#I DIDNT WANT THE ENTIRE CLASS TO KNOW ABOUT MY DETAILS

[just-another-bored-killjoy]

somedays people feel like they want to die out of embarrassment, today's the day.

[lemon-wedges]

Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)

ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;

Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha

undercut cause it came out real long

SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.

And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.

heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)

after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!

instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.

examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.

the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!

Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines

NOW PAINTING.

man. where to even start.

the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.

VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE

I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.

like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention

the next step from this is adding a light source.

and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.

and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes

this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up

NOW COLOR

is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

its a lot and im actually still learning myself

But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too

WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.

figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.

my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.

and then? i start rendering

that would be TECHNIQUE

And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.

With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.

I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol

The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D

ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end

anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah

BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD

[yamaylander]

hey, it's me again! after a whole 2 days, i've finished redoing Nightmare. to be honest i didnt expect myself to work that fast but i guess i was THAT devoted to redoing her entire character. it's a really long file so it's obviously gonna be put under read more. there'll be a preview up until her profile below

special thanks to @cherry-blossomtea and another friend for helping me research DID as well as talking about their experiences with DID themselves. and obviously thanks @adorablegorilla for inspiring me to do this (although i did take a lot of liberties remaking Nightmare's character. found the evil alter thing distasteful)

of course, feedback is always appreciated so i know what parts work best and what areas i need to improve upon, especially in regards to DID as this is my first time engaging it. so do send if you have any!

without further ado, i present to you what i'm calling: Y5 Nightmare!

-----

Nightmare, Medic Operators of Rhodes Island, will provide help no matter who’s currently in the moment.

Who is it I’m talking to today?

Codename: Nightmare

Class: Incantation Medic

Real Name: Nyx Rebel Pasbelletti, Gloria

Gender: Female [Both]

Experience: 6 months [Nyx], 1 month [Gloria]

Place of birth: Victoria

Date of birth: June 1st [Nyx], March 12th [Gloria]

Race: Feline

Height: 156 cm

Infection status: Visible internal blotches, infection confirmed

(file continued below)

Token: A glow-in-the-dark doll, handmade. Nyx said it’ll protect you from bad dreams.

Physical examination

Strength: Normal

Mobility: Standard

Endurance: Normal

Tactical acumen: Good [Nyx], Normal [Gloria]

Combat Skill: Good [Nyx], Standard [Gloria]

Arts adaptation: Excellent

Skills (Rank 7)

Soul Reflection - ATK increases by 70% and attacks two enemies at once, healing two allies in range; each attack binds enemies for 3 seconds

Phantasmagoria - Range expands and stops attacking; decreases movement speed of enemies by 60% and drains 20% of their health every second with Arts damage, while healing operators depending on how many enemies are currently in range

Talent

Fronting - Healing effectiveness increased by 20% when equipped with skill 1; Obtains 18% ATK when equipped with skill 2

*Gloria has asked to keep this event classified until both her and Nyx come to a consensus to speak about it.

Profile

Nyx is a Victorian operating under the codename Nightmare with her headmate, Gloria. Prior to their entry into Rhodes Island, Nyx was a college student who studied medical Arts. Gloria came later during her life due to an unspecified event* before her subsequent infection. They now currently work in Rhodes Island’s triage section, working to help patients as well as Operators in the battlefield.

Clinical Testing

Imaging tests for this Operator showed a blurry outline of internal organs with visible unusual dark spots. Unusually high concentrations of Originium particles were present in her circulation, indicating signs of infection and confirming her as infected at this stage.

[Cell-Originium Assimilation] 16%

Surveillance is recommended for rare cases like this.

[Blood Originium-Crystal Density] 0.33u/L

Infection is in mid-stage and continues to spread. First-level medical plan recommended. Pathological Monitoring Protocol Label: Red (signed by Dr. Kal’tsit, see medical file for more detail).

Gloria is known to be gentle, almost to a fault. She doesn’t strike anyone as the type who would go out in the battlefield, instead giving the impression that she would rather stay and help others in the infirmary. This view is only half the truth. While Gloria does indeed want to help others, she wishes to do so in a manner that both soothes and protects her fellow operators onboard. In the ship, she is often the one who consoles others during their time of need. This is especially true for those who are currently experiencing traumatic stress. Surprisingly Gloria seems to have a good handle on how to deal with such matters, to the point that she could very well apply to be a therapist. It’s even more surprising that Gloria chose to become a battlefield operator, though this is because by her and Nyx’s volition, they want to help people wherever they can.

Archive File 1

Operator Nightmare suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder. In rudimentary terms, DID is when a person suffers from having two or more personalities, also known as alters, in their consciousness. Currently, Nightmare has two headmates that are present, that being Nyx and Gloria, the latter of which tends to be fronting much of the time.

On the subject of Nyx, who is the oldest alter before Gloria came to be, she appears to be far more reserved compared to the more sociable Gloria. She usually remains dormant for long periods of time, often letting Gloria front whenever possible. On the chance that Nyx is fronting however, she shows herself to be far quieter than Gloria is. When talking to others, she speaks in a hushed voice and is quick with her words. She also tends to be more upfront and honest, which has led to others conflicting with Nyx from time to time. From Gloria’s words however, this isn’t because Nyx chooses to be mean, this is only because Nyx isn’t sure how she can talk to others. 

Currently, Gloria is undergoing talks with Nyx in order to help her open up, but she also stresses that Nyx must be given time before she can properly do so. On that note, Operators should be mindful of who they are speaking to at the moment and that proper respect should be given to Nyx’s situation.

Nyx has attended many classes regarding medicine and psychology, to the point that she often spent time reading up on the subject matters during her free time which has resulted in her stifled sociality. This may have also given way to her blunt nature, as Gloria admitted that Nyx often got into trouble by her own volition simply because she was honest in a manner that hurt others. Nyx doesn’t seem to understand why this is but seeing as this was the consequence of her honesty, she wishes to learn how she can avoid hurting others in the future.

Archive File 2

Both Nyx and Gloria have an interest in medicine, psychology and Originium, a somewhat broader range of interest compared to others. Although Nyx was born in a Victorian city that focused on artistry, with her father working in the pottery business, Nyx opted to follow her mother’s footsteps, who worked at the local hospital.

Her interest in Originium came about after Gloria had manifested. Both have been seen attending classes and reading up on Originium and its effects in Rhodes Island. As Gloria stated, “We want to know about Originium simply because we don’t want others to suffer because of it, as well as helping others become safer around it”. To say that Nyx and Gloria are determined to work hard and help others is an understatement.

On the subject of medicine and psychology, it seems the interests somewhat split with Nyx leaning more into studying psychology and Gloria studying medicine more often. Nyx appears to be up to speed on most mental disorders and knows how to deal with them in their proper manner while Gloria’s knowledge on medicine allows her to work in Rhodes Island’s infirmaries without trouble, assisting the doctors if she is available. Their efforts in both departments are commendable and their knowledge will prove fruitful to Rhodes Island’s advances in care.

When Gloria is fronting, the Arts unit becomes more effective at healing operators on the field, targeting multiple people at once. The healing Arts is immensely effective, allowing operators to stand longer and keep fighting. It also has the effect of making our operators feel more alert and thus more vigilant during their battles, increasing their performance in combat.

Archive File 3

For someone so young, Nyx shows a surprising aptitude for battle. Although Gloria has only had one month of combat experience and has focused mostly on first aid, Nyx seems to have the battlefield almost under her control. This is attributed to her Arts unit, which was discovered to have two functions based on whoever is currently fronting at the moment.

On the other hand, when Nyx is fronting the Arts unit becomes focused on keeping enemies back. When used on enemies, it puts them into a dreamlike state where their consciousness appears to dissociate from the current reality. This often causes them to give up fighting in bizarre ways, the most common of which involves them dropping their weapons and staring up at the sky, with some of them slowly wandering the area aimlessly. Why this happens is currently unknown, as Nyx refuses to divulge for the time being. Many operators who have been in field missions with Nyx have said it to be unnerving, unsure what to think when they see the people they were fighting with “suddenly fall asleep while awake”.

One notable incident happened during one of Nightmare’s field missions with Nyx fronting. While fighting a particularly dangerous enemy, she wound up forcing them into a REM state. This resulted in the enemy panicking as though experiencing vivid nightmares, constantly screaming for nonexistent entities to stop while begging for their life to be spared. It was only when they were knocked out that they ceased their panic. After this, Nyx was told not to do this again although it doesn’t seem like she was particularly affected by this event.

While walking back home from college to visit her parents, she decided to take a quick shortcut through one of Londinium’s districts to head there faster. However, she wound up getting caught in the middle of the Kazdel-Victoria crisis where the district she was in ended up getting caught in the middle of the artillery barrages. With nowhere else to go, Nyx was forced to run aimlessly through Londinium in an attempt to get away from the situation. Although mostly successful, the event left her deeply traumatized. In the state the district was in, she had to fend for herself no matter what.

Archive File 4

After a long time, Nyx and Gloria eventually agreed to share how they came to be. Upon their request, this file should also be kept secret from the general staff of Rhodes Island.

The next few days were described to be a living nightmare. She ran afoul with some of the district’s residents whose rationales were gradually deteriorating. Nyx wasn’t an exception as she also began to steal from others whenever she could just so she could make it to another day, even going as far as to attack others who attempted to steal from her. This all eventually culminated into her breakdown when one night, while hiding away in a shelter, someone had broken into it and attempted to steal her supplies. When Nyx tried to fight back, the attacker was far more aggressive than she thought and nearly killed her. Out of desperation, Nyx casted her Arts onto her attacker. Rather than putting them to sleep however, the blast was powerful enough to not only put her attacker to near death but also caused him to experience live nightmares. The end result was that the attacker was left screaming for help for the next few seconds before finally perishing.

Horrified by her actions, her stress finally broke her down. She underwent a severe mental and emotional breakdown before her mind eventually “quarantined” the stressor. For the next few minutes, Nyx had no success of calming down until she suddenly heard Gloria’s voice, who immediately began to reassure her and that everything will eventually be alright. After that, Gloria was able to help Nyx through the crisis however she could, right up until they joined Rhodes Island when they entered one of our buildings in Victoria.

The event has changed Nyx forever and it is certainly not something she’ll easily forget, but she is forever grateful that Gloria was born during her greatest time of need.

To this day, Nyx and Gloria have been continuously communicating to each other about their activities this way but after their therapy sessions, have also been figuring out alternative ways to break down their amnesiac barriers. This led to them creating a headspace of their own, which Gloria described to be a small bedroom in the middle of the night, with a nightlight on at all times. According to Gloria, this is what they find most comforting.

Promotional Record

Prior to them joining Rhodes Island, whenever Nyx and Gloria switched they often forgot about their alter’s activities during their time fronting. Gloria was the first to notice this problem when she spoke to Nyx during their time in Victoria, after hearing the latter ask what Gloria did. With this problem in mind, Gloria had the idea of using a journal she found to document both her and Nyx’s activities so that until they find proper shelter, their alter can remember what the other did so that they are aware of what happened.

Appointed as Assistant - Oh, it’s really bright in here… Doctor, do you mind if you turn down the lights a bit?

Dialogue

Normal text is Gloria speaking, italics is Nyx speaking.

Talk 1 - When we got into Rhodes Island, we weren’t sure what we were expecting… including the kindness that everyone was expressing! It’ll take a bit for Nyx to get used to, but I think she’ll also do just fine here!

Talk 2 - Our staff was given to us by Nyx’s dad. It has the power to sorta put people to sleep but to be honest, using the staff isn’t really a wise choice if we actually want to sleep…

Talk 3 - When I’m alone and Nyx is awake, we talk to each other. The same goes for Nyx too. Hm? Do people think it’s weird? I don’t think Nyx would care, as long as she has someone to talk to… and, well, she’s right for it.

Talk after Promotion 1 - There wasn’t a moment where I could get a good night’s rest back in Victoria… but when Gloria came along, I was finally able to rest. But… I do feel bad for making her go through those horrors. She’s a really brave person.

Talk after Promotion 2 - Oh, what’s that? Our Oripathy is worsening? Yes, that’s been a really big concern of ours… but we’re sure that Rhodes Island can do something. Right Nyx? … mhm.

Trust Talk 1 - Erm, let me apologize on Nyx’s behalf! She really didn’t mean to start that fight in the hallway, I promise! It’s just been a while since she properly talked to someone so her social skills are a bit rusty… but I promise, I’ll help her learn how to socialize better. Just please be patient with her?

Trust Talk 2 - If I’m allowed to be a little morbid here… you’re essentially the leader of Rhodes Island, right? If you die out there, I’d imagine that your operators… your friends, they wouldn’t take it well. Well, that’s why we’re here! We’ll protect you, and everyone, from the threats outside. That much we can promise.

Trust Talk 3 - You get tired from time to time, right? With that pile of work, surely you do lose a lot of sleep doing it… well, what if I have a solution to that? I can always just make you sleep for a day or two. All you have to do is say the word… and I’ll come right along with what you need… haha, just kidding. Too scary?

Idle - … sweet dreams.

Onboard - Ah, hello! I’m Gloria, but you’ve already seen our resume right? My headmate’s name is Nyx! Oh, but give her some time, she’s not used to talking to people yet… codename? Hmmm… well, I think Nyx would want something intimidating like Nightmare but… w-wait, you’re already registering it?! H-Hold on!

