#I JUST CARE A LOT ABOUT GLENN CLOSE OK

[thezoneoftruth]

& honestly throughout the entire campaign, whenever there was a moment for glenn to have a heart to heart, his issues were always the hardest to solve and easiest to set aside for next time.

bc glenn’s the goofball, the comic relief! it’s hard to help someone who plays it off because you want to believe it’ll work out for him, you HAVE to believe it’ll work out for him.

glenn’s the good time dude, the party boy, the devil may care rockstar. he’s never had or given himself the time to look within & when he finally does have the time, the years, to do so it’s a missed opportunity. what breaks my heart is that it’s the same for nick, he is his father’s son.

i think the reason why glenn’s intervention in ep 66 feels so ultimately dissatisfying is bc he says there was introspection and growth during his solitary confinement but freddie, the player, was never given the room or tools to explore that

[mrslankyman]

Do I Wanna Know?

Wrote this a while ago - 2,906 Words

Daryl Dixon - Prison Era (Not based on any episode in series)

February 12, 2012

As far as I know today is February 12. That's what Carol tells me. She keeps the days tracked. I guess she does a lot around here.

She's pretty reliable. Rick's been out scouting for a while. We're running low on supplies. Might have to make a trip to the closest town.

I head out of the main corridor of the prison where we've been staying. Pulling my pistol out from my holster and switching it into my dominant hand.

I opened the door that lead outside. The sun hit my face and I squinted. Living in the dark of the prison sure as hell made your eyes sensitive to any bright lights.

I passed Glenn and gave a curt nod. He was heading to the watch post for his daily steak out. I walked up to the fence. Looking out into the field. Only a few walkers today. Better than yesterday. There was a whole hoard out there. Thank god for Daryl. Him and his cross bow. That damn cross bow. He loves that thing more than anyone.

Speaking of the devil the familiar sound of a motorcycle filled my ears. I turned to the gate as Glenn pushed it open. Daryl came riding into the prison. Stopping his bike and taking the keys out of the ignition. He unwrapped the three rabbits he had killed. Of course he was out hunting. When wasn't he doing something? He barely slept because he refused to be useless.

"What ya catch out there Daryl?" Carol asked walking out of the Prison. Daryl looked up at her and held up the three rabbits. "Nice." She smiled and took them from Daryl. Forgot, the cook and the hunter were best friends. I groaned and looked back out into the field. Everyone in the group seemed to have someone.

I was just left out. I joined late and it felt like when you joined a friend group but the kids before had been friends for years. I was always the odd one out. At least I can survive here. That I am grateful for.

"What are you doing just staring off into the field?" A low voice asked behind me. I'd be lying if when I first joined that voice didn't set me off. In a good way.

Now it's just a constant reminder that I'm just lonesome. Daryl never cared for me. I knew from the day I joined. At first he tried to come across as friendly. In his own way. He just said Hello. Which was more than anyone else did. After about a week I guess he got tired of it.

"Yes I am. Does it bother you Dixon?" I asked not looking at him. My voice was laced with attitude. Hoping he got the point to leave me alone. It was what he did best. Ignoring me.

Daryl must've gotten annoyed. At least I assume because I heard him turn away and head inside. I let out a sigh and put my pistol in its holster on my waist. "I hope this shit ends one day." Such an idiotic thought. It was never going to end. The world was over.

-----

"Alright, we need to plan out the group's going out for supplies tomorrow." Rick said as we all sat down to eat. "We need more canned foods, medicine, and first aid supplies. Ammo too if we can find any." As Rick carried on I looked over to Daryl.

He was sitting next to Carol on the floor. They were talking about what I don't know. I rolled my eyes. He was starting to get really close with Carol. It was annoying seeing him make friends. I don't know why but it did.

"Y/N did you hear me?" Rick's voice pierced through my ears. The angry dad tone. I looked up at him. "What?" I asked. "You and Daryl are going out to Greens Burrow to search the market place up there for food." Rick said pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ok everyone else listen up." Rick said gathering everyone else attention again.

I looked over at Daryl. He was looking back at me and chuckling.

I guess me getting scolded is what made a almost 40 year old man laugh now a days. I rolled my eyes and ate my stew.

----

After we all ate dinner everyone headed to their cells to sleep. Besides Rick. He headed out of the prison. I assume to go on watch or snoop around somewhere. I don't really care.

As I headed down the short walk way to my cell I bumped into a broad shoulder. I looked up and groaned. Daryl. "Watch where ya going." He huffed out. I rolled my eyes and went to walk past him. "Annoying asshole." I mumbled under my breath.

A hand grabbed the back of my shirt collar and slammed me into the cement wall. I groaned as a slight rush of pain pierced my head.

Daryl looked down at me. His hand holding my shirt to the wall. He leaned closer his eyes squinting at me. "Wha'd ya call me?" He asked in a low whisper.

I glared at the man in front of me. No way in hell he was talking to me like this. "Wha'd ya think?" I mocked him.

I smirked a little in sanctification as the annoyances crept its way onto his face. "Is the big hunts man mad?" I teased as his hand bunched into fist. I took the opportunity before he could speak to flip our positions.

I slammed him into the wall. Watching as his eyes widen in shock. "Before you go around shoving women into walls.." I leaned into his ear. "Make sure shes not a professionally trained wrestler." His face scrunched up.

I laughed as I let go of him. "Ass hole." I cooed as I walked off to my cell. Completely satisfied for once.

----

"I seriously cannot believe I have to go with you. Rick could've chosen anyone." I complained as I fixed my pistol in my holster.

Daryl was getting his bike ready. "Stop complaining." He grumbled in annoyance. He got on his bike and looked at me. I stared at him confused.

"Get on the fuck are ya doin?" He asked as I still stood there. In utter silence. "I'm not getting on that bike with you." I rolled my eyes.

He leaned his head back in exasperation. I was making this hell for him. I could tell. I kinda liked it.

"I'm gonna leave without ya." He kicked up the kick stand of his bike and revved it up. "Fine! But only because I don't feel like walking." I saw him smirk slightly from the side mirrors on his bike. Our eyes caught each other and he stared at me for a second before looking away.

I walked up to the bike and threw my right leg over the seat and sat down. "You're gonna have to hold on." He said as he revved the bike up again. "I think I can balance." I rolled my eyes. "Sure." He chuckled as the gates opened.

He revved the bike up one more time before shooting out of the prison and onto the road ahead. My body wobbled and I flung my arms forward. Wrapping them around Daryl's waist.

Daryl Pov

I knew she wouldn't be able to balance. I felt her arms wrap around me and bit my lip. The breeze of the wind flowing my hair felt nice. But not as nice as this. I'll admit it's been a while since someone has ever touched me like this. Maybe that's why I don't mind.

Or maybe I just wanted to prove her right. I closed my eyes slightly. It was nice to get out of the prison. Even with the dead being all over.

My thoughts slipped to last night. Her slamming me against the wall. Her face as she leaned into my ear. Her voice.. I felt a shiver run down my spine. No I couldn't like this snobby woman. She was also keeping to her self. A strange woman in a now strange world. Not so strange at all If you really think about it.

I'm too hypocritical.

I was and still am like that. Sure I've gotten closer to a lot of our people but I still keep my distance. I opened my eyes. Watching ahead for any walkers or living people.

I could see in my right side mirror Y/N looking around. She looked nice with the wind blowing her hair. A carefree look on her face.

I looked ahead and kept going. All the way to Greens Burrow. Trying my best to ignore the thoughts I had of the woman behind me. I'm just going crazy. This world has changed me.

----

I stopped at the local market. I kicked down my bikes kick stand and waited for Y/N to get off. Once she did I got off too.

She grabbed a stray shopping cart and headed inside. She better not fill that shitty thing up. The two bags on my bike only had enough room for a few things. If we found any.

I shoved open the door. Carts and random shelves blocked the entrance. We climbed over them and got to the main center of the store. Empty shelves and random new papers littered the room.

I looked over at Y/N to ask her what we should do but she was already walking off. Pushing the cart down a random isle all the way at the back of the store.

"Is she dumb?" I asked myself as I followed her. I left my cross bow back at the prison. Fuck. I pulled out my pistol from my holster and lifted it up. Checking each isle as I walked over to her.

This idiot could've been eaten. I guess not everyone is as smart as you think.

Once I finally made it to her I saw the cart. Stock pilled of random canned goods and chips. "We can't take all of that." I grumbled as I lowered my pistol.

"We can just take some and then come back for the rest." She shrugged like it was no big deal. She is starting to really piss me off.

"I do not wanna be stuck running around all day with an idiot." I pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance. I felt her hand pat my chest and I looked down at her. "Get over it." She smiled but her tone was rather angry.

I shoved her away and headed off down the rest of the isle. Checking for walkers so this idiot of a woman doesn't die.

----

Regular POV

It's been about a week since me and Daryl's run. He has been avidly ignoring me. I guess I really pissed him off when I said this walker with the ugliest fucking face looking like him. I thought it was funny.

Today I was out checking the other cells around the prison. Killing any walkers that I stumbled into or that stumbled into me. I had finally made it to the end of cell block E.

I was going to be late for dinner. Oh well. I headed back to the front of the prison and walked into the main cell block we were all settled in. Just as I thought.

Everyone had ate and there was nothing left. I groaned and mentally cursed Rick for giving me the worst jobs. I lowered my head and started walking up to the stairs.

"Not gonna eat?" A familiar deep voice asked. I looked over at Daryl. He was holding a bowl of stew. I rolled my eyes. "No." I huffed and turned to keep walking.

"Come on and eat. I don't need you to starve." He insisted. Talking to me like he cared.

"Why do you care if I starve?" I sneered. He just gave me a look. The 'you better do what I say.' look. I gave up and walked back down the steps and over to him. He held out the bowl to me and I took it.

"Thanks.." I say unsure. Should I be thanking him or telling him off? He had ignored me for a whole week.

Why do you care about me so much all of a sudden? You ignored me all week." I antagonized him. He just stared at me. Bitting his bottom lip. 

"I didn't ignore you. Now good night." He turned away and began to walk up the stairs to his cell. I rolled my eyes and started to eat my stew.

Then it hit me.

He wasn't ignoring me. At least he was verbally.

He would purposely bump into me and give me a rude look. Even if it was his fault. He'd look at me anytime we all ate dinner together. Constantly pick the same time to do guard duty as me. Even if he didn't speak to me.

I shook my head. Maybe I was just over thinking it. We were in a prison after all. With maybe 10 people. It's bound that we bump into each other and have the same shifts.

———

Again. Today I had to check Cell block A. I groaned as I walked down the hall. I was always chosen for the dumb jobs. I headed into a cell unit. Checking each cell for any sign of life .. or death. As I got to the end of the cell block a hand grabbed me and pushed me down to the grown.

"Ah- what the hell.." I looked up at the walker infront of me. It's jaws slammed together as I pushed it away with my hand. Keeping its mouth away from my face and neck. "ah- fuck!" I looked over to my side. My gun had fallen out.

"Shit shit shit! I kicked at the walker. It didn't budge. I tried shoving it off. No use. My arms grew tired and I trembled under the weight of the dead. This can't be how I die. No way.

As the Walker lowered its self. Close enough to take a bite out of my flesh. I swear I could've felt the pain of teeth bitting into my skin. A loud 'phew' echoed and an arrow pierced the Walker through the head. It flopped down. I pushed it off my quickly and scrambled away from it. Catching my breath.

Daryl stood at the end of the corridor. His crossbow in hand. He lowered it and walked over. Pulling the arrow out of the walkers head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked still trying to recover from the shock.

"Saving you. Dumb ass." He grumbled and set his cross bow down. He walked over to me and held out his hand. I hesitantly held my hand out and took his. He pulled me up and I stumbled into him.

He looked down at me as I looked up at him. "I heard you. I was walking around tryna find you to tell ya dinner was done. Since you missed it the day before." His voice echoed in my head. This time it wasn't annoying.

"Oh really? What makes you care so much if I miss dinner? It just mean more food for you. I don't get why you're trying to be so nice to me but stop."

He stared at me. His eyes narrowing slowly. "I just saved ya. Doesn't it prove I are about ya?! Do I have to spell it out!" He yelled flipping his arms into the air and back down.

"Why did you save me? Aren't I just an annoyance to you?" I went on. His hands bunched up into fist. "Maybe you are!" He sneered.

"Good I like being the reason you're so mad." I smirked and pushed him against the wall. He stared at me. Slowly catching onto my game. "Agitating you makes my day." I clicked my tongue in his face at the end of the sentence.

He bit his lip and glared at me. His hands grabbing my sides slowly but firmly. My heart rushed slightly. I pushed the feeling down. I wanted him to make the first move.

"Maybe I like that you agitate me." He added on, pulling me closer by the waist. His voice was deeper now. More low and quite.

I pressed my body against his. My arms wrapped around his neck. "I like that you like it." I whispered in his ear in a slow, low tone. I could feel him growing hard as each one of my silky smooth words touched his ear.

I pulled away and looked at him. I laughed slightly. Who knew a women could make a grown man melt at a few words so easily.

"Maybe I'll-"

He cut me off and pressed me against his chest. "Just shut up and kiss me." He demanded. I smirked and gladly listened. Pressing my lips against his cold chapped ones. His stumble rubbed against my face and I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on more.

We stayed like that for a few minuets. Just kissing and saying things I'm sure he wouldn't want the others to know about. Men get embarrassed so easily.

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

go big or go home

this was a request from @kk2016

Hi!! could you write about being pregnant with Harry but no one knew so you guys show up to the Grammys together and everyone can see your baby bump through your dress?

here is the link to the dress you’re wearing. I have no idea if this is a good option, I’m terrible with fashion :) but I thought it was cute! If you hate it, definitely just imagine something else :)

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 2.8k

It wasn't exactly hard to hide a pregnancy during a pandemic. You barely left the house, and if you did, you weren't recognized. The one time you and Harry had been spotted, you had only been 4 months along and were wearing an oversized sweater. So it was safe to say this baby was your family's little secret.

Harry knew, of course. He had been the first person to know (after Anne and the doctor who confirmed the pregnancy). You had got around to telling the rest of your families after the first trimester was over. The "inner circle," as you liked to call it, were the few people who were aware. This consisted of your parents, Anne, Gemma, Harry's band, Jeff and Glenne. That was it. Neither of you were wild on the idea of Harry's entire fanbase knowing, so you kept it under wraps as best you could.

Which, once again, wasn't hard to do. You didn't even have to go out for groceries; they could be delivered. You could buy everything for the nursery online and have it sent directly to your front doorstep. You and Harry had stayed inside for the better part of the past seven months.

However, there was one event coming up that you absolutely refused miss out on. The Grammys. At first, Harry thought you should stay home. He was worried you would get sick, and how it might affect the baby. He was worried about his fans finding out. He was worried he wouldn't win and he would have to see your disappointed face right next to him.

Of course, you were not about to let this happen. You assured him you wouldn't get within six feet of anyone besides him. You wouldn't shake anyone's hand or hug anyone. You would wear two masks, if it would make him feel safer. You would shower in hand sanitizer. You really didn't care what you had to do; you were not going to miss this night.

"Harry, I swear to God, if you keep giving me that terrified look..."

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, dragging a hand over his face. "I'm allowed to be a little apprehensive. This really isn't a good idea, I think it might be best if you just stay home. I just-"

"Absolutely not," you spun around, placing your hands on your hips. "I'm going to be there, in person, so I can watch my husband become a Grammy winner."

"You can watch from here!" He argued. "Plus, that way, you don't have to walk around all night. I know your feet have been bugging you, and-"

"Don't use this pregnancy against me!" You threw your head back, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm not," he said, stepping closer and resting his hands on your belly. "I just want you to be safe. You and our little girl."

"I know," you brought up your hand to brush along his cheekbone. "And we will be. I'm not going to get close to anyone. I'm not going to touch anything. I'm going to have two masks on the entire night. Harry, there won't be anyone safer than me this whole night. I promise."

"I just..."

When he didn't finish his sentence, you leaned in to meet his eyes. "What are you really worried about?"

"Lots of things," he murmured. "Besides the literal plague? I'm worried about people finding out and being cruel. I don't want to deal with that, and I don't ever want you to be exposed to it. I'm worried something bad will happen, and it'll be all my fault for letting you come along. And... I'm worried you'll be disappointed if I don't win." His last sentence was so quiet you barely heard it, but it still made your heart ache.

"Baby..." You said quietly, your voice sad. You ignored his other two worries for now, because this one was clearly the most important to deal with. “You think I'll be disappointed in you?"

He nodded, looking at his hands on you instead of meeting your eyes. "Everything I do, it's all for you. You and her. What if it's not enough? What if I fail?"

"Harry," you kept your hands on his face, directing him to look at you. "I will never, ever be disappointed in you. You are amazing, in everything you do. Understand? I personally think you will be a three time Grammy winner at the end of the night-" he grinned at this- "But even if you're not, I will still be so incredibly proud of you. I will always, always be proud of you, and I will always love you. Okay?"

He didn't move, but you used your grip on his face to nod his head up and down. His smile grew bigger, and he grabbed your wrist gently. He turned his head to kiss your palm, sighing softly before he pulled away.

"I love you so much," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me feel better. You always know exactly what to say."

You shrugged with a small smile. "I'm just amazing, I think."

"I think so too."

-----

You were sitting on the couch, dressed in your normal quarantine clothing. Hoodies. Sweatpants for him, leggings for you. Why would you get dressed up for a virtual acceptance ceremony?

