#I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D ACTUALLY SHOW THEM GOING FURTHER OH MY DAYS

[nervocat]

OMG THERE'S SM HAPPENING????

[coupleoffanfics]

Hey, it’s almost 1am and I’m riding the angst train I wanted to ask ur opinion on something.

How would the fam react to Y/n getting grievously I hired or dying by the hands of a villain or by Jeremiah and getting caught in the crossfire???

❤️❤️❤️

I'm so glad that people like reading my stuff. It's more self-indulgent, but what fanfic isn't self-indulgent?

Anyway, I'm so excited by seeing this ask because it sounds fun to write about. Let's start with the "less" angsty one. y/n getting gravely injured (I'm assuming that's a typo) by a villain.

TW: Mention of suicidal ideation once and gore.

Getting Gravely Injured by a Villain

It'd depend on the Villain. The family is going to act accordingly in their personas. Their punches are probably hitting harder than usual.

Jason might shoot the villain in the head, but ultimately can't. He's in Gotham following the Bat's rules slightly. So he'll just shoot their knee.

y/n isn't Batgirl anymore. So that means the villain must know the publicity they'll get by attacking, kidnapping, or holding a minor celebrity would give them. The fact that it's Bruce Wayne's daughter who's painted out to be a saint by the media would spread like wildfire. They'd have to be doing it to get attention or money.

How severely y/n was harmed doesn't matter too much. Bruised, broken bones, stabbed, etc are going to make the family more protective. Trying to persuade y/n into coming back to the manor, so that they can keep her close and prevent this from happening again.

Now the Valeska twins will differ in how y/n gets hurt and their reaction.

Jerome is like a child on a sugar high when with y/n. Wouldn't deliberately harm her in any way. Kidnaps y/n and go on a joy ride around the city even though she has no choice and isn't finding any joy from this. She'll probably get a scrape on her legs or arms from falling because Jerome is running too fast while he is holding her arm. Maybe have a bruised arm or wrist because of how tightly he holds her.

He doesn't think too much about things and will get into dangerous situations. Pick a fight or mock the wrong person leading to a shootout. He's having too much fun to care about anyone until y/n is hit.

One of the family members finally caught up to Jerome and was ready to— oh, my God y/n is bleeding from her side! Oh, fuck! AHHH! Jerome knows he can leave y/n in the hands of whatever bat family member showed up. She'll be in good hands while he hunts down the one who shot her.

"I know you're one of the 'good guys', but take care of her. If I hear that you did something that upsets her I'll— actually, I'll keep that a surprise." He looks at y/n who is just bleeding on the floor and in pain with a big ol’ smile. "I'll make sure to give you the head of that fucker who got you. Until then see ya later, toots!"

After that y/n is forced to stay in the manor. They made a deal that it would just be a few weeks, but her stay is indefinite.

Bruce

Opens the door one day to find a large box. It wasn't a delivery because it has no shipping information on it. Just an envelope with y/n's name on top of it. Bruce opens the envelope first and reads the letter which has poor handwriting.

Hey, doll!

Hope you're resting up and not in too much pain. I didn't think picking on a mob boss would get so messy. They just couldn't take a joke. I'll pick a more private place for our next date cuz I know how shy you are. Hope seeing them brightens your day. Made sure to get rid of the eyes since I know how you don't like too many eyes on you. Didn't know who shot you, so I just killed everyone who was there.

Love Jerome.

Bruce doesn't need a minute to take things in. He already knows what's in the box and sends it to the authorities. Does not mention a word of this to y/n. She is already going through a lot and best to not tell her.

He does increase the security around the manor. He ends up putting a tracker on y/n because knowing where she is the only way to keep him from worrying.

This further solidifies that she needs to be in their protection to keep this mentally disturbed boy away. The whole thing is twisted but the line "a more private place" bothers him the most. He's not letting his daughter be alone with Jerome longer than she already has.

Dick

It's early in the morning and Dick wanted to check up on how y/n doing. As he walks up to the manor there's a large box sitting in front of the door. A letter sits on top of it with y/n's name on it. Rips up the envelope and begins reading the letter.

Once Dick was done reading, he looked down at the box. Noticing dried blood around the box. This makes him nauseous and immediately goes to Bruce to inform him. They sent it to authorities so they could identify the heads in the box.

He doesn’t tell y/n or the others about this. Everyone is already in a frenzy from the events prior, so it seemed best to keep this between him, Bruce, and Alfred.

"Made sure to get rid of their eyes," Dick isn't sure why that sticks with him. Maybe it's because he wonders if Jerome beheaded them or took out their eyes first. It doesn't matter though because he needs to keep his little sister safe.

Barbara

Doesn't even want to go near it, checks that there isn't a bomb in there waiting to explode. She takes one peek in the box and immediately looks away. Does not read the letter because what was in the box said what needed to be said. Informs the whole family and that sets the mood for the day.

She checks up on y/n after telling everyone. The poor girl is so overwhelmed by everything that she doesn't want to be around anyone. Spends most of the day with y/n, trying to cheer her up. Get sweets since that's y/n weakness and sugar releases dopamine. She has Alfred cook y/n's comfort food.

The day is meant to help release all of the stress. Barb wasn't sure if it was working until y/n said thank you before going to bed. Barb makes a promise to herself that she'll become better at shielding y/n from this type of depravity.

Jason

Can tell who this is from just by the envelope. y/n's name with little hearts around it. Shoves it into his pocket, he'll give it to y/n when he sees her. Opens the box to be hit with a familiar disgusting odor. Looking inside there are 3 heads. Recognizes one of them being a mod boss he has on his list for a while now.

Jason wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't this. He pulls out the envelope and tears it open to get some sort of context. Reading the letter left him unsettled and a little…satisfied? Grateful maybe? For taking care of those who harmed y/n even though it was entirely Jerome's fault that this happened in the first place.

Closes the box and informs the whole family of what he found. Everyone is put more on edge. y/n isn't allowed out of the manor for a few days. y/n is upset by the news and she’s more quiet the following days.

Jason almost wants to laugh at, "They just couldn't take a joke." Bets that these" jokes" were just thinly veiled threats and pointing a gun at them. He probably would have snickered if this didn't involve y/n.

Tim

All he wanted to do was check the mail. Now he's reading a sort of love letter written by a psycho and looking down at the heads that could not look back at him. Their empty eye sockets had- ugh, God there was so much blood.

Debates on whether he should tell y/n about this, but ends up telling her. There was no point in hiding it because she'll probably find out one way or another. Sees the guilt and horror flash across her face. Wants to comfort her as much as he can, but all she does is detract from him. Of course, when Barb opens her arms y/n jumps into them. What happened to them always being there for each?

Doesn't like, "our next date", one bit. He doesn't like the insinuation or the thought of it. He starts keeping his eyes peeled for Jerome and ears open if anyone has information on where he is or going. The sooner he's in Arkham the safer y/n is from him and going on that next date.

Damian

Not impressed. The delivery was lazy and the writing was so sloppy that he almost couldn't read it. The heads must have been cut with a butter knife with how unclean and jagged the cut is. Every unprofessional. Nonchalantly brings this up at the table during breakfast. Not even when everyone is finished, just right in the middle of it.

Never really had respect for a villain or any, but the whole "Didn't know who shot you, so I just killed everyone" was almost respectable. Damian having a speck of respect doesn't mean he likes Jerome. Still thinks he's stupid and annoying.

He'd give him a 3/10 for the delivery and would not order again.

Per-Spray Jeremiah isn't going to do anything, but Post-Spray Jeremiah is a different story. Will break one of y/n's arms or legs just so that she can't get away from him too easily. Though that's going to the extreme, he's more likely to guilt trip her. Getting into her head isn't hard and more effective.

"I thought you loved me. You were the one who always said you loved me. y/n, who has been here for you the most and always will? Not your best friend, Norah, she's leaving you behind and you know it. Not your family because they never cared about you in the first place. No one will love you like I do. You need me, y/n."

By the time the family saves y/n and brings her back to the cave for medical attention. She's consumed by guilt and almost believes she deserved any harm done to her. Will cry to Barb about this and only Barb.

Concerned by this revelation Barb will tell the whole family. Bruce is worried as it's clear that y/n's mental state is worsening. He knew that it would be after bad being kidnapped by Jeremiah, he just didn't think it would be this bad. Bruce and Tim have the same idea to get y/n another therapist if she's still not seeing one.

Jason and Damian are mad that y/n would think that she deserves any pain. Jason is kinda, sort of, not really more understanding about the whole thing than Damian. He gets how she could feel that she failed Jeremiah. If she has revealed that they had been dating and she can't or won’t give up on him, everyone is conflicted and concerned.

Dick has had the most romantic relationships and will try to convince y/n that Jeremiah is a lost cause now. Leading her to a spiral into a depressive episode. Oops!

If y/n is on the verge of death the family freaking the fuck out. Slowly recovers at the manor and convinces her that staying with them is the best thing for her. Depending on if her injury is life-threatening or not will determine how cooperative she is.

Getting Killed by a Villain

Doesn't matter who it is Jason is shooting them on the spot. Though with how emotional and choked up he's getting, he'll probably miss. Damian would react the same way if his whole body didn't stop upon seeing y/n's lifeless eyes. He doesn't want to step near her to see if it was true that he lost his sister.

Bruce, Dick, and Tim will force themselves to act professionally. They're still in their hero personas and killing was a strict no. If the whole family is there then whoever killed y/n is getting a beating of their life.

It could also depend on who's at the scene. Bruce and Dick hold on to the moral code that killing is wrong. This will prevent any further killings from happening.

Damian and Jason would probably end up killing the villain after seeing y/n's corpse. They know it's not going to bring back y/n, but what else can they do except making the villain to pay their debt?

Tim teeters between the lines. If Bruce or Dick is there then he's on their side of not killing. If it's just Damian and/or Jason then he won't stop them. He won't participate just stands back to let them do their thing.

Depending how and when she died will weigh heavily on their mind. Quick and painless before they got there? At least she didn't have to suffer too much, but still keeps them up at night.

Tortured for hours before succumbing to her injuries? They already feel guilty that they couldn't save her on time, but her last hours of living was being in pain will only intensify it. Out of the whole family, Jason would probably be the most distraught by this. He reopens old wounds and memories. y/n meeting a similar end is horrifying to him.

Get there on time, but it’s too late to save her from her injuries. Then slowly dies in their arms. If they're all there then y/n is dying in Bruce's arms.

"Please tell Jeremiah, I'm sorry and- and that I love him. Tell Norah that I hope s-she achieves her dreams of becoming a doctor. Are- are you still there? I can't see or feel you." She can slightly hear Bruce's deep voice while what seems to be the others are screaming. It's getting harder to hear and her body is starting to feel heavier.

This is the end and everyone knows it. Jason, Tim, and Dick don't want to accept it and are trying to patch her wound(s). Trying to get help there as soon as possible. Bruce and Damian are quiet trying to listen to her soft voice get quieter.

y/n starts slightly laughing, it's a nervous tick. "I always fantasize about having enough courage to end it all. Bu-but I- fuck. I'm such a fuck up." She starts crying and any words of comfort are either not heard or ignored. Starts coughing blood, but that doesn't deter Bruce in the slightest. Damian squeezes her hand though he doubts she can feel it.

"I don't even feel the pain anymore…At least I…At least I'm not dying alone." It isn't long before she stops breathing.

Alternatively, I thought of y/n saying, "I wished I was surrounded by loved ones." But she wouldn't stay that no matter how angry she is at the family. Might think it though.

In both cases of the Valeska twins, y/n would be caught in the crossfire. Jerome isn't going to kill y/n because she's his one and only. Jeremiah isn't going to kill y/n because why would he kill his wife? He's already planned out most of their whole lives and she already signed the mentally fabricated marriage certificate.

Jerome gets into a frenzy seeing y/n drop dead. No one is spared from his wrath. He can't bring himself to look at her body and will just leave. Inactive for a short time before getting back into the swing of things.

She is buried next to Jason. The family will catch Jerome hanging around her grave "talking to her" or something. Who knows what the hell he's doing. They'll have to chase him off or turn on the sprinklers if they want him to leave.

He didn't kill her himself, but he's still responsible for the events leading up to it. Meaning the family isn't going to pull back any punches.

Post-Spray Jeremiah has a similar reaction to y/n's death. Honestly, y/n could have died by just jumping in front of him to take a bullet. Doesn't matter how much y/n should hate him, she can't bring herself to. Ultimately it doesn't matter how she died, Jeremiah will blame Batman or the others for their inability to save y/n. Deflecting any responsibility.

This reinforces that he has to destroy Gotham and make it into his perfect image. y/n always talked about wanting to make the world a better place and that's exactly what he's doing.

If she dies in his arms he'll make a quick escape with her body. Having Echo hold back everyone to buy him time. Buries y/n in an undisclosed location and the tombstone will stay y/n Valeska instead of l/n or Wayne.

If he knew of the family's identity, he'd make subtle jabs at them. Mocking them for their mishandling of y/n. When or if he takes over Gotham he'll make sure that they all have front-row seats of the destruction before killing them off.

If he's feeling ruthless he might just have one of his followers get plastic surgery to look like y/n. Even change the pitch of their voice to get close enough to y/n's. Then send the follower after them and make various claims about how they lied about caring about her. How they let her die on purpose. That she'll never forgive them.

Traumatizing the whole family. Will make his follower's death gruesome just fuck with them and have them relive that day.

Bruce regrets not having kept y/n closer. He has a lot of 'should haves’ and 'if only’ in his head. He knows that's not going to do anything, but it'll take a while to accept her death. Always visits her grave every week.

Dick wishes that he'd been a better brother to y/n. He'll often wonder if she's looking down at them from above. Any mention of her will upset him for a while. Tim feels the same as Dick but often finds himself reminiscing about those happy moments. When they're smiling and laughing, once the memory is over he's left feeling melancholy.

Barbara is heartbroken by this. y/n always talked about how she wanted a normal domestic lifestyle. How much she loves Jeremiah and believes that he's the one. Now she's in the dirt and never experienced that simple quiet life she wanted. Carries a photo of y/n and her smiling on her all the time. Believes that y/n is in a better place where she can live out her dreams. One day Barb will see her again and give her a bone-crushing hug.

Jason and Damian think of throwing her body into Lazarus Pit if they have access to her body. Jason seriously thinks of it for only a minute before throwing it out. The pit messed him up and he can't handle bringing y/n back only for her mental turmoil to worsen. Damian doesn't think about that. He wants to apologize for all he's said and done. He wants his sister back, but the family is quick to turn down the idea. Explaining how it could only lead to more pain.

Damian would most likely listen to the family since they're technically right. Although there is a small chance that he wouldn't listen and do it anyway. Right out of the pit, y/n's thinking of her only love. Tries to run back to Jeremiah, but Damian is not having any of that. 

When he returns to the manor with y/n tied up the whole family will have a verbal MMA fight. After that, they lock y/n in a nicely furnished room with hidden security cameras. y/n is like a zombie. Only has one thing, rather one person on her mind. She's a shell of who she once was.

At least they have a second chance, right?

y/n can not go ten minutes without talking or asking about Jeremiah. Will speak with herself if there isn't anyone else with her.

I think this turned out horrible, but hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to ask anything else as my inbox in always open. Also sorry for misspells or grammar mistakes, kinda rushed this.

[laseratingfist]

You asked me about RenPo, so now...

What about Sampo x Luka?? <3

literally every day I am thinking about them even if I'm just microwaving them with my mind

i can make it so fucked up — not so much anymore, due to the amount of staring at Sampo I've done, but um. "Gibson Girl" by Ethel Cain is still the first song on my Luka playlist for a reason AAHAHA

they're fucking the same guy — GEPARD.

basically canon to me — definitely the shipping brain + almost zero canon Luka appearances but honestly. honestly! their voicelines about each other?? WHAT HAPPENED THERE and is Luka being silly! is he being serious? does he actually like Sampo? is this a bit they're doing?? I need more. I NEED to see them together so badly

i can make it so stupid — consider, for a moment, Luka being an honorary member of the Moles. consider, additionally, that Hook is apparently good friends with Sampo! consider them hanging out with the Moles, and the Moles figuring something strange is going there between both big brothers.... hmm.... they sort of like each other a lot.... and yet when confronted about it they deny everything!! >:O

they make me feel insane — I think I've written about 26k words of fic about them so far. I've been drawing fanart for them since I rolled Luka back in october last year. when I first heard Hozier's song "Too Sweet" my immediate thought was SAMPOLUKA! THIS IS A SONG FROM SAMPO'S POV ABOUT LUKA

brb gotta go through their whole ship tag — I.... I am most of the tag right now....

i like it in specific scenarios — I do really prefer my dynamic for them above other people's but I have read pretty much every fic in their ao3 tag and most of the ones where they're both tagged and show up and I love each and every one of them

oh there's no way this will end well + in a relationship not sure what but they're in one — I think Sampo is an extremely closed off person, emotionally. both him and Luka are like this. Luka has an easier time opening up to him, of course, once they get to the point of being intimate, physically and emotionally. I don't think Sampo would ask for anything concrete from Luka, they'd probably just be ~good friends~ for a while. but Luka is very much a puppy, a dog, very loyal to those he considers his friends and family. once he considers Sampo as that, there's very little Sampo can do to shatter that loyalty. even if Sampo ghosts him for a while, he'll still wait for him to come back. dog at a train station behavior.

they're sweet — so, Luka has spent pretty much his entire life in the Underworld, right? he was born before the separation order (because it lasted ten years) but before that, he lived with his dad at a blacksmith's forge, so they probably didn't have a lot of time to visit the Overworld, and if they did, Luka probably doesn't remember a lot of it from how little he was. please please please imagine Sampo taking Luka on a tour of the Overworld, treating him to food, and the opera house, and just. Luka seeing the sky and being allowed to just take it in. Sampo buying him flowers. please

oh the devotion — dog at a train station behavior.

thematically delicious — scammer x scammee. performer x audience. two protectors of Belobog (Sampo is a protector fight me on this) finding a bit of comfort in each other.

compatible brand of freaks — so we've talked about how Luka is very much a dog, right? Sampo being a ringleader, a stagehand pulling strings behind the curtain. they're both performers, and honestly, if Luka were a bit more unstable, I could see him being a Masked Fool. I have an AU in my head where Luka goes with Sampo instead of Oleg, like, in a Funny Bone MV type AU, and Sampo introduces him to the Tavern. Luka finds purpose entertaining and bringing hope to people through there, even though as he gets dragged further in, the worse Sampo feels about it.... but yeah :]

not dating but married nonetheless — sobbing just thinking about it, yknow

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Moving Forward - Chapter 44

*Warning Adult Content*

Gloating

It wasn't just Max's family here.

