#I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD IMPROVE IT MUCH AT ALL
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thoughts on charlie learning how to read?
As to the effect, I think we’ll have to wait to see what really comes of it, considering the very final joke of the episode is he thinks “guest” on the scoreboard says “ghost,” they definitely made a point to make it clear he’s not necessarily literate by any means beyond “enough to graduate kindergarten”
I do like what Justin and Patrick, the EPs for Abbott said about the longevity of that establishment:
In the end, it’s definitely what Sunny and Charlie Day decide to do with this canon. We know the Abbott ep was filmed before any of the episodes for Season 17 of Sunny, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that they do stick with the idea that Charlie doesn’t struggle as much with reading and writing and maybe has a little kick in him to keep practicing.
Personally on the existence of the storyline now incorporated into Sunny canon, I think they did it in such a fantastic way it’s hard for me to argue anything against or say anything negative. I loved watching it. The thing I love about Abbott is the heart they have in the stories and how real a lot of what they address and tackle in childhood-into-adult development is, and you feel that here, for sure. And we’re watching Abbott, not Sunny, so it’s something removed from the purgatory of the bar.
For those of us that know and love Charlie, I think it’s hard to not feel soft toward this idea that (even if it doesn’t stick or it’s so so basic) there really truly are ways for the Gang to develop and improve on their faults/stubbornness to change, provided it’s treated the right way. And that can only be done (and maybe only continue) in a completely different environment, like Abbott.
The tragedy of Sunny and the Gang is that they’ll never treat each other in that way and therefore can rarely develop. It’s not that they don’t necessarily care, but that their communication methods are so crude and fulled by (often trauma-born) selfishness, they can never give each other the support needed to help improve each other. They make each other miserable in most cases, but they’re also content with that because they almost equally inflict what they take on....
Though Sunny isn't all complete misery, as we all know. They do love each other in fucked up ways and (maybe) almost wish they could help each other in certain respects. Mac's support and encouragement of Charlie being able to read is evident in many Sunny episodes, so it really warmed my heart that Charlie was so eager to show Mac how he had learned and could do a more difficult part of the book for him :) In my opinion, they kept it well aligned with Sunny canon. The Gang don't have the tools to teach Charlie to read, but they do all support and even partly enjoy him learning if they don't have to do it themselves.
I think what we see of Charlie in the Sunny episode will be interesting. Since he's the A plot in Abbott, I have to imagine he has a minor role in Sunny, but will certainly be present. If the idea here is that everyone other than Dennis is serving to distract the teachers, and Charlie only learned to read for the week and goes back to his baseline state of illiteracy, I think I would accept that too.
The lasting effect of the plot doesn't matter too much to me. I think instead the idea that, in the right environment, Charlie can learn to read (and even gets some sense of pride and excitement out of being able to read) but Paddy's and the Gang are really what hinder him from being able to do so (despite the Gang not necessarily against the idea, and considering the fact that Charlie contributes to and prefers the environment they've created) reinforces the Sunny that we hold dear.
#sorry if this reads like a jumble my brain is all over the place#i hope this makes sense#i will flesh this out further once we get the sunny half of the crossover#cos who knows what theyre gonna do there lol#but i do believe this was genuine for charlie#even if it was a distraction you can see he was proud :)#a gentle reminder that there are fractions of souls within those devils#charlie kelly#it's always sunny at abbott elementary#ask#charlie meta#17 spoilers#crossover spoilers
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every magic school has the Cringefail Newbie and the Self-Proclaimed Prodigy that adopted him <3
so I finally managed a drawing of Elbryn I'm actually happy with! idk if I'll ever write a proper fic involving him but I do have many Thoughts™ about the lil guy so I'll just dump them here under the cut
so after his rather embarrassing magical mishap in Helgen (which he's pretty sure didn't summon the dragon? but he isn't ruling it out as a possibility) he basically swears off using spells entirely and opts for a war axe
somehow manages to not die despite his lack of skill, figures out he's the Dragonborn yadda-yadda, we've all played the quests.
actually counts the Seven-Thousand-Steps to High-Hrothgar like the nerd he is. It was significantly more than seven thousand and his legs hurt so badly.
after making it to High-Hrothgar the Greybeards basically told Elbryn that he would need to become stronger before he could battle dragons as equals and master his Thu'um. Unfortunately they didn't provide much guidance on exactly how he should go about that, only telling him "that path would be made clear" and leaving the rest up to him.
Decides to go back to Whiterun and join the Companions. He's very intimidated by them, but they're probably the best people he could hope to learn from if he wants to master his skills with a blade.
