#I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH IS 'Have you found the blood yet?' MY FAV LINE OF THE ENTIRE SPECIAL

[tired-demonspawn]

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW AMAZING ZENO ROBINSON'S VOICE ACTING IS IN THANKS TO THEM

like it has always been a 10/10 with all them panic attacks and such, but now its like a 12/10?????

like here???

when luz said to "bring back the masked confidence" i didnt expect him to actually pull out the inflection he has at the beginning of s2!

absolutely magnificent!

and don't even get me STARTED on when belos starts possessing him and my guY FCKN BRINGS OUT BELOS' TONE, HIS INFLECTION. basically EVERYTHING that makes you think "belos" when someone speaks... WITHOUT THE ACCENT.

THATS THE BEST PART!!!

like okay THIS LINE specifically.

the lil thing he has before is also magnificent since even without the creepy music you can TELL smthn is up since the tone is a little off(+ he doesnt call flapjack by his name), but like not off enough that you feel like luz is weird for not sus(ඞ)sing it out.

BUT THEN, belos starts getting a little impatient, a little frustrated, since he's struggling for control, and THATS when the thing that i was talking about b4 fucking SHINES. like THIS is how you voice act!

and when its mixed with the video? oh there are no boundaries of just how massively cool this scene is.

like we can comfortably deduce that belos took over and was trying to act like hunter, then, when hunter tries to wrestle control from him he slips up a little. letting his own inflection shine through. then finally he gives up the illusion of being hunter altogether and trades it for more control over him(more goop over hunters body).

thank you for coming to my unhinged ramblings ted talk :)

[lokeansuz]

my recent herby favs

howdy all, i'm trying a new thing where i'm writing about my herbal practice on my blog. i've been working with a number of plants for a while now and have developed a few close relationships. a note that i am a baby herbalist and not a medical practitioner, and i can not and do not want to give medical or personalized herbal advice to you in this format. this is my experience with these herbs in my body, every body is different so your mileage may vary. this is just me exploring the ways these plants have felt in my body! i am sharing potential medical risks about these herbs both as practice and so that if you seek these herbs out you are informed. i cannot stress this enough, talk to your doctor if you have medications that can interact with these herbs! i feel an abundantly cautious take is appropriate as i am posting to a broad audience. i encourage you to read the post in full. if this is well received, perhaps i will add to the post!

wood betony - stachys officinalis - cool, dry, relaxing - this is a cooling relaxant nervine that i started working with 4 months ago or so, perhaps longer? this plant is an excellent ally to any grounding practice. this is a big portion of the tea my mentor Kenton Cobb formulated, which is how i was introduced to stachys. the tea they formulated i have dubbed the "you are here" tea. i think betony being a big part of it really drove that formula. but the idea is that you are neither back there on the trail, nor up ahead yet. you are here on the map. while it's good to consider the past's context, and to plan for the future, you are here, man! take it in. i associate this herb with the rune jara, which i associate heavily with enjoying the moment. this herb is also known as a warding herb. i found that my gut intuition was a lot easier to listen to when i had this tea. maybe that's a coincidence, but i do feel it helped me tune in to my body better. the taste is mildly bitter, and easy to drink as is or cover with rose, lavender, tulsi, chamomile, hibiscus and a number of other herb friends. i find betony to be most supportive to the "trauma doom spiral" as i call it. i have ptsd and can experience intense symptoms like flashbacks. i find that betony, especially when formulated with rose, linden and tulsi (read further down to cinnamon's blood sugar warning, this herb acts that way, too), really help settle me back down enough to think through what i need to do to take care of myself. i've also noticed this plant to settle my stomach when taken as a simple! my favorite way to consume betony is in a strong infusion. i have tried anywhere from 5g to 30g infused into a quart french press for anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 plus hours of steeping. an overnight infusion, while strong, is a great way to start the day. especially paired with a mindful yoga practice. my mentor Kenton also recommended to me to pair this herb with a moment of box breathing and my goodness, it is relieving. also consider starting it at the beginning of your day, and come home to betony's open arms. there is an old saying... sell your coat, buy betony! i will say, i could have bought a nice coat with how much money i have spent on betony up to this point. i would highly recommend this herb as an addition to an herbal and witchy practice!

(source: https://rotarybotanicalgardens.org/wood-betony-stachys-officinalis/)

ginger - zingiber officinale - warm, dry, relaxing i have been working with this plant basically since i started with my school in winter of 2022. oh my goodness do i love this plant, and i have a Story. the first time i made this zingy tincture, i made it as a simplers from fresh with 95% everclear which was a Choice for sure. the heat of ginger coupled with the hot hot nature of strong alcohol, woo! and i made like. a 4 cups of tincture so i am very slowly working through it. i usually take .5-1 tsp of tincture and pour a few tablespoons of water and take a shot. i find this herb amazing and work with it with a bunch of applications. i love ginger when i am experiencing pelvic cramping or gut cramping. frankly, the pelvic floor is all bound up in its innervation as i have learned from my ob/gyn. it can be hard to distinguish low gas cramping or constipation pain from bladder pain from uterine pain. it's interesting and rather annoying for those of us with lots of pelvic tension. mine is a result of my hrt, the pelvic floor has the capacity to effectively 'hulk out' on T. one could say that ginger is a very trans friendly herb. it can also increase circulation down there which can relieve menstrual cramping, internally as well as externally. for those who feel dysphoria due to cramping as a reminder of manstruation, ginger is a great ally. anyways, i find anything feeling crampy and achey down in that bowl of pain is eased by ginger. especially when paired with 5-10 drops of lobelia tincture (lobelia inflata). this dose, paired with ginger, applies to menstrual cramping in my body. though i am a big body and take 10-15 drops of lobelia. be mindful that lobelia is nauseating in high doses, (7-10+ drops for most) but some can be nauseated with just a few drops. i encourage you to experiment with low doses (3-5 drops, lower if you get sick easy) before bumping up to maintain comfort. GINGER! i also love ginger for its topical relaxant properties, i have applied the tincture and the paste (literally from the grocery store) before , and it feels nice and warming as well as relaxing. be mindful if you do this to pay attention to how it feels on your body, if it gives a burning sensation then definitely remove it. i also take this herb for nausea induced by my medications, but have taken it for nausea caused by illness as well. a decoction brewed of fresh rhizome (a thumb of fresh thin slices or grated) for 30 minutes on a simmer. i love to pick and choose and brew any of the following: honey, green tea, chamomile, rose, tulsi (blood sugar warning), linden, cinnamon (blood sugar warning), chai spices in general and using it to flavor just about anything a little icky. looking at you, elecampane. this tea is wonderful for when i am feeling particularly gassy and tight in my abdomen. to top it all off, when i work with ginger, i let go just a little. it can take the edge off of my tension in 1+ tsp doses. cook it into food to dispel gas before you have it! curries, ginger baked goods, infused honey and candied ginger is another of my favorites for similar reasons as the tea. and they are delightful! a medicine in its own right. i also love the way this herb builds heat in my body. ifi really want to raise energy, like for a walk in the cold rain, i will do a shot of dilute tincture to get myself going. perhaps a way to raise energy in a witchy way? hmm... a warning: taking medicinal doses of this herb can thin the blood, do not take this if you are on blood thinning medications! also, if you are prone to overheating (i am because of certain medications) or have a hot and/or dry constitution, balance this herb with cooling moistening herbs such as... LINDEN!

(source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginger)

linden - tilia americana - cool, moist, relaxant

oh i sing my praises to thee, linden! though this mild taste may not wow you, this plant is profoundly relaxing to the nerves and hydrating to the tissues of the body. i love this tea as a long infusion, i have brewed linden usually in quantities of 5-10 grams in a quart french press. i pour over boiling water, stick it in the fridge, and fetch it after a day at work or overnight. also known as basswood, i love to brew linden with rose and cinnamon. (mind cinnamon, it has insulin lowering capacity, you gotta watch your blood sugar closely while taking this herb and work with your doctor and if you can't feasibly do that, i would not work with it). back to linden, i find that this herb is best for me after a long day, especially one where i have been overwhelmed and on the fritz. actually, better yet, i prefer to drink it when i expect to have a bullshitty day. it seems to ward off the worst of my tension, emotionally and physiologically. this herb is beautifully moistening, i like to let it thicken (naturally occurring polysaccharides cause this effect). it is most moistening when steeped in a long infusion. i find that when i drink it regularly, my lips are smooth, my cuticles are nice and pretty, and i am less prone to dehydration headaches. i often forget to drink enough, i have trouble paying attention to my body's cues due to being neurodivergent. if you are like me that way, and forget to drink enough, this tea can help compensate for that. i find that a relaxing nervine like this can also bring you down into your body and help you pay better attention to it. the effect is twofold! i have not worked with linden as a tincture yet, for i seek the moistening qualities the most. i have also worked with this tea topically and with the marc in a cheesecloth on my eczema. the cooling moistening properties help to soften and soothe the irritation. often, i get screwed with topical fragrance because i am extremely sensitive and sometimes my only soap option in a public restroom gives me eczema for a week booo) but linden helps! so does my topical salve, i will have to write a post about it sometime soon. linden has tended to my anxiety gently, i find that at work this tea is nice to sip when suzanne is going off about how terrible vaccines are, how trees move at night (really! there was a facebook video!) and the dangers of hrt. so yeah if that made you scrunch your face up remembering a coworker, this tea may be for you. it may also be for you if you feel frazzled and restless after a long day, as it can soothe that nervous tension that keeps you tossing and turning at night. this tea is also supportive to the cardiovascular system. i have to wonder if the primary way the linden eases anxiety is through relaxing the cardiovascular system and soothing the heart. it's an amphoteric, it can bring down blood pressure when necessary, and raise it when it is lower. last but not least, this herb (a tree, but trees are herbs i think!) smells wonderful and looks beautiful. it blooms in june in my area and walking beneath them is magical. stick your face in some blossoms if you ever get the chance.