You bounced excitedly as they announced "Adore You" as one of the nominations for best music video. Harry smiled when you gripped his arm.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," he admitted.

"Well, you're just a ray of sunshine today," you huffed. "Here it comes!"

"And the Grammy goes to... Beyoncé, Blue Ivy, and WizKid."

You slumped back slightly, patting his arm.

He laughed lightly at your reaction. "She deserves it."

You nodded. "Not to be mean to you, but yeah, she definitely does."

-----

As the hours wore on, you could tell Harry was getting more nervous.

"It's just- it's my first performance in a while. What if it's not good?"

"Harry," you grabbed his face again. "It will be amazing. Yes?"

Again, he didn't respond. Again, you had to physically move his head up and down in a nod. Again, this made him laugh. It was a small gesture, but you could tell it helped calm him down at least a little bit.

"There's one thing we haven't talked about," he pulled away from you, going through his drawers to find his socks.

"What's that?"

"Your outfit."

You shook your head. "I already picked my dress." You pulled out the garment bag, unzipping it to show him. It was fairly simple; you didn't want to overshadow him on his big day.

He smiled. "It's beautiful."

You nodded. "We're going to look so hot together."

"Couple of the year, I think."

"We might break the internet. Seriously. You're wearing a leather jacket with no shirt and I'm pregnant. Twitter is going to explode."

He laughed again, pulling you into his arms. "Are you sure you're ok with everyone knowing? It might not be good, people's reactions can be really-"

"You do realize they will have to find out at some time, right? You can't exactly hide a child forever."

"I know," he sighed. "I just like living in our little bubble, where it's only me and you who know."

"And your mom. And Gemma. And my parents. And Sarah, and Mitch, and Adam, and Ny, and Charlotte, and Jeff and-"

"Alright, alright, you've made your point," he chuckled. "But you know what I mean."

"I do," you nodded. "And I'm ok with people knowing. Besides, it'll blow over soon. I can just stay off socials until it does."

Harry sighed again. "I wish you didn't have to. I wish people would just..."

"Treat people with kindness," you grinned. "Maybe they don't know. Maybe you should tell them to do that sometime."

He rolled his eyes playfully, pulling away from you. "You're funny."

"Hilarious, I know."

"I have to get ready," he sighed. "One last try- are you sure you don't want to stay home?"

"Not a chance," you smiled. "Now shoo so I can get dressed."

-----

His hands were shaking as he opened the door of his dressing room. You gripped his arm tighter, trying to remind him you were here for him.

"Everything's going to be ok," you said softly.

He nodded, but his hands still shook.

"I'll be right offstage, you can look at me if you get nervous," you reminded him. "This might not be the time, but I'm, like, really excited to see you perform."

"Yeah?" He gave a small smile.

You nodded. "It's been a while since I've been able to see that. And you look... very nice in this outfit."

"Very nice, huh?" He laughed. "What a compliment."

"I do have a way with words," you grinned.

"Always," he leaned his forehead against yours. "Now what was it you said earlier? Shoo, so I can get dressed."

"I'll be just offstage," you reminded him one last time, blowing him a kiss as you stepped out of the room.

-----

You couldn't take your eyes off him for the entire performance. He was worried for no reason, because he was incredible. He was born to do this, you could tell.

You cheered louder than anyone else when he finished, earning a cheeky smile from him. As soon as he could get away, he ran over to you and enveloped you in his arms.

"I told you you'd be amazing," you whispered.

He nodded, wearing the biggest smile you'd seen in days. "Couldn't have done it without you."

"I didn't do anything," you laughed.

"No, I couldn't have done it without your moral support," he clarified.

"Right, moral support," you nodded seriously before breaking into a smile again. "But really, that was amazing. You're perfect."

"That's all you, love," he returned the compliment, turning back around to watch Billie performing. He kept his arm around you, though. The camera panned to you a few times during the different performances, and you knew by this point the viewers at home had seen your bump. Your dress wasn't very tight fitting, but you were almost 8 months along. You were sure social media was exploding by now.

You didn't have to worry about that though, not yet at least. You had a few more hours of calm.

-----

Harry's nerves had apparently returned once you got to the table. His hand was gripping yours even tighter than before and his leg bounced constantly. You placed your hand on his thigh, trying to calm his frantic movements. His eyes went to yours, and you could tell he was smiling under his mask.

"It will be fine," you reminded him. "Everything will be ok. You already did the hard part, remember?"

He nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Right. And soon, we can go home, and sit on the couch, and eat ice cream."

"Exactly," you smiled. "And I can get back in my leggings and not get dressed again for the next 6 months."

He laughed at this, and his grip on your hand loosened. He still kept hold of you, but you could tell he wasn't so nervous anymore.

"Ok, shh, they're announcing it now," you said excitedly.

Harry looked down, apparently seized with nerves again.

"And the Grammy goes to... Watermelon Sugar, Harry Styles."

His eyes went wide, and your face split into a giant grin. He reached his arm out to grab yours, almost like he didn't believe what had just happened.

He pulled his mask off, standing up. He took your hand, gesturing for you to stand too, so of course you obliged. He pulled you against him, and you could feel how fast his heart was beating. When he pulled away, you smiled up at him.

"I knew you would win," you said softly, still beaming. "Now go!" You gave his shoulder a gentle push toward the stage.

"Wow, um..." He blew out a breath, looking at you before he spoke again. "To everyone who made this record with me, thank you so much. This was the first song we wrote after my first album came out, during a day off in Nashville, and I just want to say thanks to Tom, Tyler, Mitch, and everyone... Rob Stringer, and everyone at Colombia, my manager Jeffery, who has always nudged me to be better and never pushed me, thank you so much. I feel very grateful to be here, thank you. All of these songs are fucking massive, so thank you so much, I feel very honored to be here among all of you, so thank you so much. And I want to say-" he looked at you again, a smile of adoration crossing his face. "Most importantly, thank you to my wife. Y/N, I love you more than anything else on this planet, and I couldn't have done any of this without you. You make it all possible, so... thank you to the light of my life, and of course our daughter." His eyes went wide at the last sentence, like he hadn't planned to say that. He looked around nervously before he quickly made his way back to his seat.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, it slipped out-"

You shook your head, taking his hand. "It's ok, don't worry about it," you smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

He put his mask back on, but it didn't hide the happiness on his face.

-----  

Once everything was over and you had both climbed into the car to go home, it seemed to really hit him.

"I won a Grammy," he said in disbelief, looking down at the award in his hands.

"You won a Grammy," you repeated with a big smile on your face. "Grammy winner Harry Styles."

"Yeah," he looked back up at you, his eyes still wide. "That's... insane."

You nodded. "And very impressive. And I'm so proud of you."

He smiled, scooting closer so he could put his arm around you. "Grammy winner Harry Styles... and his amazing wife."

"And their amazing daughter," you added, placing his other hand over your stomach. "Feel that? She's been kicking all night. She's excited for you."

He grinned, before his face dropped back into one of concern. "Are you sure you're ok with what I said? I really didn't mean to, I just got caught up, it-"

"Baby," you stopped him. "I promise, it's ok. Besides, everyone knew the minute I walked in there."

"Right," he nodded. "Has your phone been blowing up?"

You shrugged. "I turned it off. Should we check?"

"I'm a little nervous," he admitted.

"I'm gonna do it." You fished your phone out of your purse, eyes widening when you saw how many notifications you had. From every possible app. Congratulations texts, excited DMs, missed calls, and then there were the mentions. There were well over a hundred on your lockscreen alone.

You cleared all of them, deciding to open Twitter and see how bad it was. You were very pleasantly surprised.

"harry's daughter" was #1 on the trending page, and "harry in leather" was right behind it. Clicking on the first one, you found several GIFs of the terrified look on Harry's face when he accidentally made the announcement. You smiled, but scrolled further. Hundreds of fans were typing in all caps, apparently very excited that Harry was going to be a father.

"You're right, we broke the internet," he grinned, looking through his own timeline. "I've seen my bare chest more in the last five minutes than my entire life before this."

"What a power couple we are," you laughed. "We got the top two trending spots."

"What an accomplishment," he joked.

You scrolled for a few more minutes, still yet to see a negative message. "You were worried for nothing, babe. They're all very excited for us."

"I see that," he grinned. "They've also named our baby for us, and somehow know her zodiac sign."

"Oh, wonderful," you laughed. "But really, it could have been worse."

"Definitely," he nodded. "Well, that's one way to announce a pregnancy. On live TV in front of the entire nation."

"Yeah, you know, go big or go home."

"Exactly."

Closing Twitter, you moved on to Instagram. You gasped when you saw the first picture on your feed. "Sarah posted her bump! Now we can be baby buddies in public, not just in secret."

Harry smiled, turning off his phone and pulling you closer to him.

"omg, baby buddies :)" you commented. Within seconds, Sarah had liked the comment and replied with "they will be best friends😊"

With that, you turned off your own device and leaned into his side. "What a good night. Aren't you glad I came with you?"

"I am," he admitted. "Very glad. Thanks for being stubborn."

"Always."

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[sweetsbfreex]

you’re amazing, don’t worry

A few days before you were laying in bed. Harry laid on his back, while you were on your side, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and your head on his chest. Watching the television displayed on the wall. 

“Can we talk about something before we both doze off?” he asked quietly, his arm going lazily up and down your arm. 

“Sure” you replied sitting up, crossing your legs. While Harry also sat up, pausing the tv too. 

“I know we’ve talked about it a few times, but I think we should go public” he said quickly, which is something when you’re speaking about Harry.

“You- you wanna go public, like let everyone know we’re dating?”

“Yeah I mean, you know the movie premiere is this weekend and I really want to walk the red carpet with you by me” he stated, reaching for your hand in the midst of it. 

“H-”

“I know, I know baby, but I think this could be the perfect time. We can get it over with” he said shuffling closer “I could finally show my girl off to everyone hm?” placing his palm on your cheek, thumb grazing the apex of your cheek. 

You loved Harry; you really did. He is your person, but you just weren’t sure about this. Having to put up with your social anxiety, big events, crowded places, and new people just weren’t your thing. You remember the first time you had met the band, a fidgeting mess, was all you were. 

The door opened to his studio, a smiling, giddy Harry on the other side. You however, were the complete opposite. Your stomach was a mess and your fingers wouldn’t stop fidgeting with the rings on your fingers or the necklace around your neck.

Harry could see from the doorway, pulling you into a bone crushing hug (letting the door close behind him) filled with love, whispering into your ears words to affirm you. “Hi, you’re amazing, don't worry,” he said kissing, your lips.

You smiled up at him showing your thanks, clasping your hands together “Thank you...Oh also can you let the lady in the front office know I said good morning back, my voice just wouldn’t project,” you whispered the last part, earning a chuckle from Harry. 

“Yes I'll do it, you about ready to meet everyone” he asked, looking down at you, concern displayed on his face from the way his eyebrows furrowed together. 

“Can we just stand out here for a bit” you asked. 

“Of course, just let me know when you’re ready. I promise they're not as bad as I make them seem” he says grinning, as he brings his hands put to clasp your face, setting kisses to your forehead. 

When you were finally ready, Harry opened the door, your hand holding onto his tightly, as you trailed behind him. 

‘Am I walking funnily? No you’re fine just don't trip or anything’ you tell yourself, breathing a deep breath in holding it and letting it go. 

“Lads this is y/n!” he pronounced elatedly, stepping to the side so you would be in view, looking down at you tranquil. You could see, looking back a thin briefly the crinkles around his eyes were striking and his dimples deep. 

“baby, this is Mitch, Sarah, you already know Jeff, Ny Oh, Adam, and Charlotte”. You knew Mitch was a man of not many words, so you weren’t too worried about conversing with him.

‘don't sound stupid, don't sound stupid, don't sound...’

A variety of heys were thrown at you from everybody in, you squeaked out a hi hoping everyone had heard and a wave. 

Harry had then pulled you both to sit down in one of the free spaces of the couches resting against the walls of the studio. 

“So y/n, H says your interning at Pinterest, that’s really cool” Sarah says

“Oh yea..Uh, I just look at a bunch of numbers and statistics, nothing too fun” you say, your voice wavering. But inside you could swear your heart was doing cartwheels when you had realized Harry talks about you to his friends. 

“I don't think it’s boring, she’s brilliant, she looks at all these gigantic numbers and comes up with these summaries, it’s amazing” Harry parades, wrapping his arm around your torso.

“Thank you H” you murmur, your cheeks heating up. 

As the time continued before you had to go. There was a lot of Harry intervening because you weren’t really sure what to ask or say, too on the fence of not embarrassing yourself in front of his friends, but luckily as time went on things had gotten better, to the point you didn’t break down before hanging out with any of them. 

“But all those people bub and the cameras, I don’t know, my anxie-”

“I know I can’t control it, but I’ll be there with you the whole time. You don’t even have to tell me your answer right now, whenever you’re ready okay?”

“Yea, thank you” you say. Getting up to stand on your knees, pulling Harry into a hug. A breath of relief coursing all over you. 

“You don’t have to thank me, petal, just want you comfortable”

                                                          -

Now here you were getting ready for the event, sporting a beautiful black dress that had an ascending slit running up the side of the dress. 

“You look beautiful, angel” harry gushed walking over to you, taking your hand as he guided you to do a quick twirl “very easy on the eyes” using that same hand to stop your twirl and instead pull you into him, stationing his second on the curve of your ass. 

“Are you sure if you’re having any doubts it’s ok” he repeated for the umpteenth time. You don’t mean to sound the way you do, you were grateful of course for how caring and understanding he is.

But ever since you had told him yes, he’d check every day till now, just to see if you were sure, reassuring you that he wouldn't be mad if you change your mind, etc. 

“Harry-”

“I know I know, but I also know that you don’t like thinking that you're disappointing me”

“I hate you,” you mumble, bringing your forehead to rest against his shoulder, hating and loving the fact that he knew you so well, you could barely hide anything if you wanted to, but he couldn’t either. 

“Mhm” he hummed, grinning down at your distraught stance.

You brought your head from his shoulder, smiling up at him for reassurance “I promise I'm fine, it’s okay”

                                                           -

This was not okay, you should’ve listened to Harry.

Now in the limo, on the way to the event, it was you, Harry, the band, Jeff, and his girlfriend–Glenne. 

Your foot tapped arrhythmic, both hands tightly clasped around one of Harry’s. It felt like you were going down a really really really high rollercoaster, with how your stomach was twisted a never-ending knot of wires. 

fuck, did it really hurt. 

“Love are you sure you’re okay?” 

“mhm” you responded, nodding quickly letting go of the tense hold you had on Harry’s hand. 

Conversation was flying around you, but you couldn't find yourself to join in with how into your head you were. Thought after thought flying high and low, some doubtful, some embarrassing, and some down right annoying. But you couldn’t help it. What if you had something in your teeth, or you stood awkward, or you trip just walking down the carpet (over nothing which would be even worse). 

God, you were a mess. And the intense analyzing look Harry was giving you was not helping. 

“Okay we’re here guys!” Jeff let out, clapping his hands together a singular time, while everyone else let out their excitement. 

‘When did the car stop?!’

Jeff was the first to get out, everyone else following suit until you were the only one. Looking up from your seat near the door, Harry stood outside, hand reaching out towards you. 

“You ready love?”

You could feel your throat clogging up from those words, the wires in your stomach only getting tighter by the second and in seconds your trembling hands were reaching up to wipe the tears running down your cheeks. Staring at all the interviewers with mics standing to the side of the carpet, the barricade holding back fans, and all the other people strutting their way down the carpet you weren’t sure you could handle all the eyes that would possibly be on you. 

“I- I don't think I can do it, I'm sorry H, 

I thought I could. I can't. I'm so sorry” you rambled, sniffling time to time. Finally looking up into Harry’s sad eyes, you also caught the glance of everyone else who looked at you with solace. 

“shh shh,” he started, passing through the door again to sit adjacent to you, quickly clasping your face in his, using his thumbs to brush away the never-ending tears. 

Your makeup was ruined, nose a debacle, as you tried bringing yourself together, but that didn't seem to work as you only began to hyperventilate. 

“Oh y/n” he said, bringing your head to lay on his chest, grabbing the handkerchief to wipe away at your runny nose. “Mate we’re gonna head out, Jeff let whoever needs to know it was an emergency or something, please,” he asked Jeff, awaiting his response until he could finally close the door which he did quickly.

“No no Harry you can't miss this, please I’ll just go home, it’s fine”

“it’s not fine, I'd have to be out of my mind to leave you like this, petal, it’s okay I'm not mad I promise” he reassured. 

On the way to his place the tears never stopped, thinking of how you had not only embarrassed yourself, but Harry too. 

“I'm sorry I'm really sorry H,” you cried into his chest, even his expensive suit you were messing up, this night could only get better. Only getting a hush and words of reassurance from Harry. 

                                                           -

You were laying on his bed, phone in hand as you scrolled through twitter. You knew this would happen, but you were just hoping by some miracle it wouldn't have, that maybe you’d finally reign control. Harry was in the closet putting on his sweats, and also fetching your makeup remover and clothes for the night. 

Harry Styles Ditched his OWN Premiere?!

What Happened to Harry Styles Tonight?

And last, but not least 

Harry Styles and Mystery Girl!, A picture of you and Harry in the limo, thankfully your face covered as it was pulled into Harry’s chest protectively. And another exactly like it, only difference is Harry’s distraught face was shown looking up at Jeff’s. 

“You shouldn’t be reading that rubbish,” his deep voice takes you by surprise, looking up as he stood in front of you. Your clothes in one hand and cotton pads and your make up remover in another. 

