#I DONT WANNA STOP WRITING FOR BSD

[ruanais]

YOUR BOYFRIEND, WHO WOULD edge you until you’re a sobbing mess, begging for him to finally let you cum.

which soon turns into begging for him to stop cause you’re so overstimulated </3 pretty crystal tears fall down your eyes as you burry your face into his shoulder, his shirt wet due to your tears and drool :( eyes starting to droop as you struggle to not fall asleep from the exhaustion

or maybe he would bite down too hard on your neck until you bleed, to stop you from passing out and at the same time relishing in the pained gasp you let out as he sucks on the wound.

“love? dont tell me you’re falling asleep already? hah-oh god you’re so tight- let’s go one more round okay? just one more.”

CHARACTERS; JOUNO, DAZAI, NIKOLAI, akutagawa, kaeya, Diluc (when he has a bad day), Chuuya, CHILDE, blade, scaramouche + your favourites!

rua‘s notes; this is really short with barely any words I know but I wanna write smth for bsd already and get out of my art block while practicing my smut sooo :P you get this shitty peice of work </3 and no. It wasn’t the last round.

please don’t repost, plagiarise, or translate!! Reblogs are very appreciated!!

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[ranposgirlboss]

~bsd comfort hcs~

this came about while i was cleaning dishes and scanning my check in from work LMAOAKSIUJSAHb (this is pretty much just a more elaborate ver of my other one)

can also be seen as romantic or platonic!!

charas: sigma, ranpo, poe, chuuya, and nikolai

genre: FLUFF!!!!!!! some mild hurt comfort <3

I ALSO STARTED THIS AFTER WORK SO IT MIGHT KINDA SUCK SINCE IM SO TIRED OMFG 😭 IM SORRY IF IT DOES ILL GIVE U A KISS IN RETURN

(it slowly goes more and more downhill)

LESSGOOO ₍₍ ◝(　^∀ ^ )◟ ⁾⁾

---------------------------------------

SIGMA

-SIGMAA (my crush on this man grows bigger by the day), so as i mentioned last time he would know when there's something wrong pretty quickly!!

-sigma would probably play a game of cards with you to distract you for a bit tbh (he will hesitantly agree to play uno AJHNMAKBHJS HIM PKAYING UNO WOULD BE SO FUNNY but anyways.)

-may or may not try to lose on purpose in an attempt to make you happier

-seems like a speed typa guy (that card game is so fun its the best one)

-after a bit and once youve calmed down, he'll ask what happened to you

-if you to choose to explain, he would probably gossip about it with you, or tell you its ok and you're doing great <33

-if you choose not to, he totally understands! he'll just keep on playing the card game with you, or yall could go do something else!!

-VERY GOOD COMFORT!!

RANPO

-lets all be honest with ourselves

-he isnt the BEST at comfort

-however, that doesnt necessarily mean that hes BAD at it

-he will take a bit to notice, as he is pretty absorbed in cases, eating snacks, and being a dense genius that cant tell peoples emotions that well!!

-but, you can always ask him to distract you for a bit if your emotions are very big

-hes very good at distracting you

-probably will say "stop staying cooped up inside!! >:(" and just grab you and take you to some bakery to eat sweets with him, to play video games with you!!

-since he gets that youre not in the best mood, hell try his best not to steal your food. keyword: best.

-playing games with ranpo is so fun don't even

-he probably wouldnt be the best at responding well if you ranted to him, would probably say that he's sorry but that's kinda the best he can do

-if you dont wanna talk about it, perfect!! ranpo is internally scared you might lash out at him due to his lack of actual response ಥ‿ಥ

-pretty good at comfort, mostly just turns to yall hanging out tho!!

POE

-im never gonna stop writing for him be prepared to see him in every hcs <33

-at first he wouldnt know what to do

-i mean, hes barely even had any FRIENDS to comfort.....sooooooooooooooo

-his version of comfort is like buying a mansion if you feel sad

-i mean thats somehow the ONLY conclusion

-"you dont feel sad anymore right y/n ( ꈍᴗꈍ)"

-I MEAN YOU CANT FEEL SAD WHEN YOURE SUPER SHOCKED SO IT KIND OF WORKS JUST....NOT THE WAY YOU EXPECTED

NIKOLAI

-THE SILLY.

-HE IS THE PRIME JOKESTER. HE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

-he just doesnt wanna see you sad, BUT HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY COMFORT PEOPLE

-so, he will make you laugh. to distract you from the problem.

-he very well knows that this wont help in the long run, but i mean, what is he gonna do?? learn how to ACTUALLY comfort you?? why would he do that when he can be silly instead????? (same)

-if you didnt laugh at his jokes, well, then he'll shock you out of sadness.

-will literally fucking teleport your whole body some place random. (use his silly ability, idfk what its called 😭)

-like im not fucking joking

-so laugh for your own sake

-OR YOURE GOING TO THE VOID!!!

CHUUYA

-i eat my manga chuuya'os everyday (get it??? because cheerios and chuuya, so if you combine the names you get chuuyios/chuuya'os. laugh.)