There were other werewolves from the Rivers pack and more he didn't recognise, faces and scents he'd never memorised but how were Lara and Gillespie here?

"Finally made it huh?" Lara sneered.

Max met her eyes, so filled with malice that he almost had to take a step back.

Instead, he strode further into the room, placing himself between his family and the pair of psychos on the dais.

"How long..." Max cut off the question with a sharp snarl, focusing on Lara's brother.

"I thought I killed you already."

Gillespie's mouth twisted in smug pity.

"Magic is a wonderful tool, don't you think?"

How was Max supposed to answer that?

Smile and agree and pretend like this wasn't the bastard who killed Kyle?

Glancing between him and Lara, there was a marked difference in their manner.

Lara wasn't happy, the frown creasing her brows, the darkness in her eyes, all the hate aimed directly at Max.

Glee lit Gillespie's face, he was like a child in a sweet shop, everything was within reach for him now and Max latched onto the word 'finally'.

They'd been expecting him.

For fuck's sake, they'd been waiting for him, knowing he would go through that hell and end up here and... Lara.

"You were never insane, were you?" Max asked, though he didn't really need to.

She shrugged.

"It was kinda stupid of you ta believe that a little grief would send me over the edge."

Gillespie smirked.

"Did you enjoy the journey? I had Lara tailor it to create as much discomfort for you in the time we had available."

He sat himself down on the edge of the dais.

"This world, you see, is Lara's dimension. A little pocket of an alternate universe that only Lara can give access to and we needed a little time to set up before we could let you in this specific part."

"All of that... was a distraction?"

Max wanted to ask how.

Wanted to know what the point of tormenting him even more was, why they felt that giving Mad a glimpse of his dead boyfriend was a good idea but knowing what he did of Gillespie, it was only to throw Max through a loop and so far, to Max's chagrin, it had worked.

"Why? What is all this for? You killed Kyle already, took the Alpha position."

"This? This is would all have been redundant if that plan had worked," Gillespie waved a hand, as if trying to dismiss the failure.

"I've got to say, plan B's are always good to have."

Behind Gillespie, Lara started moving, muttering words under her breath and drawing something on the stage in chalk.

The noise grated against Max's teeth.

"You killed Kyle for a plan that didn't even work?" Max growled, taking a step forward.

Gillespie held out a hand.

"Now now, the only reason it didn't work is because Kyle isn't Alpha, now is he? Carter is but I have no use for that now. I can be more powerful than Alpha."

A monologue?

Was Gillespie seriously monologuing?

While he was chatting shit Max could... unlike last time, Max found his limbs actually immobilised.

At some point, Lara has cast her nuisance of a spell and it had worked.

The same spell that kept Finn or Kyle from fighting against them.

Frustration coiled in Max's gut, bubbling as a growl in his chest.

"Yes, isn't my sister clever?" Gillespie grinned.

"She knows I love a good show and tell."

"Anyway," Gillespie waved that off, too.

"The basic gist of the new plan is that I kill both you and Kyle, together in a ritual sacrifice and the power of the bond will reside in me, giving me more power than even becoming Alpha would."

He grinned, excitement practically steaming off him.

"This wouldn't just be the power to preside over a strong pack, this is the power of the mate bond."

"Kill both Kyle and myself together?" Max frowned, trying to get his limbs moving.

"But Kyle's already dead."

"Oh..." Gillespie hopped off the stage to put his face only centimetres from Max's.

"Not quite."

Not... not quite... not quite dead.

Meaning Kyle wasn't in a good state but he wasn't dead.

Max knew he shouldn't hope.

Gillespie could be lying or misleading Max into believing that Kyle could be saved but Max had also believed that he'd killed Gillespie.

That Lara had gone insane.

That he wasn't useful to Gillespie or Lara so coming down here instead of Carter was the better idea but as he watched, Lara pulled a stretched from behind the chairs on the stage.

On it was the form of a man.

It was Kyle, definitely Kyle.

He was pale and covered in blood and still unconscious but as Max watched, the chest rose with a gentle inhalation.

Quickly seeing he was at a disadvantage, Max switched tracks.

"So you have us. All the ingredients for your little spell."

If Max could move, he would've gestured to the others in the room, waiting with blank stares.

Instead, he huffed at his inability to do so.

"Let them go. You don't need them."

"Now you're just guessing," Gillespie sighed, and grabbed Max to fireman carry him onto the stage.

"We do need them. Well, their blood in any case."

The words Lara chanted were no longer quiet murmurs but commandments.

She spoke loud and clear, with a force that Max had only experienced when she was his friend.

Hurricane Lara. Here, however, she wasn't just being pushy.

She was out to destroy Max's world and put Gillespie in power.

Once Gillespie had dumped him on the stage, Max realised he wasn't the only new addition to the cast of this psychotic play.

He was followed up here by those who'd been staring into space only moments ago.

Above Max, Blake held his chin up with blank expression, Andy next to him, Amelia swaying rhythmically on the other side of him.

They all encircled Max, locking him inside the ring with Kyle, Lara and Gillespie.

Continuing to chant, Lara produced a knife, gently took Andy's hand, and slit her wrist.

[snkts]

OKAY I'M GONNA USE THE REPLIES TO HELP GET MY THOUGHTS IN ORDER

@themckaytriarchy [Yes.]

I swear to god I've been thinking about this for five days. It's driving me crazy.

@chingonaclaws The way they treated Laura says he’s not wrong. :)

@defyxoblivion All things considered, he’s wise for that. SHIELD has proven unreliable at best and dangerous at worst

OKAY BUT IT'S LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER?? Cause like- Okay, I'm going back to the cartoons again, because I'm a sucker for them. But in Evolution, look at what happens when they want him to find Laura (who he had not yet learned existed). Logan is on a road trip. He's out on his bike, minding his own business. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. shows up and sends ARMORED CARS after him. This is how they say hello. Logan tries to get away through the woods. He gets both cars to wreck and ends up on a cliff. Fury appears in a helicopter and has it point ALL its weapons at Logan, including the ROCKET LAUNCHER, and threatens to blow up his motorcycle if Logan tries anything. This is right off the bat.

Again: Logan is on his own, minding his own business. Instead of trying to contact him, SHIELD decides to launch a kidnapping attempt, Logan tries to get away and they pursue him. When he retaliates, mostly just trying to cut off their paths until that's no longer an option, they keep trying. And when he's cornered, they threaten to shoot him with a ROCKET LAUNCHER if he says no or tries to leave.

So right off the bat, they don't care about his autonomy. What he wants doesn't matter. Either he does what they say, or they hurt him. End of story. It's familiar.

And then Nick talks. He doesn't call him Logan or Wolverine at first - Nick calls him Weapon X. Just- Just holy shit. I don't even need to say why this makes Logan think they'd revive the project. They straight up call him his project designation. Not his name. Not his callsign. Weapon X.

And it turns out they need him to do a job. Now, from a Doylist perspective, we know that he didn't get a run-down of the mission statement until he got to the base because they wanted the episode to flow better. But from a Watsonian perspective, that means Nick hunted Logan down, threatened to BLOW HIM UP, referred to him by the project designation he got by the scientists who tortured him and turned him into a weapon and wiped his memory against his will, forced Logan to come with him, and didn't tell him why until they were in a closed off environment.

And Logan gets there and one of the first things they tell him is hey! We have a HYDRA scientist here! And guess what, she worked on reviving Weapon X! And yes, sure, she's a deserter. But she's still from Hydra, and now she's with SHIELD. And she's giving them her intel. Oh, also, by the way, the program was already revived AGAIN. And it was on kids this time!

Anyway, go capture that kid for us. Bring her back. No, we're not gonna tell you what we're planning on doing with her. She's dangerous. Go catch her.

Anyway, this episode has one of my all-time favourite moments, where Logan actually uses the word 'victim' to describe himself when he tries to relate to Laura. Because they are victims. And it's so good to hear him be that vulnerable and so sweet that he's doing that for her. And it all ends with Logan lying to Fury's face that he has no idea where Laura is.

Look how mad they both are - but Logan doesn't budge. He refuses to admit he has any idea where Laura is - she's just gone. (Sidenote: The only thing sexier than lying to cops is lying to government agents to protect kids.) This is later confirmed to be a lie by Laura herself - she explicitly asks Logan why he lied for her. So he fully knows where Laura is, but he tells Fury she vanished. Not even that she's in the Institute, or under his protection, he tells Fury he has absolutely no idea where she is. That's how little he trusts the director with Laura. In the next Laura episode, he takes it further, and tells Fury she's dead. We get to see him scent the air and smile after, so Logan knows she's fine, but he wants SHIELD thinking she's dead so they leave her alone. He doesn't want them anywhere near her. He asks her to come back to the Institute and she says no, so he knows she's living on her own - and he still considers that preferable to her being in SHIELD custody.

He doesn't trust them to not hurt her or use her as a weapon. Or worse.

Oh, also, SHIELD is holding Steve in some kind of stasis while they figure out how to wake him up. Logan is extremely bothered by this, and apparently makes visits to check in on him and talk to him, promising he's going to keep trying to find a 'cure'. Part of the reason Logan doesn't like this situation is, Steve is his friend. They were war buddies. He also hates it because he was in stasis for a good chunk of the Weapon X initiative - whenever they didn't need him.

And part of it is because he doesn't trust SHIELD to treat Steve as a person when they do wake him up.

And this kind of thread is carried on in Wolverine and the X-Men. It doesn't get any better.

Brief summary of the interactions is, Nick Fury meets Logan at a diner and asks him to do a job for SHIELD. Logan refuses. He tries to leave, and Fury responds by listing the X-Men's full legal names - including the ones who are TEENAGERS - and implying he knows where they all live. He tells Logan if Logan doesn't help him out, all of that information is going to the racist anti-mutant senators. Remember, the first episode of WatXM starts with these senators kidnapping and torturing a family of human civilians because they didn't want Wolverine to get arrested after he saved their daughter.

And Nick is going to hand them information about MUTANT CHILDREN if Logan doesn't comply. So of course, Logan reluctantly sits back down. The job Fury wants him to do is 'deal with the Hulk permanently'. Y'know, the OTHER immortal, unkillable rage monster, Yeah, go deal with that, and if you don't, we're siccing the bloodthirsty lynch mobs with giant robots on the kids you love. Have fun.

So tl;dr, it goes about as well as you'd expect. During the process, Logan learns that Hulk is only out there - and only the way he is - because of SHIELD. So, in essence, he was sent to do an impossible task in order to clean up their mess in order to stop his family from being killed. He and Bruce both try to call Nick out on this (after Bruce and Logan reach an agreement), and Nick tells them they aren't allowed to complain, because they're tools for SHIELD to use as he sees fit. That's almost verbatim. Logan is told he's not allowed to be upset about being lied to, manipulated, having his family threatened, and getting hurt because he's just a tool, and Nick is allowed to treat him like that whenever he wants.

Thankfully, this episode ends with Logan blackmailing Nick and siccing Hulk on him, but still.

And this is just a handful of episodes from the cartoons. This is already kind of long so I won't get into the comics right now, but, yeah.

Logan does not trust SHIELD not to bring back Weapon X.

I'm going to talk more about this when I'm not working, but you ever think one of the reasons Logan dislikes S.H.I.E.L.D. as an agency is he genuinely worries they're one push away from reviving the weapon x protocol

[sauntering-down]

another dream post compiled from discord

ignore this lol i just like to have them all under one convenient tag...

i had an extremely detailed and vivid dream right before i woke up this morning, and for once i woke up AFTER it finished rather than in the middle... so ofc now i can only remember a few random bits

like the possibly-magical rose hips this dude got from another world

and my tattoo sleeves which had been hidden via magic and when some kind of potion was poured over my arms they all came back

and also my cousin and i wanted to go to the beach alone but i guess we couldn't?

and at the end, when the "adventure" was over, i was packing all my stuff into plastic bins to take home and i had so many i didn't think my dad could fit them all into the car...

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anyway i also had this delightful little dream where i took a train home from my old elementary school? like there was a station there... the entire school looked bizarre, but dream-me rationalized that as 'oh, i haven't been here since i was 12 and they've added onto it since then, i shall allow Lauren to guide me since she has younger siblings who went here post-renovation'. so we walked through the halls and to the station on the far side of the school. we had to wait for train 398 - there was another that came before it, but according to Lauren (a childhood friend who lived around the corner from me) that one didn't stop anywhere near our houses. mind you, i think our train stopped somewhere near the library, which is further from our houses than the school... but whatever. we let the first train pass and got on the second. sort of. mostly we clung to these poles on the outside and stood on the steps like it was some kind of trolley. i dimly remember thinking this was dangerous but not really caring lol. then the next day i took the train home alone and was very proud of myself, although i think i might've left something on it. there was also some later bit where i was in class at that same school and i'd been absent the previous day, so my teacher had moved my desk somewhere weird? he told me to move it back if i could, and it wasn't heavy so i could lift it and put it in place easily... idk. the end.

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hate it when i have interesting dreams but only remember snippets of them!! in one i was involved with some huge battle to decide the future of humanity or something world-changing like that... and it took place in a shopping mall for some reason. in another i was a boy named Nim who was sixth of eleven children - or, as he put it, "five on each side" making him the true middle child of the family, lol. they lived on this big wooded lot somewhere in Hawaii, apparently... most of his siblings also had weird Dweep names (there were two boys named Zolt and Melk) but some got away with normal ones, like the brother just older than him who was called Liam. last dream, my family had moved into a new house somewhere. we went to eat at this nearby restaurant several times and my brother and i kept inexplicably taking a table that these two older men liked? sometimes they'd sit with us anyway and we'd just ignore one another?? but then one time my grandparents (including my long-dead maternal grandmother lol) came too and some of them sat with us and suddenly the men were super chatty and nice and fatherly, it was weird. then we went back home and i showed my mother how much the lighting in my bathroom sucked, but at least the view from the windows in my bedroom was GORGEOUS - one faced a bunch of fields and rolling hills, the other looked out towards the ocean. i wanted to get some pictures or like a short video panorama to show you. and then i woke up.

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i had the weirdest fucking dream early this morning, right before i woke up. i wish i could explain it but it really was an incoherent mess. highlights include me actually going to a party a girl i knew back in school was throwing, her living in a place in Oakdale called 'Halloween', sliding headfirst down a hilly street at extreme speeds and somehow being fine, some sort of music or vocal contest at my school kinda like NYSSMA but some people were treating it like a gala and brought champagne and shit, some OTHER kind of school competition where we'd designed mascots and stuff for our teams, the school itself looking half like my high school and half like a Target or grocery store, buying an insane amount of expensive merch for this contest featuring our weird mascots... god it was so bizarre

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meanwhile i remember two dreams... one was the typical "i need to go to school but i have so much stuff to pack i'm running late" dream. in the other i was in this little town where a bunch of people i'd known as a kid lived... i went skateboarding with some of them, i think? i was bad at it lol. and one friend had a cool scrapbook of all the stuff our old friends had done since high school, which was a nice little "everyone's succeeding and achieving their dreams or at least LIVING and You Are Not", thanks a lot, subconscious. there was also this hotel called the "World Star" up atop this very steep little hill in the middle of town, which is funny because that exact same hill/hotel has shown up in my dreams from time to time and in this one i made a point to LOOK for it and there it was! it was a nice town though

it's ALWAYS atop that small but very steep hill

i've never been inside it but once or twice i've walked/biked up the driveway (which takes Effort because it's so steep lol)

i think this is the first time it's actually had a name!

thrilling development in my life

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dreamed my family and i were taking the cover off the aboveground pool at the old house and there was a cobra lurking in it. when we realized that we started ushering everyone (because there were a whole bunch of people there for some reason) inside, along with the cats who were inexplicably out. unfortunately the cobra followed us onto the deck and tried to get inside? since i hadn't made it in yet, i grabbed the snake behind the head, planning to toss it into the grass, but it twisted around just enough to bite my thumb. it also bit some random dude somehow. i kept holding it but now i was yelling for my mother to grab a knife and behead it, which she TRIED to do, but it took a really long time until she'd like... sawed through the snake enough that i could let go of it... it was gross lol. and then i was like "hm, should i actually worry about this bite? i know cobras are venomous but i don't feel much of anything. maybe my thumb is a little numb. skin looks sorta pink and swollen around the bite. eh, might as well pop over to the ER and make sure." so then i grabbed a tote bag from under my bed and started packing it in case i had to stay a day or two at the hospital - taking my phone and laptop and chargers and whatnot - and then woke up. honestly better than the previous night's "it's time to go to school but i haven't packed my bag yet and i have so much stuff it's taking forever to pack and i keep finding more stuff and i'm going to be late" dream.

