#I JUST KINDA

[suzyandthefox]

Small vent

Why do I even bother

I keep checking this blog even though nobody interacts with me anymore

The few friends I made here are all gone and those that remain I don't even know if they're friends

I keep finding out people I used to follow and talk to have blocked me

Why do people not like me anymore?

What did I do wrong?

[mono-socke]

may i request some content with me and two river if u dont mind 👉👈

yeah sure !!

wholesome and not so wholesome

hope this is okay !!

[lilmothgf]

Pen/pregnant Builder headcannons

Builder is gender neutral

bro this is way too long so..enjoy

Builder is gender neutral, spoilers for act 2 & 3, SOME mentions of childbirth but no graphic detail. AGNST... A lot of it. Pen will not use the nickname skinny to be inclusive towards heavier readers. Not really proofread, I can barely write.

You knew you should've been a bit more careful.. Though with how passionate and needy Pen could be and your busy work schedule.. You may have forgotten protection a few times and the light knows pen wouldn't care enough to think about it himself in the heat of the moment.

Though, it was only so long you could ignore your new symptoms that were making taking commissions extra hard lately

Fatigue

Nausea and vomiting.. nothing stayed down..

..You really dreaded going to fang to confirm what you already knew but you desperately needed treatment with the constant vomiting, you couldn't keep any fluids down & in a hot arid environment dehydration was a real threat.

Fang confirmed your worst fear though deep down you already knew it, you weren't that oblivious to your own body. You were thankful to fang, he provided you some herbal remedies to help cope with the Nausea and to hopefully keep some fluids in your system.

You already knew how Pen felt about marriage, you were absolutely terrified to have to tell him you were pregnant but you knew you couldn't hide it forever.

Pen, well, he took it as well. He was good at not showing how he really felt but oh did he feel sorry for you both

You were expecting him to break up with you immediately but...

Pen knew he didn't have much time with you left, he always knew he would need to leave Sandrock to go back to Duvos. He was only here for a mission and he already broke so many codes just being involved with you.

Despite everything, Pen did love you, in his own Pen way.

you could see he was a little apprehensive responding to you, you could tell something else was on his mind.

"My Baby is having a baby? well, I hope you realize how lucky you are to be having my child! I bet they will even have fans asking about me when they are born!"

don't try to propose to him, it's still no. it's already gone too far.

Need help around the workshop? You got it. Even the Light knows he would not let his pregnant partner overwork themselves!

deep down he knew that he may not have much time left with you, so any time spent with you was valuable

When you eventually start to show your baby bump Pen is...

Well. Everyone knows you are HIS builder! They can so obviously see it! He has claimed you.. forever.. He was always very possessive of you and this only made it worse

Sadly for pen he won't get to see his child

Despite everything being so well.. things still felt.. wrong. There were just things about Pen's schedule that would make you suspicious.

Oh how your heart broke when Grace & Logan finally had to break everything they knew to you. You didn't wanna believe Pen was involved in this but when Logan explained to you it wasn't him that blew up the water tower but it was Pen.

They were sympathetic. They knew, they knew you were Pen's partner. That night in the hideout you cried and cried.. but they were here for you.

Grace was hesitant to take you with her when you broke the lock to the Sandrock storage room, she didn't know what you would see in there but she in general was just worried for your safety, being the pregnant one and all..

You helped collect evidence as silently, you were burying your emotions deep inside you.. even up until Pen and Miguel came into the storage room to investigate. You saw him.. but you were just numb, there were so many thoughts inside your head what have you gotten yourself into? why is he doing this? did he ever love you, how are you going to do this alone?

Of course.. when you wake up one morning to see Haru had been captured outside of the city hall, you couldn't lie no more.

"PEN BLEW UP THE WATER TOWER!! I HAVE PROOF!!"

Pen was... well. I guess it's over now isn't it my dear builder "How.. could you say such outrageous things about me.. Builder? Are you working for the Bandits! How could you betray me like this?"

Everyone was SHOOKETH, they knew your relationship to Pen, and they knew how trustworthy you were, even though Miguel and Pen tried to flip it onto you, nobody believed them.

When everything was said and revealed, Pen knew there was nothing more he could say or do, but he tried, he knew you though. You would never join him.

"Oh.. My dear Builder, I guess this is it?... Why don't you just come with me! Join Duvos, I can give you everything you need or ever want."

he knows you will say no

Refuses to hurt or fight you, he purposefully avoids hitting you, he can't hit you, he can't endanger you or his own child... Oh he wishes how you could've just come with him.

But he loved how strong you were, emotionally & physically, even now. He admires you, deep down. He knows this must be painful for you.

which is partially why he may have been caught, oh he knows he will not hear the end of it. Again. he already violated too many codes by mingling with you!

You believed that maybe you could have convinced him to change his mind about Duvos

but...

when it was revealed he killed Howlett.. You knew. There was no going back from that.

