#I Don't Mind

[mary-arts-lol]

Looking at the sky...

[piowasthere]

I'm sorry, i really am but- @achickennamedcheese @librarian-computer wtf.

i mean- i enjoyed reading all that but these were some fun notifications

(it's taken from reblogs of this post, just for context)

[dead-body-in-the-basement]

can dazai wear chuuya's hat and feel pretty

Sure

[extrashortshorts]

First: how does Catfish!Roger x ?!Rogue = Otter!Ace?

Second: what was Sabo and Dragon's forms?

Third: is Garp some kind of Dog Monkey?

Garp would probably be a big dog, since his whole deal with ship and funny hat, also its easier to put a beard on the dog then on a monkey 🫱

Kiwi Rouge...better not to think logically about family trees. Its all based on associations and pure whim

Dragon IS a dragon, but he was too

BIG

And didn't fit here

[lunarriviera]

Big Dumb Hot Cop & Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant: A Manifesto

So it has recently come to my attention that this, my archetypal pairing formulation, has broken containment, probably because I've been flinging these terms around like a deranged person wielding a blunt instrument. Therefore it behooves me to explain what the hell I mean by all these adjectives, and who are some classic and contemporary examples of the idiots under discussion—who are by the way extremely in love with one another whether they realize it or not. (Don't you say "bromance." Don't you dare SAY that word to me.) I will use blorbo from my shows to illustrate.

I first realized that I am in fact a Big Dumb Hot Cop whisperer thanks to Chinese police procedural 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin (2022). Right away, it's very important to note that Big Dumb Hot Cop is NOT in fact all that dumb. He's only less intelligent IN COMPARISON to his Effete Slightly Sociopathic Genius Consultant, who is, as already stated, a genius. Big Dumb Hot Cop is in fact ruthlessly good at his job. He's driven, he obsesses about cases, he can walk into a crime scene and pick up on the one thing everyone else has missed. There is no suspect he cannot intimidate upon investigation. And he's even better when he's working with (or against, depending on what stage they're at) the genius consultant. They need each other, whether they're fighting or collaborating. They can only clear cases together.

Here are, then, police captain Du Cheng and his genius consultant, sketch artist Shen Yi, eyeing each other significantly as some witness is, I think, lying his face off? Honestly I can't even remember what's happening because the important thing here is their nonverbal communication. This is crucial for this pairing. They can think circles around each other without saying a word. Love that for them.

Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant has two levels of Possibly Sociopathic. Most maddeningly of all, he has secrets. Sometimes many secrets. So at first, Big Dumb Hot Cop is going to think he's the criminal, or in some way involved in the wrongdoing. The second level is that he'll find Genius Consultant just worryingly, disturbingly good at predicting criminal behavior. And he will continue to be suspicious of him for exactly one or at most two episodes, until he's then swept off his big dumb feet by the rapidity and correctness of Effete Genius's deductions. There's nothing Big Dumb Hot Cop loves more than solving cases. Well, maybe beer. He also loves beer. Once he sees that Effete Consultant is useful, he'll do a 180º and stop complaining to his chief of police, and instead start demanding that Effete Consultant be his forever. He'll start hanging out in his office. He'll literally drag him to crime scenes by the wrist.

(And did I mention Effete Consultant must be very pretty? Did I mention that? He is lovely. Long, thin fingers to steeple while he thinks. Delicate features. Haunted dark eyes. Never sleeps. Shocking self-neglect. You may see where I am going with this.)

Another important attribute of Big Dumb Hot Cop: he's big. Or anyway strong, or a gifted fighter. Let's face it, he has to be, because Genius Consultant is going to be reckless with his own personal safety to the point of stupidity (now who's dumb, huh?). For example, consider another Chinese procedural, S.C.I. 谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (2018). Captain Bai Yutong is sort of impossibly physically talented (former fighter pilot! national sandu champion! runs over moving cars and then shoots at them, like some kind of weird urban biathlon!) and, like all good Big Dumb Hot Cops, his entire life is thrown upside down because he now has to drop everything to protect his effete consultant, criminal psychologist Dr. Zhan Yao, who's so careless with himself that in any another drama he would probably be driving Bai Yutong to drink. Thanks to the danmei on which SCI Mystery is based, however, we can safely assume Bai Yutong is taking it out on Zhan Yao in blow jobs.