(source: me!)

anyways, these are a few of my favorite herbs these days. i hope that you enjoyed reading and perhaps gleaned some ideas from this podcast. i want to promote the school i study at, check out commonwealth holistic herbalism's school site and find their podcast on spotify! and apple i think? i don't use it.

take really good care of yourselves <3

[createandconstruct]

My fav scene in FF9, is right at the end of burmecia when Beatrix party wipes you. Up until that point you felt like a hero (through Zidane generally) who is galavanting through a fantasy world. Yeah there are dark aspects like in the village of Dali, the war, and why the black waltz exist. But they are all things you could overcome with enough grit, can do attitude, and a bit of luck. But in Burmecia things are different, the devestation already happened, the heroes weren't there. And throughout this Freya is struggling between her guilt and pain at leaving to chase after her love, only to come back to the place she once protected covered in death and destruction. Even Zidane can't pull a brave face, its bleak and clearly so.

And then we finally see Beatrix, the woman who stole Fratley from Freya, standing and taking orders from the queen and her assistany as if she was some common knave. And I think that thought is what spurred Freya on, the fact the woman who turned Freya's world grey was just a lapdog to the queen.

During the fight proper, I imagine Freya being filled with too much fury to think logically. Zidane knows Beatrix, everyone does, and he's only fighting to stop his friend from killing herself upon Beatrix's sword. And then, all of that didn't matter.

Thats the most amazing, and horrific part. None of it mattered to Kuja, Brahne, or Beatrix, just another interruption (obviously Kuja was enjoying the show, but it wasn't pivotal to him.) And we as the player feel just as helpless, as powerless, and in some cases just as weak was Freya was feeling. It is such a good and poignant way to get the players to emphasize with the characters and doesn't feel heavy handed/forced.

This is such an absolutely perfect analysis of why Burmecia is such a potent part of FFIX. The only thing I can add to this phenomenal breakdown is my own experience which I think reflects how well the game forces the player to feel the tonal shift that comes from Burmecia. And how it does so using Garnet and Zidane's argument after the Harvest Festival.

I remember playing the game for the first time and during Disc 1, when the Burmecia soldier crawls his way into the royal chambers to inform Cid and Lindblum of the attack on Burmeica, and absolutely not jiving with Zidane's perspective and attitude towards Garnet. Garnet demands to come with him and Freya to Burmecia so that she can confront her mother and hopefully stop the war that has already begun. We've been given small hints that Brahne's plans for Garnet are maybe not entirely good-natured and motherly (calling her 'wretched girl' not great mothering) but there isn't any true evidence of malice, yet. The Black Waltzes that came before also all spared Garnet of any harm and so as a player (at least for me) its possible to think that Garnet could be the one person to stop Brahne.

Also, at this point, Garnet has been an integral member of the party as a healer and she's been struggling with her own shortcomings that you want to see her overcome. Despite her work and effort, her own planning and consideration for Alexandria and her mother weren't as original as she thought. Cid was steps ahead of her, already planning to evacuate her from Alexandria (and it was not for plans of collaboration with her on how to stop war but instead to keep her safe from it). And so Garnet argues to come along so she doesn't get left behind and anyone who doesn't want to lose their healer would agree. As Brahne's daughter she could be the one person who can talk sense into the war-bound woman. The tone of the game at this point makes it seem like a possible card that could be played.

Yet for the first time Zidane says no. And as the player I found the way he spoke to her condensing and his argument lacking. And you're exactly right: with enough grit what can't the party face? They've done it thus far after all. That's what's running through the players ahead. Instead Zidane doesn't exude that confidence. He simply asks Garnet how she felt seeing the soldier die and questions her attitude in the face of war, which she has never experienced. Even freaking Steiner agrees with Zidane, after Garnet has knocked out the party, telling her its not her battle to join, and one he would never wish her to. Without Ultimania's added info to Steiner's character you could interpret it that Steiner once served as a solider for Alexandria in the previous Gaian wars however it makes sense that now (with Ultimania) he was speaking of his experience as a child orphaned by war. We later see that Garnet does take some of this heart as she doesn't venture to Burmecia but instead to Alexandira so she can directly face the source of the problem and avoid the battlefield.

During this whole scene I was on Garnet's side and I think the game intends you to be. At this point Zidane has been swinging and missing with her because of his own developing feelings and insecurities (he pulls a line on her that he used on another girl, uses a date with her as a reward for Vivi, and then seemingly looks down on her) all while Garnet has been faced with the limits of her title and her own power as person. By the start of the war, Garnet and Zidane aren't on the same page and as a player you can feel that, it just depends on who you side with. Though tonally, it feels right to side with Garnet. Her view of war (or specifically her mother) and your ability to overcome it as the player are in tune.

And so you have the original core party splitting in half. It's awesome to watch Garnet declare and fight for her own agency in this conflict, doing all she can to save her mother, kingdom, and others from this brewing war. It's refreshing to see a female character fight back when male characters stress her naivety and ignorance, and there's expectation that the characters will all reach Burmecia together and Garnet will prove Zidane and the others wrong.

But... then you reach Gizmaluke's Grotto. Bodies litter the entrance and your path. You make your way through and hit Disc 2 and after we learn that Garnet and Steiner have aimed their path towards Alexandria (unbeknownst to Zidane and co.) the fun lighthearted fantasy world ends. The battles you could take single-handedly are over. You find North Gate which Freya declares smells of blood and smoke and you walk your way to the gates of Burmecia....

...and you understand Zidane's words. When that soldier crawled his way to Lindblum, only to die at everyone's feet, war had already begun. While the party waits for the gate of Burmecia to open innocent people have already been killed and are being killed. When you visit North Gate before the Ice Cavern Alexandria has raised its war banner, and now they have attacked. There is no matter of convincing Brahne of anything, at this point, she must be stopped. Yet when you arrive at Burmecia you're already far too late. A kingdom and its people have been decimated. The corpses of citizens are strewn about in the city streets. Zidane only prays Garnet hadn't come this way.

At some point when reflecting on the game I realized the weight behind Zidane's original words I had found condescending towards Garnet. He questions her feeling of sadness towards war because he knows his own. He's afraid. At the prospect of war even Zidane is scared and by walking through the ruins of Freya's home, you know why. Watching Beatrix, Brahne, and Kuja think nothing of the loss and destruction they've caused you know why. The game shows you the true colors of war and while Garnet knows the significance she does not know (or rather cannot yet remember) the experience of it which is why she can still face her mother, the perpetrator, with hope of change and pacifism. Such a realization hit me hard. Add it to the list of why FFIX is incredible.

[getalittlecountry]

First Time Again (6)

Ha. my idea of posting a chapter a week sorely fell through. But here’s chapter six. Seven is my fav so far (you’ll find out why soon!)

One Two Three Four Five

Chapter 6

It was cold and dark wherever I was. I couldn't feel Cassian at all. My chest felt hollow, like he had been ripped away. Like our bond had been broken. I would've panicked, if I could. But the shadows swirled and the cold deeper into my bones. My body wasn’t responding the way it normally would. My heart didn’t pound, my hands weren’t shaking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to see through the haze.

This wasn't real and yet it was. Because I heard that sickening laughter again.

"Well it took you long enough," Tomas stood beside the shadow that had touched me. How I knew it was the same one I wasn't sure.

If it could have done so, my heart would have sped up in that moment. But I knew it’s didn’t matter, Cassian couldn't feel it. I couldn’t feel him so he more than likely couldn’t feel me. We had been connected for a few days and it felt so unreal to be a single person again. To not have that second heart beat beside mine. I looked at Tomas and I realized that this was his doing.

Whatever that thing was, it had poisoned me. It had interfered with our bond.

I glared, trying to stay strong. To make them believe I wasn’t afraid. But I was, I had no idea how to get out of whatever this was. Was this a dream? Did I have the ability to wake myself up? Would he be able to hurt me in this cold white room?

I always thought in a moment of stress, a moment where nothing made sense, the first question should never be where am I? But suddenly I understood every book character who had ever been kidnapped. Because in this moment, with the cold and the shadows surrounding me, all I cared about was finding out where I was.

I stood up straighter and crossed my arms over my chest, “what is this place? Where are we? What are you doing?"

Tomas laughed only answering one of my many questions, "I'm warning you. We can do this the easy way, Nes. Or the hard way."

"Do what? Where are we?” I strained the question once more.

His eyes sparkled, "the shadow world. It belongs to us. Nes. You and me. But you have to break the bond with Cassian. You have to choose me."

"No." I pulled away when he reached for me. My entire body rebelled at the idea of Tomas putting his hands on me. "No. I belong to Cassian. Tomas just stop please. This is tiring."

He sighed, "you chose me once. A long time ago. But then somehow Cassian was crafted and you two grew together. I thought this time would be different. I guess it's the hard way then."

I closed my eyes wishing for Cassian. I wanted his warmth, his steady heart beat mirroring mine, "Tomas. I'll do whatever you want please just stop. Don’t hurt him, he means the world to me. You have to understand. Whatever this imprint is, it cannot be broken."