Seeing him in the Civil Corps jail was very bittersweet. You had many things you wanted to tell him

you did

but most of it was just you crying & yelling at him

and he let you

"My dear.. Just don't forget. I truly did love you & I still do. Unfortunately our paths must split here, I cannot undo the things I have done, as much as I wish I could, I would have stayed with you otherwise.. There is nothing more I can say to you, you are strong, you will get through this.. My love... Farewell."

for you and your childs sake he hopes you move on, as much as it tears him up inside, you are well loved in Sandrock, you will get through this, you aren't alone.. He is, alone, and he will have a long time to think about what he has done.

Grace & Logan are your best friends through the rest of your pregnancy.

Everyone in town cared about you & they made sure you knew that. You wouldn't be alone. They'd help you with your baby. Catori was always there giving you advice, considering she is a divorcee and a single mom! She might've not had as traumatic as a separation as you but she still gives you good tips, especially post birth recovery.

Fang sends you letters, requesting you check up with him during such a traumatic event, as well as general checkups to make sure your pregnancy is progressing healthily.

He's not much of a talker but he lets you cry & vent to him.

Through your visits to him though he starts to open up and he tries.. he really tries to talk to you to comfort you.

He is worried about your mental health and your own trauma helped connect him to you, he knows what it's like to lose someone, albeit, in a different way than you.

you really needed the support, some days it was hard for you to even get up out of bed anymore or even try to do anything, to have everyone so worried about you and checking up on you... it really did help you

As soon as he is out of jail you bet he is right outside of your workshop and checking on you don't refuse his help, you aren't getting out of it

helps maintain your workshop & runs around collecting materials for you (anything you ask for, he's got it!)

Logan feels like he owes it to you he feels like this is what howlett would have wanted him to do

Grace tries her best to make you nice meals for you! Even if she's not that good of a cook.. She just wants to be sure you are eating.

You bet Grace & Logan will help you once the baby is here, they will watch them for you & still assist with the workshop.

..Grace definitely cried when she had to go back to Atara.. But you but she will be doing anything she can to get back to Sandrock.

Grace may have not been here for when the baby was born but she sure did make it a priority to get back to Sandrock ASAP!! You were on her mind always!!

do I need to make it obvious that grace and logan may be crushing on you..? whatever, they will wait, they will wait until you are healed before even taking things there

they absolutely adore the baby ❤  ❤ 

you are so glad to have them while you recover mentally & physically.

and they are patient with you, they will be here for you. Always.

[anartisticalniche]

Alright everyone, real quick announcement regarding A Corsair Freebooter

I've decided, after some thought, to keep the AU a bit out of order.

This means that the main story, while already brainstormed and decided, wont be updating in a chronological order, or you wont see it anytime sooner for that matter.

I said I was going to show the worldbuilding and the slow but still long main plotline to how the gang got together and what brought them to how they are in the au.

However, I realized i just kinda... want to draw whatever i want for this au, and that i like to show some parts of it that would come later in the timeline rather than following it step by step.

So you will most likely get more doodles of the characters AFTER the main story way sooner than the prologue and preliminary parts of it.

i wanted to fight this urge to not show stuff that would have probably made more SENSE in a narrative way after that main plot, but then i said "screw it, its my au, i get to decide what i want to draw."

so yeah, if you were hoping for a more linear storyline where i show everything post after post, that wont be happening anymore😅 i hope thats alright with you

[sillybitchdisorder]

fun new kin experience for me,,, more canine traits becoming more and more a part of my identity, i think bc ive been getting more comfortable w my identity. like,, i dont Look like any sort of canine, im still very much only demon/monsterkin, but with Heavy canine-esque behavior which is very fun !!

not sure what terms i feel comfortable using for myself yet, since im still figuring it out,, like, i wouldnt quite call it a theriotype, but im not sure,,,

[daily-airimomoi-vitamins]

Sorry for disappearing!! We were low on stock and I needed more time to get my fresh meat

[nat-seal-well]

Allow me to horrify you by using my feet to pick stuff up from the ground for no reason other than laziness because I need my phone charger, which is on the ground by the bed, but I’m already comfy under the blankets

[kartsstuffig]

brainrot. just decided to make some shitty ms paint stuff.

cough cough @b00nk i drew a pepwiwi

[wonwoonlight]

when i first got into seventeen, a close friend who was a carat first would just. walk me through the svt lores until i was able to navigate myself through these 13 men's contents by myself. i genuinely don't think you would be able to get into seventeen by yourself without anyone's help sdjfhsdhbfsdf

[lesbiantruckers]

Pulled the skin off a trout fillet and huh that was a strange sensory experience

[lady-lauren]

[silvcrignis]

Me: *thinks I’m shit at making new friends*

Me: *makes an attempt anyway*

[phoenixdaneko]

Sammy Lawrence cradling y/n is his strong arms

Rando I can't draw people very well but uh here you go here's your goop man

[knifvd]

@ryusxnka asked : " There was nothing more you could have done. "

