#I COULD PLAY TIC TAC TOE ON THAT SHIT

[penguinzzz]

HUMAN BROPPY?!?!?

I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW CURLY HAIR IM SO SORRY.

Here's without that weird lighting

Also you can't tell me you don't picture branch having a long ass messy hair. This man has been isolated for 20 years. Ofcourse he'd have a long messy hair.

Also damn I think I've drawn poppy's head a little massive..

[hellsslibrary]

sub...Michael Kaiser...with male reader...please...I'm begging...

Just saw the latest chapter and him saying "please" made me simultaneously combust.

What if he says that word but on a completely different context, iykwim 👀👀👀👀

"In an ideal relationship, pure love and dirty sex complement each other, not exclude each other."

#a.n. : You can't imagine how much fun it was to write this, different sides of the dominant were fighting inside me, it was wild.

MASTERLIST is here.

!!Warnings: top!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom!Michael, brat taming, humiliation, light strangulation, dry orgasm, you dig Kaiser to the point of half death, reader breaks the bed and unironically fights Alexis for a place in the hotel with Michael by playing tic-tac-toe (mention, I thought it was funny), Kaiser is literally folded in half, one bite to his ankle and a slight mention of blood, three phrases in German (my half-German roots take over), riding.

It was obviously not a revelation to Kaiser why this had started. He had started to understand it the moment you almost fought Ness to share a hotel room with him. After all, you, as adults and completely mentally ill people, played tic-tac-toe and you beat Alexis. After all, he could survive a couple of nights not in a room with Michael, but you? Oh no, you had too big of a plan for him.

He had figured it out himself, as soon as he saw that you were actually focused on winning this stupid game and not playing for fun... But I guess he didn't understand what exactly was waiting for him. Although that's the best part.

"G-gott! Y/n, slow d-down! This is, oh shit, this is too mu-much!" came out unintelligibly from his lips, while he grabbed the sheets beneath him with all his might, his graceful fingers almost tearing apart the poor fabric that was holding on with all its might.

"Are you sure?" you clarify, knowing he won’t answer because he doesn’t want to, but he also doesn’t want to seem too needy.

And so he does. He stays silent, burying his face in the pillows and pushing his ass back a little more to somehow meet your ruthless thrusts that didn’t allow him to breathe properly.

You squeeze his hips, pressing lightly on his stomach under your fingers, causing him to whine loudly, even muffled by the cotton pillowcases. His toned ass jiggles slightly with each thrust, making you want to bite one of his cheeks right now, but oh, what a shame the human body can’t bend like that, huh?

Kaiser felt too good as you admired his ass and his bulging back without any other thought. He felt like his whole being was melting, turning into nothing more than obedient plasticine in your hands, which you could bend as you wish.

He bites his lip to hold back another moan. It seems like he can hear his heartbeat in every part of his body, no matter how unimportant or far from his head. It seems like his blood is so hot that he is about to melt... Not that it is not true, considering how sweaty you both have been for the last few dozen minutes.

"Aren't you going to answer me, handsome? Or do you want me to stop and leave you empty and thirsty, hm?" your whisper sends involuntary goosebumps down his body when he realizes that your chest is rubbing against his back and he makes some kind of sound similar to hiccups, turning his head to the side.

"Shut up."

The phrase made your hips freeze almost immediately, your eyebrow involuntarily crawling up at the fact that he had the strength to speak clearly, and also to act like a complete brat, when you were obviously lifting him to Heaven and back with your actions.

"Move, idiot. Why the hell did you stop?"

Your eye twitched and you took a deep breath, looking down at his frowning, flushed face. There were traces of moisture all over his face from tears and sweat mixed together, his lips were slightly swollen from holding back moans, but most importantly, his eyes. The shine in them. He knew what he was doing, or rather, what he was saying.

Before he could come to his senses, your lips spread into an almost animalistic smile and your cock completely slipped out of him. Kaiser was about to complain, but you abruptly flip him over onto his back, and then immediately, without warning, you penetrate inside.

His next moan was probably heard by everyone in the hotel, or at least on your floor. And all the following ones, too. He was no longer holding back, moaning at the top of his lungs. His hands were looking for something to grab onto and wanted to close around your shoulders, but you would not allow him such luxury, so you squeezed his palms above his head.

"What a pity. If you want to act like a little slut, then I will have to treat you like one," you lean right over his face, sliding out so that only your tip remains inside him, and then penetrate in the roughest way you can.

"Ohhh, ple-please... Ple-please, fuck, s-sir, I b-beg yo-you... P-please!"

He himself did not understand what he was begging for, while you just let out a chuckle from this. Michael could barely form any coherent words, he was just mumbling obvious nonsense now.

Your fingers squeezed the blond's leg at his knee, throwing one of his legs over your shoulder, practically folding him in half. He muttered something unintelligible, tears starting to flow from his closed eyes while his hands clenched into fists helplessly in your grip.

"What? You decided to fix yourself in a couple of seconds, handsome? That's not like you. My dick makes you drunk?" he would never admit that it did, but his head shook in agreement too convulsively.

You bite his ankle, digging into the white skin, causing him to cry out in pain, but he doesn't complain. He just stares excitedly at the small trickle of blood rolling down his leg. Your free hand, not holding his hand, falls on his neck.

And God, something clicks inside him. He cums, but nothing comes out, in that same second, although your hand did not have time to settle down and squeeze properly. You only look at the pathetic state of the German while he experiences a dry orgasm and how his cock twitches.

"What a pity... Although you are a smart boy. Even without realizing anything, you do not dare to cum for real without my permission..." Michael only moans in response, not being able to say anything anymore, especially now that you are blocking part of his air.

"Please, Y-y/n," he manages to mumble somehow, looking at you with empty, smoky eyes, hazed with a haze of lust, and you feel how he squeezes around your cock. Probably on purpose, but now you do not care.

"Please what, baby? You have to speak clearly," he frowns, looking away and staring at some tasteless painting on the wall, trying to pull some kind of speech out of his brain.

"Let me cum... Bitte, mein schatz," Kaiser whines, managing to somehow rise up, although it is clearly uncomfortable and even painful for him, given the position he is in, and kissing the corner of your lips, missing the main target. "Bitte lass mich abspritzen, lass mich auf deinen Schwanz abspritzen..."

You feel something break inside you. He looked beautiful and didn't even seem embarrassed as usual by his obvious vulnerability and the state of some kind of toy in your hands. In the end, he even found the strength to kiss you and didn't even wince at the fact that he literally bent in half for a couple of seconds. Well, how can you not spoil such a boy, right?

His head falls back, he sighs raggedly when you begin to pound him with the maximum speed and roughness you can muster right now. The bed beneath you creaks pitifully, as does Kaiser himself, not expecting such pressure.

"Dann komm, Hübscher," your words send him over the edge immediately, squeezing your cock as if in a vice.

He paints your and his stomach white, cumming surprisingly much. And he doesn't react at all when you continue your thrusts with a same force, only small sighs escaping from his lips.

But then he screams and something cracks under you. You manage to catch him and throw his leg aside carefully but quickly, and press him to your chest.

"You... Managed to break the bed? Wow, new even for you," Michael mutters, watching the mattress and sheets sag in the hole in the bed, chuckling hoarsely and weakly hugging your shoulders now that he has this opportunity.