-hot take, I THINK HE WOULD BE REALLY GOOD AT COMFORT

-LIKE NO CAP

-he would probably just bluntly ask you what was wrong, and if you don't want to explain, that's alright.

-im not gonna shut up about him taking you on motorcycle rides.

-i never WILL >:(

[scararingg]

soukoku gives reader punishment :p

i read the bsd manga so here.. (bro im writing this next to my sister and brother..)

FEM AFAB - BODIED READER! SORRY MEN! IF YOU WANT MALE JUST ASK! maybe ooc..

“F-fuck!! D-dazai!!” You moaned, gripping onto his hair as your voice was muffled.

“What is it, pretty?” Dazai slurred, pussydrunk as he licked his fingers.

“P-please.. i-im gonna c-cum..” He quickly stops just as you could taste it as he giggled, smirking at you deviously.

“Wh-what..? Why did you—“ You were muffled by Chuuya forcing his cock deeper into your throat as he let out a low groan, cursing under his breath.

“God~ I cant.. agh…” Chuuya gripped onto your hair tightly, shaking.

“Aww, Chibi is soo sensitive~” Dazai teases, as Chuuya glares at Dazai

“Shut up, you d-dumbass!!” He stutters as you wrap your lips over a specific vein.

He suddenly cums all into your mouth and pulls out at the end, a bunch of cum all over you.

“d-dazai chuuya i ..wanna cum..”

“Want to cum after you acted like suchh a slut infront of Fyodor and Nikolai?” Dazai whispers into your ear.

You pant, shaking as he kisses you roughly, gripping your chin.

Chuuya starts fingering you, as you moan, feeling like a absolute mess. It felt too much…

“I- i wontt…” You repeat, as dazai laughs.

“My pretty girl…”

“Dont talk to them again.”

[tittysuckersworld]

bsd sleepwear headcannons because i cant stop thinking about it

dazai: either missmatched pajama sets or like a old footy night gown and sweats. if its really hit he might wear a thin linnen nightgown shift but he still wears smth. also his bandages stay on most nights. (also onsies because i forgor when writing-)

atsushi: also has a pajama set or two, mostly given from the agency. but whenever he can he wears the onsies he has. if its really hot he sleeps in some comfy baggy shorts and a t-shirt

kyouka: also onsies. has like a nightgown but most of the time wears her onsies and feels comfortable in the hug of smth soft and warm :>

kunikida: matching pajama set, one for every day of the week scheduled so it works with his laundry and everything else. has an extra set or two and a onsie because family sleepovers are inportant for company moral

naomi and junichiro: matching onsies, a few nightgowns for naomi and some night shirts and slacks for junichiro. when its hot junichiro probably just wears a thin shirt and comfy pants wile naomi.. i dont wanna talk about it.

ranpo: constant onsies. all the time. honestly a miracle that he gets out of them in the morning. cannot sleep without being a little kitty cat or smth

kenji: honestly? just simple shorts and a shirt. very simple for a comfy contry boy. has a onsie as stated of the others but thats only for fancy occasions

yosano: only wears nightgowns. they have tryed to get her to join in with onsies but they feel too.. i guess entraping to her? just not her style. if it gets too cold she will double up on blankets if anything

fukuzawa: probably just wears jinbei(traditional japansese sleepwear from google) most of the time. tho also has a few old person night gowns like dazai and some onsies for sleepovers. also a tall pointy hat that slumps over. you can guess the ones ;>

okay i dont really know for those outside of ada- but um-

poe mostly ends up sleeping in his work clothes cause his layers look so so comfy- if not, pajama set and coat still because aforementioned comfy

lucy probably just wears a simple night dress. a little nice one but smth that also keeps her comfy

alutagawa sleeps in his outside clothes. he has mental illnesses(dw i do too eyebrowless bang man). if you can get him tho he will take onsies

gin has some pajama sets for most nights, and also onsies because let me have this. if i cant have them. they can.

ane-san also wears jinbei or honestly silken night robes/gowns. all fancy enough and made to be super comfy. plus some sorta loose silk pants and just djebdufjej comfy comfy girlboss. has a single onsie to match with chuuya

and the reason why had all these thoughts in first place, chuuya nakahara, the one who i have the exact ideas for!!!!!

he just wears some comfy pants. no shirt. choker depending on how he feels and his energy. and thats it. he might have some extra gloves or a dog plush with hand pockets built in but um. ya! actually he dose have that plush it was at first cruddily sewn together when he started in the mafia and only slept with his hoodie on even if he didnt like it because it kept his hands away. then over time it has been sewn over and over, patched up with little bits of his comrades he trusted to mend em up with. even some stuff from himself. is a stupid silly guy but fuck it i love hypothetically accesible stuffed animal design.

anyways goodbye from my self indulgent rambles and i gotta get to sleep

[gildeddlily]

finally re-reading stormbringer, first post of a long list (30 photos limit go die) we stan the flags