Note that Bai Yutong is the cook, even though he's the gong, and that he moves in with Zhao Yan to "protect" him from...something, I can't ever remember what, and then just sort of forgets to move out again. For the length of the entire series.

I would argue that 镇魂 | Guardian (2018) is a procedural, even if it also has ghosts, a talking cat, snake lady, eerie dark energy that gets flung around like paintball splatters, and a whole bunch of other supernatural stuff that was not approved of by Big Red (it's based on a danmei of the same title by Priest, a novel which has been pulled from circulation for censorship). Further confusing matters, Zhao Yunlan isn't particularly Big or Dumb, nor is he even really a Cop, technically; but I'm claiming him for this genre not least because of his Effete (drop-dead gorgeous) Possibly Sociopathic (Chief Zhao thinks he's a suspect for a good third of the story) and Definitely Genius, Later Gangpressed into being a Consultant, chock-full of secrets Professor Shen Wei.

Once they finally team up, though, they do this genre/pairing proud. Why, there's nothing they can't solve except how to stay alive. Look at them here enjoying some fine nonverbal communication: "Oh my god, you're just like me—you too will fling yourself directly into bodily harm in order to save a clueless civilian. Okay this could be inconvenient for both of us. Also wow for a genetics professor you're really fucking built, do you lift my bro." (Yes. Yes he does lift.)

A final example: the cruelly short-lived 光渊 | Justice in the Dark (2023), which like Guardian is based on a danmei by Priest, 默读 | Silent Reading. I got baited into watching the eight (8) existing episodes by seeing a cut of Captain Luo Wenzhou taking on like forty guys with a champagne bottle, a pair of curtains, an axe handle, and a birthday cake, like some kind of cultivator. He's so big and hot, and he's so very dumb. He's also a cop, and ACAB (which is sort of the plot of Silent Reading); and Fei Du is possibly using him for his own nefarious ends (cf. possibly sociopathic and secretive). But underneath all of Fei Du's "I am the abyss, fear me, rawr!" scary posturing, like a puffed-up kitten, he's just a very pretty tender-hearted effete genius, and you can watch Luo Wenzhou melting, and practically pinpoint the exact moment when his whole heart flies out of his eyes and he decides: Yeah, okay, that's it for me. That one. The annoying little traumatized fuerdai with some kind of a death wish that I do not understand. I'll be throwing myself in front of bullets for him and/or cooking him dinner for the foreseeable future, thanks.

Priest is gonna mess with this dynamic of gong/shou caregiving and safeguarding, because that's what she does; but the fundamental beats are still there. Look at these ninnyhammers, just this second figuring out they're actually kind people who belong to each other.

Here they are confronting a suspect together. (You will notice the large butcher knife wavering in the foreground.) Luo Wenzhou, highly trained, nonetheless cannot de-escalate the situation. It takes a pretty playboy in an arm sling to come wandering into the room, and then, using his superb personal knowledge of what it's like to be traumatized to the point of insanity, getting the suspect to disarm. I just love the way they look at each other, incredulous (Luo Wenzhou) and mock-fascinated (Fei Du). If I ever meet the person who directed this scene I'm going to need to kiss them on the mouth.

Once you accept the gospel of Big Dumb Hot Cop and Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant into your media-based life, you'll find it has many applications, not all of which have to be procedurals. Consider: characters from the Daomu Biji franchise, possibly (Hei Xiazi is the biggest dumbest hottest not-a-cop I've ever met). Leverage, in a weird OT3 way. Assorted combinations of Avengers. Teen Wolf fic, absolutely. Various Stargate incarnations. Several other Priest danmei, not only procedurals. Definitely Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Et cetera. (You're on your own with MXTX, though.)

This has gotten long and there are still so many nuances and features and wrinkles and problems with the theory that should be ironed out, but it'll have to do for now. I'll simply close by saying: yes, there is also a classic example and you already know exactly who it is.

[hoosbandewan]

EWAN MITCHELL - HEIR SUPPLY Esquire magazine outtakes via Rockwell Harwood

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

park shin-hye acts with her eyes so well there was so much unapologetic madness in her eyes in the beginning a demon on earth just to complete her punishment by any means and that slowly fading away as she starts to feel human emotions

[hexprb]

[take-me-back-to-eden]

Defeater // I Don't Mind

[hideawayfairy]

Sad thought but do you think Mammon ever used Fizz's relationship with Ozzie as a way to control him?