Watching Battle Record - So this is how you get stronger…? Intriguing…

Promotion 1 - When we came here, we thought we’d simply be patients getting treatment… but we’d never imagined that we’d be so much more…!

Promotion 2 - It feels like I’m not qualified for this promotion at all… but since Gloria insists, I’ll take it too. I’m just lucky to be alive at this point. So, whatever you need us to do, we’ll do it.

Appointed to Squad (S1) - Mhm, got it.

Appointed to Squad (S2) - I’ll do my best.

Appointed as Squad Leader (S1) - W-Wait, can I really do this alone?

Appointed as Squad Leader (S2) - You won’t be alone.

Depart (S1) - We’ll get a good night’s sleep after this, right…?

Depart (S2) - Curious… what kind of things will you pull off?

Begin Operation (S1) - I see them… over the horizon…

Begin Operation (S2) - So, these are the enemies we’re facing…

Selecting 1 (S1) - Are our supplies safe?

Selecting 1 (S2) - I’ll keep them safe.

Selecting 2 (S1) - I’m ready to fight!

Selecting 2 (S2) - Be sure you won’t regret this.

Deployment 1 (S1) - So this… is our battlefield…

Deployment 1 (S2) - I see no difference in battlefield.

Deployment 2 (S1) - I’ve only fought a few times, please bear with me…

Deployment 2 (S2) - It’s been a while since I’ve been somewhere like this.

In Battle 1 (S1) - Don’t get too rash now!

In Battle 1 (S2) - I’m only getting serious.

In Battle 2 (S1) - Keep yourselves calm!

In Battle 2 (S2) - Relax. You'll only be sleeping for a few seconds.

In Battle 3 (S1) - Have a nice rest!

In Battle 3 (S2) - Sweet dreams.

In Battle 4 (S1) - We’re still advancing? O-Okay!

In Battle 4 (S2) - Don’t waste our time.

4-Star (S1) - D-Doctor… did we just… do something incredible?

4-Star (S2) - So this is what total victory feels like…

3-Star (S1) - And that’s that! Good work everyone!

3-Star (S2) - It ends here. Well done.

2-Star (S1) - Ahhh, is anyone hurt?! I’ll be right there!

2-Star (S2) - We’ve won… but it’s costly. I’ll go clean up the mess.

Assigned to Facility - Where should we sit…

Failure (S1) - Are you hurt?! W-We need to run, now!

Failure (S2) - This… can’t be happening…

Tap - Ah-! Oi.

Trust Tap - Oh, hello! Hi.

Greeting - Good morning, Doctor! Are you well rested?

Title - Akunaitsu.

[kagdowo]

Ok to answer your tags. flynn is way too active (involved with the self/ self serving) and way too good at self care to be a seer. (also the idk about you until we've hung out enough and then i'll die for you but i'll never tell you but that's another thing entirely)

a good example of echo project seer would be cameron wilson from arches vn (seer of doom, dersite) or dave halloway (seer of time prospit)

Flynn just has too much of the akward cohabitation with his aspect too much of self imposed rules. and not enough of trying to foster pseudo mage like traits into other to be a seer.

altough yes you are right flynn is the ragest bitch to have ever raged. (you could argue that flynn ending and him spectatulary failing at self care by getting himself killed is a seerish trait. but the devil is in the details. seer hurts themselves with their opposite aspect. by misfiring their twin witch impulse (especially the women) terezi had relationship problems rose was alcoholic etc....

Mage get burned by their primary aspect while gaining instinctive non scholar insigth about it. (flynn get burned by rage when his fury against secrets and lie as well as general skepticism led him to be burned in the mine, murdoch get burned by blood with his abusive familly situation)

all in all flynn has all the akwardness the wanting to dance by their own rules the attuning to his aspect as personal insights of a mages.

i am literally a seer so i know one when i see one. P.S other fvn seers might include cordelia hendricks (seer of hope prospit) porter moore (seer of blood no idea of his lunar sway) and klaus from dawn chorus (seer of void, no idea for his sway either)

omg wow thank u so much for ur reaponse!! this was such a fun breakdown to read, and now that I’ve read it I wholeheartedly agree with u on flynn being a mage of rage.

i always had a hard time conceptualizing / understanding the mage class- like, i understood they suffer from their aspect in some way and in the process gain intuitive knowledge about it, but that was the extent of my understanding.

seers too- like, lmao now that i’m thinking about it i think i had an even looser grasp on seers than i had on mages! i didnt even know about the twin witch impulse stuff, or the stuff about fostering psuedo mages

it all makes perfect sense tho, and i’m a bit embarrassed i never really caught on to a lot of this before (especially embarrassed that i forgot seers were the passive to mages, not the other way around lol)

regardless tho, thanks so much for taking the time to write all this!! i especially love how u provided examples of other seers/mages in other fvn titles. (cameron as a seer of doom is so real but its also such a sad title, which tracks but still 😭)

i gotta ask if u’ve thought about the rest of the casts’ titles? i’ve thought about it a bit, but as shown, i don’t really have the greatest grasp of classpecting so a lot of what i have is really half baked

i think leo is definitely bloodbound and possible a prospit dreamer? or maybe he’s a prince and he’s just mirroring blood so he’s actually a prince of breath? or something?

carl feels possibly space or breath bound? maybe a page too?

jenna is either light or mind? as for class idrk

tj could be either void or hope? void cuz of syd and hope cuz of his faith and how he parallels flynn (lol i know very superficial). and as for his class… idk honestly lol

and chase… idk really lmao, maybe heart? since he’s sort of the heart of the narrative? don’t really know what class i’d give chase either tbh

and the sydney… probably doombound, right? or time, since his death sort of starts the clockdown towards the town’s undoing?

[cinnamilkekouhai]

Toman! Mikey Confessed to Komi! Reader!!

Reader has overcomed her communication disorder

Song suggested：Night Changes by One Direction

Author extra：HOLY SH- I WAS ALL BLUSHING WHEN I WROTE THIS CAUSE ITS UWJSHHAHS-

Everybody knows that Mikey is obsessed with u, i mean, who doesnt like u? U r beautiful, intelligent, talented and kind, he's always the first and eager one to participate in any activities u came up with, he doesnt care if the idea was dumb or not, he just likes to be with u. He will often watch u from afar, seeing u walking to school, seeing u paying attention to classes with that lovesick expression that made draken go 'wtf'.

He also gets jealousy very easily when somebody hit up on u, one time his entire mood was spoiled and the atmosphere is just so creepy when he destroyed every punching bag in his grandpa's dojo out of anger just because he saw a guy talking to u, he wanted to beat the shit out of that person but he had to tell himself to hold back because he doesnt wanna scare u. He clenched his fist in anger, he kept his eye on u until emma and hinata walked u home, then he followed u along with draken who was being dragged along-

When it comes to u, mikey was surprisingly very detailed, what r your likes and dislikes, fav food, fav place, fav store and even how many cat friends u've made, he always find a chance to get closer to u, so everytime he will invite u to hang out and maybe join the toman meeting, eventually his hardwork paid off, u now considered him as a bestfriend.

Even tho hes not the first friend u've made (emma and the girls r the first) but hes your closest male friend. U told him about this once when u guys were hanging out, and oh god mikey exe. stop working. He then showed off this news to his bestfriends, he texted them while kicking his legs like a highschool girl in excitement and his face is hella red.

[My-🔑]：Y/N CHAN JUST CALLED ME HER BESTFRIEND AHH

[Drak🥚]：Mikey i can hear u screaming from miles away

[BestbroMitsu]：Congrates Mikey!

[ImSoSmart]：Oi mikey, r u gonna tell her or what, and chifuyu, wtf r u doing

[I♥PekeJ]：Baji san, im just feeding PekeJ

[My-🔑]：Idk if i should tell her, If i confessed to her and she rejects me, i will be putting this friendship in danger.

[Takemichi]：But u continue to be love in silent isnt an option either! What if someone else confessed to her first, did u even see her locker?? All filled with love letters.

[My-🔑]：I just have to get rid of them all! Y/n chan didnt even need to read those stupid letters.

[Drak🥚]：Bro-, just go confess, seeing u like this kinda hurts me

[My-🔑]：Aww! Ken-chin r u worry about me??

[Drak🥚]：I DO NOT!

[BestbroMitsu]：But takemichi has a point tho, u cant just go on killing that person who confessed to her because u were afraid to ruin this relationship.

[I♥PekeJ]：I mean, look at y/n chan, shes so happy when she is talking to mikey. Maybe we should ask her if she like someone.

[ImSoSmart]：I almost forgot, where r the twins?

[Takemichi]：Souya and Nahoya? They say they r helping with the ramen thing if i remember.

The boys continue to chat while mikey is just lying down staring into the ceiling. He has a crush on u for 8 months but he wanted to go further to be more than just bestfriends, he have been trying so hard to make it not obvious that he likes u but your presence alone just drives him crazy, the way u talk and the way u look. He wanted to ask emma if u have someone in mind but afraid that this question will be soon heard into your ears, and then u will know about his crush on u and bro couldn't expect the worst.

'should i confessed? What if she rejects me? Then im putting this friendship in danger, i dont want that, i wanna stay close to her.. But takemitchy may be right.'

On the other hand, u were texting and chatting with the girls on the phone, u guys were talking about types of guys yall like and etc, then they suddenly turned to u.

[Emma♡]：Y/n Chan! Do u have someone in mind??

[Hina🌻]：Yea! Im curious too, i wonder what type of guys does a goddess like u take interest in!

[Senju🐑]：Oo i wanna know too

[Yuzuha🌸]：Spill the tea!

Tbh, u actually DO have someone in mind, its none other than your male BFF, mikey.

[Y/n Chan]：Yes..i actually liked someone, hes always been so close to me, he is considered the strongest, he is also caring, full of energy and a funny perso-

[All]：It's mikey isnt it?

[Y/n Chan]：EHH????? How did u guys know!?

[Emma♡]：Besides us, who is your most closest male friend? Yep its Mikey

[Hina🌻]：And y/n chan u r always smiling so happily when u r with him^^

[Yuzuha🌸]：And number one, who the hell can be considered the strongest other than mikey

[Senju🐑]：And number two, hes the first person in my mind when u said 'full of energy'

[Y/n Chan]：U-uhh im gonna go bed! Bye!

_Y/n Chan has logged off_

U cupped your cheeks in embarrassment, now the girls know u liked mikey and they r very excited, Especially emma, she knows her cute brother have been obsessed u and have been wanting to confess but hes afraid u will reject him, but the answer turn out to be better! U like him too, now mikey finally have the chance.

Emma Sprints to mikey's room, she opens the door to find mikey looking at your photo while mumbling 'should i confess' emma have seen this alot of times so who cares! She then showed mikey the text and told him u liked him too. Mikey was speechless, he couldn't process what happen, u really liked him too? Is this a dream? If this is a dream, dont wake him up, after asking emma a 100th times if this was an edited text, he then looked at your photo, picked up the phone and talked to his bestfriends about this, so now, the girls and boys r coming together to give u something special..

The next day, the sano sibling and draken showed up at your house as usual to walk to school together with u, on the way, u noticed a guy who is need of help for finding something. U look down at your feet and found a phone.

U picked it up and hand it to that person, the guy held your hand out of gratitude for finding his phone and u were startled by it, this action alone already made mikey's face darkened, but what the guy said later is what really getting on mikey's nerves.

"U look so pretty! Ive never seen someone so beautiful, Do u have a boyfriend? Do u wanna be mine? May i have your phone number and name?"

"Uhh sorry to interupt, but y/n chan we gotta go"

Emma dragged u away in disgust because number 1 that person held your hand without your consents, and number 2 she know her bff is pretty and aint no freaking way shes letting that creep ruining her brother's love life.

Both girls quickly headed their way to school, and back to mikey, shit he is really triggered- he went forward and straight up punched the guy right in face that sents him flying-

The guy looked up and was in face to face with mikey's full on killer face. Without hesitation, mikey step on the guys's face hard that caused him to fall again, he continuously stomped on it while giving him a dead warning.

"Dont u ever show up your face again infront of MY Future Wife, If it isnt for her i might have killed u on the spot. U dont wanna know what im capable of and what im gonna do to u if u ever breath in the same air as her again."

If draken werent there to stop him, mikey might have actually kill that person on 'accident', the guy scurried away while being deeply traumatized, even tho mikey is just a teenager, his atmosphere and strength itself already made a full grown adult break into cold sweat.

-School Lunchtime

U meet up with mikey behind the school to eat your lunch together, even a dummy could see how happy mikey is to be able to eat with u, and eat the bento U made for him. He only wants to feed u, cause this is what lovers do right? His cheeky smile just made your heart skip a beat for a few seconds, its pretty much the same day for u, but the things is, your other friends r no where to be found. U asked mikey where r the boys and he just shrugged his shoulder, u thought that they r probably busy with their school work.

It was evening when your school work was done and u headed down the path, u were expecting mikey to be there but u were instead greeted by your fav girl friends at the gate, and mikey and the boys was still not there, instead of hugging u like they usually do, emma put a blindfold on u, hinata and senju held each of your hand to make sure u dont fall, yuzuha carried your bag for u and emma lead the way to a certain place.

U r just so confuse at this point because u were totally not expecting this, u wanna know what happen and whats with the blindfold thingy.

"huh?? Where r we going? Whats this?"

