#I JUST LIKE TO POKE THIS SHIP WITH A STICK AND WATCH THEM SQUIRM

[bougiebutchbitch]

[ @onepiecehours ]

YOU GUYS ARE SO CORRECT

for real for real. Shanks is living in a happy sunshine world where he and his long-term long-distance childhood sweetheart are finally getting back together.

Buggy is in hell.

it's so fucking funnyyyyyyy

local clown cannot stop sleeping with loser scrub ex, more at ten

(the text behind Buggy in the middle panel reads 'If you're under him you ain't getting over him / we are never ever ever getting back together / yes I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect / a scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me)

bonus:

[ticklishprincey]

Hi! You might not remember me, but your fics are really good and i was wondering if you could maybe write a tickle fic for platonic Leo Valdez and Nico D'Angelo? Like where Nico maybe tries to cheer up Leo after Jason dies? No pressure of course, there is just no tkl content for my bois! Have a nice day/night!

✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. Not me just receiving this ask directly after reading Jason was dead like BABES I'M STILL MOURNING MY BOY HE IS ALIVE AND WELL IN MY BRAIN DAMMIT so I will not be doing that specific scenario but I do agree with you there is not enough tickle content for the socially awkward babies so I WILL PROVIDE ◦•●◉✿ Warnings: Tickling, teasing, restraint (just pinning the other down nothing crazy) ◦•●◉✿ Pairings: Lee!Nico & Ler!Leo ◦•●◉✿ Notes: I headcannon Nico to be like 1,000% lee so he be a lee in this fic hehe also YES BABES I REMEMBER U HOW COULD I NOT /pos ✿◉●•◦𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢, 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚢𝚜◦•●◉✿ Leo stood at the helm of the Argo II, fidgeting with various trinkets he had lying around, looking over at the pure anomaly of a demigod leaning over the ship's railing. Nico Di Angelo. Holy shit, was he something else. Shadows seemed to bend to his will, he gave off this dark, emo, intimidating vibe that never sat right with Leo. Nothing against him, of course. Leo was partially in awe of the brooding demigod. He held himself with this... This aura of confidence and mystery that seemed to both intimidate and inspire. His thoughts were interrupted as the demigod in question suddenly appeared in a cloud of shadows behind him. "Hey, brooding's my thing. Cut it out." Leo jumped in surprise, whipping around to face the other teen quickly and nearly tripping over his own feet.

"Christ on a stick, man!" he gasps, gripping his shirt over his pounding heart. Instead of concern, the younger demigod simply smirked. "Maybe you need to grow a spine, fireboy." The comment earned a swift middle finger.

"Watch your mouth, Casper," he shot back, eyes narrowing into a playful glare. "Or I'll light you up like a Christmas tree." "Sure you will. I'm soooo scared." Sarcasm dripped like honey from the demigod's voice as he returned the glare. A wicked grin spreads across his face, darkening his warm features. "You should be," he said in a mock-threatening voice. "Unless you want to find out what happens when you piss off the kid that can control fire and heat with a snap of his fingers."

"What if I do?" Nico retorted. If looks could kill, Leo would be a skeleton by now. "Then you're either braver or stupider than I gave you credit for." "What are you gonna do, huh? You can't burn me, I'd beat your ass and Percy'd finish you off." Nico looked up at the taller demigod with his signature shit-eating grin.

Leo returned the grin, refusing to be intimidated, even though he knew Nico would wipe the floor with him in a fight.

"You're pretty confident for a skinny boy with zero upper body strength," he quips, poking him in the stomach with one finger. What he expected was a snarky comeback, maybe a reality-check. What he did not expect was a squeak from the younger demigod, followed by a light pink hue dusting the son of Hades's cheeks and ears. "Hey!" Nico exclaimed, pushing away Leo's hand. Leo blinked, momentarily dumbfounded, before his surprise gave way to realization.

He grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Are you ticklish, Casper?"

With those words, the race was on. Nico darted towards the lower deck, giggling like a child. Leo wasted no time in giving chase. "Get back here, ghost boy!" Leo catches up quickly, grabbing the emo's arm and wrestling him to the ground. "HEY!" Leo snickered as he pinned Nico to the deck below, straddling his waist. Despite the struggling boy beneath him, he had the younger demigod completely and utterly immobilized.

"Pinned ya," he said victoriously. Anticipatory giggles filled any silence remaining between them, the smaller demigod squirming underneath the weight of the fire-bender (yes I had to make that joke fuck off /aff). "Nononono Leo I'm sorry dohon't-" "Don't what?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned closer. He had the smaller boy's wrists pinned above his head with one hand. "Tickle me!" Nico responded, realizing too late what he had said. Leo grinned. "Tickle you? Only if you insist." With that, Leo squeezed Nico's side, eliciting a squeal from the other boy. He smiled down at him fondly. "Nononono Leheheo!" "Leo what? Leo keep going? My pleasure!" "Nohoho that's nohohot whahahat I meant!" Leo just laughed, keeping Nico wrists above his head, one-handed now as his other hand snakes up under the child of death's shirt to poke and prod at the pale belly.

"Oh, it wasn't?" he said with mock shock, watching him squirm. He never knew the Ghost King was so ticklish. "You know it wahahasn't!" "You're so ticklish, death boy. Who knew the big bad son of Hades could be brought down with just a few pokes?" "Fuhuck off!" Leo smiled and leaned down to blow a sloppy raspberry on the skinny and pale tummy, earning a slew of high-pitched laughter and squeals from his victim. His fingers continued to dance along Nico's ribcage, peppering smaller raspberries here and there. "NAHAHA NO RAHAHASPBERRIES!" "Aweee, but raspberries are my favorite! Tickle tickle, Neeks!" Nico absolutely melted at the playful teasing, trying and failing to pull his arms down, instead opting to hide his face in his arm. A bright red blush made itself known on his face despite his attempts to hide it. "Awe, you're blushing now too? How cute can you get?" "Quihihit ihihit!" "Okay, okay, one more thing." Leo took a deep breath and blew one last, torturous raspberry directly over Nico's belly button, eliciting bright and bubbly laughter from the other. "YOHOHOU ASS!" Leo laughed and stopped his attack, rolling off the son of death and letting him regain his bearings and some dignity. "You are- You are awful-" "I know."

✿◉●•◦𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍◦•●◉✿ ✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. Thank you for your request! •.¸♡𝚝𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒 𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚖𝚊 𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚊 𝚝𝚎♡¸.•

[crescent-witch]

it rains in hell (and angels could be bad)

ship: demon!wanda x angel!reader

summary: wanda wants to watch you squirm.

warnings: dom!wanda, sub!reader, praise, degradation like once, worship/religious kink, corruption kink, pet names, magic restraints, double-sided strap-on, slight spanking, temperature play if you squint, a little bit of mean wanda, wanda in her emo era | MINORS DNI

word count: 1.5k

a/n: this is possibly one of my favourite fic ideas I’ve ever written.

You bounced on the balls of your feet, softly humming as you glanced around yourself. You were a bubbly, giggly ball of sunshine. It was hard not to be, given what you were. It’s rare that you meet a grouchy angel. You couldn’t contain your smile if you tried, an excited grin spread across your face and you waited.

“You seem excited, Angel,” you nearly squealed when you heard the voice behind you, but you knew better than to turn around and face her. “Any reason?”

You giggled as you felt Wanda come up behind you, her heated hands running up your arms as the soft feathers of your wings brushed against her.

“Nuh uh,” you shook your head with a small smile on your face, excited to play her game once again.

“No?” Wanda questioned, her hands drifting down to the swell of your ass. You gasped when she gave it a harsh smack, the ruffles of your dress swaying from the impact. “You weren’t waiting for me?”

“No, was just standing here,” you said, trying to maintain your innocent facade and not melt into her.

“Oh, princess,” Wanda huffed, a pout on her face as her spare hand began running up and down one of your arms again, the other supporting your lower back. “And here I thought you were looking forward to seeing me.”

Wanda was suddenly pushing your back, throwing you forward until your knees hit the soft, yet solid, clouds beneath you, like a giant pillow. Your hands hit the clouds, catching you before you fell flat on your face as Wanda circled you like a predator.

“How cute,” Wanda cooed at you, tilting your face up to look at her, cupping your cheek in her hand. “Perhaps I should get you a little leash and collar set.”

The thought made you whimper. The idea of Wanda dragging you around on a pretty leash, knowing Wanda probably a pristine pink or white colour, did nothing to stop the growing wetness in your underwear.

This was the first look you had gotten at Wanda in months and, unsurprisingly, nothing of her appearance had changed. She still wore the same style of clothes, black and red and leather. Her brunette hair still hung messily around her face, surrounded by a pair of twisting black horns growing out of her skull. You could see her glistening fangs poking just out of her mouth, grazing her bottom lip with their razor-sharp tips, and you longed to have them sinking into your neck. Or your thigh. Or really anywhere Wanda could find.

You yelped as Wanda’s hand pulled back and connected with your cheek, snapping your head to the side. It wasn’t the hardest slap Wanda had ever given you, not by a long shot, but it certainly pulled you out of your thoughts.

“You’re thinking too much, Angel,” Wanda tutted, soothing the already growing red mark on your cheek with soft strokes. “Need to knock all those silly thoughts out your head, huh?”

You nodded, nearly sticking your ass up in the air for her as excitement overtook you. Wanda chuckled, noticing the way your eyes lit up at her words.

“Aw, little lamb, I bet you’ve been so desperate the last few months. You’ve just been waiting for me to ask you to meet again, huh? So eager for me.”

She wasn’t wrong. Most of your days since the last time you had met with Wanda was spent waiting for her to summon you again to fuck you raw and senseless. One of Wanda’s many rules was that she decided when you would see her and where. You didn’t get a say in your meetings, and you were expected to come running every time she beckoned you. It wasn’t fair, but you were far too hopelessly devoted to her to notice.

“Go on then, Angel. Have your fun,” Wanda said, lifting up the skirt of her dress to reveal a long red strap dangling from between her legs. It was both yours and Wanda’s favourite, long enough that every stroke had you gagging around the toy, and what Wanda called your ‘special treat’ being pumped out when she finished.

You moved to sit up on your knees, the tip of Wanda’s strap nearly touching your lips, and as you did so you felt light tendrils wrapping around your wrists, tugging them behind your back. Restraining you was a common thing Wanda used her magic for.

“Come on, sweet girl,” Wanda urged you, hand reaching out to hold the back of your head, fingers absentmindedly playing with strands of your hair.

You wrapped your lips around Wanda’s strap, taking the tip in your mouth and sucking harshly.

You’re cheeks hollowed out from sucking as Wanda pushed herself further down your throat, breathing through your nose as she had taught you, but it did little to minimise the gagging noises coming from you.

“Fuck, so good,” Wanda breathed, the top end of the strap moving instead her, wiggling agaisnt her walls as your mouth moved up and down it, tongue lathering the faux cock in saliva as drool dripped down your chin.

“Such a perfect little Angel,” you looked up at Wanda with large eyes, throat bulging, stuffed full of dick as more of your innocence dripped away, like water down a drain.

��Imagine if your God could see you right now,” Wanda chuckled and your eyes widened as Wanda referenced the shunning you were sure to receive if anyone ever learned of your sins. “On your knees for such an unholy creature like me, servicing me, head full of sinful little thoughts.”

You knew the chance of actually being caught by anyone was slim. You and Wanda met on the brink of heaven and hell, a sort of no-mans land where God could not touch or oversee and you knew no other Angel would dare to set foot. But shame still overtook you as the thought made you clench your thighs together, the image of one of your fellow Angels, who saw you so pure and full of light, caught you on your knees for a demon, pleasuring her in the most wicked of ways.

“No hiding, pet,” Wanda tutted when she noticed the way your thighs pressed together, kicking your knees apart wide with her heavy boots, putting your drenched white panties on display for her. “Look how pretty, is this all for me?”

Before you could even attempt to nod or choke out an answer Wanda’s boot cruelly landed a kick directly on your cotton-covered clit, causing you to scream out around her strap, eyes watering.

“Sensitive little thing.”

The kicks continued as Wanda forced your lips to remain around her strap, brought down on your clit and folds and thighs again and again until your thighs were aching and your pussy was stinging and dripping with need for the demonic woman.

Wanda was quickly approaching the edge, her hips bucking and pushing her strap even further down your throat as she moaned for you. Your hands came to rest on the back of her thighs, steadying her as her legs began to shake and knees buckled.

“Shit, I’m close!” She cried out, fingers now woven into your hair and gripping hard, nearly pulling your hair from your scalp at her roughness. “Make me cum, slut. Fuck. M-make me cum and I’ll give you a nice little reward.”

Your efforts increased in fervour and the promise of being rewarded, nose touching the soft skin of Wanda’s stomach that her dress was hiked up above, as the strap was pushed all the way down, the bulge prominent in your throat as you gagged and whimpered.

“Oh. Just a little bit more, that’s it,” Wanda told you, hips stuttering as she began to lose control and suddenly her load was being shot from the end of her strap, her real cum coating her end of the strap and leaking out of her, milky white substance running down her thighs.

Her moans began to cease as she squeezed the strap, emptying every last drop of fake cum down your throat, laughing as she watched the way you struggled to swallow it all coming to quickly, some of it spilling out of your mouth and flowing down to spill on your dress.

“Oh no, baby love,” Wanda said with mocking sympathy as she yanked the strap out of your mouth.”Your pristine little dress is all ruined.”

You pouted as you looked at the light stains left behind by the demon’s release, coating the bodice of your dress.

“Looks like you’re gonna have to face God with your dress soaked in your sins. Unless, of course, you want to turn up in heaven stark naked.”

Your eyes widened in fear, terrified at getting cast out of heaven for such a simple mistake, but Wanda shushed your fretting quickly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll fix it, Angel,” she promised, hand returning to gently stroke at your hair. “But for now, wouldn’t you like your reward?”

You nodded, reluctantly letting your fear go as you stared up at the goddess of a woman above you.

“Good girl. Hmm should I take you in your ass or that soaked little pussy?” She chuckled warmly, the kindest you had ever heard her, as your looked up at her with excitement and eagerness. “I wish I didn’t have to send you back to that awful ‘paradise’. But at least when you face God again, you’ll remember who you really worship.”

[august-anon]

PUNishment

TickleTober 2022, Day 5: Punishment

big news guys i actually slightly edited this one! just barely! not very much at all lol

-----

Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins

Ship(s): Alistair x Warden (F)

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Warden/Ler!Alistair

Word Count: 1063 words

Summary: The Warden insists that she doesn't find Alistair's jokes funny. He knows how to change her tune.

[ao3 link]

---------------

“I know you think I’m funny.”

The Warden smirked, poking at the fire with a stick. Being on watch was boring, and Ferelden was damn cold. “And what ever would lead you to that conclusion? Could it be the eye-rolling? The scoffs?” She gasped. “Perhaps, could it be, the fact that I tell you that you’re not?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a smirk stretching across Alistair’s face. Never a good sign. “You think I can’t see you forcing down smiles, huh? The way you turn away and cover your mouth to hide the fact that you want to laugh?”

She turned to face him fully. “I think you’re imagining things. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep these days? Maybe you should head to bed, I can handle watch on my own.”

Alistair pouted at her. “You laughed at my jokes when I gave you the rose,” he mumbled.

The Warden pursed her lips, hoping the orange firelight hid the way her cheeks were likely going red. “A momentary lapse in judgement, that’s all. I was lost in the moment.”

Alistair sighed, an almost wistful sound, and turned his own gaze back to the woods surrounding their little clearing. “I really rose to the occasion that time, didn’t I?”

The Warden fought to keep her lips pursed, though her prodding of the fire did falter. She cursed herself for giving Alistair even that foothold.

“I thought it was a rather sweet moment for our budding romance, wouldn’t you agree?”

The Warden exhaled heavily through her nose, rolling her eyes as Alistair scooted even closer to her on the log, but she couldn’t help the slightest twitch of her lips.

Alistair chuckled, reaching around her back so he could poke mischievous fingers into both of her sides. She squirmed, trying to dislodge him, and only succeeded in squirming closer to Alistair. It absolutely was not on purpose.

“I know you want to laugh,” he taunted in her ear.

The Warden tried to wrestle down her smile, rather unsuccessfully, and shoved at his hands. “I’ll laugh when you actually say something funny,” she said, her voice wobbling.

“You know, I’ve always been able to tell when someone’s lying just by looking at them.” Alistair switched from his teasing pokes to spidering up and down her sides, trying to reach as much as her ribcage as he could with her slamming her arms down in defense. “I can always tell when they’re standing, too.”

The Warden sputtered out a small, strangled laugh, the puns having weakened her defenses to the tickling, and the tickling having weakened her defenses to the puns. Really, she thought it was quite unfair, especially when that smug look spread across Alistair’s face.

“I knew you thought I was funny!”

“You stupid cheat!” She giggled, making half-hearted attempts to defend herself. “Your jokes are shit!”

Alistair gasped. “You take that back!”

She squeaked as he tweaked her hip, jerking in his hold. “Make me!” She said, like an idiot.

“Oh, I’ll make you, alright.”

The Warden did her best to put up the appearance of a struggle, as if she actually minded Alistair’s hands all over her, making her giddy and giggly and nervous in the best of ways. They were such rare feelings to come by these days, far be it from her to deny the both of them this luxury. She just hoped her ensuing laughter didn’t wake the rest of their companions. They’d never hear the end of that.