He laughed. It was evil, "oh it can. I will find a way. But just remember when you can't find your sisters. When your entire world is stripped away. Remember that you chose the hard way."

"I choose no way! Tomas just let us be happy," my voice broke as the shadow laughed. There was a tear in my voice, tears in my eyes, “if you care about me at all, just let me be happy. Cassian. He makes me happy.”

Tomas didn’t even flinch as he watched me try to pull myself back together. The shadow was watching, it looked amused if that was possible. It’s face was dark and hollow, expressions seemed lost on it. That made me angry. I glared at the thing the best I could. It took a step closer, shadows swirling around it. The temperature dropped as I tried and failed to stand up to it.

The thing reached out, black tendrils that were supposed to be like fingers touched my cheek. I could feel it’s emptiness, it’s cold straight down to my core as it sighed, "you have no idea what you're doing little girl. We've waited a long time for this version of you."

"Tell me about my past life. Why are Cassian and I different this time? What's going to happen?"

The shadow laughed and again I felt it in my bones. It was cold and disgusting. His shadow fingers still icicles against my skin, "oh no little girl. I won't give away our secrets. But just know that this time you're less... durable than before. More human, less them."

"Cassian is going to be okay right?"

"He usually is. He lets you take the fall."

Tomas sighed, "which is why I'm going to stop it this time. You and me Nesta. We're meant to be the precious ones. We're meant to rule this land, instead of ours."

He held his arms up and the darkness filled with light. Wherever this world was it was dying. There was no color, the warmth all gone. Shadows flew around, watching us. Their faces were a mix between pain and amusement. They looked trapped in this world, longing to find peace or to go back to wherever they had come from. Goose bumps raised on my arms, I felt the prickle of them on the back of my next. I didn't want to be here, this wasn't where I belonged. And even though he was horrible it wasn't where Tomas belonged either.

"This isn't where we're supposed to be, Tomas. We're people, human. We're meant to be where the sun shines."

"I'll gladly trade the human world if it means I get to spend eternity with you."

He reached for me, but I took a step back. I didn't get very far, my foot slipped on bones. I swallowed a scream as Tomas grabbed me, his hand burning where he touched my wrist. His fingers wrapped around my small wrist tightly, claiming me as well as helping me. I winced, the burn getting worse as he steadied me. Then he pulled me into his chest.

I didn’t miss the hiss of pain he let out from touching me. He winced as he fingers moved onto my clothing, off of my skin. It hurt him as much as that black mark had hurt me.

"I'll change your mind," he whispered, his fingers brushing my cheek.

I pushed him away, a black mark circled my wrist, "go to hell."

He laughed again, "oh my sweet Nesta. Don't you see? We're already there."

I shook my head, suddenly realizing this was a dream. It had to be, this place couldn’t be real. I needed to wake up, I wanted to scream. My wrist burned from whatever he had done when he touched me. I closed my eyes and tried to wake up, but I felt heavy. I felt dragged down by this world.

"Let me out of here. Wherever I am."

My voice was weak and I was defeated. I winced as I struggled to stay standing up on my wobbly legs. I took in a deep breath and once again wished for Cassian. But I couldn't pull him, I couldn't find him. I rubbed at my wrist, trying to erase the mark Tomas had put there.

I swallowed more tears trying to be strong.

I felt something flutter then, as the shadow next Tomas let out a loud booming laugh and then shot into the sky. Tomas took a step closer to me and I shook my head.

"Don't you dare come near me."

He sighed, "I thought this would be easier Nesta. Can't you see? Cassian is our curse. He's killing you."

"I love him," I said the words without thinking, "I have always loved him. Why can't you just be happy for us?"

"Because I love you."

"You don't even know me," I countered, watching his face fall. Then slowly he smiled.

"I know you better than that brute. I watched you, for the last fifteen years I've gotten to know you. You built a wall around your heart to take care of your sisters. You work day and night at that terrible bar to keep your house, to put Feyre through school. You wouldn't date because your sisters needed you more than you needed someone else. You're kind and loyal. You're beautiful."

I shuttered, the idea of Tomas in the shadows watching me live my life was repulsive. He had literally been in the shadows waiting, watching. It made my skin crawl, "you know Nesta, but you don't know me. Cassian knows my heart, even before this supernatural thing brought us together. He's my best friend, Tomas. Please just let me go."

He was standing so close I gasped when I looked into his eyes. His nose was almost touching mine. I winced as his breath hit me, "I'll let you go this time. Soon my dear, you and me will be together. And I'll have you begging me to free you from Cassian."

My eyes were hard, "I hardly doubt that. You're a little boy. Cassian is a man."

Tomas laughed again, "keep telling yourself that. Oh and give Feyre my best. Tamlin can't wait to see her again."

My breath released in a whoosh. My blood turned as cold as the room. Tamlin had been out of our lives for almost two years now. I couldn't handle him hurting my sister again.

"I see the wheels turning. Yes Nes," his lips almost touched my cheek, "I have a plan. No one is safe. Especially the people you love the most.”

The shadow moved swift and fast, I didn’t hear him as he touched me once more. His shadow fingers curled around my hair and then slowly ran across my scalp. I shivered, feeling empty inside. The cold was filling the space where Cassian had once been. I tried to hold onto the memory of my mate’s warmth. Of his laughter, of the love we felt for each other even before this imprint had happened.

The shadow hissed, as if the imprint, what I felt for Cassian, pained him. He pinched my skin hard and then he pressed his hand against my chest as my eyes found Tomas.

His laugh was the last thing I heard before my legs gave out and the darkness swallowed me once again.

——

Cassian's voice woke me. It was soft and he was trying to whisper, but I felt it vibrate through me. He had never been good at keeping quiet. His deep voice boomed even when we were little. His fingers were in my hair, my body wasn't burning anymore. I could feel him again, inside my chest. His heart was trying to steady mine as I came back into my body, as I found him again. I pulled on the bond, it was there, bright and burning. Relief flooded through me; I could feel him again, he was my anchor in this world. I let out a soft sigh, his warmth and comfort seeping into me.

I curled my fingers around his shirt and he stopped talking. "Nesta."

My eyes fluttered open and he let out a sigh of relief as our bodies finally opened back up to each other. He pulled me into a hug, whatever he had been talking about with his father and uncle didn't matter. I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed him in.

"I thought I was dying," I whispered as he crushed me against him, "I thought he was you. How could I be so stupid?"

He laughed, "because he had a pretty good face on," he whispered pushing my hair out of my face. I leaned back and put my hand against his cheek.

Something nudged at my mind. Something I was supposed to remember, to tell him. But it was caught on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't remember what had happened after the shadow pulled me under. I remembered pain and poison. I remembered a fever and Cassian's touch not helping. I remembered being so cold it hurt to breath. But I couldn't remember anything else.

And whatever it was nagging at me, I knew it was important. I sighed giving up for the moment and focusing on Cassian, who looked as drained as I felt.

"How long did I sleep?"

"All night," I ran my finger over the bags under his eyes, "Lucien and I took turns watching you. But I had to keep touching you. He said it was the only way to ensure the poison didn't take over. Are you okay? Do you remember anything? You kept crying out in your sleep, reaching for me.”

I shook my head, “I can’t remember,” I whispered softly before I curled into him and he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my cheek and I realized his uncle and father were still watching. I blushed as Cassian laughed slightly, his thumb brushing against my back.

"Nesta. I'm so glad you're okay," Lucien spoke first. He cleared his throat, "can you. Tell us about the shadow? Do you know why he hurt you?"

I shook my head, "he said it wasn't the last we've seen of him.”

Lucien looked at Beron, who pursed his lips. Clearly they had been talking about what had happened before I woke up. I was pulling at my brain, trying and failing to remember whatever had happened while I was out. I sighed as Cassian nudged me, telling me to stop trying and to rest. I felt drained, more tired than I had been when the poison had gotten into my system.

Cassian kissed my cheek, “I won’t let that happen again Nesta. We’ll think of a code or something, but I will not let something take you away from me. Not something as disgusting as that shadow, or Tomas.”

I nodded, tears filling my eyes as I remembered it holding me down, not stopping when I pushed it away. Cassian squeezed my thigh. He would never push me to something I wasn’t ready to do. It’s one of the reasons I was falling in love with him. I shouldn’t known from that moment it wasn’t my mate touching me. My body should’ve screamed and alerted me to whatever that thing was.

I blamed myself. I felt guilty for getting sucked under it’s spell.

"Cassian! Nesta!" Mor ran into the room and broke the tension, "oh thank god. Az told me what happened and I was worried. You're all right?"

"Yeah I'm okay," I leaned further into Cassian, still tired from my restless sleep, "thanks to Cassian."

“Mor was with your sisters. We sent her to stay at your house in case that shadow had other plans," Beron explained as I realized I hadn't thought of them until this moment.

"They're okay?"

Cassian squeezed my knee, "they're fine. They know you're with me and that we fell asleep. We didn't tell them about you getting sick or anything."

I laughed, "and they were just okay with Mor staying there with them? What did you tell them?”

Mor smiled, "they thought I was entertaining. I told them I was looking for you, that we had plans and asked if I could just wait with them. Elain is so sweet she showed me her garden. Don’t worry they know you’re fine.”

I groaned. This was all so crazy, I wondered what my sisters thought had happened to me. They knew I wouldn’t just fall asleep with Cassian without letting them know, "I can't believe I thought that thing was you. He was hurting me and you would never hurt me. You would've known if it wasn't me."

