#I CANT SHUT UP EVER I GUESS LMAO

[kitwilsonsass]

I think the thing that's fucking with my brain the most is the separation of fact and fiction because it's like... we spent years being told that Bray was this unkillable character that would always come back no matter what, and now it's just like...I have to remind myself that in reality he was just a normal guy, it's weird.

It's..... yeah.

Okay - I'm gonna get real wordy and wax poetically and I'm so sorry I'm incapable of just talking and crying like a normal person.

It's like a big old layered burrito of denial on all fronts, right?

Because on the surface, we have a guy who was so young, and that seems so hard to get past in itself. We also have the fact that he was prone to injury at points and disappearing for... months at a time. He had been released and came back, what, a year later? In the meantime there were always a billion headlines with his name, speculating the worst, and it never had any accuracy or mattered. We were always *looking forward* to him returning and he always inevitably did because he had half his career ahead of him still and it always seemed like the best was to come.

And we have all these stories of what a beautiful person he was, a side we roughly knew of but never got to really experience ourselves as an audience.

But the person we saw was, as you said, this unkillable character. Literally unkillable. He told us from day one he could never die and would persist 5000 years from now when *we* were all gone. Because he was this personification of all the darkest bits of humanity and American society come to force us to face our sins. We watched him, silly as it was, get burned alive and come back a shambling heap of melting flesh and be completely restored. He was forever, he was a god, you could always find him and you could never, ever kill it.

And like, as fans, we kindle that kid in us that wants to believe in superheros and villains and we grow over the years with them. We go to events, and we sing his songs, and we thrust ourselves into that role ourselves of characters in a way. Like we were always *his*. Even if you didn't love him, you played into that for his entrance at the very least because it was such an undeniable experience. He talked and you, and every babyface, listened - whether you wanted to or not.

I'll never forget that one match on Raw, still early on, when the whole crowd was first singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" and just swaying, and then turning around and chanting "Bray is gonna kill you." Like, I remember Big E was in that match, and I'm pretty sure he was on the receiving end of that chant. He was over. He was beloved. And the whole crowd was singing hymns and calling for his demise for this literal cult leader that would speak in tongues and Exorcist walk across the ring, holding his heart and smiling with some masked sinister joy at it.

It's really really hard to reconcile he's not actually some biblical force of nature looming over everything and everyone even though we know better. And like, that fan in me that's that eternal kid in a way, is just stomping my feet screaming "but he CAN'T die!"

The end of Smackdown did, and still is, really fucking me up because I kept waiting for the lantern to go out. And like, I couldn't decide if I wanted that. Because on one hand, there's a symbolism there, and a kind of sad beauty, in the light going out. He was with us, and he's gone now, and he can rest (ahahaha I'm going to start crying again). The light fades. But ultimately I'm so glad it didn't go out because A.) I don't think I could've fucking handled it and was already bawling, and B.) It shouldn't go out. Or fade. His spirit of everything he brought to that world should stay with us and with every single performer who goes out there every night and throws their hearts into playing these characters.

And like... maybe, even though it's so hard now, maybe eventually there's comfort to be found in the idea that even though the vessel is gone - *He* will, somehow, always be there haunting us. Because "I have a thousand faces and a million names." We might not see him, but we can choose to believe every time a hero is forced to face their fears that he's there behind it - silently whispering into our ears, willing us on to indulge in every second of it.

[thecherrygod]

//

[landoughnut]

You're Dating Him?! - LN4

masterlist - request - patreon

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!fem!reader

summary: lando's been soft launching, but when someone spots the youngest leclerc out with him in Italy, her brothers don't react as they'd hoped

w/c & a/n: smau | I need smau fic ideas, chat gpt is not helping 😭

lando

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, maxfewtrell, maxverstappen1, and 1,832,075 others

lando nice and needed vacation ☀️

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user1 IS THAT A G-GIRL ⁉️⁉️

carlossainz55 aye you bastard answer my messages 😑 ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc looks like little lando norris is all grown up 🥺

maxfewtrell oh he's all grown up all right 😏

lando maxfewtrell you keep your mouth SHUT

charles_leclerc maxfewtrell ????

user2 damn we got lando soft launching before gta 6

user3 she looks oddly familiar but I can't think of how

maxfewtrell 😶

user3 maxfewtrell TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

maxfewtrell user3 🤐

user3 maxfewtrell you BITCH

oscarpiastri looking tan mate 👍 ♥︎ by author

user4 do we think oscar knows who she is

maxverstappen1 why was I not informed about this

lando because you have connections 😄

maxverstappen1 lando so you're assuming I'd tell others ??

lando maxverstappen1 don't play the victim we all know you love to gossip 🙄

user4 lando says max v has connections to her 🤔 does that mean she's part of the f1 world ♥︎ by author

user5 YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING

user6 LANDO LIKING ?????

user7 maybe she's a sister of one of the drivers??

user8 no way that would ever happen lmao

lando

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 2,310,871 others

lando they do say Italy is the country of love 🫶

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user9 soldiers we've lost him 🫡

carlossainz55 🫡😢 ♥︎ by author

user10 carlossainz55 LMAOAOAO its okay carlando lives on forever

oscarpiastri don't do anything I wouldn't do kids 👍

lando I'm literally older than you 🤓 and she's your age...

user11 NEW INFORMATION UNLOCKED ‼️ mystery girl is brunette, 23, knows f1

user12 that unfortunately doesn't really help much

user11 user12 yet...

danielricciardo since when did you take good pictures 🤨 ♥︎ by author

lando she taught me 🤭

user13 THAT SHOULD BE ME HOLDING YOUR HAND 💔

alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous girl ♥︎ by author

maxverstappen1 I recognize that back...

lando SHUT UPPPP

lando maxverstappen1 wait wdym you recognize her back 😾

charles_leclerc hey my sister went to Italy recently too lmao imagine if you ran into her

lando heh that would be pretty funny 😅

maxfewtrell lando can you be anymore obvious mate

yourusername I cant charles is so oblivious 😭

lando

liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 2,310,871 others

lando 🌊🛥️ maxfewtrell

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maxverstappen1 interesting...

oscarpiastri stay hydrated folks 👍

lando yes dad 👍

charles_leclerc looking clean 🔥 ♥︎ by author

arthur_leclerc cute couple 🤝 ♥︎ by author

lando I hope you'll still think that when you realizewho she is

maxfewtrell 🤪

arthur_leclerc maxfewtrell 🤔

carlossainz55 you two better be keeping it PG 👀😏

lando more like MA

charles_leclerc lando be safe use protection ☝️

maxfewtrell charles_leclerc ☠️

charles_leclerc maxfewtrell ?????

alexandrasaintmleux tell her I said hi 🎀 ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc you know who she is??

alexandrasaintmleux charles_leclerc hehe....

user14 I HAVE A SUSPICION ON WHO IT IS BUT Y'ALL WILL CALL ME CRAZY

user15 SPILL

user14 user15 I THINK SHE'S yourusername

user14 hear me out: she's oscars age (who are both 23), she's brunette (like charles lorenzo and arthur), charles told us that his sister recently went to Italy on lando's post of pics from there, she liked this post, AND alexandra (charles' gf) commented on this and the last post

user16 user14 WAITTTTTT I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT

yourusername

liked by lando, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, alexandrasaintmleux, and 2,310,871 others

yourusername cat's out of the bag I guess 🤗 this is my cutesy boyfriend lando 💗

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user17 WHATATATATAAT YOU'RE WHO LANDO HAS BEEN SOFT LAUNCHING ⁉️

maxverstappen1 I KNEW IT ♥︎ by author

user7 I CALLED IT BRO I SAID A DRIVERS SISTER AND YALL DOUBTED

user8 IM SORRY 😣

oscarpiastri finally!! congrats 👍 ♥︎ by author

maxfewtrell NOOOO I WAS HAVING FUN TROLLING

yourusername yeah we know 😄

user18 how did lando pull a leclerc

lando excuse me???

user19 lando she's literally an angel and then you're.... lando

yourusername user19 that's exactly why I love him :)

lando yourusername I love you too baby 🥺 ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc what the FUCK.

charles_leclerc I'LL KILL HIM

charles_leclerc WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU HUGGING THAT THING

lando "THAT THING" ⁉️⁉️

charles_leclerc lando fuck off je ne te parlais pas

lando charles_leclerc I don't understand french 😢

yourusername lando maybe it's for the better my love 🥰

charles_leclerc yourusername "MY LOVE"???? UNBLOCK ME AND ANSWER MY CALLS

alexandrasaintmleux yourusername don't unblock him he's got steam coming out of his ears... and arthur also showed up

maxfewtrell 😎🍿 ♥︎ by author

lando glad you're enjoying this while I'm fearing for my life

charles_leclerc WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS TOUCHING MY BABY SISTER????

arthur_leclerc WHY IS HIS MOUTH ON YOURS IN THAT TWEET

charles_leclerc POURQUOI TU SORS AVEC LUI?? JE VAIS LE POUSSER DANS LES BARRIÈRES SUR LA VOIE, ATTENDS JUSTE

charles_leclerc lando YOU SAID YOU WERE KEEPING IT MA ON THIS VACATION

arthur_leclerc don't worry bro I'm sharpening my axe 🥰

lando arthur_leclerc AXE?!?!!? WHY DO YOU HAVE AN AXE??

maxverstappen1 lando it was nice competing with you

lando ☹️

user20 damn lando I wasn't familiar with your game 😮‍💨

lando everyone being so surprised that she's dating me is quite insulting 😪

leclerc_pascale beautiful ❤️ ♥︎ by author

yourusername I LOVE YOU MAMAN

lando I'm too pretty to die 💔

arthur_leclerc who lied to you??

lando arthur_leclerc your sister I guess ♥︎ by author

lorenzotl lando you're only digging your grave deeper

lorenzotl I'm so happy for you ma petite soeur ❤️ ♥︎ by author

yourusername thank you enzo I love you ❤️

arthur_leclerc lorenzotl YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS ?????

charles_leclerc does he make you happy.

yourusername yes very happy 🥹

charles_leclerc yourusername is he respectful.

yourusername charles_leclerc he couldn't be more of a gentleman

charles_leclerc yourusername I still don't like this 😡 but... I'll give him a chance

lando charles_leclerc THANK YOU PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I SWEAR I'LL BE THE BEST BROTHER IN LAW

arthur_leclerc lando BROTHER IN LAW?????