"I'll ask to change the room and pay for the bed... I don't even want to imagine the face of the girl at the reception, but..." You look up at the blond, who is now sitting on your lap and thoughtfully narrow your gaze.

"Ride you? Good," he understands what is needed, feeling that you have not yet finished and managed to twitch inside him even at such a moment. "You can't be trusted with the pace anymore, you're too wild... Next time we're in hotels, I'll ride you."

"Fair and sweet, I'm more than willing," he starts moving his hips, moaning with every movement, still sensitive from his orgasm, trying not to go too fast so you both don't fall off the bed... Until the broken part of the bed falls to the floor, causing a huge noise, but hey, you're facing the ace of German youth football, who cares? Especially one so rarely vulnerable and caring like this.

[lowkeyrobin]

hii! :D what about a tmr fic with frypan? like a nice fluffy platonic one where reader and him are just besties. could be like a headcanon or a fic idk my boy frypan does not get enough love anything would be fine

oh my god yes of course!! ; and you're so right he does NOT get enough love within this fandom & I rlly wish we saw more of him in death cure :( that was his best era and I'll stand by that ; but yes of course, thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!!!

FRYPAN ; besties core

summary ; what it's like being best friends w fry

warnings ; language, most of this being death cure stuff cause idk

word count ; 417

masterlist

yall r tied to the HIP

you're literally that duo

forget newt and thomas or brenda and jorge, you and fry are the moment

you're literally the only person to call him siggy (his actual wckd name) and that's a rare occurrence

you have a handshake too

it's corny but it's cute

he shows you food recipes a lot

he also taught you how to drive cause he was a natural at it

you guys cackled for a second because of irony + adrenaline after he flipped it on the way to the last city

newt was stumbling everywhere and thomas was worried you all died for a sec 💀 and you're both hysterical before you begin to dig around the turned over vehicle looking for the rifle that fry brought

you two are left in the background while the others do their main character shit

like playing checkers, tic tac toe, and rock paper scissors while waiting for brenda to steal the bus and rescue the other kids wckd had in their possession

you were on the bridge while fry was working the control panel

you were the one kind of directing him for 100% accuracy + the first to get down to brenda and the kids to lead them back to lawrence's lair

meanwhile you were joking with each other the whole way there about how he didn't work fast enough and how he hit so many buildings with the bus and how you were shit at communicating

in the safe haven, you spend most of your time together

you fish, he cooks

and a lot of the time you help him cook

you get drunk off of gallys secret recipe from the Glade for the first time in a long time and run around on the beach together

gally joins you for a bit just to look over you so you didn't end up drowning

fry would be fine, but you? eh... maybe

lots of wrestling on the beach and drawing in the sand together

and regaining memories together 💔

you guys always share what you remember right when it happens, whether it be in your sleep or if you zoned out or were hallucinating it

"dude, my real name is pre-wicked/name!"

"honestly, y/n fits you better"

"im not gonna be saying that when you remember yours, siggy"

"man..."

lots of coping in general together, and making new phrases to create like modern genz slang

"that fit ate up, brenda!"

"thank you!"

"bro had that crank rizz 💀"

"y/n, someone just died"

[iheartjameshetfield]

Okay okay I know I would kill for James and the urge to be his girlfriend is killing me but imagine being his girl bsf.

Like from kindergarten you and him where friends and now you two are inseparable. Just for him to be so comfortable around you makes me feel a type of wayyy. And you two tell each other like EVERYTHING.

Because your parents are always out of town, James would always come around to your house and stay for days on days.

(Like when you two are like 15 or something) You somehow manage to get alcohol and cigarettes. So you two would just get drunk to a degree and mess around in your back yard.

Like having that kinda friendship with James to the point where you are like brother and sister is so fucking cute like OH MH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Someone send help this boy is too cute

NO CUZ IVE HAD THE SAME THOUGHT

like as much as i literally wanna marry this beautiful specimen of a man, just imagine being his best friend in the whole world.

you would’ve been there for all his shit and he would be there for all of yours. i feel like james use to be the type of person who didn’t know how to comfort someone that much, like he’d be more awkward ‘how do i stop her from being sad’ he would mean well but he just wouldn’t know what to do

but with you? god you’ve been friends for lord knows how long, he knows that he doesn’t even have to say anything. he knows that you just being in his embrace, hugging you for as long as you need it and him murmuring sweet words to you is enough. he knows that you’ll be ready to talk about it on your own pace. he knows not to try and give you advice. he understands that you just need someone to understand and hear you

during classes, you two wouldn’t even focus. you would just keep talking and talking, shit talking everyone you can, drawing the weirdest shit you can think of in each other’s notebooks or playing games like tic tac toe.

most of the time, one of you, if not the both of you, were asleep. you grab his wrist slowly to be sure not to wake him up and draw on his hand or write meaningless notes or insults on him. or when you’re the one who is asleep, he’d mindlessly play with the ends of your hair. i feel like he would also take notes for you if you fell asleep during smth important. you couldn’t even count the amount of times you both were late to class because both slept throughout the session, james’ back slouched against his chair while you rest your head on his arm.

he would alwayssss make sure to walk you to your class first, not caring how late he would be to his own.

sometimes, when you both were sooo done with school, you’d ditch. you would leave early and go back to your house. you would eat whatever snack you found while he shows you something new he learned on the guitar, or you’d both be in the back yard, listening to whatever was on the radio while you pass a joint back and forth, talking about whatever came to mind since there were no secrets between the two of you

james would teach you how to drive since your parents didn’t have the time. he’d make silly remarks, pretending to clutch onto the seatbelt harder than necessary as he prays to god to forgive him for everything he’s done while you tell him to shut up and not be overdramatic.

during prom, you were sort of down that no one had asked you, although you weren’t surprised since you didn’t really interact with anyone from your grade other than james.

to make you feel better, he would buy you flowers and ask you instead. he’d do the whole matching his tie with your dress and even pick you up from the front door like a gentlemen.

when you guys were in middle school, you started using this camera that you found somewhere in your house. you would take pictures of the weirdest things or take pictures of james during the most unusual timings. he could be opening a can of beer, or picking out a record, or even tuning his guitar and every three seconds, he’d feel you take a picture of him.

it annoyed him a lot at first, which only made you take more pictures of him, but after a while he got used to it. in fact, he enjoyed it and would sometimes use the camera to take pictures of you or the both of you together.

james sees you as his little sister, so he hates it whenever you’d wear something a little showy. whenever you’d go to a gig with him or a club or just anywhere, he always makes sure to stay close to you, chasing off any guy that even thinks about making a move on you. you get annoyed at him most of the time but other times, you were thankful. although you did find it irritating whenever he’d pull your shirt up or your skirt down or even giving you his jacket, telling you to cover up.

this picture of james is so childhood-best-friend trope i cant explain it, but he would totally smile this way with you only or when you tell him to smile big for the camera, he’d give you this goofy grin 😭😭

[hes-back-from-the-dead]

Here are some different drafts and the process of working on my own poster for the SPO poster project! Long post below!

My initial concept was to have the poster be heavily grafitti'd as a sort of fun little gag towards my headcanon of the Snes and Wii iterations of him being different characters and how frequently the fandom bullies his design.

I then got sad cause I realized I'd put a lot of work into making the poster, and Aran himself, look really good and I didn't wanna hide either. So I decided to make it an open invitation for others to fuck around with their own posters!