"hehe, just follow us y/n chan! Dont trip"

Lmao the girls were giggling so hard that made u extra confuse but u still follow them, after 10 mins of walking, u have arrived and it what it feels like a field to u since the amount of grass u felt below your feet as u walk, emma sat u down a bench and by the time u realized it, it was already a little dark outside, infront of u was a small clif in an angle of the city down there, u were fascinated by the view and wanted to get up but yuzuha just pressed your shoulder down to let u stay on the bench.

Just when u thought the girl's intention where just to bring u here to see the view, emma suddenly said "shes here u can come out now" then a voice and multiple footsteps can be heard behind, u turned around and was facing a whole lot bushes of wild red roses and firefiles, toman was just standing there creating a large circle and mikey seems to be standing in the middle, holding what seems to be like a red rose. U stood up and walk towards him, wanting to know about the situation

Before u can even react, he was already near u and Kneeled on One knee?? U r flustered and turned your head to the right, facing the girls, who were all giggling so hard like a little child, u then turned you head to the left, looking at toman who were all happy and worked up, then u heard mikey whisper to u softly.

"hey y/n, pay attention to me.."

U turned your head back to mikey and had a face-to-face contact with his soft look, u then notice that he has his gang jacket hanging on his shoulder while he just had a simple bandage wrap around his stomach on his body. U held up one of your head to cover your mouth cause u r blushing so hard, which mikey finds it cute. He held on one of your hand started to speak loud and clear to everybody about his confession to u.

"U know, when i first met u, i thought it was blessing, from your appearance and personality, to the day i know u r the right one for me, i swear to all my life i will make u the most happiest girl ever, i promise to protect u and adore u. I've never knelt down before, you were my first. So y/n, will u be my girlfriend?"

With that saying, he hand u the rose while looking all lovesick at u, just then, toman suddenly started roaring cheering and clapping 'Get Togther! Get Together!', u lowered your head while holding onto the rose. Just as mikey thought u r gonna reject him, u said out the ans that its a dream for him to ever hear that, Especially from u.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend.."

Mikey could not believe his ears, he grabbed onto u and spin u around in circles, i dont think hes gonna stop until u told him to because u r getting a bit dizzy, everyone was cheering for the new couple and the girl friends were all just giving 'my child has grew up' vibe. Mikey hugged u tight and buried his face into your neck while whispering something into your ears.

"do u know how many times ive been dreaming of this? My dear y/n u made me so happy that u finally belong to me.."

With that aside, he placed a soft kiss on you, and man that was your first kiss! U r now covering your face with your palm, face and ears red, with mikey holding u in his arm not wanting to let go and toman's cheering kept roaring, making this night extremely memorable in your life.

This is truely a special surprise..

[another-trans-puppygirl]

I have been out for 4 years and never gave myself the space to express myself properly so i am making it for myself today

(first vent post so apologies for messiness lol)

tw// r*pe, transphobia, parental trauma, not sure what else but idk its heavy for me so just heads up

since i came out my life has changed insurmountably and it has all been terribly overwhelming. ive never really been one to use social media aside from horrifically embarrassing teenage shitposting, so ive just sort of let it all mount up and carried it around. i have a couple of transmasc house mates who i am terribly grateful for and consider them to be family but it has ultimately been terribly lonely not being aroud or talking to other transfems.

i will almost definitely talk about it in more detail on here at some point, but to keep things simple for now, i had very little control over how i came out to my family. it just sort of got revealed to my mum who insisted that my dad and brother (who didn't live with me, messy divorce) would never accept me and otherwise she was very unreactive initially. she feigned support whilst keeping it a secret from everyone in our immediate family but told lots of her friends for about 3 months but had expressed very negative views of trans women before so it felt very false to me. in january 2021 she decided she didnt support my "decision", as well as shouting at me for not telling her i had been r*ped and blamed everything on my dad. i didnt feel safe in her house anymore, so even though it was the middle of a covid-19 lockdown in the uk i had to take all of my belongings with me across almost the whole of england to get myself back to my uni campus. it was easily the worst day of my life and the hardest thing i ever had to do and i havent spoken to her since. i broke my collar bone as a young teenager and carrying all my stuff like that has made it hurt all the time, and i find it so hard not to think about it all whenever the pain is really bad. i was at university for animation, something i had always wanted to do my entire life. i could not bring myself to go to classes for the entire year so i deferred to the next. then i still couldnt bring myself to come in for most of the year. for some reason they didnt kick me out despite my attendance so i tried again the second year, and it went better but i was still really disappointed in myself. in my third year, things got complicated. i started to try really hard and believe i might be getting somewhere. i was the only person in my whole course that was doing traditional animation, my course was advertised as supporting traditional animation but i was not given a tutor so i was totally alone to try and fit my assignments to my limited skillset and resources. i had some ideas for projects i was really passionate about and started to develop and then it happened again and i got overwhelmed and decided i really couldnt do it anymore so i stopped going entirely. during this time i have also wrestled with the fact that i knew deep down that i am a lesbian. recently i have given up fighting it and have accepted that i am a lesbian, i think being on estrogen for one month as of today has played a big part in that, as it has rekindled my emotions and i just cannot fight that feeling anymore. but it has also brought on a terrible loneliness that i think i was suppressing beforehand too, and it has just made me feel incredibly lost. i am really happy somewhere in there about it, but it is overshadowed by a terrible sadness that i have let myself hide away this whole time. it has filled my heart to the brim with love and i feel like i have nowhere to put it and i just want to scream. i have been so scared to say any of this anywhere to anyone for fear of burdening people but i cant keep it inside anymore so i want to shout about it here because i have nowhere else to do it. so if youre reading this i am sorry for taking your time, just know it means the world that anyone even knows any of this and that bending your hypothetical ear will hopefully ease the load even if just for a moment.

[thewordsinthevoid]

Alright this is my THIRD time relistening to 5.1, lets dump ALL my thoughts then:

-first of all, one of the best opening story sequences. I love when unwell does this framing, and it is always well done. "We may be going home soon" is a line that disturbs the shit out of me, and once again unwell's sound design is absolutely incredible with all that the dogs do. I do also want to see silas get his teeth punched out.

-i could talk for hours about chester this episode. But i just want to say both the writing and pat kings performance were perfect for him. The way he aporoaches the house practicing what to say, and specifically stumbling through all their namea, then is immediately thrown off by the house being casual is so comedic and him. I really want to know how pat king manages to sound that pathetic, its amazing. Hes also amazing later in the episode where hes freaking out over norah and wes.

-"come in!" "Mrs. Harper? Its me? Chester Warren?" "What of me yelling come in didnt you understand?" The way the cast acts is so fhdjsjjdjdbsjs seeing dot tentatively accept chester is so nice, while she still keeps bullying him a bit throughout the episode. Its such a good dynamic on full display.

-abbie is a bastard. Its perfect.

-"lily-an"

-"i can eavesdrop from here!" "Tell him to speak up!" AND THEN CHESTER ACTUALLY TALKING LOUDER IS FHDJDKSKNFNDA. Once again character dynamics are shining this entire episode, and having chester play the straight man to their antics is a good role for him.

-"i dont know how to proceed!" Have you ever met a man so pathetic-

-chester is a 24/7 mental breakdown at this point. Yeah this is what i wanted from season 5.

-i should write a fic where chester reads rudys will and all that-

-When you arent exactly a found family because you fell apart and didnt know each other long enough but in the end your the only person left to stand over their body-

-Abbie getting their character development shown off this ENTIRE EPISODE we're so proud of them learning to handle their own emotions.

-also lily WES IS A KID TF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? Like yeah hes a ghost but come on. Tinee.

-chester refusing to enter the house is such a good character detail. My guy needs help.

-and now we're at the norah scene where she needs SO MUCH THERAPY

-once again applause for the sound design making Norahs voice have an interesting echo that isnt distracting!

-dot immediately asking Norah to stay there in rudys room absolutely made me and my friend start screaming at her. Im glad it turned out well but we both kind of just had a spittake

-btw dot actually sticking to joking about norah being her daughter is cute and hilarious. Like yee girl you got found familied

-wes being the only one to grive the way chester knows how to handle is so fucking funny to me actually-

-now this is the point of the episode for me that i freak out for. Chester not remembering ghosts or wes. I have a lot of general thoughts about this episode regarding it and 4.12s status, but i will say this specific scene mightve been good to include at the start of the new season rather than the end of last because i genuinely dont remember if wes and chester know each other. Im sure they should, and im sure chester does know about ghosts, but its been months since i heard the last few episodes, so i start to question my own knowledge. Its so unsettling and uncomfortable and i think seems like a good point of tying an audience effect to the plot. Like, its good metatextualy. And if im completely wrong and chester wasnt meant to know these things then. Idk. Bully me in my askbox

-regardless, once again im applauding pat king for the best, most pathetic performance ive ever seen

-chester and abbie getting into a theological debate is the type of content i need while im being forced to take a terrible theology class

-the mugs as a joke in this episode are goddamn hilarious. Its also nice how they manage to make some history with it, despite the audience not seeing it, its more in the little things of dot and lily joing its bc "shes fancy" in such a way it feels like they both know the joke. Its nice. Also wes getting fenwood house!!!!

-the way they manage to audibly convey dot walking over, snatching the alcohol of chesters hand, and drowning it is fucking skillfull and hilarious

-lily and norah getting the final mourning scene broke me. Norah crying broke me. I have nothing really to say about that scene other than it was good and made me wanna cry.

-the rain beginning is terrifying me. I am so ready for this season i am so hyped.

-FINAL THOUGHTS:

- if i could start season 5 in any way, it would be like this. This is all i wanted and more. The character dynamics and cast performances that (for me) are the pinnacle of unwell are on full display, its acknowledging a life changing event from the last season, and everything that happens in the episode is incredibly gripping on a character level

-the episode i think masterfully balances both a tone of mourning and humor, often getting into some darkly humorous places, and seems to be a concerted effort by the entire team to balance it. The writing, acting, design, all really make this tone work.

-can i keep mentioning the acting? The actors are incredible

-i get the feeling this might be chesters last appearance. I dont want it to be, but this feels like it could also be a send off to his character, and i wouldnt blame the writers if they did so, just so they had a smaller cast to focus on in the finale. I hope chester returns though, hes somehow become a bright spot in the show for me, and i blame his actor

-im also very concerned for what will happen to lily this season. Shes definitely struggling a lot with guilt, and i dont think shes going to be making the best choices. Regardless, i love her and norahs friendship, and she and chester also got a weird friendship that i think should lead the two to try to kill silas together.

-for my final thoughts, i deleted what i wrote about this and 4.12, but to summarize, i just hope the writers didnt feel pressured to write this episode, but that this episode serves as a good leadin to the rest of the season.

-i loved this episode, and it has already become one of my favorite. Unwell season 5 is delivering!

[thecoloroute]

Back To School Shopping List for A College Freshman Art Student

Hi guys I went to RISD a few years back but I do remember looking up this question. if you're not going to college just yet but are interested in art, it could be super useful to get comfortable using the tools/mediums below. even though i know most teachers give a materials list the first day, i needed to be prepared way ahead of time because of my anxiety. in my case, i was told id get a list in person, but walking in with an empty bag just felt wrong to me lol??? i ended up bringing a couple things, but missed a few vital essentials so here's a list of everything that i can think of. read to the end for my wagon epiphany that i think all art students should adopt (if they havent already)

-a notebook or planner (lined). some professors will hit you with extremely important info right away and wont always tell you to write down what they're saying but 90% of the time its important stuff you dont wanna miss

-a sketchbook. this can help if they throw a quick exercise at you and you have to write/draw something quickly. i blanked and didnt bring a sketchbook from home (because i was told id need to get certain types according to the teacher's specifications) but looking back idk why i didnt?? first days are hectic. actually the first week lol. anyways there were single sheets offered but honestly having your own right off the bat helps for organizational purposes, saves time, and IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, prevents the need to get up in front of everyone

-writing utensils. I'd recommend a nice pen and a set of drawing pencils (doesn't have to be anything crazy cause your teacher will most likely request that you buy more advanced/specific tools later on)

-headphones. every teacher is different, but usually art students will be given little tasks to work on during their first day in class at college. I was not clever enough to remember to pack my headphones, and the silence in a room full of focused art students can be especially unnerving when you're nervous. Hearing a student's questionable music taste can be equally unnerving, so make sure to pack those.

-snacks/drinks. this is kind of a branch off of the last one, cause again it can get sooooo quiet in these classrooms/studios. Pack snacks to prevent belly grumbles. I have heard it happen to many people in my classes and i am a victim as well. stay ready

-sunglasses. seems trivial but super important because you'll probably be walking around outside a lot your first day. this is the typical college commute, up down and around the streets.

-MONEY. I AM GOING TO PUT THIS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS WAS BY FAR MY BIGGEST MISTAKE LOL. UNFORTUNATELY, STAY STRAPPED WITH CASH OR CARD BCUZ! SOME OF THOSE ART SCHOOL PROFESSORS ARE A LIL BOUJEE AND WILL SEND U RIGHT TO THE CAMPUS ART STORE DAY ONE. It was very overwhelming for me, and some might think its common sense but idk my entire school career you always get some time after school to buy that stuff. they really sent us shopping ten minutes into class so be aware or look broke like i did.

