#I DO LOVE SPECULATING ABOUT THE BIOLOGY OF UNKNOWN CREATURES !!!!!!!!!!

[wierdautumn]

if i ever met the dungeon meshi party they';d all freak out and beat me to death with hammers for getting along w laios too well

[monster-huntologist]

Monster Ecologies: Ceadeus and Goldbeard Ceadeus

Entry 34 - Ceadeus and Goldbeard Ceadeus

Name: Ceadeus and Goldbeard Ceadeus

Aliases: Ocean Dragon for Ceadeus and Emperor Ocean Dragon for Goldbeard Ceadeus

Classification: Mammal, Elder Dragon

Size: 58 Metres

Biology: Ceadeus are gigantic Elder Dragons, the largest aquatic creatures ever discovered. It’s body shape is similar to that of a cetecean, with a face similar to that of a Dunkleosteus. Two massive horns jut from it’s head, which grow constantly throughout it’s life. It periodically grinds them against the ocean floor, with enough force to generate earthquakes. On one occasion, this behaviour even resulted in the destruction of an entire island (which was fortunately uninhabited by nothing other than seabirds). These horns eventually grow over its eyes, which would render the monster blind if it wasn’t capable of echolocation. It also has a prominent beard of fur alongside bioluminescent organs running down its stomach and chest. These serve a special purpose for the Ceadeus thanks to a symbiotic relationship with a specific species of algae. This algae grows in its beard and uses the glow from the bioluminescence in order to photosynthesise. In turn, the algae releases large amounts of oxygen that the monster uses to stay submerged for longer. This combined with its large lungs allows the Ceadeus to stay submerged for months. Goldbeards are fully grown specimens that have been alive for several centuries. Now having a lustrous gold hide, its horns have completely overtaken its eyes and its beard has grown larger. The larger beard holds a larger amount of algae, making it so that the Goldbeard can stay underwater indefinitely.

Behaviour: Most of the time, Ceadeus are calm monsters that will leave other creatures alone unless provoked. Unfortunately for both the monster itself and anything living near it, intense pain caused by its constantly growing horns will send it into a rage once every few weeks. During this time, the Ceadeus will attack anything nearby no matter how big or small they are when compared to itself. Goldbeards no longer have these periodic rages, but are much more aggressive overall. Even amongst the already limited sightings of this creature, less than 10% of them have been in a calm disposition.

Habitat: Ceadeus are ocean dwellers, spending the majority of their lives in the depths of the open sea. On rare occasions, they have been known to spend time near the surface around nearby islands. It is unknown why they do this, but researchers speculate that they just want to see land once every while.

Diet: Ceadeus are carnivores, spending most of their time hunting down in the depths of the ocean. While they won’t pass up anything large enough for them to feed on such as certain species of jellyfish, their diet primarily consists of giant squid and deep sea sharks. Occasionally, Goldbeards will attack and eat other large monsters living on the ocean floor. While they will leave Abyssal Lagiacrus alone (likely due to its weakness to electrical attacks and the Leviathan being smart enough to avoid a battle it cannot win), they feed on any Narkakos or adult Gobul that they can find. Ceadeus pups are weaned by their mothers until they develop the necessary skills and strength to feed by themselves.

Attack Method: Ceadeus primarily fight using their immense strength to crush opponents, using body slams, tail whips and charges. Something they will attempt goring attacks with their horns. They also have the ability to take in large amounts of water into their body, then fire it out to blast its enemies with the equivalent of an extreme current hitting them out of nowhere. During the breeding season, Ceadeus will fight over mating rights by ramming their horns together until one of them gives up.