[whorelaud]

꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 birthday sex ¿¡

pairing bf¡drew starkey x fem¡reader

summary just reader dealing with horny drew while hes away on his birthday

contatins fluff, slightly suggestive, age gap, drew texting like an old man!!

a/n little birthday texting oneshot because i love him so much agh!!

word count 702

ml <3: Where is my happy birthday?

You grinned, perking up when you noticed the message you received from your boyfriend. You typed in a quick response, knowing how sulky he gets when you take long to reply, especially when he’s away. 

You: okay damn straight to the point

You: it hasnt even turned 12 yet :( 

ml <3: Gurl 

You: men used to go to the war

You: now they have sass competitions w/ their girlfriends 😒

ml <3: Lolll 

ml <3: That’s not funny

You: why are you loling then old man

ml <3:: Hey! I’m not that old

You: well

You: u JUST turned 31 

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYYY I LOVE YOU

You: I wish I can see you :( 

ml <3: Hahaha thank youuuu!

ml <3: I love you beautiful 

ml <3: I can't wait to land I miss my pretty girlfriend 

You: stawppp blushes like a slut

ml <3: ??? Excuse me! 

ml <3: Proof? Send picture

You: u nasty

You: are u into that degrading shit

ml <3: I mean

ml <3: I don’t mind it 

ml <3: If you like it then I do and if you don't then it’s okay. Either way I am happy as long as you’re content baby!

You: stop why’d u take that so srsly i was joking

You: is this the perks of turning 31

ml <3: Ugh 🙄

ml <3: You always do this!

You: ugh ure so cute i cant believe ure 21

You: 31* oops

ml <3: Are you shaming me for growing now?

You: no i love u

ml <3: You* 

You: i have a surprise for u

You: i cant wait for u to land 

ml <3: YOU HAVE A SURPRISE FOR ME??? 😇

You: yeahahh 

ml <3: What is it

ml <3: Please show me Please Pleaseeeeee

You: its a surprise i cant :( when u get home i swear!

ml <3: Did you get me condoms? 

You: pardon me!

You: when have i ever gotten you condoms for ur birthday

ml <3: 😏

You: get that skunky face off my screen

ml <3: 😒

You: LMAO 

ml <3: Tell me!

You: i cant baby that will ruin the surprise 

ml <3: Are you like… 

You: ??? am i what

ml <3: did you actually get me condoms

You: why do u keep bringing up the condoms is it on ur birthday wishlist or something

ml <3: It’s not a bad present 

You: DREW. 

ml <3: Can we fuck when I get back

You: oh

ml <3: Ugh I miss you

ml <3: Jus’ thought about fucking you and now I’m horny

You: are u like

ml <3: Am I what baby

You: are u trolling ahaha is this a joke

ml <3: …

You: drew omff

You: why would you say that

ml <3: Sorry baby

ml <3: Fuck I miss your lips

You: which ones

You: i take that back please dont answer

ml <3: Both

ml <3: Can we have birthday sex please

You: hello??? where did that come from

ml <3:: Sorry I’m horny

ml <3: Do you think it feels different from normal sex

You: well if i had to guess it would probably be more thrilling, maybe?

ml <3: We should test out that theory

ml <3: Verify whether it’s true 

You: shush omg

You: u suck

ml <3: My dick

ml <3: can you suck my dick when I’m back

You: omg shut up

ml <3: Is that a no? :( 

You: yeah… ur 31!!! too old 4 me

ml <3: Nah you're right I could be your father

You: k its not that bad

You: it’s only 4 years

ml <3: 6*

ml <3: actually

ml <3: 7 now what the fuck

You: STOPP 

You: ure so cute please marry me 

ml <3: Lol 

ml <3: I’m horny

You: drew omg

ml <3: Should I rub one out in the plane bathroom?

You: 🤦‍♀️

You: just wait until ure back 

ml <3: Wait

ml <3: WAIT AXTUALLY? 

You: WHAT

ml <3: ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS

ml <3: Omg I am so Excited 

You: loser 

ml <3: So, birthday sex yeah?

You: i hate you

ml <3: i love you too baby 

[lesbianedmundo]

Bucks moving in!

Oh baby 🥲

He stress baking!

He’s sleeping at Maddie’s?

Love the continuity with Maddie’s throat and her voice being raspy! Like yeah she had her throat slashed last episode

THIS is Bobby’s mom and brother at the fraudy church?! Talk abt family issues Jesus

Why’s her last name Hutchinson actually? Returned to maiden after Bobby’s dad died?

Oh that’s a seizure

Everyone collapsing with the upbeat background gospel music? ICONIC

yeah that’s gas poisoning lol

“They ever go north?” Chimney I love you

“Her act - I mean her service.” LMAO

Oh Bobby’s face when he saw the poster my baby 😓

“Buck and Eddie.” KILL ME NOW. They’re really hammering it in he’s gone, huh? Also Ravi’s little “I’m used to it” 🤣

And he’s down

Bobby asking after his mom?! I’m crying.

Yeh it’s gas poisoning

GET SOME MASKS ON!!!

lol Bobby saying Buck and Eddie again

Bucks being competeeeeent 😫

MAAM GET OFF THE ROOF

“Eddie - Ravi.” HE DID IT AGAIN IM

CRYING 😭

Buck ascending on the ladder is a craaazy shot lol

“Cap she thinks I’m Satan.” IM CACKLING

NO THE THINGS BREAKING

“I’m gonna need you to reach out your hand.” THE PARALLELS TO DEVIN IN S1 I CANT

Bobby’s mom with the megaphone 😂

“I’m guessing Buck’s Jesus in this metaphor.” LMAO

“Yeah she’s something.” THATS UR MOTHER

the distance between them? He called her Ann? BOBBY BAE what’s this trauma

“She’s my mother.” And everyone’s faces looool

JEES SO CUTE 🥰

He’s been sleeping at Madneys? Buck baby

“I like having a strong man in every room of the house now” Maddie 🥺 im so sorry

Not Maddie telling him to make new friends 🤣

Update on Bathena’s house!!

Bobby changing the subject lol

Athena calling it out!!! Queen shit👑

Oh Ann wasn’t at either of Bobby’s weddings 😞

SHE SSNT CONDOLENCES ON ANN HUTCHINSON MINISTRY STATIONARY AFTER THE APARTMENT FIRE?! ASDFFGHJJKL ANN WHEN I CATCH U

“The lord works in mysterious ways.” ATHENA

Not Buck tryna friend up Ravi 😭

“Are you abt to ask for money?” Ravi my beloved

“I am a fun guy. It took you this long to notice?” We missed u king 👑

“How long’d it take u to warm up to Eddie?” “Like nearly… a whole shift” BAHAHAHA

Not Buck going on a tangent abt Eddie fuckin lmao

Bobby’s brother is here?

The mention of their dad’s firehouse? AHHHHHHH WRITERS WHEN I FIND U

“Deborah was two wives ago.” Ewwwwww

Bobby being so proud of him and Athena and his stepkids 😍

“Mom - she wants to see you.” OH DOES SHE. DOES SHE NOW.

“Dad would be so proud of you.” WHAT. Absolutely diabolical.

Athena in this dress ayyyy 🤭

Not Miss Ann complimenting Athena lmao ur so fucking fake

She basically tricked him into a convo not in public! Red flag 🚩

“Parable of the prodigal son. Is that how u see me?” WHOA

“Someone burned it down.” “Not u I trust.” MAAM. SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN AT ALL TIMES. that is absolutely INSANE work.

Not Athena outing Bobby as not telling her abt his mom 🥲

“He’s always thought im a fraud.” Oh u looking for a fight? Ur looking for a fight? ILL GIVE U A FIGHT

“I think you’re very good at what u do.” At fraud. U mean fraud.

But him not rising to it is sooooo painful.

She’s asking what Athena thinks?

Athena sipping that water she does not wanna hear it

“I give hope for healing.” DISRESPECTFULLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ann bringing up their DAD?! VIA ATHENA? IM ABT TO THROW HANDS.

“Anywhere he could absolve his sins really.” ISTG

Does Athena know abt Bobby’s dad’s alcoholism?

IS BOBBY DEFENDING HIS FATHER?! Oh boy

“I was supposed to just climb into the casket with him?” Okay I have a smidgen 👌 of sympathy for her.

“What, like I did?” I AM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

His trauma from her leaving tho is so valid

“You followed in his footsteps.” WHEN I CATCH YOUUUUUU

Oh. Bobby can’t crucify his dad for what he did because then he’d have to crucify himself. Something something cycles of abuse something something he can’t spit at his own reflection.

“I did think you’re a fraud but not as a preacher, as a mother.” that HURTS

lol mood change to the bar HES TALKING ABT EDDIE?! BUCK 😭

Ravis so sick of him

“I kid u not five minutes later the spares on and we’re driving away.” He’s hyping up his boy. And his boy is two states away.

“Isn’t that illegal?” Ravi I fucking love you

“Eddie wouldn’t do something illegal. Eddie has a silver star.” Buck’s straight up a seven year old showing off his favourite toy 😭

fight club mention oof

“Who even plays quarters anymore?” “Eddie.” of fucking course

Ravi: “Look who I found!”

Me: IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER??

I actually can’t why is he HERE I am going to RIOT. I am a dog ripping a pillow to shreds with their mouth and I WILL come for Tommy fucking Kinard next.

Ravi sitting them opposite each other UR NO LONGER MY FAVOURITE. GET OUT POOKIE.

Oh wait hes just trying to leave LMAAOOOOOO. Nvm babes u saw an out and took it lol

“Some stuff just happened. My sister was abducted.” TOMMY’s FACE LOL. VALID.

“She’s pregnant. They’re not connected.” lol.

“He (Eddie) pretty much stopped speaking to me after u and I broke up.” HE DID?! GUYS

BUCKS FACE 😭

“You know I’ve been fighting the urge to call u for months.” IF U DONT SHUT UR MOUTH. With that stupid ass break up u have NO LEGS TO STAND ON

“I got a new place. You wanna see it?” BUCK. BUCK NO.

FUUUUUUUUUCK. I genuinely threw my laptop across the room. The screen cracked 🥲

“Is this - Eddie’s place?” Tommy is that not weird to you.

Oh hello extended sex lead up scene.

He made breakfast? Kinda cute.

Oh Bucks still into him.

“I know it doesn’t change anything.” “Why not?” I’m Stopping u right there.