The funny thing is I remember the other bitten dude being like “if it’s serious they might have to airlift you somewhere else” and I went “oh cool I’ve never ridden in a helicopter before! :D :D :D”

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good morning, i had a dream where i went to the dentist supposedly to have a tooth extracted, but we never actually got around to it... first i had to do some treatment that involved chewing what appeared to be a piece of red clay that was all gritty and sandy? and then the dentist and assistants were making sausage in the lobby and there was meat and casing everwhere??????

(Mary: ...now...hear me out on this...but i do feel like that's a huge red flag)

"dentist removed my broken tooth and also an unbroken arm. sent me home with some delicious sausages that gave my daughter a prion disease. 2/5 stars, dentist was very pleasant but i couldn't get past the mess in the lobby-slash-sausage-factory and also my daughter is terminally ill now."

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i had some rather bizarre dreams... one was a very weird little thing where my girlfriend (whoever she was) died of anaphylaxis after accidentally eating something she was allergic to. but that was just like, a premonition or something? so i was trying to prevent it??? except i failed to stop her from eating The Thing, so her mouth started getting super swollen and all - and also we had this dog who was sick i guess - and i immediately went to call 911 so hopefully we could get to the hospital in time. the 911 operator was basically like "lol sounds like nbd" when i told him about my girlfriend, so i told him about the dog too and he was like "oh okay, i'll send a helicopter to airlift you to the vet by the railroad." hung up like ?????? because i had no idea if he was serious... but then a helicopter landed outside? so i took the dog and my GF (who at some point along the line became my IRL cousin. wild.) onto the helicopter, thinking i'd call 911 again from the vet and maybe get someone who'd listen about my girlfriend-cousin's allergy. we make it to the vet, which looked more like a weird hostel or something, the dog is whisked away, and i'm about to call again when girlfriend-cousin is like "eh, i feel better, i'm just gonna go take a nap." and went to some little back room to do so. i was VERY confused and kept checking on her to make sure she was alive, and then woke up

also there was another part of the dream where i was back in my hometown, on a road supposedly near Vets Highway that definitely doesn't exist. i was riding my bike and took a shortcut through like... a video game store or a Best Buy or something??? idk why haha. but i wound up on a residential street where there were a TON of fruit trees. i saw a huge pear tree first, followed by a bunch of others, all loaded with fruit - several of them were like, banana and mango trees, which i'm pretty sure don't grow on LI but i didn't notice then lol. i was snapping pics with my phone, but i don't remember anything else

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k i had two dreams before i got up this morning... the second one was a really depressing dream about visiting an old university i'd supposedly been to at one point, so let's not. but the FIRST one? i went up to the Honda in Cocoa because i guess something had happened to my car and it was time to go pick it up. i get there and the guy's like "oh yeah, we had to do some body work but it's fine :)" and i was like :) and then... he shows me this tiny white car which is NOTHING like my actual car. and when i say tiny, i mean child-sized, like one of those battery-powered toy Jeeps kids can ride around in at 2 mph. i just shrugged and rolled with it lol. my dad texted me like "just got the bill and the repairs only cost $95 👍🏼" and i did not know how to explain what those repairs had done. so i get in this car and my legs do not fit. they literally dangle over the hood and almost to the ground. i had to sit on the BACK of the driver's seat in order to keep my legs in so i can work the brake pedal (the gas was controlled by this weird handle on the steering wheel??). there was no windshield or roof. it still accelerated like a normal car so i went "hm, not safe, whatever" and just hoped i didn't tip over or anything.

drove out onto the road. it was daytime at this point, but by the time i made it to the corner to get on route 1, it was like, midnight. didn't see anything wrong with this. car only gets to 40 mph max. i am getting passed a lot. finally decide maybe i should drive on the sidewalk for my own safety and immediately after that, the car slooooowed way down, then died completely. my childhood friend Lauren was there for some reason - we inspected the car a little and concluded it wasn't going anywhere. i said i was going to ask my dad for a ride and she didn't have to wait with me, she was like "...okay" but didn't seem too happy to leave because i was stranded in the middle of the night in a rough area, though i guess she did leave because poof, gone. just as i'm about to text my dad, a car pulls up behind me - it's my brother, who asks if i need a ride. he makes me remove my jacket and shoes first so i don't get his car dirty. his car is inexplicably really cluttered - he had a tea kettle on a burner in there and everything - but finally i was allowed to get in. we stuck my car in his trunk, lol, and that's when i woke up.

also at some point i was in this huge mall where i might have worked in the Hot Topic? not sure what that was all about... maybe connected to the university dream

the only bit of THAT dream which was funny was the part where i was in a dorm and elected to take a shower in this tub that was weirdly placed in the middle of a hallway, right next to the stairs. it was very inadequately hidden by two small shower curtains. people kept walking by and going "who are you and why are you in our shower????" while i'm just casually using all their hair products. or stealing them. literally walked out with a few.

and at the end one of the girls i met wrote me this little story and drew a picture based on some tale i'd told her earlier, and it was adorable and i was so happy i took a photo of it with the other girl's phone and sent it to my own so i could keep it

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god i just remembered the freaky-ass dream i had last night

where i was in some house vaguely resembling my old one and i glanced into another room and saw a man climbing in through the window

and i freaked out and ran to alert my brother, who was kinda going to help me but then... didn't really? and this dude's chasing me through the house, trying to hurt me, and i kept throwing things and hitting him and it wasn't slowing him down?? and at one point i managed to get away, went downstairs, and found my dad and brother. my dad was half-naked. not the half i would've preferred. anyway he was all concerned when i told him what was happening but when the guy showed up again he just... forgot?????? and didn't help me at all? so i gave up and got my hands on a knife and cut the dude's throat so deeply i almost severed his neck. no blood. it didn't kill him and he had what looked like layers of bacon and lettuce and tomato instead of bones and arteries and whatnot. my dad took a piece of tomato from his gaping-open throat and ate it. i think i willed myself awake at that point because what the fuck.

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i've been trying to explain the dream i had last night, but i'll be damned if i can actually put it into words. it started with a 'let's get the team together for a heist' scene which rapidly deteriorated into 'we're actually going to hunt a giant buffalo who killed my dad' and went downhill rapidly from there. the Google Maps screenshots... the weird side-trip into LotR where Legolas and Gimli were strolling through the woods... the main female character's Russian little sister also hanging out in the woods... building weird traps... finding out the New Guy we'd recruited had actually heisted something and was going to jail... except he didn't go to jail, he was just on house arrest... driving 75mph through a residential neighborhood... New Guy claiming his neighborhood was a slum but it was really gorgeous (though it may not have had electricity??)... the backwards mahjongg game... the $20,000 gold-encrusted piece of chocolate... the woman and Russian sister going on a Christian TV channel to promote watches... little sister hitting on the also-female TV presenter and casually flashing her boobs on live TV (she was like 13/14 so this was. weird)... something about Deadpool at the end and little sister getting an actual badass girlfriend... god it was a mess.

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right before i woke up this AM i had a dream where i was like... some kind of live-in babysitter or au pair for a family on an island in Canada? i was 18 - this was specifically mentioned - and i'd taken this job because of something to do with Pokemon. don't really remember the explanation. anyway the family was Mom, Dad, and a son around 7; he had a French name i don't recall. nice kid. their house was pretty but i don't remember that either. i just know they lived in a semi-suburban little area (there were also a bunch of really skinny townhouses) right on the edge of a forest. after we had dinner i said i was going to take a walk, and i followed this path that ran behind a bunch of other houses' backyards before curving off into the forest. kept thinking i should grab my phone and take pictures to send you, but i wanted to get some in the woods so i headed that way. right after you reached the forest, there was actually a clearing to one side where the local school was, this really gorgeous brick building... ofc just as i got there, a couple of cops kicked me and some other people walking around out of the forest, because apparently there'd been a murder?? idk i was really disappointed because i wanted to take pictures for you, but then i woke up

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can't remember much from last night's dream... my family lived in this little house and there was a sort of shaved ice or snowcone shop attached to it? i guess that was our business? only part i remember clearly was my brother and i sharing a bedroom and i left the window open one night and a guy climbed inside. i think he was planning to hurt or kidnap me but i started yelling and he escaped back out the window.

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weirdass dreams last night. one of them had something to do with Brambleclaw (he had a different name i don't recall - Leaf-something?? - but i still knew it was him) and i think StarClan was sending him shitty visions that made him have seizures. also dreamed there were a bunch of huge blisters on my left thigh and beneath the thin bubbly blister-bit was like, NOTHING. i could see straight down this HOLE in my leg at all the fat and muscle and shit. they stung really badly and i finally went to my ex-nurse mother and asked if i should be worried about this, but she was like "nah nbd". didn't believe her. thanks a lot for the help, mom

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had a fuckin... uncomfortable dream where i was on this hill that had a chairlift to get to all the houses for some reason. there was also a really nice park by a school - i went to the park and hung out for a bit, and apparently there was some event happening at the school at the same time, because when i left, there were a few cops directing traffic. one of them stopped me and asked if i had been at the school and if i lived around here. when i said no, just chilling in the park, he made me get out and pretty much grope-searched me?! for some reason he thought i'd gotten surgery to hide a gun under my skin and was suspicious of these "scars" i don't actually have???? it was really really weird... luckily i think eventually his partner told him to let me leave, i clearly didn't have a weapon...

didn't even MENTION the part where my dream-boyfriend and i were sleeping in a double bed and some rando aunt of mine inexplicably joined us and may or may not have died there??? dream-BF either made her go elsewhere or just. disposed of her body if she was dead lol, and in doing so spilled Oatmeal Square cereal all over my floor

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had boba tea in my dream!! got it from this little stand in the shopping center across the highway from my old house. shopping center actually exists, but the stand does not... anyway i was extremely nervous because i had no idea how/what to order, but eventually i got myself a black tea (in frappuccino/milkshake form) with boba! they were also pretty busy so the guy also forgot to charge me for it lol. i wanted to take a pic to send you, but it was taking FOREVER for my phone to focus because it was so dark - btw it was like 10pm - so i decided to walk to the other end of the shopping center where the McDonald's was, in search of better lighting. had to go that way anyway since i'd left my car in a parking lot further down the highway (WHY i did this involves the earlier part of the dream, which made 0 sense, so we'll skip it). the Chinese takeout place we used to get food from was still there, but now it was a freestanding restaurant; i was going to walk through there, but couldn't find the door out once i was inside. had to go back out the way i came. someone might've been held captive in there, not really sure. kept going along towards the well-lit McDonald's, drinking my tea... i think i woke up around then

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woke up this AM and fell back asleep and had a short but awesome dream... i guess my family had moved to another house and my new bedroom was HUGE. had gorgeous French doors leading outside and everything, plus this massive bathroom that had two separate tubs - one was just a regular if large bathtub, the other was a hot tub i think? and whoever had lived in the house before us must've left without taking everything, because their stuff was still all over my bedroom. i was sorting through my things and finding so much of theirs in the process... i tried on a dress that didn't fit... found a bunch of posters in a box beneath the bed... there were all sorts of unfamiliar books... also found photo albums in the wardrobe and i was about to check them out because i wanted to know WHO had lived here, but then my cousins arrived and i had to go hang out with them instead, and then i woke up

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had this dream where i was in the front/side yard of my old house (which didn't look very much like my old house, but whatev), digging up all kinds of Legos from the dirt?? like, i have no idea why they were there or who buried them, but there were TONS and i was digging them out, cleaning them off, and putting them in a bin. finally realized it was getting late, so i went inside to wash up... and then found out it was the night of my graduation from junior high (properly called the 'Moving Up Ceremony' lol). cue panic because we were SUPER late and i didn't have time to do anything but wash my hands. so we drove over to the school, which again looked nothing like my actual junior high, and my parents and brother went to the LGI to sit down while i met the rest of the 9th graders backstage. everyone's all dressed neatly and the girls have purses and whatnot; meanwhile, here i am in dirty denim shorts and a tank top, carrying an empty ziplock bag????? i was deeply self-conscious about this but nobody really seemed to care, or at least they didn't tell me about it lol. the ceremony started, but for some reason they decided to split it into two halves - sat through the first half, then we were dismissed for like an hour to go have a meal in this enormous cafeteria, then we'd have the other half and get our 'diplomas'. met up with the fam in the cafeteria, but i wasn't really hungry, so instead i went outside and found a friend of mine named Liam. fyi, Liam is an OC i made up for something once.

anyway, he'd come in a golf cart and we hopped inside and drove off along a path through a bunch of hills until we reached a HUGE stone building. inside was very dimly lit and the floor was just a giant mess of sand. bunch of other people were digging around - apparently there were TONS of archaeological artifacts buried in this place and everyone was finding stuff constantly. i was like "hell yeah, finally my Lego dig experience comes in handy" and started digging through the sand too. found a gold coin almost immediately, followed by a couple other random trinkets. i also found these two stone boxes that had to be EXPLODED open - i inexplicably had a bomb on me, and Liam had a lighter and offered to blow them open for me, but i was like "no, let's wait until we're done, we might find more of these boxes and i only have one bomb. also people might panic." and then i woke up, so i have no idea what was in the boxes or if i ever went back to school for the other half of the ceremony.

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hmmmm dreamed i was walking around some little town at night, when it was kind of cold - not LATE at night, there were places open and a bunch of people milling around, and it would've been nice except i was inexplicably carrying Jazz with me and she wasn't at all happy about it. and in another part of the dream, i had a twin brother named Jakub (because i guess 'Jacob' is too mainstream? come on, at least make it 'Jaiykub'!). he died when we were kids, though; he either fell or got hit with something and fractured his skull so badly it killed him. RIP

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dream last night was weird... in one part i was at school and this dude and i went into a classroom together because he was supposed to be sort of a guide for a new student, a guy who also happened to be blind... anyway they're all sitting at a table working things out and meanwhile i'm just in the background loudly sharpening a pencil??? and somehow i screwed that up so i showered myself and the new student in pencil shavings??????? idfk... different part i was playing with Legos, yay. someone had built a huge house and i was messing around with it and suddenly realized there was a whole hidden section in the attic above the garage. except then i was really there and as i tried to get back down through the hatch in the floor i slipped and fell into the garage and broke my leg.

and the house (not the lego version, the actual one?) belonged to an old lady named Samantha who had all these sculptures and miniatures and tiny replicas of stuff in her yard... not sure why i was messing around in her secret attic, but i think i was looking for a photograph

AND there was also a part where my mom and i went shopping at some department store and i found a skirt i LOVED - it had a bunch of patches and pins on it - but it was $100, SUPER short, and probably wouldn't fit me anyway. i was trying to take a picture of it but failed miserably.

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hmmm last night's dreams... in one i was in my grandparents' old house in Deansboro, though it looked pretty Wrong lol. i went down to the basement where the garage was (except irl it was not) and was looking for something in the middle of the night in the dark?? and then suddenly i saw a door opening and someone stepping inside, and i freaked out and slammed the door into the guy???? he fell on the floor, groaning, and my grandfather came downstairs just as the guy jumped up and ran away... apparently it was some neighbor kid who kept breaking into their garage lol. and there was something else about finding these 'uneven arrows' (arrows with one side longer than the other i guess) carved into things to lead me to a box buried by a guy named Troy, who'd hidden his journal in a box underground... /shrug

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most of what i remember of my dream was living in this really pretty neighborhood somewhere in New England, very rural, with this little abandoned building down the road that was being turned into a cute post office, and another building just a bit further that had a couple things in it, and one was a cafe that sold bubble tea - i was going to get some boba and send you a pic and i was all excited about it, but that was the end of the dream

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can't really explain my dream except i was taking some kind of class that could only be summed up as "Capitalism: The LARP" but also we were all playing Warrior Cats

we were all these business owners and shit, except like half the class was given a leg up by having their business ready to go when we started, so they could just start making money. meanwhile the rest of us had to decide what we were doing and get our offices together and dig tunnels (????) so we could get from place to place... and THEN we could start making money... but also we were cats

that'll be the next series, just you wait

you thought cats with magic powers was bad... wait until they start dodging taxes

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you were in my dream! i was visiting you or something! we went for a walk on this wooden bridge over a narrow but deep river and you decided we should go for a swim, so you jumped in. i was unsure.jpg but once you proved it was pretty deep and i would probably not be harmed by all the random bits of wood floating in it, i left my headphones (?) in a geode-shaped box on the bridge (but held onto my phone i guess??) and jumped in too. we swam down the river a little ways until we reached the cave it flowed into. the opening was REALLY small and i was like "hell no", you went in a bit but turned around before it got too narrow and came back out. then we swam back to the bridge. then i woke up because the fucking emergency alert test thing blared through my phone at 4:45 am.

