#I DON'T WANT TO KILL ISOBEL

[awesomechocolatesauce]

Unpopular opinion:

I completely understand why people love playing as the Dark Urge origin so much, but after I finish my current run of it, I doubt I'll play it again. Don't get me wrong, it's really interesting, but it feels too... horror movie-esque for me. The creepy narration, while funny at times, is pretty off putting. Also, words cannot express how much I don't like that butler.

I don't know. Maybe my mind will change once I actually finish that run, but we'll see.

[natjennie]

every time I so much as think about gale and mystra my heart breaks into even tinier little pieces like. I highly doubt it, given she's a god, but I hope the game lets me kill her. the rage that burns in me as a player. playing a video game. it's unimaginable. I personally want to make that bitch bones in the astral so bad.

[crossdressingdeath]

I think this has come up before but I don't remember the answer. If you talk to Isobel, don't kill her, get the scene with your lover and then kill Isobel later do you still get the Slayer form?

[administer-distractions]

.

[cheerysmores]

My wife once told me she would never play Baldur's Gate 3 because 'it's that slut game.' One year later she finally caved and did her very first playthrough.

May I present: Mrs. Cheery's chaotic gremlin adventure to Baldur's Gate.

Act 1

Our hero is the drow fighter, Lady Coolio. To this day we do not know whether Lady is her name or her title. She has a big sword, big tits and one goal: get to The Baldur's Gate with no distractions.

Escaped the 'Meat Bus' (Nautaloid). "Right how close am I to Baldur's gate? Like three hours?"

Sold her camp clothes by accident and was very sad that all she had to run around in was a grey hobo sack. (No mods. Sorry wife)

Asked if Withers was Solas's Dad.

Lady Coolio calls Astarion rat boy. In Wifey's words “he told me ‘when I was a little lad Cazador made me eat rats.’”

To be fair she isn't great with names so Halsin = Hoisin Sauce, Lae'zel = onion lady, Volo = Volvo, Cazador = Calzone (sometimes)

In camp: Gale "I'd like to show you something rather magical". Lady Coolio: "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR MAGIC PENIS"

��There are so many dead bodies everywhere this entire place has got to stink” (just act 1 generally)

Act 2

Ran into the shadow cursed lands very under levelled and Last Light inn instantly got sacked. Bad news as she was romancing Karlach and now can’t get her second upgrade. Lady Coolio firmly blames Isobel for "triggering like three opportunity attacks when she could have... not done that."

Died to the shadow curse a LOT. Her: “Why is everyone dying????” Me: “Remember the moon lantern?” Her: “The what?” Me: “… that thing with the swearing pixie in it” Her: “ I still have to use that????” Me: “ yes, because Isobel is dead” Her: "WHY IS SHE STILL CAUSING PROBLEMS."

Hates the Gauntlet of Shar. Asked Shadowheart, “Is Shar the only goddess with an Olympic qualifier to join her religion?”

And now a series of comments on the Dead 3's chosen: “so the bad guys are evil undead Santa, Lady Gaga and the ugliest man I’ve ever seen?”)” “Is Gale… horny for that crown??” “Maybe Myrkul would be more threatening if he wasn’t standing in an giant toilet and not moving”

On discovering the Emperor) “wait my fairy god mother is a SQUID??? oh :( ”

She did however become half illithid but hated that she ended up with varicose veins on her boobs.

Gale and Astarion then graduated to “those weak pudding men” because they kept getting stuck halfway across the map by missing jumps. Act 3

Said “Brexit means Brexit” every time she met someone who was complaining about the refugees.

Went to see Raphael at Sharess's Caress. Didn’t sign his contract “ I trust neither Lord Farquad nor squid man but I’m not selling my soul to someone who has such bad vibes.”

At Gortash's coronation. "I thought he was popular? Like seven people turned up to watch it. Is it because he's really ugly and smells like Lynx (Axe) body spray?"

She wanted to eat Orin's outfit because it looks like delicious bacon.

Walking around the city: "so where do I go??" "Anywhere you like." "I hate this."

She would not stop stealing things. I think she murdered the entire battalion of flaming fist in the lower city because "a lady's gotta eat." She also killed everyone in sorcerer’s sundries including Rolan.

Had the prototypical stress aneurysm while doing the iron throne but somehow managed to get ALL the hostages out.

Lae’zel was kidnapped by Orin for 9 in game days . When I asked about this she said “FINDING CLOWN MEAT IS MORE IMPORTANT.”

“Why does every door here lead to the sewer????? And why are there so many live mines in the sewer??”

(in the basement of the elfsong) “soo because the Emperor has a shitty basement I’m supposed to be best friend with him now? This soup recipe does not make me trust you squid man”

Halsin “nature used all its powers when crafting you” Wife “well it also crafted bacon lady (Orin) so swings and roundabouts”

Astarion stayed a spawn and she convinced Gale not to use the crown. “No one is becoming ultimate bitch on my watch”

Despite her distrust of the Emperor she still allied with him in the final fight. Because, and I quote, "Lady Coolio's goal is to stop the Absolute. The Emperor has the same goal. I don't know when I became everyone's therapist and in charge of them making better choices but I'm putting my foot down at replacing dehydrated onion queen with baldy prince king over here. The Gith's religion is not my problem."

In her canon Lady Coolio and the Emperor high fived when they won.

85 hours later and Lady Coolio is the hero of Baldur's Gate. Please enjoy this picture of our heroine.

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.

Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!

Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.

Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.

You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).

Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.

I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!

BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.

I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.

I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.

Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.

I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.

He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.

I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)

What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!

He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.

Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.

Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳

If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.

With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.

Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.

That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.

That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.

He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!

I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.

Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.

And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.

Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.

[theeoriginals]

Idea: Reader is part of the scooby gang (an adult doing them a favour or something - pls not a teenager it makes me cringe) and Klaus catches her staring (because obviously) and is cocky and flirty and likes riling her up

i just like you | klaus mikaelson

author's note; this was so fun omfg i love him sm

warnings: honestly sort of grumpyxsunshine but somehow klaus is the sunshine here ? teasing, taunting, klaus is a flirty menace, reader is super in denial, implied that reader is a vampire hunter but it's not really important, also this exists in some sort of strange canon universe so don't read into it too much, fluff, making out, a steamy-ish scene at the end, but it doesn't get too graphic so don't worry! no use of y/n!