Place in the Food Chain: Unlike many other of its classification, Ceadeus are intertwined with an actual food chain. It just happens to be one in a very different location that not many monster species inhabit. While Ceadeus don’t have any predators once they reach adolescence, pups are preyed on by the two monsters it will go on to hunt in adulthood, Narkakos and adult Gobul. Like many Elder Dragons, Goldbeards travel to the New World in order to die. While they cannot reach the Rotten Vale or the more recent Elders Recess due to their aquatic lifestyle, they are content with simply passing away in the shallow waters that surround the island. This in turn leads to the New World having a wide array of beautiful coral reefs created by the released bioenergy, the largest of which has been named “The Cove of Titans”.

This has been a report on the Ceadeus and Goldbeard Ceadeus. Thank you for reading.

(It wasn’t a request, but I decided to make this after seeing @gore-magalas talking about how Ceadeus deserves more love. And yes, he does!)

[lethesomething]

Question

Furious speculation and spoilers incoming from season 3 and 4 of Voltron Legendary Defender. Also just... so many pictures of Lotor.

So guys. Serious question.

How friggin old is Lotor?

I have many questions about Lotor (and at least one of those is 'Can we get him out of that armor?") but the most prominent that comes to mind right now is how old is he supposed to be? Because a lot of things don't add up.

Let’s do the speculative math. Lotor is half Galra, half Altean. Altean lifespan seems to be roughly a thousand years, if we go by Coran standards. (he's 600 years old but seems to look and act middle-aged by human standards). Galra natural lifespan is unknown but personally I don't think it's as long as Altean. If the Alteans are space elfs, then the Galra are space orcs. They're more militaristic, they throw themselves at their death with surprising ease, giving me the feeling that life is considered less precious, and therefore the toll of years lost should be lower. If a human dies at forty, that’s a toll of thirty years they could have had. If you have a thousand years to live, it feels Very Wasteful to kamikaze yourself at nineteen. But that might just be me. The main takeaway, however, is that neither Galra nor Alteans live 10.000 years. That is, for pretty much anyone in the galaxy, an unnaturally long lifespan. The reason Zarkon and Haggar manage, is because they use quintessence to prolong their 'life' way past what is normal or even preferable.

Puting this under a cut because I overdid it again.

So. On to Lotor.

His natural lifespan should be about 1.000 years. Tops. He looks and acts fairly young. Like early twenties, by human standards. So 200? Thereabouts? But when the frig was this guy born? And how? There’s a few things that are just really off about the Zarkon family.

1. From what we see in their interactions, his parents don't seem to remember that they were married at some point. Whatever love or connection they had, seems to have been lost when they 'turned'. They certainly don't act like a married couple and in a very real way, I'm just having trouble picturing them in bed together, ok? Their power dynamic is just too weird at this point.

2.Lotor doesn't treat Haggar as his mother. He doesn't call her that, even though he addresses Zarkon as 'father'. He doesn't even acknowledge who she is. In the same way, Haggar talks to Zarkon about 'your son', not 'our son'. To Lotor, his mother is Honerva, Altean scientist. And he respects Honerva deeply. It's her work he's trying to continue by building the rift. He seems to care a lot more about that than the empire his father (and Haggar) are so desperately trying to preserve. But Honerva, at least that part of her identity, died 10.000 years ago.

So what the hell is going on.

Option one: he's like, so old

Consider Lotor being born 10.000 years ago, to Honerva, before the whole mess that destroyed the Galra home planet. That would give him 10.000 years to start hating his dad.

But. For him to still be alive in the series, he'd have to be given quintessence. His lifespan must have been expanded way past what was natural, in a manner similar to Zarkon and Haggar.

I don't buy that. Why? For one, it’s in his eyes.

Lotor, while being a Complete Asshat and just, the best kind of villain, has pupils. This is surprisingly significant.

Voltron tends to use eyes as a way into the soul. It’s a sort of way to show a person’s... for want of a better word, humanity. That’s why Haggar has yellow slits, Zarkon has purple slits.

#NoPupils. But that’s not how it used to be.