If there was ever a moment Fizz was being resistant or even a hint that Fizz could potentially leave Mammon's business, I can imagine Mammon just playing up how unfortunate it would be if word got out that Fizz was dating a Deadly Sin.

"Fizzie, my boy, if ya leave, don't ya think everyone will realize that you're cozying up to Ozzie? I've read the papers and it don't look good for ya. Oh, you know I don't have a problem with it. But the rest of Hell isn't as understanding as I am. And poor Ozzie, he'll be scorned and be made a mockery. And there'd be nothing I could do to stop it. So....you'll be here 8 o'clock sharp tomorrow, yeah? And keep up that smile, Fizzie. Everyone loves a smile!"

[teecupangel]

You know I always thought the watch dogs would be a perfect setting for Desmond to take a step back from a assassin and just go around helping people, like Aiden with his vengeance for Lena, or/and causing chaos with dedsec in San Francisco

Since we already have an Aiden x Desmond idea where it looks like it’s shaping up to Aiden fucking Abstergo (and maybe even the Assassins) up for kidnapping Desmond, let’s make this one more on the side of Desmond trying his best not to be part of whatever mess DedSec is brewing in San Francisco and failing XD

It was meant to be a vacation of some sort.

The Brotherhood’s little ‘sorry we got you killed to save the world but, hey, at least you lived! Here! Have a little vacay while we try and find your team who went underground after they thought you died’ apology ‘gift’.

Why San Francisco?

Because apparently Abstergo hasn’t gotten their little grubby hands in it that much so Desmond would have a semi-normal life.

Free boarding. Enough weekly allowance to get by and even splurge on food once a week…

It was…

Okay.

But it can get a bit monotonous so he would sometimes take a walk, look around.

Maybe climb the tallest building and use his Eagle Vision to make sure there’s no reds nearby.

There were a lot of gangs around these parts apparently but they seemed… uninterested in Desmond so they didn’t ping as red.

Desmond supposed he could do San Francisco a solid and take care of these gangs but he was on vacation.

He was sure he was going to be roped into the latest POE-related bullshit after this so he’d rather be lazy for once.

He deserved it.

He fucking died.

But, of course, since his name was Desmond Miles and his main profession was ‘fate’s favorite chew toy’…

One sunny day while he was just ordering food from a foodtruck that makes really delicious chilis that made his stomach curse him hours later (worth it though), his phone vibrated.

His phone never gave any notification.

He wanted to groan.

It seemed it was time for his vacation to be over.

Only to blink when he took out his phone and saw that it wasn’t a message or email from the Assassin only called Bishop.

It was from an app that Erudito apparently added to the phone.

… alerting him that someone tried to hack his phone.

He looked around with his Eagle Vision.

… and saw a red phone.

He blinked once more and saw that the man holding the red phone was wearing a blue baseball cap and had glasses.

And he was staring straight back at Desmond.

He mouthed the words ‘Erudito?’ to Desmond and Desmond grimaced.

Great.

Some hacker now saw his face and thought he was part of Erudito.

He has no idea how to fucking hack.

So Desmond did the best thing he could do considering the circumstances.

He ran away.

And the damn hacker ran after him.

[cloverthemonke]

hi

[valkerymillenia]

I loved DBDA but am the only one rooting for a polycule here?

[aethershroud]

Ever just let your intrusive thoughts win?

Further similarities:

Incredible animation that mixes 2D and 3D

Very good and healthy relationships between two people

Peak as fuck

Imparts some very important information onto old characters who absolutely needed it

YouTube still think they're for kids for some fucking reason

Both are better than the Joker sequel and most films that came out this year

[angryducktimemachine]

i promise I'm not mad and in the end I cannot stop people to tag things however they like but sometimes I wish to cup people's faces in my hands and ask. What on god's green earth makes you tag my art as BBC Sherlock.

[toocringeforinstagram]

You know it's funny, this was supposed to be an art blog but it's kind of turned into my ramblings about epic the musical

I blame the tumblr epic community for being so welcoming and cool