#I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED OVER A GAME

[evangelical04]

A Single Daffodil || 2

Summary: Getting arranged to be married to your long-time crush wasn't exactly the fairy tale romance you were hoping for. Nor is the dynamic of the marriage, with your husband treating you like you don't exist. But you're going to make this work, whether he cares about you or not. And he definitely doesn't...right?

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Rating: 18+ minors DNI

Word Count: 9.1K

Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, smut, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi

Warnings: parental trauma, sibling trauma, toxic parents, unrequited love, explicit language, alcohol usage, yoongi's kind of mean, future smut

Author's Note: hi everyone! it's currently exactly 2am for me lol but I wanted to get this chapter out today! i was hoping to having the wedding happen but I like it more for the next chapter. all the support has been so overwhelming and amazing, thank you guys so much for all the love!! i appreciate it so much and I'm grateful that you all are so supportive, especially for my first ever fic. i really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! also, just let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist:

@yoongisducky @kam9404 @sumzysworld @tarahardcore @viankiss @babystarcandylovejk @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @igot7fairlyoddparents @baechugff @pb89nv @peachytokki @ratherbfangirling

previous / masterlist / next

You could feel your eyes glazing over with the amount of time you’d spent staring at your computer screen. A quick glance at the clock showed that only a couple hours had passed since you’d arrived at work, and a devastating thirty minutes remained until your lunch break. Rubbing at your tired eyes, you tried to find the energy to resume reviewing the materials your team had sent you, but you came up short. 

The wedding planning had been taking a lot out of you the past couple of months, even though your mother wasn’t letting you decide anything for it anyway. She had been quite clear that all you had to do was show up and that your input wouldn’t be needed. You couldn’t honestly say you had an issue with that, this didn’t feel like your wedding anyway. If it were yours, you would’ve been getting married to someone you love, and crucially, someone who loves you in return.

But that wasn’t in the cards for you and you knew that well, so you went along with your mother’s planning placidly, agreeing to almost everything she mentioned and getting ignored on things you didn’t. It left you exhausted, both physically and emotionally. It felt like an out-of-body experience every time your mother pulled you into another appointment for your dress fittings or makeup and hair test runs. You could feel yourself simply going through the motions and just waiting until the appointment was done so you could return to your mundane life. 

Not much else had changed, honestly. You were still working, hanging out with your friends on occasion, reading in bed, and watching television in the evenings. The only thing looming over you was the date of the wedding, now only six months away. It felt like an omen, always hovering near you, spiking your heart rate, and making you sweat. 

Even your team had noticed your heightened anxiety and expressed their worries to you, especially the youngest, Choi Song Ha. She was a cute, young thing, a fresh face in the industry that you had quickly taken under your wing once you had set eyes on her in the new recruit orientation you visited just over a year ago now. You knew just how quickly the gaming industry ate up and spat out women like clockwork and you didn’t want the same fate for her, so you’d snatched her up into your team. She truly felt like the little sister you’d never had and your bond quickly grew over the months since you’d met. She had picked up on your dampened mood and resolved to leave you small treats of a chip bag or chocolates on your desk every other day or so as a means to cheer you up. She knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t appreciate outright signs of concern or making a scene at work, and you loved her for it. 

She had left you a small red ginseng jelly this morning with a doodle of a grumpy cat stuck to it on a post-it note. It made you smile every time you glanced at it.

It kind of reminded you of Yoongi. The two of you hadn’t talked since that night in the restaurant, and you weren’t sure if you even wanted to talk to him. Your mother had given you his number and you’d saved it, but you hadn’t made any move to message him.

“Team leader?”

You turned, snapping out of your daze to face another one of your team members, Yeonsik. 

“Yes, Yeonsik,” you responded, trying to appear calm and collected, and not like you were just thinking about your soon-to-be husband who hates you.

“We have the materials from the character graphics department for Plan C ready, it’s in your inbox now. They said that they’re ready to make any changes you want, but they’re worried about the deadline for the second draft,” Yeonsik rambled. He was a nice man, only a few years younger than you, and quite passionate about his job since joining your team two years back, just after you’d become the team lead of Planning Group 1. He had a handsome face with longer, dark hair and bright eyes that were eager to please.

“Okay, thanks for letting me know. Also, good job on keeping Graphics 2 on track, I know they’ve been giving us a hard time with getting the updated designs over. Thanks again,” you said politely, sending him a small smile. Yeonsik beamed in response and returned to his seat happily. You chuckled fondly at his antics before opening the file he’d sent. You loved your team members and you held a high respect for them. You knew you led them well and that they respected you in return. It was a small team, consisting of only five people, including you, but you were content with the group and the dynamic. You often went out for drinks together after work, usually followed by karaoke and at least one member passing out, most often Yeonsik, who would then be picked up by his boyfriend. You were a close-knit group and you couldn’t imagine a better job.

Slowly, Mrs. Min’s words crept back into your mind at the thought of how much you loved your position. Surely, Yoongi wouldn’t expect you to quit your job? You wouldn’t be able to bear it. 

No, he said that he would do his thing and you would do yours, you reminded yourself. That’s right, you’d agreed that you wouldn’t interfere in each other’s lives. Except, you hadn’t really agreed, had you? You’d just acquiesced because he’d been in the motion of leaving anyway. You weren’t really sure if that’s what you’d wanted, living separate lives and being married only on paper. 

Yoongi’s words rang clear in your head as you gnawed on your lower lip, was this really how this marriage was going to be? The two of you not even acknowledging each other except at galas and parties where you had to appear married? You didn’t want that.

But…if Yoongi did, how much say did you really have? As much as you wanted to make this work, it had to be a two-way street. If Yoongi didn’t want anything to do with you, you would have to accept that and just try to get through this the best you could. You had said to Joohee that day you’d found out, that there’s nothing you can do to stop him. 

It felt painful to come to terms with, especially in the environment of your office where you still had to appear professional. Thankfully, you breathed, none of your team members had noticed your mini-mental breakdown. 

Your phone buzzed with a new message from Yujin, your mother’s assistant.

From Yang Yujin

Hello Miss Y/N,

Your mother has asked me to confirm your three attendees for your wedding invitations. The invitations will be sent out on Friday night, so please send your three names with their contact information and address to me by then. If possible, please send it at least one day beforehand as Mrs. Seo would like to review them before I send the invitations out.

Additionally, she has set up another meeting for you with Mr. Min Yoongi on Friday, at 6 pm. Please find the location details below.

Please let me know if you need any other information,

Yang Yujin

You sighed, reading over the email again. For one, you honestly didn’t even know who you’d want to invite. You didn’t really have that many friends outside of Joohee, your colleagues, and Jung Hoseok, your friend from college. You knew that Joohee would already be invited, but you weren’t sure about Hoseok. He wasn’t a part of the same social circle as you and Joohee, especially since he didn’t come from a richer family, but you’d met him in college and introduced him to Joohee soon after. The three of you had been practically inseparable during your undergrad but after graduation, the three of you hadn’t met up in person in a while, with Hoseok in Busan for work. You tapped your chin thoughtfully with the eraser end of a pencil, maybe you should send an invite to Hoseok. Suddenly, another thought occurred to you, making the pencil drop from your fingers and onto your lap.

You hadn’t even told Hoseok about Yoongi!

“Damn,” you muttered, making a mental note to call him later today. You’d figure out the other invites later. Your eyes drifted to the second part of the email. 

Another meeting, huh? It sounds like it’ll be just the two of us this time. I wonder if he’ll be any different.

A rap of knuckles against your desk brought your attention back in front of you. Song Ha stood beside your chair, looking at you curiously, “It’s lunch, Team Leader. Want to grab something with the team downstairs?”

Shit, you had agreed to grab lunch with Joohee today. 

“No, Miss Choi, I’ll be meeting a friend of mine. But you all enjoy your lunch!”

“Alright, have fun!”

The team slowly filed out, discussing amongst themselves what they’d get from the cafeteria today. You almost longed to go with them, but you knew you had to tell Joohee about the email you got. 

You could feel a headache coming on. 

Sighing, you stood and gathered your things into your tote bag, never having liked purses, and started the walk towards the elevators to reach the quaint cafe across the street you and Joohee liked to frequent. 

You had arrived before Joohee, which was to be expected with your office right across and decided to grab a table for both of you. Setting your tote bag in the seat beside you, you read the email once more on your phone. It dragged another sigh out of you before you almost jumped into the air at the sound of Joohee’s voice.

“What’s got you so melancholy?’

You breathed out to calm your heart rate from the mini jumpscare and looked up at her. She was dressed a bit more formal than you in a light blue blouse and dark navy dress pants that fell gracefully in silk around her long legs with a maroon purse hanging from her shoulder. Her office was much more formal than yours, working under her father. Your own office often had team leaders and higher-ups in jeans, the nature of your work making it more casual, so you contrasted her in a simple black sweatshirt and blue jeans. 

“I have to meet Yoongi again on Friday.”

“God damn.”

You nodded somberly as she took her seat across from you, “You remember what happened last time? Why does it feel like he’s gonna eat me alive this time?”

Joohee looked at you suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows.

You recoiled, shooting her a glare, “Good God, woman, not like that.”

Joohee relented, waving her hands in surrender, “Okay, well, assume he’ll be the same. Then you won’t be caught off guard. But I think you should still try to get through to him. Maybe, at the very least, you guys can become friends.”

You hummed in agreement, what she was saying made sense. You weren’t exactly hoping for a rom-com drama-like romantic relationship, but being friends wouldn’t be so bad. 

A waiter arrived, taking your drink and food orders, and you and Joohee fell back into easy conversation about your jobs and other small gossip. As much as you were trying to pay attention to what Joohee was saying, you couldn’t help your mind returning to Yoongi and his dark eyes scrutinizing you and his cold, biting voice. 

“Y/N?”

You focused back into Joohee and her concerned stare dug into you, “What?”

“Are you still thinking about Yoongi?”

You nodded, looking away. You felt bad for not listening to her especially when she had basically given you a solution to your anxiety regarding Friday. You heard her sigh before speaking. 

“Listen, Y/N, you can’t stop how he’s going to behave towards you. You can only control how you respond. I think your best bet is to try to tell him you’re not expecting him to treat you like a wife, but you want him to treat you like a friend. Unless that isn’t what you want.”

“No, it is,” you said, keeping yourself from burying your head in your hands, “And you’re right, that’s all I can do. Why didn’t you become a therapist, again?”

Joohee only grinned in response, “I’m too pretty.”

Joohee’s words from earlier echoed in your head for the rest of the workday. Did you really want him to treat you like a friend? Or something more?

You weren’t sure. Of course, you had this half-crush, half-infatuation with the man since you’d met him when you were younger, but marriage was a totally different game. Were you really ready to spend the rest of your life with a man you were attracted to but he couldn’t feel the same? 

Maybe he could.

You knocked that thought away as soon as it entered your mind, you shouldn’t be getting your hopes up. You knew that Yoongi was less than happy about the situation and the unfavorable circumstances would only serve to further distance him from you. You would have to be okay with just being friends if that. 

As you paced around your apartment later that night, you stopped in front of your dresser in your bedroom. In the third drawer from the top was the handkerchief that Yoongi had given you when you were younger. You had kept it meaning to give it back to him, but you had barely seen him since then, let alone had a moment in private to give it to him. 

Most of your interactions had been minimal conversations at parties and galas, often accompanied by Joohee and Seokjin. You couldn’t recall a time when Yoongi had actually talked to you directly in any of those scenarios. So why did your crush persist?

Maybe it was the innocence of your first meeting, the cliche of it all. You, small, sad, and alone, and Yoongi, showing up like your knight in shining armor. You had had a fascination with him since then, always trying to seek out his silhouette or pitch-black hair at gatherings afterward. Yet, he never approached you alone, nor did you make an attempt to do so yourself. You had called it an infatuation with Joohee because it really was, you didn’t really know anything about him, much less had a full conversation with him. Even when you were in a group with him, Seokjin, and Joohee, he would barely acknowledge you. 

Not that he was obligated to.

You fell back onto your bed and stared up at the ceiling, letting out a soft grunt when you hit the mattress. Would you be able to survive actually getting to know Yoongi? Your greatest fear was that you would fall in love with him, you were basically already primed for it. And that would not work out, you knew that, and you refused to consider any other outcome.

You couldn’t afford to get your hopes up.

Turning on your side, you could feel your thoughts drift to your few interactions with him growing up. He had always been polite, but cold. The most he’d said to you was a curt greeting and the barest of small talk. The only other interactions you’d really had were your first meeting and hearing about his escapades through the grapevine, mainly Joohee. Nonetheless, you found yourself infatuated, your eyes finding his slightly round cheeks and pouty lips inevitably. What would life be like once you got married?

You tried to imagine yourself in a domestic setting with Yoongi but quickly shut that down, that would only bring up unwanted feelings. You considered whether or not he would continue seeing other people after you were married. Joohee had said it was very possible. Would you be able to handle it? Joohee had suggested that you fool around a bit yourself but you had quickly dismissed that. Cheating was something you would never tolerate in a relationship, from the other person or from yourself. You knew that the reality would be different in your situation, but you still refused to let yourself stray from Yoongi.

Not that you hadn’t tried in the past. You had been in only two relationships leading up to now, one in college and another as a short burst after graduation. It all felt pointless when you knew you wouldn’t get to choose who you spent the rest of your life with. It was an agony that, along with other factors, ended both of your relationships. Mina had been a bright spot in your life, but she couldn’t deal with the fact that you were not only not out to your parents, but that you would likely not be able to be with her long term anyway. There had been other signs that the relationship wouldn’t work out, and you had tried to remain friends but it didn’t pan out past college. 