I read stormbringer this summer, and it was something (it destroyed me and made Chuuya became my favourite character of all bsd- more than anyone else (like sigma, he's my fav in the decay of angels arc), chuuya solos everyone and you know it shut up)

so, like I did with fifteen I feel the urge to share everything cause yeah we all need to suffer more

1. We Stan The Flags

This always makes me laugh, cause Chuuya's like "yeah, it's probably the shadiest and most dangerous role I could have as a non-executive, what's so important ab it? It's cool guys I'm not better than you all" (imposter syndrome sir)

I love Pianoman. I just- I love the Flags, and I will always fantasize ab a world where they're still alive. and them bullying chuuya is my favourite trope alr.

and i just know that in a no powers au chuuya would have been the kind of teenager to befriends people older than him like ten years age gap, cause people his age just weren't for him (in an healthy way guys)

try to not think ab chuuya's inability to accept gifts and love, and just some of the most powerful men in the mafia being excited ab a silly guy (silly chuuya who's stronger than half of them(gotta write chuuya and iceman first meeting))

the... the fruitiness of this sentence is menacing so I'm gonna- just yk

the au where Chuuya takes Lippman place ad the mafia's contact with the light is so beautiful and sad. and that fic where he takes chuuya on set I'm crying stop it

canon chuuya is so mean. Like not mean, just harsh. a lot of people only sees him as someone who gets mad at Dazai and is a peace of cake with everyone else- like no? he send to hell every person he talks to and goes on with "wanna know the power of gravity" every two seconds. he's just chuuya, gotta accept him as our little mass murder with anger issues that needs to be controlled cause the Mafia boss is afraid he's gonna die if he doesn't <333

and this is so beautiful in a way. he always talks ab killing dazai and dazai doesn't help with that, only giving him more reasons to do so, and same with the flag. anger issues maybe, but is he really angry with dazai and the others? we see him really mad, and it is not a pretty thing to watch- and they all know what mad chuuya really looks like and just know when he's yes angry but not really. everyone is ready to fight, and are relieved when things dont escalate (they love chuuya so much stop please)

they comfort him in a way that is heartwarming. they don't offer him useless words or things like "don't worry you have a past and you're human", they don't beat around the bush. Pianoman's like "hey, we know you don't know if you're human, and I'm gonna be super harsh ab it cause we're in the mafia and all of that but listen kid, here we are ab to solve your existential crisis"

even Iceman, the cold blooded hitman who almost killed chuuya a couple of times and was ab to try it five minutes before this, is fucking smiling. they're so happy to help him it hurts (just know iceman called him kid at least some times. he's the real big brother and I just know it)

yes, this is the first time chuuya has real friends- not kids he has to look after and protect without receiving gratitude but just a "it's the least you can do" attitude, not whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on with dazai, just friends. they spend time sìtogether, they give eachother gifts. they're kind with eachother in the ways the know how

an chuuya doesn't know what to do, cause he has never had this type of relationship with anyone, the "give-receive" mechanism that every relationship should have. he doesn't know what to do, and I need to hug him

and then the gag we needed and something I need to draw (Pianoman definitely is the tired mom. Iceman is the dad cause yeah who other. Chuuya and Albatross the sons, Doc the gay emo cousin (what do you mean you wish to be carried by Adam sir) and Lippman the sassy aunt. just see it)

he kind of is sir (he's fucking sixteen just kill me)

something I love ab him is the fact that he's emotionally constipated but like one of the less serious one. he knows that he can be easy to read since he's very open ab his emotions (even if they understand he could just kill everyone, so), but can be serious in a way a teenager shouldn't be able to. he chooses to be so open with dazai, the flags and the people he cares about. the trust king fr

they all know he's gonna come back (and that he's crying) cause he probably wanted them to, or he would have reacted worse to getting understood so easily

and this is the trope asagiri give us so many times and the best one in the history of tropes. bad scary guys having fun with some other bad scary guys and enjoying their time together like normal people.

...kafka, my love, stop it. you were doing do good

[akutails]

recent wips?

THANK YOU ANON I LOVE U

university student! akutagawa as ur suitor fic

now i've already posted and drafted 5 chapters of this fic on my old blog and i stopped writing it bcs i lost motivation BUT ! i wanna pick it up again bcs its just a sweet lil akuatagawa as ur suitor and i really loved the idea and i hv so many things i wanna do for it so :)) stay tuned ! i might give some 👀 sneak peaks if u ask the right question <3

kageyama x student journalist! reader fic

this one MMMMMMM i love it . its abt reader interviewing the whole volleyball team when they make it to nationals so they can write abt it on the school paper BUT !! reader has never written for volleyball so when they get to interview kageyama and realize how much he knows abt it they ask for his help :)) i have so many sweet ideas for this one and the layout is almost done so im super super excited !