Okay wait. R they gonna put ‘em back together?!

“Now that the competition’s out of the way.” Nvm LOL

SAY IT TOMMY. SPIT IT OUT.

Oh we’re talking abt it. We’re taking abt it! Tommy doing his plot device to push forward Buddie thing we begrudgingly stan 🙃

Buck that’s a bit far lol.

Yeah that relationships over. WHAT WAS THAT CONVERSATION.

Oh new call! How r they gonna get in the house?

We found him!

The guy’s refusing to accept he’s got chest pain? Dare I say… Eddie and “I don’t panic.”

WHAT IN THE HORROR FILM?

HER HUSBAND TRIED TO KILL

HER?!

“Long term relationships are hard.” Buck. Baby. Now is NOT the time.

HUSBAND’S DEAD. At least somethings right with the universe.

Oh it’s a parallel for Bobby’s parents. I was wondering why this was happening lol.

“I’m living in Eddie’s so I must be in love with him?” I mean. Yeah?

“Except that I’m not.” LIAR.

“Maybe I don’t wanna unpack. It means Eddie and Chris aren’t coming back.” My love. I wish I could hug him 😭

Ann’s little emotional break down on stage? Smells like guilt tripping 😀

Aaaaaand we’re right back to the fraud. Okay.

Oh shit she’s down!!

“Mommy stay with me.” BOBBY 😭😭😭

It’s happened to her before?

She has cancer? Oof.

Again with the signs.

Bobby’s still defending his father I…

So r we gonna have an actual conversation?

Stage four cancer?

“It would take a miracle.” Damn 😀

He’s apologising? Well will she apologise to him?

Okay good 👍

“Sometimes all u can do is save yourself.” AND I OOP. That’s so fucking true 🥹

Buck gets a cunty twirly little unpacking montage? Okay! At least hes smiling honestly.

NOT THE COUCH SHOT. C’MON. IT HAS TO BE INTENTIONAL.

Dispatch?

Athena’s responding… I’ve got a bad feeling here…

DOCTOR ODYSSEY?!?! OMG I FORGOT THIS WAS HAPPENING!

And that’s a wrap!

Final thoughts:

Bobby’s story gets more and more heartbreaking with every chapter and flashback to his past. His defense of his dad, his anger at his mom and brother, him fulfilling that cycle with his own alcoholism, except the outcome is the other way round - instead of only him dying for his mistakes, he’s the only one who lives. Was ready to hate on his mom, but idk… it’s tricky. Other than her Very #Exploitative profession ofc, her actions are understandable - she was right not to have climbed into the casket with her husband. But also no, she shouldn’t have left her youngest child, and continued to leave him for literal years.

As for Buddie… BOY ARE WE FEASTING! Buck struggling to sleep in Eddie’s house, Tommy reunion bringing the unsaid into the light, the words “Buck being in love with Eddie” (however much they’re phrased as “incorrect”) is now in the TEXT of the show, Maddie saying would that be so crazy? We have been FED.

Not loads of Chim, and basically no Hen, but that’s to be expected with Aisha directing. She did a FABULOUS job btw. I loved that we’re getting more little moments like the Han’s and Buck, plus some Bathena. All the scenes flowed way better than they have been so far (cough cough Buddie Freddy Fakeman arguement cough cough) with less of the stilted, I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-hands moments. Aisha if u see this I’m throwing all the flowers at ur feet!

Overall, VERY happy with this episode. A lil scared for where this is going regarding Buddie, but hey, when are we not? The price of a fanon ship. Also why have they got me warming up to Tommy lmao. Like I’m happy to NEVER see him again, but I’m not… mad he was in the episode? Like his presence is bringing up a LOT of Buck’s feelings to Eddie, plus the confirmation that Tommy was ~ suspicious ~ abt Buck and Eddie’s relationship is nice. Anyways, Aisha Hinds did amazing, as predicted! I rlly hope she directs more in the future! (After more Hen storylines ofc)

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER TWO (JEDDAH)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6k

warnings: hmmm nothing except heartbreak in several scenes lol

author's note: guys im really sorry but im pretty mean to paul here..... like it got to the point where i rewatched jeddah videos of him and physically felt ill because i was mad at him LMAO 😭 but we'll get through this together!! this was supposed to include some other scenes but it was long enough as it was sooo 😶 summary for this chapter ig is yn feels very torn between her boys, and so do i. hope everyone has a good week (it's finally race week again aaaaa) !! 💗

also i think the next chapter might be shorter because i just wanna get it out already and i don't have a lot to write about in it hehe, fingers crossed that i can finish it soon<3

(alsoooo i proofread this a few days ago but i just cant find the energy or time to do it rn, praying that there are no big issues…. if there are, i would be so thankful if you could send me an ask or message etc 🙏)

series masterlist

"i still can't believe i missed out on the top ten again. and by just three hundredths, even..."

pepe shakes his head as you both make your way out of the campos truck, dragging a frustrated hand through his hair before pulling on his red bull cap. you can't help but chuckle – he's been like this all day, and all evening yesterday. you understand it, though; finishing just outside the reverse grid pole once again must feel frustrating.

not that you can relate. with a much better qualifying session yesterday in your second-ever qualifying in formula 2, you managed to snatch an eight-place finish. in other words, you will be starting third in today's sprint race, and just the thought of the probability of getting some big points sends tingles through your entire body.

"you'll get it next time," you say with a pat on your friend's back. "i mean, look at ollie. from p-nowhere last week to pole yesterday. that can be you next time around."

you've just come out of your morning meeting – morning meaning starting at ten and ending around noon – and now you're finally getting some lunch in the red bull hospitality. even during a race weekend like this, with mostly evening and night sessions, you still managed to oversleep and almost didn't make it in time for your meeting. you didn't get to have any breakfast, you had to run all the way from the shuttle to the truck, and you even forgot one of your racing boots as well as your phone in your hotel room. thankfully, you'll still have time to go back to the hotel before the sprint race, but walking around without your phone feels like being naked.

"speaking of ollie," pepe starts as you turn left and head into the formula one paddock. "are things between you two... alright?"

your eyebrows furrow together at the pause in the middle of his sentence. "why wouldn't they be?"

"well, i..." he stops again, and it makes you want to shake him. "i heard something. but it doesn't matter."

"who are you to decide that it doesn't matter?" you scoff. "tell me."

pepe sighs – he knows fighting you over this is a losing battle. you're way too stubborn to let go of this. "i heard that you were having issues. that you aren't happy, or something along those lines..."

you stop in your tracks, brain working in overdrive to comprehend what your friend is telling you. not happy with ollie? why would you not be happy with him? "who told you this?"

pepe stops in front of you. "i heard it from kimi, who heard it from... paul."

"what?" your eyes squeeze shut as your hands interlace on top of your head. "why would kimi come to you? instead of asking ollie himself?"

"you know kimi," pepe starts instantly. "he's young and gullible. i think he wanted to go for the see-if-the-best-friend-knows-anything strategy instead of asking ollie straight out." his hands squeeze your shoulders softly and you look up at him, a hint of a pout on your lips. "i guess he was scared that ollie would get mad at him or something."

"it's just-" you sigh. "it doesn't make any sense, does it?" pepe is just about to say something more when you cut him off with a dismissive swat of your hand in the air, stepping away from him and continuing your walk down the paddock. "let's just forget about it. i need lunch."

pepe stands frozen for a few moments before hurrying up to you again. he can't quite read your mood – you look unbothered, but he can't help but notice the slight touch of redness of your ears and the way your eyes seemingly can't focus on one thing for long enough. there's no way you can be over it already.

with pepe shutting up for a little while for the first time ever, you're left all alone with your thoughts as you continue your stroll. you know you should've asked for more information; you should've asked for details, for exactly what kimi said and how he worded it. you probably should also ask kimi himself for what paul told him. but right now, it's like a shadow is clouding your vision.

how dare paul say something like that? he must've known that the rumors he made up would spread like wildfire, as they always do in the formula paddocks. the snowball effect can make something tiny become huge, which is why you're always cautious about rumors. but apparently, paul doesn't care about that.

you're far too enraged to think even straight, and that's why it takes pepe pulling your arm to make you stop walking. you frown – to be fair, your frown hasn't left since it appeared a few minutes ago – but when you realize what it is that he's pointing at, both your frown and your jaw drop.

there's a swarm of journalists and fans following a ferrari driver down the road in front of you, which isn't all that uncommon. both charles and carlos are always incredibly popular. but what blows your mind is the fact that when you finally catch a glimpse of the driver's face, it's neither of the team's main drivers.

it's ollie.

"ollie! mate!" pepe yells, his arm waving erratically over his head. it takes a moment for the brit to find the owner of the voice, but he's tall enough to look over everyone else, and he's soon making his way over to you both. "i know you're popular, but this all seems a little excessive, don't you think?"

"i don't know what happened, as soon as the news came out..." ollie lets out a chuckle before turning to you, eyebrows raised at your expression. "i've called you like a hundred times, what have you been up to?"

"i left my phone at the hotel-" you begin but cut yourself off and shake your head. "wait, what news?"

when ollie starts speaking, time slows down. the entire world around you goes dark, the only thing you can hear being ollie's explanation of how carlos needs surgery and the call he got as he was having lunch. you feel lightheaded, almost like you could faint, when he speaks his final words. "...and they said i will be the one to replace him. i'm driving the formula one grand prix tomorrow."

you don't waste any time before throwing yourself into his arms, a loud squeal passing through your lips. "are you kidding me?" you exclaim, hugging him even tighter. "this is incredible, ollie! oh my god, i..."

"i can't really believe it myself, to be honest," ollie says, shaking his head as you part from the hug. pepe slaps his shoulder, congratulating his friend. "i would love to stay and chat, but i need to be in the car for the last practice, and i have a lot to get done-"

"go! go!" you usher, softly shoving him away back towards the journalists and fans who are still waiting just a few meters away. "we will talk later, okay?"

"of course."

and then you watch him leave – your boyfriend, the soon-to-be formula one driver – with a much lighter heart. this definitely helps you forget about all of the things regarding paul.

at least for a little while.

but of course, pepe stops your train of thought. "does that mean i get the reverse grid pole?"

you've never ever been to the ferrari garage before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-practice duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the garage instead of right outside the doors.

a fool dressed in a red bull race suit, even. great.

you were in the middle of preparations for your sprint race when ollie texted you, and since you still had some time before the race started, you made it over to the other side of the paddock as quickly as you could. but unfortunately, that meant that you didn't have time to change your outfit into something more discreet.