Other than that, all the stuff you'll have to potentially purchase that day will be specified by the teacher. If you're worried about getting the wrong thing, don't be. The students get to go together and the teacher gives very specific details about the products to buy, which the campus store workers are well aware of. Off the top of my head, i remember being sent to get materials for a few different classes throughout the day. I'll list them here without the brand specifics (1. cause i dont know and 2. cause it may not match what your teacher will want anyway) just to give you a general idea.

-large ruler, metal, 1 yard (3 ft)

-clear plastic t-shaped ruler for drawing

-sketchbooks, drawing pads (of all sizes)

-a large portfolio (looks like a gigantic black totebag for big art papers)

-sewing kit

-string

-muslin fabric

-ink pens

-drawing pencils, different sizes

-drawing charcoal

-white paper drawing blender, a good eraser

-a toolbox for the drawing materials

-gouache paint

-brushes, pallets

-oil paint crayons

-a tool box

-ink pens like harry potter

That's pretty much it. If you'd like to grab some of these things before hand it should be fine, but for the most part id stick to waiting just to be safe.

Also a side note: I was a commuter so i could run home and grab my materials collected over my entire life but not every student is this lucky and some of their homes are thousands of miles away. if ur a traveling bird like them, it could be very VERY useful to pack some cool materials and tools like idk holographic paper or a jar of crystals because CAMPUS ART STORES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!

Also....... i know it sounds a little ridiculous but there were many many times i wished i had bought a wagon to transport things around campus. imagine me with a like 4ft portfolio bag the size of my body, a pencil toolbox, another toolbox for actual tools, my backpack, any projects i may have brought, a coffee if i am holding one??? and god forbid its a rainy day and i needed my umbrella lol.. it looks & feels difficult anyway trying to lug all the stuff art school requires.. so thats just some food for thought. Imagine a cute pink wagon?!??

anyways thats a wrap, have a lovely school year artists!

[sanchoyo]

arc v 51-65 thoughts! JACK IS HERE FINALLY!!!! also crow. also, prison arc. they sent 14 year olds to actual adult prison! the gang learned about classism, corruption in the system and that you cant Beat Cops with Smiles, but with your Fists :)

-ok. in the back end of the reiji v yuya duel yuya seems surprised to hear yuzu is okay, just taken. and im like. OH IS THAT WHY HES SO UPSET?? HE THOUGHT SHE WAS /DEAD/??? I mean. you know what thats fair. being turned into a piece of paper/cardboard(?) cards. would usually mean death I guess and he did think thats what happened to her. I still think its silly for him to be so pissed at reiji who by all accounts is the nicest ygo rich guy in the entire serieses history imo. but reiji did withhold some info to test yuya a lil bit. but yknow. still.

-…reiji's mom…TOLD the WORLD about the war/invaders AND THEY CANCELED. THE. TOURNAMENT. THEY CANCELED IT AND PRIORITIZED THE WORLDS SAFETY. we ARENT getting a FULL TOURNAMENT ARC??? IN YUGIOH??? i am shocked. no way… (I know I said itd be really funny if a protag didnt win the tournament, but they CANCELED IT which is somehow even funnier to me) I cannot say I expected this at all but im not MAD abt it

-see the next ep when yuya v his mom we learn his mom was a former GIRL GANG BOSS??? WHERE HAS /THAT/ ENERGY BEEN THIS WHOLE SERIES??? instead of being a creep towards kids she couldve been characterized like this! the story abt her and yuyas dad is pretty cute but if /i/ i had a hot mob boss wife i wouldnt be telling her to solve everything with smiles not violence :) i would pick up a fucking bat with her. whatever its FINE

-god the lil montage of yuzu's dad dueling with her in a lil baby pouch on his back and pausing a duel to change her diaper was SO CUTE. TF BEST YGO DAD FOR REAL GOD. hes a duel school teacher!!! why!! cant he come to help!!!! why are they just letting an 18-19 yr old lead the lancers into anOTHER DIMENSION. i dont CARE that hes thee most responsible smartest guy ever or whatever. my god

-shun and serena are remarkably chill abt all of this, hope we see more of them talking and hanging out and stuff. like serena looks just like his sister and yuya looks like his bestie and u KNOW thats SO weird to him?? but also they were on oppisite sides of the war! i want! more interactions! (very funny theyre both kinda trailing reiji. tbh if /i/ was stranded in another dimension he would be the person id be latching onto out of this cast, too. very nice and level headed guy)

-MY GOD. yugo is SO sweet, his calm explanation to yuzu and them just sittin and talking was great. (his reaction to yuzu implying he loves rin was also very very cute. and rins design AUGH I love it SO much. yuzu is still best arc v girl for me but rins design is my fav. GREEN.) JACK!!! MENTIONED!!!

-while they were talking it sorta explained yugo v yuto was a huge misunderstanding bc yuto thought yugo was the Fusion Enemy and yugo thought yuto was yuri. very very understandable and funny. and also im starting to think everyone in this series is colorblind bc they cant tell any of the yuzu/yuya counterparts apart by hair… (also, speaking of yuri, where did he GO. whts HE up to. weve barely gotten any of him and id like More Please)

-it's…been a minute since I watched 5ds. years. and I only watched it once, so I know im probably going to get details wrong, but aside from jack and crow, all other charas so far are arc v originals? like melissa and Guy that Looks Like This :>/ arent in 5ds right… the city kinda looks different to me, but maybe its just the animation looks newer… are we going to get an explanation to where yusei is? bc if jack and crow are in this…like, none of the protags are in arc v. are they busy. is this a universe without them.

-I forgot how dystopian 5ds was! stupid rich ppl calling the cops on yugo and yuzu for LOITERING and acting like the lower class is a Threat is a lil too real…damn. yugo is so nice immediately just pulling her along to help while shes with him ;_; personality wise hes my fav of the yu boys so far… (I feel like such a traitor for this. sorry to yuto bc zexal is my fav series. but we barely got to see him. whenever he comes back im sure we'll get..more... and sorry to yuya bc I Love Clowns….but I love silly lil bikenana boy…willing to bet when we get more yuri he might fight for that spot bc i LOVE a good villain too…we'll see…)

-YUZU'S REACTION TO YUGO DWHEEL DUEL IS SO FUNNY SHES LIKE. SO RATIONAL THO. my GOD she kept saying he should stop to duel on foot and yeah. playing yugioh (or, any card game) on a bike would be insanely hard. like you have to basically have your cards ALL memorized bc you gotta keep ur eyes ahead to drive, right, so ud only be able to glance? everyone in synchro world has insane memorizing skills. (I know to a degree you'd be able to make the d-wheels have a sort of autopilot, but no, we see them steering themselves and accelerating themselves…)

-the animation kept cutting to 3d models while they were dueling on their bikes and it did Not Look Very Good. it was still very fun.

-yuzu Learns About Corrupt Police and Society Today! She once again is the Real Protag to Me. reporter cowgirl ladys design is cute!

-what was the point of the duel if the cops were gonna just set up a blockade anyway tf. the entertainment aspect is SO fucked lmao bored rich ppl. too real. yugo u dont need to rise in society u gotta burn it all down its all fucked. -_-

-YUZU HAS BEEN IN SYNCHRO WORLD FOR (1) DAY AND IS NOW A WANTED CRIMINAL!!! HOT GIRL SUMMERRRRR. (and by proximity, yuya and serena lol)

-LAYRA SAW COPS AND FLIPPED OUT. understandable but also WHO HURT U. SHINGO IMMEDIATELY NOT GIVING A FUCK AND IS READY TO DUEL THE COPS. SERENA TOO. honestly very iconic of everybody great job. except yuya who is just baffled and not 100% ready to throw down. Get with the PROGRAM yuya u cant fight cops with smiles.

-you know I understanding theyre tryin to duel their way out of it but letting ppl from synchro see: fusion, action cards, and pendulum in ONE GO seems DANGEROUS.

-sorry, but shingo being arrested while yuya is like YAY ACTION DUEL LET ME ENTERTAIN U ^_^ IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. and everytime he asked layra if theyre okay they look like a goddamn espurr like O__O clearly NOT OK. VERY SCARED WITHOUT REIJI. WHY DID U BRING THIS TRAUMATIZED CHILD!!!

-there was a scene when yuya was like 'look at these beautiful ladies!" n his hippo girl monsters danced for an uncomfortably long time and the cops face kept being zoomed in on and he was like O__O this ep…i cant tell if its TRYING to make me laugh but it is, my god yuya u are making ME smile if no one else. for absolutely the Wrong Reason. the CHEERFUL TONE he takes on in this situation is SO NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE GRAVITY OF BEING. ARRESTED. this cop hes dueling is also the most tirest man ive ever seen which makes it so much better

-crows entrance was absolutely INCREDIBLE. WITH THE MOODY THUNDER AND ALL!! HOLY SHIT. just the sound of revving in the distance building up to it CROWWWWW I LOVE U. still probably most excited for jack but STILL.

-ohh, yugo know doesnt what his parents look like huh…and yuzu doesnt know what her mom looked like? her dad, the most cheerful dude in the world never talked abt her? weird.. theres still the mystery of yuzu having her bracelet…id say maybe all the yuya/yuzu counterparts might be the same but no, yuya has both parents so…cannot rly do anything with this info rn…

-ok just a small thought, but in the op and the eps so far, the guy whos always looking over security (idk his name yet but he looks like this :>/) is implied to be the villain, and ig reijis dad might be one of the final villains, but we havent had any Very Present Active villains aside from GROUPS of invaders that are p much faceless…I want more like. Present Villains. does that make sense. dennis doesnt count btw hes just some guy whos hangin out.

-shingo just introduced yuya as his APPRENTICE. PLEASE. i love him so much hes the funniest guy ever. crow also immediately being like 'idk abt all this dimension stuff! but u guys can hang out here for however long u need to :)' LOVE U CROW

-my god DENNIS can juggle and do silly little magic stuff. ok. ive been very lukewarm to him but thats very cute. also 'gon-chan' PLS.

-also one of the bills he got as a tip had that little clown guy from 5ds on it. was he a …person who was important enough to be on money? i dont remember him very much except he had like. a clown wife. cannot recall his place in the plot or anything else LMAO

-yugo and yuzu just trying to convince randos on the street the WAR IS COMING AND THEY CAN TRAVEL DIMENSIONS. AND GETTING LAUGHED AT. HELP THEM.

-im running into traffic to defend gons honor. hes so mad dennis made him the villain in their silly little roleplay HAHA. dennis is like a campy little guy, even when hes outed as a traitor later I seriously seriously doubt itll stick or he'll be a real threat. hes a silly guy..also I just like his monsters designs a lot. (also, he outed xyz to synchro dimension too LMAO DUDE. now they have all the summoning methods u guys can use…)

-gallager is just. he introduces himself as a promoter but him and nico smiley are both like. pimps for duelists right. KAHSDKJ. love his outfit so much tho

-so…where the HELL did reiji land….mildly concerned about now, its been a few…eps and he hasnt been shown…where did he go……..is he ok…….is he with jack….

-ILLEGAL DUEL BETTING. GON IS SOOO OFFENDED TOO. AND THEN IT CUTS TO SHUN IMMEDIATELY IN IT. epic illegal bird moment. poor gon is having to play peacekeeper and is the only reasonable person of this trio

-crow explaining the tops STOLE riding duels and make commoners do it for fun..my god they gentrified riding duels

-very grateful yuya is the one kinda looking after layra in reijis absence. makes perfect sense since he kinda is a big bro figure to the kids at the duel school too! it adds a real softness to yuya that I like (ok lets be real hes already been pretty soft. gooey and warm center, like a cookie) for a second it panned to serena and i was thinking pls dont let the only girl in the group be the mother hen but no. she completely ignores layra and decided to go out on her own (shingo following her lol) bc shes sick of sitting around waiting and her main goal, in her Words is to Find Yuzu too. would it be weird to ship them since they..look the same supposedly….JSDKFJK its tht question of what ud do if u met a clone of urself/alt version of urself. would u kiss or kill them. serena is a Kiss the Clone kinda girl and I respect that

-'friendship cup' is the funniest name ever for a tournament. YOU HAVE TO ENTER. TO DUEL JACK. JACK IS THE PRIZE. TROPHY WIFE JACK. shun and dennis both want to fight jack sooo bad its so funny. me too (affectionate) the fact dennis and shun both took to riding bikes and dueling at the same time SO fast is. incredible. and their lil outfits….

-oh wait. this means the earlier tournament being canceled is just gonna lead into this one isnt it HAHAH i knew it couldnt be ygo without a full tournament arc….its fine. I actually dont DISLIKE these type of arcs even if they arent my favorite

-not sure if ive said it but I Must mention it: yuyas magicians have nonbinary swag

-who the hell is shinji. youre not yusei. bootleg yusei….where did they PUT YUSEI!!! are all the protags busy like DAMN!! WHERE ARE THEY!!! I understand on a meta level u wouldnt want them all in the series to take away protagswag from yuya but this series literally lends itself to a bbt style crossover! the whole series is a crossover! they shouldve had a lil movie or smth. I want. another bbt movie. but w the newer protags too. lke all 8-9(??) ygo protags...itd be FUN

-crow being such a DAD to a ton of kids is cute. and probably the best person layra couldve come to stay with tbh, hes obv concerned abt them ;_; babies. also him and yuya dueling bc crow thinks feeding kids is more important than making them smile…and yuya thinks making them smile is more important…no yuya i gotta side with crow here LMAO crow called yuya privileged too JDSFHKJ

-NINJA GUY!!! I FORGOT HE WAS WITH THE LANCERS?? i mean ive been seein him in the op but STILL. good he got layra outta there. the cops were going to arrest a CHILD. i mean ik yuya is a child too but layra is a CHILD child not a teen yk. omg jail arc???

