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the-kipsabian · 10 months ago

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He doesn't really need a tag partner (I'm sure there are people he trusts enough to team with) but if Chuck is out forever can we have Kip step in and be a person for OC to lean on? I mean we could get him on TV possibly weekly (win win in my book) plus maybe we can get OC corrupted and boom it helps push the storyline with Trent? IF Chuck is able to come back, maybe he uncorrupts him? Thoughts?

SO. im sorry ahead of time that this will get longwinded and probably not gonna make a lot of sense but i have A LOT of thoughts regarding this whole situation

so this has been a very common thing to discuss in my dms ever since the shades of the best friends betrayal started when trent and oc entered into the tag team tournament (also shoutout to bugs for dealing with my shit constantly cause i know i can be unhinged ough), and what we dubbed as savior!kip has become a very intense hope in this storyline so... yeah ive been thinking about this possibility a lot ngl

im gonna put the rest of this under the cut cause lmao yeah. im gonna go off the rails

i wanna start this by saying that while i do want chuck to come back, im specifically hoping that he'll come back to team with trent again and to torment oc, that all of this has been one big ruse to see if oc really is their best friend or not (spoilers: hes not. trent is right about everything he said dont @ me). and oc is slowly starting to lack friends; seeing how things are going, things with kris arent that great. shibata and hook have their hands full with so many other things. rocky is obviously siding with trent, even if he doesnt say it directly out loud but roppongi vice forever basically, and the rest of chaos is mostly in japan (and okada is evil now so...). danhausen basically doesnt exist anymore. everyone oc has had around him has slowly disappeared, for one reason or another

so where does that leave us, exactly? you turn to the other side (or more in this case, the other side turns towards you to help out)

kip has been critical on twitter about the don callis family, and basically saying he would never join them due to disrespect from don. and we all know how much kip loves and cares about oc (i dont have to proof this to you you have seen all the sweet tweets and other stuff. this man used to use the kissy face emoji frequently while tweeting at or about oc come on now), so seeing these two words colliding would probably not sit very well with him, i'd imagine. while someone could argue that kip has lost interest in oc since he has dropped the title and thats all that was ever about...

first of all, the "sweet little clementine" nickname has been used multiple times throughout the timeline. this wasnt just a mind game trick to get into ocs head during the title feud, it was in there way way before that ever happened (i believe we are talking about full gear 2020 if i recall my timelines right [its around 3 hours and 9 minutes]); he has always been affectionate about oc in a really weird way (hes british tho so thats probably why). second, how many times has kip been after anyone else between ocs title reigns and after? exactly zero. when mox and fenix were champs, he didnt say a peep (he did, whoever, put out my favorite tweet of all time when oc lost the title to mox). after oc gained the title, he started tweeting again about it. and again when oc lost it, not a word. kip hasnt said anything about the international title or rodney since then; the only time he did post, he told rodney to fuck off cause clementine was his. and since then? kip has been keeping an eye on the best friends feud so... do whatever you wish with that information (1, 2, 3)

the point is, the obsession was NOT with the title; hes just always been affectionate about and towards oc, but in a really weird and obsessive, kind of a destructive way

why is this necessary to bring up? well...

do you really think he would stand idly to the side to watch oc align himself with someone like don callis when all his other friends have abandoned him, all these things considered?

do i need to remind you of something? cause i will remind you of my favorite post

throughout this entire time, kip never gave up (im aware this is technically non-canon as this is a quote from stream but. if you know their history over on twitch, it counts. the feud bled over there during its prime too). yes this technically had everything to do with him tearing ocs friends away from him when this was posted, but.. dont you think its fitting tho? considering the situation oc is in now? and while yes it might seem that kip is taking the side of trent in this whole thing, this was specifically before don callis inserted himself into the situation by whispering whatever the hell into ocs ear

and what better time and way for kip to insert himself back into ocs life as the one person he can still rely on than right here and right now, when oc is so desperate for a connection and friendship that he'll take don callis of all people?

if we want to dig more into my personal observations, kip has never felt as respected or perceived as he did/does when hes across the ring from oc. this feud was the highlight of his career since the comeback (and arguably, his [and miros] feud with the best friends ending with arcade anarchy was the other, so these two have always been connected more or less), its the one thing people keep talking about in reference to him apart from the box; how he should have been the one taking the title from him, how kip should have been elevated from that point forward too. how people talk about him almost only when he has faced oc in the ring afterwards (which has been at least three times if i recall right from the top of my head) or had a chance to challenge again for that title before oc lost it entirely

so what is the conclusion i wanna draw from this? kip keeps bringing him up. he keeps on leeching on him. he wants that attention off of oc, but also from oc. and what better way to do that than to now befriend him, show him support, be there for him when everyone else has abandoned him?

except its not entirely malicious. it might start as such, but its definitely mutually beneficial, more so than intended; sure maybe kip takes the chance to get to oc when hes down and vulnerable, but theres also that high chance that he'll see he can actually help. kip can help pull oc back up and help rebuild him. kip can be useful and important in this equation too, not just oc (which.. its gonna show kips true colors tbh. considering how kip treats oc as a whole, but he was taking trents side earlier about everything when best friends broke apart so...)

i think this is enough of me rambling, so im gonna get to the point of the ask lmao; but yeah, while i'd love for chuck to come back, i dont think he needs to be the one to uncorrupt oc from under kips spell. cause there wont be a spell to begin with. while yes it might start more or less as a corrupting relationship if they got to tag together with oc, i dont think ultimately it would be harmful to him. just like kip would be there to be supportive of oc, eventually he would return the favor by helping kip flourish, like he has done more indirectly in the past. they are mutually beneficial to one another, for better or worse maybe, but its not going to lead oc down a dark path in my opinion. if anything, oc is uncorruptable at this point (especially without the belt but i feel like that story has completely died by now with roddy holding the title so im not going to touch that rn), and him getting love and support from someone genuine, although surprising in this case, it would just make him more likely to return that favor than to turn against it. what i mean is, oc would be the one to uncorrupt kip, if anything

thank you for coming to my tedtalk and im soooooo sorry for all of this

#princessxpunk #again im sorry this is SO LONG but i have so many thoughts and feelings and shit to say #and you did ask so....#oops. lmao #box thoughts #wrestling musing #you know what fuck it im tagging it im proud of this lmao #orange cassidy #kip sabian #my beloved #sweet little clementine #kip in a box #orangekip #wrestling #birdhouse ✉

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definitelynotshouting · 1 year ago

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got tagged by my beloved @sillyfairygarden for the "list 5 songs you have on repeat" ask game :]

Forever by Noah Kahan which has been playing on loop in my brain for the past four days straight while i worked on my latest fic, which pulls some of the lyrics for its title!! Admittedly this song isn't my favorite by him, im more of a Paul Revere girlie, but i utterly adore the chorus and it massages my brain each time i hear it :]

Spectator by Friday Pilots Club which has like. THE dirtiest bass line ive heard in a while and also includes one of my magical earworm chord transitions in the chorus. Like holy shit. My brain is melting in the BEST of ways and ive been looping it whenever i want to feel action-y without actually thinking

On a much lighter musical note ive been listening a lot to Arboretum by Sparkbird since it first came out like two weeks ago, which like, shout out to the anon who introduced me to him im so hooked now. Im utterly obsessed with the different tempos and times meshed together in this song so seamlessly, and the lyrics are like POETRY (this song has also made it to my scarian playlist LOL the lyrics are so top tier for them imo)

. dont look at me but this is my number one song to loop when i need to get shit done and want an insanely catchy tune to do it with anyway go listen to Vending Machine of Love by The Stupendium i promise you it is so so funny and so so worth it (and full of INSANE wordplay too) (also it IS suggestive so keep that in mind if u go to listen)

This list would not be complete by me without a City and Colour song so i offer up The Love Still Held Me Near, which is SO GORGEOUS and constantly makes me think of lighthouses and fog and crashing seas.... this is my go-to loop for his songs rn its so full of life and energy while still feeling melancholy in a gorgeously aching way im OBSESSED OKAY GO LISTEN YOU WANNA LISTEN TO THIS SOOOO BAD GO GO GO ‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥

Okay i am tagginggggg.... @squish--squash @corvidaearts @cocoabats @emberglowfox @raichett :]

#shouting speaks #ask games #kinda???#dkdjsjdndnd #anyway i could have put so much more but thats what im looping atm >:] it changes p frequently #i get songs stuck in my head REALLY easily so i end up having to loop them a lot to get it out of my system DKNDKSNDND #drop me an ask if you listen to any of these songs and enjoyed them :D #txt

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meat-pvppet · 1 month ago

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only now remembered my evil husband ( @spaydekingcayde ) tagged me in one of these so uhhh blows up

anyone else is free to do this ig

What is the origin of your blog title?

hrm,,,the batter off,,,,

Favorite fandoms?

i dont particularly have a "favorite" fandom cuz i dont interact with most of the fandoms i end up being a part of out of anxiety, social or otherwise

idk all fandoms seemingly feel shit cuz of how bad the bad parts get

if this were favorite media rn then thatd be OFF, coral island, destiny and like

a bunch of other shit that i cant think of rn

OTP(s) + ship name?

idfk brah most ships i have are my oc/canon ones which i could mention but id rather talk about them when i have drawings on them

ekko and jinx from arcane is a cool one ig and timebomb is such a baller name

Favourite color?

yeller

Favourite game?

coral island, fear and hunger and destiny but OFF still has the most specialest place in my heart

Song stuck in your head?