bungou stray dogs x moriarty the patriot oc! reader

now this one . it's more imaginative than my other wips HAHAHAHHAHA AND ITS SUPER SELF INDULGENT ! basically the reader gets transported to the mtp universe due to an ability user having the ability to make portals to other universes (totally not inspired by america chavez/s) and while the bsd universe tries to bring u back the mtp guys figure out where u came from while simultaneously making sure u dont ruin their timeline by being there 😭 it's super fun and i lovee thinking abt it (but not writing it lawl) so this one is my fave<3

[i-love-linux-and-reject-gender]

it is i, ur personal anon,,

i lwft void linux for debian sid cuz my netbook needs the nvidia 340xx drivers and only debian sid/unstable still officially has those of like any distro lol.

also on void i literally had to package and build my own stuff if not in the repos, i mean xbps-src templates are kinda easy BUT STILLL

honestly i jusz wanna stop worrying abt the OS i use, i want something that works fine that i can play minecraft, browse stack overflow in firefox and write shitty patched together python code on lol

void is an incredible distro, but its so different to like all of the linux ecosystem. its more like BSD but if it was a linux distro lol,,

and omfg i had to patch and fix so many things sometimes in tge source code itseld bc dumbass me thought it was a good idea to use the musl version lmao. it was fun to me, i enjoyed it, but i dont wanna only use my conputer like that. it made me learn sm tho !!

hiii, i missed you!

debian <3

don't use it anymore because it doesn't fit my usecase but it's like an objectively good distro

interesting that void requires this much manual work

definitely agree with the part that you learn something, i definitely learned a lot of stuff installing and maintaining arch

understandable that you want to use your computer for actual work

i mostly use windows for that

but a lot of stuff i use is hella unstable, i was a happy arch daily driver and my server infrastructure is in a 2+ year ongoing migration

i hope i see you again soon anon!

[3rdgymbros]

oh, you can be your own god if you want to | aya & odasaku | bungou stray dogs

Read on AO3. Please leave a review!!

When she lies like this, in the quiet and the silence, with only the breath filling her lungs and her heartbeat thrumming under her skin, her mind wanders to her early years, to a featureless man she thinks of at the oddest moments. Her father? Why can’t she remember him clearly?

If she’s being honest with herself, she holds no love for her parents. Osamu Dazai and Nakahara Chuuya. Their names mean little to her, their faces even more so. A faded picture, black-and-white comes to mind, whenever she thinks about them. Taken in a bar, with her parents and Odasaku solemnly raising their glasses in a toast for the photographer. She supposes that they have pleasant enough looking faces, but she doesn’t feel connected to them. Not on a personal level.

Odasaku – no, Dad, he’s been her Dad all her life, and his face is the first that comes to mind when she thinks of family, of home, of the person who loves her the most – always tells her that they’d loved her and would have wanted to keep her, but Aya finds that hard to believe.

If they’d loved her, how could they have left her so easily?

The sheets rustle. Aya’s eyes fly open. Beside her, Sakura inhales and exhales. The beside clock ticks the seconds away, now stretching into minutes.

The empty silence descends and fills the space.

Odasaku finds her in the morning doing laundry. It’s a job that Aya enjoys doing – the simple, if time-consuming task keeps her hands and mind busy as she washes, dries, creases and presses them to perfection. One stack is done; with a heavy sigh, Aya floats them to her room. She hears a shout from Kosuke – something about how she’s cheating at her chores. Aya tells him to shut up the hell up, which earns her a light smack on the wrist from Odasaku and a disapproving glare, the closest thing to a scolding that she’ll ever receive from him.

“How are you feeling?” Odasaku says, grabbing a couple of sheets from the dryer and wrestling them into folds.

The daily check-in is something that Aya appreciates; she has fourteen other siblings, but he still manages to make time for her, to make her feel like she’s special and treasured.

Her smile is as bright as the beam of a flashlight. “I’m okay!”

“Abilities okay? Not giving you any trouble?”

“They’re fine.” Aya nods.

She’s had the mysterious ability for as long as she can remember. Odasaku had discovered that she’d had a strange and startling ability – she could manipulate gravity. At first, Aya had thought that she could move things with her mind, but Odasaku had told her gently, it was gravity she was manipulating. Sakura is fond of telling her the story – how Aya had held out a chubby hand, and a toy had floated up from the floor and into her fist, how her fingers had glowed an eerie red. Since then, Aya had quietly worked on developing the skill, as a fun game with her siblings at first, and then more seriously, at Odasaku’s direction.

“Remember not to use them outside.” Odasaku warns, filling the dryer again.

“Yes, Dad.” Aya floats a stack of finished laundry out the door.

The screaming starts up, louder this time, but Aya doesn’t tell Kosuke to shut up.

In her dream, Aya knows that she is falling, though there is no up or down, no walls or sides or ceilings, just the sensation of cold, and darkness everywhere. An inhuman growl rumbles, glowing eyes or fire and black smoke rising from the murky blackness. She’s so scared that she could scream, but when she opens her mouth, nothing happens, and Aya wonders wildly if she falls forever and ever without ever touching down, is it really still falling?

Aya thinks she will fall forever.