"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.

"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"

"he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."

you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.

"sweetheart? can i come in?"

ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.

"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"

when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?

you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.

not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight of him.

"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.

"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."

it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."

ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.

"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"

"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."

you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."

a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.

he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "i really need to go, because the sprint starts in..." you shoot a quick glance to the clock on the wall. "forty-five minutes. my team is going to kill me. but go out there and show them, baby."

and that's exactly what he did.

though, that's not the only thing you were correct about; your team was indeed furious when you finally made it back to the campos garage. your main engineer, who was supposed to help you get strapped in and fix all of the last details with the car over fifteen minutes ago, was apparently so angry he left you to do everything yourself. it's not that you didn't know about your schedule; you just needed to be there for ollie before his big debut.

everything works out in the end, at least according to you, and you're soon settled in your car on the grid, waiting to go on your formation lap. however, you've barely gotten as much as a glance from anyone on your team. you can't help but press the button to activate your radio. "i'm really sorry, guys. i just... had to do something."

"hope it was worth it." the voice of one of your engineers booms through your earpieces instantly, the sternness in his tone sending a shiver down your spine. "we got a huge fine because you were so late to get into the car, so..."

another of your engineers speaks up. "let's focus on the race instead now. no need to fight."

maybe it was because you got to visit ollie right before the race, or maybe it was just starting third and having a good car. either way, the sprint race was one of your best races in a long time. not only did you pass richard verschoor starting one place ahead of you into turn one; you also overtook paul, who started from pole, before the end of the first lap and got to lead your first laps in formula two ever.

dennis came around to steal the lead from you, but just landing yourself a spot on the podium was enough for you to celebrate. when you scored a second-place finish where the guy in first place was one of your former academy members, it didn't really matter that the guy on the third step of the podium was your ex-boyfriend.

going through all media duties is always exhausting, but it's usually never as dreadful as it is today. sitting in that press conference, knowing that your boyfriend is starting his first ever formula one qualifying in just a few moments. you have to literally bite your tongue not to pull a valtteri bottas and ask the journalists how q1 is going.

when you're this busy, you don't really have any time to think about paul's rumors. though, something about it continues to loom in the back of your mind all evening. especially when he speaks in the press conference, despite how hard you try to not even look at him, and especially when he's asked about ollie.

as the press conference finally comes to an end, you're not the only one who wants to hurry out of there to watch the rest of the qualifying session. you and the rest of the podium trio find a big screen that's showcasing the session, and you all insist that you should stay and watch, despite the f2 staff members' continuous attempts to squeeze the last drops of content from you.

they keep stuffing their phones and cameras in your face, throwing all kinds of questions about ollie your way, but you refuse to budge. you won't let them ruin this moment for you.

you're sure they've gotten quite a lot of embarrassing pictures of you teary-eyed while admiring your boyfriend's results, though.

you follow the timing board like a hawk, but something breaks you out of your trance. "who are you watching?" your head snaps to the direction of the voice – the f2 instagram admin with her phone pointed to paul.

as if you all haven't been watching and chatting about ollie for the last ten minutes.

you try not to, you really do, but you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of paul. he's trying to look all innocent, hugging his trophy to his chest as his big, blue eyes blink up at the screen in the distance. a year ago, you would've just thought he was adorable – but today, this frustrates you more than anything. "i'm watching my dear friend ollie," he starts, eyes finding the camera so easily.

dear friend, huh? a dear friend is someone you spread rumors about?

the next time he speaks up, you have to physically bite your tongue to not yell at him. "the guy who gave me one position on tomorrow's grid."

you turn your head away in pure disgust. how could he say something like that? is that the only thing he cares about, places in his starting grid for tomorrow's feature race? is he serious?

you want to escape, to just storm off and never speak to him again. but instead, you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus back on the thing you're here for. ollie is doing so well; when q2 ends and he has driven his last lap, he misses out on q3 by just over a hundredth of a second. he almost even manages to knock out the legendary lewis hamilton, his fellow countryman whom he's been following for as long as he can remember, in his first-ever qualifying session.

you've never been prouder.

"honestly, as long as i can just bring the car home without wrecking it completely, i'm satisfied."

you give ollie's hand a soft squeeze at his words, fingers intertwining as your hands rest on top of the hotel cafeteria table. your other hand lifts your sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite, chewing it down quickly before giving him a nod.

you know his statement is meant as a joke, but you know it's just as much of a truth as a lie. driving an actual ferrari f1 car is his biggest dream, and even just making an alright race probably is enough to make him happy. there's no pressure on him, no one is expecting him to perform a miracle or even score some points.

but at the same time, you know he would never be satisfied with himself if he "just" brought it home safely. ollie isn't like that; he's way too stubborn, too determined, too much of a sore loser. it's what makes him. no matter what he says, there's always going to be something inside of him telling him that he needs to do better.

"i think you'll score your first points today," you tell him with a shrug. "i can feel it."

"don't say that, we don't know anything yet."

a shake of your head in combination with that smile of yours is enough to make some hope spark in him. "well, you have the car for it," you start. "and you have the skills."

ollie stays silent, letting the distant chatter of the other hotel guests having their breakfast fill the air. the cafeteria is emptying out by now, but new faces have been dropping in for a long time now, most of them walking by to give ollie a pat on his shoulder or a quick "good luck, mate".

you put down the last of your sandwich, leaving it behind with the fruit rinds and other scraps on your plate. "but don't think too much," you hum, eyes softening as they land on his. he's trying to contain his worries and anxiety as much as he can, but the slight tilt of his eyebrows and the way his gaze tends to dart away every once in a while tells a different story. "it's just driving. it's just what you always do, no problem."

you hold your glass of orange juice up to him and he gets the hint, clinging his own glass to yours before downing the last of its contents.

you're just about to speak up again with new words of affection, but an icy feeling spreads through your body at the sight of paul entering the cafeteria. the feeling soon turns into real nausea, and you can't even remember what you were supposed to say when you realize that he's making his way towards the two of you.

you want nothing more than to stay and keep encouraging ollie, but you can't take it at this moment. you stand up from your seat, giving ollie's fingers one last squeeze. "i forgot that i have a meeting soon," you make up. "so i need to go. i'll come see you before the race, okay?"

he doesn't even get to say bye before you've stormed off.

unfortunately, you have to pass paul in order to make it to the exit, but you make no effort to even recognize that he exists. you keep your gaze straight ahead.

karl, paul's physio, does a quick greeting from you though – as well as a confused look at the candle pressed into a pastry in one of the hotel's yogurt bowls – but then, you're off to hide in your hotel room until you're needed at the track for race preparations.

of course paul had to come by and ruin everything yet again.

with a good race from yesterday in the bag, you thought you could keep the momentum into today. however, that didn't turn out to be the case.

when a trident driver hit you from behind in the first lap, you lost a few positions instantly and after that, it was a bit too tough to recover. you had opportunities for overtakes, and the car was good enough to go through with them, but you never could. you kept slipping up, making rookie mistakes, and falling back even further. it even got to the point where your team came on the radio to remind you to focus on the road.

but no matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work. the entire race, something else clouded your mind.

or, more specifically, someone.

every time you even caught a glimpse of paul's silver car, it was like something in your mind short-circuited. the memory of your conversation with pepe, the thought about paul running around and spreading rumors about you in the paddock… you couldn't push the thoughts, or the anger, away.

other times, back in the day, you were always good at turning your anger into something positive for your races. if you were upset with your father for something he said about red bull or the junior program, you went out there and proved him wrong. if you heard that another driver had complained about how you just got your seat because you were a girl, you made sure to dominate the race.

your stubbornness was always your biggest strength. but today, it was like your tank had run out. as much as you wanted to completely crush paul, you didn't have the capability.

at least paul didn't have that good of a race, either.

the second you get out of your car, you storm off towards your garage. you know you'll probably get a lot of shit for your performance your entire debrief, but if you can at least get over with it sooner, then you can forget about it and refocus on the next race weekend. plus, you really want to catch ollie before he's away for his f1 debut.

thankfully, you're not the only one getting criticized during the debrief; the team is not very happy with pepe's start, nor his DNF. after they've gone on and on about how costly this weekend has been for the team for an hour, you're finally released, but not without one last reminder to "think about what you're doing here and whose time you're wasting".

it's natural to lose all energy and confidence after a race like this. but the second you're back in ollie's arms, it's like the world around you just disappears. he's always been the best at keeping you grounded.

you've probably never hugged him this tightly before, but you can't help it. the second your arms wrap around his neck, you pour everything you have into the embrace.

he looks so good, so handsome and professional dressed up in his ferrari race suit. not just his prema suit with the ferrari logo on it, but an actual ferrari outfit. he looks like a real f1 driver – and the realization that he indeed is a formula one driver now brings tears to your eyes.

"hey," he says around a chuckle. "don't cry on me, woman."

"i won't..." you reach up to wipe away a drop from the corner of your eye as you pull away slightly from his embrace, shaking your head. "i won't. i'm just so proud of you."

"why are you so sappy?" the scene in front of him brings a huge grin to ollie's lips – he finds you equal parts adorable and hilarious. "i'm just going out there to drive a car. no biggie."

"no biggie," you repeat with a scoff, dabbing your other eye quickly before doing your best to blink down your other tears. earlier today, you were the one saying all of this was no problem. and yet, now he is the one who has to convince you of it. "right. it's just your passion, the thing you love. but i'm still proud."

an engineer catches ollie's attention above your head, sending him a certain look that has your boyfriend nodding before giving you one last squeeze. "i think i should-"

"of course, go," you usher him, retracting from his arms. "i'll be here after, no matter what happens." he nods, and he's about to leave when you speak up one last time. "have fun, okay?"