“I know” you mumble. “I couldn’t help myself”

“Do you want to get dressed, and we talk afterwards”

“Yeah” you say grasping the pile of clothes from his palm. Setting them on the bed as you stripped and changed there. Once you were done, you climbed on the bed sitting across from Harry who had just finished dabbing some of the liquid into two cotton pads, handing you the other one. 

You started removing the mascara and eye shadow, since they were sensitive, while Harry began wiping down your cheek.

“I'm sorry I embarrassed you, H”

He stopped his actions, dropping his hand away from your face. His eyebrows brought together and his mouth a line of what you could describe as disgust, but not likely, and one lip tucked up. 

“Why would you say something like that?” he asks, he grabs both your hands guiding you to sit on his lap. Your legs straddling his waist, wrapping both your arms over his neck. He sighed into your neck, bringing one hand to stroke the back of your head. “You didn’t embarrass me, baby, you reacted. You can’t help it, and I would never hold that against you, Yea?”

You nodded meekly in response. 

“I’m proud that you even tried to begin with, I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have forced you to go.” he says.

“Thank you... And it isn’t your fault, you didn’t force me to go. Just...I don’t know. All those people H, what if someone figures out it’s me. Now everyone will see me crying like a baby, it’s even worse that your friends saw me like that.” you sniffle. 

“I know I can’t magically fix this, but I promise you don’t even have to worry about them. They understand and won’t bring it up” he says trying to reassure you. 

“And if the public figures out it’s me, that’s a terrible first expression” you chuckle lowly.

Harry let’s a small laugh come out in return, grasping your face to pull you closer. “We’ll get to it, if it happens...how about after we get ready for bed, we go drive around a bit. Would that help a little?” he asks, eyes overflowing in empathy. 

“Yes please. Thank you again. I love you” you answer sniffling a small smile upon your face.

“I love you so much more”, he says bringing you in for a cuddle.

“We’re not starting this again” you grumble into his chest, receiving a giggle from him.

-

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

[lochnessies]

I feel like 3H discourse gets fucked over a bit by people not taking into account that characters will say inaccurate information (without it having to be a plot hole). Perspective is a huge theme in Three Houses and characters are going to make, sometimes, dramatic actions based off that misinformation.

yeah

Like, Dmitri accuses Edelgard of being involved in the Tragedy of Duscur, but, she was like, 12 when that happened. It’s a lot more likely that Edelgard was being experimented on or recovering from experimentation during that point in time considering that the Tragedy happens not long after Edelgard and Dmitri last see each other.

do i think edelgard was involved? nah. it’s one of the few things i genuinely believe her on. however, it isn’t unreasonable for dimitri to think she was somehow involved. i mean, faerghast is pretty standard medieval when it comes down to fighting. was sent to quell rebellions at like 14. that’s really young. and in the middle ages the standard age that boys trained to be nights was at the very least seven (glenn was 15 when he was full on knighted). felix says he learned to fight before he could write his own name and dimitri was already swinging swords at nine. not to mention she was in the kingdom and then not long after she leaves the tragedy happened. so it could also look like she was a spy even if she didn’t set lambert on fire herself.

then there’s the whole shit of her saying nothing. a whole nation gets wiped out and she has no plans to ever vindicate them. hell, even dedue says that her being involved in any way is unacceptable and he’s fucking pissed. is he delusional? is he being irrational and unfair to edelgard? she isn’t the victim here, dedue, his people, the kingdom royals and co. are.

Likewise, Setheth accuses Edelgard of trying to become a false goddess when that’s not even remotely close to her goals.

ok this part right here is the reason that this fucking thing took forever to come out (sorry anon). i have so much to say and i wanted to write it all but i decided to put in my edelgard essay instead. i then waited to post this answer but sadly it’s taking longer to edit than i planned and i feel bad so you’re going to have to wait for this bit. so if you stick around i’ll talk about that in depth in the essay but just know that i disagree with the op very much.

Edelgard makes a ton of false accusations and misconceptions about Rhea. She accuses Rhea of being a power hungry inhumane tyrant who has no regard for life outside her own when that just isn’t remotely accurate.

And then there’s Claude, literally the only major faction leader that cares to uncover the truth and nuances of everyone’s decisions. He’s literally the only faction leader to not act like his version of events is the definitive truth. He acknowledges that he and Edelgard are fighting for similar things: a system overhaul of Fodlan. He also doesn’t oppose the Church because he’s learned enough about it to want to keep it’s institution in place. That’s why he’s the only faction leader that can survive in every route (I’d consider Seteth and Rhea to share the role as Church Leader since Seteth leads the Church Route but Rhea’s the one actually in charge of the Church). Claude is also the only leader that doesn’t make any false claims about other factions. I said a while ago that Claude would make the best ruler and this is why.

ok this is fine

But going back to what I said earlier about discourse, this impacts discourse drastically because people can just pick whichever version of events they prefer and there’s probably a character who claimed it went that way. The plot also doesn’t seek to clarify events one way or the other in any route. So even if you’ve played every route, it’s up to the player to make judgment calls on who’s speaking out of their ass.

except it’s literally not. we are told what routes have correct information from the devs themselves. and unreliable narrators can be proven and disproven when you put their words against everyone else, their actions, and the lore.

Between all the relevant character and plot details the game hides behind supports, endings, and other easily missable content and the fact that no two characters interpret the series of events that happen in the plot the same way (due to coming from various background, being present for some stuff but not others, having different priorities and biases that will cause them to interpret different things in different ways, etc.), no two players are likely going to interpret the events of 3 Houses the same either.

just because two characters interpret the events differently doesn’t mean they’re right. for example, the agarthans think the crest experiments are good but edelgard and lysithea would say otherwise. but you wouldn’t say that twsitd’s perspective is valid just bc they see things differently.

and when i see players trying to excuse some of the most horrific things bc they don’t want their fave war criminal to look bad yes i will judge them. you can like whoever but don’t excuse shit like imperialism and racism and we will be fine.

So, if you want to talk 3H, please acknowledge that none of the characters should be taken solely on their word, especially when describing major things. With the examples I gave earlier of misinformation in the game, it makes sense that Dmitri would place the blame of the Tragedy of Duscur almost entirely on Edelgard because he doesn’t know about the Agarthans or Edelgard’s history with them.

ok but she’s still complicate if nothing else. that’s still terrible. like if she was planning to clear duscur’s name that’s one thing but she isn’t. the only way to do that is to reveal twsitd and we know she doesn’t since it is a shadow war that the people don’t know about since that would reflect badly on her for working with them.

It makes sense that Edelgard has a lot of misconceptions about the Church because once you start completely rewriting and erasing history (and the Church does openly censor literature, which is shown in Claude’s route), any possible “true story” is more likely than the story you’re giving. Alongside that, Edelgard is getting most of her information from the Agarthans and a very private source only accessible to the Imperial Family.

fair but choosing war at like 13 is an extreme jump. maybe wait till your brain fully develops and you have a better picture of the world around you

It makes sense that Seteth might assume that Edelgard is trying to become a false god because he’s been helping lead a religion based on lies for centuries.

she is. also the religion isn’t based off of lies. sothis exists. she’s in your head. a few details were changed to hide nabateans from a red canyon massacre 2.0. however, the values are the same. also he came to the monastery 20 years ago not centuries.

When you’re trying to understand some part of Three Houses, you have to think about where that information came from, what factors might be biasing that information, and that there might be some detail that shines a new light on that information somewhere else in the game that you’re missing. And that’s generally a good philosophy to have when processing any information.

yeah

That’s something I like about Three Houses. I like how you have to sort through a ton of biases and misinformation within the game to understand the story. If you let your own biases get away from you too much, you’re going to miss the larger picture. The game let’s you know exactly where everyone is coming from in some way and (almost) everyone is given a sympathetic eye in at least one route. And (almost) everyone is viewed as irredeemable in at least one route.

the only people who are portrayed as irredeemable are edelgard and rhea (and maybe dimitri if you count edel’s contempt for him in cf).

[fandom-junkie2020]

Asshole

Summary- Carl doesn’t seem to get that Noah and you are just friends. His timing is impeccable. 

- - - - - - - 

Carl and I had been fighting a lot. Most of the time it was over little things like not picking up shirts or getting in each other's way but sometimes it got bad. We would both scream at each other until one of us walked out. Normally one of us would apologize and we would go back to being our normal selves. Today we were fighting about weather or not I could go on a run. I of coarse wanted to go but Carl insisted that it was to dangerous.

"No you're not going! It's to dangerous for you to go out there!" He yelled. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on, Carl! I go on runs all the time! What makes this time any different?" I asked.

"The difference is that we don't know these people! Just because Glenn and Noah are going with you doesn't mean you'll be safe! The other people who are going don't know us and we don't know them! We need to make sure we can trust them first!" He yelled. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Do you not trust Glenn and Noah to keep me safe and for me to keep them safe? Last time I checked both of them have saved our asses more then once! I can't believe you right now!" I yelled.

"That's not what I'm saying and you know that! Even though Glenn and Noah can keep you safe you would be going out there without anyone else that you know! They don't care weather you die or not. All they care about is getting what they need and getting back here safe and sound!" He started pointing towards the town. His face was contorted with anger.

"You've got to be kidding me! Noah aside from you is one of my best friends and like a brother to me. Glenn has been like a father to me! Just because we're dating doesn't mean that you get to tell me what to do, Carl!" I yelled back at him as I uncrossed my arms. He took a step towards me.

"Fine go ahead, die for all I care! It wouldn't make a difference anyways." He normally spoke the last part. Tears started to gather in my eyes and I looked down.

"Fine, if that's how you really feel." I said and walked out and towards the van that Glenn, Noah, some other Alexandrian's, and myself would be taking on the run. Carl hadn't fallowed me which made me even more sad then I already was. I walked up to Glenn and Noah.

"You guys ready for the run?" I asked.

"Yeah we're all set. Tara and Eugene are going to come with us so we have some extra hands." Glenn smiled. I laughed.

"When are they going to get together?" I asked and they both laughed. Glenn walked away, probably to see if we had everything we needed. Noah placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. I nodded. He laughed.

"You know I may not have been here long but I've been here long enough to tell when you're upset." He said. I looked down at my shoes.

"Carl and me got into a fight. He said some things that he probably didn't mean to say." I whispered. I looked back up at Noah and his face looked concerned. He pulled me in for a hug and I gladly hugged back.

"How about when we get back I go and kick his ass?" He laughed and I laughed into his chest.

"I'm sure we'll work things out. We always do." We pulled apart and we both smiled at each other.

We had already lost Aiden. He ended up getting stuck on some metal that was sticking out of one of the walls in the broken down building we were in. Nicholas just left him. Left him to die. Left his friend to get eaten alive by walkers. How can you be a community if you won't protect and put your life on the line. In this life you have to find people who are willing to risk their lives to save yours.

Nicholas was running ahead of Glenn, Noah, and me. He ran outside as we were running into the main room. Walkers were pouring out of all the doors except for the revolving door that was placed in the center of a glass wall. We ran towards it as Nicholas ran back in. Now we were all stuck in the door. Glenn, Noah, and I were in one side and had very little room for moment. Nicholas was stuck in the other side with enough room to move around.

"Maybe we can shoot past them? You have guns." Nicholas suggested. We were all holding the doors so that the walkers couldn't get past.

"You have all the amo" Glenn yelled. We started to panic but only at a small scale.

"Well we gotta do something, man" Nicholas yelled. "We'll die in here." He said.

"Yeah no shit, Sherlock!" I yelled at him.

"There has to be another way. There has to be." Noah said.

Then we heard honking from outside and banging.

"Hey" it was Eugene. Thank god he could do something besides cower in fear. He continued to yell and bang against the side of the car as he drove away slowly. That cleared one side of the door.

"Alright. Alright. I need you three. Hey! Hey, Nicholas!" Glenn yelled catching Nicholas's attention "You all have to keep the door steady so I can break the glass. Then you can push out and then get the rifles. We should be all set after that." Noah and I sat on the floor holding the door so that Glenn could brake the glass with the rifle that he had with him. Nicholas did the same.

Glenn picked up his rifle and started to take long hits at the glass.

"No! No! Stop it's not safe." Nicholas yelled. Glenn stopped hitting the glass and Noah and I looked over. The door on Nicholas's side started to look like it would let walkers in. "It's not going to break." He said.

"It's the only way" Glenn said.

"No it's not going to break." Nicholas yelled. Noah stood up and looked at Nicholas. I still sat on the floor trying to keep the door closed.

"It will. We can get out." Noah said.

"Ok ready we're going to count to three. One. Two. Three." Glenn said and once he did Nicholas pushed open his side of the door exposing the side I was keeping closed. I quickly got up and pushed the other side closed along with Glenn and Noah.

"Hey. Hey. Hey" Noah and I yelled.

"No. No, Nicholas don't" Glenn yelled as Nicholas started to squeeze his body out the door. Nicholas wasn't giving up but was struggling to get himself out of the door. Arms started reaching for Noah and I.

"Nicholas get back in that door or I swear to god I will kill you myself one way or another!" I yelled.

Eventually Nicholas pushed himself out the door and he fell to the ground and took off. We couldn't close the door. All the walker arms got in the way making it impossible for us to shut it. My eyes welted up with tears and started falling down my face. Then walkers started grabbing at mine and Noah's legs. Noah looked at me and pushed me back so that the walkers couldn't get my legs.

"Noah!" I yelled. Glenn and me held on to his arms as walkers started to drag him through the door. Noah looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"Don't let go" then he was swept away into a sea of walkers. Glenn and me pressed ourselves up against the glass.

"Noah!" Glenn and I yelled. Then out of no where Noah was thrown against they glass. Glenn and I backed up and watching in horror as the walkers held him against the glass and bit into his shoulders. Then they started to dig into his face, trying to get as much as they could out of him. His screams were stuck in my mind. That was all I could here. The sound of his screams and sound of his skin getting ripped off his body as blood gushed from his wounds. Blood covered the glass, dripping down the glass like water dripping down a window when it rained.

I was sobbing now. I had just lost my best friend. Someone who I considered a brother in the short time that he was with the group. Whenever we would hang out we would pretend the world hadn't gone to shit. Blood started to seep under the door causing the blood to get over my pants and hands as well as Glenns. Glenn sat there in horror as I sobbed.

Once we couldn't see Noah anymore Glenn stood up and helped me up as well. He picked up the bag and rifle that he had left on the floor. He took a step back and ran into the door. It opened quickly. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the walkers. We ran in the direction that we had seen Eugene drive the van. Once we had reached so we could see it Glenn let go of my hand and sprinted. We could see Nicholas from here. Once Glenn reached him he started to punch him until he was out cold.

"Where's Noah?" Eugene asked. Glenn gave him a look and walked around the back of the van. Eugene looked at me.

"He's gone." I whispered.

When we arrived at Alexandria they opened the gates so we could get in. Glenn and Eugene got out of the front seats while I helped people get an injured Tara out of the back. Nicholas was still unconscious. Once they had taken Tara to see Pete I was just standing in the middle of the street starring at my hands. Tears started to drip down my face once more.

"Y/N!" I heard someone yell. I didn't respond and I didn't move. "Where is she?" The voice yelled again. Then I saw feet in front of mine. "Y/N? Are you hurt?" They asked concerned. I shook my head no. "What's wrong?" They asked.

"He's gone." I whispered.

"What?" They asked. Damn this person asks a lot of questions.

"He's gone." I said. I was still looking at my hands. Red. That's all I could see now.

"Who's gone?" They asked. I looked up to see Carl. His face was lace with concern. I wasn't even that mad at him anymore. All I could think about was Noah.

"Noah." I said and then broke down in the middle of the street. Before I hit the ground Carl caught me. He held me up by wrapping his arms around my waist and then we both slowly sunk to the ground. I started to sob loudly and violently.

"Shhh it's okay. It's okay. Everything will be okay." He whispered in my ear. I placed my head in my hands and sobbed into Carl's chest.

"How? How can everything be okay if he's gone?" I sobbed. He started to rub circles into my back.

"It'll be okay. You still have me." He said sadly. I looked up at him the best I could because of his death grip.

"No I don't." I said "You said that-that." I started sobbing again. "You said y-you didn't c-care if I d-died." I started hiccupping.

"I know. I know I did. I'm so sorry. I was angry and I just said whatever came out." Tears now started running down his face and we were both crying in the street. "I don't know what I would have done if that had been you." He started sobbing as well. I pulled him in for another hug and we both buried our heads in each other's shoulders.

"I love you so much." I said. "Even if you were a dick." I tried laughing but it sounded like crying. Carl did the same.

"I love you too, asshole." He replied.

[honeyed-beans]

Ok I love demon Nick, but my first thought was whats gonna happen with Morgan once they rescue the rest of the sons!! Since she's alive in this timeline!! And Nick is just gonna not come back???

Holy Shit Scam I'm so sorry I did not get a notification for this ask so I only saw it by chance!! Soz for the late reply.

But I have been thinking about this. I think there is a very likely chance that Morgan is still alive. Jodie was able to become Nick's dad due to time travel, which made Nick a Tiefling. When Nick got his memories back he was still a tiefling, which means that nothing has changed back to Glenn's reality back on Earth. Nothing has changed back home, Jodie is still biologically Nick's father, and Morgan therefore must still be alive. Also it would feel just a little too cruel for a comedy podcast to leave Glenn completely high and dry. He is the worst dad, due to his inability to properly care and provide, but he is not a malicious person. He loves Nick a lot and it is because of that love that allowed Nick (and himself) to make the choice that Nick would be in a more stable environment without him. So Anthony will probably throw him a bone, and let Glenn return to his wife. No idea how that's gonna happen, trying to flirt with a woman who had just lost her son and husband over the phone sounds pretty tough. 😂 But it can work out.