A noise punctuates the silence, a thin bleating growing louder and louder until it is like a scythe of metal slicing the air, slicing into her –

Then Aya wakes up.

Her alarm has been blaring for twenty minutes. It’s six fifty A.M.

Aya sits up in bed. Her comforter and pillows are glowing bright red, floating a foot above the bed. She’s covered with sweat even though her room is cold. Her throat is dry and she’s desperate for water, like she’s just been running a marathon.

For a second, when Aya looks around the room, everything seems fuzzy and slightly distorted, like she’s not really looking at her room, but only at a transparency of a room that’s been laid down incorrectly so the corners don’t match up with the real thing. Then the light shifts and everything looks normal again.

All at once it comes back to her, and blood starts pounding in her head: the dream, the growling, the eyes –

“Just a dream,” Aya mutters, putting her feet on the ground. She tries to tell herself that she’s okay, that she’s fine, that nothing’s going to happen. The feel of the cold, polished wood beneath her toes reassures her. Just a little. “I’m being stupid.”

That inhuman growl sounds again, right in her ear. Aya has to glance around the room to make sure that something won’t jump out at her from the shadows.

She tries to ignore the dread causing her stomach to clench in on itself, the feeling that her body isn’t her own anymore.

She sees it again.

It’s an enormous creature, flanks rippling with muscle, about the size of a small horse. Its paws are more like a feline’s than a dog’s, with claws over an inch long, sharp and deadly. Its fur is pitch black, with a thick, bristly mane that runs along the ridge of its spine down to a bushy tail. Eyes of flickering flames gleam brightly out of the darkness, and from its throat come a long string of undulated growls.

“What are you?” Aya asks, finding her voice and staring at it with all the challenge that she can muster.

She will not be afraid.

She will not be afraid.

She will not . . .

All she gets in response is a snarl.

“I can’t understand you.”

That’s what she remembers just before the mouth of the beast yawns wide open and swallows her up.

In her dream, she falls through darkness.

In her dream she falls forever.

On about two hours of sleep, Aya’s managed to make eggs on rice for her family. It’s odd to have the house so quiet; Aya can’t remember the last time she’s had a small sliver of peace.

There’s the taste of old coins on the back of her tongue. It’s easy to use her ability today. Aya barely has to concentrate; unbidden, the utensils float into her hand. She can feel the power thrumming below in her veins, jumping like static electricity to sting her skin.

Exhaustion from the night’s events drags at her like wet winter clothes during a swim. She doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be able to resist the pull of a current she doesn’t understand. Aya wonders what would happen if she lies down and refuses to get up ever again.

“How are you feeling today?” Odasaku puts his hand on her forehead.

“A cold, maybe.” Her face is aflame and Aya feels like she’s running a fever. Her throat is stripped raw.

“Are you getting sick?”

“No, don’t worry.”

“Maybe you should see a doctor.”

“I’m fine, Dad. Really.”

“Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

Too achy to argue, Aya lets him push her in the direction of her bedroom.

“Daddy?” She asks. She hasn’t called him that since she was nine. “Could you stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?”

He does.

Tonight, she finally gets a reprieve from the onslaught of nightmares.

Her father comes to her in flashes. Sometimes, Aya can hear his voice, just a word or two, but somehow flavored with warmth and the tiniest hint of familiarity that makes Aya think that she’s heard it before somewhere, somehow, even though such a feat should be impossible. And then she sees his face, this time clearly visible, an uncanny mirror of her own delicate features, scrunched up mid-laugh, as a pair of chubby hands reach out to pat at his cheeks. There’s a high-pitched gurgle of laughter, the twinkly sound of a child’s laughter as a hank of bright orange hair is tugged on and slobbered over.

“Aya, no, stop, that’s dirty!”

Her cheeks are wet when she wakes up. Aya feels the ceiling brush against the crown of her head; her feet skim empty air.

It had felt so real; like she was there, relieving the moment together.

The tears refuse to stop falling.

It’s Aya’s turn to make breakfast. She’ll admit that she’s unusually distracted today, the dreams weighing heavily on her mind. Apprehension has been thrashing around in her heart, unspoken and squashed down by her will. Odasaku wanders into the kitchen, and, too late, Aya realizes that the miso soup has boiled and bubbled over. Hastily, she grabs a rag and mops up the mess, but the damage is done.

Concern colours Odasaku’s face. “What’s wrong?”

Aya bites her lip and plays with her fingers. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“Yes, there is.” He smiles and pets her hair, smoothing out stray strands and untangling knots. “I can tell.”

Aya hesitates.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“What were my parents like?”

Odasaku looks taken aback. It’s understandable. She’s never asked him about them before; he’d always imitated the conversation, and even then, Aya had never shown much interest in them. “Why do you ask?”

“I dreamed about them.” Aya ventures nervously. “I think . . . I think they looked like me.”

Aya wipes her hands on a dish towel, and tries to save the soup. In her mind’s eye she can see her father, the bronzed curls, the warmth in his eyes and the brightness of his smile. She says, wistfully, “He had orange hair. I heard his laugh. It was . . . Nice.”