Notably he goes to great lengths to hide his status as the Dragonborn from basically everyone. He feels as though the people of Skyrim are disheartened enough with the return of the Dragons, and if they knew this "legendary dragon-slayer" was really just some scrawny Breton ex-mage it would only dishearten them further, so he feels like it's better to let everyone assume the Dragonborn is some strong and fearsome Nord warrior or something of that nature. At least until he feels as though he can live up to the title.
He also hides his past as a mage from them because he gets the sense that the Companions would like, instantly stop respecting him if they knew. He does feel very bad about keeping so many secrets from them though, seeing as they all talk a big game about how they "don't deal in secrets like thieves and mages do"
Anyway things with the Companions go surprisingly well! His fighting skills improve significantly and he actually starts to form an unlikely friendship with Farkas. a bit of an "opposites attract" type thing. Farkas sees that Elbryn has a lot of potential but lacks confidence, so he sorta decided to take him under his wing. (Vilkas is a bit less fond of Elbryn though. not that he really dislikes him or anything, but he catches on that he's hiding something and doesn't quite trust it)
anyway if you know how the Companions questline goes you know that they take you into the Underforge with the intention of turning you into a werewolf alarmingly fast. Elbryn was still willing to work with them upon learning they were werewolves, but becoming one himself? no no no no nope. He basically tells them "yeah uhh I'll need to think about it", goes to his room, packs his stuff and sneaks off that very same night without saying a word to anyone. In hindsight he feels bad about that. Kinda wishes he had left Farkas a note or something, but he was scared and in a hurry. Oh well, nothing to be done about it now...
now I know they weren't going to force him to become a werewolf or anything, but Elbryn didn't know that. I mean they said they weren't going to force him but they also said the Companions don't deal in secrets, yet here they are doing this under Kodlak's nose in the dead of night! he has no idea what to think or expect or who he could even talk to and these guys have teeth. so he just runs.
north specifically. Not for any particular reason, he just had to pick a direction and it happened to be north. Wanders around for a bit, unsure of were to go now that his only source of martial training fell through.
Eventually comes across Frostflow Lighthouse (REAL downer of a dungeon that one) Now the thing about Frostflow is that near the end you drop down a cliff, and the only way back out is through the final boss. the giant Chaurus Reaper. So he's cornered down there, alone, with a foe he is woefully unprepared to fight. (In game it kept two-shotting me lmao, but I decided to make a story thing out of it!)
So in desperation he decides to use his magic. Not a lot mind you, maybe just to heal himself or create a flash to stun it so he could get away, but whatever it was he intended to do with it hardly matters, because that's not what ended up happening.
See, as it turns out, when you're naturally gifted with high amounts of magic, trying to suppress it for long periods of time like what Elbryn did basically turns you into a magic bomb. So the moment he tried to tap into his magika reserves, it was like a dam burst open. Everything in the cavern was engulfed in a storm of pure untamed magical energy, swirling and burning and tearing until nothing was left of the Chaurus but some strips of charred flesh and chitin
Elbryn immediately passes out, wakes up an indeterminate amount of time later dazed and utterly horrified at the carnage he left behind. I mean sure, it worked out in his favor this time, he was surrounded by foes and going scorched earth was really the only option, but if someone else had been with him? if something like that were to happen when he was with a friend or trying to protect or rescue someone... He looks back at the charred bits of Chaurus strewn about.
yeah, just suppressing his magic ain't gonna cut it, he needs to learn how to control it or else. There's a college in Winterhold right? that's where he has to go then. So he sets out east over the ice fields and hopes he can make it there before getting hopelessly lost and dying.
(ok I had a lot more to say but this was getting LONG I'll have to make another post later lol. sorry, Elbryn decided he wanted to have a story so I guess there's a story now)
#skyrim#OC Elbryn#dragonborn#J'zargo#tesblr#look I just think he's neat#I honestly wanted to talk more about his dynamic with Jaz here but I got distracted by the Companions lmao#you'll get that another time I guess#anyway yeah that's why Elbryn is so deeply afraid of his own magic (:#he refuses to participate in destruction magic lessons for a long time and J'zargo mocks him for it#that is until he sees what Elbryn is capable of and that his control of it is like. shaky at best. and he's like ':O'#ANYWAY i said that was for another post lmao
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Groot and Drax exchanged glances as Reks and the other guard started speaking. Drax, always humble, mistakenly assumed that Arvin was an admirer of his who wanted to say hello. Groot, on the other hand, initially thought he had gotten in trouble for chasing the lizards.