“But you’ve always been a stubborn one, haven’t you? It could take some time.” Alistair continued as he leaned in close, and the way his fingers slowly crawled up her ribs, trying to force their way underneath her arms, made her tense as she tried to squash them back out again. “Do you think if I wound up tickling you to death, I would be charged with murder, or manslaughter?”

The Warden scoffed, even through her laughter, trying to hide how it pitched up at the horrible joke. Without thinking, she reached up to shove his face away from hers, a well-practiced habit whenever he decided to tell these jokes while residing in her personal space.

Except, that seemed to be exactly what Alistair was waiting for, because he quickly slipped his fingers up to the Warden’s upper ribs, scratching away at her weakest point ruthlessly. She clapped her hands over her mouth as she let out a shriek, cackling into her hands as her body desperately tried to escape the feeling.

“Alistair!” She cried out, the following laughter still muffled by her hands.

“Yeeeessss?” He asked, drawing the word out as long as he could, his voice horribly teasing.

She shook her head, knowing that anything she tried to say would be broken beyond recognition due to her laughter and her hands. Alistair had mercy, switching to spidering up and down the backs of her ribs, as if that was any better.

“Something you wish to say, my dear?”

“I’m sorry,” she burst out, the words disjointed from her continued laughter and squirming. “I’m sorry, I love your jokes, no matter how stupid they are! You’re funny, I promise!”

With a fond chuckle and a few last tweaks to the Warden’s sides and hips, Alistair relented and pulled away. The Warden slumped against him with a giggly sigh, trying not to feel too disappointed that she’d ended their fun so soon. If Alistair had kept that up much longer, though, she was sure to have woken someone up, and she didn’t need to spend the next several days of travel putting up with their friends’ teasing, no matter how fond it was.

“Someone’s looking a bit rosy,” Alistair murmured, brushing a thumb across her cheek. “Are you feeling bouquet?”

The Warden snickered, deciding to give in – just for the night. She turned, burying half her face in his shoulder. “Though my embarrassment stems deep–” she ignored his crow of delight– “I’m doing just fine, thank you.”

Alistair hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Good. I would hate to be charged with manslau–”

The Warden pushed Alistair off the log, laughing at his disgruntled expression, though he quickly joined in. Needless to say, the rest of their companions had plenty to tease them for over the coming days of travel.

[celestialmango]

I just wrote a water based apocalyptic at prompt where the world flooded, reader survived on cobbled together boat, doesn't know about the sea monsters that are now in the water (because not fantasy world) till Sun finding them, octopus boy, only has octopus mouth, reader is panicking but Sun is like, hey this object is cool and one of those strange little creatures is alive in it.

Then reader runs, Sun stops for a sec to eat a squid, halts your boat with his tentacles and swallows it, but he keeps it in his throat, he's stretchy but size of boat make things awkward, he swims weird which embassies him in front of his bro when he heads back to his part of the den, spits your ship out, you're hiding and Sun tries to spot you, gets hungry, leaves, comes back and sees Moon about to snap your boat in half, gets mad and chases his bro off.

Too much damage to the ship, starts to sink, you have to run to top deck, Sun instant picks you up with a tentacle and you both just kinda watch like (☉︵☉) as it snaps in half as it sinks, looks for a place to put you.

there a nice size cliff that sticks out of the water, places you on it and dives to retrieve your boat pieces, sets them on the shelf and tries to stick it back together, obviously just as upset about your broken boat as you are. To you, your ship is broken and alot of important to you things got ruined, to him his curiosity just cause you to lose your little home and feels bad about it because in hindsight he could have just followed you till got to tired to run anymore.

He can't fix it, head to desk only desk is cliff, you're surprised the sea monster acts pretty human and shows no interest in eating you. Shoots up with angry eyes an goes off to fight/challenge Moon, Sun wins, now Moon has to give him something return, Sun wants Moon to replace your boat or bring things to fix it, he broke it after all.

Sun stays with you because he doesn't trust his bro not to try and eat you again, he was right to do so because when Moon brings junk back he makes and attempt only Sun is faster, wraps a tentacle around you and covers your mouth and nose then jams you as far as he can down his throat, right into a little pouch he tends to keep snacks in.

Pretends he's not panicking while lecturing his bro due to feeling you suddenly slip deeper, Moon leaves, Sun panics because he just lost you in his digestive system, starts poking himself from outside it to try and find you while mentally chanting "please don't be in my stomach, please don't be in my stomach" finds you in his abdomen near his stomach, not in it but him his larger storage pouch next to his stomach. Is relieved he found you but pokes kinda hard to make sure you're alive, the squirming you do as a reaction makes him happy because that means definitely still alive.

Only he hasn't used that organ since childhood so he doesn't remember how to retrieve things from it, is upset again and feels guilty because now not only has his curiosity broken his ship, but he's accidentally trapped you inside himself.

You'll be fine till he figures out how to get you out of there because can use magic to link your functions together so you won't suffocate, starve or get dehydrated.

Basically big curious goof does an accidental entrapment.

Watched Jack play Far: changing tides and that spawned the idea in the first place.

[brandyllyn]

Flexibility (noun)

Poe Dameron / f!reader [no use of y/n]

Summary: Making Poe’s dreams of sex in an X-Wing come true. Alternatively: The things we do for those we love. Even if it means pulling a muscle.

Part of the "Goofballs in Love" Series of One-Shots: The Scoundrel’s Reward, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Flexibility (noun), Give me my sin again, Writing on the Wall

My Masterlist

Words: 3k (Read it on AO3.) [complete] Rated: Explicit Warnings: language. PiV sex. fingering. bruises.

"This is the worst idea you have ever had."

The metal of the X-Wing was cold against your back, Poe’s body in front of you warm against the cool night air. He had one hand on your hip, the other playing with the edge of the skirt you had put on for the occasion. His face nuzzled into your neck and you felt more than heard him laugh.

"Well that’s not even close to true."

You snorted, wrapping your fingers in his curls and pulling his mouth back to yours. "Ok then Flyboy, let’s get this going before I change my mind."

The grin he gave you was boyish and wide, grabbing your hand and pulling you over to the ladder. He took the steps quickly, glancing back at you a couple of times before he lifted the edge of the transparisteel and slid into the cockpit in one smooth movement. You paused, staring at him and then at the cockpit controls.

"Are you sure that it won’t…?"

Poe nodded, holding his hand out. "Half the engine is scattered across the hangar. Even if it was powered up it’s not going anywhere."

You took his hand and let him draw you towards him, saw him press his lips to your knuckles. You eyeballed the cockpit dubiously. "Poe, there is no way-"

"Yes there is," he cut you off, flattening himself against the nearly vertical seat. He gestured between his thighs, "Right here."

It was maybe eighteen inches of space between his chest and the flight controls. Maybe. But that wasn’t even the first problem. You leaned in, searching the cockpit for somewhere to put your feet. His hands were instantly around you, pulling you down before you had a chance to get any leverage and you tumbled face first into him, one of your knees landing on his thigh, the other leg still hanging out the side of the X-Wing.

"Oof, Poe!"

He groaned, trying to shift your weight and you felt a muscle in your leg pull in a way that muscle was never intended to.

"Poe stop, Maker I-"

"If you don’t move we won’t be having any fun for at least a week," he grunted and you suddenly realized that maybe your knee had landed higher than you thought. You braced your arms on the side panels, lifting and twisting your body until you were sitting in his lap rather than kneeling in it. It wasn’t comfortable. At all. One of your legs was bent between the two of you, sideways against his chest with your knee under his chin. The other leg stretched over his shoulder, ankle high in the air behind his headrest. The flight controls were digging into your back and you clutched at his shirt to relieve some of the pressure.

"This is-" you started but he cut you off.

"Sexy as hell."

Your eyes flew to his but he wasn’t looking at your face. He was looking at where your skirt had fallen back and he could see that you’d taken his advice and gone without underwear. You squirmed, trying to get comfortable and Poe helped. Well, "helped." He pulled at the leg pressed to his chest and maneuvered you until both your legs were over his shoulders.

"Oh yeah," he moaned, still looking down at you and you arched your back away from the control stick digging into your spine. He made a soft mmph noise, one of his hands sliding around to tuck between you and the offending object.

You huffed, letting your head and body fall back, forcing him to catch your weight with both arms. You could hear him laugh but you were staring up at the hangar ceiling. "Well? What now Flyboy?"

He pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee, his breath warm and tickling. "This is not exactly how I imagined it."

You either. Bent into a 'v'-shape in the cockpit of the X-Wing, your feet poking up into the air behind his head. "Really?" you asked, still limp across his arms, staring upwards. "This isn’t the sexy good time you were dreaming of?"

"Come on," he patted your ass, "let’s get your legs under you."

You grimaced, lifting your head finally to glare at him. "Close your eyes."

His brows drew together, "Why?"

"Because this is not going to be attractive and I don’t want you watching me while I do it."

"Honey I-"

"Close. Your. Eyes," you said it more forcefully this time, biting off every word and glaring at him. He dutifully closed them, the corners of his lips tilting upwards and if you could reach his face you’d kiss it off of him.

Groaning you gripped the edge of the cockpit, pulling yourself forward. You didn’t quite have the strength to lift yourself but Poe was there, hands cupping under you and pushing you upwards until you could get the leverage you needed to hold yourself up by your arms. One of your feet pressed to his shoulder and you heard him grunt but ignored it. This was his fantasy, he could deal with the mechanics of making it happen.

Glancing around, you propped your foot on what you hoped wasn’t an important control panel by his left elbow. Finally having some stability, you pulled your other leg towards you, but there was no comparable panel on his right, just smooth steel.

"Dammit," you mumbled, crouched and barely holding yourself up on your hands.

"Just put your knees by my hips," he offered and you glared at him. He couldn’t see it of course, he was being good and had his eyes closed.

"There’s nowhere to put my knees, your hips take up all the space."

He frowned, "Don’t make fun of my hips, you know I’m sensitive about that."

Rolling your eyes you managed to wedge one knee between him and the side of the X-Wing, hearing him grunt at the sharp pressure. "I’m not making fun of them. I’m stating a fact."

You took a deep breath and sent a prayer up before you made your next move. Lunging forward you managed to wrap your hands around the headrest, pulling your chest close to his. You still had one knee up by your ear, your foot propped on the panel. His eyes opened when he felt the seat jerk, his arms wrapping tight behind your back.

"Better?" You asked, one eyebrow raised.

He looked down at the awkward crouch of your body and you saw his lips twist into a smile. Then his face scrunched up and he started laughing even as he drew you close for a kiss. He tasted like joy and Poe and you loved it.

"Okay," he finally said after a minute, leaning his forehead against yours. "Maybe I didn’t think this through."

"No no," you corrected, shifting your weight slightly, "this definitely works, I think I just need to…" you lifted your right foot off the panel and quickly shoved your right arm under it and grabbed his bicep. It was even more uncomfortable but the bark of laughter the new position brought from Poe was worth it. "See?"

"Stop," he nuzzled his nose against yours, "you’re going to hurt yourself."

"Oh that ship has long since sailed," you muttered, wrenching your arm back out and trying to find a contortion that wouldn’t send you to the MedBay.

"Maybe if you face the other way?" He asked hopefully and you gave him an incredulous look. "What? I’m just saying that it might work better."

"You are lucky I love you," you grumble. "Okay, hold me up while I let go of the headrest. Otherwise I’m going to impale myself on the flight controls and good luck explaining that."

He laughed, arms tightening around you and you let go of your death grip on the seat and placed your hands on the sides of the cockpit again. Using your grip and his steadying hold you managed to lift yourself and lean forward.

"Oh this is nice," his muffled voice came from between your breasts.

"For you," you mumbled under your breath, pushing off with your foot and twisting so you were sitting on the edge of the cockpit, feet propped up across from you. Your knee caught the side of his head as you settled and he made a harrumph noise.

"Remind me to wear my helmet next time," he griped.

"Do not even start with me Poe Dameron," you cautioned, stopping for a minute to catch your breath, fingers rubbing at the bruise you knew you were going to have on your thigh.

His hand came up immediately to the same spot, soothing his fingers over it. "Honey, we don’t have to-"

"No," you cut him off. "I said I’d try and by the Maker I will. We will try every way your little heart can think of and when none of them work you never ask me again."

You could tell he was trying to hide his smile this time and you took a steadying breath before you twisted again, sliding down his chest and settling into his lap, your back to him and your feet propped up on the control panels. Your knees were bent awkwardly in the air but at least it was a normal amount of awkward.

"See?" he murmured into your hair. "This isn’t so bad."

It wasn’t actually, not that you were going to admit it. But you could already see the logistical problems in your future. "Yeah, this isn’t going to work either."

You could feel him pout, his hands cupping your breasts under your shirt. "Why not?"

"Because nothing is lined up."

"Just put your-"

"Poe I swear if you use the word 'just' with me one more time…"

He was quiet for a moment. Then he coughed, "I was going to say if you leaned forward a little?"

I love him, I love him, I love him. You repeated the mantra over and over as you searched for a way to wedge your feet around his legs, finally managing to gain some purchase. The flight controls dug into your stomach when you leaned forward and rested your forearms against the control panel. It wasn’t comfortable, not even a little - but you tilted your hips, arching your lower back, and suddenly everything did line up. You could feel it.

His hands tugged at your skirt and you felt the cloth sliding across your skin before it came loose and you were bare against him.

"Oh yeah," you heard him groan. His fingers wedged between you, trying to unfasten his pants. "Can you move forward-"

"No," came your short reply. "There is literally nowhere for me to go. I mean that."

"Not even-?"

"If I move any further forward I’m going to be riding the flight controls not you."

A beat of silence.

"That would-"

"No," you cut him off, glancing over your shoulder with a glare.

He looked utterly unrepentant. "It was just a thought."

"What did I say about that word?"

He was thankfully silent, his hands on your hips. You tried to ignore the sharp jutting presence of the flight controls in your stomach, the toggles and switches that were going to leave marks on your forearms from having your weight rest on them. You heard him heave a sad sigh.

"Should have taken my pants off before you sat down."

"Oh now you’re thinking about the mechanics of this."

He pinched your hip and you squirmed. Then, in the saddest voice you’d ever heard from him, "I guess this isn’t going to work."

You hung your head for a moment, the controls shifting slightly to jab into your abdomen. Then you huffed a breath of air.

"You’re going to have about six seconds to get your pants open. Can you do that?" You barely waited for his reply before you lunged forward, fingers scrambling across the control panel for purchase, lifting yourself just a few inches off of him. The flight controls were hard against your pubic bone, and it probably wasn’t even six seconds before your fingertips gave out and you fell back into his lap with an oof.

One of his hands was still there but he managed to wriggle it around a bit. You could feel his nose nuzzle your spine through your shirt. "One more time for me?"

"I hate you," you mumbled, trying something different this time. Finding something you could press down on and lift yourself up rather than forward.

"You love me," he corrected, hand stroking along your backside and helping you lower yourself more slowly, taking his cock one inch at a time. "You fucking love me and I am eternally grateful for it."

It still wasn’t comfortable. But you were used to discomfort. That was part of being at war. Hells you’d even been shot. You could take some annoyances and discomfort for the man who was making the most amazing little noises behind you. Grinding his hips up into yours. One of his hands groped your breast under your shirt, the other trying to guide you against him. But all he succeeded in doing was rubbing the edge of the flight controls into you.

"Poe, this isn’t-" you started and he froze, his cock twitching inside you.

"What is it?"

You pulled his hand forward, turning it so he was covering the edges of the controls with his palm. That was better. Still like being slowly punched in the gut when you rocked back on him a little but at least it didn’t hurt. And you could tell he appreciated it too, his fingers pinching your nipple and his forehead falling to your back.

"Are you going to be able to-?"

"Not on your life." A huff of laughter and then a groan when you tightened your muscles around him. "But that’s fine by me. This is all for you."

"You’re so mmph good to me."

"Just remember this the next time I want you to wear something special for me."

"I’ll, fuck, I’ll wear anything you want," he promised. His breaths were coming faster, small grunts escaping him while he made what little movements he could in the cramped space. A sudden thought occurred to you and you arched your back a little more, letting him sink deeper.

"Black Leader…" you drew the words out on a breathy sigh.

He froze, his hand on your breast gripping almost painfully. Then his hips rocked up hard and you felt the breath get knocked out of you. "Fuck say that again."

"Fuck me Black Leader." You moaned it this time. Every part of your body might be aching and sore, but between your legs his cock was magic.

"Never gonna be able to fly again," he mumbled into your shirt. "Crash every time I think about this." You bit your lip and squeezed down, flexing every muscle you had on him. His answering groan filled the cockpit. His body was hunched over yours, "This is amazing. Fuck, you’re amazing."

"Black Leader you feel so good inside me." You cooed the words at him, purposefully making your voice low, breathless.

"Fuck I’m going to come." His breath fanned across your spine, hot and harsh even through the material of your shirt.

"Come for me Black Leader," you groaned and he did, hips pushing into yours, forcing you into the cockpit controls. You were going to have bruises for days and every one was worth it for the way this man held you and came inside you. Shuddering his pleasure into your body.

You both felt and heard his body fall back into the seat, leaving your back cold. Carefully, you shifted your position, pushing off the control panel and moving back. You felt him slip out of you then slide wetly along your ass when you leaned back and settled your head on his shoulder.

"If only this seat reclined," you sighed and felt him laugh when he wrapped his arms around you.