-speaking of arcs. is this series called arc v. because. arc 5. as in fifth arc of the yugioh series. I was speculating to why it was called that last time and had the realization thats prob why JKSHDFK

-god we actually are getting a…prison arc…this is INCREDIBLE. why werent they given the prison uniforms everyone else has. btw yuya now would be the PERFECT time to bring ur inner demon out to break out

-the bosses absurdly large brick stack of cards is insane. ive never seen so many so neatly stcked in one place…bro what if someone knocked them over that would be a nightmare…

-the lil story with the boss was fun (and felt appropriate given hes dueling yuya, who is all abt Smiles and Entertaining and hed lost that…like gettin his spark back) …so the moral here is u can make friends with fellow inmates n have solidarity but the cops are always enemies. understandable and real

-so yuya should become the new prison boss. right. he beat the old boss. but whatever I guess they didnt want yuya to be a crimeboss...cowards

-so whenever someone tries breaking out, their friends/the ppl left behind get punished and taken somewhere they 'never return from'…thats…terrifying and would be pretty efficient to anyone with any kind of morals, but idk, i feel like anyone would get really desperate and try it anyway at a certain point if conditions are bad enough, their fellow inmates be damned..

-sorry but it has to be said though. this mans hair is a lizard straight up. with the little hands and everything. is anyone fucking talking about this.

-my god yugo cannot whistle at all. everytime i see him and yuzu im like. they are so funny i love them both so much SJADFHKJ we go a few eps w/out them and im so sad… btw..yuya is in jail, i kinda expected this friendship cup thing to involve them more heavily, but the :>/ guy said yugo and yuzu would be arrested when they showed up for it too and im like. is it even gonna be an Event or Not. i mean I LOVE prison arc but. Wondering

-'hey crow if ur gonna leave here (prison) can I come too..' YUYA. DO YOU THINK CROW OF ALL PEOPLE IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS IN PRISON AND DITCH YOU ALL?? ITS CROW. CMON.

-yuya constantly looking like either the happiest dude ever (when its horribly inappropriate most of the time) or the saddest little kicked puppy alive makes me lose it. (and the third option of Murderously Possessed, but its been like 20 eps since weve seen that so..maybe the demon and yuto both peaced out. maybe they eloped. good for them)

-ok im going to need a gif of this PRONTO. shun how did you get there. HE SHOULDER DROPPED THIS MAN. XYZ BITCHES ARE BUILT DIFFERENT. XYZ REPRESENT!!!! he bodied like 15 more guards after this with his FISTS not even using his cards CMON LETS GOOO the prison break scene was AMAZING. also shingo grabbing some rare cards on the way out. best boy alert. why do his eyes glow in the dark.

-….hey shingo loses SO many duels its kind of funny. reminds me of watching manjoume from gx do the same thing. between them who has more losses. theyre both a certain…flavor of cringedude characters that i always end up liking…

btw Lightsworn Monster SPOTTED. I HAVE THIS CARD IN MY FAVORITE DECK!!! HIII FELIS!!!

-'what does a monster with 100 lp have to accomplish' -guy whos never heard of goddamn card effects. damn i thought these dudes were supposed to be the super efficient guards or whatever…anyway shun coming in with the literal xyz rescue was CUTE look at him functioning in a team ;w; good

-oh my god :>/ guy is named jean-michel roget. hes. hes french coded. u know wht i think i like my silly lil emoji name for him better. GOD DAMN they were SO close to escaping. CROW HAS KIDS AT HOME. ARGNH THEYRE TRYING TO SEPARATE SERENA TOO. BULLSHIT.

-REIJI FINALLY FINALLY SHOWING UP. WHERE WERE U. talking to a council I Guess. fucking negotiating. ok king of efficiency. he saved everyones asses with this. everyone say thank u reiji for everything, always.

-oh my god the friendship cup. theyre all being forced to demonstrate their abilities in the tournament . mandatory friendship cup. its a Full Circle. out of jail straight into the REAL tournament arc. i cant believe this.

-yuya vs jack. oh my god its going to happen. <- so excited to see jack i am going to throw UP

-crow called jack a traitor so. so they havent made up yet. I mean I FIGURED and yusei isnt HERE and i am :( I barely remember 5ds but I remember crow and jack bein silly together near the end…be FRIENDS or ELSE I will CRY

-yuzu's lil riding duel outfit is SO cute. pls. also yuzu crying with relief once she sees yuya is ok…baby ;_; theyre so Close to bein reunited….

-the problem with me trying to figure out how and why this series diverges from 5ds is that i remember Nothing Important from 5ds at all. i remember the dumbass details like that jack loved cup ramen JSDHKJ but its clearly an au (with..no yusei for some reason...) and im like. wondering if theyll ever explain WHY its an au from the original. or if im just supposed to Know. bc I Dont Yet

-I thought itd be really funny if jack DID defeat yuya in Three Turns like he said he was going to. and then he DOES. he beats him so hard yuya FLIES OFF HIS BIKE. AND BOUNCES. LMAO glad hes wearing a helmet at least. love u jack. also. i know it was probably framed in the way of jack being an asshole but I? kind of agree with him about this:

(I actually…said smth along these lines in my first arc v liveblog post:

almost word for word HAHA me and jack are on the same wavelength and he read yuya in like 10 seconds FLAT I am Amazed)

not that it's a BAD thing. he wants to make people happy, and it makes him happy in turn when theyre cheering for him! thats fine! (an irl example would be like, I enjoy making art for others to make them happy. but I also enjoy getting positive feedback for my own satisfaction!) absolutely nothing wrong with it!

HOWEVER. the impression I've gotten so far is that yuya gets upset when his opponent is the one being cheered for (a good example was the michio duel and that annoying trivia kid duel. he didnt seem real happy when the audience was rooting for them and not him!) as opposed to…I cant believe I'm comparing him to dennis but. the dennis v gon duel was a great example of what I think a more genuine entertainment duel should be…they were playing the roles of hero v villain, and dennis was great at improv there, quickly turning into the villain when Straight Man to his Comedy Guy routine Gon accused him of being the Real Villain in that situation. like he ROLLED with it and was perfectly fine with gon winning bc it suited their lil story and the audience loved it! I think entertainment dueling SHOULD be like that, like improv and acting bc you're entertaining ppl. ur a performer. u need to go w the flow more.

(Okay, this might not have been the best duel to show it off bc 1. hes dueling JACK of all ppl who declared hes gonna WIN and. he Will. 2. this is a situation where hes trying to showcase the strength of the lancers, so it wouldnt do to THROW the duel. but he couldve played into jacks dramatics a bit, made himself out to be more of a dramatic underdog, or a potential upstarter…for wanting to be an ENTERTAINER I want to see yuya channel his dramatics a LOT more than he does. esp w jack of all ppl!) to me it feels like yuya also ties a LOT of his self worth to how other ppl perceive his role in duels too which is Unhealthy (and again. is an extension of the 'smile when u want to cry' stuff imo, also pretty unhealthy) I…dont know if any of this is That Deep or theyre just trying to make jack seem like an asshole. I WANT it to be this deep bc its a REALLY interesting trait for a protag to have!

-kinda love how ppl in the Tops are dressed like old timey victorians. (also a lot of them have very western names) it just creates a very. unique vibe 

-can I also just say i LOVE LOVE LOVE the trope in ygo of 'person does what they think is the final finishing move, then theres smoke and everyone is like :0 and when the smoke clears, the person is still standing in the duel because of some trap/spell/effect' IT HAPPENS SO MUCH IN ARC V AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME.

-...jack gave this random child servant a card and told him it suited him and the kids mad jack 'changed' and got mad jack compared him to a 'weak card'...first off its gonna end up being smth like 'even weak cards have potential, none of them are useless, its like u, u feel like ur a low level but u also have potential' (which. very yusei thing btw) but also if my hero gave me a card i would literally be SO happy this kid is dumb asf. jack literally wasnt even being RUDE when he gave it to him and jack is usually SO Rude like CMON. 'wheeh i had NO cards and jack gave me one but its WEAK so i dont want it' this is called being ungrateful. i know hes a kid so I shouldnt be so annoyed but damn its rude. its a REALLY cute card too (not one I recognize and the text is in japanese but its a cute lil cyber girl with pink hair and a tuning fork and bc this is synchro I assume its a tuner monster or smth?)

-...went from jail to bougiest penthouse in the world. lmao and locked in his room....ur a rich persons pet now...'if u lose ur out of the penthouse' willing to bet its the same for jack since at the end of the day hes still. u know. a commons Guy cosplaying a bougie. funnily enough, the tops are saying 'as long as he keeps winning hes not a commons, hes one of us!' and the commons are saying 'hes a traitor who sold out!' then another commons guy being like 'NO jack is still OUR hero he doesnt belong to the tops!' etc. its like he cant fucking win no matter what he does! insane. jack ilu tho.

-...actually, first match is gon v crow. calling it now, gon loses his Stand In One Place shtick isnt gonna work v a motorcycle. i kinda think I want crow to win this tournament actually to duel jack KJHSDKJ i know itll prob be yuya but cmonnnn. its PERSONAL for crow. btw does this mean gon will be homeless for the rest of the friendship cup stuff since if u lose u get kicked outta the penthouse. where will he GO. ...tbh since crow has kids waiting at home for him it might be better if he loses first so he can take the losers of this tournament back home w him so they dont. go to jail again? maybe? we’ll see!!

very very fun stretch of eps, I binged SO many last night and tonight :3

[nitazenes]

we get intermittent interest in our commissions

i think you should just go for it, even if there isn’t much interest

it can be really fun

i think you’re art is good enough, you just don’t give yourself enough credit-

;o; that means a lot!!! I admire you as an artist so that. means a lot to me <3

youre not the first person to tell me i dont give myself enough credit for my artwork. In any form of art.

I'm an artschool dropout, fun fact! I was entirely self taught. I learned to draw by looking at pictures and copying it freehand. so it wasnt like tracing or anything (although tracing can be a good way to practice) i learned to look at something and get my interpretation of it on paper.

But it got to a point where i thought, maybe, *maybe* i have something... worth pursuing.

So I went to a. well. its a prestigious art school

my professor was a well known charcoal artist in our area, i actually admired him as an artist

the drawing I turned in for the start of our class was criticized for my lack of detail work (im kind of. cartoony, not a lot of details) but the second project I turned in, i did it wrong. I swORE he said we could do the project in ink or charcoal, i chose ink bc i had never drawn with ink and wanted to be more confident with it. it was just a drawing of my desk. it was criticized as childish and my shaky lines displayed a clear lack of confidence and that my grasp on the fundamentals were obviously underdeveloped.

mine was the only inked one within a bunch of charcoal drawings and I wouldnt have even put mine up with the other projects if i knew i would be getting this kind of criticism.

One day I was sick and missed the first day of perspective. in drawing there is single point perspective, two-point perspective, and three-point perspective. you have to know how to do single in order to learn how to do 2 and 3 point. I missed the first day on first point perspective. I came back to class the day they were doing second point perspective and everything i tried to draw my prof would stand over my shoulder and tell me i was doing it wrong (bc i didnt know how to do it) and when you try to explain two point perspective to someone who doesnt know single point perspective, it just sounds like jibberish nonsense. my prof began to get frustrated with me and I started to cry so he walked away leaving me there amongst my classmates crying bc i couldnt understand. So I went home that night and had to watch several youtube videos to teach myself how first and second point were done.