"Shh," Cassian kissed my temple, "it happened and it's over. You're okay, and my dad and uncle are going to figure this out. They told me to focus on you, to keep protecting you. So that's what I'm going to do."

I nodded, "okay."

Cassian was quiet, his mind was a mess of emotions. His worry and need to protect me was the biggest one. But as he looked at me I felt him wonder about the moment before I passed out on him. I could barely read whatever it was he was thinking, but it was there.

"Nesta," he blew out a breath. I realized everyone had left us alone. I was grateful our audience had left, "before you passed out, you uh. You told me something."

I blushed, I barely remembered anything after that creature attacked me. But I heard his memory, I knew what he was talking about. I blushed, unsure of what to tell him.

"Cass. I um. I wasn't in control with the poison."

He nodded, his hair falling around his face, "I know. And I know I promised we would go slow. But right now, after what happened, I need to tell you. I love you Nesta Acheron. I always have, even when I was seven years old and I thought you had cooties. I loved you then and I love you now. I never told you before they took me away. And then last night when you were burning up and sick I was scared I'd lose you again, before I had a chance to tell you."

He paused, his chest rising quickly, "and I know you. I know you're afraid of love, you're afraid of needing someone. This bond doesn't make it any easier for you, I know. It's okay if you don't say it back. I just want you to know that I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for years. In this moment and for the rest of our lives, my heart belongs to you."

I smiled, a small tear escaped the corner of my eye. I took in a deep breath, "Cassian. I was scared I'd lose you last night too. And I care about you, so much it's all I can think about. But I'm not. I can't say it yet," his face didn't fall, "but you're there inside my heart. I promise you always have been."

He leaned down and kissed me, "I'll take it," he smiled as he pressed his forehead to mine, "I'll break down those walls, Nesta. One of these days you'll realize you don't need to hide behind them."

I cupped his cheek in my hand, "I know.” I sat up slowly, “so what did you go back to the car for?"

Cassian blushed, "I um. Bought this a long time ago because it reminded me of you. And I wanted to give it to you. I carried it around to all the places I went and in a way I felt like you were there too.”

He moved away from me and pulled a long silver chain out of his pocket. At the end was a little silver angel, holding a sword. The sunlight hit it through the window and it sparkled. I gasped, the wings were so detailed, ridges were etched into them by hand. I ran my finger over them. Tears filled my eyes.

"Cassian."

"It called to me. I was walking the streets of New Mexico, barely sixteen and I stopped at this table. I had spent the last ten years trying to forget you. And then it was there staring at me and your name fell off my lips. It made me think of you. I even named her Nesta. She was my good luck charm, my guardian angel. And I knew if I ever saw you again she belonged with you."

He slipped the chain over my neck and she settled against my chest. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever given me. The fact that Cassian carried it for six years before it found its way to me, made it even sweeter. I wasn’t big on jewelry, but if something had sentiment, it was perfect for me. I smiled slightly, the feelings of the poison starting to fade. I leaned into him and kissed him softly.

"I love it," I whispered, touching her again, "I rename her Nessian. For you and me."

Cassian laughed, "whatever you say love."

He grew quiet as I looked down at my new angel. It was beautiful and I couldn't believe he had remembered me the way I had remembered him. All those years ago across the country and I had still played on his mind. Maybe the world truly had crafted us for each other.

I took in a breath and I realized he was worrying. Something about me. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"You were so helpless last night, I couldn't do anything to ease your pain. And I can't stop thinking about what Lucien isn't telling us. That we don't always make it."

I put my hand against his cheek, "you want him to tell us now. What happens to us."

He nodded, "I need to know so I can protect you. I won't lose you this time. I can't."

He held me tighter and I nodded, "okay. I want to know too. Last night was, terrible. I felt like I was stuck in a dark dream, like that shadow pulled me into his world and wouldn't let me go."

“I’ll talk to my dad. We can go see him now if you want. He will know how to stop whatever it is that shadow did to you, how to keep Tomas from getting into your head if that’s what happened.”

I was about to take him up on his offer when I remembered my shift at Rita’s. With everything that had been going on in my life I had forgotten about my normal job, at the local bar. Where nothing crazy happened except the run ins I always had with Tomas. Who was the whole reason my world was suddenly falling apart.

"I have to work today," I groaned as I looked at the clock, "shit in like an hour."

Cassian touched my cheek, "can you call off? I just. I don't want to let you out of my sight with this shadow thing and I'm sure you don't want me sitting at the bar all night."

I bit my lip. Calling off was something I hated to do because I lost the money. But I didn't want to leave Cassian either. And I still felt like I had been run over by a semi truck.

"No I need to work Cass. I need. To have normal along with you. So you can come and sit at the bar, but I need a day where shadows aren't hunting me."

He let out a breath, running his fingers across my cheek. "I get it. I do. Okay I'll go see my dad, he wants to talk to me about everything. You go work and call me if anything happens okay?"

I smiled, kissing him softly, "I promise you'll know if something goes wrong. The moment it does."

I pulled on a pair of shorts and then one of Cassian's white shirts. It was smaller than the rest, he must have shrunk it. I smiled at him as he came and grabbed my waist, pulling me into I'm.

"You shouldn't be allowed to wear these to work," the tips of his fingers ran down my thigh and I gasped loudly. It tickled and the feeling shot straight to my center, "I love your legs."

I giggled as he kissed me, his fingers still touching my legs, "no one sees me I'm behind the bar."

He sighed, "still. When you pulled them on I understood why Tomas is so obsessed with you."

"Yeah well you have something he doesn't," I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. I pressed my hand to his chest, "you've got my heart."

He kissed me again, "yeah. I do. I'm a pretty lucky bastard aren't I?"

"The luckiest," I whispered, rubbing my nose with his. I took in a deep breath and then pulled myself away from him, "I need to get going or I'll be late."

Cassian nodded, "okay. Yeah. I um. Can't move."

My eyes flashed, "so it's you this time."

"Seems like it."

I framed his face with my hands, his hair falling out of the tie he had thrown it up with, "Cassian. Go see your dad and let me work. I'll be fine," I kissed the corner of his mouth, "and then when I come home you can cook me dinner."

"Tease," he muttered as his hand wandered down to my butt, "I'll be waiting at your house. Unless. Something happens."

I smiled, "I know," I pressed my hand against his heart once more, "I feel you here."

Cassian reached out and adjusted my angel, it hung right at my chest, "and my angel will watch over you."

I laughed and brushed my fingers with his, "yes. Our angel. I really love it Cassian. That you thought of me all those years ago and kept this. For me. I just. No one has ever come back you know? Fifteen years and it feels like not a day has past since we've been together."

"I know," he kissed me softly, "it's beautiful."

I groaned, "I have to go Cass. I'll text you on my break okay? Keep your phone on you please."

He flashed me a smile, "you have to give me your number."

My cheeks burned when I realized I didn't have my own mates phone number. The realization hit me once more, he had only been back in my life for three days now. And he just confessed his love for me. I would’ve been scared, I would’ve been panicking, if his thumb didn’t brush my thigh in that moment. He held his phone up and I rattled off my phone number. He typed it in and then my phone vibrated. He kissed my cheek.

"Go before you're late love. I can't support us both."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm pretty sure you can. Bye Cass."

"Goodbye sweetheart."

I left the house before either of us could get carried away again. Not even a minute had passed and I already wanted to turn around and spend the day with him. We hadn't had a moment since he got home to spend as Nesta and Cassian. There was either a shadow terrorizing us or is family filling my head with more information than I could retain. I just wanted to spend a day with him, to learn who the boy I had lost had become.

I didn't realize I was clutching the angel until I was halfway to the bar.

I tried to remember my next day off. I knew I had the weekend off but I had made plans with Feyre a while ago to go shopping for school things if she did get that scholarship. Which meant she'd probably be cashing that promise in soon. I sighed, maybe Cassian would come too. Even if my sisters there we would still be together.

I made a mental note to ask him tonight over dinner.

The bar wasn't quiet when I got there, the lunch rush just settling in. Thankfully I wasn't scheduled past six. I grabbed my apron and tied it around my waist. I noticed as few eyes on my legs and I remembered the way Cassian had touched me. Maybe my shorts were a little too short.

I shook my head and started making drinks. I fell back into my normal rhythm even though my heart kept reminding me Cassian was somewhere else. I didn't think it was possible for one person to mean so much to another. But I couldn't remember how I functioned before Cassian came back.

That thought scared me. I was pouring a drink and I missed the glass, whiskey spilled on the counter top. I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. No Cassian. I tried not to think about Cassian. I was at work. We couldn't be together every minute of every day. That just wasn't possible.

"Nesta!"

Joe smiled when he saw me, even though his booming voice had startled me, making me jump, "there's my favorite bartender. I hear you've met a boy."

I rolled my eyes. Joe was like the dad I never had. He took me in and even though he paid me shit and then cut my pay even more, I still loved him. Because he did what he could, he helped me as much as he could under the table. He was half the reason why this town helped us as much as they could too. Because Joe was this town and this town loved Joe. Which meant this town also loved us.

"I didn't just meet a boy. Cassian's back," I flashed him a smile as I said my mates name, "he was my friend when we were little and he came back to see if I was still here."

"Ah young love," Joe pressed his hand against his chest, "be still my beating heart.”

