#I HAVE THREE DAYS LEFT IN MY CLASS
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LMAOOO YOU WERE SO FUNNY FOR THE TRY AGAIN TAGS I LITERALLY FELT THE SAME WAY LIKE WE WERE ALL ANSWERING ASK GAMES AND THEN I JUST WENT "okay time to lock in" BC IT'S BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS AND I KEPT ACCIDENTALLY OPENING IT INSTEAD OF MY INBOX 😭😭😭
i was giggling looking at peoples trademarks and then got hit by a FREIGHT TRAIN
#sending love and strength to the omi girls rn#ALSO NESS#I HAVE THREE DAYS LEFT IN MY CLASS#AND THEN IM GOING ON A DEEP DIVE INTO YOUR STUFF#BC I NEED TO CATCH YO#SO LMK IF I CAN DO REBLOGS OR NOT IM OKAY WITH EITHER#the voices#off my rocker#ness <3
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DANG. Absolutely cold-blooded.
#I’d expect a zinger like that outta reggie any day but dilton?#did not see that coming in a million years#he’s choosing an insult OVER answering a question in class correctly?#what did archie DO to motivate this??#archie comics#dilton doiley#archie andrews#mr. flutesnoot#really though you can’t answer the original question without knowing exactly how many gallons archie’s horrible car can hold#my real question is where dilton got 8.342 from#I was expecting it to equal some natural number like 1 or 2 but when I did the calculations it equaled 2.2072932 gallons#I double checked my work with the internet and recieved 2.2037233 gallons instead#I’m almost certain this is a result of mr. flutesnoot rounding his provided number of gallons by several decimal places#so that I calculated the conversion with one liter equaling 0.264 gallons rather than 0.264172 gallons#of course when I checked it again with my own calculator I got 2.203722824 which is closer to but not quite 2.2037233#because even if you rounded it so that a three would follow the two you’re still left with ‘230’ rather than ‘233’ at that one part#so the more accurate values I found must still be rounded by some amount to cause the discrepancy#at ANY rate: unless I have missed something in my calulations the number 8.342 has no particular significance#this isn’t lightning-fast mental math. dilton just made that number up on the spot#and the specificity only exists to make him sound smarter#(and it kinda worked because I did initially assume there was some meaning behind the number)#the joke might have landed better if he’d have said ‘3.785 liters’ (exactly 1 gallon)#UNLESS the gas prices at the time happened to work out so that 2.2037233 gallons equaled exactly one dollar or someth—
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my classmates will go thru 6 hours of class the day after a long excursion through the countryside and then just get up and go run around in town for hours going to movies and shopping and whatever and I'm just sitting here like Aren't you all exhausted . Aren't you all sore and pained. Where are you getting this energy. Can we calm down
#if nothing else this trip has really opened my eyes to how much chronic pain/fatigue does impact my life compared to others#i dunno I guess I just never really noticed. but I just don't have the energy other people do. Not even close. Not even a little bit#I go through a day of class and relish in the thought of spending the rest of my day resting because the agony in my legs#and the unbearable tiredness I feel just beckons me to collapse into bed#but everyone else is just so . energized. and ready to explore. and wanting to run all over the place and do 1 million things all the time#and this is normal? this is how normal people are? Because I'm the only one out of my entire class who seems to be the opposite#everyone just has so much energy. and I Do Not have that energy. I had to stand for most of the past three hours and it's taken me out#for the day i'll be honest. but everyone else just seems so undaunted#and it sucks because i'd love to hang out with these people and join them and whatever but when I do force myself along i'm just so tired#and so pained that all my responses are either dry or i don't say anything at all. i'm just completely out of spoons but I hang on because#i Hate the feeling of being left behind#oh well. eye-opening experience I guess#vent#<- it became that so yeah I'm tagging it#clamtalk#and also? my bee sting? IT ITCHES. Who was going to tell me it'd do that. What the Fuck Man
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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I hate every life decision I've ever made but man it's kinda fucked up I actually enjoy this.