Speaking of Nick. Nah this won't be the last we see of him. We might not see Jodie, because that all depends on Ron. But Nick doesn't have those limitations, and retains all his memories of both timelines. I hope he shows up for the big battles to help out Glenn, or at least to help out the other kids!! I think there so much potential to make a healthy relationship out of Jodie and Glenn having shared custody of Nick. Its a family dynamic that isn't depicted very often but it doesn't mean its bad. And I think the relationship between Glenn and Nick would work best when they see each other every now and again. Nick is safe to live in a place that is nurturing to him, and Glenn will learn to appreciate Nick better when he is around. AAAAAA Im so excited to find out!!

Actually the thing I'm most interested to know is what happened to Bill Close? Is he still in the team? Has Willy changed his plans or how the Granddads are organised because Bill is dead weight?? I'm super interested to know.

[kristenswig]

Best Picture

Nomadland

The Trial of the Chicago 7

Minari

Mank

Judas and the Black Messiah

Promising Young Woman

One Night in Miami

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

The Father If 10- Sound of Metal In Its Flop Era- News of the World How Far Are We Taking This Bit- The Mauritanian No- Da 5 Bloods Fell Off- Soul Get Out of My House- Borat

Best Director

Chloe Zhao - Nomadland

David Fincher - Mank

Lee Isaac Chung - Minari

Emerald Fennell - Promising Young Woman

Shaka King - Judas and the Black Messiah I Simply Do Not Accept It Into My Heart - Aaron Sorkin - The Trial of the Chicago 7 Let’s Ask Oscar Nominated Directors Ben Affleck, Denzel Washington, and Bradley Cooper How This Goes - Regina King - One Night in Miami I’m Not Seeing It But I Would Like To - Florian Zeller - The Father Still No - Spike Lee - Da 5 Bloods Whoever the Hell Directed This - “Paul Greengrass” - News of the World Wouldn’t Be That Surprising - Thomas Vinterberg - Another Round

Best Actress

Viola Davis - Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Frances McDormand - Nomadland

Carey Mulligan - Promising Young Woman 

Vanessa Kirby - Pieces of a Woman

Andra Day - The United States vs. Billie Holiday Fad - Rosamund Pike - I Care a Lot Stop Trying to Make This Happen - Sophia Loren - The Life Ahead I Do Have to Be Impressed With Netflix’s Blatant Astroturfing of This Campaign/Movie - Zendaya - Malcolm & Marie shestrying.jpg - Amy Adams - Hillbilly Elegy

Best Actor

Chadwick Boseman - Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Anthony Hopkins - The Father

Riz Ahmed - Sound of Metal

Steven Yeun - Minari

Gary Oldman - Mank Tempting- Tahar Rahim - The Mauritanian Most Acting- Delroy Lindo - Da 5 Bloods Sure!- Mads Mikkelsen - Another Round

Supporting Actress

Yuh-Jung Youn - Minari

Maria Bakalova - Borat

Olivia Colman - The Father

Amankda Seyfried - Mank

Dominique Fishback - Judas and the Black Messiah Do I Dare Predict This Snub - Glenn Close - Hillbilly Elegy Still Feels Like a Globes Thing - Jodie Foster - The Mauritanian Even I Didn’t Get Why This Was Supposed to Happen - Ellen Burstyn - Pieces of a Woman Shut It Down - Helena Zengel - News of the World

Supporting Actor

Daniel Kaluuya - Judas and the Black Messiah

Sacha Baron Cohen - Trial of the Chicago 7

Leslie Odom Jr. - One Night in Miami

Paul Raci - Sound of Metal

David Strathairn - Nomadland Nothing for This Movie - Chadwick Boseman - Da 5 Bloods Everything for This Movie? - Alan Kim - Minari Also a Fad - Jared Leto - The Little Things

Adapted Screenplay

Nomadland

The Father

One Night in Miami

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

B*rat Should’ve Just Sat There and Ate Your Tech Nominations - News of the World Ok - The Mauritanian When Did This Category Get So Many Contenders - The White Tiger BONNIE WAKE UP - I’m Thinking of Ending Things BONNIE STAY WITH ME I NEED YOU - First Cow

Original Screenplay

Trial of the Chicago 7

Mank

Promising Young Woman

Minari

Judas and the Black Messiah Probably Stupid Not to Predict This - Sound of Metal In Another Year - Soul They Probably Watched This - Palm Springs They Did Not Watch This - Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Cinematography

Nomadland

Mank

News of the World

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (???)

Judas and the Black Messiah Was Going to Predict This Until the ASC Happened - Minari Cherk? - Cherk The Worst Shot Movie of the Year - Da 5 Bloods His Movies Only End Up Here If It’s Also a Best Picture Nominee - Tenet Automatic B&W Possibilities - Malcolm & Marie, Dear Comrades, Gunda

Costume Design

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Mank

Emma

Personal History of David Copperfield

Jingle Jangle CHAOS NOMINEE They Didn’t Care for Aladdin?- Mulan Another Tempting Pick- Ammonite Feel Like It Should’ve Had a Guild Nomination- News of the World Aggressive- Promising Young Woman Recent- The United States vs. Billie Holiday

Film Editing

The Trial of the Chicago 7

Nomadland

Promising Young Woman

Sound of Metal

The Father (the gif is at the ready) I Had Mank in Too Many Categories So I Dropped It From Here - Mank Is In The BP Top 5 - Minari Already Predicting That This Movie Will Stomp So - Judas and the Black Messiah The Paul Greengrass Version of This Movie Would’ve Scored - News of the World Again Only When He’s In Best Picture - Tenet

Makeup and Hair

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Hillbilly Elegy

Birds of Prey

The Glorias

Jingle Jangle AGAIN Another Mank Prediction Drop - Mank Is It Flashy Enough?? - Emma Gaslighting is When I’m Told Another Pinocchio Movie Came Out - Pinocchio

Production Design

Mank

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

News of the World

The Midnight Sky

Tenet See Above Re: Aladdin - Mulan They Don’t Like Women’s Period Pieces Here - Emma Deserves Pt. 1 - The Father Enough - The Trial of the Chicago 7 Deserves Pt. 2 - Personal History of David Copperfield

Score

Soul

Mank

Minari

The Midnight Sky

Tenet Literally No Clue - News of the World Watch Another Movie - The Trial of the Chicago 7 Kristenswig Official FYC - The Invisible Man

how did we literally get rid of sound editing before this category

the one song about speaking

the one song about seeing

the one song about fighting

the one song about hearing

I had the word “Eurovision” blacklisted on this website and also Twitter so I didn’t even know this movie existed until like 4 months after it came out Stacey - Abrams Minari?? The Only Song I’ve Actually Heard and then Voluntarily Listened to Again - Green

Sound et al.

Sound of Metal

Mank

News of the World

Greyhound

Tenet (although I’m sensing a potential breakup between this branch and Christopher Nolan coming) There Was The....Music - Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom There Was Also Music - Soul Bucket Shitting - Nomadland Space! - The Midnight Sky

Visual Effects

Tenet

The Midnight Sky

Welcome to Chechnya

Mank

The ! One ! and ! Only ! Ivan ! Not Feeling Her - Mulan the what - Love and Monsters

Animated Feature

Soul

Wolfwalkers

Over the Moon

Onward (the sample size for two Pixars potentially being nominated at the same time is like...one non-pandemic year)

Shaun the Sheep ??? - The Croods Most Influential - Trolls World Tour Literally Nothing Would Surprise Me - Bombay Rose We Already Have Netflix Covered Twice Here - The Willoughbys When tf Did This Come Out - No. 7 Cherry Lane 

Doc Feature

Time (or is this the frontrunner that gets snubbed every year)

Collective

Welcome to Chechnya

Boys State

All In This Makes Sense! - MLK/FBI This Makes Sense! - Crip Camp This Makes Sense! - The Truffle Hunters This Makes Sense! - Dick Johnson Is Dead

The Artist Formerly and More Accurately Known as Best Foreign Language Film

Another Round

Quo Vadis Aida

Collective

Two of Us

The Man Who Sold His Skin There Are Like 500 Ways You Could Spin The Last 3 Spots In This Category and I Wouldn’t Be Shocked So In Descending Order of Likelihood? - Dear Comrades, La Llorona, I’m No Longer Here, Night of Kings

[cathwritestragediesnotsins]

Wanted you

Daryl x Plus size!reader (mentioned briefly)

word count: 4,330

Warnings: injury, cursing, Carl is an adorable lil sheriff man.

GIFS NOT MINE, I just gathered them from the world wide interweb.

Summary: Y/N is injured on a run and Daryl worries about her. Later Daryl gets jealous when he thinks he hears Y/N talking about another guy. (crappy summary bc tbh this story did not go where I thought it was gonna.)

________________________________________________________________

To say I was stuck between a rock and a hard place would definitely be an understatement. 

I had ducked into a building-an old diner- just down the street to shield myself from the hailstorm of bullets coming from snipers set up on top of almost every building on main street.

Only to discover that building was very much overrun. I must’ve had about 17 walkers coming at me from all directions. I was worn out and bleeding out of a bullet wound to my left shoulder so it was very clear I wasn’t going to make it out of this one. 

That, however, didn’t mean I was going to go down easy.

I pull out my knife and plunge it into the head of the nearest walker which gives me a few precious seconds to reload my gun. Once I’ve put in a new clip I start popping off rounds as fast as I can, taking out as many walkers as possible while making my way toward the counter situated near the back. My shoulder screams in protest to every movement and I’m starting to feel light headed but I press on. 

I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back.

I repeat this mantra over and over again in my head. Its the only thing keeping me conscious right now. 

I reach the bar and shove myself over it to put something between the vicious hoards of biters that’re on my tail. There’s 9 left which would normally be a bit more manageable but not with the way my vision is starting to black out around the edges. 

I shake my head to refocus and wipe the sweat off my brow before raising my gun again. 

The room finally blurs out just as I’m about to pull the trigger.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Damn it” Daryl mutters to himself as he crouches down behind an old barrel situated toward the end of the street. 

His ammo is running low, he can’t move without getting hit by the snipers, and he’s lost track of Y/N. He knew he shouldn’t have brought her along on this run. 

He glances around frantically and decides to make his way into the closest building and hope it’s clear. He’s a sitting duck otherwise.

The archer takes a moment to hype himself up, inhaling and exhaling deeply, jumping in place a bit before he bolts. 

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.

The sounds of guns firing goes wild as soon as he steps out from his hiding spot and even though it only takes Daryl a few seconds to reach his target it feels like an eternity as he waits for the feeling of lead, ripping and tearing through him.

He’s honestly more surprised than he’d like to admit when he makes it to his destination unscathed. 

The door slams behind him, drawing the attention of several walkers crowded at the back of the building. He takes a couple shots before his guns clicks, signalling it’s empty. He shoves the useless weapon into his belt and whips the crossbow from where it had been slung across his shoulder blades. He picks off the walkers one by one, taking out the closest ones first so as to be able to retrieve his arrows. 

He made quick work of the walkers and then started toward the back to see if there was a second way out, hoping he could sneak to the next building over to look for Y/N. He paused at the door to the kitchen to swing it open just a bit and make sure it was clear. 

Just as he was about to step through the doorway he heard snarling and moaning. A familiar sound. A warning. A walker. He recoiled away from the door and put his back to the wall, scanning the room, trying to find the source of the noise. He could hear a scratching noise and something dragging against wood. It became clear that the commotion was coming from behind the bar so he crept over, quickly, bow at the ready. 

When he rounds the corner he has a clear line of sight of a walker with it’s bottom half hacked off, scratching and clawing it’s way toward a body, lying on the floor in a small puddle of fresh blood. 

Y/N

Daryl quickly puts an arrow in the head of the geek making it’s way toward you and steps over it to crouch down next to you, checking your pulse. He breathes a sigh of relief when he can feel the thumping of your blood rushing through your veins, but it’s barely there which concerns him. He rips off your outer shirt so he can get a better look at the wound and winces. It’s bad. He bunches up the material in his hands and presses it to the bullet hole in an attempt to slow down the bleeding. Daryl glances around wildly, searching for anything useful but he comes up empty. He knows it’s just a matter of time before the shooters come down from their perches and burst in this place, guns blazing.

He’s not too keen on moving you in your condition but he also knows he can’t take on that entire group of survivors by himself. He grits his jaw in determination, knowing that he really only has the one option.

Quickly, he pulls the belt off from around his waist and uses it to secure the shirt to your chest, keeping pressure on the entry point.

Then he swings his crossbow back over his torso and picks up your limp body bridal style. He makes his way toward the kitchen, with renewed urgency, wary of any walkers that might be lurking around, and locates the back door. He kicks it open, breaking the door jamb, and steps out into the day. His eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright sun. Then he’s off, running into the treeline located some 40 yards away, looking for some type of cover. It’s a risky move. He’s exposed, out in the open with no way to defend himself. But it’s your best option at the moment so he does it without batting an eye.

His heart is pounding in his ears as he runs across the empty space, holding you close to his chest. And then the shots ring out, shattering the silence. Daryl surges forward even faster, moving as fast as his legs can possible carry him. As soon as he is a good distance into the tree line he sets you down and pulls out his gun, shoving in a new magazine and taking out any of the shooters who try to get too close.

 “C’mon, c’mon!” he grunts as he continues to engage in the fire fight. He’s on his last magazine. Daryl takes more care to aim and shoot only when he’s sure he’s got the target pinned down; but there are too many of them.

Suddenly he hears the squealing of tires and a familiar silver truck comes careening around the corner of one of the buildings. Daryl lets a relieved smile catch on his lips when he sees Sasha, Rick, Carol and Glenn standing in the bed of the truck, opening fire on his assailants. Rick is popping off rounds like a man of fire and the others follow his lead.

Maggie jolts the truck to a stop at the treeline and shouts out the passenger window, “Get in!”

Daryl wastes no time in putting away his weapon and carrying you toward the car. Maggie reaches back and throws open the door to the backseat and Daryl jumps in as quickly as possible while still holding you in his arms. Before the door was even closed Daryl was already shouting “Go! Go!”

“Hang on!” Maggie warned the guys in the back before speeding on out of there, leaving the marauders in their dust. Glenn, Carol, Sasha and Rick all whooped and high-fived, celebrating a mission well done.

Daryl looks down at you, your head laid in his lap. He knows you’re not out of the woods yet, you lost a lot of blood. “How is she?” Maggie asks, seeing Daryl’s concerned face in the rear view mirror. “Not good.” Daryl mumbles, “she needs blood as soon as possible” Maggie nods in understanding, turns her gaze back to the road, grits her jaw in determination and punches the gas. “We’re gonna make it” she states, as if there’s no question.

Daryl lays his head against the window, watching the blur of scenery go by.

 He hopes she’s right.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I wake up I’m laying on my cot back in the prison. I sit up quickly and immediately cringe at the pain from my gunshot wound. “Woah woah woah!” a voice chastises and then Hershel appears beside me, pushing me to lie back down. “You’ll pull out your drip!” When I resist he huffs in annoyance.

“Where’s Daryl? Is he ok?” I ask, concern lacing my tone.

Hershel rolls his eyes and walks toward the cell door, leaning out and calling, “Daryl, she’s awake. She wants to see you.”

I hear heavy footsteps and then Hershel gives me a look before stepping out of the doorway to meet Daryl. They exchange a few hushed words and then Daryl steps into the room and the vet disappears down the hall. I situate myself to sit up against the headboard and once again wince as I forget to compensate for my left side. Daryl takes a step forward in concern but I wave him off.

“How do you feel?” the archer asks, taking a seat on the stool next to my bed. “Never better” I joke and Daryl rolls his eyes but I see an amused smile tug at his lips. 

“How about you? Are you hurt?” I question, scanning over his body, looking for any obvious signs of trauma. He shakes his head, his jagged hair swishing around at the movement. “Naw, jus’ had some close calls is all.” he dismisses. I nod, not outwardly showing the relief that I actually feel.

“So, what happened? I thought I was done for for sure when I passed out in that room full of walkers.”

Daryl huffs out a quiet laugh with no real humor to it. “Yeah, thankfully I got there just in time. Took out the walkers and then found you behind the bar.” he explains. My eyes widen slightly and anxiety crawls through me, “You didn’t have to carry me all the way here did you?” I question nervously. I am definitely not the skinniest girl in the world. To be blunt...I’m fat. It doesn’t bother me anymore; I love myself and the way I look but this....this was different. I inwardly cringe at the thought of Daryl struggling to carry me all the way back to the prison.

Daryl cocks his head, giving me a weird look. He must’ve caught on to my discomfort. I double my efforts to appear normal. 

“No, I carried you to the woods behind the building and then Rick and a group came and picked us up in the truck.”

“Oh. Ok.”

I was slightly relieved but also slightly mortified that Daryl had still had to carry me at all.

“Thank you.” I mumble quietly, looking at my hands, fidgeting with the bandanna wrapped around my wrist.

When I look up, Daryl ducks his head, looking back up at me through the ends of his hair. “No problem. ‘M just glad we got back in time.” he says, gesturing toward the bag of blood hanging from the top bunk and the tube attaching it to me.

 “Yeah.” 