I rolled my eyes. Joe knew about Cassian. Joe knew pretty much everything about my life. When I started he was the only one who cared enough to learn, to ask me who I was even though everyone knew me as one of the Acheron orphans. He learned about my sisters and my best friend being taken away. He learned how hard it was to live with my father, who was broken and beyond repair. Joe knew everything that was to know about me.

He knew how much it meant to me that Cassian was back. I could see it in his eyes, they sparkled with happiness for me.

The door chimed  before we could continue talking, and Tomas walked in. Same time every day I worked the mid shift. I let out a breath and Joe shook his head, "oh no. I've told you enough times to leave my girl be."

Tomas held up his hands, his eyes on me. Then he smirked and looked at Joe, "I'm a paying customer. I'm here for a drink, nothing else. Tell him Nesta. I mean after all you're dating my cousin now."

I blushed, "it's fine Joe. Tomas will behave himself."

Joe muttered something in Spanish and then walked away. I still felt tired from my lack of real sleep last night. I pushed my hair out of my face and Tomas raised his eyebrows, "Romeo didn't do anything about that mark? That's too bad, it's draining you."

I looked at him confused, until I saw the black finger prints that circled my wrist. It hadn’t been there when I left Cassian earlier. I would’ve noticed it. Pieces of a dream I had had came flashing back to me. A shadow laughing, telling me Cassian would be the death of me yet again. Tomas asking me to rule the shadow world beside him.

The never ending cold. The shadows that were pleading for help, asking me to save them.

"I see you don't remember our little talk," he nodded his head and sighed, "they said it would be a side effect of the poison. So you haven't considered my offer then. The easy way or the hard way."

I couldn't take my eyes off my wrist. This black mark was huge and I had no idea when it had appeared or why. Cassian was going to go crazy when he saw it. But as I stared at the thing I realized that's why I was still tired. That's why I felt like I was fighting off the flu. I knew it the moment I saw the mark.

"I'll have Joe throw you out," I finally said glaring at Tomas, "don't talk about Cassian or me. Don't pretend like you actually want us together. This is some sick game to you."

He laughed, "maybe. But that doesn't mean I don't care about you. Because I do, Nes. I care about you so much."

"Stop calling me Nes. Just stop talking to me Tomas. Do you want a drink or not?"

He gave me his usual order and I filled it. Then I went to the back and tried to slow my heart. I could feel Cassian pulling on the imprint, my chest tight as he checked on me. I wondered if he could hear me thinking about the mark. I wondered if he felt the effects of it too.

God. When was I going to be able to read him?

I pushed my hair out of my face and pressed a cold cloth against my neck. The panicking was back and it made my heart keep beating faster than Cassian's. I knew he was going to drop whatever he was doing and come running to me soon. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to settle myself. I wanted to get through one day, at least one whole shift without worrying my mate. I wanted to feel like I was still in control of my life.

Just when I thought I had it together that damn mark flashed in the mirror and the panic set in again. How was I supposed to get it off? And how had this happened inside a dream?

I jumped when the door shut loudly behind me. I turned around and Tomas stood there holding a chair. He placed it under the knob and turned towards me. He walked slowly through the kitchen, his fingers trailing on the metal table between us. He looked down and smiled as he picked up the knife sitting there. His smile was sickening as I dropped the cloth from my shaking hands.

He had never tried to hurt me before. This had always been about chasing me, never about hurting me. I never feared for my life until this moment. My chest went tight all at once and I knew I couldn’t push down my panic anymore. Cassian would know something was wrong. Cassian was probably on his way here now.

"I guess you're picking the hard way," he stepped towards me, "don't scream Nesta. This will only take a minute. And trust me, it’s going to hurt me more than you.”

I didn't even blink as he slashed the knife across my arm. It wasn't deep, just enough to draw blood. I gasped, more from surprise than pain. Tears filled my eyes as he grabbed a vial and took a few drops. Then pressed a new cloth against my skin.

"I'm sure Prince Charming will be here soon." The door knob rattled, "oh perfect right on schedule. Well if you excuse me I'm going to see my way out."

He ran out the back door as Cassian burst into the back room. The chair thudded to the floor as he pushed his way through the mess towards me. His breathing was ragged, his chest going up and down faster than ever. He grabbed me in his arms and I relaxed as we found each other.

"I felt your panic. And it wasn't because of Tomas and I just ran here," he was gasping for breath, "what happened sweetheart?"

He pulled my arm out, his eyes going to the black mark first, "Tomas did that. In a dream. It's why I'm still tired, it's draining my energy."

Cassian swore, "Lucien told me about this. If his intent was bad, if he touched you with the purpose of hurting you, your body hurts him in return. Because he isn't your mate, you're mine. It's your body's way of reminding him of that."

I sighed trying to understand what he was saying. I pushed my hair out of my face and showed him the other thing Tomas had done to me, "he cut me. For the purpose of getting my blood. God I'm so tired Cass. I don't have the energy to be upset."

He looked at the clock, "can you leave early? I just. Want to take you home. Olivia can take this thing off of you. Then we can rest. Together."

I nodded, "I'll tell Joe I got sick. It's only an hour early."

He kissed my forehead, "I'm so sorry I didn't get here faster."

"I'm fine Cass. I promise."

I went to find Joe and explained how I had gotten sick. He asked me if this was about Tomas and I couldn’t lie. I told him it was mostly because he had finally scared me. Joe told me it was fine and I could go home early tonight. He promised he’d deal with Tomas the next time he came in. Cassian had slipped out the back and waited for me outside. He pulled me in close as we walked back to his house. Lucien, Beron, and Olivia were there on the couch. They seemed happy to see us.

Until I showed them the mark.

"Get it off of her please. It's draining her energy I can feel it. Like a second pulse," he was close to tears as Olivia pulled me down beside her.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," she touched my cheek, "I can get it off of you. Just close your eyes."

I did as she told me and felt the heat of her hand wrapped around my wrist. I gasped as she undid what Tomas had done, the events playing back in my head. Only this time it played backwards, Tomas was already touching me as she went through the motions. I heard Olivia gasp as she saw the dream playing back in both our minds. Cassian's hand grabbed my knee, he needed to at least try and help me.

"This was because of a dream?" Olivia asked softly. I nodded as I felt the relief of having the mark gone, "good as new."

I all but fell into Cassian's arms, "take her to bed son," Beron looked at us, "she's exhausted. Go rest, but keep her close. As long as you're with her, touching her, he can't get in her head. We’ll... discuss what course of action to take against your cousin."

Lucien paled, "he's never been this way before. I am sorry."

I nodded and Cassian led me to his bedroom. I sighed as he shut the door, "so much for a night of dinner with you and my sisters."

"We can go to your house if you want."

I thought about Feyre and Elain, I hadn’t seen them since before the shadow had poisoned me. Right now I just wanted my sisters. I looked at my mate and swallowed my tears, “yeah. I want to go home.”

Cassian wrapped his arms around me and we went out the back door of Lucien’s house. I didn’t feel like explaining why I needed to go home and Cassian just wanted to make me happy. He held me as we walked down the shortcut through his neighborhood to mine. Then he pulled me into a tight hug before we went into my house.

“I’m sorry Nesta.”

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered softly as he wiped away another tear, “I will never regret you, Cass. Just like you’ll never stop caring for me, okay? You are my mate, my heart and soul. Don’t beat yourself up over what Tomas is doing, okay?”

He nodded, “come on, sweetheart. I’ll make dinner while you get some rest.”

He laced our fingers together and we walked into my house side by side. I felt stronger knowing no matter what, we would face this evil, Tomas and these shadows, together. And I knew no matter what happened, what took me away from him, I would never regret the moment he came back into my life.

I would never regret him.

[anotherbtslaundry-blog]

