and turned around, allowing him to put your necklace back on you.

Bucky waited a moment before speaking. “I thought you were going to stay back there.”

“I realized I have more here than I have in the past.” Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your head. “But I do have one more thing I have to do.”

He bent over and picked up the shield. Bucky met his eye and nodded subtly. “Sam, it’s time for me to retire from being the Captain. The world doesn’t need me as the Captain anymore, but they need you. As the world changes, we have to change with it. You’re what they need.”

Sam gingerly took the shield and Steve turned back to you and pulled you into his arms again. “It’s you and me, now. We’re free to build our own futures. Will you build it with me?”

You smiled back. “I will.”

 - - -

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[captainjimothycarter]

My personal headcanon about Peggy becoming Director of SHIELD is because she was not only the best person for the job but because she was pregnant at the time, and that was how to take her out of the field and put her on desk duty 😂

Peggy would 100% know what’s up. Is she annoyed? Hell yeah. But is she smug about getting the co-director position? Yep. Does she know her husband and Phillips conspired behind her back to do this with Howard and even Jarvis’ input? Yep. Is Steve gonna pay the second she’s on maternity leave? Hell yeah.

--

She knows they’re talking about her. Even if its just Steve and Phillips in the office or even Steve and Howard. There are too many people together in one room that all know her not to talk about her. Not that Peggy is being vain here, but she sees the look in Steve’s eyes when she walks in. Steve is of many things, including her amazing husband, father of her child, Captain America, but he is not a spy. He cannot lie for anything.

Phillips on the other hand? She’s seen him lie through his front teeth. So it’s best she got her intel at the source. Steve.

This first came about when Peggy had announced she was pregnant. She and Steven had known for months beforehand but kept it to themselves to enjoy the quiet life before the bombarding questions started. They’d first told Ana and Jarvis, asking them to be the godparents. Howard pouted but eventually said he supposedly understood. Then came Shield. Peggy can swear she’s never seen Phillips beam like that other than when they’d finally married.

That’s a whole another story.

The worrying started on day one with Steve. Steve cannot lie to save his life but he can try to cool his emotions so he’s not overly worried and babying her. The hysterics started three months after, right when they’d found out the sexes.

Twins.

Dear God, they were having twins.

Before that Steve had been whispering to Phillips, new Director of both districts of Shield in New Jersey and DC. She’d rarely seen him as of late, their schedules polar opposites but Steve seemed to always be with him. He claimed it was some Shield business he was handling but Peggy saw right through that.

The foot was laid down when she’d gotten hurt in the field. It wasn’t even a dangerous mission. Get in, get some information on the recently stolen drives, get out. Easy peasy. She could’ve done this in her sleep. Except her pregnancy made her slow. Sick. She wounded up with a black eye, busted lip, and a two-inch gash on her ribs.

She’s seen turn absolutely feral before in times of danger when a child’s life was in danger. She’s seen him barrel through rows of Nazi’s to get their men out from the other side. Defend a German child from the ends of guns because he was just a boy, just trying to survive, who knew no different. Shoot a man point-blank in the face for breaking into their home and trying to kill him. But this? This Steve Rogers was different. He’d seen her hurt before and barely held it together and even as a married couple he knew to keep his affection downplayed in public but this was not that time. This Steve Rogers was an absolute mad man when it came to defending his wife and unborn children.

She’d never seen him look that way before and quite frankly, she’d never like to see that look on his face again. It didn’t terrify her. She would never be afraid of Steve, but she was wary. He was always sensitive and on edge after those moments. Trying to make himself smaller, as if he was a foot and a half less, and a whole hundred something pounds smaller. She felt for him, she truly did.

Perhaps that was the drawing line, as she was getting the wound stitched up by a medic, Steve’s eyes never leaving hers and refusing medical care despite how he wounded up with a knife in his side too. Two weeks after that incident, when the wound was healed and stitches taken out, Phillips barged into her office without knocking, as he was prone to do. With him was Steve who’d gone out to get lunch.

“I’ll call you back,” Peggy murmured into the phone and sat it back in its cradle, turning in her chair to face Phillips. She’s grown in the past weeks, stomach three times its size to accommodate for the twins. Everyone was on edge, wanting to know how the serum would affect their growth , and right now, Peggy could tell you just from their kicking alone they were grounded until they were twenty-two.

“Was that Doctor…?” Phillips clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, trying to find the right answer. Out of the hundreds of doctors between them, names did get mixed up. “The one wanting to know about the progress on the antidote.”

“Doctor Helen? No, no. That was Michael. He’d called to say he’ll be coming over.” Not that it was any of his business what her brother and she did but the answer seemed to satisfy Phillips. Daresay, he almost looked relax. “What’s the matter? Did we find a hit on that 084?”

Peggy started to raise out of her seat, but Steve shook his head and settled her back down. He set her vinegar salad and ginger tea in front of her. Phillips rolled his eyes and took his seat in front of the desk. “No, sit down and eat before you pass out again. If I have to deal with a frantic Rogers again…” The threat went on finished, Steve shooting Phillips a faux hurt look.

“I’m not that franatic,” he grumbled around his sandwich. “Says the man that fainted at the 084 last year.”

“Not all of us have secret government serum running through their veins and I did not faint. The frequency of Stark’s damn machine about knocked everyone out with that damn vibrating.” Phillips sounded bitter, rolling his eyes when Steve smirked around his bite of food.

Peggy for one rolled her eyes at the both of them. “Boys. Is there a point to this visit? I’m very busy and need to leave at four today to meet Thompson at the airport.” There it was. Steve’s slight shift of the container in his lap. Phillips was looking right at her.

“No, we need to discuss something. I’ve talked it over with your husband beforehand, only to see if you’d even consider the offer before I made it.” Meaning, he’s been talking to Steve behind her back and didn’t want to catch her on a bad day. “Being Director of Shield over both New Jersey and DC has taken a drain on what I can physically do and cannot do. I can’t be everywhere at once and there are too many damn phone calls and emails to reply to. I want you to Co-Direct with me. You’ll take the branch in New Jersey. I’m sure Rogers would kill me if I tried to uproot him from Brooklyn.”

“Sure, blame it on me. I told you, I don’t mind moving and neither does Peggy. We’ve talked about it beforehand.”

They both looked at Peggy who’d been silent this entire time, the plastic fork twirling between her fingertips. When she was nervous, her fingers started to rub over the edge of her belly. A flinch happening thanks to a strong kick to her hand. Damn child. Make that grounded until they were twenty-three.

They were silent for a long beat, Steve could see the gears turning over in his wife’s head. Considering the pros, the cons, the situations. Phillips had broken the silence and started to list the benefits and what her job would acquire. No longer in the field, behind the desk, working with the other agents. Doing the job she did now but with a pay upgrade, benefits, and full control. Not that Phillips ever bothered to stop her beforehand.

“Be honest,” Peggy mused, finally sitting back with a smirk on her lips. “Was this offered to me because you two and I guess Howard too want me out of the field?”

Steve can never lie. She reads right through him and his ears turning a shade of red told her all she needed to know.

“I accept, on the condition that you two…all of you stop talking behind my back about me. I’m pregnant, not stupid,” she countered, with a hard look at Steve.

What can she say? She knew he did it out of love for her, worry for their safety, their future. She couldn’t blame him.

Phillips just looked too damned please as he shook her hand and they promised to go over key details after she’s rested. Peggy was already dialing Sousa’s number, having him go to Thompson to the airport to pick up Pinky.

“So,” Peggy mused around her forkful of food. “Have you thought of any names?”