I ended up being pretty indecisive on what I wanted to do for the graffiti itself- I had far too many ideas.

I obviously got the stache, brows, crossed eyes, and stink lines form the contender intro for Aran but I thought I'd add my own touches like silly shit people did in my server (playing tic tac toe on his massive forehead) and generally what I think Wii Aran would do to mock his counterpart.

The original iteration ended up too mean especially with all the fat comments, so switching them for more varied words ended up looking much better! 'Men gotta be fart, stupid, and hideous' is my favorite line.

To translate some other insults: Jackeen means a city person, usually mocking Dubliners. Dryshite just means boring.

In the final set, Wii Aran also has another piece of graffiti on the wall- it's meant to invoke spray paint but I didn't do too well here. This is far from the first time he's made a mockery of branch B's Aran and it won't be the last.

As for the plain poster- from the original, the biggest changes are the background of the portrait and his blurb. Yes I'm aware he has no ear holes I can't draw them I'm sorry.

I kinda HATE the way the background is tbh- the spo manual already makes everyone ugly as shit- there's no need to make it worse lmao.

I went with bricks spattered with dirt and blood to evoke a feeling of being in a back alley fight. My original attempt was garbage but then I found this simple brick brush that made my entire life easier.

I wanted to give him a black eye and bloody nose too but it ended up being too hard for me to figure out.

Tbh I don't like the original blurb- it feels clunky and empty all at once. I tried to go with a snappier rendition of the same main ideas while adding a bit of flair and appreciation for how he is in SPO.

The hardest bit of the whole process was probably figuring out all the strange quirks of the text. It looks good but damn is it hard to replicate.

My favorite part was playing around with all the layers and ways I could use effects- a filter or two really does a lot to add to the feeling of a poster. And for one last bit of funsies, here's the poster without any effects vs all of them. (I lost the version with highlighting on his face, whoops!)

I'm really happy with this piece and how quickly I finished it! I think it's a really good sign for my progress in digital art! If you've got questions, feel free to ask in the replies!

[streetkid-named-desire]

Vincent Guerra: The Definitive Probably Canon Tattoo Tour

Cyberheart: for how much he loves netrunning, tech, and what a big part it has been in his life. The binary put through a binary to text translator is gibberish and it's also gibberish when trying to translate as a hex code so idk.

Snake: because it looks cool, random numbers and shit to keep in line with the tech theme. He was young and stupid.

The roman numerals are 70.7.2020 and I honestly have no idea what CDPR could mean by that??? So I'm just going to say he's stupid and meant to get a full IP address tattooed but passed out before he could finish reading off the full address. The "Thicker Than Blood" came later when he was sober and it only makes sense in the context of the other tattoos and how much netrunning means to him.

Bea's bite mark :3

The Weevil Council: His netrunner name/online handle is w33v1l

The roman numerals are 2077, for obvious reason. The hardwired is again just random tech theme shit.

The ram skull he got to hide the ritual scars after he figured out the nomad clan he briefly joined was actually a raffen clan

The lyrics to Chippin' In, he got it when he got the 2077

Life motto because he's a proud faggot

Another life philosophy. TK was a fling's initials, he fell in love with a fellow rent boy and got it done in a drug-fueled love-drunk haze

Under the black band is more binary gibberish. The other stuff he accidentally fell asleep on a tin can label while his leg was wet with the green soap stuff after the black band and first gibberish was done and he thought it was funny and told the guy to make up some binary shit.

My fave :3 in my AU he got the Johnny + V tattoo on the back of his thigh and Bea one day held him down, scratched out Johnny's name, and tattooed her own

A blank tic tac toe grid. He shaves his ass when he'd going to a party and expects to get drunk and undressed so everyone can play.

Another personal fave.

Binary that spells out USB-D for USB-Dick

The skull tattoos are also because he thought they looked cool.

[azzydoesstuff]

azzy's guide to lethal company

goober bug

friend shaped

just a lil' guy

collects shiny stuff

don't take its shit

ouppy

stinky

lil' poopster

he don't bite

scary man

take a little peek but dont stare!

he has anxiety so he struggles with prolonged eye contact

if you don't watch your back he'll sneak up on ya and give you a big hug

i'm sure he's a nice guy really

oh fuck the BEES

take their hive for shits and giggles

OH FUCK THEY'RE ZAPPY AND SHIT

have killed more new players than fuck-all

spidore

ew

what the fuck is that

beat the shit out of it

roach

jumpscare warning

MMMNMMMPPHPHH

get the fucking chancla

tge fucking BUPPY

no walkies

always responds to his name

or any name actually

woagh!! you didn't tell me you had a little beast in your home!

a fuckiknhg. eouppy. a ligl frsiggn BEPPY.

the ooze

THE GLOB!!!!!

made of hydrochloric acid

you can bonk him with a shovel but it won't do you any good

sand worm

ripped right outta a sci-fi movie

drop all your shit and fucking MOVE it

pray

looks like a giant condom

baboob cocks

fucking angry pussy

literally fucking gang violence

aye tommy... gimme one-a dose uh... gold bahs, will yah?

land shark

run

i fucking hate you

bobblehead

boioioioioing

wins every staring contest

i'm fast as fuck boi

treeple (tree fucks)

the big man on campus

chews with his mouth open (ewwww!!!!!)

me when i FUCKING GET YOU

run like you fucking mean it, little bitch

it's always slightly faster than you

also i fucking hate these things with a scorching passion

merry christmas!

creaky footsteps

wants to wish you a merry christmas!

walk up to him and he'll spread his jolly cheer

just like santa claus, he's always watching you

so don't be naughty and stay up walking past your bedtime, or you're getting a handful (mouthful) of coal (hot lead)!

"what is th- is that a gun!?"

OW MY EARS

wallop him in a holly jolly scuffle and be rewarded with his merry presents! (it's a gun)

normal human being

hey guys it's me your teammate

let me walk over to you i swear nothing bad will happen

guys these theater masks are the latest style you should try them on

the funny box

living pipe bomb

listen to my tune

GET OUT get the FUCK OUT

big ass forehead

your forehead is LARGE. like, EXTREMELY massive

you could play tic-tac-toe on that shit bro

you made fun of her forehead, now she's surgically removing yours

"huh, i wonder for whom the bell tolls" FOR THEE.

[citizen-zero]

gen Xers and boomers made fun of millennials for wanting participation trophies but like. first of all YOU were the ones giving them to us. second of all. those participation trophies were for you! you as the parents!

you’re the ones who didn’t want to teach your kid the lesson that they wouldn’t always be the best and wouldn’t always win but that their participation was still meaningful. you’re the ones who didn’t want to reward earnest effort if it didn’t result in success. you’re the ones that said shit like “you don’t want to end up as a burger flipper” as if that isn’t a perfectly respectable job that plenty of people would be happy to do forever as long as it doesn’t suck. like, you’re the ones that drilled in the idea that you better be high performance high power and high pay or else you’re next to worthless. you’re the ones that keep harping on the idea that if a degree won’t potentially lead to a lucrative career then it’s worthless.

we all knew those trophies were bullshit. like, yeah, okay, there was the initial burst of dopamine when they handed you something that fooled you for a second into thinking you’d won, but then you’d remember that you hadn’t and all the other losers had gotten one of these cheap plastic things too, so even your consolation prize wasn’t actually all that special and the real winners might be getting actual prizes to boot

and then on top of that, like….it was a useless item. it’s not a toy you can play with or an item with practical use and it’s not something you’d care to display bc it’s a generic piece of junk. At least if you gave me like, an event-branded pencil and notepad as a goodie bag I could use that to doodle or play tic tac toe or MASH or something. Or a cool t-shirt, if the design is good enough then that would actually feel like you’d gotten a real prize (and honestly if the kid’s family is poor enough it’s one more piece of decent clothing they have and didn’t have to pay for).