The more the two men spoke, though, the more questions the two Guardians had. Looking at each other, Drax and Groot shrugged simultaneously, neither of them knowing what Reks and Arvin were talking about. Apparently, the Guardians had uncovered a plot against the King and Prince of Dalmasca.
"We have?" Drax asked with both hands resting on his belt. But when he saw the look Groot gave him, he stood taller. "Yes, we have indeed."
"Why is everyone trying to kill everyone today?" Groot asked, though only Drax would understand him. He stood on Reks' shoulder carefully. "I don't get it... Why?!"
"Exactly!" Drax said with vehemence. "Why would anyone want to kill the Prince? He is beautiful!"
"Maybe someone's jealous of the way he looks and they think he has to die," Groot suggested innocently. It seemed like a perfectly logical explanation in his young mind, but saying it aloud made it appear all the more real, and he gasped audibly. "Oh no! What are we gonna do?"
"We do not know if that is certain," Drax replied. After a brief pause, he added, "But it seems plausible."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* . ───
Mantis smiled at the maid when she complimented her, before gesturing for Elin to follow her.
"Thank you! Elin... That's a pretty name! Come sit, please." She ushered the young woman to the sofa; it would help in case Elin needed to lay down due to the delicate nature of the topic at hand.
"Elin, as you can probably tell... I am not a human, or... hume, as you say. I possess certain... abilities," she began. "There is a reason why I wanted to speak to you privately. I am an empath. I am able to read others, and I can feel sources of energy. Life. Like the life sir Azelas attempted to take from me. So in return, I made him tell us his... um, tell us his secrets."
Mantis held out a hand so Elin could take it if she needed. "If there is anything I can help you with..."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* . ───
Gamora stood still and showed a blank expression as Raminas spoke with his son, though she nodded politely and offered a small smile when Caelen thanked her and said he would assist the Guardians as they needed.
"Just remember to get us the blade for my teammate and that will be enough repayment. It will make her smile." Her tone was a little more engaging and friendly this time, betraying the smallest hint of playfulness.
Moments later, Gamora was a bit surprised when Munoh reappeared, but it gladdened her to know that they brought word from Nabradia.
Apparently, Prince Rasler and Princes Eswynn would arrive sooner than intended; a formal dinner would take place. And Caelen wanted to... invite the Guardians? Gamora's eyes widened slightly, glancing and Munoh when they agreed with their chosen mortal.
"I will find my fellow teammates and tell them we have been invited. Thank you." She offered a polite nod. "Rest assured, we will not mention the invasion. I will inform my comrades of this as well."
With that, Gamora spun and left the throne room.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* . ───
Rocket and Quill were leaving the Benatar when they spotted Gamora from afar. Quill called her name, waving his arm with a big grin on his face.
"Gamora! Here!"
The woman saw them and approached the two Guardians. Her arms crossed over her chest.
"Any luck with the ship?"
"It's gonna take me a while to fix it, that much I can tell ya," Rocket replied. "Until then, I made somethin' to... uh... y'know, help improve Mantis' abilities."
"How?" Gamora asked.
"Uh, I dunno, remember that one time when she put a livin' planet to sleep? 'Cause you saw it, I saw it, we all saw it. The girl doesn't know how powerful she is, but I do. She's said before that she can't dull her powers. That means they can only grow. This will simply... dial 'em up to eleven. She'll be able to fuck shit up."
"I see." Gamora nodded and straightened. "I thought you said you don't care about us."
"You know me, I love a little mayhem and she's got the power. There's a lotta potential for chaos there."
"In any case..." Gamora smirked and shook her head. "We have been invited to have dinner with the royal family tonight, as well as the Prince and Princess of Nabradia."
"Huh?" Rocket narrowed his eyes.
"It's a celebration," Gamora clarified.
"A celebration," Rocket repeated numbly. And then he broke into a fit of laughter.
"What are we celebrating?" Quill asked.
"The wedding. Princess Ashelia is going to marry Prince Rasler. And I... I suspect it's an arrangement," Gamora said, remembering how anxious Ashelia seemed when she told Gamora and Mantis about the event.
"And why the fuck should we give a shit 'bout the wedding?" Rocket barked.
"Yeah, I don't get it either. Why would the King invite us?"
"The King didn't invite us. Caelen did," Gamora clarified.
"Ah, of course." Rocket rolled his eyes. "Of course Prince Charming's gonna take us under his wing, Mantis was able to get along with his invisible friend after all. Wonderful."