               (  you  wonder  if  he  knows  .  it's  a  grimey  feeling  :  the  anger  boiling  beneath  your  skin  , burns  loud  ,  burns  bright  ,  grey  girl  of  ice  singeing  herself  at  the  touch  .  you  wonder  if  he  knows  .  blank  stares  are  all  that  you've  offered  ,  all  you  can  offer  all  you  can  MUSTER  .  anger  is  hot  and  bitter  ,  never  been  much  of  a  DRINKER  ,  but  it's  what  you  can  only  assume  your  father  of  person  past  was  so  addicted  to  .  the  anger  or  the  booze  ?  they  look  the  same  to  you  .  you  wonder  if  he  knows  .  wondering  child  you  are  ,  even  as  you  ache  ,  you  wonder  ,  you  think  ,  you  explore  .  you  wonder  if  he  knows  .  you  wonder  if  he  knows  ,  knows  there's  nothing  left  :  talk  to  his  squad  member  as  much  as  he'd  like  but  there's  been  a  long  TIME  since  there  was  anything  left  inside  of  you  .  they'd  done  good  job  beating  it  out  of  you  ,  leaving  nothing  but  frost  at  in  the  shell  of  who  you  used  to  be  .   )

               "  there  was  nothing  more  you  could  have  done  .  "  it's  an  ODD  SENSATION  ,  she  knows  it  must  be  ,  to  take  comfort  in  something  so  pulled  away  :  even  now  he's  nothing  short  of  tragedy  .  (   tragedy  recognizes  TRAGEDY  :  no  less  than  looking  in  a  mirror  when  seeing  features  ,  bred  from  the  same  ice  you  take  so  much  comfort  in  .  athiest  angel  you  are,  you  pray  for  better  days  for  the  two  of  you  :  for  the  things  you  don't  speak  about  ,  can't  speak  about  .  )  "  there  was  nothing  more  you  could  have  done  .  "

              aiko  doesn't  look  from  the  training  dummy  :  mind  not  as  hands  bleed  crimson  ,  as  strike  after  STRIKE  finds  it's  way  to  the  training  dummy  .  blood  decorates  it  like  peculiar crimson  stars  ,  and  only  when  she  pauses  does  the  sigh  of  relief  she  DIDN'T  know  she  was  taking  escape  her  lips  .  (   you  should've  been  better  .  you  should've  been  better  .  NOT  SURE  who  speaks  it  into  her  brain  ,  but  sounds  like  familiar  voice  she  spent  years  dreading  .  scrub  it  from  your  brain  as  much  as  you'd  LIKE  , but  it's  still  woven  into  your  soul  .  know  it  because  everytime  you  hear  something  even  SIMILAR  to  him  it  most  nearly  brings  you  to  your  knees  .  )  tries  to  believe  his  words  ,  hands  trembling  as  she  OPENS  and  closes  ,  opens  and  CLOSES  .  little  red  moons  that  match  the  DUMMY'S  stars  find  themselves  on  her  palms  ,  raw  skin  purpling  and  bruising  around  knuckles  .  she  bleeds  red  .  even  now  ,  she  bleeds  red  .

        (  HE  COULDN'T  get  it  .  not  all  of  it  .  spent  years  of  your  life  SCRUBBING  you  of  anything  close  to  human  ,  only  for  it  to  be  broken  down  by  that  of  those  who  should've  cared  for  you  .  it  was  supposed  to  be  your  new  chance  at  LIFE  . "  life  .  "  scrubbed  you  of  it  in  order  to  make  you  nothing  short  of  canvas  but  they  painted  all  over  you  ,  and  you're  left  with  nothing  but  the  anger  of  tragedy  girl  you  were  ,  you  are  ,  and  will  be  .  it  follows  you  .  even  now  .  tragedy  .  maybe  that's  why  you  fail  .  maybe  dad  was  right  .  failure  girl  you  were  ,  you  are  ,  and  will  be  .  )

       reaper  hasn't  looked  at  her  captain  once  .  "  thanks  ,  "  voice  small  ,  flat  ,  lingers  with  some  kind  of  finality .  voice  still  freezes  over  with  ice  ,  almost  enough  that  would  put  her  captain's  to  shame  .  hands  to  dig  back  into  palms  , back  into  cut  crescent  moons  ,  as  she  strikes  the  wooden  DUMMY  once  more  ,  widening  injury  on  knuckles  :  wooden  mask  on  it  to  crack  in  half  at  her  actions  ,  littered  with  her  own  blood  .

          (  there  was  nothing  more  you  could  have  done  .  so  ,  you  two  fall  back  into  the  fun  little  game you two share .  he  tells  you  lies  that  he  does  not   believe  ,  and  you  choke  them  down  without  a  chaser  ,  and  see  who  falters  first  .  )

                                   𝙈𝙄𝙎𝘾. 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎𝙏. 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜!

[minotaurfemme]

cant believe i actually painted today what the hell