The relationship after college that had only lasted a few months was with Jaehyun, a sweet man who had been your coworker at your first job out of college. He was very kind to you and you felt comfortable in his presence, but you couldn’t handle the guilt of going out with him while knowing he wouldn’t be the one you marry. To his credit, he had been very understanding when you’d broken down in front of him in a guilt-fueled spiral. He’d held you until you calmed down, wiped your tears, and squeezed you tight before leaving, stating that you could always call him if you needed anything. You still messaged him sometimes, and you remained firm that if you did get to choose who to marry, he would be your first choice. 

The arranged marriage had been looming over your life since you were old enough to understand the importance of status to your family. You were sure Yoongi’s family was the same. You were both expected to keep your duty to your family, a repayment for the comfortable life you both had lived. Once or twice you had considered telling your parents you wouldn’t go through with it when the time came, but you knew that it would only result in you having to pay them back for everything they had ever given money towards for you. Even though you’d gotten multiple scholarships for college, your parents insisted you go to a prestigious university that rarely gave any money to their students because they knew their parents would have wide-open wallets. There was no way you’d ever be able to pay that back in your lifetime, especially with your current job. 

So you were stuck. But you knew you weren’t really all that unhappy. While the circumstances weren’t what you preferred, you couldn’t deny the small excitement that you felt at the prospect of being able to have a relationship with Yoongi. The caveat to that was also knowing that he was an entirely unwilling participant in this situation, which wasn’t really going to work to your advantage. You were set on remaining a realist, refusing to consider the idea that Yoongi might come to love you. It felt like you didn’t have much of any other choice. Everything about this entire situation made you feel like a passive observer, someone with no impact or voice, which wasn’t far from the truth. You imagined Yoongi was much the same.

Distantly, you wondered how many people Yoongi was allowed to invite to the wedding.

Speaking of! You had almost forgotten to call Hoseok, and it was getting late. You scrambled to reach for your phone, stretching your arm out to the nightstand where your phone sat, and grasping it. Dialing his number, you registered how low his contact was on your recent calls. You really needed to call him more often. Hitting his contact, you waited for the ringing to start. He answered rather quickly, which surprised you, as he was usually an early sleeper.

“Hey, Y/N! It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has. I missed you. Hobi,” you said, not realizing how much you meant it until the words left your mouth. It really had been too long since you’d called.

“What’s up? You don’t sound too happy. Is everything okay,” he questioned, and your heart warmed at his concerned nature. He was always able to read you well, better than Joohee sometimes. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine I guess. I’m getting married, actually.”

The other end of the line was silent for a bit before you heard Hoseok let out a breath and speak, “Oh, wow. Okay. How are you feeling?”

You choked out a laugh, “You’re not even asking who I’m marrying?”

“Well, I know that it’s not someone you chose. So I want to know how you’re doing. When did you find out?”

Your laughter died at his serious nature, your attempt at lightening the mood unsuccessful, “About two months ago. The wedding’s in around six. Want an invite? I get a whole three guests of my own choosing.”

He chuckled softly at that, “Of course I do, you know I’ll be there. But seriously, how are you feeling about this?”

You almost sighed at his unwillingness to let you escape his question, “I don’t know, honestly. I really don’t. I think I’m weirdly at peace with it? I’ve been expecting it for so long and now it’s finally happening. Plus, it being Min Yoongi isn’t exactly the worst thing ever.”

You could hear his surprise over the phone, “Min Yoongi? Like your crush of almost two decades, Min Yoongi?”

You groaned, responding, “Jeez, way to remind me how old I am. Yes, that Min Yoongi. He’s definitely not as okay with it as I am though.”

“What do you mean?”

You recounted the past meeting with his family to Hoseok while he patiently listened and interrupted occasionally to provide his own thoughts. When you finished, you could practically see him falling back against his desk chair, exhaling a burst of air. 

“Well, that’s a lot.”

You let out a short laugh, “Yeah, that’s been my life for the past couple of months.”

“I think Joohee gave you some good advice. I’d probably say something similar to you. Try to make the most of the situation but don’t expect a lot from him. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But, enough about me, how are you doing? How’s work?”

Hosek launched into recapping how busy the dance school he taught at had been lately and the gossip surrounding his coworkers. You felt yourself relax more into the conversation and slowly forget your troubling feelings surrounding Yoongi. 

You would deal with those come Friday. 

It was Friday. You made sure to leave work a bit early, giving you enough time to run back to your apartment to change and look presentable. You had chosen your outfit with Joohee’s help the night prior. You were meeting at a relatively fancy restaurant but it was more of a bar, so you didn’t want to be too formal. You had opted for a green dress with a small flower print since you were coming off the winter months into spring. Your dress was an A-line cocktail dress with a square neckline and puffed sleeves that cinched at your wrist. You’d had it for a while and knew how it looked on you, and you knew you would feel comfortable in it tonight. The last thing you needed weighing on your mind was getting in your head about how you looked, which you usually felt nauseous from. 

With it approaching six, you quickly finished up some minimal makeup, topped it off with a lip tint, and tried your best to make your hair look presentable after what was a long day of work. A glance at your watch told you that you didn’t have much time left, so you rushed to your car, almost forgetting your small purse, and started your drive over to the restaurant. You didn’t want to be late and make a bad impression on Yoongi, although you didn’t know if his impression of you could get any worse. 

After you arrived and were sat at your table, you checked your phone to see the time and were relieved to note that you were a couple of minutes early. You felt yourself relax into the booth and started taking slow, calming breaths to slow down your racing heartbeat. The adrenaline of trying to get to the restaurant on time was starting to fade and you took another glance at your watch. 

6:06

Well, that’s fine. He’s probably just a little late, you tried to reassure yourself, but you had a sinking feeling. As the minutes marched on, the sinking feeling grew deeper, and you could feel yourself growing slightly annoyed. 

6:29

Well, whatever.

You took out your phone from your purse and decided to message him. It should be reasonable, right? You had scheduled this beforehand, after all. Well, not you, your mother, but still, the principle held. 

You:

Hi Yoongi-ssi, this is Seo Y/N. I’m waiting at the restaurant at the moment 

and I was wondering if you were alright, since you weren’t here yet? Please let me know if you’d like to reschedule instead.

You winced at how the text message sounded more like an email between colleagues, but you weren’t sure how casual you were supposed to be with him. Before you could mull over the tone of your message more, you hit the send button and bit your lip as you waited for a response. Your fingers began to pick at your dress in a nervous habit and you kept your eyes trained on the restaurant entrance in case you spotted him. 

Finally, at 6:42, you saw the head of black hair that had haunted your dreams as of late. He walked in calmly, looking slightly disheveled, but his lax pace didn’t betray anything about his tardy entrance. He looked infuriatingly attractive in a well-fitted suit with the tie loosened and the top couple of buttons undone. His eyes met yours as the hostess led him to your table and you smiled politely at him, receiving only a cursory nod in return. The waitress quickly approached as he sat down across from you and took his drink order, two fingers of whisky, while you asked for more water. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to drink, more that you needed to keep your wits about you for this dinner and alcohol would only make you feel nauseous in your already anxious state.

With the waitress gone, he turned to you and you felt yourself flush automatically, something you internally cursed. You wished he didn’t have such an effect on you. He declined to say anything, so you took a moment to take in his appearance now that he was much closer to you. 

You could see that his collar was more rumpled than you initially thought and his hair a bit more mussed. You saw a small mark just barely visible from beneath his white button-up, above his tie. Now that he was much closer, you could smell a faint scent of a sweet perfume that you knew wasn’t yours since you had only worn a very light citrus one. 

Oh. He was with someone else. Why does that bother me so much?

Finally, he spoke, his deep voice lulling you out of your trance of staring at the mark on his chest, “Sorry I’m late. I saw your text, but I was driving. To be completely honest, I forgot about this.”

For a moment, his apology surprised you. For some reason, you hadn’t expected him to apologize. Maybe you’d built him up to be this cartoon villain in your head after your last interaction, but you’d forgotten that he was human just like you. 

“That’s alright, it’s no problem,” you responded kindly, noting the way his eyebrow slightly furrowed at your response, “How was your day?”

He raised an eyebrow at you in a questioning manner, “Are you really going to do small talk with me?”

You let out an embarrassed laugh at your failure to engage him and tried for a new tactic instead, “Okay, what would you like to talk about then?”

“I want to set some ground rules.”

Your surprise must’ve shown on your face because you saw the way his expression almost changed to amusement. You quickly shook off the abruptness of the statement and nodded your head, “Okay, like what?”

“First, you’ll be moving into my apartment. I’m sure your mother already told you,” you nodded, “Do not enter my bedroom or office without knocking. I’ll extend the same courtesy to you. Second, we keep our lives separate. Unless we need to appear at an event together, we shouldn’t be mingling our private lives, including friends, work, things like that. Thirdly, this marriage is going to be on paper only. Don’t expect me to treat you like my girlfriend, or my wife, because we both know that’s not what this is.”

You felt your teeth take in your bottom lip as you considered his words, “Okay, that’s fine, I guess.” You couldn’t really stop him from wanting to do that, but it still hurt some. Any hopes you had of getting a normal romantic relationship after this were quickly dashed by his next rule.

“Lastly, I want this to be open. Our parents aren’t pressuring us for kids, so we can both find relief elsewhere. We both know this is only for increased stocks and influence in our respective companies. So, I do whatever I want and you do whatever you want in that regard, and we don’t interfere in each other’s love lives.”

You felt your face fall a bit, but you tried to control your expression. You had prepared for this, Joohee had prepared you for this. So why were you still so upset? He’s giving you the go-ahead to find whoever you want, so it’s not technically cheating. So why does it still feel so wrong?

“Okay,” you said uneasily, “That’s all okay.” It felt like you were saying it more for yourself than for him. 

His eyebrow quirked once more. They were very expressive, you noticed. 

“That’s it? You don’t have any rules of your own you want to add in?”

Your hands clenched onto the edge of the booth seat, needing something to ground you. Rules of your own? Your head was swimming with everything that had just happened, you could barely think of anything else, “No, none I want to add.”

Yoongi leaned back and clasped his hands, “Alright then. Shall we eat? My dad’s technically paying so eat all you want.”

You shakily took hold of the menu you’d already looked over a hundred times while waiting for him, not wanting to appear rude by being on your phone. You had already chosen what dish you wanted when Yujin had sent you the restaurant name, a habit of yours being to look up the menu beforehand to choose. The waitress approached and took your orders, taking the menu from your hands, leaving you with nothing to grasp your quivering fingers onto. 

You looked over at Yoongi, seeing him on his phone, scrolling. You felt yourself blanch at the blatant disregard and couldn’t find it in yourself to try and start a conversation. 

The minutes passed by slowly, and you were barely relieved when the food came, providing momentary respite by giving you something to do. You felt like you’d never been in a more awkward situation. The waitress quickly refilled both your drinks, and you noted that Yoongi had ordered water this time. It must be because he’s driving. 

Soon, the both of you finished your food, in utter silence. The waitress, who was quite on top of her game, swiftly provided the bill and told you to take your time. You had a feeling she felt the awkward tension as much as you did.

Once the bill was paid, you and Yoongi walked out towards the parking lot where he started shifting to move in the direction of his car before you blurted out, “Wait!”

He turned, facing you with a bored expression, waiting for you to finish speaking.

“I do have a rule actually.”

Seeming slightly intrigued now, he gestured for you to continue.

“I want us to try and be friends. Please.”

He seemed slightly surprised, judging by the way his eyebrows lifted slightly and his mouth parted. Collecting himself, he looked directly into your eyes, his dark orbs boring into your own, “No. I want us to keep our lives completely separate. We’re not friends.”

With that, he turned around and walked to his car, not sparing you another glance. 

“Wow, what an asshole.”

You hummed lazily in agreement, feeling your head lull. You were already a bottle deep in more cheap Moscato with Joohee, as well as a couple of shots of strawberry soju. 

“I know right! I agreed to whatever he said, why couldn’t he agree with the one thing I asked for?”

Joohee winced and prepared herself for your buzzed anger that was sure to flare up at her next statement, “Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. It did conflict with his other rule. Not that I think he’s justified either. There shouldn’t be a problem in being friends.”

Your head snapped towards her, seeing it as a defensive move for Yoongi in your half-drunken state, but before you could find the energy to get upset, you felt yourself melt further into the couch, “Yeah, you’re right, I guess. Whatever, I don’t need him. I’ll just fuck anyone who looks my way, instead.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” you cried, collapsing onto the pillow beside you, squeezing it tight, “Why am I so pathetic?”

“You’re not,” Joohee cooed, “You’re just in a shitty situation. So is he, but at least you’re not being a dick about it.”

You nodded glumly, still not feeling better about the situation. As you cradled the now-empty wine bottle to your chest, you remembered Hoseok.

“Oh yeah, I invited Hobi for the wedding. My coworker, Song Ha too. Can you believe I couldn’t think of a third person?”

Joohee laughed before throwing herself onto the couch with you, “Hey, you don’t need other friends, you have me. Besides, we’ll all be together again, then! It feels like forever since we’ve seen him.”

“Yeah, I told him and he said the same stuff as you. To try and make the best of it, or whatever,” you could feel yourself becoming less and less sober, “Can I crash here tonight?”

“Of course, do you want me to wash your dress for you?”

“No, I’ll just do it at my place. Thank God I have you.”

Joohee only laughed loudly in response, getting up to grab another bottle of soju from the fridge. The two of you lounged around before moving to watch TV in Joohee’s bed where she promptly fell asleep. Soothed by her snoring, you relaxed into her comfortable mattress and traced the light extrusions on her ceiling. Your thoughts soon drifted to Yoongi, as they seemed to do often these days. 

Was he really fair in rejecting your friendship? Joohee had made a good point earlier in that it certainly conflicted with his rule of ignoring each other outside of obligated functions. But…you didn’t want that. So why did you agree? In the moment, it hadn’t really felt like you’d had another choice. You seemed to be feeling like that a lot lately. 