COCOA HOOVES BY GLASS ANIMALS AND ALSO INTERDIMENSIONAL BY COSMO SHELDRAKE AND ALSO APHRODITE, YOUR ELECTRIC SEXINESS BY HUMAN ZOO

Weirdest habit or trait?

idk i have alot of vocal stims and if im stressed i need to gnaw on someone or something

Hobbies

i draw i guess

and im working on some crochet projects but tbh with one of them im probably gonna learn how to knit and redo it entirely cuz holy fuck id need so much fucking yarn!!!!

If you work, what is your profession?

i'm still studying but i need to find a part-time job soon

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

animator

or some kind of art director or character designer

game deving

shit like that

Something you’re good at?

art

Something you’re bad at?

art

Something you excel at?

bitching about art and coming up with horrible situations for my ocs and making them miserable forever

Something you love?

my husbant,,,and my friends!!!!! and also art ig

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff?

my ocs

Something you hate?

man idek anymore everythings a fuck

Something you collect?

dust

ok but in all seriousness i dont really collect alot of things at the moment cuz i live in an apartment in one of the biggest cities and im currently in college so there isnt alot for me to get my hands on

Something you forget?

everything

What’s your love language?

physical touch, infodumping, generally showing people things

Favourite movie/show?

idk actually

the boy 2016 comes to mind ig

and v for vendetta

for shows uhhh

the legend of vox machina

Favourite food?

hrm,,,longanisa,,,

but also fries ig

Favorite animal?

rats,,,ive been meaning to start keeping rats in the apartment but im very hesitant to now as of late due to worries that i wont be able to provide for them properly

Are you musical?

wish i could actually write my own music, but yeah ig so stares at my electric guitar and bass that i havent touched in a while cuz ive been busy

and also smth smth the filipino stereotype of being able to sing (debatable)

What were you like as a child?

apparently i was more social as a kid

Favorite subject in school?

since im still in school technically ill just base it on that

but anyway uhhh

general education art appreciation is cool i like it

Least favourite subject?

chemistry.

What’s your best character trait?

bitches love my autism swag

What’s your worst character trait?

this is getting real personal but hi when im not feeling well mentally it takes a really long time to recover

and also i tend to misunderstand shit in the worst way possible and make myself even more upset over smth someone didnt even say

If you could change any outcome of your day what would it be?

idk as long as im not exploding in my head then its a win for the day

If you could travel in time who would you meet?

precolonial filipinos

i wanna meet them so bad i wanna know what we were like before the spanish happened

i want to know my ancestors

Recommend one of your favourite fics!

THIS SHIT GOES SO HARD

THIS TOO

and anything cayde writes cuz it makes me wanna rip my skin off <3

#.txt

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acaciapines · 11 months ago

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hey! for the fic ask game: 3, 5 (for the wolf 359 daemon au), 8, 38 and 42?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

somebody being a least a little bit nonhuman <3 but more broadly i really like writing about human/animal dynamics, both in the nonhuman sense obviously, but also even in my daemon aus--what do humans say about animals? how much is true and how much is just something humans have put onto the animal, rather than what the animal is?

i also think i write a lot about grief, and the ways grief and trauma both can manifest in ways seen as 'unpalatable.' how youre supposed to survive these sorts of things, and how a lot of times the answer is that maybe things dont get better, but they do get different. ie i have a lot of bittersweet endings and i dont think that'll ever change.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

oooh ive always hoped somebody would ask what the hell doug-nix and miranda-alphaeus would get up to after the epilogues, 'cause this never got in there (i dont think at least), but i've always had it in mind that they move out eventually! get a place of their own, which would leave minkowski, hera, jacobi, and sometimes lovelace whenever she stops by living together.

i just feel like. miranda and doug are outsiders to that crew, yeah? neither of them remember the people they once were, so. might as well try making something new and better together.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

this one is particularly topical 'cause a song is actually the inspiration for the current fic i'm writing! grand canyon by the wind and the wave. literally such a frisk and chara song, ALSO a really good roadtrip song, so ive meshed those together and now im working on a post-pacifist chara&frisk centric roadtrip fic! coming out....idk. may probably.

i also think twelve feet deep by the front bottoms could make a real fun onesided dessriel fic. something about 'i get left out of every plan they make / that is what i have to do / to be the only kid from highschool who is still in love with you' REALLY gets to me.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

i think the one that surprised me the most was garden of earthly delights, which was my madoka magica daemon au. seeing as its been Forever since anything madoka has come out (plus daemon aus are Not popular anymore lol), i didnt know there was still an active fandom there, but there WAS, and all my commenters were amazing and lovely and it was so fun seeing everyone trying to uncover the mystery in real time!!! if i had to guess WHY it got popular, i think i'd guess it was the aspect of mystery...something to keep people coming back and commenting!

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

the comments that always stick with me the most are the people who come to tell me that it was my fics (usually either i know im not well or alterhuman) that either helped them feel SEEN as otherkin/therian, or helped them discover that this was a thing they even could be. i think thats been one of the most rewarding things about sharing those stories. theres not a whole lot out there in the ao3 otherkin tag, yknow? and it makes me so happy to know i've been able to help people.

#ask #thanks for asking! these are fun

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yearningandpatheticaboutit · 2 years ago

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CHAPTER 14: I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE

wc: 6054

tags: violence, attempted s/a, smut, angst, drugs

a/n: this chapter might be triggering for some people, read at your own risk.

prev chapter

yaera

i havent been to one of these events since i was fifteen. that doesnt sound like a long time, but considering my sister was still alive then, it certainly felt like forever had passed.

the dress i was given is pretty at least. its black, has long sleeves and looks like it was designed for a sexy vampire. one good thing came out of this shitfest.

but the best part is, i can hide san's drugs within my outfit. im not stashing them in matching black purse because it'll get searched, but the tiny ziplock bags fit perfectly in my sleeves and boob area. this will truly be the riskiest thing ive ever done.

irina and the others even messaged me not to forget the stuff. im so focused on just getting that money the fear i had buried inside me hasnt completely resurfaced yet.

im staring at myself in the mirror, looking at my smokey eye make up. the black hair dye really gave me a morbid yet sexy aesthetic that im not bad about. if i could describe myself in two words, it would be exactly that, morbid and sexy.

the sexy part is what bothers me. i know there are people who would agree all too willingly with that. and its not my target audience.

my room door swings open and my mother walks in. theres a strange look on her face as she takes me in. we say nothing to each other for a few moments till she breaks the silence.

"bellisima," she says, almost under her breath. "we can really never go wrong with santo. he made you look like a princess, even if you look like you are going to a funeral."

my insides squirm at the mention of his name. i tried to ignore it, but the fear i felt in that bathroom is coming back full swing. im seeing him tonight. he'll be waiting for me.

"please don't do this again this year," i stiffly begged. "you need to find someone your own age Santo. I'm...I'm not the one."

santo cocks his head to the side and smirks. "and who told you that? who said you're not perfect for me?"

"i don't fucking want you," I hissed. his eyes widen slightly, more out of sick arousal instead of offense.

he advanced on me and i blinked, finding myself pressed against a stall. i whimpered and tried to wriggle out of his grip, but my arms were pinned to the side. oh my God, I'm going to be sick.

"but I want you, and you know that. so why don't you stop playing games," he whispered dangerously close to my ear. i shivered and my nausea kept tugging at my stomach.

"i'm your only chance at a respectable man. your parents already love me. so why don't you accept the love I have for you? you'll never find anyone like me, tesoro."

"i fucking hope so," i whispered, pinching my eyes closed. he moved his face infront of mine, hovering his lips over mine. I whined and wriggle, but he isn't fazed by my struggling.