"If we’re going to make wishes, I wish this damn flight control was removable."

You glared down at the offending object, sticking up obscenely from between your spread thighs. A bubble of laughter spilled from your lips and you felt him doing the same, reaching up and turning your head to kiss you. You darted your tongue out to his lick his lip and then jerked in his arms when his hand lifted your skirt again.

"Poe…"

"What?" he asked, all innocence, his fingers unerringly finding your most sensitive places.

"Nothing," you sighed. "Don’t stop."

"I wouldn’t dream of it," he whispered into your ear. "You’re so good to me, you know that?"

You smile, raising your arms and settling them on the headrest behind him. "I think I might have heard something like that before."

He chuckled as he lifted your shirt, cupping your breast even as his fingers continued to tease between your legs. "Hmm? And have I told you today that I love you?"

"You know," you shifted slightly and gasped, "I don’t think you have."

He kissed your neck, fingers stroking with sure rhythm between your thighs. "I love you."

"I love you t-" your voice broke when you came. You heard his satisfied groan behind you, felt him press his face into your neck while you rode his hand through your pleasure.

You didn’t move when you came down, just lay against him and enjoyed the soft brush of his fingers on your breast, your stomach, your thighs. He stroked you lightly, occasionally stopping to run his fingers over the marks and developing bruises from where you had been pressed to the controls. He murmured apologies into your ear, so low the words rumbled through you and you sank back into his embrace further - convinced you could fall asleep like this.

His voice broke into your gentle reverie. "Now how do we get out of here?"

Giggling, you didn’t bother to move. You figured out how to get in. He could figure out how to get out.

[shyficwriter]

Epilogue to: You Are So Screwed

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x the Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Life after the gang found out that Terrans are ticklish.

Author’s Note: This is an epilogue to You Are So Screwed. I recommend reading that story first if you haven’t yet!

Word Count: 1,486

Epilogue:

It didn’t take long for the others to find opportunities to torment you and Peter with their newfound trick.

Mantis would often sneak up behind and startle you with surprise tickles for no reason other than she just couldn’t get over how adorable you were when you giggled and squirmed away.

You were on the receiving end of this more often than Peter, however. Probably because you couldn’t find it in yourself to actually yell at her for it. She was never merciless and her tickles were always brief and light hearted, so you supposed you could get over it.

Rocket, on the other hand, was truly evil.

As would be expected, Peter was the first to make the mistake of calling Rocket a raccoon in a fit of frustration only a few days after Rocket learned about his new Terran weakness.

You watched on as you saw Rocket’s expression turn from angry to one of smug mischief. He gave Groot a look which Groot seemed to understand.

Peter didn’t even have a chance to notice what was happening, much less get away, before Groot extended his vines and had him pinned down on the ground. Rocket wasted no time and immediately dug in, reducing Peter to squealing laughter in no time at all, all the while taunting him with “Not so tough now, are you Star-Munch?!” and “This will teach you!”

Peter let out a particularly loud screech when Rocket dug in under his arms which prompted Gamora and Kraglin to come running to see what was the matter. When they came to find that Peter was only being tickled by Rocket they merely rolled their eyes and laughed. Peter cried out for one of them to please get the “Rabid Raccoon” off of him, but of course this only made things much worse. Rocket doubled his efforts in his attack stating that Peter was going to really get it now.

Kraglin and Gamora laughed harder at this and walked away, leaving Peter to his squealing torture until eventually Rocket had his fill, ending the torture by making Peter beg for mercy and promise that he’d never call him a raccoon again. At the end of it Peter was completely breathless and decided to just curl up and take a nap right there on the floor. You quickly but quietly backed out of the room before Rocket remembered you were there, just in case he got any ideas.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the next day it was clear Peter was really getting the short end of the stick.

Word got around the ship that Gamora found out the hard way that tickling Peter first thing in the morning to force him out of bed probably wasn’t the best idea.

Sure, it seemed effective in waking the Terran man up from a stubborn sleep, but that didn't mean that there weren’t consequences.

After Peter refused to wake up, Gamora straddled him and attacked his ribs, quickly getting his attention. It didn’t take long for him to begin pleading for her to stop. However, Gamora decided not to stop right away. This ‘tickling’ thing was quite intriguing, and she knew he was only whining out of annoyance, right?

Wrong.

It quickly became a new guideline that morning that if the Terrans start whining that they need to pee, you’re definitely going to want to stop tickling them. Because reasons.

For obvious reasons Peter didn’t really want to talk about it. In fact, he didn’t really talk to anyone at all that whole morning.

A few days later after the whole embarrassing incident with Peter had been pretty much forgotten, Gamora, Drax, and yourself decided to hop in the Benatar to go on a supply run with Peter. The rest of the team decided to stay back on the quadrant ship.

You managed to forget to bring your book, so to stave off boredom you decided to create a little mischief to occupy yourself. You filled your time with throwing random small objects at Peter (quickly turning away each time as if you hadn’t done so), and forcing bad puns into conversation. This lasted about an hour before Drax stood up and walked over to where you sat still strapped into your seat.

“You are being annoying.” He said, matter-of-factly, strangely without a hint of annoyance to be found anywhere in his voice.

“Yes?” you raised an eyebrow, unsure where this was going.

“It’s still a confusing matter, but if I understand correctly, I should do this to make you stop.” He grabbed your arm by the wrist and lifted it up over your head.

You were momentarily confused, but it quickly became clear what he was up to when he began spidering his fingers in your underarm.

You squealed and squirmed in your seat, trying to push his tickling fingers away, but of course Drax is literally the strongest on the ship, you stood no chance. He didn’t even have to try. “Drax! Quit it!” you giggled, your feet kicking against the metal floor of the cockpit. “No fair!”

Drax turned to Peter. “Am I correct, Peter? You Earthers use tickling if someone is annoying? Like a mild punishment?”

“Close enough.” Peter laughed.

“Peter says this is fair.” Drax said, now laughing with you as he continued.

"Peter!” you whined, busy grabbing Drax’s wrist and attempting to push his hand away. For someone who didn’t understand tickling, he was surprisingly good at it. You were doing your best to slide down your seat to get away from your torment, all the while your heels still scraped the floor as you kicked out and laughed.

Drax let go of your wrist and moved to tickling your ribs.

You squeaked and squirmed more, too preoccupied with attempting to grab his hands to try and unbuckle yourself to get away. Drax smiled. He thought he could see now why everyone else thought this was so funny. You looked absolutely adorable with the way your nose crinkled and your eyes squinted shut.

“Drax! Wait! Please! Haha! PETER!” you squealed, doubling over as best you could with your seatbelt and giggling adorably.

After a few more moments Peter finally decided to show mercy. “Alright, Drax. I think she’s learned her lesson.” he laughed.

Drax relented and returned to his seat to strap in for landing, leaving you to catch your breath. “I think I see now why everyone else enjoys that so much. It’s adorable,” he said.

As far as Yondu and Kraglin were concerned, because they had already known about it, the novelty had already worn off years ago. Therefore, unlike with the others, you and Peter were generally safe around them when it came to the increased random tickle attacks you were now receiving upon the rest of the gang’s discovery. Though they did occasionally throw more pokes and rib tweaks you guy’s way now just to be annoying.

However, that’s not to say that Yondu had forgotten what Mantis had told him about how she had felt that despite your threats, you and Peter didn’t actually hate being tickled that much. He secretly started using it almost as a reward at times, if you or Peter had just finished helping him with something, he’d give a brief playful tickle to your tummy or the back of your necks while teasingly praising you for “doing such a good job.” You’d always playfully swat him away and Peter would do the same, though usually acting more cranky because he’s “a grown man, dang it!” and  “too old for that! Geeze!” He didn’t know what Mantis had told Yondu, but even if he had, he likely wouldn’t admit it in a million years, because again, “he’s too old for that!” Sure, Peter. Sure. 

One day after you helped Yondu with something in the kitchen and he playfully tickled for your good job, you laughed out, “If I did such a good job why do you always tickle me after!”

He gave you a knowing grin and tickled you some more, saying. “’Cause Mantis told me another secret. You and Peter might make threats and complain, but apparently ya’ll ‘don’t completely hate being tickled’ after all.”

Your face got red as you managed a “Shut up. Quit it!” through your giggles.  Yondu laughed, able to tell the change in your color wasn’t wasn’t from your own laughter.

“I’ll take that as an admission.” He chuckled, ceasing his attack on your belly.

You straightened up, face still blushed and lightly punched him in the arm.

“Don’t ya worry,” he said, pulling you into a side hug. “This one can stay between us. Ya don’t gotta be embarrassed about it.”

“Promise?” you asked, still blushing.

He grinned, pulling you tighter into the hug for a moment before surprising you with another brief tickle to your tummy, eliciting a happy squeak from you. “Ya, promise.”

[nightshade-minho]

-Caught-

Warnings: arranged marriage au, cheating, unprotected sex, lingerie, possession kink, marking kink, hate sex, nipple play, degradation, light bimbofication, oral (f. receiving), fingering, tying up, panty gag, kinda bratty reader, hyunjin cameo, implied threesome.

Wc: 2.2k

Seungmin knows you hate him. How could he not? The excessive eye rolling, the light scoffs- it was extremely obvious, almost painfully so.

His eyes ran over your glowing face, staring out of the window. Your eyes seemed to sparkle more than usual today, and he found himself putting down his fork momentarily to follow your gaze. The clatter of steel forced you back into the present though, and the light in your eyes was gone almost immediately as you looked back at him.

Silence.

You scoffed for the millionth time today, resuming your meal as Seungmin chanced a glance out of the window, wanting to see what had captivated your attention so intensely.

A tall man, standing on the deck with a tray in hand as he served the sunbathers lounging on their chairs. His hair was long and blond- his lips possibly the plumpest Seungmin's ever seen on a guy.

There it was again, that familiar rush of jealousy. How could you? Why were you so focused on a mere waiter when you had him? Someone who was willing to take care of you, give you everything you could ever want?

You stabbed a piece of meat, trying your best to avoid Seungmin's eyes as your heart thuds. He'd noticed. The question's going to come any second now...

"Do you know him?"

You snorted. "So what if I do?"

"You do realize you're my wife, right?"

"Oh, let it go. This marriage wasn't our choice, and you know that. I can do what I want."

"That doesn't change the fact that-"

Oh, fuck it. This was the final straw. Why did he have to keep doing this? Couldn't he just keep his mouth shut for a second, and let you live your life? It was bad enough that you had to spend it with him.

You stood up, gritting your teeth. "I'm going to my room."

"Our room-" He called out as you stormed out of the ship's restaurant, sighing. He looked back at the half eaten steak on his plate, ignoring the weird stares and curious whispers of the tables around him.

He could feel his anger boil up. It wasn't his fault, was it? So why the fuck were you acting like it was?

Seungmin still remembers your childhood together. Your families had known each other since the two of you were 5, up until he moved away in middle school.

The Y/n he's married to is nothing like the Y/n he'd known and loved. But...you were still under there somewhere. He just had to try his best to bring that out.

Three knocks.

Seungmin waited, the stretched silence making him raise his fist again. Before he could, he heard rustling sounds inside. He straightened as you opened the door, smiling widely.

"Oh you're finally here, Hy-"

Seungmin's glare wiped the smile right off your face.

"S-Seung-"

"Shut it." Seungmin couldn't believe his eyes. There you were, clad in dark lingerie, your hair tousled beautifully. You looked breathtaking. The cruel reality that this wasn't for him seeped in soon enough, though.

He felt his anger grow, unable to take it any longer. Enough was enough.

Pushing past you, he made his way into your room, scrutinizing eyes running over the bottle of wine and condoms laid out on the bed, along with the rose petals.

"You've gotten bold, huh? Planning to fuck another man in our hotel room? How stupid can you be?"

"I thought- I thought you'd be at the bar-"

"You thought? I don't think you even know how to do that, darling. Empty little brain. All it wants is cock, yeah?"

"N-no..." You swallowed, backing up against the bed as you wondered why you weren't feeling any frustration at your plans being ruined. No...his anger was turning you on, somehow.

Seungmin shook his head, walking closer to you. He leaned in, making sure his eyes were level to yours.

"I'm your husband, Y/n. We haven't kissed yet though, let alone fucked. Why is that?"

"B-because you're vile. And I hate you." You snapped, not wanting him to know the truth. To be honest, you were afraid having sex with Seungmin would make it impossible to deny how much you wanted him...yes, you still hadn't forgiven him for leaving you, but that didn't mean his presence didn't make you feel fuzzy to this day.

"I know you hate me, love. That doesn't explain why you're pressing your thighs together right now." He smirked.

You opened your mouth to protest, nothing coming out. Ugh, he'd caught you. Yet again.

"I hate you." You blubbered out, unable to think properly as Seungmin moved forward, body pressing against yours as the backs of your knees hit the bed.

"Getting a little repetitive there, baby."

You stayed quiet, letting him push you onto the bed, your back colliding with the mattress as he hovered over you.

"You really made an effort, hm?" He mumbled to himself, his fingers tracing over your sides as you squirmed.

"Yeah, not for you though." You said abruptly, accidentally letting out a groan as he snapped the waistband of your panties against your skin, the delicious sting spreading throughout your body like vines.

"Of course. For the blond, right?"

"Yeah." You said, smirking as he traced his fingers lower, over the lace of your panties and dangerously close to your clit.

"How long have you been fucking the bastard?"

"Since we got on this ship? Thrice." You shrugged nonchalantly, enjoying the anger flaring up in Seungmin's eyes.

He shook his head, index finger circling your clit teasingly, not giving you the stimulation you craved. A few more seconds of this torture, and you started growing even more impatient, bucking your hips lightly and letting out a frustrated groan.

"Ugh if you're going to fuck me, do it already! Hyunjin would be well on his way to making me cum by now."

Seungmin grinned, leaning in extremely close to your ear. "I'm not Hyunjin, sweetheart." The whisper was filled with malice, and dread rose up in your stomach as you tilted your head to the side. His voice sent tingles of pleasure down you, the raspy quality of it soaking your panties.

“I’ll let you cum when I want to.” He murmured, moving down to press a kiss to your clit. You whimpered, a hand coming down to grip his hair as he placed his hands on your thighs, spreading them apart. 

Seungmin slid your panties to the side, humming at the sight of your drenched folds. “Fuck, you want this so bad, don’t you?” He ran his finger up and down your slit, collecting your arousal and holding it up for you to see.

“Tell me, who’d you get this wet for?”

You were planning to lie. Yet, as Seungmin leaned back to pull his shirt off, all you could think of was how he’d feel inside you. 

“You.” You grumbled, the truth tumbling out, much to Seungmin’s delight. 

“That was quick.” He smirked, breath ghosting your pussy and making you needier. “I thought it would take a little more work to get you to admit it.”

He left a kiss on your folds, the contact making you squirm. “Fine, since you’re so good, I’ll give you what you want.” A second later, his tongue was nuzzling your slit, poking it in, causing you to arch your back in white-hot pleasure.

Seungmin moaned against you, reaching up to tweak your nipple, ripping a whine out of you. Ah, he was so, so good at this. But you couldn’t let him know that, now could you? For the sake of your pride, at least.

“Is that all you’ve got? Tsk, it’ll be midnight before I get to cum, I guess.”

A wry chuckle against your pussy lips, as he pressed his fingers to your entrance, sliding his digits into your tight heat. “Shh, I won’t hesitate to gag you with your panties, love.”

You grumbled, the sound transitioning into a choked moan as Seungmin started thrusting his fingers into you, lips wrapped around your clit. 

“You like that?” He asked, nibbling your clit lightly. You groaned loudly, tugging at his hair as harshly as you could to try and get a rise out of him.

Seungmin pulled away, glaring up at you. “You’ve got some nerve.” He pulled out his fingers, the wet squelch igniting something within him as he sat up, sliding off the bed to go over to his wardrobe. You whined at the loss of contact, watching him as he found a tie, coming back to you.

“I’d love to be able to tie you up completely, but I don’t have the patience right now.” He growled lowly, grabbing your hands and holding your wrists together before tying them. He made sure the knot was tight.

Another whine, this one longer and needier, purposefully designed to infuriate him. He rolled his eyes, sliding your panties off your legs quickly and bringing them to your mouth.

“Fucktoys don’t deserve to be able to use their voice.” He whispered, frowning when you shook your head firmly, sticking your tongue out at him.

“What are you, five?” He asked, scoffing as he pinched your nose out of nowhere, causing you to open your mouth to be able to breathe. As soon as he did, he stuffed the material into your mouth, making you let out a defeated groan.

You whimpered around your gag as Seungmin kicked his pants off along with his underwear, discarding them onto the floor. 

The sight of his cock, long and pink with a gentle curve, was mouth-watering. You tried not to let your eagerness show as he spread your legs again, fitting himself between them.

He slid the tip of his cock up and down your folds, smirking down at you as he slowly plunged his cock into you, the stretch inducing a low, muffled moan to bubble out of you.

Soon, he was thrusting into you, beginning to set a consistent pace. He groaned, the sight of your pleasure-stricken face provoking him to go faster. You mewled softly, clenching around him as he rammed into you, his heavy cock hammering your sweet spot right away. 

"Yeah? How does my cock feel, baby? Better than...fuck, better than his?" He asked, his hips driving into yours repeatedly.