"Dude..." The Star-Lord's voice was a whisper. "Dinner means there will be food..."
The two stared at each other for a moment as Gamora's hands moved to rest on her hips.
"Okay, fine, we're goin', whatever," Rocket said.
"We must not mention the invasion in front of the Prince and Princess of Nabradia," Gamora explained. "King Raminas believes Prince Rasler might want to go defend his home which is... understandable. For his safety, we should refrain from bringing that up."
Another Time, Another Place (A Hollow Universe In Space) || closed with tarnishedxknight
@tarnishedxknight continued from here
The Guardians stood there, letting Captain Basch formally introduce them to King Raminas. They all then bowed respectfully except for Rocket, who only did so because Gamora pushed his head down. They trusted Basch for the most part, as he assured them no one would hurt them after telling them to leave their weapons at the ship. Quill and Gamora were the first ones to leave theirs; Drax didn't want to leave his knives, but did so after Mantis looked at him, while Rocket pulled a comical amount of retractable weapons from his pockets.
As they followed Basch, Mantis had stayed behind for a moment to approach Vossler. She felt much better after Munoh sent her some calm energy, and she smirked at the man. Suddenly, her hand was on his cheek, her antennae aglow. "Whenever you open your mouth to say something unkind, you will wail like a baby. Honestly, it might be more coherent than anything else you have said," she whispered. She patted his cheek twice as if to seal her whimsical behest, and hurried to follow the Guardians as Basch guided them through the palace of Rabanastre.
Quill straightened and cleared his throat to speak to the King. Mantis took his hand; Quill was a little confused, but he allowed it since he knew she wasn't feeling great.
"Your Majesty," he said, once again lowering his voice in an attempt to mirror Basch's formal tone and presence, hoping it would make the King like him more. "We come in peace. We thank you for your time, and we apologize for occupying one of your docks. I think I have–" He stopped talking rather suddenly, and swallowed. "Uh... I think... I have..."
What was happening was that Mantis was frantically reading his thoughts as he spoke, using her powers to interrupt him because he was going to say he had the perfect stuff to make up for it, wanting to show the King some Terran music with the Zune. While Terran music was excellent, Mantis knew not everyone would like it, nor find it an acceptable form of apology.
"I have no excuse," Quill said instead. "And I have to... shut up... now."
#tarnishedxknight#guest muse: groot#guest muse: drax#guest muse: gamora#guest muse: rocket#muse: peter quill#[ v: another time another place a hollow universe in space ]
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exactly 1 person asked, so here's 30 minutes worth of reasons why Silco x Viktor is my Arcane OTP and more people should open themselves to it's glory
and yes, I did format it a little like an oral presentation, what of it
General Compatibility
Both of them have a dry wit and unique outlook on life
People who don't know them well might find them very blasé but in truth they're both very caring and passionate people
Their banter would be top tier, frankly it's hard to picture anyone would be able to match Viktor’s quips as well as Silco could (Jayce understands the jokes and teasing ofc, but I just don't see him being able to bounce back the same energy. Though Mel could probably keep up just as well as Silco, but in a more light hearted way)
Silco wouldn't struggle with pitying or underestimating Viktor for his disability, nor would he ignore it and be all “it doesn't matter, it's what makes you, you” (as a disabled crutch user, ppl pretending ur disability doesn't exist and just expecting you to act able bodied is wayyy more common than people being over the top “worried”)
Viktor would very much be the angel on Silco’s shoulder, while Silco would be a bit of the devil on his
Silco is arguably the angel on other people's shoulders at times, given that he gives ppl who would be in senseless gang wars a real goal and drive towards progress for Zaun
Viktor could be considered the devil on Jayce’s shoulder sometimes, tempting him to push against authority for sake of technological advancement
Silco needs someone who has the mind for tech, strategy, politics, and philosophy at his side, since he's in a position of power with no advisors
Viktor needs someone who values him for his mind, body, and heart, but also his background. He's seen as “one of the good ones” and this never really gets a seat at the table, he needs someone who genuinely trusts in his input that would put his advice to work
They're both men of action, sitting on their hands and twiddling their thumbs doesn't suit them. There wouldn't be a “will they won't they” and the chances of them getting together in the spur of the moment only to realize there are real feelings there much later are pretty high
Similarities