It’s quiet for a couple minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. I am so embarrassed that I can barely look at him and yet at the same time I just want him near me; want him to stay. I wrack my head for anything to say to break the silence. 

He stands up suddenly from the stool and fidgets awkwardly.

“Well, I’d uh, better get going. I’m on watch soon.”

“Oh, ok.” I say, not being able to help the smallest bit of disappointment from staining my voice. “Would you mind sending Beth in here to keep me company?” I request, already bored at the idea of having to stay in this tiny room by myself for the next week or so. Daryl nods and starts quickly toward the door.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daryl had hardly been to see me after that while I was recovering and everyone else was really busy so I was bored out of my mind every day that Hershel fussed at me to stay in bed. As soon as I didn’t feel like I’d pass out when I wore myself out I was up and about- though Hershel insisted I wear a sling.

Carl became by self-appointed body guard since I was unable to defend myself well at the moment so he now followed me nearly everywhere. I loved the kid and we had always been close but he was starting to drive me a bit insane.

“Carl, it’s fine, I’m just going to go for a walk.” I say, rolling my eyes as I fight with a 14 year old about leaving the building.

“Yeah but you should at least stay inside the fences. It’s not safe for you to be out there on your own!” he argues, keeping pace with me as I march toward the gate. 

“What if you get caught off guard by a group?”

“I can still shoot a gun Carl, I’m not completely useless.”

“Yeah but you can’t reload it.” he retorts. I give him a look and he drops the snark. “C’mon, just let me come with you.”

“No, Carl. I need some time to myself.” I say firmly, coming to a stop in front of the gate. “So, you gonna help me open this or what?” I ask, gesturing toward the pulley system that controls the gateway. Just then I hear a gruff voice behind me. 

“Whas’ going on here?” Daryl questions.

I turn, “Carl, won’t let me leave.” I complain. Daryl’s eyes shifted over to the lanky brown-haired boy under the sheriff’s hat.

“She shouldn’t be going outside the gates on her own!” he argues, voice tense with frustration. 

Daryl’s gaze returns to me. “Kid’s right.” he mumbled, chewing on his lip subconsciously. I pretend I don’t notice every time he does that.

“Daryl...” I whine. “I just need some freaking space! I’ve been cooped up inside this place for too long!” 

Daryl hums in thought as he continues to chew on his lower lip for a moment. “Guess you could come with me. ’M about to go huntin’” he grunts.

I raise my eyebrows and turn to look at Carl hopefully. “Is that good enough for you Sheriff?” I ask, using my playful nickname for the Grimes boy.

He rolls his eyes and waves his hand in dismissal. “Yeah, yeah whatever, that’s fine.” he huffs. He places his hand on the holster by his side and looks to Daryl, “just keep an eye on her.” 

I scoff. “You know I’m the adult here right?” I sass. Carl just smirks before turning and loping away back to the prison. I roll my eyes. “That kid is crazy.” 

Daryl huffs out a bit of a laugh, “Yeah, just like his old man.”

I laugh breezily and nod in agreement, watching Carl walk away.

“’M gonna go tell Rick we’re leaving and then we can go. Wait here.” Daryl instructs abruptly before stalking away toward the garden where Rick is harvesting the literal fruits of his labor. A small smile crosses my face. I’m glad Rick is getting to have this time of peace. He deserves it.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says behind me. I turn and smile at Michonne. “Hey. What’s up?” 

The woman leans to my left a bit to look over my shoulder at Daryl and then looks back to me expectantly. “You tell me.”

I roll my eyes. “Stop.” I say in mock annoyance. Michonne pouts her lush lips at me. “When are you going to tell him?” she pesters. “I’m not!” I defend “For the billionth time Michonne, Daryl doesn’t think of me like that and I am not going to risk our friendship, ok?” It’s Michonne’s turn to roll her eyes at me. “When are you and Rick going to stop playing games and get together already?” I question, diverting her attention. She gives me a deadpan look which I return pointedly. I am just as stubborn as her, if not more so. 

“Don’t try and change the subject” she says suddenly and I curse under my breath at my failed attempt. “You’re going hunting with him right?”

I nod hesitantly, unsure as to where she’s going with this. 

“Good. It would be the perfect time to tell him!” she points out.

“No.”

“Oh c’mon Y/N! He obviously wants you too!”

“No!”

“At least think about it!” she pleads.

“Think about what?” Daryl says, suddenly right next to me. I jump a bit, startled. “Nothing.” I dismiss quickly, silently praying that Michonne will keep her mouth shut. I turn to Daryl, “You ready to go?” I ask. He nods, looking between Michonne and I with his eyes narrowed in curiosity.

“Alright then, let’s go. Michonne can you open the gate please?” I say, widening my eyes at her in a wordless warning to not say anything stupid. She rolls her eyes, “Yeah sure. But think about what I said.” she says, seriously before turning and marching toward the pulley system, tugging down the rope so the gate opened just enough for Daryl and I to slip out.

We sprint across the clearing around the prison and duck into the woods as quickly as we can, taking out any biters that get too close. Once we’ve put some distance between us and the clearing Daryl walks forward a few paces, eyes trained on the forest floor, searching for any trace of wildlife. I stay closer to the treeline, keeping watch while Daryl gets his bearings. Once I’m sure the coast is clear I walk over to where the hunter is crouched, looking at the muddy ground over his shoulder. “Find anything?” I question. He grunts, “Maybe.” and then stands up. 

He starts walking farther into the woods and I follow loosely, enjoying being out of the confines of the prison for the first time in 2 weeks. There are birds swooping and playing around in the treetops and I lean my head back to watch them. 

That was probably one of the things I missed most about before, the peace. I mean, of course I miss coffee and wifi and stuff but really, all of that you can live without. But peace, a feeling of safety, is irreplaceable. It’s not something I experience a lot these days but right now, outside, with the breeze playing in my hair and Daryl there to protect me, I feel safe. My eyes shine, smiling all on their own as they dance with the movements of the birds above head.

“So,” Daryl says, clearing his throat, interrupting the silence. I tip my head forward again to look at his back as he continues tracking. “You and Jamie huh?” he asks quietly. I cock my head to the side in confusion. “What?”

Daryl stops and shifts awkwardly, lowering his crossbow from where he had had it positioned just under his chin. “I heard you and Michonne talking about ‘im. You ain’t exactly subtle about having a thing for the guy.” Daryl says. I don’t miss the slight aggression in his voice.

Jamie was one of the new recruits we had picked up. Rick and a group that I happened to be part of had found him squatting in a storeroom at the back of a convenience store. I admit that Jamie is an attractive guy, ropey muscles, dark, curly hair and playful eyes. But even when he had attached himself to me his first couple of weeks at the prison I hadn’t given him a second glance, too enamored by Daryl to even consider something with Jamie. Once he got the message I wasn’t interested he and I had become friends, often ending up on watch together.

I scoff at the idea of me liking Jamie. “Yeah, um, no. Jamie is just a friend. He’s a nice guy and all but not my type.” I dismiss, shaking my head.

Daryl shoots me an unbelieving look over his shoulder. 

“Seriously,” I defend, “I don’t like him like that.” I pause for a moment and then throw in offhandedly, “I prefer guys who are a bit more headstrong; independent.” 

Daryl’s steps falter for just a second and I feel a flash of panic jolt through me, thinking maybe he caught on to my little hint. I stop too, still a few paces behind him and try to control my suddenly shaky breathing. 

“I think I lost the trail.” he mumbles finally and I let out a relieved breath before my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Daryl never loses a trail.

“Are you alright?” 

“’M fine.” he snaps, starting forward again. 

“Psh, yeah sure. That was convincing.” I sass back. When he doesn’t say anything else I jog to catch up with him, grabbing his arm to pull him to a stop.

“Seriously, what’s up?” I question, ducking my head to catch his gaze when he looks down.

“Nothin’, get off me woman!” he bites but it’s half-hearted. I give him a look, paying no mind to his rude behavior “Daryl, c’mon, just tell me what’s bothering you.” I press, my voice tinged with concern.

“NOTHIN’!” he shouts, yanking his arm away from my grasp. “Just leave me the fuck alone and go back to your damn boyfriend!”

I flinch at first but then my face scrunches in anger and I roll my eyes. “We’ve already covered this dumbass. Jamie and I are just friends. Why do you care anyway?” I spit, crossing my arms in annoyance.

He turns and starts marching away, muttering something under his breath.

“No,” I call indignantly, traipsing after him “whatever you have to say, grow a pair and say it to my face.” I nag, not ready to let this go.

Daryl stops and whirls around to face me so suddenly that I nearly crash into him. 

“Ya wanna know why I care?” he growls, his jaw gritted and eyes boring into mine. My mouth opens but no words come out. I’m momentarily caught off guard. He seems to take this as a sign to continue.

“Because, I was a fucking idiot and I let myself fall in love with you.” he yells, swinging his arm around is agitation like he always does.

My eyes widen in shock and disbelief at his confession. The gears in my brain seem to be working double time, trying to figure out what he could possibly mean other than that and my eyes dart around his features, looking for a lie. 

I find none.

“Daryl, I-” I say and then cut myself off. I am at a loss for words. I never in a million years expected this to happen. Daryl makes a noise in the back of his throat at my lack of words and his eyes harden. I know it’s only to cover up the hurt though. His lips part and I can tell he is about to say something else so I speak up first, 

“Do you mean that?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He pauses at that, looking taken aback. His countenance softening when he sees the vulnerability in my eyes. I am raw, exposed. He hesitates for a moment and then nods slowly, uncertainly. 

There is silence for another moment as I process his reply. And then a smile breaks out onto my face while a airy laugh of relief slips past my lips.

“I love you too.” I tell him. “I have for a long time. I love you, Daryl.” I exclaim, my voice gaining more conviction as I gain confidence. He grins at me and I love the way his eyes squint with happiness. It’s a rare and beautiful sight which only serves to make my heart swell. He reaches forward and gathers me into his arms, hugging me to him tightly. I immediately return his embrace, burying my face into his worn leather vest. He quickly pulls away just enough to kiss me, strong arms still holding me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear, though he moves a hand to cup the back of my neck. I melt into the kiss, leaning up on my toes to meet him halfway. His scruffy facial hair brushes against my cheeks which makes me smile. I feel light-headed; dizzy but in the best kind of way. He kisses me so hard that he has to tighten his grip on my waist to keep me in place. We’re both smiling when we finally pull away, our foreheads rested against each other as we pant for breath.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” I ask, genuinely curious.

He pulls away enough to lower his head and shrugs, turning shy again. “D’know, just thought a girl like you wouldn’t want a guy like me.” he murmers. I smile adoringly at him, placing my hand on his cheek to get him to look at me. “Well I guess we’re both idiots because I thought a guy like you wouldn’t want a girl like me.”

His eyes lock onto mine, looking slightly alarmed. “I do.” he insists. I laugh, leaning closer to his again so that our breaths mingle. “And I want you too.”

[callsignbaphomet]

🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊

Y'think thats enough pens? Either way I don't expect you to do somethin for aaaaaaaaaall of em lol

Gsudkblbzysuv hun, this is so beautifully chaotic!

🖋 Ginger's a vampire but both of her dads (Lee Grimm and Glenn Grimm) are werewolves (Mist Walkers). Both are trans men.

🖋 Jelani uses male, neutral or female pronouns. Has no preference to which ones someone should use.

🖋 Trevor knows ASL. His little brother was deaf and in his memory he learned ASL.

🖋 Angelus sorta, kinda had a daughter. Ok tl;dr back in the late 1800s he ran into this little girl that was living in the street and tried to steal some money off him but she got caught. He gave her everything he had on him and then she ran off and he lost track of her. Much later he found her again but this time she was a bit older, like 11 years old. They recognized each other and they both went to get a bite to eat and she told him she ran away from home because her parents were abusive. Obviously coming from a similar background he heavily sympathized but he didn't know the first thing about kids but he still took her in. She grew up, married and had kids of her own and those kids grew up and eventually his adopted daughter (her name was Alice) grew old and died of old age. He kept in contact with his sort of grandkids obviously but as his great grandkids grew older and had families and kids of their own Angelus distanced himself. How the fuck are ya gonna explain your sort of adoptivr great grandfather looks like a 20 year old twink? He's kept an eye out on them as a "friend of the family".

🖋 AJ introduced Angelus, Mahmud, Tre and Madison to his favorite hobby: parkour. The five of them regularly get together to free run in places they think would be both challenging and fun.

🖋 Madison introduced Mahmud, AJ, Tre and Xiomara to spelunking and scuba diving as a hobby.

🖋 Sanaa loves and collects windchimes. So Ingvarr modified an alarm clock to make any chime she puts on it chime whenever she sets the alarm. So instead of some jarring alarm she wakes up to a windchime.

🖋 Angelus has an abnormally high tolerance for pain to the point where he won't react to most injuries. This was due to years of having to learn to control his cries of pain because the more he cried out the harder he'd get beaten.

🖋 Trevor holds the world record for longest confirmed sniper kill. Can't be found in any public record but it's in Oracle records and that's good enough for him.

🖋 Jelani (Loke and Jela's grandad, not J lol) and Subira made a spell called "Bright Light". Basically a faint little orb of light that when cast makes anyone near it calm down. It works for regular nervousness, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and so on. It's one of those beginner type spells that barely requires any energy and it can either hover over the caster's palm or it can be "attached" to an object.

🖋 Sunniva (she was Ingvarr's first wife and the woman who gave birth to Loke) is still alive. After she became pregnant she heavily regretted it so that's why as soon as Loke was born she ran away without telling anyone anything. Loke was always told that she disappeared but honestly speaking he never knew her so he has no attachment to her. To him Sanaa is HIS mother and only her.

🖋 Latoya was what you would consider a sickly kid. Someone in another country sneezed and she got sick. Her colds and flus lasted longer than usual and she was a super skinny little girl. When puberty hit she took up sports and when she was 18 she started lifting weights, blew up in terms of muscle tone and got laser eye surgery. Now she's like Rambo in his prime but pretty.

🖋 Abigail is constantly coloring her hair different colors but her favorite is any hue of green since that's her favorite color. She'll also help and color anyone else's if they ask her for help.

🖋 Ginger and Abigail got married on October 13th. Yes, the wedding had a Victorian goth theme to it. Even though they couldn't eat it the cake was red velvet with black frosting and everything. It almost looked like a funeral 'cause everyone was wearing black. I hope to doodle Ginger and Abby in their wedding dresses someday.

🖋 Haakon had a habit of collecting leaves from different countries he visited and kept them safe. Ingvarr and Jørgen both keep journals with leaves of different countries they've visited. They write down the tree the leaf came from, country where they got it from and date.

🖋 Anette can't drive until she's 21. When she was 14 she took Jelani's car, drove her and a bunch of her friends super late at night in winter (from what I've read driving in Norway during winter is horrible), crashed into another car after she lost control, totalled both Jelani's car and the other car and severely injured some of her friends and the other driver. The funny/not funny part is Jela was planning on giving her that car when she got her license but she totalled it. It was BMW by the way. Fuckin' teenager driving around in a 2 year old Beemer lol.

🖋 Speaking of cars. Grete (Anette's mother and Loke and Jelani's aunt) is horribly afraid of driving. She can't get behind the wheel of a car without freaking out. Anette crashing made the fear 10x worse. She can be in a car as long as she isn't driving and the car isn't going too fast.

🖋 During a visit Anette convinced both her parents and Jelani to let her stay with him during the summer. She also convinced both Leah and Xolani to stay over as well. So for a whole ass summer Jelani had three teenagers staying over as a kind of sleep over vacation. It actually turned out fun in the end, the kids had fun and Anette and her rebellious attitude kinda softened.

🖋 Anette, Xolani and Leah have one defining thing in common. None of them know what to do with the rest of their lives. Thing is Leah is very nervous about it, Xolani is kind of aloof about it and Anette is kinda of frustrated about it. Anette is frustrated which leads her to act out and cause trouble. Xolani just looks like they don't care but they do. Leah is super nervous about it. Another thing they got in common is the three of them tend to look up to Loke and Jelani 'cause they feel both understand them better than their parents do.

🖋 Ginger is kinda very obsessed with portals. She's fascinated by them but also respects them as they are incredibly dangerous and unpredictable. She is basically the only person in the world that managed to control portals even if it's for a short amount of time.

🖋 Shaine got really into explosives when she was just a kid. After an accident with a dozen cherry bombs she was left partially deaf, now has to wear a hearing aid and is the explosives expert.

🖋 Before joining Oracle Katya financed her transition by making fake IDs and passports. She also doxxed corrupt government officials and ransomed vital information she got off them.

🖋 Loke is allergic to bird dandruff but would love to have a pet pigeon. At least he can have dogs which is his other favorite animal. His favorite dog is the pitbull.

🖋 Until he got together with Jelani all of Angelus's previous relationships were short and ended in kind of disaster because he constantly compared them all to Jelani and to him they didn't measure up. He ultimately said no to relationships around the 1930s and just fucked around. Obviously until he got shit faced once and confessed to Jelani he was in love with him and the rest is history.

🖋 Tre is one of the super rare seers that can see and feel visions. He's so sensitive that merely standing in an area with a lot of energy could affect him.

🖋 In Oracle there is a head of the organization and two leaders. Current head is Aleksey with Jelani and Angelus as leaders. There's always three as kind of a callback let's call it to when Oracle was started. Aleksey and two close friends started it so from then on there's always 3 leads. When Aleksey steps down Jelani will be head, Ginger will be the second lead and Angelus is the third lead, however he plans on making Trevor the third lead. The reason is because Angelus is fully aware of what he can and can't do and he knows damn well that he isn't lead of an organization material. When he steps down he'd be the Trickster team leader, that he can handle, and since Trevor left a vacant spot Loke would take that spot.