You couldn’t help but nod, wishing you could throw your arms around his neck and pull him closer. Seungmin’s lips parted in a moan, and you found yourself wishing you could feel them pressed against yours. Ugh, you were a mess of emotions. For now, you were ripped back to reality as Seungmin slipped the straps of your bra off your shoulders, pulling your breasts out of the cups. His fingers ran over your nipples, making them harden in front of his eyes as he continued to pound into you.

You were close. So, so close. You clenched around him, trying to let him know that you were about to cum. Seungmin arched his neck, one hand coming down to grip at your waist, moving you to meet his thrusts.

“You gonna cum, baby?”

You nodded, eyes closed tightly as Seungmin leaned down to suck on your neck. “Fuck. You’re mine, you know that?” He snarled, biting at the smooth skin as he left another mark, lower than the first one. “Gonna mark you up so well. Make sure everyone knows you belong to me, and only me.”

His words drove you closer to the edge, the pleasure building as Seungmin licked at the shell of your ear, his voice low. “My slut, to use as I please.”

That was the final push you needed, as you came hopelessly, unable to scream like you wanted to. Your legs shook as Seungmin continued slamming his cock into your pussy, mumbling about how tight and perfect you felt.

Suddenly, a heavy knock sounded throughout the room, causing you to snap out of your post-orgasm daze.

Seungmin's hips stilled as the knocking on the door resumed after a few seconds of silence. You looked up, exhausted senses trying to register the sound.

"Y/n?? It's me, open up!" 

The sound of Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to the present, your eyes widening. Seungmin turned back to you, a breathless chuckle falling off his tongue as he sat up, still inside you. "Oh baby, looks like your little booty call's finally arrived."

Exhausted, you couldn't find it in yourself to reply, your head falling back onto the fluffy pillow. At this point, you didn’t really care if he was mad at you. Your pussy was still throbbing, wrapped tightly around his cock. Besides, you loved his anger.

"Y/n, we haven't got much time, my break ends soon."

Seungmin sighed, pulling out of you slowly and standing up to go over to the door. Confused, you sat up. Before you could fully process what he was about to do, he'd already opened the door.

Wait-

"Oh, hey. Hyunjin, is it? I'm Y/n's husband. You wanna join me and play with her a bit? Don't worry, I don’t mind sharing my toys once in a while."

HAPPY SEUNGDAY!

[missmooncakes]

Seasick.

[Kimetsu no Yaiba]

[One-shot]

[warning: crack]

[Demon slayers/Hashiras x Reader]

On order of Ubayashiki, all of the Hashiras, besides some, were required to travel to a specific destination; fastest way was through the ocean. However, they were accompanied by kakashi and a few younger demon slayers, including a demonic sister.

Their transpiration was a large wooden ship; filled with more than necessary essentials for the journey.

“Uwah!” Tanjirou stared, excitedly as the waves would thrash violently amongst one another,”I’ve never gotten the chance to see the ocean before! It’s so pretty!” Tanjirou was more use to just seeing mountains and trees so it was a delight to finally see what he thought would only be in the books.

He glanced over to see Zenitsu prodding at the box that strapped snug against his back and saw Inosuke bending over the ledge of the ship, yelling.

“I am the God of the Forest! I will conquer you, God of the Waters!” He was attempting to chop at the waves.

Tanjirou frowned,”God of the Forest, huh..” His attention was pulled from the screeching boar from a tug on his green kimono. The mist pillar stood next to him with a lazed expression.

“Where is [Name]?” Muichiro asked,”She told me that if I helped load supplies to the ship, she would play with my hair. I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Ah, [Name]—“ Tanjirou took a quick scan of the boat. Most of the Hashiras were either wondering around or in their designated cabins,” Maybe she’s in her room?”

Muichiro shook his head,”Her room was empty.”

Tanjirou rubbed the back of his head,”I can help you go look for her.” He set his crate down near Zenitsu,”Zenitsu, watch Nezuko for me.”

“I would love too, Tanjirou! I’ll protect this crate with my life!—“

Muichiro and Tanjirou already began to explore the deck. They’ve knocked on other Hashiras’ rooms, asking if they have seen the Moon Hashira.

They’ve first attempted to ask Genya. He was at the front of the ship, lounging and basking in the sunlight.

“Ha? I don’t know where she went. Last time I saw her she was talking to my brother. I think they might be in the sparing room. I’ll let you know if I find her though.”

Muichiro and Tanjirou arrived to the sparring room which was at the back of the ship.

“Coming in,” Tanjirou announced as he slid the door aside, only to see a wooden staff fly forwards him,”ACK—“ he yelled in pain as the mist pillar grabbed his hair and yanked him towards the floor. The wooden staff embedded the wall behind them.

Muichiro stood up to stare at the pole,”Master will get mad about that...”

“Sorry.” Giyuu apologized, unfazed. He looked over to his sparing partner,”Sanemi got too heated up and tried to impale me with a stick.”

“WHY YOU!—“ Before Sanemi could attempt to turn Giyuu inside out, Tanjirou slid between the two and asked,

“Have you seen [Name]? We’re trying to look for her.”

“[Last Name]? Last time I saw her, she was in the kitchen. It’s her turn to cook tonight. She’s probably preparing something right now. NOW SCRAM.” Sanemi hissed before shoving the two younger demon slayers out and shutting the door,”Okay, you piece of shit. I’m going to use this stick to beat you so hard that your ass goes up your—“

Tanjirou quickly went downstairs with Muichiro to head towards the kitchen. He placed hand on Muichiro’s shoulder,

“Don’t worry, we’ll find [Name].”

Muichiro was in a moment of a daze as he stared down the hallway with a dozed off expression,”I wonder if [Name] can make me some of those cookies I like.”

When they entered the kitchen, the only residing Hashiras were Mitsuri and Kyoujurou. Mitsuri was digging through a few crates to possibly look for any sweets as the Kyoujurou stuffed his face with rice, loudly exclaiming how tasty it was. He noticed them when they walked them.

“Tanjirou, my boy! Do you want a snack? It’s really tasty!” The Flame Hashira exclaimed, setting down his plate to look at the Kamado.

Tanjirou shook his head,”No, we were wondering where [Name] is.”

“[Name]?” Mitsuri’s voice was muffled as a big bun was shoved into her mouth. She headed towards them before swallowing the entire thing,”She was here earlier but she said she had to see Shinobu real quick. But she’s been gone for a long while.”

“Should we go look for her, then?” Kyojurou asked as he stood up. Mitsuri nodded,”We can check with Shinobu! She’s probably in her room right now. Why don’t you two asked Obanai?”

Tanijrou frowned a bit, recalling that Obanai wasn’t a big fan of him nor the moon pillar,”I suppose we can... but I rather check on Shinobu myself.”

“Let’s all go together!” Kyojurou said before dragging them all back up the stairs to all the rooms.

••••••••••••

“[Name] isn’t here!” Shinobu exclaimed. Everyone sulked.

They literally searched the entire ship. Along the way, they dragged Inosuke and Zenitsu along but still no sign of the [hair color] haired Hashira.

They didn’t dare bother Obanai since he was asleep in his cabin nor Uzui since he was taking a very long ‘flamboyant’ bath.

“Where is she?”

•••••••••••••

At this point, everyone was looking for [Name], aside from the sound Hashira who was still doing his own thing. Obanai was woken up so... enthusiastically by the Flame Pillar. Kyojurou had to get his cheek bandages due to the snake biting him in the face when he kicked the door down.

“[Name]!”

“[Last Name]!”

“Wait, what if she’s in the water?” Zenitsu suggested.

All of a sudden, there was dead silence.

It was so quiet, one could hear a needle drop if it wasn’t for the loud, violent crashing of the waves.

Then, havoc broke out.

Nearly all of the Hashiras had scrambled to all edges of the boat in desperate attempt to find [Name].

Tanjirou nearly went into panic as he watched all of them draw out their swords. Everyone was now yelling or aggressively scanning the waters as desperate attempts to spot the Moon Hashira.

“I can evaporate the entire ocean! Maybe we can find her quicker!” Kyoujirou quickly stood on the ledge of the ship, hand at side, ready to whip out his sword.

“No, that’s not realistic!” Zenitsu yelled, trying to pull the man down before he could fall off the ship.

In the background, Genya was trying to drag his brother away from the edge; he was elbowed in the face and now on the ground, holding his face in pain.

Shinobu and Mitsuri were on the other side of the ship, leaning over the edges, calling out [Name]’s name. Obanai had left to find Uzui to get him to help find the loved Hashira.

Tanjirou was too occupied with Inosuke who had straight up dove into the water. The poor Kamado was throwing a rope into the water to try and fish his friend out. He was only pulled in to the waters, too which lead Muichiro into panic to jump in as well.

The door which lead to the main deck had slammed open. “What the hell is going on?” Uzui was not in a good mood. Obanai trailed behind him.

Tanjirou heaved in exhaustion as he managed to pull both Inosuke and Muichiro out of the waters,”Uzui! We— We are trying to find [Name]!”

Uzui’s angered expression slowly melted into a ‘done’ expression,”You.. You are all idiots.”

“HAH- What did you say?” Sanemi hissed, marching towards the taller man, leaving Genya to be dragged across the floor. Kyojurou walked over to them,”Uzui! Do you know where [Name] is? We believe she’s in the water since we looked all over the boat.”

The sound pillar pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. “Have you ever bothered to look up?”

They took a moment to glance up.

“Can [Name] fly or something—“ Zenitsu was knocked out by Uzui punching him in the stomach.

“No, you fucking idiot!” Uzui was ready to throw everyone off the boat. He walked over to the large wooden pole that had the large, white sails strapped to them. About half way up the pole was the crow’s nest. It was hardly noticeable. He climbed the ladder that was attached to the pole to get into the crow’s nest.

When he poked his head into the entrance, the first thing he noticed was a light blue haori decorated of blue petals placed over the head of the missed demon slayer.

It was [Name]. She was curled and pressed against the side of the wall on the floor.

“Oi, [Name]!” Uzui said as he gently pulled her haori off of her head. He recoiled back in surprise to see how sick she looked. Her face was green and definitely looked dizzy.

The sound pillar felt worried. He climbed further to sit on the surface next to her,”Oi, [Name], you alright?”

Her only response was a soft groan. He couldn’t help but just stare in awe. She looked cute when she was sleeping.

He gently brushed his hand against her face, brushing the sweated strands of hair away from her forehead,”Well, it’s not at all flamboyant for you to be up here and not looked at.” He stood up, slipping his arms under her legs and head. He lifted her up and looked down at the other demon slayers who waited below him.

Most of their jaws were dropped.

How did no one check that area?

As Uzui was ready to carefully make his way down the mast of the ship, a large wave slammed into the side of the boat, jolting him.

“Oh shit—“

He tripped and fell against the side of the crow’s nest, fumbling the Moon Hashira, then she fell from his grip. [Name]’s eyes snapped open as she squealed. When she braved herself for impact, she felt herself fall into another pair of arms along with a soft grunt.

Everything around her spun. She absolutely hated the ocean. She knew the moment she stepped onto this boat, she was in for a hell ride. Thus, she had camped in the crow nest of the mast for nearly the entire day. When she opened her eyes, she met eye contact with darken blue eyes.

Giyuu had caught her.

[Name] felt herself grow warm just from the close contact,”Thank you, Gi—“ Her hand flew towards her mouth. She quickly squirmed out of Giyuu’s grasp much to his dismay. She threw half her body over the edge, gagging.

However, she didn’t throw up since she didn’t eat all day. She couldn’t bring herself to go to the kitchen. She was way too sick too. She felt a couple of hands rub her back in some sort of comfort. From the corner of her eye, she could see Kyojurou next to her and Shinobu on the other side.

“We should take you to my room, [Name]. It’s where you won’t feel the ship move as much.” Shinobu suggested,”And I can probably make you some tea to help calm down the nausea.”

“I think we should take her to my room instead, it has a large window and the fresh air is nice.” Muichiro said as he came up behind her.

“My bed is the softest! She needs to comfortable, so she should recover in my room!” Kyojurou declared.

All the hashira began to argue where [Name] should sleep. Tanjirou watched from the sides, befuddled why the Moon Hashira couldn’t just sleep in her own room.

“She doesn’t need the sun, it gives her a headache, my room would be better.” Obanai argued,”And I have Kaburamaru to watch over her too.”

“I have a softest chest she can cuddle into!” Mitsuri declared. All the Hashira went silent for a moment and stared at her.

“[Name] should just sleep in my room! She doesn’t need to deal with you dumb asses!” Sanemi yelled.

“Why would she be in a room so shitty and not flamboyant-“ Sanemi proceeded to punch Uzui in the face. It was now an all out brawl between the two.

Well, until one of them had slammed into [Name].

She gasped was sent over the ledge and into the raging waters with a loud splash. Now was a time time for everyone to freak out.

Giyuu immediately went over the ledge after her. The last thing she saw was Giyuu’s outstretched hand trying to grab her before she submerged into the sea.

Giyuu landed into the area near where she fell, however, he didn’t see her head go back up. He felt the anxiety as he desperately called out her name. He heard someone plummet into the waters next to him. Sanemi gasped as he lifted his head back above the waters,”Damnit, where did she go?! [Name]!”

The Wind Hashira felt another body slam onto the top of his head,”S-sorry, aniki!” Genya apologized as he literally landed on top of his brother.

“Genya, you little shit—!”

As Sanemi proceeded to try and attempt to drown his brother, Giyuu continued to try and look for [Name]. It didn’t take long to notice strands of [Hair]-colored floating up at the surface just a few feet away from him.

He paddles towards the direction and manage to pull [Name]’s upper body up and out of the surface.

[Name] gasped and sputtered. She grasped onto Giyuu’s mismatched haori. She felt his arms wound around her and pull her upwards so she would rest a bit against his chest. She felt Giyuu gently brush the wet strands of hair from her face. [Name]’s posture stiffened as she felt herself go flustered. Before Giyuu could hear anything, more yelling was heard from above.

Giyuu and [Name] looked up.

Rengoku had launched himself from the ledge and into the air; Tanjirou was latched onto his leg, screaming as Rengoku boasted about joining the fun.

“FIGHT ME, GODS OF THE OCEAN.” Inosuke screeched, being the next demon slayer to throw himself overboard.

“You stupid boar! Come here!” Zenitsu tried to grab the beast before falling himself.

“Iguro, Iguro! Let’s join too! This looks like a fun swim!” Kanjiro grabbed the Snake Hashira’s arm and jumped into the ocean, holding the poor man like a rag doll.

Everyone was basically yelling in the waters.

“This is quite a show.” Shinobu laughed as she walked up next to Uzui as he was shaking his head. Then, the commotion stopped.

It was silent.

“Did everyone just die?” Uzui silently muttered as he peered over the ledge. The scene below made him choke.

[Name]’s back was pressed against Rengoku and still squished against Giyuu, rendering her movements. Obanai was nearly on top of Giyuu, his weight slamming Giyuu downwards.

Giyuu’s face would have been in the water, however, it was pressed against [Name]’s farce.

An accidental kiss.

The two hashira fell silent, wide eyed and staring at one another.

Everyone was staring. The atmosphere went cold.

Slowly, Giyuu pulled away from the moon hashira. He stared at her, the look of shock still residing on his face.

“[Name], I—“

.

.

.

“YOU SLY PIECE OF SHIT!” Sanemi yelled as he slammed his elbow on top of Giyuu’s head, shoving Obanai into the water during the process.

“Sanemi, Sanemi! You’re going to drown him!” Tanjirou panicked only to get punched in the face as well.

“If we have to see who is the best in these waters, I will show you!” Kyoujirou shouted as he managed to throw himself over all three men.

[Name] felt Genya gently take her into his arms since he was smart enough to not get involved with the whole fiasco.

[Name] could see Inosuke punching at the waters, hitting Zenitsu in the process.

“Does this mean I won’t get my hair brushed?” Muichirou muttered as he stared at the bundle of demon slayers having an all out brawl in the ocean.

[thatsadbietch]

A War Hero’s Cry (Persona 5/Royal)

Warning for some possible spoilers.  Nothing super important to the main plot but still, here’s the warning!

A/N: This is my very first P5 piece, I’m excited to share it! I love writing and want to get better at it, so I’m very open to suggestions or comments!

Warning for mild cursing.

Ships: None

Word count: 2,455

---

These were the types of mornings that kept him going.  The mornings where he didn’t have to shuttle into a cramped subway, only to arrive at his destination and listen to lectures about various topics on which he’d studied before.  It was also a time between targets, to play it safe and just wait for another shitty adult to show their true colors so their Palace and Treasure can be claimed by the Phantom Thieves.

These mornings, where Ren could enjoy the peace and tranquility that came with a skillfully made cup of coffee, the smell of curry preparation for the day’s customers, and the sound of Sojiro humming while he worked.  These mornings are where he draws that cool and collected mentality required to be the leader of such a talented group of thieves.

He inhaled, taking in all the sensations around him, but was slightly startled by the sound of the bell’s chime, signaling a customer.  Perplexed, as the store hadn’t opened yet, he turned to find Futaba wondering into the café.  He exhaled and grinned, able to tell right away she’d just woken up: her amber-orange hair was still disheveled from sleep and her eyes were still drowsy looking. Not to mention she strolled in with her slippers and a pair of plush-looking pajama pants, black with green stars printed on them.  They suited her.

She slumped up on the stool next to Ren and yawned in place of her usual loud and energetic “Good Morning!” while she rested her head on the bar.