Yoongi seemed serious about this marriage being for business only and you knew that you didn’t want that, but you couldn’t exactly tell him as such. You couldn’t be more sure that he would only be disgusted if he heard you say that and you didn’t think you’d be able to survive seeing that kind of emotion on his face when it’s directed towards you. 

Not that you’d be able to survive this marriage either. 

Your fingers toyed with the frayed hem of the sleep shorts you’d borrowed from Joohee, a frequent occurrence whenever you stayed over, and you saw her shift in her sleep. She really had been so supportive throughout this whole thing. 

Maybe you should go to her brother for help? No, Yoongi would probably hate that. 

You resisted the urge to kick your feet in frustration out of fear of waking up Joohee. This was so difficult, it was next to impossible to figure out what your next move should be. 

You had a nagging feeling that your mother wouldn’t force you to meet up with Yoongi anymore before the wedding, but why did that not feel like a clear-cut win? Did you want to meet with Yoongi again?

Rubbing at your eyes frantically, you pushed aside the flurry of questions stirring inside you. You didn’t have time to deal with this. There was a large project at work that was in its final stages that you needed your full attention on and then the final beta tests before the official launch, just weeks before your wedding. You couldn’t afford to spend another moment thinking about Yoongi. 

As you got more comfortable in Joohee’s bed, you turned your head to face the clock on her bedside table, reading 3:09 AM. 

A sigh escaped your lips as you forced your eyes closed to try and get some rest. 

You had an inkling that Yoongi would be occupying your thoughts whether you wanted it or not. 

“We’ll be meeting for the rehearsal dinner in one week, Yujin will send you the information and instructions. Don’t be late.”

Your mother’s voice cut off after that, not bothering to say goodbye before ending the call. You could feel your headache coming back and you fumbled for your water bottle before getting up to grab a red ginseng packet from the breakroom. Things had been a lot lately. 

The final preparations for the wedding were underway and your mother was leaving nothing to chance. Your dress had been fitted to perfection with your mother sending you a strict diet and workout plan to make sure you stayed the exact same size until the wedding. That email had been swiftly archived. 

You weren’t even sure of who was in your bridal party other than Joohee being your maid of honor. Not that it mattered. This wedding wasn’t for you anyway. 

As you slowly sucked out the paste from the ginseng packet, leaning against the break room counter, you wondered if Yoongi had had to go through similar procedures, though likely less extensive. You hadn’t heard from him since that dinner where he’d firmly placed a boundary between you, but he’d rarely left your mind since. You’d hoped that the reality check with Yoongi might help clear you of your feelings for him, but, instead, they only deepened your desire to get to know him better, to break past that boundary. But you knew that those ideas were merely fairy tales and this marriage was not going to be one by any means. 

Distantly, you wondered how the ceremony would go. The two of you hadn’t prepared any vows, nor were you expected to. This wedding was not a show of love and everyone knew that. Your parents weren’t concerned with making it appear as though you and Yoongi were a loving couple, no, this wedding was more of an excuse to show off their wealth and influence. Your nuptials were merely a byproduct. Still, would you have to kiss Yoongi?

You quickly shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the mental image, feeling your cheeks flush hot. Yet, you couldn’t get it out of your head. You imagined his lips would be soft and gentle, that he would lead you through the kiss and deepen it for more. His hands would come to rest at your waist before encircling it, pulling you closer, flush, to his body. 

No! You can’t imagine that, you’re not allowed!

Internally, you scoffed. What kind of girl wasn’t allowed to imagine kissing her fiance? You knew the truth, however, that it wasn’t your place to imagine yourself in that position. That was reserved for the person he loved, who was, decidedly, not you. 

Tossing the packet, you made your way back to your way back to your desk. Settling into the pillowed surface of your chair, you browsed through your emails before noticing one from the marketing team.

From: limheesungmarketing1@okgaming.com

RE: MIRA’S AWAKENING Influencer Advertising

Hello Team Leader Seo,

We have decided that we would like to reach out to online influencers and streamers to assist in promoting Project Mira’s Awakening. A list of possible candidates is attached, along with their profiles and viewer analytics. We would like your input on any public figures you believe may be good candidates for this endeavor. Please reach out if you and your team come up with any candidates that are not already included in the attached file.

Additionally, we would like to create merchandise to provide for these public figures and we need to confirm with you and Graphics Team 2 on graphics we can include on merchandise items. You will find a list of items we are looking to make, along with graphics suggestions, attached as well. Please coordinate with GT 2 to send over finalized ideas and start creating the images.

Thank you,

Team Leader Lim

You considered the contents, feeling the eraser of your pencil tap against your lip, who could you suggest? You had your favorite streamers, but none aligned that well with the nature of the game you were producing, which meant the viewer base wouldn’t have enough crossover with your target audience. Running through a list of the streamers you watched regularly in your head, you stopped at one in particular. 

Goldenboy97. 

Jeon Jeongguk was quite popular and played enough combat-based games to have sufficient audience crossover, while still being intriguing for the puzzle aspect of the game. Not that you were biased, but he was your favorite creator at the moment. You jotted down his handle and a note to ask the rest of your team about their thoughts. 

Leaning back in your chair, you stared blankly at the screen as the emails continued flooding in. Slowly, but surely, your thoughts drifted back to the phone call with your mother. The wedding was next week, with the rehearsal dinner only being seven days away. 

You felt a strange combination of dread and giddiness, a swirl of emotional turmoil you weren’t ready to unpack. Hoseok was coming back tonight and you were picking him up from the train station. You’d probably have time to process your emotions then. Hoseok was staying at your apartment in the guest bedroom for a couple of weeks so he could be there through the whole wedding process. He had also mentioned looking for an apartment to move into in Seoul, which made you excited. You really wanted to have the college dream team together again.

The thoughts of the actual wedding were stoking your nerves, you still hadn’t talked to Yoongi since the last time you’d met. You weren’t sure of the protocol or if you should try to talk to him beforehand, especially about the ceremony. Too cowardly to act on your anxiety, you shut off your opened messaging app on your phone. You weren’t keen on finding out how Yoongi would respond to an unprompted message. 

The sound of your team packing up alerted you to the time, being slightly past five. You joined them in getting ready to leave before heading to the elevator. The rest of the group trekked slightly ahead while Song Ha walked slightly slower to stay back with you. 

“So, the wedding is next week. Are you excited?”

You chuckled nervously, “Yeah, you could call it that.”

“Ah, are you nervous? Makes sense. Just think, though, soon, you’ll be married to the love of your life! How exciting!”

Your insides felt queasy. You hadn’t told Song Ha about the nature of your relationship with your betrothed because you weren’t exactly sure how to explain it to someone who wasn’t familiar, nor did you want to deal with the embarrassment, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Where are you going for your honeymoon?”

You bit your lip, “Nowhere, actually. We couldn’t get time off of work at the same time.” The honeymoon had long been decided as an unnecessary expense, and neither you nor Yoongi complained. Being stuck with him for weeks after the wedding in another country sounded like a nightmarish situation. You wouldn’t have minded a vacation though.

“Gosh, that sucks. Hopefully, you’ll be able to do something over the summer, maybe,” Song Ha pouted, swinging her work bag in line with her step. You smiled at her naivete.

“Yeah, hopefully.”

“Hobi!”

You ran towards the taller man, throwing your arms around his upper body, “I missed you! It feels so nice to have you back in Seoul.”

Feeling his chest rumble with a laugh, you squeezed him harder before releasing him. 

“Feels good to be back too,” he responded, a bright, heart-shaped smile adorning his face, “Let me get my bags to your car.”

“Oh, right, let me help,” you nodded, reaching for the bigger suitcase to roll towards your car. Hoseok easily picked up the duffel bag lying at his feet and followed behind you. You had opted for driving to the station since his train had come too late for the buses to still be running, and you didn’t want to have to deal with paying for or lugging his baggage into a cab. 

After loading the luggage into your trunk, you both settled into the front seats of your well-worn car. You heard Hoseok chuckle while clicking in his seatbelt, “This certainly feels different from the drunk bus and taxi rides back to the campus dorms. Even if it’s about the same level as luxury.”

You rolled your eyes, “Hey, my car is reliable. The previous owner only had it for a couple of years before selling it off and she’s been perfectly good since then. Though, my mom would probably agree with you on the luxury bit.”

“Yeah, well, who wants to listen to her opinion anyway. Before I forget, thanks again for letting me stay at your place while I’m here, I know it’ll probably be annoying with the wedding prep going on.”

“It’s no problem, seriously. Besides, a lot of my stuff’s been moved over to Yoongi’s for when I move after the wedding. I’m just keeping my apartment there in case I need it since I won’t be paying rent at Yoongi’s.” Keeping the lease on your apartment had been a conscious decision because you had figured you’d want a safe space away from the marriage drama and it wouldn’t be an extra hit to your income. What your mother and Yoongi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. 

“Has he really paid off his entire apartment? You’re marrying a proper chaebol,” Hoseok joked. 

You laughed lightly, a tinge of awkwardness at the idea that you really were, and you had no idea how he’d act in his own house. Tapping your fingers along the steering wheel, you tried to subtly change the topic, “Well, speaking of apartments, do you know where you’re going to be looking?”

Hoseok launched into a detailed plan he had for looking at rental properties in Seoul for both his apartment and the studio he wanted to open. You excitedly listened along, thrilled that he was planning on settling near you, as you drove to your own apartment. 

After you’d parked, Hoseok insisted on taking the large suitcase, claiming that only he was strong enough to lug it up the stairs. You only laughed a little bit at his sour expression when you showed him the perfectly working elevator. 

Punching in the code to your apartment, you swung open the door, making sure not to step food inside. A loud pop rang out and confetti sprayed out from the doorway.

“Surprise!”

Hoseok stumbled back, clutching at his chest and mouth agape at Joohee’s excited smile from inside the apartment, “Shit, Joohee, you scared me!”

You laughed loudly before grabbing his suitcase and rolling it inside, setting the duffel bag on top. Joohee began cleaning up the mess of confetti, Hoseok started to unpack what he’d need for the night, and you began unboxing the pizza that had arrived while Joohee was setting up. 

As the three of you settled into your living room, Hoseok already teasing Joohee, you felt like a void in your heart had been filled. The last few months had been so stressful and it hadn’t felt like you’d gotten a break emotionally in so long. The sounds of your friends chattering and laughing made you feel at ease. So, naturally, Hoseok had to ruin that.

“So, Y/N, how are you feeling about the rehearsal next week? Or the wedding, for that matter.”

You shifted in your position on the loveseat, feeling yourself frown, “Um, I don’t know. I don’t know what to expect. I can’t believe I’ll be married in just over a week.” Letting out a nervous laugh, you continued, “I haven’t talked to Yoongi in like six months. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You could feel yourself spiraling, but you had been holding in so many emotions that it felt like you couldn’t stop yourself from talking, “Honestly, I’m really scared. I don’t want this to be my life forever. I’m not ready, I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

Joohee got up from her spot on the couch to hug you, Hoseok joining soon after. Something about their touch comforting you pushed you over the edge, the dam broke, and tears began streaming down your cheeks. You sniffled pathetically, hating the level of vulnerability you were currently displaying. You hadn’t cried throughout this whole experience, but in the comforting presence of your closest friends, you couldn’t help it. 

“I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to marry him if it’s going to be like this. Why does my life have to be this way? Why can’t I be normal?”

Joohee and Hoseok only squeezed you in response, not having an answer to your questions. Your tears continued on until you couldn’t cry anymore and Joohee finally released you. She stood and smiled kindly at you, “Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Water, please,” you said raspily, throat dry from all the crying. Joohee nodded before heading to the kitchen, leaving you with Hoseok who had shoved himself into the loveseat to further comfort you. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, slightly muffled by burying your face in Hoseok’s soft, cotton shirt. 

“You know you can always talk to us. I wish I could change this for you, that you didn’t have to do this,” he said softly, stroking your hair. 

“It is what it is,” you said, feeling much more mellow now that you’d cried out all your overwhelming emotions. 

“Still,” Hoseok insisted, “He has no reason to be such a jerk.” You shrugged, you felt the same but there wasn’t much you could do to change that. 

Joohee returned with a cup of water which you gratefully took and sipped. Suddenly feeling quite exhausted, and a headache coming on, you tapped Hoseok to get off of you, to which he complied and clambered off the loveseat.

“Sorry guys, I’m just so exhausted now. I really appreciate you being here, but I think I’m going to head to bed,” you stated, hugging both of them, before starting to gather the trash to clean up. 

Joohee laid a hand on your shoulder to stop you, “Go, get some rest. We’ll clean up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Hoseok exclaimed, and pushed you towards your bedroom, “Go to bed!”

Laughing, you acquiesced and headed into your bedroom to get ready to sleep. As you went through your nightly routine, you felt yourself feeling a bit calmer about the upcoming week. You had your two closest friends by your side. 

You were ready to handle anything that Yoongi threw at you.

Probably.

Yoongi lightly swirled the glass of whiskey between his fingers as he sat at his desk in his brown leather chair. By this time next week, he would be getting married. 

His eyes drifted towards the manila folder lying at the edge of his desk, a small water stain on the corner. Inside were the files on his soon-to-be wife, Seo Y/N. He took a sip of his whiskey, the smoky flavour traveling down his throat, as he considered his fiancee. 

He didn’t know what to make of her. She just seemed so meek and obedient, which wasn’t at all appealing. He didn’t remember much of her from before the arrangement, aside from vague interactions between them and the Kim siblings. She had seemed quite timid then too. 

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, setting his glass on his desk. He didn’t want to do this marriage. It was a chore, really. 