"you're a big girl now, right?" he said lowly. "i think it's time you feel like a woman."

i snap out of that awful memory when my mother clicks her fingers infront of my face. "come on, hurry up! we are only waiting on you!"

i cant leave san's side tonight. no matter what.

when i get downstairs, my nearly feel the breath getting knocked out of me. he's standing there, looking more handsome than i've ever seen him. black hair slicked back, eyebrows done. the suit is sitting perfectly. its like he's the model here and not me. god i think im going to be sick.

he gives me a small smile but says nothing.

"doesn't she look perfect, amore mio?" my mother says to my father, who only gives an awkward smile of acknowledgement.

"the two of you can sit at the back of the limo. your mother and i will take the two front seats," my father says, then turns to san with a pointed finger. "dont get any ideas, boy. i know your headmaster personally."

san awkwardly laughs. "i would never, sir."

i try not to wonder how true that is. we pile into the limo and my parents keep looking at us through the rearview, making sure there's a significant gap between us. i look over to him and all the anger i felt before is just gone. i think im fucking whipped.

hes the most beautiful man ive ever seen.

"san..."

"you look really pretty," he tells me before i can say anything. saying that with the most expressionless face makes my face drop.

"oh-"

"i just wanted to say that. you really do."

i dont know what to say. the limo is dim so i dont know if he can see how flushed i feel. he leans forward and i think hes about to kiss me. i hope for it. i dont even care if my parents are nearby.

"where are you hiding the stuff?" he whispers. oh right, his drugs.

i show him my sleeves, how the pills are pressed finely between the folds. then i point to my bust. "others are in here," i say.

he chuckles lowly. "creative. you can give me some if you need more space."

if san gets caught with this my parents would end him. everything he worked to achieve would be gone in less than 2 days.

"i think i should keep it. just in case anything happens. you know, rich girl immunity."

san nods and leans back away from me, making me feel empty. "of course."

no words are exchanged between us for a few moments. so we're really going to pretend like the party didnt happen? did that mean it was never going to happen ever again. i dont want to sound desperate but my head is screeching for answers.

but i focus on what matters tonight. putting on a show. getting irina and the others their drugs and collecting payment. and most of all, escaping santo.

"san, can you do me a favour?" i ask.

he hesitates but nods anyway.

"dont leave my side tonight. please."

he rubs the back of his head nervously. "well, i am your date. and i dont know anyone else here."

god. he doesnt realize how bad i need him.thats the thing, i need him more than he needs me. i can never delete what i have on him. i never know when this will go sideways.

the party is at some hotel. when we get there, i can tell the reception is intimidating to san. the cameras, the flashing lights. the security. i grab his hand and he doesnt protest as we go inside. both of us get patted down by security guards, of course the drugs go undetected.

we go inside and the dinner set up is fancy as fuck. i look at san and i cant tell if hes forcing the coolness to not have a panic attack, but his face is blank. i spot irina and the others at a table and wave, my mother dragging us to a separate table with our name on it.

theres a stage with a massive projection screen, where a slideshow of the lingerie collection plays. i know at some point the pictures from the shoot will play out as well. im hoping to sneak off before then because i cant handle the embarrassment.

"so this is your life huh," san mutters next to me. i frown, his tone sounds disappointed.

"whats wrong?" i ask.

"nothing. just...i cant believe it sometimes."

hes been acting so weird. is he insecure? fuck i.dont even know where to start placing questions. my stomach sinks a little at his tone. i guess he'll never get it. he doesnt understand what im really running from. i doubt he ever will. that class disconnect will keep beating our ass.

to him, anything is better than being in a gang. i guess hes right. but that doesnt mean there arent things out there that would make you want to kill yourself. i would know.

santo walks out on the stage and everyone starts clapping like this is the oscars. "good evening everyone, buenos noches, buonasera, and everything else! welcome to the launch of the new Cosa Pericolosa brand. a brand distinct for its dangerous yet delicate beauty, made of the finest Italian lace and silk. i want to thank everyone for coming to celebrate and enjoy this milestone. there will be dancing and there will be a party, saluto!"

as soon as he gets off that stage, i see his face find my parents table. hes coming straight for us. i instantly grab san's hand under the table. he turns to me utterly confused, but i cant deal with that right now.

"mi famiglia!" santo loudly says and kisses my parents on the cheek. he gets to me and does the same, his kiss lingering on me longer than i wanted. i suppress a shiver. "tesoro, you look beautiful in the dress i picked! im so glad to see everyone here!"

"we could not have done it without you, santo!" my mother gushes. "you look so handsome!"

"ah, you are making me shy. it is really you people who are stealing the show, wait till you see how the pictures turned out!" he laughs obnoxiously, turning to smile at me.

"im so glad you are here, tesoro. it is good to finally have you back. your sister would be proud of you."

"thank you, santo." i force a smile. when really i want to scream. dont fucking bring her up, i want to scream it. but i force a stupid, docile smile. fuck if this night goes on for any longer, i might end up doing these drugs myself.

"hold on, who is this," santo finally acknowledges san. he holds out his hand to him. "i am santo falcone. but you can call me santo, you are?"

"that is yaera's date," my mother chimes in as san awkwardly takes his hand. "san choi. he is a classmate."

"oh," santo's smile tightens and he glances at me. "just a classmate?"

my father forces a laugh. "of course. do you know me? she can meet someone when it is time to get married."

santo grips san's hand for an uncomfortable amount of time till he ends up needing to rip it away. "nice to meet you, san choi. excuse me, i will return to you all. i have to greet the other guests and then have them run the music. you all enjoy the night."

he leaves, giving me a weird look before going. is he fucking jealous? does he seriously think he owns me? i dont know how my sister worked with him. hes so fucking creepy and somehow that never came up between us.

irina and the others arrive at our table next, greeting my parents with hugs and kisses. "can we steal yaera for a second? she looks so gorgeous!" claire says, gushing.

"no really, i want to rip that dress off you!" anya says. my mother rolls her eyes and laughs.

"please girls, bring her back in one piece for the show." my mother says. a smirk i know to be devious grows on irina's lips.

"oh we will, dont worry, mrs marino."

im so happy to get up from that table. san grabs my dress and looks up like a lost kid. "where are you going? dont leave me by myself here," he says under his breath.

awww hes so awkward. "ill be right back. dont miss me too much."

his eyes are desperate and his smile is so forced its hilarious. "youre really going to leave me with your parents?"

"dont worry she'll be back!" anya tells him, noticing him holding my dress. "your boyfriend is so clingy, yaera."

i can tell san is trying not to murder her with his glare. not more can be said because im whisked away. we end up in the bathrooms that look like something out of the louvre. anya and claire start taking mirror selfies while irina starts putting the money down on the sink.

"all of it is here, you can count it yourself. now where are the stuff?" she says. i start unrolling my sleeves, taking four of the bags out, getting the other five from my boobs.

anya and claire quickly come scrambling. "oh god, finally!" claire says. "we've been waiting so long."

"is it really that good?" i wonder, their relief is crazy to see. "better than what you already do?"

"alone its okay. but together with what we already do? a fucking trip to the skies," irina shakes her head with a smile. "ive never been so glad to know you, marino."

mixing drugs. that doesnt sound smart. but what do i know? im not the addict.

i smile and take the money, folding it back into my boobs. "youre welcome. and you know if you need more, where to call me."

"of course. and you better answer."

"your boyfriend is so fucking hot yaera," anya says with a sigh. "hes literally gorgeous. where did you find him?"

"careful, you cougar. you cant be talking about an 18 year old like that," i joke.

"im not even twenty three shut the fuck up!" she shoves at my shoulder.

"so he is your boyfriend?" claire smiles. the three of them coo like children when i start blushing.

"im getting there guys," i say. "hopefully soon."

"what do his parents do? he looks like a model himself." claire says.

"you know this is yaera, hes probably crazy as fuck. like the last one, what was his name?" irina chimes in with a snort. "i bet this one is the reason she has drugs in the first place."

i scowl at her. shes right but i hate that she read me so easily. "bitch, just enjoy my services. goddamn it you people are nosy."

she raises an eyebrow. "am i right though?"

i roll my eyes and start to leave, saluting on my way out. "im getting back now to my date now, goodbye ladies."

luckily when i get out, theres music playing and people are on the floor. san is sitting alone by the table, taking random sips out of a champagne glass. im so excited. i actually got money back for us. i throw my hands onto his shoulders and smile widely, unable to hold my excitement.

"so guess who collected their first payment?"

san's eyes widen. "all the money there?"