🌺AYEEE TIME FOR A TAG🌺

Thank you @jeonslilmonster for tagging me! 😊💕 Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!  
LAST [1] drink: fruit juice [2] phone call: a friend [3] text message: a friend but a different one from the phone call one [4] song you listened to: Come back home - BTS [5] time you cried: 3 days ago.. I'm a cry baby lmao [6] dated someone twice: ... haven't dated yet [7] been cheated on: if I haven't dated I can't be cheated on😂 [8] kissed someone and regretted it: haven't kissed anyone either.. lmao I'm a loser [9] lost someone special: no [10] been depressed: yeah a few years ago.. I am okay now😊 [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Didn't get drunk enough to throw up😁😁 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS [12] Red [13] Black [14] White IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yup😊 [16] fallen out of love: haven't fallen in love so can't fall out of love😂 [17] laughed until you cried: yup😁 [18] found out someone was talking about you: Yes but it doesn't matter anymore [19] met someone who changed you: yes [20] found out who your true friends are: yep [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no.. I already said I am a loser [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them [23] do you have any pets: 🐕🐶 a dog and I love him to death😍 [24] do you want to change your name: Nope. I like it😄 [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Had 2 exams. Finished them and was so beat to get up from the bed. My friends got me a cake tho 😁😀 [26] what time did you wake up: 9 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Tumblr😁😁 [28] name something you cannot wait for: getting a job I love [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: literally a second ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: nothing, really 😶 [31] what are you listening to right now: Come back home - BTS [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope [33] something that is getting on your nerves: my tonsils🙁 [34] most visited website: tumblr [35] elementary: I don't even remember it [36] high school: best time of my life [37] college: too much stress [38] hair colour: Black [39] long or short hair: Uhhhh.. Medium?? [40] do you have a crush on someone: right now? Does BTS count? Namjoon? [41] what do you like about yourself?: my height 😁 [42]piercings: one in each ear [43] blood type: B+ [44] nickname: TJ [45] relationship status: single (forever) [46] zodiac sign: Scorpio [47] pronouns: She/Her [48] fav tv show(s): Modern family, friends, Sherlock, Suits, etc [49] tattoos: None yet but I am thinking of getting one [50] right or left handed: right FIRST… [51] surgery: haven't had one yet [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: I am not even in contact with my first best friend 😓 [54] sport: don't have enough hand eye coordination for it😁😂 [55] vacation: Goa [56] pair of trainers: I guess Nike? [57] eating: first meal I had as a baby? Jaggery cubes [58] drinking: I did shots😂 [59] i’m about to: watch another movie [60] listening to: now I am listening to 4 o'clock [61] waiting for: someone to get me out of the mess that is my life [62] want: too many things at once [63] get married: Idk we'll see.. [64] career: idk just give me a job😂 YOUR TYPE… [65] hugs or kisses: HUGS [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: idc.. both? [72] hook up or relationship: both😁 [73] troublemaker or hesitant: still both😁 
HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: no [75] drank hard liquor?: yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: Nah [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date?: I haven't even kissed anyone yet.. [79] broken someone’s heart?: Kinda? [80] had your own heart broken?: not really [81] been arrested?: Nope [82] cried when someone died?: yes [83] fallen for a friend: ...it was just a short lived crush 
DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: I guess?? [85] miracles?: Yes [86] love at first sight?: no but I believe in infatuation at first sight [87] santa claus?: Of course😂 [88] kiss on the first date?: I am fine with it but someone take me out on a date please!! [89] angels?: no [90] current best friend’s name: it starts with N [91] eye colour: Black [92] favourite movies: 10 things I hate about you, spirited away, Howl's moving castle, anything horror, I watched Train to Busan today it might become my favourite too , I have many more.. I tag @taeminnie-cupcake, @phanadox, @jungkookjimins, @the-hoeseok, @jungkook-e, @mytaeddy, @heyhosam , @nerobtsed, @yestaeday, @cursived, @ohfuckcourse, @seoraksan, @smolparkjimin, @jiminie-minime 😊 I know I am forgetting some blogs but I am too lazy to go and check😂 You don't have to do this if you don't want to tho 😅 Except for you Nana, you have to do this😈

[poodleyeol]

rules //write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people

i was tagged by @wifan and @chanyeolsabs ~~~~ thank you so much to the both of you im so excited lets do this :3

LAST…

[1] drink: water :/ how boring [2] phone call: my mummm D; [3] text message: once again, my mum D; [4] song you listened to: kaching by cbx!!!!! such a jam!!!! [5] time you cried: about a week ago ehehehe thats pretty good for me~

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: nope~ [7] been cheated on: i’m like 99.99999% sure I haven’t :3 [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yyyeesss i blew my first kiss on some gross dude in like 3rd grade D; [9] lost someone special: not yet ;u; [10] been depressed: ummm i think?? maybe?? [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: YES AHAH only once thank god (but i threw up twice...)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] pastel pink!! [13] dark green~ [14] all other pastels~

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: YES i mean only online but that counts right~? [16] fallen out of love: nope~ [17] laughed until you cried: absolutely bahahah [18] found out someone was talking about you: i dont think so~? [19] met someone who changed you: i dont think so~ [20] found out who your true friends are: hmmm not in a negative sense, more that i’m becoming a little more certain that my true friends really care about me ^^ [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeah technically my gf is my friend on facebook~

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, but they’re all people from my grade in high school  [23] do you have any pets: yesss~ a dog and a cat <3 [24] do you want to change your name: nahhh I can’t imagine being anything other than demi ^^;;;; [25] what did you do for your last birthday: uugghhhh it sucked i had to spend it with family and i didn’t do anything fun D; [26] what time did you wake up: 9:40am~ [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i was trying to do my writing assignment~ (and failing) [28] name something you cannot wait for: eXO’S cOMMEBBACKKKK sAVE ME [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last night~ [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how ugly i am/how lazy i am/how i get nervous and stressednover really stupid small things/the list goes on [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing right now~ [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: um i think so?? very briefly?? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: having to do so much homework when all i want to do is go on tumblr and write == [34] most visited website: i assume it’s tumblr?? bahaha [35] elementary: i was a huge loser but i had friends somehow bahah [36] high school: the time when i was a massive weeb... i dont know why anyone talked to me [37] college: stRESS [38] hair color: brown~~~ [39] long or short hair: it was long but I just cut it today so now it’s medium-ish length! [40] do you have a crush on someone: all i have is the bae<3 [41] what do you like about yourself: not much the fact that i care very intensely about the people i like [42] piercings: none~ i had my ears done when i was like... 7 or 8 but i didnt end up liking it so i let them close :3 [43] blood type: no idea... but i’m gonna guess A [44] nickname: i dont really have one but my manager at work calls me “Demz” [45] relationship status: basically married bahaha [46] zodiac sign: aquarius/pisces [47] pronouns: she/her~~ [48] fav tv show: i dont have one favourite~ just anything funny! [49] tattoos: noneee~ [50] right or left hand: right hand~

FIRST…

[51] surgery: I’ve never had one~ [52] piercing: the aforementioned ear piercing that i let die :3 [53] best friend: ummmmmm good question... because maybe it was Orly, but she didn’t like me much, and then there was Belinda, but she was always a fair bit older than me... and then Kyaa was my first primary school friend, but i don’t think i ever would have called her my best friend...... okay ill stop ehehe [54] sport: ew. um i did tae kwon do for a bit does that count..? [55] vacation: uMMM i wouldn’t remember bahahah [56] pair of trainers: i have no idea i didn’t start paying attention to shoes until i was much older ^^;;;;

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: i just had some cheese and crackers before :3 [58] drinking: water again :/ but i had a smoothie like an hour ago~ [59] i’m about to: finish this off and then put off doing my assignment!!!!! [60] listening to: nothinggggg~ [61] waiting for: exo’s comeback. and mum to get home and make dinner~ [62] want: for exo to be happy and healthy ;u; [63] get married: i mean i already feel married so~ <3 [64] career: noonnnnnneeee i am a sad broke student~

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: i think i like hugs more...? maybe...? i dunno both is good <3 [66] lips or eyes: eyes!!!! [67] shorter or taller: tAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! i mean i bias chanyeol what do you expect me to answer this with bahaha [68] older or younger: either is fine~! [70] nice arms or nice stomach: chanyeol’s lil tummy <3 [71] sensitive or loud: i love loud people because i’m a meek lil kitten who needs help in conversation :3 [72] hook up or relationship: relationship~~~ [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker!! because i’m hesitant and if we’re both hesitant nothing will get done!

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? the dude i kissed in year 3 was almost a stranger pretty much but uh no not really~ [75] drank hard liquor? what constitutes as hard liquor...? look probably yes bahahah [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i don’t have them~ [77] turned someone down: only like once >< [78] sex on first date? umm i’ve never been on a proper first date so i couldn’t say for sure~~ [79] broken someone’s heart? not that i’m aware of >< [80] had your own heart broken? no~ [81] been arrested? thank god no ahaha [82] cried when someone died? i assume ...? so??? [83] fallen for a friend? yes~~~ and somehow it turned out well for me ^^;;

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? ew no i can’t do shit bahaha [85] miracles? i guess so~? [86] love at first sight? maybe like. extreme attraction and extreme chemistry at first sight... close enough!! [87] Santa Claus? i mean. no. ahahah sorry children everywhere~ [88] kiss on the first date? yeah sure??? why not if the date went well then totally! [89] angels? yes. i know of nine amazing angels. they’re called exo. <3

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: i mean my gf is basically also my best friend so Lici :3 [91] eye color: brown~ [92] favorite movie: uuhhh maybe zootopia bahaha

i will tag~ um i think a lot of my friends have already been tagged ^^;; @homosidalbrainiac, @hunniedae, @baekshitbyun, @lost-my-utopia, @minnyc24 and um anyone else who wants to do this~!!