Yoongi didn’t necessarily have anyone he was looking to marry, but having to pretend to be exclusive with some girl he didn’t care about wasn’t conducive to the bachelor lifestyle he’d cultivated. He’d set his ground rules, and she’d agreed, pretty easily, another thing that irked Yoongi. 

Couldn’t she stand up for herself? Or say anything at all that was her own opinion?

Yoongi drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, he supposed she had said something that night. She’d wanted to be friends. He hadn’t been expecting that.

He figured it might be some condition about how she didn’t want to work or for him to stop seeing other people, but, instead, she’d simply asked for his friendship. And he’d refused. 

Of course he did, it went against his other rule. He wanted to keep his life separate from this artificial marriage and that included remaining nothing but acquaintances. He’d have to be steadfast, he decided. That night, when he’d seen your imploring expression with hope shining in your eyes, he’d almost agreed. He wasn’t sure why that was, or if he even wanted to know, but he couldn’t let it happen again. 

Despite your docile and unassuming nature, you were dangerous. And you didn’t seem to know it, which made you all the more so.

previous / masterlist / next 

[doinggreat]

tw: rant

i don't think i will ever get used to the behaviour of some fans. i don't think everyone who calls themselves a barcelona fan is a culer. I think that is the biggest difference. barcelona fans just enjoy winning together, but when the team loses, they ignore 'en las buenas y en las malas'.

fine, i admit that araujo's mistake was stupid and unnecessary. imo ter stegen would have dealt with barcola. and even if he had scored, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. we had a two-goal advantage at the time. even if we had conceded, we would still have had the advantage. but to say that the whole game collapsed because of Araujo…? it's insane. because that is not the case, we really could still have handled PSG without him. i don't understand and i will never understand how you can go from "best cb in the world" and begging him to stay at barcelona to "sell him", " he cost us the ucl" in 5 seconds. nevertheless, he is our captain. how can we forget all the moments in which he saved us? ONE MISTAKE SHOULD NOT CAUSE SUCH EMOTIONS IF YOU ARE A CULER. now, more than ever, we need to support araujo. we have certainly seen players who break down psychologically after such instants.

generally, i've seen so many rubbish comments on twitter. according to some 'fans', we should sell the whole team, xavi should leave barcelona right here and now. it seems that even an hour before the match, everyone was praising our team and our players, how good they are. i have seen endless comments on ter stegen's performance. imo, we have one of the best goalkeepers of our time. you have to remember that when araujo was sent off ter stegen had the biggest responsibility and he was the most vulnerable. in the end his efforts were most reflected in the last PSG goal. he fought till the last minute. next, "let's sell kounde and leave cancelo behind". kounde took a long time to recover from the injury he suffered in fall BUT now that he's back to his old form i would dare to say that we would not be able to find a better RB than him; one match after the other he's always consistent and gives his all. cancelo certainly made a lot of mistakes yesterday, most memorably the one with dembele which led to a penalty. but again, he's a very versatile player: rb, lb and can even play in the midfield. that's the kind of player we need at barcelona. although even I admit that i was pessimistic about him at the beginning of the season, i think that over time he has convinced us that we MUST keep him in our team. for the midfield, the most hate i've seen was for fdj. definitely not his best performance, he was kinda slow. but he is consistent despite this game. we can trust him and he fits in our midfield. i don't even want to talk about our youngsters, who are getting different opinions every week and who are constantly being blamed for everything. i want to remind some of them that most of them are not even adults. they do not have the experience that, let's say, araujo, lewa or gundo have. but not to see that they are our BRIGHT future is simply incomprehensible to me. cubarsi, yamal - impressive performances yesterday (especially yamal who created the goal but was unfortunately subbed off). at the same time (let's pretend that they were bad), they must make mistakes. how can they be expected to gain experience if they don't make any mistakes? with this kind of feedback from supposed 'fans' we should bench them and not even take any children from la masia, because such comments are emotionally devastating for them (i repeat they are 16, 17, 18..). And finally xavi… he dragged us out of the dark days. he won la liga and cdr last season. he keeps us going this season. we've had a tough season, lots of injuries, lots of losses, but we're still SECOND in the league, we played in the ucl quarterfinals after so many years. that's thanks to the players who love this club and a manager who would give EVERYTHING for this club. maybe he makes some questionable choices sometimes, but to think we have a better choice than him is just crazy. i trusted, i trust and i will trust xavi until the end. history is repeating itself again and again and it is barcelona 'fans' and the Spanish media who are to blame.

my point is that some 'fans' should go outside and touch grass, maybe then they will realise that their FIFA tactics are not based on reality. life happens, bad matches happen, bad luck is also real.

[rubywolf0201]

I don’t know what made me draw myself to Matakara ever since BUCCHIGIRI?! was first revealed last year in May in the teaser other than cute sunshine puppy boi.

But after watching many episodes esp the last one yesterday, I come to the conclusion that a lot of his recent actions, be it shown onscreen or subtle, reminded me of Princess Elise from Sonic 06 (yes that one game that drove the franchise to ruin but that’s not what we are talking about)

I mean 16-17 year old teenage redheads who may appear mature at first glance but deep down, they’re not as mature as you think they are. Elise’s case is that she was forced to rule Soleanna at a very young age and while she is put together, she is also emotionally vulnerable such as when she had repeated visions of the bloodthirsty demon sealed within her kept showing her visions of Soleanna burned to the ground.

Matakara is of the same vein as well.

For a long time since visiting the Honki temple for the first time with his brother, Matakara has always sensed the dark shadows watching over him, which made him afraid. Mitsukuni said that the dark shadows appear because of how it sensed the weakness within people’s hearts. And well it is true in some sense in that despite being a pretty good fighter, Matakara is emotionally immature, possibly even stunted.

Right after his childhood best friend abandoned him to a group of older kids bullying them, Matakara believed himself to be weak and kept clinging on to the idealized version of Arajin, which the latter never asked for nor did he lied about. Even after showing off his true colors even back in earlier episodes, Matakara kept believing in him and it wasn’t until Episode 8 that Arajin confessed to him that he is not the cool and strong person Matakara believed him to be.

This shatters Matakara’s worldview because right after his brother was taken from him to be placed in juvie for maybe 2-3 years, Matakara tried to build himself up and kept on believing that he has to do it for both Mitsukuni and Arajin’s sake. So to hear from Arajin about how the latter isn’t the strong and cool person that Matakara thinks he is, it proved to be devastating for Matakara.

The way how both handled the inner demons within them (or Ichiya in the case of Matakara)

Princess Elise has been shown initially that whenever her emotions are about to go out of control, she is either shown to clasp her hands together to make sure she doesn’t cry lest she releases Iblis or just hug someone out of instinct.

But over time, she stopped doing so to symbolize how her bond with Sonic has made Elise to handle her emotions better in a way that can confide it to the person closest to her. The only time it got out of hand is when the villain killed Sonic out of a sneak attack, that was when Elise started crying, which released Iblis.

Matakara is more of a 50/50. He has inner demons in the shadow that keeps appearing out of nowhere and how he is the only one to sense it. Those dark and creepy shadows tend to appear whenever Matakara is down on himself or if there is a weakness. But when he got into Minato Kai through pure hard work and the friends that he have made in Zabu and Komao. And that is when the shadows had stopped appearing for the time being, tho they did not disappear completely.

However, I want to point out that unlike Elise who managed to keep her shit together despite not having any form of support group except for her servants, maids, possibly her tutors and ministers, she turned out for the better.

Matakara once he got Ichiya due to Akutaro’s manipulations (well maybe it could be Ichiya who knows really), Ichiya does whatever he can to break Matakara’s will and pointing out how things like friendship and kindness are nothing but weakness. The last straw was when Ichiya brought up on how weak willed Mitsukuni is and that is when Matakara succumbed to the anger and hatred that Ichiya has set up, making the blue majinn to take over him completely.

Anyways TLDR; Princess Elise and Matakara are one and the same IMO, with the only differences on how they handle themselves and their emotional maturity.

[zoeykallus]

Hi Zoey!! Hope you're doing well!! You deserve all the love!!

This is my 2nd request ever, and you handled my 1st request beautifully, so i thought that perhaps i would request again?

Recently, i was randomly hard-blocked on Tumblr by a (now former) mutual.. and also got randomly cut off by some friends irl too ...

To this day i have not the faintest idea what i did wrong and don't even have the capacity to ask any of them.. it makes me incredibly sad/disheartened to loose them, especially since i don't know/understand if/what i did anything wrong..

As far as i've been aware i never violated anyone's guidelines/boundaries.. it makes me physically and mentally ill to think that i could have somehow done something so terrible accidentally/unknowingly and gotten cut off for it.. 😥💔

Despite getting some support and lovin' about it, I've been crying about it so much and don't know how to deal with it still 😓💔

What are your thoughts on how the TBB, (and possibly Wolffe, Rex, and/or Cody if it isn't too much), would react/deal with/comfort (preferably fem!) Reader on randomly loosing friends and getting very sad over it?

I'm sorry for all the angst here!! Also, i know you already wrote something kind of similar (had to do with TBB helping the reader lose a toxic friend), so if this is too much, repetitive, or uncomfortable for you, i totally understand not doing the request!!

Take care and thank you so much for all that you do!! Your love and support and kindness knows no bounds!! 🫶🏼💕🩷

Aloha, hun!

I'm really sorry to read that. It's hard to lose friends, especially when you don't really know why or what's going on. The only way to find out would be asking them about it. But you mentioned you don't feel up to ask them yourself. Maybe you have someone, a friend, who'd be willing to do that for you? Sometimes you can't change peoples minds, and you don't have to. Real friends don't just leave you behind without telling you what bothered them. Real friends communicate and try to fix things and don't just leave or ignore. Hold on to the real ones and let the ones who want to go just go. I know it feels devastating, but you don't need people like this in your life. If they just show you the cold shoulder without voicing what's the deal, they are not willing to really make an effort for this friendship, so why should you run after them? Invest your energy in your real friends.

And friends who need some time to themselves for personal reasons usually at least tell you that they need to retreat for a while, at least in my experience (I do that sometimes when I need to charge up my mental batteries). Cutting someone off without at least addressing them once about the reason is Kindergarten or headless teenager behavior at best. People who really care/cared, don't just vanish out of your life quietly.

That's probably not making you feel much better, but what I'm trying to say is, that you should focus on yourself a bit more and those who deserve your friendship. Don't cry over undeserving idiots. Easier said than done, I know. It'll take time, like everything emotionally heavy does, but you'll feel better at some point when you manage to sort out your priorities. And Drama queens who cut you off on purpose, to make you run after them, are even worse. Those are energy vampires, don't play that game with them, you will always be at the exhausted, losing end.

But, I'm still here, not exactly a close friend, but a mutual I guess. I hear you and even though I can't do much for you right now, I can send you a hug and write something for you 🤗

I picked this request out of my list to do before the others, because I felt this was a little more... urgent, at the moment.

The Bad Batch/Wolffe/Rex x F!Reader HCs - True Friends

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

___________________

Losing friends is never easy. You struggle with being left behind by some of them. How do the clones react?

___________________

Hunter

He is organizing and sorting a few things for the next mission when he talks to you and asks what is bothering you. Your revelation makes him wonder.

"And they didn't say anything? Didn't say why?

You shake your head sadly.

Hunter puts down the datapad on which he's just checked an inventory list and turns to face you fully.

"Then they're not friends either"

You frown and look at him questioningly.

Gently but firmly, he says, "Friends don't just turn their backs on you without comment. Someone who doesn't even expend enough energy to tell you what might be bothering them didn't really care much about this friendship or you in the first place."

You wrap your arms around your body, really not feeling much better now.

Hunter comes closer and takes off a glove and gently strokes your cheek.

"I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't have to chase after these people. Focus on your real friends, the ones you can always count on. Me, for example," he says with a smile, "Or my brothers. We would never abandon you".

"It just bugs me that I don't know what's going on," you say dejectedly, leaning your head against his chest.

Hunter puts an arm around your shoulders and continues to stroke your cheek with one hand.

"I know, that would keep me busy too. But all I can tell you is focus on other things, other, real friends, important things in your life. If you want I can ask them if you tell me who it is, but I can guarantee you, no matter how it turns out, friends like that will always let you down, again and again"

You sigh wistfully.

"You are a great person, a great friend and partner, don't worry, there will always be someone who appreciates that, one way or another"

Echo

He looks at you worriedly, a depressed expression on his face. Echo can't quite understand why anyone would act this way toward you.

"Maybe they just need some time to themselves?" he asks cautiously.

"All three of them?" you say doubtfully.

Echo sits down next to you in the grass in the shade where the found you and moves a little closer.

He says thoughtfully, "Real friends talk to each other, they say what's going on and don't just take off. Maybe they weren't as good friends as you thought."

"Maybe," you say quietly.

Echo puts an arm around you, and you automatically lean against him, seeking warmth and comfort from his body.

"You're never all alone, Mesh'la. I'm here, my brothers are here, and Omega adores you. You have a family here with us that you can always count on, at all times."

You smile. The loss of your friends hurts, especially that you don't know why. But the thought and feeling of having Echo by your side gives you a sense of security, the impression that everything is actually okay.

"I love you, Echo, what would I do without you?"

Echo gently hugs you and says, "Don't worry about that, you won't get rid of me that easily".

Wrecker

He looks at you in confusion.

"Why would they do that? Friends don't do that"

With a helpless sigh, you look up at your gentle giant.

"Maybe I've upset them?"

Wrecker frowns critically, takes your hand and pulls you with him to the open ramp where he sits down on it and pulls you onto his lap.

Gently putting both arms around you, he says, "Even if that were true, which I kind of can't imagine, then you bring up something like that. Problems that you ignore or eat into yourself only become bigger and bigger problems. If they're really upset about you, then they need to tell you, have a conversation. To just ignore you or shut you out is pretty childish."