"every last note. so i think to celebrate we should dance."

san frowns and cringes. "i dont dance. im fine here."

i roll my eyes and grab his hand, pulling him up with a hard tug. "is it a sin for you to do ANYTHING fun? the music is playing and we have something to celebrate, come on."

he sighs and gives in with a lame smile. "fine."

i lead him to the dancefloor, swinging my arms around his neck. san's hands drop to my lowerback as we sway and i cant ignore the happiness bubbling in my brain. i cant stop smiling.

"you seem really happy," he notes. "you're getting a big head from your first payment huh?"

"of course. its just what i needed to prove myself to you. that i can pull my weight and that im not just some liability."

"i never said that-"

"yes you did san. many times." i remind him, and his cheeks flush from.embarrassment. "i can even quote you on it if you want?"

"please dont," he chuckles under his breath. "fine, i guess you can pull your weight."

his dimples are piercing through. i stare at him mesmerized and i cant even hide it. i bet if i was a cartoon in this very moment, i'd be having stars in my eyes.

"you're perfect, you know that?" i say without thinking.

san's eyes widen, then darken in seconds. "what?" his voice is just barely together.

"i want to kiss you again," i admit. "i think its all i'll want for a really long time."

i lightly stroke his cheeks, seeing them go rosey. this is all i have. the only thing that shows me that i do affect him.

his eyes dart down to my lips and i shrink the distance between us, till we're just barely a centimeter apart.

"i dont want you to think about it," i tell him. "just do whatever you want in the moment. thats all that matters."

"yaera..." he gulps, then takes a step back. "i-i dont know about this. lets just...this isnt good. for either of us."

"says who?" i scoff.

"says me. you and i should just stay business partners. strictly business. anything else wont end well for either of us."

hearing that makes my heart shatter and my stomach drop. fuck i can feel my eyes filling with water. i try to choke.it down but i know its obvious.

"so you're just gonna.pretend we never kissed at that party?" i lay down my arms from his neck. "youre just going to pretend that never happened?"

san stops dancing and gives me a curt nod. "i think its best we do. we both know i just represent something to you. something forbidden. thats why you want me right? because im someone you cant have."

i laugh bitterly. "i cant fucking believe you."

i feel a tear drop. san sees it and frowns. "yaera wait-"

i swat his hands away from me. "you are such a fucking dick."

i get off the dancefloor and run somewhere. i dont know where. im just walking, looking for a place to break down and sob. god this is so embarrassing. im so fucking pathetic.

i stop infront of a random room and twist the door handle. its unlocked, thank god. i go inside and fall onto the bed, my chest instantly getting wrecked. i start sobbing horrifically, unable to believe how awful i feel right now.

whats wrong with me. what is legitimately wrong with me. why was he so cold? am i not pretty enough for him or something? this cant just be about the business. i refuse to believe it. and even if it is, why do i feel so worthless?

everytime jongho has rejected me and made me feel like nothing but a stupid slut flashes infront of me. the feeling stabs me like a knife.

that must be it. thats probably what he sees me as. a stupid, desperate evil slut. all i do is throw myself at him. even at that party, i couldnt wait to be all over him. im pathetic. and desperate. i should just die.

my gloves are soaked. i cant believe how much im crying. maybe i should go back to therapy. maybe i wasnt coping as well as i thought i was.

i look up into the mirror stand, seeing my make up absolutely ruined. my entire face is red, and my hair is sticking to my soaked cheeks. i look like shit.

suddenly i remember why i stayed away from men in the first place. because im too fucking sensitive. my mood depends on them. my self worth is a reflection of how much they like me. they control whether i feel emotional highs and emotional lows.

i start laughing at myself. i cant believe i got myself into this kind of fuckery again.

the door opens suddenly, making me jolt. santo comes in and closes the door behind him, smiling tightly. i jerk up and start stumbling back, backing myself into a wall to be far away from him.

"what are you doing here?" i ask, my voice shaking.

"i saw you dancing with that...child," he slowly laughs, his tone sounding bitter. "you have no business being with someone like him, tesoro."

"santo-"

"do you know how fucking sick i felt?" he snaps, stalking like a dangerous animal. "seeing you with him? while you wear the dress i picked out for you?"

being alone was a mistake. i try to dart for the door but he grabs me and picks me up, covering my mouth with his hand. he throws me onto the bed, forcing his bodyweight on top of me. im frozen, i cant move. every karate class ive taken, all my knowledge on hurting someone just vanishes. hes on top of me and i cant move.

im sobbing again. he presses his finger to my lip, hushing me.

"i should be the only one who takes this dress off you tonight," he whispers. he starts lowering the top, leaving the top of my chest exposed. "dont cry, tesoro, you'll feel so much better after. ive been waiting for this for so long..."

"no please, santo," i beg through my tears. "please just leave me alone. please just-"

theres a few knocks on the door. "yaera, is that you? can i come in?"

that's san's voice. santo clamps his palm over my lips again and i scream.through them. its muffled. i start struggling and kicking but he wont get off me. he forces his hand harder. "fucking stop," he growls at me.

the door swings open anyway. san barges in and santo quickly jumps off me, suddenly on the other side of the room. san looks between us, frozen in his feet.

"what, did anyone say you could fucking come in?" santo screams. san stays staring between us, his face absolutely blank. santo scoffs and adjusts his suit jacket before storming out and slamming the door.

i sit up on the bed, looking at san through blurry eyes. i cant even find my voice. i cant even deal with what just happened.

"did he try..." san trails off, shaking his head at me. he rushes to sit down next to me. i cant help it, as soon as he wraps his arms around me i start bawling again.

"i cant fucking breathe. san please i just want to get away from here. please can we just leave."

he softly rubs the side of my head as he holds my face in his chest. "lets go. we'll go away from here. far away from.here. anywhere."

***

san

i dont even know where to start.

yaera and i ordered an uber from the hotel, disappearing with the permission of her father, saying she felt sick and she needed to go home. they werent happy but yaera's distraught face convinced them. they have no idea what the fuck happened tonight. they were sitting with that same guy that night.

hell, i dont even know what happened. but i could put two and two together.

yaera and i havent said a word to each other. shes passed out on my chest all the way to my apartment. i have to carry her on the way in. i have to put her down on her feet when its time to go into my apartment, and she hangs on my arm the entire time.

"you sure you fine with this?" i ask her. she nods wordlessly.

i let her inside, and she makes her way to my bed where she falls hopelessly. i go and sit down beside her, not knowing what to say. i dont know any words that can fix what happened tonight.

i know so much about her, but tonight...it made me realize i know nothing.

"this isnt the first time it happened," she says, her voice low and defeated. "the first time he did it...i was fifteen. he touched the inside of my thigh in a dressing room and kept trying it till i never went back. i never told my parents...or my sister."

i dont say anything. i let her speak.

"he told me he would never let me go. that he was in love with me. he tried so many times. at my own house. and everytime i would end up in the hospital...my parents would blame me. they would say that i was acting out. i didnt know how to tell them. they treated santo better me and my sister. hes a saint to them."

i feel my head heating up. a rich prick predator piece of shit. he deserves to disappear. he deserves to fucking rot.

i bet miss A could make a bastard like him disappear really quickly.

i take her hand and gently rub my thumb over her knuckles. i feel terrible. the only reason he was able to follow her was because of me.

"so thats why you asked me to not leave your side," i realized. "so you wouldnt be alone with him."

"he gets jealous of every man who comes near me," yaera's tears leak onto my pillow. "i thought if he saw you...he would really leave me alone this time. but it just...it made him more aggressive. he tried to..."

i pull her up and bring her into another hug, gripping her tightly. it felt like if i let her go that i'd never hold her again. that feeling terrifies me. i hate it so much.

"i'll never let him hurt you again," i swear. "i'll fucking kill him. just say the word and i will."

"i want him off my skin, san," she tells me pleadingly. "i dont want to feel him ever again. i want to scratch my skin off and be clean. i want to feel clean again."

"you arent dirty, yaera. hes the fucking filthy one for putting his hands on you," i hold her face in my hands. shes delicate, like porcelain. her eyes, that are usually so menacing and careless are filled with sadness. "youre perfect. you dont deserve that, dont for a second blame yourself. you're perfect, do you hear me?"

"if im so perfect then why dont you want me?" she whimpers. my blood runs cold. fuck how can she hit me with such a heavy loaded question.

theres no point in lying anymore. this is the last situation where i can lie.

"im scared," i admit. "im scared of you. and this. and everything. ive never had something like this, ive never had someone this close to me. i dont know how to handle it. ive been alone for so long i dont know how to let anyone be near me. i never let myself have anything. i always let go."