🖋 There is a place called Kironia. It's theorized to be a sort of epicenter for portal activities. Angelus and Ginger have been tasked with keeping an eye on it but it's shrouded in so much mystery most people don't think it's real.

🖋 Despite the fact that Trevor personally knows a Maker and a goddess (Jade, Latoya's girlfriend) he's still an athiest.

🖋 Trevor didn't have a name growing up, he chose the name Trevor because it sounded pleasant. He took his surname, Ravencroft, from a woman he'd heard of from other Oracle agents. He eventually got to meet Morgana Ravencroft, she thought it was flattering he took her name.

🖋 Speaking of Morgana Ravencroft, Angelus was first introduced to the concept of magic because of her. He went with Trevor to help him with some supplies and after being completely hypnotized by some illusions she gave him a book on the basics and helped him get started.

🖋 Loke stopped aging and it's something of a weird occurrence that is brought up every so often. When he was 28 years old he and Jelani (who was 15 at the time) were delivering some supplies to another village. They ran into bandits and as usual Loke was trying to protect Jelani and in doing so he was fatally wounded. Of course Jelani freaked the fuck out and his "fail safe" kicked in. Jela doesn't remember but Loke does, he saw Jelani change form and after dealing with the bandits he turned his attention to Loke and stopped him from dying. He was rusty as fuck so he put a little more oomph behind it and a tiny portion of his energy slipped into Loke. Neither of them know but Loke is basically kinda frozen in time when it comes to aging. So because of this Loke can't die unless Jelani dies.

🖋 Loke has a black feather that's warm to the touch and small embers can be seen floating out of it. He's never mentioned it to anyone and keeps it close to him. The feather came from Jelani when he changed form to fight off the bandits. After he blacked out and changed back Loke found the feather on the ground. He knew where it came from that's why he kept it. He's never told Jelani about that day because he doesn't know what it means and he thinks telling him would only serve to confuse him further.

🖋 Continuing with Loke, he's your average run of the mill berserker. That means he cannot use magic while in berserker mode or even with his weapons. The only ones that can do that are arcanist berserkers (the Nyota tribe). Sanaa is an arcanist berserker, she can use magic while in berserker mode. However, through years of practice Sanaa managed to teach Loke one spell that her people are really fond of. Falling Stars is a spell that has the user charge a single arrow. The arrow is shot upwards and as soon as it reaches high enough it splits into hundreds of arrows that rain down on the target. Loke started practicing when he was 8 years old and by the age of 30 he managed to pull it off making him the first berserker to use magic.

🖋 Jelani and Leah are two of the extremely rare and fortunate people that have gone through a portal and have returned. Whether their return was sheer luck or the fact that he's a Maker is something I'll elaborate on later.

🖋 Haakon knew Jelani wasn't a berserker. Haakon himself had a feeling that his grandson was something far more, if that makes sense. The day Jela was born Haakon had a dream but instead of fear he just felt an insurmountable amount of wonder. He's only ever told his wife, Eli, who in turn believed him. Both always made sure Jela didn't feel out of place and Haakon frequently encouraged him.

[skyfrost-nail-kincare]

Hey it’s Beth Greene from The Walking Dead!

I’d like to as your Mystic Mondays Tarot desk about my timeline and some relationships with the people in my group. (Especially Rick Grimes though don’t limit it to just him, if that makes sense) I’m also interested in knowing what my relationship with Andrea was, and a teen named Randall Culver. (before he died). I don’t believe he and I interacted much though. The timeline summary can be long.

Hopefully this will give you a good idea about my timeline. 

I do remember a few things. At first I wasn’t used to the apocalyptic world but slowly changed into a determined, resourceful person and someone who wanted to protect others. When we were at the prison I spent a lot of time with Rick and Carl because I helped take care of his baby (Lori died shortly after). I feel like Rick and I had a long talks in the evenings about anything bothering us or about life in general. I felt  particularly close to him. When the group scavenged I remember us going to a mall at one point. Me, Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Andrea were the ones who went on that trip. When Randall was in custody I might’ve talked to him though I can’t remember what was said. Dealing with walkers was a challenge at times but I soon got the hang of it and knew how to efficiently use any weapon I could get my hands on. 



Ok so before I do the thing I’m gonna let you know that I can’t do the relationship/dynamic AND timeline summary at the same time, especially with a long timeline summary because that’s a big spread for me! So I’m gonna do your timeline summary!

It’ll be below the cut!

- Mod Tobin

Ok so it’s been a while since I used Mystic Mondays on this blog, so I feel it’s appropriate to note that instead of pages, princesses are used! That’s about the only difference to a regular deck.

Now, onto the spread!!

Beginning of the timeline: Four of Wands, Queen of Wands reversed

Starting out, you had lots to celebrate at home with your family and friends. I get the feeling others were jealous of this--but once the apocalypse started, you had to put your differences aside.

Middle of the timeline: Judgement reversed, the Emperor reversed

I think this means someone had you on complete lockdown, like abuse-of-power style. You may have been insecure as well at this point, because you felt as if you couldn’t do anything to get out of the situation--but you weren’t self-aware enough to realize that you could get out. I’m under the assumption that you did?

End of the timeline: Princess of Pentacles reversed, Three of Wands

While you were looking ahead, even towards the end, you may have gotten a bit lazy or careless. Maybe you let your guard down at the wrong moment? I don’t know enough to say for sure, but hopefully that lends insight.

Central theme/issue: Eight of Cups reversed

Fear was a large central theme, particularly the fear of the unknown I think. This was all new to you at some point, and while you did get confident, I don’t think you ever stopped doubting yourself 100%. Even if it was just a little, there was fear of the unknown coming to get you.

Challenges faced: The Hermit reversed, the Fool reversed, the King of Pentacles, Death reversed, Queen of Cups reversed

You struggled with loneliness, whether it be genuinely not having friends or isolating yourself from the friends you had. You had trouble with finding your way, in that sense.

You were also reckless, and tended to get taken advantage of. While you were eager to get learning about everything outside, you forgot to guard what was inside, I think.

You likely also struggled with security in the financial sense, and that seems obvious since it’s an apocalyptic setting, but it must have been something important if it came up as its own card.

You struggled with that fear of change as well. While the fear of the unknown was your central theme, the fear of change was there; perhaps, “What if this stops working and we die?” Something along those lines stands out to me.

You were insecure and depended on those around you once you finally broke out from isolating yourself.

That’s what I got from the reading, but don’t forget that you know yourself best! If some of this doesn’t resonate, you can look up the card meanings or you can just leave it!

One thing I did notice though was a lot of Major Arcana, leading me to believe that you were very important. I don’t really know anything about TWD but hopefully that sounded right!!

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 7

GREENE FARM~DAY AFTER DARYL’S NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY

I woke up next to Daryl in an actual bed! Feeling amazed at the luxury, after all the nap I’d taken during Carl’s trauma was more of the pass-out not aware type of sleep, I cuddled into Daryl’s side. The side he hadn’t pierced with one of his own arrows. I felt him shift under me and chuckled.

“You are the world’s worst patient, Daryl Dixon.” I whispered, glancing up at him. I’d managed, through sheer force of will, to get him to agree to a sponge bath after dinner. And I even convinced him to let me run back to our tent for a change of clothes for him. Now all the gunk and blood was clear from him, and I had a promise that he’d take advantage of Hershel’s offer of a shower, as soon as he was given the ok.

He groaned after my statement, looking down at me with his version of a pout. Which meant he was glaring at me. “And ya can be a naggin’ nurse, Jessica Grimes.” He grunted, softening his irritation by kissing my forehead. “Don’t know why I had to let ya clean me up last night.” He muttered.

I gave him a look. “As I recall, you didn’t seem to mind during that washing.” I raised an eyebrow as I remembered locking the door and taking my time to be very thorough.

Daryl shrugged, but I could see him fighting a smile. “It wasn’t completely horrible.” He answered, looking at the lace curtains covering the windows. “Might even let ya help me in the shower, since I’m injured and all.”

I laughed and crawled from the bed to find Hershel. I wanted to make sure that Daryl was ok to come back to our tent. He wasn’t going to rush, whether he liked it or not. I found the farmer on the porch, enjoying the morning. He assured me that Daryl would be fine to return to his daily routine, barring stealing another horse. I chuckled and thanked him after he told me Daryl could shower the next day.

Returning to the invalid’s room, I found Andrea offering him a novel and Daryl warning her that if she ever shot at him again, he “best be dead.” I nodded, and then looked up at her. “If you don’t know how to properly handle a weapon, perhaps Dale was right, and you shouldn’t have one.” I glared at her before she could open her mouth for one of her glorious retorts. “Leave.”

Daryl was watching me closely as I sat down on the bed. “She fucked up, Jessi, but we’ve all fucked up one time or another.” He said, taking my hand in his. “Let it go, I have.”

I shot him a look and he smiled. “Ever fuck up and nearly kill someone?” He just stared at me. “Because that’s what Andrea did. She couldn’t see through the glare of the sun, and she shot at you. She was aiming for that thick head of yours, Dixon. If she was better with weapons, you’d be dead. And so would she.” It was a statement and I meant every single word of it. “Jessi,” he whispered, clearly not expecting the force of my reaction to the situation. “Baby, I’m OK. She didn’t kill me, hell, I did worse to myself yesterday.” He was trying to calm me, but this was one topic that it wouldn’t work.

I pulled my hand free from his and leaned closer to his face. Cupping it between my hands, I stared into his eyes. “You’re not dead because of her lack of skill, Daryl. That’s not a win, not when I know Dad will insist everyone learn their weapons better. You’re not dead because Dad hasn’t had a chance to teach her up.” I sighed and ran my thumbs along his cheeks. “She isn’t right for this world, I know it, and it’s going to get someone killed.”

His hand slid to cover mine, holding me to his face. “Then we watch her.” He agreed. “We make sure that she doesn’t screw up. Jessi, you can’t just get rid of people because they’re-”

“Dangerous?” I scoffed. “That’s what Andrea is, it’s what Shane is. They’re both ticking time bombs, the only question in my mind? Which one blows first?”

 HOURS LATER~OUTSIDE OUR TENT

Daryl and I had agreed to disagree on the Andrea situation. His let bygones be bygones made me want to scream, but I understood it too. This new life, with walkers trying to kill us, and people not much better, made some strong. Unfortunately, Daryl felt that we just had to train up the weakest to make them better suited.

I did agree with the sentiment. For instance, Carol would probably learn to survive. Dale? Well, Dale was pretty much a hippy type, but if it came to killing walkers, he was game. That was a mark in his favor. His fear of ending a human’s life, however, was going to end up problematic. People, I could tell, were going to be just as dangerous to us as walkers. I mean, Dad told us what happened in Atlanta with the “gang” he’d halved the gun supply with, and let’s not forget Dr. Jenner.

Here’s my list for people in our group who would probably learn to survive better: Daryl Dad Shane (that kills me to admit) Me Carl Glenn (he’d be higher on the list, but he wasn’t raised by my dad) Lori (iffy, she’s still a little timid) T-Dog Carol (once we find Sofia, or we put the poor child to rest, whichever) Dale (once his bleeding heart savior shit is put in its place) Andrea

That’s how it would work, in order of best chances to least. See who’s last? Yeah, because she’s not going to make it. Even if she learns, she’s going to still make the stupidest decisions and then we’ll be the ones to clean it up or take the hit. I didn’t share the list with Daryl. Because honestly, I think he might have taken it as a personal challenge to prove me wrong. That and his head would grow three sizes too big to fit through the door of the tent, since he outranked my dad in the pecking order.

He was happy to hear about the shower. Whether it was the actual bathing, or the fact that he was going to do his damndest to get me in that hot water with him, I’m not sure.

We spent the day listening as Dad planned to take the group shooting (told you so), and then work on the areas surrounding where Daryl found Sofia’s doll. Daryl, I was happy to notice, would be staying back with me. I begged off the shooting practice by holding up my bow to my dad. He laughed and rolled his eyes, but walked away without a fight. Daryl was watching me and I saw his interest in my response and I knew he was wondering if I could use a gun.

“I can shoot guns, Daryl.” I answered him before he could form the question. “My dad was a sheriff’s deputy in the south. Of course, I’m proficient in gun use.” I rolled my eyes.

He gave one of those gruff chuckles I loved. “Didn’t want to give yourself a little practice? Practice makes-”

“Perfect, yeah, I might have heard that before.” I watched his eyes grow darker at the memory of the last time I was told about it.

I ran over to the RV to see if Dale needed help with watching over us all on the roof. I’d rather be with Daryl, but I also knew that every little bit helps. It’s how I caught Glenn acting twitchier than usual and asking Dale if Andrea might be on her period because she was acting crazy.

He actually thought, and I quote, “I’m only asking ’cause it’s like all the women are acting really weird. And…and I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”

I coughed and he realized that I was standing nearby. “I can attest that I am NOT currently having my period, but thanks for asking, Glenn.” I grinned at his blush. “Andrea’s off her rocker most days, as for the OTHER ladies,” I raised an eyebrow to remind him that I knew who he was thinking of, “I’m sure that’s not the issue either. We’re dealing with the apocalypse, dude, what did you expect?”

Dale grinned at me and agreed. “I’m gonna advise you to keep your theory to yourself.”

I nodded, “Telling a woman she’s PMS crazy brings out a whole new round of nuts.”

Glenn, far from looking reassured, looked more twitchy. What the hell?

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Dale asked, and I nearly walked away, but thought I might want to hear the answer.

“You’re old.” Glenn started, and I closed my eyes at the poor boy’s tact. “You’re… you know things. So what if someone told you something that someone else should know…”

I rolled my eyes as Dale told him to stop being dramatic and spit it out.

“There’s...there’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant.” He spit it out alright, and I nearly did too. Fuck, WHAT?

“WHAT?!” I had to keep myself from screaming. They both remembered I was standing near them and who I was. “I’m guessing Dad doesn’t know?”

Glenn shook his head. I ran my hands over my face. Fuck, this was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Dale asked if he should speak to Hershel, and I considered it. Having Hershel explain himself to Dad would be MUCH better than one of us. I nodded. As for Lori? There’s no chance that baby is my dad’s. NONE. Great, a baby Shane. Unless Dad raised it. Wasn’t there proof that nurture was JUST as important as nature?

“About Lori,” Glenn started and I held up a hand.

“She can figure it out,” I said, trying to school my features from shock to whatever I could manage. I shook my head. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear this entire mess of a conversation. Dale? Do you need me to stand watch?” He shook his head and I walked away.

Finding Daryl sitting by our tent, I knew he’d be able to tell something was wrong, but I hoped I could distract us both. His smile made those damn butterflies in my stomach start up again. It was better than the nausea Glenn’s news made me feel.

“Wondered where ya got off to.” He said, patting the ground beside him, but I shook my head.

“Had to make sure Dale didn’t need help with watch.” I offered and he nodded. Standing he loomed by the tree he had been sitting against.

“Does he?” He asked, and I shook my head again. “So what’re we gonna get into all alone while they’re gone?”

I raised an eyebrow and was gratified when he rushed to me and smothered any further conversation with a burning kiss. I sighed into him, trying desperately to be careful of his wounded side.

“I’d really like to carry ya inside the tent,” he whispered against my lips.

I smiled at the thought of it. “If you screw up those stitches, I’ll catch hell from Hershel.” I giggled and took his hand. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of walking with you inside the tent, Daryl.”

The others were gone, except Dale, Carol, Glenn, and the Greene family. And entering our tent, I watched as Daryl groaned and lay back on our sleeping bags. I knew this killed him, being at anyone’s mercy, even mine. Yet, I loved that he trusted me enough to allow it. I bit my lip and looked down at him, fully clothed and clean, thank God. I could still see the ear necklace and all the blood and gore from the day before.

“What’re ya lookin’ at?” He asked, his gruff voice husky and his eyes barely squinting to take me in.

I smiled and laid down beside him. “You, Daryl Dixon, I was looking at you.” I ran my hand up his chest, careful of the bandaged side. “And I was wondering something.”

I knew his eyes were closed without looking, because I felt him sigh into my soft touch. “What’s that?”

“Why was your mouth coated in blood yesterday?” I asked, sitting up on my elbow to look down at him. I saw him grimace slightly, ut-oh.

“I might of eaten a squirrel,” he stopped and wouldn’t look at me, “raw.”

Ugh, I thought, I’d kissed you yesterday and hadn’t even noticed. “Ah.” Was all I said, and I felt him twitch. “Remind me to never ask that question again.”

He chuckled at that. “So tough, but won’t even eat meat straight from the source. It was still warm-like.” He shook his head and met my eyes as I grimaced. “Should have warned ya, but your kiss was all I could think about on the way back.”

“I can’t fault that logic.” I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him again. When I pulled back, his eyes were more black than blue. “Since you’re injured, I should probably take care of you, right?” I asked, we had been so focused on our first night together that we’d never gotten to much more than the full act, so I wanted to be sure.

I watched his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow. He nodded and that was all I needed to get into caretaker mode. I gave him a smile and began kissing down his neck, flicking against his pulsepoint and feeling his hand run down my back and then back to my head. I kept going, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing each inch of skin that was exposed as the buttons fell open. His nipples were taunt, and I spent a moment enjoying each one before returning to my route. Down his stomach, nuzzling his bellybutton, and then my fingers found the button on his jeans.