You lean against him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"It just feels so weird, so heavy and devastating".

Wrecker strokes your back and pulls his arms, gently, a little tighter around you.

"Don't be sad Cyar'ika, you still have us after all, and that won't change. I love you"

"You are so sweet, Wrecker" you say softly with a small smile.

He chuckles, "I know, I'm great, aren't I?"

"Indeed," you say with a soft laugh, "I love you too."

Tech

He listened to you carefully. When you finish your sentence, Tech puts the datapad aside and looks at you thoughtfully.

"Why would a friend turn his back on you without justification?"

You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

"That's just what's bothering me. Did I upset them, perhaps?"

"Come here, my love," Tech taps the seat next to him invitingly for you to join him before he says, "Well, I think that's unlikely, but it's still possible. However, it still wouldn't justify a lack of explanation about the situation."

You look at him for help.

"What would you do, Tech?"

He blinks, then says, "You know me, I wouldn't dwell on it for long. Even if I had negative feelings about it, I would go on my way and do what needs to be done."

"But what if it was Hunter and Wrecker?"

Tech sighs, "Well, we had something similar with Crosshair, however he gave us some sort of explanation. I don't know, honestly, I don't think there could be a fault line between us that isn't addressed. Especially Hunter would be looking for a dialogue to clear things up, and Wrecker probably would too."

He looks at you, trying to read your face.

After a pause, he says, "Well, in my estimation, these friends aren't worth your concern or friendship. If they don't feel the need to communicate with you about any problems that may exist, then they are obviously not willing to put any particular effort into this relationship. So my conclusion would be, if you are not worth their effort, then you should do the same the other way around and save your energy for more important things and people that are worth yours. Time for new priorities. If it helps you, I could work out a plan with you to help you redirect your energies and reorganize. It may be a good therapeutic distraction."

You smile at him.

"My beloved genius, I would greatly appreciate your help, yes."

Crosshair

He frowns.

"Well, I guess they're idiots," he says dryly, "You know I don't like most of your friends anyway."

Crosshair doesn't like to share your attention, that's the main reason. He tolerates your friends for your sake, but he'd much rather have you to himself. However, he would never go so far as to try to separate you from your friends.

When he sees the sad look on your face, he says, "If they just cut all the lines without telling you why, then they weren't friends either. You don't turn your back on a friend for no reason, and even if there is a reason, at least you talk about it, and then you decide whether to go your separate ways."

"Is that so?" asks Echo dryly from the background.

"Quiet back there," Crosshair grumbles, "You knew why we parted ways, I never made a secret of why I left."

"True."

Crosshair looks at you again and says, "People who really care about you don't turn their backs on you without comment, no matter how much your opinions may differ. What happens after a clarifying conversation is another story"

"Sometimes an ugly one," Echo mutters.

Crosshair snorts, "Would you please stay out of this".

You look from one to the other, finally looking up at Crosshair and asking, "What do you think I should do?"

"Keep going. Don't run after them, focus on yourself and the people who are really there for you," he lifts your chin slightly with his long fingers, "Like me for example."

Wolffe

He puts down the box he just took off his speeder, takes off his helmet and tucks it under his arm. He looks at you with a furrowed brow.

"Well, I guess they're not really friends, then."

"What do you mean?"

Wolffe looks at you urgently, "Someone who really cares doesn't turn their back on you without comment. Simple as that."

You wrap your arms around your body.

"I guess they don't care about me then."

Wolffe sighs, lifting your chin with his fingers and seeking eye contact.

"I care about you, a lot. I'm certainly not the only one"

You look up at him, swallowing and blinking back tears.

"It's just so scary. It feels like at some point everyone could suddenly be gone and then I'm alone"

Wolffe puts his helmet on the speeder, then puts both hands on your shoulder left and right.

"Cyare, you're not alone, you won't be alone. It may feel scary and defeating now, but you'll get over it. You will see and learn in time who your real friends are, what really matters and what your priorities should be"

"You won't abandon me, right?"

Wolffe gently kisses your forehead and says, "Never."

Rex

Rex looks at you in surprise. He expected everything possible, but not really.

"Do I know these friends?"

"No not really"

He shrugs and says, "Well, I don't really know what to tell you. In my experience, friendships are never one sided, at least they shouldn't be. You invest quite a lot of energy in these contacts and suddenly nothing comes back? Mesh'la, it sounds like you were used and… well, don't need you anymore. That doesn't have much to do with friendship, though."

Startled, you sit down on a bench nearby. Rex follows you. He looks at you meekly and says, "Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that."

You sigh softly and say, "Maybe. But maybe I needed to hear it."

Rex shrugs and says quietly, "Maybe I'm wrong too, Mesh'la, but you should focus on yourself for now and be careful in case they contact you again. You can't let them hurt you."

He sits down next to you and says with a gentle smile, "In any case, you have me, I won't let you down."

His hand clasps yours with gentle pressure.

When you look up at his face, he gives you an encouraging look with that mischievous, yet soft and warm smile of his.

"I got you, Mesh'la, always"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

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[lizzyaka]

HAIII ITS ME THE ANON!! im ngl i genuinely gasped when i read your rentry and saw tsh and yttd in the same line like those two are such mismatched interests i never expected to see anyone else like them both 😭😭😭

I GET YOUR ATTACHMENT TO SHIN BRO. Also based on your yttd faves i have a feeling you went thru all the stages of grief with the bio-siblings revelation…… idk just a feeling hehe. NO BUT YTTD MAKING IT SO ONLY ONE SIBLING GETS TO LIVE WAS SO??!???? i never emotionally recovered from that . regarding my yttd fav i’d say its shin but it has been so long since i played the game i barely know his character anymore ;;;;; lowkey i also fw almost all the floor masters. midori/sou was my bunny corcoran back in the day (in the sense that theyre both problematic-ish characters that the fandom hates but i enjoy their character guiltily)

and for my tsh faves oooh boy… as u can see by my username… richard and bunny are so deeply personal to me . theyre not favorites in the “i love them ❤️ my scrunklies” way but in the “I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM” way. like i am fully aware they are horrible people but as characters??? Theyre written so well to the point i cant help but think about them every second daily

beware of the shin tsukimi to richard papen pipeline!!!! this may be reaching and i fear im mischaracterizing shin (you are free to correct me on this. let out the inner shin fan out) but if you squint real hard….. theyre both liars who pretend to be someone theyre not and theyre also both pathetic losers (i say this very affectionately) who are just trying to survive (what is richard even surviving from. he is nawt in a majority vote death game)

i have yapped too much i apologize </3 i appreciate you defending bunny from the allegations actually we need more bunny defenders in the fandom (and less francis fans.. cough) . i dont have any specific questions about yttd bc my memory of that game has gotten foggy sadly but we could always talk about yttd to jog up my memory of it !!!

NAURRR DONT BRING UP 2-2 im gonna be honest w u i have played yttd a total of 7 times (this is so embarrassing i want to crawl into a hole and never come out) and 2-2 has never once failed to devastate i cannot express just how badly it affected me. last time i played was over a year and a half ago im trying to forget as much about it as i can so i can replay the whole thing w fresh eyes when 3-2 comes out but i doubt thats gonna be possible since i fear the only person in the world who knows yttd better than me is nankidai himself. I promise ur jaw would have dropped to the floor if u had met me 1-3 years earlier i cant stress how bad the obsession was, theres a couple of people who follow me here who knew me then who can testify😭 it was actually bonkers i ate slept and breathed yttd

I CANT STAND THE FLOORMASTERS BROO i heavily fw rio ranger and safalin BUT THE REST? BOOOO midori actually makes me sooo fucking violent sorry hes by far my least favorite😭 i can see why u like him trustt i just have a vendetta against him

AND I KNOW WHAT U MEAN ESP W BUNNY bro won me over im not sorry. Yes hes awful yes he would borderline hate crime me but i stand with bunny what can i say

[runabout-river]

"It all comes back to Toji doesn't it?

His abandonment of Megumi ruined his kid's perception of his own self to the point he can only reaffirm his identity through another.

In an ironic twist of fate, Toji's efforts to ensure his son does not turn out like him, ended up cursing Megumi to suffer the same fate."

Do you agree with the above?

Definitely with the first paragraph.

The entire story of the manga, Megumi was obsessed with saving his sister. Everything was about her before Yuji pushed himself into Megumi's life as well. In the Culling Games, Megumi willfully killed another person for the first time for her sake as well.

When it turned out that Tsumiki wasn't actually a new sorcrerer but the host of a incarnated one, he was so distressed that Sukuna managed to take over his body and then her death at his technique was so devastating that he has now given up on life.

Megumi cannot live for himself. "His abandonment of Megumi ruined his kid's perception of his own self to the point he can only reaffirm his identity through another." That sentence perfectly describes the mental landscape that Megumi is in and how Toji helped to foster that.

To get out of his current misery, Megumi will need to accept Tsumiki's death and the role he played and didn't play in that and Megumi needs to start to live for himself and not on the coattails of someone else.

The second paragraph I don't agree with (though it's a bit of semantic argument)

Toji didn't abandon Megumi to sell him to the Zenin so he could turn out better than him. Toji had already abandoned Megumi and then he decided to give him to people where he could use his talents, things that Toji never had (in his opinion).

Toji didn't care how Megumi turned out; he had no desire to make Megumi into something he himself wasn't. In his mind, Megumi was already someone better him. The reasons why Toji sold Megumi to the Zenin were shallow and stemmed mainly from the fact that he emotionally stopped caring for him.

He gave Megumi to the Zenin specifically out of a selfish want to see (not even to see but just to know) him doing better in the clan than he ever did. If Megumi would be happy or miserable there he didn't care at all.

The ironic twist of fate here is actually how Megumi's selling into the Zenin clan ended up being the thing that brought Megumi and Gojo together. Toji wouldn't have had any reason to tell Gojo about his son if the deal with Naobito hadn't existed and with Gojo never meeting Megumi, he wouldn't have started his career as a teacher the way he did; Gojo himself would've been a different person without Megumi that early in his life and that right after Geto defected.

So one of Toji's shitty actions as a father (abandoning his son) fascilitated Megumi's low self-esteem; and the other shitty action (selling him to the Zenin) prompted Gojo to take care of Megumi. The last one only happened though because Toji used his last breath to tell Gojo about his son.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Story ask game for Lawrence of Arabia, if you please, with a 4, 14, and 21 (for that, assume the "author" is David Lean).

Lawrence! Lawrence! Lawrence!

4: assign the story a hyper-specific genre name

Epic historical wartime adventure biopic tragedy. With camels.

14: how likely do you think the story is to break the reader's heart?

I think it's very much a matter of personal buy-in. If you're the sort of person willing to invest emotionally in four-hour epics from the 60s, then it 100% will break your heart. This movie is devastating. I can quote chapter and verse of all the lines and scenes and moments that wreck me, if you want, but really what it comes down to is Lawrence in the empty Arab Council saying "And that would have been something." Ahhhhhhh. It's a story about reaching and failing to grasp, and those are always the most effective tragedies imo.

21: based on this story, would you be interested enough in the author to read their other work?

I would love to watch every David Lean movie over the course of my life. I've already made a pretty big dent in it! Doctor Zhivago is my next favorite after Lawrence, being a better literary adaptation than 99.9% of amazing novels get. Zhivago is such a literary favorite of mine, and it should be high praise that I love Lean's movie almost as much as I love Pasternak's bittersweet beautiful heartbreak of a novel. Ask me about the book sometime, if you're interested.

I also recently watched Brief Encounter for the first time, which I just loved to pieces. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. The best tragedy of timing that I've experienced in a long time. Will definitely be revisiting in the future.

I will admit, I giggled my way through Bridge Over the River Kwai. It was an excellent movie, but I think the whole "we are BRITISH we are going to build THE GREATEST BRIDGE EVER" thing, which is supposed to be a sign of a semi-broken mind, was just too funny for me to move past in favor of the serious tragedy. Having already seen Tom Hank's The Volunteers, which parodies Bridge Over the River Kwai, didn't really help either.

I will probably give A Passage to India a try next. That's also an adaptation of a novel I thoroughly enjoyed, albeit not in the way I love Zhivago. I'm sure I'll get to his Dickens stuff eventually too, although those will be a harder sell for me. It's a shame he never directed A Tale of Two Cities. I know he's got a bunch of other, lesser known movies too, and I will definitely get to those eventually as well.

So, in short, a resounding yes to the question. I'm not, like, a film person in the way that many people are, but I think I can say with some confidence that Lean is my favorite auteur-director.

[illocopon]

Tw: suicide mention, mental health, toxic relationships

Ok I get it, the first season was all fun and games and silly little gay pirates, so it's obvious and easy to point Izzy out as the antagonist -ahem, the English and Spanish navy, ahem-. So yeah, we have this little and agry fella, trying to bring our lovers appart, trying to boss around The Revenge as if he's the Captain and being mean to everyone around. Of course we thought he's the bad guy. But have we stopped and cared about what are Izzy's drives? HAVE WE??

Izzy Hands is Blackbeard's first mate. Not Ed's, as he says later on. The good functioning of the ship and the relationships between his Captain and the crew is his duty. And all of a sudden, his Captain turns mad and in love with someone who is weak and has nothing to do with piracy. Izzy is absolutely stressed, like a stray cat taking a bath for the first time. The time Ed and Stede spend together is lost time: not pillaging well enough, not hiding properly from the Army... So he blames it all on Stede, ignoring completely his boss' state of mind. Izzy's job is to make everything work and it's just not happening anytime soon. He's so desperate that he even takes a deal with the English army. He even forgives Ed when he punches him in the face, because he's convinced he deserved it. What else could he do?