"please let me be there," she whispers in a tone i cant refuse. "please dont let me go. let yourself have this. let yourself have me."

my chest hurts. this night isnt going at all how i thought it would. its too much. i dont know what to say to yaera. i find my eyes feeling heavy. she takes my face in her hands again and i know she wants to kiss me. fuck it, this is the worst time. but at this point, there isnt ever a right time.

i go in for it and kiss her first. her lips are soft and velvety, and she melts against mine instantly. we start to lose our softness, with yaera pulling me closer and closer. its like she wants to take all the oxygen out of me. her kiss is hard, like a cry for help, like im all the air she'll ever need.

she breaks the kiss and drags her lips down my neck, making me shudder. yaera makes her way onto my lap and i dont fight it, her legs wrapping around me tightly as her dress rides up her thighs.

the kisses turn hot and i feel my brain losing sense. this wont end here, i know it. i want to stop it. i drag my willpower from the floor to break our kiss and she stares at me, frowning with swollen lips.

"is this really a good time?" i ask seriously. "you're really emotionally vulnerable right now. after what happened tonight, do you really think-"

"san," she interrupts me, pressing another kiss to my lips. "my life has been one big emotional fucked up moment, i want to forget. i want to have this, im so fucking dead inside. i want to feel alive again."

she stops showering me with warm pecks and looks me dead in the eye. "will you give me that?"

i hold her face again. my chest feels warm thinking about how no one sees her like this. her pain. but she trusts me enough. she lets me see it.

"i'll give you whatever you want tonight. i promise."

those words were all she needed. yaera slides her hands over my chest, pushing the suit jacket off. her hands move fast, flicking open every button till my chest is bare.

she presses her lips to mine again, her fingers tugging at my hair. i moan at the pull, surprising myself and her. she breaks the kiss and smiles down at me.

"i could get used to that sound," she teases. something stirs in me. she's so hot.

i move my hands to the back of her dress, finding the zipper. i dont break eye contact, and her smile only grows as the dress starts falling apart on her.

i slowly drag my lips down her neck, and she lets out a shiver. i fight my smile and continue to leave hot, soft kisses down her shoulder, moving down to her barely hidden cleavage. yaera harshly pulls the dress down, having rolls of money fall out and exposing her chest.

***

yaera

san stares at me after my boobs stare at him. there's a dazed look in his eyes that disappears once he lowers his mouth onto my one boob and grabs a hand full of the other.

i throw my head back, lost in a cloud after feeling his warm mouth. he starts sucking and massaging, rolling circles over my nipple. this is heaven. or something close to it definetely.

i feel my thighs tightening, warmth seeping down from my lower stomach. i try to stifle my moans, my mouth just barely gasping. he looks up at me, pausing on his motion. "you dont have to hold back. i told you i'll give you anything you want tonight," he whispers.

i hold his face with both my hands, feeling like i could cum from just staring into his eyes. "i only want you," i admit direly. i'll take anything he gives me. "but rubbing on you would be nice too."

he leans back, making me yearn. "okay, open wider."

hearing those words just makes me hotter. i get up from his lap and completely remove my dress, both of us just ignoring all the money on the floor. san's eyes hang on my every movement. im in nothing but black lace, and i dont waste time in throwing myself on his lap again, legs parted and ready.

he brings his lips to mine again, both softly and yet completely taking them as his own. his hand slips between my thighs, slowly trailing up like hes carressing fragile ceramics. i shiver as he gets closer to me, his hand finally slipping onto the base of me. he drags his thumb down my clothed folds, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

i try to focus on kissing him, dragging my teeth down to his neck. i lose myself when he starts rubbing me with both fingers, feeling that jolt of warmth coursing through me.

my mouth is parted as my face is buried in his neck, pathetic whimpers pumping out of me. san starts going in circles, right in the perfect spot. i do myself the favour and move the fabric to the side, his warm fingers completely melting inside me as he pumps them in and out.

i know im doomed when i hear myself squelching. his rhythm is perfect, not too slow and not too fast, just enough for me to completely feel him and fade cloudily. i feel my high coming, my thighs starting to tense and my grip on him tightening. i start to kiss him frantically, till san keeps pushing his fingers faster. i feel like a hot coil, going and going till before i know it, im dripping all over his fingers.

i collapse onto his lap and he slowly drags them out, and i hear him prop them into mouth. i look at him with an accomplished smile on my face, shaking my head.

"you sick fuck, did you just taste me?"

san shrugs with a small smile on his face. "yeah, can you blame me?"

i cant contain myself, i kiss him again. i dont even feel close to done. "let me do something for you now?" i say against his lips.

"mmm mmm," san shakes his head, gently gripping my waist. "i just want you to feel good. do you?"

i nod. "i feel better than ever. but really, you dont want anything?"

he lets out a heavy sigh. "i didnt want to tell you this, but you feeling things makes me...feel things."

oh he just became ten times hotter.

i realize it now, while sitting so close to him, i can feel his massive boner poking me through his pants. i smirk to myself, getting an idea.

"oh no, you have that look on your face again," san mutters, moving my hair back. "what are you thinking?"

"readjust your friend. so i can sit on him."

san goes quiet, but i can feel him pulsing underneath me. its sensation is sending me into fucking heat all over again.

"i dont think we should go too far," he says. "dont get me wrong, i want to. i really do. but i dont think you're feeling hundred percent...after everything."

my smirk drops. i dont want to think of him. not right now. not while i have san's hands all over me. but i guess its not a good look if i do just jump his bones after everything that happened.

he holds my face in his hands and squeezes after i say nothing. "and dont think its because you're not pretty or anything. seriously, i dont know why you would even say that."

i shrug. my black and white state of thinking has never really helped me.

san picks up a pillow up and tosses it against the wall. "come on, lets fall asleep. we can talk again in the morning."

"okay," i mutter. i dont know what else to say. i get off him and and crawl into his bed. san follows after, his hot skin completely blanketing me as he puts his arm over my body and draws me against him.

"are you gonna act like nothing happened tomorrow again?" i ask.

silence.

"no. stop worrying."

his curt words dont register in my brain, because he places a warm kiss on my shoulder. it doesnt take me long to completely drift to sleep.

***

wooyoung

wooyoung knows he fucked up. he knows its all fucked up, he just doesnt know when he's going to tell san about it.

miss A is looking at him with cold eyes, he cant even utter a word because of the fear inside him. seonghwa is sprawled out on a broken couch, horrific burns all over him. hes barely alive, but he had it in him enough to tell everyone about what went down at the warehouse.

"changbin is dead, you know this right?" miss A tells him.

"yes, ma'am," he utters pathetically.

"so you know what you and lucky have to do."

he knows he cant stay a bitch in this gang for long. he knows its going to get real. petty stuff is all wooyoung is used to. extortion, scamming people. when he watched yunho die, a fear he thought was so far away just flashed infront of his eyes. he knew he'd come to be on the other end someday.

"you find that man...and you bring me his hand. or else, i'll have yours."

***

A/N: pls this chapter was a mess im sorry and it took forever to write , the next will be better 😭😭😭😭

NEXT CHAPTER

tagslist: @yujispinkhair @brown88 @sansonlygf

#ateez angst #ateez imagines #choi san angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez scenarios #choi san #choi san fluff #san angst #gang au #ateez smut #choi san smut

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whoseafraidofliloleme · 7 months ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Saw this and decided to do it myself... Obviously no one tagged me. As I carry on procrastinating the final chapter of HYGTG, lemme do this 😂 Also gonna change from AO3 to Tumblr 😊.

1. How many works do you have on Tumblr?

I've got 21 works, majority of them are Enhypen smaus and then there's the few one shots/Imagines. And my longest fanfic which is Invisible a Han Seojun fanfic.

2. What's your total Tumblr word count?

So this is just counting Invisible and the one shots Ive written, 41k... Majority of that is Invisible

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Kpop, specifically the group Enhypen. I add Harry Potter into that.

4. Top five fics by Notes?

Invisible at the top with the masterlist having 649 notes... Ngl seeing this makes me want to rewrite Invisible...

Unexpected Partners has 468 notes. Which makes sense, my Jungwon fics tend to be quite popular.

Peace has 365 notes. This was my first Enha & Harry Potter fic. I do love this one.

You Belong With Me has 337 notes. Another Harry Potter AU with a Jungwon redemption arc...

The Second Choice has 307 notes. Another Jay smau but this one is a Office Au with a toxic bestie.

Honestly apart from Invisible and Unexpected Partners being top 1 and 2, I wasn't expecting any of the other ones on this list.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep, I wish I got more comments but I always reply to the comments I do get.

Shout out to @shinkenprincess-oh for always commenting <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am very much against angsty endings. Happy endings all the way.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings so I don't even know which one has the happiest ending...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Havent gotten any yet and I dont want to get hate either please.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope and I never will.