Disabled men from the undercity who are driven by their desire to prevent anyone else from having to suffer the way they have at the hands of a corrupt system (in a non "gotta cure all the poor cripples way" cuz that shit is as uninspired as it is insulting)
Have dedicated their life to improving the living conditions of their people
Very intelligent and clearly brilliant in their professions, despite how different they may be
Both their altruistic goals come to ruin because power, whether they wanted that power or not, blinded and corrupted those goals
Impulsive as hell, Silco in his personal life but Viktor in his personal and professional
Differences
Silco is disillusioned and doesn't see a path to freedom for his people that doesn't involve bloodshed
Viktor is an idealist who might understand the necessity for violence in certain instances but would never seek, encourage, or enact it
Silco is a strategist, and a very good one at that, who uses the genius of others to gain and hold power via technology
Viktor is an inventor, and the most brilliant one we see in their world, who yes pushes boundaries of authority but never seeks power over others (from his perspective, his Messiah era was meant to be a chance at freedom for people who had been denied it, not authority over them)
Viktor is deeply trusting, he doesn't plot or scheme and barely ever lies
Silco trusts very little, we even his moment of doubt that Sevika might kill him that one time, his greatest skill is his ability to scheme and cheat others
Viktor doesn't believe in “the sacrifice of the few to save the many” but would commit the personal sacrifice of those he holds most dear to achieve his dream of helping Zaun and the world
Silco does believe that the death of a hundred to save a thousand is worth it, but he would never allow a personal sacrifice of the person he holds most dear even when it would mean Zaun becoming a free nation
Potential Dynamics
Disappointed Leader and Follower
Silco thinks Viktor is a class traitor, who abandoned his people as soon as the wealthy Pilties showed him an ounce of approval
Viktor thinks Silco is brilliant, and was an eager follower of his when he was younger, but now thinks he's abandoned his goals of freeing Zaun from Piltover and is just replacing the subjection of their people by Pilties with his own.
As they get to know eachother they come to understand better that their goals are the same, the only difference is how the world allowed them the chance to pursue it.
Is this fighting or making out?
Silco likes the power of putting “Piltover’s Brightest” in his place
Viktor is even more stubborn than he is smart, and maybe has a bit of a thing for humiliation
Who's worshipping who?
Silco is in secret awe of enlightened Viktor, but is overwhelmed by the idea of putting his hope and heart in someone else's control
Viktor is putty in the hands of his childhood hero, but can't shake the feeling that even now with the Arcane flowing through him, he isn't strong enough to stay afloat in the storm that is Silco
(Would happen in a version where Silco is revived by Viktor, but in this one the ppl saved by Viktor retain their personalities)
Scenarios / AUs
Early enlightenment Viktor being sought out by Silco who at first is worried about him being a threat, but then seeing the vision Viktor has for Zaun and the things he's capable of deciding he is an asset. Silco providing protectors of their sanctuary, under the guise that he’s “planning how to use Viktor as a pawn” when in reality this commune is the first sign of hope he's seen for Zaun in a long time.
Viktor seeking out shimmer from Silco, because he recognizes the ingenuity behind the drug even if he doesn't approve of it. Silco distrusts him and will only sell to him if he conducts his experiments on it down in the undercity. Viktor starts pulling double duty, working both in Piltover and in Zaun and they become closer and begin to collaborate on the creation and distribution of a new strain of shimmer, not meant to be used as a recreational drug but instead as an affordable, accessible medication for those affected by the toxic fumes from the mines. Viktor is reminded of his roots, and realizes how distant from his culture he's become. Silco is reminded that his dream for Zaun doesn't mean anything if the generation of those he wants to build it for are dead. (Also a great opportunity for some Jayce/Viktor Silco/Viktor love triangle jealousy nonsense hehehe)
Silco succeeds in his negotiations for Zaun freedom before he can become a chembaron, Viktor ends up becoming an ambassador for Zaun. Specifically dealing with education and technology as Zaun would have limited resources, so he is one of the people overseeing the building of the educational system and helping to fix the pollution from the mines with Hextech (he and Jayce would obviously be able to recreate Hextech, but the existence of a free Zaun means that the property of it is shared by both nations)
Viktor loses his benefactor when they discover something from his past that the Pilties deem “unfit of an Academy member” and must return to the fissures, this time as the right hand man of Silco who would never be stupid enough to let his talents go to waste.