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had a dream last night where i had a bunch of relatives visiting, so my whole family went to an amusement park (i recall a sort of children's rollercoaster which inexplicably had entire parts of the track separated so the train could 'jump' between them, but it was actually closed down and the track was being properly connected because i assume someone realized that was batshit insane), and then we came home and i went to bed. next morning i got up and it was the last day my relatives were visiting - one of them noticed an ad in the newspaper and we decided we'd all go to some local carnival because admission was half-price. and instead i went off into the foggy woods with a bunch of friends and we explored a creepy abandoned bunker we'd found and, ofc, were attacked by the terrifying shapeshifter who lived down there. @ myself this is why, when faced with the choice between 'creepy abandoned bunker in the woods' and 'carnival', you always choose the carnival.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hiii! I was wondering if you have time, may you do a story about a hero and villain where the villain captured the hero and the villain is just calmly sipping tea in a fancy teacup and he is really really amused at the entire Scenario? Maybe some romantic/ sexual tension too if it's okay! Sorry if I didn't do this 'ask' thing correctly, I just joined tumblr and am getting used to it. Thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day!

"Tea?" The villain held up a cup.

"If I say yes, will you untie my hands?"

"Mm." The villain tipped his head, and made a show of scrunching up his nose. "No. I don't think so."

"Then how am I supposed to drink your bloody tea!"

The villain raised an eyebrow at the hero's tone, and took a calm sip of his own drink, acting for all the world like he was capable of being a civilised person who didn't kidnap people. "I can hold it up to your mouth for you."

"And I can spit hot tea in your face. It won't be so pretty then, will it?"

The villain's eyebrow rose a damning inch higher.

"Pretty like the devil," the hero said, after a beat, mortified. "Like a demon. Evilly seductive." Oh, god. "It's not a compliment! I don't think - you're not -" Crap. They bit down hard on their lip to keep from digging their rambling grave further.

The villain took another slow, excruciating sip in the silence. "So that's a no to the tea, then?"

The hero grit their teeth, because actually a cuppa sounded rather perfect after the day they'd had and the villain knew - the bastard knew - that the hero required regular hydration. It was the downside of their particular abilities.

"Tea," they growled, "sounds delightful."

The villain smothered a really quite obvious, and entirely too fetching, smirk. He busied himself with pouring out another cup, steam rising gently into the spring air from the fine china. He picked it up and approached the hero with a zen grace that made the hero, generally vibrating ball of fury as they were, want to kick him in the kneecaps.

The villain blew gently on the tea to cool it, and the hero tried not to stare at his (pretty) mouth, and so ended up staring intently down at the floor instead. Their face felt entirely too hot.

"There," the villain said, kneeling before the hero, holding the cup out.

The hero leaned in to drink, eager to put the whole agonising affair behind them both. It felt much too - vulnerable? weirdly intimate? - to drink from the villain's hands. They certainly weren’t supposed to feel so flustered.

"Careful now," the villain said. "It's almost as hot as you."

The hero, entirely unintentionally, choked and spat tea spluttering both at the villain's face and down their own front.

"Oh, dear," the villain said, entirely too mildly, entirely too amused, as the hero coughed. He reached for an honest to god linen handkerchief out of his pocket, dabbing at his face in a flourish of white, before the handkerchief was pressed against the hero's skin.

The tea hadn't actually done any damage, but the hero still felt like they were burning up.

"It's fine." The hero pulled back, not that there was anywhere to go. "I'm fine."

"That you are."

How was it possible that a voice so calm, so measured, could so spiritually sound like a purr? It was the look in the villain's eyes. Searing.

Fine. Hot. The hero looked away again, quickly.

They painfully aware of how close they were, of the fact that they could reach out and touch if their hands weren't taped behind their back.

"Unfortunately," the villain said. "Your shirt is not. That's going to stain if we don't get it in the wash quick. Do I have your permission?"

"What?" The hero felt entirely aggravated, and entirely dazed, and it was all the villain's fault. Because everything was his fault.

"Your shirt is covered in tea." The villain wiped the last of the tea (sexy, so sexy, note sarcasm. the hero wanted to die) from the hero's chin and nudged their jaw up so that their eyes met. "I'd be a terrible host to strip you without your permission, but it's going to stain. I can give you one of mine while I pop the uniform in the wash. If you say it's okay."

For a second, they stayed like that, the villain tipping their chin up like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like this was all so domestic. Like they weren't so damn amused. Like the hero wasn't hopelessly imagining the feel of the villain's unimaginably fine clothes brushing against their bare skin, filled with the scent of the villain's cologne.

"Hosting." The hero was sure they sounded strangled, when they finally managed to speak. "Because that's what this is." They shook their head, possibly despairing, possibly trying to clear their absurd thoughts. "Yeah, sure. Take my shirt. Why not at this point." At least the villain would have to untie them to...

The shirt disappeared and vanished in the villain's hands with a snap of his fingers.

The hero gaped at him.

The villain waved a dismissive hand, and the tea cup was left floating in the air in front of the hero as the villain wandered off to...actually put the shirt in the laundry. Why was that getting to them?

"You could have done that with the cup the whole time?" the hero yelped after him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Drink your tea, dear," the villain called behind himself. "You get grumpy when you’re thirsty. I'll be back soon."

The hero wasn't sure how much more of it they could take.

[lokisprettygirl]

Request

I just found your blog and I love it thank you if I may put a request in (never did this sorry if I mess up) could you do a nsfw one shot of Loki catches the reader in the middle of enjoying some some self pleasure activities and um lends a hand

Glad you enjoy my blog 💚, I got carried away with this request.

Warning : 18 +, female masturbation, thigh riding, degradation, dom loki

You could see his pectoral muscles struggling to breathe under the tightness of his shirt, you could count every muscle in his body. You were sitting in the training room and he was sparring with Thor. Once in a while they'd crack a joke or something and his shiny smile would give you butterflies. He kept moving his mouth as he chewed on a gum, that lucky bastard. Those thick thighs made you want to get choked around them, you were so in love with him and he had no idea.

 "Close your mouth or you'll start drooling" you heard Wanda's voice and snapped out of your daydream. You met Wanda online as a complete stranger then you both became best friends, when you realized she was an actual superhero you couldn't believe it. She always brought you at the tower to stay the nights and stuff and that's how you saw the God of Sex Mischief Loki. Some god he is.

"I don't know what you're on about wan" you cleared your throat and averted your gaze from him.

 "Ohh look your prince charming is heading this way..go crazy" your eyes widened, he was walking towards you and you noticed the bottle of Gatorade placed next to your seat 

"Hi darling, I just wanted to get that" he leaned down right next to you to pick the bottle up and then sat down next to you. You couldn't help but stare at how sweaty he looked, his dark gray t-shirt was soaked and normally the sight would make you cringe but he made everything look hot. His hair seemed soaked from the sweat too and you wanted to suck on the sweat pooling between the dip of his neck.

You didn't understand how he drove you so insane just by being himself, you watched him sipping on the drink, the way his Adam's apple bobbed with every gulp, the way a drop was clinging to the corner of his mouth. You'd sell your soul to be that drop, you wanted him to drink you in the same way. You mindlessly bit on your lips and he caught you staring. Great way to show him that you're not pervert creep

"Ummm does they do anything for you? Considering the godly high metabolism and all" you pointed towards the energy drink and he chuckled

"Not really, I just..enjoy the sweet scrumptious taste of it" Oh damn. No don't think about him sucking on your pussy. Do not let your mind wander in public and right in front of him

 "I haven't seen you lately darling where have you been?" He was trying to have a conversation with you? It must be your lucky day.

 "Yes work has been busy, I'm staying over tonight" he chuckled as you said that

"If I didn't know you well I would think of it as an invitation" He winked at you and your heartbeat sped up, your face flushed and you were on the verge of inducing a serious case of verbal diarrhea

"Uhh what..what ..um. No I just..I just wanted to tell you that I am staying..not because you asked or anything..you didn't even ask I'm sorry..I shouldn't have told you..I don't know why I told you to be frank..I was just.." he put you out of your misery and brought you closer to a sudden myocardial infarction as he placed his thumb on your lips to stop you from blabbering any further

 "I was just messing with you little thing, norns.. You're something huh" Now a normal person, not you, a normal person would nod or not say anything at all but you, you kissed on his thumb instead. You don't even know what compelled you to act in such a way but the ship has sailed and sinked deeper than the titanic. His eyes darkened at the gesture and he pulled his thumb away

"I should go take a shower, I need one now..see you around sweetheart" he winked at you again as he got up, you watched his perfectly carved tush walking away.  Then you banged your head on the back of your chair as he left. Now he must think of you as just another desperate girl who is dying for him to bed her. Wanda told you how the asgardian brothers had a flock of females dying to just get a taste of them.

After wanda finished her training sesh she took you to her bedroom,

"Okay look y/n i think I'll finally get to fuck vis tonight so unfortunately you can't stay in my room" 

"Wait what? Where will I go?" you glared at her and she squeezed her eyes, and gave you a huge wide smile

"Have you seen this tower? Hundreds of rooms..I'll make it upto you I promise..I'll show you another room ..come with me and Im sorry..pretty please but if I don't fuck vision tonight I'll die" she said everything so fast you just responded in an eye roll. 

She took you to another floor and showed you a room so you went inside. What will you do here all night? You groaned as you sat down on the bed, you looked around and it didn't look like a spare room, it looked homely but Wanda wouldn't just send you to an occupied room right? 

You decided to shower and change into the tank top and shorts you got to sleep in. Then you finally laid down on the bed, the green silky bedding was too soft on your skin. You loved the feeling of it, it also smelled really really good and it reminded you of someone. Loki. 

You thought about the conversation you had with him this morning, your hands wandered down your shorts as you thought of those thick thighs. This was a routine for you. You'd come here, get high on his presence and then get yourself off thinking about him. You couldn't help it , he was the walking talking sex machine, you have never seen a man who exuded sexuality from every pore in his body. 

You took off your shorts and the underwear followed, your fingers rubbed against your soaked lips. His fingers are so long and thick, your mind went into gutter as you thought of his slender digits pumping in and out of your pussy

"God Lokii..yess fuck..keep going" your fingers were not enough so you grabbed a pillow and pressed it between your legs, you got on your side and started to hump the pillow, grinding your hips into it 

"Fucking norns" your eyes opened wide and your heart stopped as you heard the voice. The voice, you'd recognise that voice anywhere. Normally you'd have screamed but today you just intended to humiliate yourself in front of him as much as possible. 

"Oh god oh god oh god" you quickly got up and tried to find your clothes but they were in the corner of the room. Your eyes met with his and he had a smirk on his face, but that's not what made your heart leap, it was the obvious erection he was hiding underneath his trousers. He crawled on the bed and placed a kiss on your ankles then he crawled on top of you like a leopard

"You don't realize that this is my room do you?" His voice sounded so whispery and low and it made your breath shudder. Operation kill Wanda would commence with full force now, but later, you had bigger, wetter, and messier problem at hand right now

"I'm so sorry I..oh god..wanda said nobody lived in this room..I " he cut you off again as he climbed on top of you. Okay you were half naked underneath him and he was on top of you, and this was not a dream. Cool.

"You were being so naughty little thing, are you always thinking of me when touching yourself?" Your face flushed, nipples strained your tank top as you felt his breath on your face, his cologne attacked your senses and his warmth made your core heat up even more

"I uhh..I " 

"You don't have to hide, it's okay, I was enjoying it alot" he picked up the pillow you were using to rub yourself against and he inhaled it in. The gesture made you curse loudly

"Ohhh Fuckkkk" 

"You smell so good, so slick with your need for me aren't you?" You gulped as he got closer and pressed a kiss on your neck

"Lokii..I.." 

"You're such a cute little midgardian, always so timid around me, you think I haven't noticed you harboring feelings for me? Want me to help you darling? Want me to touch you?" You could only whimper in response as he talked down to you like you were three. 

"Pleassse oh god please" your eyes teared up and it made him groan, you were so close to passing out but then you'd miss out on the sex god offering to make you cum. You were lost in your daydreams of him when you felt his fingers rubbing against your pussy, you didn't even register when he had pulled your knees up, spread them apart so obscenely and had started to play with you

"Look at you, you're so obsessed with me that you're dreaming about me while I'm right here playing with your drenched pussy" oh god yes you're obsessed and he knows that, you felt humiliated again but this felt different, this burned your desire for him even more

"I'm obsessed with you..lo. ..I think about you all the time..god please" he snickered as you said that

"So pathetic, so desperate for my touch, such a whore for me" you whined as he whispered filthy words in your ears, this was your dirty wet dream coming to life and you couldn't believe it. You gasped as he slipped his middle finger inside you and pumped it in and out of you slowly

You clutched onto his shirt and tried to pull it off him so he took out his finger and took his shirt off. His perfectly built chest and abs made you want to drool over him, you had a feeling he'd enjoy it though.

"Does it match your imagination?" He chuckled and you wrapped your arms around his neck then you licked on his neck. You didn't have to but you did and it was completely worth it when you heard him moaning in response.

"Fuck you are truly desperate for me aren't you? It's adorable darling" your hands ran over his body and he quickly made you sit up along with him. He sat down on the bed, his legs widened and he clicked on his fingers to make his trousers disappear. Magic okay. Cool 

You could see his bulge from over his briefs, you could tell he was big and thick and you wanted to.... before you could finish that thought he picked you up and made you sit on one of his giant thick thighs. As soon as your pussy rubbed against his rock hard muscles you let out a loud moan of his name

"Much better than the pillow isn't it?" He pulled your hair aside and ripped your tank top off your body so effortlessly as if was tearing up a paper. He could break you so easily and what a death it would be. You were all naked sitting on top of the god you thirsted over from a distance until this morning. Thanks Wanda. Your hips started to move on its own accord, he groaned as he watched your body rutting against him

"Fuck that's it, get yourself off little whore..mmm.. you're soaking my thigh with your juices, you're dripping all over me" his filthy words only edged you further 

"Live your dream little y/n" he flexed his muscles and the sensation felt so good against your swollen clitoris. You were so close..this was too much, he was too much.

"Keep talking please..I love your voice so much" you mumbled meekly

"I know you do, you love everything about me, you'd anything for me, I know you come here just to eye fuck me from the distance" he wasn't wrong, that's what you came here for 

"You come here to fuel your imagination so you'd have something to think of when you're being naughty in the walls of your bedroom" 

"Ohh yess..god I'm close" you moved back and forth as fast as you could, you could feel the coil threatning to snap any second

"Not anymore though huh, I have got you now. I'll fuck you and ruin you forever my pretty little whore, I'll make you all mine" And you came so hard, your nails dug into his shoulders as you crumbled all over him, your movements stopped so he grabbed your hips and continued to roll them over his thigh while ride on the ecstatic feeling. He watched your facial expressions turn a thousand times in the matter of a few seconds. You're beautiful, so beautiful to him.

Once you got back to your sense you hid yourself between his neck as you felt embarrassed now and not in the good way. 

"You're so hot little thing, so sexy" he whispered as he placed a kiss on your neck. When you looked at him your eyes were teary 

"Oh no..don't do that, don't regret it, do you regret it? he asked you in a voice laced with concern and care, you didn't know why you were expecting him to act all smug.

"Regret it? No I..I just..I don't know what you're thinking of me right now, I.." 

He cupped your cheeks and kissed you as you said that. God he was kissing you. When he pulled away you looked at him shocked

"That's what..I was thinking and I was thinking if you'd like to go out with me, if you'd allow me to court you?" 

"You want to d..date me?" You looked at him shocked and he tilted his head

"Do you not want to? Were you just using me to get off?" Your eyes widened, you didn't want to offend him and screw your chances

"No no no..please I didn't..mean it like that..I just" you only stopped babbling when you noticed the smirk

"Very funny..god you're so hot" he chuckled as you caressed his chest with your hands "Umm aren't you like used to this? Women throwing themselves on you?" 

"I am, but you didn't do that, even if you did I would have caught you in my arms, bring you back here and show you how much I wanted to do the same thing" his words made your heart skip several beats. You should be dead right now, how are you still alive?

"You do?" 

"You're adorable" 

"I am?" 

He chuckled and picked you up to get you cleaned up and himself too. You made a complete mess of his thighs. 

"Why do you think I requested Wanda to send you to my room?" 

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Yeah, you and the entire pack apparently," She muttered under her breath, knowing that Nico hadn't been home for more than a few minutes at a time in days. "No. It doesn't," She admitted. Her voice softening as she gave him a sympathetic shrug. "But doesn't mean there isn't a pattern to it either," She pointed out. "And as hopeless as it might seem, focusing on the details helps, doesn't it? At least with the stir craziness." At least for her anyway. As selfish as it might seem, she needed this. She needed to throw herself into the search and the clues, because if not, then what? She was some helpless wife waiting for her husband to come home and the missing people to show up while she lead a bunch of drunkards around on some bar crawl and communed with ghosts on some Halloween tour? She couldn't do it. She couldn't stay put or she'd drive herself insane. At least, following a trail of clues, no matter the dead ends, made her feel at least somewhat useless. Gave her hope that they'd actually be able to find them.

"She heard what?" Jas' head lifted. Her eyes widening at the new tidbit of information. Her hands already instinctively moved to her side to fish her notebook out of her bag so that she could jot this new tip down. "I definitely wouldn't disregard it. I mean for one thing, it means she's still a-" She cut herself off before she said the word 'alive' out loud, realizing that the implication that she could not be might not go over too well. She didn't know what was going on with JC and the Clan Leader exactly, not that it was any of her business regardless, but they did seem rather close during the Campfire retreat, so she could only assume this might be a sensitive subject. "Didn't she change her name back to Surya-Raja recently? Unless, whoever took them knew her as Moore? But, why go after M names? Though it is a weird coincidence if not a patten. Though, okay. You know Meena probably more than most. So, if you were in her shoes and she had a limited chance to reach out, what do you think she'd try to say? I mean we know whoever took them have been preventing telepathic communication and blocking their location somehow. So, if you only had what might be one shot, what would you do?"