Lotor has his father's eyes, from back when his father wasn't fully evil. So what has changed? For Zarkon and Honerva, it was a trip to an alternate reality. But most modern day Galra have no pupils. Even the good guys, like Kolivan. That’s weird, innit? Now this may be some gene evolution thing, but I personally believe it has to do with quintessence. The purple evil stuff, and the use thereof. The Galra empire uses that stuff for Everything, it's like their electricity, but we've been shown quite vividly that it corrupts.

Meanwhile Lotor is 'the outcast brat'. He may have Altean blood to keep some of that corruption off, but he’s also staying as far away from headquarters with its druids and its massive stores of quintessence as possible. He's the rebel son traipsing around the outskirts of the galaxy with his pack of badass lady generals, all of whom have pupils, btw.

But of course, the eyes could just be part of his heritage or somesuch. Now let me add this tidbit of an argument.

He's too fabulous. No, listen. Being that old takes its toll, even if you're using eldritch magics and pure evil to prolong your lifespan. And the series shows this. Haggar and Zarkon aren't just old, they LOOK old. You can even see it in the god damned cat.

Kova went from cute fluffy pet to the galaxy's oldest feline, and while the kitty retained its pupils, it does SHOW that it's super old.

That creature is a skeleton covered in leather and ennui. Meanwhile Lotor is over here looking, well, young. Like he's in the prime of his life.

Option two: he truly is a young adult

If you consider that Lotor is like 200 years old, because he really is in the prime of his life, this opens up Many possibilities.

1. He was born the natural way.

This involves his parents getting it on, which, go you I guess. But it doesn’t account for the Very Strange family dynamic they seem to have.

2. In vitro fertilization (or whatever version of it the Voltron universe has)

Consider Lotor being Created in some way. Either as a pure test tube baby, or through some druid ritual or even using a surrogate mother (I have no clue about Galra biology and I do not wish to know). Somehow that makes So Much More sense.

It accounts for the lack of any motherly bond between Haggar and Lotor

It is certainly easier to imagine a lab working on this, than the strong but not exactly life-sustaining body of Haggar growing a baby.

You can just imagine Lotor being born and handed to a set of nannies and trainers. "Hello, you're the prince. Your father is emperor Zarkon, your mother is Honerva. Time to start playing space chess and learning to fight with a laser sword." And no one even mentions who Honerva is, because that seems to be like some kind of weird secret.

Shall we go deeper?

What if this Lotor isn't the first?

What if the original son was born and raised in the normal way, but died 10.000 years ago. What if every few centuries they try clone him, or recreate him, only for Lotor to disappoint his parents by rebelling and basically not being Zarkon.

What if the memory of her motherly instincts is what compels Haggar to keep trying? To put Lotor on the throne and to hope that he'll do it right this time?

I found Zarkon's reaction to his own son's actions very strange. This is your only son, and you're firing him like that? You're treating him with pure disdain? You're chasing him across the galaxy to kill him? The main difference between Zarkon and Lotor is that Lotor is cold and calculated, whereas Zarkon is emotional and passionate. Lotor is capable of changing sides, of scheming, of doing the rational thing for his continued survival. Zarkon, meanwhile, will drop everything to get the Black Lion, will go to alternate friggin realities to save his wife. It makes sense for Zarkon to try and reap bloody vengeance on his son for disappointing him, but not until he’s found out as a traitor.

But what if he's attempt number six? At this point he'd be nothing more than a product to Zarkon. Another failed subordinate who was given more chances than others, and who squandered them all.

Why is this important

The possibilities for Angst on all sides are just delicious in this scenario, so there’s that. But mostly, it opens up character development for our villain. It would mean Lotor is a total shit, yes, but an uncorrupted one. It would mean he does not have 10.000 years of evil juice running through his veins and like the eyes, it would mean he still has some humanity left to regain. I would personally not trust this fucker as far as I can throw him but... He could have the little redemption arc I’m sure a lot of us want. And I’m kinda hype for that.