*S2 spoilers ahead*

And in the second season, Izzy has regained power as first mate. But he's utterly destroyed, both physically and emotionally. He has sacrificed his integrity for this ship, and it's not paying back. Ed treats him like a dog and the crew is so profoundly mentally devastated that he cannot make it work anymore. And again, in desperation, Izzy keeps searching for solutions. It's his job, at the end of the day. He's too emotionally attached that he needs to stay, to make it work again like it used to. He's once again against the wall, he even asks to talk it through. Anything is working, so even Stede's ways were given a try. And this gets him shot in the leg, leading to losing it in a 50-50% chance to die.

So dying is the last frontier. He's not sacrificing his life to a suicidal boss that doesn't care who goes down with him. He almost gives up, but luckily he fails his shot. When the storm comes, he gets his revenge on all the damage that he has taken over the months, over the years; and yet again he's doing his job: he's protecting the crew from what's now the enemy, their current Captain.

When Izzy sees Stede again, he asks him to insult him, to unburden all his hate on him -but that's Izzy's coping mechanism, not Stede's-, he needs punishment, for he hasn't been able to complete his duty and to save Blackbeard from insanity to it's last consecuences. All he gets back is just nothing, and it hurts more than anything because he's left alone with guilt. No bad words, not even a side eye. He's broken and ignored.

Later on, when Stede's crew escape, they take Izzy with them -he would probably be killed or used to track them back- and he tries, for the first time, to thank Stede. Ignored again. He's not worth a thought. So he first falls in booze and then progressively into absolute madness, guiltyness and grieve.

He's not been loved once. Not even when he gave all his life to the one he loved. It was never returned back and now he's disabled for life, alone and aboard a ship where everyone hates him -or so he thinks.

I was so happy to see that the crew ended up understanding his pain and situation, taking care of him and making him a new leg all together. So fuck yeah. FOR THE NEW UNICORN. For the new and crafty Izzy, for the new and sensitive man how's yet to come to terms with some things. To Izzy Hands.

So what I really want to say is: stop hating Izzy. He's been through a lot of shit, has done questionable things to maintain his crew safe and he's a baby girl and I'm too emotional to end this with something that makes sense.

[sebastianswallows]

I think just about all of the Sebastian/MC fics I've read hand-waved a cure for Anne to some degree or another, so how do you think Sebastian would react if Anne's curse did actually kill her? Would it make a difference if it happened soon after the events of the game or like a decade later? And how would Ominis take it?

I think, judging by what we know about Seb, he would be devastated (he's pretty emotional as it is, and very attached to his sister), but he wouldn't lose himself over it (he's pragmatic when he needs to be, and a survivor). So it would likely plunge him into a good 6 months to a year of depression, from which he would emerge gradually, but he'd never really get over the loss of her. He would probably have a lot of mementos saved, but might avoid them to not become an emotional wreck again. He'd also keep her belongings and their house just as it was. If it happened shortly after the events of the game, he'd likely fail in his studies and wouldn't care about performing well in his exams, if at all.

It would also cement his hatred of goblins and anything associated with Rookwood (even if he found out goblins didn't curse her, they were involved with the whole thing and aided Rookwood, so he'd hold them all responsible).

There's also the cultural aspect to consider, as the Victorians were obsessive about death and it was a highly ritualised event for them. They had mourning manuals on the proper way of mourning, the duration, how to behave during each phase of mourning, etc.

As for Ominis, I think in a way he'd take it even harder than Sebastian, because although he loved Anne too, he had less time with her, so he'd be full of his own regrets, but in a different way. He'd probably also regret not getting involved more with finding a cure for her (a lot of 'what ifs' going through his head), which might make him a bit cynical and flirt with the idea of giving the dark arts a second chance, before reminding himself that it's the dark arts that killed her, and he'd ping-pong between those thoughts for a time. He'd be less demonstrative about it than Sebastian though, because he would socially have less of a right to (no matter how he felt about her privately).

I also get the feeling her death would sort of spoil their friendship for a while, because being around each other would remind them of Anne not being there. But after a while, they would depend more on their friendship than ever before.

If her death came 10 years after, it depends on how Seb would've grown up during that time. If he spent his life dedicated to caring for her, it would be the crushing realisation of inevitability. He'd be drained, hopeless, and feel like he'd have to pick up his life from scratch.

If, however, Anne had kept her distance all that while, he'd probably despair even more for all the time together that they didn't have (and he wouldn't be sure whether to blame Solomon, or himself, or Anne for that). Also, as Anne would've been in contact with Ominis all this while, Ominis would've had time to emotionally prepare for it, and Seb would be filled with jealousy and resentment and a feeling of unfairness. I think that would be the worst scenario of the lot, honestly.

Oh my, thank you for this depressing ask, anon 😂 It isn't something I expected to have so many ideas about, but it gave me a lot to think about! 💚

[twogeeseinatrenchcoat]

Spiritfarer Rant (It's Long)

Yeah. It's what the title says. I've been playing Spiritfarer a lot more recently, just wanted to share some shit my brain thought of. As a reminder, this is random shit I think of as I'm writing it and essentially rambling. Take all of my game analysis with a grain of salt. That said, play the game and be absolutely destroyed emotionally by the frog uncle.

(Putting the tldr here so people don't have to scroll)

Tldr: Spiritfarer is an excellent game that you should absolutely play. It pays attention to detail, has amazing characters and storylines, and is never boring for more than a few minutes (in my experience).

Holy shit this game is good. If you haven't played it yet (and don't mind getting absolutely destroyed emotionally by a cozy game) absolutely recommend. Absolutely. Play it. And face the consequences dear god this game is sad.

And that's coming from a person who is just so emotionally detached to media. I cannot remember the last time I cried over a book. (it was years ago, I remember exactly, I'm just a liar. Long story short, Xan from She Who Drank the Moon) The only spirits I cried over were Gwen and Stanley. (I think I cried over Stanley? Not sure.) But if the standard of the game is "I only cried twice playing this," you know that's sad. And honestly, It's kinda expected, what else can you really expect with a game about ferring spirits to their death while simultaneously being their therapist and friend?

But it's done so well. So well. I think this concept is so hard to pull off, and to pull it off to the degree that Spiritfarer does is insane. The attention to detail, the meticulous story-crafting, the way they made sure that every single character gets a backstory---even Stella's (the player) backstory is played out so well.

MINOR SPOILERS

Like, who came up with the genius idea of her sister coming on board and them traveling around and going through a photo album of Stella's life? Give that person a raise. And the way that the backstory isn't even revealed until relatively late in the game? I loved that. It's not thrown in your face, it plays out at your pace, and the whole shit with the owl and Lily and just ahhhh I loved it! Play the game.

SPOILERS OVER

Also, the way the game is interesting even when you aren't actively doing anything? There's almost always something to do. If there isn't, they give you something to do. You can always redo your boat design to eliminate those gaps again. You can always build more farms, you can always fish more, you can always do more.

And yes, it could get repetitive after a while, but they have quests! They have so many different and unique storylines for each spirit! And there's unique houses and flowers and likes and dislikes and preferences and personalities and gifts and emotions and moods and they even have different fucking hug animations! It's not just "oh there are people on the boat but they're just kinda there." NO. They are present at all times!

You'll be flying by and see someone call out to you. You'll be on your way to grab some crops and Beverly will give you some fireglow and tell you to make something spicy for her! You go onto an island and you see Atul picking berries! You go talk to Gustav, give him some food because he's hungry, hug him, talk to him and he gives you a vase! They are present, at every moment. Even with a large ship, an endgame ship with only a few spirits on it, it still feels full because you talk to them. You interact with them. You give them food---and you better not give Buck milk, because he's lactose intolerant, or Bruce and Mickey, well anything aside from junk food really, or Elana fine dining food---and you talk with them, and you share moments with them, you bond with them, and then suddenly they're gone.

Suddenly they're asking to be taken to the Everdoor because their time has come and you're devastated. Because now the character that you've spent so much time talking with, bonding with, enjoying talking to and interacting with, whoever it may be, is gone. And holy shit if that isn't one of the best representations of grief and loss that I've ever fucking seen I don't know what is. Now take that with a grain of salt because I don't have experience with grief or loss, and I can't speak for people who have had that experience. This game knows what it is, it knows what it wants to do, and it does it so fucking well. It lets you bond with these spirits, let's you get to care about them, learn their backstories, see how it affects them, how they change, and then you have to lead them to the afterlife, where you'll never see them again.

When playing the game, it really feels like every single detail is thought out, planned, cared about. The islands are amazing, the scenery is beautiful, have I mentioned the art style? It's amazing. I think the only game that could really beat it in terms of stunning art is Gris, but Gris belongs in a fucking museum sooooooo...

One big reason that I stopped playing Animal Crossing was because I felt like I was progressing too slow, wasn't getting enough done, or there wasn't enough to do. (Not saying Animal Crossing isn't a great game, just that it's not for me) Spiritfarer never has that problem. If a character storyline isn't progressing, work on another one! Stuck making a material? Move onto another project. Have too much time on your hands because your boat moves too slow? Gather more materials, talk with the spirits, make sure to stock up on their favourite foods so they're happy, or even take a break. There's never much of a lull, and while there are moments---mainly when sailing between islands---in which you can be bored, log off! Or just wait it out, it's never really more than a few minutes. For every quest that wants you to go somewhere and do something, there'll probably be one that wants you to make something: make a house, upgrade a house, make a production building, make this or that for one of Francis's errands, the list goes on.

And if you ever get bored with the main quests, or they're too complicated, or you can't find something (Henry the Acetate, I'm looking at you) (but I googled it for that), then there's civilian errands! You can do shit for the people in the towns if you want. Deliver records to these places, go through this mine, deliver a letter from Hummingberg to Nordsee. One of my favourite pastimes is cooking. I don't know why, but I just love cooking in this game. So, I've been trying to completionist it. (I won't, I'll give up 3/4 the way through and call it good enough) But even so, it just goes to show. There's really never a long period with something to do. The game stroked just the right balance between giving you things to do and giving you free time to do what you want.

I think I should end it here before this gets too much longer. But yeah! That's pretty much all of my thoughts on Spiritfarer. (Not really, but all of the ones for now) Amazing game, 5/5, absolutely recommend. (Please sponsor me Spiritfarer I would be great at it)

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

Fallout Season One: Starts Off With an Explosive Bang.

In a future, post-apocalyptic Los Angeles brought about by nuclear decimation, citizens must live in underground bunkers to protect themselves from radiation, mutants, and bandits.

“Flash, bam, alakazam. Out of an orange colored sky” are the opening words to Nat King Cole's song “Orange Colored Sky”, which describes his feeling of falling in love. But Prime Video’s adaptation of the beloved game franchise, Fallout, it takes a much more sinister and literal meaning as that Orange Colored Sky marks the beginning of the thermonuclear apocalypse and the ends of the world.

I have not played the Fallout games, but I am familiar with the franchise as I have watched some gameplay and lore videos regarding Fallout. The games don’t really have a story structure as they are an open-world RPG, where the player can do whatever they want in a nuclear wasteland. It is filled with unique worldbuilding as the aesthetics are a mix of what the 1950s thought the future would be and a thermonuclear apocalypse. Furthermore, the series' iconic dark humor and brutal violence add to the fun nature of the games. So adapting this franchise into a television series was going to be very interesting as Amazon’s history with adaptations have either been massive hits like The Boys and Invincible, or massive clusterfucks like The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power and The Wheel of Time. Thankfully, Fallout is a masterful adaptation of the video game franchise that sticks true to the games while also being accessible and fun to those unfamiliar with the franchise. 

Fallout flawlessly captures the essence and look of the franchise right down to the last bottlecap. The costume and production design swiftly transports viewers into a world of stark contrasts. From the pristine, utopian 1950s aesthetics of the vaults to the radioactive Wild West of the surface is meticulously rendered. Furthermore, it nails the game's twisted and dark humor as well as the horrors of thermonuclear warfare. Now some lore changes will make some purists unhappy, but Fallout is a faithful adaptation of the game. 

The series' narrative simplicity proves to be both its strength and its weakness. Centered around three characters vying for a MacGuffin, with two intertwining subplots—one set in the vaults and the other as a prelude to the nuclear devastation—the storyline is straightforward yet interconnected. Each subplot offers vital insights into the others, weaving a compelling narrative without resorting to misleading twists. However, despite its apparent simplicity, the storyline occasionally feels contrived and lacks consistent internal logic. It's unexpected for such a straightforward plot to stumble over basic storytelling elements. However, this flaw can be readily forgiven given the impeccably crafted characters. 

Our trio of main characters is exquisitely portrayed, with performances worthy of acclaim, possibly even Emmy-worthy. Ella Purnell's portrayal of Lucy is particularly remarkable; she brings depth to a character archetype that might have easily fallen flat in less capable hands. As the moral compass of the show, Lucy is portrayed with a blend of bubbly naivety and genuine kindness that never veers into caricature thanks to Purnell's natural charisma. Witnessing her gradual transformation into a hardened survivor as he learns from her mistakes and takes advice from others without compromising her core values is both riveting and emotionally resonant.

Aaron Clifton Moten, a veteran of the industry for nearly two decades, delivers a breakthrough performance in Fallout as he embodies every gamer's fantasy by donning the Armor of The Brotherhood of Steel. His portrayal of a sheltered man-child who is trying to do the right thing when he realizes the religious military cult he grew up in views him as expendable. To see him try to break away from the cult while also battling his inner designer for power is a fascinating character development. As he navigates his character's journey alongside Lucy, offering guidance on the harsh realities of the wasteland, Moten's performance is both poignant and subtly humorous, showcasing his impeccable comedic timing.