Silco replaces Sky as Viktor's astral guide (because let's be real Sky was just thrown in there bc Arcane was queerbaiting the fuck outta Jayce and Viktor for some reason so they needed a random woman who had barely ever spoken on screen before) and their astral conversations go a little differently
Honourable mentions to: Viktor doing that shimmer painting stuff for Silco or vice versa, Speakeasy AU where there's a Zaunite run speakeasy topside that both Viktor and Silco frequent, Altered Timeline AU where Viktor seeks Silco out just before he becomes a chembaron to bring him to the Council as a temp member while they consider his proposition for Zaun's independance, Viktor must form an allyship with Silco so he can work on reducing the toxic gases in the fissures without being arrested by enforcers as he's going against council orders, or being killed by the other chembaron who runs that section of the city, Viktor joins the Firelights after Jayce threatens war on Zaun and begins brokering deals with other smaller gangs until Silco hears word and is interested in forming an alliance.
I hope you enjoyed this ted talk, please feel free to share with your friends and to tag me in any fanart / fanfics you see out there because I'm rabid for these fellas
thank you @orionchildofhades for the opportunity to go apeshit on main about these two
And big shout out to @blueberrymffn who's fanfiction The Things We Do For Progress got me hooked on this ship
#crackship#rareship#rarepair#arcane ships#arcane rarepair#disabled characters#silco x viktor#viktor x silco#headcanon#arcane headcanon#my headcanons#silco arcane#viktor arcane#viktor league of legends#silco league of legends#more people need to know this#i need more of them#fanfics please#i'm begging you#to see what i see#the potential#the DRAMA#fanfiction ideas#arcane au#arcane fanfiction#viktor fanfic#silco x viktor fanfic#fanfiction recommendation#fanfic inspo#enemies to lovers
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2024 reads / storygraph
Fallen Thorns
dark urban fantasy coming-of-age
follows a boy settling into university, when after a date (that he didn’t even want to go on) turns bad he’s made into a vampire
as he settles into his new existence and the local vampire community - while they try to find who’s been leaving bodies across the city - he discovers that there’s something different and darker within him
aroace neurodivergent MC
#fallen thorns#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this a lot!#there's definitely things I want to know more about...I think it's going to be a series? the only thing explicitly mentioned is a prequel#the ending is a bit weird and I don't entirely get the sun/star/moon stuff dfhgd#really great characters and atmosphere#great aroace MC in general tho minor pet peeve from me:#it does have that thing where the character spends half the book ruminating about how there’s something wrong with them bc they don't feel#things everyone else does etc etc and it’s like omg all these queer people and nobody’s heard about asexuality???#then he’s having a conversation with someone later in the book and he’s like yeah I know about asexual but I didn’t think about that re: me#and the other char is like: what if…..it IS you…..and he’s like omg. i AM asexual there’s nothing wrong with me after all! (in like. a page#like I’ve read this in multiple books LMAO. I do get that you can know about an identity and not connect it to your experiences#but somehow the writing of it like this is never quite believable? too sudden? then it's not thought about much after that?#anyway that's not a critique of the ''representation'' as much as just the writing I think - there's a few areas where I thought the writin#could be improved structurally or whatever. Didn't massively impede my enjoyment.#(I do also love an aroace mentor/parent figure!)#aromantic#aroace books#aromantic books
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i love choi yeonjun so much
#recently ive been thinking about him more than usual. hes like my biggest role model and my biggest inspiration#hes just. hes everything#DO YOU GET ME#i love his confidence that never wavers. even when he was still working on his dream he truly believed he could achieve it#he loves himself and knows his worth and i wish i could reach that level of confidence one day#and even if he's so confident. he's also an extremely grateful and humble person !!#he never takes things for granted and he's really down to earth too#he just has the perfect balance of confidence and humility that i wish i could find too#and !!! i love his mindset so much. he values growth and constant improvement#and he (and well all of txt) helped me value hard work because dude the passion that they have for what they do is so inspiring#and his motto being 'be the only one not the best one'. that just shows everything#he's just so incredibly inspiring i don't know how he's real#all the trainees and idols looking up to him are so real for that because how could anyone know of him and not just be awestruck#his mom nicknamed him 'healing' and that's so true. he really is healing#i have no idea how hes real. i don't even plan on becoming an idol ever but hes just my role model too#he just has the purest heart and such a good mindset and through him i learned i want to be like that too#HE IS MY ROLE MODEL. DO YOU GET IT. I LOVE HIM SO MUCHM DO YOU GET IT.#ok i just had to vent that out i love choi yeonjun so much <3
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I'm starting to think the reason I'm not as good of a writer as I want to be is because I like writing more than I like reading.