"Oh, um, I know..." Jas pressed her lips together, glancing a tad too quick away at the mention of the Moore Manor being gigantic. A fact she now knew rather well from having snuck around the property after the police had left with Saleem. "Not stupid. Actually, it's pretty smart? I mean there is probably plenty of areas in the house that could be used that the authorities would not be privy do. But, that still doesn't explain how the ring would be left behind. I mean if she was still at the house, why didn't she take it with her? And if whoever took her got the upper hand and took it from her, why leave it in the front foyer? Why not dispose of it where no one could find it?"

"Oh," Her eyes widened once more as she watched JC's entire demeanor change. She could practically see the gears turning behind his hardened gaze as if debating whether or not he could trust her. "Nico and I aren't even really talking right now?" She admitted quietly. "It's a long story, but it's not exactly my place to be bringing anything up with anyone at the moment. What I mean to say is, it's safe with me. I promise. I won't put it in the podcast or anything, but yeah. I'm investigating. I, uh," She scrunched up the bridge of her nose as she found herself explaining. "I used to be an investigative journalist before coming here, which didn't exactly make the most sense of a profession to keep in a small town. Covering the high school soccer games wasn't really my thing. But, now, I, um, I've started this podcast and I, uh, I'm just really trying to get to the bottom of things. Same as you. Though, um, huh," She pressed her lips together as she mulled the further lead around in her head. "Yeah, I do. The way I see it, there are three possibilities that immediately come to mind? Either, A, it was taken by force. They could have knocked her unconscious and then rid her of the daylight ring as a precaution if she were to wake up. She was taken in broad daylight, though it was nearing dusk. So, the sunsetting does sort of defeat the purpose of removing it to begin with, but maybe they weren't too smart and left a paper trail or B, it might have slipped off during the struggle. But, how old is Meena again? Wouldn't a seasoned vampire know how to fight without their ring falling off? Especially when considering she's the Clan Leader at that. Or C, she knew they had gotten the upper hand and knew other people who know what it meant, so she left her own paper trail. A sure fire way of letting those who know her know that she had been taken against her will rather than having left town in a hurry? I don't know. They're just theories, but it's something at least, right?"

"I... I don't know? But, I also wouldn't right out them being not connected either. I mean what was it Lori said in the end? That this was only the beginning? What if this was her fall back plan all long. A failsafe or last hoorah on her way out as sick as that sounds? I am sorry though," She added on after a prolonged breath. "About both of them. But, I also, um, I know you and Meena were close and I don't know what was going on, nor is it any of my business, but if it was Nico, I'd be tearing the whole town down by now, so I don't really know how you're doing it, I guess?" She admitted quietly, followed by another small shrug. "Okay, yeah. Yeah that's smart. Lead the way?"

Crossing his arms, JC gave a gruff nod. "Yeah, I know. I've been sniffing around." This remark came as a strange, mostly humorless joke, but he really had been exploring Lunar Cove on all-fours these past few days, hoping to catch some stray hint of Dhruv on the link or to allow his heightened senses to guide him. Thus far, he had enjoyed no luck. And with nothing left to say, Júlio César simply sighed, eyes trailing to the distance as he listened to Jasmine speak. "Why anything? I've given up trying to make sense of this goddamn town. It never ends, does it?" He sniffed. What do they all have in common? What do they all have in common? That same question had spiraled around his own mind as he clawed fruitlessly for some kind of answer for days now, ceaseless and sleepless. "Mahir. Miller. Mehta. Meena..." He trailed off, something playing across his face. That Council meeting had not gone well, and he hardly wanted to dwell on it. But allowing his thoughts to turn back to it, to his own ill-timed, frustrated quip, JC found his jaw tightening.

"Aaliyah got an 'M' from Meena. A hint. A clue. I don't know. I thought it was useless to try to decipher it, but...Mahir, Miller, Mehta and...it fits, doesn't it?" He swallowed. "And it leaves Meena herself as...Moore. Moore Manor. M, M, M." He knit his brow. "Meena wouldn't leave home without her ring. Not willingly. Are we sure she...did leave it? That house is gigantic. There are probably areas no one even knows about. Rooms no one uses. Hell, secret passages. How hard did they search it? That's stupid, right?"

He was rambling a bit, but after a beat, he seemed to harden. "Meena's fucking brilliant. I mean, I wouldn't put it past her to leave something behind." He pursed his lips. "The ring, though? She...." JC swallowed. "Look, our last Council meeting...it went badly. I shouldn't have, but I held something back because...." Late night whispers were not his to share. "It doesn't matter. But I haven't even mentioned it to Nico. But...you're investigating, right? Making more progress than any of us? Meena's ring belonged to her father. He passed away when she was very young. It means too much for her to just leave around." His thoughts turned to his own father, to the conversation he promised to have surrounding his mother's magical history. "Do you think it means something?"

JC crossed his arms. "I don't know more than that. It just...I'm just...we just solved the Catalyst problem. Why is something else happening? Why can't we catch a goddamn break?" He grit his teeth. "I'll go with you. If you want help knocking on every door. I mean, everything is recorded now. We could try near the roads in and out too. A van would have had to drive in, right? We could maybe find out if and when it entered town limits."

[izzy-b-hands]

Lucius thinks maybe some gay sex will make Izzy better, or at least feel better? His theory needs proving, in other words, and what better way than to just literally test it by *checks papers* treating Izzy like a human being with feelings, treating him nicely, taking in interest in what he does (even if that is basically work and work alone usually), and finally treating him to a night out in a port with some shopping.

---

"You're cool if I fuck him?"

Pete nodded. "Not only that, but I want to make it a bet."

Lucius scoffed. "Are you doubting my skills?"

"Not you, I just mean that..." Pete hesitated and gestured towards Izzy. "He is... himself, ya know? Might not be an achievable thing."

"I don't believe that," Lucius said briskly. "I'm not only going to fuck him, but he might even be bearable as a person once I'm done."

--

"Can I help?"

Izzy frowned. "Why?"

Lucius picked up the nearby broom. "Why not? You always encourage us to do chores more often, so...here I am!"

Izzy nodded. "Broom is infested with spiders."

Lucius looked to his hand on the broom, eyes widening at the tiny black dots starting to crawl all over it.

"We should get a new one," Lucius smiled sheepishly and did his best not to drop the broom on Izzy as he shoved it away. As it was, he surely already shook off a spider or two in his direction on accident.

"You can let the captains know that," Izzy said.

They stood awkwardly for a moment.

"What did you come down here to do?" Lucius asked once the silence started to make his skin crawl. "I'd be happy to help."

"I don't think you would."

"You don't know that!"

Izzy shrugged. "Fine. You won't want to, but fine. Sick of arguing with the lot of you today."

He led Lucius further down the hall, into the jam room. There, a corner of the room had been reconfigured for his purposes.

"Oh," Lucius said as they sat in the corner. "These are a bunch of Ed's shirts."

"Aye."

"Are you...do you darn all his clothes for him?"

Izzy nodded, and picked up a purple crop top. "Thread is in the basket behind you."

He reached in and tossed Izzy a bundle of purple thread. "How often do you do this?"

"At least once a week. Used to be more, when he was with Jack more often. You can imagine how that went."

Lucius nodded and grimaced. "Does Ed know about this?"

"Presume so. That, or he doesn't care so long as his clothes show back up clean and fixed."

"I'm sure he cares," Lucius said. "He must wonder how his stuff keeps getting fixed up."

"He's got other things to worry about. That's part of what a first mate does, not that any of you would know that. Except maybe Olu. You take on everything else so your captain can concern himself with things that are actually important."

Lucius let the conversation die again. It was making him sad for Izzy, and that was a weird feeling he wasn't sure what to do with yet.

So they stayed silent. He helped grab Izzy new thread as he needed it, and folded the finished shirts as Izzy handed them over.

"Bored?"

Lucius shrugged. "Not really. Kind of nice, sitting away from everyone else for a bit."

Izzy stood with a soft groan, and retrieved the pile of shirts. "Planning to keep following me?"

"For now. If you don't mind."

"No stranger than anything else anyone's done on this godforsaken ship."

They traipsed back up and he followed Izzy to Ed and Stede's quarters.

Their captains were engaged in each other, though still clothed as they tangled on one of the new couches they'd stolen.

Lucius frowned when neither of them so much as looked up at their entering the room. They didn't say a word at Izzy putting away Ed's clothes for him. Not even a glance.

"That wasn't cool," Lucius muttered as they left. "He could have said thank you."

"Blackbeard doesn't need to thank me for doing my job," Izzy said.

"Yeah, I can't agree with that," Lucius said. "Let's get lunch and I'll explain."

"Unlike the rest of you," Izzy sighed. "I don't waste any of my time during the day with that."

"Literally all you've had is coffee," Lucius said. "You need food."

He took Izzy's hand and was pleasantly surprised when Izzy let himself be led towards the galley. Might have been out of shock, but he was going to take it as a win anyway.

--

They walked in, and the galley cleared out.

"Ah," Lucius started, but Izzy waved him off.

"That's normal. Understandable. Anyway, what do you want?"

"I can get my own food," Lucius sighed. "Turn off work mode for two minutes, and eat."

Izzy promptly got a cup of coffee, and sat at the table.

"I know you did that to irritate me, and I don't care," Lucius said with a smirk. "And I'll show you why."

He grabbed one of the few square plates they still had, and piled it full with the leftovers Roach had yet to put away: fresh hardtack that wasn't actually as hard as a rock yet, boiled chunks of potato, and sandwiches. He grabbed three of the latter; it wasn't subtle, but he didn't need subtle right now.

He sat across from Izzy, and popped a potato chunk into his mouth.

Izzy's eyes ran over the plate as he sipped his coffee. But he didn't say a word.

"Don't see you eat much at dinner either," Lucius said in between bites. "Or do you seriously survive on coffee alone?"

"I'll find something at night," Izzy replied. "Usually. Need something to do while on watch anyway."

"That's really unhealthy," Lucius said. "Besides, you must be hungry. I won't force you, but-"

He moved the plate to be more in the middle of the table. "Feel free. I won't tell if you don't."

He was still shocked when Izzy took a sandwich, quickly, as if he expected Lucius to try and take it away.

--

Over the rest of the day, they:

-brought Ed and Stede numerous cups of tea or coffee, with Izzy so oddly attuned to their usual general schedule that he just Knew when to motion towards the galley and then find the captains, who at least smiled at him each time. Lucius had been hoping for at least one thank you, though.

-Did more laundry. Not just repairing everyone's clothes, gathered from the various corners claimed as storage by each person, but washing them in an old wash bucket Lucius didn't even know they had below deck. The line to hang them went from one side of the jam room to the other, where the light could filter through from the deck above and help dry everything.

-Cleaned more than he thought was possible in one day. From swabbing the deck to watching Izzy scrub and chip away at the barnacles on the hull. He helped in bits and pieces, mostly handing Izzy whatever he asked for.

Finally, Izzy paused in front of his room. "Well. That's it, for now."

Lucius nodded. "Time for a break! You deserve it."

Izzy didn't seem to know what to do with that. "I guess? I usually stop long enough to nap before night's watch."

"You can't be assigned watch every night," Lucius chuckled. "Where's the chart Captain Stede put up?"

Izzy led him to it, a short distance as it was now tacked onto one of the walls in the closet Izzy had taken over as his room.

On it, everyone else's name had been scratched off.

"Did you do this?" Lucius asked. "Izzy..."

"I got sick and fucking tired of waking up and finding the deck empty," Izzy scowled. "No one in the crow's nest. Buttons is sometimes out there of course, but he's moonbathing then. So, yeah. I took it, crossed out everyone else, and I take watch every night now. At least it gets done then."

Lucius nodded. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to do that."

"What?"

"You sleep a little, and I'll meet you tonight for watch, okay?"

He walked out with Izzy still muttering in confusion. He needed to talk with the captains.

--

"So, it's just. Really weird to me that no one noticed and addressed this earlier," Lucius concluded. "I mean, I hate some of the stuff that needs doing and I'm not exactly eager for it, but..."

"Let him do it then," Ed shrugged. "If it makes him happy."

Lucius scoffed. "That's it?"

"I think someone might be a little sweet on Izzy," Stede smiled. "That's kind of you, Lucius."

"What the fuck is going on here?" Lucius asked in shock. "I know you two can be bitchy, as can we all, but what the fuck?"

"Lucius!" Stede said sharply. "I could ask the same of you!"

"Maybe I just realized how much he does and how that's like...all he does, and if that was me I'd want help! Or a break, or at least some acknowledgement!"

"He's a first mate," Ed said gently. "He knew what that meant when he took the promotion."

"Wow," Lucius said. "So, what about chores makes him happiest, do you think?"

Ed blinked, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Because I think he couldn't tell me or you two what actually makes him happy, because he doesn't think about anything besides work and how to keep living off of mostly coffee. Did you know he usually skips lunch? I had to tease him with food until he finally broke down and ate something!" Lucius said sternly. "If you care about your first mate like you say, then that means caring about him beyond his ability to wash and rehem your shirts!"

He turned on his heel and walked away before they could get another word in. They could let that all marinate in their minds and figure out how they could be better. For once, they could do that part on their own.

--

"Brought you this," Lucius handed Izzy a wrapped sandwich. "Had Roach make it fresh before he went to bed."

"He did not agree to make me food this late," Izzy said, but he took the sandwich.

"I may have told him it was for me, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

The crew had taken to sleeping below deck, after a few squalls had taken them by surprise and soaked them to the skin. That meant an eerily silent and empty deck to traverse.

"You can eat," Lucius encouraged him gently. "I can help keep an eye out while you do."

Izzy looked at him, seemingly studying him. Then, he considered the sandwich in his hand.

"Alright."

They settled up in the crow's nest, so Lucius could easily see out, and Izzy could sit and relax while he ate.

"This is sort of nice," Lucius remarked as he watched the moonlight glimmer off the crest of each new wave. "Sandwich good?"

He looked, and had to laugh. The sandwich was gone, in the blink of an eye nearly.

"Did you taste it?"

Izzy nodded. "Thank you for that."

"Of course. Someone has to keep you from wasting away on us."

The tension that fell was a new one. An expected one, for Lucius, though he hadn't thought they'd get there in one day. Leave it to Izzy to surprise him with lingering glances and a hand creeping closer to his.

"You can go to bed, if you want."

Lucius frowned. There was the usual Izzy. "I'm good, actually. Unless you'd rather be alone."

He waited for the gruff command to fuck off, but it didn't come.

--

He didn't want to be smothering, so he let Izzy be for the next day or so. Checked in, brought him food, but otherwise let him get about his business. Ed and Stede seemed to be paying extra attention to that as well, and he didn't want to distract them from seeing that Izzy, for all his faults, did clearly care about all of them and the ship. If he didn't, why would he bother with all the work he did? He could just as easily have left and joined a different crew, a more traditional one.

But he didn't, and Lucius felt like that was important.

On Friday, he changed it up again.

"So, you know how Pete is happy to share me and have fun with everyone now and again," the words tumbled out. "And I thought maybe, since we're stopping at a port for the next night or two, I could take you out."

Izzy stared, and Lucius worried he'd actually broken him.

"Me? How much did everyone else bet you to do this?"

Lucius shook his head. Pete had never formally made his mentioned bet anyway. "No one bet me. No one is making me. I want to."

Izzy couldn't seem to look him in the eyes, but he nodded.

"That would be fine."

--

"I figure shopping, food, inn?"

Izzy nodded. "You told the captains we'd be gone?"

Lucius couldn't hold back a roll of the eyes. "Yes, Izzy. They know we'll be on land for tonight and at least part of tomorrow. It's all good."

"I just don't want them wondering why things aren't getting done, that's all. You can't tell me you'd want to listen to that whining if we'd get back and find them out of the loop, thinking we'd fucked off to who knew where."

"That's true," Lucius admitted. "Come on. I have an idea."

He knew very well that Izzy had nothing for clothes aside from what he wore. He'd watched him strip down to clean and hang them to dry for fuck's sake, sitting in nothing but his underclothes while he waited to be able to dress again.

"I know it isn't anything as fancy as Captain Stede wears, but I also know you like your leather anyway," Lucius said as he led Izzy into the shop. Its walls were mainly lined with leather clothing, but there were linen and cotton blouses too, all in black or dark navy or deep plum. Nothing bright or airy, but if that wasn't what Izzy wanted, then why bother with it?

"We can't afford this," Izzy said. "For either of us."

"When was the last time you got new clothes?"

Izzy glared and thought. "1709."

"That shirt has survived almost ten years?!"

Izzy looked down at his shirt. "It isn't that bad."

"I can see through parts of it!"

"It's usually warm anyway, that is a feature, not a fault!"

"Oh my god...my point is, you deserve something new! You can still wear that thing until it disintegrates into a fine dust, but at least you'll have another option!"

He expected Izzy to fight against being pulled into a dressing room, but he didn't. Nor did he fuss at Lucius coming in with him, calling out to the tailor what would need adjusting before they left.

To his delight and shock, Izzy left the shop in one entirely new outfit, and with an extra new shirt.

"See, not so bad, right?" Lucius asked as they dodged people walking the main path.

"Could we stop at the room?"