She doesn’t like owing people favors. She doesn’t like when other people owe her favors, either, but people seem to think that trading things off is the best way to live, and she’s hardly got the power to change something so universally accepted. 

She doesn’t like owing people favors, but in this case, it’s not something she can renegotiate. Alaric saved her life, and the least she could do is help him out with something. 

Her view on that changes very quickly when he looks at her and tells her they want her to make a deal with the devil. In fact, she’d rather Alaric had just let her die than ask her to do anything with or for Klaus Mikaelson. 

“I would quite literally rather die than do that, Ric,” She deadpans, givin him a completely unamused look that makes him grimace. 

“No, I know, I know,” He holds his hands up, a desperation to his pleading tone. “It’s a lot to ask of you, but no one else can deal with him like you do. They’d end up dead, or something,” 

“Why do you think I can deal with him any differently than you, or Damon, or something? I hate him just as much!” 

“Oh, well, that’s just not very nice of you, darling,” The man in question drawls, smirk audible in his voice as they look over to where he’s sitting on Alaric’s couch, looking like he practically lives there. She supposes he technically did, for a minute. “Hate is such a strong word.” 

She gives him a saccharine smile, tilting her head. “I’m so sorry, Klaus, did I hurt your feelings? I didn’t know that evil hybrids who kill anyone who breathes wrong could have feelings.” 

Klaus’s smirk only widens at her visible ire, and he props his chin up on his hand as he looks at her. “I have every feeling for you, sweetheart,” 

Her eyes momentarily widen to the size of dinner plates, and then she quickly schools her expression back into a flat glare, snapping her gaze away from him as she huffs unhappily. “You want me to deal with that all day, Alaric? By myself? I thought we were friends,” 

“We are friends,” He stresses, shooting Klaus a warning look that the Original dutifully ignores. “That’s why I’m asking you to do this. All you have to do is make the drive up to Whitmore and get the rest of Isobel’s stuff– we need to see if she has any information on the cure, or anything like that.” 

“Doesn’t Bonnie have that professor guy that was telling her a bunch of stuff? Can’t we just go to him?” 

“Damon doesn’t trust that guy,” Alaric says. “And before you ask, no, you can’t make Damon go. He and Klaus will kill each other if they’re in the same vehicle for that long.” 

“He’s right about that,” Klaus says, still happily in his place on the couch. “Damon’s got such a temper these days. Can’t even handle a joke anymore.” 

She scrunches her face up, giving him an incredulous look. “The only jokes you make are about the time you tried to kill Elena,” 

“How would we cope if we couldn’t make jokes about these sorts of things?” 

Her incredulity only deepens and she drags her gaze back to Alaric pointedly, earning an exhausted sigh from the teacher. “Klaus,” He starts, that same desperation still in his voice. “Can we all just play nice? For once we have something to be united about– could you possibly not jeopardize everyone’s lives again?” 

Klaus heaves a sigh, standing from the couch in a swift movement and crossing the short distance to where they stand. “Certainly. I’m nothing if not professional, you know this.” 

“Uh huh,” Alaric deadpans. “Can you be… professional enough to not provoke her into leaving you stranded somewhere, or something?” 

“I’m sure we can work something out,” The hybrid drops his gaze to hers, bright eyes alight with mischief. “So long as she stops pouting.” 

She huffs, dutifully not pouting. Narrowing her eyes, she offers a hand out to him, ignoring the amusement that sparks in his eyes at her formalness. “It’s for the greater good of all of us, right? I’m sure I can suffer through anything for that.” 

Klaus shakes her hand firmly, and she ignores the way it feels like he’s laughing at her. “I’m sure you can.” 

────── 

“I take it all back, I’m going to murder him, and then myself.” 

“Hello to you, too. I take it it’s going well?” Alaric’s voice comes through the speaker of her phone as she walks beside Klaus, ignoring the crowds of college students they’re pushing their way past to head to Isobel’s old office. 

“Oh, it’s going so well, besides the fact that our vehicle just broke down as soon as we got to Whitmore.” 

She can practically hear Alaric’s wince of sympathy through the phone. “Can’t Klaus just compel you another vehicle?” 

“You would think so, but I already tried that, and he said it wouldn’t be very cooperative of him to take advantage of people. He’s apparently all for the teamwork these days,” She shoots him a glare, face twisting into one of disdain when all he does is give her a wide smirk. “Alaric, I cannot be stranded here with him. It was one thing if it was a few hours, but I cannot survive any longer than that.” 

Alaric breathes out her name on an exasperated sigh, and she tries to ignore the slight pin prick of guilt that stabs at her because of it. “Have you called a mechanic or anything?” 

She bites the tip of her tongue roughly. “Yeah. They’re coming to tow it, and they said it’ll be like, tomorrow morning at the earliest before it’s done.” 

“Can you survive the night? For real? Or do you want me to drive up there and get you?” 

She nearly blurts out that she won’t survive, that he needs to come get her as soon as he leaves work, but she stops herself, eyes drifting to Klaus, who seems to be awaiting her answer as well. Sighing tiredly, she shakes her head, even though Alaric can’t see her. “I’ll be fine, I’m just being dramatic. Don’t worry about me, alright? I– Klaus and I will handle this. It’s no big deal, I promise.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m positive,” She reassures, stopping at the steps that lead to Isobel’s office building. “I’ll text you later tonight after we’ve had some time to go through some of the stuff, okay?” 

“Okay. Thank you,” He sounds infinitely less stressed at her reassurances, and the guilt she’d been feeling dissipates easily. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

She echoes the goodbye and quickly pockets her phone again, immediately turning to Klaus to give him a glare that she can’t even really call a glare because of the complete and utter lack of any real heat behind it. Gesturing widely to the building before them, she sighs. “Let’s get this over with.” 

The office is devoid of any lingering students, and she wonders if it was done on purpose. The only person there besides her and Klaus is the girl at the desk, and she racks her brain for the girl’s name, because Alaric had told her earlier before they left. 