#you can tell i have volatile parents by the fact i rather be at the edge of kms due constant stress rather than like. be happy and chill.#ive been. like. five days studying until i literally cant move my hand. its the most I've enjoyed myself in the last six months.#i tried to review three classes per day and today i fell one (1) behind and was so fucking out of my mind. like. BADLY.#dude. i have left four (4) classes and theres still two weeks before the exam. the syllabus ends the day before. what am i doing.#anyways#bullshit & jules
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Ok testing over and I still have to go to school this SUCKS
#turtledove yells into the abyss#Like come ON man the only two classes I have left in the day are math and world history#I HATE my math class. If it was just world history left in the day I’d be fine bht come on I was hoping to avoid math class#I’m gonna have to eat in my math class and I stg if my teacher gives me shit I’m just going to snap#Like oh MY BAD I just got out of three hours of a doctors office and cognitive testing like leave me alone with my lunch bro ffs
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#so. there’s this girl. we’re taking the same 20hr a week summer class#so for five hours a day we are in close proximity. i saw her on the first day and thought she was cute. we got to talking#became friends. i organized a study group with us and a few other ppl from class but no one else showed… thank god tbh#what was meant to be a three hour study sesh became 12 hours of us talking about everything and nothing. hinting at being gay. more hinting#about being gay. hour ten: i tell her i’m into women. her smile. god. she laughs and says she’s also into women. red cheeks#nervous glances. she’s been kicking my feet all night just because she could. i’m smiling like an idiot because there’s a chance. she keeps#causally initiating contact. it’s getting to hour twelve. i’ve got to go because i have work in the morning. i can’t keep my eyes off her#‘when are we doing this again?’ ‘tuesday’ ‘deal’#i say goodbye followed with a casual ‘see you in less than 24hrs’ she replies even more casually ‘feels like an eternity’#so basically i’m feeling AO NORMAL HAHAHAHA!!! SHES INTO WOMEN.#SHE SAID I WAS INTIMIDATING WHEN WE FIRST MET. FEW HOURS LATER: INTIMIDATING WOMEN ARE ATTRACTIVE. AAAAHAHAAHAHA!!!! I CANT EVEN#basically i’m in LOVE. we’re planning her birthday party already and that shit is months away- just the two of us.WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?#I’m so happy and the one tumblr user that follows me has to know.#the way we’ve been texting for an hour after we’ve left. i’m positively gleeful
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sometimes when I think about how my roommates treated me when I had COVID I get so angry I lose speech
#first context: we are all honors students. none of us want to miss any classes. all of us are busy and don’t have much free time.#second context: I was masking scrupulously. they never wore masks anywhere. I took every precaution possible not to get sick#but in September I did get sick. really sick. symptoms started on the weekend and by Monday I was feverish and loopy with exhaustion#I took rapid tests three times. the third time was at the doctor on Tuesday. I was so out of it my friend had to drive me to my appointment#only the third one was positive. but I was responsible and immediately told everyone I’d been in contact with.#my roommates response was ‘stay in your room. don’t leave. don’t get us sick.’#I took them literally. I was sick. I only left my room to use the bathroom.#I ate four times in four days. on the fourth day I asked my roommates for the first time to make me food#suddenly I could leave my room because they were too busy with homework to bother putting something in the oven#they wouldn’t buy me groceries. I had to ask the friend who’d taken me to the doctor to buy them.#they never asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. it was as if I became invisible the second my door was shut.