“I probably shouldn’t completely undress you,” I whispered against his skin as I flicked the button open. “Just when I do, we’ll be called to defend the damn world.” I felt him chuckle as my fingers opened the zipper. “But I’ll make sure everything necessary to your recovery is bared to my attention.” His fingers slid under the tightness of my braid and I smiled against his pelvic bone. He lifted his ass long enough to free that part of him I was most concerned with, and then he was free. I hummed in approval. “Oh, I’m more than certain I can make you feel all better, Mr. Dixon.” I looked up to see he’d put his other arm under his head to get a better angle to watch me. I smirked at him as my tongue flicked against the head that had given me such pleasure in the bright light of the moon. “Just let me know if there’s anything that you need to make a full recovery.” And with that I engulfed him with my mouth, my hand moved to the base and together with my mouth and tongue, I worked him.

“Shit, Jessi,” he hissed, his fingers tangled in the depths of my hair. “Yeah, fuck, just like that.”

I moved slowly, then faster, then slower, making him moan and gasp. His hand in my hair tightened and I knew he was ready, but he did the unexpected, he yanked me from him. “Get up here, Jess.” He growled and my mouth met his with a hunger that was even more than the night before. “I need ya. All of ya.” He moaned against my mouth, and I felt his hands sliding down to my own jeans, undoing them and tugging. “Pull em off.” He ordered and I pulled back, kicking off my boots and ridding myself of my pants. “Now climb on top.” Demanding, I thought, but I was powerless to deny him.

I straddled him and then he snapped up into me. We both moaned at the feeling. We hadn’t thought it was right to try in Hershel’s house, in a stranger’s bed, but this, I rocked my hips and felt sparks between us, this was US. He pulled me back to him, so most of my weight was on him. I was trying to be so careful of his wound, but he wouldn’t allow it. Not now, not here, here we had to connect. And so, my covered chest was tight against his, even as he quickened his pace of thrusting. He swallowed my screams of pleasure as I was fed his own. And for the first time, but not the last, when we came, we didn’t part.

And for a brief moment, I forgot about the walkers in the barn and my newest sibling on the way.

[carl-grimxz]

Confused Feelings- Part 5

Carl Grimes x Reader

Part 5

Summary: Y/N simply wants things to go back to normal... how they used to be with Carl, but maybe that isn’t actually possible. There are a few members of the group that will Y/N to go with her heart, but it isn’t that easy, is it?

Word Count: 3,601

Warnings: None :)

A/N: I am loving writing this series. I will probably only do a couple more parts to this, but if anyone is interested I might do a couple requests? If that’s something you want anyway! Message me if so <3 Enjoy part 5!

I wake to the bright light of sunrise shining in through the small gap between the closed curtains. I squint as my eyes adjust to the brightness and lay there still, going over what happened last night for what felt like the billionth time. I let out a wide yawn and sigh while rubbing my eyes. I didn’t sleep too well. Well, I think I got a few hours but there was a lot of tossing and turning to begin with. I’m not too surprised though, all I could think about was Carl. 

I couldn’t sleep knowing how I just left him without an explanation. He didn’t deserve that, but the more I thought about it the more I realised how it couldn’t have gone any other way. I’m too scared to tell him how I really feel. I had to just leave. It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty though.

I pulled myself up to a sitting position reluctantly and stretched. I suppose I ought to get up and make my way downstairs, I mean I can’t stay in this room forever, although I’d kind of like to. I have to face them eventually, but the prospect makes me seriously anxious.

Now Y/N, just get up and go. 

I slept in what I wore yesterday and I have nothing else to change in to, but I move to stand in front of the full length mirror to try and neaten myself up as much as I can. Once my clothes and my hair are looking tidier, I open the door and step out of the room hesitantly. That’s the first step done. As I make my way towards the stairs, I start to hear talking from below. I guess they’re all awake too. 

I let out a large sigh, attempting to build some courage and make my way downstairs.

“Ah mornin Y/N, sleep well?” Maggie was the first to notice me come into the kitchen, where the majority of them were. Then the rest of them become aware of my presence and greet me as well.

“Morning! Yeah ok thanks, you?” I answered with a smile. I decided to lie about my awful nights sleep through fear of them asking why it was so bad.

“Yeah good.” She responded enthusiastically 

I scanned the room quickly and everyone but Carl and Rick were here. I was kind of relieved but I am wondering where they might be.

I stood at the doorway, uncomfortably and spotted Sasha, Michonne and Rosita talking on the other side of the room. I made eye contact with Sasha and she waved a hand at me, motioning me to come over. 

“Hey” I smiled again. I wondered if Sasha had told anyone about last night.

“Here have some trail mix”, Rosita handed me a bag full.

“Thanks” I nod my head at her

“So Y/N how are you this morning? You were upset last night. We all felt awful.” Michonne enquired. 

I didn’t know how to answer that. Do they all know about my conversation with Carl last night?

“Umm-”

“Yeah, you know after the walkers…” Sasha helped me out “You never came down again after” Right yeah. Of course… Michonne is talking about Carl nearly dying, not what happened after, which I’m now assuming she must not know about. Thank god. I knew Sasha wouldn’t have told anyone about what Carl said to me.

“Oh yeah well, you know… Carl’s my friend, I thought he got bit. I was worried.” I played it off like that was all it was. They probably don’t believe that, I don’t know why I bother.

“Of course…” Michonne gave me an empathetic smile but she had a suspicious look on her face. 

Rosita sensed the awkwardness in my face and tried to change the subject. “Hey so Rick said we’re good to stay here a while! Isn’t that great?” She seemed pleased.

“Oh wow, yeah…” As I speak I see Carl and Rick enter the kitchen. Carl sees me straight away but avoids any lasting eye contact. I knew I’d upset him. Damn it, I hate myself. I focus my attention back on the three women in front of me, who notice my hesitation and all flick their eyes towards Carl and then back to me, assuming I hadn’t noticed. “Yeah that is really great.” I smile, trying and probably failing to act unbothered.

-

It was now gone lunch time and I had spent the entire day with Maggie, strangely enough. It was really nice actually. She never tries to quiz me about my feelings or about Carl, mainly because I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know about any of it. She spends all of her time with Glenn that’s why, so I like to hang out with her because I don’t have to think about Carl at all, although I’ll admit he has been on my mind a little. I haven’t spoken to him whatsoever today. I’ve been avoiding him and I’m pretty sure he’s been avoiding me. I do want to talk to him though. It can’t go on like this. I’ll just tell him I want to be friends and I’m sure he’ll want the same thing. 

He’s been outside most of the day, securing the land with Rick and a couple others. I should go and find him.

After excusing myself from Maggie, I head out to the porch and try look for Carl from there. I wanted to see him before he sees me so that I can take a moment to gear myself up. God I’m pathetic. After only a couple seconds searching I see the familiar sheriffs hat. He was over at the fence with his dad. I noticed that he wore a thick denim jacket over his flannel. I’ve never seen it before, he must have found it here. 

It is actually pretty cold. I’m stood here in just a plain gray hoodie and black jeans wishing I had put a coat on. Oh well, if I go back in now, I might not come back out. Just get on with it Y/N.

I make my way over to them and hear them chatting with their backs to me. They haven’t noticed me yet. Here goes nothing.

“Hey um, Carl?” I smile, waiting for a response with my arms crossed attempting to keep warm.

His head whips around quickly, while Rick merely glances around, unfazed.

“Y/N what are you doin?, It’s freezing out here!” Rick sounds concerned, squinting his eyes at me.

“No it’s fine. I’m fine, uh Carl… can we talk for a minute?” 

Carl looks at his dad for permission I guess, or maybe an excuse not to talk to me.

“Go on, go inside and warm up, both of you” Rick nods at Carl and gives me a kind smile.

“Thanks” I return the smile to Rick.

“Maybe you can cheer him up, he’s barely said a word all day”.

I pursed my lips, bracing myself for the awkwardness to ensue and I hear Carl sigh quietly. We both make our way up to the house in silence. This is not going to be fun.

I know that there is a study/ office room on the ground floor, as I saw Daryl coming out of there earlier. I figure it’d be private enough to talk without being interrupted, so I lead Carl in there. He followed, silent still.

He shut the door behind us and eyed me curiously. He didn’t exactly look angry as such, he’s never really been angry at me… but he definitely seemed sort of annoyed. I don’t blame him. I’m annoyed at myself.

I fiddled with my fingers, trying to work out what to say but he spoke first.

“So what did you wanna talk about?” I expected animosity but he spoke softly with kindness in his voice.

“I’m sorry” I sighed “About last night… I’m really sorry Carl” I looked at him nervously.

“It’s fine, you don’t like me in that way. You shouldn’t be sorry” Carl responded quickly, without hesitation but with hints of frustration in his voice.

“No it’s not that, it’s just-“

“Then what? What is it?” Exasperation growing in his voice.

“Can’t we just be friends? It’s easier.”

“No…” I didn’t expect that. He sounded tired. “It’s not easier.”

“What do you mean? We used to be so good… best friends. It’s better that way” I was clinging desperately to this last strand of hope I had that we could go back to the way we used to be.

“Better for who?!” His voice broke slightly as he whisper-shouted. I was taken aback by this. He’s never been this upset with me before. “-Not for me.” He calmed his voice, but he still came off as hurt.

“What?” I need him to explain.

“I’m tired of ignoring how I feel Y/N. I really like you.” I was shocked at how much emotion was in his voice.  “I don’t want to be your friend. I want us to be together”

I stared at him, no idea what to say.

“When you thought I was bit last night… your reaction… that is how you feel” He stepped closer to me. “You care about me, a lot. I know it… I feel it, and I care about you too. So why can’t we be together?”

My breath was shaky.

“I can’t… It’s too dangerous. Loving someone in this world… when they can be taken from you at any time. I can’t do that”.

I think he understood, I could see in his face that he did. Carl stepped back away slightly. He didn’t agree.

“Yeah well I don’t know if I can be your friend.”

I’ve never seen him look like this. It was like he was empty.

Once again I found myself lost for words, but it didn’t matter. Before I could say anything at all he had turned and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone. A part of me considered going after him, but then I still had no idea what I would even say. We would just keep going round in circles. 

I try not to think about the old world too much, how life used to be. It would just be too painful to torture myself over ice cream trucks, going to the movies and even just the simple things like running water and electricity. In this moment though, as I stand here I can’t help but long for what this planet used to be. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t be constantly running from walkers. I’d like Carl and he’d like me and we could live a nice, normal life together and everything would be just fine. We’d go on dates and he’d ask me to the prom and we could be happy. That would be my ideal life…. But it’s not like that. I’m stood here not knowing what to do next.

It’s all getting too much right now. I can’t stay in this room. I feel the inevitable happening, and tears are slowly beginning to flow down my face. Only a couple, but I fear it won’t be long before I’m sobbing uncontrollably again. I decide to escape as fast as I can upstairs to the bedroom that I’ve now claimed as my own, without anyone noticing me. Then I can be on my own.

As soon as the plan is formed in my head I quickly make my way out of the room. Nobody can see me from here. On the move again, I sneak through the living area and see the stairs right ahead.

“Y/N?”

Damnit. I look as Sasha, Michonne and Maggie are all sat talking, heads turned looking at me.

I freeze in my tracks and notice that they’re all silent now and have looks of concern on their faces.

“What’s wrong?-” Maggie sounds alarmed. I don’t think she’s ever actually seen me like this before. I usually try to hide any signs of sadness.

“-Have you been crying?” Sasha cut in, trying to keep her voice low so not to attract anyone else’s attention.

I couldn’t keep it in anymore. As soon as they question me I well and truly burst into tears, covering my face with my hands in embarrassment, while trying to stop any noice from coming out as well. I don’t need the whole group knowing I’m upset, especially Carl wherever he is.

As soon as they realise that I’m crying, all three of them jump up and circle around trying to comfort me.

“Come on” Michonne speaks with a caring tone and gentle hand rested on my shoulder. I lower my hands, sure that my face is both red and blotchy, and they lead me upstairs into what must have been the bedroom that Michonne had shared with Rick. I only assume this because I immediately notice his revolver on the dresser.

When all four of us were in and the door was shut, Sasha put both hands on my shoulder and lead me to take a seat on the bed. I had managed to calm myself a little on the walk upstairs, so I can speak at least.

“Y/N tell us what’s wrong” she said with a kind voice. 

The other two watched me with sympathy and I just looked up at Sasha as if to telepathically communicate to her what this is about and that I didn’t want to say it out loud. She probably worked out what the problem was as soon as she saw my face.

All three of them gave each other a look with raised eyebrows and immediately came to sit with me on the bed. Maggie put her arm around me and I automatically moved to rest my head on her shoulder.

After a second of silence, Sasha spoke up. “We saw Carl leave the room you were both in… What happened?”

I just looked at her blankly for a moment, deciding what to say.

Then Michonne inhaled deeply. “We really care about you Y/N. We just want you to be happy, and you’re not are you? Neither is Carl”

Something told me they knew more than they let on. I wipe a tear off of my cheek turning my face to the side, away from them.

“He likes you a lot. He told me this morning” My heads shoots towards her quickly. That’s news to me. I wait for her to elaborate. “I asked him why he looked so miserable and he told me. He said that he admitted having feelings for you last night but you sort of turned him down”.

I sighed. This hurts so much.

“You like him don’t you?” Sasha asked.

“Yeah” I whispered, almost getting choked up again. I didn’t have any fight left in me to deny it any more.

Another pause, while they decide what to say next.

“You can talk to us Y/N…” Maggie adds.

“Why won’t you allow yourself to have feelings for him?” Michonne asks me. 

The million dollar question. 

Ok… here we go.

“We’ve come across a lot of people since the end of the world. People who have been in love. The majority of those couples were shattered. Torn apart one way or another. There has been so much pain. I saw them pouring all of their love into that one person and then what happens next is they grieve. The look in someone’s eyes as they watch the love of their life, the person they’d do anything for, get torn to shreds by walkers or shot or whatever… Killed right in front of them. That’s their heart broken for eternity. A pain unimaginable, incomparable. I never want that. I couldn’t survive it. To love and to lose. It isn’t worth it. Death is inevitable. If I don’t let myself love then it won’t be a problem for me.” They were silent as I finally gave them the answer they’ve been waiting for.

I hastily brush away some more tears as I leave my head and come back to the room.

“Y/N… You can’t live like that” Sasha sounds shocked to hear these words escape my mouth.

“Yeah that’s… I don’t even know how else to say it that’s sad Y/N. Nobody should think that way. Life wouldn’t be worth living.” Michonne exclaimed.

I stand up, frustrated, “I’m trying to save myself heartache. It’s unavoidable.” My voice becomes slightly stronger as I grow fed up.

“It doesn’t happy to everyone” Maggie speaks up “Look at me and Glenn… Michonne and Rick!”

“The lucky few. I’m sorry but I don’t like those odds.”

“You’re looking at this all wrong!” Michonne raises her voice at me. “Look… There’s a lot in this life that is scary, but if we let fear get in the way of everything we do then we might as well just end it all now. We shouldn’t just be surviving, living is important too!”

I didn’t quite know what to say. I’m just not sure.

“We can’t make you agree with what we’re saying, but I am gonna tell you one thing…” I don’t know what else there is to say. “That reaction you had when you thought Carl was gone…” Sashas voice was firm now, and her eyes were wide. “That was grief. That was the exact thing you’re so afraid of feeling!”

“Yeah, it sucked Sasha. I never want that-“

“No you’re missing my point. You were so heartbroken when you thought he was dead because you’re already in love with him!” She was getting louder, intent on finally making me see what she saw.

“…” I had no words. I don’t get it and I’m starting to feel like I’m being attacked in all honesty.

“Yeah exactly! You already love him Y/N-“ Michonne piped up.

“Ok fine, you got me! I love him! It doesn’t make any difference.” My feelings for Carl may be stronger than I thought but that doesn’t change anything.

“Of course it does! Why can’t you just tell him how you feel?!”

“Because I’m scared!!” I was on the verge of screaming at them now, crying as I did so. “I’m so terrified of losing him. If I give in and we… we become a couple then… I just know that we’ll be happy and then out of nowhere something will happen and one of us will be gone! It fills me with fear to think of that happening, don’t you get it?” I’m sure my face was red with anger.

“There you go… you said it yourself” Maggie tried to diffuse the situation by talking calmly.

“What?” I was clueless, whereas they all looked at my like I’m an idiot.

Taking note from Maggie, Michonne calmed her voice too. “If Carl died tomorrow you’d be devastated wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah of course but-“

“It doesn’t matter that you’re not together now, if you lost him you’d grieve just the same as I would if I lost Rick. It’s too late, you love him too much. Stopping yourself from being with him isn’t preventing your heart from being broken! All you’re doing is wasting time… Time that could be spent telling him you love him”.

Oh. 

Only now, now that it’s all been said out loud am I realising that maybe they could be right. There was truth behind everything they had just told me. 

Am I wasting time? Is it too late to prevent my heart from breaking if I lost him?

My eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

Sasha broke the silence. “Y/N go to him and tell him how you feel. I promise you’ll realise this when you do.” Clearly they had noticed my indecision.

“I… I wouldn’t even know what to say” I spoke hesitantly, distracted as I tried to wrap my head around what all of this meant.

I glanced out the window in thought. I was about to tell them how I could never do this, but I saw something outside. Someone. There he was. Stood on his own, looking off into the distance, was Carl.

Right in that moment something changed. I’m beginning to see a future. Me and him. Together.