#which isnt to say i dont like to read#but i find it so difficult to get interested in new fiction#why would i bother reading stories other people wrote when i could just write mine?#i don't have this issue reading nonfiction ive been so into nonfiction#and i feel like THAT has helped me write better just by teaching me about more things so i can make worlds make more sense#but one time i told somebody i was writing a story that's kind of a zombie apocalypse but for plants and they said#'oh that's exactly like this other book' (i forget the name) 'you should read that one!'#and it made me unreasonably angry#i don't care abt someone else's story with a vaguely similar concept. i care abt mine.#and i know this makes me seem like an asshole and i probably am for this specific thing#but i read every book i could get my hands on as a child#and then as soon as i was able to write my own stories that stopped being the case#like all that reading was just training me to do what i can do now#and i think if i could just get over my disinterest in other ppl's fiction books and start practicing deconstructing what makes a good stor#i would start improving my writing more#and short stories! fuck. i hate reading other ppl's short stories unless they're written by friends#but as im starting to submit my short stories to publishing magazines n stuff#im realizing i'll have a better chance of getting published if i read the other stuff those mags have posted before#and write what they want to have submitted. but then it's not necessarily what *i* want to write. u know?#i don't know how to fix this fundamental problem of me preferring writing over reading#(and this applies to fanfic too btw. i hardly ever seek out fic to read unless a friend sends it to me. and often i like it when they do!#but not as much as i like writing or reading my own writing.)#just why would i READ when i could be WRITING and writing is so much more FUN
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did the old tumblr live toggle actually work for yall? mine literally never has lmao
#on a more serious note. ive said before but it really is so disheartening how much this site is going to shit#saw a comment that said staff was like ''changes will continue until revenue improves'' which i dont know if is 100% legit but#I'D certainly believe it. and in which case. god if that isn't the darkest death knell possible.#esp. for me bc like. this is the only social media site ive ever really used#it has such a unique layout and i really enjoy working with it for what it is#most of the stuff i make is made to be posted On Tumblr and doesn't really work anywhere else#like wrt to how i format comics and writing for here [and askblogs formerly :p]#like yeah i could migrate and yeah i could figure out other ways to present stuff but i don't want to! i like doing it like this!#and then theres the whole losing audience thing or whatever like fine. irritating sure but ultimately does not matter i'll still make stuff#it's mostly just frustrating bc this year has been the best i've made use of tumblr formatting and most ive enjoyed doing so#and strongest it's been received!...all while continually falling apart around itself#like RIGHT as i hit my stride you know. if i was already past my prime with it it'd still be annoying but whatever its bound to happen#but like right now!!!! come on dude.#bweeeaaahh
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I just
I just fucking
Withering Winter
Baal and Oko grow closer by the day, but the lonely winter threatens to drive a wedge between them.
Sequel to Eye In the Sky
#Fucks sake#I need#To Be#NORMAL#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#FUCK#IT'S SO GOOOOOD#IT'S SO CLOSE TO PERFECT LIKE#I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD IMPROVE IT MUCH AT ALL#IT'S JUST SO FUCKING GOOD#ALSO GEM COMPLIMENTS TO YOU FOR THE ART ACCOMPANYING IT#I JUST#HOW DO YOU TWO CREATE SO OFTEN AND SO WELL ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHH#I hope this is an “comes with experience” thing because FUCK I WANNA BE THIS COOL#Happy New Year you beautiful fuckers#Can't wait to see you in 2025#Cheers for everything <3
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it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
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looking at some of my old ship art/self inserts and being like "who the fuck is this guy"
#i just. i've changed a lot i think#looking at my old sonas they just feel like different people entirely#maybe i'll post some of that art some day i just think it's interesting to look back on#i don't know if my art skills have improved#since i spent a lot of time not doing art#but it's just neat to see how i've depicted myself evolve#because i've changed so much!#but. i think now despite it all at my core. i like me i like who i am#i feel like i'm my authentic self now#and i don't think the person that did this art could have said that#what do you have to say doll?