He nodded. "Of course! There's no rush to do anything else right away. We can go out later and get food, could even bring it back to the room with us for the night!"

There was tension again, but he wasn't entirely sure which kind now as they made their way to the dingy building that had the gall to call itself an inn.

"Hey, I know this was kind of a lot," Lucius said as they got inside the room. "And I sprung the shopping thing on you at random, I know. I just had heard about the shop and figured-"

Izzy damn near actually threw himself at him, with enough force to make Lucius stumble as he caught him.

The kiss was just as forceful, which he didn't mind. It wasn't anger behind it like some of Izzy's other actions. It was want and need and an urgency Lucius was more than familiar with himself.

"Is that a thank you?" he asked softly after Izzy broke the kiss.

Izzy looked stunned. "You aren't upset."

"No? Why would I be? Honestly, if you hadn't made a move tonight then I would have at least asked if you were interested or not."

Izzy still looked stuck, wheels turning in his head.

"Come here," Lucius pulled him towards the bed. "Be lazy with me. We'll go out and find food later."

He didn't expect Izzy would fall into it so quickly, without any grumbling. But he kicked off his shoes by Lucius', and tossed his new black leather vest to the floor, only to promptly pick it back up.

"Doesn't feel right, doing that," Izzy blushed. "It'll take enough abuse later as it is."

"You're cute," Lucius smiled. He meant it genuinely. It was adorable watching Izzy brush nonexistent dust off the vest before gently setting it over the chair in the corner of the room.

"I think you must have me confused with someone else," Izzy said.

"No, I don't," Lucius replied. "The bed is cold; come warm me up."

That he didn't have to ask twice.

Izzy climbed onto the bed and into his arms, and after a moment, relaxed there.

He melted into the lazy slow kisses Lucius gave him, kissing back with unexpected but welcomed wandering hands.

"Just take it off," Lucius teased after Izzy's hands lingered under his shirt for the third time in as many minutes. "Take yours off too, while you're at it."

Izzy sat up, tossed his shirt off, and waited for Lucius to do the same. Fingertips tapping, eyes wandering over Lucius.

"You can't wait, can you?" Lucius asked. "I'm not teasing. Just asking."

He finally pulled off and tossed his shirt away. "Come here."

He'd always figured Izzy was a better lay than he might have seemed. There was far too much passion (for his job, Ed) overall for it not to exist in the same capacity in bed.

Now, with Izzy in his lap kissing him breathless, it seemed he had proof. The start of some, at least.

A hand toyed at the waistband of his trousers. Izzy kissed him again, gently, before asking: "May I?"

"I appreciate the asking and you absolutely may," Lucius smiled. "I didn't know if fucking would be a step too far too fast-"

"We can play it by ear," Izzy said as he climbed off of Lucius so they could finish undressing. "If we don't want to do everything, we don't have to."

Lucius nodded and let himself stare.

It wasn't like he'd ever have said Izzy wasn't hot. He was; from the silver in his hair (that if he kept growing it, would be fun to tug and play with) to the hair that covered his chest and the strong muscles that were on show regularly if one followed Izzy around while he worked.

But that was while he'd still held more distaste for Izzy, more frustration. Now, knowing more of Izzy meant it was an active and warm attraction that left him dying to find a way to show it more.

He finished stripping, waited for Izzy to do the same, then walked to him. Kissed him hard once, before dropping to his knees to open his mouth and let his tongue loll out. He didn't want to leave any question about what he wanted next.

"Fuck," Izzy murmured, a hand reaching out to cup Lucius' face in his hand. "How does Pete get anything else done if you do this around him?"

"I figured you would say you knew exactly why he doesn't get more done now," Lucius teased. "I'm a horrible distraction."

"A distraction maybe," Izzy said, as Lucius leaned into his hand enough to press a kiss to it. "But not horrible."

"I almost think you like me."

"I think I might."

[electricopolis-net]

Bob Sparker and the Static Addicts (Part 2)

"MAJOR STAR DISAPPEARS!" read the headline. "WHERE IS BOB SPARKER?"

Front and center of the newspaper was a photograph of Bob grinning ear to ear as he signed autographs outside of the studio. "Bob Sparker, well-known game show host and one of Top Tier's highest earners, has never been late for work," read the article. "Only very rarely, due to medical issues, has he ever missed a day..."

Kelly looked down further in the story, skipping past the biographical patter. "The last time witnesses recall seeing Sparker was after Saturday's taping of primetime game show Shock 'Til You Drop, when he signed numerous autographs and joked with his fans. After security waved them away, Sparker entered a dark car with one of them and exited the scene. Since then, any attempts to contact him have failed, and neighbors report not seeing him return home."

Kelly looked back at the image, scanning it for clues. The first thing he noticed was that, while Bob was signing one of the autographs, he wasn't looking at the adoring fan he was signing it for. His head was turned, his mouth open, smiling at...a familiar face with sleepy eyes, messy hair, and a faint, patchy mustache. Matthew Kuromori. 

The young man had an arm around Bob's shoulders and appeared to be tugging on his lapel with the other. His head was turned towards Bob as if he were whispering to him. 

Kelly felt his stomach twist. He knew that kid hadn't been up to any good, although, to be fair, his hunch was based mostly on jealous suspicion. Was he the fan Sparker had entered the car with? Where had they gone?

He paced around his living room, thinking, feeling the slow chill of nervousness crawl up his body. Certainly the police were involved, if there was a write-up in the paper. They'd be able to do more than Kelly Kim,aging radio star, surely could. And Mr. King of Top Tier wouldn't spare any expense to find his number one earner.

And then Kim remembered:

"Did you run this past your manager?"

"My manager?" Bob reflected. "No, I didn't tell anyone. I wanted it to be a surprise."

Kelly groaned and rubbed at his face. Had Bob been meeting with his fan club behind his crew's back the whole time?

The fan club...

Kim turned around. The packet of letters was still sitting on the desk from where he'd haphazardly tossed them after Bob stormed out the door. He drew close to them, reaching out his hands to shuffle through the pile. None were from Matthew, but one of them--a yellow package envelope--had the home address of a Miss Evelyn Lee.

---

"Oh, Mr. Kelly Kim!" Evelyn gushed as she opened the door to her modest townhouse. "The cowboy! Please, come in!"

"Thanks," he said, smiling nervously as he stepped over the threshold. "Sorry for callin' on you like this out of nowhere. I just want to ask a few questions."

"It's my pleasure. Just imagine, having a radio star come to my humble home!" Evelyn laughed, walking past her living room to the kitchen. Kim peeked in the living room as he passed: there was an ironing board set up with a white T-shirt with a cartoon of Bob's face printed on it. Kim looked away. "Can I get you something to drink, sweetheart?" she cooed. "Some tea or coffee?"

"No, thank you very much," Kim said in his deep voice. "I actually wanted to ask if you'd seen Bob recently. Everyone's looking for him."

"Oh, that nasty business," Evelyn sighed, putting a hand to her face. "I do hope Matthew knows what he's doing. That whole business about 'making Bob Sparker exceed his limits' sounds so...ominous."

"His limits? What?" Kelly stammered, shaking his head and trying to focus. "What exactly is Matthew going to do?"

Evelyn shrugged. "I wish I could tell you, dearie, but Matthew wanted to keep the whole thing a big surprise from us plebeians. I tell you, the boy's a darling, but he drives me crazy not letting me in his 'inner circle!'" She busied herself with putting on a cup of coffee as she yammered on and on, seemingly unconcerned by what she was saying. "He says it's something about the initiation being too much for an old lady to handle. Well, the joke's on him: I'm not even that old! In any case, I've been part of the fan club since the beginning, so you'd think I would be allowed. Humph... Are you sure you don't want something to drink?"

Kim held up a hand. "No, no, I'm...I'm fine. Where is he? Where can I find him?"

"Well, I can tell you where he lives. He's on the far side of 2-2, in a big old house right up against the city walls. You can't miss it; it's made out of black wood. And if he happens to be there," she said, her face betraying a sly smile, "give him a good box on the ears for me, will you? And tell him that he should really be treating old ladies like me with more respect!"

---

She was right: it was a hard sight to miss. The Kuromori house was a slightly run-down, slightly lopsided monster of a house, made entirely of ebony wood and wrought iron. It towered over the rest of the lot it was on, which was bare save for a sorry-looking wooden bench. 

Kim hesitated. There was a good chance Matthew was inside the house. Was he ready for this? Half of him wanted to run away and leave the whole matter to the cops, but from the sound of things, time was ticking, and Bob might not have much of it left.

He tried the doorknob, and it turned easily. He pushed the door inwards and it swung open with a creeeeak. Kim stepped inside.

The house was full of dust, and the nearby lightswitch didn't seem to work, so Kim pulled out a heavy flashlight and flicked it on. A carpet led up a nearby hall from the foyer to the kitchen, passing a room he guessed was a parlor. And directly in front of him was a flight of stairs that led up to the second level. He swung the flashlight upwards, revealing a teenage girl with pale skin and long, black hair, clutching a knife in her hand.

Kim let out a yelp and jumped so high he nearly hit the ceiling, but the girl simply looked at him stonily. "You a burglar?" she asked.

"N...no," he gasped, putting a hand over his heart. "No, ma'am, I'm not."

"Oh." She lowered the knife. "Okay, then. You could have just knocked, you know."

"A-apologies, ma'am." Kim was still vibrating with shock. "Uh, I'm looking for someone."

"Is it my big brother?" she responded in a deadpan voice. "If you're looking for him, he's not here. He's off playing with his little fan club."

"How--how much do you know about the fan club?" Kim asked, finally regaining some of his composure. "Can you tell me what he's gonna do with Bob Sparker?"

"Buddy, I can't tell you what the hell he's on about, ever." The girl shrugged. "I'm trying to do a podcast and he's on the phone talking about how Bob Sparker is what the town needs to survive, and I'm just like, damn, shut up already. I'm trying to record. He should go marry the guy if he loves the little gremlin so much."

"What's a--" Kim was about to say 'podcast,' but he shook his head. "Never mind. Do you know where they are now?"

"Yeah." She hesitated. "Wait, who even are you? Why should I tell you any of this?"

"I'm a friend of Bob's," Kim explained. "Kelly Kim."

The girl pulled back, her eyes wide. "Oh my god. You're Cowboy Kim? The radio guy? Oh my god, you are. You got the voice and everything." She waved her hands close to her face, almost squealing. "I gotta ask you about your setup! What kind of microphone do you use? Should I get a pop filter after all?"

"Ma'am," Kim said, exasperated, "I'd be happy to answer your questions, but right now I'd like to stop your brother from doing whatever he's gonna do to my friend."

"Right, right. Serious time." The girl's face fell back into her normal stony visage. "Anyway, there's this power plant he and his weird friends hold parties at down in the first tier. He said he was gonna go there and not be back until late. Here, I'll write it all down for you."

As he held the flashlight, Kim watched the girl write down an address. And, underneath it: akuromori@ttmail.com. "That's my email," she said. "The name's Annie Kuromori. Drop me a line once you're done kicking my weird brother's ass. I wanna collab."

---

Normally it was impossible to get into the maintenance level without authorization, but before he had left, Annie had explained how to get to the power plant without being seen. "Just be careful," she said. "My brother's kind of a pushover, but I don't think his goons are. You'd better take something with you."

And that was how Kelly Kim, aging radio star and part-time cowboy, found himself sneaking into an abandoned power plant while clutching an aluminum baseball bat to his chest. It wasn't hard to figure out where exactly they had taken Bob Sparker: the lights along one exterior stairwell grew brighter and dimmer, rhythmically, like the beating of a human heart.

The pulsing lights grew stronger and stronger as Kim ascended the stairwell, criss-crossing along the outside of the structure as it jutted high into the air. Above him arched the cavernous ceiling of the maintenance tier; he could hear something echoing off of it. Something that sounded like a cry.

Kim leaned over the side of the stairwell, squinting up past the lights, trying to see toward the roof. He was still only halfway there, and if Bob was in danger, he might be running out of time...

He looked around. There was a ladder that traveled up on the outside of the stairwell. Kim steeled himself, tucked the bat under his arm, and started climbing up the ladder. As he drew closer and closer to the roof, he could hear voices that grew louder, and as he pulled himself up onto the top of the power plant, he finally, finally saw Bob Sparker.

He looked terrified. He was standing on the roof with his arms out to the sides, his wrists bound with copper cables that were bound to the jutting spires of the distribution machinery. Near him was Matthew Kuromori, his back to Kim, holding a walkie-talkie.

Kim barely had time to look Bob in the eyes before a blast of electricity crackled along the wires and into the man's body. He yelped, his hands tightening into fists, his body stiffening up. There was a faint smell of smoke and ozone in the air.

"I'm telling you, I need more power!" Matthew ordered into the walkie-talkie. "It's not enough!"

There was a crackle from the transceiver. "We don't wanna kill him!" said someone; Kim wasn't sure, but it sounded like it might have been Cecil Notus, the treasurer of the club. 

"Aw, stop your whining!" came a young, bratty voice from the walkie-talkie. Lucy, probably? "How's he holding up, Matthew?"

"He's fine," Matthew responded. Bob was anything but: he panted heavily, his body sagging against the wires. "Give him another jolt."

"Stop!" Kim cried out. 

Matthew turned around to look at Kim, and grinned at him from under sleepy eyes. "Oh, it's you," he said nonchalantly. "You're just in time. Pull up a seat and maybe you'll get to see the fireworks."

Kim advanced on him, brandishing the baseball bat. "What are you doing? What are you talking about?" he demanded. "What's going on here?"

Matthew's grin grew broader. "History, Mr. Kim. I'm giving this city what it needs--what it deserves." He lifted the walkie-talkie to his lips. "Hit him again."

Another jolt. There was a sizzling sound as Bob cried out again, louder, his body writhing in the cables. "You see," Matthew intoned, "what I'm doing is pushing Mr. Sparker here to his limits--past his limits. When a human transcends their limits, only then can they become a god!"

"You're killing him!" Kim cried out. "Stop it, before I--"

"Before you what? Beat me with a baseball bat?" Matthew laughed. He squatted down and waved a hand. "Girls!"

A pair of shapes stepped out from the shadows. Kim blinked. He recognized them as Fujiko and Raiko, from their body types, but their faces were hidden behind smooth, egg-white masks. 

Before Kim could say anything, Fujiko lunged at him. Her long, pale arms shot outwards, and it was all Kim could do to duck just in time to feel the air whistling past his head. Unfortunately, Raiko was shorter than her partner, and she was able to knock Kim to the ground with a well-placed punch. Soon the two were bending his arms behind his back, making him groan with pain as he struggled to his knees.

"Nice try," Matthew chuckled, leisurely walking over to him and placing a knee underneath Kim's chin. He tilted it upwards, forcing Kim to look him in the eye. "You're pretty fit for an old guy."

Kim gritted his teeth. "So you're all in on it," he said. "This was never a fan club, was it?"

"Oh, it's totally a fan club. We love Bob Sparker!" Matthew laughed, turning to where Bob panted and heaved in the cables. "That's why..." 

He paused to pull off his long, striped sweater. Kim gawked. Crawling up Matthew's arms were long marks like lightning bolts, pinkish-red on his pale skin. They traveled all the way from his fingertips up his elbows and down his torso, converging on his heart like a map of his nerves.

"We want to be just like him," Matthew said. "We electrocute ourselves. This is what you have to do to become a member of the true organization...the Order of the Shattered Sky." He drew himself to his full height. "We're the only ones who see Bob Sparker for what he really is, and what he truly can be--the god of Electricopolis!"

There came a faint whisper. "Stop..."

Kim turned his head. So did Matthew. Bob raised his head slowly from where he hung from the cables, wincing as he did so. "I'm not anything like that," he protested quietly. "I'm not a god..." He hung his head. "I'm just a guy on TV."

"What? That's not true!" Matthew said. He knelt down, grasping Bob's face in his hands and turning it upwards. "You can withstand more shock than any of us! People line up for months just to get a taste of your power," Matthew explained with a fervor that made Kim shiver. "And they come back for more! They worship you!"

"No." Bob turned his head away, breaking the boy's grasp. "I--I don't want that. That's not what I want to be."

Matthew looked at him for a long moment, then began to shake with anger. "Too bad!" he spat, "because that's what you are!" He raised the walkie-talkie to his mouth once more. "Cecil! Lucy! Hit him a--"

All of a sudden, Bob brought a knee up into Matthew's stomach, making him double over in pain. Fujiko and Raiko lurched forward reflexively, and Kim took the opportunity to wrench his arms free and yank their legs back, one of Fujiko's legs in one hand and one of Raiko's in the other, sending them slamming face-first to the ground.

He looked around, grabbed a coil of nearby cable and quickly looped it around their ankles and wrists, hog-tying them with a practiced ease. Matthew looked from him to Bob and back again, and, not liking his chances, turned tail and fled for the other stairwell.

"He's getting away!" Bob yelled.

"Nope," was all Kim said. He grabbed the cable, looped it together, swung it round his head and sent it flying towards Matthew Kuromori, a picture-perfect lasso toss that yanked the boy back so hard he fell backwards onto the rooftop.

With Matthew and his henchwomen seeing stars, Kim raced over to unbind his friend. "You okay, Bob?" he asked. "Usually you can handle a shock or two."

"That...that was stronger than anything on the show," Bob laughed weakly, slumping against Kim's broad frame. "I guess I'm not much of a god after all, huh?"