[harpyr]

tagged by: @qiu-jin thanks i love doing these tag things

rules: once you have been tagged, you’re supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

LAST…

[1] drink: orange juice was the last proper drink but i am always drinking water 

[2] phone call: my mum probably i dont really call people i prefer texting

[3] text message: my best friend

[4] song you listened to: “liability” by lorde

[5] time you cried: within the last week (cant remember the exact day) because i let myself get feelings

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: need to date someone once for that to happen 

[7] been cheated on: no

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: no

[9] lost someone special: (i’m assuming in a romantic context??) yeah well they were special at the time

[10] been depressed: yes

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

[12] turquoise 

[13] magenta

[14] lime green

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: yes

[16] fallen out of love: no

[17] laughed until you cried: yes, i did this on thursday actually 

[18] found out someone was talking about you: yes

[19] met someone who changed you: yes

[20] found out who your true friends are: honestly i feel like you can never truly find this out unless you go through something big so no 

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, i think there’s only like 5 that i havent met irl yet

[23] do you have any pets: yeah a leonberger puppy called ziggy. I need to upload pics of him on here 

[24] do you want to change your name: sometimes maybe to my pen name 

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: it was just before exam season so i didnt do anything special

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping, i was ill so i had an early night

[28] name something you cannot wait for: summer i have so many plans 

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: an hour ago

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change your self: anxiety but im working on that 

[31] what are you listening to right now: nothing but im watching deidra and laney rob a train on netflix

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: a certain kind of arrogance 

[34] most visited website: tumblr

[35] junior school / elementary: i miss back when everything was stress free

[36] senior school / high school: i guess it could be worse 

[37] university / college: i know where i think i want to go but im scared of how much work im going to have to do or if its going to be whats right for me

[38] hair color: dark brown but i want to dye it 

[39] long or short hair: shortish but i want to grow it out

[40] do you have a crush on someone: not anymore

[41] what do you like about yourself: my writing and 

[42] piercings: none yet

[43] blood type: idk

[44] nicknames: loads once in spanish our table made a mind map that was filled with nicknames for me

[45] relationship status: single

[46] zodiac sign: capricorn

[47] pronouns: he/him or they/them

[48] fav tv show: ive not really watched tv recently but i love black mirror and the oa

[49] tattoos: none so far but ive got a design planned

[50] right- or left-handed: right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: when i was really young i dont remember it and i cant see the scar even

[52] piercing: don’t have any

[53] best friend: im not sure who my first one was but it was prob at my old school but i dont talk to anyone there anymore

[54] sport: rugby back when it was compulsory

[55] vacation: france when i was eight i think 

[56] pair of trainers: who can remember this 

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: nothing 

[59] i’m about to take: idk what this means 

[60] listening to: it already asks this earlier

[61] waiting for: this movie to finish so i can go and pick up my books from school 

[62] want: to not be ill

[63] get married: no

[64] career: im wanting to go into forensic academia with consultancy work and move to canada 

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: kisses

[66] lips or eyes: eyes

[67] shorter or taller: tall but im not picky 

[68] older or younger: same age

[69] romantic or spontaneous: why not both

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms but personality is more important 

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook-up or relationship: relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker to balance out hesitant me so we actually do stuff

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? no

[75] drank hard liquor? no

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? dont wear glasses 

[77] turned someone down? kinda

[78] sex on first date? not sure if it was a date tbh 

[79] broken someone’s heart? no

[80] had your own heart broken? who hasnt

[81] been arrested? no

[82] cried when someone died? yes 

[83] fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? sometimes

[85] miracles? honestly no

[86] love at first sight? no you can like at first sight but not love

[87] santa claus? this really asks this 

[88] kiss on the first date? yeah

[89] angels? no 

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: alex

[91] eye color: dark brown

[92] favorite movie: girl, interrupted or anything with ellen page

tagging: @agentgalpal @pemberelys @enyos @followtheswarm @patroclus-chironides @outofthefireintothefryingpan @julietcapulct @lilyevians @athenuas @cyanopeplus @lunar--sunshine @gushing---gold @wesmallsparrows @quitefearless fuck it i cba doing 25 so this is enough

[naricie]

92 truth tag

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people

Ok I wasn’t officially tagged in this but a very good friend of mine tagged “whoever wanted to do this” so I’m doing this (thanx @wingsofthenorth)

LAST…

[1] drink: Pepsi MAX <3 [2] phone call: hm... my mom I think [3] text message: mom too.. I think [4] song you listened to: oh. erm... something from Bastille [5] time you cried: yesterday... I’ve been working SO much lately and I was just SO tired, so yah ^^’’ I can sleep on sunday though so I’m good hehe

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Never [7] been cheated on: Not that I know of... [8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope [9] lost someone special: Yah, a few, grandparents on mom’s side, other grandpa, my uncle and my dad =( [10] been depressed: Yupp =/ [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Never had alcohol actually, so nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] Pink [13] Yeallow [14] Green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Hm... I dont actally think so [16] fallen out of love: Nope, did that last year hehe [17] laughed until you cried: Many many times XD  [18] found out someone was talking about you: Nope. oh no wait! I did! and he’s an ASS so his opinion dosn’t matter.. I’ll just ignore his existence [19] met someone who changed you: not this year (yet)  [20] found out who your true friends are: Definetly! ^^ [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: Yah I think so [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all of them, I keep my fb friend list short. [23] do you have any pets: I wish!! <3 but sadly no =( [24] do you want to change your name: Nope, it might be a little short and boring but I like it ^^ [25] what did you do for your last birthday: I.. hm... OMG I can’t remember XD I think I invited my family over for dinner. I didn’t celabate it much this year. [26] what time did you wake up: 8.30ish ...which is way too early if you ask me -_- [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfic’s I think [28] name something you cannot wait for: Oh.. erm.. my life to finally be stable and secure? heh.. ^^’’’  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: about 5 hours ago ^^ [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I want to have a stable job and secure economy! GOD I sound so boring but honestly having that would save me so much stress XO [31] what are you listening to right now: The sound of my computer buzzing and cars passing by outside my apartment... [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes! There was a guy named Tom in my class in high school (although we didn’t that talk much) [33] something that is getting on your nerves: Nothing much at the moment, thank god XD haha [34] most visited website: Youtube, definetly youtube XD [35] elementary: ??? what? as in did I go to elementary school this last year?? what do you mean? [36] high school: again.. what?? It’s been almost 10 years since I finished school. [37] college: Never did go to collage or uni. Tried ones.. didn’t like it [38] hair color: Copper-ish brown kinda? [39] long or short hair: At the moment it’s WAY long. like 10 cm past my shoulders =O I need to cut it! [40] do you have a crush on someone: Nope. I’m very picky ;) [41] what do you like about yourself: A lot of things actally. Like how much more confident I’ve gotten in the last few years. I just like who I am. And well.. maybe that’s enough? ^^ hehe [42] piercings: My ears? but I never use earrins.. [43]blood type: No idea. But I’d love to know hehe [44] nickname: Never really had any sadly =(  [45] relationship status: Very much single ^^ [46] zodiac sign: Capricorn  [47] pronouns: She, Her... all things womanly hehe [48] fav tv show: Hm... I’m gotten really hooked on Riverdale at the moment [49] tattoos: Nope, but I’d like to get one =D [50] right or left hand: Right~

FIRST…

[51] surgery: Never had surgery actally ^^ [52] piercing: Ears [53] best friend: I have more than one =D which is odd becase just 10 years ago I had no frinds at all, so I’m very happy ^^ [54] sport: what is this sports? thing? never heard of it... [55] vacation: I think the very first “real” vacation my family went on was to the Netherlands. We drove there, through Denmark, where we stoped to go to Lego Land. It was a lot of fun! and the Netherlands was so petty! I remember getting this HUGE cold on our long drive home though.. that was less fun hehe [56] pair of trainers: what? as in my first shoes? or...? I’m so confused

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing, but just a liiittle while ago I ate cheese doodles 8D [58] drinking: Pepsi MAX [59] i’m about to: Donno... keep sitting in front of my computer wasting time? hehe [60] listening to: Nothing much [61] waiting for: Nothing much... [62] want: to... Donno.. I want a lot of things hehe [63] get married: well.. one day I might wana get marrried? is that the question? I donno XD I am going to a wedding later this year though! My childhood friend is getting married =D that’s super cool! [64] career: dont have much of one right now. I work part time at two shops and one of them are closing =( tomorrow actually. It’s the last day. It’s kinda sad because I really liked that job. [65] hugs or kisses: Depends on who I’m huggin or kissing ;) [66] lips or eyes: Eyes I guess? [67] shorter or taller: couldn’t care less ^^ [68] older or younger: Depends on how much XD and depends on if it’s a boyfriend or just friend XD Friends I can have in any age but a boyfriend.. well, I’d rather be with someone my age or older. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Really couldn’t care less [71] sensitive or loud: Neither? both? no idea XD [72] hook up or relationship: Definetly relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: I’d have to say troublemaker since I’m rather hesitant ^^ opposites attract right?

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? hm... depends on how you define stranger hehe [75] drank hard liquor? Nope [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? dont use those so nope [77] turned someone down: Yah, a few times [78] sex on first date? Well... ^^’ kinda? well.. not really. We weren’t on an actual date, but we had just met... but we’d known each other for a year.. and well... I donno XD haha Dose that count? [79] broken someone’s heart? Maybe ones? ^^’ [80] had your own heart broken? Dont think so. Gotten my hopes up and been a little disapointed maybe onse or twice, but that’s about it ^^ [81] been arrested? Nope [82] cried when someone died? What kind of question is this??? Like I assume they mean someone you know, and then yah of course?? what kind of heartless bastard do you think I am??  [83] fallen for a friend? Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? YES =D [85] miracles? No =( [86] love at first sight? For some people yes, for me, definetly not [87] Santa Claus? Well, you never know XD [88] kiss on the first date? Sure, if it’s a really good date, the mood is right and all that. But just like a small kiss, Maybe? I donno. Not very likely to happen for me, but I’m not ruling it out [89] angels? Nope

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Got more than one ^^ you now who you are ;) <3 [91] eye color: green~ [92] favorite movie: At the moment.. hm... Megamind XD

I’m tagging YOU. Yes you, you reading this =D So go do this now =D it’s fun!

[winterballads]

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose how many people you want to tag! 