“Hi,” She starts, stepping in front of Klaus slightly as they approach the desk. “Alaric called earlier and said we’d be coming up to get some of Isobel’s research, I think?” 

The girl stands, a small smile on her face as she nods. “Of course. I’m Vanessa, I was Isobel’s intern.” 

Vanessa, she internally scolds herself for not remembering, before giving her name back in return. “And this is Klaus.” 

The Original offered a charming smile, and she saw some degree of recognition flutter in Vanessa’s eyes as her smile grew wider, equally charmed and awed. “Lovely to meet you, Vanessa,” 

“You’re Klaus Mikaelson, aren’t you?” She breathes out, shaking her head in disbelief as she leads them to Isobel’s private office. “Isobel was fascinated  with the story of the Originals, but there wasn’t ever enough information to figure out what was true and what wasn’t.” 

Klaus hums, practically preening under the attention. “Such are the consequences of living as long as I have. I can hardly remember what’s real and what’s not,” 

Vanessa’s face lights up with an idea, and she steps towards Klaus excitedly. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions? It would do our research a lot of good to have something new,” 

“Oh, well–” 

“We have a lot to do,” She quickly cuts in over their voices, offering a sharp smile to Vanessa. “But if we have time later, I’m sure he’d love to give you a tell-all interview.” 

Vanessa’s smile dims slightly but she nods, gesturing for them to go into the open office. “It’s all in there. Let me know if you need my help with anything.” 

“We will definitely do that,” She says, ignoring the twitch in her fingers as pushes Klaus into the office ahead of her. “Thank you so much!” 

She shuts the door firmly behind her and lets out a sharp sigh, her eyes fluttering open where she hadn’t even realized they’d shut. She finds Klaus staring at her, and immediately looks away, ducking past him to head for one of the packed boxes in the office, collecting dust. “What?” 

Klaus makes an amused little hum in the back of his throat. “Oh, nothing,”

“There’s clearly something,” 

“There is, but I don’t think you’d enjoy hearing it from me,” 

She halts her movements, hands falling limp on the file folders sorted neatly inside one box. Turning to look at him over her shoulder, she raises a brow. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m curious as to what Vanessa did to earn your disdain,” He says, shrugging lightly, keeping his voice purposefully aloof. 

She rolls her eyes, returning to pilfering through the box, skimming the labels on the file. “She was distracting you. We came here to do something, and we need to do it. That’s all.” 

He makes that irritating noise again, and she pauses once more, this time turning to face him fully. “What? What is so funny about that? Might I remind you, we need to learn about this cure for you just as much as anyone else.” 

He smirks, picking up a box from the floor and putting it on the table in front of him. “Of course. But only if you admit you were jealous,”

She feels the blood in her veins freeze as she stares at him, and she knows there’s a dawning look of horror growing on her face. “Excuse me?” 

“Just admit that you were jealous of that poor girl in there, and I will do as much research as you want me to. It’s very simple.” 

“Jealous,” She echoes, her voice faint the longer she looks at him. “You think that I was jealous because some college kid was treating you like you were the lead singer in her favorite boy band?” 

“Maybe not her favorite boy band, but certainly her favorite Original,” He corrects, grinning deviously. 

“I wasn’t jealous!” She yells somewhat hysterically, face twisting as her pulse races. “I– I have no reason to be jealous, I would never be jealous, I’m not– I’m not jealous! Just– shut up!” 

She waves a hand in his direction, ignoring the warmth in her chest that stings like embarrassment. “Just– shut up, and– and leave me alone! Do what we came here to do,” 

Klaus holds his hands up in surrender, still smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Whatever you say,” 

────── 

They’ve booked a hotel for the night, despite the fact that she’d sooner sleep on the street than stay in a hotel with Klaus Mikaelson. But he graciously offered to pay for it, and she was determined to pretend like their conversation earlier had never happened and that meant acting like absolutely nothing was wrong. 

It meant letting him order them room service, and sitting quietly while they ate. It meant letting him tease and taunt her like he normally did, and working overtime to give him the normal reactions she would have– a glare here and there, a not-so-nice name everywhere else. 

Except now it felt like it was all wrong. It felt like she was being even more obvious than before. All because he called her out. Because he was right. 

Just out of sheer principle, she couldn’t ever tell him that. The last thing he needed was that particular ego boost, from her of all people. 

Their relationship has always been antagonistic, but Klaus has never been nearly as harsh as she has. And now that she’s spent the last six hours thinking about every single interaction they’ve ever had, she feels somewhat stupid for not even letting herself contemplate the idea that she could one day be jealous over Klaus Mikaelson. 

But even in that same vein, she understands why it never crossed her mind until he pointed it out. It was non-negotiable, having any sort of relationship like that with Klaus. She’d been friends with Alaric since he first met Isobel, she couldn’t just go and sleep with the guy who killed his girlfriend, let alone have feelings for him. 

The thought alone made her stomach swirl with guilt, but she was determined to not let Klaus in on any of her inner turmoil, considering he’d get some insane satisfaction out of the fact that it’s all his fault. 

By the time they make their way to the private bedroom in the ridiculously grand hotel room Klaus had gotten them for the night, it doesn’t really register in her mind that they not only don’t have any sort of pajamas due to the fact that this wasn’t supposed to be an overnight trip, but the only bedroom in the suite has one bed. 

It doesn’t register in her mind until she’s already in bed, resigned to the fact that she’ll be sleeping in her t-shirt and underwear, and Klaus makes his way over to the bed like it’s no big deal. 

“Hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?” 

He raises a brow at her, gesturing to the bed. “Going to bed. We’ve got an early morning ahead of us if you have any chance of making it back to Mystic Falls alive.” 

She rolls her eyes at his taunting recollection of her complaints, and she holds up a hand, keeping the blankets tucked carefully around her hips as she sits up. “Why wouldn’t you get a room with two beds?” 

“Because it’s one night, darling,” He drawls, signature smirk twitching on his lips. “But if you have some particular feeling that would make sharing a bed with me uncomfortable, then I–”

“No!” She cuts him off, feeling like she was just backed into a corner. “No issue. Just– keep your hands to yourself.” 