Luckily, Bob had his cellphone in his pocket, and the police arrived not soon after Kim made the call. In the few moments before they and the media showed up, Kim and Sparker sat together on the rooftop of the power plant, with Kelly Kim's strong arm wrapped around Bob's shoulders.

"I'm sorry about all that stuff I said," Bob sighed, leaning against his friend. "About you being old-fashioned."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said about your job."

"No, no, you're right." Bob looked downward. "I'm starting to think this game show host gig isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"Well..." Kim looked out over the expanse of the maintenance tier, dotted with lights. In the distance, he could see the sparkling blue and red lights of the cop cars coming nearer. "I wouldn't blame yourself for this one. I don't think anyone could have seen this kind of thing coming."

"I guess not." Bob let out another sigh. "I just..." He trailed off. "I really am not like you at all, am I?"

Kim looked down at him, a pang of sadness in his heart. "Hey, now," he said quietly, giving Bob's shoulder a little shake. "Enough of that. You don't gotta be anything except Bob Sparker. That's enough for me."

"Kelly..." Bob smiled. He sat up and closed his eyes, giving Kelly Kim a brief kiss. "Thanks for saving me, cowboy."

Kim blushed. "Anytime, partner. Anytime."

[yesimwriting]

Chapter 4 had me blushing like a schoolgirl, but also had me ready to call 911 because of Stu's complete disregard for boundaries 😭 Billy did the same thing, but at least he knew better than to go any further. Stu was trying to put A BUN IN THIS OVEN 😭 I glossed over any possible smut bc I didn't wanna read it, but I read a couple lines in and NAHHH you ain't giving me no kids. These two are the type to get you pregnant on purpose to forever chain you to them and I'm terrified that history is about to repeat itself. I already feared that Y/n was gonna be a Rory 2.0, but I didn't think Billy and Stu would move this fast.

The part where Y/n was like "I need you guys" made me WANNA DIE. GIRRLLL, you need to just shut up. They do not need to be praised; they need to be kicked out and TASED. We need to steal Well's taser and show them what happens when they try to take advantage of us. Imagine how devastated Y/n would have been to know she slept with them...she wouldn't be able to look Tate and Sid in the eyes. Y/n was so drunk she wouldn't have been able to probably fight back much. If she did fight back, they would be like "you want this, you know you do," but I also feel like Billy MAYBE would have stopped if he saw that Y/n was crying and clearly scared of him, but idk about Stu. I feel like Stu is more twisted and he'd be too selfish to stop.

I was surprised at how fast they were moving, but it just goes to show how little of a threat they see Gloria as. Billy and Stu are not scared of Gloria or Wells and that's a problem bc who else is going to make them back off? Y/n basically lied with that "making progress" comment and I'm so happy Gloria is so protective bc she isn't gonna be afraid to call Billy and Stu out and she's the only other strong support system Y/n has. She has a very strong influence on Y/n, and she will be able to convince Y/n that she might not be able to trust them. Billy and Stu are jealous of their relationship, but their so confident that Y/n 'needs them' that Gloria not liking them is an afterthought. I'm so ready for Gloria to give Y/n some advice 😭

love your reactions!! obsessed with you tbh,, asks about final girl make my day

i'm glad you felt that way bc that's what i was going for 😭 like a few moments that are a little like aw <3 and then something else happens and it's like...wait a minute 👀that's ...not right AlSO BUN IN THE OVEN PLS GLORIA WOULD KILL THEM ALL SHE'S SO CLOSE TO HAVING HER IVY LEAGUE DAUGHTER DREAM FULFILLED

also "These two are the type to get you pregnant on purpose to forever chain you to them" SO REAL, THEY WOULD LOWKEY,, especially if they feel like Y/n likes kids?? but also at the same time i feel like they'd have fun with it for five minutes and then get mad if you cared more about your kid than them 😭 but i'm not a fan of writing the pregnancy trope, so the odds of this actually happening are kinda low lol (might do something that draws parallels to history repeating itself tho 👀)

and Rory 2.0!! (you watch gilmore girls!! ahh!!) i do kind of get a rory energy from y/n now that you brought it up lol. Single mom support system, ivy league dreams, potentially derailing their future for a boy(s).

also boundaries!! that's such a big thing here! In Stu's "defense "(and i use that word loosely), he doesn't mean to push boundaries like that. Not deep down (at least to y/n, he doesn’t care too much about anyone else lmao) He just gets caught up in the moment and gets excited and is so good at justifying his actions in his head that he starts to believe it. His thoughts are wired that way. In my opinion, the only thing that ever gets him to be like 'oh, bad, let's stop' is the external reactions of those he actually cares about. Meaning Billy, basically, lol.

I don't want to write them in a way that makes it seem like Billy's in control of all of Stu's actions and kind of babysits him, but I do think that Billy's a bit of a moral compass/guideline for Stu. Like, Stu knows that Billy has similarly messed up interests, so if Billy is like 'dude' Stu knows he fr needs to take a step back, or at least think things through a little more.

Stu also cares about what Y/n thinks, but it's a little different. Stu is selfish, especially when it comes to impulsive moments, and when he's in that mood, he isn't really thinking about the consequences of his actions. Plus, Y/n's a girl, and a slightly sheltered girl too. He justifies--and subconsciously believes--that she wants it/him too and she just doesn't know it. Or she's just too scared to admit it to herself bc of her upbringing and morals (he is dating Tatum, and Y/n loves Tatum)

Now, this in no way justifies his actions or thought process, but Stu's not completely wrong, per say. Y/n is kinda scared of dating let alone having sex, and she wouldn't go for someone dating her friends, and she does...or at least is, starting to like Stu and Billy more than she'd ever let herself even acknowledge in her thoughts. Doesn't make it okay though!!

but if you want to go into hypotheticals the aftermath would have been BRUTAL! Billy is more worried about Y/n finding some way to leave them bc of his mom, so he wants to go about their entire relationship in a more methodical, careful, patient way.

He's willing to put in the hours (we know Billy likes his plans lmao) as just a friend. Sure, a friend that might be around a lot, and is just smidge more touchy than someone like him can get away with, but a friend. He can monitor your reactions and figure out how to set the pace of your friendship-to-relationship pipeline according to you. That way he knows you won't get scared off.

Stu agrees, but sometimes he just can't help himself. Plus, he can get away with more bc everyone knows that Stu is touchy.

I don't think Stu would have done anything assault-y to Y/n that night unless Y/n initiated something (which, considering his warped perception, could have been something small) or he got really triggered and lost control. (tbh, his worst intentions were overly cuddling/lowkey feeling up Y/n...and maybe stealing a pair of her underwear) but still!! too far!

but if something did happen and Y/n was upset the next morning, Stu would for sure be trying to smooth it over. If it didn't work and Y/n started crying?? game over, Stu actually feels remorse for once,, Billy is super mad about the whole situation, everything would be so bad!

Fortunately, though, my fic world is nice :)) there will be character development :) now, it is Billy and Stu, so will the situation ever be 1000 percent free of toxicity? Nooo,, but things can get better, especially when it comes to boundaries and things of that nature. I don't want it to be like a whole 'oh she fixed him' thing, but things do get nicer,, sweeter. But a lot of rough things have to happen first!!

never straight up SA though!! as someone that knows what it's like to have a guy force a kiss and feel them up, i can't even imagine how traumatic a darker turn of events would be.

[bestcurse]

he wonders if that flare between them will ever dim, if it'll ever run out between them. had worried it might've, but a year ago had proven him wrong, showed him that, if anything, it only intensified— that a spark, a connection, like the one they shared was everlasting, eternal. the distance that separated them continued to nourish it, and he can feel it in the way her fingers pinch at his arm, causing him to laugh (a genuine laugh and not one of the strained, feigned ones he's gotten used to hearing, these days), in the way that her touch lingers longer than it might've, had he been anyone else. it's as if her fingertips are burned into his flesh, remnants of the touch left behind, that even when she does pull away, his own hand is replacing the spot where hers once was, rubbing against the mark he's certain she's left against him. this wasn't a new feeling to miller— in fact, it always raised to the surface whenever she was near; a physical mark to symbolise the impact she had on his psyche, his soul. it was how any of this came about, anyway, this book, this life. whether it was a dream or not, she had been the inspiration, the purpose, the reason for it all. having her here, now, during this moment he was always so sure they'd share together, feels full-circle in its own, odd way, despite the way his stomach drops because of it— not only because of how different he wishes it could've been, but because it's brought up a new topic of conversation, one of which included talking about her new partner. can't help it, then, the way his mind travels back to his last night back home, when it had just been the two of them, similar to how it is now. when he'd told her that it was okay to move on, if she found someone else, that he would be okay, if she did. and while that sentiment rings true, wanting nothing more than for her to be happy, it still makes him feel sick to his stomach, those shattered little shards rattling around in his chest. eyes are fixated on the dying amber light, as he puts out his cigarette. regrets it almost immediately, no longer knowing what to do with his hands, now tucked against his chest, as he leans further forward against the railing. he hated that term too, though— exes. even if it was technically what they were, he didn't think it covered just what she was to him. it didn't encapsulate what their bond, that connection, their relationship was. so, his head shakes, when she aims her question at him; a small, sad smile curling at his lips as he spares a quick look in her direction. " no, you're— well, i normally say you're my friend, " which he still considered her as, even after all this time. " but you're, uh... well, you're pretty famous amongst some of the people in there, too— you're also the artist behind the painting in my entryway, " and just by the way his eyes gleam as he says it, for a miniscule second, that smile carved at his lips is content. it doesn't last long, considering how quickly his jaw tenses, fingertips now scratching at the underside. " right, though. yeah. your... friend, " and although it's inadvertent, that strain is still present in his voice, tautness evident, as he remembers that night; how the other had been hitting on her, all night long— how he'd barely even cared because it was still him that she was going home with, his fingers that would help her get out of her dress, his mouth that would map out her body. " think i remember him being pretty persistent back then, too— didn't know that was your type. " weight shifts, then, from one leg to the other, as her question turns to him. " who, eden? " admittedly the last person on his mind right now, his palm rubs at his eyes. " oh, uh... work, i guess. she actually made a lot of this happen, knew all these people to introduce me to and... " his head shakes. no matter what she did for him, it wasn't anywhere near what devon had done. " is this really what you want to talk about, dev? my girlfriend? "

it’s when his shoulder nudges against hers that she feels it; that indelible spark, the piece of her she’s been missing since the last time they were in the same place, at the same time. and maybe it’s just the nicotine flooding her system, but she swears she feels more alive now, more alert than she has in a long time, just with a gentle, miniscule touch. a world’s difference to the amount of touching that occurred last time they were alone like this, but still just as impactful to her, after so long without. “ hm, i don’t know— think i need to do a little more investigating, ” and she wants to reach out, thread her fingers through his, or better yet, run her thumb along the length of his bottom lip like she used to, but she knows that’s not an option, now, that she couldn’t do any of that, any longer. instead, fingertips reach out to lightly pinch at his arm, chuckling softly under her breath before pulling away, allowing herself to linger for just a few seconds longer than necessary. “ alright, fine, you feel real enough. and now you know it’s not all just a dream, ” only because that’s what she would be thinking if she were him, right now. that all her success was just a dream, that him, standing in front of her right now couldn’t be real, but it was. truthfully, sometimes she wishes all of this was a dream, that the last two years of her life were merely a mirage, that she would wake at any moment and they would be wrapped up together in the same bed they shared for years, happy and warm, as if no pain or distance ever touched them. but it did, though, and she can feel the remnants of it, a chill sweeping in between them at the mention of another, watching how he reacts, how his head bows away from her, unable to gauge his full reaction because of it. fuck, why did she even mention him ? wasn’t aiming to inflict any pain, yet she’s realizing now that this was probably the worst time to deliver such news. her own head falls, too, staring down at the passing cars and people walking along the sidewalk as a distraction, teeth tugging at her lower lip, suddenly regretful and anxious as she waits for his response. “ he does, actually, ” it’s spoken coolly, sensing the bitter undertone that stains his words. doesn’t mention the argument that ensued once she told him where she was going, who the celebration was for, however, as she knows that wasn’t beneficial to anyone to share, right now. “ i don’t really like thinking of you like that. my ex-boyfriend. it sounds so… i don’t know, just weird, ” a pause, to inhale her cigarette a little deeper this time, ignoring the way her lungs burn— it’s been a while since she’s done this. “ is that how you describe me to other people ? as your ex-girlfriend ? ” the words sound foreign in her mouth, difficult to hide just how she winces at it in relation to herself. how much it would hurt, if that’s all he thought of her and their relationship, even if that is technically what they were— exes. didn’t feel right, though, to call him such, when their souls were intertwined for so long. souls that were still intertwined, she thinks, and it would be, for the rest of her life. “ we, uh… well, you remember that night we were out and that guy kept hitting on me ? cara’s cousin ? ” a pause, to swallow harshly. “ that’s him. guess you could say he’s pretty persistent. ” and she tries to let out a chuckle, but it falls flat, her entire body crawling with discomfort at this topic of conversation. and yet she continues, keen for punishment. “ so how did you meet her ? ”

[wovenstarlight]

Hi! I just finished your role swap AU, where Yoohyun is the F-rank and Yoojin is the S-rank.

It was amazing, my gosh, the little 8th chapter that explained everything in more detail was so nice. It’s such an interesting idea, and I think you executed it really well! There were funny moments, silly moments, and gut punching moments all wrapped up in one! In particular I love how everyone is able to use sign language, and how it just shows their love for each other.

Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her! Also the way that the guild members didn’t know her, and Soyoung also didn’t know her was so sad! Because most of the others don’t really form close friendships outside of the group, it’s always fun to remember just how outgoing Yerim is and how many friends she makes!

Also, not to be ship-y on your interesting and well thought out AU, but I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?

Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem? And I love how you brought back his younger brother, he was such an interesting side note in canon so I’m glad he has a name now! and is alive!

WAHAAA THANK YOU VERY MUCH.... im glad you liked it!! also lol your mention of the sign language thing reminded me of a fun fact i didn't get to work into the fics, which is that while the F-ranks and Dodam high-rankers picked up some sign through exposure by being around the (fluent) Han brothers, they routinely get annoyed with Yoohyun. that's because he's developed a habit of turning away or signing answers where they can't see him--it's because he's used to Yoojin being able to "see" his movements through skin no matter what angle he's facing. lmao.

i did answer the rest of your questions but <- guy who has a terminal need to ramble on and on. answers are under the cut

ALSO i'm adding all the stuff i've talked about here, and any other rankswap stuff i talk about in the future, to the last AO3 chapter as well! they'll all go under the "answered questions/additional thoughts (WORK IN PROGRESS)" heading :3 you can check back to that for any further info!

ok time to get to the rest of it!!

Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her!

YEAH Yerim was really sad about redoing school... she had a hard time of it for a while but having her family back was definitely worth the trouble. the F-ranks actually discussed how far back to go for a while there, though we didn't see it. they all knew they had to go back far enough to undo Yoojin's death, but that wasn't so far, a day at most so they could call off the raid--but hey, while we're at it, why not reverse far enough back to resurrect Yerim's parents? that's a lot further back, but we can use that extra time to help with other stuff... and let's save Chief Song's brother and MHA's teammates, too! and so it turned into a much bigger regression than first anticipated, and the kids were so caught up in all the things they'd get back that they didn't realize the other stuff that came along with it :P

I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?

oh feel free to be shippy! i will put as a disclaimer that even my canon thoughts on SHJ have him being demisexual or generally aro/acespec, so i'm still somewhat handwavey on whether he and HYJ have a romantic thing going or if it's more of a QPP situation in any given storyline.

as for in this AU, specifically... well, pre-regression, SHJ was just another one of the hunters accompanying Yoohyun from HYJ's POV. not much more interest in him than that, though he did enjoy their back-and-forths, as did SHJ. (i thought i had a line in their post-reg reunion where Yerim thought it must be killing SHJ not to pick up on their usual banter, but I must have deleted it in the final draft...) SHJ, meanwhile, definitely had some sort of crush on him in that platonic/romantic gray area, but he sort of... never followed up on that? he was happy with their dynamic as is.

post-regression, their dynamic gets a little more intense. MHA has her raid team and STW has his security work at Dodam. that makes SHJ the adult with the most free time on his hands, and he also has one of the best memories for stuff pre-reg--as such, SHJ spends a lot of time with HYJ working out the pre-reg timeline and identifying useful information. they definitely get a lot friendlier over that time, and hey, even if i ditched the idea of making it a formal skill, maybe SHJ figures out how to act as a mana battery anyway, making him a significant asset for HYJ in battle and endearing him further to HYJ.

Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem?

ahahah... well, STW is definitely not repressed for the same reasons as in canon? but he is still. going through it. all that canon self-loathing didn't come from nowhere, and if i had to guess then the Monster aspect was added after the Awakenings, but the root of it was there even before that. so he doesn't think of himself as a monster and inhuman, no, but he's definitely very hard on himself. that flawless track record throughout school and university and work would have taken a lot of effort, which means he must hold himself to exacting standards of perfection, and then when his parents and his brother died, he took that really badly. pre-regression, he was stern and serious and quiet just as he is in canon, particularly touchy about the subject of risk-taking and particularly so when it regarded dungeons/monsters. but he softened and opened up with time as he grew closer to the other F-ranks, and he'll do so in earnest now that he has his family back :D

and yes!! little brother is back with a vengeance!! i like to think of Song Cheolmin as an upbeat balancing force to STW's more serious attitude. he's just about the only person who can coax STW into really breaking free of that seriousness, and has gotten him to aid and abet more than one childhood prank or chocolate thievery. if we get a canon name for him and i have to change all my fics/headcanons AGAIN i will be so so angry <3 love and light

[michaelmilligan]

A chapter of accidents

Day 5 of Midamoulweek! @midamoulweek

Prompt: Date night

“GIVE ME THAT!”