10. Craziest crossover?

I guess constantly mixing Harry Potter with kpop is as crazy as my crossovers get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully no but I'd like for it to not happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but I am open to it if anyone interested.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, that would be interesting to do though.

14. All time favorite ship?

Okay so thats a hard one... I'm gonna go with my top 4.

Harmione {Harry Potter and Hermione Granger}. I am a diehard Harry and Hermione shipper. I just love them so much.

Olicity {Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak}. I was shipping them from the moment Felicity was introduced on the show.

Damianette {Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Damian Wayne}. All my knowledge of DC has come from reading Maribat fics and I do not regret that in the slightest.

Rogan {Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger}. They will forever be my ultimate ship. In my headcanon they ended up together happily ever after.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Its more like whats an idea that I actually want to write... Its a hard one cause I have so many ideas running about in my head that very few of them actually make it to being published...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I guess coming up with backstories for my characters? Making people care even though you are only seeing the story through texts and tweets? Character development and growth?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Haha... Everything?

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think its quite interesting but I would like a translation somewhere so that I at least know whats been said. Unless its important to the plot then its fine.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Technically it was Pixelberry Choices Mobile Games stories(? dunno what else to call them) specifically I wrote for High School Story and High School Story Class Act. I have since deleted those fics from my tumblr and Wattpad, they are still on AO3 but I've orphaned them.

Invisible my True Beauty fic is the one that I count as the first fandom I wrote in.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I legitimately cant pick one, so shameless plug for whoever comes across this to check out my Enhypen Masterlist and True Beauty Masterlist.

Whoever wants to do this, go and have fun cause I have no idea who to tag...

#Zainab rambles #zainab does stuff #questions for writers

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winterchimez · 2 years ago

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tag game! 🎮

tagged by: @zzoguri (thank you my sweetest moni <33)

rules: post snippets from 3 wips and 3 published fics

published fics 📖

beast in the beauty (s1 - old tales, new beginnings)

aaahhh my very first baby that i love dearly and will forever have a special place in my heart 🥹🥹 it is also thanks to you guys that this has now turned into a full-fledged ot11 series 🫶🏻 i will forever love the dynamic between eric & y/n in this, and i def miss writing this season loads (yall istg i cried writing the final few chapters like omg she’s done 😭😭😭) but yes, i love crime and i will def continue to write more of this genre in my future fics 😉

lip sync (ji changmin)

this was written based on their jp track lip sync and lol i wrote this on impulse and didn’t think much of it, until yall reassured that it was good from all the feedback ive gotten abt this 🥹 so yes now its one of the oneshots that i’ll forever be proud off 🤧

criminal (lee juyeon)

by far MY ABSOLUTE FAV oneshot ive ever written, and it is all thanks to my love @cloverdaisies for requesting this 🥹🥹🥹 immediately when you sent in the prompts i knew, i had to deliver a criminal juyeon fic for you and im so so glad this was well-received too 😭🫶🏻 fear not folks, i will eventually write a pt2 for this 👀

now, hohoho moving onto the fun part, my wips ✨

[untitled] (s2 - old tales, new beginnings)

lo and behold, a tiny weeny spoiler for s2 that is dropping real soon 👀 this 2nd season will be based on phantom of the opera so yall do expect more jaw dropping moments (i hope) & more drama bcs it’s gonna be a sangnew series ✨ (yes i have yet to figure of the title just yet but i will in time when its out 😭) tagging my biggest chanhee lover @heemingyu 👀

catch me if you can (lee juyeon)

okay so this was originally written for @cloverdaisies birthday but then irl stuff happened and i got sick so i couldn’t finish it on time 😭😭😭 but i will eventually get this out one day for you my love bcs I FREAKING LOVE THIS FIC. yall this is a yuukoku no moriarty au so if you ever read the manga/watch the anime YOU AND I NEED TO BE FRIENDS RN.

after midnight (sunkyu series)

so this was inspired by the weeknd’s moth to a flame and yes. it’s a nightclub au, it’s pretty suggestive, and it’s otome so you gotta pick if you want sunwoo’s or changmin’s route as the story progresses. it’s been a while since i’ve touched this so im presenting the best/spiciest part i have so far lmao 🤪 tagging @sungbeam for this cs i think ive never shown you this wip of mine 🤡 (or maybe i have ive forgotten)

tagging: @cloverdaisies @cupidjyu @heemingyu @juyeonszn @hongyangi @daisyvisions @hanniluvi @littleroaes

#tag games! 🎮#mutuals! <3 #moni 🦝#❄️ — wips!#❄️ — writes!#the boyz x reader

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odysseys-blood · 11 months ago

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This is literally the first time ever ill do one of these after being tagged in ig bc i always forgot! anyways got tagged by @taketheringtolohac for a "9 people you want to get to know better" game!

Last Song: Sway - A Trak & AJ Christou ft. Duckwrth

i luv duckwrth and this song is super wavy someone come dance to it with me

youtube

Favorite color: Idk what to call it like a wine purple? this thang and similar shades

i also rly like deep reds too. if u ever notice i accidentally tend to use mainly the red-blue portion of the color wheel in art and its not a concious decision either it just kinda happens and i try to steer away from it every once in a while and it never sticks.

Currently Watching: nothing rly!

it takes me forever to start watching things and get through them. The last series i finished I think were Witchblade and Link Click abt a month or so ago. I was also planning to watch yuri kuma sometime soon bc i remembered ppl posting about it but i never watched it while it was airing, as well as a rewatch of banana fish bc my brother brought it up bc he was using it as a topic for his paper recently????? i dont even know why he knows it but oh. well i guess. was also gonna watch mignon but the art style is getting me and my city hunter plans have been dashed by the sheer volume of episodes scaring me for now

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: i like them all!

not sure i rly prefer one over the others but i like to bake so maybe sweet. did you know my baking enemy is cookies idk what it is but if im making my own from scratch somehow they always turn out wrong. fav thing to bake is cinnamon rolls i just havent done any in a while bc they take so long (also bc i wanna do peach cobbler style cinnamon rolls which ive done before! but that takes extra long bc of the extra toppings you have to make)

Relationship Status: who want me

Current Obsession: ok prefacing this with these r not good games and im gonna censor the names so they dont show up in tags

i got into some eroge gacha named wh*t in hell is bad back in october and it has not let up since. i filled an entire sketchbook almost w/ doodles of my mc. also replayed through nu c*rnival recently bc they added voice overs for almost the entire game for the second anniversary (ive been playing since maybe 3 months after its release). everything is on the backburner to me rn besides these games and maybe the everyday maintenance of shinozaki bc im thinking abt finishing it bc i love it. anyways forget abt those last two and look at shinozaki

Last Thing You Searched: list of mythical weapons

this was not for anything important except that i rly wanna get a black cat and name it excalibur (nicknamed cali for short). however excalibur is exclusively for if i get the litte black kitty of my dreams but if i get a cat w/ another coat eventually i have to pick a different name so i was brainstorming.

i didnt think this was so long (///￣￣///)

anyways ill tag @meicheesecake @feluka @beepiiboop @nil-number @theunstablejester @luminousrabbittt @scamoosh @tilapiamafia and im forgetting names but if u wanna do one then tag ur it ☆〜（ゝ。∂ )

#cliffnotes/.txt #tag game #long post

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saihyou · 1 year ago

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i did a top 10 sidem songs tag that i saw going around on twitter~ cant believe we're finally in our tenth anniversary year!!

meet the world

this song is really significant to me for a lot of reasons. as a kaigai P, world tre@sure was a super important time in sidem history where the gap was really bridged between the japanese fans and the rest of us. 4th live tre@sure gate was a must-attend for me because of this and it was my first time attending a imas live locally ever! i'll never forget the feeling of the lights dimming and meet the world beginning to play with every seiyuu's voice together in a huge powerful harmony. it was the first time id ever heard my 4 tantous voices in real life without a screen and thousands of miles between us and it was one of the most important moments of my life. i knew in that moment i could never miss another live again no matter how hard it is and how many hurdles i have to jump over to get to japan for the events. every time i travel again for imas, i listen to meet the world on repeat and think about how my passion for the idols can 空を海を夜を越えて <3

2. reason

reason is THE sidem song. every time i listen to it, the memories from the anime and lives and games all flood back to me. i've been a P since 2011 and AS has always been my home, and the reason i got into sidem at all is because i love AS and i've always felt that sidem and AS are the most connected and spiritually similar branches of imas. i always felt this way, so when sideani was released and we heard the full version of reason for the first time and realized that it was a love song to all of imas and everything that came before sidem... wow. im still so grateful to this day. and not only that, but AS themselves performing reason at moiw last year.... 😭 ill never be the same....