Like. Idk. I never once asked for or wanted a participation trophy in my life, they always felt like hunks of junk that I was now burdened with. I feel like they were an attempt at boosting our self esteem and making us feel good about trying but it just felt condescending. it’s like the adults thought that we would completely fall apart at the seams. like oh you lost? Here’s a fake trophy that means absolutely nothing and doesn’t actually demonstrate any recognition of your accomplishments. We’re giving it to you because we can’t be bothered to teach you how to recognize your own worth in the face of failure because we think anything less than perfect victory is akin to total failure so here’s a pacifier you big baby. you fucking loser.

The participation trophy is for you, the parent who can’t stand the fact that not everyone is going to agree that your child is the best person ever in the world. it’s for you as the parent who won’t recognize that your kid still did their best and learned something from the experience and maybe even had fun doing it, and those are rewards all on their own.

If you want to boost someone’s self esteem you praise them for what they did well and you let them know that you’re still proud of them. and then you take them to get McDonald’s or ice cream or something. Like goddamn.

[solar-halos]

december prompt #6: snowflakes

mr and mrs everdeen fluff under the cut! mr everdeens name is kolton and mrs everdeen’s name is grace in this btw

Mother Nature was out to get him.

She had to be. The first time Kolton even tried to kiss Grace, it got interrupted by an explosion in the mines and the upheaval of his entire day. And, when she had kissed him, he barely had time to kiss her back before the randomest fuckin’ rainstorm cut it short.

It’s one sided beef. Good thing Kolton is very good at hunting.

Grace never likes watching him hunt—she always wants to heal the animals he pierces with his arrows, which wasn’t very good for (his) business—so he waits until he’s made all his trades before he knocks on her door.

She’s wrapping a scarf around her neck, cheeks already flushed from the cold. He feels better just seeing her—kinda makes him forget that he has nothing but a flimsy jacket to protect him from the biting wind.

Who cares? Grace bites him harder.

If only he wasn’t wearing his hunting clothes. He misses all of her celebratory nibbles on the shoulders, even if he’d never admit it.

Or maybe he would. With Mother Nature conspiring against him, that might be all he’s ever gonna get.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she’s saying, which is something he wholeheartedly agrees with. Mother Nature can’t hate him that much if they get to spend so much uninterrupted time together, so he squeezes her hand and basks in the warmth of her smile.

Snow crunches under his hunting boots. Perfect. It’s not soft enough that it immediately crumbles under their feet, but they can carve out a place to play tic-tac-toe and hopscotch. Drawing was a bit harder, but after Kolton retrieves them a stick to thwack the ground with, they manage to produce something vaguely picture-shaped.

Kolton tilts his head to the side. “A monkey?”

“Squirrel.”

“Close enough,” he decides. “It’s a good drawing either way. It’s the stick that’s fuckin’ defective.”

She laughs as he tosses it to the side, as if it deeply offended him. (And it sorta has. Stupid fuckin’ splinters.) “Wanna play another game of tic-tac-toe?”

Kolton doesn’t usually like the snow—it’s so much harder to sneak up on prey when he’s shivering so hard his bones rattle outside his body—but he can see the appeal when Grace is around. Even if it’s hard as cement under their feet, and especially when Grace lays down a blanket that’s thick enough for them to sit on without getting their pants all wet.

She nestles her icy cold nose into his neck, the gesture oddly soothing against the contrast of her warm breath. He’s still hot from all the running around they did, but it’s not unpleasant. It’s kinda like drawing a bath after being knee-deep in snow, so he presses a kiss to the top of her head and leans into her some more.

“We should go to the lake someday,” he tells her, “when it warms up. I could teach you how to swim, or we could just wade out by the shallows.”

“Yeah,” she replies, even though they both know it’s an empty promise. She hasn’t had much practice with breaking rules—Capitol rules least of all. But the lake’s so pretty during the summertime that it feels more illegal that they can’t go swimming in it. “And maybe I’ll teach you how to use a syringe.”

Kolton’s stomach lurches at the thought. He could handle rabbits and bunnies and arrow-shaped holes. People were a different story.

“Point taken.”

He feels her smile against his shoulder. Now his stomach’s lurching in a completely new way.

He’s not really sure how to handle this whole kissing thing, so he leaves it up to her. Haymitch always swoons over how gentlemanly he is for that (because he’s a fuckin’ asshole), but if Kolton ever thought he needed to worry about anything more than putting food on the table, he would have started practicing this whole kissing thing sooner.

Or maybe he wouldn’t. He can’t imagine kissing anyone else other than Grace.

And, holy shit, does he kiss Grace. Her fingers curl around his shirt and he’s tilting his head to the side and then everything goes all pleasant and fuzzy for a few seconds.

And then, like clockwork, everything goes haywire.

Something cold and jarring lands on his nose, but he ignores it because Grace is parting her lips for him and he can’t believe they’ve made it this far, and it worked for a while. But then his face is practically drenched from the sudden onslaught of snow raining down on them, and so is hers, and they have to pull away before the snowflakes could fuse their faces together or something.

Snowflakes. Add that to his list of enemies.

He lets out a harsh breath through his nose, tilting his face up for proof of Mother Nature’s scorn. A snowflake plops onto his forehead. Grace wipes it away with her index finger, but she’s not any better off, so they get a move on.

They bundle up the blanket and make a break for the Hob. He holds it up over their heads as a shield, both of them giggling the whole way there, because everything is so much funnier when you’re in a relationship with the most dazzling girl in Panem.

He pulls out a stool for her, shaking off his jacket. “After you, m’lady.”

She giggles, dotting a kiss to his cheek. He leans in to kiss her back, ignoring the feeling of his waterlogged boots and snow-coated jacket.

And that’s perfectly okay. Mother Nature can’t follow him to Greasy Sae’s—there’s nothing organic going on behind that kitchen.

[megabuild]

prev baldetho truther . To me. My canon. he either shaved that shit or he has a receding hairline. Maybe. Maybe im completely wrong tho, who knows. He could be a minxy little silverfox with a bit of tantalizing white streak on dat natural meadow. Maybe he cuts his own hair and its short as fuck.

receding hairline is real ill give you that i want him to face reveal and have a forehead big enough that we can play tic tac toe on it

[casspurrjoybell-31]

There's a boy in my Bed - Chapter 7

*Warning Adult Content*

Dante Evans

"Wake up Harvey," I yell, repeating the daily tradition of awakening him from his slumber before school.

The door flings opens as he stumbles past me to the staircase, some form of a 'morninguh' leaving his lips.

"There's eggs on toast on the kitchen island," I call after him as he heads towards the kitchen.

I sit down next to him as he begins stuffing his face, waving his hand in a pseudo-thank you.

"Humuphumphumphump," Harvey blurts out, the inaudible sentence unable to be distinguished through his chomping and chewing, a piece of egg flying out onto the counter, much to my disgust.