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I’M UNSHADOWBANNED HI
#as of like three days ago actually i forgot to check but AUGH… THANK GOD#i so badly did not want to remake this blog im relieved#i will . go through and delete most of my complaining about that lmao but i AM starting classes today so i’m not really hereeee#but i Had To Share This#🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and I’m ✨scared✨#technically it’s nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly I’m going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesn’t open until 10#but like fuck if I’m gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and I’m exhausted#I’ve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. that’s gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates must’ve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didn’t get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think it’s cause I’m self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? it’s a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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ik i just get on here and complain about the same things all the time but god it is so fucking frustrating how difficult it is to get specific days off at my job i really feel that my time doesnt belong to me sometimes
#like i understand that my job absolutely needs to have a certain amount of staffing like its a liability thing whatever. but god sometimes i#remember working in food service and texting the manager two weeks out that i need a certain day off. and just getting it#now its like. i put in my time off wait list request a month before. dont get it bc the waitlist for this particular weekend was a mile lon#6 months ago. get scheduled 8 hour shifts all three days. beg people for coverage and slowly whittle my shifts down by trading in 2 hour#increments since everyone's schedules are fucking insane including mine and none of us can actually trade a full shift. I cant trade half o#these people because theyre not trained to the same level as me. i beg the managers to cut a couple hours in exchange for covering ops#literally in hurricanes. work a one hour shift after class since thats what i could get someone to trade. I still have 5 and a half hours#left to get covered#okay the good news is. erik is coming this weekend:) and i have a free weekend (except for 5 and a half hours)to spend lots of time with hi#i mean thats fiiiiiine like he can find something to do if i have to work. he can read his little law books for a bit#and i expect a hot meal waiting for me on the table when I get off!#i bet he would do that if i asked haha should i get him a little frilly apron and make him be my housewife on that day
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Do you ever observe random people you went to high school with on your FB and you’re just like “you really went all around the world and still picked a boy from our hometown? Really?”
#this girl i used to tutor is now a flight attendant. which is cool#but she’s dating the fucking.. older brother of a guy who was in our class#like???? girl. you went EVERYWHERE and you picked. shane. REALLY?????#and i mean i know every man is somebody’s hometown boy but like. picking a man from your Own hometown after travelling the world#is a little wild to me. you’re telling me you saw czech men with their floofy hair and ginormous arms; american men who will do pushups#to impress you; enormous viking men; italian men and their… everything… and you picked SHANE from our hometown#like girl i left europe one time and immediately fell in love with an american man and had brain worms for three years#so maybe i just don’t get it. but liiiike…#i mean i can’t really say anything because who am i crushing on currently? my only age appropriate coworker#but in my defence; apart from like a few short holidays i have been here for 4 years now and i don’t plan on leaving any time soon#i mean i want to leave but i can’t. if you catch my drift#i think i am allowed to want a hometown boy if i am permanently in my hometown. if i’m jetting off to other countries every damn day?#madness. fall in unrequited love with the only man your age on the plane like a normal person#personal#(i am joking about all of this. before anyone says something like ‘you don’t understand their relationship’ no i don’t. i barely know these#people lol. i’m just saying things recreationally)
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Hey is the Adderall shortage affection anyone else and freaking them out? Because it's freaking me out, lol
(Not so lol. I have a limited amount of medication left and no confirmation on when I will get my refill. I am. Scared.)