“Well,” Sojiro started, not bothering to hold back a chuckle at the scene, “Look who’s decided to join us among the living.” Though teasing, there was a type of sincerity there that gave away the warmness he felt for his adopted daughter.  She groaned groggily in response, pulling her hood up over her head and face.

“Long night?” Ren asked casually.  He enjoyed Futaba’s company regardless; he’d grown fond of her quirks and eccentric nature, and became something of an older brother figure to her.  But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t grateful that she was still calm and quiet at the moment.

“Mmmhmm…” she groaned in response.  Ren nodded and took a sip of his coffee, counting down mentally, “Three…two…one…” Sure enough, on “one” Futaba lifted her head, hood still lazily hanging onto the top, and she began to explain.

“Well last night I got bored, so I started browsing the Phan-site and looking around for potential targets and was trying to find out more about the mental shutdowns, but then I got a Discuss app notification from my Herd of Heroes team asking if I wanted to help them in a tournament.  Of course, I couldn’t just leave them, my strategy and expertise are the backbone of the team! So…”

Ren and Sojiro shared a knowing smirk.  Classic Futaba.  Sojiro shook his head in mock exasperation.

“Staying up all night isn’t healthy, you know,” Ren began, “You ought to think about fixing your sleep schedule.  For your sake and for your teammates, both on and offline.  Are you listening?” He asked, poking her side to make sure he had her attention.  But now she had his and Sojiro’s, as neither expected the high-pitched squeak she made.

Ren chuckled and raised an eyebrow.  “What was that?”

Futaba looked a lot more awake, now that her eyes were widened, almost panicked.  “N-Nothing! You just startled me, that’s all.  Don’t you know its rude to pick on people, especially when they’ve just conquered ten different Herds of Heroes? I’m a war hero!”

“You’re also a pain sometimes,” Ren teased, poking at her again and eliciting the same sound.

“Ren, quit it!” Futaba whined, wrapping her arms around her sides for protection.  But she was so preoccupied dealing with Ren’s antics, she didn’t notice Sojiro make his way around the bar and behind her stool, placing his hands threateningly on her sides.  She was already trying to hold back the titters that began bubbling up.

“Futaba, you’ve been kept up in your room so long, I forgot you were ticklish,” Sojiro started, swiftly willing his wiggling fingers up and down her sides. She couldn’t offer much resistance as she immediately burst out in giggles and tried to grab for his wrists.

“NOOHOHO, SOHOHJIROOHOHO!” Futaba whined, not being able to say much else. She helplessly cackled and tried to push his hands away, doing an awful lot of squirming in the process.

“I remember your mom telling me she’d chase you around the house sometimes,” he recalled.  While telling his story he wrapped his arms around her middle and held her back against is chest, both to better trap her in his ticklish hold and to ensure she didn’t fall off the stool.  Using this new leverage, he scurried lightly over her small belly and belly button, causing a shriek, another noise neither had heard from her.  Ren figured his peaceful morning was over at this point and just embraced the silly nature the room had adopted.

“SOHOOHOJIEHEROOHOO DOOHOHON’T!! BWAHAHA!” She continued to cackle and writhe while he nonchalantly continued his story. Ren could tell Sojiro was rather enjoying his position right now.

“You’d ask her to play so many times in a day, and when you wouldn’t let up she’d run around the house with you until she finally caught you. Then… she’d get you!” he finished, adopting a slightly more sinister tone for emphasis as he quickly shot his fingers up to the poor child’s underarms, switching rapidly from fluttering teasingly and vibrating his fingertips there. She jumped and squealed, but was unable to do much else in his hold.

“NOHAHAT THEERAAHEHEHAA! SOJIEHEEHAHA!” Futaba couldn’t even beg properly anymore as she threw her head back onto his shoulder, trying desperately to squirm her way out of his grip. “D’you have a strategy for getting out of this one, war hero?” Sojiro teased, causing a deeper blush on Futaba’s already reddened face.

“SOOOHOHOJEEEOROO, I CAHAHN’T!!” Not long after that did Sojiro let up, but held her still for a beat or two.  Again, to make sure she didn’t fall.  Futaba breathed rapidly and leaned back on Sojiro, who will never admit how much his heart swelled at the act. He chuckled again and released the child, ruffling her already messy hair.

Ren wasn’t quite sure what to do besides sit on the sidelines and watch the commotion unfold.  His own parents, while supportive and caring, were never really physically affectionate toward him. He couldn’t recall if he even was ticklish.  But he chuckled contently.  “So, about being a war hero…”

“YOU! Don’t even say anything! YOU started it and DIDN’T BOTHER TO HELP ME! Some leader you are!” Futaba exclaimed, clearly regaining her energy as she stood quickly and drilled quick and relentless pokes to his sides.  She’d only expected to get her point across but was so much more pleased when Ren sharply inhaled and flailed to keep her hands away from him.  Well, that answered his question.

“Mwehehehe… Perfect!” She snickered evilly.  Ren jumped back from his stool and realized he was cornered: Futaba stood between him and the front door, and the increasingly mischievous glare from Sojiro wasn’t at all comforting—it was clear he had no intention of helping Ren out of this.

Suddenly, the Phantom Thief leader did the unexpected: turned and fled up the stairs.

“HEY! Get back here, coward!” Futaba called after him, but wasn’t as fast, especially since Ren could easily climb two stairs at a time.

“I might be able to maneuver my way back down the stairs and out the door,” he thought, being sure to give himself some space as Futaba reached his room. Though he had the upper hand in skill, Futaba looked determined, almost as much as when she’s in a Palace.

“I’ll show you a war hero!” she declared, and lunged for the teen, who dodged her with relative ease. But it happened quickly: one minute he had a clear path to the stairs, and the next he was turned around with his arms pinned to his back.  Sojiro chuckled.

“I didn’t think the leader would be so predictable, but Futaba read you like a book.  I bet her team would be lost without her,” he commented.  “And don’t look so surprised.  I used to be with the Feds, remember? Catching runners just comes with the territory.” Ren swore there was some giddiness in Sojiro’s voice, he must be having fun with this. But the boy didn’t struggle against him.  In wit and leadership, Ren might have the upper hand. And he was strong, too, from all the training with Ryuji and previous missions. But in pure manpower, and given the position we was in, he hadn’t a chance against Sojiro.

“Hey, you’re being awful quiet for someone who just got captured,” Futaba remarked, getting Ren out of his head and back to the moment; the moment Sojiro lightheartedly pushed the boy onto his couch so Futaba could pounce and begin her ticklish assault, starting strong by pushing up the hem of his shirt and scurrying her fingers on his bare stomach.  Ren gritted his teeth, trying not to let out the giggles that were bubbling up. He went to grab at her wrists, only for Sojiro to grab his first and pin them over his head, allowing the redheaded tech-wiz full access to his torso.

“Damnhihit!” Ren muttered, trying to break Sojiro’s grip.

“Was that a laugh, mighty leader?” Futaba teased, sticking one wiggling finger in his belly button.  Ren inhaled sharply again and arched his back reflexively, ironically giving Futaba better access to the sensitive area.  But he shook his head violently and groaned to cover any indication of escaped giggles.

“Yeah, THAT’S convincing,” Futaba said with an eye roll, changing tactics by pinching along his sides until she reached his ribs.  The moment her fingers swiped along his bottom ribs, he twisted and struggled, trying desperately to throw her off of him.  But with her straddling his thighs and Sojiro holding his arms, that was not going to be an easy feat.  

“Well? Was it a laugh? Is the feared leader of the Phantom Thieves ticklish?”

“Doohoohn’t Futaba!” He muttered, unable to keep his giggling completely at bay anymore while he felt his face heat up in forming a blush.

“Now I think that was a laugh,” Sojiro teased, encouraging Futaba to go in for the kill.

“Dahahamit, let mehehe go, old maahan!”  Ren said.  Out loud. He did not mean to say that out loud.  He was trying so hard not to laugh that he didn’t (or rather, couldn’t) think, and the words just fell out.  Futaba stopped tickling and both children looked to Sojiro.  He just looked blankly at Ren, and took both his wrists into one hand.

“Oh ho, you’re about to get wrecked!” Futaba exclaimed giddily, waiting for Sojiro’s move.

“Sir, I didn’t mean that, I’m sorrEHEHEEHHEE! NOOHOHHOHAAHAHA!!”  With his free hand, Sojiro curled and wriggled his fingers into the teen’s rib cage, and the dam holding back Ren’s giggles burst into a loud, unhindered belly laugh. Neither Futaba nor Sojiro had ever heard their quiet and composed LeBlanc tenant laugh, not like this, and they both chuckled: it seemed it was contagious.

“S-STOOHOHOP LAHAHUGHING AT M-MMEEEHEHE! AHH! HAHAHA!” He begged, and screeched in surprise when he felt Futaba pinch and scratch his bottommost ribs on the side that Sojiro wasn’t absolutely tormenting.  

Sojiro switched up his methods a bit, now vibrating his fingertips in the space between Ren’s ribs and underarms, earning another shriek. “I can’t believe this guy is the one everyone’s fussing over.  He looks pretty harmless to me!” The caregiver taunted.  Ren shook his head, as if fighting the ever-darkening redness from appearing on his cheeks.

“So our fearless leader can be taken down with a couple good tickles, I see. Mwehehe, wait until I tell the others~” Futaba teased, and raked her nails from his ribs down his sides, and scurried them haphazardly all over his bare belly. Ren threw his head back in renewed cackles, his heels digging into the couch behind the sadistic girl.

“NOOHOO, DOHOHOHON’T T-TELL TH-THEEHEHEM! AHAHACK! SOJIHEHERO, I CAAHAHN’T AHAHA!” Ren begged as his guardian released his wrists, only to quickly attack the hollows of his underarms, kneading and vibrating in the region, and making the raven-haired boy go into hysterics, if he wasn’t already. He clamped his arms down quickly, trapping Sojiro’s hands.

“Well now my hands are stuck here.  I guess I’d better make the most of it,” he taunted further, snickering at the continuous stream of boyish laugher he was eliciting from the usually stoic kid.

“DOHOHN’T TEHEHEASE MEEHEEHE, PLEEHEEASE, NOOHOHOHO!”

“Oh, now he’s learned some manners!” Sojiro responded spiritedly. Futaba relented finally, figuring her request for revenge had been satisfied. Plus, Ren looked like he could use a little mercy right now.

“Ya know, you look kinda cute like this! Maybe if I can get a picture, or a video!-”

“DOHON’T YOU DAHAHARE!”

“I know they would enjoy this dirt I’ve got on you!”

“IHEHE’LL EHEHEND YOOHOHOU!”

“Ya know,” Sojiro started, “you aren’t in any place to be making threats. Or to be calling me old, only I can do that.”

“I SAIHEHED I’M SORRYEHEHE!” Ren spat out, his laughter starting to go silent. Sojiro chuckled again and finally released the teen from his grip.  They watched as Ren greedily gasped for air and rubbed his eyes to find he’d been crying mirthful tears.

“I guess I’m sorry too, I think I got carried away there.  You all right?” Sojiro asked, motioning for Futaba to get off of his legs.  He nodded, still breathing heavily, but starting steadying.

“Futaba was right, you are kinda cute like that,” Sojiro teased, and the teen covered his faced and groaned, followed by a muffled “I am NOT.”

“Don’t go pouting, you’re still in a pretty vulnerable position,” Sojiro replied, offering a quick poke to his side, causing a jolt and a lighter giggle. The guardian looked at his watch and sighed.

“Great, Ren, you made me late for opening up shop,” he muttered, but there was no malice behind it.

“Oh yeah, gotta open the doors for your daily swarm of customers,” Futaba commented half-heartedly.

“Hey! I have my morning regulars, young lady.” Sojiro retorted. “You need to watch your tone.  You saw what happened to the last guy that had something smart to say.”  Ren groaned, and finally sat up, looking at the other two people occupying his room.  He watched them continue their argument as he shook his head in exasperation with a grin.

[alderaani]

ba'slanar

for @commandercodyweek day one: bonds. i’ve gone with the subprompt “cody bonding with his brothers”. title is mando’a for ‘leave, depart, exit’

summary: They’ve been preparing for this all their lives, this parting. Every moment has been leading them here, to this night, their first victory. But his brothers are all he knows. | also on AO3

warnings: swearing, alcohol (but v mild)

-

The white tiles are cool under his bare feet, but it’s not why he shivers. Everything has a surreal, dreamlike quality to it, even though to all intents and purposes, Kamino looks as it always has. Deep in the night like this the lights are turned down low, just enough to see by as they stumble out of their pods and huddle, giggling, in the corner of the barracks. Someone shushes the group while snorting a laugh, someone else pushes them and yet another brother squirms, yelling in a whisper that something tickled. Maybe it’s not Kamino that has changed, but his place in it. The thought makes goosebumps prickle all over his skin.

Kote presses up against the locker he has commandeered and looks up at the rows of closed pods, at the ceiling, so high up. He feels like he’s floating, dizzy, even though Wolffe’s arm is heavy round his shoulders and Bly’s legs are draped obnoxiously over his knees. Fil’s head is pillowed against his shins and Blitz is on Wolffe’s other side, gesticulating wildly as he talks. It seems impossible that this is his last night in this room, in these halls, on this planet, despite the alien heft of the medal on his chest, where it has been burning a brand into his skin through armour and cloth all evening, ever since his trainer pinned it there and smiled razor sharp at each of them. In the moment, that seemed like the most impossible thing of all. 

Bly scoffs something in his ear and leans over, their medals clinking where their sleep clothes brush. They’d laughed at him for pinning it back on the wrong side earlier, and he’d just shrugged and laughed with them, saying he’d moved it over to make room for all the others he’s going to win out there. It’s a strange thought, Bly fighting on campaigns Kote will never see, other brothers defending his six. They won’t argue that his strategy is too reckless or bicker over the placement of his troops, will just snap to attention and carry out his orders as Captains ought. The thought makes something ache in the centre of his chest.

“- Kote will back me up,” Wolffe is saying, and Kote jolts when he sticks his fist into his ribs. “Won’t you?”

“What?” He asks, smirking when Wolffe rolls his eyes. “If this is about that Holonet star then I already told you -“ 

Wolffe jams his fingers back into Kote’s side, harder this time, making him wheeze through a laugh. 

“No. Fuck you, I was askin’ if you agree that Nala Se looks like the back end of a Rancor.” 

Kote grins, tipping his head back so he can savour Wolffe’s embarrassed scowl. He’s gonna miss causing that every day. 

“Mm,” he says, pretending to roll the thought through his head. “Like she’s smelt one, maybe.” 

Bly shifts and leans across him so that he can poke at Wolffe with his foot. “Why you thinkin’ ‘bout her anyway? This time tomorrow we’re never gonna have to see her again.”

The thought makes Kote’s stomach clench, an odd mixture of excitement and fear curdling inside him. He knows how to break down his emotions, to identify and compartmentalise and sort them before putting them aside, tools to be utilised when necessary and flaws to be inhibited when not. They all know the cautions off by heart; an untidy mind is weakness. An untidy mind is death. All them have stood in solitary at some point repeating the words when they’ve let their feelings get the better of them. 

Usually, he finds that speaking the emotions and admitting they’re there is enough to dispel them. His trainers label him level-headed. His brothers call him underhanded, or other much less complimentary things. He’ll take either. But today, just the knowing can’t take his feelings away. They’ve been preparing for this all their lives, this parting. Every moment has been leading them here, to this night, their first victory. But his brothers are all he knows. It sours the sweetness, turning it bitter, like the little green fruits they’d found and tried eating on survival training. 

“More’s the pity,” Wheeler says, where he’s similarly buried under a pile of brothers. “I wanna show her. Wanna be the cause of that look when I win my first battle and make her eat her kriffing words.”

The rest of his squad raggedly cheer their approval from various places throughout the huddle. Their medals are pinned front and centre, unmissable, snatched from the jaws of defeat. 

“I could drink to that,” Fil says, his hands nestled behind his head. “Speakin’ of, where the hells is Fox? Thought you guys said he’d got a contraband contact.”

“He’ll be here,” Ponds insists, from where he’s laid out across some of the seating on his belly, lazily pillowing his face in his hands. “S’not exactly easy to arrange a drop.”

“You don’t think he’s gotten caught, d’you?” Wolffe says, clearly gleeful at the thought. 

Kote snorts. “More likely he’s gotten lost.”

“Oi, watch your mouth,” Ponds says, but he’s smirking, and there’s no heat in it. 

“Hey, you weren’t in that scouting simulation with him last week. He took us in a circle round the rendezvous three times, Ponds. They’re gonna have to put a tracker on him before letting him loose in a Venator.”

Abruptly, the door at the end of the barracks whooshes open, bathing them in sterile light. They all freeze and fall silent, even though there’s not a hope in hell that any passing Sargeant won’t see them crammed across the floor like protein cubes in a packet. 

“Just for that, Kote, you’re not getting any of this.”

They breathe out collectively when Fox ducks into the room, a wrapped package under one arm. Kote feels Wolffe’s arm round his shoulder go slack, and leans out of his grip to flip his brother off. 

“Can’t blame me for telling the truth, vod.” 

Fox snorts and punches the door controls to seal them back into relative darkness, before picking his way over to the group and crawling into their midst. 

“Did you get it?” Bly asks, voice hushed, eyes fixed on the lumpy parcel. 

“Course I did,” Fox rips off the paper with a flourish and holds up a bottle of spirit, the low lights catching the amber liquid inside and making it glow orange. “Dunno what it’s called, but apparently it’s strong.”