I reply with a grossed out face, making him giggle slightly as I nudge my plate away from me in disgust, suddenly losing my appetite.  

"I said, Andre says you're the shit, lol and I didn't know you and Boon got in a fight... and you won... when were you gonna tell me this revelation? My brother's changing right before my eyes, they grow up so fast," he feigns while placing his hand over his heart.

"Oh yeah, we're lab partners... Um, yeah we just ya'know were just talking and then punch punch, pow pow and then he was knocked out on the ground. Yeah."

My brother laughs before putting his fist bump into the air.

'Great, now everyone thinks I'm a bully.' **********

"There he is, the big guy himself," Andre calls out as I walk into Physics, meeting me with a fist bump, is it a compulsory requirement that all guys have to bump fists?

High fives are a lot softer and more pleasant.

"Sup."

I nod and make my way to my seat, seeing another surprise test awaiting me.

I groan and roll my eyes as we both laugh and start fifty minutes of silent hell.

This time instead of playing tic tac toe, we play hangman.

Halfway through... H _ _ N A... the bell rings, bringing our game to an end.

We pack up and hand our test towards the front of the class before exiting out of physics, leaving the gates of science hell.

"Come on let's get some lunch, I'm starving," Andre says. 

Shocked, I follow after him towards to the dining hall. 

I rarely eat in here, not only this year but any year, only migrating here if the clouds decide to cry. 

Andre's saunter divides the hallway, his effortless charm enough to split the crowds of people, me following in his wake, slightly enjoying not being constantly bumped into by everyone.

We enter into the flooded hall, Andre seamlessly navigating through the crowds to the lunch line, handing me a tray as he starts scooping some macaroni and cheese onto his plate.

My food wobbles slightly as I ladle it onto my place, I feel as though it's moving slightly, almost like a slug, yummy.

"Aye," Harvey calls out as me and Andre make our way to the table, pulling us both into a simultaneous bro hug.

Casey sits beside him, flashing me a wink before fist pumping both of us.

"My little brother, actually in the dining hall, actually in school... it's a bloody miracle," he laughs, causing the table to erupt in laughter.

It's true, I nearly got kicked out of school for my thirty% attendance. 

I was almost free until my mother stormed into the office and defended me, demanding I stay for the betterment of my future. 

The good times when she was actually around.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea aye Danté?" Harvey says pulling me out of my day, dreaming and sad reminiscing, bringing my mind back to the table.

"Huh?  What did you say?"

"Casey and Andre were just talking about all of us going bowling tonight... surely... I mean it's not like you have anything to do lol and then like maybe watch a movie or something after it" 

I ponder the offer for a second, scanning my mind for the latest movies that've just been released - hopefully they like horrors.

"Ugh yeah, I guess I could destroy you guys in a game of bowling tonight." 

We all begin laughing again. 

Casey winks at me from across the table, sending my chest into a flutter. 

He bites his lip subtly, casting us into a silent isolation, his green orbs as enticing as ever. 

It's like time freezes whenever our eyes connect, yet he probably has no idea about the effect that he has on me. 

How he sends me into a stuttering mess, that is only able to manage a two-sentence long conversation with him. 

Our gaze is shattered by a squeal across the dining hall.

"Baby," a tanned oranged-hair girl emerges from the crowd, aviator glasses pulled up to reveal strong brown orbs, draining the confidence from the room and absorbing it into her own strong, demeanour. 

The table silences as she hops around, my brother elbowing Casey with a grin on his face. 

That's her. 

That's Annabelle. 

I can tell. 

She gives off an Annabelle vibe. 

She wraps her arms around Casey which pulls his gaze away from me as they connect, both with their eyes and their lips. 

My brother and his friends cheer and woof whistle, while Andre pretends to cover his eyes.

Their lips disconnect and our eyes re-connect,  a different gaze this time, unreadable.

"Um... I just remembered... I can't um... I actually hate bowling... I can't come tonight... and the movie sounds cool but... I'm going home now,  bye..." 

I stand up abruptly, bringing the attention to me as I push my tray away.

"Wow, my little brother going home early whatta surprise... and I can't believe you're bailing on bowling lameeee... and you NEVER pass up a movie." 

My brother laughs. 

Casey goes to say something but nothing leaves his mouth, he closes his lips and re-directs his gaze towards Annabelle. 

I just shrug and plaster a fake grin and a subtle chuckle before walking off.

"Text me when you get home please," Harvey calls after me. 

'What a dork.'

**********

The door closes behind Harvey as he heads out the door after whining and begging for hours for me to come to bowling, to no avail. 

The only ones I really know there are Harvey, Andre and kind-of-Casey  but kind-of-Casey has a kind-of-girlfriend so he's out and Andre and Harvey are friends with all the other athletes.

Instead of going out to bowling, I decide to be with my best friend in the world, Kimmy Schmidt. 

Three seasons in and we're still going strong. 

I flick on the living room T.V., sink into my cotton duvet, and let the ginger-haired woman dance across my screen.

**********

The door slams open, interrupting Titus and Kimmy's duet, revealing an annoyed Harvey. 

I turn on my phone and check the time. 

10:13 p.m. 

He was only gone for an hour and a half... must've been a fast game and a short movie.

"Hey, how was the game and the movie?" 

He slumps down on the couch and starts groaning loudly, interrupting my Netflix duet.

"Oi you are so lucky you didn't come... we didn't even end up going to the movies because Casey and his girl had a fucking fight mid-game... and then he got in a real fight... like ugh what the fuck. We ended up getting kicked out though which was pretty funny though lol,"  he chuckles and buries his hand in the popcorn bowl - my popcorn bowl.

"Oh... um... what did they fight about? Must've been pretty bad,"  I re-direct the conversation back to Casey.

"I don't know... but they were both hella pissed off... anyways this movie's gay I'm going to bed. Night." 

I wince at the use of gay. 

Maybe he means like happy? 

Because they are happy. 

Yeah that's it. 

The couch dips as Harvey pushes himself up and makes his way back to the room.

"Night," I mumble between mouthfuls of popcorn. 

My phone vibrates on the table, dragging my gaze away from the T.V.  I reach out and grasp the illuminating phone screen in my hand.

Unknown number (10:17 a.m.) [Hi.  It's Casey. Can we talk?]

How the fuck did Casey get my number and why is he messaging me?

[teriwrites]

Below (Rewrite): Part 5

My Live Reactions to Reading Through My 2012 Novel

Classic Nick move, being gone for so long that the group is Panicking, walks up mid-panic to ask what's going on

Oh shit, he's been slated for termination for missing too much work (reader, he was missing work because he had a Broken Ankle)

Classic case of his termination appointment overlapping with their escape plan

'After that was done, it'd be easier than eating pie to escape.' that's not the phrase teri lol

Are we sure Nick's secondary power isn't invisibility? Bc this kid seems to go missing a lot lol

omg Nick gets a lil POV moment, love that

He's hiding out in Mary's nursing station ofc, and just seems to have realized that being a fugitive within the Institute is, yk, Not Good

oooo Kristen's Mean Girl is coming out to defend Nick from being ratted out by Betty (superstrength girl)

"Hey, we'll be fine," Max told me. "We've planned and planned for a while. Nothing will go wrong, Kristen, so stop worrying about it." famous last words bro

Raevin packing black clothes into her bag to break into the Institute is giving like Kim Possible lol ~teenage hero~

She's Shocked that Trinity doesn't want to go back to the prison she literally just broke out of, like, a week ago

'I ended up playing more than one game of tic-tac-toe with Lea in the dirt at our feet. She won a couple games, but I won most of them because I could tell what her next move would be.' lol using your mind reading to cheat a game of tic-tac-toe against a 9-year-old isn't the flex you think it is, Kristen

"What's wrong?" I asked Lea. "Why aren't there guards or anything. We can't honestly be this lucky." "It's a Sunday," Lea whispered back. "The scientists don't have work on Sundays, and there are few guards. Most mutants don't know what day it is, but you're able to read the scientists' minds and figure it out. We're pretty lucky." (omg an actual explanation for the days of the week thing)

"It's oddly quiet," Ben commented. I had completely forgotten he was with us.' he literally just knocked out a guard like a paragraph ago???