The last straw was a still life he set up. everything was black, grey, or white. it was a practice on values

this was fun for us because, that was something we could do. was look at something and draw a rough rendition of it.

he told us at the beginning of class to buy white pastel and white chalk, right? you would think i was supposed to use that to make those white objects white, right?

you can see the white pastel on the saddle. but this is what i had done when my prof comes over and tells me i wasnt supposed to use any white, i was only supposed to retract charcoal with a kneaded eraser so i had to redo it and he considered this a fail. when you draw with charcoal, when you are done, you must spray fixative over it so the charcoal does not lift off the paper and get everywhere, it preserves it basically, lol you can see how dark some of the things are in this drawing, thats many layers of charcoal

this is what it looks like with less layers.

so you can see that the black blacks are thick charcoal. i intentionally did NOT spray fixative on my art piece, waited until about half of the class put their drawings in the turn in pile, i turned mine in with no fixative so my drawing was most likely destroyed but it also would have gotten an annoying amount of charcoal on anyone who touched it and on any projects on top of it.

i never went back.

so im a little hard on myself when it comes to art me thinks lol

[warpspeedgirl]

You really don’t see how after I said no “I cant help with this today , I’m dealing with a lot and it’ll be better for you to handle this one on your own” and you responding with “ No thats why I just wanted you to ask Joseph what to do and you can tell me what he says” and “I just wanted to know if you could ask him for me if you could” is pushy?? I already said I can’t. You saying since I’m at the apartment with my boyfriend it would be better to have someone there because you have classes all day. We were on our way out to go talk after we had that telehealth appointment concerning my baby. You don’t know our schedule but you were assuming we were just going to be around not doing anything. And even if we were that's okay. I’m hosting and I cant help you. It was like my one day off too. You replying to previous messages saying “this was the question to ask Joseph” and “this was all the information and the location of the sound is in the video” after I just said I can’t help you is so freaking pushy and translates to you thinking I should’ve just done it, feeling like you needed to understand why I couldn’t, and that you already sent all the information so  I know as much about your experience as you do which is RIDICULOUS and selfish. You dont need to explaining why it was “just one thing you needed’. It doesn’t matter because I already said no. You said 'its okay i got it" but everything you said before that made it clear that you weren't expecting me to say no and didnt respect it. It doesnt matter if youre busy and had to make time to do it, I was busy too. There's no reason to keep explaining that you "just needed" when I already said no, its so beyond pushy and bratty. I said I cant help you. Nothing has to be wrong or off for me to say no. It doesn't make any sense. I can't explain your experience for you and I don't have to. I said no. It just wasn’t what you were expecting to hear and you confirmed that when you later admitted you couldn't understand why I said no and that “there was no reason for it to be an issue” "there was no reason for me not to be able to ask" Okay??? You asked and I said sorry I cant and went about my day. pressing that it was an issue for the entire apartment when it wasn’t. The reason why It turned into an issue was because I said no. It wasn't an issue before that. No one said you couldnt ask or that it was a problem that you did. Its coming across like youre just saying that implying that I'M being difficult because I said no and you wanted me to do it. There was no issue. You asked, I said I cant help, you went on and on and on and on. “There was no reason for it to be an issue”- your projecting and its showing a lot about you. Who says stuff like that in response to a previous no??? Its so high handed and ugly and dismissive of my feelings and opinion. Oh my god. It’s bratty. Youre not the deciding factor in what’s an issue or not, especially when there was no issue.

You only started saying that because me saying no and my reaction to you pressing me about it made you feel like you asking ‘for just one thing for both of us’ was an issue. I dont not care that you're hearing disturbing sounds in your room but the problem and solution, effects you. Your behavior after I said no was the issue. I have my own stuff going on, and I don’t need to explain my life in detail to you in detail for you to hear and understand “I cant help you, it'll be better if you handle this on going problem (in YOUR room), on your own”. If I said yes you wouldn’t have kept pushing any of this. It was an ongoing issue in your room that you needed to find out about. I’m not going down to the leasing office and explaining your situation with videos and messages for you the morning I found out about it. Like seriously? Ugh. The way you originally sent everything was a lot and I was never going to relay all of that. I’m busy and it’s not my business or responsibility no matter how much you kpt trying to convince me that it was retroactively and with third party opinions. Because I didnt respond th way you were expecting/assuming me to. 

So it was not unreasonable to think that they’d ask for other info pertaining to why you think it’s rats if I went down there or called for you. That’s why you originally sent me all that information. There was a good chance they were going to ask for it and I wouldn’t have known what to say because it’s not my experience. You couldn’t have known “you were not going to have to explain all of that Adisa”. It doesn’t make any sense. It was not an issue for “our apartment” yet in the least and you kept trying to get me to agree with you on that when it was clear that I don’t. I wasn’t trying to get you to agree with me that it’s not because I know how you are. I just said I couldn’t help and dropped it.

What is there to genuinely understand or if you’re trying to get your quick across don’t keep saying there’s no reason. It was just one thing that I needed you to do. I knew you could do it. There’s only so many places for the conversation to go after all of that, especially if you’re not respecting someone boundary I was still trying to understand you after all of that and I really need to like what are you expecting from people? You can’t talk to people like that and then expect them not to have a reaction especially when you’re standing in the fact that you thought I should’ve done it or you thought it wasn’t that big and especially when you keep saying that “please don’t think it’s just my thing, I knew you could do it”. No you’re telling yourself and trying to tell me that you knew I could do it because I wouldn’t. It was just one thing I need” like there’s only so many for the conversation to go after that. clearly You weren’t genuinely understanding and I didn’t accuse you about shit even though it was very clear I thought maybe at first this was all misunderstanding but after time I know I don’t think it was misunderstanding I think you didn’t wanna understand and if I said yes, none of this would’ve been happening.

I never said you asking me was a big deal. The task itself was out of the way and everything after that turned into a big deal. My response was no. If it just ended there this wouldn’t have been a big deal. The fact that you told me again and again that asking the question wasn’t a big deal, just said a lot about your character and how much of this is flying over your head. Me saying no shouldn’t equate to- this is a big deal to ask. “It’s not a big deal to ask” who said it was? You asked and I said no. Should be end of story.

And okay if you say you’ll handle the things you need to, I know that too, so do that. If you already handled it why are you still saying HOURS later that it was just one thing you needed and you couldn’t understand why I didn’t do it and bringing up that your therapist also said it wasn’t a big deal to ask.

“It really does. I only was answering you what you were asking. After you told me what it was I didn’t have any more questions really.” -What??? This is so confusing and yes the way you word things in your texts are OFTEN confusing. I didn’t ask you anything, there was nothing for you to answer. You asked ME if I could help you and I couldn’t. There shouldn’t have been a discussion or accusations and passive aggressive comments and your opinions about why I could’ve done it and not understanding why I said no after that. Why is this something along the lines of “I didn’t have any more questions really” about?? I said no. Stop. This really feels like YOU just don’t want to understand because you weren’t expecting me to say no and not agree that it’s a whole issue for the apartment that I needed to handle as soon as you wanted me to. This is so so so ridiculous.

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

Are we gonna ignore the fact he set kids hairs on fire? All because they bullied him. I mean I understand self-defense but. They all probably died because of you. Imagine their parents coming to pick them up and the kids are all screaming, crying in pain as they slowly die. The look on the parents face. They're all probably still looking for the one who did this. Or they all commited die because of depression after their child died.

It doesnt matter Kokichi. Atua forgives him. He forgives everyone!

So were just gonna let it slide.... First we let Toko be a member of future foundation and as we all know. She's killed over 30 men. And then we all forgive class 77 for basically filling the entire world with despair.

HELL WE'VE EVEN FORGIVEN TERUTERU FOR MURDERING CHILDREN!!!! BUT WHEN I LIE. EVERYONE FUCKING HATES ME AND TRIES TO KILL ME. SO WE DONT FORGIVE LIARS BUT PSYCHO'S AND CHILD MURDERERS AND REMNANTS OF DESPAIR GO OFF SCOT-FUCKING-FREE. AND DONT GET ME STARTED WITH THE WARRIORS OF HOPE. FUCKING KILLING THEIR OWN PARENTS. HELL THEY EVEN KILLED OTHER PARENTS. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAVING KIDS BUT YOU TRAUMATIZED THEM BY FUCKING MURDERING THEIR PARENTS INFRONT OF THEM!!!!

WE DIDNT WANT OTHERS TO SUFFER LIKE WE DIIIIDDDD!!!!!

Ok gotta admit. He has a point with me. Hell. I'm still killing people every day- Oops.

W-WE HAD NO CONTROL OVER OUR BODYS!!!! ITS NOT OUR FAULT!!!

And the only reason nobody likes you! Is because your using these lies to intentionally hurt others! You've been doing it for years!! You never apologise for lying either!!!

Supreme leaders like me dont have to apologise.

*Suddenly the room bursts into Arguments.*

S-Stop it!! All of you!! I-I know I shouldnt poke my nose where it doesnt belong but... I dont wanna see you guys fighting!! I-It hurts to see Ultimates fight and argue with eachother and not getting along... I may not've been there for whats happened but I know that its the past and theirs nothing we can do about it!! So lets put it behind us and keep moving forward!

Maybe I should've skipped that part.

Actually the children that I set on fire didn't die. Mama had hydrokinesis and was able to save them. I guess she didn't add that part in. Also Kokichi they didn't just bully me, they fucking harassed me everyday before that incident. I won't go into detail of what they did but I will say that after that day they never laid a finger on me again.

[jet-bradley]

the honestly biggest reason for this is just that by the nature of being a smaller community... it feels like a panopticon. like, tron is one of the most relaxing fandoms i've been in for a lot of reasons. but at this point, even if we don't talk, i know of yall well enough that if i actually were to post something genuinely weird--im not talking "about the game that got retconned", i'm not even talking about GITM fan-content, like, genuinely really weird--even if it's harmless-weird? it feels like a class presentation more than just Posting Online For Strangers.

the other reasons are a lot more personal and get kind of rambly, but they do tie back into this point. so. under the cut:

i mention every now and then that i've got MH stuff going on that i don't talk about on this website. it's hardly really a secret, a lot of my friends know details, hell i post fanfic about it sometimes, and i don't link to it over here, but... you can figure it out, i think. but i keep that stuff off my tumblr. there's a few reasons for this:

i have online friends from the aerospace community on this website, and i do not feel comfortable discussing this around them. even if i never work with them, and they never reveal their IRL identities to me, and i never reveal mine to them. this is a hard barrier i've drawn

some of my friends know me in spaces that are shared with IRLs, and i do not want them discussing this around them

it's my damn business

the thing is, when i got into this fandom, what i didnt realize was how much tron deals with themes that directly relate to the MH stuff i dont talk about. it's present fairly obviously in at least one tron media, and it's present to a lesser extent in another, but some of those themes you could honestly argue exist in the original film. (like, you'd be batshit to say that about the original film in a vacuum, but the seeds for these ideas came from the original movie, imo.) it completely shapes how i approach tron at this point.

what's really difficult about this, for me, is that while tron deals with this like, at least twice (one and a half times, more like), it doesn't do it in a way that most people would... approve of? to the point where a lot of advice for dealing with these subjects, especially the way tron does it, is just... not to. because it's not great, because other medias do it better, because If You Don't Know What You're Talking About, You Shouldn't.

personally, i'm kind of opposed to the idea that all media about [thing] has to be perfect, anyways... but i can't really talk about that in detail without giving examples, and i can't do that without completely removing the mask, and i'd like to pretend it isn't slipping off my face entirely at this point.

the thing here that i do want to attack is this idea that you shouldn't write about themes you haven't lived. because ultimately, for people like me, who for whatever reason do not want to tell the entire world wide web everything that's wrong with us, we end up having to hide not JUST that part of ourselves, which is difficult enough, but the most cutting, meaningful parts of our creative work. fiction, original or fanworks or whatever, is a classic way to cope with stuff you don't want to talk about. even the driest, most scientific explanation of what i go through becomes a confession if i'm the one who's saying it. fiction gives me a lot more space to breathe... and honestly some benefit of the doubt that people don't always give people with the thing i've got.

so why don't i just take off the mask and tell everyone what's wrong with me? it's kind of an open secret anyways, why NOT just tell everyone? because then what happens? it solves the problem for me, yeah, but now everything you say has this weight to it. because the real problem--that people only hand the microphone to people who are in a place to be 100% open about everything that makes them vulnerable--is still there.

so because i become someone who's open in the fandom about it, i become the one of the only people on tronblr who's Allowed to talk about it. which is fucked up, but also - i KNOW i am not the only person on tronblr who has what i have. i've TALKED to others. hell, i know a few who are open about it here, but don't talk about it. but that's how it is with these topics in fandoms: the loudest people become the "fandom experts" on it.

and this issue is compounded with smaller fandoms! i have been in medium-to-large fandom servers where i got called the "jet bradley expert." and like, because what? because i talk the most about tron 2.0? because i have the canon url? almost everyone else in the tron 2.0 side of the fandom has been here longer than me, by years if not decades! most of the stuff i write about him isn't even that good! i created an entire blog to catalog tron 2.0's emails because i realized I MISREAD THEM for most of my playthroughs and posted inaccurate stuff about jet's character AND NO ONE STOPPED ME BECAUSE I HAVE A CANON URL.

imagine this issue with something that actually fucking matters, like a serious mental disorder! i've seen this happen in other fandoms, for the same disorder! one person who got diagnosed with [BLANK] six months ago goes around and spreads blatant unsourced misinformation about the thing i've lived with for eight years - and if i correct them on it i look like the asshole!

if you want more "representation" of sensitive topics like this, you HAVE to be okay with it coming from people who don't openly have it. i shouldn't have to throw my mask in the trash to express myself through FICTION. and honestly?

you have to be okay with it not being good representation. living with serious MH problems like this means sometimes you get the scary symptoms that the greater community likes to distance them from. most of us who live with this stuff aren't "good representation". hell, maybe if i was, i'd actually talk about it.

to close this out:

the tron fandom isn't particularly bad about any of this stuff. it's one of the kinder fandoms i've been in. it just unfortunately deals with stuff that i don't want to talk about... to the point where i don't feel comfortable talking about tron on my tron blog sometimes.

combining that with the general size of the fandom, and it feels like i dont have any space to just... be. even if people mean well.

but ultimately? beyond the tron fandom, or fandom in general: i think we as a society need to relearn how to let people keep their secrets, and how to have questions about each other that don't get answered.

dont take this the wrong way, because it absolutely isnt personal, like i love all my friends here, but... im considering leaving the tron fandom on tumblr

[unlikelymilkshakedream]

Teasing him

A/N: felt inspired to write so here ya go. Like for part 2!! Hope you enjoy 😉:)

It had been a long week, finally Friday was here, and me and my boyfriend, Sapnap, could not be happier about this little detail. I had barely seen him all week and I've been stressed beyond words due to finals and my job.

I saw him in the halls Friday morning and went up to him with exciting news.

"Hey, I have big news," I told him to which he looked at me suspiciously.

