#I LOVE BEING A DELUSIONAL CLOWN TOO MUCH SO THIS IS THE REALITY I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IN UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY

[stormyoceans]

>WHEN THERE WERE VERY STRONG EVIDENCE OF IT HAPPENING

wru talking about love? what happened in the spring?

well okay perhaps 'strong evidence' may have been just a bit of an overstatement BUT STILL. I STAND BY WHAT I SAID THE SIGNS WERE SIGNING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR AND IF ONCE IS AN ACCIDENT TWICE IS A COINCIDENCE AND THREE TIMES IS A PATTERN THEN FOUR TIMES IS A FREE PASS FOR DELULULAND

okay so. im gonna start with a little premise: nomnoms have believed that jimmysea would get the ทำนายทายทัพ adaptation since we realized they were going to work with p'aof way back in november 2022, and that's because the novel can be seen in bad buddy ep 12 and because around that time both jimmy and sea liked a tweet that compared them to the characters (remember when we could see everyone's likes on the bird app? those were the times for delusional people). in the end we got last twilight, but during the final episode event, jimmy said that he thought he was gonna act in another project

after that we honestly got a lot of suspicious stuff, such as this interaction between jimmysea and the last twilight admin while promoting the flirting syndrome MV:

jimmy also used the 🔮 emoji in one of his mirror selfie with sea and I SWEAR TO YOU i remember so clearly to have seen a tweet where p’aof said that for his next series he would go back to the mountains, but sadly i have never found that post again ;;;;;;;;

speaking of mountains, at the end of 2023 jimmysea + p'aof and a few other people (namtan, arm, sing) [who are all gonna be at the GMMTV 2025 event may i add] went on a trip to chiang mai, which i mean. it could have definitely been just a vacation, but you know what chiang mai has? A LOT OF NICE SPOTS FOR A POSSIBLE SERIES ABOUT A DOCTOR AND A FORTUNE TELLER HIDING IN THE MOUNTAINS

and okay i know this all sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory kind of talk BUT. isn't it a bit too much of a coincidence that p'aof took a break from filming exactly during the time jimmysea were going to be unavailable?????? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

[ajokeformur-ray]

Can I request an angsty fic for Arthur? Can it be about his s/o researching apartments and jobs outside of Gotham because they want to move away and they accidentally leave the print-outs of these jobs and homes somewhere Arthur sees them and he things they are leaving him. it can either be a headcanon or an imagine, your choice :)

*Low whistle* okay, this broke my heart so, sorry, but I had to make it fluffy at the end. I can’t hurt Arthur. He’s been through so much already. 

TW; arguing, shouting, miscommunications in a relationship, very insecure Arthur, smoking, swearing, mentions of reader suffering from panic attacks, mentions of gaslighting… is angsty but ends fluffy. I need our sad clown boi to be happy. 

Word count: 1, 718.

When you got home from work, you could have cut the tension in the room with a knife. As you shut the door and took off your coat, shoes and let your bag drop gently to the floor where it would stay until tomorrow morning, Arthur remained sat on the sofa, his head leaning over the back, his legs spread and his knees aggressively bouncing as he took long, deep drags from his cigarette, burnt down nearly to the filter, and pursed his lips with every exhale. 

He paid no mind to you at all and that made you incredibly nervous. Instantly did you know that you were in trouble. Arthur never ignored you. Even when he was asleep, you were perfectly at rights to wake him up for something as simple as the fact that you want to hear his voice at three in the morning, or that you want a cuddle and you can’t because he’s laying wrong. You could wake him up for anything at any time and he would indulge you because you were Arthur’s entire world and he never let you doubt that for even a second.

You were in deep shit and you fucking knew it.

“Arthur? Honey, what’s - “

Arthur lifted his head up and fixed you with a cold look which chilled you to the bone. Ah, fuck. What had you done? What hadn’t you done, if that was the case? Had you forgotten something? Distantly in your mind were you attracted to this angry Arthur, but now really wasn’t the time to jump his bones like there was no tomorrow. If his current mood continued without you extracting any answers from him, there wouldn’t be a tomorrow. Not for you as a couple, anyway.

You felt sick now as he continued to stare at you. He stood up from the sofa, busied himself with lighting another cigarette, and reached out to grab a thick sheath of paper from the dining room table. “What is this?” Arthur’s voice was quiet, so quiet you almost couldn’t hear him over the roaring in your head. You were starting to panic now. Any longer and he would send you into a panic attack. His voice was like ice. His eyes lacked warmth. His body declined you coming closer to him. His nostrils flared. He was fucking livid.