“That was Chuuya,” Odasaku says, quietly, “You would have loved him.”

She’s heard that before.

“What was he like?”

Odasaku offers her a small, strained smile. “We’ll talk when you get home after school, okay?”

Due to her own stubborn willfulness at wanting to tag along with Kunikida from the Armed Detective Agency, Aya doesn’t get a chance to go home, and instead, finds herself traipsing through a dark and damp subway tunnel, curls bouncing and heels crunching against gravel.

The more rational part of her insists that she should leave this to Kunikida who’s been trained to deal with situations like this, that Odasaku won’t be happy if he knows how she’s spending her afternoon – he always manages to find out about her mischievous endeavors, it’s almost as though he has a sixth sense – but there’s a bigger part of her that says Kunikida owes her this. She’s nearly been blown to pieces by a bomber; she’s absolutely freezing; and by morning, half the population of Yokohama will know her as the poor little girl who was involved in a bombing.

And then it all goes to hell.

“Kunikida,” Aya tries to say, but the name catches in her throat. She feels like fear has turned her to stone. She squeezes her eyes shut, but she can still see the soft shower of blood that splatters the concrete in crimson pools.

Kunikida. Anger seethes through her like liquid. He’s hurt, he’s hurt, he’s hurt, she can’t just sit here and do nothing –

There’s a horrible bang – a thousand times worse than the sound of a balloon exploding – and then a loud scream as a body hurtles into a wall, hard enough that the concrete splinters upon impact.

“Okay, Kunikida,” Aya says, keeping her voice steady, even though her hands still quake with leftover nerves. There’s an unfamiliar voice in her head now, snarling that she should kill the screaming fool now and get it over with, and she can feel the power at the tips of her fingers, the carnal urge to rage and scream and destroy almost overpowering, but Aya pushes it to the back of her mind and tells it to shut the hell up. “I can hold him, but you need to disarm the bombs.”

Kunikida’s staring at her, at her glowing red hands in shock. His face is caked with blood. “ . . . Aya?”

“I’ll explain later,” She says in a strangled voice. There’s a cut above her left eye, and a bloody gash on her cheek. Wet warmth trickles down her face, mixing with panic sweat. Odasaku’s voice swims through her head, warning her not to use her Ability in public. She hopes, prays that Kunikida won’t tell anyone about this. “Just . . . Hurry. Please.”

Aya’s unable to support her own weight; Kunikida has to half-carry, half-drag her for several paces at her insistence that she can walk. When what little strength she has drains out of her, Aya crumples into a heap on the floor. Kunikida gives up the charade of allowing her to walk on her own and unceremoniously lifts her up off the floor and into his arms, as if she weighs nothing more than a feather.

To make matters worse, Odasaku sees Kunikida carrying her into the office – who knew they worked at the same place? – and cries out her name in panic when he sees her bloodied clothes and the myriad of shallow slices all over her forehead and left cheek. She’s never seen him look so scared before, and for a moment, Aya feels guilty at the pain she’s causing him.

Again.

“Daddy, I’m fine,” Aya sighs, but her protests fall on deaf ears as she’s rushed to the infirmary.

The doctor that meets them in the infirmary is the picture of calm, set in direct contrast with everyone else’s reaction. Aya can’t find any trace of anxiety in her face. In a soft voice, she introduces herself as Yosano, and invites Aya to take a seat. She works with quick, sure movements. The only sound besides their quiet breathing is the soft plink, plink as the tiny fragments of debris drop one by one onto the table. The feel of needle and thread tugging at the edges of Aya’s skin lapses into something almost soothing and repetitive.

“Daddy? You’re looking at me funny.” Aya says, as Yosano tapes up her face with gauze and bandages, sealing it to her skin. She won’t be able to take off her bandages for a few days, so she’ll be reduced to seeing out of one eye for the time being.

He is. Odasaku’s staring at her, so hard that it makes her uncomfortable. “You look like him.”

She knows he’s referring to her father – she can finally put a face to the nameless concept of a father – but Aya can’t yet tell if the resemblance is a positive or negative attribute.  

“Also, you’re grounded.”

“What?!”

Tonight, she sees an unfamiliar face. Parts of his face are hidden by shadows, but Aya gets a glimpse of high cheekbones, clear, white skin wreathed in bandages, and a whisky brown eye, so dark and full. The sleeve of a black jacket flutters in and out of view, a bird’s wing.

Black makes her think of an infinite darkness, thick and cloying; of the nameless beast that has haunted her dreams every single night. Swiftly, something cluthes at her throat. Fear. “It’s going to come.”

“Who?” His voice is very soft; his eyes are even softer as he tilts his head and drinks in the sight of her.

“The dog. He always comes.”

“Not tonight.” She hears him say, ever so softly. She turns to him, surprised. He feels her gaze and turns too.

“Are you sure?” Aya asks, confused, her eyes darting about, searching for nonexistent answers.

“Yes. He won’t come. Not as long as I’m here.”