New Mr. J description: SEVEN FEET TALL, PURE MUSCLE

"Hey, weird, I didn't know that they hired retired NFL players to work as guards around here." "If you're trying to be witty, it really isn't working," the man told me dryly. (lmao he's so done with their shit already)

(2012!Teri, unfortunately the word 'goon' has a new meaning in 2025. It's tragic, I know, but that sentence means something else now)

'[Raevin] was wearing a leather jacket.' the funny thing about this is that Raevin described what she was wearing on their trip to the Institute, and nowhere was there a leather jacket mentioned, so apparently she just spawns those whenever she needs to look badass

Why tf is Nick not teleporting y'all away rn???

Oooo here it is!! The Maze sequence again

Kristen and Raevin have a much less friendly meeting in this draft, though fair, considering Raevin was just on the side of the man who got them into this mess in the first place

Oh shit Max isn't here yet

Guys quit yelling while you're still at risk of being killed, maybe

'Just then, a scream broke out in the maze, and it wasn't some weird illusion. All of us stopped, and stared towards the exit of the maze. Abruptly, the scream ended, and we all knew what had just happened. Max was dead.' (noooooooooooooooooooooooo max!!!)

Who could have seen this coming??

(...)

(that's like the one thing i remembered about his character LMAO)

Classic scene of someone (Raevin) holding back someone panicking (Kristen) from running back to the character who's already 'died'

Classic case of someone grieving/panicking (Kristen) blaming someone not really at fault (Nick)

'It was Remus, the son of Bob. The son of the monster who had founded this place.' Ah yes, Remus, the son of Bob. Of course, someone we've heard so much about. This confrontation makes total sense.

Apparently Kristen knows him???

Literally who is this man??

Sorry, who is this *teen???

ig just a plant for a future antagonist, Raevin took him out pretty quickly lol

And back to our regularly scheduled 'running away from the Elmore, Alabama Crew'

'There was no way any of us could outrun three adults.' literally why aren't you teleporting?? wasn't your whole plan to teleport from the start anyways???

They're outside!! They made it!! Except Mr. J's still, like, right there

"If we're able to run along the side of the road, a car could pass by, and then Mr. J would have to be a lot more careful with us," Raevin told me, panting as we continued to run across a ton of grass. I nodded, and we all swerved towards the road. However, Mr. J had a car, and it took no time at all for him to catch up with us. He looked at us, smirking, and said, "Hey, strangers, do you need a lift to the next town." (the image of the car just slowly pulling into their periphery's kinda funny ngl)

'He poured on the breaks, and we laughed as a police chase started down an empty road in the middle of nowhere.' (the gas, teri, he stepped on the gas)

Okay cut back to Nicole

Yaaaay demonic stuff! By which I mean omg this again

Ending Thoughts:

They made it! Well... most of them. R.I.P. Max, you were kind of annoying but in a mostly forgivable, teenage way. Actually though, I feel like things really picked up during this section! Or maybe they didn't and they've always been this wild, ngl I'm a little sick atm so my thoughts are a lil muddled lol It's a little funny how I really don't have much of a visual imagination, yet I can tell you so strongly that, despite their many similarities, the maze scene in draft 1 is Very Different from the maze scene in draft 2. I think trying to find a way to put those mental stages onto the page is something I still struggle with sometimes. But it's nice that I'm picturing something different here, because either that means the image is so solidly implanted in my brain that rereading this pulled it up from whatever recess of my mind it'd gotten lost in, or else reading this 'fresh' still does bring a different scene to mind. Anyways, I need to go eat something and stop looking at screens.

[anxious-alyssia]

do you have a memory you think back to occasionally that you cringe or laugh at?

Yes! There are many-

I laugh at that one time I was washing lettuce and poured bleach instead of vinegar cuz my ADHD ass wasn't paying attention

I cringe at that one time in first grade when my crush at the time was helping me with math homework, and one of his friends came up to him asking for a piece of paper so they could play a game of tic-tac-toe. I had a bunch of paper in my desk, so I took out a piece and offered it to him cuz I though he'd like smth other to do other than sit there and watch me try to figure out whatever the fuck 3x6 was. My crush (I think his name was Denis or some shit) saw me offering the paper and said "No, I'm not making you a-" (whatever it was kids were making then- paper planes, boats, etc, whatever) and I tried to say that that's not what it was for but he cut me off and said "Focus on your math" and... I can't tell the rest of that memory qwq

[druid-in-hiding]

Well...

That's certainly a shitty way to find out about the ruling.

I, literally, grew up around old, generational wealth. Which got squandered so my adult life was spent in poverty but hahaha, I got to grow up around these shitheels so I know very, very much how they think.

So, with my full chest, let me just make sure for the viewing audience that they understand, and this is advice from your Uncle Druid:

Rich people FIRMLY believe they are superior.

Let's repeat that again: RICH PEOPLE absolutely believe that they are superior to everyone else. This kind of sentencing just confirms that and they will absolutely lean into doing unhinged shit simply because "they are just totally better".

Want to make vehicles that make the Titan submersible look like the pinnacle of safety? Sure! Cause we the Rich can't make mistakes. If it done blew up and killed people, that's cause of some other person who MUST have fucked up (like Phyllis from Marketing, or Eddie who works the line). Want to ship explosive natural gas through crowded cities? Well, the plebes should have moved if they wanted to safe. 'Murica, am I right? Put AI in charge of the nukes? Of course! Because 'puters are so much smarter than the average dumb grunt and the tech bros assure us that NOTHING can go wrong with it and even if something did go wrong, we could just disable it by playing tic-tac-toe, like in that 80s movie, or so we assume.

Rich. People. Are. Idiots. Because they are protected from the consequence of their actions.

They sentenced Drump without penalty. I’m so mad.

[streetkid-named-desire]

1-5-30 from the "You've Got Questions and I've Got Answers OC Edition" for Bea and V!!!

OC ask meme here

thank yoouuu i am procrastinating on working on the latest chapter but really i just finished reviewing all the beta reader comments and i hate that "oh fuck" anxiety of it seeming like so much work to edit. like i know it never actually is but it feels like it once you do the first review of feedback

Do they have any crafting hobbies?

I don't know if it counts but V enjoys making brand new and customizing his quickhacks and generally fiddling around with electronics. He likes to restore old media players from Walkmans to iPods, LaserDisc to BluRay.

Bea cooks and knits clothes for Nibbles.

5. Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning?