[mst3kproject]

Phantom from Space

I fear nobody in this movie was ever on MST3K.  In fact, nobody in this movie ever appears to have been in anything, period – Ted Cooper, who plays the hero, spent most of his career doing game shows, and Noreen Nash's greatest accomplishment in life was being 1942's Miss Apple Blossom.  Director W. Lee Wilder did do Killers from Space, which was almost an MST3K movie, and The Snow Creature, a crummy Yeti movie that I'll probably review someday.  Rather than any of the cast or crew, what drew me to this film was that it features an invisible alien.  In the words of Joel, they were too cheap to hire villains.

Opening narration tells us about an incoming UFO.  The government sends people out to find the crash site.  Meanwhile, the police begin investigating a series of odd incidents, including two murders and an explosion – but all the witnesses keep describing a man in a diving helmet, with no head visible through the faceplate!  Before long the two investigations come together, as everybody realizes they're tracking a homocidal invisible alien.  This creature is plenty difficult enough to find as long as he has his indestructible spacesuit on.  Once he takes it off, however, they may never see him again, and he'll be free to kill.

Wow, that sounds like a way more exciting movie than the one I just watched.  Phantom from Space is difficult to sit through, but easy to come up with sketches and riffs about.  The antenna on top of the tracking vehicle looks like a Christmas tree, a scientist suggests that the reason the alien is invisible is because it's made of glass, and I can see Mike and the bots having a great time with the fact that the titular Phantom is naked for half the movie.  “Oh my god, his invisible butt cheeks are all over their leather seats!”  “Augh!  I'm staring right into his invisible area!”  Maybe Tom and Crow would become paranoid that there's an invisible man on the satellite and try to find a way to flush him out... possibly literally.  I can also see them urging the cast looking for the alien to “just follow the theremin!”, since that's the sound that we hear every time it's implicitly onscreen.

The beginning of the movie is just a mess.  First we have the narration and the inevitable accompanying stock footage, which seems to go on far too long.  Then, instead of getting to the action, we have the police investigation – this comes complete with suspects, annoying reporters, and so forth, and also takes way too long. Then there's the old guy with the malfunctioning TV set. Then there's the night watchman at the oil company!  These events are all supposed to establish patterns and make us worried about the alien but the whole segment needed to be cut down to about half its length, especially as very few of the characters we meet here are remotely relevant to the plot when it finally arrives, twenty-two minutes into a seventy-five minute film!

The plot of Phantom from Space sure takes its sweet time getting started, and even once it finds its feet it's really not a taut thriller, but it does give us plenty to think about.  With the exception of Wakeman the reporter, the characters we meet are pretty reasonable people: there's Dr. Wyatt the vaguely German astronomer, his assistant Barbara Randall, her husband Bill, their dog Venus, and a couple of cops and secret agents... and of course, there's the alien.  This being, which the human characters refer to as 'the Phantom', is never quite a character in its own right – but once we actually meet it, it also ceases to be a monster.

It's a real shame the opening sequences are so elongated and dull, because an audience who's falling asleep isn't going to pay attention to what's really the smartest thing in the movie.  The various witnesses who have seen the Phantom up to this point speak of it as a huge, intimidating thing that inspired great fear.  The first time we get a look at it for ourselves, however, it is scrambling back and forth on a rooftop, terrified and confused and desperate to escape from the humans who are closing in on it like a pack of wolves.  It's so frightened that it's forced to take a deep breath and take off its spacesuit so it cannot be seen.  This is more or less an act of suicide.  Events that follow will demonstrate that the Phantom cannot survive more than a few hours without the suit – taking it off ensures the wearer's short-term survival by sacrificing the long-term variety.

Up until this moment, the human characters have been speculating about the possible motives of their unknown visitor.  Is the Phantom a Soviet saboteur?  A thrill killer?  The vanguard of an invading army?  A few seconds in the creature's company show the audience that it has no plan.  It's not thinking ahead to more than the next couple of minutes, and its fear leads it to make mistakes.  Removing the suit ensured that the humans couldn't find it at the beach, but the Phantom must then accompany them to Griffith Observatory and try to get its stuff back, not an easy task with the police still looking for it.