She’s relieved; a weight eases up off her chest, her breathing comes easier now.

“Are you scared of him?” He stares at her appraisingly.

It takes a minute for Aya to grasp that she should reply, and not as defiantly as she would have liked, she retorts: “A little bit.”

“But it’s okay now.”

A strange calm fills her.

They sit together in the silence.

She sleeps through the night, and doesn’t wake up once.

[futilescript]

soukoku piece i have been working on as a vent

content warnings: mentions of alcohol, suicidal thoughts, and emotions in general

reader gets to decide the type of relationship. because op is a little shit and left things rather ambiguous! hope you like it ~

(Filed under the cut for length)

Nakahara Chuuya

• Doesn't mind if his partner is timid or boisterous. Seeing as he has worked with both kinds before he doesn't see a problem with using this experience with potential partners.

• Very patient. Willing to take time out of his day to listen to you if and when you have things you would like to discuss.

• A good listener but disastrous at supplying advice that does not have a very violent undertone.

"Ah well, I can show them what it's like to be in pain if you'd like?"

"I think I can do that all on my own, it's appreciated though."

• Genuinely intrigued by your interests whether they align with his or not. Very supportive of your hobbies.

"You collect these?"

"Yeah, it's a bit embarrassing.."

"Oh no, they're cute. Do what makes you happy. It never matters what other people think."

• Acts as a caretaker whenever you think you may need one. Allowing you to delve into whatever vice that helps to keep the thoughts away. Several times he has allowed you to raid his wine cellar and cry on his shoulder.

• Keeps tabs on physical, verbal, and emotional barriers. Your gloves that almost match his own do not go unnoticed. The way you flinch before, during, and after a colleague touches you in a friendly manner is one of the first things he picked up on. And so, he refrains from touching you at all unless it is entirely necessary.

"I'm not weak." You murmur after an evening of his eyes constantly examining you.

"Never said you were."

• Seemingly out of nowhere he will gift you things that he thinks you will enjoy. Ranging from expensive bracelets, necklaces, gloves, and flowers. His only excuse being 'They reminded me of you. How could I not get it for you?' A sly smile playing at his lips.

"Am I allowed to do the same?"

"Give me things? I'd rather you didn't but I suppose I cannot stop you."

Osamu Dazai

• A bit of a hypocrite. Though suicide-crazed he will drop everything if you so much as mention the topic. He can joke around with you about it but can always tell when you using it as a coping mechanism instead of fun.

• Being experienced in his antics of a 'refreshing and painless' suicide he will go into full detail about techniques with you. Gauging reactions based off your body language is easy enough. Having been in the mafia and now the dectective agency has taught him everything he needs to know.

"Are you going to commit a sweet death with me today, lover?"

"I'll get back to you on it."

• Depression, anxiety, stress, and everything few and far between are all things Dazai has managed with for quite a while. And so when it all gets too much he will whisks you away from boring paperwork to try and cheer you up. Revealing that he was stolen money from Kunikida's wallet to buy you takoyaki and then red bean taiyaki make you laugh. And your laughter warms his heart even while you reprimand him breathlessly.

"I think it's funny how people say, 'you know you can talk to me right?' It truly makes the other person feel like a burden. Shouldn't it be natural."

Even if it's meant to be a question you have known Dazai long enough to know that it a statement. A rhetorical question if anything.

"That's what you are saying though. Dazai, I know. But we both know it is always much easier said than done."

"As long as you know, darling."

"I trust you to know the same, Osamu."

• Before meeting Dazai you were not aware how ridiculous the feeling of bandages rubbing against your face would feel. Especially after they have been wet with tears.

"Do you feel better, love?"

You huff while sniffling then managing a dry laugh through your stuttering ribcage.

"You know I don't."

"And you know what I mean."

".. A little but I feel worse as well."

"That's how these things go I'm afraid."

You also find that you don't mind when his bandaged fingers sift through your hand. They lull you to sleep at times which is something your body is always craving aside from the warmth from another human being.

• Afternoons that slowly meld into nights and early mornings lying on Dazai's chest become more and more frequent. You navigate yourself around his messy apartment. Clothes, broken glass, suicide pamphlets, prose, and poetry strewn left and right. In due time you have several sets of clothes to change into on his dresser. A toothbrush in his stainless steel cup that he keeps on his sink. And a collection of socks decorated with kittens that he has gifted to you.

• With your permission while he lies on his back, head hanging off the bed, he will recite poetry. It brings a small smile to your face when he stutters and clears his throat repeatedly while reading the more romantic works.

Slowly his apartment is cleaned up by you. Glass is swept up and properly disposed of. Books are tucked away in his bedside drawers. Clothes are cleaned then stuffed away because folding clothes helps neither of you. The refrigerator is stocked with fresh fruit and vegetables just in case either of you would like to cook.

• Eating with Dazai is, in one word, engaging. You have never minded but to this day it amuses you to see a man play with his food the way he does.

"Look it's drowning. Oh no, save him!"