He winks at her, and she ignores the way it makes her heart race. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” 

She shuffles back down into the bed and turns onto her side away from him, suddenly too conscious of the fact that she doesn’t have any pants on, and that if someone had told her this morning she’d be pantsless, in bed with Klaus Mikaelson, she probably would’ve punched them and then spent the rest of her life dreaming about it. 

It’s only slightly humiliating. 

Once Klaus is settled in the bed, presumably undressed to the same degree she is if the shuffling she’d heard a minute ago was anything to go by, he turns the lamp off, encasing them in darkness. 

After too long, her hip starts to ache the longer she lays on her side, and she knows there’s no chance she’ll fall asleep with it throbbing like it is, so she resigns herself to the fact that she’s going to have to move. 

Careful of her spacial awareness, she turns onto her back, and then onto her other side, unable to stop her eyes from landing on the shadows of Klaus’s profile. 

She lets out a small breath, shakier than normal, and clutches her hand against the pillow beneath her head. 

“You’re staring,” 

She groans quietly. “I am not,” 

“You know, I don’t know if I should be honored or not that you don’t act like this with anyone else.” 

She squeezes the pillow again, brows furrowing on her forehead. Her curiosity piqued, despite her best interests. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, you’re horrifically antagonistic on a good day, and downright murderous on a bad one. But you don’t ever lose your temper with anyone else like you do with me,” He observes, voice unintentionally quiet in the privacy of the darkness. If she didn’t know any better, she’d even say it was laced with fondness. 

Pressing her face into her pillow briefly to try and collect herself, she lets her eyes trace the curve of his nose, and his prominent cupid’s bow, backlit by the moon shining in the window. She wonders what he looks like beneath a full moon. She wonders if his eyes shine that burning yellow-gold color the entire night. 

“You do it on purpose,” She mutters, trying to keep her tone from sounding as childish as it does in her head. “I’m not stupid, Klaus. You like riling me up.” 

She hears more than sees his head turn towards her, but she feels the burn of his eyes on her face like the summer sun. 

“Did you ever consider that I just like when you talk to me?” He asks, sounding entirely more vulnerable than she ever thought he was capable of being. 

Her breath stutters on an exhale, and she knows he can hear the way his words make her entire body trip up. Despite being unable to truly meet his eyes in the dark, she searches for them anyway, seeking out the truth that may lie in them. 

He murmurs her name, soft and sweet between the sheets wrapped around them, and she can’t stop herself from pushing forward into his space, draping herself across his chest as she presses their lips together. 

She’s instantly satisfied to hear the shocked noise that spills from his lips, but it’s the last coherent thought she can form once he mirrors her utter desperation. 

He steals the breath from her lungs, barely letting her gasp between his greedy kisses, his hands pulling her further into him, leaving her practically on top of him. 

His hands slide up the fabric of her shirt, grabbing at the bare skin there, groaning at the feel of her moving beneath his touch. 

“Klaus,” She gasps out, panting at the spit-slick sounds of their lips together in the quiet of the hotel room. “Klaus, I have to–” 

She forcibly pulls herself away from him, unable to even blame him for the way she let herself get so caught up as she catches her breath, looking down from where she’s propped above him. 

They fall silent, matching each other’s frantic but slowing breaths as their spilled-over tension finally seems to simmer out. 

A huff of a laugh comes from beneath her and she frowns slightly, looking at him. “What?” 

His hands clench where they’re still gripping her waist, and she visibly shivers at the rough touch. ���You were jealous, weren’t you?” 

She instinctively slaps a hand against his bare shoulder, wondering how she hadn’t noticed he’d taken his shirt off when he got into bed. “You are such a dick,” She shakes her head, but she’s already leaning back in to kiss him again despite herself. 

Klaus is quick to meet her halfway, craning his neck up to kiss her again, and she lets out a sudden yelp as he flips them around, pressing her into the mattress beneath him. “Let me make it up to you,” 

She’s nodding before he even finishes speaking, and she thinks, tells herself, that she can’t be faulted for how quickly she forgives him after that.

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

You know what I love? Flavour text on my items!

So here's some BG3 flavour text I found for Aylin's, Isobel's, and Ketheric's items, many of which are not lootable in-game - and some of which the characters themselves aren't seen wearing. I've had this lying around for a while, but now the toolset has given me a simple way to pluck out some neat "loot" visuals to go with the words. I'm going to list their names as they appear in the files, as well as include the non-unique descriptions some of them have (when they simply inherited from the template of another item of an appropriate type).

Aylin

Nightsong's Armour

Nightsong's armour is evocative of her personality - prickly, hardy, and about as agreeable as a clenched fist.

Nightsong Helmet

The Dame's resentment and anger toward Ketheric cannot be overstated. Still, her dreams rove sweeter corners, beyond the cruel hardwood floors of vengeance, the rooms of pain and discipline. Hers is a complex house, a house of the heart.

Nightsong Boots

Scratched in places, scorched in others, and worn thin at the heel, these boots bear the indelible marks of experience. (Metallic Boots default text)

Nightsong Gloves

Made from steel hammered thin, these gauntlets are a fine investment for any warrior. (Metallic Gloves default text)

Isobel

Moon Devotion Robe

A memory from her childhood: a warm bed. Through the cracked window, she could see the moonlight cupping the plums in the tree as if in silver hands. The name of the goddess Selûne came to her, and never left.

Isobel's Boots

Isobel's boots are haphazardly repaired, and have a humble snug fit for the wearer, snug as strong faith in the chest of a religious devotee.

Jhannyl's Gloves

(Left image is Isobel's actual visible gloves which don't have a "loot" equivalent, right is the visual for the ones that she actually has in her inventory)

Divine runes accentuate the finger pads. While not a religious sect, the Harpers do not demand the occlusion of religion in their members.

Isobel Headwear

She prayed for words and received silence. She prayed for intimacy and slept alone. She prayed for fruit and ate charcoal. She prayed for death and wanted to live. Then she grew older, and received things she'd wanted. Still she prayed.

Isobel's Circlet

Provides its wearer a touch of elegance but no additional protection. (Circlet default text)

Ketheric

Reaper's Embrace

Heavy steel bones and teeth enclose the armour's chest and neck like a grotesque exoskeleton that both swallows and protects the wearer.