You stepped back one pace and his eyes tracked the movement. Somehow, you moving further away from him only angered him further. “It says here that you’re looking for places to live outside of Gotham. When were you going to tell me, honey?” Arthur spat out the last word and your eyes zoned into the pages he was holding, relief flooding you. Ohhh~. You knew you had forgotten to do something this morning in your haste to get to work before you were late. Even so, why had you decided to leave them in plain sight knowing that Arthur didn’t know any of your plans yet? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Arthur, about that, I - “

You turned from him and went to get a drink from the kitchen. You needed a cup of coffee. Your head was pounding, your heart was racing, your hands were starting to shake and you felt sick.

“No. No, you do not get to walk away from me, Y/N.”

Arthur came forward and you sped up into the kitchen. “Please don’t give me a hard time, just let me - “

“I’ll give you a fucking hard -” Arthur rounded into the kitchen and stopped dead when he saw that you were on the border line of having a panic attack. You hated raised voices, you hated being closed in and you hated the way he was making you feel right now. It just wasn’t okay, even if he did look really fucking hot when he was angry. Not the time, Y/N… you chided yourself.

You watched as Arthur took several deep breaths, clenched his fists by his sides still holding the papers, the cigarette dangling from his mouth, and made a very admirable visible effort to calm himself down. When seconds had ticked past, Arthur pressed a hand to his forehead, his intense green eyes meeting yours in desperation while his free hand grabbed the cigarette, which he flicked the excess ash off quickly and put it out by drawing a smiley face on the wall. Instantly could you see the true reason for his anger - he was scared. You took a minute just to put the pieces together. 

“Fuck! Fuck, no, Arthur, it’s not what you think, I promise!” You rushed over to him and pulled him into a hug. Arthur stayed completely still in your hold, not letting himself give in. So often had people kept him in the dark, kept secrets from him, and then when he had found out they had gas-lighted him into thinking he was crazy, that he was delusional, that he was wrong. He had been stupid to think that you were different. You were leaving him and you hadn’t even bothered telling him. It was really sad how nothing ever surprised Arthur anymore.

“Are you leaving me?” Arthur’s voice was nothing more above a whisper, his voice so soft, so heartbroken. 

You bit your lip against your tears. How could you have done this to him, even by complete accident? You were paying for your lack of forethought now. “No. I would never leave you.” You should have told him your plans from the start, involved him in the process from the start. Surprises were not appreciated when it came to Arthur, even the good ones. He had been taught that secrets hurt, that surprises hurt, that people would always leave in the end. Hadn’t you taught him anything?

“Then what is it?” Arthur was still tense in your hold. You pulled away to look him fully in the face, your arms still around his shoulders, your fingers still toying with his hair. You were trying so hard to calm him down, even with your own hands shaking, the panic attack still looming over you. Your breathing had slowed down though, so you knew you would be okay. Your breathing was always your first clue that an attack was coming on.

“I’m making plans for us to leave this city. Together.” Your lips twitched as you made the emphasis deliberate. You finally noticed that he still had the papers and you tugged them out of his grip, tutting when you saw how badly he had crinkled them. “Look - I found a single bedroom apartment just outside of Gotham. There’s a comedy club nearby that you could work at, and there’s another place near there I could work. Money would be tight but… when isn’t it?” 

Arthur was silent, his expression frozen in a deep frown as he stared at you, his eyes unseeing.

“Too much.” You muttered to yourself. You had told him too much too fast and now he needed some time to just… replay your words, replay them again, replay the entire evening and just work it all out in his own time. Patience was always extremely necessary with Arthur. If you tried to make him talk before he was ready, before he had the words to speak, then he would close up so fast you wouldn’t even notice that he had been thinking of opening up. His walls were built up so strongly that even he couldn’t control them anymore.

“You want us to… live together… outside the city? You want a life with me?” Arthur was talking slowly, his voice incredulous, his tone soft yet somehow also raspy at the same time. Fuck, you loved him. You were head over heels for Arthur Fleck.

You nodded. “If you want to. I’m sorry I kept it from you. I was going to tell you when everything had been sorted out so that you had nothing to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Arthur stepped away from you, putting physical distance between you, and looked you square in the face. Whatever he was about to say was important to him, and you did him the silent favour of giving him his favourite kind of audience: you. All of Gotham could have been at his feet hanging onto his every word in that moment and he would still only have eyes for you. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. That wasn’t right.”