“You want to be with him.” Michonne seemed to read my mind, smiling for the first time since we even entered the room.

“I do” 

This is the most clearly I’ve seen things in a long time. All of a sudden it all made sense.

“Then go! Go to him and as soon as you see him you’ll know what to say.”

“Thank you” I hugged all three of them in one embrace.

“Don’t thank us!” Maggie laughed.

“Just go!” Sasha gave me the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on her face and winked.

With that I was gone, running out the door and down the hallway, swinging round the bannister and leaping down the stairs three at a time. All of a sudden I just had to be with him.

“Woah where’s the fire?!” Glenn shouted as I ran past the rest of the group and out the front door.

I slowed down at this point, wanting to gather myself a little. Stood on the porch, I watched him, in the very same spot he was just now when I saw him through the window upstairs. Standing with his back to me, hands in his jacket pockets, sheriff hat on his head.

Carl Grimes.

How could I have been so stupid?

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY

I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS MOVIE Y’ALL. I promised I would watch some Oscar movies instead of prestige TV shows with bad red wigs so I sorta did that: I watched Oscar bait. Because lordt knows this movie is not winning any Oscars (and if it does, it is truly the asterisk Oscars). THIS YEAR YOU GUYS. There is so much to discuss in this movie. Yes, the wigs too. Also there are lots of spoilers but here’s the thing: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT WATCH IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND INSTEAD JUST READ THIS REVIEW. I WATCHED THIS HORROR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! YOU ARE WELCOME! 

We begin in Kentucky 1997. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO KENTUCKY 1997. All landscapes/cars/people are beige and broken and depressed. We meet JD who is good at biking and saving turtles and spending the summer with his messed up family. HE IS ALSO A TERRIBLE ACTOR AS IS THE OLDER VERSION OF HIM. Important note: I did not read this book and the real JD is an awful Libertarian asshole and nothing about his story, his book, or this movie should be supported. I AM HERE FOR THE WIGS, Y’ALL. MOVING ON!

As promised, Glenn Close as JD’s grandma MAMAW (YES THAT IS HER CHARACTER NAME) looks exactly like Gene Shalit. A friend of mine made this comparison and I cannot unsee it. Amy Adams, straight off (ok maybe several years off?) deglamming for Sharp Objects is just completely frizzed (and kinda strung) out. These wigs are truly abominable as is this film. Anyway, they leave Kentucky and go back to Ohio where they live and where it is somehow more depressing than Kentucky. 

But ok the wig, y’all. Amy Adams hair is is as shitty and unmanageable as her character which might have been a choice? Still, this wig is a tangled, dried out nightmare that cannot be defended (nor can this character’s child abuse and drug problems). Within moments of returning to Ohio, Amy Adams scolds her child for allowing a gifted dog to pee on her wall to wall carpeting and then the cops have to break up a car slap fight (of her slapping her child!) that spills out into a neighbor’s house. SHE MIGHT BE THE WORST MOM IN HISTORY BUT SHE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ARRESTED FOR WIG CRIMES.

ONTO GLENN CLOSE - SHE LOOKS LIKE GENE SHALIT. THE END. Whoever approved this wig is a huge fan of American film critic Gene Shalit sans mustache. It is the only possible explanation. AND THIS PATCHY MAKEUP. I CANNOT YOU GUYS. I realize that everyone was aiming for deglam Oscars but they went too far. 

ANYWAY. This film flashes between 1997 and 2011, where older JD (again also a terrible actor) is somehow in law school at Yale (OK?) and dating Freida Pinto who this film claims is normal law school age (FUN FACT: she’s 37). Older JD kind of has his life together other than the fact that all the snobs of law school cannot deal with this hillbilly kid who doesn’t know what a salad fork is. And then JD’s sister (played by Haley Bennett aka offbrand Jennifer Lawrence who I actually prefer more) calls and says that MOM IS IN TROUBLE PLEASE RUIN ANY LAW PROSPECTS AND COME HOME EVEN THOUGH MOM IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. AND HE DOES YOU GUYS!

Amy Adams’ 2011 wig/makeup/everything is probably the visualization of 2020? I assume this wig was made from leftover parts from Glenn Close’s Gene Shalit wig grafted onto a Halloween fright wig. It could very easily work for a swamp witch costume if you didn’t care about the quality of your swamp witch wig. IT IS THE WORST AS IS SHE. So she was in trouble because she overdosed on heroin...of course she did. After driving all night to get to Ohio, JD gets a call for a second interview at an important law whatever and just HAS TO GET BACK TO NEW HAVEN in the next like 6 hours which still feel like 600. The whole time he’s dealing with Amy Adams and her fright wig, it is a race against time to see if he’ll make it back and secure his future. I guess this is the plot of the movie? I could honestly not tell you. Basically the whole film (if you can call it that?) is strung together vignettes of strung out Amy Adams and yelling Glenn Close that never really add up to anything? BUT THERE IS SO MUCH YELLING ALWAYS. It’s like the opposite of a slow burn - it’s just constant flames and not the cool gay kind.

In any case, we flash back to the ‘90s where Amy Adams’ wig is basically everything Tonya Harding ever hoped and dreamed for (other than that Olympic medal...also Amy Adams would have been a much better casting choice in I, TONYA which had vastly superior wigs BUT I DIGRESS). We see how this drug habit developed - Amy Adams was a nurse and hoarded pills! This leads to the most truly outrageous film sequence I have seen in a long time where high as hell Amy Adams roller skates through the halls of the hospital where she works in her damn nurses scrubs and obviously immediately gets fired. Also her dad dies! Also she tries to kill herself and ends up screaming bloody murder (also covered in blood) in the middle of street and then goes to rehab (rehab doesn’t work). And then gets married to some rando. And then she gets some new job and needs JD to lend her some pee so she can still be a nurse. This all happens in the course of like 10 minutes.  Like I said, this movie is constant insane vignettes - it’s like 100 plots at once and also no plot at all.

And then JD - definitely out of nowhere - develops a gang of terrible drug addicted teenage friends (sure!) who steal/crash cars and make everyone super pissed at JD. ALSO! For reasons unknown or ever explained, Glenn Close ends up in the hospital herself and then has the realization that only she can save JD from his effed up life AND TEARS ALL THE IVS OUT OF HER ARM AND STORMS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO CONSEQUENCES OR EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY SHE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU GUYS. 

Also! JD tries to steal a graphing calculator for school from Radio Shack (this is for sure the most 90s sentence I’ve written in a while!) AND GLENN CLOSE IS PISSED! She lays down the law and also buys the graphic calculator herself even though that means they have to live off meals on wheels. BUT! Then he gets the best grade of the entire class on his math quiz and I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HE KNEW HE HAD THE BEST GRADE IN THE ENTIRE CLASS AS THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED OR SHOWN AND I NEED ANSWERS! Regardless, the graphing calculator not only saved JD’s grade point average but maybe set him on the path to Yale??? The concept that consumerism is the only thing that will help you as a “hillbilly” is really troubling and bespeaks the issues with this work of non-fiction as a whole. Anyway this movie really want you to know that GRAPHING CALCULATORS SAVE LIVES!!!

There is also a wig battle royale between Amy Adams and Glenn Close wherein there are absolutely no winners (but we, the viewer, definitely loses most!) It is honestly unclear to me how this fight ends (or how any fights end in this movie) because every interaction turns immediately into a fight and when said fight reaches its zenith, the movie cuts away to another vignette! Regardless, the wigs are complete garbage AS IS THIS MOVIE.

Back in 2011, Amy Adams refuses to be admitted to a rehab facility and older JD drives her back to her druggie boyfriend’s house which looks like this and I was like...hold up where have I seen this house before?

The answer is: 2010′s THE FIGHTER ALSO STARRING AMY ADAMS DEGLAMMING HERSELF FOR AN OSCAR SHE DIDN’T WIN! Ok actually in comparison, these houses aren’t that similar other than they are depressing houses with multitier front porches BUT STILL. 

Anyway, JD leaves Amy Adams and her sad swamp witch wig at some random motel where nothing is resolved between them at all and then he drives all night back to New Haven whilst talking to Freida Pinto on the phone (SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP TOO, DUDE! HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS PLAYING 14 YEARS HER JUNIOR! SLEEP!) And then...he does get to the interview and....the movie ends!! WHAT!TRULY AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND WAS IT A MOVIE? I STILL DON’T KNOW!

There is an epilogue of pictures of the real people and you guys: MAMAW LOOKED NOTHING LIKE GENE SHALIT. Also why do I even care about these real people???? Yes the real JD made something of himself....he wrote the book on which this movie is based and became a Libertarian asshole and worked with Peter Theil?!?! OK??? I guess the full story is in the epilogue? But this movie absolutely begins and ends nowhere and in between we are treated to a lot of nonsensical yelling and terrible, awful, no good wigs. I IMPLORE YOU: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!! MAYBE WATCH SOME YOUTUBE CLIPS OF GENE SHALIT INSTEAD! 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[miss-musings]

A hellstrop look at 4.04

Since this went so well last time, I figured I do it for this episode as well.  Because, believe me, we got plenty of material to work with here:

Right off the bat, with the magical Pictionary scene, Eleanor and Michael are once again on the same side. They are separated from the humans, but very much together. This makes me wonder whether the humans (namely John, as someone theorized last time) ever think they’re like ~together~ bc they don’t know how Architects’ lives work.

Also, I noted this in another post, but it looks like Michael’s tie matches Eleanor’s sweater again. It’s really hard to tell, but it at least looks like it’s of a similar color, even if it isn’t exactly the right shade.

I find it interesting, that when Chidi goes up to draw the picture, Eleanor moves to his other side, so that she and Michael are separated by Chidi. But, when the magical pony starts to go a little crazy, she moves back over to Michael’s side.

OK, when Michael suggests that, instead of doing an all night brainstorming session, they should relax... it flew by me the first time. But the second go around, I realize exactly what he’s doing. He sees that Eleanor is becoming a lot like he was in the first version of the neighborhood — acting crazy, neurotic, and stressed about the situation. So he recommends that they do what she what recommended he do in 1.06, which is to relax so they don’t burn out. If he had suggested karaoke, it would’ve been more obvious to us. So I think they wanted to throw us off by having him suggest something very out of character, like a slumber party.

Also, Michael, why would you want to have a slumber party? Also, isn’t that basically what an all-night brainstorming session is?

When Glenn accuses Michael of being an imposter, instead of looking at the others, Eleanor looks at Michael. Makes sense, but then, rather than staring at Glenn in disbelief or anger, Michael looks at Eleanor bc she’s looking at him.

I have to admit, that when they were having their little confrontation in Mindy‘s house, when they first bring Glenn in, the fact that Michael called Eleanor “Shellstrop” during their one-on-one was very weird. Made me wonder whether it really was him.

When Eleanor says she’s locking them in separate rooms, Michael actually winks at her. Ted Danson can’t wink!  Every time he’s supposed to wink, he just says the word “wink,” like in 2.08. That was another thing that threw me for a loop, making me wonder whether it was actually him the first time around.

Ted Danson also has such a great way of delivering the same line with two completely different emotions. He did it in 2.05. And he does it again here. Michael is only really upset once it looks like Eleanor doesn’t believe him at all anymore. Seeing her look at him with distrust is the worst punishment for him.

Also, a correction to my earlier statement:  Michael’s bowtie doesn’t really match Eleanor’s sweater. His bowtie is a straight-up blue, while her sweater is more of a dark teal. Still, there were a few scenes where the lighting was off enough that it looked very similar in color.

I love seeing Michael trying to convince Eleanor to trust him, and Eleanor becoming upset that Michael lied to her. The only reason that they’re both so upset over the situation, is because they both care about each other so much. And Eleanor has clearly put a lot of trust in Michael over the months. 

As a sidenote, I should’ve picked up on the fact that Janet was a fake earlier in the episode. When the humans are all stressed out and worried about whether Michael is real or not, Janet doesn’t seem to care. and we know Michael and Janet are very close, especially after all their time on earth. If Michael were an imposter, or even suspected of being an imposter, she would definitely care.

OK, so the scene where Michael talks about being a fire demon: Michael seems to look primarily at Eleanor throughout the entire scene. He looks at Tahani and Jason occasionally, especially right after either of them talks or asks a question, but 80% of his eye contact is with Eleanor.  He addresses her at least twice by name during the scene. Yes, I’m sure he would care if Tahani and Jason saw his real form, but he cares the most about whether Eleanor sees it and no longer looks at him the same way. Once again, it’s her feelings that matter the most to him. Also the way that Eleanor talks to him about taking off the suit, her comments sound like the type of thing she would say as a sexual innuendo. She told Chidi to “show me what you’re working with” in reference to his chalkboard in 1.05. And she says the exact same phrase again here.

Also, I love how authoritatively Michael says that he’s not going to take off his skin suit. I wonder whether he did that on purpose, so that Eleanor would find him reassuring. LOL

When he says, “There’s so much juice” the captions both when it aired on TV last night and on the rewatch via the NBC app show it as “There’s so much juice, El.” It’s hard to hear whether he says her full name or shortens it, but him abbreviating it is another weird thing I don’t think he’s ever done before. First he calls her “Shellstrop” and now he calls her “El.”

Alright, so to properly investigate this, I turned my volume really high, and really paid attention to his lip movements. He definitely says her full name. The “El” syllable is louder than the others, but he definitely says her full name. So I find it very bizarre that the captions abbreviate it when he doesn’t. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, back to the show:

When Eleanor says that it’s convenient that Michael doesn’t want to take off his demon skin suit because he’s shy, she gives him a look up and down! And of course, Michael explains the real reason he doesn’t want his friends to see his true form, is because he doesn’t want them to look at him any differently than they do right now. Even though he’s a demon, and they know he’s a demon, he has always appeared as a human to them. So he doesn’t want them to see him any differently than as a human-like demon — than as their friend. If he appears human, it’s easier for them to believe he’s on their side, but if they were to see his true form, they would probably feel differently. Or at least that’s what he believes.

Also, I just want to point out, that when he does his little speech about how he doesn’t want his friends to look at him any differently, he looks directly at Eleanor. About 95% of that speech, he is making eye contact with her.

So, after Glenn blows up, Michael is happy, because he gets to be with his friends uninterrupted again. Eleanor points out that she still doesn’t have reason to trust him, either because he lied to her or because he’s an imposter. That is another scene in which he mostly focuses his attention on Eleanor. And he is definitely very upset based on his facial expression whenever she says that she can’t trust him.

So the scene where Eleanor goes to talk to Chidi reminds me of two important hellstrop convos from earlier seasons, when Michael was the Architect and she was the subject. The first, when she tells Chidi she recognizes his mood, reminds me of when she told Michael in 2.05 that she recognized what he was doing bc he was “pulling an Eleanor.” And then when she talks about encountering human stuff, she sounds a lot like Michael talking to her about the human stuff he likes (frozen yogurt and “Friends” the TV show) in 1.06. Granted, she doesn’t remember either of those memories, so they’re really more for the audience. The latter example, especially, shows us once again that there’s a separation between Eleanor and Chidi, as she’s the “architect” and he’s a human. To Eleanor, Chidi is a subject in her experiment (along with being an ex); and to Chidi, Eleanor is some kind of angelic / divine authority figure. So, yeah, separation.

OK, so the scene where Michael offers to blow himself up:

When Eleanor says that they’ll restart the experiment, but a part of her is always going to wonder whether that’s actually Michael any time something goes wrong...

(And as an aside, why can’t Eleanor just ask him something only Real!Michael would know... like something from their time on Earth with the Soul Squad. Does she really expect Vicky or Shawn would know everything that Michael would? She can’t ask him about the reboots, bc she doesn’t remember most of them, but why not ask him about that time they went to find her mom, or when they were in the diner and he poured ice tea on her, etc.? OR why not ask about the reboot where he asked her questions in his office? None of the other demons were there, so only she and Michael would know about it. Anyway... it doesn’t really matter bc it lead to like the best callback ever.)

So, Michael, after pondering thoughtfully on Eleanor’s remarks about not being able to trust him, offers to blow himself up. 😭

Again, 95% of his dialogue and eye contact is directed at her.

And I like how he can admit that Chidi being a subject is objectively what’s best for the experiment and, thus, humanity. He’s willing to blow himself up so that they don’t have to restart everything. (And a small part of the hellstrop fan in me wonders whether he’d rather blow himself up than see Eleanor and Chidi together again. But I don’t think Michael is quite that petty or jealous.)

And of course, WE get the call back to 1.07 with “Take it sleazy,” but they don’t. 😭

So when they’re talking to Bad Janet and Michael throws down the explode-y thing, there’s a jump cut to Eleanor holding Michaels arm. Makes me wonder whether there was a line or something there that they cut for time, where she reassured him or something.

And then, when Eleanor — not remembering the portal scene or Team Cockroach — says that offering to sacrifice himself up to help a bunch of cockroaches (AKA, his friends) is the about most Michael thing he could do.

😭😭😭



I’m dead, you guys.

And he does give her a look like “Oh, maybe she remembers” when she says the cockroach thing. Maybe it is a latent memory thing, like another M/E fan pointed out.

And just when I thought we’d be done with this hellstrop read...

They’re on the platform and Michael and Eleanor are talking, and he says all they can do is try (their best), which echos Eleanor’s words to the Soul Squad in 3.04. He’s always been paying attention to her. He’s so in awe of her and her raw humanity. 😍

P.S. I really hope that Michael and Jason brought that explode-y thing with them, because it’d probably come in handy with all the demons in TBP.