However, the biggest standout performance of the series is Walton Goggins as Copper Howard and The Ghoul. These two characters are on opposite sides of the moral spectrum. When he is Cooper in the past, he is a morally righteous character who slowly realizes that he might have sold his soul to the devil by promoting Vault-tec. To watch his slow realization of the evils of not only the company he has associated with, but the woman he has married is a powerful moral reckoning. Then his transformation into the hardened, badass, Ghoul with no moral code has a tragic undertone. To see a man become the very thing he hates is tragic. Yet watching him slowly regain his moral code while interacting with Lucy is powerful. This is a layered performance from Goggins that is centered entirely on moral conflict. If he does not receive an Emmy, I am going to riot. 

To watch these three characters learn and grow from one another is a testament to the power of writing excellent characters with fully realized arcs. I can’t wait to see where these characters go into their future seasons. Will they keep to their ways or will they realize they have a common enemy? 

In conclusion, Fallout emerges as a compelling adaptation of the successful game franchise. It understands and respects not only the source material but also the fanbase as the series is clearly made for them. I can’t wait to see what lies in the next season, but I know that I am excited to see New Vegas. 

My Rating: B+

[hollywoodxwhore]

Ours | Chapter 14

Colson x Presley (Original Female Character)

Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!

Warnings/Content: angst is sticking around for a bit. big emotions, Presley finding out about Col, swearing, mentions of suicide attempts

This chapter is a little less intense, but it's still heavy. Please take care of yourself and skip if you need to.

Presley

I’m not ready to go home yet. I’m on a high after confronting Megan and getting my proof, but I’m still a little mad at Colson. I need to grab a coffee, maybe, and think about what I’m going to do.

Jason will never agree to play the audio recording for anyone, so I’m going to have to publish it somehow without permission. I’ve gained a lot of followers since being with Colson, so I know people are bound to see it and probably save it, screen record it or something. It will clear Colson’s name and make Megan look like a total idiot.

I drive to Starbucks and grab a venti coffee, then climb into my car and lock the doors. I pull up my phone and trim the audio recording. My mind is racing and so is my heart. I should let Colson know before I do this, but he wasn’t in his right mind yesterday and I doubt he’s any better today. He’ll probably tell me there’s no point. 

I decide to take a little bit more time to myself. I slept like shit last night, and despite this coffee, I know I’ll be able to nap. I take myself back to Cash and Liv’s place. When I get inside, Cash is on the couch playing video games. He glances over at me. “Hey. You okay?”

I nod. “I just need a nap.”

Cash eyes the coffee in my hand. “Good luck with that.”

I shrug half-heartedly. “Thanks again for letting me stay.”

“Of course,” Cash says, pausing his game. He taps his fingers on his thigh. “Hey, Pres?”

“Hm?”

“Have you talked to Colson since you…left?” he asks. 

I shake my head. “No,” I say weakly. “I know I need to, I just…” I push a hand through my hair. Colson hurt me so badly by talking to me that way. I’m not ready to talk to him yet. What if he’s in the same headspace? What if he says more horrible things to me? Emotionally, I can’t handle it right now. 

“Would you mind if…” Cash pauses, chewing his lip. “Would you mind if I went and checked on him? I know you need space and I 100% support that, but I think maybe Colson needs a friend.”

I consider this and my eyes well up with tears. No matter what, I’m so unbelievably sad for Colson. I need to let him know what happened with Megan but I just can’t do it right now. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with the audio.

“Yes. Please do that,” I say. “Thank you, Cash.”

He smiles softly. “Go get some sleep. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” I say, then go to the guest room and pass the fuck out. 

I wake up when the sky is dark. Shit, guess I really needed that nap. I stretch out and reach for my phone. I really need to take it off do not disturb. It’s been that way since I left home almost a full day ago, and at the very least, I need to let Colson know that I’m okay, that we’re okay. We can make it through a fight. I’m confident in that. This is going to fix everything and we can go back to normal. When I get home later, I can explain everything in person and we can decide what to do together. 

I sigh as I turn off do not disturb, finally feeling ready to message Colson. As expected, there are tons of texts and missed calls from him. Even a voicemail. I listen to that first and frown at his voice. He sounds so devastated and guilt stabs me like a knife. But at the same time, he was out of line and I needed space. Cash went over to check on him, but I’m so torn on how to feel. 

I call Colson back but it goes straight to voicemail. I frown and try twice more, but he doesn’t answer. I scroll to our texts, finding a ton of messages pleading for me to come back. Lots of apologies. I text him back but my iMessage won’t go through. I send it as a text message, but worry causes my heart to race. Why is his phone off? Why isn’t he answering? Does he just need space from me or is something else going on? 

Just then, a soft knock sounds on my door. I sit up in bed and call out for the person to come in. Cash appears in the doorway and immediately, I can tell something is wrong. I turn on the lamp and scrutinize him. He looks exhausted and terrified and traumatized. “Cash?” I ask worriedly. “Come here.”

He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, pushing a hand slowly through his hair. His hand trembles as it returns to his lap. “What is going on?” I ask anxiously.

Cash’s lip trembles but he takes a deep breath. “I need you to just listen,” he says, “and not panic because everything is okay now.”

“Cash, what the fuck is going on?” I ask, and my voice is whiny with fear. 

“Colson is staying overnight at the hospital. He’s safe,” Cash says. Instantly, my blood runs cold and my hands start to shake. The hospital?

“Wh-what?” I whimper.

“Just let me get this out. Okay?” he asks, glancing at me before quickly looking away. “When I got over there, he kind of lost it. Broke down. Before I got there…” He pauses, swallowing hard. “If I hadn’t gotten there when I did, he was going to��he was going to take a bottle of pills.”

I blink, stiffening. “Wait.” I try to swallow but my mouth is dry. I scramble out from under the blankets and get up, pacing on shaky legs. “No. No no no,” I whimper, eyes filling with tears. “Oh god, Colson.”

“Presley,” Cash says firmly. I snap my head over so I can look at him. “Let me get this out.” His voice is firm and it shuts me up. I nod. 

“He didn’t take anything,” Cash continues. “I took him to the ER because I was worried. But he instantly regretted his actions. He scared the shit out of himself, Pres.”

I can’t stop shaking and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. My Colson, my sweet husband, thinking there was nothing left, no reason to live. The love of my life, intending to take his own life if my brother hadn’t shown up when he did. I crumple to the floor but I keep my mouth shut. 

Cash gets up and comes over to me, wrapping me in his arms. He scoops me up and brings me back to the bed, cradling me in his arms. “It’s okay, Pres,” he says weakly. “He’s staying overnight and he can come home tomorrow. I really think he’s okay. I think he scared himself enough that he would never dream of doing something like that again.”

“Cash…” Tears spill down my cheeks and I can’t stop them. My body trembles with sobs as I cling to my brother. “This is my fault.”

“Presley, no,” Cash says firmly. He cups my chin roughly so I’ll look at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“If I hadn’t left…”

“If you hadn’t left, then your fight would have escalated,” Cash interrupts. “You both would’ve said things you regretted.”

“Bullshit. This is my fault,” I insist, pushing off of him to get to my feet again. 

“Presley, this is not your fault–”

“How?” I cry, throwing up my hands. “I left him, Cash! I left him when he was at his lowest and then I turned off notifications so he couldn’t even get ahold of me, the one person who he needed to stand by him! How the fuck is this not my fault?” 

“Oh, so you’re just not allowed to have feelings?” he shoots back, getting to his feet. 

My brow furrows. “Huh?”

“So you’re not allowed to be upset about any of this. Megan’s accusations. Colson’s behavior because of said accusations,” he says. “You’re supposed to be perfectly strong for Colson and sacrifice your own mental health.”

“That’s…that’s not…”

“Yes it is, Pres,” Cash says firmly, walking closer to me. “You’re being way, way too fucking hard on yourself.”

“But he was going to kill himself, Cash,” I say miserably, face crumpling again.

“I know,” Cash says. “Hey.” He grabs my chin and turns my head gently so I’m forced to look into his eyes. “Could you have stayed? Sure.” He shrugs. “But something was bound to happen. What happened that made you leave?”

I swallow hard, then explain it to him. Cash nods and sighs. “Anyone in their right mind would have done the same thing as you,” he says gently. “Presley, I don’t care how much you love Colson or how much he was hurting. You didn’t deserve that and you deserved to get some space from the whole thing. No one could blame you for that.”

I slump over, hanging my head, and heave out a huge sigh. “Fuck,” I whimper.

Cash’s hand goes to my shoulder. “It’s okay, Pres,” he says quietly. “None of this is anyone’s fault but Megan’s. If you need to blame someone, blame that bitch.”

“Cash, she confessed,” I say, looking up at him. “That’s where I was this morning when no one could get ahold of me.”

Cash blinks in shock. “Wait, what?”

I nod. “I went to her house,” I explain. “I had my phone recording in my bag. She confessed to the whole damn thing.”

“Let me hear,” Cash says hastily. I pull my phone out and open up to the clip. Cash’s eyes widen and by the end of it, he’s even smiling. “Holy shit. You got her to confess, Presley. What are you going to do?”

“Post it to Instagram,” I say. “Tag her ass. And hope it’s up long enough for people to hear it and not get it taken down.”

“Do it,” Cash says. “Now. Post it right now.”

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Send it to me. I’ll post it, too,” he says. “Hell, we all will. Let me call the others.”

Within half an hour, everyone is at Cash’s place. Ashleigh, Slim, Rook, Baze. Within minutes, everyone has the recording and we sit around the living room, our fingers hovering over the post button.

Cash looks around at us. “Are we ready?”

“Ready,” Slim says.

“Consequences be damned,” Ashleigh says. “This shit ends now.”

“Okay,” Cash nods. “We post in 3…2…1.” 

And now, the clip is out for everyone to hear.

Taglist: @triplexdoublex@jaxbreaker@mgklove99xx@jinx-on-mars-19xx@iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker@anonymousme86@whiteleoqueen@feroniakutenpuu@hxllywoodwhxree

[tomoyajpeg]

White Brim | Epilogue 2

[ powered by ois~su ♪ ]

Tori: Mmph, really... I can’t think of anything to say.

It’s weird. I lost that badly, but I don’t really feel frustrated about it.

Eichi: Well, you all did your best too, didn’t you? It wouldn’t have been strange if everything was over and done with a little quicker, but unexpectedly you were able to persevere until the very last moment.

Tsukasa: Tomoe-onii-sama was truly a thorn in our sides... I would have never thought that a “fish” would be armed.

Hiyori: Fufu. It might be simple to abandon your social standing, but the bounds of the world of the living won’t disappear so easily. That’s exactly why discrimination won’t ever disappear, either.

Whether it’s a convenient, carefully thought out form of amusement or the setting of a game, real-world problems aren’t able to just up and vanish.

Eichi: Mhm. You poked a hole in the fragile rules of our game. I’ll commend you for this much, Hiyori-kun, your unexpected cunning was operating at full capacity.

Hiyori: Not as much as yours was, Eichi-kun. Are you, perhaps, a demon of some sort?

Eichi: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Tori: .......

Eichi: Hm? What’s wrong, Tori? I mean, you were completely deceived, emotionally devastated, and then lost our game on top of that, so are you feeling a little down?

Have you become disillusioned with me?

Tori: No... the angelic Eichi-sama who shines so beautifully onstage, and the devilish Eichi-sama who tricks everyone and triumphs in the end...

I love both of them. I’ve been saying that from the very beginning, haven’t I?

Eichi: That’s true. When you thought I’d died, your tears were real. Even I cannot doubt that radiance.

Eichi: You really do care about someone like me.

Tori: Yeah. Even though it looks like you have a lot of trouble believing that.

So, just like you did this time, even if it’s just a little bit, I want you to tell me more about yourself. I want to know and love everything about my beloved Eichi-sama.

Don’t hide away anymore, or try to cover things up, or pretend to be anything different. Don’t show me the fake Eichi-sama that you want me to see, show me the real thing.

From now on, please. Don’t keep me at a distance.

Eichi: I’ll endeavor to do so. I promise.

And I hope that when I really do die, you’re at least able to smile just a little. I’d like it to be a farewell that doesn’t leave you grieving in the very depths of despair.

I’ll teach you about my everything, little by little. I just pray that you won’t be crushed to pieces under its weight.

Tori: .......♪

Tsukasa: Fufu. It seems that Tori-kun has, at long last, finally reached the same point as I.

I am reminded anew of the importance of what I was able to obtain from Leader— from Leo-san.

Tori: And why do you look so triumphant?

Tsukasa: Well, I quite naturally ended up on the winning team this time, did I not? It feels as if the frustration earned from my crushing defeat at the hands of Crazy:B has cleared up to some extent. ♪

Eichi: Mhm. Your straightforward nature is a virtue, but there are no true straight lines in the natural world. You should remember to be a little more flexible in how you handle the situation in front of you.

Tsukasa: Yes. I shall take to heart what I have learned from this lesson, Tenshouin-onii-sama. ♪

Now, then. While it has been very enjoyable to reminisce about last night’s game and chat like this, I’m sure that you all must have your own affairs to return to—

Tsukasa: So I would like to immediately partake in my “winner’s privilege.”

Tori: ? What are you talking about?

Eichi: Fufu. Since this is such a special occasion, I’ll let you in on another evil, no-good side of mine, Tori.

Sometimes, rather than lying, the more effective option is to not tell the truth.

Tori: ...?

Eichi: I told Anzu-chan and Tsukasa-kun about it, and Hiyori-kun already knew about it and simply chose to keep quiet. It just so happens that the winner of “clamming” is allowed to make the loser their servant for just one day.

Tsukasa: Yes. And that is what I meant by “winner’s privilege,” the reward earned from emerging victorious. It’s a very special benefit.

Tori: Huh? Did you say “servant”...? So we were humiliated by losing, and now we have to be even more humiliated on top of that?