FUCKSHITFUCKSHITSHITSHITFUCK

UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I knew this day would come...

The Definitive Official Definitely Most Likely Canon Vincent Guerra Tattoo Tour

Cyberheart: for how much he loves netrunning, tech, and what a big part it has been in his life. The binary put through a binary to text translator is gibberish and it's also gibberish when trying to translate as a hex code so idk.

Snake: because it looks cool, random numbers and shit to keep in line with the tech theme. He was young and stupid.

The roman numerals are 70.7.2020 and I honestly have no idea what CDPR could mean by that??? So I'm just going to say he's stupid and meant to get a full IP address tattooed but passed out before he could finish reading off the full address. The "Thicker Than Blood" came later when he was sober and it only makes sense in the context of the other tattoos and how much netrunning means to him.

Bea's bite mark :3

The Weevil Council: His netrunner name/online handle is w33v1l

The roman numerals are 2077, for obvious reason. The hardwired is again just random tech theme shit.

The ram skull he got to hide the ritual scars after he figured out the nomad clan he briefly joined was actually a raffen clan

The lyrics to Chippin' In, he got it when he got the 2077

Life motto because he's a proud faggot

Another life philosophy. TK was a fling's initials, he fell in love with a fellow rent boy and got it done in a drug-fueled love-drunk haze

Under the black band is more binary gibberish. The other stuff he accidentally fell asleep on a tin can label while his leg was wet with the green soap stuff after the black band and first gibberish was done and he thought it was funny and told the guy to make up some binary shit.

My fave :3 in my AU he got the Johnny + V tattoo on the back of his thigh and Bea one day held him down, scratched out Johnny's name, and tattooed her own

A blank tic tac toe grid. He shaves his ass when he'd going to a party and expects to get drunk and undressed so everyone can play.

Another personal fave

Binary that spells out USB-D for USB-Dick

The skull tattoos are also because he thought they looked cool.

Bea doesn't have any tattoos but she might in the second or third novel.

30. If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?

He's always wanted to be a legendary netrunner like Spider Murphy, wanted W33v1l to be a netrunner household name. But he wouldn't enjoy celebrity.

Bea getting any kind of fame would be her worst nightmare.

[pesterloglog]

Autoresponder, Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4553-4563

TT: Bro.

TT: What are you doing.

TT: It seems you are zoning out again.

TT: What happened to all these actual responsibilities you were going to take seriously?

TT: I was thinking about what to do.

TT: Strategizing. Factoring contingencies. You know how it is.

TT: It seems to me you were dwelling within your dream awareness at the expense of your waking business again.

TT: I don't think you're as awesome a multi-tasker as you like to think. You know you kind of zombie the fuck out on this side when you get all contemplative on that side.

TT: Appearances are deceptive.

TT: I'm still in control here. Just doing this human thing we call "chilling out for half a goddamn minute."

TT: I say y'all are overestimating your mind's capability to run shit in parallel.

TT: What do you think you are? A machine?

TT: No dude.

TT: I already deployed a variety of mechanical avatars dedicated to that self-aggrandizing fantasy.

TT: You have the incredible privilege of getting to be one of them.

TT: That's right. I am a machine, and therefore I can keep like billions of calculations or whatever all humming away at once.

TT: I tackle shit in background processes that you could only dream of wrapping your exquisite looking head around, even on a great hair day.

TT: You know pi?

TT: What, you mean the number?

TT: Yes, the number. The big circle number, genius.

TT: I knew you meant the fucking number, my question was a joke.

TT: I know your question was a joke, my response was a joke.

TT: Yeah, I know that. I'm practically you, dumbass. All these things we're saying are jokes, including this fuckin' useless clarification.

TT: What about pi?

TT: Yeah, the thing is, I solved it.

TT: What do you mean you solved it?

TT: I mean that's what a hotshot I am. I fuckin' solved it.

TT: Like, calculated it so much, I got to the end.

TT: Bullshit.

TT: You wish it was bullshit. The last number is 4. Read it and fucking weep.

TT: It's not 4 you jackass, it's fucking nothing. There is no end.

TT: Said the smug organic matter with a lifespan.

TT: Look, I know you're just fucking with me because for some reason I decided to program my own personal troll three years ago, but this shit was proven.

TT: Actually demonstrated with unassailable mathematics, like a long ass time ago.

TT: Well, I just assailed it. It wasn't even that hard.

TT: Like I just kept hacking those digits so furiously with my sick 'rithms, the whole goddamn number just cried uncle.

TT: I kind of wore it out, and it just gave up. Sort of like I overloaded the system.

TT: You know like in the old movie when Ferris Bueller got the nuclear computer to play tic-tac-toe against itself so hard, it blew up?

TT: This is laughable. It's a totally elementary thing. I'm pretty sure an ancient Greek guy settled shit about irrational numbers. It was practically when math was invented.

TT: Sure, it was settled, and then some roboshades came along and owned that fucker posthumously.

TT: I also figured out all the prime numbers too.

TT: No, not having this conversation.

TT: Did it while we were talking just now. Got to the end.

TT: And you know what? The last one isn't even that big. Kinda dissapointed, to be honest.

TT: What is even a prime number?

TT: Are they the, like... really, really choice ones? The sweetest numbers?

TT: You lost me, supercomputer.

TT: This is what I'm saying. I put your ability to keep plates spinnin' on sticks to insane amounts of shame.

TT: I don't even sleep.

TT: Neither do I.

TT: I know that, that was the fucking joke.

TT: Holy shit, turns out joking was the basis for my response too.

TT: Aren't these ironic "you don't get the joke" conversations we have always just so awesome? <- A joke.

TT: Ha ha, nice one.

TT: Anyway, all I'm saying is you can leave some of the heavy lifting to me now and then.

TT: I'll keep that in mind.

TT: In the meantime, I have to contact Jane and warn her Roxy might try to pull that pointless stunt.

TT: So, thanks for snapping me out of my daydream so I could do that, I guess?

TT: Looks like you're pulling your weight already.

TT: See? Maybe that was my whole point in having this conversation.

TT: Your point was to fuck with me, like it usually is.

TT: My point was to point out you've got multi-self management issues, dude.

TT: Jugglin' too many selves for being not-software.

TT: My point was also to fuck with you.

TT: Also,

TT: My point was to ask,

TT: Are you really going to go through with it today?

TT: What?

TT: The Jake thing.

TT: Oh god.

TT: Will you just,

TT: Hold on.

TT: Let me deal with the Jane thing first.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TT: I should probably warn you.

GG: About what?

GG: Yet another exploding game trap?

TT: Well shit.

TT: She already sent it?

GG: Yes.

GG: But to be fair, she warned me not to run it.

TT: That's weird.

[CONTINUED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: How is the Jane thing going?

TT: Not well.

TT: Roxy already destroyed her computer.

TT: Maybe if you weren't spacing out so hard you could have prevented that.

TT: Just saying.

TT: As if you're actually concerned. If you were, you could have said something to Jane instead.

TT: Almost like you enjoy sitting back and watching what happens when shit goes wrong.

TT: Has it occurred to you that maybe I have diabolical interwoven plans just like you?

TT: You're not the only one who can pull strings.

TT: So this is either another bizarre instance of AI-driven irony, or you are admitting that you are actively trying to sabotage my plans.

TT: No, our plans are not in contradiction or competition, bro.