3. platinum mask

platinum mask!!! PLATINUM MASK!!! beits long awaited growing signal song. the memories attached to this song are so incredible. being in tokyo when the platinum mask event was announced, getting to experience platinum mask in full for the first time by hearing it performed live by all of beit at yokoari in that same week, platinum mask's cd releasing the week of moiw, platinum mask having the honor of being performed at moiw, and platinum mask being the song we got to finally see animated by sublimation for beits 3d mv. this song has given beit so many opportunities and been used to promote beit in ways id never even dreamed of before as their producer. not to mention the beautiful grand, royal aesthetic is something ive been waiting for my tantous to get forever, along with the lyrics perfectly fitting beits themes of secrecy and gaining/losing power.... this is truly the perfect song in every way.

4. hyper believer

i have so much to say about this song its unreal but ill try and keep it condensed. hyper believer was part of the first cd in the huuugely important and long awaited 49 elements series. there were 5 years in between shikis first solo and second solo, and much like the rest of the songs in 49ele, the jump in quality and huge level up for the idol is super tangible. hyper believer is shikis love song to highxjoker, to his friends his family producer the rest of 315pro, to life itself. it's about being self aware that hes in the awkward, incomplete period of his teenage years but going through every day knowing its temporary and fleeting so enjoying it anyway. every lyric is perfect and i still cant believe shiki got a song like this that takes him as a character so seriously. i havent felt so emotionally impacted by a song since chihaya's saihyou.

i love shiki more than anything in the entire world and i want to spend the rest of my life producing him. thats why when april 4th 2023 happened, it became impossible to listen to this song. theres a line in hyper believer that goes "millions of failures, successes, and brilliance are waiting for me" and i became unable to even face shiki when, in the real world, it seemed like there was no future waiting for him at all. all i could feel was my regret, my shock, my failure as a producer, my anger towards the situation sidem was put in. i carried these heavy feelings with me for months and didnt listen to the song for almost a year. until 8th live.

i attended sidem's 8th live at k-arena with nervous apprehension, careful excitement. very guarded. 2023 was the worst year of my life because of sidem, but also the best because of sidem. the idea of this being the final live and the end of the roadmap made me sick to my stomach and i sat in my seat on level-5 on day 2 with the idea that it could be the last time, ever. however, after a perfect baton touch from chibasho, nogamin came out on stage and performed hyper believer. "with tears in my eyes, i know i cant let this end". i was blown away. every single line hit me like a truck, only amplified by how long itd been since i heard them. after it was over, i was so stunned i didnt even register different songs had begun to play until 2-3 songs later. with that one song, every worry that clouded my life since april was blown away and my love for imas that had dropped to a 10% raised back up to 100%. along with platinum mask's b-side being performed, go for it, the surprise appearance of rairai meishi, and all the announcements afterwards that proved that sidem not only wasnt stopping any time soon, but revving up more than ever for the 10th anniversary made hachisu my favorite live of all time. i felt like everything id worked up to actually meant something and now i can face shiki with more love than ever because of this song.

thank you shiki, thank you nogami-san.

5. go for it

everything about go for it is very quintessentially "sidem" to me. being able to see minori as the center for such a fun shuffle unit is so precious. the unit originating in moba and then getting a song together through saisuta feels like staff very carefully considered how to bridge the gaps between both worlds and im very grateful for how much care was put into creating this project for them. not only that, but the lyrics are so fun and positive in a very sidem way and im so happy our oldest idols could sing this together since the age range of the idols being so wide is another charm point of sidem.

i also really love how sidem-like the music itself is too. sidem music is inherently instantly recognizable among other imas music because its men singing, but i think its really commendable that even if the vocals were muted, most people could still probably tell this was a sidem song. i also love love love how the music is ... tastefully dated? it matches the silly goofy aesthetic of over30 so much. its so playful. i love this song so much

i really hope i can own a proper go for it cd one day..... :(

6. summertime graffiti

not only do i think this is just a really really fun, catchy song that everybody should listen to, but this is the song that all 4 of my tantou sing together... <3 having tantou in different units means i dont get to see them together that often, and although theres 全体曲 and other songs like 315 steelo and welcome to japan that feature a mix of my 4 tantou, but this is the only song with kyoji pierre minori AND shiki singing together. beit and highxjoker combined with the energy and cuteness that yusuke and kyosuke add makes this the perfect song that i cant help but smile while listening to! hearing it performed at masters of idol world last year was so incredible i still cant believe it actually happened.... :'D

7. sunset colors

sideani 315. thats all i can really say. highxjokers songs are usually more idol-like in line distrubition and style than band-like, but for the anime they went full in on highxjoker being a band and it was so beautiful. shikis lead vocals throughout the entire song with everyone else backing him up feels like the most true to form highxjoker song ever. an entire episode of sideani being dedicated to this story and the build up to jun yelling out shikis name during the role call.... ;---; not to mention highxjokers seiyuu learning their characters instruments to perform it at 3/4 legs of the 3rd live tour... its such a huge honor to have my idol be the center of such an important song.

8. red hot beat

another song i just simply love to listen to and makes me really happy. super upbeat and high energy, perfect for all the physical members ❤️ i really really really adore the line distrubition in this song. seeing all of the combinations is so fun and i really like how most of them pair the idols up with more unexpected duos, which makes it really fun. shiki and minori are my physical tantous, so getting to hear asselin and minoris duet followed by shiki and suzakus duet is just so fun!! those combinations could only happen in this song so i tresure them deeply. the lyrics are so adorable too... theyre filled with such a deep love/affection that only idols ive produced for 10 years now could sing, yknow? if that makes sense. this song and its lyrics can only work because the sidem idols have been active for such a long time. cries.

also, minori was the event sr for the red hot beat event in saisuta which i had a lot of fun running. i think i hit 500,000 points? it really was fun....

9. secret ornament

theres not really a super deep reason for choosing this, but i just really love this song. theres something so endlessly magical about getting to hear kyoji pierre and minoris voices harmonizing together. a more orchestral song like this that relies on their vocals more shows that off perfectly. the violin solo after minoris solo gives me goosebumps no matter how many times i listen to this song on repeat. i love them so much. i cant wait to hear this song live one day ;-;

10. voy@ger

this might be cheating but theres no way i couldnt include voy@ger. voy@ger is my favorite thing the idolmaster franchise has ever done. ever. i cant say it enough. every single part of it is perfect. absolutely perfect. ive talked about it so much and gone over every possible detail and frame and milisecond of the song so many times that i wont repeat it all here but i just want to mention specifically that...

obviously i love the choice of sidem idols that got to participate because kyoji got to take part in this project but because... well... for a long time the reason othermas Ps would give that they didnt want to hear our sidem idols perform with their girls is because their voices are too deep and they would sound weird or bad or disruptive to the girls. i really hate this. not only is this super disrespectful to the song writers and sound producers, but also for more importantly the idols and seiyuu, both male and female. for nanwara and poplinks tune and even cryst@loud later on, only the main trio idols were used, but they were the "obvious choices" and only drastars members sang with the girls. but voy@ger didnt go that route and used idols outside the main trios. and for sidem in my opinion it wouldve been really easy for them to just choose. like. idk. kanon saki pierre ie the idols with the highest pitched voices and thrown them in the group so they could sing on the same octave as the girls but they didnt do that at all. and thats my favorite thing about voy@ger. kyoji genbu chris are probably the 3 idols with the LOWEST voices in all of idolmaster and im so happy they were given that opportunity to prove the weirdos who hate sidem wrong. they killed it so hard. im so in love with every decision made about voy@ger i could literally talk about this forever but this is probably my time to wrap this post up....!!

thank you 酒カス☆ボンバイエ and 黒川 for organizing this project! its been so fun to read other Ps thoughts on so many different songs. i had a lot of fun filling out my own version ^^

#imas #txt #SideM

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melancholiaenthroned · 1 year ago

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10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

i was tagged by @bladeofavernus tyyyy<3 i rlly struggled to think of 10 fandoms im currently in (that had characters i care a lot about. sorry malevolent) but this was fun! not tagging 10 ppl bc im insecure and dont want to be a bother but ! not in any particular order but here they r

michelle carter (dc comics) the realization that i can only pick one dc character for this... so scary. idk if michelle is my favorite dc character ever but shes certainly up there and right now shes at the top of my brain... what does it mean to walk out of the fridge... what does it mean when everyone remembers you dying except for you... hes mourned you but youre back and you didnt even know you were gone... funerals are for the living....