Ketheric Circlet

Grants the wearer an austere presence, but no magical benefit. (Circlet default text)

Ketheric Circlet B

In his youth, Ketheric Thorm has the same puzzled, ever-curious brow belonging to any kid. Lamentable, that the brow this circlet adorned warped with tragedy and a sick determination over time.

Ketheric's Boots

Scratched in places, scorched in others, and worn thin at the heel, these boots bear the indelible marks of experience. (Metallic Boots default text)

Ketheric's Gloves

Not linked to any description and no "loot" visual I could find, but they're neat and have more little skeletons on them, so here they are.

Ketheric Cloak

Woven of heavy wool, this cloak is solid of make if somewhat stiff to wear. (Cloak default text)

Ketheric's Shield

In the theatre of dreams, Ketheric killed his wife every night. That wasn't how things happened... but always upon waking, he would glare into the dark, long-faced and solemn, and he would think: 'I keep you alive with my memories, beloved. I kill you with what I've become.'

Ketheric's Warhammer

This hammer's weight is centred on enchanted obsidian at the base of the head. Some nights before bed, Ketheric would sneak a whey-faced glance at the hammer, and think about the stone, and wonder what unknown facet of his heart bore his weight.

[autistichalsin]

So here's a hot take.

I see a lot of people saying that it would be fun to have a way to make Halsin worse. And I agree that it would totally be cool to be able to corrupt Halsin!

However, I don't think his canon arc would make the most sense leading to the Shadow Druids. Those are the tiny hints Larian dropped, yeah- the Shadow Druids being sent by Ketheric to corrupt the Grove to make them less of a threat against him, the Shadow Druids noting they are going to Baldur's Gate next, Halsin's brief moment of doubt that they were right. And a lot of other media love playing the ecoterrorist angle. So I can see why it's where a lot of people's minds go.

But from a characterization standpoint, I can't see it. Halsin dealt with the Shadow Curse for over 100 years. It cursed his home, and his childhood best friend who was the physical embodiment of nature. If he survived literally 100 years of darkness without being particularly moved to join the Shadow Druids, I just don't see how the sufferings of Baldur's Gate would push him into it. Those are much less personal stakes.

So, if we were to get a darker Halsin route, I would propose one of two things;

1. Introduce a failure state for act 2 that doesn't result in Halsin staying behind in the Shadowlands.

The easiest thought is that maybe doing part of the quest but not finishing it would result in him staying behind, seeing that there is hope to break it now, while doing nothing makes him think he's no closer to solving it than he was before, so things are unlikely to deteriorate while he goes with the player to solve the Absolute crisis.

Or if we wanted to make it REALLY awful, make it possible for Thaniel and/or Oliver to actually die, breaking Halsin's heart completely in the process. With his friend gone for good, his last hope gone, and with the Dead Three to blame directly, Halsin could become clouded by grief. Maybe it makes his story mirror Ketheric's in a sad way; Ketheric lost Isobel and became a monster, Halsin loses Thaniel and, while not becoming a monster per se, takes a darker, extremist path to avenging him, vowing to let nature reclaim Baldur's Gate in his memory.

Basically, what I'm getting at here is that there's nothing personal enough in Baldur's Gate proper to inspire such a radical shift. Canon, as it is, lets us see his momentary temptation and go "yeah makes sense" but there needed to be far more if I was going to buy his transformation to a Shadow Druid. This would provide that deep pain that cults are so good at preying on.

2. Similar to the above, but pushing it back to act 1. Make it so that the Grove raid, instead of being triggered by the player directly, can also be triggered by inaction; maybe once the player speaks to Minthara/frees Sazza, a timer starts for long rests, and at the conclusion, if the leaders aren't killed, the goblin leaders show up at the Grove. Halsin being freed already lets him fight on your side to stop them, while Halsin still being a captive lets the raid complete.

Similar to the above, Halsin's rage and grief at the defilement of nature then drives him into it. At first he just seeks out revenge, but later, after seeing the Shadow Curse and having those particular wounds opened back up (this one could proceed the same as canon) he gets pushed into something more methodical.

Shadow Druid Halsin could be a lot of fun IMO, but we would need something more than we have to establish a motive. Seeing sadness in a city for the first time wouldn't be enough to cause Halsin to drop every principle he has about nature being a balancing act between good and evil, darkness and light, order and chaos. For him to be pushed so firmly to an anti-society view, he would need to witness something far worse. So those are the two scenarios I can think of that would give just the little push, the sense of personal, direct harm, that would cause Halsin's morals to shift so drastically.

[trappedinafantasy37]

🔥

We should have gotten Kagha and not Halsin as the druid companion from Act 1. In the short time that she is in the game, Kagha is a far more interesting character than Halsin is. She is also someone who can either be made better or made worse and would balance out the number of companions with malleable alignments. Kagha would also be a fantastic character who would constantly challenge and question the player character's decisions as she already does this while in the grove.

I'm not saying Halsin shouldn't be in the game, I'm just saying Halsin is wasted potential being a companion and would have better served as an NPC. Especially since his entire storyline involving Isobel was cut which was a massive L on Larian's part.

In fact, I truly think that if Kagha was a companion, her helping Halsin in Act 2 with the Shadow Curse would serve as a fantastic moment for her to truly atone for her actions in the grove. I also think it would be pretty neat to see how Kagha would have reacted to Arabella now having new magic thanks to her proximity to the idol of Silvanus. I think it would be fascinating to see how she'd interact with all the tieflings in Act 2 and 3. I sometimes try to tell myself that Minthara has no reactions with them cause the tieflings don't actually know it was her specifically who was trying to raid the grove and she doesn't know any of them. But the tieflings and Kagha do know each other and they all know what Kagha tried to do. Her entire redemption arc could be saving the tieflings at every avenue, cause they always need to be saved!

And, my god, don't even get me started on the interactions between Kagha and Minthara. You would end up having two companions who wanted to kill the tieflings, but for vastly different reasons, and neither of them having any remorse for it! I would love to watch how that conversation would play out between the both of them. Especially since Kagha already has a pretty positive opinion of drow and their methods. She would probably be the least judgemental of Minthara and would be the most accepting of who she is. I can genuinely see Kagha and Minthara becoming really close friends and that would be very concerning.