Once they've actually made contact with the alien, the human characters quickly come to the same conclusion, but once the spacesuit disintegrates, there's really no hope for the Phantom to make it off our planet alive.  Instead, it begins trying to communicate in some kind of numerical code, but nobody can understand what it's trying to say.  In the end, Earth's toxic atmosphere overwhelms the Phantom, and it briefly becomes visible before disintegrating, leaving the humans with no idea what to do next.

The movie doesn't have much by way of special effects, but the evaporating alien isn't awful.  We see his body, which is made up and lit in such a way that it looks like its made of stone rather than flesh (tying in with Dr. Wyatt's earlier suggestion that the creature's biology is based on silicon rather than carbon), and then we see subtle hints of the skeleton as the whole thing seems to boil away into mist.  It's not fancy, but it's also not corny, and for a movie with such an obvious low budget, this is a very nice moment indeed.

The script is also quite respectful of its main female character, Barbara Randall.  As soon as she's introduced we are immediately told she will be something other than a useless love interest, because she is Mrs Randall, thank you very much.  She is the first to attempt any sort of contact with the Phantom and she behaves in a very sensible fashion.  Although she's terrified and does do some screaming and fainting, for the most part she keeps her wits about her and seizes the opportunity to learn something.  Locked in a room with the creature, she tells Bill to go for help rather than trying to break her out himself.  She recognizes that the Phantom is trying to communicate and writes down the sequence of numbers he taps out, hoping somebody more familiar with mathematics will understand it. And she is the first to notice that the dog is aware of the alien, and tries to take advantage of this fact.

Make no mistake, Phantom from Space is a very bad movie – it would be much better if somebody cut down the first third or so, but it still wouldn't be great.  It does, however, seem to be a story with a lot of thought put into it.  It never really resolves the situation it sets up, since we never find out what the Phantom was trying to tell us or whether we can expect to see more of him, but that doesn't feel like a disappointment.  The main arc of the movie, from the opening with the flying saucer sightings, was the humans simply trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and at the end they know.  Future consequences of the night's events simply aren't important at this point.

It's a story with no villain.  As audience and cast quickly realizes, the Phantom is only trying to survive on an alien world, with few resources and hopelessly lost, outnumbered, and outgunned. The humans themselves, from the scientists to the cops to the annoying reporter, all are just trying to do their jobs as best they can with the available information.  It's also a story with no hero. There's no single main character, and it's the group working together who manage to collectively learn something about the nature of the universe.  Like First Spaceship on Venus, this is a movie about ideas rather than people, though it's far clumsier about it.

The big idea writer Myles Wilder wants to explore is that of alien contact.  In most movies of the fifties, and frankly even a lot of movies of today, aliens either come in firing lasers at us, or else just speak English from the get-go.  Wilder tries to do something different by showing us an alien who is as unprepared for us as we are for it.  How do you communicate with something when you don't even know if you have common ground with it, let alone what that might be?  Scientists from the beginning of SETI have suggested that mathematics is a universal language, but what kind of mathematics?  Dr. Wyatt points out that the Phantom's message may be couched in a form of math we haven't discovered yet.  In the end, the alien's pleas for help – if that's indeed what they were – fall on deaf ears, not because the humans don't want to help it, but because we simply cannot understand what it is trying to say. That's a pretty neat idea to make a movie about, and could have made for a far better one than Phantom from Space.

If you're interested in the idea of using math to communicate with extraterrestrials, and the pitfalls we might experience along the way, there's a couple of really interesting SETI Talks lectures about it available on YouTube.  Dr. Kevin Devlin argues that math is a product of the human brain and may not be as universal as we think, and Dr. John Stillwell demonstrates some rather obscure ways of thinking about numbers that may be more natural to aliens than they are to us.