A giddy silence settles over them, bated as Fox breaks the seal and unscrews the lid. They look at each other across the circle, sitting on a precipice. Kote’s heart feels like it’s lodged in his throat. 

“So, who gets to drink first?” Ponds says from his great height, his voice reverent. 

There’s another pause as they all consider. 

“I think...Kote should do it.” Blitz pipes up, then shrugs when everyone turns to look. “He got the highest graduating score. Seems only fair.”

Kote feels heat rise in his face, opening his mouth to protest, but Fox sighs, mouth curling into a smirk.

“Well, I s’pose I can’t argue with that.”

He passes the bottle over, and Kote numbly takes it, his hands shaking against the glass. He feels the weight of it, looking out across his brothers, his vode, batchmates and squadmates all piled and mixed in around him. Tomorrow they will be spread thin across the galaxy, on planets and ships they have only ever seen in their dreams. For all their training, it’s almost impossible that they’ll ever be all together like this in the same room again. His throat tightens. 

“Well?” Fil scoffs, poking Kote’s shin. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

This is a rite of passage for nat-borns, he knows, an ascension to adulthood. It’s only fitting to share it here, on the very edge of their first battlefield. He brings the bottle to his lips, holding the moment in his mind. 

“Good hunting, brothers. Let’s bring it home.”

[xlovelybeanx]

✭ Here’s a little short fic I came up with at 1:30 at night, because... why not? (Upon finishing this story it’s now 2:27 - I ate food and I finished this “short” story. It actually turned out pretty long. Sorry.. hehe.)

✭Art belongs to @.patpaige as you can see in their logo. This artwork is amazing (<3).

——————————————————————————

Title: “Tamaki vs. ...Eri and Mirio?”

Ship: Miritama ft. Eri

Summary: Amajiki is no good with kids, Eri finds out what tickling is and Mirio is somehow a great teacher. ... could be worse.

Warning: Tickle fic. I think that’s all you need to be warned about. <3

——————————————————————————

“Ama-chan?” Eri’s soft voice echoed throughout the room as she laid down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling with eyes filled with boredom. Her white hair sat on the floor nicely, being held up with two bright red sparkly bows that matched her red overalls quite nicely.

The elder looked over to the girl on the floor, an anxious look spread across his face - of course, that was his normal face but the fact that Mirio - his boyfriend - had left him in charge of taking care of the kids. ...it made his stomach upset with every thought. “..y-yes, Eri-chan?”

“...will you play with me?” she asked, now sitting up in a criss-cross position, the twinkle in her eyes shining as she looked at him. The blue haired hero’s eyes widened with fear as he shook his head. “...you know, M-Mirio is a lot better at these things...than I am. You should just wait for him,” he said, waving dismissively as he continued to ‘supervise’ her.

Eri pouted softly, standing up - she wasn’t all that tall, but it still amazed him how much she had grown since... that day. “Please..?” she begged, clasping her hands together.

Amajiki only shook his head. “...honey, y-you know I’m...bad at this. You’ll have more fun with Togata, anyways.”

“But I wanna play with you..!” Eri sat down right in front of him, grasping on to the hoodie of his hero costume. Her grip wasn’t strong but it wasn’t letting go any time soon. He might as well just let her be, he thought as he closed his eyes and tried to think of a way to please her.

All of that was cut off when little fingers missed his hoodie and accidentally danced over the nape of his neck. A gasp escaped his lips, almost knocking her over as he went to protect himself from the ... weird sensations.

“A-Ama-chan? D-Did I hurt you?” Eri’s pout had turned to a slight frown, her eyes wide with fear. Amajiki shook his head frantically, a blush creeping up on his face. Petting the top of her head softly, he replied, “no. Y-You didn’t hurt me. Could I call m-myself a hero... if you out of all people hurt me? ..I may not be as strong as Mirio, but I’m... still worth being a hero. It just... er..” the rest of the sentence was lost in a mumble.

“Ama-chan! You have to speak louder, or else I can’t hear you!”

“...y-you just tic...” there he was, incoherently mumbling the rest of the sentence to himself- he almost looked a lot like Deku at the moment but Eri couldn’t bring that up. A bright red blush was on his face, and it was starting to creep toward his ears.

“I think what he’s trying to say is that he’s ticklish, Eri-chan.”

Speak of the devil, the childish blonde had come back with the snacks already - and he had heard everything that they did. Amajiki couldn’t really function after hearing that word - it was like his whole body stopped working with him.

“...what’s ‘ticklish’?” Eri asked, fiddling with her hands.

“...you see, Eri-chan, our dear Ama-chan is very ticklish..”

Mirio went over to the side of the shy boy, watching him curl up in a ball - his heart melted at the sight of his lover. A bright red blushy face, small whimpers coming out of his mouth, hiding himself so that he couldn’t get to his most ticklish spots - what a cute boyfriend he was.

“...and ticklish.. is a feeling you get when someone tickles you. ...it makes them laugh.”

“..laugh? Does it make them happy?”

“Oh, yes,” Mirio teased. “Very happy.”

Eri’s eyes widened in surprise before getting a mischievous glint in them. “..h-how do I tickle..?” she asked, looking down at her hands and feet - the more she tried to find the answer, the more Mirio felt sad and relieved for her. She was finally getting childhood experiences. ...maybe one that’ll stick for a while..

“This is how you tickle, Eri,” the blonde said as he wiggled his fingers in place, watching Tamaki already start to squirm in place. The teasing was starting to get unbearable - the more and more they said that word, the more he got butterflies in his stomach. Eri copied his movements, seemingly still puzzled at what she was doing.

“That’s it! Good job. Now you just have to do it on him.” Mirio applauded her, immediately grabbing his foot and holding it in place. The anxious hero’s eyes widened as he struggled in place - Eri looked almost hesitant to do it.

“He’s... struggling,” Eri commented, worry filling her face.

“That’s what people do. See, tickling causes fight or flight responses - which means they either run away from it or take it like a man. In which case, he tends to run away from it. I’m not hurting him, I promise. And if I do, I’ll apologize straight away. Sound good?” He held out his pinky and she took it with a nod and a grin.

“Now, wiggle your fingers on his foot. Test it out,” he said, holding him very still with both of his arms. The white haired girl seemed very shy about it at first, not really sure if she was doing it right, but when she glided her fingers on the sole of his foot, the reaction they got was instantaneous.

“...h-hold.. o-on! Aaaah-! Ahahaha... w-wait, s-stop! P-please..!” Eri almost seemed shocked at the giggles that he was producing - then again, no one had really heard him laugh. A smile was all they got, and even that was rare for them. “See? They laugh.”

“M-Mihihiro.. p-please! Dohohon’t do thihihis..!” The soft giggles were still pouring out of his mouth, as he hid his face within his hands, clearly embarrassed out of his mind.

“S-So... Ama-Chan’s happy?” Eri asked, never letting up her soft but vicious attack of his foot.

“Mhmm, very happy.” Mirio commented, releasing one of his arms to wiggle his fingers at him. “But watch. I can make him happier. I’m gonna need to let go of him, so watch out, okay?” The little girl nodded as she backed up, watching her hero release his grip and sit on his waist instead. She tilted her head softly, still really new to this.

“Tickle tickle, Amajiki~,” Mirio whispered into his ear, delicately attacking his ribs one by one. His laughter seemed to increase by a little - it was full blown laughing and not just small little giggles. Eri gasped, a smile on her face. “...show the little girl you’re happy, baby,” he said, grabbing his arms and holding them above one hand.

Amajiki was just too pure for this world, Mirio concluded. Hair starting to get all messy from the squirming, a bright red face the color of a tomato, eyes pricked with tears due to him not being able to take so much. ...it was just all too much for him. It made his little heart flutter with joy.

“...so, if I tickle here,” she pointed to her own ribs and then proceeded to poke the side of Tamaki’s, “..I make him more happy?”

“That’s correct. He can’t take very much of this, however, so we need to switch. I know, here!” Mirio pointed to his sides, smirking softly.

“... t-tickle tickle, Ama-chan!” Eri cried out as both of her hands found their way to his sides, making him jolt in ticklish agony.

“Y-You.. guhuhuhys are sohohoho mehehean!!” Tamaki shook his head back and forth as he tried to free himself from his loving boyfriend’s tight grip. “..p-please stohohohop..!” By this point, the poor boy’s laughter had turned a little bit wheezy, in which was a sign to stop.

“Eri-chan, let’s give him a break, yeah? We can’t keep tickling him - but we can after he recovers.” Mirio stopped his attack, and Eri somehow surprisingly stopped hers too.

“...t-thank.. you,” Amajiki wheezed, covering his face with his arms.

“C’mere, baby,” Mirio said as he gave a small kiss on his forehead, leaning against him softly. Eri sat down on the blonde boy’s lap, gaining a hug from him. The blushy hero “reluctantly” leaned back into his boyfriend, closing his eyes softly.

A guy could get used to this..

——————————————————————————

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Eating Everything.”

I am working my way through the list of suggestions that you guys left me, so this is the first installment from a Anon ask. I don’t know if this is what you wanted to read or where expecting to read, but this is what I came up with.

Intergalactic Journal of Biology and Medicine

Humans have one of the most resilient digestive tracts in the known universe. As an Omnivorous predatory species, humans are capable of digesting muscle , fat, carbohydrates (simple and complex), proteins and fibers taking many nutrients and extreme energy from them. Their use of carbs gives us an explanation as to why humans are so powerful because they require a lot of energy to use their bodies. Additionally, the stomach acid of a human is capable of digesting, non-food items though no nutrients can be pulled from it.

Generally speaking, the rule is that if you can eat it, a human can eat it, though, whether it is to their taste or not is questionable.

Furthermore, the human body reactivly ejects toxic substances once detected, so within reason, humans are capable of trying many foods without the negative consequences many of us would associate with sticking foreign substances in our mouth.

There GA intergalactic summit was held, on what was Earth time, November 5th, 4022. All members of the GA council were expected to attend, or at least a representative for every species in the known universe. At this time that would include the Rundi, Gibb, Tesraki, Bran, Vrul, Drev, etc. but worst of all, the humans. 

The Rundi steward, a class of government official who was specifically tasked with dealing with the drudgery of bureaucracy, was not pleased in the slightest. It was primarily his job to put everything together, and depending on how well he did, it could either make or break him in social hierarchy of his species. The Rundi were a primarily governmental planet, everything they did was based upon a structure of hierarchy and rule. Government was the greatest form of service, and Anarchy wasn’t even an afterthought in philosophical debate. The rundi were not capable of anarchy.

It was a planet of politicians in some form or another, every interaction had political underleanings, and their speech was always heavily guarded. For this reason, the Rundi had been the first in suggesting an intergalactic system of government. The terasaki had agreed only upon realizing they would be tasked with overseeing economics, but had benefited from the Rundi system of government seeing as they tended a bit towards social anarchy, a thought that the Rundi had seen as horribly barbaric, especially since their system was based primarily on the equal distribution of goods to support government structure. 

The Vrul had only agreed to join based on their own personal interest in survival. Generally they wanted nothing to do with intergalactic politics and would have been happy to maintain their own peaceful homeworld, but the introduction of other species into the galaxy had offered a great threat to them, and they had decided, out of necessity, to join the GA as being friends with the other species was in their own self interest. In turn that had meant sending their very, very skilled workers to help the rest of the galaxy, and that included their scientists and their doctors, and their mechanics.

And then of course there was the issue of the Drev and the humans, both scarily similar in social hierarchy and temperament. The Drev were warlike and honor bound, but once choosing a leader, they had been surprisingly willing to join in as long as they were given the opportunity to participate in any and all armed conflict that happened to take place across the galaxy. 

The humans….. The humans were another story. There was no one characteristic that helped to identify their motivations. The humans themselves were well versed in war, politics, economics, and science, but they did everything to the extreme. Where the Drev practiced war for honor,when humans waged war, they did it to kill, while the Rundi maintained government and played games within their own circles, the humans played against each other often mixing war and government into one. Their economic practices varied widely, but their current system played for keeps and focused on the greatest accumulation of wealth possible far beyond what the Tesraki did. Then when it came to science, they never considered WHETHER they should do something, but only if they COULD do something. 

And now here the steward was forced into the position of setting up this summit for all the different types of species. The catering alone had been a complete nightmare, and he had been forced to ship different sorts of food for thousands of miles in order to feed everyone in the proper manner. There were some species he did not have to worry about, like the Vrul, who were more plant based and so did not eat, but there were others, and that included the rundi and the Tesraki, who had every strict diet consisting of only very specific foods to eat. He found that he could tack the Drev onto some other species, seeing as their bodies were capable of metabolizing almost any plant as long as it retained a similar structure to human plants and fruit.

However, the humans themselves were the hardest part, because the range of food was so wide, he could hardly determine what was going to work and what was going to be a massive disaster. He honestly didn’t know, different sources said different things, and he couldn't bare to think about putting MEAT on the table…. That was just against his constitutions.

In fact, he was scrambling right up until the council had convened for the evening, and the mass tide of bodies came pouring into the room filling the vaulted ceiling with rockus chatter in dozens of different languages.

He could hear the humans coming a mile off.

The humans and the Rundi had a similar register when it came to hearing, and humans were known to be able to mimic Rundi vocalizations to some degree simply because they generally tended to communicate in deep grunts, hums and guttural vocalizations. The humans, wlel their language was just as varied as their culture clicking, hissing, snapping, humming and grunting filling the air with discordant and somehow, rhythmic quality..

Their presence turned heads.

They walked with the Drev delegation, which was no surprise to anyone. The humans had been unable to send their usual representative due to a social disagreement between earth and its neighboring sister, Mars. So who had they gone and sent….

Them….

The rundi Steward knew all about them….. Crewmembers of the UNSC Harbinger, the widest ranging vessel in the entire galaxy, and home to a crew that was indisputably certifiable. They were the most reckless, most dangerous, and most terrifying amalgamation of creatures in the galaxy somehow including one Drev, and a rather out of place Vrul whose behavior suggested he had caught whatever brain malady had overcome the humans, and was just as insane as they were.

He cringed horrifically at the sight of them.. Humans were a destructive force, and were known to cause chaos and mayhem wherever they went, even at the best of times, so this was bound to get interesting.

The delegates were seated, and the Steward welcomed them with gracious words of introduction he had spent months preparing. It was a very political thing for him to do, and included subtle compliments to all delegations involved, laid down some ground rules but made sure not to undermine the authority of the people he was speaking too..

However, to the humans, the attempt was obviously heavy handed brown nosing, though none of the other delegations seemed to notice.

He invited them in for refreshments and encouraged discussion between the parties.

Of course, the humans weren’t exactly ones to pass up the idea of food and were some of the first to the table examining the contents with great interest even the food that was not theirs. They seemed very amused watching the other delegations pick up their specific food and then move away to sit.

“What is this.” one of the humans commented holding up a rather stringy green tube that wriggled and squirmed in his hand, “Are these worms?”

One of the Tesraki looked over, “No, it’s a Cavestalk, a kind of plant. Probably not to your taste, they are known to be poisonous to other species. In other words, not human food.”

The human raised an eyebrow, “Buddy, humans are the sharks….. Or wait…. Maybe that's the goats of the universe, we can eat anything within reason, and even a couple of things outside of reason if given enough time.”

The Tesraki made a sort of shrug and wave with its large ears and then walked away. The steward watched the humans with a worried expression. It wouldn’t due to allow the humans to make themselves sick on his watch, but it seemed as if that idea was only becoming more and more likely as the humans poked and prodded at the leftovers of other species hardly bothering with the food that had been laid out for them…. Mostly strange fibrous plant materials.

And that is when it came, “I dare you to eat it.” 

The two humans locked eyes, one still holding the wriggling Cavestalk, “What.”

“I said, I dare you to eat it.” The human stuck out his chin at the other human in a primitive position of posturing, “How much do I get if I do.”

There was a moment of thought before, “Twenty credits. I’ll give you twenty credits to eat it.”

“What happens if it poisons me?”

There was a hand wave, “We have a doctor on board, he can just pump your stomach…. Chicken.”

A moment of silence passed between them, and the Rundi steward began moving towards them to stop something horrible he felt was about to happen. He wasn’t fast enough, and before he knew it, the human had thrown back his head and dropped the wriggly green thing into his mouth swallowing it whole like an alligator or a snake. 

People around looked on in somewhat fascinated disgust as the predator’s throat bobbed and he smacked his lips making a face, “Eh, I can still feel it moving…. Eh.” He paused, “Though, taste wise it isn’t so bad kind of like a wiggly asparagus.” After a moment his eyes narrowed, and he smacked his lips again, “Spicy asparagus, uh, that’s really really weird.” 

He reached the table just as the Vrul came running up shoulders squared in a very un-vrul way, “HE LITERALLY JUST SAID IT WAS POISONOUS TO OTHER SPECIES, AND NOW YOU’RE EATING IT! AND YOU OVER THERE.” A human looked up at him from where it had been prodding the Drev coiltree berries, “GET THOSE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!”

They had attracted the attention of some of the closer tables now who were looking on in entertained confusion and worry.

A human waved a hand, “It’s alright Doc, we have you don’t we”

“I AM NOT THE MAGIC CURE FOR NEUROTOXIN.”

Another shrug, “Well it’s a good thing that I’ll throw up before anything really bad happens.” 