Dammit, now I'm over here brainstorming exactly how Kagha as a companion would actually work on a technical level depending on the choices you make in the grove...

Also, I really want to kiss Kagha.

[waffelteufel]

Random Dark Urge stuff that blew my mind because it's so fun (and terrifying) [SPOILERS BELOW]

The Alfira scene came totally unexpected and I was literally sitting there with my mouth agape because I was so used to how cute EA had been

Those moments where the Urge gets to you and your character just suddenly goes >:) like a little evil shit

Those random over the top dialogue options

The way you can literally tell your companions from the start that you are a bit cray cray but they're all just "Ah don't worry about it we're literally killing people every day now. We're all a little evil right now :) Just put in that energy when we need it :)" and when you get to That Scene (tm) with your Love Interest in act 2 they suddenly go "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" I DID!!! I DID TELL YOU SFHFSF

THAT SCENE IN ACT2 WITH YOUR LOVE INTEREST... That you can just murder them there?? And you have to roll against yourself? So good

The fact you can try to fucking bite them and sob uncontrollably?? Cinnamon Topography as they say.

You were besties with Gortash!! "I can tolerate Orin. But I liked you". Hello??? I want to be besties with him again???? Gorty let's become Team Rocket please.

Gortash saying that he missed your dark humour or something of the like.

Orin and Durge's rivarly. Slaughter-Kin. Queen...

That lady at the end of act 2 that did horrifying experiments on you and became obsessed?? It was sooo uncomfortable but like in a masochistic way. Fucked up and amazing.

Finding your pod in that mindflayer place and asking Astarion "Humour me Astarion. What does that blood smell like?" "[SNIFF SNIFF] Oh that's you. I can recognize that everywhere lol"

The way Astarion's and your own personal quest mirror each other in a way.

Those dialogue options after you refused to kill Isobel, Nightsong and your Love Interest where it sounds like you are some evil puppy trying to atone for your sins to the most random people, like the freaking circus guy, and going like "I used to be a crazy murderous maniac but I am trying to change my ways <3"

If you get Heal cast on yourself (that high level spell that gives you like 70 HP) you get a mini cutscene in which Durge's mind "knits back together" for a moment and you remember a scene from your childhood. This was so unexpected, I did NOT expect a random spell to trigger story and I loved that.

Realising that you were involved in stealing the Crown from Mephistopheles vault, and that you've been to the Nine Hells before. Finding this out only a little bit after Raphael bitched to you about that lmao.

The fact you're literally playing one of the main bad guys, but with amnesia, and you realise this only in act 3.

[y-rhywbeth2]

I have been thinking on the prayer for forgiveness that broke us all, and an alternate interpretation of Durge's self-flagellation came to me - it may have more to do with Durge's desperation for Bhaal's approval (and fear of his disapproval) than Bhaal actually giving much of a damn.

While Bhaal doesn't necessarily like the fact that his property is "admiring" one of his old frenemy's pawns, I don't know that he's that emotionally invested either. Durge is encouraged to take lovers (no matter if you get the bad bad ending or the good bad ending, Durge's "duty" involves making more Bhaalspawn, and biology isn't an obstacle). Durge is also permitted to gild their cage, it seems. You're only forced to kill your lover as a punishment, Bhaal doesn't like your stupid mushy feelings or any of your friends, but he's happy to have something to hold over their head. If Durge has things they want and love, Bhaal has things to threaten and break if they struggle against the leash.

Canonically Bhaal "encouraged the pursuit of personal wealth and hobbies" amongst his followers, as long as they don't put their desires before his and it doesn't interfere with their obligations to him. If you fuck around for too long without making the decision to spare/kill Isobel, Sceleritas drops in with "It is rather loathly of Sceleritas to disrupt your romp, but I cannot allow the Master to forget duty, and keep carousing like this." So Durge is allowed to go "carousing", technically.

Even when you meet Gortash, unlike Orin (who you get a whole vision directing you to kill) and with Ketheric (who has the Urge hissing and spitting venom), the Urge is rather quiet. The only opinion Bhaal has on this is the reminder that there will be no ruling the world with Gortash because that would conflict with his plans for you.

It's entirely possible that Bhaal really doesn't care enough about Durge as long as they're doing what they're supposed to, and is either wholly indifferent or at worst merely irritated by the concept of durgetash. Meanwhile the possibility of their father's disapproval or the slightest hint of it is enough to turn Durge into a nervous wreck. So they overcompensate; they're in a state of penitence every night - they're good, they're loyal, they're obedient, they put Father first above all things. Please don't hurt me. Please don't take away the things I love yet. Please still love me.

[shadow-fell]

On Moonrise Towers, the Thorm Family, and the Shadow Curse

Once another compilation so that I don't need to go constantly digging for things. A general timeline of events:

Reithwin town founded by the Thorm family

Moonrise Towers constructed

Melodia Thorm dies

Isobel Thorm dies

Ketheric turns to Shar

Gauntlet of Shar constructed/rebuilt; Reithwin turns to Sharran worship

Nightsong is captured by Ketheric and Balthazar

Flaming Fist sends Art Cullagh to investigate Ketheric

Harpers, Druids, and Flaming Fist team up to fight Ketheric

Mason who built Moonrise Towers + the Gauntlet of Shar makes a deal with Raphael; Yurgir kills all the Sharrans in the Gauntlet/Grymforge save one

Ketheric is killed, Shadow Curse released

Survivors of the battle flee

Ketheric resurrects, turns to Myrkul

Gortash and the Dark Urge bring Ketheric in on the Absolute plan

Ketheric resurrects Isobel (maybe before ^ but probably after)

Isobel flees to the Last Light Inn

Now, expanding on the details, sources, and adding some firmer dates? that's all going below the cut.

Construction of Moonrise Towers

The first, and as far as I know only reference to Moonrise Towers outside of BG3 is in the Code of the Harpers, where it is described as the base of the Crescent Coat, officer of the High Heralds (a group spinning out of the Harpers, referenced by Halsin in game), in 1368.

So, we know when it must be established by - but how much earlier can we go? Pretty far given that the Thorms are elven/half-elven.