#haha#actuallyadhd#im pretty nervous about it#i have classes 4 days of the week so ive been stretching it#but. that means i cant get things done on the other three for the most part#which is becoming a problem#i have 9 pills left#ive never been afraid of not having access to my medication before
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just one more week and then i get to see my kitty!!!! yippee!! :3
#jaytalking#i’m so excited it’s been since labor day since i saw him last in person#like yay. i get to pet him. and he’s going to be soft. and he’s going to purr. and i’ll get to hear him meow#oooooooo that is what’s gonna power me through two to three big projects this week#i’m a little stressed about one bc it involves woodwork and mechanisms. but i think i just need to talk to my teacher about it so. won’t be#awful. and the other one i’m gonna bang out this weekend. and the other other one i need to email my professor about bc i just need some#feedback. like girl. why are you assigning us an art book and then not giving us any time to critique!! killing me#but it’s okay. i have the paper that goes with it mostly done so i just need to make my thing and then like. write the paragraph about then#it’s done! and just an exam will be left for that class
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me to my mom earlier this week: no i’m not stressed! i’m great! just got a lot going on
me three (3) days later‚ approaching a deadline: whuh oh
#vent#should i quit my job y/n?#i’m moving across the state in like two weeks#and meanwhile i have to go to work four days a week. work on my online class (due tomorrow and i have three assignments left)#and i have to pack#and i was sick a couple days ago and im still not feeling the best#and i have to find a new job on the other side of the state where im moving. and i interviews and shit#the one place im really hoping to work at hasnt called me yet :(#another place called me and left a message but i was so anxious that i didnt call them back bc i am stupid 🫠#just want to have a little cry#look i could quit my current job. its super flexible and its seasonal so id just be like yeah actually i have to go now sorry#and it would be chill#and i have quite a bit of money saved#the thought of packing all my shit is so stressful. why do i have so much stuff
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remember being a teen and watching shit like soul eater and kimono jihen and thinking god damn i wish I had a perpetually exhausted but badass mentor to help me get through things?
well now im 27 and im the perpetually exhausted mentor with bedhead and a slight alcohol problem to my 15 year old cousin and im gonna tear my hair out about not being able to just let her stay for a bit because i know it doesnt matter fuck all what i say to her dad, shes still gonna be treated like shit just because shes a moody teen with undiagnosed add and an autustic brother who constantly talks over everyone. i suddenly need a cigarette.
#like he was going on about shes doing bad in school because she sleeps late and all she needs to do#is got to bed early!!! reset her internal clock!!#BRO IM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE AT 27 STILL ONLY FALLING ASLEEP AT 5AM AND WAKING AT NOON BEVAUSE THATS NOT A THING YOU CAN CONTROL#ESPECIALLY WITH ADD/ADHD.#IM LITERALLY DIAGNOSED I CAN TELL YOU YOURE WRONG AND I CAN EVEN SOURCE THE ARTICLES THAT EXPLAIN WHY#FUCKING ARE YOU KIDDING ME#im still mad cause i sat with with poor kid while she tried to keep from bawling her eyes out because she made a snarky comment#about her brother talking about his coin collecting (and to be clean its not jus tthat he cant understand social cues he just literally#never stops making noise. we all know he cant control it but we also all know its because his parents denied he was autistic until he was 21#despite the fact he stopped maturing at 11. we love him.to death but oh my god i cant handle it for two visits a year#Of course his sibling feel like they live in an insane asylum)#like yeah it was a rude comment but fuck can you blame her?????? when shes silenced because he talks over everyone then gets awkward#because she has no idea what to say when she DOES get the chance to speak of course shes going to resent him#ALSO NOT TO MENTIONT HE FACT SHES CHINESE AND WERE ARE ALL VERY VERY WHITE#SHES GOT OTHER SHIT SHE SHOULD BE IN THERAPY FOR#DO NOT MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED FOR HER BY BRINGING ACTUAL SYMPTOMS AND HER SCHOOLING INTO THIS#My god i hate academics like the world does not end because you failed a math class. i dropped out at 16 and all the useful skills i have#i gained after the world opened up when i left and i wasnt being told no thats not on a standardized test you cant do that#im much fucking happier and frankly intelligent than the rest of my family thats wasted time on universities#and like being happy is what matter#why would you wsnt her to be “sucessful” if she isnt also happy#like if school fucking sucks for her then why send her to a rich white private school and fucking SUMMER SCHOOL#imo thats just abuse#like the graded education system is inherently abusive anyway but its worse when its pushed on her like that#i need to move so we have room out east for her to come stay and maybe do some classes free of them#but i dont work and cant drive so i cant help her#hell i can barely take care of myself#but im just so fucking mad on her behalf and she doesnt deserve to feel this way#its happened twice in the three days shes been here#just they all need therapy but they need to fucking listen to her ans i know she wont even feel okay speaking up
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