"always."

who would've imagined that ollie would not only score points in his first ever f1 race, but also win driver of the day, have the most overtakes, and score a seventh place as the second best british driver of the race?

well, you had imagined everything from him coming last to winning the race by horse lengths. and yet, this was all so unexpected. if someone had told you on wednesday that ollie would score six f1 points three days later, you would've laughed in their face. but now, it feels like it's been a long time coming.

you weren't allowed to stay in the ferrari garage for the actual race – it would've been a pr nightmare for everyone involved – so your nerves were all over the place since you weren't able to hear ollie's radio messages, info about the strategies, and so on. at least you get to wait right outside the garage with jamie, chris and his dad david, being the first to congratulate him after such a good debut race.

he looks completely worn out when he finally walks out through the door, but you can almost feel the pride and happiness radiating from him. his sweaty hair rests messily on top of his head, and an ice vest is draped over his body already to cool him down from the insane heat. and, most importantly, the smile on his lips is bigger than it's been all week.

ollie looks like he doesn't ever want to let go of his dad's hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of david's neck for a long time. you can only guess what things the father is whispering in his son's ear, but when the result is ollie pulling him even closer, your heart expands in your chest.

when they part, it's jamie's and chris's times to congratulate the point-scorer, and when he pulls away from his manager's arms, his eyes land on you. you're pulled into his embrace in just a second, a giggle slipping past your lips when he lifts you up into the air and spins you both around. his strong grip around you never eases, not when he sets you down on your feet again and not when he starts speaking.

"i knew it would be hard, but..." he shakes his head, a sweaty fringe brushing against the side of your head. "my entire body is ruined. like, it doesn't hurt because i have so much adrenaline, but i'm going to be in so much pain later. my neck and my shoulders and-"

another one of your waves of laughter cut off his ramblings, and he joins in once he realizes what he's been doing. when you finally pull apart slightly and your hands come up to cup his cheeks, you're just staring into his eyes for what feels like forever.

your boy, the f1 driver.

"this is from your mum," you whisper to him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "and this is from your sister." a kiss to his other cheek. "and... this is from me."

ollie has to crouch down slightly because even when you get onto your tippy toes, you can't reach all the way up to his forehead. but once you press your lips against his skin, all of the hidden tension in his eyebrows disappears. he's like putty under your touch.

"i'm so proud."

ollie's groans are muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, head twitching when your thumbs press into some tense areas of his neck. you shush him jokingly, like a mother comforting a crying baby, but your movements never halt.

ever since he got out of that car, he's been complaining about how sore he is. especially his neck and shoulders, and all of the muscles that were most affected by the g forces. you don't blame him, however – he's got a free pass for pretty much everything for the next week, you think – but you decided to be a nice girlfriend and help him out. the strings of whines and swearwords he keeps letting out don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, though.

the lotion on your hands is enough for you to be able to glide your fingers across his upper back, along his shoulder blades, all over his freckled skin. as you're straddling his lower back, you can reach pretty much all angles of his upper body, and the knots in his muscles seem to be disappearing despite how painful your massage seems to be.

eventually, ollie tilts his head to the side, his blushed cheeks decorated with lines from the pillow underneath him. his slight pout is on full display and his tired eyes flutter closed as he speaks. "hey, y/n?"

"yes, ollie?" you reply, your thumb pressing into one especially stubborn knot in his right shoulder. ollie stays quiet for a few moments and takes a deep breath, almost as if he's gathering courage for something.

"you know that i love you right?"

the world around you stops.

everything freezes.

he loves me?

your breath hitches in your throat at the words. it's the first time he's ever said them, and though it's not the most uncommon thing for someone to tell their girlfriend of over six months, they make your head spin.

a mishmash of thoughts clouds your mind. they won't shut up for even a second. but the loudest thought is the only one you shouldn't have; it's about the only person you can't be thinking about right now.

the way that your mind instantly wanders off to paul is frankly embarrassing, but you can't help it. he's the first boy you've ever loved, the first person you've ever uttered those three words to. the only one. and no matter how badly you wish you could just forget about that and move on, he's still a part of you. he's your only real experience of love.

and this just isn't the same.

you want to say it back to ollie, you truly do. but at the same time, you don't want to say it if it isn't true – it's not fair to him.

ollie senses that something is up. your signs aren't exactly subtle, anyway; your movements have stopped completely and he can't even hear you breathing anymore. "hey, i'm sorry-"

"don't apologize," you interject instantly, shaking your head as you start to climb off his body. "you did nothing wrong. i'm the one who's sorry."

"stop that, you shouldn't be." he turns around, staring up at you with those big, brown eyes of his. "i don't expect you to say it back if you don't want to. i just..." he lets out a low sigh. "i wanted you to know, i guess."

you sit still for a few moments, before leaning down to place a kiss on his rosy cheek. "thank you." another pause. "it means a lot, you know?"

"well, you mean a lot to me."

and he does to you, too.

but is that enough?

ollie loves me.

he actually loves me.

he told me today after the race, and... i didn't say anything. i just sat there like a complete moron.

i couldn't say it back. i just don't feel what i felt for paul yet.

what's wrong with me?

why don't i race like i used to? why can't i control my emotions? was the sprint race yesterday just luck? did i really deserve that podium?

why does paul still affect me this much? why is he always there in my thoughts – when i'm racing, when i'm with ollie, when i try to sleep...

i have a perfect boyfriend and a great car, so why do i feel like everything is falling apart?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername p2 in the sprint 🥈 big thanks to the team for the hard work!! and i got to witness the rb p1-2 up close, congrats redbullracing 💙 also check slide 4 for an appearance from me and my former family on f1tv <3

show all 96 comments

user y/n and the prema staff during the driver's parade 😭 they're so cute

→ user her referring to them as her family, byeeee

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user why is no one talking about the last slide???

→ user because i can't talk while i'm crying, sorry

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user great job this weekend y/n !!! thank you for signing my cap 🥺

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user loved to see her celebrate the red bull double podium even after a hard feature race ❤️

→ user she had to balance out the post with that max and checo pic 😭 would've been just ollie & prema otherwise

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user ollie looks like a baby in the second pic 🥲

→ user just a little boy playing with his toy cars

→ yourusername i had to hold his little teddy bear during the race to make sure it wouldn't get dirty

→ user stopppp you're so real for sharing that

[kahlidosenotread]

“One bed “

“theres only 𝐨𝐧𝐞 bed ..“

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

𝐸𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒（𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔）

you matt nick and chris planned to go on a trip , deciding your going to your favourite artist, now you have to admit you’ve had a crush on chris since you were kids－just to scared to tell him. Of course you've made up fake scenarios in your head, and stuff like that.

Youve even－ 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗣 “hurry up kid!“ you snap back to reality struggling to grab all your bags .before you take a step you look into the front seat of the old car they've had since kids sitting in your driveway, you scurry over to the trunk trying to put your duffle bags in the car “pmf!” You feel a tap on your shoulder which startles you, it’s Chris “oh my fuck you scared me to death.” “Why did you bring so many bags?..” you reach over to put another bag in but Chris takes it from you “I got y’ma. Calm down” “thanks, and a girl can never over pack .” You settle your hands on your hips looking at him with that cocky smug you have , he laughs.

the drive was .. ok, it was quiet. Not the awkward kind but more of the calming type of quiet. “ finally we are hereee” Nick says hopping out of the car stretching his arms , Matt following. You try and hop out too but Chris put that stupid child lock on . He comes to your door and opens it for you , “I’m not a child yk?” Chris laughs shutting the door behind you. When you were ten he always used to try and run to open your door before you could . You knew his mom raised him right , you finally got to the hotel hallways, you guys booked two rooms, one for you and nick and one for matt and chris, you wouldnt know what to do if you shared a room with chris－ “yn go to that room with 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬“ “i thought we were staying together?“ “yea but me and matt are early birds and dont wanna bug you lmao“ “oh alr .“

𝑪𝒉𝒓��𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 does yn not wanna share a room? Did i do something? , i feel nervous though, ive liked her since we were kids . I mean i hope she likes me too. Ive never told her, i dont think she likes me back－ “you coming?“ “yep“ i follow her to the room .

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒗

I open the door ,walk in , theres only 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘥． “fuck..“ i mutter “hm? Whats wrong－oh .“ “it was probably a mistake ill call the front office.“ does he not want to sleep in the same bed as me?－well i guess not . But its not like we havent had sleepovers, chris anxouisly tapping his feet , phone ringing but no awsner. You flop onto the bed next to him “i need a good nap. “ the phone picks up and you shoot up sitting and listening . “mhm, so this is the room we paid for?.... And we cant get another room?“ “nono its fine i tottaly understand.“ he hangs up “you can have a nap, ill take the couch“ he walks over and you call him “cmon chris its not like we havent ever had a sleepover?“ －“no no, its fine-“ you sigh dramatically “i guess you dont wanna cuddle-“ by the time your sentence ends chris is already beside you pulling you closer to him, yoy chuckle and close your eyes, falling asleep quickly－－

20 minutes later

𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗

she looks so peaceful sleeping. I wish we could stay like this forever. I’m glad we weren’t able to switch rooms－“mm!“ a muffeld sound came from yns mouth . “awh shes probably having a nightmare.“i pull her closer and then another muffle comes out of her mouth “chris..“ shes having a dream about me in her nightmare? “shhh baby im right here .“ this time she said your name with a moan rolling on top of you.

Oh.

Shes having a 𝘸𝘦𝘵 dream about me. “it’s ok im right here.“ what am i supposed to do? Wake her up and say i heard her 𝘮𝘰𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 my name in her sleep?－“mm..“ her legs on either side of me, i feel a jerk of her hips “chris..“ shit. What am I supposed to do? My best friend is laying on top of me having a wet dream. I slowly start moving her hips and it’s like she just falls into me “mm Chris!..”

Yn pov

it’s around 8:30 and you and Chris go down for breakfast. He’s basically carrying you because he wants breakfast and he knows you want some . Your just too tired to get it , “hey can I get two Hashbrowns, bacon and 2 omelettes? Thanks.” , “damn fatass you gon eat all dat?” “No I got some for you stupid” he says sitting you on the chair wrapped in a blanket . The waiter comes with the food and two plates with the food evenly shared , “thanks Chrissy －𝑝𝑚𝑓“ you say with the bacon shoved in your mouth . He seems .. 𝘖𝘧𝘧 almost as if he couldnt sleep last night . “chris,?“ “mhm?“ “i think we should go take a 𝗇𝖺𝗉 after this .“ you smirk .

OKAY I DIDINT KNOW HOW TO END IT LITTERALY IT TOOK 2 DAYS THEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT ANS HAD TO FINISH IT

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

[mattslolita]

heyyy how are you??? 😙

same girl whos been bothering me abt my bf msgd me on accident saying "who? arabella? i didnt see her yesterday but im glad honestly.. **** said she thinks i like her boyfriend and IM NOT GONNA SAY NUN BUT LIKE........ YOU CANT EVEN DENY IT BROOO" and we were literally msging like a minute before she sent that so im guessing she was talking to someone else idk who (ill found out tf) at the same time and clicked on my msg by accident. i screenshotted it but she deleted it literally a second after. im fuming bc shes always flirting with him but LUCKILY HE DOESNT ENTERTAIN IT!! hes told her before to stop cuz its weird so now he ignores her completley LMAO! omggg im gonna go off on her tmrw bc who tf does she think she is???? also who the hell was she speaking to? obviously not the first time ive been brought up too! shes gonna try act dum but i aint havin it im SO FED UP with her. but my friend already msgd her cuz she cant keep her gob shut 😭

atp let me have my rounds with that hoe cause shes WEIRDDDD and ive hated her ever since you first told me ab her😭😭😭 I'LL BEAT HER ASS FOR YOU STINK

[phinjeet]

ik you don’t like doofenshmirtz (which is valid) but how did you feel when phineas and ferb met him?

(sorry if you already made a post about this 😭)

* see im alwayz like “ehehe well i wouldnt say i Dont Like doof” n then i see an Image of him and it sendz me in2 a blind rage but i think itz mostly the fandomz attitude 2wardz him n perry that pissez me off cuz im like guyz therez other characterz GUYZ THE SHOW IZ CALLED PHINEAS AND FERB YK THEREZ OTHER CHARACTERZ RIGHT like ikkkkk i cant help loving the kidz n teenz n not giving a fuck abt doof/perry plot , n every1 else loving the doof/perry plot , WHATEVER (packz my belongingz in2 a bindle and walkz away sadly) but like i do genuinely enjoy a lot of hiz jokez n plot linez (at least earlier on , he becomez significantly harder 2 put up w when he lozez hiz accent in the later seazonz , n like u can Tellllll hez mr povenmirez Favoritest Specialest Little Oc and itz EXHAUSTINGGGGGG PERSONALLY , SO LIKE . YEA ID SAY I HAV A . STRAINED RELATIONSHIP W DOOF AZ A CHARACTER which mostly leanz 2wardz negativez closer 2 the showz end beuwhua)

* but he becomez sm less annoying when pnf n gang r there 4 me 2 obsess over , potentially only bc im distracted LMAO

* like at2d iz peak in general and it haz such an amazing plot that u could only ever get in 1. pnf 2. a movie 3. a Pnf Movie , w pnf finding out perryz a secret agent n everything , and it feelz like such an Event 2 see them meeting doof and getting along w him , unwittingly helping him build the other-dimension-inator while perry jugglez being in pet mode and thwarting him , they call him dr d and he callz them fellaz like hello thatz just adorable 2 me ?????

* also , less abt pnf themselvez , but im a big fan of doofz interactionz w izabella and baljeet in catu in particular , the thing w baljeet where theyre like “you mean astronomically .” “no i mean astrologically , here look at my horoscope” “virgo: you will be unable to access a planet by portal due to it being .. ASTRONOMICALLY . impossible” “okay so i guess we’re both right🙄” “(sigh)” THAT WAZ CUTE THAT WAZ FUNNY ….. doof just being an idiot 4 the sake of funniez pissez me AWFFF somtimez (the bit where he haz the bucket stuck on hiz head SIR U R A GROWN MAN) but itz a lot more enjoyable when the kidz r there 2 b like “wtf r u talking abt” . ig technically perryz uzually there 2 fill that role but he cant say it out loud . but izabella and baljeet will LMAO

* doof n isaz dynamic iz also rlly memorable , the way he insistz on being leader despite isaz far superior leadership skillz (baljeet siding w him briefly bc he Sounds Authoritative boy shut up/aff) , the “hey i dont come to where you work and tell you how to sell cupcakes🙄” line and the bit where isa givez him the getting back to earth patch like “EARN IT !!!” az she runz off n he just smilez after her , the way he learned 2 b more responsible thankz 2 her , therez smth so cute going on there that im honestly sad never got followed up on , n i doubt therell b a reazon 2 rlly explore it in s5 but ah . cute fun dynamic w thoze 2

* ig all in all ermm . i Luv seeing their worldz collide like this , 2 me doof feelz sm more grounded n fun when he haz some1 else 2 verbally bounce off of , like i cant say that hez a badly written character or whatever im just Deeply annoyed w him by the later episodez n the fun and fresh new dynamicz that come out of him n the kidz interacting r super entertaining , and again , probably wont b brought up in s5 much but i kinda hope they will b . like just 4 any reazon idk . make it happen 4 Me itll make me hate doof sm less JDJFNCJFJFJJX

* SRRY IF THIS IZ INCOHERENT/RAMBLY IM SO TIRED FJCJJ

[petruchio]

Sorry if this is too nosy, but omg Caroline a new crush??

Say more, say more! You’ve been friends for a while? What does he do that makes your stomach flutter?? Why do we like him? Is he kind?? 👀

NOT TOO NOSY AT ALL i literally cant shut up about it to anyone who will listen to me LMAO!!!

here is the situation. so basically he is this guy who is sort of peripherally related to my college friend group and so for the last several months i've just sort of been seeing him around at parties and hangouts and stuff (i think we officially met at our mutual friend's friendsgiving party? but we went to college together so i've known who he is for a while but we just never really crossed paths in college)

ANYWAY. so like back in january or something we were at this house party and my roommate and i were talking to him for a while and then when we left she turned to me and was like "what the fuck was that." and i was like what? and she was like "why did i feel like paint drying on the wall, he only talked to you for that entire conversation" and i was like omg bc i also had thought he was being really nice to me but i hadn't really thought much of it until she said that. so then a couple months passed and we kept seeing each other around and i kind of was expecting something to happen between us but then it never did so i was just sort of like ok dang i guess i misinterpreted that and moved on.

well ANYWAY last friday we were out at the club and HE KISSED ME. and it was great and fun and blah blah blah but we haven't said anything about it since so i have no idea if it was like the start of something or just like a one time thing but i've been going insane ever since and i can't stop thinking about him.

and yes he's very kind :) but i dont know!! i have no idea what to expect but it's exciting because i haven't seriously had anything happen in my love life in so long other than my delusional crush on my ex and my flop online dating era so it's kind of exciting that even if it doesn't go anywhere i kind of did successfully pull off a friends to lovers scenario for myself even just for one night

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday pt2

ep 6 (put it under a cut because this one is LONG)

fukuchi be like 'the agency couldn't possibly be smart enough to- oh wait nvm i forgot ranpo existed lol' like more than once and i think that is testament to the fact that RANPO BEST BOY

'have you forgotten? we're terrorists' ICONIC BEHAVIOUR

man and i complain about doing one 37 hour work week. after this one week the agency needs to take a NAP. AND THE MAFIA TOO. imagine there's like just no criminal activity or anything for like three days and everyone's like ?? but on day 4 atsushi and akutagawa are fighting to the death at the port and everyone is like 'ah. business as usual' lmaoooo

omg every time the hunting dogs song comes on i get so hyped lmao im like yESSS ACTION

'that man, that demon, the evillest most scawy man ever in the world....etc etc' and its just some guy doing the most coy babygirl pose a guy can possibly do

wait DAZAI WHAT DID YOU DO. HOW DID YOU DO IT

taneda btw deserved none of this he was just some nice old dude and then sigma fucking stabbed him lmao

dazai is like the personification of the perjury mechanic in drv3. 'go on lie. you gotta. lie now. cmon pussy you wont'

OH MY GOD CHUUYA

my god fyozai is so fucking babygirl. also wdym dazai?? if the two of you were the last ones on earth you should just have gay sex. its not that hard smh

oh no dazai falled down through the flore

OH MY GOD MYKOLA AND SIGMA

BESTIE??

BESTIE?????

BESTIE????????????????

BESTIE??????????????????????

B

E

S

T

I

E

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

dm me if you want to receive a free 2min audio file of me laughing about this (i have a headache from laughing. my throat fucking hurts so bad. i'm pretty sure it's actually bleeding. my eyes are moist with tears. BESTIE???????)

do you even needa ask why i'm here?? ⭐️❤️☺️ *voice drops 6 octaves* i'm here to murder you 👹👹👹

and then after that fyodor was just like 'teehee he's so romantic x' like bro

dazai: *turns to the camera like he's on the office* waow

i love mykola's little laugh it's so silley

omg they're actually animating him so well. bones must've seen the reception from s4 and decided to step it up 💀

dazai and fyodor are simultaneously evil grown men and bimbo highschool girls and it's such a look. 'omg ur friends are so cute <3' 'omg right???' also mykola my beloved i want to be yours forever pls

i love how bram's acting all tough like aya can't just open the casket and leave and render him thoroughly powerless lmao

omg the official anime aya and bram sillies begin. we've been waiting for this for months folks so far so good

it was already pretty funny that aya is carrying bram like a backpack but actually seeing her running with him on her back is like a billion times funnier especially since this shit is life or death. but she just got a whole entire vampire on her back no problem sjhsksjssjhj

sigma: watashi wa shiguma me: fucking superb you funky little toddler

imagine if it was a fucking prank this whole time and mykola just injected them with a slow-working sedative or something that would be so funny. like all of this for nothing sksjksjsjks and then he just stabs fyodor or something the end. boom world save

oh ok nvm the vampires can talk just fine i guess lmao. also i genuinely cant tell if im supposed to be taking this episode seriously or not. one second people are being brutally slaughtered next moment silley little guys??? such is the way of bsd i guess

'you're a failure of a woman' my dude she is literally 10 years old she is nowhere close to being a woman shut your misogynistic ass up lmao

OKAY BECAUSE ok ok listen i was wondering what music they were gonna use for bram and when i heard the ending music i was like 'ok a little anticlimactic but i understand' and then it TRANSITIONED into the ACTUAL ENDING??? 10/10

hehe. bestie

[carmenized-onions]

chapter 12, new chapter yeeeehawwww

THAT FUCKING PIC HOLY MOLY

not the flight pun… (i love puns but wow just wow)

THE LOCATION IS STILL ON, I REPEAT THE LOCATION IS STILL ON (he deffo didn’t forget, he purposfully chose to keep it like that i just know:’)) )

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER???🥹🥹🥹

ignore the Bear in the room - 💀💀💀

Something? Or, rather, explicitly, that’s nothing. - LMAO. also yay carmen didn’t give the creep her number :D

Sydney sleeps on your shoulder, for most of the plane ride - CUTIES. get me those squidinky (kissing) crumbs

“what are we?’” Answers Syd - 👀👀👀

see if he needed help with getting ready - omg that would’ve been so cute tho her helping him tie a tie or fix his bow or cufflinks or whatever

Plus, the amount you saved on splitting a one bed? - one bed for the economy tropeeeee

pinning the collar pins on her uniform - ayo? that’s kinda 👀

I think it’s peach - like the drink she made🥺

Pbb—Fuck, - LSNEKKRKE she’s adorable

“Chip, can you put these fuckin’ things on f’me?” - SO CUTEEE. BESTIESSSSSS

the dirty details? - evil to not let us know but alas it needs to make sense with where chippy’s head is at I GUESS

I’m waitin’ on my informer - chippy cringed but i aweed

“I know.” - THEYRE SUCH BESTIES SHUT UPPPP

whore-derve— - the way i stopped mid-tea-sip

You angle your body from Richie to her, deadpanning. “Just because you went to the fuckin’ FBI or whatever the fuck—” - LMAOOO the chip and richie tag team we love to see it

Carmen did your prep entirely himself. - i’m gonna fucking sob???? YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON ME I-

So no one else could’ve left the simple braised beef sandwich on your station. […] Your order at The Beef. - HE IS THE CUTEST EVER. did he actually do something wrong? i seem to have forgotten -

He nods, like he understands, walking away - me even when i haven’t gotten a fucking clue about what they actually wanted me to do

“Insane thing to say about your five-year-old.” - indeed it is. though hilarious. this chapter is lighter, more banter, which is nice

Yeah. They had lavender and maple syrup behind the bar. - SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE THEM I MISS THEM SOMMUCH THEYRE EVERYTHING TO ME GGFFHHHHFHFHD

“Aye aye, Chippy.” - so cute. chippy could be a pirate name

Still failed Mikey, no matter how hard you tried. - stop it 🗞️💥

this chapter is making me really miss being on bar

You really need to start telling people you don’t know how to make bellinis. - Chippy let me get on bar with you, i’ll make all the bellinis for you (even tho i hate opening champagne bottles)

“Tiny quiche?”- richie i love you i love you i love you

“Don’t ask. Tell.” - nice

‘couldn’t stop him lmk if it’s bad’ - IS CARMY COMING :33333

“You need a barback?” - *see attached pic* he’s EVERYTHING. words cannot begin to express how much i love him. why is he not real i will midsommar myself

like accidentally used half the bottle levels like you. - HES SO CUTE C’MON

You’ll probably miss him for the rest of your life. - clutching my chest

But you know Carmen does it for you. Lights up a room for you - STOP CHOPPING ONIONS (no pun intended)

With haste, Carmen puts the palm of his hand over your mouth - fuck me fuck me fuck me

Oh, he missed being this close to you. - 🥺🥺🥺

You shove it towards him - i’ve missed them so much. also now i want a tiny quiche

what you’d want to do for your own. - with camen😁

ice will shock your nervous system. - ICE CHIPS BABYYYY

“I owe you an apology—” - LMAOOOO HE THOUGHT-

Fak does. - oh god this will be something

“but y’know, I can handle myself, Carmen.” - oh my lord is he gonna apologize for the fixing oven thing 💀💀

“Oh, come on, you haven’t shown up at The Bear since last Friday—” - oh he thinks- ,,, onion this is glorious

the way time literally stopped, when you left. When he made you leave.- YOURE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER FUCK OFF

And obviously Carmen could tell, so he stopped calling you. Trying to be a true bro - IQBDIEHEIHEIEISJSKAKAJSHDUSJJSJS

“Between us.” What. - oh fak oh nononononono. i wonder that carmen will think about this😁

“Fuckin’ cool it, Fak.” Carmen barks, in tandem with you. - i love her guard dog :3

“…Was that anything—” - CARMEN HOW DUMB ARE YOU

“Yeah. Hi, Uncle Lee.” - OH FUCK THIS DUDE (uncle lee that is)

Pulling the drink away from his hand - LMAO as she should😌😌

“Ah… I see, friend, ya did a little—” He taps the side of his nose, sniffing. - i would’ve (mentally) fucking jumped over the bar counter and had his ass

junkie hands - GET HIS ASS CHIPPY

There’s a pile of forks behind your bar, that you’d asked Richie for, just in case this situation came to a head - LMFAO NOT THE FORKS

Carmen’s the only one that flinches, immediately rearing his own fist back - AYO WOULD HE FIGHT FOR HER?

“Yessir.” - she’s so funny, i love her

If I see you outside, I’m taking you to the fucking pavement, and I’m not getting off. - i love her so much, i want to kiss her

“You’re a real fuckin’ bi—” A fork flies over his shoulder, clattering behind him. Not from you, from Carmen. - BABYBOYYYYY I LOVEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU

“Alright, Donna.” - PAVEMENT, NOW

“Black lavender latte. Cognac n’ coffee liqueur. If it’s too strong, let me know, I can add more milk.” - i’m crying again, i love them so muchh

You’re overjoyed at the verbal confirmation he drank it. - the way they mirror each other owns my entire being and i will not accept anyone else for him in any season of The Bear ever

“Needed yours.” - Baueidnrirjejejdudhshd !!!!!!!!! i know i’m forgiving him way too easily but hello!! when he acts like this how can i not fold

i had to stop the chapter here bc chores and oh my god???? i will think about this until i can read it again

caught; but then he looks at your face, and he knows he has nothing to be worried about. - the way she makes people feel safe IS JUST SO 🥹🥹🥹 there are tears of softness in my eyes

You defend everyone but you. - REAL. which is why carmen going off on her was so much sadder because he just confirmed all her worst thoughts about herself

and he knows it’ll be too much, for him or you - this is so interesting because i really can’t tell wether she struggled with addiction herself or if it’s just from supporting mikey

“None of my business.” He sniffs, awkwardly. “Unless you want it to be.” - THEY’RE SO SIMILAR

“No.” The reply is instant. - :’)))))))))

This is when he looks embarrassed, just slightly. - OH?👀👀👀

‘Who said?’ - Squid is so funny

It’s a built-in habit for you, to hand your fork to Carmen. - them sharing cutlery will always be one of the cutest things ever

“Just wanted to make sure you got dessert, over here.” Just wanted to make sure you ate something. - THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE AND CARING STOP MY HEART

Carmen shrugs, smiling, “Are you tryna get fucked up at work, Chef?” - they’re all so cute with each other, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy

If things were normal you could just eat off each other's plates. - i miss that time. gotta do a re-read for sure

“Ey, sorry everyone, we’re just gonna take a quick thirty, alright? Union mandated.” - HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART CMON

“I’d ride for you.” - i’d do anything for them

“I lo— I like you, so much - HOLD UP- HOW ARE WE JUST SKIPPING PAST THIS. SHE WAS THINKING HOW LONG IT PROBABLY TAKES HIM TO SAY THE L-WORD AND IT WAS ABOUT TO SLIP OUT OF HIM AFTER KNOWING HER A FEW WEEKS LIKE CMON NOW SOULMATES

Carmen does not wish to be anywhere else.  - them, just THEM

“You don’t owe me shit.” “I’m paying back a Berzatto, somehow.” - somehow they’re both me

“I was in his work cabinet, I think Richie was in his bedside, you and Sug were in his wallet.” - THATS SO🥺🥺🥺

You let him go, though you don’t particularly want to. - they’re both just so <3

You jump, your head hits the bottom of the base of the bar’s sink. - me constantly hurting myself on accident

“Carmy, babydoll, are you fucking insane?” - BABYDOLL

“How old do you think I am?” - LMFAOOOO the shade on mikey’s age suidhejdej

Would’ve said you’re getting sloppy seconds or call me a fuckin’ homie hopper - HOMIE HOPPER MADE IT YESSIRRRR

Need something to do with your hands. - MIRROR

Joint bank account. It was partially your money, technically. - THE MONEY SHE OWES. WOW WE’RE LEARNING EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER

“Since when does Richie give a fuck about personal?” - real but i’m proud of him

“Sobriety chip.” - WE BEEN SAYING. okay yes i’ve said a lot of other shit but!!

attachment*

ALRIGHT MY POPCORN LET'S FUCKIN POP IN LETS GO THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT AS ALWAYS

We're doing list format let's fuckin GO

I love hunting for screencaps, this one I felt like would be a little clickbaity because he's on the phone and these mother fuckers. do not call each other. BUT THE VIBE? LIKE THE VIBE? IT'S THERE

THE LOCATIONNNN!!! We may never know. Well we'll probably eventually know. It might not ever be brought up in canon because I may well forget but if you ask I'll tell.

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER!! We will eventually get into their dynamic but I think Chip just gives major cool gay aunt vibes. Her aura.

SO MUCH SQUIDINK IN THIS CHAPTER. The SHOULDER. the WHAT ARE WE. the GAY DEODORANT.

funny thing about cufflinks,,,, Truly though while writing I was like awe man :(( they could've had a cute moment if they weren't fighting. Carm/Tony honestly might've ended up being the ones splitting the one bed for the economy if they weren't fighting. SON OF A BITCH!!! At least in lieu of them we just got A Lot Of Squid time

THE DIRTY DETAILS AND THAT WHOLE ROADTRIP WENT UNTALKED ABOUT BECAUSE I HONESTLY DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YET LMAOOOO. I was like listen I know the rough gist I will figure it out later. And thank god I did because I did end up making a couple pivots from what I had originally planned. you will see.

Chip and Richie dogging on someone-- Anyone-- Together, always makes me the most happy. Like the Ratatouille moment from Zero Pulse and the CIA moment from Something to Do,,, I just love to see these bitches YAP at people like small dogs.

I love seeing and being able to tell exactly who's worked in service because everyone that has has IMMEDIATELY fucking folded upon reading Carmen did the sidework and made food.

I don't think anyone expected this chapter to be as light as it is-- Or at least as light as it starts. I think that's just the way of the Chip really, she brings ease even to the reader,,,,, ahhh my heart... my baby...

When I first made the lavender coffee in chap 2 I really didn't realize I was gonna keep fucking bringing it up. and now it's all I yap about. Carmen just gives a lavender coffee vibe yknow?

THIS CHAPTER MAKES YOU MISS BEING ON BAR??!?!?!?! You know what i get it, over an office job, there's something about the franticness that does feel like. cocaine.

TINY QUICHE!! I wish I was creative enough to think about more whore derves but I was really set on tiny quiches

You need a barback? - a man whos about to roll a boulder up a hill for the rest of his life and be content about it. He's also gonna smell like you the whole time, at least.

WHO IS CHOPPING ME!!!!!!!! It was wrenching to write Tony essentially already starting the grieving process of their relationship. like she very much prepared for it to be so jover in her head. hell. hell. hell.

FUCK MEDFGKJFG-- I think I did do a coin flip on whether he'd do the hand thing. Because it is funny. And also kind of hot. But he tends to just let people yell. but it's A WEDDING. And the yes or no wheel decided for me so listen if you ever think i make an out of character choice blame it on the wheel. the wheel probably did that. i've never made a wrong characterization ever in my life actually

The whole I owe you an apology-- I loved because I was basically just doing this bit over again:

Tumblr does not let you do lists starting at a higher number so we're STARTING OVER. FAK!! I think I only planned for this convo to happen when I wrote their little moment in Zero Pulse. It paid off in dividends, I'm so happy with it.

TIME STOPPEDEEDEDED-- Thank you hehehe. I wonder if we'll learn more about that moment latter,,,,,,,,,, probably nottt,,,,, hehehehehehe-- oh uncle lee's here look at that!!

SHE'D DIEEE BEFORE SHE SERVES THAT MOTHERFUCKER SHE CAME IN KNOWING SHE'D GET HIS ASS. I love my Chippy.

The amount of shock I have seen at Carmen getting ready to punch his Not Uncle has me offended on his behalf. OF COURSE HE'D FIGHT BACK COME ON!!!

I love watching these two acts of service motherfuckers try to out acts of service each other, basically. sex is gonna be insane what? i didn't say anything. talk about mirroring each other WHAT?

ah, the whole scene with the unnamed man, muah. i kiss them both. my two darlings. it made Just Dropped feel even worse though jesus CHRIST . (modern day saviour)

I have spent too long gigglin over every point you made so i'm going to SPEED UP STARTING NOW!! New chapter is absolutely not coming out tonight but if I get far enough in my asks, maybe early tommorow? We'll see. Anyways.

Marcus and Chip have rare moments but when they do they make me very happy. tryna get fucked up at work? It's very important to me, that Carmen fucking relaxes, in this chapter. It just makes me very happy that he lets people do their thing because he realizes they're fucking competent.

i fully went back to read old chapters when i got too sad. these motherfuckers are SO in their sad era I cannot wait to dig our way out of it like I WANNA GO HOME BITCCHEEESS ,,, CAN WE LEAVE THIS IN NEW YORK PLEASSEEE

i have yet to see anyone except you really yell at me about that almost love slip. maybe it's cause everyone thinks it's unrealistic but i do think while he's not ready to verbalize it, the trauma bond is too strong to not feel a type of way, yknow?

AS YOU SAID: THEM. This was very much my season 2 under the table scene. Loved writing this one. BABYDOLL!! BABY BOYYY

The how old do you think I am came from a very real place because when I looked up Michael's age and saw 43 i was JUST STARING LIKE WHHUUHH??? I was considering doing a little one sided crush action-- But these two have a full driver's license having TEEN BETWEEN THEM-- IT'S A NO, IT'S A NO FROM MIKEY AND ME DOG, But at least homie hopper made it!!!

So much lore dumping in one chapter-- If Carmen just waited two seconds he could've read it all in this chapter instead of having that fight smh

"WE BEEN SAYING" WHEN IN THE SAME ASK YOU SAID ICE CHIPS LDFKSFDNLS but yes, you did in fact be saying. that cannot be denied. YOU CAUGHT ME!!!

as always thank you so much for your thoughts i love u UNTIL NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GO WILL I BE BACK? probably but I really shouldn't i should really get ready for work tommorow and get a full nights sleep. but. but. answering asks,,,,, this is my hell

[uriekukistan]

HI! I missed interaction last weekend (😔) but I am here now!

Firstly though☝🏻 I hope you’re getting some good rest! And I hope you’ve had a great week :)

Anyway I am kinda just here to say how much I appreciate your fics (I thought about leaving a comment on one of your fics but this is kinda generally applicable so) and like ikyk bc I don’t shut up but I guess this is also a thank you since we get to read it all for free 🫨

Like something about your writing just really does it for me so I thought a lot about why that is and I have to say I do really really appreciate how in your writing you don’t over explain stuff and just get on with the story yknow, like especially things that can just be inferred as the story is being told. I think you’re amazing at the whole show and not tell thing. And that’s just one of the reasons why your writing feels very engaging and immersive for me. Like I’ve kinda said this before but it’s really like snuggling in bed and tuning into your fav weekly tv show or sometimes like watching a movie in a cold dark cinema with popcorn and soda (or whatever your choice of movie theatre snack is) and I mean that in the best way possible.

Anyway can I say Ch 10 of Seeing Red is my fav chapter opening ever (like you cooked a 3 Michelin star meal there)(I didn’t even leave a comment on that ch I think, I’m horrible 😔). + once I finally got through make me feel alive like you I ended up reading it about like 5 more times lmao. I think I also go back to a poison tree quite a lot it’s a fav for me every time I read it I’m like o:

This is starting to turn into a love letter so I’ll leave it at that but THANK YOU! Whether it’s angst or fluff I enjoy all your work <3

liz i like teared up when you sent this (checks notes) five days ago, sorry for taking a while to get back im just Horrible at reacting to things like this <//3

honestly thank YOU for being so supportive on all my fics :') it so so so means the world to me fr that you appreciate my writing sm to not only leave comments/kudos on my work but also send asks like this i just ljdfghkdfgfkd

but im glad you think my writing is immersive bc i think i've mentioned before, but i cant visualize things well. like everything is sorta fuzzy, like looking through frosted glass or smth T_T so thank you sm for saying that <3

also a poison tree and make me feel alive like you are like. lowkey two of my fav fics i've posted (maybe not very lowkey for a poison tree, im quite proud of that one), so i'm glad you enjoy those as much as i do

anyway thank you for saying this, it means sm. you are one of my dearest mutuals and friends on here and i hope you only get good things in life <3333

[panda-of-the-trash]

gimme some vines to draw/nf

Hi welcome to chilis

I heard you were talking shit about me

Wouldn´t you like to know weatherboy

I love you bitch, never gonna stop loving you bitch

Stop I could´ve dropped my croissant

Hey i´m a lesbian I thought you were american

Huriance katrina more like huricane tortilla

What the fuck is up kyle

How´s it feels to be the worst cop ever. Shut up your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos. You fucking take that back

And they were roommates (of course)

Is there anything better than puss, yes a really good book

Road work ahead, yeah I sure hope it does

2 bros coiling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they´re not gay (I love you anthony)

We all die you either kill yourself or get killed *funky dance* what you gonna do

Hi i´m Derek welcome to pizza hut, lemme guess pizza *faints*

Freshavocado

I thought you were bae, turns out you´re just fem. BRUH

SAIL OOO *breaks piano with foot*

This one´s to end racism *misses basketball hoop*

Back at it again with crispy kreme

Why are you running? Why are you running?

Hey you okay? Yeah just lately I haven´t been able to think straight (balls, tow guys holding hands, but, wiener)

I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

You cannt sit with us. Actually meghan I can´t sit anywhere I have ✨️hemorhoids✨️

That was legitness, yeah it was

*yeets frisbee into oncoming traffic* what the fuck richard

Fuck off Janet, i´m not going to your fucking baby shower

Yeah go ahead and pull it through *cat tugs cord through cabinet hole* thanks bud

Did you wash the dishes? I thought you wanted to do them. HmHmHm you were wrong

A potato flew around my room before you AAAAAAAA *wild screaming as potato on flies on ceiling fan*

Look dad it´d the good cush. This is the dollar store how good can it be

Well when life gives you lemons

*kid wiping baby powder all over himself* go away GO AWAY

*man dances with squeaky chicken toy and carbord sing that says love* love yourself accept yourself

Hi i´m ranasha bliss and i´m your freestyle dance teacher *freestyle*

Ah fuck, I cant´ believe you done this

There´s more but my head it not working

If anyone has more to add go on lmao

[actuallyitsstar]

Top Gun for the fandom ask game?

✨ send me a fandom and i'll answer with the following!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ maverick! this is kind of a given i suppose. but he's my blorbo alright. i have 193748458 thoughts abt him Every Single Day Unfortunately and every other fic and gifset/edit idea i have typically winds up including him somehow lol

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ this one was really stumping me for a while bc idk tbh but if i am very real it's probably also maverick 😭 when will i stop being predictable lmao aaaaa. my second choice for this spot is bradley and this is why i struggled so much to pick an answer lol

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ phoenix !!!! phoenix is my girl !!! my beloved !!! i want her to have everything nice. i want her to smack everyone else upside the head with a bat for being stupid. but she shouldnt have to bc theyre all adults and she is their peer and not their mom and i do actually rly respect how tgm treats her as the same as the others and doesn't dress her in weird skimpy outfits on the beach or have her lifting hella emotional baggage for the men or etc. she is so smart and capable and straightforward and determined and i love her <3 the near-tie for this spot is slider. i love slider. he has such a Vibe . takes no shit but he won't let YOU take shit either. we stan a man.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ tbh? viper. idk what it is about him. He is So Yes. I want to Know More About Him. i want to know how well he knew duke mitchell. i want to know if he stayed up nights feeling responsible for that because duke died saving him, among others. i want to know how long it took for him to move past it or if he ever did. i want him to talk to maverick about this commonality they have and not say stupid shit like 'there will be others' bc shut the fuck up akdhjdjkfhfgj but yeah idk. need to write abt him sometime for sure <3 my second choice for this is carole because she has like maybe an aggregated minute of time on screen and owns my wholeass heart somehow anyway. i want her to have only nice things and happiness and she doesn't get a lot of credit but she's so kind and capable and determined and i stan her tbh

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ unpopular no, problematic yes: hangman. he's controversial. he's pathetic. he's an asshole. he's incorrigible. he's everyone's favorite bitch. what can i say. i want to undo him like a clock and take out all the gears and find out how he works. i cant fix him but i CAN make him worse. and one of these days i will. (ok ok AND ill try to fix him too i guess. if i must).

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ this is hangman again unfortunately. and also mav. and also bradley. alkdhjfkfhfkjgh i am a goblin

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ sorry cyclone im sure ur secretly a big softy but u are going to have to go down the superhell pipe this time <3