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I will die on this hill
#cause the whole thing in Candide is he's arguing against Leibnitz who's saying it's the best of all possible worlds and that everything#that happens happens for an eventually good reason#and Voltaire's not just arguing that everything is terrible; for all that he's smarter than Pangloss Martin is still wrong about Cacambo#coming back.#and Martin's idea was that there's a Good god and a Bad god that control everything#but Candide (book not character) shows that things like the Lisbon earthquake or good men drowning simply don't have a reason; good or bad#things happen essentially randomly and there's no order to it#*but*#(and this is moving away from the absurdism point but I want to talk about it)#despite all the random uncontrollable things Candide faces there's also much that's manmade#and I've seen some interpretations of the book that seem to thing the ending is saying to just escape from the world and don't bother#with trying to change it but I don't think that's the point because first of all obviously Voltaire didn't think it was useless to try and#change things or he wouldn't have written the fucking book; and also Martin and Pangloss share the similarity of believing that#any attempt to better the world is pointless because Pangloss thinks it couldn't get any better and Martin. well. also thinks that but in a#negative way#and the way I see it the book is as much a critique of fatalism as it is of Leibnitz's optimism#and really those are one and the same; if this is the best world it means nothing can ever improve and we're stuck in this pile of shit#tldr; shit happens for no reason; ya can't fix it but at least you could make it a bit better for the people around you; and you might as#well enjoy some pistachios while you're doing it#guys i promise i do know how to write actual literary analysis and someday i'll post it#but it's easier to just rant in the tags for 5 minutes#also jacques and the old woman both fundamentally changed the story through being willing to help candide + pangloss/cunégonde
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
#creative writing#writers block#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity#fanfic writing#writeblr#writing advice
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I'm amazed that Disney spent all this time and money developing this conversation chain system, then mapping that to hand gestures and teaching this sign language to cast members, ultimately to get stormtroopers to be able to verbally interact with disneyland guests. When like. You could just put a mic in the helmet. You could have a voice actor off in a room somewhere watching from a monitor like some kind of turtle talk with meatspace stormtrooper. Then also they just sort of dumped it all after covid anyway.
#theres cool stuff you could do with that system#but it also seems really cumbersome to use instead of the previous 'some guy off to the side is triggering the voice stuff on an ipad' thing#which seems like separating the physical acting and improv soundboard operator skillsets like that works best#instead of making one poor confused sweaty teenager do all of it with kind of conspicuous hand gestures#there's a lot to say about Disney's poor execution of star wars land stuff I'm sure#but as far as im concerned they fucked up not having goofy original puppet aliens and robots yelling at tourists from windows or whatever#how hard would it be to put your tiniest character performer in a gonk droid and just have them clomp around#I do not have like a religious attachment to star wars#but like oh my god they sunk all this money into those chicken droids when you could just be putting people in robot costumes#there is so much potential for entertainment value and they like. intentionally sidestepped all of it#people like star wars because of its stilted one sided conversations with a voice actor i recognize right#i don't know much about modern star wars but i know 40% of the mandalorion is a goofy puppet creature that people adore
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Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen
I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"
Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say
I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well
So there it is
#like I could have said this; and I could have said that; and... hmm... I just don't think I would have succeeded in conveying that like...#I'm actually on your side man; I'm in your corner on this#I think you might be tilting at windmills here#but it's not fucking worth it anymore cause history shows me I'd either get no response or one that missed every word I said#and... I just give up... with everything#I don't want to say no one listens because that goes too far; but even with people I like very few people feel like they listen#people I adore where it's like... I'm not sure how you don't get that I can't 'move out' of my house cause... it's my house; like I own it#it's a question of telling someone else they have to leave; but like... I ain't leaving my home... this is mine#and... I don't understand how... this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've had to explain this; and it doesn't add up to me#cause this is someone that's brilliant that I know cares about me#...so I'm mostly confused... and a bit sad and hurt... but mostly I just don't get what I'm doing wrong in communicating#but if that's how I feel about someone I'm close to; how do you think I feel about strangers?#I don't understand what it takes to get people to listen#and like... there's a chance they would have; there's a chance they would have been super receptive#it's just... it's no longer worth the effort to me#it's not worth the effort on a chance; and perhaps I do them a real disservice; and perhaps I do the next person one too#but... there's too many people I run into these days where I'm right and so... I don't know; kinda am closed off at this point#or something; fuck it; doesn't matter#also you people worry too much about me just saying what's on my mind#whatever the fuck I may say here... ain't I cleaning and shit; whatever... hmm...#you'd fucking hate Eeyore; you say you'd like him; but I'm telling you that people can't fucking accept someone being a bit morose#you'd bother him to cheer up; you say you'd accept him; but I'm saying you wouldn't#and I'm saying you wouldn't cause no one can just let me say shit that's on my mind without making a big deal out of it#like at what point do I earn the right to not have to fix myself on top of all the other shit I'm trying to fix?#at what point does taking practical actions to try and improve my situation make up for me saying gloomy shit sometimes?#whatever... doesn't matter#if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that people care very much; and they're fucking horrible at actually supporting people#most people want to very much and suck very badly at it; in part cause they can't just sit with someone; they're always trying to fix thing#mm tag so i can find things later
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my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before 😭#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me 😅#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassing😭 i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh 😅 especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this 😂#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore 😅#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
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