"Mm, maybe he wants to join our club huh?"

"Oh! You're right, how careless of me."

And so you watch inquisitively, as you hold your head in your palms, while Dazai tries to revive a grain of rice dipped in green tea.

• Walks in the evening while the warmth of the atmosphere Dazai sets around you feels almost euphoric. Reluctantly you will accept his trenchcoat as the wind whips violently against your body. It smells like him which happens to make you feel rather happy. Though you feel a little bad as the back end does drag along the floor despite your best intentions of holding the fabric between your fingers.

• Dazai is not too fond of tea or water. But will give in if you hold your own dehydration over his head. With a very evidentiary petulance in his actions the bottle is gulped down in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you darling."

"Oh, of course. Anything for you, my sweet." The menace in his voice dripping hot and fast like fresh blood on a blade.

[tender-rosiey]

Hey there again! May I get some Kunikida headcanons. They can be romantic or non romantic idc :))) also do you have any favorite characters from any anime? I wanna start requesting characters you like to write for bc as a writer I love writing for characters I love!

❥ Kunikida Dating Headcanons

ᴀ/ɴ: We love us an independent and organized man uwu; as for the favorite characters 👀 Oikawa from HQ, Bakugou from MHA, Dazai from BSD; my three main men 😔✊🏻 And thank you for your consideration ❣️ANYWAYS LETS GET STARTED-

✍︎︎ His glasses are yours and he thinks you look absolutely adorable in them 🙈

✍︎︎ Low-key loves when you play with his hair

✍︎︎ Sometimes he would be THAT needy and just go and sit beside you then put your hand on his head gently while silently asking with his eyes for you to play with his hair

✍︎︎ He might seem all serious at the times but with you he is so soft like aw

✍︎︎ This relationship is based of a lot of understanding and consideration

✍︎︎ Bby would never want to hurt anyone let alone the love of his life

✍︎︎ You help him calm down when Dazai gets on his nerves too much-

✍︎︎ You stop his thick ass from overworking himself as well

(Nice Booty Kida)

✍︎︎ He really appreciates what you do to him

✍︎︎ His love language is Acts of Service

✍︎︎ Kunikida believes firmly that nothing can surpass the actions that show his love and gratitude towards you

✍︎︎ L O V E S kissing the top of your head no matter what’s your height

✍︎︎ Isn’t that much of a fan for PDA but trust me when I tell you that behind closed doors he is an affectionate monster

✍︎︎ Wether it would be making tea/coffee/your favorite drink for the both of you

✍︎︎ Or him organizing your tasks so you have an easier time going through them

✍︎︎ Most of the times people write that at the start of a relationship he would have a problem with physical touch as in being a little awkward with it

✍︎︎ WELL I DISAGREE CAUSE I, ROSE, BELIEVE FIRMLY THAT THIS MAN GIVES THE BEST HUGS

✍︎︎ AYO dont you see how he treats the children gently? Or how he held Aya?

✍︎︎ Comforting touch is one of his positive traits I assure you

✍︎︎ Loves being big spoon cause he feels like he can protect you like that more

✍︎︎ Would give away his life for you 🥺

✍︎︎ If you kiss his hand or fingertips you will summon a stuttering and blushing mess of a Kunikida

✍︎︎ Would hold your hand in public so everyone knows you guys are together 💃🏻

✍︎︎ Literally bitch slaps Dazai if he flirts with you 🤡

Dazai: “Hey Y/N lookin’ great-“

Kunikda: *literally threw him across the room*

Kunikida: GET YOUR SUICIDAL ASS BACK TO WORK

✍︎︎ Your dates are usually calm, quiet and loving

✍︎︎ A picnic, cafe date some of that sort

✍︎︎ Also I can really see Kunikida being the type of guy to get you a jar with all the reasons to why he loves you so much 🥺

✍︎︎ He once sent you a really cute letter and it made you tear up

“My love is forever yours. Come rain and sunshine, I will treat you like a diamond and will never let you stay a mile from me. Even if you are far away from me, you will never leave my heart even for a second. My love for you will blossom until my dying days because I have felt purpose and I want to show you my love.

While I might not have the most tantalizing words at my disposal to express my love to you in person, I will manage these three words (I love you) to let you know that my world revolves around you all year round. Knowing you are with me makes my life a dream come true.

I remember the first time I saw you. I knew I wanted to be with you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I couldn’t stop looking at you, your eyes, your smile – you stole my heart the first moment you spoke. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I met you.

Remembering our first kiss is remembering since when my heart beats for you. When we first held hands, our souls became one. Seeing you is feeling everything is fine. My love, I share all my feelings with you.

And to this day, I can’t believe you chose me to be with you. You’re everything I want as a partner and you’re mine. Don’t think for a minute that I don’t appreciate everything you do for us. You’re everything to me and I love you.

-Your Lover Kunikida Doppo”

✍︎︎ At the end I can proudly say

✍︎︎ Kunikida Doppo is absolutely whipped for you but will be a little tsundere about it ❤︎

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported