#I CARE ABOUT THEM.. SO MUCH. FUCK S2 FOR REAL

[kanskje-kaffe]

Silco was born in the dark. Home to him is the greasy green of oil-lamps and the buzz of the electrics, powered with bunched cables that trailed overhead and fanned out at the tunnel junctions. It's the smell of coal and tallow, stone dust and diesel backwash. It's the crunch of grit between his teeth. It's thirst. The fissure folk were always wary of miners, said they could see in the dark. It's true. Silco can. --- Silco endures wounds upon wounds, and still he doesn't die—but he's not the only one. Don't all monsters come from the dark? Tell me about Zaun again, Vander.

Howl Right Back on AO3

Pairing: Silco/Warwick, Silco/Vander Rating: Explicit Chapters: 1/3

---

This is a gift for the amazing @wishfulsketching and their bomb ass Silco-meets-Warwick fanart. I was sooososo inspired by the image of Silco screaming the fuck back into Warwick's face! That's a love language babey! I think Silco deserves a werewolf boyfriend who eats people!

(Thank you to @withercrown and @spicedrobot for the beta and edits! Mwah mwah!)

[courtneydeservesbetter]

Hate that my favorite character is usually the least fav in a popular ship. This happens to me so often that I can feel it when I read a fanfic. That my baby just isn’t as fleshed out as the other half of the couple, that they’re basic personality traits are off, that the blame of everything bad that happened in their canon relationship is on them. So then I’m reading like HEY leave them alone, they’re BOTH freaks!

[27spoons]

yapping yapping to you dudeeee. have you seen how nat treated mari's brat ass (and some of shauna's, too)? i was like: panties? where? *inserts that meme of an emoji with a dangling lingerie* like, the way her care and natural protective instincts kick in, even though others might give two fucks about her 😭😭 my baby, come here, i'll take care of youuuuu imagining a brat!reader making nat's days a living hell, but she can't possibly lash out, so she puts reader into a time-out (house arrest tf), or even brings them their portion of the food into their hut, ending up in nat "teaching reader" how to behave 😇 yuk, an innocent lesson

what if i said i wanted to be put in my place. what then. what if i said i need to piss nat off until she snaps at me, realises that i liked it, and then does it again?

nsfw blurb / smut / gn!afab!reader / porn w some plot / self-indulgent / not proofread we die like the cabin at the end of s2/ wc: 1260

natalie stands outside your shelter, the fresh scent of damp earth and cool spring air brushing past. the spring out here is deceptive—warmer than the cruel winter was but still bitter in the mornings and evenings. the soft hum of insects punctuate the silence that settles in the dim light of the evening.

inside, you restlessly lay on your makeshift bedroll, leg bouncing as you trace the light strips that filter through the gaps in your structure with your eyes. when she finally steps in—carrying a wooden bowl of stew—you glance up with a cocky grin that you already know nat will not like.

"well, well." you drawl, sitting up. "The Queen herself. To what do I owe the pleasure on this fine evening?"

nat doesn't bite. she places the bowl on the tree stump in front of you unceremoniously. "dinner," she says simply, straightening and crossing her arms.

"wow, room service?" you let out a low whistle, leaning back and lacing your fingers behind your head. "i gotta say, i'm kinda liking this whole 'house arrest' thing, you know? the perks are nice." a beat, "actually, is it too much to ask, or could i get some dessert?"

her jaw clenches, but she manages to keep her voice in check. "you seriously think this is funny?"

"i mean... yeah." you shrug. "let's be real, nat. you're supposed to be running this place or whatever, but here you are, babysitting me." you groan and sit back up, "doesn't really scream..." a beat as you feign thought, "fearsome leader, you know?"

nat's eyes narrow, and you swear you can feel the frustration radiating off of her. the distant sounds of the wilderness around you seems to grow at the sudden tension, filling the space between you two. "you really wanna test how far i'll go?"

your grin falters slightly, but you can't deny the subtle rush that builds inside of you at the way her voice lowers. "what are you gonna do? give me another stern talking-to?"

she steps closer, her worn combat boots crunching against the forest floor. she leans down just enough to meet your gaze, her voice shifting to that tone she knows gets you weak. “no. talking doesn’t seem to work with you.”

before you can fire back a retort, she's grabbing your jaw with her right hand and squeezing. "you aren't leaving this hut until i say so, and honestly?" her voice lowers further, "i don't think you deserve to leave after all this shit you've pulled, do you?"

you stare up at her, unsure if you're supposed to be feeling afraid, aroused, or both."uh…" you blink a few times, "wow, nat. you really got the whole… 'scary leader' thing down. i'm shaking in my boots."

a scoff leaves her lips, but she doesn't visibly react further to your sarcasm. "you can joke all you want, yeah? but we both know you'll listen to what i say. because if you don't…" her eyes flash down to your lips for a moment, "well, they don't last very long."

your stomach twists, but not because you're scared. well, maybe a little. but mostly? well, mostly you're just aroused.

and nat knows, if the way she smirks is any indication. "yeah. you know that, don't you?" her voice carries a teasing lilt that does unpleasant (but not unwelcome) things to your insides. "all you really want is to be put in your place." she grips your jaw a little tighter, "open your mouth more."

you do. your lips part on command, and you're rewarded with nat spitting into your mouth slowly. "close. don't swallow." you do as she asks, of course. there's no way she doesn't know you're ruining your underwear right about now. 

you swear you haven't taken a breath in a million years as she looks down at you, eyes sharp and calculating. "good. swallow." you comply, maintaining eye contact, then open your mouth to show her that you listen.

nat grins. "look at you. you can listen." 

she gives you a firm shove back onto your bedroll and follows you down. "but i think i still need to prove my point." 

one of her hands slides underneath the waistband to your pants without hesitation, and it takes everything in her to not make a sound of satisfaction at how wet you are already. "jesus. already?" she manages, the words almost coming out in a whine and breaking this facade of control. "you're fucking soaked."

"can't help it." you reply immediately, already feeling the fight in you leave the second she gets her hands on you, "it's you. you do this to me." you're already clenching around nothing, staring up at nat's form over your body with an expression of pure want. "please."

the girl almost scoffs at how quick you get to begging, considering it usually takes far longer to break you down. "damn. that was fast. you a little desperate?"

"fuck you—" you try and start, but your protests are quickly cut off with a sudden push of her forefinger into your cunt. "oh—"

"that's what i thought." she grins, starting to move her finger without giving you time to get used to the intrusion. "all talk and no game, yeah? not so big once someone actually starts taking charge."

your fingers dig into the soil around your bedroll, knowing better than to grab onto her right now. "that's not fair—"

another finger. "nothing is fucking fair." she bites, leaning down closer to your face, "we're trapped in the middle of goddamn nowhere, and you're talking to me about fair?" a harsh scoff leaves her lips as she begins pumping her fingers faster, "life isn't fucking fair."

you'd make a smart reply to that if you could, but it's sort of hard to do when her fingers are ruthlessly fucking in and out of you, your wetness soaking into the fabric of your underwear. "already so worked up." she tsks, "bet i could give you a third finger right now and you'd—" 

she does.

three fingers deep, fingers curling in and out of your pussy with a passion that only nat can possess, you groan and throw your head back. 

nat slaps her free hand over your mouth with a hiss, "jesus! do you want them to hear what's going on in here?" her fingers never cease in their actions as her gaze flicks to the entrance for a moment, watching to make sure no one is about to walk in on you two. "shit, i would never hear the end of this…" she murmurs before returning her gaze to you, hardening it slightly. "should have known you wouldn't be able to keep quiet." 

she grinds her palm against your clit with every crook of her fingers, and you can barely keep your eyes open at the harsh movements she fucks you with—pain and pleasure blurring together somewhere along the way. 

her breath ghosts over your ear as she leans down, and you can feel her smirk. "you're gonna come for me, and when you do, it's gonna happen again." you whine, and she chuckles lowly in response. "and again. until i fucking decide that you've finally understood how to listen to fucking orders."you stare up at her with wide eyes when she pulls her face back slightly, and nat's grin only widens further. "and we both know you have a hard time following orders." her fingers find that one spot, and you swear you see stars—"so i think it's gonna be a long night."

[cyranonic]

I feel like one of the exchanges in S2 that fucks me up the most is this one between Louis and Madeleine that is so pivotal and yet happens basically in the background. It just says so much about who Louis is at this point in his life and why his relationship with Armand is so essentially tragic for them both.

For Armand, the ship has already sailed on betraying Louis and Claudia. He is seconds away from letting the coven ritually murder them and so NATURALLY that is the moment when Madeleine finally confirms the thing that he could never be certain of, the love that he wanted and yet could not quite trust was real. We see that in his face; the misery of that realization.

For Louis, it just devastates me to think about how much of his life has been about hiding his true self, afraid to reveal his softer feelings. In the first episode of the show, he tells Daniel that before Lestat he had never allowed himself to emotionally connect to another man. A big part of this is probably the homophobia of the time period when he was raised. Lestat seems to recognize this when he turns Louis, offering him the chance to be true to himself.

But even after Lestat, we see that Louis still struggles with this. He can allow himself to feel connected to Claudia because she is his child and then his sister. In his mortal life, Louis took on the role of provider for his family, allowing himself to show affection to his mother and sister through his role as a caretaker. Even with Paul, he is both brother and father, caring for him due to his mental illness. Becoming a vampire separated him from familial love, leading him to beg Lestat to turn Claudia so that he can yet again have that love that he connects to being a caretaker.

With Armand, Louis expresses sexual interest, but never emotional closeness. Their dynamic falls into the pattern of dominant and submissive, but without the openly expressed care and security needed to make that relationship work. Just as with Lestat, Louis has a pattern of withholding affection as a form of self-protection. He doesn't want to be vulnerable. He can laugh and joke about the sexual appeal of his partner, but is immediately uncomfortable when Madeleine brings up his deeper feelings.

I think a part of this is derived not just from Louis' queerness and his response to a homophobic society, but also his blackness. In New Orleans, he is constantly emasculated and infantilized by white men. Being called "boy" or being praised for "doing a good job" is a tactic that white supremacists use to remind Louis that he is vulnerable. And after that, combined with the trauma he experienced during his relationship with Lestat, Louis is sick of being vulnerable. So even when he is falling in love, even when his partner is a POC, Louis can't share those feelings. Louis' final words, "he knows," indicate that his withholding isn't malicious or manipulative. It's a hopeful rather than true statement. Louis wants Armand to know, but he shies away from actually having the conversation.

Anyways it's such a gut-punch moment to me that foreshadows how Louis and Armand's relationship had some potential for genuine love within it, but it was also pretty doomed from the start.

[softantlers]

i've written on it before in past metas but i think i sort of danced around the point in a way that could be communicated more sharply: i think it's super crucial to lottie's character to think of the wilderness as an abuser & to be curious about the ways that dynamic drives her actions and relationships with the other girls.

the wilderness as an abuser meta (with some lottienat side action)

i don't know if i have the energy to explain this as well as i'd like but something that can happen in an abusive relationship is "love bombing" -- there's the pop psychology slant to this which can get super reductive so i'm not trying to go there, but the main thing to understand with love bombing as a real tool of abuse is that it's often meant to isolate you. it's meant to make you feel that the person doing it is the only person who can really give you that degree of affection or attention or fondness & that if you let them go, you'll never ever ever be loved in that way again. (it keeps you in the cycle of abuse by preying on your insecurities and feelings of scarcity.)

the fact that lottie becomes a sort of conduit to the wilderness and therefore has a unique and special relationship to it that's admired by some of the girls who end up following her is deeply troublesome, not least because it plays into lottie's spiral into derealization but also because it's essentially giving someone who entered the wilderness profoundly isolated a sense of being needed for something that's yoked to her being unmedicated and growing progressively unwell.

i've waxed on in past metas about lottie being mixed, how untalkable her diagnosis would have been, the relative absence of her parents-- it all functions to make her an island. she's known but unknown. no one truly sees her, but the wilderness is of her and it can only be communicated to the other girls through her & that's a very dangerous avenue for lottie to gather a sense of self from because it's predicated on not just being unmedicated but on the fervent desire to take care of her team by following the whims of this new belief system.

how that all gets back into abuse-- the combo of the delusions and the feeling of being special, which is rather chaotically denied and affirmed by the girls over their time in the wilderness, is a kind of love bombing. you might argue that lottie doesn't actually feel special or god-like (and i actually think this is true-- she feels like a drowning acolyte trying to keep it altogether) but her baseline perception is that she is special because heavy are her shoulders wearing the crown through s1-s2. it's not the kind of grandiosity that smacks you in the face because it's much more restrained. lottie simply knows she's the one who hears the wilderness. she even knows it hurts and you must sacrifice to hear the wilderness, but it's coming from a place of love. she will give of herself for her girls, and she will partake in this relationship (as much as it torments her) to keep them safe.

lottie doesn't wield her connection to the wilderness like a weapon necessarily. she's not flaunting it. it's a steady knowing inside her. she's chosen.

and in any case, the wilderness is an abuser because what it demands of lottie are things you experience when you're going through abuse:

loss of personhood

as lottie deregulates she begins to lose the sassyness, bite, and sense of humor that we saw pre-crash. we get a bit of her old self right after the plane goes down: her snipes at mari and travis, and we get the briefest flash of it in the bathtub scene with natalie: "you fucking loser."

these moments are lottie to some extent, which we see echoed through to her medicated state in the adult timeline: "asshole" she calls natalie, calling tai out for simone, calling misty out for really killing someone, etc etc. even just smiling and being happy to dance together...

but in the wilderness? lottie is fucking losing the plot. she's so unlike herself, she's tormented, she's wearing the same clothes, she's saying less and less and less, she's pushing boundaries. her whole personhood is turning into acolyte, prophet, etc. her value system is blurred and hard to retrieve.

she's not pre-crash lottie at all.

punishment

this is a huge one. so one aspect of abuse is withholding attention to torment someone when they do something that isn't to your liking. this is so plain in lottie's relationship to the wilderness. for example, when everything goes down with javi and the queen draw (an outcome we know lottie didn't want), she proceeds to crown natalie as leader. the fact of the wilderness becoming silent to lottie around the same time as crowning natalie feels really important, because natalie is not the type of leader who is going to let shit fly that far off the chain again. we totally see the contrast in how nat walks the girls through survivalism in the spring. under nat's leadership, there is no cannibalism. imo, this is one the reasons lottie picked her (alongside the fact that i think she knew nat needed it but sidebar). she saw that nat would lead them through without the kind of horror that killed javi (and she was right)

but also, it seems like the wilderness really didn't fuck with that because it left her.

punishment, punishment, punishment. "you tried to play a game with me, you tried to give it off to someone else, but you can't, you can't, you can't." the wilderness is inside lottie and it has deep and incredibly cruel wants, but it's also the only thing that made her matter... it's the only thing that had her with both feet on the ground. and now it's left her and the absence feels like a hole in her chest. she's going to go fucking crazy if she doesn't get that connection again, that piece of her that actually for once mattered and that actually for once was needed and seen by other people. and this is how the wilderness draws her back to it. "you thought you could be anything without me? you can't." it's why imo, the second she starts to feel it again, she starts making choices at the expense of travis, at the expense of akilah, at the expense of nat, and to some extent at the expense of shauna (enabling her mental break as well).

because when you're living through that kind of abuse and the abuser has made itself your whole world, personhood, and identity, then other people become unreal. you can't really consider their needs because they're barriers to you trying to survive.

on the topic of punishment, i could talk a bit here about the mari warning as well but i already wrote a meta about that, so i'll link:

stockholm syndrome

i mean this one writes itself. lottie can't leave the wilderness because leaving the wilderness would be psychic annihilation. she's found too much personhood and meaning in her connection with the wilderness (and ofc, she's bought in to the idea that staying would be better for everyone: "what home do you have to go back to, nat?") without the wilderness, what is lottie?

i feel like there's a necessary degree of empathy that needs to be adopted when considering lottie's desire to stay behind because it would be easy to call it "selfish," which i mean she is (to our knowledge) an only child of rich elites, so there is that... but i also think purely considering it selfish and self-serving is a bit of a disservice to what it feels like to be abused. first of all, we already know from the cave scene with akilah that lottie doesn't think leaving will actually be leaving. the wilderness is inside now. one of the things that keeps victims of abuse from leaving their circumstances is that they are presently surviving it, regardless of how truly awful it is, & that attempting to leave might provoke enough anger that they'll either actually be killed or others (like their children) will be.

there's a lot of fear with even asking for help because there's often an earned paranoia around surveillance (which really matches the energy of lottie's conception of the wilderness & how she doesn't seem willing to communicate her torment to others) and an associated concern that even discussing trying to leave will trigger some form of violence. personally, i really do think lottie was willing to stay behind on her own and be with the wilderness, as wretched as that existence would have been. the fact of others wanting to stay with her was reassuring because the wilderness is fucking scary. she wouldn't be alone and yes it's awful but can you blame her for not wanting to be alone? lottie's whole life has been oriented around being alone with her own personal torments. maybe we can have a little sympathy for lapping up the offer to be with her team, even though it ends up hurting everyone.

natalie & lottie & abuse

but yeah, so that brings me to lottie and nat. one thing that i think is really fucking interesting about their dynamic in the scene where lottie says that she's staying is that nat is a survivor of abuse. if you take this meta i'm jotting down and put it in contrast to nat, it's pretty jarring. lottie is a lot like nat's mom in this situation, who we know was at least getting thrown around by her gun-violent father and possibly worse. the sort of similar deliriums (likely through drugs and alcohol with vera and ofc schizophrenia with lottie) is heart-breaking, and the concept of nat watching people descend into that both pre- and post-crash is also heartbreaking.

i mean, if you really go down that this path, you can see lottie being beat up by shauna as a super triggering event for nat bc of the way it might bring her mom to mind. i wrote a meta about her physical reactions here:

but yeah bringing that all back to lottie and nat's interaction when lottie says she doesn't want to go-- well shit, it seems like that would be a lot like nat's mom "choosing" to stay with her father despite the fact he's a piece of shit.

i don't know how extensively nat considers all this or relates it back to herself, but we do get an inkling that she acknowledges the wilderness as something bad for her team in the scene of her telling it off in the plane that they're going to leave it behind.

so nat thinks of the wilderness as bad and lottie is here telling her that she's staying and nat is trying to convince her to go and lottie won't fucking go, & then lottie says something (in a bid for connection imo but so badly worded) that shuts nat down and drives her away.

nat's choice to walk away from lottie in that moment is the choice of a child of abuse to walk away from someone who is not ready to end a relationship with their abuser. i think it's helpful to not necessarily read this interaction as antagonistic or abandoning but as nat's natural sort of orientation toward lottie, which has always been to not participate in the abuse whether she really understands it as abuse or not. she's an eternal skeptic and this decision to turn her back just as much as any of her other actions says, "i won't be a part of you hurting yourself."

which tbh to me is the whole tragedy/tension of their dynamic.

[drusill-a]

[WWDitS finale spoilers]

Aside from the obvious – the gross shipbaiting and mocking naive viewers who dared to believe an m/m dynamic could be treated as anything other than the butt of the joke – my biggest issue with the WWDitS finale is that it’s an ending that could have made sense… but at most after s2. Back then, we were still watching a story about characters who didn’t share any particular bonds (except for Nadja/Laszlo) and who were entirely static, unaffected by the things they experienced.

The thing is, the creators themselves realized you can’t build a long-running story on that formula – eventually, the characters had to evolve at least a little, and their relationships had to deepen so viewers would have any reason to root for them. And so Guillermo’s position in the group began to change – first, he earned their minimal respect, then a very solid place, until finally, in season 5, all the other characters had reached a point where they didn’t even hide that they genuinely cared about him a lot. The same happened with Colin, who at first was completely left out by the other housemates but gradually earned an equal spot in the group and developed that stupid yet sweet bond with Laszlo (erasing those memories was, imo, one of the writers’ biggest mistakes). Laszlo showed himself capable of empathy, which he proved again in s5 by helping Guillermo, and even Nadja, who used to completely disregard everyone’s feelings, had several moments in later seasons where she openly cared – at least in her own way –  about the others.

And of course, that’s how we got the romantic subtext between Guillermo and Nandor. Over all those seasons – from s3 up until s6 – I was certain it was a classic will they, won’t they dynamic that would end with them getting together. I just couldn’t believe the writers would spend the last 4 seasons making their relationship more equal and showing Nandor’s journey to realizing Guillermo genuinely mattered to him, only to do nothing with it – or worse, regress them back by three seasons. But the late s6 Nandor’s “no homo” attitude has very little in common with the Nandor from seasons 4 and 5, who was openly pining and lusting after Guillermo.

From Guillermo’s perspective, this ending is an absolute tragedy – even the end of the previous episode gave him much more hope. Maybe he’d lost his lifelong dream and still hadn’t found a new purpose, but he had found a family and a place in the world, with a potential chance to build something meaningful with Nandor in the future. I don’t understand why this episode had to undo all of that – to show us that none of his friends really listen to him, that the power dynamic with Nandor will always be uneven, and that ultimately he wasted 16 years, and no one would really care that much if he left. Considering how great Guillermo’s development was, especially in gaining confidence from s4 onward, this ending feels so unfair and insulting to his character.

I feel like the writers’ biggest mistakes have been forcing a return to the status quo after every season. After the breakup in s3, the characters should have stayed apart for at least an episode or two. Colin should have remembered that Laszlo raised him, and they should’ve kept their funny, fucked-up father-son relationship until the end of the show. Guillermo should’ve been a real vampire for at least a full season—or, in my opinion, permanently—because, as it turns out, the writers had absolutely no idea what to do with his character once he lost that goal. Relationships that had evolved shouldn’t be randomly reset by a couple of seasons just because the writers couldn’t be bothered to put in the effort to write anything new for them.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too – if the writers were so dead-set on giving us an  ending that says “nothing in these characters’ lives matters, and nothing will ever change,” they should have made the show half as long and spared viewers the trouble of getting invested in character and relationship arcs that ultimately went nowhere.

This is a comedy show that was supposed to make people feel better. After this finale, I feel mocked by the creators for believing that the queer ship they sold me for 4 seasons had a chance of being treated equally to an m/f ship. I’m also sad because the characters were regressed and left stuck in eternal limbo, and generally I feel ridiculed because the writers openly made fun of us for getting emotionally invested in the story they wrote for us.

And maybe the biggest crime of these last few episodes was that they weren’t even remotely funny—so you can’t even say they prioritized comedy over character development, because it failed on that front too.

[lipstickchainsaw]

Things I would've liked to see in Arcane S2, in no particular order:

Caitlyn doing some more heinous shit after becoming dictator. Let her be evil, damnit! Let her fuck up the Firelights' sanctuary to achieve whatever goal! Make some people mad!

More of a sense of the power struggle between Ambessa and Caitlyn. Let Caitlyn look into the disappearances as well, or at least give us a sense of what she thinks is going on. Maybe give Shoola something to do after even Salo left. Make the upper class of Piltover feel more alive.

Give Caitlyn the initiative in her turn away from Ambessa, mirror Vi choosing to trust Jinx while facing to Warwick here, and have it take a little more to get them on the same page.

Let Ekko and Jinx actually rally Zaun in the final act. The way they're seen by their people was a pretty big deal, and I would've liked to see that go somewhere in the climax.

Actually, have Zaun actually discuss what to do in the Noxus/Piltover war. Both sides oppressed Zaun pretty badly, so maybe there's some people who want to support Noxus (a very small group), or who figure they're happy to let their enemies fight it out. Let Sevika, Scar and the Jinxers about this.

Hell, let Sevika show up at all after episode 4! Isha was important to her too! Have her and Jinx suggest building a statue for her, like Silco did for Vander, as another notch to help Jinx stand upright.

When Jayce and Mel come back, have them reckon with what Caitlyn did to their city, and have them take some time to forge the place back together.

Let Zaun negotiate with Piltover for their aid! Give them more than just one seat on the council amongst people who already look down on them (although I think Sevika is canny enough to get the most out of it, it's a real consolation price for a group of people willing to abandon their own homies to rally to the defense of yours), and make Ekko a prominent voice here.

Warwick in episode 9 didn't really do much for me. Any of the emotional beats there were already covered in episode 6. Not sure what to do with him instead, though. Maybe make Vi and Jinx protect others from him more explicitly?

By emphasising the Piltover/Zaun conflict more, you can have Vi be more conflicted about where she falls on that divide.

Ambessa also lobbies to get Zaun on board, maybe pulls some Renni shenanigans again. Actually get me invested in that grand climax.

Same goes for Viktor, honestly. Maybe give his conversation with Mel and Jayce a bit more weight. His turn to Ambessa and Singed's side is a bit abrupt (and also very much caused by Jayce killing him, so his moral high ground in that conversation is a bit weird).

Don't make Jayce talk shit about Viktor's terminal illness, goddamnit. Heimerdinger's whole arc was about how corrosive that attitude was, and the conclusion of it was that you can't sit down on your laurels because change will keep happening with or without you. I think that makes for a much more compelling argument against Viktor's philosophy at this point.

No notes on Singed. What a ledge.

Overall, I think the show needed a bit more breathing room to build up to the level the climax was operating on. It left a bit too much of what I cared about behind to get there, and adding an act could've been a way to alleviate some of that.

[moonlight-prose]

Saw that you reblogged these sentences and said you would take them for Joel and I just had to slide in here. Wanted to give you a few options of things I saw were interesting from both parts of the list. Hopefully one of the sentences inspires you and feel free to ignore if they don’t lol. Thank you for considering at all!

You deserve better than what you’ve got. - Or - You’re lucky you got away with a scratch.

How do you make the pain go away? - Or - Can you look at me, please?

alone and forsaken

a/n: forgive me for the late late late response to this old request. i kept it cause i knew the joel inspo would eventually hit me again one day and well the time has come. one episode into s2 and i'm already back in the pit for this man. i chose two out of the four you sent and i think it's become quite a beautiful angsty story. this is with a joel that takes place pre season one but not by much. i hope you enjoy darling!

summary: trapped in a house barely held together at the seams you and joel find yourselves thinking about the past, the future, and what led to this point in time.

word count: 1.3k+

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: not explicit, angst yet again because i can't be stopped, grief + ptsd, conversations about death, love confessions, philosophical talks about humanity, hope.

The world was silent.

Nature's song once existed in a bountiful harmony—filling the once warm spring air with echoes of a winter come and gone. You could remember the days where flowers bloomed without a care in the world and animals began to wander out of their safe environments. Deer were a common sighting in your hometown; more than humanity could possibly think up.

Now everything resembled a bleak afterthought. Barren of humans, empty of what once thrived in places as small as this.

You supposed it was only time that nature grew weary of the toxic tendencies of humanity. Where she offered life, they handed over decay. An endless cycle of take that wound up eating itself on the final page.

Humanity was the illness spread upon this earth. A threat to the existence of peace. Nature merely found a cure.

"This is all I could find," he mumbled, handing you an open can of cold beans.

You grimaced, but knew that finding anything better might leave the both of you searching for hours more. If that happened then starvation would be the only real winner in this all out war. And you weren't about to go down swinging against something that lethal. So you took the can with a tight lipped smile, shoveling a mouthful into you in the hopes it might turn into something tastier.

"How long until we're out of here," you muttered around the food.

Joel grinned—eyes dull and darkened by fatigue. "Day or two. Till the storm lets up some."

Rain pounded against the brittle roof of this old fucking house. You were almost certain it would give in eventually—collapse right over your bodies. Maybe it should have. Maybe you and Joel would be better off if the house were the one to decide your fates—nature of course playing her part.

At least that way you wouldn't have to worry about turning into one of them.

Even in the safety of this one story home you could hear the screech of something inhuman; the cure to nature's ailment named humanity. They were agitated by the storm. Angry they couldn't find people as easy as before, and they made themselves known.

You began to wonder if you would ever get used to their existence. That one day might pass where you finally came to a place of acceptance. Yet the thought alone was harder to swallow than the shitty food you currently fought to keep down.

More often than not you found yourself wondering if they felt pain the way you or Joel did—your mind playing tricks of guilt and empathy for creatures too far gone from the touch of humanity. Did they understand the concept of loneliness? Trapped within their own minds as the fungus wreaked havoc on their bodies. Or were they soulless? Lifeless.

There were days you pondered the same about yourself—too afraid to breach that locked door in your mind. The one that held whispers of darkness far greater than you could handle. Nightmares you did your best to put out, raging against a cracked and broken amount of hope.

"Do you ever think about what they feel?" The leak in the center of the house splattered muddy water along your hand. A cold chill traveled up nerves you believed were already shot years prior.

Joel's answer was unromantic—monotone. "They're dead."

"But are they really?"

He cleared his throat, setting the can down on the floor beside his gun. "If they aren't. They probably wish they were."

"To be locked in your own body and not have the ability to control it." Your teeth dug into your lip, biting down hard enough to split the skin. "I'd never wish that on anyone."

“I think we’re past wishin’ for things.”

He had a point. As much as you didn’t like what it meant, you understood the callous sentiment born from years of anger. This was the way of things now. A reality perfumed with the scent of rotting flesh and marred by vines of cordyceps that ravaged whatever breathed and spoke. Humanity was buried in a shallow grave. Cities leveled, homes left behind like old photographs someone might one day happen upon.

In the months of traveling with Joel you came to understand what exactly the world lost. You used to be a cynic, entirely submersed in the belief that humans were the first step in destruction—a generation that held nothing but contempt for all that came before. Until the world’s slate was wiped clean. And love, empathy, hope disappeared from the very map of a world you could no longer recognize.

“My friend used to host a barbecue every summer,” you said, watching the rain through the shattered window.

“That right?”

Nodding, you forced yourself to swallow another mouthful of beans. “They couldn’t cook for shit. Barely even liked their apartment being used for parties, but they were the only one that managed to get their own place.” You could practically smell the charred burgers, cold beers and haphazardly made margaritas melting in the east coast heat. “We were at the very last one of the year when the outbreak happened.”

Joel’s spine went rigid, silence swallowing even the pattering echo of rainfall. The chaos and horror isn’t what you remembered the most of that night. No, you pushed those memories down years ago—fearful that they might succeed in driving you mad. You recalled the laughter. The soft strum of a friend’s guitar and rasp of his voice as he sang beneath whatever stars you could catch glimpses of. You could picture their bodies lounging on chairs, lips twisted into smiles that burned you from the inside.

They were happy before it happened. Lost in the bliss of a found family.

“You deserve better than what you’ve got,” he muttered, discarding his can to the side.

His words jarred you, stomach twisting as he mourned your life despite never knowing your friends. But that was the thing about Joel Miller. He had a family too. He once had friends, a life he’d return to in an instant if given the chance. Neither of you would choose the other if you met any other way; too immersed in what you had to wonder what could have been.

But you wanted him in this life. You gave up surviving alone before he came into your life—intent on greeting death with open arms and hearing that laughter one final time.

“Joel.” Nudging him with your foot you finally caught a glimpse at those brown bloodshot eyes you’d grown to admire. They were glossed over with the exhaustion of going days without sleep, each of you fighting to find a space you could rest for some time. Yet their beauty never failed to leave you breathless. “You are exactly what I deserve in this life. You saved me.”

“You saved yourself darlin’.”

“No I didn’t.” He sighed, watching the rain splatter along mud coated wood floors. “I just got lucky at the right fuckin’ time.”

“Can you look at me, please?”

Reluctantly he found your gaze, fingers curled into a fist atop his thigh. “We don’t get much happiness in this world. Probably won’t ever get it again. But I’m happy I found you Joel. Out of all the ways life could have gone in this hell, finding you has been the best outcome.”

“We might not even make it to Boston,” he muttered despite the way his lips quirked. “What then?”

“Then I’d say it’s a pretty good way to go. Dying with someone I love.”

Disbelief colored his face, hand flat and loose against denim that had seen better days. “Yeah.” He exhaled long and slow—satisfaction spilling into the air. Neither of you wanted to be the first to say it, words meant for final moments and days where humanity lingered in the air, but you couldn’t take it back now. “A hell of a way to die.”

You smiled, settling against the wall. “A good way to die.”

[tryandbehappy]

Curious your thoughts on this. I just rewatched S2 ep4 when June is in a dissociative state after the family that helped her was punished. Nick finds her in the kitchen burning the jezebel letters and she says "im not supposed to have these" and goes back to her room. Nicks obviously concerned but she leaves the letters and he takes them. I never realized before that he takes them to Canada and gives them to Luke without June asking. He tells Luke that June gave them to him but she never asked him to do that. How are the writers trying to spin that Nick never did anything to go against gilead?! He took out the worst of the commanders as an eye, took the letters to Canada which was helping June fulfill that mission but she never asked him to!! Also in S2 he is a low level driver and Fred has to pull strings to get him a wife which was punishment for him caring about June. Then again made a commander and sent to Chicago as punishment. I'm so mad at them for trying to take away from what Nick did and make him a villian.

This breakdown is absolutely spot on and I fully agree.

Nick didn’t smuggle out the letters because June asked him. She couldn’t. She was barely functioning after what happened to the family that helped her. He saw her like that, dissociated, broken and he still knew exactly what to do. He took the letters and got them to Canada on his own, because he understood how important they were. That was his initiative, not hers. It was dangerous as fuck!!

And when he did it, he didn’t make a show of it. He gave Luke the recognition, even though Nick risked everything to make it happen. (When he told June that Luke was the one who made the letters public. Not himself)

That’s a man who wasn’t in it for praise, or even just for love. He did it because it was the right thing to do. Because he had a conscience. Because he believed in something.

And you could see how much it mattered to him. The fear when Eden read the letters, he panicked. Not for himself, but because of what might happen to those women’s voices. You could see it in the way he held the letters later, cradled them like something sacred. Because that’s what they were, the cries of women who had been enslaved. That pile of paper could tear down Gilead. And he knew it. (And it was important for him to get them out as we see a bit later)

And now they expect us to believe he’s a villain, just because he’s wearing a commander’s uniform?

And now he’s the scapegoat so that everyone else can look like a hero?

No. Nick was the real hero. By action. By what he was willing to risk, and by what he never asked for back.

And pretending none of that happened? That’s a disgrace.

[warblogs17282]

So, what relationship does Stella and Octavia have with each other exactly?

Short Answer: Evidence points to them having a really bad dynamic with each other.

Long Answer:

Let's just quickly address the fact that we've never seen Stella and Octavia actually interact with each other on screen yet. Yes, I'm aware of this, but I'm making this post thinking about what we actually know so far, and what I've gathered points to Stella not caring about Octavia. To be honest, I think the lack of elaboration on their relationship has been incredibly purposeful, with the purpose being to paint the image of what their relationship actually looks like in a sense.

Evidence 1: Stolas' Assassination Plot.

We know Stella wants Stolas killed, and at no point has Stella actually considered how Stolas' assassination would make Octavia feel, which is best evidenced by the time she screamed she wanted Stolas dead right in front of Octavia (the fact Octavia had headphones on is entirely irrelevant to the point I'm making),

and the conversation with Andrealphus in s2 e4, where both of them also did not give any fucks about how the assassination would make Octavia feel. (I'll get back to this point later on)

Evidence 2: Stella being abusive to Stolas in front of Octavia.

What this proves is that Stella is abusive towards Octavia. Many reputable sources say that what Stella is doing here is child abuse, which I'd like to mention, that it can negatively impact the child in a number of different ways, and I highly advise you check out the Barnardo's page about it if you want to learn more.

Evidence 3: "You leave with Via on weekends."

Notice how this never gets expanded on at all? It's just that, there's no specifics to it or anything, which in my eyes, potentially also points to the fact that Stella doesn't care for Octavia, because it could tell us that there's no attempt made from Stella to actually bond with Octavia, which would explain why that statement is never expanded upon. Plus, Stella literally sidetracks that statement from Stolas with "I like tormenting you. I want to keep reminding you of what you did."

Evidence 4: The beginning of s1 e2.

"Mmph. Via's calling us, Stella."

"You get up."

Notice how Stella is not concerned about the fact that Octavia is actively calling her out, and also when Octavia is clearly upset from the tone of her voice. Which shows us just how little Stella actually cared about Octavia, even when she was just a young child.

Evidence 5: The s2 e4 conversation.

"Because, my dear sister, you've already produced an heir; when he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it'll all pass to.... Via."

"If you kill him, you would…."

"Laugh? Ha-"

Notice how Stella does not even pay Andrealphus any attention whatsoever when he brings up the fact that all of Stolas' stuff will go to Octavia. This alone shows just how much Stella is self-centered within her own desires, which in this specific case, was to have Stolas dead, as shown by the follow up line "Laugh? Ha-".

Which just further shows that Stella is only interested in what she wants, not taking how Octavia would feel about the assassination into consideration yet again, with that and the obvious display of her being self-centered in this scene, both of which showing further that Stella doesn't care about Octavia.

Evidence 6: "What? No! I'm not turning her against you--"

Let's be real here, Stella has already started screaming at Stolas over petty shit, so I highly doubt that Stella said this out of actual concern that he's turning Octavia against her, but instead, she said that to use it as a weaponized statement. Or you could also say that she's weaponizing that sentiment against Stolas.

Evidence 7: "I'm glad one egg fell out of me"

It's always irked me about the fact that Stella refers to Octavia as "an egg" here. Like instead of any other possible way she could possibly phrase that statement, she chooses the one that refers to Octavia as "an egg", instead of her actual name or even daughter for that matter. Which also could point to Stella not really caring about Octavia.

Evidence 8: The paintings.

The Loo Loo Land picture. Just compare Stolas' and Stella's faces in that painting, Stolas looks actually happy in it, most likely because of Octavia, while Stella on the other hand? Her smile looks quite forced to me, it's barely even there, which tells me that Stella doesn't even want to be at the family outing to Loo Loo Land, which further shows how little she actually cares for Octavia.

And if I recall correctly, that's the only picture we see both Stella and Octavia in, as shown by the other paintings where there's only Stolas and Octavia present, which combined with the forced smile in the Loo Loo Land painting, further shows us how little Stella cares for Octavia.

In conclusion: I have shown multiple clues and pieces of evidence that show that Stella most likely doesn't genuinely care for Octavia, with s2 e4 really showing how self-centered Stella is, and just how much she only cares for her own self-interests. While future episodes will most likely show us more about Stella's and Octavia's relationship, the evidence and clues within the show appear to point to the fact that Stella does not genuinely care for Octavia.

[cringefailvox]

my ultimate fantasy for hazbin s2 is a reveal of something in alastor's past that he can't explain away or justify, something genuinely morally reprehensible, and he and the other residents of the hotel have to navigate around each other with the renewed sense of "right, he's actually a bad guy."

i feel like the show and the fandom both sometimes forget that alastor is actually legitimately morally corrupt because he's superficially nice and abides by certain rules and social mores. but he like, does murder people. that's a real thing that he does.

i feel like he can get woobified a little and portrayed as like, a byronic hero who's always actually in the right but judged and misunderstood. there's an element of truth to that, but he's mostly a selfish and cruel person who does awful things because he doesn't care.

it would be personally EXTREMELY satisfying to see him face real consequences for the way he treats people, especially from the hotel that he seems to have grown to care about. fuck that deer UP!!!