“Apology accepted.” You smiled at him to take the edge off the moment. You could breathe now. The storm had passed. “Am I forgiven?” Please say yes, please say yes, please say - 

“No.” 

Your jaw dropped at Arthur’s completely serious face. “Shit, Arthur, I’m so so -”

He smiled without humour at you and you realised he had been partially joking. “I don’t forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who yelled at you, who scared you so bad you nearly had an attack. I’m sorry.”

You stepped forward, watched him carefully for any signs of rejection, and pulled him into a hug. He went with you gladly, melting into your hold, and you knew that the time for talking was over. There would be nothing more said tonight. You would choose an apartment together, focus on finding jobs, and then when the impossible became the probable and then the possible and then, the reality, then you would talk.

For now… for now, there was some serious cuddling to be done. However, there was one last thing you had to say - 

“Arthur?”

He hummed into your neck gently, his breath tickling the hairs that lay there. he sounded like he was right on the edge of sleep. Well, you would take him to bed but not to sleep. You grinned deviously as you stroked his hair in a soothing motion.

“Did you know you’re really fucking attractive when you’re angry?”

Arthur pulled back from you just in time for a loud bout of laughter to rip its way out of his throat. You didn’t mind, though - he wasn’t laughing from pain or from nerves. He was laughing because he was happy and that was all you had ever wanted for him.

Now to secure your future together…

Arthur Fleck/Joker:  @writings-of-a-gen-z @x-avantgarde-x @mapreza1 @insomniabird @mavalenovaninagavi @itwasrealenough @morrisonmercurymalek  @rand0ms-fand0ms @rafaelina-casillas @aclownthing @rebs-doom @vivft @help-i-am-obssessed @autumnaffection @taintednihilist @vladtoly @mg-woolf99 @misstgrey92 @that-s-life @dopey-girl-blogs @seeking-dreamland @sweetheart-syndrome @heartxfdesire @xmusichealsthesoulx @0callmejude0 @the-one-that-likes-riddles @hannibalsslut @folliaght @freeeshavacadoo @bingewatchingmylifegoby @unlovedbyeveryoneandeverything @okamiredfoxx @sp0okysp0oky

[thatawokenbino]

(Crack Theory/Belief thing): Kaneki, Furuta and this Devil Complex

Ok, so I think that Kaneki is pretty much Takizawa in this chapter XD! (Jk)

I’m gunna try and make this short and sweet because I just want to get this off my mental.

Could Kaneki and Takizawa hold the same representation as “The Devil”? Could this have been the centipede’s calling for Kaneki’s change?

I’ve created this thing to help me explain stuff, I call it “The Devil Complex”. You can call it whatever you like lol! I just like the way it sounds

What I believe makes him (Kaneki) like The Devil is that he 1.) lies (snake) 2.) is manipulative 3.) wants to be like Godlike

He lies to his group. He gives these speeches of “humans and ghouls coexisting” and “creating peace on the surface” BLAH! At the same time, won’t kill a single human to feed his group and give them the strength to protect themselves and survive.

He’s manipulative to himself and others. He believes his own bull crap and tries to use Touka as a reason to continue on (he needs something to live for, right) before the mob comes for me. No, I’m not saying he doesn’t LOVE her. Clearly he does, and some… but doesn’t understand that if he doesn’t attend to needs for the group and if Furuta plans on digging deep into the 24th Ward to eradicate what’s left of GOAT then she “will” die, along with the child and everyone else. (if she’s preggo). He also patronizes Tsukiyama so that he’s tied down with him. (Look at the recent chapter, need I explain)?

He wants to be godlike, or more specifically, like “Jesus”. bridging the gap and breaking the tension nonsense. (Jesus didn’t want to bridge any gap or whatever, you know what I mean. He wants to be righteous like him) He also doesn’t want to kill (Jesus also didn’t want to hurt, he’d rather be hurt). Tsukiyama is almost like the voice of reason in this chapter lol! He tells Kaneki that his health is being impacted simply because he hasn’t been eating/killing humans. ((choosing to hurt himself rather than hurt others) so in short, he hasn’t changed at all since part one of TG, and if I missed anything and he has, he hasn’t been consistant with it. He also says “don’t sympathise with the enemy”. To be honest, how the hell can Kaneki fight for ghouls but won’t kill a human. Ghouls need humans to live. You don’t kill humans, ghouls will die. So what are you fighting for Kaneki baby???