The rundi steward tried to intervene as the humans began prodding through the other food, “Drev can eat human fruit, so I bet these things are like fruit.” one of them pointed out popping the berries into his mouth and chewing with a contemplative look on his face, “Not bad.”

“Please, please, if you would remain within your own food groups.” The Rundi begged. HE was now realizing he should have written up some legal documents to avoid litigation if the humans were to be damaged on their property, but now was too late.

A human waved him off, “Don’t worry, everyone else is done eating, besides.” He Pointed towards the human food, “That's literally a pile of lettuce, I am a man, not a horse.”

“Horses don’t eat lettuce, also that’s not lettuce,it’s spinach.” Another human piped up prodding at a strange squishy red ball sloshing with a strange pink nectar, “This looks like candy.”

“Please don’t put that in your mouth.”

The humans swarmed away from the two dissenting voices. One of them picked up the strange pink orb and licked it. It’s eyes lit up and it bit into the piece wiping pink juice from it’s face as it did, “Ok, this, this is good 10/10 would try again.” And that only caused all the other humans to move over to try one.

“I SAID GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!” The vrul demanded. 

The Rundi steward looked on in horror and worry. Vrul didn’t behave that way, everything here was just wrong. 

A Drev joined the party just then pointing to the pink orb, “I love those, but you should definitely try these too.” 

“No, no they should not.”

He was ignored, and the humans scooted over to look. It was a strange spiral plant in a light yellow color that made  a distinctive crunching sound as the humans bit down. They shrugged, “Sort of just like space celery if you ask me.”

Did these creatures have no sense of self preservation!

A group had gathered around the table strangely amused at the humans, who just ate…. Everything.

The Rundi steward almost keeled over watching his future go down the drain as other species began offering humans food. Whatever it was, they seemed unable to resist putting it in their mouths. A human made a face spitting something back out into his hand, “Ax bleh, tastes like Satan’s feet.” “Quick question. When was the last time you licked Satan’s feet.” “The last time I was at your mom’s house.” 

The humans made strange noises at each other as the Rundi stepped in and began grabbing things from the humans only to find the Vrul to be doing the same, “Stop it! Stop it all of you!.”

The human’s paused, as did the other delegates in surprise.

“STOP PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR MOUTH THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.”  The intervening silence was broken as one of the humans loudly crunched on one of the pink orbs. Everyone turned to look at her and she just glanced around the group.

“What?” She wondered past a mouth full of food.

A human waved a hand at him, “Keep your shorts on, we promise you won't get in trouble if one of us dies.” 

The Rundi stared on incredulous.

They were going to kill themselves, they were really going to kill themselves.

Maybe it was best if he resigned before being fired, at least he would be able to keep his dignity

[imanonymousfanfic]

Kid's Lipstick (2/2)

I enter the kitchen, head throbbing like I’ve split my skull open. I’m sluggish, barely able to stand like a bag of bricks in water. The smell of burning cigarettes and fried food sickens me, making me regret coming in already. I crawl into a chair, letting my heavy head fall onto the table with a loud thud. The impact rattles my skull sending a wave of pain through my head. I throw myself back, groaning out in agony as the throbbing increases. The others chuckle. They’re talking amongst themselves but I’m too destroyed to bother absorbing their conversations. I look over to Killer, who is cooking breakfast, staring directly at me as he blindly chops food.

“Water,” I ask him in a pained tone. He nods , grabbing a glass from the cabinet. I bury my face into my arms. All the bright sun shining through the windows is killing me. It’s unbearable. Heat cracks a joke about me, this I notice, making the rest of them laugh as they chomp down on their meals. Someone pokes at my arm, I peek, seeing it was Wire sat beside me doing it.

“Stop laughing, it’s not funny.” I mumble, my voice echoing from my folded arms.

“You were really drinking hard last night.” Haikei proceeds to tease. I sit up, looking at the man directly in his black circular shades. I snatch the cigarette sitting between his fingers and smush its lit tip into the table.

“Hey!”

“Your smoking is going to make me more sick than I already feel! Kid said no smoking in the kitchen anyway.” I hiss, flicking the crushed cigarette back at him. An arm appears in front of me, placing a glass of water down. My dry mouth looks at the liquid hungrily, wanting to inhale an entire sea’s worth. I begin chugging its contents back hurriedly, feeling as though nothing will be able to quench my thirst at this rate. Before I can finish, I reach for the jug sitting in the middle of the table, lifting it to the glass without putting it down on the table. I keep filling myself until my stomach reaches its limit. I smack the empty cup down on the table, gasping viciously for air.

I burp loudly the sound of my greedy behavior echoing loudly through the room, shortly followed with an apology. I laze myself down on the table again, whimpering quietly to myself. Everyone gathered around the table is staring, eyes wide as they fork their breakfast into their mouths.

“What? Why are you staring?” I grouch at them. Oscar and Wire pull their gaze away. Silence fills the room with nothing but the sound sizzling food, which reminds me that I’m both famished and nauseated, a combination I hate more than anything. I know that my hangover won't end until I replenish my body, but the word food alone makes me want to regurgitate my own organs.

The door swings open and in comes Noe, grinning widely, seeming as fresh and energetic as ever. “Hey guys!” He greets. His eyes fall to me, peeking briefly from beneath his bucket hat. He chuckles amusedly. “Woah, you look like shit dude!”

“Fuck you Noe,” I spit, he brushes off the harsh response, patting my back as he walks past me and slides into one of the free chairs. The boys greet him, throwing in a couple jokes as they do.

“Well, I like the lipstick, it suits you.”

The room falls silent. I look to the others, who were all nervously exchanging glances, mostly between Noe, Killer and I. I look at the glass to see the burgundy print faintly along its rim. I rub at my lip, hard, seeing a minor shade red transfer onto my finger. I look back up at the guys to see they were staring at me as if I knew what was happening. I drop the glass and jump out of the chair in panic, fumbling over my words. I rush to the door, slamming it behind me in panic.

I rush to the medbay, hoping to catch Senior, he might know something. I throw open the door to see Kid sitting on a cot, clutching his temples with a pained expression. He and Senior both look over to me, Senior seeming caught off guard. My eyes meet Kids then Senior again. A smirk spreads across his lips. He already knows. My words stumble again, making a random jumble of sounds but no words come out. I throw the door closed and dart towards the sleeping quarters, the only place left that I can be safe.

I catch my reflection in one of the windows. I come to a hard stop, gliding on the freshly washed deck, nearly tumbling to the floor as I do. I study my reflection, seeing the familiar shade of lipstick staining my lips and the area surrounding them. It’s not a clown's job, that’s for sure..

Oh god... Oh god.

I take off once again, running down to my hammock and throwing myself into it, wrapping myself into a tightly enclosed cocoon. I pull my pillow to my face, screaming loudly into it, straining my throat as I do. As my voice dies out, I fall silent. I’m aching and frustrated and don’t remember anything.

“You know when we had that talk last night I was anticipating the situation to be resolved.” Killer's voice cuts the silence. Of course.

“I don’t remember a single thing after we talked.”

“That was obvious the second you entered the kitchen.” He retorts, seemingly monotoned. He’s not the least bit impressed with me.

I stir angrily. The shock in my system is fading but my heart is still pumping hard, mercilessly attacking my head.

“Are you here to make me miserable or do you have a point to make?”

“Hm,” he hums, “you can figure this one out on your own.” His tone harsh, different from usual. Instead of sounding like the heartless pirate he is, it almost sounds spiteful to my response. He turns, making his way out of the room shutting the door behind him, leaving me to sit in silence.

I really need to sleep some more.

More steps come and the door cracks open. Now frustrated,  I peel open my hammock and look over to see Noe walking over to me with a mug in his hand. The smell of coffee fills the room.

“What happened man?” He questions, plopping down against the wall next to me. He hands me the mug. I shake my head.

“I’m just really embarrassed.”

“Why? It’s not like you stripped and danced naked in front of us, although, that would have been fun.” Noe chuckled. I would have smacked him if he was in arms reach. I roll my eyes and plop my head down in my pillow again. He lightly sways my hammock, sitting silently in my company.

“How am I ever supposed to come back from wearing the captain's lipstick? This will haunt me for the rest of my days on this ship.”

“Stop being such a drama queen,” Noe shrugs, slurping his coffee loudly.

“Go fuck yourself Noe,” I mumble turning away from him, “you’re shit at offering comfort.”

“Sleep off the alcohol. We can talk when you’re less miserable.”

“Yeah hopefully then I’ll have the energy to bruise your face.”

The door to the sleeping quarters shuts.

***

I break from my deep slumber to loud stomping approach the room, the door slams open, almost falling off its hinges. The sudden commotion makes me jump and squirm in the hammock before falling out, landing fast first on the ground.

I groan loudly. “I don’t want to exist today,” I mumble, with my face still pressed into the ground, already feeling the bruise forming on my forehead. My head is still reminding me of my poor choices from last night. The extra sleep helped, but god I’m being punished for it. I roll myself over and look up to the silhouette blocking the light shining from the door. I can faintly make out Kids face. He’s pissed.

“I’m on watch duty aren’t I?”

“You were, I let you sleep in.” The captain growls down at me. For once he’s a little merciful. What the hell happened to make everyone act so weird?

He kneels down in front of me, lifting my head back and swiping his finger over my lips roughly. “There’s an enemy not too far ahead, we’re gonna them.”

I swat his hand away, tugging my head back from his hand. “Okay, I’ll get to the infirmary… and stop touching me.”

He narrows his eyes at me, making me freeze. I frown at him, what is happening? I scoot back a little bit and shakily stand myself up. Kid follows my actions, staring me down like I was hiding something from him. I know something is going on, and it's just hanging in the air, but I can’t deal with this now.

I bundle my hair up and tie it into a high ponytail, giving him the side eye as I turn to my trunk, kicking its side making the lid bust open. I tear off my crop top from last night and replace it with my work t-shirt, it still has a couple blood stains, but they match its icy blue color. Next is the gun Kid gave me, I load it, counting the bullets I have. He told me only to use it when someone attacks me while tending to someone. I’ve only had to use it a couple times.  I’m not supposed to fight, most of the time at least.

I fill the pockets of baggy pants with the bullets and slip my blade into my boot. Firmly sticking the cover inside so it doesn’t fall out. I throw my supply belt over my shoulder, tightly locking it over my chest and between my boobs. I catch him staring but his eyes quickly divert, his emotions making it hard to think about anything else. He remains still with his rage silently building as I continue to ignore the elephant in the room. I avoid look again, catching his gaze is typically the tipping point when he’s angry. I kick the trunk again and the lid falls closed. I make my way towards the door, spotting Killer strolling past, eyeing us down casually before disappearing again.

“You think you can just act like nothing happened.” Kid calls out to me. I come to a halt, nearly at the door and turn on my heels to face him again, almost jumping when I see his chest right in front of me. I look up to see his angered expression has softened slightly. I kick the door closed, unable to concentrate on him with the crew outside barking orders as they try to prepare for a fight.

I’m too tired to have this conversation now. Why now?

I sigh out. “Kid, I need to prepare the medical supplies. Seniors foot is broken, I have to work twice as hard.” My body itches. The curiosity in me is begging for answers but it feels more troublesome than rewarding at this rate. Everyone is acting off, and this is the last thing I need is to be messing up because of last night. “I don’t remember and I don’t want to try to right now.”

His eyes grow cold again, appearing angrier than before. Huffing out, he storms past, throwing me off balance as he does on his way out. I shouldn't have said that, in that way. It’s bothering me more than anything that he’s staying so calm about it. I spot the blond again by the door frame, silently watching me with his arms crossed, pretending to be casually hanging about.

“Yeah, yeah, I get the fucking message.” I huff out on my way out.

I beeline straight to the infirmary, helping only a couple men with ropes on the way when they needed me to. I open the door to see Senior sitting at his deck, leg propped up in his large cast. He’s reading that damn medicine book that's impossibly heavy with insanely tiny writing. He tilts the book at angle to give a look through his reading glasses, followed by a cocked brow.

“So.” He begins, just as I was hoping he wouldn't. I throw my head back, irked by his insistence to talk about Kid and I. He’s not the only one. It’s almost like the crew wants to be involved with this pointless drama. You would think as pirates they’d be too busy to worry about that.

“Not today, please.” I whine at him, grabbing one of the mouth rinses from one of the cupboards.

“That’s for mouth injuries.” Senior reminds me, without even looking up from his book. I often wonder if he has a third eye.

“Yes, well, I can’t get the taste of alcohol out of my mouth despite brushing my teeth twice today.” I throw the medicine back into my mouth, swirling the gross medicinal liquid around my mouth, making sure it’s coating my mouth entirely before spitting it out in a bucket.

“Maybe don’t get drunk.”

“I can break your other foot for you.” I snarkily respond slapping his casted foot. He hisses in response, giving me the stink eye. I wink at him, chuckling softly as I begin to  carefully pocket the medical supplies on my belt, organizing them by level of emergencies.

“Are you going to be alright on your own?” Senior questions me, now taking his feet off the table.

I adjust the belt over my shoulder, huffing annoyedly. “I don’t have a choice. I just hope none of the heavier boys need me to carry them.” Senior chuckles in response, clearly amused at the image.

“If it comes to it I’ll be out in a matter of seconds. You’ll be fine, it’s not an Emperor.”

I hum in response, thinking to myself quietly about last night. There’s not much I remember, just Kids eyes angrily staring me down as I make my way into his room. I drank almost half a bottle of whiskey on top of all that lager. Damn...no wonder my head feels like a balloon ready to burst.

I pop a pain killer in my mouth, chugging the glass of water on Seniors desk. “I’d usually kill you for that, but in your state I’ll forgive it.”

“You’re so merciful,” I sarcastically retort with an eyeroll, making my way back to the door. It swings open right as my hand reaches the handle and there stands his large figure. The light from outside burns my eyes, making me squint painfully as I stare up at him.

“Give us some privacy.”

I swallow the ball growing in my throat and step back, letting Senior step out on his crotches. Kid slams the door behind him, making me jump. His eyes are dark, filled with rage that I only ever see when he’s fighting. The ball in my throat drops, now pitting in my stomach instead.

He’s always been hard on me, snapping orders and reprimanding me when I’m wrong, but he’s never looked at me the way he does now. His nose crinkles as he snarls at me, bearing his teeth, ready to bite at any second. I look to his arm, seeing the veins in his arms bulging from his fist constantly balling up. He’s fighting with himself to stay calm. I can't look into his eyes, his gaze feral and ready to bite like a pack of hungry wolves. The anticipation for him to speak pains me. I continue to back up, stopping as my back hits one of the cots. I bite down on the inside of my lip, feeling my face wanting to show my fear, but that will only make this worse. I keep my eyes down to my boots, awkwardly looking down as I wait for his yelling to start.

“How dare you think you can talk to me that way.” Kid hisses at me through clenched teeth.

“Don't get mad at me if I can't remember what happened, stop humiliating me!” I bark back at him, my emotions finally getting the best of me. My spiteful cold attitude has held up so far but hearing the aggression in his voice breaks me.

His demeanour switches suddenly, and laughs tauntingly. “Can I remind you, you’re the one who went to bed wearing my lipstick.” His cruel teasing finally breaks me. I fold my arms over my chest, chewing hard on my bottom lip as I fight the tears pricking in my eyes. He waits for my response but nothing comes. I stare at the wall, angrily sulking, eyes watering and nose burning, viciously blinking the blurry vision in my eyes. .

He nods simply, his eyes boring into me. He’s quiet, meaning for once he’s thinking his actions through. He’s such a cruel man and I can’t stand being a victim of his merciless ways. He flashes me a dissatisfied grin. He turns away to the door, attempting to put an end to this conversation for now. If I leave it like this I will be in more trouble.

“Exactly as I thought from last night, you’re just talk.” He writes me off, waving his hand over his shoulder like I’m useless.

Asshole. I snatch the nearest item to me, a therapy ball sitting by my feet and launch the firm object at him. It smacks into his head with a loud thump before ricocheting across the room. Kid turns on his heels slowly, his eyes catching mine. His face contorted into a terrifying expression resembling what a demon would appear as in the skin of a human. His eyes pierce what little armor I have left. All my rage slips away, melting into panic.

My jaw clenches with my hands now shaking vigorously as I try to keep calm. I suck in air between my teeth, standing tall on the ground I decided to cross. “You cannot come in here mocking me and dehumanizing me for something I don’t even remember doing, you asshole!”

“You’re telling me how I can act?” Kid questions me, stepping towards me.

My words stutter uncontrollably, cursing the gutsiness my rage gave me. “I-I” Never once have I raised my voice at him and now I already regret it.

He kneels before me. I tear my gaze away, but he turns my face back to him. “What? So now the cats caught your tongue? Do I need to cut it off?” He laughs, now seeming more amused than angry at this rate. For the first time I’m struggling to understand what is happening inside of his head and I can’t stand it.

“So you’re embarrassed of kissing me?”  His question takes me off guard. My eyes widen as thoughts jumble in my head. Oh god. My exaggerated confidence has deflated completely, leaving me defenseless

“N-No!”

He turns to the door, I release the air held in my lungs, hoping this is the end. He locks it, forcing every muscle in my body to tense. My goddamn luck betrays me everyday, but who am I kidding, this is Kid.

“So tell me why you came into my room last night telling me that I gross you out and I’d be the worst person to love, yet you still only think about kissing me?”