"Mmkay, what's up?" He asked me cautiously.

"Well, since you don't have plans tonight, and it's my off weekend at work..." I took a step closer to him, "and my parents will be gone for the entire weekend, I was wondering if you wanted to come over," I whispered.

To this, he smiled and his eyes seemed to have darkened a shade.

"Is that so? Well in that case I would love to come over tonight." He said as he took a step closer to me and put his hand around my waist, pulling me into him. "And what exactly will we be doing?" He smirked

I bit my lip. "What do you wanna do? I figured we could play some board games, watch a movie, maybe," I said.

"Well, I wanna do whatever you wanna do, and oh, so much more," I giggled quietly.

"Well, what if I told you, that, I-" I put myself right against him, leaned into his ear and whispered, "I want you to fuck me until I only know your name, and I want you to use me for your pleasure," I bit his ear and sucked on it as I heard him take in a sharp breathe.

"Fuck, baby. Why don't we skip right now." I pulled away and saw his pupils were almost completely dilated. I didnt even need to look down because I could feel his raging hard on against my thigh.

"Haha, nice try." I said as I let my arms fall away from him. "I unfortunately have to go to chemistry today, otherwise maybe I would." As I was turning to leave, he grabbed my arm and pushed me against the lockers behind me, not harsh, but enough to know he was aroused.

"You cannot say something like that to me just to leave right away." I giggled as I bit my lip, pouting slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I promise it'll be worth the wait." I smirked at him just as the bell rang.

"Whats going on here?" Mrs. Norberry came into the hallway and Sapnap took a step back from me. "You're both late to class," ratty old bitch I thought in my head.

"Sorry, I'm on my way there now." I smirked and gave Sapnap one last kiss and I snuck past him to go to class. He just stood there and glared at me.

"And you?" Mrs. Norberry turned to Sapnap.

"Yeah yeah, I'm going im going." I giggled as I made my way to class, knowing the hell I just put him through. This was going to be a very long weekend.

[2jaeh]

INSUFFERABLE l  KIM DOYOUNG 

GENRE: mature theme, slight smut

WARNINGS: choking, dom themes, cursing

asshole! Doyoung , enemies to ???

Words : 4k 

You’re put in a group project with the most annoying pretentious jerk your law class had to offer. Immediately Doyoung tries to boss you around but you being you, you weren’t taking his shit...soon enough he finds out he can dominate you after all...in a very different way. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Theres no fucking way...no fucking way” you groaned looking at your group project list, eyes narrowing on possibly the worst people within your course year. Slumping in your seat you half smiled at the girl who approached you, one of your fellow members from project hell. 

“Heyyy y/n I think we're in a group together” she grinned and took a seat next to you, flipping her red hair over her shoulder and checked herself out in her mirror covered cellphone. 

Dami was probably the most narcissistic person you'd ever met and being in law, it was definitely a common trait around here. Dami sat up and began tapping you on your shoulder frantically “He’s in our group! Kim Doyoung is in our group” the two of you watched as the dark haired man conversed with the lecturer, casually turning back to look at the table where you guys sat, in annoyance. 

“That guy is such a prick” a guy who slid in the desk behind you, Seungmin said and Dami nodded in agreeance as you all continued to watch him. 

“Ive never really spoken to him before” you cocked your head, “What’s so annoying about him?” 

This time another group member joined in, a quieter girl who normally sat in the back Jisoo, cleared her throat, “He is really bossy and only likes to do things his own way.”

‘Well he is about to meet his worst nightmare’ you thought knowing nothing pissed you off more than someone telling you what to do. 

The muffled conversations around you began to soften as you felt someone stand over you and drop a file on your desk. Looking up, you locked eyes with the one and only Kim Doyoung, dressed in his usual black slacks, black turtleneck and clear rimmed spectacles. He raised his eyebrow at you as if you were supposed to guess what he wanted.

“What ?” you challenged him, folding your arms across your chest and returned an eyebrow raise. 

Doyoung sighed in annoyance, his long slender fingers moved across the file and opened it swiftly, “I want you to do roll call” he said coldly. 

A lump formed in your throat. You felt like you were being talked down to, it was something that infuriated the hell out of you. He wasn't older than you, nor was he getting better grades than you but somehow he had a superiority complex. Dami quickly nudged you and you rolled your eyes, “Seungmin ?”

“Here!” 

“Jisoo ?” you placed a tick as you called out each name. 

“Dami, Jangjun…?” you looked around and noticed that the usually loud comedic relief in your classroom was nowhere to be seen. 

“I think Jangjun is late, i’ll text him” Seungmin sighed and pulled out his phone. You turned back to the roll call sheet and pursed your lips, “Kim Doyoung ?” 

Doyoung just looked down at you, sucking in his bottom lip and raised that damn eyebrow at you again. 

“You need to say ‘here’ do you not know how roll call works ?” you tested him and he rolled his eyes and sighed, “here.” 

You smiled to yourself, completely satisfied with pissing him off when your internal celebration was interrupted by an out of breath Jangjun, who threw his bag on the floor and took a seat on Dami’s desk. Doyoung looked at him disgustingly, and even though you too were obviously annoyed by Jangjun’s tardiness, was that reaction really necessary ?

“Be on time” Doyoung sneered and grabbed the roll call file making his way back to the lecturer. 

“Fuck Kim Doyoung is in this group ?” Jangjun groaned, sharing the sentiments of the entire meeting. You couldnt believe these were the people you had to work with for the week. It's like you could almost feel an outburst waiting to happen, whether it be from you or Kim Doyoung. 

Doyoung returned and took out his phone, not really looking at any of you as he spoke, “we should make a group chat to update each other on work”

The group hastily shared each other's details and Doyoung created the chat and pinned a set of three rules. 

The first was the group was strictly to be used for the project, no small talk or any other messages that weren't related to the project. The second rule was that no one talks about the group content in private chats as it will cause confusion among members. Lastly you weren't allowed to message after 9pm unless it was an emergency, a very serious emergency. 

“Dang is this the military ?” Jangjun snickered as Seungmin and Dami tried their best to hide their laughs. It was typical of people like Dami and Jangjun to not take anything seriously. Their families were well off and they were just studying just for a piece of paper you call a degree. Doyoung couldn't even hide his annoyance, not like he ever did but he seemed particularly pissed off today. 

“Look, just follow the rules and all of you get a free pass and then we never have to speak to each other again” Doyoung spat and made his way to the exit leaving the rest of you in utter shock. 

———

The first two days were utter hell as Doyoung tried to take control of almost every aspect of the project and frankly you didn't even mind because his business proposal was flawless, it was just the way he spoke to all of you that drove you insane. 

“Dami its not fucking rocket science all you need to do is make a clientele spreadsheet with the mock list the professor gave us” Doyoung didnt even lift his head from his laptop, unaware of the impact his words had on her. 

Dami pushed away from the desk and her eyes began to well up and before you knew it she was running out of the library, with Jisoo and Seungmin following quickly out of concern. 

“Nice move asshole” you rolled your eyes, continuing to work on your laptop. 

Doyoung peered up and pushed his spectacles up, “what was that?” 

“I said nice move asshole, do you intend to talk to your future clients like that?” He initiated a different kind of anger from you but you managed to keep your cool. Doyoung shrugged as if what he had said to Dami had not carried any weight and continued typing away. 

A few minutes of the members disappearance quickly turned to an hour and Doyoung’s nonchalance about the whole ordeal really ticked you off to the point of slamming your laptop closed and pushed back from the desk. 

Doyoung quirked his eyebrow at you, “Is something wrong ?” 

“Is something wrong” you mimicked him, “Jangjun hasn't come in today because you sent him on multiple errands, and you just made Dami cry over something so ridiculous”

Doyoung sat back in his seat and rubbed his temples, “They're all freeloaders, you and I are the only ones doing work, why do you care so much about them?” 

“Basic human fucking decency maybe?” you groaned and ran your fingers through your hair, “listen im not like them, i'm not gonna take shit from you”

“Sure”

“Youre a fucking asshole Kim Doyoung.” 

—-

You lay in bed and replayed that scene with Doyoung in your head multiple times. He was so unbothered by your antics nor did he care about anyone's feelings within the group. He was cold, heartless all he thought about was himself. His cold expression was practically engraved in your head, spending all these hours with him was really not your favourite pastime. 

Group 7 gc 7:00pm

KDY: I posted a schedule for tomorrow we will be working in pairs on the highlighted sections. 

You took a look at his document and groaned when you saw your name placed next to his. There was no way, no way in hell you want to work with him one on one. Not caring about breaking his rule, you pulled up a private chat with him and began expressing your concerns. 

y/n  x  KDY : 7:10pm 

Y/N: Hi, there's no fucking way in hell am I working with you. Change It. 

KDY: I said no private chats and no, I'm not changing it. 

Y/N: Wouldn't it be better for us to split and have the others actually DO work for once ?

KDY: I barely gave them room for error, we're going to be the most anyway and besides, I'd prefer someone who can handle...my personality. 

Y/N: …..so you agree..you are an asshole ?

KDY: I give people a reality check that's all..

Y/N: whatever makes you sleep at night...can I atleast choose our work venue because If I were stuck in a library again with you I might kill you. 

KDY: haha..

KDY: sure. 

Y/N: mango drop cafe, 10am. 

KDY: cool, see you then. 

‘Haha’. You had no idea why that text in particular riled you up. Did he find all of this amusing ? Was he making everyone's life a living hell because he enjoyed it ? You stared at his messages and somehow ended up on his profile picture. He was leaning against a railing dressed in all black with his hooded eyes concentrated on the camera lense, Your realization of how attractive he was came from the fact that you stared at the picture for a good 20 minutes. You wondered who took the picture, a girlfriend maybe ? You shook your head. He seemed too uptight to be getting laid. You sighed, closing your phone and awaited yet another day with the insufferable gorgeous man that was Kim Doyoung. 

You arrived quite early at the cafe but of course Doyoung was here before you, already typing away at his laptop, in his usual attire. You greeted the barista and placed an order for a chilled cafe latte before making your way over to him. 

“Hey” you said simply and took a seat opposite him in the booth. Doyoung’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice and made room for your books on the table.

“You're here early” 

“You're already picking a fight with me?” you said casually setting up your workspace. 

Doyoung chuckled under his breath and shook his head, “I just didn't expect you this early y/n it's not that serious.” 

You ignored his words and got straight to work, not in the mood to play his little game. You felt Doyoung look at you a few times. You weren't sure if it were to check if youre doing the right thing or he was just looking at you. 

“Well i'm done with my part” you stretched your arms above your head and yawned. 

“Yeah I'm pretty much done too, Do you want another cup of coffee ?” Doyoung offered pointing to your empty cup. You were taken back by his softer demeanor but quickly nodded, “uh yeah sure.” 

Doyoung returned carrying a tray of two fresh cups of coffee and a slice of cheesecake. Setting everything down he handed you the extra fork and placed the cheesecake in the middle of the table to make it easier to share. 

“H-how much do I owe you ?” You fumbled in your bag for your wallet. 

“It's okay, it's my treat” Doyoung replied, placing a piece of cheesecake in his mouth and slowly licking the fork clean. You gulped as his tongue darted out carefully licking the cream from the metal, not leaving any residue behind. You had no idea what the hell was going on but you felt hot, almost claustrophobic. 

“You're okay?” Doyoung asked innocently, unaware of what he was doing to you. 

“Why are you being...nice?” You questioned, knitting your eyebrows together as the man continued to act as if this was his usual behavior. 

Doyoung pursed his lips and placed the fork on the plate, “You want me to be mean to you?”

“No I just don't get-”

“I apologized to Dami and she told me she only overreacted because the guy she likes, Seungmin was there” Doyoung explained and removed his spectacles, “she was embarrassed to ask anyone for help, I paired them up for today.”

“Wait wha-”

“Also Jangjun works at the campus radio” Doyoung continued, “I had only found out the day we all met, I gave him tasks that will allow him more flexibility, that way he doesn't have to join group sessions often.” 

You blinked, unable to form any words in order to reply to Doyoung. Especially after he chuckled at your speechlessness, knowing you didn't bother getting his side of the story at first. 

“You were right y/n I dont have to be an asshole all the time, I just like to get my work done” He shrugged. You kept eye contact with him but somehow it felt as if he were still toying with you, waiting on your next reaction. He seemed like he played this game often, making sure he always had the upper hand. Doyoung seemed relaxed as he stared at you, taking another scoop of the cheesecake and slowly ran his tongue over his lips after his bite. What the fuck was he doing ? 

“Y/N ?” you heard a familiar voice come from the entrance of the cafe. Your attention diverted from Doyoung to the blonde haired boy who began approaching your table. 

“Jungwoo ? oh my God what are you doing here ?” You stood up and pulled him into a tight hug and pecked his cheek. Doyoung shifted awkwardly in his seat as he watched your exchange with the stranger. 

“I got off early from class about to go to Subway, are you still doing that group project thing?” Jungwoo looked over at your table and half smiled at Doyoung who tried to distract himself with his phone. 

“Uh yeah but i'm all done here I think, wanna hang out ?” you hooked arms with Jungwoo as he nodded enthusiastically. You turned around and scratched the back of your head, 

“So...uh”

“Were all done you can go, I have somewhere to be anyway” Doyoung smiled as you slowly began packing up your things. 