Eichi: The winner takes it all, and the loser has everything taken from them... He~y, Anzu-chan, it’s time for the costume you worked so hard on to make its proper debut.

Tori: Huh? Huh? Anzu, why are your eyes suddenly sparkling like that...!?

Tsukasa: Fufu. If you think about it, Onee-sama tricking and betraying Tori-kun is quite out of the ordinary for her, but this was her aim all along.

Onee-sama has always had an unrestrained longing to dress us all in adorable outfits, hasn’t she?

To be honest, I don’t quite comprehend that feeling, but as I hold such great love for you, Onee-sama— I would like to understand it.

Tsukasa: And so, with that said; come along now, Tori-kun. For the whole of today, you shall be my adorable maid. ♪

Eichi: And Hiyori-kun is my maid. ♪ Ah, don’t run away! It’s not like this is your first time, right?

Hiyori: T-this is why I never want to go to parties Eichi-kun’s place is hosting in the first place!

I don’t really mind wearing a cute costume, but I definitely don’t want to be manhandled and ordered around by Eichi-kun!

Eichi: How about you just chalk it all up to bad luck and give in?

Even though I’m sure you wanted to be on the “fisherman” team this year, defeat me and win, and then be in a position to order me around as you like...

Unfortunately for you, in reality it just didn’t turn out that way.

Hiyori: Uuu, this sucks! I’ll win next year, okay!? And then I’ll have you pay me back for this humiliation a billion times over!

Eichi: Isn’t that exactly what someone who always loses his bets would say?

Tsukasa: Indeed. If you’re frustrated, you should just win next time.

...I, as well, will not lose a second time.

Tori: N-no! No way! I’m telling you, I lost to Eichi-sama! I did not lose to Tsukasa!

If it’s a rule, then there’s nothing I can do about it, but at least let me be Eichi-sama’s servant! I don’t want Tsukasa!

Tsukasa: Now, now, don’t throw such a violent tantrum, and stop flailing around. Are you a toddler?

Tori: Uwaaaaa~n! Stop it! Don’t make me wear it, don’t put that maid-like white frilly thing on my head!

Eichi: To obtain anything, there must be equal compensation, Tori.

If you don’t want to be fitted with the mark of a loser, that servant-like white brim a second time— grow stronger, become an adult.

And next time, win.

Fortunately, I’m sure that from now on there will be countless opportunities to do so.

Tori: I-I’ve already learned my lesson~! Whether it’s something important or not, just teach me about it like a normal person, Eichi-sama!

If you’re too mean, I’m going to end up hating you, okay!?

Eichi: Ahaha. Well, for starters, let’s teach you how to tell a believable lie...

[ ☆ ]

[mx-piggy]

Okay I've finally watched the new Futurama... almost a week after it came out. In my defence, I had a pretty busy week, if you can class 'binge-watching several movies ready to go see stuff at the cinema and trying and failing to get some sleep before job interviews' as being busy. I digress. So, here's my review of The Temp. Spoilers ahead!!

This season has been consistently strong so far.

The Temp is an example of an episode that is all-around good; I'd rank it pretty highly amongst these revival episodes. The story is interesting, most of the jokes land, there's a lot of fun cameos and references for simpletons like myself to point at excitedly. After the devastating end of Quids Game, it was fun to see Futurama showing how great of a sci-fi comedy it is, with a fun, sci-fi, Twilight Zone-esque premise that is packed with strong comedy.

This episode definitely could have turned out more meanspirited than it did, but the crew constantly forgetting who Frank was never, for me anyway, veered into the cruelty of some of the Comedy Central episodes. I'd say that it stayed in the territory of funny, as opposed to doing a disservice to the characters like the Comedy Central era did.

The Temp actually reminded me a bit of Homer's Enemy, not just because Frank shares a name with Frank Grimes, and both episodes are named after each Frank. But, this episode feels a lot lighter than Homer's Enemy.

My only real issue with the episode is that the pacing feels a bit off at the end. I do appreciate its attempt at using a unique structure, and I would love to see further attempts from the revival to use a more a unique story structure without it being reserved for more emotionally-driven episodes like Quids Game. That said, I guess that it feels like, by the time Frank takes over Fry's identity in the main bit of the episode, it only lasts for a few minutes before they find the real Fry again. So, in total, there's only around seven or eight minutes where, as the episode synopsis describes, 'a mysterious temp worker takes over Fry's job, as well as his entire life', and we get around five minutes of that at the beginning, then three minutes in the middle of the episode. That and the six week timeskip leaves the episode feeling a bit rushed at the end, so it made it feel a bit underdeveloped. Again, it's just a minor criticism, and I liked the episode as it was; the structuring did make for an interesting story overall.

Part of me is tempted to write a Homer's Enemy-esque character study of Frank to satisfy my love of exploring characters whose lives kinda fucking suck lmao.

Something I really enjoyed about this episode is all the cameos and references it has. There's the Omicronians, Calculon, the Robot Mafia, Zoidberg's Uncle. And, I loved the incorporation of Amazonian Women in the Mood into this episode's story. It was such a fun, clever choice, and (unlike with Children of a Lesser Bog) it wasn't delivered in a clunky way. I also loved the Professor's 'I'm already in my pyjamas' (and how they subvert it).

And, this episode was so funny that I couldn't possibly list everything that made me laugh. Probably the biggest laugh was Bender's 'who the hell is he?'.

Overall, I probably liked The Temp a bit more than Quids Game and a lot more than The One Amigo, because I really enjoyed having an episode where we got to see the Planet Express crew together. Right now, I'd give this one a 7.5/10. I've used the word 'fun' far too much in this review (my apologies) but I really do want more fun episodes like this with interesting sci-fi premises and a mystery element to them, all the while being comedically strong.

As always, let me know what you thought about this episode!

[karinarro]

Hey hey, I saw your tweets about mgs fans who have proship DNI in their profiles being absolute morons and hypocrites and I just want to say THANK YOU because I feel like I’m losing brain cells over having to wade through so much bullshit in the metal gear fandom of all things. We might have a different focus on what blorbos we have (I’m more on the mgr side of the fandom but love the entire franchise) but I just wanted to send a big 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 because booooy does it feel lonely here sometimes.

It’s especially funny because when you think about it, the biggest proshipper in the metal gear fandom would be Kojima himself. Idk how people get into mgs and have never looked up the big words they put in their mouths even once. Like how can someone live like that, getting into a series that is supposed to make you THINK about what happens and how it’s a reflection of real world issues, and then turn around and parrot some right wing rhetorics repackaged as fandom “activism” 24/7, inherently contradicting that you even understood what these games were about despite claiming so otherwise.

It’s so… brainless and boring and as someone who loves to discuss the complexity of this franchise (and things in general), I am glad to come across a likeminded person in this fandom.

Like man I felt like I’m getting to old for this, I got into mgs before anti ship as we have it now was even a thing in the internet. But seeing that you’re about a decade younger than me and get that all of this stuff is horseshit, I feel like I am not losing hope 😅😅

I hope you’re having a great day :]

Also I love your art 🫶

Hey there!! Thanks so much for the kind message, I mean it 🥹🫶 I love MGR too!! I was so obsessed w it as a kid. I had my Raiden phase too~ (Still kinda am! That game awakened my love of mecha.) This is my first time dipping my toes into the MGS fandom. Coming from someone who usually lurks in smaller fan spaces, and said fan spaces are largely pro-fic, I really didn't expect the onslaught of antis interacting w my art hahaha! I was ripping my hair out vetting new followers that came into my twitter. Metal gear is a game filled with so much political commentary, I think I expected... more critical thinking y'know? The fans you mentioned are probably just as bad as the fanboys who think whatever went between BB and ocelot is just a 'russian taunt' I agree w/ what you said Kojima being profic LOL The man hated to have his life's work censored. To him, games aren't only a medium for his stories, but it's also a way to express his opinions & ideas. MGS in particular, it's about war. How war affects regular people, the devastation it brings them. How the fuckheads behind it are orchestrating it, taking advantage of the military industrial complex (To quote Kaz, "And war will become a business...") I'm again reminded of that analysis you rb'd from me: "Peace is only possible in the case of war criminals when they’ve been buried." I can't fathom how so many people missed that message in MGSV. As you said, it seems like people are fucking blind to the fact that their faves are bad people. They are war criminals! Some people in fandom acting like they are above it all, saying 'proshitter dni' and repeating fascist talking points is just so... I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because you are either that dense, or media illiterate or emotionally unintelligent or... something ! Most that I've seen so far who do this are teenagers, which okay. They are still figuring things out, I can excuse them a little bit. But there are adults over 20 who do this too and I'm just... wow. You know? To stand for Antis is to stand for censorship in fiction. And that goes against everything that Kojima believes. Haha dw there are people my age who aren't this stupid! I've been hanging out in more profic spaces and they're out there. You're not alone friend!! I hope you have a nice day too :] Lmk if you wanna be mutuals on twitter! 🌻

[crisalidaseason]

Greetings for you

I came here from your platonic posts and wanted to say thank you for writing stuff like that, I get pretty tired of searching the tags and finding nothing but porn. I don't know if you are receiving questions but I really wanted to see your take on platonic relationship with Levi, as a brother or a best friend you choose

Say nothing more, platonic Levi is my passion. Hope you enjoy it! Also, sorry for the delay, I almost had my liver stolen by a duende.

Platonic! Levi x reader

Cw: canonverse, Levi is traumatized, Levi is a little bit parentified, reader is portrayed as being younger (a cadet), attempted funny moments, Levi is a bit of an old man at heart

He is a tough cookie. He is difficult to connect with, his personality is not the most pleasant and he is demanding. Which means you won't have special treatment in the beginning and much like everyone else, you feel a little intimidated by Levi. But, you also noticed that he is not disrespectful, nor does he abuse his power over the cadets. Despite his mean first impression, Levi seems to be a man of honor and values and that sparks your curiosity to know him better.

Connecting with Levi is possible. Hange did it, everyone can do it. But he has a soft spot for people who enjoy tea time -and also knows how to brew it correctly - he likes silent companionship and quality time. He is not against people around him, but he likes a calm and quiet ambiance. He likes strategy games but not many people play with him and that's how you strike his interest.

"I've been playing for a few years now" he would say whenever you lost the first few rounds "have patience, I can teach you some tactics"

Whenever the night is difficult for both of you, tea and a tactic game is your bonding time. He did teach you some important observation skills that only an experienced captain would acquire. He is a good teacher, patient and precise with his words, but he also learns with you. Levi never seemed to underestimate anyone despite his mean face and scary aura, he always treated you and the other cadets as fully capable of things.

Levi is very observant, but a bit confused with the younger cadets actions and even expressions. Whenever the teenagers he is unfortunately taking care of come up with a new stupid game or an out of pocket gossip, Levi looks at you with the "what the fuck is happening" eyes. You explain to him, but he remains confused, shaking his head as if he was dealing with idiots.

You make him tea before your sleep curfew. Levi is a difficult person to change routines, but you try to introduce him a new kind of tea once in a while. In the beginning he would look at the mug with utter distrust, taking an almost inexistent sip and taking a bit too long to give you a final judgement.

"not bad" he would say "but I still prefer black tea"

And then he would come out of nowhere one night and ask:

"do you still have that lemongrass tea from a few weeks ago?"

Levi is a very disturbed man, but he learned not to show. Even his night terrors are contained. Unfortunately that strains him in many ways. He is constantly under a chronic pain from muscular tension. Because of that, he is quick to notice when your own feelings start to spill on your physical health.

"the doctor is in our base this week, go" he would randomly say to you one morning.

"but-"

"it's an order from your captain, go"

When your personality is down, he also notices. Despite him never being able to open up, he is a good listener and he is also good with advice. It's not pretty, he does say things you don't wanna hear, things you need to accept before it consumes you, but he waits for a better moment to tell you. When you're emotionally devastated he just listens, offering you a tea or any other beverage of preference, scheduling specific work activities he knows you enjoy doing. Levi is discreet with his help, making it seem like you just trauma dumped on him.

"I'm sorry, captain. Didn't mean to just rant about my life"

He would dismiss your worries with a hand gesture.

"it's not good to keep it in, it lowers your performance on the field"

He lies. You know he keeps everything in, but you appreciate him wanting to help you.

He hates messy places, and you often try to clean things before he arrives. Unfortunately Levi is extremely particular with cleaning and you accepted that he will end up finding something wrong. Levi does take time to teach you though, even if he ends up doing it himself later on (when you're not watching). It's a psychological thing.

"tsk, I'll have to teach you how to mix up bleach"

"cotton rags is for wood, newspaper for glass"

"Come here, I wanna see you doing it"

"Yes, circular motions, softly. You're cleaning, not sanding the dust off.

"NO, don't touch the bleach without gloves!!"

Whenever your squad goes to town and Levi is there, he looks like a dad monitoring a toddler. Cadets are rarely granted free time to wander around and you kinda go overboard on visiting shops and squares.

"you have one hour to return to our meeting place or else I'll hunt you down and make you clean the basement with Jaeger"

He ends up either staying nearby or straight up following you if something is off. He is paranoid ok? Give him a break.

He is such an irritating injured man. He hates being reminded of meds time, wound cleaning. He does it all, but complaining the entire time.

"captain, the more you let the nurse change the dressing the faster you heal" you try to convince, but he still frowns.

The good side is that he has more time to play games and rest. But at the same time you become his messenger bird.

"deliver this to Hange, but only to Hange!"

"fiiiineeee"

He does it on purpose, you think. Just to make you leave and stop watching over him all the time.

If you're injured, he is equally as insufferable. Asking the nurse to check on you hourly. Making you drink atrocious potions he bought from the market. He might think Hange is insane, but he looks just like them while threatening you to drink from the spoon.

"it's just medicine! you either drink it or I'll force it down your throat"

Such a sweetheart isn't he?