REAL AND TRUE. it's always interesting to me the way murder is evaluated in fandom next to like, sexual assault, as being the more redeemable crime somehow, which i think is quite evident in the way people talk about alastor vs valentino -- neither of these characters is remorseful or even particularly in a hurry to justify the horrendous things they do, and yet i've noticed a general tendency towards letting alastor off the hook for the serial killing but not budging on the line that val is irredeemable. and like, ofc with the caveat that this is fiction and neither of them are real, but it's interesting sometimes how people measure crimes with a value system predicated on distance, where serial killers are so removed from the average person that it's nearly outlandish, definitely a spectacle, but sexual assault is real and immediate in a way that hits people harder. there's also the matter that alastor is part of the main cast and val is a secondary antagonist -- but anyway this is getting off topic from what you were asking

i absolutely agree that i'm excited to see the show really begin to grapple with the ethics of the main cast, esp alastor, because it's like. we know he's a terrible person. the gang knows he's a terrible person. but it really comes back to the bit in episode five, when lucifer (rightly, in this case, but unhelpfully) points out that alastor represents all the worst things about sinners, that he epitomizes everything lucifer loathes about hell, and charlie's response pivots neatly away from that ethical problem: "he's defending this hotel. it might be a bit more sadistic than i'd hoped, but he's doing it for me." alastor can be as morally bankrupt as he wants so long as it's in the service of a cause that charlie perceives as good

this actually makes perfect sense for charlie's character and it's sooo fascinating. she doesn't actually seem to care about how horrific everyone in hell behaves all the time -- what she cares about is those people dying en masse without any value judgment from heaven, she's affronted that it's all numbers to them, she really seems like she's only spearheading this redemption program because she thinks it'll bring down overpopulation and stop heaven, not because she was genuinely bothered by the rampant sin before. "happy day in hell" is all about how much she loves hell and keeps putting an optimistic spin on all the property damage and cannibalism and public bdsm. she doesn't care about alastor being evil because he's not her redemption poster child, but she DOES care about angel getting into turf wars and doing drugs in the hotel because it reflects badly on her. girl i need to see your personal ethics and values get cracked the fuck open so bad

[marys2ndson]

hunting fucking sucks: a fic rec list

I just love when their lives suck not because they’re vessels for archangels or whatever, but just because their job is the worst. thankless, dangerous, morally ambiguous, leaving them injured and dirty and bone-tired. i <3 whump

Due East by sowell (4,700 words)

Just hunts and angst and them, together. Love the characterization. 

“I think I like you injured. Less bitchy,” Dean says with a smile, and Sam blinks at him. / “What?” / “You think I haven’t noticed you sulking for two days straight?”

Hard to Come By by sevenfists (1,700 words)

Hunting, driving around, sleeping in shitty motels. Making difficult choices, dealing with hard realities. 

"You don't smoke," Sam says, and Dean says, "What's it look like I'm doing?" The cigarette tastes like ass. He smokes it anyway, tapping the ash out the open window. It's August. Sam turns up the air conditioning. Dean turns it back down.

Below Breath by kalliel (3,100 words)

Season 2, case fic. Love the complete lack of exposition. You’re just thrown into it on Dean’s terms, and everything is complicated and difficult and unknown. 

Dude, he says, and shoves you in the back with his shotgun. You resist the urge to turn around and smack him with it. Or kiss him, all teeth. See how much he’s paying attention then. 

Every Rhyme Without Reason by kalliel (44,800 words) 

Season 1, case fic, Sam POV. Fascinating and atmospheric and a tough read bc Sam’s life is very uphill at this point, but he’s so present, wrestling and grappling with it. Love him. <3

Maybe they killed that rawhead, released that reaper, slashed that bax'aan's throat. Maybe they'll kill this thing in Rime. But this is what's gonna get them: They have $127.34, four more nights, half a tank of gas, and some cold leftovers to their name. Out here, there's nowhere to go but down; and even then, they're going to have to limp.

With Gravy by kalliel (3,700 words)

Vague season 2. A hunt gone wrong. Slim chances of survival, complete darkness, pain, and heroism. 

The tunnel stretches on and on, and all Dean hears is their footsteps getting heavier, sloppier. One kid cries. The woman cries. The man's leg doesn't quite clear some jutting rocks, and he weeps.

The Real Thing by ameliacareful (14,200 words)

Jensen wakes up in a motel room in Dean’s place. So outsider POV. That thing about the third trial, about Tom and Shep… Kill me. 

“Are you doing that on purpose?” / “What?” / “Sounding like him?” / “A little. Does it work?” Jensen asked. / Sam did that funny little flicker of a smile/grimace that Jared only did as Sam. “Yeah, it does.” His gaze hardened. “Don’t do it again.” / Sam was suddenly very big. Armed. / “Gotcha,” Jensen said.

Catch Your Death by road_rhythm (22,300 words)

They work a ghost hunt while Sam’s sick. This fucks severely! All their petty fights and their biases and bickering really get the spotlight they deserve, as well as the fact that they just really love and care about each other. Feels exactly like a really good ep of s2. And takes up some of the interesting Sam issues as well.

It was this, every time. Sam lashed out and Dean came back with impenetrable patience and washcloths and medicine and touch and one day it would be his life. And there was no answering back to that.

my habit of breaking hearts as soon as i have them by acccording2thelore (6,600 words)

WARNING: major character death. 

A hunt gone wrong. Staggering grief and horror mixed with intimacy and connection. <3 

If he can just get to Garth, he can send up some of his people and help carry Sam to the base of the mountain. Dean won’t make it that far.

the blurriness of being alive by hathfrozen (3,500 words)

WARNING: major character death. 

Sam dies of an infection.

“They don’t get to grieve for him,” Dean tells Miracle when he decides he isn’t calling anybody to tell them. “They ain’t allowed. They don’t get it.” Dean’s had the worst things in the known universe leeching off of him, trying to turn him into evil, but this is the most rotten, meanest he’s ever felt. He doesn’t fucking care.

A Lifetime or Two by nigeltde (18,400 words)

They work a case with their mom; Sam gets banged up; they try something new. This fic feels so real and lived in. The familiarity between Sam and Dean, the way Sam feels left out, Sam’s quiet loneliness and enduring hope, Dean’s desperate affection. <3

Sam would say lucky it was just broken bones. Lucky nothing else cut too deep. Lucky his ear was intact. Dean gets lost, strung out, trying to calculate: if Sam had been concussed, would that still be good luck? If he’d lost the finger, should Dean be thankful? Where does it end, the tallying? Sam thrown through glass, dragged across pavement, tossed into a car, stitched up in this cramped doll’s house of a room, having to bluntly endure; this is what he’s supposed to be grateful for?

Settle Down My Shivered Bones by abitingsmile (4,800 words)

WARNING: disordered eating, food insecurity, and child neglect. 

Pre-series. John, unreliable and off hunting somewhere, and Sam and Dean, making it work with too little cash and too little food. Love this exact flavor of codependency, not sweet, but hard-earned and for survival. 

Sam still bickered with him about school and television and laundry, but not about food. Hell, he practically waited for Dean to give him permission to eat, because that way they knew there’d be enough. John or no, this was something incredibly important they could control, they could handle. John simply wasn’t in the loop anymore.

[virginiaisforvampires]

I don't think Rolin cares at all if some idiots on twitter lack basic media literacy. It's twitter. Sam said that Rolin is a "freakishly brilliant" writer and storyteller, and that he's bold enough to let the audience be upset or uncertain until more information is revealed. I think Sam has absolutely been right about some of the things he's talked about (like Lestat saying "I didn't want this"), but I think Rolin is right about a lot of stuff too.

It kind of reminds me of something Mike Nichols once said--that he wanted actors who had their own ideas and viewpoints and brought that into the work, because if they just did what he told them, then it was as if he'd hired an architect to build something for him and the architect was just like sure, whatever you want to do is fine (because then he'd feel like, so why did I hire you if you're not going to bring your own ideas?).