Which leads me to explaining even more about The Devil Complex. Also with the Furuta/Kaneki parallel and how it works.

Short and sweet, Furuta is what Kaneki should be. Furuta has accepted his Devil Complex. which is why he’s so successful now, and will continue to be because he doesn’t care about either side. He’s just destructive and merciless (like his disciples: The Oggai) and Kaneki has not because he’s The Fool. And he’s delusional. If he doesn’t rise up and accept that fact that he must do evil as well, to be successful and not take the toys away from the misbehaving children, he won’t bridge anything. I want to explain about The Oggai as well and why Two deaths, isn’t about the oggai themselves, but the Humans and Ghouls, Kaneki and Furuta. The two people keeping that bridge from being built.

I may sound like a nihilist but, this is my belief. I believe that the only way to end the tension and hatred between two parties (Ghouls and Humans) is to break it all down (ideologies, beliefs etc. BLAH) and start over again while not repeating the same mistakes (whatever made Ghouls and Humans hate eachother). I believe that the history of prejudice and hate between ghouls and humans spreads to deep and there’s too much damage to heal the consistently opened wounds. People don’t understand compromise because there are years and years and YEARS of reasons to continue fighting against each other now. I mean, look, Kaneki’s goal sounds cute and righteous and good but, when you look deeper down, it’s actually merciless and crazy and illogical when you chose to go about it the way Kaneki is. Again, going by my belief on bridging an end to the conflict between Ghoul and mankind.

Why I say that Furuta is who Kaneki should be? Is because of this belief I have up top^ Furuta doesn’t care about Humans, Ghouls, V, Washuu, nothing! He’s like a typical Clown, would rather watch the world go up in flames cuz, thrills. If anything, Furuta will probably be successful at bridging the gap than delusional Kaneki even thought that’s not his goal. (Although it could be, when thinking about “Super Peace”) He will probably “Have the last laugh”. Kaneki cares too much. He doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything. For any death. (Thinking about Jason) He just wants to be this saint, this savior to Ghouls and Humans. He’ll just continue to lie to everyone and himself until he can’t anymore. Until he has to face reality that it simply “Won’t Work” if you continue down your path.

As for physical conflict, I think a fight between Furuta and Kaneki will be like this; Due to Kaneki’s health, Furuta will use this to his advantage, he will probably explain to Kaneki that his methods of creating peace amongst Ghoul and Human is “too pure” to work. That you have to kill humans. That “you can’t have your cake and eat it too, Kaneki Ken”. I feel like this mysterious OEK hidden away could also help him understand this too. Also goes back to my belief of how the bridge can be built. The tragedy of this whole thing is that you can’t do anything “righteous” without hurting people or yourself to get there.

1.) Hide sacrificing himself for Kaneki 2.) Kaneki’s mother giving money to support her sister. The money that could have been used towards Kaneki’s future. 3.) Shirazu taking the blow from Noro and dying for his squad. And so on and so on. (I could be wrong about that)

I mean, the people that follow Kaneki (The fools following along the fools’ journey) will realize eventually, if not everyone then, a handful will realize that Their King, is delusional and could be the set up for their death if they don’t make moves to survive and protect themselves. This will probably be what Kaneki needs to move towards his goal. Having losses (death, departure or defeat) to understand.

In the end, I believe that Kaneki (who I believe will go crazy due to reality breaking through his delusions ((death all around him, his plans failing, being alone etc. etc because he chose to not understand) and Furuta (not giving a shit and Super Peace) will destroy each other and bring everyone down into the abyss with them (The Two Deaths needed to bridge the gap). Thus breaking things down and have the next generation repair everything with the knowledge of the past Tokyo Ghouls and not make their mistakes. They will learn to find an understanding because the last generation couldn’t. That would be a bittersweet ending.

Or he could join Furuta and betray GOAT and it will have the same outcome. Just Kaneki will be perceived as crazy rather than actual. And be hated amongst the ghouls. Either way, everyone dies. But there will still be hope for the future. It will be heartfelt and tearful but it leaves room for optimism.

weeeeeelllllppppp, that’s my little crack thought lol! I LOVE feedback! I’m not gunna rant or whatever so give your feedback! Thank you!