“NO!”

Adam sighed deeply as he sank further into the couch, trying to ignore Michael and Ghoul. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work.

“YOU STUPID ABOMINATION, GIVE ME THE REMOTE!”

“COME GET IT, JEDI BOY!”

He didn't think it was fun for them, really, as much as it was almost an inevitability. Michael and Ghoul were in the same room together. They argued, threatening each other bodily harm in increasingly graphic detail. At some point, they got tired of it, or Adam managed to get them into different rooms, respectively into bed.

Rinse and repeat.

“FOR THE LAST TIME, MY POWERS AREN'T THE SAME AS THE FORCE AND I'M NOT-”

Not this time.

“Enough,” Adam said. Not yelled. Adam didn't yell. But if he slightly raised his voice to even be heard over the other two's shouting, well, he could hardly be blamed.

Immediately, Michael's projection turned to him, while Ghoul glared at Michael for a moment longer. Adam was pretty sure that he hadn't let any emotions slip to Michael through their bond – difficult when you were sharing the same body, but there were ways, and Adam had a lot of practice.

“I am sick,” Adam started, talking very calmly, “of your bullshit. And no, Michael I don't just mean Ghoul.”

Michael, who had opened his mouth, closed it again, disgruntled.

“Anyway, you two have fun, I'm taking a break.” With satisfaction, Adam noticed Michael and Ghoul throwing each other confused looks. “Have a good one.”

Then Adam checked out of his body's driver's seat.

There was a long silence after Adam's body slumped further into the couch, looking boneless. Almost like he was dead.

That couldn't be, though. Michael would have noticed if Adam was dead, or dying, and would have saved him. Right?

“What happened?” Ghoul eventually asked into the quiet.

“Adam ceded control of the ves- body,” Michael said, correcting himself at the last minute. Honestly, Ghoul didn't care about his choice of words, and he didn't think Adam cared much either. He'd used 'vessel' for his own body plenty of times at this point.

In any other situation, Ghoul would have made fun of Michael for using 'cede', though. But not today. “Ceded control to who?”

“Whom,” Michael said, because he was a little shit. More silence, then: “Oh, right.”

His projection vanished in the same moment that Adam (well, Michael) opened his eyes, the blue glow in them looking literally otherworldly.

Ghoul shivered. Sometimes – not often, mind you, but sometimes – it was easy to forget that this guy was an archangel, one of the first and most powerful guys to ever exist. And while Ghoul usually used that fact to make fun of him, it was also kind of frightening. And, well, more than a little hot.

“So where did he go?” Ghoul asked as Michael sat up on the couch.

Michael pursed his lips. “Into his own mind.”

“... Right....” Ghoul had no idea how any of that stuff worked. Did this mean Adam was asleep? Daydreaming? “Can you pull him back out?”

A dark expression passed over Michael's face. “No.”

“Okay.”

Michael huffed. “I mean, of course I could. But he doesn't want that. He put up a wall.”

“A wall?” Ghoul asked, amused. “And here I thought he was a Democrat.”

Michael glared at him. “It's a mental wall.”

“You sure it's not a fence?”

Without moving his body, Michael threw a couch cushion at him, his eyes glowing blue in an extremely smug way. Ghoul threw it right back, of course – but missed by a mile.

Damn. Well, they'd never been very good at sports. Not much practice in terms of ball sports to be had when you grow up in a graveyard. And their dad had usually forbidden them from playing with the skulls.

There was another silence that lasted for several minutes. The TV was still playing the show Ghoul had chosen, a silly program about things that could be cake. The contestants had to guess which of the things were cake and which were actually the real thing. Normally, human food was totally uninteresting to Ghoul, but sometimes it was fun watching the humans react to stuff.

And the idea of food looking like something else wasn't all that alien to Ghoul. Technically, every person looked like food to him. And sometimes, food looked like (and was) his boyfriend.

Ghoul wasn't even sure what Michael's earlier objections to the show were (maybe only that Ghoul had chosen it), but they seemed to be forgotten now, as Michael stared unseeing at the TV screen.

“So what now?” Ghoul finally asked, breaking the silence. “Is date night still on?”

Sure, date night wasn't all that special. They couldn't exactly go out like humans did, not when they all looked the same and wouldn't be able to cuddle and kiss without getting weird looks. Going out to eat also wasn't an option, since Michael didn't eat at all and Ghoul only ate raw meat. (And usually human meat, which shockingly, human-run restaurant tended not to have on the menu.)

So, watching movies and shows it was. The only difference to normal evenings was that Michael and Ghoul both stayed in the same room without complaining.

Well, at least without complaining much.

“Adam isn't here,” Michael said simply, still watching the screen with a completely blank expression.

“So?”

That made Michael look at him, frowning. “It can't be date night without Adam. We're both dating him.” He huffed, looking away again. “Of course that's a very understated word for the kind of bond I have with Adam, and probably an overstatement for you two, but you know he likes the word.”

Ghoul rolled his eyes. “Sure, chicken wings. You two are soooo in love and I'm just the side treat he snacks on sometimes.” Huffing, he sat down in a nearby armchair, and hugged his knees to his chest.

Michael was silent for several seconds. “Well,” he then said.

“Oh, fuck you.” Ghoul wanted Adam to come back. Or to get the fluffy plushy from the foot of the bed to cuddle, but he wouldn't give Michael the satisfaction.

“I suppose he does care for you,” Michael eventually said, not looking very happy. “Which I don't understand, because you killed him.”

“Yeah, and you landed him in hell.”

“Not on purpose!”

“Yeah, well.” Ghoul had eaten Adam on purpose. But it hadn't been personal. “I didn't even really know him back them.”

“And that makes it better?”

“Oh, like you haven't killed random people before!”

Michael fell quiet again.

Confidence boosted by the abnormally unaggressive behaviour, Ghoul added: “I bet you don't even feel bad about it.”

Michael did that thing where he almost smiled, not in the way where people pull their mouths up but it doesn't reach their eyes, but the other way. Michael's smiles showed mostly in his eyes (which was maybe understandable because apparently his true form had a bazillion of them). His mouth barely moved.

Damn, he really had no business looking so hot when he did that.

“Why would I feel bad about it?” Michael asked, almost challengingly.

Ghoul shrugged. “Adam gets sad when people die, right?”

Michael weighed his head. “It depends.”

“He specifically told me not to eat anyone alive because it would make him very upset!”

“Yeah, because he wants to live among the humans, and they usually get a little huffy when you kill one of them.” Michael shrugged. “I don't think he cares much about individual humans at this point. They'll go to Heaven, anyway. Or even if they go to Hell, nowadays that's not exactly a 'torture for eternity' sentence anymore.”

“Yeah. When even monsters get second chances, right.” Ghoul shifted so their feet hung off the couch. “Isn't it a bit boring? I mean, there used to be consequences. Now it's just a rainbow and unicorns afterlife.”

“Would you want to go back to Purgatory? The way it was before?” Again with that almost-smile, except there was a hint of curiosity in it. A modicum of interest. The kind of attention Ghoul usually only got from him by shouting or biting someone.

So Ghoul thought about it. Purgatory had been easy, not nearly as complicated as living in this mess of a world. In Purgatory, it was every monster for themselves. You either killed (well, hurt, it wasn't like anyone could die there) or were killed. Eat or be eaten. Which was gruesome, of course, and incredibly tiring. Always being on the lookout for predators and prey, always alert, ready to fight...

“Purgatory was... something else. But I wouldn't go there anymore anyway, right?”

Michael nodded. They'd pretty much abolished Purgatory, save for the rehabilitation centre, where the people that were still there were processed to hopefully gain entry into Heaven. They were doing the same in Hell, Ghoul had heard. Of course in both places there were some people who were too far gone to pass on, or at least no one had managed to reform them since the whole afterlife remodelling.

But that had been expected, at least by Michael. He hadn't been very enthusiastic about the ideas of the new God, but had played along. Not, as he said, for God's sake, but to make sure that there was some order kept in the universe.

Ghoul suspected he was really helping for the sake of his siblings, or at least for his relationship with them. He seemed to have fallen out with that Gabriel guy a long time ago, and things with his other sibling Raphael were kind of frosty too. So he helped, every now and then, even if he wasn't particularly invested in it all.

“Are you still going to the Empty when – if – you die?” Ghoul asked tentatively, looking up at the ceiling. The thought of Michael dying was... uncomfortable, somehow.

“Probably,” Michael said, which meant he had no idea.

Didn't ask the new God about it then. Well. “You could just... not die, I guess. Pretty sure Adam would prefer for you not to die. You know. Again.”

Michael huffed, and threw him another half-amused, half-interested look.

Adam didn't know how long it had been, exactly, since he'd retreated into his own mind and had basically posted a mental 'do not disturb' sign. But it must have been a few hours, at least, so he should probably check in on Michael and Ghoul.

Hopefully, they hadn't killed each other yet.

As he surged back to the surface, he steeled himself for what he would find, fully prepared to fall right back into the same argument Ghoul and Michael had been having before. Except the closer he got to consciousness, the more confused he became. Michael was calm. Extremely calm. Like-

Michael? Adam asked as he settled in just beneath the threshold of taking over their body. What happened?

Hello Adam. What do you mean?

Michael was still so freaking calm. What was going on? And why did it feel like there was a weight on their chest?

Since I, uh, left. What happened since then?

Not much.

It felt like Michael was running the fingers of one hand through someone's hair. But not their own – there wasn't a corresponding feeling on their head.

Michael, what are we doing? In this position, Adam only felt and saw what Michael was letting him feel and see. And right now, all their eyes were apparently fixed on was the ceiling, still visible in more detail than human eyes could have seen, even though it was dark in the room.

Michael gave a mental shrug. Lying in bed.

Is that Ghoul on our chest?

A hint of embarrassment. They're asleep.

Are you two cuddling?? In bed?? Oh my God, you're both naked, too!

A few seconds of silence, filled with apprehension. I didn't think you'd mind.

Wha- no, I don't mind. Michael, I'm just confused. When I left, you two were about to bash each other's head in. What happened?

We... Michael faltered, in the way that only emotional insecurity could make him falter. I don't want to say that we came to an agreement, but...

Oh my GOD!

Jack has nothing to do with this.

Michael, this is great! So you two finally worked past your issues with each other! This is the first step to a healthy and loving relationshi-

Oh no, we're not in a relationship, Michael said, still calm, but determined.

… What?

See, the agreement we came to is that we're... boyfriends-in-law, as Ghoul called it, and that means we won't get rid of each other any time soon, so we might as well have sex occasionally. But-

Woah, okay, wait up. Adam would have pinched the bridge of his nose if he'd been in control of the body. So you're gonna keep having sex, but you don't like each other?

Essentially.

Dude. Adam sighed mentally and Michael squirmed a little.

Ghoul, still nestled on their chest, grumbled and hugged them tighter. “Stop wigglin',” he slurred, before his breathing evened out again.

Michael stilled. I suppose we tolerate each other now, he said eventually.

Michael, you're literally cuddling him. After you two had sex.

The cuddling was an accident.

Adam threw him the vibe of an unimpressed look. You're still cuddling him.

… It's still an accident.

Scoffing, Adam decided this really wasn't worth his time. If Ghoul and Michael wanted to keep pretending like they didn't care for each other, fine.

Adam knew better, anyway.

Well, I'm low-key jealous, he said, making sure to radiate calmness so that Michael wouldn't do something impulsive like throw Ghoul through the room. Grace hug?

Instead of a verbal answer, Michael moved so a good part of his grace was wrapped around Adam's soul. They were always close, but this was even more intimate, even more snug than usual.

After a few minutes of just basking in each other's presence and the feeling of Ghoul's skin against theirs, Adam said: So... boyfriends-in-law, huh.

That was just what Ghoul came up with. Probably on the spot. I think technically the term is metamour.

Huh. Seemed like Michael had done some research. So do people usually fuck their metamours?

Michael heaved a long-suffering sigh. It doesn't have to mean anything.

Ghoul shifted to press their face into Michael's neck.

Sure, babe, Adam said, tampering down his own amusement. If you say so.

[wigglebox]

First of all, I just wanted to thank you. Your blog has been such a safe space for me these past few days.

I honestly never thought something like this would happen but now that the dust has settled a bit and all the jokes have died down I'm feeling a little bad for Misha, because I know that there's a real possibility that he is bi. I mean people keep saying things like why would he say he's bi if he isn't?' Or why did the people at stands who know him personally accepted the whole coming out so easily? And the only thing that would make sense here is that he decided to take back his statement after he saw how big it got, and I don't blame him for being blindsided by this to be honest, spn barely ever makes the news. Why would those vultures hop on this of all things? I do feel like a lot of other people feel the same, I see them implying it in their tags but not going further, and I get it. People want to respect his words, but someone going back into the closet after not receiving the reaction they'd been expecting isn’t such a wild theory, hell, I bet a bunch of us had to go back to the closet as well when we felt unsafe.

And if by some miracle he is straight, I really don't get some people's reactions who feel like he's betrayed them or something. Did you only like this person because you thought he was queer? That's like supporting someone else only because they're a woman like you for example. It makes no sense. The people calling him homophobic are even more baffling. The worst thing he's done is, make gay jokes about himself? How does that hurt anyone? Again unless you've decided to support this person only because you thought he was queer, which feels very disingenuous. It's definitely not on the same level, as say, J*red making degrading gay jokes about other people. And not to mention the fact that Misha's always been like this? So no, he didn't queerbait you either. You just didn't put a limit to your parasocializing habits.

It's just been a tough couple of days for me, and not even entirely because of Misha to be honest, but because of how my fellow members of the community showed that you have to act a certain way to feel like you belong. I saw someone basically say that Misha is a coward for not coming out completely if he actually is bi, and as a closeted bisexual living in an unsafe and homophobic environment, that was really disheartening to read, and yes Hollywood is an unsafe environment, especially for a bisexual man.

I honestly think I'm going to take a break from this fandom, so many of my favorite people here have been disappointing me so much lately. I wanted to thank you again for your wonderful blog and hope you have a very nice day.💗

i'm so sorry you feel like you have to leave for a little bit but we'll be here when you get back! <3

i won't touch on everything else you said for the most part bc same.

and it's hard, because you feel like in your heart still, despite him saying both queer things and straight comments over the years, you feel like he's still like... he still obviously belongs. also I mean, poly people are also under the queer umbrella, soooooooo....? we just gonna ignore that?

also straight isn't rigid either. straight is one of those identities people can use for a number of things.

privately, we don't know what's going on with him, so it's hard to make the argument 'this is someone who was forced back in the closet' but what I am standing firm on is the fact that he was forced to label himself at all. people will come back at me with the 'oh but he said it during the dinner' but even then, not really. a 'coming out' usually doesn't happen when you randomly answer a fan's interjection about raising a hand or something. he brought bisexuality up in the poll to the audience and the bisexuality and poets thing but really, it's no more damning than other things he's said.

he's said things that very much allude to 'i'm not a 0 on the kinsey scale' and he's said things that make you go oh okay he said he's straight.

but how straight lol. there are men out there who do call themselves straight but will still have had some kind of intimate interactions with a man, and not just platonically or whatever.

this is me speculating on his private situation which I don't really want to do but the point being is — the man was seeing his name, his ex-wife's name, and his children's names in these articles that are googlable, and reputable [somehow] and once it hit people magazine I think he truly may have started to panic.

and he made his labeling public, on the record, because he had no other choice.

so if he is actually privately out and about doing his thing, and isn't completely rigidly straight as a board — it's NOT cowardly to feel like you can't be yourself publically to the world, especially when other people are involved.

that's another thing i can't understand when people say he was a coward for 'not coming out if he actually as bi' because, no? the fandom on fandom discomfort that's growing every day is very distressing for many queer fans who don't know where they fall, and/or don't know how to address it publically to friends and family, or can't because of safety issues.

other people were getting involved with this. once his ex wife and kids are getting named, that's a whole other story. himself is one thing, but tabloid journalists are ruthless.

people think it's easy for Actormen to come out or allude to queerness and indeed maybe for SOME it is, but it's not the same for everyone. his own personal history wasn't on the line with these press articles, all his loved ones' were too.

Btw if you think it's easy for Actormen, please read this article by Colton Haynes. Trigger warnings for assault and homophobia but it's still a sad reality.

so i don't care if he's straight straight or queer but doesn't know how to define himself and goes with straight for protection or necessity, or if whatever. idk. i don't care.

he had to say it. there was no other choice for him. and you can never compare our situations with his 100% because i know i sure don't have to be worried that the new york post is going to write an article about me or people magazine or out magazine, bringing my family who likes to remain private out into the spotlight with me.

and it is what it is.

he's still the same person. he's never invalidated us, and any time he missteps he apologizes sincerely. and he listens, and he tries to learn. he also has foot in mouth disease which, I really don't feel like ANYONE in this fandom has ANY right to criticize him for because lordy. some of y'all are pretty queerphobic, biphobic — said some really awful things — except y'all don't have to worry about dragging your loved ones into a media and fandom melee and all your private details and relationships are about to become public.

*also when i'm saying 'you' i mean the royal You xD not you-you, nonny I promise <3