And Rolin talking about things like actively working with Sam and Jacob to get the reunion scene to where it needed to be, and Sam saying that Rolin gave them the gift of knowing something that he didn't know about their characters---I love that collaboration and respect. I don't love every single choice Rolin and Hannah have made, but I think a lot of what they've done is pretty incredible. The show wouldn't be what it is without Sam and Jacob and what they bring to the characters, including pushing for things they want or feel are right, but I think it's the writers AND the actors who are making this magic.

You do have a point, but I'm not just talking about the idiots on Twitter.

I would implore you to look through my "rolin jones" tag and "hannah moscovitch" tag, because 1x05 is just one of the many writing blunders and just one example of Rolin and Co. demonstrating a fundamental lack of understanding of these characters and their arcs and the main themes with which Anne grappled.

Rolin turned a book about grief and existential crisis into a love triangle soap opera that basically gutted what the main theme was supposed to be about — Claudia aka Michele Rice — and he took a brilliant character in Lestat and turned him into the monster he always feared he was but never truly was, which is totally erasing the entire tenet to Lestat's character.

The writers are wonderful when they get things right. However, when they fuck up? They fuck up massively and in ways that have negative repercussions for the entirety of the book arcs moving forward.

For example, Louis' and Lestat's grief over Claudia doesn't land like it should've landed for the simple fact they are now the two selfish parents who threw her to the wolves to save each other, and that was never the case in the books.

You can admire Rolin and Co. for all the good they've done. I do agree Rolin is technically a brilliant writer and, as much as it pains me to admit, Hannah is technically a good writer as well. She wrote 2x05, and it's probably my favorite episode of S2 and one of my top episodes overall.

However, that doesn't erase the fact they've also massively fucked up where Lestat, Claudia, Loumandstat, and the overall book arcs are concerned.

And I will say this. I can respect the fact Rolin, as much as some of his creative choices kill me, is an unhinged sicko and totally owns what he does. I think he and I could share a good-natured laugh about the show's issues, because he delights in pissing people off, and I do respect the real ones who own their shit whether I agree with them or not. 😅

Like I said to the anon above, when he gets it right, he gets it really right. Just look at how he knows those raw emotions are what the show needs i.e. not allowing Sam to re-record some of the most gut-wrenching lines.

All I'm saying is he doesn't get the book arcs or get why it was a bad idea to depict Lestat as the complete antithesis of who he actually is or why it was a bad idea to make Claudia's death all about Armand's scorned ex-lover revenge plot.

Can someone please find this Rolin interview?!

He said it back during some of the earlier interviews. Circa 2022-2023. I (very angrily) discussed it at the time, but for the life of me cannot find the post now.

[hope-luvs-hrtstppr]

some random tlou hbo s1 + s2 opinions! (spoilers ahead)

- i don’t think the vaccine would have worked. (yes, ik what neil said. i maintain unmoved lol) vaccines require trials and multiple attempts, the chances it would work on their first go at it are lowwww. though i don’t think whether or not the vaccine would have worked is relevant to joel’s decision or how everything turned out

- dina being with joel on his last day raised the stakes for him. he had to comply to abby to ensure dina’s safety when she woke up. or at least that’s where i imagine his mind went. his protective instincts towards her can also be related to the “it’s like she’s my kid, but she’s not” line in joel’s therapy session.

- this isn’t really relevant but i love bella ramsey so much

- the dellie tent scene felt really real to me. as a teenage lesbian myself, the sleepovers with that one friend where you’re lying a few inches away from each other, and you know that you both want to inch closer, but neither of you do. asking questions that test the boundaries of friendship, and trying to get an idea of where you stand based on their reaction. making jokes about the thought of you two being together to try and mask the truth behind them. lying awake in the darkness after saying goodnight knowing that there is still so much left to say to each other, but keeping quiet. because this girl means so much to you. and romantic feelings fuck up friendships. and you’d rather lay those few inches away from her than not lay next to her at all.

- the most devastating episode in season one for me was episode five, with henry and sam. devastating may be an understatement (i was SOBBING in my mother’s arms). i am the youngest child and have a complex relationship with my siblings, so sibling relationships always hit me in a tender place, which could explain my reaction. but even beyond that, henry and sam’s story specifically is so fucking tragic. henry: who’s sole purpose is to protect his little brother, who an already cruel world (the pandemic as a whole, plus a brutal and oppressive FEDRA-run kansas city) has been especially cruel to (sam getting leukemia). and sam: a little boy who looks up to his brother so damn much, and considers him a super hero- which the show communicates through his drawings of ‘super sam’. but henry sees himself as a villain, because of the lengths he’s gone in order to protect sam (reporting cathleen’s brother). HE FEELS LIKE A VILLAIN FOR BEING SAM’S HERO. and then GET THIS. he can’t save sam. because the cruel world got to him, despite everything he had done to protect him from it. and when sam turns, henry has to decide between being the hero and villain again. does he trade another life for sam’s, knowing that sam is already doomed? trade someone he has grown close to? someone he knows is so deeply loved? he hesitates, but he ends up killing his infected little brother. because, at his core, he’s a protector (a superhero, if you will). and it’s what sam would have wanted. but to henry, saving ellie was another act of villainy. he killed the only person he cares about in this world, and this settles it. he’s the bad guy. HE DIED THINKING HE WAS THE FUCKING BAD GUY. WHEN ALL HIS LIFE HE HAD ONLY EVER BEEN SAM’S HERO. *explodes*

- when ellie sings “it’s no better to be safe than sorry” to dina during take on me, i started tearing up. because that’s where dina’s at! she’s too scared to admit her feelings ellie and accept her own queerness, so she tries to ignore it. but later that episode, she thinks ellie’s going to die, and she never got to tell her how she felt. LIKE. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?? IT’S NO BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY!!!!!!

- bella ramsey.

- gail isn’t supposed to be a good therapist. she takes out her own issues on her clients, she drinks during session, she thinks some people “can’t be saved.” but like, i fear that’s the point? she’s not supposed to be professional. she is giving therapy during a fucking apocalypse and gets paid in weed. i agree with the critique of her character regarding her purpose in the story being solely to convey joel and ellie’s experience while they aren’t talking to each other, and how it feels a little like a shortcut writing wise. but i don’t agree that her being a bad therapist is a testament to her having bad character design. characters have flaws, that is not a flaw in their composition. gail is meant to be a shitty therapist, but she’s the only therapist jackson has.

- i think that the sexualization of game ellie has altered this fandoms perception of her character as a whole. don’t get me wrong, game ellie is fucking hot. and people should write about whatever they wanna write about. my issue is when people put her on this untouchable pedestal, and then come at show ellie for not acting in whatever way their projected fantasy version of ellie acts. yes, show ellie and game ellie differ personality wise in some places. but they also overlap a hell of a lot. and seeing people criticize show ellie for every little thing just makes me question how grounded their perception of ellie as a character is.

- i didn’t think they made jessie unlikable. his qualms were all based. ellie isn’t thinking of what’s best for others, or even herself. she wants to stay in a war zone to go on a wild goose chase fueled by vengeance and grief. she’s not thinking of her injured and pregnant girlfriend. or her isolated uncle that’s fighting for his life. or her best friend who is a father-to-be. she’s thinking of joel. and that’s it. i think that young and bella did a great job portraying these two friends who care a lot about each other, but have fundamentally different core values and motivations.

- BELLA RAMSEY!!!!

- i think season two would have benefitted from being a few episodes longer. it’s such an ambitious season based off of such rich source material. i think that there is a way to have these scenes introducing the wlf and seraphites without taking away from ellie’s storyline. there’s so much complexity jam packed into such a limited time frame. entire messages and central themes are reduced to singular interactions at times. idk, maybe i just selfishly want more show to watch. maybe it’s a combination of the both.