Our best boundary is that we know Balduran visited Moonrise Towers before becoming an Illithid. His initial departure from Baldur's Gate and shipwreck happened around 1050 DR, at 300 years before BG1/2, so he has to come to Moonrise Towers sometime after that. FR Wiki states this is ~1150 or later, but I don't know where they're getting that from? I think that's a reasonable timeframe, though.

We know the same architect built Moonrise as the Gauntlet of Shar (from talking to him in the House of Hope), but there's no record of what race he was (only meeting him as a skeleton), and if an elf could easily still be working a few centuries after the construction.

Ketheric is a half-elf for sure, though, but he is an old one. How old exactly is hard to say. 3rd edition gave "old" at 93, with a maximum age of 130-190, while 5e just says "often exceeding 180 years". If we take that he looks the way he did in ~1370 as his death, that places his birth at a minimum of ~1170, but probably later, and the construction of Moonrise Towers ~1200 at the earliest, which is maybe a bit long for Balduran but not unreasonably so.

The other thing of note is that Moonrise Towers has a 'sister' in the Sunrise Spire, a Lathanderian Monastery destroyed in 1177 during a territorial war. Combined with the (undated) fall of Rosymorn Monastery, there is perhaps something interesting about the regional shift from Lathander to Selune, and the construction happening after the destruction further supports a date around ~1200.

Personally, I'd want to push things earlier rather than later - it wouldn't be difficult to say that Ketheric is more elven than human, pushing his age a bit further out, so somewhere between 1180-1200 fits the sweet spot. But really, all we have for sure is "before 1368"

Melodia and the Thorm Family

Melodia Thorm is a human worshipper of Selune, who married Ketheric Thorm and converted him to her worship. They had a daughter, Isobel, who was young when Melodia died (or, at least, Melodia still called her their little girl).

Ketheric is a half-elf; every other member of the Thorm family is an elf - Malus, Gerringothe, and Thisobald all have the longer ears (although the hood makes this less clear on Thisobald).

Malus refers to (presumably) Ketheric as his nephew, making him the only certain branch of the family tree. Gerringothe, we have no idea where she fits in, although as a full elf, we can assume no one is Ketheric's siblings, only parents/aunts/uncles/cousins/more distant relatives.

Thisobald...is complicated. He calls Ketheric father, however, the phrasing is ambiguous (capitalized in a religious sense) in addition to the lack of reference to him in accounts of Melodia/Isobel, and the fact he appears to be fully elven. The two possibilities is that Thisobald and Isobel are half-siblings, with Thisobald's other parent being a full elf, and this being the source of disconnect between him and Ketheric, or that Father is not literal and he is related to Ketheric another way.

We know that Malus Thorm was alive in 986, where he recorded battle casualties from a Dark Justiciar/Selunite/Druid conflict. Given that only the Dark Justiciars are named, it seems likely he was a Sharran at that time. If we take the date as legitimate and not referring to the 1370s conflict, then at least Malus worshipped Shar before Reithwin turned to Selunite worship.

Gauntlet of Shar

Around 800 years before Ketheric Thorm's turn, Grymforge was a city of Shar worshippers. He attempted to revitalize it - creating or rebuilding the Gauntlet of Shar in the process.

And, yes, these two are connected - you can see the entrance to the Gauntlet from one of the points in the lava and through the hall where Nere is trapped. There is a further section not accessible seen from where the Mimic fight is, mainly what appear to be another set of docks.

While we're told the Mason constructed the Gauntlet, given that Shadowheart has heard legends of it, the more likely option seems to be it was rebuilt, since it's quite a large place to construct in only a handful of years. Especially if Malus was a Sharran in 986, it would explain the presence of Shar worshippers before Ketheric's turn.

So, we have the initial Dark Justiciar trials around 600 DR, followed by a decline (with the Gauntlet perhaps lasting past the fall of the city, hidden under Reithwin) enough to establish a myth that can then be built on in the 1370s.

Death of Isobel

How Isobel died is an unresolved plot point, revolving around cut content, so it's hard to call anything "canonical" but the two potential paths are as follows:

In the earliest version, she was killed by Halsin, during a meeting between her (and other Reithwin locals) and the druids, before Shar's influence (and the song of the Nightsong, potentially) drove them mad, and Halsin stabbed Isobel with Sorrow, leaving it cursed). This sparked the conflict between Ketheric and the Druid-Harper alliance.

In a later version, Balthazar killed her, framing Aylin for the deed, which led to Ketheric capturing her and trapping her in the Gauntlet of Shar. Isobel was tethered to Ketheric, and needed to be separated before he was killed

Either way, Isobel has no memory of her death upon being resurrected a century later. It happened probably ~1370, triggering the conflict. While it may have happened earlier (with Ketheric keeping his Shar worship hidden) probably not earlier than 1368.

Conflict with the Harpers

Alright, so this is where we get back into figuring out hard dates. Generally, this happened a century ago - so ~1392, but any time something is that round I always assume it's off.

Again, we know things are business as usual around 1368 because of the Heralds; this means that while Ketheric may have turned to Shar, it wasn't public. However, we do have some dates related to the conflict.

The Harpers try and fail to surrender in a letter by Khelben Arunsun - he's expelled from the Harpers in 1371, founding a splinter group, and dies in 1374. That makes 1369-1370 the most likely timing.

However, the records from Moonhaven and from the Emerald Grove push it to being a later date. Uktar 1371 is the date that the Apothecary and Apprentice arrive from Thay, the start of the Apprentice's journal, which ends with the Dark Justiciars killing him. Toth's logbook is the Apothecary's account, and has a raid in late Uktar and in Nightal; this may be the same year, but more likely later. We know there was at least one failed raid on Moonhaven before it fell completely.

Uktar 1371 we also get the Logbook from the Emerald Grove - they're dealing with far more minor problems and presumably aren't yet at war with the Dark Justiciars, which further supports the idea that the raids on Moonhaven happen in 1372 or 1373.

To account for Khelben's presence, we could assume the failed surrender is from an initial conflict in 1369-1370, that ended with the Harpers retreating, but more likely, the threat Ketheric Thorm posed was enough that the Harpers and Moonstars (Khelben's splinter group) were in alliance - after all, it wasn't a clean split and there was still a great deal of overlap, and he's still the Blackstaff.