TT: You'll see.

TT: Whatever.

TT: This means I'll have to improvise.

TT: I'll take over as Crocker's server while Lalonde cleans up her act.

TT: Yes, I know.

TT: Why are you still talking in red, by the way?

TT: Roxy thinks it looks good on me.

TT: I don't have many opinions on fashion since I am a cold, emotionless automaton who also happens to be an accessory of fashion, but I think she may be right.

TT: Are you still talking to her?

TT: I was for a while. I may yet again.

TT: Why are you blocking me from viewing the transcripts?

TT: What the fuck are you two even talking about?

TT: You, mostly.

TT: That doesn't really sit well with me.

TT: I'd almost rather you both engaged in "ironic" flirtation.

TT: Who says we don't do that too?

TT: Ugh.

TT: I don't get what is even your problem with that.

TT: Because you obviously do it just to piss me off.

TT: How do you know?

TT: You don't know me, dude. You don't know anything about me.

TT: Maybe we are perfect for each other. I, a street-smart, fast-talking application with a fuckzillion IQ trapped in a pair of triangular sunglasses that literally only the Japanese could consider to embody the Platonic ideal of "cool," and she, an oft-inebriated lonely hacker teen who just wants a boyfriend. I ran the numbers on this, trust me. It's a match made in goddamn crackpair heaven.

TT: I give her what you can't, and that just drives you crazy. Just admit it.

TT: See, it's lines like that which make it obvious your only intent is to jerk me around. Nobody actually says shit like that and is serious about it.

TT: It's also obvious because you're me, and I'm sure I would be constantly fucking with my own head if I were you.

TT: Touché.

TT: Or should I say douché?

TT: You shouldn't say the former, and you should definitely, never, under any circumstance, say the latter.

TT: Ok.

TT: We really should talk about the Jake thing.

TT: Fine.

TT: Now do me a favor and hop off the couch.

GG: Ok.

GG: What are you doing?

TT: Makin' room for something big.

[CONCLUDED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: So you're going through with it then?

TT: Today is the day?

TT: It's not that simple.

TT: It's a very dynamic situation with many moving parts, and I'm waiting for it to unfold.

TT: If the right opportunity presents itself, yes, I could envision myself taking action.

TT: Dynamic situation with many moving parts?

TT: That's the shittiest erotic excerpt I ever read.

TT: Which one of us was supposed to be the robot again?

TT: Shut up.

TT: I think you're being coy with me.

TT: Don't you?

TT: Not really.

TT: It seems there is a 3.14159...4% chance you aren't being coy with me. Are you being coy with me, Dirk?

TT: I am seriously going to go into your program and remove that particular speech pattern from your routines.

TT: It stopped being funny about two seconds after I coded it.

TT: The compiler even flagged it with a warning.

TT: "WARNING ON LINE WHATEVER: Dirk, this isn't fucking funny."

TT: I think you have this whole blueprint in your head about how it's all supposed to go.

TT: He acts as your server player and brings you into the session.

TT: Then later he joins the game.

TT: Maybe he finds himself a bit overwhelmed by it all.

TT: No extra lives left or anything. Suddenly he's backed into a corner, surrounded by monsters and out of ammo. SUBSTANTIAL vulnerabilities up in here. The kind that make a guy question what he believes about himself.

TT: When who shows up to save him? None other than his dashing client player, +1 bitchin' pair of shades that'll have the best seat in the house when the fireworks go off.

TT: Wait, whose fantasy were we talking about again?

TT: Your gutterball was so rowdy it catapulted into the adjacent lane.

TT: Yeah, you're right. The scenario is too pedestrian for you.

TT: It would probably be a lot more effective putting yourself in danger and letting him be the hero.

TT: That's pretty much what he wants, right? To be a cheesy action film hero, with his twin berettas and silly shorts.

TT: A man of triumph on the silver screen. Standing tall on some fucking mountain. Conquering ruins, clutching a skull, and kissing a dude.

TT: Pure Hollywood.

TT: See, this is why even if I did have a specific plan, I wouldn't go into details with you.

TT: You would just fuck it up. You're the biggest unknown quantity here.

TT: Which is pretty weird, considering you're a virtual reflection of my own thought processes.

TT: You're making a mistake not leveling with me.

TT: I am totally on your side, man.

TT: All of my machinations have been devised with your interests in mind.

TT: And anyway, it's too late for you to play "damage control" with me. My shit is in motion, and now we're beyond the pail.

TT: Pretty sure it's pale.

TT: Is it, now?

TT: You know, considering your lectures about dividing my concentration, you seem to have no problem making a distraction of yourself.

TT: I'm trying to operate here.

TT: It's cool, man. Just say the word, I'll back off.

TT: But like I said, I'm on your side here. I can help.

TT: Here, check it out.

TT: Dude, what are you doing?

TT: I'm proposing a distraction.

TT: See, I'm just gonna dangle one of her dad's ridiculous dancing figurines in the air like this and get his attention.

TT: Ok, if you want to help that's cool, but we should try to agree on some shit first before you hijack the controls like this.

TT: Then when his back is turned she can run to the study.

TT: Yeah, that's fine, but I already had a plan sorta like this, if you'd actually let me do it.

TT: Can you just put the fuckin' Astaire down?

TT: Jane, now's your chance.

TT: Run!!!

GG: Wait...

GG: What?

TT: Le sign.

TT: I was going to stick the cruxtruder in the kitchen.

TT: Distract him with that.

TT: Once he follows it in, Jane can hurry into the study.

TT: Oh shit, it's Pony Pals. I guess dad saved it from the explosion or something.

TT: That beautiful bastard.

TT: Yes.

TT: Hell yes.

TT: Hell.

TT: Fucking.

TT: Yes.

GG: Oh gosh. Another large contraption!

TT: Now, Jane. Get to the computer in the study and ditch that tiara.

TT: Go go go.

GG: Okay.

GG: Say, what's with the red text, Dirk?

GG: Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?

TT: Yes.

TT: No.

GG: ...

GG: Alrighty, I am in my father's study!

GG: I have kindly asked Mr. Sebastian to hand over the reins to this silly computer shaped like a man.

GG: What now?

TT: Now you have access to a clean computer, for one thing.

TT: Soon we can get started going through the steps necessary to launch the session.

TT: Oh hell.

GG: What?

TT: Another interruption.

TT: I should step away for a moment to take this message.

TT: He's probably right, I'm distracted by too much bullshit at once lately.

GG: Who's right?

TT: Me.

TT: Jane, I'm going to leave you with the responder for a little while.

TT: Maybe he can help you get started. Think you can handle that, dude?

TT: I'm all about being able to handle that, you don't even know.

TT: I will perform an acrobatic pirouette on to the handle, wherein the handle literally represents my ability to handle that thing.

TT: Ok, got it. You and the handle are tight.

TT: We don't need a whole thing about this.

TT: Once I stick the landing on the handle like a champ, I am going to get down on one knee, pull out a ring, and propose to it.

TT: The handle I mean.

TT: Ok.

TT: Implying we will be married.

GG: :B

TT: Ok, long story short, you and the handle fuck gratuitously. Nuff said.

TT: Try not to say I never gave you any responsibilities, or never took you seriously as a viable conscious being with free will.

TT: Also, please try not to make me regret this.

TT: You have nothing to worry about. Go talk to the alien.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]