paige duplass (the silt verses) my girlllll augh. augh. my false prophet... its been going not great for her lately and every scene with her recently makes me want to rip my heart out and sob and sob and sob. she just wants to fix the whole world. is that too much to ask. it might be. ill support her forever tho idc if her godchild fucks up and destroys the whole earth i will always be on her side. she went to business school shes a star employee shes an alcoholic shes mother mary. shes everything

amanda young (saw) you knew she was gonna be here i love her so bad. ive spoken at length about amanda before u all know my thoughts. saw iii you will always be famous

jung heewon (orv) thought id throw in a recent interest even tho im still no where done orv^_^ jhw is my favorite so far ever since her scene where she first used judgement day... i love the avenging angel type of character esp the way she does it (attack dog baby!) and i love her dynamic with the rest of the group.

kim kitsuragi (disco elysium) everyday i am thinking about him if you dont see me post about him know that im still thinking about him. i miss him bad

clara (pathologic) shes just a baby... i love her... i love a girl who is silly but so tragic i love a girl who was born in an empty grave i love a girl with frightening powers she doesnt understand i love a girl placed in a situation outside of her control who is still blamed when it goes wrong.

apollo (wildstorm) doesnt count as dc ok. im reaching here im rlly not into that many things its mostly just dc comics. but its his wildstorm self i actually care about sooo counting it. i miss when he killed ppl

calroy cruller (dimension 20) sorry im gonna be a calroy head forever probably hes so special to me. i love villain monologues i love treason i love betrayal.

sasha (borderlands) not into borderlands anymore but she makes this list bc sasha isnt a borderlands character to me ok shes a dear friend. i love her forever even if i will probably never play those games again. ok thats a lie but ill probably never talk about them online again. ok thats a lie too

eddie brock (marvel) it was truly a struggle to think of ten fandoms i currently care about um. i dont even like current venom comics. but eddie will always be special to me i love u insane girl<3

not tagging anyone today im way too tired to think of ppl sorryyyy but if u want to do this just say i tagged u 👍

#poison.txt #tyyyyyyy again for tagging me^_^

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three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat · 2 years ago

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OHH MY GOD THE "BEYOND..." OPTION I FORGOT AB THAT ONE!!! sksw link is such a rascal i love him so...

and donot fucking worry i know EXACTLY what ur talking abt with how it permeates the tags and ao3. finding good ao3 fics is impossible and ESPECIALLY for sksw and oot. im surprised ive found what good ones i can man. also i could talk for hours alone about how L/U has impacted malons character bc i adore her to the point of devoting a major part of my post-oot aus to what happens to her and seeing how shes interpreted nowadays is so. hhhhh !!!!!!! :((( stop making her a scolding mother figure stop making her Links Wife and nothing else she can be so much more than just that!!!!!!!!!!!! aauauausbaa. actually i could talk forever and ever abt how fanon link and malon and zelda tends to make them the worst possible versions of themselves and how l/u kinda perpetuates that but its 1 am and i have a fic to write so fffff

and the names man the names. its such a small thing (and im no stranger to sometimes using those abbreviations in some of my posts when i get especially verbose or have to talk abt multiple links all at once) but i try to go outta my way to refer to the chars as [game] [name] just to make it as clear as possible that im not talking abt the l/u counterparts. theyre practically their own chars to me at this point which sucks when im looking for content of my favs sksw link or oot link and i get Sleepy Soft Boy and Responsible Serious Soldier like no! no!!!!! thats my purse i dont know you /ref!!!!!!!

anyways. maybe i am just old and not with it since ive been a loz fan almost my entire life but it is nice to see someone who feels the same 👍 ty for lettin me complain for a moment there.

on a lighter note tell me about the "sksw link is not actually sleepy" thing bc im curious. its a thing thats mentioned abt pre-destiny link but after zelda falls it does kinda go away aside from the eyebags in his character model and i wanna kno what u hafta say ab it.........

You and I, we can be haters together

The one SMALL mercy I've found while looking up loz fics is that there's no lu fics in the ghiralink tag. For obvious reasons I think. Everywhere else seems to be a fucking HELLHOLE (the first thing I search when I first start looking for fics in a fandom is time travel and uh-- you can imagine what I found (BARELY FUCKING ANYTHING (and also lu)))

Also I haven't gotten around to watching an oot playthrough yet-- is it really that bad with Malon? (For the record I much prefer zelink and like-- I don't even really like zelink all that much beyond ss. And also I hc oot as siblings sometimes. So yeah.)

Honestly I would love to play oot but I can't :( and alas, watching playthroughs is just dreadfully dull (I got a decent way through an mm one though but gave up eventually). Regarding oot link's character though-- I admit I myself have not yet written a fic where it's not lu (or adjacent) so I don't really get the intricacies of his character (see also aforementioned playthrough dullness) so like. If you ever want to talk to someone about it all I would be interested

I also do the name thing, with game then character (on one hand the "hero titles" is just lazy and i really hate how it's become common and they would never give each other names like that but on the other the reason I haven't written much for MY links meet au is because I can't come up with 12 names that don't sound stupid and are also names they would give each other, so. And also apparently those names aren't official to lu (in comic jojo will use things like the old man (time) the smithy (four) the rancher (twilight) and full hero titles on posts (hero of the skies, hero of the four sword, etc)). So as you can see all bad things come from fandom, in this essay I will,

Ok so. It's been a while since I've fully played ss (like two months but my memory is just shit). So I might be wrong. But Link simply does not seem very sleepy to me? Especially not to the extent he is in lu.

For one-- our first introduction to him is him sleeping, yes, and we get told by many npcs and Zelda herself that he oversleeps, but there's a VAST difference between oversleeping and being sleepy. I myself am bad at alarms and such and beyond Premium Loftwing Mail (letter spat in your face) there's really nothing to wake him up, so he'd probably just sleep too long

Also he's been having dreams about the Imprisoned for who knows how long. Dude probably ain't sleeping that well (fi I love you but I think that might have been a mistake)

(Side note he's still in school and there's an open book on his desk-- he COULD be staying up late studying. Unlikely but I think that would be interesting)

Honestly it all just seems like teasing to me-- there's no indication that he's ACTUALLY constantly sleeping too long, just that it's happened enough times that some people have noticed (and it's not like everyone says it). Honestly the only thing pointing to a constant sleepiness is his "sit too long on a stool and start nodding off" animation (which is still like, really funny imo. how are you even DOING that you are SITTING STRAIGHT UP)

Now, delving into my own hcs and such-- he did not sleep. After Impa calls him lazy and too late at the earth temple, something I think would distinctly Fuck Him Up (he SAW the chains Zelda was held by), he would simply-- forgo sleep until it was necessary. I've seen estimates that sksw took place over about 11 months, and that's what I generally use in my fics, so-- my dude really said "I wont rest until I find Zelda" and then took a knife to his sleep schedule

(Side note-- do you think they held a funeral (or Skyloft equivalent) for Zelda? Like it seems that after a week or so of searching, the reasonable conclusion of her being dead would be reached (especially if her bird came back, which-- what's up with that? There must be some nesting area for loftwings, so either it would be seen there or it would also be presumed alongside Zelda if it got sucked down to the surface))

So anyway. His tiredness is self imposed, not something he's always had. (One of my febuwhump fics was that he was literally so exhausted he got hurt and passed out midfight. It was fun.)

Also like I don't know if it's just me but sleepy and tired have different meanings-- sleepy is, idk, cuter? Softer? And tired is. I haven't slept in 17 hours and before that I slept for three hours. (Maybe THAT'S just why it bugs me so much)

And also! Like you said! Beyond the eyebags (which are always there, lending credit to my theory of oversleeping because he simply didn't sleep well/enough) he's really... not tired OR sleepy for the majority of the game

Anyway moving onto lu :) SKY BEING THE LAZY ONE REALLY BUGS ME BECAUSE SIR HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED THE GAME. YOU'RE GOING TO ASSIGN HIM THE ATTRIBUTE OF LAZINESS WHEN HE ALMOST CERTAINLY PUSHED HIMSELF HARDER TO RESCUE ZELDA AFTER BEING CALLED SUCH? AND THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO REDUCE HIM TO? YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST PICKED SOMETHING COOL LIKE "GOD KILLER" OR SOMETHING ACCURATE LIKE "LITTLE SHIT"

Ha. He's the one who bugs me the most because ss is my favorite game (not just Zelda game, favorite out of anything) and I've put literal hundred of hours into it. There's honestly more I could say but i fear I've already descended into "wildly incomprehensible"

#sorry if i was talking weird in some bits i get like that when its late #mb and strawberryrosewood scream about hats

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