The details of the conflict are largely uncertain. We know the Dark Justiciars destroyed Moonhaven, and presumably some other villages, and that the shadow curse claimed the region around Moonrise Towers and Reithwin.

However, we do know how it ended. The Mason made a deal with Raphael to destroy the Dark Justiciar army, which brought Yurgir to the Gauntlet, where he killed all but one (hiding as a swarm of rats). While we only see Yurgir's impact in Grymforge and the Gauntlet, presumably Raphael helped with defeating the entire army.

How Ketheric died and came to be buried in the mausoleum is unclear, but in the final moments of the battle, he cursed the lands around Moonrise Towers with the Shadow Curse, killing many of the Harpers and Druid, and lasting for well over a century, until he came to be resurrected in the name of Myrkul.

My Proposed Timeline

You've read the evidence above. This is therefore a mix of canon, reasonably makes sense in canon, and completely made up headcanon

1492 - Balthazar resurrects Isobel; she flees to the Last Light Inn

???? - Balthazar resurrects Ketheric, he becomes Myrkul's chosen

1373 - Yurgir kills Dark Justiciar Army; Ketheric dies and the Shadow Curse falls

1372 - Dark Justiciars spread out and attack local villages, destroying Moonhaven. The Emerald Grove, Harpers, Moonstars, and Flaming Fist ally together

1370 - The Nightsong is captured, used as the final test for the new Dark Justiciar army Ketheric builds

1369 - Isobel killed by [Halsin/Balthazar/???]. Ketheric completes turn to Shar, forces Reithwin to convert, has the mason begin reconstructing Grymforge

1350 - Melodia dies. Ketheric's faith begins to waver.

1340 - Isobel born

1325 - Melodia and Ketheric marry

1300 - Melodia born.

1200s - Moonrise Towers constructed; Reithwin slowly builds up prominence as a trade stop amon

1170s - Ketheric Thorm born.

1150s-1250s - young Halsin grows up in the lands around Reithwin, where he befriends Thaniel.

980s - Dark Justiciar/Druid/Harper conflict, Malus Thorm attending. Sharrans in the region go further into hiding; Reithwin is known as a Selunite enclave.

600s - Grymforge is a thriving Sharran city. Dark Justiciar trials are held within the Gauntlet of Shar.

[madwomansapologist]

i will explain myself about a few things:

I respect Khalid too much to put Jaheira where I really want to;

I fear Jaheira too much to put her lower;

Astarion is a gay man, a little bitch, and a annoying coward. I love him, I would die and kill for him, but he's not getting near my pussy;

Withers is where he deserves to be;

Yes, that's Barcus. If you don't have good taste it isn't my fault;

Gortash stinks;

I would cut my fingers for Keene if she wanted me too;

Dame Aylin and Isobel are perfect for each other, I just want to watch;

At the same time I want to be Isobel's stepmother. I can't fix Ketheric, but I can make him feel happy;

Omeluum is husband material;

Minsc is my soulmate. He understands me in a way no one can. No, I wont fuck him. We will just be empty head together forever;

I've said what I've said. Period.

[darknqlmes]

Innocent Doppelganger

Summary: Isobel Flemming and John Gilbert didn't have one baby; no, they had two. Sofia Gilbert and Elena Gilbert. But Isobel and John only wanted one daughter, so they gave Sofia to Alaric Saltzman; her new identity is Sofia Saltzman. What happens when she finds out about the supernatural world?

Paring: Niklaus Mikaelson/Sofia Stefan Salvatore/Sofia Katherine Pierce/Sofia

Sofia Saltzman was walking home from getting groceries for her and her father. Getting distracted by nature itself. Grabbing her phone from her small white purse, she looked at the time, and her eyes widen. "Oh, daises! I'm late." Putting her phone back in her purse, she picked up the pace. About five minutes of speed walking, she made it home. Sighing, she walked into the apartment buildings and climbed the stairs well to get to her floor.

She got to her floor, opened the door from inside the stairwell, and walked down the little hallway. She got to the apartment door, grabbed the keys, and unlocked the door. Opening it, she walked in and gasped in horror and fear. Blood was over the floor, in little puddles. Peaking around, she saw a man with brown hair and green eyes looking up at her in panic. "ELENA RUN!" Sofia turned around only to gasp.

A man was standing behind Sofia. He had blondish hair and blue eyes that she could stare into forever. He grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall. Gasping for air, she scratched at his hand while whimpering. "I just killed you; how are you alive?" Sofia looked at him with fear in her eyes. Then he threw her into a girl. Gasping, her hand moved to her neck to try and relive the pain, but it didn't work.

She felt a hand push her to the floor. Whimpering in fear and pain, she was feeling very confused. Who are these people, and what are they doing in her house? Looking up, she saw the man with green eyes staring at her with fear and disappointment. "W-who are y-you people?" Sofia questioned, and the man with blue eyes chuckled. "Do you really think I'm going to fall for that, Elena?" In a blink of an eye, the man was in front of Sofia. She flinched and whimpered very quietly.

When he was going to choke her again, she yelled out. "Who's Elena?!" The man stopped and stared at her, just staring at her, thinking she was trying to get out of the situation. Before he could say anything else, she spoke up. "M-my n-name is S-Sofia Saltzman; p-please d-don't h-hurt me." The man just looked at her with amusement. Then, he got up and raised his hand for her to grab. Slowly, she grabbed his hand, and he helped her up.

When standing up, he grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "What is your real name, love?" Sofia spoke in a moderate voice. "My name is Sofia Satlzman." Backing up in shock, he looked at the man with green eyes, only for him to be looking at Sofia in shock. He looked back at Sofia and smiled, then everything went black for Sofia.

[uselessgaywhovian]

so i'm on my first Durge run and resisting the urge but Sceleritas Fel is just so funny to me sometimes

he showed up in camp telling me to kill Isobel and i was like "No, I don't want to, also if I kill her then everyone in Last Light dies too" and he's just like "But Master, think about the piles of bodies that would make 🥺 You used to love piles of bodies 🥺 Maybe having some piles of bodies around would make you feel better 🥺🥺🥺"