“Alright, see you tomorrow I guess” you bid your goodbye and headed out for lunch with Jungwoo. 

—-

You had just finished up your skincare routine and caught up with a few instagram posts when you noticed Doyoung had followed you. Sitting up in bed you scrolled through his feed curiously. Every post was aesthetically pleasing and he looked absolutely hot in every single one of them. He had to have a girlfriend right ? No guy posts pictures this good without women flooding his DMs. 

There was no harm in doing the same since he was in your class, you decided to return the follow and close the app. Suddenly your phone vibrated with a new message in your chats. 

Y/N X KDY  10:30pm

KDY: hey 

Y/N: aren't you breaking two of your rules right now ?

KDY: haha 

KDY: I didn't realize what time it was…

Y/N: ….anyways..is this about work at least ?

KDY: kinda… you left one of your books at the cafe. I have it with me. 

Y/N: oh… thank you.

KDY: no prob...oh I hope its not a problem I added you on ig

Y/N: no its okay we are friends I guess

KDY: haha I thought I was the insufferable asshole..

Y/N: you are...but not all the time. Look im sorry for saying shitty things about you. 

KDY: its all good. 

KDY: …….

Y/N: ..whats up?

You twirled your fingers as you watched the three dots from Doyoung pop up and disappear over and over again. What was taking him so long ? 

KDY: that guy….that you met at the cafe..is he your boyfriend ?

Y/N: Jungwoo ? no way we've been friends since high school.

KDY: oh..

Y/N:....why would you even ask that ?

KDY: curious. 

Y/N: curious about who I'm dating ??

KDY: A little. 

You frowned at your phone and noticed Doyoung had changed his profile picture to a selfie. The picture was..something alright. You bit down on your lip as you enlarged the picture, which showed a wet haired Doyoung with his head resting in his palm and his long index finger was placed between his plump lips. 

“Fuck y/n get yourself together” you gave yourself a pep talk before opening his chat back up again. 

Y/N X KDY  10.54PM

Y/N: fine if you can ask a question can I ask one..

KDY: go ahead 

Y/N: who do you keep thirst trapping for ?

KDY: ….haha thirst trapping ? 

Y/N: Yeah who do keep posting these hot pics for huh

KDY: …..

KDY: You think i'm hot ?

Fuck. Why did you word it that way. You groaned immediately regretting sending that message but something in you was so curious about him you decided to just risk it, what was the worst that could happen ? 

Y/N: well yeah, I mean I'm sure everyone thinks you're attractive, you seem to know it too. 

KDY: wow. 

KDY: I think you're hot too. 

What the hell was going on. You felt your face heat up and you placed your pillow in between your legs as you turned on your side. 

KDY: I was almost disappointed when I thought Jungwoo was your boyfriend, he's way too passive. 

Y/N: ...and what makes you think you know what kind of man I need ?

KDY: hmmm

KDY: first of, with that fucking attitude of yours..A dominate one. 

You swallowed hard as you felt a tingle in your stomach, squeezing your thighs together on the pillow to create more friction. 

Y/N: I could say the same for you. 

KDY: You may think youre dominate in many aspects...but when it comes to fucking..im the one in charge. 

God you hated how hot that sounded. He had you in the palm of his hand through text. You were a mess and he wasn't even the room to fuel it. You wanted him so fucking bad it was insane. 

Y/N: running your mouth doesn't equate to doing it you know...

KDY:.....

KDY: then would you like me to show you ?

Everything happened so damn fast. One minute you two were texting the next minute you were sharing your apartment location and Doyoung was on his way over. You scrambled to put on sexier underwear and do your hair, still in shock by the fact that Doyoung was on his way over to bang you. 

You jumped when you heard the doorbell and realized it was him. Opening the door you were greeted to a very different look of Doyoung. His hair was messy and reached his eyes. Instead of his usual black academic attire he wore a loose white vest that showed off his toned chest and arms, along with a pair of grey sweatpants. 

“Hi” Doyoung smirked, his eyes were dark as he scanned your figure. 

“Hi” you responded, leaning against the wall in the hallway and looked up at him. Doyoung slowly approached you, like a lion circling its prey. His slender fingers danced lightly along your body, drawing a line from your waist until he found your throat and wrapped his cold fingers around it. He bit down on his lip as he studied how perfectly his hand looked around it and squeezed gently, smirking after hearing a soft moan emit from you. 

“I want you to do as I say, any back chat from you will get you punished you got that ?” he brought his lips down to your neck and exhaled. 

You nodded in response but that wasn't good enough for Doyoung. You felt his squeeze on your throat once more and he used his hips to pin you against the wall, “use your words” he gritted his teeth. 

“Yes sir” you replied obediently, and felt him smile against your neck. 

“Good girl, and if i'm too rough let me know so I can stop okay ?” he replied, his voice changed and it was much sweeter and genuine than before. He placed a soft kiss on your cheek when you nodded and led you to the bed. 

Doyoung lay you on the bed, already stripping off his shirt and ordered you to undress yourself and rid him off his sweatpants. You bit down on your lip taking notice of how aroused he was when you palmed his member. 

Doyoung watched you through hooded eyes as you discarded his sweatpants and boxers. He softly patted your head and grabbed a tuft of your hair in order to make you look up at him. 

“Spit” he ordered, and held out his hand and you did as you were told. You watched as he lathered himself with it, moaning as he stroked himself. He was so damn sexy, biting down on lip and slowly pleased himself as you watched. 

“Do you want this inside you sweetheart ?” he cooed and placed a finger under chin. 

You nodded quickly, “Yes please” 

“What do you want me to do baby ?” He purred and hovered over you as you lay on the bed, breathing heavily as his fingers moved against your warm skin, tracing your curves, ghosting over your heat and returning back to your lips to insert a digit inside. 

Doyoung watched diligently as you sucked on his finger like the good girl he knew you were. He finally pulled his finger out and with one swift movement entered with his member before you could even respond to his question. You moaned as he quickly slammed his hips into yours, wasting no time in gaining a rhythm as you marked his back with scratch marks feeling as though you were on a high. 

Doyoung fucked you like a pro, wasting no time to switch positions and had you on all fours, slapping your ass before slamming into you again, that pretentious smirk forming on his face as he heard your whimpers asking him for more. 

“Are you ready to cum sweetheart ?” he asked, pulling you up as his strokes became slower and tugged on your ear with his teeth. 

“Y-yes yes i'm ready” you panted.

“What's the magic word ?” he growled as he grabbed your throat and slowed down his pace as you were nearing your climax. 

“Fuck youre so annoying PLEASE, please let me cum Doyoung fuck” 

Doyoung chuckled and picked up his pace until you finally climaxed and he followed shortly after, collapsing in the bed next to you. 

“You have such an attitude God” he rolled his eyes playfully, bringing the blanket over your bodies and grinned when you moved in to cuddle him. 

“I guess you will have to fix that some time” you yawned and wrapped your arm around his waist, “but I have to admit, maybe I do enjoy the insufferable Kim Doyoung bossing me around once in a while.”

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

I am begging you to talk about the starless sea with spoilers. I’m just so happy that I came across your post, i would love for you to explain the ending to me because I didn’t really get it. You’re right about it being a beautiful book though, it’s so good! The stories inside the stories made me want to sob!

oooooo kay okay thank you SO MUCH for asking i pretty much have an entire post about the ending of the starless sea like. queued up in my head ready to be typed so here we go!! spoilers below the cut and all my friends who havent read this you had better not look -_- also keep in mind the important detail that i do not have a copy of the book for reference rn, lent my paperback copy to one of my besties to read and i have a signed first edition (!!!!!!) but its at my dads house and im at my moms. so this is going to be....

An Explanation of the Ending of the Starless Sea ENTIRELY Based On My Memory!

so im gonna like break this up into groups of people? i think it is easier

Zachary & Dorian (& Eleanor)

- okay before i go on to like The Ending CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PART WHERE ZACHARY FUCKING DIED

- if you're familiar with greek mythology and/or musical theater (hadestown) it reminds me of orpheus and eurydice, i actually wrote like an entire paragraph on this during history class in my notebook instead of working- something about going through a series of tests to get back to the one you love and then failing and having a moment of realization that you doubted that they were there but they were, but now it's too late. orpheus looking back at eurydice and having a moment of "its you" "its me" before she has to go back to hadestown forever, dorian putting the sword through zachary's chest and having a moment of hes not turning into some horror trickery creature, Oh God It's Actually Him before he dies. that hurt me on Every Level when i was So Happy that they had found each other and then turned the page- it literally said "he's never met someone who's literally taken his breath away before and he thinks he might actually be in love-" and then that was the page and i turned the page expecting Happiness which was not! delivered! yeah from this moment on there were tears in my eyes it was late at night and i wasnt ok with this

- but then the actual ending i thought it was really cool how zachary ended up in like the dollhouse world? at the time i didnt really think much of why or try to reason it out bc i was too fascinated to stop and think and just wanted to keep reading and see what happened to him and if it would come in with a happy ending, i could see that pages were running out for that to happen. but that seemed to be what happened, he ended up in the dollhouse world as it was, and we know the dollhouse world was destroyed in the fire so maybe thats why it ended up being what happened to him when he died? either way i thought that was really interesting. and i didnt quite understand how the Kitchen figured into it, i know the bees that said they were the Kitchen were there in the dollhouse world with him too, maybe they died? or maybe they were always dead??? one thing i would wonder is why the other people that died in the Harbor (the corpses in the tomb wrapped in memories) wouldnt have been there, but my conclusion for that was that maybe the Starless-Sea-afterlife-experience was different for everyone.

- and then Dorian just like. gave zachary Fate's heart to bring him back to life which if we're talking in metaphors may have meant that it was Fate's design to have them have their happy ending together- which makes sense to me, because a) Dorian already had Fate's heart I believe the moon gave it to him at the inn right? so it had to be important for something and b) there was the painting in the Keeper's office where you could allegedly see the heart in zachary's chest or something so just like all the other predictions in that painting, the sword and everything, it was bound to happen and c) Mirabel, or Fate as we could call her, i believe said something to the Keeper and Rhyme when they were waiting outside that warehouse to the effect of, "he didn't seem to think i'd give him a happy ending, honestly i'm a little offended" which seems to suggest to me that she meant for her heart (???? well it was Fate's heart right? and we established that Mirabel was Fate? so does she not have a heart? but im overthinking this the lines of Reality and Metaphor are a lil blurry but its ok we like it like that) but she seems to mean for Dorian to use it to bring him back. because if im NoT mistaken (remember i dont have the book for ref) didnt zachary dance with her between being dead and being alive? or was that just completely wrong the events are a lil jumbled in my mind but its fine. either way ya

- and after that? thats what i love about this ending it feels resolved but also you have no idea what will happen next and it feels like the beginning of an entirely new story. Zachary and Dorian are with Eleanor on her ship and they are sailing the Starless Sea and??? idk do we think they'll just be exploring forever? will they find another Harbor and another door and maybe make it back to the surface world? Madame Rawlins seems to think she'll see both of them, she said something to Kat about how not only would Zachary come back but he'd bring someone home with him, she said she would have a son-in-law eventually, so i'm of the opinion that they eventually made it back to see her??

Kat

- i love this woman with my entire heart okay i was so glad when i realized wed see more of her okay i thought we were done with katrina hawkins when we got into the story okay i freaked out when i saw that the next book was her diary okAY

- what happened to her????

- we do know that she followed the trail of zachary's disappearance for a while. we know that she went to see his mother and that she stole his ps4 (which i thought was hysterical it was just like "then i stole his ps4" lmao as u should) and someone was trying to stop her from finding this information??? recall some mod on that conspiracy theory message board warning her about the bee and key and sword symbols and then another person messaging her "crown heart feather"????? yeah remember that?????????? i thought it was really cool watching kat try to follow his trail and almost recalling what had happened to him originally trying to figure out sweet sorrows, except this time she had his own clues that he left behind to follow.

- well, we know she ended up with a door and a key. hi what was that???? mirabel and the Keeper and rhyme were definitely all hanging out outside that warehouse waiting for her to go in. this suggests to me that they may have found a new Harbor but were all the Harbors abandoned or was this one still flourishing? i think the ending left us with more questions than answers but they were satisfying questions and not annoying ones. i liked that about it.

Mirabel & the Keeper & Rhyme

- well we know that the Keeper is no longer bound to his Harbor anymore, so he and Mirabel and Rhyme are basically free to do whatever they want now?

- we leave them outside the warehouse talking about how Zachary ended up with a happy ending and that's it I think? they're all prepared to live in the outside world wearing their Normal People Clothes (tm) so i guess that couldve been where their story was headed, but if Kat's about to find another Harbor or if Zachary and Dorian and Eleanor are or if they're both about to find the same Harbor (what if the the latter three end up finding a Harbor and coming out of the door that Kat finds???????)

That One Cat That Hung Out With Zachary And Watched Over Dorian After Zachary Died

- felt the need to mention the cat

- im sure he is okay

- i think he is on Eleanor's ship

- i think he will go with them wherever they go

All in all!!! I'll circle back to that one thing i said which is that this ending left more questions than it did answers but in a good way, like not in a cliffhanger-y but more of a "this part of the story is over, but there are so many more stories to be told afterward and everyone is going into their own!" it was super amazing and i have been dying to ramble about it to someone who has actually read it and therefore can take spoilers so thank you!! also dying to know who your favorite character is. okay byeeeee