[zo1nkss]

I've been on my "Babe Defense Squad" bullshit for the whole week atp but I wanna take a minute and earnestly talk about Babe's flaws in a way thats not borderline homophobic or outright victim blaming, because I see WAY too much of that in this fandom. I wanna talk about it because I actually love that he's an imperfect, flawed human being with significant trauma that informs so much of his daily life.

1. Terrible Communication

Let's be real okay. Babe is NOT good at talking about his feelings. He's emotionally constipated and has almost no patience for serious conversation. Instead he jumps to conclusions and makes snap decisions based on Vibes, and it has classically Not Worked Out for him. He's just lucky Charlie is stubborn and refuses to let him get away that easily, because Babe's #1 coping slill is aggressively pushing people away.

I was actually surprised and highly impressed to see how much he had improved on that in s2. Even when he wasn't admitting the whole truth to Charlie, he wasn't quite as resistent or bothered by the questions as he would have been in s1. He just genuinely doesn't see Willy as someone who matters whatsoever so he doesn't see a reason to bring it up to Charlie, even when prompted.

Still needs work because he definitely should have been honest about that because the secrecy is what's going to sow doubt in Charlie's heart, but ik Babe's heart is in a good place he just needs to be more honest.

2. Self-absorbed

Let's be really real for a moment. I don't think any of us liked hearing him joke about leaving Charlie for Willy. Many of us know and understand he was just trying to get a rise out of him, because he likes when Charlie is possessive. This is now a well-known fact among Babe fans. But it still hurts knowing Charlie is genuinely insecure about Babe finding someone more interesting, even if we and Babe all know that's never going to happen. It sucks that he wasn't able to recognize the hurt in Charlie's eyes because it was kind of obvious to me.

But that just speaks to his lack of awareness of other people's feelings and needs. Because the moment Charlie admitted how insecure he was feeling, Babe entirely changed his tune. No more joking about that, and he sincerely assured him that no one would ever compare to how much Babe loves him. It's not that he doesn't care, he's just fucking clueless and a little bit of a stupid horndog.

Admittedly, I think a part of that is insecurities Babe is afraid to admit to, as well. I think part of why he loves when Charlie is posessive is because he feels the distance in their relationship and he just wants proof that Charlie still wants him, still loves him, and would still fight to defend their relationship.

I think they're both struggling with the way things are between them and they both have unique ways of showing it. Babe riles Charlie up because it reminds him that Charlie is still invested in him, and isn't going to disappesr even if they don't spend as much time together now. Meanwhile Charlie just wants to be told he matters and holds value in Babe's life, and no matter how little or much they see of each other Babe will never stray or find solace in another man.

Different love languages, they just need to find a healthy balance that works for them both.

3. Over-confident

I think he very easily forgets that Charlie is just a guy who showed up and found himself in an extreme bout of luck. He wasn't confident and sure of himself when they met, he was simply determined. But that determination can easily be mistaken for self-confidence because he wore it with pride. Babe is a little too confident that the people around him know how he feels without having to express himself. He thinks they can read his mind a little bit and that his actions don't speak louder than his words.

And yes his actions have largely said "I only have eyes for Charlie", but Charlie hasn't been present to witness any of that. He's getting bits and pieces of the story as Babe chooses to reveal them, and it's left him with a lot of uncertainty and insecurity about Babe's true feelings. But thats mostly just because Babe feels confident that he's been clear about his feelings, when really he just hasn't.

He puts too much faith in his own capabilities as well. Thats part of why Willy has been able to outdo him so easily. He refuses to entertain the possibility of failure, and blames outside circumstances rather than addressing his own short-comings. That attitude is present in his relationship, but to a much lesser degree.

4. Extremly dismissive

If a problem effects him directly, he doesn't see it as a problem but an inconvenience. He doesn't address the Willy situation head-on because he just sees him as an annoying fan (until he starts to suspect him working for Tony). He doesn't take the time to study his lost race to find out what he did wrong because he thinks of it as a fluke. I feel like that in particular is going to come back to bite him and it's not going to be pleasent for him.

He sees his relationship strain with Charlie as a mild misunderstanding that can largely be ignored until it blows up in his face, and we all know it's going to do exactly that.

He just doesn't take things as seriously as he should, and it keeps leading to all these small hiccups that are going to become bigger speed-bumps the more he pushes them aside.

All this to say,

Babe is in for a rude awakening in the coming episodes. I love him but he is in desperate need of a little perspective, and I think facing the reality that Charlie is willing to walk away if Babe doesn't treat him with the care and respect he deserves is going to shift his priorities significantly. I honestly can't wait for him to have that fact kind of dropped on him because he really needs to understand that he can't just take Charlie for granted. Unless he shows him how much he means to him, things sre just going to continue getting more turbulent between them.

And I know he's capable of realizing this and letting his actions speak for him for once. I'm honestly excited for the upcoming breakup plot, because Charlie got his rude awakening that he can't just lie and hide everything in s1 and now it's Babe's turn. I'm excited for how much he's going to drop the macho act and actually stand by his man. I know Charlie is his whole world and I know he won't just let him walk away that easily.

The character growth that's already happened since s1 is impressive. I have faith Babe will do what's right by Charlie in the end.

Anyway if you made it this far, thanks for reading my errent rambling about blorbo. Stick around for more mildly unhinged character analysis.

[redishsunflowers]

this is all my personal opinion as a somewhat new arcane enjoyer.

act 3 of arcane really ruined it all for me. one of the things that makes me love shows so much is when they make me just feel so so much. and arcane did this so well, especially in s1. act 1 and 2 of s2 also did this very well, tho not even close to as well as s1 in my opinion.

i felt sad about isha's death, but i don't really care about jinx's. this isn't bc i cared more abt isha than jinx, a million percent no, this is bc it didnt feel liek there was any weight to it. we saw a very small clip of vi sobbing then, boom, she's almost fine???? her humming powder's lullaby isn't enough, i need to see her grieve. jinx literally completely gave up because of isha's death. vi wasn't even close to being in the same position as jinx but that was still her sister. her sister whom she tried so hard to protect and get back and finally got her back. it just didn't feel real. and on top of that, everyone thinks she's not actually dead. i wish they showed the "proof" of that later or something because i needed that grieving period from vi.

i felt so strongly about jayvik and their whole dynamic snd ending this season. in act 2 i felt that the writing for caitvi wasn't as good as it was in s1 and act 1 but then it just pissed me off at the end. i kinda liked the fact that they were in a cell when they had sex lol but i feel like it was weird timing and also could be a weird setting. but what rlly got me was the fact they don't fucking talk. they dont talk it out. one of the bjggest reasons i love jayvik is because of their lines too eachother. theyre so devestating and beautiful and thats what we got with caitvi before act 2. i was hoping they would talk about alllll the problems they were having because they were having a lot but, either they didn't or we just didn't see it. the resolution to jayvik was so satisfying because we got to know all of their closing thoughts and emotions. we didn't get to see cait apologizing or vi talking abt jinx and it just felt so emotionless.

im really sad they got rid of all the political stuff. i feel like the first step to doing that was putting vi in an enforcer outfit but with that i thought theyd explore into it and the trauma around it even more. but they didnt at all. they put more of the oppressed into the oppressors outfits and called it "fighting against a greater evil" i think thats a fine thing to happen but not if you throw away the whole conversation about politics you were having beforehand. i felt enger towards the piltover people and council just because they were a part of the oppressive regime. after s1 i felt like they tried to act like those ppl were never in the wrong. they swept it all under the rug.

it really just felt like there wasn't a clear conclusion. what happened to zaun and piltover? the scene of sevika sitting at the table isn't enough (don't get me started on sevika I MISS HER). what happened to the firelights?? everyone says ekko lost everything but like do we know what happened to the tree or to the firelights??? i wanted to see the progress the two cities made and how PILTOVER compensated for their actions.

thats it ig, im rlly trying to be happy abt the ending and to do that i have to think abt jayvik bc theyre the only perfect ending in my eyes and i miss caitvi i miss them