I was tagged by @hjertetssunnegalskap, tusen takk! :D I don’t think I’ll tag anybody this time, though, because I’ve been doing many memes like this lately and don’t want to be too annoying haha ;P

LAST…

1. drink: green tea


2. phone call: honestly can’t remember, it was a while ago :D

3. text message: my friend @boobsandcleverness <3

4. song you listened to: Sigur Rós - Untitled 1

5. time you cried: when I watched Moana a couple of days ago :’)

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. dated someone twice: nope :(

7. been cheated on: no since I’ve never actually been with anyone lol :/

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no (see above)

8. lost someone special: definitely

10. been depressed: sad yes, but not clinically depressed

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I was drunk only once and it really wasn’t enough to throw up

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:


12. green (in all shades, but especially emerald and mint green)

13. fuchsia

14. turquoise

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…


15. made new friends: YES <3

16. fallen out of love: ehmm no 


17. laughed until you cried: for sure, that happens relatively often!


18. found out someone was talking about you: yet, but mostly positively I think :D

19. met someone who changed you: yes

20. found out who your true friends are: yes, though I think I usually have an instinct for that in the first place

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: lol never kissed anyone, so... :/

GENERAL…


22. how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: three, I think :)

23. do you have any pets: yes, the most fantastic cat in the entire universe <3

24. do you want to change your name: I’d like to get my grandma’s name as my second name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: celebrated with my close friends and family

26. what time did you wake up: 6.45 AM

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was asleep or trying to sleep

28. name something you cannot wait for: the fourth SKAM season and my trip to Sweden and Norway in May <3


29. when was the last time you saw your mother: August last year :’(

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I’d like to get completely rid of my anxiety   

31. what are you listening to right now: Noah - Det’ okay

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: 
for sure, I’m living with a Thomas at the moment :D

33. something that is getting on your nerves: when people don’t clean up after themselves tbh :/

35. elementary: yes


36. high school: yes


37. college: yes

38. hair colour: golden brown


39. long or short hair: long


40. do you have a crush on someone: unfortunately yes ughh :(


41. what do you like about yourself: many things haha, but mostly the fact that I’m so passionate, dedicated, perseverant and motivated and have a super strong drive 

42. piercings: none


43. blood type: omg I don’t remember lol, but I think it’s quite a common one

44. nickname: Bob in honour of Spongebob Squarepants (but only my mom is allowed to call me that) :D


45. relationship status: forever aloneeeee

46. zodiac sign: cancer

47. pronouns: she/her


48. fav tv show: my top three at the moment is SKAM, Hannibal and The Bridge <3

49. tattoos: just one on my back (Elvish writings with a tree, a moon and a sun) :3

50. right or left handed: right

FIRST…


51. surgery: do wisdom teeth count?

52. piercing: my ears many years ago, but the holes have closed back :(


53. best friend: a wonderful girl called Thoai-Quyen <3 <3

54. sport: hmm probably gymnastics or soccer

55. vacation: can’t remember what it was exactly, but probably a camping trip somewhere in Québec with my mom, step-dad and sisters :)

56. pair of trainers: lol I think I never had any haha (you can see I’m the biggest sports fan)

RIGHT NOW…


57. eating: just finished eating bread with leverpostej, peanut butter and jam (not together, of course!)


58. drinking: water

59. i’m about to: continue reading the amazing Evak fic with love, from anonymous <3

60. listening to: Jakob Karlberg - Fan va bra

61. waiting for: the season 4 trailer ahhhhhh

62. want: to go to a conference about SKAM’s use of social media this evening :D

63. get married: to a wonderful girl who loves me and makes me feel happy and safe, but tbh I’m starting to doubt this’ll ever happen

64. career: omg please don’t talk to me about a future career, that topic stresses me out so much 

65. hugs or kisses: BOTH

66. lips or eyes: ...both as well :’)

67. shorter or taller: I really don’t care 

68. older or younger: doesn’t matter as long as the age different isn’t too big

69. romantic or spontaneous: both


70. nice arms or nice stomach: mmm both lol <3


71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 


71. hook up or relationship: relationship 100%

73. troublemaker or hesitant: maybe something in-between?

HAVE YOU EVER…


74. kissed a stranger: lol no, probably never will :P

75. drank hard liquor: definitely


76. lost glasses/contact lenses: not really


77. turned someone down: too many times, cause the only people interested in me seem to be guys and, well, I don’t really like guys :///

78. sex on first date: haahahaha I wish

79. broken someone’s heart: I hope not omg :(


80. had your own heart broken:  oh yes...

81. been arrested: nope

82. cried when someone died: yep :(


83. fallen for a friend: ughhh unfortunately yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…


84. yourself: completely

85. miracles: maybe, but certainly not in the religious sense

86. love at first sight: perhaps crush at first sight, but I think true love takes some time

87. santa claus: haha nope

88. kiss on the first date: sure :)


89. angels: I wish I did, but not really

OTHER…


90. current best friend’s name: Thoai-Quyen <3

91. eye colour: brown

92. favourite movie: LORD OF THE RINGS DJGHJFD

[meaniegf]

tagged by @dimplehobi​  thankies 💌

rules: answer the q’s and then tag 20 people at the end 

nickname(s): none lol

gender: female

star sign: scorpio

height: 4′10 lmfdaoo

time right now: 1117AM

last thing i googled: emails mystic messenger (I REDOWNLOADED THE GAME OK YES)

favorite bands: well other than bts n my kpop groups paramore probably

favorite solo artists: mnfksdf idk

song stuck in my head: not today 

last movie i watched: i dont remember :O probably your name that was so long ago

last tv show i watched: i dont watch much tv

when did you create your blog: this blog??? uhhh feb 2015 mayb

what stuff do u post: :+) 

when did ur blog reach its peak: uh idk really probably in late 2015 when i started making original content 

do you have any other blogs: ya my food sideblog @/eatrin LMAO

do you get asks regularly: nah not really :O

why did you choose your url: bc jin... so handsome and perfect.. for Why

following: 439

posts: 28164

hogwarts house: its either hufflepuff or gryffindor

pokemon team: mystic bitch

favorite colors: black/red/maroon/burgundy

average hours of sleep: 7-8 is my ideal 

favorite characters: .............uchiha itachi

what are you wearing right now: striped shirt and shorts

how many blankets do you sleep with: one 

dream job: a .. middle school teacher but im stuck at the preschool lvl for now

dream trip: !!! japan/s.korea!! new zealand bc my friend said its awfully pretty aaah OSWIN WE BASICLALY WANNA GO TO THE SAME PLACES LETS GO

92 truths tag

tagged by @okimtae for this one this iS SO LATE BUT thx sophie 🌷  AH and i love ur blog theme btw its so cute

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mum [3] text message: probably something vague like “JVXCJVSD” [4] song you listened to: 드림 by bolbbalgan4 xfzmnf i luv the song sm [5] time you cried: like.  i think... 3 days ago?

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no i havent kissed yet [9] lost someone special: yeah my grandpa [10] been depressed: lmfao [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no i havent gotten drunk sfdFSDlgsjk

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] black [13] red [14] ..maroon/burgundy

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: uuuuh yes if u count online [16] fallen out of love: who [17] laughed until you cried: i think so [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah! but in a good way [19] met someone who changed you: i guess, [20] found out who your true friends are: wat r friends [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yike.. no.. i dont even fb anymore

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: uh probably like 98% [23] do you have any pets: no :( [24] do you want to change your name: nah [25] what did you do for your last birthday: doing my kids’ report cards..... lol [26] what time did you wake up: uhh i had trouble sleeping for some reason so i woke up late like at 10 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i dont remember [28] name something you cannot wait for: uhhhh i want a nice job n to have money asap [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: two days ago  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my anxiety.. be gone with it [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: no [33] something that is getting on your nerves: a lot of things [34] most visited website: uh tumblr probably n then like yt [35] elementary: sucks ass [36] high school: ugly but tolerable [37] college: fun while it lasted [38] hair colour: black [39] long or short hair: uh ....... its to my chin [40] do you have a crush on someone: does jimin count [41] what do you like about yourself? ill get back to u on that [42] piercings: multiple on both ears, 4 incl a helix one on left and then three on right [43] blood type: I duNNO this stresses me out i need to find out so i can read up shit like personality articles based on blood types [44] nickname: none [45] relationship status: lmfao [46] zodiac sign: scorpio 👅 [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i dont rly watch tv so.,  [49] tattoos: none [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: does sticking some hot rod up my nose count bc i used 2 hav alot of nosebleeds and had to go for some ENT treatment the doc literally burned the hot metal rod and shoved it up my nose   [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: uh [54] sport: uhhhh [55] vacation: malaysia lmfaoo [56] pair of trainers: i dont think i ever had trainers

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing.. i should eat tho [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: start crying in the club [60] listening to: the A/C vent noise [61] waiting for: nothing [62] want: to hold a cute boy’s hand [63] get married: ill think about it [64] career: left my previous job but im a preschool tchr

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: both [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older, but the women in my fam r with younger guys so we’ll find out lmfaooo although personally i prefer older men .. jin hmu [69] romantic or spontaneous: idk [70] nice arms or nice stomach: why not both [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive? [72] hook up or relationship: i dunno, [73] troublemaker or hesitant: i think i have enough hesitance in me to cover for the whole r/s

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nah [75] drank hard liquor? nah [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? nope [77] turned someone down: i dont think so [78] sex on first date? nah [79] broken someone’s heart? hopefully , JUST KIDDING probably not [80] had your own heart broken? not romantically [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? yea [83] fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? good qn [85] miracles? not really   [86] love at first sight? nah [87] santa claus? no lmao [88] kiss on the first date? i mean whatever [89] angels? yea?

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: a what now [91] eye colour: black or dark dark brown. but it looks black [92] favourite movie: ghibli movies, your name

2 lazy to tag xmkdfsd but if u can do it if u wana !