The air in my throat hitched, almost making me choke. Parts of the distance memory faintly come to mind. I don’t remember it, but I remember doing it. The blood in my face collects, turns my cheeks into an overheated mess, turning my knees to jelly. The incoherent words hang off my lips in a jumbled mess once more.

“So, you’re just too embarrassed to say you like me?” Kid asks me smirking even more now. Why is he smiling?

I dip away from his hand trying to grab me, his fingers brushing over my shoulder. The suppressed anger in him is building a tension in the room I can’t bear to face. He hasn’t been merciful, he hasn’t been kind, it’s so obvious now that since this morning it’s all been calculated. He wants me to confess.

“No, that’s not it at all!” I hiss in return. I dodge his grasp again, jumping away from his hand as it reaches for me. He turns to face me properly, slowly approaching as I calmly back myself away, feeling the walls as I go until I hit a corner. He leans down to me, his golden eyes flicking between both of mine, face sitting inches away. He hums amusedly, with his cool breath lightly fanning over my face.

“You can’t be embarrassed of your Captain.”

“I’m not,”

“Oh?” Kid sadistically smirked, “but you wanted to hide when everyone saw the lipstick on your lips.”

The words in my mouth stumble into a chaotic mix of sounds that mean nothing again. Kid laughs at me, before pulling out a lipstick from his pocket, brandishing it to me as he opens it to apply a fresh layer, covering his lips in the dark burgundy, watching me as he slides the make up across his lips. Once done he closes it, placing it back in his pocket, while his other hand wipes away the corners that he over-lined. He flashes me a toothy grin, running his tongue along his teeth, purposely torturing me with anticipation. He leans down closer to my face, the smirk fixed on his lips. All of my breath leaves my lips. He can’t be serious, not now.

“I enjoy seeing people suffer, you know that right?” I nod hesitantly in response. “Good,” he hums approvingly, wrapping his fingers around the belt on my chest. My heart stops, awaiting his next move. For once I can’t predict him and completely at his mercy.

He tugs on the belt, making me crash into him. Both of his hands cup my face, pressing his lips onto mine, holding me tight as he exhales the brewing emotions in him. He pulls away, parting the aggressive kiss, letting me breathe in finally. Completely overwhelmed and paralyzed by his actions, I stare at him with shallow lungs as I struggle to relax. I’m nauseated fromm my stomach nervously flipping. Why did he kiss me if he’s so angry?

“You came into my room last night yelling at me, telling me I’m the asshole for saying I liked you.”

“You are,” I quietly croak.

“Yeah,” he tuts back, an evil smirking spreading on his lips. My eyes grow wide, he’s planning something. He drags his finger over my bottom lip. “You’re not allowed to yell at your captain, throw bottles at his door, or-” The ball in my throat grows and regret fills me. I don’t want to drink ever again. “Be embarrassed of your captain.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re not allowed to lie either!” Just as I go to open my mouth again he kisses me, pulling me over his now kneeling leg, running one hand through my hair while the other pulls the hair tie out. My hands run over his shoulder grasping onto him as we deepen the kiss.

“You’ve fallen for my trap.” He laughs out, breaking the kiss. I tug my head back seeing the devious glint in his eyes. The panic sets in and I begin to struggle away from him as hauls me up and pins me to the ground. I push against his hands, quickly realizing my defeat. I whimper out, begging him to stop as he starts to cover me in kisses, planting his lipstick all over me, the creamy makeup covering me from my chest up to my forehead. I can’t help but giggle, but curse at him, infuriated by this. He pulls away, looking down at me with pride, appreciating his work.

“You can’t wash it off until the end of the day.”

“WHAT?” I yell, now trying to kick myself away from him.

“Discipline for your bad behavior.”

I hum angrily, eyes burning holes into him. I would be angrier if it wasn’t he wasn’t kissing me moments before. He picks me up from the floor, giving me the hair tie back. I snarkily sneer at him, tying my hair back up once again. He smirks at me again, headed for the door with me following shortly behind. I’m not ready for all the mockery I’ll be enduring for the rest of my life on this ship.

“Do I have permission to kick anyone’s ass who pisses me off?” I ask him.

He gives me a quick glance, smiling widely. “Only if they can handle it.” A smile creeps on my lips, I know I’m a bright crimson by now, but it’s all out of the way. Maybe my drinking helped me make better decisions than I thought. Part 1

[ladyvader23]

Childhood Injuries

Inspired by MFM minisode 118, though I had this EXACT same thing happen to me as a kid, too. Except I didn’t tell my parents about it. Oops. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It happened on an early afternoon in the middle of summer vacation. 

Vader had just finished a meeting with Grand Moff Randd and was escorting him back to his personal hangar where his ship awaited. 

“We’re headed towards a standoff with the Rebels,” Randd was explaining as they entered the hangar. 

“A standoff I expect you to break,” Vader warned, stopping and pointing at him. “If I have to go out there myself, even your position will not save you from my wrath.” 

Behind him, he sensed the bright presence of his son dashing into the hangar, making a beeline for him. He grimaced, hoping the boy would go somewhere else, and cursing for about the millionth time that schools had such a thing as summer vacation. It left his children with little to do except disrupt him at the worst possible times. 

He would not give Luke the satisfaction of acknowledging him. He needed to learn that there was a time and place. He was eight--it was time he acted his age. 

“We’re committing a fair portion of the fleet--” Randd broke off, blinking down at Luke as he arrived and began tugging on Vader’s cape. 

Disbelief and rage shot through him. What did Luke think he was doing?! How many times had he told him not to interrupt him while he was busy?! 

He shot a brief glare at him over his shoulder. “I am busy. Go find your sister.” Then he turned back to Randd. 

“If...now isn’t a good time, Lord Vader…” Randd began, but Vader held up a hand. 

“My son needs to learn to mind his manners and wait his turn.” He shot another look at Luke. He hadn’t moved, and was staring up at him with wide eyes. 

Children. 

“Ahem. Well, in that case…” He continued to ramble on about planned ship movements in the sector and Vader attempted to listen, but Luke’s bright presence was ever there and waiting, insistent that he needed to talk to him. 

At least he wasn’t verbally trying to interrupt, like usual. Maybe he’d learned something. 

“Be careful that you do not put all of your resources in one battle. The Rebels are hoping you’ll do just that in order to take them out at once. I would suggest splitting your resources to arrive in stages to slowly overwhelm the Rebellion.” Vader replied when Randd was done speaking. 

“Wise advice, Lord Vader. I will do so at once.” 

He had to admit, out of all of the Grand Moffs, Randd was one of the least annoying. 

“Very good. I look forward to the results.” 

He waited until Randd had turned to leave before turning around to address his son, who was now shifting from foot to foot, his face pale. He did not fail to notice Leia peaking out into the hangar, watching them from a distance. 

He crossed his arms. That did not bode well. What else had they broken in their residence? If he had to guess, Leia likely broke something, and Luke was coming to tattle. 

Force, he wished he hadn’t approved Miss Laena’s vacation. He didn’t realize how wild children were. 

“I have told you repeatedly to wait until I am finished with business before interrupting me! I may be your father, but I am also running an Empire. One day you will understand just how busy that makes me!” Luke still continued to stare at him, his eyes pleading. Inwardly, Vader sighed. “Fine. What do you want?” 

Unexpectedly, Luke’s eyes filled with tears. Then he simply opened his mouth…

And blood poured out of it and onto the permacrete floor. 

Vader moved before he even consciously realized what was happening. One moment Luke was standing there, the next he was scooped into his arms, and he was running towards his fastest speeder. 

Running. He never ran. But the sheer terror at the blood still coming out of Luke’s mouth and not knowing why…

Was he dying?! Why didn’t he say something sooner?! What the hell had even happened?! What kind of conditions even caused this?! 

He didn’t know, he didn’t care. His one singular focus was to get Luke to a doctor immediately. 

“Leia!” he bellowed, getting Luke into the front seat. Luke was still much too young to be in the front seat, but he couldn’t take his eyes off him for a second-- “Get in the speeder, now!” 

Thankfully, she did not dawdle. She was climbing into the back seat before Vader had even finished buckling in Luke, whose mouth was still open and bleeding profusely down his chin. 

“Is Luke going to die?” Leia asked, and Vader barely noticed the concern in her little voice. 

“Do not suggest such things!” He yanked his cape off, threw it on Luke, and then shoved one end of it into his mouth. “Hold that there!” 

He jumped into the pilots seat, turning the speeder on with the Force, and rocketed out of the hangar. 

“What the hell happened?!” He demanded. He still kept his eyes firmly on Luke, using the Force to assist him in steering the right way towards the nearest hospital. 

“Well…” Leia began, “Promise not to be mad, daddy…” 

“I am beyond that point!” 

Holy Force, his son was going to die and he’d just let him stand there waiting--

“W-well, Luke and I were hover skating…” 

“In the apartment?!” 

“Sowwy waw--” Luke began, his mouth full of blood and cape. 

“Do not speak!” Vader pointed at him. “Leia, what happened?!” 

“I...Luke had...well you see, he had…” He could sense her squirming in her seat, and by the Force he was about to start screaming himself if she didn’t just spit it out--

“Swick.” Luke said. 

Vader...had no idea what that was. 

“He had a stick in his mouth.” Leia clarified in a terrified whisper. “He tripped and...yeah.” 

Vader simply stared at his son, even as he swerved out of the hyperlane and into the hospital lot. 

A stick. 

“...Why?!” 

He couldn’t even form the words to express how insane that was. What had even possessed Luke to put a stick in his mouth in the first place?! What logical thought…

But children were not logical. And now his son was bleeding everywhere and he didn’t know how serious the damage was…

He slammed the speeder to a stop in front of the emergency center, scooped Luke up, and stormed for the doors. Thankfully, Leia at least had the sense to get out of the car and follow. 

The doors were automatic, but he used the Force to blow them down anyway. The glass landed on the floor with a crash, and multiple people screamed. He paid them no mind, heading straight for the doors leading towards patient rooms. “Get me a doctor, NOW!” He bellowed at the terrified nurses behind the counter. 

They didn’t dare stop him as he ripped the patient area doors open. Multiple doctors were already racing towards him, a gurney between them. As Vader lowered Luke onto it, he felt his son begin to panic, reaching for him both physically and through the Force. 

“I am going with him.” Vader snarled, then as Leia bumped into his legs, he clarified, “We are going with him.” 

These doctors were not stupid enough to deny him. “Of course, Lord Vader. Right this way.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vader grilled the doctors multiple times after they came back with their findings, just in case. He couldn’t lose his son, especially over something so incredibly stupid. According to the doctors, the stick had apparently poked through a tonsil, but was small enough that it would heal on its own. 

“Mouth injuries tend to be bloodier than others.” The doctors assured him repeatedly, “This is actually more common than you’d think.” 

Vader could hardly believe it. Putting sticks in mouths was common?!  

Had he been this reckless as a child?! 

Well. Yes. But he’d never thought to put objects that could cause serious damage in his mouth. 

“So Luke’s not going to die?” Leia asked. 

“No.” He was relieved to say that, but… “You will be removing any similar objects from the apartment when we get home. Do you understand me?!” 

Leia flushed, ducking her head shamefully. “Yes, daddy.” 

“And you are grounded from hover skates for the rest of the summer!” He pointed at her. 

Leia looked up at that, her face twisting angrily...but then she caught sight of Luke on the hospital bed with cotton stuffed into his mouth, still clutching his father’s now bloodied cape. She sighed, looking down again. “Yes daddy.” 

He dropped his hand. Well. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about the skates. 

But that left Luke. He turned, approaching the bed and sitting beside his son. He was staring up at the holovid in the corner of the room. The only sign of his anxiousness was his hands fisted in his cape. 

“Luke.” 

His son tore his eyes away from the holovid to look at him. With cotton in his mouth, it wasn’t likely that he could speak much. 

Good. That meant he wouldn’t be interrupted. 

“I cannot believe I have to say this, but you are not to put foreign objects in your mouth, especially sticks.” He paused. “Why did you even do that?” 

Infuriatingly, his son just shrugged. 

He closed his eyes, and counted backwards from ten. Why? Why? Why were children so illogical? 

“I don’t tell you these things to be unfair,” Vader explained through gritted teeth. “I give you rules because I want you to be safe.” He hesitated, checking to make sure no one but Luke and Leia were in hearing distance. They were alone in the room, and it was apparent that the doctors had decided to make themselves scarce to avoid more interrogation from him. “I was scared today. I don’t ever want to see you injured like this again.” 

Instantly, he felt Luke’s shame in the Force. Despite the cotton balls in his mouth, he tried to say, “wowwy,” which Vader assumed was an apology. 

“Do not do it again.” He warned. 

Luke nodded, and before Vader could stop him (they were in public, after all) Luke threw his arms around him and hugged him. 

He tensed, immediately checking for nearby doctors...and relaxed when they were still well away from the room. He wrapped one arm around his son, bringing him closer, while his other arm reached for Leia. She didn’t need to be asked--she too came, hugging him from the other side. 

He held his children and closed his eyes, savoring the moment. 

His children would be the death of him. He was sure of it.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

March Ado About Nothing

Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.

A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.

Day 4: A Nice Family Outing

Summary: It was always nice for Janus and Patton to get out of their house and take the twins somewhere they could play and scream without disturbing the neighbors...again.

Prompts: *Stabbing*, Rescues, Adverse Reaction  

Ships: Married Mociet (Janus x Patton) with kids Roman and Remus

Warnings: play fighting with sticks. Let me know if there are more!

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @/janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @/im-an-anxious-wreck  (in an effort to not flood your inboxes I’m only tagging in the first part ^-^)

WC: 850

Watching their sons stab each other, while an interesting way to spend the afternoon, definitely wasn’t the wholesome family fun outing Patton had imagined it to be when packing the picnic basket that morning. He chewed idly on a fingernail, tracking each movement with the quickness and accuracy that one really only acquired in parenthood- an instinct born from constantly trying to make sure your children didn’t die or kill/seriously maim each other before it was time for them to get their own insurance, and by that time one expected their sweet little gremlins to be grown up into something at least halfway civilized so that none of those instances happened by their own hands.

As it was his husband simply sighed in exasperated fondness beside him as the two run circles around each other a few yards away- both wielding sticks that they had been allowed to have on the grounds that if either of them seriously injured the other on purpose they would both be grounded for a month. In hindsight they really should have thought to bring the foam swords from home before they left but so far they had both been good about keeping the sticks away from their faces and not getting any more scrapes or bruises than was usual for all their roughhousing.

“I stabbed you you gotta play dead!” Remus yelled far too loud for Patton to be comfortable in public.

“Nuh-uh! Dad said no face stabs and you stabbed my face so it don’t count!” Roman screamed back.

“Doesn’t count Roman.” Janus supplied helpfully, earning an elbow in the ribs from Patton even as he snorted.

“Doesn’t count!” Roman parroted as he swung the stick at Remus’ knees.

“Does too! I hit your shoulder!”

“That's my face area so it doesn’t count!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is too!” Remus, apparently having enough of the brotherly banter, abandoned his stick to tackle Roman to the ground instead, bringing him down with an indignant shriek as they began to roll in the dirt. Patton sighed and mentally ticked off the laundry he had already done that weekend and added the twins’ clothes to the pile he still had in the laundry room. It was only mud and they were old clothes so he wasn’t too worried- honestly most of his concern was whether or not they’d have enough bandaids for all the scrapes they’d probably have on their legs afterwards. He smiled and leaned back on his hands, at least there was never a shortage of Make-It-Better-Kisses. “Should we pull them apart now or wait until someone comes over to tell us we’re bad parents?” Janus drawled as he took a sip of grape juice from his wine glass.

“They aren’t being that lou-” Another shriek brought his attention back to the boys as they were now play sword fighting with the previously abandoned sticks. “...give five more minutes they’re having fun.”

“Mm.” They watched in silence for a couple more minutes before Roman and Remus eventually got tired on their own, both of them flopping down on the blanket to pant and rest in front of them. Reaching forward Patton gently carded through Remus’ hair, trying to ruffle as much dirt and grass out of it as possible. He looked over to see Janus doing the same To Roman’s face with a wet wipe, though it seemed both of their efforts were in vain. Seeming to give up on the fussy child Janus instead took Patton’s hand and began wiping it off with the cloth, taking it when he was done and placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles and causing his face to turn a brilliant red as he struggled to get words past his sputtering lips.

“Gross Dad.” Roman quipped from his place on the blanket. Janus glanced down with a wholly unimpressed expression and reached for him.

“Gross huh? I’ll show you gross!” Before Roman could wiggle away he was scooped up into Janus’ strong arms, shirt tucked up and away as his lips blew raspberries into his sensitive stomach. The unholy shriek that left Roman’s mouth was piercing enough to give any demon a run for its money, wiggling and giggling uncontrollably as his attacker refused to let up.

Patton turned to Remus, who was simply laying and watching quietly. Patton poked his forehead. “Feeling left out?”

“No!”

Patton grinned and reached forward, choosing to attack Remus’ more sensitive ribs then taking his husband's approach. Remus tried to stay still, face turning red with a held breath that was let out a moment later in an explosion of laughter and squirming that only brought him closer to the offending fingers rather than away. Janus stopped first, panting heavily and laughing just as hard as Roman as Patton finally let up and placed a hand on Remus’ forehead where he was resting on his lap. The sun was going down and they’d have to leave soon, but it was nice letting out the last of their laughter for the sun to enjoy before they made their way back home.

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